Tuesday December 1 2009 | Week 11
The Student celebrates the best and worst of the noughties
Last issue of the decade!
Comment
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» p8
lifestyle
» p16
film
» p17
music
» p18
tv
» p20
Tech
» p21
S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2009 S i n c e 1887
T h e U K ' s O ld e st S T ud en t N ews pa p er
Have you got any ID for that?
SDL plans Edinburgh march
EUSA urges students to oppose 'na��������� ïve' SNP proposals
Students encouraged to join anti-fascist protest
Neil Pooran
Julia Cobb
Guy Rughani
The Scottish Government has revived its controversial policy of raising the drinking age for under-21s buying alcohol in off-licences. Under the proposals, local councils would be able to raise the off-sales drinking age independently of the Scottish Parliament. The Scottish National Party’s plan of rolling out the scheme across Scotland suffered a crushing defeat in the Scottish Parliament last year, and it later shelved another plan to let councils and police influence the drinking age. 18 to 21-year-olds would still be able to drink in pubs and clubs if councils were to implement the scheme. The long-awaited ‘Alcohol Bill’ has angered student leaders who thought that the SNP had ditched the plans altogether. EUSA Vice-President for Services James Wallace said: “The SNP are extremely naïve if they think that raising the drinking age to 21 will improve the drinking problem and culture exhibited in Scotland. Telling those that can vote and die for their country that they are somehow too incompetent to drink over dinner is absurd, but don’t worry because the SNP allows you to drink in clubs or even if you go out for dinner! “Under these proposals the age to buy alcohol could be different in Glasgow to Edinburgh, it will have people going south from Gretna Green to buy their wine, and it is quite frankly ridiculous. “I urge all students to oppose this.” Other aspects of the ‘Alcohol Bill’ include a ‘minimum pricing’ scheme, which intends to make the cheapest off-licence booze more expensive. Scottish Health Secretary Nicola Sturgeon said the bill, if passed, would help to tackle Scotland’s culture of alcohol abuse. She said: “The Alcohol Bill represents a once in a generation chance to turn around Scotland’s drink problems. “The 3,000 deaths, 42,000 hospital stays and 110,000 GP visits linked to alcohol annually are causing misery for families and communities, burdening our public services and sapping our economic potential.
“But simply acknowledging we have a problem is not enough. Now is the time for action. These targeted measures get to the heart of the problem - particularly addressing the rock-bottom pricing of low-grade ciders, lagers and spirits favoured by problem drinkers. No-one can seriously argue that selling strong drink for pocket money prices isn’t fuelling heavy consumption. “The eyes of the world are on Scotland to show that we have the courage to be bold for the sake of public health.
I would urge everyone to unite behind this Bill.” She said the duty on licensing boards to consider raising the offsales age to 21 would ‘develop local solutions to local problems.’ The bill faces a rough reception in the Scottish Parliament, with opposition parties refusing to back parts of the legislation. Scottish Labour leader Iain Gray has said the proposals for a 40p charge per unit of alcohol will fail to
tackle alcohol abuse and may be illegal under European competition law. When similar proposals were put forward earlier this year, councillors on Edinburgh City Council’s licensing board were reluctant to move ahead with them. SNP councillor Norman Work told The Student in March that there was ‘no chance of raising the drinking age in areas where a lot of students live.’ news@studentnewspaper.org
The Scottish Defence League (SDL), an anti-Islamic group, is planning to hold a demonstration in Edinburgh in the New Year, drawing heavy criticism from the anti-fascist group Unite Against Fascism. A spokesman for the Edinburgh branch of Unite Against Fascism (UAF), who work most notably against the rise of the BNP told The Student: “We will call a demonstration once we know where the SDL will be [hosting their rally].” When asked how the UAF plans to drum up support for its counter-march and its anti-SDL activities, the spokesperson responded: “The UAF supports a variety of techniques: meetings, education, intervention in elections, mass leafleting, petitioning and demonstrations wherever the fascists appear. The key point is mass participation.” The SDL has declared its November 14 march in Glasgow, which drew about 50 participants, a success, despite the fact that SDL marchers were far outnumbered by participants in a countermarch, celebrating the diversity of the country, who numbered around 1,500. The Scotland United rally was supported across the board by trade unions, politicians and faith groups. Amongst the attendees was Deputy First Minister Nicola Sturgeon. Police were out in force during the events in Glasgow, with hundreds of officers, supported by dozens of vehicles and a helicopter, ensuring that the SDL supporters were surrounded. Strathclyde Police’s Assistant Chief Constable Fiona Taylor declared the operation ‘successful.’ It is expected that any similar demonstrations in Edinburgh would also be heavily policed. The SDL is a branch of the English Defence League (EDL), and persistently claims that it only opposes Muslim extremism, not Islam in general. The EDL is known to have connections with several far-right groups and with football hooligans. Continued on page 5 »
Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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What’s in this issue NEWS »p1-5
» Coming to a University near you...
UNION BARS FACE CLOSURE p4
Bristol closes student union bar as profits tumble
HAVE YOU GOT BALLS? p5
Josh King reports on controversial 'male support groups'
COMMENT »p8-9 HAGING IN THERE p8 Dan Nicholson-Heap argues in favour of hung parliaments
ARTS&FEATURES »p11-21
BEDLAM'S FRESH TALENT p14
Culture spends an afternoon with EUTC's new faces
NOUGHTIE CELEBS p16
Shan Bertelli on the celebrity fads of the decade
CULT CLASSIC ON A SHOESTRING? p17 Lyle Brennan watches Oren Peli's budget horror Paranormal Activity
MUSIC OF THE DECADE p18
Music charts the rise and fall and rise again of some of the noughties biggest trends
POINTLESS BUT DEFINITELY IMPRESSIVE p20 Harrison Kelly loses his virginity with Stephen Fry
SPORT »p23-24
Harrison Kelly
POPULAR BBC TV game show ‘The Weakest Link’ will be on campus at the University of Edinburgh on Tuesday December 1. The show’s producers are holding open auditions for new contestants at Teviot from 11am to 5:30pm in the Lounge Room just off the Library Bar. A spokesperson for the BBC told The Student: “Open auditions are being held at various Scottish universities over the next few weeks as part of a wider audition tour across the country.” Students will face a panel from the show and be filmed answering questions. Successful candidates will then be contacted over the next few weeks if they are to go through to the next round of auditions. The focus on Scottish Universities follows the decision by the broadcaster to move the production of the show to its Glasgow studios. The BBC Spokesperson noted this was “part of a BBC scheme to move productions out of London to better represent the whole of the UK.” In a speech last year Jana Bennett, Head of BBC Vision said that by 2016, ‘Newsnight’, ‘Question Time’ and ‘The One Show’ will all be moving to Pacific Quay, Glasgow with a focus on children’s, comedy, entertainment, drama and factual programmes. ‘The Weakest Link’, which will celebrate ten years in the UK next year, and has been hosted throughout by the formidable Anne Robinson, features quick fire general knowledge questions. Contestants are asked to vote out who they think is the ‘weakest link’ at the end of each round, with only one person going home with any money at the end of the show. There will be little chance of clearing student loans however with many winners taking home between one and two thousand pounds, the show hardly has the financial incentive of the Celador ITV programme, “Who Wants to Be a Millionaire?”
KARATE KIDS p23
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Brief
IN
Emma Brock on the success of the university karate club
MRS ROBINSON: Heaven holds a place for those who play
Edinburgh still loves Trainspotting
p15 The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org
RESEARCH INTO film rentals has shown that Britons are loyal to their hometowns. Edinburgh residents are most likely to watch Trainspotting, while Mancunians love a bit of Steve Coogan in 24 Hour Party People. Those residing in Sheffield were the most likely to rent the Full Monty. The most rented film of 2009 overall was box office smash Slumdog Millionaire, followed by Burn After Reading and Taken. Of the genres, drama came out top, with comedy a close second. Worryingly - or wonderfully? - Abba explosion Mamma Mia! was the most purchased DVD.” CK
Put them behind 'baas'
Magdelen renamed
LONDON LOUTS have been condemned by the RSPCA as ‘stupid’ and ‘irresponsible’ for pushing a trolley carrying a live sheep into an Asda store in the south east of the city. Andrew Kirby, the RSPCA investigator, said that the “stunt would have terrified this poor sheep and caused it great stress by removing it from its flock.” Staff at the store said that they were “shocked to discover that a poor sheep had been wheeled into the supermarket.” “We have tracked down the sheep’s owner” said Andrew Kirby, “but we can’t return it to its flock for six days because of restrictions on the movement of livestock.”
‘GRYFFINDOR’ IS the new name of the Junior Common Room ( JCR) committee at Oxford’s Magdalen College. Although the college fellows are unlikely to agree, the JCR has fully adopted the change and will be referred to as Gryffindor in all official documents. Matthew Shribman, who proposed the motion, said that “Magdalen College embodies the values of courage, daring, nerve and chivalry”, the characteristics of Gryffindor house in the Harry Potter novels. The vote requires JCR President Laurence Mills to contact other Oxford colleges informing them that they should rename their common rooms Slytherin, Hufflepuff and Ravenclaw. GR
GR
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News 3
Edinburgh students graduate online Second Life ceremony deemed a great success E-Learning MSc holds tutorials on Twitter Harrison Kelly FOR THE first time ever students graduating from the University of Edinburgh have been able to attend their graduations online. Virtual ceremonies have been held through the Second Life Web Community, for graduates of MSc in E-Learning, a Masters programme delivered fully online by the University. The event took place last Thursday with four virtual graduates logging in from as far away as Tokyo, Paris, Devon and Fife. The 21 guests at the ceremony included university staff, current students of the course and visitors from universities in the US, Oxford and Ulster. Live streams from McEwan Hall were shown on the web and students were able to download robes for their avatars to wear. After the ceremony students were even invited to meet in a virtual bar to catch up with course
VIRTUAL INSANITY? We don't recognise this leafy. blue skied scene from Edinburgh. Nice virtual kilt, though. friends. Dr Sian Bayne, a senior lecturer on the course said that online graduations were a ‘really good solution’ for people who for whatever reason could not attend the ceremony in person.
“There is a growing niche for high quality teaching online and distance learning. These virtual ceremonies are a fantastic idea and there is a lot of potential for more online ceremonies.”
University of Ulster visitor Kerri Macchi fully supported the idea, telling The Student: “I think it is fantastic and something we should be doing at the University of Ulster” The Masters programme has
already broken new ground with Twitter tutorials, online learning and new forms of digitally-enabled assessment. Youenn Leborgne, a student on the course, said “Holding the ceremony in Second Life is a great idea, especially on a distance learning course. This kind of innovation is what I’ve loved about studying at Edinburgh.” Other students were clearly pleased with the event, which was set up by Fiona Littleton of the department. Wendy Jenkins was somewhat overwhelmed with the experience: “Thank you, this really made my day and the whole thing seem real, I’m choking up in real life - thanks for setting this up guys! It made the day very special!” However Dr Bayne was quick to point out that virtual ceremonies would never replace real life graduation ceremonies at the University but were simply a way of opening access to students who wanted to attend. Graduations are constantly oversubscribed and getting extra tickets for family and friends is proving more difficult with the increase in student numbers. It is hoped that live video streaming of graduations online will give students and friends a more authentic experience if they cannot attend in person. news@studentnewspaper.org
Student loans chaos set to continue NUS President brands situation 'disgraceful' Jordan Campbell ONLY ONE in five disabled students have received vital funding for specialised equipment and helpers needed at university due to the current crisis within the Student Loans Company. Figures released by the National Association of Disability Practitioners reveal that only 3,294 applications have been processed out of a total of 15,371 applications that the SLC has received. The government allocates £90 million to disabled students every year and can provide disabled students with financial aid of up to £25,000 a year. The SLC took over direct responsibility from the government for aid to disabled students for the first time this year. The SLC claim that the process is complex, with medical records required from claimants. However, campaigners claim that at the current rate it could take 75 weeks before every disabled student receives their funding, by which point many may have been forced to drop out. It seems the difficulties faced in processing applications from disabled students is only a small part of what has now become a major crisis
for the SLC. Government statistics revealed last week indicate that the SLC has distributed £43 million less than this time last year in funding. This comes at a time when there has been a significant increase in student numbers and increases in those applying for grants. With the end of term now approaching at universities across the
12,077
SLC applications from disabled students unprocessed
UK, thousands of students are still waiting to receive their loans. A BBC survey found that four out of five universities in England have had to pay out more money to students from their hardship funds than ever before. The main reason cited was to deal with students still waiting on loans. The survey stated that on average, universities have given out a total of £44,000 to students to help towards costs such as rent, electricity bills and food. Such funds however are limited, and intended for use in exceptional circumstances only. On its website, the University of Edinburgh stresses that hardship funds are “extremely limited”, and “not intended – or sufficient enough – to be a student’s main
source of income.” The government has ordered an independent enquiry into the whole debacle that will publish it findings before Christmas. However, opposition parties have continued to expresses their indignation at how the SLC has performed. Shadow Education Minister David Willetts MP said: “Ministers urgently need to get a grip on the crisis so that students are not forced to drop out and those that start university in January get their money on time.” The SLC came under much criticism earlier this month when it was revealed that many top executives within the organization had received handsome bonuses over the past 12 months. In response to the latest figures, National Union of Students President, Wes Streeting said: “This is a staggering amount of money and reveals how big the problem is. Students can’t get by without that money. It’s disgraceful that so many disabled students are waiting for their allowances.’ A SLC spokesperson issued an apology to any disabled students still waiting on loans, stating: “We recognise that the work is more complex than general loan application processing, and so over the last two months we have doubled the size of the team working on the cases.” news@studentnewspaper.org
SLC CHAOS: Don't bother filling these in. You won't get any money.
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News
Student union bars on the decline Closures in the face of competition Universities profit from healthier alternatives
OH MY, THIS ORANGE JUICE HAS GONE RIGHT TO MY HEAD: Bristol University replace booze for fruit juice behind the bar. opened the space as a popular juice bar, with an astounding turn-over of £200,000 a year. This trend is being
“
Students are drinking less and being forced to work more." Richard Budden, NUS
Staffordshire University v2.0 Uni puts 100,000 documents online in green effort Harrison Kelly STAFFORDSHIRE UNIVERSI TY has this week enhanced its green credentials with the announcement that it is putting 100,000 documents online. The University is hoping to increase efficiency by using Version One’s document management and imaging systems to electronically store documents. Authorised staff members will then be able to access them across five different sites at the University. Lynn Coburn, Deputy Finance Director from Staffordshire University said, “Before Version One’s systems, posting remittances was both time-consuming and costly as we’d be sending out 1,500 remittances on pressure-sealed stationery in the firstclass post every month. By sending these remittances electronically, we’re now saving over £6,000 every year as well as helping the environment.” Furthermore, 30,000 purchase invoices each year are now being scanned using a Kodak i1420 scanner,
which are then automatically tagged to the relevant entries and stored in the Version One archive. As all authorised staff can now access these invoices, this has eliminated the need to photocopy, manually circulate and store all paper purchase invoices, thus saving paper, money and freeing up administration time of the finance staff at the university. Staffordshire University and the city of Stoke, where the University is based, was the first city to join up to the 10:10 environmental campaign in the whole of the UK. The University of Edinburgh and EUSA have both signed up to the 10:10 campaign which aims to cut carbon emissions by ten percent by 2010, however both have yet to follow Staffordshire’s green lead in posting documents online on such a large scale. Last year the University of Edinburgh recycled at least 63 percent (1,460 tonnes) of its General Waste and Paper, compared to 56 percent (1,200 tonnes) recycling during 2007-08. The Sustainability Office at Edinburgh has also run the successful ‘Switch and Save’ campaign which aims at reducing wasted energy and increasing efficiency across campus. news@studentnewspaper.org
echoed by Anglia Ruskin University, which converted its bar into a gym. Lisa Pool, Communications Officer and Vice-President of Anglia Ruskin’s student union told The Times that the union conducted focus groups throughout the remodelling process and that “with the increase in tuition fees students are wanting more from the degree and from the university experience, and are drinking less.” In Edinburgh, EUSA recently
lowered drinks prices at union bars, despite having to comply with new licensing laws, which came into effect on September 1st and curb excessive drinking by cracking down on happy hours and pound-a-pint offers at pubs and clubs. Drinks prices must remain the same for a period of 72 hours and promotions which encourage heavy drinking have been banned. EUSA bars have a minimum drink price of
£1.80, with the exception of £1.50 deals at Potterrow. EUSA officials could not be reached for comment as to whether the lowering of prices was an effort to combat low sales numbers.
Such figures thus support claims that more immigrants are using fake student visas to enter the UK and stay on to work full time. This continued trend can be attributed, in part, to overwhelming immigration rates across the board. Footage taken by one immigration officer at Heathrow, and posted on the BBC news website, depicts the sheer scale of those waiting to enter Great Britain. The amount of information needing to be processed inevitably means that some fake ‘students’ go unchecked. Immigration officers have also revealed that a large number of students entering the UK this year had previously been denied access.
