Tuesday March 9 2010 | Week 9
CULTURE COMMISSION C U LT U R E
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S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2009 S I N C E 1887
T H E U K ' S O LD E S T S T U D EN T N EW S PA P ER
Student press censored by Napier Students' Association The Journal removed from campus over defamation claims
NEIL HODGINS
Harrison Kelly
THE MEADOWS HALF MARATHON GETS OFF TO A GOOD START: The question on everyone's mind - Where's Wally?
Record turnout elects Rawlings EUSA President Stevie Wise, Amy Woodgate and Sam Hansford take Vice Presidencies Jordan Campbell LIZ RAWLINGS has secured the Edinburgh University Students Association Presidency for 2010-2011 after victory over rivals Laura Jayne Baker and Tom Crewther. Results revealed on Thursday evening gave Rawlings 55 per cent of the overall vote with 3,864 votes. Baker and Crewther secured 36 and 9 per cent of the vote respectively, with 2,864 and 608 votes each. Victory was all the more rewarding for Rawlings after having narrowly lost out by less than 200 votes in last year’s election to Thomas Graham. In her victory speech, Rawlings exclaimed: "I have never been happier in life than right now’, adding that she
had ‘waited a year for this". She also complimented Laura Jayne Baker’s campaign and current President Graham for ‘teaching her a thing or two’ about electioneering last year. Rawlings, former editor of The Student and current Postgraduate Convener, campaigned upon the platform of ‘education matters’, promising to provide a better Director of Studies system and to fight for a 24-hour library. Other key policies include providing free language classes for all students by tapping into funding available from ILA Scotland, and to oppose further budget cuts to Higher Education in Scotland. Speaking to The Student shortly after results were announced, Rawlings said she was ‘lost for words’, and ‘ready to start trying to make the difference for Edinburgh students.’ Current EUSA President Thomas Graham told The Student: “She was the best candidate for the job and I’m sure that she’ll do a great job next year. She’s got the record and the experience from her time in the students’ association to get the job done next year and I’m ex-
cited to be handing over to her”. The Vice President Academic Affairs position was taken by Stevie Wise, who ran a slate campaign with Rawlings. Key manifesto points similarly included an improved DOS system with a two year guarantee, and a 24-hour library. Wise secured an overwhelming victory of 3,621 votes, over the 1,209 taken by Ross Stalker. Wise said she was ‘thrilled to have won’, thanking everyone who had helped her, including her mother who was present in the hall. She also praised Stalker for his campaign efforts, adding that they had a ‘great relationship’ throughout the contest. In the other head-to-head contest of the election, Amy Woodgate took the Vice President Societies and Activite seat over Neil Pooran, the pair receiving 2,596 and 1,662 votes respectively. Woodgate, currently President of the Ballroom Dancing Society, gave a brief acceptance speech, thanking those that had helped in the campaign and saying “[she] was looking
forward to speaking to everyone individually”. The Vice President Services position was secured by Improverts producer Sam Hansford after a comfortable victory of 3,360. Ellie Price came second in the contest, receiving 1,842 votes, and Gavin Hume polled third with 289. Accepting his position, Hansford paid special tribute to his campaign team, in particular to manager Gabi Jones for her ‘fantastic efforts’ throughout the race. The overall election turnout was reported by EUSA to be over 7,600, representing almost 28 per cent of students at the university. Commenting on the turnout, Graham said: “The fact that students turn out in such numbers is a fantastic reflection on both candidates and the Students Association. “It shows that people really do value the Students’ Association as a force for good in the University, and leaves dead the idea that ‘apathy is rife’ Continued on page 3 »
THE JOURNAL has been removed from Edinburgh Napier University campus over allegations that the student newspaper has been involved in defamatory activity. Over 1,000 copies of the publication have been reportedly taken off campus by Napier Students' Association after claims that the 3rd March edition contained ‘unsubstantiated comments’ that constituted defamation against the current NSA President Kasia Bylinska. A leaked email to all election candidates and seen by The Student shows that Ms Bylinska lodged a complaint against NSA Presidential candidate Nathan Sparling, who is proposing a vote of no confidence against Ms Bylinska. The email continues, “These allegations were further supported by 3rd March edition of The Journal when, under the front page headline 'War Breaks Out at NSA', various attributed and non-attributed comments appeared in an article in which Nathan Sparling discusses his plan to no confidence KB and gives some reasons.” The Elections Committee upheld the complaint and resolved “To instruct the removal of copies of The Journal from campus – and inform the editor of the publication that this was a temporary measure.” When contacted by The Student the day after the decision, Paris Gourtsoyannis, Chief Editor of The Journal said that none of the paper’s staff were contacted by NSA prior to the decision. “All of us at The Journal feel rather aggrieved that NSA has chosen to take this action. Not only does it go against the values of free speech and freedom of the press, but it has no basis in law or under the NSA constitution”, said Continued on page 2 »
Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
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What’s in this issue NEWS »p1-7
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The Journal brought into row between NSA electoral candidates From front page...
THE SCOTTISH PLAY p4 Macbeith goes North
UNIVERSITY CHALLENGE p7 Edinburgh gets the boot
COMMENT »p8-9 PIMPS AND 'HOES... p9
Comment searches for evidence of sexism in 'Pimp my School'
Mr Gourtsoyannis. The news broke on Saturday afternoon via Twitter. A hashtag ‘#journalgate’ is now being used in relation to the incident. Attempts made by The Student this weekend to contact Ms Bylinska to comment on the decision of NSA have been unsuccessful as the NSA President will be out of the office until 15th March. Nathan Sparling was unable to comment on the matter due to time constraints, other than to say that the issue was now in the hands of his MP and solicitor. A Facebook group “Bring The Journal back to Edinburgh Napier” has also been formed protesting the decision, with members accusing NSA of censorship and defending
the publication against claims of defamation. Mr Gourtsoyannis continued: “I’ve asked the NSA to contact me to explain their reasoning, and I’ve asked for the papers to be replaced. I’ve made it clear that if this doesn’t happen, or if the copies have been destroyed, I’ll be taking the matter further - a lot of work and no small amount of money went into those newspapers.” The Journal is a student newspaper catering to all universities in Edinburgh, and is registered society of Edinburgh University Student Association. The fortnightly publication has received various awards for its content including a nomination for Student Newspaper of the Year. “The Journal adheres to
the Press Complaints Commission and National Union of Journalists guidelines in terms of bias and libel; there was nothing in that article, or any of our NSA election coverage, that broke any rules,” claimed Mr Gourtsoyannis. “I’m really unhappy that NSA has allowed the work of so many students - many Napier students amongst them - to be treated with such disrespect; I would have expected better from Scotland’s premier journalism university.” The missing copies of The Journal were not yet returned when The Student went to press. news.studentnewspaper@googlemail.com
ARTS&FEATURES »p11-22 THE BIG ISSUE p12
Features looks at attitudes towards larger fashion models
LIGHTS, CAMERA , ACTION... p15
Anna Reid explores 40 years of Scottish theatre
NAPOLEON GOES NUTS p16
Tech's Tommy Watson reviews Total War
MUSIC TAKES ON ELLIE p18
Catherine Sylvain destroys Ellie Goulding's fluffy dreams
SPICIN' IT UP p20
CENSORED: Copies of The Journal were removed from Napier University Campus after a complaint to the Election Committe by current NSA President.
SPORT »p23-24
SHAN BERTINELLI
Lifestyle hots things up in Edinburgh's finest Indian eateries
Brief
IN
ICE ICE BABY p23
Will Lyon charts the rise of ice hockey
Group demands post-grad funding for all universities
Commissioner wants to limit GCSEs
YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO...
p19 The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org
NEW CHILDREN’S Commissioner Maggie Atkinson has said that schoolchildren should take no more than eight GCSEs becuase of health risks involved with stress. Atkinson said she believes that children are under such stress to achieve good results that they develop a ‘work-life imbalance.’ Other solutions proposed to curb the over-stressing of children include ending Sats tests for 11-year-olds and integrating more creative learning, which would include overseas trips and outings to theatres and art exhibits. Atkinson says she worries that stress at school could manifest itself in dangerous ways, perhaps leading to eating disorders or selfharm. It is reported that one in ten young people have diagnosable mental health problems. JSC
NEW UNIVERSITIES have warned that an elitist system will be created if greater funding for postgraduate places is given to elite universities. A number of leading universities have called for research funding to be concentrated towards a select number of universities. "A concentration of postgraduate research funding will mean that business, the economy and participation will suffer" says Pam Tatlow, chief executive of Million+, which represents new universities. The group also point towards a impact upon social mobility if new universities are left out of future financial settlements. The warning comes ahead of the publication of a Government review into post-grad funding that will consider as to whether all types of universities should receive financial provision for post-grad studies. JC
MyEd for mobiles? THE UNIVERSITY has begun examining the logistics required forproviding university services direct to mobile phones. The university has recognized the importance of utilizing this technology, and they are looking at a number of ways in which to speed up communication between the university and students. According to the National Students Survey, this is where students desired improvement. Options include adopting new technologies such as campusM and blackboard that would provide students with 'communication alerts' and 'personalised content.' Information that the university would seek to provide via mobile would be timetable info, campus maps and library alerts. The university intends to conduct a survey establishing specific levels of interest among students. JC
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Students to work-in for 24h library Facebook campaign urges students to work past midnight A GRASSROOTS student campaign to force the University to finally maintain a 24-hour library has taken hold on Facebook. The ‘Work-in for our 24-hour library!’ group had over 1,000 members as of Sunday evening. The group wants to encourage students to participate in a mass sit-in on a date which has yet to be announced. The ‘work-in’ will begin shortly before the library closes at midnight, and students will refuse to leave the building, and continue to work. According to the information provided on Facebook, over 12 other UK universities, including Cambridge and Oxford, have at least one 24-hour library on campus. The group also points out that many candidates for EUSA sabbatical positions have campaigned on platforms which include a 24-hour library, but
FLICKR: KAYSGEOG
Julia Symmes Cobb
UNIVERSITY MAIN LIBRARY: Soon to join the ranks of McDonalds, Scotmid and A&E by becoming a 24 hour institution. McWhirter also promised a 24-hour library, but has so far failed to deliver. A spokesman for the Facebook group, which has 11 administrators, many of whom are involved in EUSA,
that so far, despite several ‘successful’ trial periods, no progress has been made toward keeping library doors open all around the clock. Current University Rector Ian
From front page...
cerning electorate felt that all of the candidates who put themselves forward would do a good job!” NUS Scotland President Liam Burns told The Student at the results ceremony of his excitement at the protest: “I look forward to working with all four winners, and it is great that there is change with three female candidates being elected.” The new EUSA executive will take office on June 14th, with the hand over process commencing from the start of June.
