Week 6 -The Student - Semester 2 - 20092010

Tuesday February 16 2010 | Week 6

The Rocky Road to EUSA Elections

NEWS C U LT U R E

» P3 » P14

S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2009 S I N C E 1887

T H E U K ' S O LD E S T S T U D EN T N EW S PA P ER

Plans to open private university Independent schools cash in on student dissatisfaction

ACCOSTED: People and Planet present Chancellor of the Exchequer Alistair Darling with signatures supporting a campaign to turn the Royal Bank of Scotland into a green bank whilst visiting the Informatics Forum

Graduate tax back on debating table Universities Scotland convener calls for graduate contribution to higher education Joshua King CALLS WERE renewed this week for the introduction of a tax on university graduates, as a leading figure in the higher education sector has suggested that Scottish students should contribute throughout their working lives towards higher education for future generations.

Bernard King, the new convener of Universities Scotland, the main representative umbrella group for university principals, stated that he had “always favoured hypothecated taxation whereby all graduates, depending on how much they are earn-

ing, pay a proportion of their salary, throughout their working lives, into a fund which is then used to fund universities.”

King said the tax could be set at about a penny in the pound and would not be payable by those under a certain salary threshold.

“We benefit throughout our earning lives from the education we get and, if we accept that premise, I think we should pay something back.”

EUSA President Thomas Graham, called the tax a “positive step in terms of discussions from those who are calling for student contributions to pay for higher education.”

“If we have to have that conversation then it is important that it is not centred around tuition fees, as it is south of the border.”

Graham also told The Student that he is eager to widen the scope of the debate on higher education funding, stating that he was “concerned that the discussion is only about funding universities and not supporting students.

“The top priority of any review of higher education funding must look at how we can provide the financial support to students that keeps them out of poverty.”

A graduate endowment fee was previously in place between 2005 and 2008, whereby Scottish and EU students at universities in Scotland contributed to the higher education sector through a one off payment of £2,289, however the scheme was scrapped by the SNP. The introduction of ‘top-up’ tuition fees has also been ruled out.

Many sector experts are anxious that without new means of generating revenue to supplement public funding, Scottish institutions will become unable to compete with those south of the border.

The introduction of the graduate tax could help maintain competitiveness in the face of any rise in top-up fees in England, and King’s statement comes at a time when universities across the UK face growing

concerns over cuts to government higher education budgets.

Universities UK released a report two weeks ago highlighting the benefits that variable tuition fees have brought to English universities.

Since their introduction in 2006, a total of £1.3 billion in new income has enabled increased funding for bursaries and scholarship, improved staff to student ratios and increased investment in buildings and infrastructure.

The evidence will form a significant component of Universities UK’s contribution to the Independent Review of Higher Education Funding & Student Finance.

Last week, The Student reported that the Higher Education Council in England is to cut public funding by £3,449 million.

The Scottish Funding Council is due to announce its budget for universities in March. news@studentnewspaper.org

CHRIS CONWAY / CHRIS-CONWAY.CO.UK.

Guy Rughani A GROUP of Britain’s elite private schools has drawn up plans to open a university focussed on teaching rather than research, responding to parents and students dissatisfied with the low contact time and poor quality teaching in many of the UK’s higher education institutions.

The organisation behind the plan, the Headmasters’ and Headmistresses’ Conference (HMC) believe that there is an appetite for a university education which offers smaller class sizes, increased contact time and real accountability regarding teaching quality.

Bernard Trafford, the former chairman of the HMC is a key backer, saying: “I don’t think you’ll find many parents who are happy that at age 18 their children go to university and get four hours’ teaching a week.

“When they paid school fees they got a lot more. I can see an awful lot of independent school pupils would see this as an attractive alternative. It would be all about dependable quality and high accountability to the people paying the fees.”

The Student conducted a brief poll on whether there is currently enough focus on teaching quality at Edinburgh. 25 of the 30 people asked thought that the aims of the private university sounded positive and an improvement on the current system.

Mike Peters, a third year Geography student commented: “I think we’d all agree that arts and humanities students at pretty much every university are fed up with the complete lack of teaching that goes on.

Private uni sounds good – at least you’d learn something!”

The HMC university would have fees of £10,000 per year, considerably cheaper than many HMC schools.

Eton, the group’s premier member, charges annual fees of £27,000.

‘Access to university’ groups have slated the plans as another setback to students from lower income families wanting to receive the best education.

“The old school tie brigade have Continued on page 2 »

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

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What’s in this issue NEWS »p1-6 Teaching Tragedy p4

» Fulbright scholars set for Edinburgh

Teacher training being cut by 40% across Scotland

SOCIETY OSCARS p5

News covers the societal celebration

COMMENT »p8-9 FOOTSIE BALL! p9

Davie Heaton tackles homophobia in football

ARTS&FEATURES »p11-21 BIN IT p12

Lara Zarum

THE PRESTIGIOUS Fulbright Commission has chosen the University of Edinburgh as a destination for top American scholars. The university recently received the Fulbright-Scotland Visiting Professorship, a major award “offered to a US citizen to contribute to the intellectual life of the University of Edinburgh.”

Starting in 2011, Edinburgh University will host three scholars for a six-month period each over three years.

Each recipient is awarded £25,000 and will be expected to participate in lectures and seminars within the College of Humanities and Social Science.

Professor David Fergusson, VicePrincipal of the College of Humanities and Social Science, asserted that the presence of high-calibre academics

from the US "will bring to the College new ideas and vigour in the specialist areas of their research and teaching."

Prospective scholars have until 1 August 2010 to submit their applications to the Fulbright Commission.

The winners are announced the following March.

The Scottish Government revealed in 2008 that it would pledge £180,000 towards funding the Fulbright Commission. Fiona Hyslop, the Cabinet Secretary for Education and Lifelong Learning, announced that Scotland would contribute £60,000 a year for three years, starting in 2008/9. “The Scottish Government is determined to create a self-confident, outward looking Scotland,” Hyslop said, “and to increase the skills of our people to help the nation emerge strongly from the current economic downturn.”

The Fulbright programme currently

operates in 144 countries with 51 commissions. The late Senator J. William Fulbright founded the US-UK Educational Commission, commonly known as the Fulbright Commission, in 1948.

Around 50 scholars from the US and 50 from the UK receive the prestigious award every year to study at the postgraduate level, teach, or conduct research in their host country.

Former recipients of Fulbright scholarships include novelist Ian Rankin, poet Sylvia Plath, and former Liberal Democrat leader Charles Kennedy. Thirty-nine Fulbright alumni have gone on to win the Nobel Prize.

Professor Fergusson stressed that the award "underlines the international profile of the work in the College and the highly-respected calibre of our academic staff." news@studentnewspaper.org

Features investigates Edinburgh's Zero Waste Project

BEHIND THE LOOKING GLASS p14

Jen Bowden reviews Bedlam's Alice in Wonderland

COLIN FIRTH GETS SERIOUS p17

Film's Remington Smith reviews A Single Man

OWL CITY NOT A HOOT p18

Who gives a hoot about Owl City's album in Music TIMES ONLINE.

NO I WON'T DO YOUR MUM p19

TV grins and bears 'sexy' mums with delusions of grandeur

ALEXANDER MCQUEEN p21

Lifestyle laments the death of a fashion legend

SPORT »p23-24

FULBRIGHT SCHOLAR: Charles Kennedy was Fulbright funded student at Indiana University

IN

Brief

WHEELEY FUN p24

Allan Love reports from BUCS Cyclocross championships

p20 The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org

Nightline runnerup in national competition UNIVERSITY OF Edinburgh society Nightline was recognised at the national BT/Telephone Helplines Association Awards last week for their instant messenger service.

Nightline provides help and support to students via telephone, email and instant messenger every night of term between 8pm and 8am. It is staffed entirely by students and has been in operation since 1974.

Nightline was applauded for their ‘innovative use of technology to deliver a helpline service.’

A Nightline volunteer said: “We are really proud that our E-Listening instant messenger service has been recognised by the Helplines Association. It is a testament to what students can achieve with their effort and creativity.”

JSC

Scottish university to open London campus GLASGOW CALEDONIAN University has revealed plans to open a base in London in order to attract foreign students. GCU will offer postgraduate courses in business and finance starting in September later this year. It plans to initially enroll 100 students and a further 300 over the coming years.

GCU Vice-Chancellor Pamela Gillies said, ‘GCU, like all UK universities, needs to ensure that it maintains a profile fit to allow it to compete successfully in the global educational market.’ The plan is to use existing lectures and professors that already work in Glasgow.

The campus will be located in the Spitalfields area of the city. It is the first Scottish institution that will be based in the capital.

JC

From front page... ...realised that the hoi polloi can now get an Oxbridge education so now they want to move the goal posts”, contested a secondary school teacher from Leeds.

Terence Kealey, vice-chancellor of Buckingham University, currently the UK’s only private higher education institution, is a major figure behind the HMC plan.

In response to the shouts of elitism he noted that mainstream university fees are likely to rise significantly over the next few years, so the private universities could end up in the middle of the range in terms of cost.

Kealey plans that the HMC university would set up in the grounds of Buckingham, and then once funds were secured (about £25 million), would move to a separate site - probably in Wye, Kent. The intake of students is likely to be about 2,000 each year, choosing from a fairly limited range of science, medical and arts degrees. news@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

news@studentnewspaper.org

News 3

Library faces Facebook ban MOTIONS TO be debated at the forthcoming EUSA General Meeting have been published, and will include a ban on Facebook in the library, implementation of an ethical and environmental strategy, and a revised attempt from EUSA to introduce online referenda.

Students will also have the chance to vote to improve feedback, lobby for fairer international student visa regulations and to improve the KB bus schedule.

‘Ban Facebook’, proposed by students Megan Taylor and Paris Gourtsoyannis, would prohibit use of the social networking site on Library computers between 10am and 4:30pm, Monday to Friday.

The pair note how students currently often need to wait for up to half an hour for a computer to become available, and that Facebook “distracts students from work they could be doing”.

A motion to introduce an ethical and environmental strategy for the first time is being proposed by EUSA Vice President Services James Wallace to complement the University’s goal of reducing carbon emissions by 10 per cent by 2010.

The motion aims to make EUSA a carbon neutral organization by 2020, through measures such as using profits from bottled water sales to set up an environmental fund and

the introduction of green grants for students to encourage involvement in environmental issues. Internal flights would also be banned except for in exceptional circumstances.

The EUSA Executive are also bringing back a motion to introduce online voting, which was rejected at November’s Annual General Meeting.

EUSA President Thomas Graham said: “Although the motion did not receive the required 75 per cent majority to permit it to pass, it did receive the backing of almost 70 per cent of those present at this meeting.

"We therefore feel it is appropriate to bring it back. This motion is about allowing the maximum number of students to vote on a new constitution, including those students who find it hard or impossible to attend General Meetings.

“It was also made clear to us that one of the main reasons for us failing to get the motion across was that people did not fully understand exactly how the referendum would work and we do take responsibility for that.”

The February GM is traditionally a time for prospective candidates for the upcoming EUSA elections to put forward ideas for debate that are likely to appear in their manifesto.

Presidential candidate, Liz Rawlings and Vice-President for Academic Affairs candidate, Stevie Wise, are proposing a motion to tackle the ongoing issue of poor feedback at the University.

Feedback has become a key concern across campus since Edinburgh was named worst in the UK by the National Student Survey in 2008, and Rawlings and Wise say that student’s needs are still not being met.

Despite measures taken to improve academic experience, the number of students saying they received satisfactory assessment and feedback in the NSS survey increased only marginally between 2008 and 2009, from 45 to 46 per cent of respondents.

The motion states that “EUSA has worked diligently with the University on feedback; putting in two years of effort but not seeing two years of results.”

If passed, the motion could see the creation of a representative body to tackle the problem head on.

Another presidential candidate, Laura-Jayne Baker, is announcing a motion that would force EUSA to start a national campaign against controversial changes to international student visa changes.

Baker hopes to “lobby fellow Russell Group Universities to stand up against changes and cuts to International Student Visas”, commenting that international students currently make up 25 per cent of the University of Edinburgh students and “offer an insight into perspectives that are global, aiding academic development.”

Current EUSA President Thomas Graham, has introduced a motion to provide better bus services from central to the King’s buildings and Easter Bush campuses.

The General Meeting is to take place on Tuesday 23rd February in McEwan Hall. With a view to encourage as many students to attend as possible, a EUSA drink voucher will be offered to all present and there is £100 prize for the society with the highest turnout. news@studentnewspaper.org

FLICKR: THOMAS GRAHAM

Harrison Kelly

HANDS UP: Students vote at last November's Annual General Meeting

EUSA election nominations open NOMINATIONS FOR EUSA's General Election have opened to a highly competitive start, with all four sabbatical positions already being contested.

Posters and flyers have begun to cover lampposts and display boards as student candidates try to get their messages across and convince students to vote.

Three Presidential candidate have come forward thus far - Laura-Jayne Baker, current Societies Convener and Freshers Week co-ordinator, Liz Rawlings, current Postgraduate Convener and former editor of The Student, and medical student Kristofer Keane “It is vital that students vote,” Laura-Jayne Baker told The Student.

She also said that a high turnout “ensures the candidate elected is the one who can represent the interests of as many students as possible.”

Liz Rawlings echoed this sentiment, saying that: “Students are deeply concerned about the local and world issues that affect their education, and the high turnout of our student association is a clear indicator of this”.

Vice-President Academic Affairs candidate Stevie Wise said that “The people who do stand in the elections are very high-caliber.

It’s good for the students that the

people who stand are so passionate,”.

Wise will be challenged by Ross Stalker for VPAA. Sam Hansford, Gavin Hume and Ellie Price are the candidates for Vice-President Services.

Amy Woodgate, current President of the Ballroom Dancing

Society and former editor of The Student Neil Pooran are the two candidates listed so far for VicePresident Societies and Activities.

EUSA has not had a female president since the 2005-2006 academic year, but so far in the nomination process, two out of three announced presidential candidates

are women.

Never have all four positions been held by women at the same time.

“It’s great that so many women are standing for positions,” Baker said.

29 students have come forward to stand for election thus far, with

ELECTIONEERING BEGINS: Candidates have already begun advertising their campaigns around the university.

seven positions being contested.

There are a total 126 seats available.

Elections open on 3rd March.

A debate for the four sabbatical positions will be held on 26th February. news@studentnewspaper.org

SHAN BERTELLI

Nathaniel Murray

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

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news@studentnewspaper.org

News

Teacher training places cut by 40 per cent THE SNP have announced a 40 per cent cut in teacher training places, in an effort to cut teacher unemployment.

The move, which was announced last week, has drawn criticism from the already heavily burdened education sector, including from staff and students at Moray House, the University of Edinburgh’s teacher training school.

The announcement was made by the Scottish Funding Council and authorized by the Scottish Government.

Moray House is one of four teaching training schools in Scotland; the others are part of Glasgow, Strathclyde and Stirling universities.

Students and staff from Moray House, along with representatives of University and College Union (UCU) Scotland recently marched on Parliament to protest cuts to university places and jobs.

Official statistics show that since the SNP took power, the number of working teachers in Scotland has dropped by 2,000. Universities have said that cuts may result in up to 100 university lecturers losing their jobs.

Only one in seven teacher trainees found a permanent post last year.

1,550 training places will be cut, the vast majority at the primary level, lowering numbers from 3,857 in 2009-2010 to 2,307 in 2010-2011.

Education Secretary Mike Russell, who met with UCU Scotland representatives, including Terry Wrigley, University of Edinburgh Moray House lecturer, at the Moray House march on Parliament, said the cuts had been in the works since September.

“The Scottish Government took the decision to reduce student teacher intakes to deal with teacher unemployment. By reducing student numbers, we can create more jobs for those teachers already qualified,” he said The cuts, though expected, were much deeper than most anticipated.

Lesley McIntosh, president of UCU Scotland, told The Scotsman “We have seen massive increases in the teacher education budgets, then cutbacks, on a cyclical basis, which just leads to a ridiculous hire-and-fire regime.”

“I am astonished we have not learned from previous failings.”

NUS Scotland president Liam Burns agreed adding that: “Nobody

wants to see students study for four years on a false hope only to find that at the end of all that hard work there simply aren’t any jobs for them. However, Scotland can’t carry on with this boom-

and-bust method of teacher training.

With cuts to education departments at universities across Scotland, we could lose very talented lecturers, irreparably damaging departments

that have built expertise in training teachers over many years.” news@studentnewspaper.org

JULIA SYMMES COBB

Julia Symmes Cobb

"WE WON'T PAY FOR THE CRISIS, DON'T CUT TEACHERS CUT CLASS SIZES": Staff and students of several Scottish universities marched on Parliament

Graduate pay freeze worries job- Less university funding coincides with increase in seekers Alexandra Taylor STARTING SALARIES for graduates are to be frozen for the first time in recent years, a report has found.

According to a survey published by the Association of Graduate Recruiters (AGR) graduates starting jobs this September are likely to earn an average of £25,000 a year.

This will be the second year running that salary has remained at this level.

The document forms part of the UK’s bi-annual graduate survey and provides the most extensive and detailed insight into the state of the graduate jobs market.