Oppenheim has defended the new system, stating that: "The UK Border Agency has 74 visa-issuing posts worldwide, so three cities should not be taken as representative of a global trend.” Defenders of the points-based immigration system also note that it is in a comparative infancy, and that irregularities are likely. Additionally, it is argued that strategies introduced as part of the pointsbased system, such as the biometric ID cards, designed to keep tabs on students once in the UK, may prove more effective once the system is properly
news@studentnewspaper.org
Illegal immigrants using student IDs to enter UK Paul Burch
RECENT INQUIRIES by the BBC under the Freedom of Information Act have revealed a rise in non-EU immigrants using fake student visas to enter the UK. The report follows the introduction of a new points-based immigration system, designed to reduce the numbers of people immigrating to Great Britain. In response to the concerns, the head of the points-based immigration system at the UK border, Jeremy Oppenheim, stated that the number of students entering the UK from abroad was “roughly the same as last year.” However, statistics show a different reality. The recent survey charts the number of student visas issued in the last two years by India and Bangladesh. Between June and August 2008, the cities of Mumbai, New Delhi and Dhaka issued 6,771 student visas. Following the introduction of the new visa system in 2009, the same three cities issued some 19,950 student visas during the same period of time. 2009 has also, however, seen a marked increase in student visas being rejected by British immigration officers, with numbers rising from 3,997 to 6,261.
LEGEND WILSON
COMPETITION FROM off-licenses, student-friendly chain bars and sheer student workload are contributing to a decline in the number of student union bars currently operating in the UK. University bars, the longstanding havens of the beleaguered student seeking a pint, have seen profits halved in the past decade, down to £25 million nationally. Richard Budden, the Vice-President of Union Development at the National Union of Students, recently told The Times that “takings are down 50 percent from ten years ago, students are drinking less and being forced to work more.” In this age of dismal graduate job prospects and increased competition, it is no surprise that many students are choosing to spend their leisure time developing their CVs, not kicking back in the pub. “I hardly ever drink at union bars, only sometimes at Teviot, it’s just not convenient for me, because I live at Pollock. Besides, it’s much cheaper to pre-drink before going out,” says firstyear French and Linguistics student Jenny Cole. Bristol University’s student union recently closed one of its bars and re-
BRISTOL UNIVERSITY
Julia Cobb
established.
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News 5
SDL plans Edinburgh march The windy city Anna MacSwan
DEMO: Protest in Glasgow Continued from front page »
Clashes between the Defence Leagues and UAF are not new. During summer 2009 a demonstration in Birmingham hosted by the EDL erupted into violence and prompted arrests. UAF, which aims to “unite the broadest possible spectrum of society” against the rising threat of the extreme right, have consistently and successfully met Defence League demonstrations with larger counter-protests, recently in Leeds, Newport, Wrexham and Swansea, as well as Glasgow. Upcoming
action is also planned for Nottingham and Harrow. The group has not yet released the date of their proposed Edinburgh march, but has been messaging members of like-minded groups on Facebook to confirm that the march will take place at some point in early 2010. The SDL has previously drawn criticism from Scottish politicians. Bill Aitken, Conservative MSP for Glasgow, told the Evening News: “This is a demonstration that we could well do without. I really do not see any need for this
type of demonstration which is divisive and can in itself stir up trouble.” Unite Against Fascism, which draws a large proportion of its membership from university campuses, has called for student support in their fight against such groups. The group told The Student that: “Students have played a big role in the activities in Scotland and hopefully this will continue.” news@studentnewspaper.org
STRIDES TOWARDS energy sustainability have been made as new technology to make wind power cheaper and more efficient has been developed by scientists at the University of Edinburgh. Researchers at the Institute of Energy Systems have created a new direct drive system which would replace the complex gearboxes currently used in wind turbines. The C-GEN generator is 50 percent lighter than current direct driver systems, cutting down manufacturing and operating costs. The UK’s geographical position gives it more usable wind resources than any other country in Europe, making Britain a prime location for the development of large scale wind turbine farms on and offshore. The low continental shelf of the UK coast is an environment particularly suitable for offshore wind farms, which have less of an environmental impact than onshore farms. Easier maintenance with C-GEN has the potential to solve a major obstacle to widespread use. The University has formed and taken a 17.5 percent stake in a new company NGenTec, to develop wide-
spread commercial use of C-GEN. NGenTec Chairman Derek Shepherd said: “Our technology has the potential to revolutionise the renewable energy industry by making wind power cheaper and more reliable, greatly increasing the efficiency of wind turbines for electricity companies.” The UK government agreed this year to work towards a target of generating 15 percent of its energy supply from renewable sources by 2020, under terms of the EU Energy Directive. news@studentnewspaper.org
FLICKR: AMY DIANNA
University scientists make breakthrough in wind turbine technology
Oxford soc: "Have EUSA coughs up cash you got balls?" Susan Robinson
Controversy surrounds male-only university societies Josh King A RISE in membership of university ‘male support groups’ has sparked controversy south of the border. Groups at Oxford and Manchester have drawn criticism with their detractors alleging that they are simply a front for macho activities and beerdrinking marathons. Supporters, on the other hand, insist such groups are essential as young men struggle to cope with the pressures of being a man in the 21st century. Manchester University’s MENS Society (Masculinity Exploring Networking and Support) has been seen by many as undermining a woman’s right to speak out for equality. At Oxford University¸ the Man Collective – Oxford (MC-O) – has been launched “as a response to the current state of masculinity.” Alex Linsley, 20, founder of MCO, said: “There is so much conflicting
information for men. There is massive confusion as to what being a man means, and how to be a good man. Should you be the sensitive all-caring, perhaps the ‘feminised’ man? Or should you be the hard, take no crap from anybody kind of figure? “Neither of those are particularly useful paradigms. But there are perhaps things we could learn from both perspectives”. Linsley, a student at Merton College, has since admitted that his group initiation –”Have you got balls? Literally. If you have, how does that make you feel?” – has drawn stinging criticism. One critic argued that, considering men already tend to dominate political and economic life, we do not need “much more celebration of masculinity.” Kat Wall, the Oxford University’s student union Vice-President for women, accused Linsley of gender stereotyping but has welcomed the gender debate. Wall hopes that these societies will work with feminist campaigns to facilitate “a discussion forum on the issue of masculinity.” news@studentnewspaper.org
IN AN effort to become more transparent about the distribution of funding for societies, EUSA has released the figures allocated after the first annual meeting of the Societies’ Council Disbursement Committee. Of the fourteen applications made, eleven societies were given a total of £9,783 and most were new applicants. With £13,217 worth of funds still to bid for the committee will meet again this month and applications are still open for societies seeking extra funding for their activities. EUSA has never released these figures previously and this is something that Vice President of Societies and Activities, Camilla Pierry is eager to change. “I am determined that the process becomes much more transparent this year - we’ve always had speculation about favouritism and fairness, and I think that students are genuinely interested in where the money goes. It will hopefully also encourage more societies to apply, as hardly any of them do and there’s still more than half left.” The £23,000 that EUSA has set aside this year is intended to supplement the fundraising already undertaken by societies to help them develop in ways they could not otherwise afford. Capital investments are also made to contribute towards the
cost of large purchases, such as the new projector for the Film Society. Funds have been awarded to a diverse set of societies, from social activities such as the Chess Club and Knitting to campaigning groups and charities such as People & Planet and Nightline. Pierry hopes that pub-
lishing the decisions of the previous meeting will demystify disbursement and increase applications from new societies: "I am fully confident that the process is fair and so want to be more open about it." news@studentnewspaper.org
IN FIGURES: EUSA DISBURSEMENT FUNDING 2009/10 £280 to the Chess Club for new chess clocks and entry fees
£588 to Model United Nations for new banners and conference admin
£1,500 to Children’s Holiday Venture for publicity and volunteer training
£2,094 to Nightline for telephone bills, publicity and office supplies
£270 to the Chinese Students’ Association for a Chinese language teacher and mah-jongg sets
£400 to People & Planet for a bus down to training at the recent G20 protest
£960 to Create Soc / the Knitting Society for materials and speakers for an upcoming event
£300 to the Student Nationalist Association for an upcoming cultural event
£2,389 to the Film Society to pay for half of a new projector
£187 to UNICEF on Campus for publicity and other event costs
£815 to The Journal to buy some new distribution bins
Winter Festival 27 november - 25 january 09
festive events in your unions www.eusa.ed.ac.uk/winter/festival eusa.ed.ac.uk/winter/festival Edinburgh University Students’ Association is a Registered Scottish Charity (No.SCO15800)
Winter Festival
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Comment
Comment
It was acceptable in the noughties With the noughties coming to a close Comment takes a look at five things that dominated the decade... 1. GLOBAL WARMING Is it just us or is it getting hotter? This was the decade that most of us finally came round to the idea that global warming wasn't just the premise for a new Michael Bay action film. And having accepted that this is one disaster Will Smith can't save us from we all went a little bit green. Formerly demonic supermarket chains guilted a nation into abandoning plastic bags for 'bags for life' while Easyjet brought one additional charge you could pay in good conscience, the chance to mysteriously offset your carbon footprint. No more sinking Green Peace boats; however reluctantly governments have been forced to adopt a greener image- even the 'nasty' Conservatives have replaced the less than cuddly torch with an oh so huggable squiggly tree.
2. TERRORISM In this decade queues for airport security got a whole lot longer. Many of us caught the spirit of the sixties in our first taste of anti-war protests. The formidably named 'war on terror' became the unfortunate phrase of the era and split opinion across the world. Almost a decade on, the fear of anthrax coming through your letterbox has subsided but the effects of the 'war on terror' are still being felt both at home and abroad. Terrorism forced many voters to re-evaluate the important balance between the rights of the individual against the all-encompasing power of the state. For the first time people have questioned the treatment of suspects and, as the motivations for going to war in Iraq remain murky at best, calls for the state to be held to account are likely to echo into the next decade.
3. SOCIAL NETWORKING Like it or loathe it, few of us will finish this decade without some form of online identity. As teenagers, Myspace and Bebo became the ideal virtual host for all our angst though most of us have since graduated to the University of Facebook. For the worst-addicted the advent of Twitter offered a chance to share their news, opinions and what they had for lunch with tweeters world wide. Twitter truly came into prominence during the Iranian demonstrations of summer 2009 when it was the only method by which to send information , uncensored, out of the autocratic state. Social networking was the most influential development in the online world of the last decade. The future will surely acknowledge its invention as a positive outcome of the noughties. As society becomes larger and larger, social networking gives us all a needed sense of community.
4. CREDIT CRUNCH Towards the end of the decade you may have noticed your pockets getting lighter... a lot lighter. As the effects of the credit crunch became widespread bankers regularly topped polls, usually dominated by lawyers and parking wardens, as the most unpopular profession. Chief among these was Bernie Madoff who used a simple pyramid scheme to steal over $40bn. He must surely be in the running for most unpopular man of the decade, and makes our Fred 'The Shred' Goodwin appear relatively tame. The global banking bailout which followed and included Northern Rock in the UK and the nationalisation of Freddie Mac and Fanni Mae in America, was a symbolic return to the Keynesian Economics which was popular from the 40s to the 70s. Capitalism was genuinely questioned and no longer was the free market seen as unimpeachable.
5. BARACK OBAMA This decade may have been a bit of a downer at times but by November 2008 things were looking up as just about everyone following the US election got a bit of a crush on Obama. Borrowing a phrase from Bob the Builder, Barack Obama swept to victory with the rally cry 'yes we can' and brought hope to a nation scarred by racial inequality and to a world weary of Bush. Despite being in office for under a year, he has followed through on his campaign pledge to be the first President in recent memory to genuinely attempt universal healthcare reform. He has also reached out to the Islamic world as well as acknowledging that global warming must be tackled as an immediate priority. Along the way superman has even managed to pick up a Nobel Peace Prize. Not bad... not bad at all.
Hanging in the balance Dan Nicholson-Heap argues in favour of hung parliaments
LAST SUNDAY, an Ipsos-Mori poll for The Observer showed that Labour had cut the Tory lead from 14% to 6%. As the Conservatives need at least 10% to win an outright majority at the next general election, the media exploded with stories of the likelihood of a hung parliament. Cue also Nick Clegg, slavishly declaring that, as a servant of the British people, he would support whichever party won the most number of seats. Whether we will actually have a hung parliament is only a matter of speculation, and there’s not much we can usefully say when there are still 6 months to go before the next election. One swallow does not make a summer, just like one poll does not make a collapse in Tory support. One thing to note is that oppositions tend never to do as well as polls say; Labour were registering well over 50% in some polls in 1996, but fell back to 43% on election day. The same is likely to apply this time around; Tory poll leads have hit as much as 20%, with an average of around 15%. Given that the economy has started to pick up again and the Tories have been perhaps too open about their spending cuts, Tory support is likely to fall back moderately, although perhaps not to the levels seen in the Ipsos-Mori poll. The consensus among the polling techies is that the drop was mostly due to sampling error, but was also representative of a modest Labour revival. YouGov for The Telegraph on Thursday showed the lead has dropped to 10%, which is probably closer to the truth. As soon as the 6% figure was reported in the press, talking heads in the media and both of the main parties were wheeled out to bash the idea of coalition government.
Opponents of coalition governments paint a vivid picture of hung parliaments producing faction-ridden, indecisive, mistake-prone administrations, but are never able to provide a decent number of real-world examples. Ireland, Germany, Sweden, Denmark, Finland, Norway, New Zealand and many others have had coalition
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It's not the same as Robert Mugabe stuffing ballot boxes. But its not a million miles away from it. " governments. Even in a ‘grand coalition’ with her political enemies, Angela Merkel had a fairly successful 4 years, and is in a even stronger position now, even though she is still in a coalition, this time with the more market-orientated FDP. On measures of Cabinet stability in democracies, Finland comes out on near the top, even though there is quite some distance between the constituent parties in its coalition. Scotland had a Labour-Lib Dem coalition from 1999-2007 and has a minority SNP government now, but it didn’t suddenly collapse into anarchy, as opponents of coalition government would have you believe. On the contrary, we had an imaginative, energetic government coming up with progressive policies which was consistently ahead of the Westminster administration on key issues. Another argument is that coalition
government gives too much power to the smaller parties. This, in theory, is absolutely true. However, if a third or fourth party coalition partner was seen to be behaving irresponsibly; holding up the work of government over a few of its pet issues, it would be routed in an election. In 1976-8, the majority-less Labour government relied on Liberal votes to stay in office. The Liberals could have held Callaghan to ransom, but they didn’t. Several commentators this week pointed out that a coalition would be disastrous given the state of public finances. The Lib Dems know that they would draw the ire of the media and public if they held up necessary cuts, and so they wouldn’t. The Lib Dems have proved themselves responsible coalition partners in Scotland and Wales (equally, all three Holyrood opposition parties have provided responsible opposition to the vulnerable SNP minority government), and there is no reason to believe that they would not do so again at Westminster if called upon. And even if a hung parliament did give the Lib Dems an unfair amount of power, this would make up for the decades of supression that they have been subjected to by the electoral system. In 1983, they received more than 25% of the vote, but only 3% of the seats in Parliament, with this pattern being repeated at all subsequent elections. I just don’t see how we can call ourselves a democracy under the current electoral system. The 2005 election was won by Labour with 36% of the vote on a 60% turnout; the government thus took office with a healthy majority (55% of the seats), with only the support of 21% of the electorate. A coalition government would mean that a far larger proprortion
HELLO DAVE: Wanna buy some pegs? of the electorate will have voted for the government that rules it. The unfairness of the current electoral system is not the same as Robert Mugabe stuffing ballot boxes. But its not a million miles away from it. Coalition governments would go some way to rectifying the bias of the electoral system. Roy Hattersely-a minister in the minority Callaghan government complained in The Guardian this week that his government had to constantly lobby MPs in order to win support for its legislation, instead of simply bullying its troops into the right voting lobby. Last time I checked, that is how democratic parliamentary government was supposed to work. A coalition would mean that there would be a greater range of views amongst those with their hands on the levers of power. This is especially
important in a country like Britain where power is centralised and too few people with too narrow a range of views has had the majority of the power in the past. A hung parliament at the next election would produce a government which would look seriously at proportional representation as a fairer way of electing our legislature. It would be a government which would need to consult a much wider range of views in order to get its policies through. It would be a government that would need to send its ministers to those fairly elected representatives to win their votes, instead of ramming their policies down their throats against public opinion and treating Parliament as if it didn't exist. In short, it would be a democratic government.