Melissa Birbeck
TONY SIM
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SECOND TIME LUCKY: Liz Rawlings to take the top job at EUSA
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2/3 of Edinburgh's LGBT community victims of hate crime
Rawlings, Wise, Woodgate and Hansford take sabbatical positions This year’s election was the first to see the option to Re-open nominations (RON) for every contest, in an effort to make the election process more democratic with regards to candidates running unopposed. Whilst RON did not receive more votes than any actual candidate, Graham believes that its introduction had a positive impact upon voting. He said, “I think RON worked well. It was great to see those candidates who didn’t have a contested election being able to have a mandate from students, and good for students to have the chance to say that they don’t want the candidate. “I’m pleased that the ever dis-
told The Student: "We, the students of the University of Edinburgh, think we should have a 24-hour library. Plenty of other universities have them and the recent trial period was heralded as
a success. We have elected numerous representatives who have included this in their manifesto but, despite their efforts, it has not yet been achieved.” “We feel that a grassroots movement of students should transform the Main Library into a 24-hour facility by studying their through the night, regardless of university restrictions. The movement is non-political...just turn up and study. We predict that hundreds of students will get involved.” EUSA VPAA Evan Beswick, who is listed as an administrator of the Facebook group told The Student: “In principle I think the work-in is a good idea. This is something that was brought to the SRC as a possible way to go forward about 6 weeks ago. It is simply not right to throw roughly 200 students who still want to keep working out of the library at midnight every night.” “We do not aim to disrupt the working of the library but aim to take a stance and show that students demand a 24-hour library. We are still continuing discussions with the University and co-operating fully, but it may be time to take stronger action,” he added. The group plans to announce the date for the work-in shortly, which is due to take place before Easter.
TWOTHIRDS OF Edinburgh’s LGBT (lesbian, gay, bisexual, transgender) community have suffered verbal abuse, and one third of those have suffered physical assault, a recent study undertaken by Stonewall Scotland has suggested. In addition, almost 90 per cent of the 277 respondents said that they had not reported the assaults to the police. Kate Harris, LGBT Convener at the University of Edinburgh gave The Student her reaction to the survey’s findings. “It doesn’t surprise me to be honest. It’s horrendous- but it doesn’t surprise me.” She added, “I myself have been a victim of both verbal and physical abuse and I have friends who have been too. If the study is accurate- and it’s quite likely that it is- it’s such a shame.” Kate reflected upon the current support networks for LGBT students at Edinburgh, listing the LGBT centre for Health and Well-Being based in the city and BLOGS (the University’s Bisexual, Lesbian, Gay, trans- and intersex society), as two key centres of contact. She also added that any students in need of help can contact the more mainstream centres of support such as the Advice Place or the Student Counselling Service. However, she noted that even valuable facilities such as these ‘can’t always
solve their problems’. Whilst there are numerous structures in place at the University and around Edinburgh to support potential victims of hate crime, it is clear that that the root problem, the negative attitude of others towards the LGBT community, needs to be further addressed. “Like with any kind of abuse or assault, there’s always more that can be done”, Kate concluded. Third-Year Edinburgh student, Cathryn Cripps Clark, highlighted the difficulties victims face in reporting such crimes. “I myself have suffered verbal abuse on a number of occasions but I’ve never reported it. To report it feels like namecalling- and when you look at the statistics you realise that nothing happens from it”. Cathryn identified ‘a feeling of helplessness’ as being behind the non-reporting of homophobic abuse: “While the police have the best intentions there’s so little they can do”. In spite of this however, she was keen to encourage others to report such incidents. “The importance of reporting doesn’t necessarily lie in prevention or making the perpetrators accountable. It’s about making society aware that it still happens”. These findings serve to highlight the importance of the newly-launched campaign to combat homophobic and transphobic hate crime. The campaign, which bears the slogan, ‘Some people are gay. Get over
it!’ has been set up by the Edinburgh Community Safety Partnership, in collaboration with Stonewall Scotland. Their primary aim is to promote a ‘zero-tolerance’ approach towards discrimination on the basis of sexual orientation and to persuade more victims of such hate crime to come forward and report it, either to the police or at Remote Reporting Centres in Edinburgh. Inspector Dennis Hunter, from Lothian and Borders Police Safer Communities Department, gave his support to this awareness- raising campaign: “Lothian and Borders Police take the issue of Hate Crime very seriously. We are proud of the multi cultural communities within our city, and will not tolerate any sort of discrimination in Edinburgh.” Carl Watt, Director of Stonewall Scotland added, “We welcome this campaign because it shows that hate crime will never be tolerated and that people who have experienced homophobic and transphobic hate crime can report it confidently, knowing they will be taken seriously.” These are the preliminary findings taken from a research report issued by Stonewall Scotland. An extensive review of the national results will be available later this month. news.studentnewspaper@gmail.com
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News
EU Shakespeare Company aims to 'bring Macbeth home' during tour of the Highlands Julia Symmes Cobb THE EDINBURGH University Shakespeare Company (EUSC), a new society dedicated to performing Shakespeare's work, will be taking a production of Macbeth on tour across the Highlands in April. The Highland tour of the production will feature three performances. The first will take place in the ruins of Elgin Cathedral, and the second two in Cawdor Castle. The production aims to literally 'bring Macbeth home.' Cawdor Castle is featured heavily in the play; in Act I Macbeth is awarded thaneship of the castle. "Macbeth is one of the best stories ever told, and performing at Cawdor Castle is an incredibly exciting way to engage with part of its origins!" says Cat Hobart, stage manager. Project manager Alice Bonifacio agrees, "Theatre is meant to be alive, unpredictable and interactive. Our advantage as young intrepid students is our ability to inject vitality and unabashed enthusiasm into our performance." To producer Nick Morris, the performance is an opportunity to push the boundaries of established student theatre: "Touring Macbeth to the
Highlands was certainly an ambitious choice for our first solo project but it promises to be a fantastic and unique experience for all involved, and one that we aim to build on next year. Through similar ventures in the future we hope to continue to be able to offer something that goes beyond the standard provisions of student theatre in Edinburgh."
“
Macbeth is one of the best stories ever told, and performing at Cawdor Castle is an incredibly exciting way to engage with part of its origins!" Cat Hobart, stage manager
The EUSC production will also aim for authenticity by forgoing modern transport prior to their performance. The cast and crew will be walking from Inverness to Cawdor, carrying the show on their backs. When asked about the logistics of such a venture, Morris told The Student: "Both taking a production on tour and the very nature of performing at outdoor venues definitely bring some hefty logistical problems.
'THIS CASTLE HATH A PLEASANT SEAT': Cawdor Castle, the setting of Macbeth, by night When it finally comes around, the tour will be the culmination of almost eight months of preparation, but obviously no amount of planning can protect us against unforgiving Mother Nature." EUSC previously performed a production of Macbeth in Edinburgh, to rave reviews. According to the show's production team, the EUSC interpretation of the work "focuses on the pointlessness of
sacrificing personal morality and integrity in the pursuit of power and the emptiness of a bloody victory." Kate Jagger, co-director, said about the significance of performing Shakespeare in modern times: "As all of Shakespeare’s themes ring true in our modern society it is a privilege to perform the show with the physical historic context echoing the words. We hope that our production will do
CAWDOR CASTLE
'The Scottish Play' to be performed in its actual setting, Cawdor Castle
justice to both the characters of the play and to the larger significance of James I and VI’s Britain." Half of the proceeds from the tour will go to the Cawdor Heritage Charity, which helps to preserve and restore the castle. news.studentnewspaper@gmail.com
Julia Symmes Cobb THE UK’S most prominent lecturer’s union believes that tuition fees should be abolished and that a new business tax should be used to fund universities. The University and College Union (UCU) says corporate tax loopholes should be closed, which could yield £800m more in revenue per year. That is enough to fund 100,000 students. UCU also stated that corporate tax should be raised to 32.87 per cent, or the G7 average. “The future for the UK is as a highskilled knowledge economy and that requires business to pay its fair share towards something which benefits us all. We believe our proposals will be welcomed by hardworking families who want their children to benefit from education but are put off by the potential debts created by university fees,” said UCU in a statement. UCU philosophy is that as businesses benefit from higher education, they should contribute as much if not more as students, families and the state. The announcement comes in a fiscal year in which £900m in university
cuts were either approved or implemented. In the current economy, tuition fees would have to rise to £7,000 in order to close the spending gap between the UK and other countries. According to the Confederation of British Industry, each pound of loaned money costs the Treasury 33 pence. The Department for Business, Innovation and Skills has reportedly commissioned a review of student finance and university funding. The review will be headed by Lord Browne. “The panel is currently gathering evidence and we will not pre-empt the findings of the review,” the department said in a statement. Tax Research UK director Richard Murphy supports UCU’s position, telling the BBC: “This tax pays for the investment we need if the future of British business is to be secured.” UCU has previously campaigned in Edinburgh against the cuts to Moray House’s teaching training programmes. news.studentnewspaper@gmail.com
stresses problemsolving
Northern Ireland is 'raw politics' Harrison Kelly SECRETARY OF State for Northern Ireland, Shaun Woodward MP, spoke to Edinburgh University Politics Society this last Friday. Speaking in the Raeburn Room at Old College, Mr Woodward spoke of his time in charge of political relations in Northern Ireland and also discussed Labour’s chances in the upcoming general election. Mr Woodward described his current cabinet position as ‘raw politics’, saying “There is no other job apart from maybe defence secretary like this. If you get this right, people stop killing each other. If you get this wrong then people die.” The Labour Member of Parliament for St Helens South has been involved in the peace process in Northern Ireland for the past five years. During his speech Mr Woodward stressed the importance of the vote to-
day in the House of Commons which will decide the future of policing and justice for Northern Ireland. If the vote is passed in the house, the powers of policing and justice will be devolved to Stormont and in Mr Woodward’s view the political process would be complete. Mr Woodward described speaking to soldiers after the shooting of two men at Massereene army barracks in County Antrim, north of Belfast, which saw its one year anniversary yesterday. “How can this happen? This violence is not happening in the Middle East it is happening on our own doorstep. It really matters that we fix this.” Mr Woodward remarked. Mr Woodward also used this opportunity to discuss the prospects of Labour at the next general election, arguing that the big difference between the Conservative party and Labour is that people trust Gordon Brown but not ‘their mate Dave.’ However Mr Woodward has had experience of both political parties as Director of Communications for John Major’s 1992 campaign. When asked by The Student what he thought of Andy Coulson’s apparent lack of success in the same position, Mr Woodward said that there was nothing wrong with the campaign itself, but rather with the man the
WOODWARD: True Red?