The findings are based on the responses of 245 of the country’s graduate recruiters across 12 main sectors that collectively employ over 21,000 graduates.

The AGR poll of recruiters found that graduates of 2009-2010 would likely experience a “double hit” of lower wages and higher fees for studying.

Vacancies have also fallen by nearly 6 per cent overall, which is the biggest drop in six years.

This is the first time ever that three sectors are predicting salary cuts.

Banking has been hit hardest, with a median salary decrease of 8.9 per cent this year, while the financial service sector cut vacancies by 28 per cent last year alone.

However, there has been a rise in the number of positions available in engineering and the public services. Moreover, as reported in The Student earlier this year, vacancies within the UK’s top 100 graduate recruiters have gone up by 10 per cent.

Retail is also predicted to make a comeback.

The study also revealed that law firms have still managed to maintain the top salary spot with £37,000, while investment banks follow close behind, but had remained static, at £35,000.

Carl Gilleard, Chief Executive of the AGR said: “Though we are set to see a drop in vacancies this year, the situation is certainly not as severe as it could be. There are even some silver linings with growth predicted in the engineering and public sectors — both of which are likely to appeal to graduates seeking job security this year.”

“

Although there has definitely been a reduction in the amount of employment available, I want to stress to graduates that companies are still recruiting..."

Steve Norman

He added: “What is certain is that the economic crisis is concentrating employers’ minds on the war for the best and most well-informed talent.”

The AGR have also said that these figures do compare favourably with overall employment expectations.

One-fifth of employers also expected to raise salaries by more than 4 per cent.

Steve Norman Assistant Direc-

tor at the Careers Service told The Student: “It’s come as no surprise that salaries have been frozen as we are still just coming out of a very bad recession and the impact has been that companies have had to reduce cost.”

He added: “Although there has definitely been a reduction in the amount of employment available, I want to stress to graduates that companies are still recruiting and I would advise anyone concerned about their prospects of finding a job in 2010 to come in and talk to the Careers Service.

“Even if you are unable to land your desired career in this current climate, we can help ensure that you do not have to rule it out altogether - I am sure things will be much better in three years time.”

To combat the freeze employers are advising graduates to conduct rigorous research into potential employers, apply early and be prepared to relocate.

One third have also recommended that jobseekers widen their criteria.

This news has furthered concerns that graduates are becoming more indebt and worse off by pursuing a university degree.

However, despite this claim, there has been an upsurge in applications for postgraduate courses in recent months, though only 30 per cent of employers feel that further study really provides students with a greater edge in the job hunt. news@studentnewspaper.org

applications Katie Cunningham

CONCERNS HAVE been raised that a combination of lower funding and an increase in applications for the fourth year running could result in higher entry requirements for universities next year.

Figures have shown that in January of this year, applications to Scottish universities were up by 31 per cent on last year with an unprecedented 38,763.

Whilst most applications remain from school leavers, the number of mature applicants has gone up by 108 per cent due to bleak prospects on the job market.

It is thought that the increase in mature applicants comes from a combination of those who have been made redundant in wake of the recession, and graduates who have faced trouble finding employment.

It is feared that the influx of older applicants may make it more difficult for those who are coming straight from school, being likely to have more work experience and past degrees.

The director of admissions at Aberystwyth University, Dr Hywel Davies, told the BBC that he predicts the number of clearing places may be reduced by 50 per cent this year. This would severely reduce the chances of those who did not achieve their ideal grades entering university.

The University of Edinburgh was ranked as the 14th highest achieving university by The Times Good University guide this year, and had an entrance tariff of 447, with the highest being Cambridge at 539. This is an increase from last

year’s tariff rating of 417, showing that standards have already risen.

Applications to Edinburgh have only increased marginally since 2009, by 0.6 per cent, however competition still remains fierce in light of the slashing of 1,300 places this academic year in attempt to increase student satisfaction through higher funding per place.

The move has increased the number of applicants competing for each place at the University from 10.4 to 15.3.

Director of Universities Scotland Alastair Sim warned that a high proportion of applicants would inevitably lose out on places, saying that: “Universities will face difficult choices.

No-one wants to turn away suitably qualified candidates, but universities simply do not have the capacity to absorb large numbers of additional unfunded students.”

President of the National Union of Students Liam Burns, however, called for the urgent prioritization of further funding: “Unless action is taken urgently many thousands of talented people face being denied a university place just when we need them the most. We have already seen the college and university sector struggle to cope with increases in demand last year and we cannot allow the same to happen again.”

Education Secretary Michael Russell said that the Scottish Government would monitor demand for places over the coming months. news@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

news@studentnewspaper.org

News 5

History Society take top award Jordan Campbell

Having beaten ‘Best Buddies’, a society that works with individuals with special needs, Music Society President Benjamin Miller repeatedly exclaimed that he was ‘so surprised.’

People and Planet were awarded best event for their green week initiative, with model United Nations taking the runner up.

The Bedlam theatre company beat Nightline in the best publicity category in recognition of their website that allows individuals to buy tickets

in advance for performances.

They capped off a successful evening with the ‘improverts’ giving a well -received performance.

In accepting the prize the company also did not miss an opportunity to electioneer on behalf of Bedlam performer Sam Hansford, candidate for Vice-President of Services in the up and coming EUSA elections.

The unsung heroes award went to the Ballroom Dancing Society, with Wine Society securing runner up. Receiving the award, Ballroom

TTONY SIM

THE HISTORY Society was awarded best society of the year at EUSA’S annual Society Oscars on Thursday evening.

They beat off the challenge of the Economics Society, which finished runner up, along with the Feminist Society, Fresh Air, Stop Aids and Wind Band.

Awarding the prize, Vice- President of Societies and Activities Camilla Pierry said that they had

won the prize due their ‘impressive socials including its annual ball, and for being one of the few societies that produced an academic publication – Retrospect.’

Seven awards were handed out over the course of the evening including prizes for seven individuals who have made an outstanding contribution to their society.

The Music Society picked up the first prize of the evening, taking home the best community relations award.

Dancing President Amy Woodgate claimed that ‘everyone should come along to classes’ and promised some ‘personal tuition’ to new members.

The individual awards were presented to Olivia Longson (the Vixens), Tirion Seymour (Amnesty), Mairi Gray (Music society), Charlotte Squires (Patient Outreach Project), Maxim Cramer (Computing) and Magda James (CHV ). Commenting on the individual winners, Pierry said, ‘ The seven individual winners in particular are an inspiration - it's thanks to these committed individuals that our society culture can continue to flourish.

"Each winner has truly gone above and beyond to drive their societies forward and deliver a fantastic experience for their members, and the impact of their work will long outlive their time at university."

The penultimate award of the evening, best new or revamped society, went to the Computing society with Aegis, a society committed to ending genocide and war crimes, claiming runner up.

Commenting on the overall success of the evening Pierry, who presented the awards told The Student: "It was great this year to see a real mix of societies both putting themselves forward and in the final lineup for awards. Competition was extremely strong; depite all the challenges brought by the recession and increasing pressure on resources people just keep pulling new ideas out of the bag." news@studentnewspaper.org

AND THE WINNER IS: The History society beats of the Economics society to take home a cheque for £500.

'Proud to be Postgrad' iniative aims to improve postgraduate university experience Julia Symmes Cobb POSTGRADUATES CELEBRAT ED their place at the University of Edinburgh with a series of social events last week, hoping to raise the profile of postgrad students as a vital part of the university community.

Over 30 per cent of students at the University are postgraduates, but according to EUSA postgraduate convener Liz Rawlings, “postgrads don't have the same representation as undergraduates… and traditionally their issues and concerns have been sidelined as a result.”

‘Proud to be a Postgrad’ aimed to both raise awareness about issues faced by postgraduates, many of whom are non-traditional students, and to provide social and networking opportunities for the postgraduate community. “’Proud to be a Postgrad’ is all about celebrating the diversity of the postgrad student body while also recognising that there are areas of common ground which we can work on to improve the postgrad student experience at Edinburgh,” says Rawlings.

To ensure that postgraduate is-

sues will be met with more aid in future years, a postcard campaign was launched asking postgrads how their experience at Edinburgh could be improved. The postcards will be delivered

“

Proud to be a postgrad week is all about celebrating the diversity of the postgrad student body while also recognising that there areas of common ground which we can work to improve the postgrad experience' Liz Rawlings

to the Principal Timothy O’Shea.

Events throughout the week included a march from George Square to Kings Buildings, a class rep train-

ing day along with a cheese and wine party.

Rawlings says that one of the particular concerns of postgraduates is social life.

“In particular, postgrads have asked for more social events so they can meet people from other courses, more representation and better induction into the University.”

These and several other concerns are in the process of being addressed: “We've addressed these issues through adding big monthly social events such as the Postgraduate Masked Ceilidh in the Student Fringe Festival. We've also set up a Postgraduate Forum which meets every three weeks where postgrads can raise issues and concerns with their course and/or university experience.

I'm designing a PG handbook to be given out to all postgrads when they accept their offer from Edinburgh to address the problems with the induction process. I've also won a postgrad only study space in the Main Library which was a popular request from many students,” said Rawlings. news@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

News

Edinburgh recognized as 'Transition' Uni Lara Zarum THE UNIVERSITY of Edinburgh has been recognised for its carbon-cutting initiatives through the environmental network Transition, a global organisation that aims to combat climate change by emphasising community innovation.

Edinburgh has become the first University to become recognized as a 'Transition community', in recognition of efforts made to make the university a low-carbon institution, most notably its signing up to the 10:10 campaign to reduce carbon emissions by 10 per cent by 2010, and work of student movement Transition Edinburgh to produce a groundbreaking report analysing the University community's carbon footprint.

While there are hundreds of official Transition Towns around the world, the University of Edinburgh is the first official Transition University.

Launched in 2009, the organisation is backed by £340,000 from the Scottish Government’s Climate Challenge Fund.

Transition Network co-founder Ben Brangwyn acknowledged that Transition Edinburgh University is “breaking new ground with the kind of energy and intelligence that should typify a university environment.” news@studentnewspaper.org

Students and staff go green for 10:10 week Melissa Birbeck STUDENTS AT the University of Edinburgh took part in a host of lowcarbon initiatives last week to commemorate ‘10:10 Week’.

Organised by Transition Edinburgh University alongside numerous EUSA societies, Green Week offered a vast number of creative activities designed to inspire student participation in the 10:10 programme, which aims to cut the University’s carbon emissions by ten percent over the course of 2010.

Vice-Principal Mary Bownes told The Student of the importance of such events: “As a university we have invested heavily in energy efficiency projects – and will continue to do so; but we seek to engage our most valuable resource – our staff and students – with this issue too.”

Amongst highlights of the week was Wednesday’s ‘Cabbage Crudité Ambassador’ evening, the main focus of which was to encourage use of locally sourced, sustainable produce, grown and collected with as little environmental impact as possible, along with communal food preparation.

Vegetable bags from Damhead Organics, currently linked with EUSA’s organic box scheme, were delivered by bike trailer to students on Tuesday, who then made dishes in a ‘ReadySteady-Cook’ styled undertaking.

Money was raised for a conglomerate of charities, which included the local Greyfriars Community Project.

Event organiser Rosie Sullivan further emphasised the importance

of 10:10 Week in marking the start of positive changes within the University community as a whole, saying: “It’s about getting together and sharing not just a more sustainable future, but a brighter future”.

Thursday’s ‘D.I.Y’ Fair, held in the Teviot Lounge, provided a wide variety of opportunities for students to discover more about the University’s present waste-management policies and to absorb the spirit of environmental awareness.

Speaking to The Student, TEU member, Ben Miller expressed his hopes that such events would, “give people some ideas and inspiration on how they can easily achieve ten percent, have some fun and save cash!"

A variety of workshops demonstrated novel ways of reducing students’ carbon impact. Visitors were encouraged to fix garments and make their own jewellery, as well being able to help themselves to clothes, books and much more at the free ‘swap-shop’.

Other stalls enabled them to learn about energy-saving in the home and the existing recycling schemes at the University.

Commenting on the day’s events, D.I.Y Fair coordinator, Sion Lanini said "The Fair showcased the can-do, proactive approach that will help us to transition to a lower-carbon, less energy-intensive lifestyle.”

Other initiatives included a ‘Back to the Future’ workshop, in which students were invited to share their visions for the University campus of 2050; ‘Hopenhagen or Brokenhagen?’-

a talk sharing the opinions of those who attended the Copenhagen climate summit of December last year; and a Valentine’s-themed ‘Carbon SpeedDating’ night.

Joe Farthing from TEU spoke to The Student of the positive public response to Green Week and attributed its success to the cooperation of various groups, saying that "We were really

pleased with the students' interest in the 10:10 week activities. It was great to see the University of Edinburgh's Energy Office, the Energy Saving Trust and EUSA working together like this to share their knowledge with everyone." news@studentnewspaper.org

10:10: EUSA and Transition Edinburgh

WATCH THE OLYMPICS LIVE OVER ALL SCREENS IN TEVIOT

      The 2010 Winter Olympics take place in the breathtaking setting of Vancouver, Canada, with Team GB looking to emulate their summer counterparts by achieving one of their highest ever medal hauls.

For the duration of the Games watch live and recorded coverage on our big screens.

12-28 FEBRUARY 2010 eusa.ed.ac.uk

Edinburgh Univerity Students’ Asociation is a Registered Scottish Charity (No.SCO15800)

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          

TRANSITION EDINBURGH

6

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Tuesday February 16 2010 �������� Feeling ������������� opinionated? studentnewspaper.org��

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8 Comment

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It's not all Greek

Speculating that Britain will meet the same fate as Greece is misguided and irresponsible, argues Dan Nicholson-Heap Ever since the dawn of the Greek debt crisis, the press has been flush with speculation that Britain is fast heading for the sinkhole that Greece, Spain and Portugal look to be heading down. However, such claims rest on a superficial and misleading comparison of the two countries. For a start, both countries’ public sector debts are high, but still worlds apart. Greece has a debt of 120 per cent of GDP, with the UK’s being about half that.

The maturity of debt that a country holds is also important to consider in assessing its position. Average UK debt maturity is high (about 14 years) compared to most other developed countries, double that of France and Germany, and many more years longer than Greece. The Greeks will have

“We have unique national interests and have to maintain the capability to act unilaterally if required.” This was Shadow Defence Secretary Liam Fox’s rebuttal to the proposed government plans to increasingly work alongside and co-operate with its traditional allies in future military campaigns. This is due, in large part, to the recent economic crisis and the fact that the number of British dead is showing no signs of slowing down. Combining forces with the likes of France would share the burden of military expenditure, as Britain is currently the fourth-largest spender as of 2009, as well as hopefully reducing the number of future British casualties as French casualties are a lot more acceptable to the British public when justifying war.

However, the Conservatives do not like the idea of being dependent on combining forces with Britain’s allies. Fox declares, “We are at a tipping point in Britain. We need to decide if we want to stay in the first division or slide into the second division. I choose the former.” Such ‘sporting’ allusions to ‘first and second divisions’ are not only dangerous, but also show the inherent problems of the politicians’ inability to take their heads out of the history books. Britain is no longer the military and economic powerhouse that it once was, complete with an empire ‘upon which the sun never set’.

We can no longer maintain the tradition of this rather inglorious period of our history.

Britain simply cannot afford to continually wage wars like those taking place in Afghanistan and Iraq. £1.5 billion has been pledged for the war in Afghanistan, with the promise that defence will be safe from spending cuts next year. The government has also pledged itself to the Joint Strike Fighter, costing £10 billion; completing the Typhoon programme, costing £20 billion; going ahead with the completion of two aircraft carriers, named the Queen Elizabeth and the Prince of Wales, costing £5 billion; and the more controversial £20 billion update of Trident. Such excessive spending

to deal with about 10 percent of their debt in their next few months - a huge amount in such a short space of time.

Britain has far longer to service a smaller amount of debt. This means that it is much more expensive for Greece to deal with its debts. Britain’s debt servicing will cost around 3 per cent of GDP; Greece, about 12 per cent. As long as the debt is affordable, it can continue to grow for a while and not do us much harm. So, while Britain is indeed heavily indebted, it is actually in a much less pressurised position in terms of paying it back than Greece, France and even prudent Mrs Merkel’s Germany.

Another difference is that as part of the Eurozone, Greece shares a currency with 15 other countries and so cannot therefore devalue its currency which

could then help in boosting a country out of recession via exports. However, the UK is in a much better position in this regard, given that its currency has lost about a quarter of its value in recent years.

“

Conjuring the spectre of Greece makes for good headlines but is fundamentally misleading" Credibility and confidence matter.

While they may not have been what

they once were, financial markets in Britain have more reason to be confident than those in Greece. The Greeks have long struggled with an uncompetitive and unproductive economy and like other small countries, have suffered more from falling business and tax revenues. UK competitiveness is improving fast partly because of the flexibility of its labour markets, which means that companies can more quickly and easily change in response to the great shifts in the economy that we have experienced over the past two years.

In the past, we have been willing to grit our teeth and think of England while enduring spending cuts. The Greeks have not yet proved this and if the mass protests and strikes against planned cuts are anything to go by, they aren’t likely to

do so any time soon. Crucially, financial markets know this and will take it into account in their assessments of both countries.