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Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Comment 9
More than minimal
Stuart Tooley urges students to join the campaign to raise the minimum wage above the poverty line
T
he Living Wage campaign on campus is in its infancy, but it is moving quickly and achieving for workers and students alike. As Chair of the Unite the Union Society, who have been harbouring this project, I have seen first hand the progress of the campaign. The Living Wage is a natural progression of the National Minimum Wage. When Labour introduced the minimum wage, there were those – including the Conservative Party – who derided the policy and claimed that it would drive up inflation and put small
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It is time for EUSA to hear students' calls for better wages for its workers who run our student services so effectively." companies out of business. What we saw was quite the opposite, as companies and the country as a whole enjoyed an unprecedented period of growth. The aim of the policy was to say ensure a legally binding minimum income for our country’s poorest workers, and a
minimum standard of living that everyone should enjoy. However, I would argue that this has not gone far enough in bringing that standard of living up and helping people to escape poverty. The Living Wage campaign aims to do just that. The Living Wage is simply the minimum wage that a full time employee must be paid to stay out of poverty. For Scotland, that wage is £7.00/hour. This is a full £1.20 above the minimum wage for over 21s. The difference may seem large or small to you, but I can assure you that for those receiving low pay, it makes a world of difference. So for poverty prevention, this is clearly a positive policy. But actively targeting public sector employers not paying the Living Wage will not only help the employees, but also help the economy. In an economic crisis where demand is being artificially increased with massive bailouts and fiscal stimuli, this is a cost-effective way for the public sector to plough money into the economy. For every extra pound a low-paid worker earns, more of it will be spent and circulated round the economy again – a lot better use than propping up bankers’ bonuses. This is not pie-in-the-sky idealism. Nor is it only a concern for the public sector. The Living Wage campaign
has already had considerable success. A community-led campaign in London has led to over £24 million being put in the pockets of the poorest workers. Companies and projects signed up to the scheme include Pricewaterhouse Coopers,Barclays, KPMG, and Lon-
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We are uniquely placed to put pressure on our university to change." don’s Olympics, making London 2012 the first Living Wage Olympics. Another success, also from London, has been Queen Mary University, the first Living Wage University campus. There have been further successes in SOAS and Birkbeck College in the last few years. Edinburgh has the opportunity to become the first Living Wage University in Scotland. But this will not be an easy campaign. Edinburgh University is a complex institution, and the avenues to change are neither obvious nor welcoming. We start from an envious position, with all cleaners – an especially vulnerable group – working directly for Edinburgh University, and
Home-dumbing
Calum Barnes welcomes the end of Scotland's Year of Homecoming
W
hat clan are you in? asks the gangly, khaki-shorted Californian. "Clans? We got rid of those a couple of centuries ago when we realised they were barbaric institutions of oppression, choosing instead to construct our society upon the rational ideals of the Scottish Enlightenment which have had a profound influence on Western civilisation." This is how I should have replied. Unfortunately I have to behave with a bit more decorum working at the Museum of Scotland. Instead I mumbled that I was from the Lowlands where clans were not prevalent before proceeding to ask him what clan he was in, then correcting the pronunciation of his answer to allow him to be able to convincingly take part in Scotland’s completely artificial Highland identity. This of course took place in July, during ‘The Gathering’, the centre piece of Scotland’s Homecoming celebrations to mark the 250th anniversary of Robert Burns’ birth, where Scots of the diaspora were encouraged to come back to discover their cultural roots and, most
importantly, spend all their money. It would have been a noble scheme if it actually bore any resemblance to our culture. But why should they even have bothered coming home? The Scottish Government may as well have just erected huge tartan-painted Loch Ness Monster piggy banks all over the United States so those Americans with a Scottish surname could give us their money in return for a commemorative tea towel depicting all their warped perceptions of our nation that Homecoming is only continuing to perpetuate. A trite proposal but one that will bear just as much reality to visiting Scotland in search of Mel Gibson. Take the nauseating advert they used to promote Homecoming on screens across the world, which they also kindly showed here too in case we all
wanted to visit this mythical Scotland that is so hard to see from our doorsteps. Famous Scots such as Sean Connery, who is so Scottish he doesn’t even need to live here, each sang a line from the folk song ‘Caledonia’ in front of a different idyllic Scottish image, so staggeringly realistic it looks like it had to be filmed using a blue screen. It was like flicking through a souvenir calendar you would buy on the Royal Mile. Call this a sensationalist diatribe but it cannot be anymore sensational than the image of Scotland that Homecoming is portraying to the world. While it aimed to celebrate Scottish culture, Homecoming only seems to have reinforced the superficial fantasies many people have of our nation. Myth is always going to play a role in the construction of a national identity but by pandering to this heavily romanticised image of Highland Scotland, we are only betraying our rich intellectual heritage and our valuable contributions to the world. Modesty may be seen to be inherent to the Scottish character but reducing Scotland to a scenic postcard is degrading to a nation that has managed to forge its own diverse yet distinctive culture of which there is only scant evidence to be found in the Homecoming programme amidst the multitudes of ceilidhs. As St. Andrew's Day brings the year of Homecoming to a close, its success will now be brought under scrutiny. The Scottish Government may have claimed last week that Homecoming will have met its economic aims, but at what cost to our national dignity?
already earning over the Living Wage. However, much less is known about the wages paid by Edinburgh First, the contracted-out company that runs many of the University’s commercial services. We, who inhabit and work within the University of Edinburgh are uniquely placed to put pressure on our university to change. But change must start at home. Policy supporting the Living Wage has sailed through the EUSA committee structures with unanimous backing. It is time for EUSA to hear students’ calls for better wages for its workers who run our student services so effectively. I welcome the beginnings of discussions towards that end, and I hope that the political will exists to push forward this important agenda. This is a campaign that has a great public support, with politicians, societies and individuals from the whole political spectrum endorsing it (even Boris Johnson is a prominent supporter.) It is only through the support of the students, academics and workers of Edinburgh University that we will succeed, and I urge you to get involved if you believe in the same potential for change that I do.
Stuart Tooley is chair of the Unite the Union Society
Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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Editorial
For the last issue of the decade, The Student breaks the fourth wall (of our archives) and delves into the past
Join us! The Student is always looking for budding reporters, reviewers, illustrators, photographers and designers to join our team. No experience necessary! If you're interested, here's how to track us down: » In person: Meetings are held in the Pentland Room, Pleasance, every Tuesday at1:15pm. Socials are held in Native State every Tuesday at 8:00pm » By email: editors@studentnewspaper.org » On Facebook: tinyurl.com/StudentFacebook » On Twitter: twitter.com/TheStudentPaper
A quick history lesson... The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887, as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest university newspaper and is an independent publication, distributing 6,000 copies free to the University of Edinburgh. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the 1970s, Gordon Brown was the editor in chief, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of film and concert reviews.
Disclaimer
The Student welcomes letters for publication. The editors, however, reserve the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. The letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith The Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole. Editors Susan Robinson/Charlie King News Neil Pooran/Anna MacSwan/Guy Rughani Senior News Writers Josh King/Jordan Campbell Comment Mairi Gordon/Ian Powell Features Rosie Nolan/Sara D'Arcy/Catherine McGloin/Juliet Evans Lifestyle Nell Frabotta/Shan Bertelli Art&Theatre Hannah Ramsey/Lisa Parr/Luke Healey Music Andrew Chadwick/Ed Ballard Film Kimberlee Mclaughlan/Dan Nicholson-Heap TV Paddy Douglas Tech Richard Lane Sport Martin Domin/Alastair Shand Copy Editing Rachel Shauger
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Student Newspaper, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Tel: 0131 650 9189. The Student lists links to third party websites, but does not endorse them or guarantee their authenticity or accuracy. © Student Newspaper Society. All rights reserved. No section in whole or part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system or transmited in any form or by any means electronic, mechanical photocopying, recording or otherwise without prior permission of the publisher. The Student is published by the Student Newspaper Society, 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh EH8 9TJ. Distributed by Lothian Couriers, 3 John Muir Place, Dunbar EH42 1GD. Tel: 01368 860115. Printed by Cumbrian Newsprint (part of the CN Group), Carlisle Print Centre, Newspaper House, Dalston Road, Cumbria CA2 5UA, on Monday November 30th 2009. Tel: 01228 612600. Registered as a newspaper at the Post Office.
IT’S ALMOST the end of the noughties, and since this seems to have gone somewhat unnoticed so far, The Student thought that in this, our last edition of our thirteenth decade, we might as well do something to mark the occasion. (It was either this or a Christmas theme, OK.)
So we thought we’d have a trawl through our archives (‘archives’ in this case meaning a dusty mess of a backroom in the bowels of Pleasance). An hour or so later, after tearing down a wall by means of a hammer, a tiny screwdriver and sheer muscular prowess, we unearthed a journalistic treasure trove. Once the sneezing
had abated, we found in the surrounding debris a very broken scanner, a copy of Hype (what?) and accounts from the eighties (Accounts? What are those?) More importantly, there were copies of The Student from as early as 1894, dreams of utopia in a threadbare 1943 issue and a worryingly large number of 2006’s topless front page. Then, we stumbled across this gem (see left), which we believe to be the final edition of the previous decade, 24th November 1999. 1999 was the year of the Euro, the Kosovo War and the Columbine Massacre, of Star Wars Episode One, Manchester United’s treble triumph and of crazy ‘Millennium Bug’ fever. Tony had been in power for just two years (alarmingly, in the editorial of this edition, he’s referred to as the “ever-lovable King Tony”. We’re going to put this down to irony, and try to banish from our minds the image of that man wearing velvet robes and a crown), and George W. was still a safe distance from the Whitehouse, probably playing with a rattle somewhere in Texas. A lot has changed. But flick through the pages of a ten-year-old Student, and you soon realise that a good bit has stayed the same as well. Especially so in our world, that of EUSA, of AGMs, and of endless debates over tuition fees. With reports of plans for fees to come out of graduate wages, letters entitled “Bible Bashing,” and articles about multigender toilets, the final issue of the nineties displays startlingly similar content to recent issues of 2009. The hot topic at EUSA’s AGM that year was not whether to ban tobacco sales, but whether to outlaw GM foods from its shops. As the editorial proudly proclaims: “Food giants are not going to give up their robo-enhanced super-vegetables without a fight, just as independent newspaper columnists will not be easily dissuaded from castigating GM foods as the Devil’s own excreta.” “We cannot predict the future,” continue Tamsie Thomson and John Woodcock, “for all their dinner-enhancing talent, no-one can really say for certain (no, not even the ever-lovable King Tony) that GM products will not trigger off a Jurassic Park-style global meltdown, with mutant killer tomatoes storming number 10…” It goes on, double compounded super-adjectives galore. Let’s try in 2009: Racist wankers are not going to give up their Nazi-enhanced super-rhetoric without a fight, just as independent newspaper columnists will not be easily dissuaded from castigating the BNP as the Devil’s own excreta. We cannot predict the future – for all their Question Time ratings-enhancing bullshit, no-one can really say for certain (no, not even the ever-lovable King Thomas Graham) that the BNP will not trigger off a Saving Private Ryan-style global meltdown, with mutant killer thugs storming number 10…It works, see?
And the award goes to... Catherine Sylvain, who won best critic at The Guardian awards, and former Tech editor and writer Alan Williamson who came runner up... Congratulations!
studentnewspaper.org Tuesday December 1 2009
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ARTS & FEATURES
IN THE STUDENT THIS WEEK
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Boyd and the Bard
Sara D'Arcy talks to Michael Boyd about his honorary degree and how the Renaissance is making a comeback turning a seemingly troubled theatre on its head. Last week, Boyd returned to his undergraduate days as an English Literature student at the University of Edinburgh to receive an honorary degree for his contributions to theatre. "It's really moving. There are all sorts of powerful emotions," he says nostalgically about his return to the University. He reminisces about his undergraduate days, remembering one particularly inspirational tutor: "Roger Savage is probably the main reason why I wanted to come and get this degree. He was the teacher who did that thing of helping me to help me find the vocabulary and the grammar to make up the story of my life. He was that good a teacher." Boyd feels indebted to the University for providing him with an understanding of literature and drama that paved the way for his successful career in theatre. Boyd recognises the extent to which his studies "informed my understanding and the critical appreciation of literature throughout the ages. It was fantastic." Boyd was also involved in student theatre, playing the Evil Angel in a production of Faustus and more poignantly for his career direction, Hamlet. He mentions how his studies were integral to his dramatic performances and how he put the "theorising with Roger" into practice on stage. Theatre was always his passion, but it was not until his university years that it really took off. "University gave me the resources, time, and people that I had not had before. There were some really talented people. Some of them wasted it on astrophysics now," he adds jestingly. It also gave him a break into the real world of theatre. "I wrote and directed a piece called God, Herbert, Donne and the Devil, which was a revue skit. I was really lucky because it was entered for the National Student Drama Festival, which that year was on at the Royal Court. That was quite a break for me because a few people involved in London theatre saw it and enjoyed it. They were then able to be referees for me later on." I ask him whether there were any cringe-worthy moments as an amateur. He recalls a time when he and then-girlfriend whom he later married, Marcella Evaristi, performed a dramatisation of Ted Hughes' Crow. He described it as a "panic - we just did not know what we were doing moments before the show. It was very high risk." They managed to pull it off though. Boyd still seems surprised by this: "Actually it was really interesting and rather good. We really thought we were for the high jump." Boyd has experienced some high points in his career too. Undoubtedly, the best experience was "the last night of
DAN SMEETH
ichael Boyd, artistic director of M the Royal Shakespeare Company (RSC), is finally reaping the rewards for
the History Cycle at the Roundhouse in London, which was the end of a threeyear journey for a group of actors. There was that feeling that the experiment in an ensemble had really worked." It was a turning point for the RSC, which saw them put their burdened past to bed, but also had personal significance for Boyd: "I remember when I had only just left Edinburgh University and went to see Richard Durer's Richard III at the Roundhouse. It had been one of those seminal 'my God this is amazing I want to do something like that one day' moments and he was there watching my Richard III and grinning all over. That was fantastic!" I ask Boyd whether he had doubts about taking over from Adrian Noble in 2003 when the RSC was weighed down with a deficit of £2.8 million, but Boyd had plenty of enthusiasm and innovative ideas. "I was always pretty confident that I was pushing in the right direction," he explains, "but I certainly had tremendous doubts as to whether it
would come off. There were doubts as to whether I was off my chump taking on that responsibility." Yet Boyd does not take the company's current position for granted, stating that: "Even though we are generally perceived to be in a strong place right now, we're producing strong work and know what we are doing. There are still lots of problems: for instance, we still don't have a permanent London home for one thing. I think running something as big as - what is probably the largest theatre company in the world - is always going to be an exercise in controlled failure." What about the uncontrolled external elements - the recession must have hit theatre hard? Boyd easily admits, "Yes. In our Newcastle season this year, you could feel price resistance just talking to the people running the theatres there. We haven't been hit at the box office - touch wood - but where we have been hit is in our redevelopment programme. In terms of capital fundraising it is much harder. We'll do
it. We might have been almost there by now, but we have a bit further to go and that is pure recession." Despite hard times, Boyd is still keeping to his manifesto to re-engage society with Shakespeare."In the end it is about the relationship between the stage and the audience," Boyd explains. "We are starting up a fresher, more interesting dialogue from the stage, partly architecturally by performing on a deep thrust stage. The audience are aware of themselves; they look across the theatre and see an actor on stage and the lady in the green coat at the other side. They are aware of it as a communal conspiracy and see something shared in real time, in real space, together. That is becoming an ever more important quality about the art form now, in an age of digital loneliness and celebrity worship." Apart from offering his audience entertainment that films and TV cannot, the RSC are taking drama to
schools and making Shakespeare more fun for children. "We are changing the teaching culture," Boyd enthuses. "The desks are being pushed to the side of the room and kids who had previously been branded, both by themselves and their teachers, as 'not particularly gifted' are getting confidently up on their feet. They're taking proud ownership of this supposedly high culture, and a) really enjoying it and b) gaining academic confidence which is then spreading into their other subjects as well." Boyd is obviously proud of the RSC's engagement with schools. What does he think about updating the language to make Shakespeare more accessible? He answers to my surprise: "I think updating the language can be great, certainly as a gateway to the original Shakespeare. If you look at people in other countries, they are working and are enjoying their engagement with updated translations. Part of me is very jealous of directors from abroad because the gap between the Renaissance and now isn't so massive and dramatic as it is in the English language theatre, where you've got this thing 'Oh you can't possibly change the language - it's Shakespeare.' I am in favour of updating the language and I think that when we do the World Shakespeare Festival for the 2012 Olympics we will be commissioning some English translations. It will be very controversial." Shakespeare's influence is immeasurable but what, in Boyd's opinion, makes Shakespeare such an important literary figure? "Because he's got the mastery of rhythm and pitch of a Beethoven. He has the wit and humour of recognition as Matt Groening. He has the horrible, clear-eyed metaphysic of a Samuel Beckett. Because he has the huge, human heart and muscular passion of someone like Ted Hughes. Because he's got the brutal truth-telling and humanity of a Picasso and the sophistication of human relationships of a Philip Roth. All in one. He is still vivid, because he is unresolved. He was unresolved when he wrote it. He had to leave it unresolved. If he resolved his writing, his plays would have not been allowed on stage. So he had to encase his work in metaphor." With all of these antithetical identities, can we pin down Shakespeare's own ideas and philosophies? Boyd thinks not. "But if I had to identify one item of Shakespeare's DNA that is characteristic of him, it would be antithesis. It would be the opposition of one idea against another and letting whatever it is hover in between those two ideas." Despite our inability to determine the intentions of our nation's great writer, we never tire of contemplating and debating his ideas about humanity and his timeless approach to theatre. Boyd believes that it is Shakespeare's ambiguity that "is what keeps him alive today."
Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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features@studentnewspaper.org
Features
Mistletoe, wine and
Can the taste of weight-loss triumph eclipse the salivatory sublimity of Christmas ummer’s over. The long, dark S nights are drawing in. The last thing I want to do at eight o’clock
at night is pull on a pair of running shorts and pant my way across the Meadows, return home red-faced, not from exertion but wind burn. At this time of year I mostly find that if it isn’t knitted, full-length or thermal then it doesn’t constitute suitable daytime attire. Plus, there are deadlines, essays and exams to prepare for, so there’s no chance that I’d procrastinate in the gym wearing uncomfortably sticky clothes and smelling other people’s feet. However, despite being cold enough to warrant wearing four pairs of socks, it seems that the festive party season – yes, apparently Christmas has its own season now – is looming, threatening to tear that mug of super deluxe hot chocolate from my frozen, chilblained hand. Just when we thought it was safe to put down the celery stick in that mad rush for the instant perfect ‘bikini bod’ we’re now urged to drop a dress size for the baby Jesus. Aside from the shopping and general family feuding, Christmas is a time when not really much else apart from eating and drinking takes
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In these dreary winter months our bodies command us to go ahead and store up the blubber reserves for our natural period of hibernation" centre stage. From the turkey and the cheeseboards to Santa’s whisky and Rudolph’s carrots, everyone stuffs themselves silly at Christmas. So, why the pressure to slim down? The timeless little black dress and the hour-glass silhouette: these are enduring and iconic images that a lot of women still aspire to. In my It’s a Wonderful Life ideal version of the holidays, there’s snow, carollers and the prospect of a cheeky kiss under the mistletoe, alongside candy canes and litres of Baileys. In these dreary winter months our bodies command us to go ahead and store up the blubber reserves for our natural period of hibernation; this involves fish and chip Fridays and pub lunch Sundays. So, one dreary morning, whilst having coffee and cake with a group of friends, we start to talk about the lunacy of winter dieting. We discuss gym memberships, Atkins diets and Weight Watchers points and reach the conclusion that we are either too lazy, too poor or too mathematically challenged to be bothered with any of these. Then someone mentions slimming pills, available online without prescription and usually bundled with a load of other free
dietary supplements to make the expenditure worthwhile. She said that she had considered taking them in the past but had been scared off by the health warnings and reports that she had heard from other friends. Despite this, I couldn’t help thinking that this avenue might be worth pursuing, so I turned to Google. Diet plans: that’s a serious investment of time and effort that I just can’t commit to. A dietician: an expense too far. Diet pills: limited effort and relatively low cost - just what I’m looking for and the answer to all my anxieties concerning festive fitness. While I may be eager to streamline, I’m not entirely narcissistic and
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We all know slimming pills are bad for you, yet we continue to fund this booming industry" I wouldn’t put my body in any serious danger, especially not for journalistic integrity. We all know that slimming tablets are bad for you and probably won’t work, yet we still seem to be funding this booming industry. It seems that with our hectic modern lives, instantaneous and low-effort solutions are most attractive. I want to make it very clear that I didn’t go into this naively; I was fully aware of the possible consequences and I'd promised myself that it would only last for as long as I felt relatively OK and was able to function coherently. Digging into the world of slimming aids uncovered a whole host of complications related to diet pills. These range from the relatively mild nausea and headaches, to insomnia and heart palpitations. So any pacing the floor or excessive dusting at five in the morning and the pills were out – and I would be back on solids. After a bit of researching I stumbled across Apidexin. This slimming pill does much the same as the rest – speeds up metabolism and increases lean muscle mass. From my research, carried out before entering headlong into this experiment, I found it almost impossible to find any contact details for this company apart from an email address. Moreover, it says that their ingredients are ‘patent pending’. Needless to say, this didn’t instil me with confidence. There are many brands: Silver Slim, SlimBurn, but I go for the Slim Bomb (drastic times, drastic measures). They say that they burn fat, suppress the appetite and boost energy. These ‘blue bombs’, as they’re referred to by those in the know, contain caffeine and green tea leaf extract. That's according to Dplan UK’s website, which is where, amongst the tooth whitener and spot cream, I purchased these wonder pills. It sounded to me like a more militant coffee and cigarette lifestyle, so
A LITTLE EXTRA SEASONING: Complex chemical compounds are always the answer when you've got too much what would be the difference? Hopefully my waistline, as the website suggests, “It’s not called the BOMB for nothing.” For the bargain price of £34.95 I receive 160 slimming capsules to last me 40 days, a free 30-day course of slimming patches and some ‘Pu-erh’ tea. According to the label, the Slim Bomb uses thermogenesis technology, which I’m patronisingly informed by a herbal remedy website means “simply the creation of heat in your body” produced from all the calories that my body will be effortlessly melting away. They also claim that no special diet is needed; you can continue your daily cheesy chip routine, but because they act as an appetite suppressant, you’ll merely find that smaller portions fill you up faster. Four tablets a day before three o’clock and I should be on my way to little black dresses and mistletoe. They arrive in fairly good time, time enough for me to have one
last binge. I headed to a reputable Marchmont café for cake and an Oreo milkshake. I started on Monday.
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Four tablets a day before three o' clock and I should be on my way to little black dresses and mistletoe."
Day one: the sun wasn’t so much as shining as piercing through my curtains, as I rolled up and realised that it was time for tablet number one. It’s recommended that you take the pills before eating, so I wash one down with a smoothie and head off to the shower. The day passes, lectures, seminar – on the West
Indies sugar boom cruelly enough – I eat lunch (tuna sandwich) and head home. Anxious to see some results as soon as possible, I realise that I’ve munched down all four tablets and it’s not even two o’clock. I don’t feel much, apart from a keen awareness of everyone eating in the library café, and all my conversations begin to centre on food, culminating in detailed accounts of what everyone has, is and will be eating. I feel positive and upbeat, excited at the distinct possibility of waking up the next morning built like Kate Moss. Tuesday is a disappointment. Not only do I feel more like Grant Mitchell than Miss Moss, but I’m restless. I don’t think I’m at the stage yet where smaller portions magically fill me up like a full-on roast dinner would – Yorkshires and all - so I can’t tell whether it was hunger keeping me awake all night, the enthusiastic saxophone player next door or a kind
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Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Features 13
...slimming pills?
dinner? Catherine McGloin ponders whether diet medication is too bitter a pill to swallow not on the best of terms for a good part of the next day, but not wanting to get five days in and then ruin the experiment, I soldiered on. When I had peeled my head up for long enough to take in my surroundings I realised it was rather dark outside; I had taken my daily dosage, but it was eight o’ clock at night, a good five hours over the recommended time limit.
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I felt sick, emotional, tired and just generally miserable, but I was willing to undergo traumas if ultimately I would see some results"
Christmas dinner on your plate. of caffeine high from the Bombs. Either way I’m not entirely at peace with the world and the day grumbles by. Nonetheless, I stay disciplined and manage to take all four tablets before three that afternoon. By five I’m losing them down the toilet again. If I had to give one defining characteristic of the Slim Bomb, they make you feel below-par, queasy, nauseated, simply sick, and not at the most convenient of times either. After Tuesday’s events, it seemed as though the flood gates had opened and I just couldn’t stop anything from giving me one last farewell. I think during the week I managed to keep two meals down. I use the term ‘meal’ loosely; as I was so afraid I’d yawn all over anyone whose company I happened to be in, I’d taken to eating small, dry food - mainly nuts and dried fruit. So yes, I was eating less, but not because the ‘blue bombs’ were speeding up my metabolism and
making me feel fuller on less, but because I was so afraid that I wouldn’t be able to hold it down. So the week continued in much the same vein: vomiting, moaning and crying - a lot of crying. It seemed that the pills had much the same effect as gin does: they turned me into an emotional wreck. The slightest things would set me off: holes in tights, bringing a blue biro instead of a black one to class, getting full-fat milk instead of skimmed in my coffee. So, if I wasn’t being sick all over my nearest and dearest, I was unleashing a barrage of emotion, which usually ended in some kind of silent rage and me storming off to sob uncontrollably for a solid five minutes or so. I can only suppose that this outburst of emotion was the result of a lack of decent sleep and decent carbohydrates. This seems to be a common story where slimming pills are concerned. Another Uni-
versity of Edinburgh student, who spoke to me once they realised I was writing about my experiences, told
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It seemed the pills had much the same affect as gin does; they turned me into an emotional wreck." me that she had been given tablets by an American friend who had praised their effectiveness. However, her experiences were far from pleasant: “I had no appetite whatsoever. I also couldn’t sleep properly and eventually went three days without sleep. I got seriously depressed, and the worst part was that in the end I ended up considerably fatter than I
was to begin with!” Thus the story of Friday goes. Our flat were hosting a dinner party, followed by a stint to a nightclub. I’d taken all four pills and I was ready to enjoy some gorgeous grub. All went well, the wine was flowing and I successfully tucked away a generous helping of shepherd’s pie and enchiladas. Then we hit the town, more alcohol, more jumping and swinging on the dancefloor. It wasn’t until we returned home that it all went downhill. That famous mistress, Betty Crocker, had made a stunning birthday cake earlier in the day, and a tub of her chocolate spread lay a top the dining table. Of course, in a fit of drunken hunger, I proceeded to almost lick out the entire tub, with dire consequences. Needless to say, all that cocoa, chocolate and preservatives was a step too far for my shrunken stomach to cope with. My digestive system and I were
Saturday night was eventful. I managed to rearrange all my books in height order, get album artwork for my entire iTunes collection, Facebook rape the profiles of a number of good friends and finally iron my towels. It seems that the three o’clock deadline is a wise idea, otherwise it’s virtually impossible to sit still, and shutting your eyes makes you feel like you’re falling down a very deep, dark well. Not only was my brain racing, but that started me off thinking about heart palpitations. Convinced I would experience an anxiety attack at any moment, I scrambled for the NHS Direct phone number and was on the verge of giving them a distressed call, until a documentary about the Girl Guides on BBC iPlayer caught my eye. After these surreal twilight hours the ‘blue bombs’ were violently dumped. I couldn’t even last the whole seven days. It was a nightmare. I felt sick, emotional, tired and just generally miserable. Despite this, I was willing to undergo these traumas if ultimately I would see some results. Admittedly, I wasn’t taking the Slim Bomb for long enough for it to exact any noticeable weight loss, but after all that I had gone through – near starvation, humiliation – I wanted some kind of justification. I chose not to tell anyone what I was doing, and it seemed that no one noticed. Apart from looking wrecked, unsurprisingly no one commented on my non-existent new svelte figure. I probably will never be a size zero and so I’m definitely back on the mince pies. Oscar Wilde may have thought that “it is better to be beautiful than to be good” but I would much rather be able to hold down three meals a day and smile when things go bad than be skinny and miserable. There’s no real way of cheating weight loss, but the hardest thing of all is to be happy with yourself first. This Christmas, I am holding on to my curves and my sanity.
Tuesday December 1 2009 culture.thestudent@gmail.com
14 Review
DOUGLAS MCBRIDE
CULTURE
An afternoon's delight
Christine Johnston, Ciara Stafford and Marie Alter report on the trio of Freshers' plays performed on Wednesday 25 November THE MASQUE OF THE RED DEATH
BEDLAM THEATRE
15:45
BEDLAM THEATRE
BEDLAM THEATRE
BLUE REMEMBERED HILLS
Peter Pan: Don't judge a Hook by his covers PETER PAN UNTIL 3 JAN THE ROYAL LYCEUM
UNTIL JANUARY 3, an evening at the Lyceum is like stepping into a page ripped straight out of a storybook, as the windows into J.M Barrie’s world are flung open to welcome the cast of Peter Pan to the stage. The set alone promises greatness; imagination becomes the mode of currency as the bed of the Darling children is transported from their nursery to Never Land, with an underwater date and pirate ship stop thrown in for good measure. Francis O’ Connor’s impressive handiwork, however, fails to disguise a doughy narrative that at times runs away with its own frivolity, hampering proceedings. Laboured scene changes also slow momentum. Yet what the production lacks in finesse, it makes up for in oodles of charm proving that Peter Pan offers a fun alternative to the wealth of pantomimes on offer during this season. It boasts a strong cast with Kim Gerard, Neil Thomas and Antony Okill
providing a proficient Wendy, John and Michael respectively, enchanted by Scott Fletcher’s Peter Pan. They are excellently supported by a hammed-up Hook (Stuart Bowman) and dimwitted Smee (Irene Macdougall), who also masquerade as Mr and Mrs Darling in the framing plot. But it is Samuel Dutton who steals the show and must be credited for his quick costume changes alone, energetically playing four parts throughout. Dutton’s Tinker Bell, in an original twist, is a tramp wearing a tutu, clutching a fairy on a stick, uttering gobbledegook. This shouldn’t work as well as it does, but Peter Pan certainly requires its audience to leave their sensible hats at the door. Probably more succinct than any reviewer, the streams of chattering children leaving the auditorium after the curtain falls say it all; this Peter is certainly not panned. Hannah Ramsey
CHRISTMAS
PARTY
SANTA CLAUS IS COMING TO POTTERROW!
DRESS UP AS SANTA’S LITTLE HELPER AND GET IN FREE! FREE BEFORE 10PM/ £3 B4MIDNIGHT/ £4 AFTER 9PM-3AM
eusa.ed.ac.uk
Edinburgh University Students’ Association is a Registered Scottish Charity (No.SCO15800)
MEDEA
14:30
DENNIS PORTER’S original intention for adults to portray children in Blue Remembered Hills works remarkably well in this student production. We almost forget their size at points, their stance and movements giving the appearance of a far younger cast. Too, the sparse set signifies the supposedly uncomplicated idea of childhood that the script soon sets to unravel. The premise of wartime Britain is quickly signified by the 1940s style clothes, and through the dialogue.
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Ending on a moment of transcendence, Blue Remembered Hills is darkly bitter, but communicative of a wider truth." The first encounter between two boys is invariably interrupted by spurts of violence, or childish giggling. Joined by another pair, one is hunched, and stammering, seemingly a predictable bullies' target. To the other side of the stage, two girls and a boy, Donald, play at ‘houses’. His awkward presence immediately indicates his vulnerability, taking part in a "girls game". Overexcited as they occupy pretend grownup roles, they demonstrate only how attached to childhood they remain. The murder of a squirrel by the gang of boys foreshadows the play's end, pitting ideas of the strong against the weak; survival of the fittest. The claim Donald is "asking for it" comes shortly after the girls have asserted the same about an unseen character. The disturbing edge to their intentions is echoed by a siren overhead, a warning that their idyllic world is far from safe. Comparisons to Lord of the Flies have always touched Blue Remembered Hills; Donald is clearly ‘Piggy’, the boy with the stutter initially acting as a red herring. Plotting to "frighten him to death", they storm the shed Donald has taken refuge in, unaware of the fire he has lit inside. His touching helplessness against those unaware of their strength reaches a climax as smoke fills the stage, which turns black and desolate. The aftermath is bleak; they shift blame and fudge details as if it is a game, an escapable nightmare. A remnant of ‘houses’, a baby’s pram sits mobile on the stage. Prior, one of the girls frantically tried to reach it, as if grappling for the childhood they will all soon leave behind. Ending on a moment of transcendence, it is darkly bitter, but communicative of a wider truth. With bombs and alarms forming part of the growing up process, the need to establish an unconnected identity was, and is, especially essential. The delicate complexities of youth sit awkwardly in a world sometimes one step ahead of itself. Despite it’s dated origins, Blue Remembered Hills resonates now in an increasingly modern society. CJ
17:00
AS A self-respecting gothic tale, The Masque of the Red Death is a lesson in the dark and the macabre as can only be delivered by an adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s short story. John Rushton and Stuart Young’s version written for this year’s Freshers' slots is a true reflection of the story’s essence, delivered by a cast adept at channelling the script’s satire, without overwhelming the play's sinister undertones. Published in 1842, the original is an excellent amalgamation of Poe’s favourite topics, namely pestilence, death and the supernatural. A plague known as the Red Death sweeps the country; killing within the half hour in a manner befitting one of the gothic heavyweights (symptoms, if you are curious, include sharp pains and profuse bleeding of the pores). Prince Prospero, ever the stereotypic toff, decides to distance himself from these inconvenient matters and instead sets up camp at one of his abbeys. There he whiles away the time in relative
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As a self-respecting gothic tale, The Masque of the Red Death is a lesson in the dark and the macabre as can only be delivered by an adaptation of Edgar Allan Poe’s short story." seclusion, excepting the company of a select band of fellow upperclass twits. It is here where we join the action, the premise of the play having been elegantly set up as a series of wireless broadcasts. By setting the events in the roaring twenties, Rushton and Young give The Masque of the Red Death a refreshing originality. Miriam Early’s quirky choreography adds a dynamic feel that breaks the constraints of having no set and provides a strong introduction to a solid performance. A lot of Poe’s imagery is now so famous that in the wrong pair of hands it runs the danger of becoming clichéd, but in this case the play never encounters such problems. Instead, a skilled cast create scenes that snap back and forth from the light hearted to the disturbing, aided by stage directions that reinforce the abbey’s oppressive claustrophobia. A neat and confident performance, The Masque of the Red Death ticks the many boxes of a freshers' slot production; originality, skill, and most of all, potential. CS
“IF ONLY...”; with these opening words echoing through the room, the chorus introduces the sombre tragedy that traces the fatal unfolding of Medea’s revenge upon her treacherous husband Jason, for whom she has abandoned everything. The question remains whether Medea could have altered the course of
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Kay Singh presents a stunning performace as Medea, managing to create a heavy and oppressing atmosphere from the very first minutes through both an unchanging gravity in her facial expressions, and an incredible stage presence." the tragic events and would therefore be held responsible for her gruesome actions, or if they were entirely determined by the inescapable power of fate. Throughout her stunning performance, Kay Singh - in the role of Medea - manages to create a heavy and oppressing atmosphere from the very first minutes through an unchanging gravity in her facial expressions and an incredible stage presence. Also, whether intended or not, the choice of casting the very tall Sacha Timaeus in the role of Jason underlines Medea’s overpowering character even further by creating a constructive contrast at two levels: first, with the relatively small size of the actress, second with his very weak and arrogant character.