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UCU advises universities to Woodward MP addresses PolSoc abolish tuition fees Secretary of State
campaign is foccused on. “When you look at the two of them, you have to ask yourself who is going to look out for me, who is on my side? I am afraid Mr Cameron is a man lacking in substance. Gordon will not give up fighting for the everyman on the street. His interests are your interests.” Mr Woodward finished by urging all students to think carefully at the next election, and no matter who they vote for the most important thing is that they do. news.studentnewspaper@gmail.com
Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
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News 5
Over £50,000 raised for charity by 1,000 runners Julia Symmes Cobb THE 2010 Meadows Marathon recorded a record breaking turnout last Sunday with over 1,000 runners of all ages and abilities. The annual charity marathon is sponsored by Edinburgh Students Charity Appeal, where participants run either 5 km or a half-marathon around the Meadows. It is predicted that this year’s event has raised over £50,000 for a wide variety of charities. Runners arrange their own sponsors for the event for the charity of their choice. Suggested charities include Four Square and Age Concern. Besides the marathon itself, Sunday’s events included entertainment by cheerleaders, drummers, dancers and a brass band. Starbucks treated runners and spectators to free samples in support of Sport Aid. Many participants arrived in fancy dress, with costumes ranging from a group dressed as characters from Avatar, Superman and a couple dressed as a chicken and an egg. Dai Hounsell, the Vice Principal
of The University of Edinburgh attended the marathon. Speaking to The Student, he said: “This has been an absolutely magnificent day. It has been great to see so many people run their hearts out for charity. I would love to take part next year but I am not sure about that yet. Maybe if it was a hill walking marathon I would be there at the finish line.” The overall event was won by Patryk Gierjatowicz, who completed the men’s marathon in one hour and 16 minutes, beating last year’s record by 35 seconds. Women’s winner Nicola Duncan also beat last year’s record, coming in 5 seconds ahead with one hour and 28 minutes. The men’s 5k was won by Joe Robertson (20.02 minutes) and the women’s by Catherine Ferry (19.53). The 5k was also completed by a sixyear-old child, who came in at under 40 minutes. Many of the runners who placed seemed surprised at their running acumen. Petra Krause, who came third in the women’s marathon told The Student: “I have to say I am very shocked to come third as I have been clubbing all night! I am just visiting from Birmingham and think that running this marathon is a great way to see the
KUNNAYA WIMOOKTANON
Record turnout for Meadows marathon
AVATAR DOES THE MEADOWS: View with 3D glasses for full effect sights of Edinburgh.” Charlie Browne, second place in the women’s marathon said “I am very surprised to have come second in the race as I have never run a half marathon before!” Co-ordinator Sally Hutchby
Edinburgh teamed knocked out of University challenge EDINBURGH'S UNIVERSITY Challenge team were knocked out by Manchester University last week in a hard fought quarter final. The team, made up of Alan Kimmitt, Andrew Matheson, Max King and team captain Hugh Brechin, narrowly lost out with a final score of 170 to 165. After a slow start, the Edinburgh team managed to close the gap with their rivals, however failed to secure the lead. Matheson at one point murmured ‘Let’s go home’, upon realising his team did not have the answer to one of Paxman’s questions. Play was interrupted by the claxon as Matheson tried to answer the final question. The contestants from Edinburgh faced an array of bonus questions during the episode, including topics such as ‘words that contain the first five letters of the alphabet only once’ to ‘the Bejing Olympics’. Kimmitt described the overall experience as ‘good fun’. Speaking to The Student, he said: “I think we got on well. There was a good mix of subjects and personality, if sadly, not gender. I think we all enjoyed it.” He added: “Getting to the televised stage was probably better than I expected. A lot depends on the questions. Sometimes we knew a lot of answers, sometimes we didn’t. We won two matches narrowly, this time we lost narrowly. That’s how it goes. Manchester were certainly a good team and they had prepared well.” “Is it good or bad that Edinburgh is
not what Margaret Mountford thinks it used to be? I just hope we came across has having fun and not taking ourselves too seriously." Edinburgh beat off over 150 other challengers to make it to the final 28 teams to compete on the programme, managing to defeat the University of Central Lancashire in round one and Regent’s Park College, Oxford in the second round. In the quarter finals, they lost to
PAXMAN: Wax on, wax off
to become established firmly in the Edinburgh calendar.” The event was originally established by maths students Paul Hewett and Alex Robertson. news.studentnewspaper@gmail.com
University set to exhaust hardship funds
Imperial College London, but won against Jesus College Oxford on a tie break question. Manchester will now go on to compete in the Semi Finals with St. John’s College, Oxford and Emmanuel College, Cambridge. The team was put together by EUSA. 60 students sat a rigorous one hour test and a follow up team exam. news.studentnewspaper@gmail.com
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Alexandra Taylor
deemed the event a rousing success, saying: “We are very pleased with the turnout today and would like to thank all the spectators who came out to support." She added: “In only three years, the Meadows Marathon has grown
Anna MacSwan STUDENTS IN economic hardship continue to rely on emergency funding, as Edinburgh University is set to exhaust its hardship fund allocation for the second year running. Since the start of the 2009-10 academic session, the University has distributed discretionary funds of £405,000 to 425 UK students, and £286,000 to assist a further 781 through bursaries, RUK bursaries for students from England, Wales and Northern Ireland, and diagnostic assessment costs mainly for dyslexic students. These figures represent 68 per cent of Edinburgh’s annual allocation from the Scottish government. A spokesperson for the Scholarships and Finance office told The Student: “With a further 5 months of this session remaining, and with a good number of applications currently being processed by staff, we are on track to spend our full allocation. "While the total spend is slightly down on this time last year, we have noticed this year that applications are coming in a couple of weeks later than last year.” Moreover, 35 student parents received child care assistance totalling £103,500, and £21,000 in common bursaries has been provided to EU and overseas students ineligible to receive assistance through funds allocated by the Scottish Government. At a similar time of year in 2009, 474 students had received discretionary funding, amounting to a spend of £543,337. In 2008 the figure was considerably lower, with 415 students
receiving a total of £396,700. Last academic year, 2008-09, was the first year in which Edinburgh spent 100 per cent of its discretionary fund, a phenomenon attributed to financial hardship and fewer opportunities for part time employment as a result of economic recession. The University used its own resources to assist a number of students following the exhaustion of government funds. EUSA President Thomas Graham, however, said that the continued use of emergency funding brings to light issues within the current financial support system for students. Speaking to The Student, he said: “Students have to rely heavily on discretionary funds at times of hardship because the financial support that they receive from Government simply isn’t enough. "It’s positive that some extra cash is made available to ensure that those who are poorest can get by, but it’s important to remember that this is a tiny number of people and they are getting the money because they have so little money they can’t afford to eat. “It’s not enough that people get by, I want students to be able to get on. We need a financial support settlement which doesn’t legislate to put students in poverty.” Graham said that ideally EUSA would like to see Scottish students receiving loans from the government of £7,000 each academic year. news.studentnewspaper@gmail.com
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Cuts to come despite increase in Scottish Higher Education budget. Harrison Kelly THE UNIVERSITY of Strathclyde will be forced to cut more courses despite an increase of £40 million to the Scottish Higher Education budget this year. The BA Community Arts Course is facing possible closure by the University after it was found that the course has average research income of £0 per staff member. The University also states that the course sits in the “3rd quartile for student satisfaction, on 58%” and the average percentage of “good degrees” awarded over the past 3 years is -34.2 per cent, as other reasons for closure. Of the decision, President of the University of Strathclyde Students’ Association Philip Whyte said, “This decision has come at the wrong time, in the wrong way and for the wrong reasons. Yet again the raison d’être for this
institution has shown itself to be a drive for research intensity over academic provision.”
“
This decision has come at the wrong time, in the wrong way and for the wrong reasons. Yet again the raison d’être for this institution has shown itself to be a drive for research intensity over academic provision." Philip Whyte, University of Strathclyde Student's Association President
In opposition to the proposed closure USSA have argued that since 2006 graduate employment rates on the course have increased to reach 100 per cent in 2008; this is well above the HESA average of 88 per cent. From 06/07 – 08/09 the course also boasted an average retention rate of
98 per cent, the best across all departments. Whyte continues, “The department admit that external assessments regarding the quality of academic provision on the course have been consistently positive; this is apparently meaningless if it doesn’t translate into high research rankings or generate sufficient income via knowledge exchange.” This move by the University comes in the wake of the scrappage of the BA Applied Music course last year. At present Strathclyde is the only institution in Scotland which offers a dedicated BACA and one of only five in the United Kingdom. According to the THE Rankings 2010, Strathclyde’s competitors are ranked thus; 19th - Manchester Metropolitan, 35th – Plymouth, 68th – East London with West Cheshire failing to make the league tables. Strathclyde is ranked 15th. Last year Modern Languages at The University of Edinburgh were under threat, with many staff and students arguing that the department was targeted because of the low research revenue it brings to the University. news.studentmail@gmail.com
FLCIKR: WASHUUGENIUS
Strathclyde faces more course cuts as research is prized over teaching
WHAT ELSE IS UNDER THREAT?: Students on the University of Strathclyde campus.
news@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
News 7
END OF TERM PARTY
Potterrow 9pm - 3am
FRIDAY 26TH MARCH Tickets: Free Before 10PM/£3 Before Midnight/£4 After (£5/6 Non Students)
eusa.ed.ac.uk
Edinburgh Univerity Students’ Asociation is a Registered Scottish Charity (No.SCO15800)
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Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org��
8 Comment
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Brown Sugar Daddy
All women short-lists for Parliamentary elections are insulting to women, say Catriona Curry and Bethany Sharp Blair had his ‘babes’, Cameron has his ‘cuties’ and now even Brown is getting in on the act with his new generation of ‘Brown sugars.’ Yes, high profile women in politics may seem like an ideal way for political parties to gain more media attention, and if this is what their aiming for, then it’s clearly working. It emerged last week that GMTV’s Gloria De Piero is being backed to take Geoff Hoon's seat in Ashfield, Nottinghamshire. Die Piero once beat Kate Moss in a “World’s Sexiest Woman” poll. However, this is not the first time that Gordon has added spice to his campaign, the original ‘Brown sugars’ helped him to vistory in the race for Edinburgh University Rector in 1974. The girls donned miniskirts and t-shirts bearing the slogan “Gordon for me!” One of the girls who featured as one of the '74 ‘sugars’ recently admitted the idea was to show ‘a bit of leg to give it a boost.’ However, the new generation of Brown’s ladies have dropped the mini-
Last week former Labour leader Michael Foot died at the age of 96. A giant of both pre and post-war politics, Foot was one of the great minds of his party but ever since his unsuccessful tenure as Labour leader he has been portrayed both by the media and his successors as a relic of a previous political age, out of touch with public opnion. Foot was elected in Labour's move leftwards in the early 1980s, given the impossible job of uniting a party divided between right and left. He went into the 1983 election with a radical leftist manifesto, advocating the scrapping of nuclear weapons, nationalization of key industries and an expansion of the welfare state. Labour suffered its worst defeat, slumping to 27% of the vote, only slightly ahead of the SDP-Liberal Alliance, the forerunners of the Liberal Democrats. Mrs Thatcher's huge win (144 seat majority) has been used by Labour modernizers ever since as proof that British people will never accept socialist policies, thus justfying the transformation of the party into New Labour, abandoning most of its principles on the way. However, the Labour modernizers' reading of the 1983 election is highly selective and a fairly blatant distortion of what actually happened. The first thing to highlight is the importance of the Falklands war. Before the war, Thatcher was the most unpopular Prime Minister since records began and the Tories were third in the polls, behind both Labour and the Alliance. Galtieri's invasion and Thatcher's crushing victory pulled her out of the doldrums and she rode the ensuing wave of jingoism to victory but had it not been for the war, Foot almost certainly would have been Prime Minister and Thatcher consigned to the footnotes of history. If you look into the polling data that exists on the public's
skirts and replaced them with more conservative suits, but in some constituencies all-female lists have riled Labour activists, who claim that Labour senior party officials are attempting to ‘parachute’ in favoured women. Some argue that, back in the sixties and seventies, women such as Barbara Castle and Margaret Thatcher had still managed to come up through a system which had blocked them at every turn and today's prospective female politicians should be able to do the same. The 1997 General Election saw a large influx of women into the House of Commons after Labour's use of all women candidate lists, but very few of them have proven themselves their equal of their predecessors. The middle and lower reaches of the ministerial ranks are packed to the gills with mediocre women ministers who won their seats via all women lists, none of whom show the tenacity of Thatcher, the brevity of Shirley Williams, Castle's passion or the campaigning spirit of legendary 1930s MP Ellen Wilkinson. Few of
those that have made it to the Cabinet have been impressive. Jacqui Smith was elected on an all woman short-list and she proved to be a bumbling, ineffective Home Secretary and was uncovered as one of the most prominent 'flippers' during the expenses scandal. The Liberal Democrats have the largest proportion of female councillors of any political party in the country, but they have a policy of not discriminating on the grounds of gender or race. This might give us an indiction that the political culture of the two main parties is to blame and that discriminating in favour of women is just a sticking plaster and doesn't deal with the real problem. David Cameron has pushed hard to get women to be selected in winnable seats, but while the Tory benches may have more women on them come June, is this inherently a good thing? One of his most high profile women stood as a Labour candidate as recently as 2006 and the Tories knew this when they selected her-another indication that
Cameron's push for more women is little more than a cosmetic exercise.