Looking beyond the superficial, it is plain for all to see that Britain and Greece are in very different positions and it would take something huge for Britain to fall into the same trap that Greece is in now. This is why I’m sick to the back teeth of scaremongering journalists and point-scoring opposition politicians talking down Britain for their own purposes. Conjuring the spectre of Greece makes for good headlines and might grab some votes for a desperate opposition with a rapidly shrinking poll lead but fundamentally, it only misleads and does not do anything to help the recovery.

solution; Britain has already got itself involved in two major campaigns, and with Obama dispatching Patriot missiles to four Gulf States in a direct challenge to Iran, another potential conflict may be on the cards.

I believe that more money should be diverted away from direct military weapons and towards aid and diplomacy. The less military action that Britain has to undertake, the less of a financial burden it will pose, in both the production of arms and the payment of money to those who are wounded. It will also save more lives.

Marching Orders Increasing defence spending is the last thing we should be doing, argues Alexander Lawrie

“

If only this term 'defence' was a realistic one, rather than acting as a socially acceptable adjunct for war."

seems out of place for a country that is suffering from an economic crisis and will over the next three years have to cut a total of £950 million from higher education. The choice appears to be between books or bombs.

“Tough decisions will be made and there will be winners and losers at the end of the process, but Britain will be safe and our interests secure,” Mr Fox tries to justify Britain’s wars as necessary to protect ourselves. This is in keeping with the current Labour Government’s defence propaganda.

The government has continually tried to spoon-feed us the notion that we

are fighting in Afghanistan to keep terrorism away from our shores, but the opposite is happening. Britain’s involvement has been seen as a continuation of our old imperial agenda and subsequently has galvanised more people to take the fight to our streets.

Also, what are these interests? Is it referring to the defence of areas of the world in which, despite no sovereign authority, we have a vested interest in?

If only this term ‘defence’ was a realistic one, rather than acting as a sociably acceptable adjunct for war.

Aircraft carriers are an offensive

weapon primarily used for long distance bombing, whilst nuclear weapons are designed to wipe out all living life within a set radius. Neither of these are defensive and only serve to make the world that little bit more dangerous for the standard person.

Let us also not forget those who lose their lives or are injured during these wars. Admiral Lord Boyce, the former chief of the Defence staff, said a young soldier who was seriously injured would now get about £1.5 million in financial support over a lifetime. This is the often neglected and long lasting consequence of war. That is not to say that it is an easy

Rather than being a domineering figure in the military sphere, Britain should perhaps look elsewhere for its glory. Building up education, health and John ���������������������������������� Lasseter. ������������������� its already strong international aid reputation would all be invaluable qualities to have.

If Britain were to excel in these areas it would give the old imperialists something to be proud of: Britain the world’s leading centre for education, rather than haemorrhaging money by pretending to have a world role that we haven't had for years. With rising class sizes, increasing teaching staff unemployment and cuts being made to other public sectors all over the country, our politicians need to have a good look at where our spending priorities really should lie.

Britain is no longer the superpower of the past, and it doesn’t need to be today. Instead of allowing billions of pounds to be spent on weapons of mass destruction, we should be looking to support the people inside this country during one of the most severe economic crises they have faced.

Tell us what you think! comment@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

Comment 9

A Sporting Shame THE FOOTBALL Association last week decided to ‘postpone’ the launch of its new video advert designed to challenge anti-gay attitudes in sport.

Featuring an aggressively homophobic man dishing out abuse to commuters, street vendors and office workers, before finishing with him screaming offensive chants from the stands, the message of the campaign is that you wouldn’t accept such behaviour in everyday life, so why should you accept it on a match day?

The video places the blame for football’s entrenched intolerance of homosexuality at the feet of a ridiculous caricature, a gesture that diverts attention away from the troubling truths that lay at the heart of the issue. The Neanderthals from whom such verbal bile spews probably are partial to a bigoted comment at work or on the tube, but this minority of morons is not the root of the problem.

The real problem is institutional.

Football, like all contact sports, involves a fair bit of man on man action.

If you play at any serious level, you must relish getting down and dirty in the mud with other blokes, embracing your masculine team mates in triumph and enjoying their company, whether clothed in the bar or naked in the shower. It is no surprise then that such an environment carries with it an innate cultural homophobia.

‘Poof ’, ‘arse bandit’, ‘faggot’: these are the ultimate insults to a footballer.

Not only because they consider the implications to be thoroughly offensive, but because gay rumours can be disastrous to their careers. Ashley Cole won damages from a tabloid newspaper for suggesting that he had taken part in some rather gay goings

Image: Lena Abbas

Davie Heaton exposes the roots of homophobia in football

on with another premiership footballer after a party, and Graham Le Saux was constantly taunted by fans and fellow professionals alike after, when he first emerged as a young, single, Guardian reader, his team mates put 2 + 2 together and got 219.

What is accepted in the stands mirrors what is accepted on the pitch. Racism has largely been eradicated from football in this

country thanks to a strong ‘Kick It Out’ campaign, driven by the players and backed by the authorities.

Those same authorities, namely the FA, need to treat homophobic behaviour in the same way. Had Paul Scholes called the referee a ‘nigger’, rather than a ‘poof ’, as he did against Benfica in 2006, or had Robbie Fowler done his best monkey impression in the direction of a black player, rather

than inviting Le Saux to roger him by the touchline as he did during a game in 1999, then the consequences would no doubt have been much greater.

Racism was run out of town by black players who, with the confidence that came with their increasing numbers, decided to speak out against the abusers who taunted them every week. Their white team mates stood with them, out of respect for their unquestionable contribution to the British game and because they were their friends and fellow professionals.

A similar approach involving high profile players is the only way to stamp out homophobia, and would have been the FA’s most obvious option. Sadly, their decision to take an alternative route shows that they fear that the big characters they need will not play ball.

In such a large profession as football, it is impossible that there are none with homosexual inclinations. The life of the only British footballer to have come out so far, Justin Fashanu, ended in suicide after merciless bullying and abuse, which is hardly an encouraging example for players contemplating declaring their homosexuality.

Their struggle will remain a private one because they are in an impossible situation. Homophobia will only be marginalised when openly gay male sportsmen are commonplace. Presently gay men in sport, especially footballers, fear the vitriol that they will invoke by coming out. It is up to the FA to organise a campaign of high profile names to speak out against homophobia, and it is up to the players to be confident enough to risk the puerile ridicule of the minority for the benefit of their anonymous gay colleagues.

Students, cast off your chains Katherine McMahon argues that students should demand their rights

IT REALLY sucks to have a job as a student. It takes away time from studying – and if you have to support yourself completely, that can make it almost impossible to study at all, especially because it's difficult to find a job that pays well, and that treats you well.

Because we mostly get casual jobs, and because they're often temporary, employers can often take liberties that they wouldn't with other workers.

There's also a bit of a double bind in being a student worker: because the main thing that we're doing is studying, our jobs might be of secondary importance, so we might end up just putting up with it; and yet, because we don't really get enough to live on through our grants and loans, many of us have to have jobs to be able to study.

All of which makes for a set of easily exploitable workers. And regardless of how nice your boss is, almost anyone that employs students is out to make a profit – while there are degrees of unscrupulousness, the profit is likely to be deemed more important than a casual worker. But there is no excuse for denying you your rights.

A fairly typical example: my friend comes home from work and says, ‘oh god, I'm wrecked, I've worked for 8

hours without a break!’ She is too tired to do any studying at all that evening. The cafe had been really busy all day, and the boss had told the workers that they could have a break when they calmed down, and that it wouldn't be fair for one of them to have a break while the others worked. It didn't calm down, and so no-one got a break at all.

“

The more students make it clear it clear we won't take exploitation lying down, the less comfortable bosses will be about doing it."

Fact: it is illegal to make anyone work for 6 hours or more without a break of at least 20 minutes. The tactic of making workers feel bad for taking up their legal rights is a fairly common one. It's not acceptable – the customers would have been served less quickly had there been one less person, but that's really not the end of the world.

There are a whole variety of prob-

lems that students might face which are covered by employment law: I worked in a cafe in which the plates were kept on top of the grill – you can tell who has worked there by the matching burn scars on our forearms.

Your boss has a legal responsibility to make sure that you're safe at work. Another big problem is people being paid less than minimum wage. (Minimum wage is £5.80 per hour if you're aged 22 or over, and £4.83 if you're 18-21.)

It cannot be made up through tips – which count as gifts to you, and do not belong to your boss – and there are strict rules on what can be deducted from your wages (for breakages and the like). You have legal rights not to be discriminated against for all the usual things – and this also includes discrimination based on working part-time.

Often, simply telling your boss that you know you have a right to something is enough. Talking to other workers and speaking to the boss together makes you more powerful and also might make you feel more confident.

Obviously, the logical step from there is to join a trade union – which can help you with legal problems, but also can be a way to organise in the workplace.

In New Zealand, in 2005/6, students

and workers in high street fast-food and coffee chains organised around the everyday issues that the workers faced – for instance, fighting against the removal of the right to complementary tickets for workers in a cinema chain.

The campaign led to the first strikes by Starbucks workers, and all sorts of gains were made – including the abolition of the youth rates of the minimum wage.

You might be in your job for the whole of your university career or just a few months. However long you think you might be there, it's worth making sure that you know and assert your rights: there's a lot that you can gain in the short term, and the more students make it clear that we won't take exploitation lying down, the less comfortable bosses will be about doing it. So even if you're not there very long, you will make things easier for the next person, and the next, and ultimately students all over the city.

EUSA have produced a booklet on your rights at work and how you can get them. Look out for them around campus, or pop into the EUSA office in Potterrow to pick one up.

Katherine McMahon is EUSA Extermal Convenor

The Mothball Prophecies AND SO it came to pass that a plague of moths was visited upon the House of Commons. However, this was not a divine act of punishment for the numerous indiscretions committed within the now sullied halls of power, but allegedly due to a second-hand carpet belonging to shadow cabinet member Michael Gove. Labour MP Graham Allen has spoken of Mr Gove as ‘the key suspect’.

The moths, having settled in the air vents, are now immune to fumigation and are feasting on the clothing of the MPs and their staff. Mr Gove, it seems, has now fled the scene of the crime and another unfortunate now inhabits the office; according to Mr Allen, ‘Michael has moved office, but the moths haven’t left’.

GOVE: carpetbagger.

While clearly an act of man rather than God, one cannot help but wonder if some of the more spiritually-inclined MPs see the invincible moths as some sort of karmic revenge, for the moth plague apparently began not long before the expenses scandal first broke. And the moths linger still, like the disillusion many now feel towards politics generally.

Another odd story is that of the British National Party being forced to vote on allowing non-whites into their organisation, due to a court ruling. While it’s always fun to see the far right squirm, this is certainly an epic waste of time and money. I personally find it hard to believe that there are any non-whites out there desperate to join the BNP. Talking of the BNP, a prominent councillor of theirs, Richard Barnbrook, recently gave a revealing interview to The Times. The monumentally arrogant Mr Barnbrook continually referred to himself as ‘charismatic’ and spoke in detail of his trademark beige suit. One can imagine that his suit makes him feel like some sort of British Empire-era colonial overlord, striding down ‘his’ streets while non-whites give him wide berth. Though in this case not out of deference, but rather because he is nothing more than a prejudiced thug. Let us hope that his social attitudes go the same way as the Empire he so venerates.

Kyle Bellamy

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

Something to say? editors@studentnewspaper.org

10 We've Got Mail

Alexander Lawrie [“Banal Nationalism”, 9 February] seems to mix some truths about Scottish identity with a lot of antagonism to the SNP. Might this be due to brainwashing

by British Establishment attitudes ? Scotland as a nation has very diverse historical and ethnic origins but many who live here feel themselves to be Scottish and wish to be part of a nation which both uses our skills and resources for the benefit of people here and plays a constructive role in world affairs. That includes a duty to get rid of nuclear weapons from Scottish territory and to stop Scots being used as soldiers in imperial adventures. Personally I much prefer the largely accurate depiction of William Wallace in “Braveheart” to the mainly fictional hatchet job of the play “MacBeth”.

FIRST OF all, Happy Chinese New Year to all of you who celebrate. Here at The Student office, we’re welcoming the year of the tiger with mountains of Chinese take-away, and if we’re lucky, luxurious jasmine tea. Its been a busy week in student journalism land as the first environmentally hazardous election posters are beginning to fly around campus resplendent in all of their gaudy beauty.

And alas, for the location of our Tuesday social has been in turmoil as of late. Since our trusted old friend Native State is closed for what we believe to be a refurbishment, we have relocated to a nice little table downstairs in Aspen.

Plenty of drink promos and a dark corner will suit us just fine. Afterwards we will be heading to Medina’s ‘Wax and Relax’ to chill out and watch former editor Charlie King brave the waxing strips in the name of fundraising for a good cause.

David Stevenson I hate your editorial page. I don't understand why there are so many colours and pictures. And what does the cartoon have to do with anything? You shouldn't be concentrating so much on a misguided attempt at humour.

An editorial is a section where you should be expressing your views on the current climate within the university. NOT an opportunity for you to poke fun at the lonely hearts classfied ads. Some people like single, you know.

Also, on your comment page - 'Newsjack'? Try 'Jackshit'.

Catriona Curry

WHY IS HE SO HAPPY?: He's got Crab(s)

A quick history lesson...

The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887, as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest university newspaper and is an independent publication, distributing 6,000 copies free to the University of Edinburgh.

Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the 1970s, Gordon Brown was the editor in chief, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of film and concert reviews.

Disclaimer

Three pounds is an appropriate fee for socially accepted sadism.

Interesting as our campus news is, we thought we’d take the opportunity this week to shun our blinkers and have a nosey at what else is happening in the world. Here are a few of our favorite snippets.

Sadly, this week we saw the passing of Walter Frederick Morrison aged 90 at his home in Utah. Many people won’t be familiar with his name, by children, dogs, and ultimate Frisbee players across the globe. That’s right, Walter Frederick Morrison was the inventor of the Frisbee.

He allegedly got the idea in the 1950s after throwing his wife’s metal cake pan around on a Californian beach.

In Russia, a 73-year-old has been convicted of planting homemade landmines around his farm to prevent trespassers from stealing his potatoes.

Alexander Skopintsev was only arrested after an intruder set off a trip wire on his land in August.

Thousands of 50-peso coins (worth about 6p) issued in 2008 have been causing a lot of trouble to the general manager of the Chilean mint. The coins were all printed with a typo spelling ‘CHIIE’ instead of ‘CHILE’. The general Manager was dismissed as this was just one in a long line of embarrassing mistakes from the mint. In November last year, a rare medal bearing the face of the country’s then president (Michelle Bachelet) was sold on the open market and a month earlier, someone sold a rare medal to a coin collector though it was intended for the institution’s museum.

Malicious software, Fembot, has been targeting lonely internet users in order to steal personal information that could be used for identity fraud. First appearing in 2007, Fembot is programmed to realistically imitate a flirtatious woman looking to chat. Although she’s been

The Student is always looking for budding reporters, reviewers, illustrators, photographers and designers to join our team.

No experience necessary! If you're

The Student welcomes letters for publication. The editors, however, reserve the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. The letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith The Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole.

Editors Shan Bertelli/Kim Mclaughlan News Anna MacSwan/Jordan Campbell/Harrison Kelly Senior News Writers Josh King/Julia Symmes Cobb Comment Dan Nicholson-Heap/Kyle Bellamy Features Sara D'Arcy/Catherine McGloin/Juliet Evans Lifestyle Nell Frabotta/Wanja Ochwada Art&Theatre Hannah Ramsey/Lisa Parr/Luke Healey Music Andrew Chadwick/ Catherine Sylvain Film Helen Harjak/Laura Peebles TV Paddy Douglas Tech Richard Lane/ Jonny Mowat Sport Martin Domin/Alastair Shand Secretary Lara Zarum

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"The good news is that the T-shirts have finally arrived..."

Cartoonist: Sam Kirk lying low for a while, Fembot has come back in time for Valentine’s Day sporting a new, more sophisticated look. The original software was developed by a Russian company called CyberLover.ru Trust the Russians to come up with the first cyber femme fatale.

Last week, a great white shark started to nibble on a 14-year-old girl in New Zealand who not only managed to get away with minor injuries, but also fought off the beat with her body-board.

But if we thought we were safe from the mysterious creatures of the ocean,

we thought wrong. Birmingham’s National Sea Life Centre is putting a giant Japanese spider crab on show this week.

‘Crabzilla’s’ front feeding limb measure more than 5ft long and end in large claws. And if that wasn’t bad enough, some researchers working in the Gulf of Mexico captured footage of a giant sea serpent. The team initially thought that the fish was a drilling pipe until they saw the dorsal fin. The Oarfish (reaching up to 17m in length) has never been caught live on tape and are believed to provide the basis for many sea serpent myths.

studentnewspaper.org Tuesday January 26 2010

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Tuesday February 16 2010 features@studentnewspaper.org

12 Features

The future is Green

Jen Bowden gives us the low-down on Edinburgh's ambitious recycling plans. lobal warming, recycling and G energy production have been debated so frequently over the last de-

cade that it is now difficult to escape the problem of emission reduction and energy renewal. Recently, Edinburgh and Midlothian councils have jumped on the bandwagon in a bid to increase Edinburgh’s recyclable waste by 2025.