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The production's originality stems from the vivid representation of physical harm done to Medea's victims." What makes this production original is the vivid representation of physical harm done to Medea’s victims: red light illuminates the stage throughout the play, blood is spilled, and the chorus screams at the top of its voice, reminding the audience of Medea’s often forgotten cruelty. Despite the chorus giving the play its ultimate character, it also sadly spoils it in the end; all the good work that its multifaceted and creative performance does is undone when, in response to all of Medea's victims being killed, it bursts out crying in the final minutes. Both my ears started to ache from the sobs, and the silent tension the play had built up so effectively was dispelled. Although the play ends on this unpleasant note, it is absolutely worth seeing as it manages to creatively refresh this eternal myth. MA
Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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Review 15 STAR RATING The icing on the cake
Sweet
Spongy
Half-Baked
Crumbs
Artist in Focus: Connie Viney
One of the University's rising stars is preparing to take 'let them eat cake' to a whole new level, all in the name of Christmas. Kamila Kocialkowska and Sarah Hardie are on the scene... EDINBURGH CITY Council have given the University’s very own budding artist, Connie Viney, £1000 to make her “Twelve Days of Christmas Cake” as part of the city’s innovative Christmas Arts Program this year. We asked 4ft11 Connie about her 7ft work of art…
crucial part of it all, and I love the fact that this is a truly social art, one which brings people together. I think its quite common for artists to feel a sense of anti-climax at the end of a show anyway, people just come briefly and look around then leave, It sometimes leaves you wondering if it's all even worth it, but obviously it is, or else we wouldn’t make art ultimately.
So, why cake, Connie? I like the idea of popular art: not too strongly academically based, yet not “low art.” My practice used to involve painting, but I began to know how my work would turn out - there was no fear in that mode of making. The intangibility of work at art college and the lack of risk taking I saw led me to separate myself from it by enrolling in an evening class in cake decorating. Most of my classmates were not from artistic backgrounds and yet the way they poured their hearts out into creating cakes that when finished would be totally devoured really inspired me.
What makes your cakes art?
In galleries I’m often surprised at people’s lack of engagement with the art. My work will be in a space where those who don’t often visit galleries, as well as those who do, can consume it. Art isn’t just for the elite. (Argentinian artist) RirkritTiravanija turned the gallery into a canteen serving “everyone”, but would “everyone” really enter the middle-class space of the gallery I wonder? Cake as a
CONNIE VINEY
Why did you choose to show your work in a shop and not a gallery?
symbol of community and collective celebration is so universal. A problem with “the gallery” is that generally the curator, not the artist, gets to make the decisions, but in this case I didn’t have to go through the gallery system to get my art out there.
I suppose there’s always a sense of loss, because so much work goes in to them and then they disappear so quickly. But of course that’s the
So what’s happening in Jenners? Well, I’ve created a seven-foot tall cake, which will be revealed in Jenners on Wednesday December 2. Unsurprisingly, it’s my biggest work to date. It’ll be divided into sections with one eaten each day from December 12-20. It’s free and everyone is welcome to come along and try some!
COMEDY AT PLEASANCE: PIPPA EVANS AND MILES JUPP
TITUS ANDRONICUS 27-29 NOV
24 NOV
BEDLAM
PLEASANCE CABARET BAR
BEFORE ENTERING the theatre, the audience is told to avoid sitting in the front three rows if their clothes are not machine washable. We go in, where a red light is focused on what turns out to be a burial pit, and notice that alongside the producers and stage managers listed in the programme, there is a ‘Master of Gore’. Clearly we are in for a bloody treat. Particularly for a venue as intimate as Bedlam, the violence and blood-shed was realistic; and true to the warning from the Bedlam staff, a couple of audience members may have been splashed as one of the characters is bouldered to death. The part gaining most groans from the audience, however, is the scene featuring Titus (Conner Jones) having his hand sawn off to save the lives of his two sons. This leaves him wailing and brandishing his bloody stump at the audience before his sons heads are thrown at his feet, along with his own severed hand. He is not even the only one to be missing a hand at the end of the production, with his daughter Lavinia (Leonie Sheridan) losing both of hers, as well as her tongue - just to give you some perspective on the level of violence. The realism of these events was improved by several heart-
Your cakes take so long to make – is it hard to see them being eaten?
I definitely think of them as art - there’s a huge amount of design and creativity involved in making them. It's really important to me to make things which have a strong visual presence, a spectacle, even, so I try to make them as bright, bold and sculptural as I can, and that involves a lot of research and practice with materials. However, I try not to over-theorise it too much. Dry, intellectual art makes me feel a bit disillusioned; I want to make something beautiful for its own sake, which fulfils the viewer in that sense.
felt performances, especially those depicting the characters’ angry or fearful reactions to the horrible events. Daisy Badger is particularly successful in her portrayal of
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Alongside the producers and stage managers listed in the programme, there is a 'Master of Gore'. Clearly we are in for a bloody treat " Tamora, the bitch of the piece. Although the audience has to wait a little while for the action to kick off, when it does we are offered some interesting visuals. The actors utilised the space well, especially considering that the burial pit was the only real set device, and it was full to the brim by the end of the production. The set facilitates an especially effective visual when Aaron (Ed Sheridan) is captured and strung up with ropes from a series of rafters, threatened with the prospect of being hung. And of course, the final scene where the characters who are in the minority of still being alive wade through the bodies of those who have slaughtered each other. Alanna Petrie
TUESDAY NIGHT’S Comedy At Pleasance was an exhibition in contrast; from deadpan to musical, from adorable to creepy, from sublime to ridiculous. A typically unenthusiastic crowd at the Cabaret Bar were duly brought to life by the divergent yet equally funny performances of comedy big guns Pippa Evans and Miles Jupp. Having opened with a deceptively friendly ‘how y’all doin’?’, 2008 if.award nominee Evans hilariously exposed the youthful crowd to the darker side of a woman scorned, with the assistance of but one of her comedic alter egos - singer and southern belle Loretta Lane. With lyrics like "if you like sunshine, never leave me!"or "my love is like a box - it’s biodegradable," added to gruesome descriptions of revenge on a school bully, it was slightly paradoxical that the deranged musings of Lane/Evans were still able to bring a grin to our faces. While it would have been nice to see some of Evans’ other characters, an evening with Lane was sufficient to reassure us that character comedy is certainly not a thing of the past. Taking a much lower-key approach to his introduction, Edinburgh alumnus Miles Jupp was less than humbled, declaring, "I’m privileged to be here - and in general." But life isn’t all wine and sedan chairs, Jupp reassured us: "my life is made no easier by people who hear my voice assuming that I’m a bit of a cunt."
Stereotypes based on his upperclass mannerisms formed the crux of Jupp’s set, with every part of the country coming into the sites of the comic’s polite rants. Of an audience in Hampshire who, unfortunately for them, assumed that Jupp shared their views, the Lincolnshire native had this to say: "It is a strange world where the moral high ground is held by racists who don’t like swearing."
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Jupp was less than humbled, declaring 'I'm privileged to be here - and in general' " As both Jupp’s persona and material showed his audiences, appearances can be deceiving. Such a proposition was movingly demonstrated by Jupp’s musings on fatherhood, in which he observed that "you would never think you could love something unconditionally while it unashamedly pisses in your face." Unashamedly pissing in the face of all those who would tell you that comedy must be done a certain way, both Evans and Jupp deftly illustrated the advantages that come when comedians find their niche, and the delights to be found in variety. Charlie Shute
7MINUTEMEN RUN ENDED 129 LAURISTON PLACE
ENTERING A show of works by 7 ECA students and graduates in what used to be the Minuteman copyshop, your first glance is turned to the black suspended lettering spelling out ‘SOUVENIRS 2009’ , which viewers are invited to walk behind to try and make sense of the painted panels beyond the sculpture. Here Hugo de Verteuil has distorted the idea of signage. Tollcross businesses, invited to buy advertisement space on the work, find their slogans ironically illegible in de Verteuil’s single colour panels, where background and image are barely distinct. The first floor walls still host copy-house text advertising ‘brochures, business cards…’ which is a clever juxtaposition: the blur of de Verteuil’s work set in the commercial context. This awareness of popular culture and the act of copying are recurrent themes throughout the show. However, it seems at points that the copy-house ruin, with its peeling hotchpotch of wallpaper and workshop flooring, overpowers the work it contains. Perhaps this is intentional, though at points it seems that the artists are still in their studio space, their works abutting each other out of frugal necessity rather than curatorial choice.
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Rachel Maclean's demonic satire of Britain's Got Talent is frighteningly compelling, just like the program itself " Downstairs the space has been used more coherently. Ian Rothwell’s play on Sol LeWitt’s cube works subvert an interest in pure form by slapping eye-catching kitsch, candy floss pink paint over broken frames. This sets precedent for a more playful mood. Laurie Macpherson’s meticulously hand-made deck chairs lie in wait to transport the punters to an experience comparable to a seaside film screening. Having seen Rachel Maclean’s film work before, I was aware of her clever ‘Creature Comforts’-style approach, dubbing familiar voices into uncanny settings. 'I Dreamed a Dream' is an almost demonic satire on Britain’s Got Talent: ‘Amanda Holden’ with her tits out, the judges clad as clowns and Susan Boyle re-enacting Les Miserables à la Metallica. It’s frighteningly compelling, just like the program itself. Elsewhere, 2012 Cultural Olympian Craig Coulthard provides a film of a man roaming Edinburgh, sandwiched by mirrors. It feels like a low budget Anish Kapoor work, but more cinematic; the work in motion forcing change from the environment around it; the artist literally holding up a mirror to our world. The must see according to the ‘price list’ is Terry Morton’s ‘£15000 exhibit (price negotiable)’. This is easily missed by the curtain concealing it, but rather beautiful in its understated linearity and glowing fibre optics. While most works are accomplished and polished, a few seem to communicate a more preparatory aesthetic, perhaps more suited to the studio. Nevertheless, for most of the exhibition, the question was not 'art or not art?' but 'to buy or to copy?' Sasha Galitzine
Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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16 Lifestyle
The best and worst of the decade Shan Bertelli looks at the most popular celebrity trends of the noughties I n an increasingly celebrity-obsessed world, it's hard to determine what will help you stay at the top of the showbiz foodchain. Here are seven media stunts that have graced the covers of the classiest tabloid rags this decade. THIRD WORLD ADOPTION
From Cambodia to Malawi, no Third World country is safe from publicly broody celebrities any more. Famous prospective parents have descended upon orphanages across the world to add to their growing armies of multi-ethnic children. This would be an ordeal for most people. Between the travelling, complex adoption laws and paper-
work in different languages, this process is enough to put any mere mortal off…but as long as you have a recognisable name and enough money to throw the Malawian government a party, it should be easy going. Failing that, or if you’re determined to keep your own DNA in the gene pool but don’t want to get the stretch marks, or even if you aren’t really in the position to have one yourself (Ricky Martin), you can always get a surrogate to have your child for you. Foreign children were definitely the number-one accessory of the decade.
REHAB Everyone from Lindsay Lohan, to Robbie Williams, to Amy Winehouse (say ‘no’ as many times as you like, Amy – you’re still going), and back to Lindsay Lohan, has been to one
of those discreet retreats. Whether by choice, intervention or court order, rehab was the place to be for all celebrities who wanted their names in the tabloids this decade. It’s an ideal way to have a bit of a break from the paparazzi, stay in the news without the embarrassing photographs and make nice with the DUI parole officers.
CROTCH SHOTS One of the biggest trends this decade was the very sophisticated crotch shot, popular among socialites and ‘actress/singers' who still haven’t learnt how to get out of a car without flashing. Not all the credit should go to the spread-eagle posers - we do have to acknowledge that the paparazzi made an extra effort in special cases. After all, it did take a lot of patience to wait till the minute Emma Watson turned 18 before desperately scrambling to shove cameras up her skirt.
THE BLOGGER BANDWAGON Presently, Twitter is the most popular way for celebrities to make statements without being vetted by overworked PR people. While it doesn’t help the celebrities in question with their image, it can provide some entertainment and solid evidence that you don’t have to be literate to be famous. They should be aware that this form of mass communication is not without its dangers. Earlier this year, Perez Hilton’s insufferable blogging managed to get him assaulted by will.
Ten years in fashion
Emma Segal explores the highs and lows of style
A
retrospective portrayal of the decade’s fashion trends is admittedly an onerous task. I looked back at my old photos to enhance my memory of the first half of the decade, resulting in several inevitable ‘What was I THINKING?!’ moments. The noughties started off with some clear groups: the chav, the prep and the emo. Fake Burberry check, jogging bottoms and exposed labels all encompassed the look of the former. Preps were split into indie or public school variations, the first brandishing skinny jeans and thick frame ‘geek chic’ glasses, the second polo shirts and Jack Wills hoodies. 2003 saw Ashton Kutcher’s rise to superstardom which resulted in the accompanying and ubiquitous Von
Dutch or Ed Hardy trucker hats. Other shameful, completely unfashionable trends included bright pink Juicy Couture tracksuits and the still unstoppable (yet hideous) Ugg boot. Thankfully, 2003 wasn’t all bad. With Sienna Miller becoming the poster girl for the gypsy ‘boho’ look, maxi dresses and headbands meant we could relive the Woodstock years without having to experience them the first time round. As we entered 2005, the MDMAinspired years of Nu-Rave took hold of fashion, with neon becoming a staple on the catwalks and in the shops. At the same time, East London vintage chic became the new look. Hoxton vintage boutiques rose in popularity and raised their prices, something national charity shops, American Apparel, and Urban Outfitters, benefited from. No longer seen as undesirable, vintage and second-hand became a marker for those truly in the know provided, naturally, that it was mixed with high street and designer clothing, à la Kate Moss. By this time, skinny fit low-rise jeans were a wardrobe staple, replacing the bootcut ‘mum jeans’ of the 1990s. Though flares and boyfriend jeans came and went, the skinny jean has remained the jean of choice for most. 2006 saw the introduction of
the classic tourist shoe, the Croc. A plastic clog, these came in a variety of offensive colours for children and adults alike. Thankfully, though still on sale, this trend has diminished in desirability. 2007 saw ballet flats, tunics and leggings come back into fashion. An 80s-style staple which was also warm and practical, these now ubiquitous not-quite tights, not-quite trousers came in a variety of colours and patterns, by 2009 culminating in the ‘jegging’ trend (i.e. not quite legging, not quite jean). By 2009, a combination of 90s grunge (think check shirts) and 80s silhouettes (Balmain power shoulders, anyone?) became the way to stay in vogue. All that remains is for us to see what 2010 will hold. I suspect that the beginnings of the sci-fi futuristic aesthetic, seen in designers such as Gareth Pugh and Holly Fulton, will continue to trickle down into the high street, ultimately meaning we boldly go where fashion has never gone before.
i.am. If there’s one thing all celebrity bloggers must remember, it’s that their messages go out to everyone and they shouldn’t make statements unless they’re prepared to deal with the consequences.