“
The victory of a woman is not the same as a victory for women. Reducing the issue of women's participation in politics to gender is insulting" Is it really fair that women are giving a helping hand in British politics, and more importantly, do women really need a helping hand? Emily Davison presumably didn’t throw herself under King George V’s horse just so that women could be given constituency seats on a silver platter. Why can’t female politicians gain seats in an equal and fair manner, with men and women running
Right Foot Forward
Labour politicians now falling over themselves to praise Michael Foot have spent their entire careers using his tenure as leader to justify a massive betrayal of core Labour values, says Dan Heap
together? Is it fair to ban men from standing for their home seat for their party in favour of women parachuted in from elsewhere? Like men, women should stand purely on merits alone, and if there is a problem regarding attitudes towards women which leads them to not being selected, then it is clearly these attitudes that require changing. A few weeks ago the press trumpeted the election victory of Laura Chinchilla who won a landslide Presidential election in Costa Rica, a country with a very traditional paternilist society. A victory for women, it would appear. However, she is vehemently against abortion, the pill, and all other reproductive rights and is likely to do little to advance the cause of her gender. The victory of a woman is not the same as a victory for women. Reducing the issue of women's participation in politics to their gender is insulting and does nothing to tackle the real barriers to their participation in national life.
policy preferences you will find that the electorate consistently rejected Thatcherite policies all the way through her time in power and backed Labour positions in most policy areas. If the public were really hostile to Labour's socialist policies, the polls would have shown a steep drop in Labour support after the publication of the so-called 'Longest suicide note in history' manifesto. In fact, no such drop happened and Foot was right in the race all the way up until the last few days, when Alliance support surged. The reason why Labour's defeat was so huge was because there was a split in the left-leaning vote between Labour and the Alliance, with the vagaries of the electoral system turning into a massive but unwarraneted victory for Thatcher. Thatcher actually lost votes compared to the previous election, yet this has not stopped Labour modernizers since then arguing that the British electorate is essentially centre right and that the Labour party can't ever win on a left-leaning platform. Looked at today, Foot's 1983 manifesto is largely both sensible and in-tune with public opinion; the party proposed tighter banking regulations and the nationalization of irresponsible banks, stricter controls on lending, energy conservation and the the scrapping of the Trident nuclear missile programme. Labour ministers now jump on some of these policies as 'sensible solutions' despite having portayed them as the unworkable, backwards ideas of the 'loony left' for more than three decades. New Labourites queueing up to laud Foot should take a step moment to consider the irony of what they're doing; they pissed all over his record for years in order to advance their own distorted view of Labour values and are having to praise him just at the very time that he is being proved to have been right all the time.
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Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Comment 9
Hoe-ld on a minute....
Orla Murray and Abigael Candelas de la Ossa criticise the EUSA 'Pimp My School' competition seemed to be of the opinion that it is acceptable to use sexist language if it is used in the mainstream media or used in a lighthearted way. We stress that the lightheartedness exacerbates, rather than reduces our objections; and that the fact that other people use sexist language does not make it acceptable. The Sabbs also said that they had felt it was acceptable because women had not objected to the name at the time. Every member of the Student Representative Council has their own brain with which to consider whether something is sexist -- the responsibility for noticing and objecting to sexism should not be disproportionately allocated to women. To allocate this responsibility to women is itself sexist. PIMP MY SCHOOL: Bus.
THE EDINBURGH University Feminist Society is all for encouraging students to engage and improve campus facilities, but did the campaign really have to be called “Pimp My School”? Yes, before anyone asks, we do understand the playful adaptation from the television programme “Pimp My Ride”. Our worry is that calling this competition “Pimp My School” trivialises the violent exploitation of sex workers by comparing it to the addition of comfy chairs and go-faster stripes, and that its meaning derives from the idea that sex traffic is a good or cool thing. The word “pimp” has two meanings: the one that is intended in the competition is “to enhance, make cool, or otherwise improve” a space in a campus building, just as “pimp my ride” means to enhance, make cool, or otherwise improve a vehicle. The other meaning, which is just as salient as the one above, is “to solicit customers for a sex worker or brothel and make a profit from so doing”. We’re being presented with two definitions for “pimp”: “to improve”, and “to solicit customers for a sex worker or brothel and make a profit from so doing”. While one might claim that the meaning of “pimp” has changed
RESPONSE
LANGUAGE EVOLVES. Words change meaning and take on new ones. Yes, ‘Pimp’ originally and still does mean a man who sells women for sex. But a different image and connotation of the word has emerged from this; the image of materialistic man, big gold jewellery, white cadillac with unneccessarilly large suspension. The fact is that there are , like many words, two distinct meanings that have steadily grown apart. To use ‘pimp’ to denote making something glitzier and more noticeable does automatically not imply endorsement of the sex trade. Words rely on a whole range of contexts for their meaning; no word can be intrinsically sexist. racist or otherwise insensitive independent of the motives of the
person using the word. The fact that the EUSA sabbs in question checked with their female colleagues about the wording of the competition demonstrates a understanding and sensitivity on behalf of EUSA that Orla and Isabella seem to ignore. Also, the fact that these same colleagues had no objection to the use of the word would suggest that a new meaning unconnected with the sex trade has indeed emerged. Why should we seek to put artifcial barriers in the way when language has been naturally evolving for thousands of years? So, if youll excuse me, I’m gonna go get me a Hoe. From the garden centre.
or has been reclaimed, and no longer has the pimping of sex workers as its primary meaning, we are worried that the change which allows a word for violent exploitation of sex workers to gain positive connotations is not a change to be welcomed. Traditionally it is the oppressed groups who reclaim words, such as racial slurs being reclaimed in music, or even sexist terms being reclaimed by feminists; however, we are not aware of
linguistic studies documenting reclamatory use of the term “pimp”by sex workers. Using this new supposedly-reclaimed definition of pimp is to ignore its other implications and almost claims that pimping sex workers is somehow compatible with improving or making something cool, and we strongly object to this view. We were further distressed by the responses of the Sabbatical team at the EUSA General Meeting. The Sabbs
Ben Selwyn-Smith
“
The Sabbs seemed to be of the opinion that it is acceptable to use sexist langauge if it is in a lighthearted way" Some might argue that language does not matter, and that people already understand that violent exploitation of women is bad. But language does matter - the language that we pick is a vehicle for social meaning. The baggage associated with words and linguistic expressions are part of what constitutes their social meaning. The competition organisers could have picked a different name for this competition. But they didn’t. They picked these words, with the social baggage attached to them, and this baggage unfortunately isn’t separable from the word. There are always other ways to say what you mean, which is why EUSA presumably (we hope) doesn’t use words like “lame” or “gay” to describe things negatively, as is prevalent in popular culture. The use of these terms to mean that something is rubbish is not independent of a societal view that being gay or disabled is inherently bad. Why should implying pimping is cool be any different?
Cut-Glass Inequality
Targeting postgraduate funding will only lead to greater inequalities, argues Kyle Bellamy AN ASOFYET unpublished government-commissioned review of postgraduate education has led to a debate on the future of academia in the UK. The review will provide recommendations on whether all universities should be able to offer postgraduate courses and under what conditions. Concerns have been raised that this will create a twotiered education system, under which many of the more recently founded universities will be unable to offer PhDs and will be severely limited in their provision of masters programs. The Million+ group, which represents so-called ‘plate glass’ universities like Napier and Abertay, has spoken out against these proposals. Pam Tatlow, the group’s Chief Executive, has stated that, ‘the creation of a twotiered system will inevitably weaken
the reputation of UK governments both at home and in the global market place’. At a time when governments in the USA, France and China are choosing to invest more in universities, this will lead to a decline in international perceptions of UK academia as a whole. Those who would scoff at the impact of 'plate glass' universities internationally would do well to note the following figures: These institutions provide 30% of places for international students in the UK, as well as 37% of postgraduate provision, which includes 10% of all doctorates. Concerns have also been raised about the effect such changes would have on social mobility in the UK. A recent study by the Organization for Economic Co-
operation and Development has found that the UK already holds an dire record in this regard, with children of a parent with a degree generally being paid 62% more when they enter employment than children of parents whose education terminated at high school level. Only the USA and Italy hold the dishonour of being the only advanced industrialised countries more unequal than the UK. The recently founded universities, without the inherent snobbery of more established institutions and lower financial obligations expected of students could play a role in addressing this dismal state of affairs, but only if they are allowed to. Several research-intensive universities, represented by the 1994 Group, have welcomed the review’s potential findings, arguing that PhD fund-
ing should be targeted on a smaller number of institutions; in other words, themselves. This is merely a cynical attempt to perpetuate their privileged position in UK academia at a time when, according to higher education minister David Lammy, it will be a long time before any increase in public funding for universities. The place of recently founded universities in the current economic situation is invaluable for promoting development of skills and social capital. After all, it only costs the state £71 a week in student support to put someone through higher education, while Job Seekers Allowance costs the state £51 a week. So for an extra £20 a week, young people can be gaining qualifications from which they and the country will ultimately benefit.