The Zero Waste project currently aims to increase the current figure of 30-40 percent of recyclable household waste to 75 percent by 2025 by installing a residual waste facility in the Millerhill area of Edinburgh. The project also seeks to reduce existing landfill sites to just 5 percent of their current size with the same target of 2025. The programme is an attempt to help Edinburgh meet new Scottish Government recycling targets of 70 percent by 2025 and to conform to EU regulations regarding landfill.

Gordon Pollock, project manager for Zero Waste Edinburgh and Midlothian said: "Zero Waste taken literally is an aspirational concept, but by using different technologies to recover value we can go a long way towards that target."

Zero Waste was conceived from a previous project set up by five councils in an attempt to reduce waste.

The decision to split into individual councils was made in the hope that targets would be more easily met. Edinburgh and Midlothian councils decided to remain a partnership in an attempt to make a bigger impact on waste disposal in the city and surrounding areas.

Currently the plan is still in the early stages of development. However, the two councils are keen to involve the community in their plans and have consulted environmentalists to not only help them to decide which technology to use, but also to offer opinions on the environmental effect that the planned facility would have on the surrounding area.

“

The Zero Waste project currently aims to increase the current figure of 30-40% of recyclable household waste to 75% by 2025."

The location of the residual waste facility is proposed for the Millerhill area of Edinburgh, and the building would take place on an area currently consisting of disused coal mines and marshlands. Having consulted technical and environmental advisors, the bonuses of the scheme to the surrounding area seem

plentiful, though the list of advantages stems from the councils themselves who are keen to persuade the public to give them the go-ahead. Those highlighted include employment opportunities, site redevelopment and increased use of recyclable materials for heat and energy purposes.

Zero Waste point out that the site they have chosen is currently wasteland and has been left undeveloped due to the unused coal mines in the

sort and separate rubbish, finding the recyclable materials before composting the rest. Anaerobic digestion is a "fullycontained and carefully controlled composting process" which reduces food, garden and mixed waste to produce a gas suitable for use in vehicle fuel. As for incinerators, Zero Waste states that "old-style incinerators are no longer an

Local resident Susan Hunter was very much against the development, commenting "the site will increase traffic, noise and air pollution which is why I’m very set against it. I won’t change my mind, and I think that the site could have been put further away where there are less residential neighbourhoods."

Yet others of the same opinion are facing opposition from Portobello residents who were also present. At the public

One Danderhall resident said, "I only received a letter a couple of days ago about this meeting which isn’t much warning. The council need to keep us informed of what will happen in our area."

While Danderhall residents have made their views very clear, Zero Waste insists that they hold public opinion in high regard. The councils have been vocal regarding their desire for feedback and have forms available online and at the meetings. Pollock commented that "we want people to feel like they’ve played a part. Most are more respecting of your plans if you are open and communicate clearly about what you want to do, and by asking what they think about it." Pollock also noted that "this is an area of waste management that hasn’t been dealt with in public as much as recycling and therefore a lot of people won’t know a lot about it, making it difficult to express an opinion on what you would like to see happen. It’s all about increasing public understanding about how waste can be treated as a resource, not just rubbish."

As far as students are concerned, recycling in Edinburgh is a popular way to do their bit for the environment. Though recycling facilities continue to increase throughout the city, comments are made about the councils’ inability to cope with enthusiastic recyclers.

Amy Cowan, final year student at the University of Edinburgh, said: "It’s impossible to recycle at the moment because the

“

It's impossible to recycle at the moment... the bins are chocca..."

area.

The site has potential in the future for a housing development once the site is up and running, which would apparently be entirely dependent upon energy created by the recycled materials at the facility.

At the public meeting in Danderhall there were also suggestions of an educational park being constructed in the future to teach new generations about the power of recycling and waste disposal. There is also the likelihood of rail line access, which would reduce the expected increase of traffic flow and mean that construction vehicles and materials would take a non-residential route.

In terms of the science behind it all, the Millerhill site could possibly house three types of waste treatments.

Mechanical Biological Treatment (MBT) uses a variety of treatments to

option"; instead rubbish incineration is more controlled and new plants have to meet high environmental standards. The recurring theme here appears to be energy production, as most treatments result in waste which would be used as sources for energy.

Factually, Edinburgh and Midlothian councils have a strong argument. However, all plans are indicative and it appears that winning public support will be harder than it seems. In a bid to win local support, public meetings are being held so Edinburgh residents have the chance to see what is being proposed before the councils apply for planning permission.

The meeting in Danderhall had an atmosphere of uncertainty and staunch objection to the proposed site location.

meeting Portobello residents voiced their support of the residual waste facility being located in Millerhill rather than in Portobello. The rejected site - suggested for Portobello - was in a more built up area and would have affected more people, locals said. One Portobello resident present at the Danderhall meeting said: "Personally I feel that this is a better site as it’s less residential. The plans are for future developments, there will possibly be more houses built on the site which means that people can choose whether they live there rather than having to deal with the imposition of a new build."

However, as expected other residents at the Danderhall objected to the proposed build, many stating that the lack of information they had been given left them wary of the plans.

bins are constantly chocca; they need to be emptied more frequently."

Some students are also keen to embrace the project: one languages student first heard about the project from a door-to-door survey about the planned development. She said, "I was really surprised that the council had commissioned such a detailed, door-to-door survey like this, covering recycling habits and environmental awareness. I thought it showed a real effort to raise the profile of environmental concerns. I’m all for sustainability as long as the planned site is carefully managed. It seems to be quite an ambitious project."

Ambitious is definitely the word, with the cost currently being estimated as roughly half a billion pounds. The project will apparently be paid for by a combination of public and private finance and by employing a contractor to finance and build the site.

In 2010 it is likely that all Local Authorities will have plans, if not facilities, like this one. Dumfries and Galloway already have theirs in place and Edinburgh and Midlothian are keen to follow in their footsteps. However, given the strength of local opinion it appears that Edinburgh residents are still too uninformed and wary to accept such a seemingly ambitious plan.

studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday February 16 2010 features@studentnewspaper.org

Features 13

One rumour too far?

Rebecca Monks delves into 'The Life of Brian', Kate Winslet's exercise regime and the contentious ethical issues of Media Law

FOR LOVERS of Monty Python everywhere, “What have the Romans ever done for us?” is a question with numerous connotations.

Aside from ensuring the comedic immortality of ‘The Life of Brian’, the answer reveals the very origins of our modern media empire. The Acta Diurna, carved in stone as per Julius Caesar’s request in 59 BC, is the world’s first example of a public newspaper. It is a mere hazarded guess, but it is my assumption that the front page did not feature Brangelina.

However a noble a cause as the Acta Diurnia was, we need not hark back to Roman times to transcend the historical boundaries of journalistic propriety. Fifty years ago, had you chosen to indulge your friends, Romans and countrymen in a conversation about a Li-Lo, you would have found yourself readily discussing the always essential, air-filled, novelty, holiday item. A debate regarding the equally air filled Li-Lo of our modern world however, is far more likely to digress into a conversation featuring Samantha Ronson, drastic weight loss and the embarrassing yet seemingly inevitable crotch shot that appears on a biweekly basis.

Perhaps it is a testament to our current cultural climate. It is my assumption that there are few among us bold enough to declare that the gossip column is nothing if not a mild social addiction.

Be it Li-Lo, J-Lo or a brand new moral low, our modern culture has

become so obsessed with the publication of gossip that we must abbreviate our main subjects to spread the news faster. I can’t decide; Is it the work of the idle or the eager? Is it the mark of a successful couple to have their names squashed in to a novelty abbreviation, or is it a sign that the nation’s love of gossip is slowly disintegrating the English language to the point of mere jargon?

Perhaps the question we should be asking ourselves is, where does the danger lie in this love of gossip, and where do we draw the line between news and intrusion? Admittedly, it would be difficult to ask Caesar’s opinion, but it is my belief that the foundations of Rome’s public newsletter were not based on publicising the current relationship status of their icons. If Brutus had ridden in his chariot with this baby precariously balanced atop one bulging thigh, allow me to speculate that ‘OMG’ would not have frantically been carved in to a vicious column. It is a new state we have created; such a desperate need for gossip that we have developed our own form of jargon.

The very nature of such practices brings about a question for journalists on both a moral and ethical level. What does the public have reason. In May 2009, for instance, Kate Winslet split the nation’s opinions by claiming £150,000 from The Daily Mail in compensation, after they falsely claimed that she only exercises for twenty minutes a day. In the interests of lazy re-

KATE WINSLET: 'My usual exercise is one marathon per day, at weekends I stick to Pilates'

porting, their irony is inescapable.

That aside, we find that judgement call becomes once again essential in the quality of reporting. What was intended as a light informative article eventually earned more exposure than the piece itself. As a journalist, it is clear that something has gone wrong when the logistics of your article become the news itself. However, in cases such as these, it’s the readers that become the moral compass. Was it right for Winslet to claim such compensation following a seemingly minor error, or could such a lie and implication really interfere with the actress’s career, or indeed quality of life? What power does such an article really hold, and does the media empire have either the responsibility or the right, to decide such a thing?

Our media state has evolved from merely commenting on the lives of celebrity exercise regimes to exposing, and in some cases ruining, the private lives of individuals. Last year, a post-operative transsexual moved from his established city home to a local community under a new identity. His plan was to begin life again under a new name and to forget the personal history he left behind him in London. Upon his arrival, the local newspaper exposed his former identity, revealing the details of his sex change operation and causing the individual to incur a series of hate crimes and personal problems. In cases such as these, what right do journalists have to intrude on the personal lives of individuals when news obligates nobody but themselves?

To digress from the ethical, on a factual basis, the problem with misrepresentation comes from publication concerning libels. In the world of media law, a libel is an artefact which features a per-

manent publication, such as a newspaper and radio broadcast, in which the feature cannot be removed. It is the very nature of a libel that makes us liable. Indeed, retractions can be printed and court cases can be won, but the vast power that the media holds in reporting cannot be erased entirely once the message has been broadcast. Does the responsibility lie with us as readers then, to ignore dangerous reporting and to decide for ourselves what is acceptable, or have we become a nation so used to the intricacies of celebrity lives that we have avoided all sense of propriety and privacy?

“

Perhaps the question we should be asking ourselves is where does the danger lie in this love of gossip, and where do we draw the line between news and intrusion?'

In terms of media law, whether we find ourselves liable due to a libel, or merely enticed by the allure of Jordan’s latest affair, the responsibility lies with both writer and reader. What we class as gossip depends entirely on what we class as news. Perhaps the simple news delivery of the Acta Diurna had it right from the beginning.

As Caesar himself once said; “men in general are quick to believe what they wish to be true”. For the future, let us not be so quick to believe.

CHARITIES SPOT UAEM IT OFTEN appears that University students don’t care much about University politics. In Edinburgh, apathy is characterized by low voter turnouts in student elections and Student Union AGMs that are so under-attended that passing legislation proves almost impossible.

Local issues – ‘20p off on pints at the unions’- fails to stir enough interest. Global issues seems too far removed from what the student populace can realistically achieve.

But now and then we get a chance locally to make a global difference.

Last year, students turned out in their hundreds to unanimously vote through a motion proposed by the student pressure group Universities Allied for Essential Medicines (MedAccess UAEM).

The motion had a simple demand: Medicines developed at our university should be made available to the world’s poorest people at an affordable price. It is now implemented into official university policy, making Edinburgh the first university in Britain to do so.

Big pharmaceutical companies develop many medicines, and a lot of excellent activism work goes into pressurising these companies to make their drugs available to the poor, with some promising results.

But with multinational corporations, it’s pretty hard for students to make their voices heard.

At universities it’s different. As students, we pay tuition fees, which alongside public taxes, fund university research. Universities are charities whose actions should not just be about making big bucks from their discoveries and inventions.

The Hepatitis B vaccine, the set of jabs that every medical student has to have before they’re allowed to graduate, gives immunity to a disease which kills around 600 000 people a year. The vaccine has reduced childhood infection from 15 to one per cent in certain countries. The vaccine was developed by researchers at the University of Edinburgh. It’s a pretty big deal.

Although we've passed one motion, there is still lots of work to do.

There’s a newly created part of the University: the Global Health Academy. Set up to support translation of Global Health knowledge around Edinburgh, and allowing dissemination of it around the world. We work closely with leaders of this new initiative, as well as with supportive professors high up in other parts of the University, trying our best to make university researchers aware of the possibilities that this new motion allows them. The word is spreading. UAEM groups are starting up around the country with hope of passing similar motions in their Universities, while we in Edinburgh are trying support these groups in any way we can.

So as students, we can change the world around us for the better. Not just in the old fashioned sense of being young, idealistic and ready to march, but through being paid up members of some of the most important academic establishments in the world, and having the ability to change them from the inside.

Robert Young

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

Art lover? Review it: culture.thestudent@gmail.com

14 Review

CULTURE COMMISSION #5: David Cass

ANYTHING GOES RUN ENDED CHURCHILL THEATRE



Untitled 'Warm pink floods the moor. Pressure, a small gesture, as orange swallows pink. A tiny ball of sharp red creeps over the horizon. Bright turns blue, turns green, turns purple. Heather heaves in clumps, flows like wax across the burnt black rough. Black becomes

brown becomes mud-green. Sharp red mellows and slips behind gray. Snow falls hot and light like crisp fresh ash, flattening, pasting, folding itself across my face and hair.

You know me and I know I know you. We know each other well it seems and you look at me fondly. Perhaps we are related. Perhaps we share the

same blood. You know me by name, by nature. You know I wish I knew who you were. I feel fear. Not for you, but for myself. I see myself twenty years ago as I am now. If not for the sight of my own hands, the weight of my own head, the feel of my own hair; I would believe my heart. In my memory you hold no place. If I could change this

now I would'.

perspectives. Battling against a wider discrimination by colour, the inclusive nature of the gangs is chilling, where truth and friendship are all easily bought and exchanged.

As a murder mystery, each section offers clues, but at the same time, quickly and completely involves us in each protagonist’s life.

Although rich with different voices, the girls are seen through a limited and stereotyped perspective. We are encouraged in part to accept male aggression and promiscuity as inevitable; as part of their masculine make-up.

It is doubtful if any of the girls or women would be given similar allowances. Whether this is simply representative of the characters, or inclusive of the author’s own prejudices, is tricky to discern.

However, the novel does work.

The compelling breathless prose imitates the fast-paced youthful lives. The crucial question in the end is not Who Killed John Lee, but how life could ever become so cheap?

There are no winners and losers, rights or wrongs - only the acknowledgement that repression will lead to different reactions. In exploring some of the most painful emotions and situations, Scott Heron attempts to leave you invigorated, and open-minded to change.

ALICE IN WONDERLAND

THE VULTURE

RUN ENDED

CANONGATE BOOKS LTD

BEDLAM THEATRE

RRP: £7.99

 LEWIS CARROLL’S Alice in Wonderland is an enchanting story; a young girl follows a white rabbit down a rabbit hole, encounters many bizarre adventures before waking up in true fairytale fashion to find it is all a dream.

Bedlam’s in-the-round production was innovative in its inclusion of audience members but failed to see past the characterisation of Disney’s 1951 version. Despite this weakness, the cast were excellent and provided a short but sweet evening of entertainment in an intimate setting.

The production started slowly, with Alex Cory attracting the most attention as the brattish but curious Alice. Several scenes seem to involve the entire cast running madly around the stage, and while this communicates the absurdity of life down the rabbit hole, it is a struggle to hear what the characters are saying.

In the court scene, the positioning of debating ‘jurors’ behind audience members means that dialogue between Alice and the King and Queen is lost.

Several characters manage to re-capture the magic lost by the chaos and rejuvenate the often flagging pace. They also serve to draw attention away from one cast member who embarrassingly can't quite keep a straight face in her role as ‘the door’.



Paying Carroll service The Mad Hatter and The March Hare are entertainingly bonkers but it is the sleepy Doormouse who steals the show, as James Lamont’s dozy antics keep the laughs coming. The Mock Turtle was another excellent performance that really brought some energy to an otherwise steadily paced scene.

The costumes are wonderfully visual and inventive. The live band that provides the music behind the scenes enhances the performance's enchanted air and add some originality to a well known story.

The in-the-round set up adds something extra to the presumption that this would be a retelling of a well worn tale, with half of the entertainment coming from audience expressions on the opposite side as the Cheshire cat uses others as props.

Generally, Alice in Wonderland is a sweet but insubstantial production which some will find entertaining at the least and others will find tedious in the constant chaotic scenes and general silliness.

Jen Bowden

EXPLOSIVE AND sinister, Gil Scott Heron's The Vulture still reverberates four decades after publication. This novel manages to retain a fresh lyricism while exposing a dark underworld inhabited by teenagers and young adults.

Behind the scenes of typical teenage indulgence, a thick trail of blood leads in numerous directions, and almost no hands remain clean.

“

The crucial question in the end is how life could ever become so cheap?"