GET A NEW BELIEF SYSTEM Sure, people might think you’re insane, but who are they to tell you what to believe or to stop jumping on couches? If you can’t find a conventional religion that suits your personality or image, there’s a whole array of new and popular movements to satisfy your needs. They may consistently ask for money, be officially known as a cult in some countries and be constantly mocked by the world’s media, but that’s no reason not to convert.
BITE THE HAND THAT FEEDS It hardly matters if you owe your newfound fame and fortune to a particular film franchise – never be afraid to turn around and bitch about it for all it’s worth. Following in the footsteps of Katherine Heigl’s attack on Grey’s Anatomy and Knocked Up and Megan Fox’s unfavourable remarks about Michael Bay, Kirsten Stewart can’t stop slating the Twilight franchise. Needless to say, no one expects Katherine Heigl to get another job and everyone expects to see Megan Fox’s Transformers character die in the most undignified way possible, but Stewart is actually
risking death by killing the dream of Twihard fans all over the world.
THE EPIC COMEBACK Three words: Robert Downey, Junior. ‘Epic’ is the only way to describe this man’s rebound from the darkest depths of a crack addiction to an unstoppable rise to the highest reaches of stardom. But he is not the only one. We’ve seen Mickey Rourke bounce back with The Wrestler and watched Britney Spears go from a head-shaven crazy to sort of normal. Everyone loves an underdog, especially when they’ve been to the bottom and come out fighting (see all 600 Rocky movies for reference). If there’s one thing we’ve learnt from the last ten years of celebrity tabloid gossip, it’s this: you can hit rock bottom, but there is always a way to come back and be better than ever.
Beyond the LOL The top 5 new sayings in our vocabulary 1. Hot mess Matted bedhead, smudged self-tanner, covered in paint, sick, or food - lady, you are looking a hot mess. Usage: "This morning on my way to lectures I could have sworn I saw Johnny on a walk of shame. He was a total hot mess - still wearing the petticoat of the Little Bo Peep costume but missing the staff and the inflatable sheep!’ 2. Tweet An open forum where the common man can both converse with the likes of Oprah Winfrey and be his own narrator, one monotonous detail at time. Usage: “@OprahWinfrey, please select me for your 2009 Spring giveaway!!! “Woke up, went for a quick jog, did 50 push-ups and ate a bran muffinblegh! No pain no gain, right? LOLZ!” 3. Fugly When something is so glaringly visually offensive that one is rendered momentarily unable to separate the worlds 'fucking' and 'ugly' and the result is one horrified, exclamatory utterance. Usage: "Girlfriend is wearing all-white trainers with woolly black socks?? Fugly!!!"
4. Facebook-stalk It starts innocently enough. Determined to evade your essay, you browse your friend's Facebook album of your wild night out. You notice a cute guy tagged in one of the pictures. You click on him. Yes, he is in the Edinburgh network! You look at his profile pictures, then his recent tags. 867 pictures later when you have reached all the way back to his 2006 Christmas holiday photos, you are momentarily horrified at yourself but then breathe a sigh of relief with the realisation that no one will ever know. Usage: "Did you guys manage to revise last night? I procrastinated in every possible way I could think of: did laundry, cleaned the kitchen, made some tea, Facebook-stalked..." 5. WTF-expletive. Kiddie-friendly expression of outrage. Appropriate for every shocking occasion, whether typed or gasped. Usage: “He said that it’s not me, that it’s him. That he just wants to be friends. I watched He’s Just Not that Into You....WTF!”
Nell Frabotta
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Tuesday December 1 2009 film@studentnewspaper.org
FILM
Review
LAW ABIDING CITIZEN
5 Films...
DIRECTED BY F. GARY GRAY IT’S SUCH a boring name for a movie isn’t it? Considering a man is killed using a circular saw and a Caribbean puffer fish, well that’s surely got to have broken at least a couple of laws. Right? It’s also quite misleading. Engineer and family man Clyde Shelton (Gerard Butler) is a law abiding citizen for all of about 40 seconds before two psychopaths bust into his home and murder his wife and daughter. Unfortunately, due to a bungled forensic investigation and the egotism of smart-ass prosecutor Nick “would-rather-go-toa-deathrow-execution-than-his-owndaughter’s-cello-recital” Rice ( Jamie Foxx), only one of the killers is brought to justice. So begins the lament of Clyde. That is, until ten years pass and Clyde begins targeting those involved in the botched trial in some of the most orchestrated and elaborate murders I have ever seen (had I never seen Saw. Or Dexter. Or Death Wish). Law Abiding Citizen drifts between the genres in a haphazard fashion. It’s like letting my gran drive; the changes are clumsy and forced but we are moving ahead at such speed that you can’t help but look forward to see what hap-
PARANORMAL ACTIVITY DIRECTED BY OREN PELI THERE’S NO anaesthetic like anticipation. The commotion surrounding this low-budget, high-impact horror brings to mind the days of BCG immunisation in schools. A procession of classmates would stumble out from behind a sterile partition, clutching their arms and warning others of the medieval torture ahead – but when the injection came, the ‘sharp scratch’ was over before your eyes could water. Tearing across the Atlantic in a tidal wave of superlatives and monstrous profit margins, this ‘found footage’ diary of a haunting has finally hit British shores, promising the most disturbing night-vision scenes since Paris Hilton’s lobotomised fumblings with a green-hued penis. What it delivers is a straightforward transplantation of the Blair Witch format to the classic ‘evil spirit disrupts domestic bliss’ scenario. It frightens then falters, menaces but never surprises, ultimately failing to warrant the adult nappies of a forewarned audience. The story is distinctly familiar. Insufferable ‘bro’ Micah (Micah Sloat) buys a fancy camcorder, hoping to spot whatever malign force has tormented his girlfriend Katie (Katie Featherston) since childhood. Wealthy, well-adjusted and attractive, both make prime demon fodder and it’s not long before a technophobic poltergeist starts thumping around their house like Godzilla in jackboots, silently tugging at bedclothes and generally being the worst third wheel a couple could endure. The film comprises three weeks of Micah’s footage, abridged into unsettling time-lapses of the vulnerable sleeping couple and futile attempts to placate the spirit. Katie shrieks and trembles, Micah sneers and beats his chest, an ineffectual psychic warns them not to taunt the fiend with hi-def technology and runs away.
17
...Best of the decade
OH, THAT'S A SURPRISE: Clyde wasn't expecting the Mentos and Diet Coke thing to work pens next. At times you are watching a gripping legal thriller. Clyde, who is imprisoned but never convicted, uses his extensive knowledge of criminal law to gently tug at the strings of the legal system tying Nick and his team up in knots. Aha! you think, he’s using the law as his weapon. But just as you think the battle will be fought in court, Clyde bizarrely orders a medium-rare T-bone steak and decrees that if it is not served at exactly one o’clock, a high-profile lawyer will die. And just like that we are catapulted back into the bloated puffer fish territory of Saw. At its heart though, Law Abiding Citizen is a cat-and-mouse chase be-
tween Nick and Clyde. It’s the tension between the two, with Clyde always two moves ahead, that keeps the film interesting. That said, there isn’t much in the way of chemistry between Gerard Butler and Jamie Foxx. While it’s nice to see Butler in a non-Persian-punting role, Foxx’s performance is flat by comparison. Any number of actors spring to mind who would suit the role better, but I guess Denzel must have been busy or something. Clyde promises early on that things are going to “get biblical”. To be fair, the appearance of a number of plot holes and inconsistencies strike me as more farcical than biblical. Specifically the origin of Clyde’s tactical prowess
and explanation of how he kills while imprisoned. But these quirks come late enough in the movie to be forgiven completely. Law Abiding Citizen took a chance by mixing genres and it paid off. The tension and drama are ratcheted right up there and the seemingly odd changes keep the plot unpredictable and enthralling. I just wish they’d given it a better name.
After an odd mix of clichés and quirks, curiosity prevails and all goes horribly wrong, leaving local police to discover the video and helpfully donate hours of crucial evidence to Paramount Pictures (who promptly chop out the boring bits and blur any brand logos). A flimsy plot aside, immersive camerawork and remarkably natural debuts from both leads provide otherwise absent credibility. Filmed in writer-director Oren Peli’s house and costing just $15,000, that it achieves moments of nauseating dread with just a dark hallway and not a dollop of gore is undeniably impressive. Its jerky, accelerated nocturnal sequences, eeriest when Katie starts sleepwalking, gather force at an exponential rate – but what should accumulate into a relentless siege
on the nerves instead permits too many chances to breathe, each pay-off segueing into the next day’s bickering. The special effects that garnish the final ordeal seem vulgar next to Peli’s economical approach – another symptom of the re-cut and polish applied by whoever added the unabashedly mercenary tagline, ‘Don’t see it alone’. This film feels cut out for cult success, not the pandemic marketing frenzy that engulfed America.
NATIVITY!
Lyle Brennan
Screening Times Cineworld Daily Weekdays: 11.05am, 1.25pm, 3.50pm, 6.15pm, 8.50pm
Craig Wilson
Screening Times Cineworld Daily:12.50pm,3.25pm,5.55pm, 8.35pm.
DIRECTED BY DEBBIE ISITT NATIVITY! IS the year's second attempt (after A Christmas Carol) to sell the spirit of Christmas via the medium of film. It tells the story of a teacher (Martin Freeman) accidentally telling everyone that Hollywood producers are coming to film the school's nativity. Predictably, mayhem ensues as he tries to stop his lie snowballing. Freeman is surprisingly good in this film, endearing himself to the audience with a believable performance that actually makes you care about his character. However, he’s let down by a script that makes him do wildly out of character things such as take a class on a field trip to see a live birth. Other performances are patchy at best. The child actors used in the film are endearingly awful and win the audience’s affections, but class assistant Mr Poppy (Marc Wootton) is unbearably annoying, acting like the horribly mutated cousin of Danny from Hot Fuzz. The film falters as director Debbie Isitt focuses on the antics of the horrific man-child and other cameos (Ricky Tomlinson and Alan Carr) also fall flat, though are passed over quickly enough to forgive. Ultimately the gags are predictable and often unfunny but for the most part Freeman’s anchor of reality and the general likeability of the children pull it through. Only when Isitt allows the film to focus on Wootton’s character and moments of sheer idiocy does the film grind to a halt and drop it from an enjoyable three stars to a just bearable two. Michael Tait
UMMMM...WHO'S THAT ? Death couldn't stop Jeremy Beadle from gathering material for his popular Saturday evening light entertainment programme
Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 12.25pm, 3.05pm, 5.35pm, 8.05pm
Last King of Scotland (2006) Last King of Scotland is the fictionalised account of a Scottish doctor ( James McAvoy) who finds favour with Idi Amin (Forest Whitaker). Direction by Kevin MacDonald is effective and McAvoy is admirable, but both are blown away by an explosive performance from Whitaker who captures both the simple charisma and the ferocity of Amin’s temper in one fell swoop. (MT) This is England (2006) This powerful portrayal of 80s Britain successfully captures the spirit of the skinhead movement. This backdrop coupled with a beautifully naive performance by Thomas Turgoose as a young tearaway. There is a harrowing intensity to this film which proves both uncomfortable and compelling to watch. (HC) Fahrenheit 9/11 (2004) OK. Not strictly speaking a 'great' film in the sense that The Last King of Scotland is great. It won't be re-watched in years to come. But it is a highly significant film. It inaugurated a new genre of liberal documentaries highlighting the excesses of neo-conservatism and spurring us all to do more about it. The five mintes at the start that show the black members of Congress appealing against alleged electoral fraud is very moving and painful to watch. (DNH) Billy Elliot (2000) One of the best British films of the decade. Combines a compelling story with great acting from veteran Julie Walters and newcomer Jamie Bell, set against the faithfully presented backdrop of the 1984 miners' strike. Bell is a young boy pushed into boxing by his father but yearns to be a ballet dancer. Brilliant atristry combined with political incisiveness don't often go together, but Billy Elliot has them both. (DNH) The Queen (2006) Mirren, who in my eyes can absolutely do no wrong, was brilliant as the tempestous Elizabeth I and is equally succesful as her more reserved 20th century successor. The film follows the events of the summer of 1997: the election of the Labour government and the furore around the death of Princess Diana. We can never know what really goes on behind the closed doors of Buck House, but it is as realistic a picture as we are ever likely to get. Mirren shows a Queen temporarily bewildered and unsettled by the flow of events at what was a key turning point for the Royals. Martin Sheen provides great support as the fresh-faced Prime Minister; Sylvia Simms (Queen Mother) and James Cromwell (Prince Phillip) give just the right amount of comic relief. (DNH) Michael Tait, Dan Nicholson-Heap & Hannah Clark
Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Review
BIG DEAL
MUSIC 'The' Bands
Pop o e d Mon
TEN YEARS OF NOISE: NOW IN GRAPH FORM by Andy Chadwick, Ed Ballard, Catherine Sylvain
lk Fo
ell Cow
Nu Rave
Simon Cowell
'The' bands
The great folk revival
Mondeo pop
As you can see by the inexorable rise of the Simon Cowell line, we will only be a few years into the new decade before this sunbedding berk, a man who's so tasteless he went on Desert Island Discs and picked nothing but Frank Sinatra and other 'swing classics', will be the manager of 100% of the UK's best-selling pop acts. The graph doesn't lie: Cowell cannot be stopped.
The graph shows a huge explosion of 'The' bands at the beginning of the decade, as various Libertines, Strokes, Hives and Vines all decided that only adding the definite article to their band's name would assure skinny-jeaned NME-splashing notoriety. Then after a brief decline (no 'the' in Franz Ferdinand or Bloc Party), The Arctic Monkeys kick-started another wave. We're in another relative lull, suggesting that what we're dealing with here is a cyclical phenomenon.
The 00s have seen many bearded, plaidshirted folksters provide the tearful soundtrack to a generation of lovelorn hipsters. Arch miserablist Coner Oberst of Bright Eyes managed to get to number one in the States in 2005 - in both the singles and album charts. More recently there's been Fleet Foxes, Bonnie ‘Prince’ Billy, and Bon Iver, who famously retreated to a cabin in the mountains to make his breakthrough record. But things haven’t been so great in the folk department on this side of the Atlantic. Serious young hipsters with high opinions of themselves such as Noah and the Whale and Mumford & Sons made earnest, over-worthy (but high-selling) folk pop. Poor show from the UK then, but to be fair it probably helps when you have the Appalachian mountains for inspiration.
Although the boring stadium-pop juggernaut is still trundling along, this trend probably reached its zenith in the period between the release of Snow Patrol’s Final Straw and Coldplay’s X&Y, in between which came the soporific Hopes and Fears by Keane. These albums are probably still playing the Ford Mondeos of housewives and middle-management types across the land, and made music’s dullest, most uninspired men very rich indeed.
Autotune Although it’s been used by pop producers to correct less-than-perfect vocals by lazy stars for years, the 00s took laziness to new levels by making autotune a style, rather than a mere correctional tool. Lil Wayne, Kanye West, Tinchy Stryder and the undisputed king of autotune, Akon, all sold records in silly amounts using vocodered vocals. Surprisingly, no one buying these records felt duped when the artists in question were basically saying, "I can’t be arsed to sing properly, so I mumbled and got a computer to do it for me!’" There are signs of a backlash: an irate Jay-Z recorded a whole album complaining about the trend. (Inevitably, an autotuned version of the record appeared online days after release.)
Nu rave
This short-lived but memorable trend was probably best demonstrated by a promotional video for Skins; its characterizing feature was the rejection of the ‘Nu Rave’ moniker by all the artists the term was alleged to encompass. Glowering through neon make-up, the Klaxons claimed “we are not and never have been nu ravers”, while disconsolately gesturing with a glow stick.
+
+
Emo
The trend which got going in the early 00s with Blink 182 reached its highwater mark in 2006 with My Chemical Romance'sThe Black Parade, which led to excited talk of an 'emo revolution'. This term is questionable, mostly thanks to the lack of torched vehicles. And while bands like Paramore and Fall Out Boy may have cajoled a few provincial teens to angrily sweep their dip-dyed fringe across their faces, to most people the trend was never more than an endearingly impotent adolescent gesticulation.