Legends of the Lone-Star TEXAS GOVERNOR Rick Perry has recently won the Republican primary election to run as the party’s candidate for Governor, which could give him an unprecedented third term in that office. This is not surprising news, Governor Perry is the very emodiment of southern politics; anti-abortion, anti-gay marriage, anti-immigration and anti-Washington. Regarding the big issues of US politics, about the only thing he is for is the death penalty. His Primary opponent, Senator Kay Bailey Hutchison, despite holding very similar views, was tainted by her links to Washington. She was presumably also disadvantaged due to her passing resemblance to a Hilary Clinton waxwork that has been slowly melting for some time due to prolonged proximity to an open flame. Governor Perry, on the other hand, is a suave, well turned-out individual, blessed with only slightly greying hair (for that mature, intelligent touch) and clad in expensive suits that herald him as a professional, hard-working guy. His only physical short fall is his inability to smile, for the rare occasions when he has done so have revealed a covert army of wrinkles, ready to subvert the appearance of this sexy older gentleman. This former male cheerleader put his good looks to use in his campaign adverts. While all US political advertisements provide unintentional comedy, Perry’s stand out. Opening with a film trailer-style voiceover, his conservative values are introduced one-by-one to the viewer against idyllic images of Texas. Then, as his name is announced for the first time, it cuts to Perry, who turns to the camera, breeze blowing through hair. An entrance worthy of any Hollywood blockbuster. The best, however, is yet to come. A local lawman, equipped with cowboy hat and sidearm, stands on the Mexican border and drawls about how Perry has strengthened border control. Other politicians travel to the border for a photo opportunity, but not Perry, who comes there to work. The audience is then treated to a shot of Perry surveying the border, barely able to conceal the look of utter contempt on his face for those on the other side, and one is put in mind of him engaging in a Wild Bunch-style shootout with an army of Mexicans. No long hours drafting legislation in the Houston Governor's Mansion for Rick; he spends day and night maintaing a lone vigil on the bank of the river that divides the two countries, ready to blast the illegals right back over the border. Where they belong. Perry has also threatened secession ‘if Washington continues to thumb their nose at the American people’. Unlikely, but one thing is certain, a politician like Perry is not going to end his career in his current office . Whether he becomes a modern Jefferson Davis, or follows in the footsteps of certain former Texas Governor to the Washington he detests, remains to be seen. Kyle Bellamy & Dan Heap
Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Something to say? editors@studentnewspaper.org
10
I write to you regarding an article entitled “Home on the Range”, by Joanne Fullerton, which featured in the student newspaper dated Tuesday 2nd march. I wish to voice a complaint about this article on a number of grounds. However the most pressing of issues I have with this article is what was written about milk and the dairy industry. I don’t know the extent of the research done for this article, but to me it is evident that it was inadequate. Firstly, cows which are treated with antibiotics are marked within the herd and their milk is dumped (i.e. it does not enter the human food chain, as was implied in the article). Secondly the administration of bovine growth hormone to dairy cattle is ILLEGAL in the UK and therefore none of the fresh milk you would buy in the supermarket will contain it! Thirdly all milk, be it organic or not, will have a Somatic Cell Count (i.e it will contain pus), there is legislation in place within the dairy industry to monitor this. Cows with significant udder infections causing mastitis will have expressed clinical signs which will be picked up by the herdsman and she will receive treatment (i.e. Antibiotics), therefore mastitis milk is dumped! Besides this, pasteurisation will kill off any bacteria and neutrophilia in the milk. Thus the milk you buy in the supermarket does not contain pus! In future, please ensure that adequate and thorough research is carried out before false information is published. I do not normally voice my opinion to this extend, however, this article was possibly the most inaccurate thing I have ever read. Not only this...but it defamed the UK dairy industry, giving members of the general public wrongful grounds for concern! Graeme Martin
Most of you will have noticed that The Student stands (at least the ones that are left) can be found alongside those of the alternative campus newspaper, The Journal. Being the only two student newspapers on campus, we inevitably share a friendly rivalry (which is not to say that we think they stole our stands... at all...just kidding by the way) which culminates in the annual Student-Journal football match. However, this week we offer our support to The Journal for the ordeal that they have undergone in having copies of their last issue removed from Napier University campuses by their Student’s association. It was unfortunate that the editor of The Journal, Paris Gourtsoyannis, was informed via a leaked email rather than from NSA representatives themselves that this had happened. A formal justification for their actions to the The Journal would have been a more appropriate way to address an already sensitive issue. To disposal of a publication that students from all over the city have worked so hard to contribute to (and if there’s one thing we know, it’s how much work goes into these publications) should have been the last point of call, especially for a University that offers premier Journalism courses. Furthermore, we respect the impartiality that The Journal has adopted in their media coverage of Napier Student’s Association politics. NSA is on uncertain grounds in choosing to black out its student media at such a crucial time in their election process. It certainly highlights the need for and importance of vibrant student newspapers around campus. Also, see
A quick history lesson... The Student was launched by Scottish novelist and poet Robert Louis Stevenson in 1887, as an independent voice for Edinburgh's literati. It is Britain's oldest university newspaper and is an independent publication, distributing 5,000 copies free to the University of Edinburgh. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, Lord Kitchener, David Lloyd George and Winston Churchill are a few of the famous people who have been associated with the paper. In the 1970s, Gordon Brown was the editor in chief, working alongside Robin Cook who at the time was in charge of film and concert reviews.
Disclaimer The Student welcomes letters for publication. The editors, however, reserve the right to edit or modify letters for clarity. Anonymous letters will not be printed but names will be witheld on request. The letters printed are the opinions of individuals outwith The Student and do not represent the views of the editors or the paper as a whole.
page 3 for the full story. Sunday hailed the beginning of the Edinburgh Univeristy RAG week which will continue until Saturday (the 13th). It started off with the Meadows Marathon (see page 4 for coverage and amusing pictures). The Charity Week includes a halls competition to raise the most money, prizes up to £250 for individuals who raise over £3,000 and a Beer Festival which will take place in Teviot on the 12th. We'd encourage you to get involved (even if it's just for the beer) which you can do by joining the facebook group or emailing edinburghRAG@hotmail.co.uk And finally (because we like to leave you with a smile), here’s a bit of news from the outside world for your amusement… On the morning of Saturday the 6th in northern Moscow, an allegedly professional sumo wrestler ripped a cash machine out of a wall in a small shop as a sales representative looked on in horror, then walked off with it over his shoulder. The police arrested the suspect and an accomplice later on when they were caught driving a BMW without number-plates. The accomplice (described as a ‘rascal’ by the saleswoman), claimed full responsibility for the crime saying that he had ‘misled’ the sumo wrestler and tricked him into taking the 90kg-heavy ATM. We’re not sure what we admire this man for more; the fact that he convinced someone to steal a cash machine, or the fact that he managed to fit a cash machine and a sumo wrestler into a BMW.
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SHAN BERTELLI
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NEWS FROM THE OUTSIDE... (yes, this is what's going on in the real world)
EDITOR'S SOUNDTRACK
What we're listening to while we edit (because you're that interested)...
1. 'Free Nelson Mandela' - The Specials 2. 'I'm On A Boat' - The Lonely Island 3. 'I'd Do Anything' - Simple Plan
4. 'Ready For The Floor' - Hot Chip
5. 'Dr. Jones' - Aqua (the male News Editors disagree strongly)
studentnewspaper.org Tuesday March 9 2010
FEATURESINTERVIEWSREVIEWS » ARTFILM » TECHTV » LIFESTYLE
ARTS & FEATURES
IN THE STUDENT THIS WEEK
JEANS FOR ALL SIZES LIFESTYLE P20
FEATURE: THE DEATH OF MUSIC MUSIC P18
WONDERLAND FILM P17
Poetry in Translation
Maddie Walder transcends languages, literatures and cultures looking at two Spanish poems. POETRY: ARGUABLY untranslatable. Every language is a guide to social reality, argues Edward Sapir (American anthropologist-linguist), and as no two languages are sufficiently similar, how can it be that written art, a reflection and product of the society in which it flowered, ever be truly transferred between cultures while retaining its original meaning, when no two words have exactly the same connotations? Does poetry, as a means of expression through rhythm, assonance and word association, lose all impression and power when passing through the white space between languages? On the other hand, what is the true meaning behind a text? Can there ever be one interpretation, one intention, one idea, which outweighs all others in terms of accepted significance? It is my belief that translation is a chance for a new creative growth. Taking the original as the inspiration, the seed, we can tie links between languages, evoking images based upon the original, yet with their own power, reflecting a different culture. This concept is key to this feature, growth through translation
Pablo Neruda: ‘Tengo hambre de tu boca’ de Cien Sonetos de Amor", English version I hunger for your mouth, your voice, your hair, Famished and hushed1, I stalk2 through the streets, Bread does not fill3 me, the dawn drives me mad4, And all the day, I seek the liquid echo5 of your steps. I long for your fluid6 laugh, For your hands the colour of splitting grain7, I crave8 the pale pebbles9 of your fingernails, I want to swallow10 your skin like a smooth11 almond. I want to drink12 the blazing13 sunlight of your beauty, The majestic14 nose of your arrogant face, I want to eat the flickering15 shadow of your lashes. So16 I come and go, starving, breathing17 the twilight, Hunting18 for you and your scorching19 heart, Like a lone20 puma in the captivity21 of Quitratúe.
Pablo Neruda – spanish version Tengo hambre de tu boca, de tu voz, de tu pelo y por las calles voy sin nutrirme, callado, no me sostiene el pan, el alba me desquicia, busco el sonido líquido de tus pies en el día. Estoy hambriento de tu risa resbalada, de tus manos color de furioso granero, tengo hambre de la pálida piedra de tus uñas, quiero comer tu piel como una intacta almendra. Quiero comer el rayo quemado en tu hermosura, la nariz soberana del arrogante rostro, quiero comer la sombra fugaz de tus pestañas y hambriento vengo y voy olfateando el crepúsculo buscándote, buscando tu corazón caliente como un puma en la soledad de Quitatrúe.
Mouth i crush the petals of a rose between my scrawny lips, biting into skin which softly tears in two. the blood comes oozing sweet, runs over taste buds, bitter on my pulsing gums. put your tongue inside my mouth and trace my flesh, the snag of flower caught upon my braces. take care of metal, sharp, which rips the bud of you, your soul, your life, your loves, right out, torn from your throat, red treasure to be swallowed. oh, this youth and blossom, sucked by envy, grows up crooked, warped and hardened. like just here, this child of seven, gold white hair, with blackened teeth.
Boca mastico los pétalos de una rosa entre mis labios descarnados, mordiendo su piel que rasgo suavemente en dos partes. la sangre viene mansamente, dulce, se desparrama en el paladar, amarga, en mis palpitantes encías. pon tu lengua en mi boca, siente la carne, el trocito de flor, cautivo, entre mis hiernos. cuida al metal, afilado, que desgarra tu raíz, tu alma, tu vida, tus amores, desterrado de tu garganta, tesoro rojo para ser tragado. oh, esta juventud, esta primavera, absorbida por envidia, crece torcido, enrevesado, endurecido. está aquí, ya, este niño de siete años, pelo de oro, blanquecino, con dientes ennegrecidos.
studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 9 2010 features@studentnewspaper.org
12 Features
Too fat for fashion?