When reading, it is difficult not to be aware of the author, Gil Scott Heron's, own life. While writing The Vulture at only nineteen, his incarceration for drug use has spanned over the previous decade.

These strands of decadence and creativity interlock and fuel the novels. Violent reality is in the end, all too consuming.

The Vulture echoes the cycle of killer and prey that operates within the neighbourhoods.

The question of who killed eighteen-year old John Lee is untangled through several narrative

Excerpt of narration from & We’ll Sleep Off The Night. Short 8mm film, with soundtrack ( June 2009 - April 2010) www.davidcass.co.uk

Christine Johnston

FOLLOWING THE success of last year’s production Pyjama Game, Edinburgh Footlights are back with a new director and some seriously toe-tapping numbers in Cole Porter’s Anything Goes.

This traditional adaptation of the musical offers a good night out and a chance to see performances from some potentially recognisable faces of the student body.

As a whole the production is very polished and professional in its staging, with an interesting and dynamic set which, that to some helpful sailors, changes fluidly between scenes.

The costumes also add to the polished effect, by making the portrayal of the 1930s seem very realistic in combination with the overriding theme of the celebrity criminal phenomenon of the era.

Despite taking a while to gain momentum and the kind of energy required to command the stage with such a big production, Anything Goes turns out to be a thoroughly enjoyable show with plenty to praise.

After a slightly less than confident beginning, in which the cast seem challenged by the larger chunks of dialogue, they soon turn it around to deliver a more snappy and engaging performance.

As the musical numbers become more frequent and the cast ease into their on-stage roles, some real stars emerge, most notably Rachel Timney who plays Reno Sweeney. She stands out from the beginning of the production, taking command of the stage and holding the production together.

She is particularly effective when she grabs the audience’s attention at the beginning of the title song.

At this point the whole cast is given the chance to show off their singing and dancing abilities in an impressively choreographed display.

“

The production is very polished and professional in its staging, with a dynamic set, which changes fluidly between scenes, thanks to some helpful sailors"

The only problem with some of the musical numbers is that at times it is a little difficult to hear the words over the band. Despite this minor weakness in the production, the band are exceptional in their support of the action on stage and in allowing the production to flow seamlessly from number to number.

The title number falls just before the intermission and leaves the audience with high expectations for the second act which are certainly met.

From the second act, the shining comedic performance of Joe Pike, who plays Evelyn Oakleigh, emerges more prominently; especially in ‘Gypsy In Me’, which gains quite a few laughs from the audience. The humour is greatly augmented by the scenes between Billy Crocker (Robert Flitcroft) and Moonface Martin (Mark Laverty).

Alanna Petrie

Theatre buff? Review it: culture.thestudent@gmail.com

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

Review 15 STAR RATING  Catch of the day Line caught  A bit fishy

 Raw

 Gutted OLIVIA FLOYER

A modest proposal

Luke Healey talks to Peter Liversidge about art, life and fish.

Peter Liversidge Falconry performance, 5 hours, Compton Verney, 2005.

PETER LIVERSIDGE just can’t stop fretting about his fish pie. The specimen currently browning to perfection in the oven of the Ingleby gallery’s tiny kitchen is an ad-hoc replacement for last night’s carefully planned preparations: 'to brown the top off I put it in the oven, and then I fell asleep for two hours. I woke up to a kitchen full of smoke, and it wasn’t my kitchen. I felt absolutely terrible. The whole house just stank. I was up all last night peeling more potatoes.'

It’s an understandably overstated reaction to the sort of thing that has happened to us all at some point or another. The kitchen in question was that of Florence and Richard Ingleby, Liversidge’s long-term patrons, and founders of the gallery in which we are stood. What’s more, this was no ordinary fish pie. This fish pie was a work of art.

It started life as a type-written proposal and thus takes its place in Liversidge’s back catalogue, alongside such previous proposals as 2006’s ‘I propose to open a sweet shop in the gallery space, selling everything from space dust to flying saucers, drum-sticks to fruit sours and all types of boiled sweets, rock candy etc.’ and 2008’s ‘I propose to install owl boxes all around Barcelona, encouraging owls to move into the city’. Not all these proposals are realised; a fact that Liversidge is happy to accept (a 2009 proposal read, simply, ‘I propose to vanish into thin air’) but they all exist as subjunctives. ‘I didn’t want to have this idea of a signature style.

That idea that you make work that looks

like your own work in order to pander to market demand’, Liversidge remarks.

‘The proposals are a form that is recognisably my own but within that I can do anything. I can make performances or I can make fish pies’. He is boiling peas and a large clump are still frozen together. ‘They’re like an iceberg’, he observes.

This mode of working has indeed resulted in the most varied and enticing list of upcoming events that Ingleby have put out for a long time. On the 11th of March, Liversidge ‘will give a motivational speech to Scottish business leaders’ (‘I’m really worried about that one’, he confesses. ‘I have no idea what I'm going to do’). Two days later, he ‘will drive all available hire cars from Edinburgh to Glasgow, where they will be left’. At some point between his Ingleby show's opening and closing he proposes to ‘walk around the corner’, ‘dress the gallery staff as comic book super-heroes’, ‘look into a couple of local myths’ and ‘gently place a piece of beautiful flint in the centre of Edinburgh’.

If some of these works sound pathetically underwhelming, that is partially Liversidge’s intention. ‘Some artists attempt to dominate the viewer with their work’, he notes. ‘I don’t like that idea. My input might come across as lazy, but I like giving people a beginning.

It’s like giving someone an allotment; some people will let it get taken over by weeds and others will produce the most amazing fecundity of vegetables’.

He likes the idea of his viewers bring-

ing their own personal histories to bear on his proposals: ‘the act of you reading them is much more important than that of me writing them...they’re basically written at my kitchen table. It’s no more glamorous or interesting than that.

But I like projecting myself into bigger spaces, where people from all sorts of different backgrounds can encounter these ideas in their own way’. He checks on the fish pie again, laughing about how Ivy, the Inglebys’ dog, had reacted to his culinary disaster: ‘she just looked at me as if to say, “you humans are really stupid, do you know that?” I ended up apologising to her for my foul language’.

Critics tend to emphasise the elements of humour in Liversidge’s work, be it absurdist or slapstick. His proposals can be read like sketches or vignettes (his forthcoming motivational speech led me to ask him about Ricky Gervais’s cringeworthy speeches in The Office, a show he turns out not to be familiar with), or like the ‘deliberately bad’ poems of last year’s Edinburgh Comedy Award winner, Tim Key. But when I mention this he begins to open up about an overlooked aspect of his work: ‘There’s quite a lot of introspection in my work, actually. The humour’s there, but it’s really quite melancholy. The proposals I’ve written for this exhibition...some of the stuff in there is quite direct for me. There’s a group of works that result from conversations I’ve had with people, based on things that have been going on in my life: people dying, meeting people, people moving away...things change. I’m interested in how these things impact you as a person. I don’t try to consciously reflect these things in my work, but when I sit at my typewriter they just come out.’ A new work, consisting of 1400 laboriously hand-painted wooden dice is a case in point: ‘My gran died the year before last and we were tidying out her house. Under the stairs was a box full of dice. There weren’t 1400 but...it’s just amazing to think of my grandparents taking them out of boardgames. My gran lived on her own for a long time, which seemed to jar with the idea of these boardgames as family activities’.

What emerges from these observations is a sense that Liversidge’s work is not just a series of flippant stunts, but is, for him (and, he hopes, for his viewers) a means of processing everything that life throws at him: be it fantastical or banal, comic or melancholy; and of using this material to forge connections back with the world around him. In this, he sees his professional practice as different from what we all do all of the time, in terms of publicity alone: ‘I teach as well, and the only difference between me and the students is that I’m older. There’s really nothing else. There’s really no hierarchy...

Well, I suppose there is, because I’m the authority figure, but hopefully when they see how I burn fish pies they’ll realise that that doesn’t mean a lot’.

It’s come back to the fish pie.

‘That really was a nightmare. You have the most beautiful fish, probably line caught by some ancient fisherman in Inverbervie, brought by train in a cool bag to some ne’er-do-well in Edinburgh who then burns in to a crisp.’ But, thanks to Liversidge’s determination to blur the boundaries between art and life, there’s a lesson in this for all of us, and it is this: ‘If you do it wrong, go and get some more fish’.

The reading obvious?

WITH THE University of Edinburgh’s English Literature department offering third years a chance to study 'Stories for Boys', the prevalence of gender divisions within literature are exposed as being a subject of considerable depth. The course examines the loosely grouped “adventure stories” and pays some attention to the masculine imperial subject.

A typical checklist for a “male” novel may feature war, drug-taking and satire, while a “female” novel may focus on the everyday; portraits of people and emotional journeys rather than literal, action-packed ones.

the public, who often did not assign weight to works by female hands.

Writing a novel that appeals to both sexes is clearly quite a feat and notably Nick Hornby’s Fever Pitch and High Fidelity have been celebrated for achieving such a double-whammy. Yet not even J.K.Rowling escaped gender categorisation despite the popularity of the Harry Potter series among both boys and girls.

Rowling was encouraged to withhold her Christian name when Harry Potter and the Philosopher’s Stone was first released, later revealing that the decision to publish under the initials by which she is now so well known was an

Moby Dick - Herman Melville The Wasp Factory - Iain Banks Heart of Darkness - Joseph Conrad Treasure Island - R.L.Stevenson The Discworld Series- T. Pratchett

Jane Eyre - Charlotte Bronte Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen Cat’s Eye - Margaret Atwood Bridget Jones’ Diary - H. Fielding House of Spirits - Isabel Allende To the Lighthouse - Virginia Woolf attempt made by her publishers to appeal to both sexes. A wizarding adventure is typically the territory of a male children’s fiction author and research has revealed that even if a boy knew the author was called Joanne he would have been put off the book, although the title featured a male protagonist.

It is perhaps interesting to sneak a peek at the bookshelf of someone from the opposite sex to put this theory to the test. Or indeed, simply to think about what you desire from a novel and seeing whether they are the typical traits of the gender divide.

Despite the subjectivity of reading preferences, with terms like “chick-lit” being coined only relatively recently, it looks like our perceptions of the division, at least, are not going away any time soon.

Hannah Ramsey

Stories for boys?

Questions such as 'will the leading lady get her man in the end?' and, 'ohmygod, will her muslin match her bonnet?' will be prevalent.

While these are clearly just exaggerated stereotypes, it is still almost indisputable that most men and women read differently, or at least desire different components from a novel. Authorship can also be regarded as gender-specific. The fact that far more female authors than male ones have published under an opposite-sex pseudonym is testament to this notion.

When discussing pen names, the nineteenth century is an ideal era to examine. Mary Ann Evans’ nom de plume was George Eliot, while the three Brontë sisters became Currer, Ellis and Acton Bell. This was to encourage the acceptance of both publishing houses and

Lit for chicks?

Tuesday February 16 2010 film@studentnewspaper.org

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16 Review

Film er than the content is the film’s major flaw. Ford’s set design and costumes, though interesting to look at, alienate the viewers. The music is clobbering and the voice-over lacks a solid goal. If the ridiculously good-looking Kenny and Carlos don’t bring a smirk to your face, the film’s conclusion definitely will.

A recent film to tackle the death of a loved one using music and visuals to drive the story was Darren Aronofsky’s The Fountain. Though you may not know what the hell is going on during Aronofsky’s meditation (it definitely needs to be watched more than once), his visual and musical aesthetic provides more space for empathy.

A Single Man will very likely leave the viewer as blasé as the main character. Though a good addition to a growing list of films about homosexual relationships, it doesn’t deliver the emotional knockout which could potentially lurk beneath George’s calm surface.

A Single Man Directed by Tom Ford  The struggle for political rights during the twentieth century highlighted the importance of representation. The reason why a film like A Single Man can even be released is due to the depictions of the homosexual community since the 1990s (thank Ellen, Gus Van Sant and reality television). With Brokeback Mountain five years behind us, something tells me there will not be too many protests over this one.

Colin Firth stars as George Falconer, a professor of English whose boyfriend of 16 years, Jim, has died in a car accident eight months before.

Kissing Jim’s cold limp lips at the snowy scene of a car crash, the film opens with George waking from this bad dream. A fountain pen lies near his hand and he is bleeding all over his white bed sheets, carrying dream into reality. Kicking his day off with such melancholy, George observes himself in the mirror: “Just get through the goddamn day.”

George’s 'goddamn day' is punc-

tuated by moments of serenity and memories that flood his mind with the suddenness of a thunderclap. George's world fills up with colour and he basks in the glow of the moment, be it the beauty of a secretary or that of children playing in the yard. Nevertheless, the moment always wanes, giving way to George’s default state of depression.

Much has been made of this film not only because of Colin Firth’s performance (excellent and subtle), but also for the work of director Tom Ford. Widely known as an American fashion designer, Ford’s day job reveals itself in the film’s chic modern look and the men George meets during his day (Kenny and Carlos) who

seem to have been pulled from Derek Zoolander’s School of Ridiculously Good-Looking Models.

Don’t get me wrong, Firth is handsome, but Nicholas Hoult (Kenny) and Jon Kortajarena (Carlos) were probably selected for their eyes and bone structure.

An over-reliance on the form rath-

PONYO DAY Valentine's Directed by Hayao Miyazaki 

Valentine's DAY Directed by Gary Marshall  Despite the unoriginal title, Valentine’s Day is a bit better than your formulaic romantic comedy. Touted to be the next Love Actually, there is certainly enough eye candy to keep both girls and their reluctant boyfriends happy. Valentine’s Day follows a similar blueprint to its British predecessor in that it follows the characters as they discover that love doesn’t run smoothly, particularly on days such as Valentine’s when couples want everything to be just perfect.

Some of the film’s sub-plots and relationships are more convincing than others. Ashton Kutcher and Jennifer Garner becoming enlightened

to the fact that the person they are with isn’t the person they thought they were, is handled well and realistically.

Similarly impressive are the comedic turns from Anne Hathaway and singer Taylor Swift. Hathaway is comfortable performing the girl-next-door with a twist - a secretary moonlighting as an adult phone entertainer. Taylor Swift’s character is embarrassingly loved up with Twilight hunk Taylor Lautner. Just check out the size of the cuddly bear he gets her! However, along with the meals and the big gestures of eternal love, this is perhaps also an acknowledgement of how crazily commercial this day has become.

The sub-plots, however, are not as successful, probably because actors, such as Julia Roberts and Jessica Alba, are totally under-utilised. For the first time in her pairing with director Garry Marshall, Roberts’ role is relatively small. Given her rom-com 'leading lady' status it is difficult to be convinced by her return as servicewoman Captain

Kate Hazeltine. Sitting beside Holden (Bradley Cooper) on a plane as she returns home to see her young son, more is actually made of his mysteriousness than Kate’s background. However, prepare to be surprised by the reasons behind Holden’s seeming enigma!

Jessica Alba playing Reed Bennett’s (Ashton Kutcher) girlfriend is also unbelievable. Don’t get me wrong, Alba and Kutcher make a good-looking couple but as with Roberts, not enough substance is given to Alba.

For fans of Pretty Woman, like me, the references to the film and the cameos from its characters are brilliant.

And although all the relationships in Valentine’s Day fail to be convincing, you just can’t help but smile at the film’s humour.

Angela Meek

Screening Times Cineworld Daily : 11.30 14.30 17.30 20.30

Hayao Miyazaki has done it yet again. Delving deep into the reaches of that wonderful place that is his imagination, Miyazaki has pulled out this new classic: one which is sure to warm the cockles of any heart. Loosely based on the Hans Christian Andersen fairytale 'The Little Mermaid', Ponyo is the story of a goldfish who falls in love with a human boy.

Five-year-old Sosuke (voiced by Frankie Jonas) rescues Ponyo (voiced

by Noah Cyrus) who, stuck in a bit of a tight spot, has swum away from home.

Her worried father, however, finds her and, wary of humanity, takes her back under the sea. But Ponyo, now desperate to be human, escapes her father for the second time and returns to Sosuke.

Returning this time as a little girl, Ponyo has upset the balance of nature, which Sosuke must set right by proving his love for her. Together, Ponyo and Sosuke embark on their own little seafaring adventure.

Recognisably Miyazaki’s style, the hand-drawn animation is beautifully crafted. At the same time it retains a delightful simplicity (something we don’t see too much of in these days of modern computer technology) which adds to the wonderfully child-like quality of the film. The bright and vibrant colours also help by really bringing the animation to life.

Ponyo expresses perfectly that feeling of pure joy which only a child can experience, bursting as she does into an unknown world with energy and delight. The film's animation successfully captures both emotion and movement.

The waves are particulary stunning as the bewitching, lyrical motion of water has been caught well.

As with most of Miyazaki's films, there is a very perceptible concern for

Remington Smith

Screening Times Cineworld

Daily: 10.45 13.15 15.45 18.15 20.45 the environment and nature is presented as a force which is at once both extremely powerful and tenderly fragile.

This is not however, as explicit as in films like Pom Poko or Princess Mononoke. The pollution of the sea, although highlighted, does not distract from the central story of young love.

Again, unlike his other films, the darker elements that are sometimes brought out are not present in Ponyo.