20 09
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ne Autotu
20 01
20 NO DEAL 00
Emo
The decade in music
20 03
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+
= the noughties
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Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Review 19
Albums of the decade characters and literary sensibilities that e know lists are rubbish, unrepleave you with this album on repeat, W resentative and biased, and that you're tired of seeing them in every music involuntarily singing the chorus of publication, newspaper and website right now. We know they're full of the same, boring, unimaginative, predictable selections that place far too much emphasis on a particular genre that fits nicely in with the publication's target demographic blah blah blah. But we couldn't help it, we're ametueur music journalists, so here's a selection of our writers' favourite albums of the decade, in no particular order. INTERPOL Turn On The Bright Lights MATADOR
hilst subsequent W albums have given the band
commercial success, Interpol have rarely managed to replicate the atmospheric beauty and unrelenting tension that defines their debut album. The irresistible reverberating guitar of opener ‘Untitled’ memorably sets the bar for a record that hardly lets up on epic, sweeping melodies. 'NYC' and 'Hands Away' are fine examples of the layered sonic build up and dramatically despondent vocals that characterise the record, whilst the raw emotional outbursts of 'Obstacle 1' and '2' thrillingly contrast to the sombre acceptance of the brilliant closing tracks 'The New' and 'Leif Erikson'. It is a record of passionate and textured beauty, qualities which have made it one of the most strikingly exciting sounds of the decade.
Piers Barber MORRISSEY You Are The Quarry SANCTUARY
here are some T albums that you bear such a personal
connection with, that are so deeply woven into the fabric of your own life that you can never speak objectively about them. This 2004 album is one of them. Perhaps if you just play You Are The Quarry in a darkened room while imagining you are a fifteen-year-old depressed and lonely girl gesturing futilely out some window in a bleak provincial southern county you'll be able to understand what it means to me. Or maybe you'll just jump out the window. Catherine Sylvain THE HOLD STEADY Boys and Girls in America VAGRANT
ometimes it takes S the voice of experience to chronicle
the follies of youth. Whilst their four albums are uniformly fantastic, it's their 2006 breakthrough that contains their best songs. Booze-soaked and raw, The Hold Steady have often been dubbed the best bar band in the world. But it's a balance of honest energy and lyrical complexity that make Craig Finn's newold rock outfit worthy of the mantle of Springsteen, Thin Lizzy et al. Keyboard hooks, gruff vocals, and crunchy guitars draw the listener in, but it's the recurring
"Massive Nights"
TV ON THE RADIO Return To Cookie Mountain 4AD
he 'noughties' T has seen a vast number of compli-
Stuart Young GRIZZLY BEAR Veckatimest WARP
n summer 2008, Iquartet the Brooklyn-based was opening
for Radiohead, their ethereal anti-folk an established, viable medium. But with Veckatimest, Grizzly Bear struck gold. This is dizzy stuff, its symphonic cavalcade of chamber-pop utterly unique and refreshingly honest. The songwriting is layered and complex, emotionally immediate and in no way obscured by its obvious artistry. The lows smolder, the highs dazzle, the carnivalesque percussion of Christopher Bear and the haunting falsetto of bassist Chris Taylor pulling the whole together into a lucid masterpiece. Veckatimest is a totemic high-point for us to end the decade on. Unmissable. Mike Strizic ELBOW The Seldom Seen Kid POLYDOR
usically, the M 00s have seen the repeated rape of
substance by style. The Strokes started it, shamelessly and joyously celebrating the latter. But for every Pete Doherty and Alex Turner spawned, ten Joe Leans donned genital punishing trousers and pranced around Camden with Peaches Geldof. The music press didn't help. Between Q voting Only By The Night as 2008's Best Album, and NME deifying anything your mum might hate, the Mercury Prize was left as the only reliable barometer in British music. And so when Jools Holland handed the gong to five old blokes with baggy jeans, and only one decent haircut, you'll forgive me notching up a big win for substance. Angus Sharpe LOS CAMPESINOS! We Are Beautiful, We Are Doomed WICHITA
ometimes youth S can do it just fine on their own.
Campesinos!' second album, We are Beautiful, takes the melodic, chaotic indie pop from Hold on Now Youngster and strips the fluff, removing twee lines or self-satisfied cleverness to leave only a razor sharp dissection of how it feels to be young, confused, and alone. "Shout at the world, because the world doesn't love you / Lower yourself, because you know that you'll have to." sings Gareth Campesinos with heartbreaking intensity. Not removed are the perky glockenspiels or messy orchestra stylings, meaning We are Beautiful never, ever sounds like emo cliche. Stuart Young
cated indie bands emerge from New York, of which TV on the Radio have the worst name. Their second album, Return to Cookie Mountain, however, was undoubtedly one of the decade’s best. Its twitchy, atmospheric production is that of guitarist Dave Sitek, and track three has backing vocals by Dave Bowie. The band achieved greater commercial success with 2008’s Dear Science, but Cookie Mountain holds a special place in the hearts of glasses-wearers and distortionlovers everywhere. Mark Holland FRIGHTENED RABBIT The Midnight Organ Fight FAT CAT
arely do albums, R however good, remain firmly lodged
in your stereo for well over a year, and manage to stay just as exhilarating on the 500th listen as they were on the first. Frightened Rabbit managed to do this with their rather stunning second album, a mixture of dry Scottish humour, unbearable heartbreak and big anthemic choruses that made the filthiest lyrics seem sweet and charming when sung by a room full of people at their live shows. 'The Modern Leper' kicked off proceedings with a perfect distillation of everything that was great about Frightened Rabbit,, whilst 'Keep Yourself Warm' was a comfort for anyone who's ever woken up in a strange bed feeling that overwhelming sense of impending doom. Sad, but uplifting, in a way hardly anyone else seemed to manage this decade. Andrew Chadwick ANIMAL COLLECTIVE Merriweather Post Pavilion DOMINO
ny one of about A three Animal Collective albums
could justifiably make a claim for being one of the best of the decade, but at the beginning of this year, the New York via Baltimore band released what they called their first 'pop' album. Of coursem this being Animal Collective, 'pop' in this sense did not mean verse-chorus-verse straightforward catchy songs, it meant dreamy, psychadelic songs that pulsed with weird time signatures and obscure sounds, but somehow came together to form fantastic, euphoric melodies such as 'My Girls', which stomps along on a huge unconventional beat, backed by dreamy, repeating harmonies that induce a sort of joyous trance. It's blissful, summertime music that should be listened to all year round, made by musicians with so many ideas to throw around it makes even Radiohead seem to be slacking somewhat. Andrew Chadwick
We all want good teachers and good teaching. That’s why EUSA are running the Teaching Awards: to reward those who show real commitment to their teaching at the University of Edinburgh. Awards include University Overall High Performer Best Teacher a wards for each College Best Course Best Department Best Feedback Innovative Teaching Teaching Employable Skills Best Postgraduate Tutor E-Learning Award Internationalisation Award Nominate now at: www.eusa.ed.ac.uk/teachingawards
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Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
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20 Review
TV CHANNEL HOPPER
A
round this time of year in newspapers and magazines you will find many tedious, ponderous articles detailing the many ways this decade has irreparably changed all sorts of artistic mediums, be it films, music or TV. You will also find even more tedious, ponderous columns written by inexperienced pseudo-intellectuals, examining and discussing the thoughts brought up in the original articles, giving their uneducated, unwanted two pennies’ worth. Consider the following a mixture of the two. It would be far too easy to list the defining programmes of the last ten years, especially as most people have already come to a consensus that The Wire, The Office and The Sopranos represent the most accomplished and influential TV of the noughties. What seems more interesting is how the way we view television has changed: despite being this section’s editor, I do not own a TV. Practically every single major programme now is available either on DVD or online, whether on official streaming sites such as iPlayer and 4oD, or on the more legally dubious ones that we all know and use on rainy Sunday afternoons. This was also the era of Sky+, an invention which gave the viewer ultimate power of what he decides to watch and when. Instead of vegetating in front of a seemingly endless stream of flickering images, we can pause and rewind live TV and also record it to consume at a later date. We no longer need to follow schedules dictated to us by TV executives: for the first time in over 50 years of broadcasting, we are the ones in control of what we watch. This rise in TV ‘on demand’ seems to go hand-in-hand with the rise of the internet, another medium that is based on immediacy and has evolved tenfold in the last ten years. Not only are iPlayer and 4oD based on the web, but so is YouTube, a website which I’m sure we have all used to watch some of if not a whole programme at some point in our lives. It has recently decided to put entire programmes up in an official sense, an obvious attempt at increasing the legitimacy of their content, and expanding the notion. The internet is now the first port of call for any extra content of our favourite shows, and this decade also saw the first internet-only programmes. Contrary to what you might think, not all of these were made in a 14-year-old's basement: crime thriller Girl Number 9 was was written by James Moran, whose credits include Spooks and Doctor Who, and starred Tracy Ann Oberman and Gareth David-Lloyd of EastEnders and Torchwood fame respectively. Over the next ten years, I think we'll see an increase in the number of internet-only television projects. As for what else, well, I am neither an industry professional nor a hack experienced enough at bullshitting, so I couldn't tell you. But I do think the relationship between the web and TV will become a deeper, longerlasting affair. Paddy Douglas
Quite Interesting
Harrison Kelly pops his QI cherry - and falls in love
BRAIN FOOD: The 'Stephen Fry Limited Dartboard' was proving a hit this Christmas staple of many students' viewing tion had claimed to have passed exams Explaining the points system in the A habits and the reason why Stephen on knowledge gleaned from Wikipedia first series Fry said: “Scoring is my Fry is still a national treasure, QI reand QI. And I have to say my first time business... [Points] are taken away for turned to our screens this week for the seventh series of all that is good about pointless, but definitely impressive, general knowledge. I have to admit I was a QI virgin until a few days ago. I had heard of this programme that had produced the second enlightenment for students at the University of Edinburgh. I had even overheard conversations where fellow academics at this great institu-
was certainly memorable. Guests this week included the cream of British comedy: Alan Davies, Rob Brydon, Dara O’Briain and David Mitchell, all commanded by everyone’s favourite master of ceremonies, Mr. Fry. QI works on the basis that points are awarded for interestingness and deducted for being obvious; indeed QI actually stands for ‘Quite Interesting’.
answers which are both obvious and wrong, and they're given not so much for being correct, as for being interesting. Their level of interestingness is impartially determined by a demographically-selected customer service focus consultancy, broken down by age and sex – i.e. me. Erm ... because there is no one more broken down by age and sex than me.” This episode of QI focussed on
gardening and g-roceries (self styled as BOGOF) and over the next 30 minutes my general knowledge increased tenfold. ‘Fact of the Programme’ for me had to be the revelation that in 1847 Sir Charles Isham introduced the very first gnomes to his garden, hoping to attract real-life gnomes to congregate there. I am not sure where, I am not sure when or even why, but I do know that I will be whipping that fact out over the next week in social circles, if only to receive the knowing nod from fellow QI watchers that I am one of them now. QI could so easily have become a programme for ‘gentleman gardeners’, but the genius mix of guests and Fry’s wit have made the show a positive step for contemporary TV scheduling that seems to be either dumbing down or hiking up. QI fits neatly in between these two extremes, at time ridiculously childlike whilst at others almost, dare I say it, rivalling University Challenge. Perhaps not. Taking a look at the programme’s website the philosophy that the show was built upon becomes clear: the stance that everything in the world, even that which appears to be the most boring, is "quite interesting" if looked at in the right way. This could become my new mantra. However, delve a little deeper into the website and you will discover “neither haggis, whisky, porridge, clan tartans or kilts are Scottish.” Shocking. Obviously nobody has told the guys over at STV that. Long may QI enlighten the world.
Embarrassing Old Bodies
Debbie Hicks watches OAPs get examined by GPs, all in the name of entertainment
A
ll the necessary preparations had been made: it had been three hours since I last ate, the TV screen was stationed a good three metres away from my (unfortunately perfect) eyes and the path to the toilet was hurdle-free. Confident, I sat down to watch Embarrassing Old Bodies, 50 minutes of mortifying medical procedures which I thought would see me swearing a blood oath to polish myself off at 35, assuming the present strategy of knocking back several litres of paint-stripper quality wine in one sitting doesn’t succeed. But I have to say, it wasn’t altogether what I expected. Sure, the content was fairly predictable, with dodgy prostates, incontinence, nymphomaniac septuagenarians (don’t worry, we’re spared footage of that) and the menopause all being the focus of discussion, but the material failed to go beyond that and left many crucial questions unasked. The two presenters are outstanding specimens of the human condition: Dr Christian Jessen is a mass of flawless skin and rippling muscle marred only by an alarmingly small forehead, and his female counterpart Dr Pixie McKenna is all blooming smiles atop a lithe body that is in the throes of what is no doubt the perfect pregnancy. I was under the impression we’d left this
idyllic (and slightly misogynistic) picture of bodily perfection somewhere in the 1940s. Pixie and Christian introduce us to a variety of age-induced illnesses in a series of familiar shots: a patient sits with their sour-faced spouse in a clinic somewhere, has some very invasive footage taken of their surgery and
emerges doe-eyed and beaming to walk hand-in-hand somewhere appropriately scenic. It’s all wonderful and happy and well and good, but it all seems pretty superficial. The programme suffers the usual Channel 4 structure of a content summary, followed by about four minutes of actual content (read: ill OAPs being
A&E: NHS cost-cutting has led to combining three doctors into one.
patronised by a man half their age and twice their size) inevitably concluding with what you vainly hope will be a different, but always turns out to be the same, content summary. It’s not the best recipe for cutting-edge documentary and you are left with the distinct impression that the programmers either think you have the attention span of an adolescent goldfish or just ran out of material. The topics covered are very common and, yes, terribly embarrassing, but there are some pretty crucial questions that aren’t even mentioned: are these treatments available on the NHS? How effective is the surgery in the long run? What is a procedure's success rate? You simply can’t help but wonder which stories weren’t covered because they didn’t reach a suitably neat conclusion. Yes, these issues need to be discussed openly and shamelessly, and for that I heartily encourage you to go and watch it. The symptoms of prostate cancer and menopause are very useful to know (as is the fact there’s a 300 percent rise in STIs in the over65s – who knew?) but don’t expect anything too investigative. Oh, and remember to have something to hide behind for the operating theatre. That was a hideous mistake.
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Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
21 Review
TECHNOLOGY
You creedy beggar!
TECHIN' THE MICKEY
Jonathan Mowat dons his hoodie and earns himself a fifteenth-century ASBO ASSASSIN'S CREED 2 X360, PS3 £39.99-49.99 UBISOFT
he original Assassin's Creed was, T I admit, one of my favourite games. However, when mentioning
to a friend how much I had enjoyed it, I was bombarded with criticism over how terrible it was. In a vain attempt to prove him wrong, I unearthed the first game for a bit of a play, and to my horror, I realised how unbelievably repetitive and oddly boring it really is; nothing like how I remembered it. Needless to say, I was more than a little bit worried for Assassin's Creed II. After the obligatory catch up on Assassins Creed, I’m roaming the streets of Florence as a hooded teenager, Ezio, in a story that spans almost thirty years through Renaissance Italy. Unlike Assassins Creed, which had tedious training levels, its sequel sneaks its lessons into the first mission, outlining the story of betrayal and corruption between the powerful families of Italy and then leaving you to don your infamous cloak and become an assassin in your own time. The major problem with the first Assassin's Creed was that, after half an hour, there was nothing new for you to see. All those compulsory side missions in preparation for your big moment were repeated over and over again. Pickpocket, eavesdrop, rinse, repeat. Assassin's Creed II has far more to offer, with optional side missions and mini games galore, all of which contribute in some way to the main quest – if
A
SMOOTH CRIMINAL: 'Is that a halberd in your pocket or are you just...oh, it's a halberd' you decide to skip them in favour of relentless killing however, that’s not a problem, as the flowing and engrossing missions which help tell the story make up for your laziness, linking everything together nicely, with objectives ranging from sneaking through guarded crypts, to one-man-army assaults of fortresses. Of course, such feats would be difficult for any man by himself, so Assassin's Creed II teams you up (slightly ridiculously) with Leonardo da Vinci. As your very own fifteenth century ‘Q’, da Vinci provides new weapons and tools for Ezio as you progress through the game. Some of his more famous inventions even make cameo appearances – his flying machine is conveniently used to escape from a sticky situation at the top of a tower. It's not only da Vinci who can
help you, though. With the introduction of money, a whole new section of society is available for you to interact with – from blacksmiths and doctors, used to repair weapons and heal Ezio, to courtesans and thieves, hired to distract guards while you sneak into buildings unnoticed, or provide cover to avert suspicious eyes. The free running concept of Assassin's Creed still plays a prominent role, and this is my biggest issue with an otherwise excellent game. The controls are unforgiving, with many frustrating moments where a mission fails because you hit the wrong button and ran face first into a wall, or jumped off a tower because you went too close to the edge for a peek. Gradually you get used to the quick flowing parkour, but then the problem becomes the lack of challenge
in using your climbing skills to escape from guards or to reach your target. It seems that Assassins Creed II has failed to find a middle ground where free running is fun, but still tests your abilities as a player. This may simply be nitpicking, as watching your character leap and bound across the rooftops of famous Italian cities, performing death defying jumps, knowing that you are in control is stupidly fun. Assassins Creed II is a marked improvement on the first in the series, and proved that I had nothing to worry about with this sequel. Fantastic fun, it takes the best elements of the first game and builds upon them to create something that will continue to entertain no matter how many times you play it.