Caroline Fischer examines the relationship between the fashion industry and larger models
ampaigns featuring curvier C women are springing up around us everywhere, slowly changing the
face of fashion. With scandals like models dying of anorexia in an effort to maintain their skinny status, the image of the real woman with prominent breasts, hips, thighs and a tummy is becoming more popular. This month’s Cosmopolitan features “Sexy Size 16!”; Dove has had their real women campaign for a few years now, and an article in Glamour depicting a voluptuous nude model received more positive fan-mail than the magazine could have expected. University of Edinburgh students seem to like the upsurge of these images in the magazines they read, as 1st year Biology student, Louisa Rees explains: “Featuring larger models does make me feel more body confident and I think that they should be shown far more often because real women have wobbly bits!”
“
Being chic is not always easy for larger women, as many high street stores do not cater to larger sizes, and if they do, they tend to be cornered off somewhere in an ironically small area." This is taken to another level with recently popular “fatshionista” blogs that are breaking previous taboos of presenting overweight women in fashion. The plethora of blogs with names such as “Le Blog de Big Beauty”, “Fat women like nice clothes too”, or “The Manfattan Project” are known as the highly popular “fat-o-sphere” and have thousands of fat followers. These women believe that no matter what your size, you can look stylish and feel good. Posting photos of themselves on the websites has shown to seriously increase their self-confidence and make a social statem e n t
against exclusively skinny fashion. Being chic is not always easy for larger women, as many high street stores do not cater to larger sizes, and if they do, they tend to be cornered off somewhere in an ironically small area. The designers featured on the fat-fashion blogs create comfortable clothing for every occasion for large sizes. The fact that the bloggers have the opportunity to dress well and show it lets them embrace their shape and feel good. The discussion of body image issues and accepting one’s weight and therein giving up dieting and staying healthy at one’s current weight is also a very important factor of these sites, which raises the question of how healthy one can be when overweight… While fashion is universal and everyone is entitled to dress well, the pages dedicated to curvy and larger women in magazines seem to always be followed by tips on how to size down a few pages on. Why present mixed messages? University of Edinburgh students seem to find that maintaining a predominantly healthy weight is the most important factor in modelling fashion. In a sur-
vey comparing four images of women (skinny model Luisel Ramos, who died in Madrid from anorexia; size 16 Evans models in skinny jeans and white t-shirts; a nude picture of curvy Lizzie Miller; and a colourful image of an overweight fatshionista featured on a blog), female students at Edinburgh University focused on the health factor.
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I think it is every girl's dream to look like Luisel Ramos, even though she looks anorexic - you have to admit that the clothes hang better on her than the others." They unanimously agreed that Ramos was unhealthily skinny, but most said they loved the way she carried the dress she was wearing. The favourites were the curvy women, but no one liked the fat model as a marketing technique because she simply looked unhealthy. A 3rd year Law student, Jenny McCallion, explains this: “[the fatshionista] looks unhealthy to me and thus unattractive. I don't think its right to have models that are unhealthy, either too thin or too big. I don't think it would be an effective marketing image because people would recognise she's overweight, rather than just curvy.” So, it seems that too much more or less than the un-photoshopped, slim and shapely woman we know is not yet accepted. Therefore, the permanent eating and exercise tips are still relevant. However, fashion designer Karl Lagerfeld stated in an interview that: “No one wants to see curvy women. You’ve got fat mothers with their bags of chips sitting in front of the television and saying that thin models are ugly.” He continues to say that fashion is a form of art, and therefore should be unlike reality. However, the interviewed University of Edinburgh girls find that both the models Lagerfeld prefers as well as the highly overweight women are both unattractive. Perhaps there is a time and place for every shape. There is
an important distinction to be made between runway models that Lagerfeld feels must be skinny, to the women depicted in magazines for the women that read the magazines to look for advice and identification. Most women are aware that when they watch a high fashion runway show, these models have a distinct look that cannot always be described as pretty, but instead unique or different, and skinny. 21 year-old Jenny McCallion explains: “Although [the runway model] looks anorexic, it’s entirely what I'm used to fashion models looking like.” This is furthered by fourth year French student Louisa Robinson: “I have to be honest though when I say that I think it is every girl's dream to look like [the runway model – Luisel Ramos], even though she looks anorexic- you have to admit that the clothes hang better on her than the others.” Clearly, a more curvaceous shape still holds a distinct stigma. An attempt to remove this stigma was shown by Jean-Paul Gautier, when he exposed a size-20 model at his 30th anniversary runway show in Paris. Yet, this was one singled-out overweight woman traipsing down the catwalk in suspenders and a corset amongst a sea of skinnies, and the statement was received with a great deal of negative comments.
“
In 2009 Canadian designer Mark Fast used size 12-14 models during London fashion week, which led to such outrage that two of his design team members walked out."
erotic poses. This falls in line with how larger women have been previously portrayed in the media. The curvy woman has had a tendency to be shot in the nude and exposed as a sexual (fertile) being with an emphasis on breasts and lips, rather than being shown as a simple, attractive person that might make a fashion statement…though perhaps this image is now slowly changing. A final important aspect is the aura projected by the models in magazines. The image of Lizzie Miller in Glamour seemed so refreshing, not only because of her real body shape, but because of her happy face. When shown this image Edinburgh students responded enthusiastically, Ellen Burgess said: “I think that she is a really beautiful woman and I look at her face and not her tummy or thighs”, Martine Stoll continued: “She is gorgeous! She makes me feel good as I think I have somewhat the same body shape. Although I think that it is because of her illuminating face that people find her beautiful.” In terms of having plus-size models boost body confidence and self-esteem, postgraduate student Andrea Dudas nicely sums up that they do, “…because they are happy and healthy looking, and the look is also achievable with regard to fashion, which, after all, is what it's all about.” The obsession with the extremes needs to end. While women of all sizes should be able to enjoy fashion and have it accessible to whatever their size may be, a healthy image is the one that should be promoted by the media. A little curve does not need to be ironed out in the fashion world, but neither end of the eating disorder spectrum should be promoted.
In 2009 Canadian designer Mark Fast used size 12-14 models during London fashion week, which led to such outrage that two of his design team members walked out. But these healthy looking women filled out the dresses without spilling over and were predominantly well received. Women’s magazines are progressively showing more commonly seen, natural women, but even the glossy pages have not advanced into the world of the overweight model, making the cut-off at the plus-size model. 19-year old student, Charlotte Rietschel, states: “Perhaps if we saw healthier and bigger models as frequently as skinny models, it would go some way to tackling body-confidence issues.” Maybe these ideas and the increased media coverage on accepting women of all shapes and sizes in fashion convinced Lagerfeld to shoot plus-sized burlesque dancer Miss Dirty Martini in a shoot for V magazine’s size issue this January. But it is hard to take this shoot seriously in terms of fashion, as Miss Dirty Martini’s soft pudgy skin Students preferred model Lizzie is squeezed into Miller's body shape calling her 'gorsexualised lace, leather and nipple geous' and 'beautiful'. tassels and she is shot in stupidly
studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 9 2010 features.studentnewspaper@gmail.com
Features 13
A cause for celebration...
CHARITIES SPOT WATERAID
Alva Träbert celebrates International Women's Day and calls for an end to gender inequality.
W
hen I logged in to my e-mail account this morning, I was surprised to find I was being offered a special e-card in celebration of International Women’s Day. On a baby blue background a skinny, pale and very blonde young woman in blue jeans was gazing vacantly at a pink globe that she is spinning on the palm of her hand. Large, pink letters spell out “Let’s rock this planet!”, and a male voice sings a jazzy tune about the charm of women opening his heart and wallet, resulting in the purchase of a fur coat. By this time I was bewildered and rather annoyed. So what is this all about? Is this what Natasha Walter is claiming is the “return of sexism”? The 8th of March 2010 marks the annual celebration of International Women’s Day (IWD), a day of global celebration of women’s economic, social and political achievements. It’s an official holiday in many countries, like Cambodia, Poland, Croatia, Uganda, Russia, Madagascar, Nepal and China and it has been celebrated throughout the last century. International Women’s Day started out as a political event, around the turn of the 20th century, when harsh working conditions in the course of rapid industrialisation led to protests in many countries. In 1910 the first International Women’s Conference took place in Mexico, and also in Copenhagen. In 1911, German socialist Clara Zetkin established International Women’s Day and on March 19th, 1911 Women’s Day was celebrated by over a million people in Denmark, Germany, Austria and Switzerland. The 8th of March 1913 was marked by women’s peace rallies across Europe on the eve of World War I. In Russia, demonstrations on IWD were linked to the onset of the Russian Revolution in 1917. The celebration of IWD then saw a revival with the rise of second-wave feminism in the 1960s. The United Nations designated 1975 as International Women’s Year; they subsequently became sponsors of IWD and their political and human rights theme still runs strong. The idea is to celebrate women’s achievements, but also raise awareness for the ongoing political and social struggle women still face everyday, worldwide.
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International Women's Day is a day of global celebration of women's economic, social and political achievements."
In some countries (namely the former Soviet Union), it gradually became an occasion for men to express their love to the women in their lives or for children to give gifts to their mothers and grandmothers – think Mother’s Day meets Valentine’s Day. In Italy and Romania, it is common to give mothers, daughters, sisters and female friends gifts of flowers. Bulgaria has a tradition of women-only dinner
parties. India celebrates female beauty and motherhood. In Poland, IWD facilitates feminist marches and debates around abortion and contraception. It does not come as much of a surprise that demonstrations for controversial causes do not always end peacefully. In March 2007, hundreds of protesters who were assembling for a rally in Tehran were caught up in a violent dispute with the police, and dozens of women were arrested and only released after facing solitary confinement, intense interrogations and going on hun-
ger strikes. The fundamental and hard-fought issues broached throughout the last century include women’s access to healthcare, contraception, safe and legal abortion, the right to vote, protection against rape and domestic violence, access to education and male-dominated workspaces, and as a result, equal pay for equal work, and finally political, legal, as well as financial autonomy. Studying at a prestigious university in Europe, it can be easy to forget how different the situation is in other parts of the world, but also how different it was here, not so long ago. The University of Edinburgh admitted female students for the first time in 1892, after being an all-male institution for over 300 years.