Created most definitely for a younger audience, this is a very innocent love story which also focuses on the relationship between mother and child.

However, this is not to say that Ponyo is not for us. Only the more mature viewer (as in the over-10s!) will pick up on the slightly crazy but entertaining antics of Sosuke’s mother.

Those of you who love Miyazaki will love this new film. Even those of you who are not normally fans of Miyazaki might enjoy this little tale of childhood.

It is impossible not to be won over by such adorable images.

Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 11.00 13.20 15.40

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Tuesday January 16 2010 film@studentnewspaper.org

Review 17

the wolfman

The Anime King

Helen Harjak takes a look at the man behind the enchanting world of Ponyo

Directed by Joe Johnston  Combining a cinematic icon with a killer cast, The Wolfman has all the makings of a cult hit. This potential for greatness stands in huge contrast to the sleep-inducing quality of the final product. While not the worst film I’ve seen in recent history, it might be the most disappointing.

Based on the godfather of werewolf movies, The Wolf Man, this remake has a fairly predictable plot. Despite leaving no surprises for the audience, The Wolfman still tries to build some tension.

It is almost as though the producers thought that the audience might not know what a werewolf is. The wait for some entertainment is a long one with only occasional interesting moments scattered sparingly across the two-hour epic.

Lawrence Talbot (Benicio Del Toro) returns to the family estate to investigate the savage murder of his brother.

Inevitably, he encounters his estranged father Sir John (Anthony Hopkins) and Gwen Conliff (Emily Blunt), his late brother’s fiancée. The relationships between these characters are never really fleshed out the way they should be, and the hollow dialogue doesn’t go beyond informing the audience of the action. It is clear that Talbot’s relationship with his father is a cold one, but you don’t get any real sense of the underlying bitterness or resentment. Likewise it is never clear what is actually going on between Gwen and Talbot. This could

be because both cases present complex scenarios that the film simply isn’t able to deal with.

Still, the cast manages to use what little substance there is to keep the film alive, albeit only on life support. The only enjoyable character is Inspector Abberline (Hugo Weaving) who, fresh after dealing with Jack the Ripper, manages to keep his cool throughout, even when confronted by the werewolf itself. His exchanges with the superstitious townsfolk in the local pub make for the best scenes in the whole film.

Remaining fairly mundane for about an hour and a half, the film suddenly picks up in the last 30 minutes as it sprints desperately towards its conclusion. It is here that we can see the damage from two years on the cutting room floor: the climax is no more than a premature ejaculation.

Percy Jackson and the lightning thief

We also witness here the classic werewolf monster re-imagined for the new decade. However, once again the design is disappointing. Probably because the paw-prints left by the original leave little room for creativity, but at the very least they could have made it look scary.

The aforementioned gore, while not without its moments, is fairly uninspiring. Watching an arm fly out of a pit to then fire its owner's gun may have its charm, but watching a man fail to kill himself only to be decapitated a split second later isn’t all that horrifying either.

Ultimately The Wolfman is just wasted potential. The character concepts are fantastic and the dynamic between Talbot, Sir John and Gwen is ripe with possibilities for drama, but this has all been downplayed as this is meant to be

My name is khan

Directed by Chris Columbus 

Directed by Karan Johar 

So heavily obsessed seemed the studio with the idea that Percy Jackson was the new Harry Potter that watching the trailer for this film triggered the sensation of being hit in the face with a bludger. The blueprint is certainly the same; the script is based on a best-selling series of children’s books about a disadvantaged kid who discovers that he is in fact 'special' - this time around it just happens that his dad is the god of the sea, Poseidon (Kevin McKidd).

Sadly, Percy Jackson suffers from a plot as rigid and unsatisfying as any Harry Potter wannabe. There is a jarring chasm between the mystery of the Olympian gods, elusive and powerful in words and deeds, and the Disney tween world of the ‘Half-Blood Camp’ where the children of the gods train together for some entirely unknown purpose. Maybe in order to work as extras in the next Narnia film?

Because of this inevitable tween element, the dialogue swerves far too much into “WTF? I’m a demi-god!!

LOL” territory. What could have been an inventive modern retelling of the myth of the lotus-eaters is somehow turned into a Lady Gaga music video.

Furthermore, there’s an underlying completely unnecessary and tacky moral message seemingly along the lines that even those with ADHD and dyslexia can achieve great things.

The film plods along from one dry set piece to another and, apart from the beautiful and inspiring CGI visions of Mount Olympus and the Underworld, it feels a bit like a stale journey. It’s about time filmmakers realised that not

With a two and a half hour running time, this film is certainly not for the faint-hearted. Set initially in India it follows the life of Rizwan Khan (Tanay Chheda as child, and Shahrukh Khan), a devout Muslim with Asperger’s syndrome.

Following the death of his mother he moves to San Francisco and falls in love with the beautiful Mandira (Kajol Devgan), who is living in the city with her son following a short-lived but disastrous arranged marriage. The two eventually get together but with the subsequent dawn of 9/11 and the ensuing surge of anti-Islamic sentiment, their relationship soon becomes increasingly fraught.

In true Bollywood style this film is unrelentingly dramatic, but it gets lost in too many huge themes. Disability, terrorism, hurricanes, racism and death ultimately obscure any defined central storyline. Although Tanay Chheda’s portrayal of the young Rizwan is surprisingly convincing, Shahrukh Khan’s attempt is largely ham-handed and at times bordering on the absurd. There

all climactic final battles need to take place on top of famous monuments.

However, this film is rescued from the brink of banality thanks to the Alisters roped in to play various mythical beings. Topping the bill in quality is Uma Thurman’s Medusa whose delight in playing the role is visible in every slithering syllable of her character’s dialogue and makes her an absolute joy to watch. Added to this are finely hammy performances from Pierce Brosnan (Chiron) and Sean Bean (Zeus) – disappointingly however, this did not lead to Goldeneye 2: The Rematch. Then there is Steve Coogan in the role of Hades, the lord of the Underworld - a casting choice baffling in itself but made further entertaining because of a peculiar source of inspiration. I’ll give you two words: Mick Jagger.

In the end, Percy Jackson appears to be just an actors’ playground, and we can only but join in on their fun.

Clarisse Loughrey

Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 11.40 14.30 17.20 20.15

a horror movie.

In a time when the werewolf affliction is all too recognisable, it can’t really pull off the 'scare' factor. It’s almost depressing to think that even with all the right pieces in place, werewolves simply don’t inspire terror anymore.

Now they are merely objects for reinterpretation - as sexy teenagers in New Moon or socially challenged men in Being Human. Much like the humans who become werewolves themselves, only a shadow of the original concept remains.

Thomas Hasler

Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 12.30 15.00 17.40 20.00 21.00 are certainly amusing moments, but jokes revolving around his social misunderstandings soon become repetitive and too often threaten to unwittingly insult rather than raise awareness for the condition.

My Name is Khan raises some serious issues, notably the shameful treatment of Muslims since September 2001, but an inconsistent script and lack of focus on any one driving theme detracts from its authenticity, leaving one feeling less than satisfied. This said, and despite its mammoth length, it is consistently entertaining. And there are some impressive performances, especially from Kajol Devgan and Tanay Chheda. It is a shame therefore, that Khan’s central delivery predominantly translates as a sub-standard impersonation of Rain Man. Johar’s efforts to produce something with a ‘meaningful message’ are admirable but largely misguided. So, although the film deserves accolade for having the guts to tackle some hefty themes, its failings unfortunately result in it falling short despite its good intentions. It has its moments but ultimately, My Name Is Khan collapses under the number of contentious issues it tries to cover.

Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 12.30 16.20 20.00

Hayao Miyazaki, sometimes perhaps unfairly called the ‘Walt Disney of Japan’, is definitely one of the greatest and most popular animators in the world. Miyazaki’s work appeals to children and adults alike, although some of his films could be categorised as being made for one of the focus groups.

His latest film, Ponyo, which is out in UK cinemas from this week, is mainly meant for younger viewers, retelling the story of the Little Mermaid. Many of Miyazaki’s films have an underlying message aimed at raising environmental awareness – something that is subtly and less subtly noticeable from Princess Mononoke to Ponyo. Miyazaki has also campaigned for environmental causes himself, most notably protecting woodlands against development.

Over the last 30 years Miyazaki has developed a very specific animation style and created many interesting mythologies which often clash with and challenge the everyday world. The mysterious characters of Miyazaki’s films are never threatening in their appearance; instead of imagining a terrifying unknown, Miyazaki depicts a world full of wonders where there are no real bad guys besides the thoughtless humans. Miyazaki’s imaginative works are inspired by his childhood experiences, dreams and landscapes.

Some motifs like flying and different aerial vehicles in Miyazaki’s films have often been interpreted as references to his family business of manufacturing parts for airplanes during World War II. However, Miyazaki’s anti-military stance and his love of nature are obvious.

There is a notion that, moving away from the earlier films like My Neighbour Totoro and Kiki’s Delivery Service, Miyazaki’s recent work has become even more fantastical. However, the development of Miyazaki’s fantasy is fascinating and the reappearance of certain characters offers the viewers a glimpse into an exceptional world.

Miyazaki’s animation is handdrawn and insistently 2D, avoiding the new computer-generated techniques used by animation greats like Pixar.

However, Miyazaki doesn’t have anything against 3D ventures as such.

He’s simply happy with his own way of working. Having used digital technology for some parts of Princess Mononoke due to time restrictions, Miyazaki went properly back to 2D with Ponyo.

Nowadays Miyazaki has his own production company, Studio Ghibli, which also produces works by other animators working to maintain the two-dimensional tradition of animation. Miyazaki co-founded Studio Ghibli with Isao Takahata after the success of his Nausicaä of the Valley of the Wind in the 1980s.

Miyazaki has made retirement plans several times, but recently there has been news of his plans to direct at least two more films for Studio Ghibli in the next three years. His son Goro is also a director, with Tales from Earthsea under his belt.

As for being the Japanese Disney, rumour has it that Miyazaki doesn’t like the title. However, after some difficulties in the initial distribution deals in the 1990s, Miyazaki has now been embraced by the Disney company and is good friends with Toy Story director John Lasseter.

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

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18 Review

Music

Owl Shitty

Rip-off merchant Owl City gets the 1-star treatment from Buster Stonham

Owl City Ocean Eyes Universal

 Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past month you’ll have heard of Owl City, otherwise known as Adam Young from Minnesota. His current single, ‘Fireflies’ is a song that’s as catchy as swine flu and twice as unpleasant, sitting atop the British singles chart right now as this review is being written after having reached number one across the pond as well.

Owl City’s sound has come under widespread criticism for borrowing heavily from The Postal Service, referring particularly to ‘Fireflies’ which bears a striking resemblance to Postal Service’s 2003 single ‘Such Great Heights’. This criticism is in fact being kind. I’m not trying to say that every band has to reinvent rock music, but I’m sure there must be laws against this kind of blatant plagiarism.

All musical aspects of this album are very much in debt to The Postal Pavement The Courage of Others BELLA UNION

 I’ve been avoiding Pavement, the way I avoid The Wire; I’m sick of people saying how great they are. If they’re so great then Quarantine the Past: The Best of Pavement is going to be like Christmas. Christmas in my face. The result was underwhelming. ‘They sound so nineties’ was my first insight. They are the sound of the nineties that you weren’t invited to with shades of Nirvana, The Pixies and Lou Reed’s Transformer.

Lyricist Malkmus oscillates between loathing and disgust; generally the

Service, right down to the high pitched robotic-style vocals which very quickly become infuriating.

Although in this case it’s difficult to tell whether this is an Auto-Tune affect or if Young is in fact an android, judging by the complete lack of emotion or feeling contained in any of the lyrics.

Admittedly there are moments of brilliance, such as opener ‘Cave in’ which can only be described as a great track, and ‘Umbrella Beach’ which wouldn’t sound out of place at a Venga Boys concert in Ibiza and comes as such a surprise that it’s impossible not to smile. On the whole, this brand of cheesy synth-pop combined with lyrics so safe you could secure a loan against them, makes for a very disappointing listen.

The low point of the album, however, has to be ‘Dental Care’, which must be the first song to genuinely be about oral hygiene. Lines such as ‘I've been to the dentist a thousand times, so I know the drill’ and ‘When hygienists leave on long vacations, that's when dentists scream and lose their patience’ are clearly attempts to be witty that just come across as smug and typify the sheer banality of Owl City’s music. sort of areas you wouldn’t want to leave your car parked at night. This is a very angry compilation of that nineties grunge anger you just can’t replicate in the noughties. Especially not if you own an iphone.

For those aficionados familiar with Pavement, 2010 is a big year as they reunite after an eleven year hiatus. This release marks the reunion.

No previously unreleased material but 23 fully remastered (a phrase I take issue with, I prefer ‘fully remistressed’) tracks.

5 studio albums provide fertile ground from which to draw hits though Terror Twilight, their final album is mostly neglected with the bulk of the tracklisting coming from Slanted & Enchanted and Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain. It’s these earlier more lo-fi songs that resonate most powerfully on this compilation such as ‘Here’ and ‘Two States’.‘Box

Elder’ is taken from their debut EP of 1989, while ‘Unseen Power of the Picket Fence’ was a b-side. The latter is a wry tribute to REM in which Malkmus bluntly lists tracks of theirs including ‘Time After Time...' - my least favourite song. I concur Malkmus.

And what of their reunion after their decidedly inamicable break up in 1999? Is it a cash-in or is it because as opener ‘Gold Soundz’ contests, ‘you can never quarantine the past’? Pavement, after all, never achieved the same commercial success of bands like The Pixies despite resolutely occupying the same musical floorspace. Maybe it’s time to redress this. I know I’ve already reconfigured my adolescent memories to include the band, maybe you should too.

Catherine Sylvain

Lightspeed Champion Life is Sweet! Nice To Meet You Domino

 Devonté Hynes is evidently a restless musician. From a man who used to jump around stage in jeans of bicycle short-degree tightness on behalf of a band whose name was a pun on the word testicles, the simple but mature and classically catchy work on show on here is an indication that the 20 year old has been doing some serious growing up in recent years. This is Dev’s second album under alias Lightspeed Champion, a name under which he has been able to escape from Test Icicles’ odd blend of beatdriven dance punk music that he was apparently ‘never, ever that keen on’, to develop a new style of folk-powered indie.

Overseen by the watchful eye of Ben Allen (Animal Collective, Gnarls Barkley), here Hynes has created an impressive set of solid indie tunes, through which Lightspeed’s restless creativity permeates through-

out. Take ballad 'There’s Nothing Underwater', which is unpredictably characterized by its use of ukulele, oboe, piano and bells set against a crooning male choir. 'Opener Dead Head Blues' is a definite highlight, complete with screeching guitar solo and eruption into a powerful soundscape set against some impressive vocals. Meanwhile, effective ballads 'Smooth Day (At The Library)', complete with touching harp and Fleetwood Mac-esque slide guitar and 'Sweetheart', are clear indications of Hynes’ maturing lyrical capacity.

Overall, it is an album heavily influenced by classical music and musical theatre, and the handclaps, male choirs and melodramatic wailings definitely result in a very camp and cheery sounding record, despite lyrics of substantial pain and substance ('Madame Van Damme' is a song about a prostitute). Whilst this is fun for a while, by the album’s conclusion it starts to drag and Hynes’ melodrama and self-conscious indie-ness becomes, well, pretty annoying. Very good for what it is, however.

Piers Barber

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Tuesday 16 February 2010 studentnewspaper.org

Review 19

TV

Teenage Kicks

DO NOT ADJUST YOUR SET

Yes, it's silly. Yes, it can be really rubbish. But Michael Russam is finding it hard to kick his Skins habit

H

SKINS: Admit it - when you were 16, you didn't do nearly as many cool and sexy things as these guys, nor look as cool and sexy while doing them. o some of the more cynical among T us, Skins has presented a bit of a problem of late. It would be no mistake

to claim that many simply hated it outright from the very beginning, but it was loved in equal measure. Back then, to call the show a realistic depiction of British teenage life would have been naïve certainly, but such a claim would not have seemed anywhere near as ridiculous as it does now. The second series let us down with increasingly improbable melodrama, the third alienated many fans with its new, inferior set of characters, and so here we are at the fourth series with expectations lower than ever.

While this series clearly continues the programme’s downward trajectory, how can we seriously claim to criticise

its increasing silliness when that very silliness was a big part of what made the show such enjoyable, nihilistic entertainment? Even the first series had its fair share of ridiculous plot twists; I clearly recall inwardly sighing as Effy’s kidnapping unfolded. Things are certainly different now, though. The aforementioned sharkjumping occurred towards the end of that series, clearly an attempt at something akin to a dramatic finale of sorts, which perhaps makes it more excusable. Now, however, from the beginning we’re treated to stalkers, sudden inexplicable infidelities and an irritating, outright unrealistic new disciplinary figure - a character that by the third episode is yet to have been explored beyond his surface level as the nasty teacher. All of these elements, integral as they are to the plot,

Coming of Age

Richard Dennis witnesses the terrible BBC Three comedy

W

hat Coming of Age is about is teenagers, sex and jokes about sex (yes, that title is almost certainly meant as a sexual pun). But it totally fails in all three objectives. The jokes are crude and unthinking, with the references to sex sounding like an unhinged virgin shouting out sexual terms in the vain hope that someone will take pity on him and… I don’t know, fuck him?