The south will rise again
John Rushton waves the Confederate flag and impales a nearby zombie with it LEFT 4 DEAD 2 PC, X360, PS3 £24.99-39.99 VALVE
ombie [zom-bee] - noun. 1. (In Z voodoo) The body of a dead person given the semblance of life usually
for some evil purpose. 2. (Informal) A person whose behavior or responses are wooden, an automaton. 3. (In computer games) Something that is enormous fun to hit with a cricket bat. So now you’re up to speed with everything you need to know about the story for this game – there are zombies. Kill them. It’s possibly the simplest premise since the 2D, top-down, tennisesque extravaganza that is Pong. Even Tetris and Pacman have more complicated stories. However, just like zombie films, the story isn’t what we’ve come for. We want gore, adrenaline-pumping terror, and guns. Lots of guns. And maybe a chainsaw or something. Gladly I can report that Left 4 Dead 2 delivers on all these counts, and is certainly one of the most gripping, addictive and enjoyable games I have ever played. Like last year’s original, L4D2
follows the exploits of four strangers thrown together in a zombie-ridden apocalypse. Our fabulous four are presented with five different scenarios that they must navigate in order to escape from the flesh-feasters that await you at every turn (and I do mean every turn). Furthermore, thanks to one of the game’s best features – an artificial intelligence engine dubbed ‘the Director’ – no matter how many times you play, you will never know which turn. Though you’ll probably know how many… it’s usually lots. In L4D2 all the the favourites from the previous game are back, bolstered by some new recruits. The horde of ‘normal’ zombies are enhanced with new abilities. Some are fire resistant, others are kitted out in riot gear, some are camouflaged with mud, and occasionally you might encounter a zombie clown whose squeaky shoes give away your location. And there are new special infected: The Jockey, a particularly troublesome nuisance who leaps up onto your head and steers you toward the horde. The Spitter, who spits acid at you – a bit like Reptile from Mortal Kombat, or Ruby Wax in general conversation. Finally The Charger, a juggernaut who rampages at you, and – if you’re unlucky enough to get caught
– repeatedly smashes your head into the floor. With all these new zombies lurking about, new weapons are definitely required to take them down. Fortunately, L4D2 happily provides them. The in-game arsenal has been significantly expanded; featuring a healthy supply of melee weapons. There is nothing quite as exhilirating as finding yourself cut off from your party by the horde, and resolving to charge head-first into the fray madly wielding a chainsaw. The major problem L4D2 faces is that the original, still only a year old, remains a survival horror masterpiece. So where do Valve (also the architects of the stunning Half-Life series) go from there? Basically, they have fixed all the slight problems from the first, and while the details mentioned may seem small and superficial, they go a long way to making the game a much better experience. And the new scenarios really up the stakes this time round, not just with the inclusion of an overall plot arc
connecting them – I don’t want to give away too much, but watch out for ‘Hard Rain’ where you’ll have to fight your way through a flooding sugar mill. The game is still geared at co-op play, but don’t be put off – the AI players make for an equally enjoyable single-player experience, and if you go online you can still play as the zombies, which is always good for a laugh. L4D2 is, for my money, the best survival horror out there (yes, even better than the first one). So grab your weapon of choice – I call shotgun! – and go get some.
s you have probably already read several times on these pages, this is The Student's final issue of the decade. Technology has certainly come a long way in the past ten years. The modern human now looks lost and confused without a mobile phone in his hand, and you can download porn fifty times faster than you could in the primeval, barbarous nineties. Yet alongside these notable achievements there have been major technological hiccups. On November 20, after fourteen months of inactivity, extensive repairs costing £14 million, and a truly bizarre incident involving a rogue chunk of baguette, everybody's favourite black hole machine the Large Hadron Collider was finally restarted, and the search for the elusive Higgs-Boson particle (hyperbolised by the media as the 'God' particle as if it was some sort of plot device in a Dan Brown novel) is up and running again. If we're being honest, it wasn't the most impressive of starts for the £6 billion particle accelerator. After disappointing apocalypse-mongerers around the world by not destroying the universe, the LHC then went and (with an irony that can only be described as delicious) blew itself up, running for a pathetic nine days before an electrical fault caused a leak of six tonnes of liquid helium and destroyed several enormously expensive magnets. This led to the wonderfully absurd theory that the Higg's Boson was travelling backwards through time to sabotage itself in order to prevent itself from destroying the universe. The fact that the LHC had been running perfectly well for just over a week without so much as a glimpse of existential obliteration was curiously omitted from the paper. At the time of writing, the LHC is still up and running, and should it continue functioning without annihilating either itself or everything around it, there should be enough collected data to know whether the Higg-Boson particle exists or not in around twelve months, potentially the first great scientific discovery (or embarrasment) of 2010. Of course, I couldn't do a nostalgic Tech column without positing a favourite game of the decade. For me, it's got to be Half Life 2. It was simply so well crafted, seamlessly melding so many varied scenarios from skulking through zombie-infested Ravenholm with the beautifully insane Father Grigori to battling alongside Alyx in the depths of the political prison Nova Prospekt; I've replayed it more than any other game, and I will definitely continue to do so. Richard Lane
Puzzles
Kate says:
“
Nothing tastes as good as being [freakishly] skinny feels." The Student hopes Kate Moss will eat her words. Ha!
Puzzles
The Student Crossword #12
Solutions
Sudoku #12
ACROSS
Sudoku is a logic-based number-placement puzzle. The objective is to fill the 9×9 grid so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3×3 boxes (also called blocks or regions) contains the digits from 1 to 9 only once.
Hitori #12 The object of Hitori is to eliminate numbers by shading in the squares such that remaining cells do not contain numbers that appear more than once in either a given row or column. Filled-in cells cannot be horizontally or vertically adjacent, although they can be diagonally adjacent. The remaining un-filled cells must form a single component (i.e there must be no isolated numbers
CROSSWORD
HITORI
9. Consistently clumsy (8-5) 10. Permit (3) 11. Pertaining to the stars (7) 12. It's coming up (4) 13. Good's superlative(4) 15. Three-legged seat (5) 17. Ascertain dimensions (7) 19. Musical drama (5) 21. Doze (3) 23. Small nails (5) 24. No good (7) 25. Palpitate (5) 27. Takes legal proceedings against (4) 28. Figure out (4) 30. Outlaws (7) 32. Chopping tool (3) 33. Good with numbers (13)
1. Doesn't pay government charges (3-6) 2. Capital of Ghana (5) 3. Probability (4) 4. Hans Christian (8) 5. Ancient Greek god (6) 6. Entrance (4) 7. Gazebo (9) 8. Eight musicians (5)
14. Rupture (5) 16. Nobby no mates (5) 18. The worst of all foes (9) 20. Helper (9) 22. Owner of a tavern (8) 26. Annular (6) 27. Slap (5)
29. Most students are...(5) 30. End of a cigarette (4) 31. Vessel (4)
SCOTT MAHONY
SUDOKU
DOWN
Got your eye on the ball? Email sport@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday December 1 2009 studentnewspaper.org
Sport 23
Karate club on the up
Injury Time
TAKES A LOOK AT THE WORLD OF SPORT
Brilliant Barca
Emma Brock explains why the Edinburgh University Shukokai Karate Club is worthy of praise
IN UNISON: Members of the Shukokai Karate Club show off their Kata in competition eng Cheng, all of whom studied at the University of Edinburgh. Euan Tracey was awarded the Student Coach of the Year award for 2009. The club also conducts gradings each semester which test what people have learned in that time.
In this way it is possible to achieve a black belt in the four years most students are at university for. Furthermore, the karate club also conduct seminars to widen the knowledge of the martial art and to encourage cross training.
FLYING FEET: An Edinburgh fighter goes for the jugular in one of many successful competitions
OLIVER PROCTOR
by winning its 12th Scottish Universities Championships next year. With the club also achieving success in the British Universities Championships in recent years, it represents one of the most successful in Edinburgh and offers students an ideal opportunity to learn a new sport or to showcase their talent across the country. While many people will be aware of the success enjoyed by other sports clubs in the university, the karate club has flown under the radar somewhat. Although the lacrosse club has won a national title and the football club have reached the Third Round of the Scottish Cup, there is little doubt that the men and women who practice this ancient art are worthy of a mention. The club’s training sessions are not as traditional as other karate clubs and offer a wide range of techniques. The coaches have many different influences and are keen to pass them on to the students. The main method of training is partnerbased which allows people to learn how to actually use the techniques, rather than just standing in lines and replicating the coaches. In this way the training sessions are less formal and much more fun, and members can learn and perfect techniques at a much faster rate. In an average training session there may be influences from traditional karate, muay tai, jiu-jitsu and judo. The club’s head coach is Dave Orr who won the PricewaterhouseCoopers coach of the year award in 2005. The other three coaches are Euan Tracey, Jason O'Toole and Oush-
HENRIETTA FINDLAY
he Edinburgh University ShuT kokai Karate Club is aiming to continue its dominance in Scotland
Last year Gerard O'Dea taught several seminars based on his SPEAR self defence training system. Away from the training side of the club, there is a strong interest in competitive karate. The club competes in competitions under World Karate Federation (WKF) rules and the two main aspects of these competitions involve kata and kumite. Kata are prearranged forms of movement which can be done individually or in a team. There are many different types of kata and many applications are derived from them. Kumite is sparring and under WKF rules this is semi contact and involves points awarded for techniques aimed to different parts of the body. In terms of nationwide success, the club has won the Scottish University Sports Championships for 11 years in a row, and has also previously won the British University Sports Championships on four consecutive occasions. Members of the club also compete outside university championships to great success. One member, Chloe McLean, is highly successful in national and international competitions. She recently won bronze at the Junior World Championships in Morocco. It is worth noting that most of the sporting team took up the sport when they started university, and have achieved fantastic individual successes. Recently, a cohort of members had success at the Wishaw Grand Prix, and two members won medals at the SKGB championships last year. For further information about the club visit the website at http:// shukokai.eusu.ed.ac.uk/index.html
ON AN unusually wet Catalonian night in August of last year, Pep Guardiola led out Barcelona for his first competitive match as manager, a home UEFA Champions League qualifier against Wisla Krakow. His team ran out 4-0 winners, which despite a 1-0 defeat in Poland a fortnight later was enough to take them into the group stage. Nine months later, in Rome, they lifted the famous cup. A fortnight from now, Barcelona will step out into the contrasting desert heart of Abu Dhabi for the second Semi-Final of the 2009 FIFA Club World Cup. There, they will attempt to become the first team ever to win every trophy available in the same year (and hold them all at the same time). To do so would be unprecedented in the history of football. History has seen previous contenders. Ajax arguably did something comparable in 1972, winning the Eredivisie; KNVB, European and Intercontinental Cups; and European SuperCup. But there was no Dutch SuperCup (the Johan Cruyff-schaal didn’t exist); the Intercontinental Cup was only for Europe and South America; and the European SuperCup was unofficial. Neither did they hold all trophies at once, exiting the 1972-73 KNVB Cup shortly before that SuperCup was secured. Where the ‘Total Football’ of Kovacs and Cruyff fell short, Barcelona now hope to prevail. Others too have come close. Internazionale lost the 1965 Coppa Italia Final 1-0 to Juventus to deny them a clean sweep - while Celtic suffered an excruciating 1-0 play-off defeat (after tying 2-2 over 2 legs) to Argentina’s Racing Club in the 1967 Intercontinental Cup, having already won the Scottish Cup, League Cup, First Division and European Cup. This seems to play little on the mind of 38-year-old Guardiola, who has said he may retire in the near future – the pressures of managing a club like Barcelona proving allconsuming, exhausting, expectations perhaps weighing too heavily on a comparatively young man’s shoulders. Not for nothing does their Main Stand carry the slogan “Mes que un Club” – “More than a Club”. Yet Guardiola, with remarkably just 84 competitive first-team games on his management CV, is on the cusp on writing himself into the uppermost echelon of football’s pantheon of legends. Special mention must also be made of Pedro Rodriguez, Barcelona’s slight winger and coincidentally at best a squad player recently. He will become the first man ever to score in six top-level club competitions in one season if he can net a goal in Abu Dhabi. There might not be many reasons to park yourself in front of some obscure satellite TV channel on what is the last Saturday before Christmas – but a club making footballing history? Carving out a triumph unrivalled in the long and illustrious annals of the beautiful game? Setting a benchmark effectively unprecedented in sport? That’s reason enough, for certain.
Kenny McLean
Sport studentnewspaper.org Tuesday December 1 2009
Anyone for karate?
23
Edinburgh's Shukokai Karate Club expect further success this year P
Edinburgh defeated narrowly by group leaders Edinburgh
7
Birmingham 11
AS EDINBURGH waited to take on their biggest rivals in the BUCS league, nerves were high. This season the women’s 1st lacrosse team have struggled in the opening minutes of their matches and the match against Birmingham was no exception. With four quick goals from Birmingham in the first five minutes it was looking like an easy win for the visitors. Edinburgh did not let their determination drop however, and soon brought the score back to 4-2 with goals from Ella Newsom and Sophie Sweerts. Birmingham replied with a sneaky goal fed in from behind to extend their advantage and from the centre draw the ball rapidly made its way back down to the Birmingham attackers but Edinburgh’s defence remained strong and confident. Birmingham also defended stoutly and subsequently the game turned into a midfield battle. Soon the ball was flying from one end of the pitch to the other with both goalkeepers performing well. A mistake by the Edinburgh team and an excellent save from goalie Jo Roele gave the home side a lucky escape but such luck was to be short lived. A weak Birmingham shot rolled over the goal line putting the English side 6-2 in front. This was followed soon after by two more well-worked Birmingham goals to give the visitors a commanding 8-2 advantage over the struggling hosts. After a disappointing start from Edinburgh it was clear a motivational talk from captain Sophie Sweerts and vice captain Rosie Townsend was needed. An excellent start to the second half from the home side saw confidence levels rise. However, following a midfield turnover, a fast break from Birmingham saw them place the ball in the back of the net making the score 9-2, a seemingly insurmountable deficit for Edinburgh. More missed shots by Edinburgh increased team tensions as the endto-end nature of the game continued. At last, a clever give and go by Caroline Jones and Ella Newsom saw Jones score a great goal putting Edinburgh back on the scoreboard at 9-3. This seemed to give Edinburgh the confidence they needed. With Alice
Grove-Smith carefully working the ball around goal and the Edinburgh attack looking more settled Rosie Townsend made a good cut which resulted in a goal to make things more respectable at 9-4. With confidence levels continuing to rise the Edinburgh midfield began to get to grips with their opponents and soon the ball was back in Edinburgh’s attack. The initial attempt on goal missed but Pippa McCosh chased down the rebound and hit the back of the net making it 9-5. A great pick up and drive from the centre from Tash Barr resulted in an excellent overhead pass to Ella Newsom who moved the Birmingham goalkeeper off balance to score leav-
ing it at 9-6. Time was ticking but Edinburgh’s spirits remained high and hopes of a comeback were rekindled. However, a misjudged tackle by an Edinburgh defender gave Birmingham a free position. Defensive pressure and good movement by goalkeeper Jo Roele saw the initial shot saved but Birmingham managed to retain possession and converted to push the lead to four goals at 10-6. As tensions started to rise Edinburgh called a ‘time out’. Motivational words from the sidelines saw the capital side return to the pitch with even more determination. This showed as they gained possession and launched another attack. A clinical goal from Edinburgh defender Tash Barr saw
the score line narrow to 10-7. The Edinburgh attack continued to spurn chances however, handing control of the game back over to Birmingham who played a clever possession game to run down the clock. As time ticked by Edinburgh were forced to put pressure the opposition goalkeeper to attempt to regain possession. Excellent pressure from the whole Edinburgh team forced Birmingham offside returning the ball to Edinburgh’s control. However a poor shot merely passed control back to Birmingham and signalled the end of Edinburgh’s comeback hopes. Unfortunately for the hosts Birmingham added a late goal before the final whistle taking the final score to
STICKS UP: Edinburgh's women in BUCS league action against Birmingham
11-7. Edinburgh had a spirited second half in which they showed much promise. If they had started the match in this way, it is unlikely Birmingham would have emerged victorious. Edinburgh should take confidence from their second half performance as they bid to recover from this setback and ensure that they are still among the challengers as the competition hots up next semester. This result leaves Edinburgh lying in fourth position in the BUCS league table, tied on points with Loughborough in third. Birmingham sit at the top of the table with a 100% winning record. Durham sit in second, three points behind the leaders.
JOANNA SWEENEY
Lacrosse
Joanna Sweeney reports as Edinburgh lose despite spirited second half display at Peffermill