British women won the right to vote in 1918 – but until another decade later it was restricted to women over 30 who were wives of householders, or had a university degree. White women in South Africa got suffrage in 1930, but it was 64 years before black women received sufferage in 1994. In Saudi Arabia, women cannot vote to the present day. And that is just the voters. When it comes to holding a political office, female representation is still very much unequal – countries with incumbent female heads of
state are still rare enough to be eyecatching, like Switzerland, Chile, India and Argentina. But with high-profile political careers comes public scrutiny, and Hillary Clinton’s and Sarah Palin’s sex certainly did not work to their advantage in their presidential campaigns. On a positive note this is currently only partly true for the University of Edinburgh, as three out of four sabbatical positions in EUSA will go to women - Liz Rawlings, Stevie Wise and Amy Woodgate - for the next term. Today, Edinburgh has slightly more female than male students. But in high-profile teaching and executive positions, women are still the minority, often facing an impenetrable glass ceiling. Last but not
least, the academic achievements of female scholars are still far less visible – have a look at the wall panel in the lounge on the ground floor of the main library. Among all the signatures of famous alumni of our university, there is only one woman, Sophia Jex-Blake. To name just one example of absurdly unequal pay, men and women tennis players at Wimbledon officially got paid equally for the first time just three years ago, in 2007. Tennis is one of the few sports in which women and men compete in the same event at the same time, making the comparison possible. In 1968, the ladies’ singles champion won the equivalent of only 37.5 percent of the men’s single champion’s prize money. Such a disparity in pay is a social as well as a political statement with severe consequences for women. The current pay gap between men and women in Europe stands at 18 percent, with the UK’s average extending the gap to 21 percent. Violence against women is still very much a reality in the UK: the Scottish Government recorded 53,000 incidents of domestic abuse in 2008-2009. In the UK, an average of 167 women are raped every day, and each week two women are killed by a partner or ex-partner. According to a recent survey, a third of young British men believe that women often ‘provoke’ violence by the way they dress. Even more shockingly, a third of young women agree. For IWD 2010, 233 events were listed to take place in the UK, including a Feminist Day school consisting of workshops and discussion groups organised by the University of Edinburgh Feminist Society. Edinburgh will also see men and women taking to the streets in September for a 'Reclaim the Night' march to protest against gendered violence and women’s fear of being alone in public at night.
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The current pay gap g ap between men and women in Europe stands at 18%, with the UK's average extending the gap to 21%." What made me so angry about that e-card was that it completely ignored both the enormous achievements made by women and the remaining problems that we still have to overcome. It seems slightly absurd to have one day a year to remind ourselves that one half of our planet’s population is disadvantaged due to their sex. Ideally, we would not need an International Women’s Day anymore, because women’s struggles for equality should be addressed every single day. Until that happens, we need to spread the word.
W
aterAid Edinburgh, the university’s branch of the international charity, have been up to doing good again. It’s been a busy semester for the society, who alongside their continuing involvement with the Tap Into WaterAid scheme have also been taking on marathons and the formidable genre of world music. This weekend saw the Meadows Marathon in which members of WaterAid walked 10 kilometres carrying 10 litres of water on their backs, echoing the journey undertaken by many people in developing countries who have limited access to safe water. This involved tackling the marathon route from Bristo Square around the Meadows an impressive four times! WaterAid’s vision is that of a world where everyone has access to safe water and sanitation, and money raised through events such as this contributes to forwarding this vision. Another important aspect of the society is their commitment to the Tap Into WaterAid scheme. This is an initiative which encourages cafes and restaurants to ask customers for a small donation whenever they order a glass or jug of tap water. These donations are then passed on to WaterAid to help fund their life-saving water, sanitation and education projects in the developing world. So far the society has been successful at implementing the scheme into several Edinburgh establishments around the university area, so look out for the donation boxes and spare what you can. Once added together, even the smallest donations can make a real difference. An upcoming fundraiser event for WaterAid is a World Music Night as part of the University of Edinburgh’s RAG week. It takes place on Wednesday 10th March in Teviot Underground, and is set to feature world music performances from belly dancing to bhangra. There’ll also be a raffle with some very exciting prizes. Tickets will be on sale outside the main library between 1 and 2pm this week for £3, and will also be available on the door for £5. All proceeds will be going to WaterAid, so come along and get on down to some tunes from around the globe. Also coming up in the next month is World Water Day on the 22nd March. To mark the occasion WaterAid Edinburgh are attempting to break the world record for the longest ever toilet queue. So if you see a queue snaking around Bristo Square then spare a few minutes and help break a world record. It’ll be pant-wettingly fun and all goes toward raising awareness of the society and the profile of the WaterAid charity as a whole. If you’re interested in getting involved or for more information check out the WaterAid Edinburgh Facebook group or visit http://www. wateraid.org/uk Pip Roddis
Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Art lover? Review it: culture.thestudent@gmail.com
14 Review
culture
COMMISSION #8: Anneli Holmström
Defending the Caveman super massive ticket giveaway!
Fancy getting your hands on one of five pairs of free tickets for Defending the Caveman on Monday 15 March, 7.30pm, at the Festival Theatre? The show is the winner of the Olivier Award for Best Entertainment in 2000 and is the longest running solo play in Broadway history. It is in Edinburgh for only two nights. Simply answer the following question and email it to the culture team at culture.thestudent@gmail.com by Friday 12 March. The first five correct entrants win. What is Fred Flintstone's wife called? Good luck!
The Conductor In the The Conductor the illuminated figure appears to be powering a
strange keyboard in front of anonoymous audience. In the foreground
two charged hands operate strange controllers, as if sending out a textmessage into the cyber-abyss.
http://holmstromartworks. blogspot.com/
The art of suggestion
Two current exhibitions present written proposals as artworks in themselves. Paul Collins and Eleanor Marsden investigate...
you turn me on and on and on embassy until 14 mar
For most people, being commissioned to create a work of art would be an arduous challenge. There is the pressure of having to live up to being a 'work of art', of meeting expectations, but perhaps primarily of how to begin. If an artist is to create a true work of art, it should be perfect from start to finish. Perfection, however, is not the finishing point for 18 artists who have recently been commissioned to create ‘infinite’ artwork for the Embassy Gallery’s new exhibition, 'You Turn Me On And On and On'. Essentially, there is no true limit to what the artists are allowed to do: infinity is their limit; infinity is their medium, their subject matter, their start, their end, and what the Embassy’s visitors are told to expect. Their only limit, per se, is that infinity must be at the heart of their work. The gallery, which is just a small white basement, is obviously not big enough to house infinity. It feels like someone has just moved
out: there are two radiators on either side of the door (both dripping into Tupperware tubs), a bin-bag in a corner, and a broom, propped against the light-switch as if to make an artistic statement. There is also a row of 18 boxes, arranged in a line from one end of the room to the other.
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The gallery, which is just a small white basement, is obviously not big enough to house infinity." Upon closer inspection, it becomes obvious that this is the exhibition. In each box there are photocopied blueprints of infinite artworks-to-be. Some propositions are serious and wellcrafted such as Olle Essvik’s design for a software programme that creates thousands of ‘endless’ photographs of stars; other artists interpret infinity in a more amusing way, like Aram Bartholl, who submits nothing more than many sheets of blank A4 paper. However, the basement does little to embrace the theme. The artists’
proposals feel restricted within their cardboard boxes and there is a desire to see some of the more absurd ones put into action. This of course is cut short by the curator’s decision to create a ‘propositions only’ exhibition. Perhaps this serves as a witty comment on the apparent inaccessibility of infinity; however, since the exhibition calls itself a showcase of ‘infinite art’ and yet this goal is clearly unattained, the pleasure gained from both the artworks and the gallery-room is limited. PC peter liversidge: the thrill of it all ingleby until 10 apr
Upon arriving at Ingleby Gallery I couldn’t help but feel that my expectations should be raised when a flashing neon sign revealed to me that I was there for ‘The Thrill Of It All’. Peter Liversidge is renowned for his eccentric approach to art and ‘Inglebly Proposals’ is no exception. Having worked with a variety of institutions
ranging from the Liverpool Tate to the Art Basel, Miami, Liversidge always collaborates closely with, and addresses his proposals to, gallery directors. Through this contact he maintains a close relationship with the locality of each exhibition, thereby making every proposal unique.
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Liversidge demonstrates that art and language can complement one another to create something fresh and new in a way that everyone can relate to." These proposals vary considerably and are exhibited in a way that ensures the viewer moves smoothly from one framed proposal to the next. Offsetting their pristine appearance are a multitude of brightly coloured die, scattered across the floor; Liversidge oscillates between a serious tone and a more playful manner. One cannot help but smile at the more comedic proposals such as ‘I propose to hire
all the cars that are available to hire at Edinburgh. I would drive them in relay, to the center of Glasgow and leave them there’. These notions serve to balance the more regimented proposals concerning measurements and display methods. Venturing upstairs you find yourself in a different world where stark, brutal-looking creations that resemble trees dominate the room alongside the statement (made entirely from flowers): ‘Fear not for the Future, Weep not for the Past.’ Homage is paid to the natural environment with driftwood and smooth pebbles claiming central focus in the room, which initially may look at odds with the rest of the exhibition but at a second glance serve to adhere to the eclecticism of the collection. There is also a successful combination of mixing the old with the new with the decision to include an 1867 candelabra containing grass scented candles, in keeping with the nature theme. Liversidge’s exhibition is both innovative and engaging; he demonstrates that language and art can complement one another to create something fresh and new in way that everyone can both appreciate and relate to. EM
Theatre buff? Review it: culture.thestudent@gmail.com
Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Review 15 STAR RATING Chippy across the road
Bangers and mash
Mum's packed lunch
Turkey twizzlers
Lumpy custard
DINNERLADIES KING'S THEATRE RUN ENDED
MENNA JENKINS
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Curtains
It's a brave man who attempts to adapt Victoria Wood's classic sitcom for the stage, and for that, David Graham has my respect "
Up
THE CUNNING LITTLE VIXEN PLEASANCE THEATRE RUN ENDED
EDINBURGH STUDIO Opera’s production of The Cunning Little Vixen features colourful and fluid performances. This interpretation manages to retain relevance, while giving the renowned opera a fresh and animated upheaval. The stage is split, one side with suitcases and fur, the other stark and natural. Emblematic of the divide between the animal and human world, the overlap between the two are explored. Adapted in part from a comic strip, with elements of human experience, the unusual background informs
ROBES OF royalty and golden kilts. Programs and posters. A giant pop-up cottage. Sandy army boots. An unexplained severed dog's head hanging from the roof. No, it is not a junk shop. It is Curtain Up, the latest exhibition at the National Library of Scotland, an eclectic mix of memorabilia, honouring over 40 years of Scotland’s thriving theatre scene. The exhibition celebrates the many innovative, moving and inspiring pieces that have originated from within our own borders, not to mention the continuing development of new theatre. It is a fascinating and inspiring way to spend an afternoon, or just an hour. The exhibition takes the visitor on a trail through the history of Scottish drama charting its evolution from the 1970s to the present day. It also provides a rare chance to view video clips of previous notable productions and showcases original annotated scripts, awards and designs, as well as actual set pieces and costumes from various theatre companies. Most notably a huge pop-up book of locations used as the travelling set for The Cheviot, the Stag and the Black Black Oil. Innovation of this sort is obvious throughout the exhibition and much of this talent has focused on Edinburgh, with the capital becoming one of the country’s main hubs in terms of new writing over the years. The city’s Traverse Theatre has encouraged and trained fresh talent since 1963, responsible for grooming playwrights such as Anthony Neilson and Gregory Burke. Other Scottish writers who have achieved international recognition include Stephen Greenhorn and Liz Lochhead, with David Tennant and Alan Cummings among our acting exports. The Citizens Theatre in
Glasgow provides another nursery for new writing and is considered by many to be the prototype for the new National Theatre of Scotland. Despite previous campaigns, as well as international recognition, Scotland has only had a national theatre for four years. A late-comer to devolution, the National Theatre of Scotland opened its first season in early 2006 and since then has contributed new writing to the stage, as well as vivid reimaginings of such classic tales as Euripides’ The Bacchae and Ibsen’s Peer Gynt. Another example of our claim to theatrical greatness is the role Edinburgh plays as host to both the world renowned International Festival and its companion, the Festival Fringe, which itself hosts over 2,000 shows. Both offer a unique and spectacular opportunity for new writers, companies and productions, as well as established ones. Over the years, Scottish theatre companies have garnered an impressive number of awards including Fringe First awards and Scottish BAFTAs. As the exhibition winds down the visitor comes face-to-face with a wall of posters, half worn and faded, others much newer. This wall depicts the last 40 years of Scottish theatre and the shows which are running now and over the next few months – our native creativity has clearly lost none of its strength. Think of the fools who believe that all we have contributed to the world is haggis and whisky! Anna Reid
and sustains performance. The story follows capture, escape and death of a vixen, which runs parallel to human rivalry and competitive desire. The orchestra flawlessly guides us through each crucial movement, stressing the distinctive attributes of the original score. From the beginning the sense of suspense is testimony to their talents; the intermittent playful essence echoes the character of the vixen. Throughout, they are integral to the sentiment and excitement of the production. Interestingly, the sense of a strong family unit exists in the animal kingdom, but not within the human realm. The latter seems full of paranoia and bawdy male interaction, but crucially lacks compassion.