Yes, I just used the word ‘fuck’.

Creator and writer Tim Dawson, 22, doesn’t. Nor does he use ‘shit’, ‘bollocks’ or any term that makes up every other word in teenage dialogue. Not that they’re essential to comedy, but their absence highlights how sterile and detached a take this is on the lighter side of being a sex-obsessed teenager. Has Dawson forgotten in four short years

what it is to be a teenager? There’s no bite to the comedy, no familiarity, no wit and no originality. It really could be the worst tragedy ever to appear on BBC Three.

Tragedy and comedy are inextricably linked. The two are semi-circles that form a whole, and as such there are tipping points where tragedy turns into comedy and vice versa. Superficially, Coming of Age is a comedy. And yet its effect is most definitely that of a tragedy. This afterbirth of a sitcom erodes away so much joy, instils such despair at the human condition, that if all the great tragedies are wiped out in some freak (and tragic) accident, alone, in this barren and desolate cultural wasteland, the crippled bastion of BBC Three mediocrity that is Coming of Age will be found and hailed as the worst thing ever to befall the arts.

The one in the middle is zany. We know this because he is jumping.

seem shoe-horned in to a show that would have been better off without. The problem with all this is that, somehow, I’m still compelled to watch and enjoy the show.

Granted, I don’t enjoy it in the same way that I used to. The first series was at times genuinely affecting, and often very funny. But now the jokes appear to fall flatter and flatter, and the dialogue is becoming more and more execrable (“I just feel like shit, and all I can do is feel it, you know?”). While the show's artistic merits may be dwindling, it provides just as much straight-up escapism as before, which may have been what the show was about from the beginning (something that some of the detractors often have a hard time accepting). That’s not to say that Skins has lost all semblance of

quality. The character of Cook, and his portrayal at the hands of Jack O’Connell, has been something of a beacon amongst the more muddled performances of the third series cast, and the resurgence of him as a top-billing character in the third episode of series four results in it being the best of the bunch so far. It shows that there is still life in the programme and that its potential to better itself still remains.

Whether or not this is likely is uncertain.

However, in the mean time it's probably best to simply accept that while it's hardly the loveable, edgy teen-comedy-drama of yore, it's still a lot of fun to watch. Even if it is more of a sweary teenage soap opera nowadays, I still know what I’ll be doing at ten o’clock on Thursdays for the foreseeable future.

Monster Mums

Kirsten Waller experiences some wannabe MILFs

A

s if there wasn’t enough crap in the world (global warming, the recession, N-Dubz), BBC Three has decided that we need another of their life-enhancing makeover shows, this time the nicely-titled Hotter Than My Daughter.

Gone is the practice of dragging scantily dressed women in front of a shitty fake computer and getting men to slag them off, à la Snog, Marry or Avoid.

All the BBC can now afford is a big cardboard cut-out of mum and daughter, which Liz McClarnon has to drag around the country and ask slightly bemused members

of the public which one they think looks worse. It’s enough to warm the cockles of your heart.

Bizarrely, the beginning of the show attempts to pitch itself as a piece of investigative journalism, although the content is less taxing than the average Daily Mail features page. However, once the terrifying social problem of "mothers who wear clothes that are a bit tacky" has been dealt with, the fairly unexciting makeovers can begin. Which, for some reason, are portrayed in fake comic strips and last about 30 seconds. Then, it’s back to the main room (or, as titled in the show, ‘hotness heaven’) for the equally unexciting reveal. Invariably, there are tears and squeals.

But you won’t care.

Hotter Than My Daughter's not the sort of Daughter programme that’s good.

But it’s also not the sort of programme that’s so awful you have to throw the remote at the screen the moment it comes on. It’s just... blah. As bland as a chicken korma with all the colour and taste and chicken removed.

ave you been watching The Persuasionists? No, of course you haven't. I know this because it was recently shifted to a 'graveyard slot' of Thursday nights at 11, precisely because it didn't have any viewers. And I also know this because if you had, like me, been watching The Persuasionists, you would have spent the entirety of the following week pathetically weeping at the poor state of British comedy and violently screaming with anger that such a poor programme managed to show its dirty, dirty face on BBC Two. Okay, okay, I'm being incredibly hyperbolic, but honestly, you should watch this shit. It's about an advertising agency's madcap misadventures in persuading companies to buy their designs that persuade customers to buy the product. This seems like a set-up with relative promise, a good chance to explore the murky environment of people receiving huge amounts of money to hawk stuff that no one really needs anyway.

In the place of original and thought-provoking comedy examining a hitherto unexplored world, we get bad jokes. Bad jokes.

Not just jokes that don't make you laugh, but those made and told with such incompetence that the viewer completely misses the point of them. For example, one of the characters' original pitches is for a new cheese company called Cockney Cheese. If you've already noticed the sexual pun inherent in their name, then well done - you were quicker than me. I had to have it explained to me hours after watching it, much like what I imagine is happening for a lot of you right now.

There is a real tragedy to be witnessed here, at least culturally.

This is BBC Two. This is the channel of The Culture Show, of The Thick of It, of genuinely intelligent and subversive programming. If they put out this dross on BBC Three alongside the bloody awful Coming of Age, I wouldn't have minded. Let it be watched by idiots, but please don't broadcast it in a space that could have been filled with better, cleverer material. Pulling and The Peter Seraf inowicz Show, both funny and intelligent in different ways, would have done well in this slot if they hadn't been unceremoniousally dumped by the same people that commissioned this mindless dreck.

Let's just hope everyone involved with this show can move on, see where they went wrong, and promise to never, ever make bad jokes about cock cheese again.

Paddy Douglas

Tuseday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

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20 Review

CONSERVA-TECH

Al'qaeda eat your heart out

David Williamson plays a game where you explode a lot - what are the odds?

'SPLOSION MAN X360 (XBLA) 800 Microsoft Points (#6.90) MICROSOFT, TWISTED PIXEL



o far I've just about managed to S avoid using this column as a soapbox to stand on while I bitch and whine

about my own personal issues with the games industry. Therefore, as I'm about to blow enough hot air to make myself a viable option for NASA's next spacecraft prototype - I thought it only fair to give you a little bit of warning.

I am, always have and always will be, a dedicated PC gamer. The type that scoffs at playing a first-person-shooter with an x360 pad, and is well aware that compared to Deus Ex, Mass Effect is light years away from being the greatest RPG ever made.

I'm not entirely blind to the advantages of consoles. It's pretty diffcult to gather your friends around a PC for a game of Pro Evo or Mario Kart and when it comes to Street Fighter IV a mouse and keyboard just doesn't cut the mustard. I do however, have an uneasy relationship with consoles simply because since they entered the mainstream all I've heard about PC gaming is that it is either A) dying, or B) already dead.

Now if such comments were the misguided outbursts of the odd prepubescent forumite they wouldn't bother me so much. Unfortunately, it isn't merely ignorant teenagers who hold this opinion. Ever since Halo betrayed its originally intended platform ten years ago, game after game has either suffered a delayed PC release or been denied one entirely. This very week Dead Space 2 and Alan Wake became the latest casualties of the PC gaming cull.

Frankly, Alan Wake can go boil his pretentious head. The only reason Microsoft have made it a 360 exclusive is to shift more consoles - a preposterous decision for a company who have just released Windows 7. However, Dead Space 2 has been denied a PC release due to alleged lack of sales of the original. It is in this where the real issue lies.

Dead Space was an excellent game, but like GTA IV and many others it was disastrously optimised for PC controls - simply turning Isaac Clarke around was like trying to drag a rhino through a swimming pool filled with treacle.

As a result of mistakes made by the developer, sales were lost. But instead of fixing them for the sequel, EA decided to pull the game from the PC altogether.

EA are one of many companies who use lack of sales as a reason not to release games on PC alongside the age-old excuse of piracy. Yet the sales figures they refer to do not include those made via digital distribution services like Steam, which are estimated to make up 47 percent of all PC game sales, and with ten million users on Steam alone, that's an awful lot unaccounted sales.

If PC gaming does die, it will be because corporations like Microsoft and EA kill it, and it will undoubtedly be a mistake they regret.

Richard Lane

he concept of 'Splosion Man is T simple. Your character has one ability: he explodes. You must make

your way through 50-or-so increasingly convoluted platforming levels, using the momentum generated by your self-detonations.

This may not sound like a particularly riveting concept but 'Splosion Man is more than the sum of its parts. Its greatest strength lies in the way that this idea is presented. By this, I don’t mean that the graphics are stunning. In fact the escape from the research facility in which 'Splosion Man was created involves traversing rather generic looking levels which change little from one to the next. This is easily forgiven thanks to the character and humour present throughout which make for a genuinely funny and entertaining experience.

Think Earthworm Jim and you’re on the right track.

'Splosion Man himself takes most of the credit for this. For someone who is essentially the Human Torch after one too many shots of espresso, he sure is a lovable little fella. When he runs from place to place he occasionally sticks his arms out and makes aeroplane noises, or drags his knuckles and sounds like a chimp. When defeating an enemy he will scream things like, "Get to thee choppa!" He also has an inexplicable obsession with meat.Vanquished enemies explode in a shower of steaks,

OOH BETTY: Alongside being highly volatile, 'Splosion man did a fine Frank Spencer impression for no good reason other than your amusement, while the loading screens feature ‘Splosion Man yelling things like "Pork Chop!" or "Pot Roast!"

The other audio effects also tick all the right boxes with a soundtrack like a crazy 60’s spy cartoon theme song. Special mention must be made of the 'Everybody Loves Doughnuts' song which makes an appearance every time you encounter a particularly portly foe, who doubles as a shield alongside mild comic relief. The game generally features some of the most bizarre noises you’re ever likely to hear yet somehow it never gets annoying or repetitive.

However, this is not something which can be said about certain sections of the

game. From the half-way point onwards the difficulty curve gets noticeably steeper with stages quickly throwing many new hazards at the player. Nine times out of ten, you’ll be dead before you work out what’s going on. Admittedly the plentiful checkpoints ease the pain somewhat, but the trial and error nature of these sections does grate.

One saving grace comes from the ‘Way of the Coward’ option, which allows you to simply bypass levels once you’ve died a certain number of times. Be warned though, this comes at the price of having to play the next section in a tutu.

Genius.

The pain of those repeated deaths are quickly forgotten with the satisfaction of

Confessions of a girl gamer

blasting through a section on your first attempt, albeit sometimes more by luck than judgement. The bosses are also particularly memorable, whether you're fighting a giant robot who declares his love for missiles every time he attacks or doing battle with a chemically enhanced scientist in a wrestling ring next to a giant shark aquarium (Lord only knows what the developers were smoking when they came up with that, but I think I want some).

When 'Splosion Man gets it right, it offers some of the finest reflex-based platforming this side of Sonic the Hedgehog. The good ones mind you, not Sonic Unleashed. No sir, 'Splosion Man is much better than that.

Katie Cunningham explores the problems with gaming's feminine side here are games for people who T like football, for people who like puzzles and for people who like shoot-

ing aliens/monsters/other people in the face. Then there are games for girls.

A quick online search for girl games reveals results such as 'Dress Up Games, Cooking Games, Makeover Games, Fashion Games, Celebrity Games'. What exactly is a celebrity game? Put simply, it’s another dress-up game with another plastic doll. They are intensely dull, with no objective other than dress the doll/celebrity, undress it, and dress it again.

This isn’t simply an online issue. Go to GAME and look at their Girls' Bestsellers: ‘Diva Girls: Ballerina’ or ‘Girls Life: Sleepover Party’. These games don’t get reviewed or even advertised. It’s a wonder they sell at all, and the evidence of them sitting on shelves forever suggests that they don’t. Then again they’re so cheaply made that selling a few pays for them all.

Many of these so-called ‘bestsellers’ are quickly churned out in terrifying numbers in the hope that some wannabe princess will stumble upon it and bash their unfortunate parent about the head with the case

until it is purchased for them. On the few occasions when they are publicised, it’s because they use new technology, not because they’ve got new ideas.

One example of this is Nintendogs.

The primary focus of the advertising was the voice communication technology.

'Tired of shouting at your real dog? Yell at a fake one instead!' The quality of the actualy gameplay was unsurprisingly glossed over. Wii Fit is another example of moving the focus from gameplay to gadgetry, one which as much as possible avoids admitting the fact that it is a computer game.

This emphasis on the physical technology alongside the commercial equivalent of carpet-bombing isn’t all to do with making a quick buck off a few unfortunate grandmothers stuck at Christmas (although that motivation is certainly present). Clearly there is a distinct lack of understanding of the girl gaming market, or whether such a market even exists. The corporate assumption is that gaming remains very much a male medium, so when companies make good games they aim them at guys, so girls aren’t interested, so companies make all good games for guys, and the vicious cycle continues ever on.

It’s not just the female side of gaming that suffers from this stereotyping. Take a look how the majority of female char-

acters are portrayed in games: either they will be on the sidelines, wearing next to nothing, or they’ll be the main character, wearing next to nothing. Lara Croft and her two companions will forever be the definitive example of this. Clearly there is another assumption at work here, that a little polygonal T & A will make a man instantly reach for his wallet.

It would be rather sweeping to say that the entire games industry is like this. There is hope yet. Mirror’s Edge and Portal both featured female main characters that did not have their breasts inflated just short of popping. Both games were popular and critically well received, with innovative gameplay and intriguing storylines. Rhianna Pratchett, award-nominated writer and former games journalist (and daughter of Terry Pratchett), wrote the script for Mirror’s Edge; there’s clearly interest in good games with compelling female protagonists in them. So why aren’t there more?

The simple answer is that the games industry remains relatively shortsighted when it comes to profits, content in assuming that girls want dress-up dolls and play interactive aerobics and that guys are going to buy something because there’s a grotesquely proportioned girl in a bikini draped on the front cover.

Bit of a foodie, maybe a fashionista? Express yourself lifestyle.studentnewspaper@googlemail.com

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

Lifestyle 21

Little Miss How-To

Caitlin McDonald remembers the sparkle and glamour of the late Lee Alexander McQueen THE CAREER of the late, great Alexander McQueen spanned almost a quarter of a century and saw him rise from Savile

Row apprentice to “l’enfant terrible” of the London, and indeed global, fashion scene.

After graduating from Central St Martin’s at the same time as many of the Young British Artists of the 90s, McQueen’s designs soon became the talk of London town which resulted in him dressing celebrities as diverse as Björk, Gwyneth Paltrow, Michelle Obama and Kate Moss. In fact, after Kate’s very public

fall from grace in 2005, McQueen showed his support for the model in a typically outspoken way – by wearing a T-shirt emblazoned with “We love you Kate” on his spring/summer 2006 walk-out, before using her floating hologram to close the show for his next collection, the interestingly-named “The Widows of Culloden”.

Right, so that’ll be the follow-up to “The Highland Rape”, then. His spring/summer 2010 collection was pure couture theatre, featuring psychedelic Maldives-inspired reptilian dresses, gravity-defying hair and ankle-breaking bejewelled shoes, as worn by the doyenne of performance fashion herself Lady Gaga. Who would have thought that scaly 12-inch-high lobster claws would become this year’s most coveted must-have?

Credit must also go to Alexander McQueen for giving the great British public "low-rise jeans" (the less offensive cousin of his “bumsters”)… and, inadvertently, builders bum, tramp stamps and muffin tops...hmm.

His silk skull-print scarves, too, struck a chord with fashionistas the world over – both the real thing and the predictable Primark imitations flew off the shelves three years ago.

No stranger to controversy,

McQueen always liked to experiment, breaking boundaries in the process and working with choreographer Michael Clark and stylist Katy England. In 1998, just two years after being appointed head designer at Givenchy, his autumn show caused a stir at London Fashion Week in more ways than one; not only did he create fashion on the runway as two car-painting robots graffitied a virginal white dress in splashes of black and neon yellow (years ahead of the Citroen Picasso adverts), he also sent American athlete and double amputee Aimee Mullins down the catwalk on a pair of intricately carved wooden leg boots.

In fact, Alexander McQueen can’t even escape drama after his tragic death – the Kansas-hailing hate-mongering cult of the Westboro Baptist Church have, unbelievably, already got plans to picket his funeral.

GOD SAVE MCQUEEN: A sampling of the designer's finest collections including his infamous 'Lobster Claw' shoes.

HEALTH TIP OF THE WEEK: Eat at least two fish meals per week. The evidence is strong that the oils in darker types of fish, such as salmon, tuna, mackerel and herring, are beneficial for the heart and brain and may even lower risk of cancer.

When In Rome (or something like it) Gusto Restaurant and Bar

Zucca Cafe and Restaurant





D

Z

eceptively small from the outside, Gusto (located on George Street), turns out to be a spacious area with an abundance of seating and even a second level.

They serve a delectable selection of rustic Italian fare, along with some surprisingly innovative twists.

Upon entering, one is struck with the classic vibe of the place; high ceilings, dimmed lighting and ornate chandeliers all contribute to give the place a luxurious feel. However, it is the welcoming staff who immediately make you feel at home. Despite initial perceptions, Gusto is not trying to be a stiff ‘high-class’ restaurant; its opulent style, authentic food and smooth music generate an attractive ambiance. As the evening progressed the restaurant became increasingly full, pulling in a diverse crowd of diners from all ages.

The specials of the menu were enthusiastically reiterated to us by our server. In particular, the restaurant is known for its traditional Italian pizzas and delicious meat dishes.

The adventurous patron can opt for a pizza topped with Peking duck, a remarkably popular dish. While more

At Gusto Resaturant, a big pizza pie spells amore traditional diners can elect for the wide selection of traditional pizzas and pastas available.

I started with fritto misto, a collection of deep fried fish, and followed with the, 10oz fillet char-grilled steak.

The meal was simple, uncomplicated and excellent; the steak was juicy, tender and succulent.

The quality of the food speaks for itself with no uneccesary accoutrements. To finish off this treat, I tried the calzone desert with mascarpone cheese and nutella. Although a seemingly peculiar idea, the creation turned out to be simply delectable.

On the downside, the average student cannot expect to be dining at Gusto often, with an average meal costing around £30 per head. As an added bonus however, they also offer a Healthy Living menu, so anyone hoping to boost thier vitamin intake or get into thier summer swimming gear can still enjoy a meal out with friends.

However, the entire experience is appropriate as a treat or for a special occasion, being exactly what one hopes for in an exceptional meal; high quality food, stylish surroundings and a lively atmosphere.

Maya Barfield Marks

ucca sits adjoining the Lyceum Theatre, most people dining there are pre-theatre eaters. The expectation of their clientèle on a special evening out is high and Zucca delivers that flawlessly.

When I arrived at 6.15pm, I was obviously one of the first. Luckily I spotted some fantastic looking cheeses at the deli counter and dug right in, sampling the best mainland Europe had to offer.

The menu is not too large but still varied, with a fair amount of vegetarian dishes that certainly do not look boring: beetroot and dolcelatte risotto would have been my choice if I were not such a meat lover. My braised pork and vegetable terrine mixed the bold and distinctive Italian flavours with English through the addition of a pear and apple chutney.

The grilled polenta with sautéed

mushrooms, leeks and rocket, was milder than I was expecting but did feel comforting and home-made.

We had to try Zucca’s signature dish: potato gnocchi cooked with duck confit and pistachios. It looked plain but tasted rich – I imagined it to be very authentic. Warm, countryside flavours were spruced up by plenty of truffle oil.

Our other main, braised shoulder of lamb with mushrooms and pancetta was also delicious. Perfectly cooked meat in a wine-based sauce over extremely smooth mashed potato: it seemed we’d chosen the best of Italian comfort food.

Generous portions meant we were feeling stuffed, so we settled for the lighter dessert options of grapefruit panna cotta and ice cream.

Zucca serves delicious Italian food, and it’s location being close to Central Area and Lothian Road makes it a perfect place for a date night or dinner with friends, as the prices are reasonable coming to about £15 a head.

Natalya Wells

With Zucca Cafe and Restaurant la vita e dolce

Puzzles

Confucius say:

Puzzles

The Student Crossword #17

Solutions

Sudoku is a logic-based number-placement puzzle. The objective is to fill the 9×9 grid so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3×3 boxes (also called blocks or regions) contains the digits from 1 to 9 only once.

Hitori #17

7. Mouth organ (9) 8. Wash lightly (5) 14. Roman garments (5) 16. Rivet (5) 18. Locomotive (4,5) 20. Cleansing agent (9) 22. Investigate (8)

26. Grownups (6) 27. Prolonged pain (5) 29. Communion table (5) 30. Coffee Shop (4) 31. Acquire through merit (4)

SUDOKU

The object of Hitori is to eliminate numbers by shading in the squares such that remaining cells do not contain numbers that appear more than once in either a given row or column. Filled-in cells cannot be horizontally or vertically adjacent, although they can be diagonally adjacent. The remaining un-filled cells must form a single component (i.e there must be no isolated numbers)

CROSSWORD

HITORI

9. Severe mental disorder (13) 10. Flee (3) 11. Keeps (7) 12. Many (4) 13. Where the heart is (4) 15. Borders (5) 17. Suit makers (7) 19. Young boy or girl (5) 21. Title of a knight (3) 23. Dry red Spanish wine (5) 24. Graceful (7) 25. The Queen’s birds (5) 27. Continuous dull pain (4) 28. Couple (4) 30. Intrepidity (7) 32. Belonging to us (3) 33. Fireproof drapery (6,7)

1. Moving stairway (9) 2. Bedding (5) 3. Emperor of Russia (4) 4. Clean (8) 5. Nosy (6) 6. Finishes (4)

Wise man never play leapfrog with unicorn."

Sudoku #17

ACROSS

DOWN

“

THE EDINBURGH Charity Fashion Show 2010 sponsored by Citylets is set to be a surrealist spectacle of magical reality! The committee and I are all very excited about the forthcoming event, and having raised nearly a quarter of a million pounds over the last six years, ECFS 2010 is determined to increase this figure and to raise as much money as possible for our three charities: Marie Curie, Poppy Scotland and Scottish Association for Mental Health.

With thirty striking student models showcasing the best of the fashion world, magic being performed by Mr Drummond Money-Coutts, dancing and both a live and silent auction, ECFS 2010 promises to be a fabulous night of entertainment for the discerning fashionista, the smart city slicker, and everyone in between.

For more information go to

www.edinburghcharityfashionshow.com

And for more pictures from the chairty launch night go to Edinburgh’s premier website for all things night club at www.gambitlive.com

Pictures are courtesy of Milo from gambitlive; the online nightlife commmunuty you should be a member of, if you aren't already!

Got your eye on the ball? Email sport@studentnewspaper.org

Tuesday February 16 2010 studentnewspaper.org

Sport 23

Nicolet retains karting lead

Injury Time

TAKES A LOOK AT THE WORLD OF SPORT

Matt Holland navigates the twists and turns of Raceland as Richard Crozier triumphs in the braking zone Crozier dived to his right in order to cover Munro. Munro doubled back and slipped up the inside, but taking the tighter line gave him a poor run onto the back straight.

Crozier was on hand to punish this as he pulled back alongside and retook the position at the bottom of the hill.

As they came into view on the approach to the final corner Munro was now leading. With Crozier all over the back of him, he successfully defended his position up the inside of the first hairpin. Thinking Crozier would be further back; Munro took a normal racing line into the second hairpin

and was surprised to find Crozier’s kart lunging up the inside. Seeing an opening, he had dived from a long way back and proceeded to barge the hapless Munro out of the way. It was a desperate move that had only just succeeded. The wind had been taken from Munro’s sails and he fell back by well over a second but once he found his rhythm again the gap began to close, but the laps were running out.

Munro was reeling off lap records, but ran out of laps to do anything about Crozier’s lead. A 0:59.991 on the last lap would be his consolation.

It was the new lap record for Raceland

in these karts, no mean feat considering it was a January evening on a very slippery track. Ross Mcauley completed the podium, holding off a late challenge from Scott Craw and Pierre Nicolet.

In the trophy presentation, the top three were justifiably looking very pleased with themselves, having come out on top in what was perhaps one of the most competitive and close fought rounds in the short history of the EUMSC Karting Championship. Round five of the EUMSC Karting Championship will take place on the 24th February at Xtreme Karts in Falkirk.

PEDAL TO THE METAL: Raceland was the scene of the latest karting event

MATT HOLLAND

ROUND FOUR of the Edinburgh Univesity Motorsports Club Karting Championship was held last week at Raceland. The event was won by veteran Richard Crozier who displayed his aggressive racing style superbly in the final. But this performance was not enough to challenge Pierre Nicolet’s championship lead, who remains on top of the table following a spectacular evening of racing.

The heats proved to be exciting viewing, and were dominated by Richard Crozier, Ian Munro and Scott Craw, who duly took the top three slots on the grid for the final as a result. Calum Hughes produced some inspired drives from the back, but he never quite made it to the front, while Pierre Nicolet, Ross Mcauley, Vicki Rutherford and Antti Makela generally completed the podium positions.

Driving standards were also exemplary, especially given the weather conditions, the only major incident being a heavy coming together between Adam Corlett and a stricken Matt Holland.

The race started cleanly, with almost everyone holding station in their position, although Munro missed the apex on the hairpin and Craw had a look up the inside. A daring dive from Munro at the next hairpin made up for this lapse in concentration, but by this time Crozier was leading by over four kart lengths. The chase began.

The laps flew by and each time the leaders raced passed the watching masses in the pitlane Munro was closer and closer. He had the magnets on, and was reeling off the fastest laps with seemingly little effort. The two leaders were well in front of the chasing pack by this point, led by an inspired Ross Mcaulay who had fought his way past Craw. Everything was set for a titanic battle for the lead. On the fifth lap, Crozier slid sideways on the penultimate corner, losing momentum as they headed down the straight before the last corner, allowing Munro to close right up. There was nothing between them and as they exited turn one Munro made his move. He moved to the inside for the first hairpin, and Crozier just managed to hold on around the outside. They continued side by side to the second hairpin, and

Podium places for Edinburgh cyclists Allan Love reports from the BUCS Cyclocross Championships A STRONG performance by some of Edinburgh University's cyclists saw them come away with two podium finishes at the recent BUCS Cyclocross Championships in Wolverhampton. Anne Ewing finished as the third best female with Charlie Billington, Owen Jeffries and Peter Sammon securing thirdplaced male team.

Cyclocross is the road and mountain bike rider's winter activity, which involves racing around a short circuit littered with obstacles such as steep climbs, stairs and hurdles which require the cyclists to hop off their bikes and shoulder them before running

through the section. Thanks to the weather the courses tend to be muddy, icy or snow covered presenting many different challenges. Races last around one hour for senior men making them, in cycling terms, short and very intense.

This is the first time the Edinburgh University Cycling Club (EUCC) have entered a team in the BUCS Cyclocross Championships after a good season in the Scottish Cyclocross Series for Billington, Jeffries and Sammon. Unlike the Scottish courses, the Wolverhampton course was flatter and less technical, meaning strength and fitness where going to be important factors. The course featured a succes-

sion of twisty singletrack sections, followed by some short steep decents and climbs. A long grassy slog brought the riders to a challenging carry up a steep bank, before they hurtled back down and through the muddy field and back to the singletrack.

To help split the field the start was a sprint across the soft playing fields before the singletrack. As the BUCS Championship was combined with another senior race, the start was viscous as everyone jostled for position. Jeffries and Sammon managed to start strongly, holdingpositions near the front with Billington and Allan Love caught up behind.

The field quickly spread out over the next few laps with latter two taking up positions at the back of the field. Jeffries and Sammon started to pay for their excursionsm the start, with Billington moving ahead of them to take 11th place. Their final placings were enough to earn them third spot.

Ewing meanwhile started strongly and held onto third place throughout her race to get on the women's podium, a terrific result considering this was only her second cyclocross race.

The next big event is the BUCS Mountain Bike Championships at Ae Forest in March where EUCC hope to secure more podium finishes.

Money, Money, Money.

POOR OLD Notts County.

Well, they’re certainly old and are now very much poor. Six months ago their fans were convinced that their club was on the up.

They would be in the Championship in five years with the Premiership to follow.

Munto Finance was the consortium responsible for the takeover deal and they even managed to persuade Sven-Goran Eriksson to come on board. Fast forward to last week and the club has now been bought for the grand total of one British pound.

The club’s new owner, Ray Trew, is saddled with debts totaling £1.5m.

According to Peter Trembling, the former chairman, “The plans were right, the dream was right but unfortunately the money wasn’t there and that’s left the club in dire financial straits.”

Now I’m no expert but surely the first thing you need to take a club from League Two to the Premier League is money?

It seems to me that the consortium was blinkered by the prospect of taking the world’s oldest football club to the higher echelons of English football.

Now the club sits outside the automatic promotion places and will surely struggle to continue to pay the wages of the players brought in at the start of the season. It seems Sol Campbell was right when he left so abruptly, claiming that things were not as they appeared. Things have worked out well for the former England defender as he finds himself back at Arsenal but whether Notts County enjoy such good fortune remains to be seen.

Despite the current economic climate, Portsmouth claim that there are two parties interested in completing a takeover. The phrase ‘you’ve got so much money that you don’t know what to do with it’ comes to mind. If there was ever a suitable time to buy a football club, that time is not now and it certainly doesn’t come in the shape of a club that has lurched from one crisis to another.

With debts of £60m and relegation from the Premier League looking increasingly likely, the investors would be better off just burning their money. If the club do drop down a division, the chances of them surviving are surely slim. They still have some big earners among their squad who would need to be dispensed with but that would of course weaken the team. The replacements brought in would be at a fraction of the cost and probably a fraction of the quality.

It would be no surprise to see Pompey remain in the lower tiers of English football for some years to come. The fans would do well to remember the days of the FA Cup win and a top half finish in the league. Days like those won’t be seen on the South coast for some time.

Martin Domin

Sport

studentnewspaper.org Tuesday February 16 2010

Karting Around

Matt Holland reports on the Edinburgh Univesity Motorsports Club Karting Championship P23

Edinburgh squash Napier

Hugh Masters watched Edinburgh's men see off near neighbours Napier in a thrilling encounter and the margin of a lead rarely straying beyond two points. At 6-5 down, Tennant produced a sensational drop volley to tie it up; yet this failed to drive him on and, following a string of errors arising from Tennnant’s backhand smash, Patterson claimed the second game 11-7. Although Tennant’s backhand smash appeared to be costing him dearly again at the early stages of the third game, his bravery and sheer signal of intent in continuously taking the ball on the volley put Patterson under immense pressure. Ultimately, pressure

Patterson failed to handle and the third game went the way of Tennant and Edinburgh to lead 2-1. With Tennant in complete control of the pivotal 4th game, the fatigue of Patterson was being reflected in the increasing number of errors. Tennant took full advantage of the apparent weariness of his opponent with effective variation in the direction of his strokes. Yet, put on the brink of victory, Tennant squandered a number of match balls with some errors leaving the crowd taken aback such was his consistency up until this

point. The tiring Patterson took full advantage and set up a deciding game.

With no player seizing ascendency early on in the decider, it looked as though Tennant may just push on following a devastating return down the line at 6-6. Yet the game meandered towards a climax and finally reached 9-9, which became 10-9 and game ball in favour of Napier’s Patterson. In the height of pressure, Tennant again displayed unquestionable resilience in another return winner before going on to take the final game decider 12-10.

A thrilling and deserved victory which could have been more comfortable had earlier opportunities not been spurned.

The final match saw Rik Keating comfortably beat an inconsistent James Mackay of Napier. Edinburgh’s Keating, without having to do anything spectacular, never looked remotely in danger; simply using his consistency and forcing the inevitable errors from Mackay. With frustration overpowering Mackay’s game, he was resigned to an 11-5, 11-7, 11-7 defeat; Keating confirming a 4-1 victory for Edinburgh.

JAMES POPE

BOTH BRAGGING rights and a place in the next round of the SUS trophy were at stake last week as the men's squash team took on local rivals Napier. After a match full of twists and turns, Edinburgh emerged victorious by a 4-1 scoreline.

First up to try and claim an early advantage was Edinburgh’s Dan Ward and Napier’s Kevin Moran and it was Napier, through Moran, who gained the upper hand. Dominating points from the offset, Ward was unable to match Moran in his shot-making; ultimately, Ward’s play was very narrow allowing Moran to creating angles at will.

With the first game passing in Moran’s favour witha scoreline of 11-2, the second followed a similar pattern. Whilst Ward’s defence was a mere means of slenderly staying in a point, Moran’s was more purposeful allowing him to gradually build his way back into the point and ultimately finish it off, taking the second game with the help of some supreme touch and control. Chances of a comeback seemed improbable at this stage, with Moran gaining utter control of the T; the sheer disguise in his shots proving too much for Ward who succumbed to an 11-2 final game.

Meanwhile, Nick Roberts of Edinburgh overcame his counterpart Coll Brodie with consummate ease, racing to a highly impressive 11-0, 11-1, 11-2 victory. Roberts utterly overpowered Brodie and secured a much needed victory to keep the tie level at 1-1.

Nigel Anthony of Edinburgh came through a tight encounter with Fraser McDonald to give the home side the edge. Having comfortably won the first game 11-5, frustration crept into his game as a few dubious let calls were upheld in Napier’s favour allowing McDonald to square things up at 11. The early stages of the third looked bleak for Anthony who’s frustration threatened to take this tie beyond him. His mental resilience prevailed in the end however as he sealed a 11-5, 10-12, 11-5, 13-11 victory and, more importantly, put Edinburgh 2-1 up.

With Edinburgh just one victory away from sealing the tie, even more was riding on the meeting of the two number one players: Iain Tennant of Edinburgh and Lyal Patterson of Napier. Tennant’s drop shot, obviously a vital part of the armoury, was executed seemingly with ease straight away as he took control of the early proceedings.

A poor return by Patterson proved to be the difference in a tight first game, providing Tennant with game ball and the opening game 12-10. The second was a similar story- closely contested

DEMOLITION JOB: Edinburgh's men on their way to a resounding win over Napier