The interaction between the vixen and reynard injects the piece with fresh humour, communicated through subtle acting. At the same time, the element of comedy does not displace that of romance, their scenes together being surprisingly convincing. Both voices manage to reach a climax of emotion, which captures the heart of the production. Heightened points of joy and disaster shape the opera. Before, dominant male figures descend the steps to the right. Finally, the vixen sits there, transcending her conditions. The chorus evoke uplifting glory, and indeed the sense of a close-knit cast is evident throughout. The fox’s children are dressed like schoolchildren. Engaging in clap-
THE BUSLOADS of pensioners outside King’s Theatre last week were not a good sign. I knew Dinnerladies was mum’s cheeky Friday night favourite, but I didn’t expect my plus one and I to be dragging down the average age with quite such force. Nonetheless this was a warmly enjoyable production with a laugh-aminute script which left me with as big a smile as the old chap to my left.
It’s a brave man who attempts to adapt Victoria Wood’s classic sitcom for the stage, and for that, director and writer David Graham has my respect. Inevitably, the show lacked a bit of the magic of Wood’s original; the perfect script, the subtle touches that reveal so much about her characters, and the superb actors led by the faultless Julie Walters. Plus the fact that Dinnerladies is really supposed to be watched with your Dad while eating bangers and mash when you’re 15. Yet Graham made a wise move in essentially attempting to replicate the TV show in every way; the actors were physically and vocally matched, the excellent set looked to have been lifted straight out of the 90s, and the writing was, if not an equal to that of Wood, certainly a damn good try.
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The storyline was uninventive but felt not too far from an actual episode. Nostalgia is an enjoyable sentiment, and why change a winning formula? "
Curtain up: 40 years of Scottish theatre is on at the NLS until 3 May. Admission is free.
ping games, they are suggestive of the same innocence the girlish child vixen exhibited. Simplistic but defined costumes shape the piece without deflecting from the main performers themselves. All of the cast deliver an exhilarating performance, however credit seems especially due to Louise Alder for her portrayal of the lead. Her distinctive voice resonates even after the curtain has fallen. Almost ending on a sombre note, the idea of the natural cycle of life recovers it, and the forester’s spirits. As he seems to stumble, bedazzled, The Cunning Little Vixen has reached an appropriate and impressive close. Christine Johnston
The greying audience couldn’t get enough of the barrage of sexual innuendo - from nut adjustments in the ladies’ loos to Bren’s mother winching her caravan legs onto a hard standing which, while repetitive, didn’t get tiresome.The storyline was uninventive but felt not too far from an actual episode. Nostalgia is an enjoyable sentiment, and why change a winning formula? If Twink and Anita were a tad forced at times, Gay Lambert as Dolly and Stella Ross as Jean more than atoned, and there were enough oneliners delivered in a satisfyingly northern drawl to make in-depth analysis of acting proficiency feel a little daft. It’s not hard to get a laugh with lines like, "Do you think this potato looks like Del Boy from Only Fools and Horses?" Profound theatre this most certainly was not. But the biddies on the buses didn’t come for that, and neither did I. Quaint, cheesy and bloody funny was more the order of the day. Graham might be a brave man but when you’re working from Victoria Wood’s genius your job is pretty easy. I’m off to watch old re-runs... Charlie King
Tuseday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
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16 Review
TECHNOLOGY Napoleon complex
Tommy Watson re-writes the history books from the comfort of his own room NAPOLEON: TOTAL WAR PC 24.99-34.99 SEGA
he Total War series from the T Creative Assembly has long been a favourite of armchair generals and
aggressive businessmen seeking an outlet for their pent up rage. From the experimental birth of Shogun through to the epic Empire, the appetite of the part-time master strategist has been truly satisfied. The latest, Napoleon: Total War, on the other hand, is somewhat less revolutionary than the name might suggest., and may come as a disappointment to many fans. Total War, for the unenlightened, does precisely what it says on the tin – or rather cheap plastic case with leather effect cardboard. Complete control of national economics, diplomacy and military planning brought to life with an easy to handle user interface. This does seem to provide a distinct communication advantage not readily available to great generals of old. Those primitive fools had no idea what they were missing. Armed with mouse, keyboard and a loose knowledge of European history, the world is your chosen mollusc. With a turn based strategy grand campaign map, and intense real time battles, the pace of the game is delicately balanced and entirely in
JUXTECHPOSITION
PIÈCE DE RÉSISTANCE: Although nobody wanted to admit it, this was not Napoleon's best strategy. your hands. Napoleon steps up to the mark where Empire left off. Having just smashed the French in the painstakingly brutal and drawn out Seven Years War, the Revolution sets in and we enter a new period of history. Another century of wiping out nations and not having your own people obliterated by the Russian bear. Hooray! The characteristic transition from one era to another, which has defined Total War games of the past, occurs after
a year or so of further game development on Creative Assembly's part, while our side of the bargain seems to have been waiting to fork out another thirty quid. Just when everything was going so well. Napoleon brings the great man and his French legions to the council of war and sets you marching across Italy, Western Europe and Egypt in a quest to prove your mettle. Better yet, take up the crown of Prussia and defeat the Corsican at every turn. It’s a feeling like no other, changing history.
Yet, there seems to be something missing. Or rather, nothing added. Okay, so there is improved visuals and an enhanced user interface with many other minor tweaks, but this was to be expected. Having played every single Total War game and having modified two previous titles (Yes, some of us take it upon ourselves to tinker with game design. I know what you’re thinking), more was anticipated. The feeling of déjà-vu is unmistakable. Nevertheless, for those less obsessive than myself, Napoleon is an excel-
lent purchase, and a fantastic game in its own right. There is nothing more satisfying than watching enemy militia tremble under the pounding of cannon fire while hardened soldiers are cut down by a valiant cavalry charge. Struggling through the campaign mode, which feels far more historically driven than before, cursing as your soldiers die of thirst in the desert you will realise war is hell-but it’s also damn good fun from the comfort of your room, with a bag of Doritos and a flask of coffee. Taking on the military genius of Napoleon Bonaparte as another European power, however, is where this game really excels. The panicked construction and amassing of forces to defend against the oncoming steamroller is true strategic terror. The brown sugar on the rock bun has to be, at long last, a multiplayer campaign. A work in progress to be sure, requiring hours of dedication and a bunch of friends with no lives, but it’s progress none the less and should tide us over until, well, whatever is next. WW1? Strategy? Don’t make me laugh. Napoleon provides a fresh new look at European conflict, adding many new effects and options, most notably the introduction of multiplayer on a grand scale. In the end, it does feel a lot like a mere improvement on Empire making this feel more like an expansion that a standalone.
Null and void
ccording to my reliable source Rocket man Tom Hasler lights the blue touch paper and stands well back A (Twitter), this has been a week of idiocy in the tech world. While we had The Guardian screaming that in the next ten years we will live in a world in which even the most mundane objects will be able to connect to the internet for no apparant reason at all other than to destroy the world Skynet-style (seriously, check out 'RoboVac' - a Terminator in disguise if ever I saw one), we also had technology magazine Stuff telling us that nearly a billion pounds worth of gadgets and technology doesnt get used to its full potential. The obvious question is why the hell are companies producing this crap when we clearly dont want to see ultra orange, high definition close ups of Dale Winton - let alone be able to update our Myface status about it from our toilet seat as we watch (again, I'm serious, google it)? Dont get me wrong, technological advances are good - I only have a problem when manufacturers of any old shite decide to tack a modem onto thier product and call it the future, knowing damn well that the gimmick is going to last all of five minutes. An 'internet fridge' (need I say 'google it?') might seem cool, but has anybody thought that it may not be the technological revolution you paid so much money for? Just remember when the milk goes out of date like the rest of us. Jonathan Mowat
DARK VOID PC, X360, PS3
24.99-39.99 CAPCOM
hen I first heard about Dark W Void it was hard to see what all the hype was about. It just looked
like another generic action game, with the focus on a single gimmick (a thoroughly unoriginal rocket pack) to set it apart from the other titles in the flooded market. Despite this, the game seemed to stay on radar, giving me just enough stark curiosity to rent it from blockbuster. Turns out I should trust my gut more often. Dark Void's key feature, the aforementioned jet pack is, as expected, the focus of the games design, with the jump-from-cover based shooting on the ground to dogfighting in the air being the games most, in fact only, interesting feature. There are some admittedly enjoyable moments where you can use the jet pack to fly around an enemy barricade or evade an attack that would leave mere pedestrians helpless, but as hard as I tried to mix things up, the game often forces you to stay in the air or on the ground, and fight conventionally. This injects the kind of pacing necessary in any game, unfortunately the problem remains
that shooting on the ground is generic, and the dogfights are boring and repetitive. The main issue with both of these elements is the lack of imagination from Airtight, who seem to think that simply by adding two genres together they don’t need to work hard on either. The ground combat is an inneffective rip off of any other game in the action shooter genre you care to think of, with guns that feel like water pistols and enemies that lack menace, or brains for that matter. The enemies main method of irritating you is hiding behind cover and exposing themselves for mere seconds, often leaving you waiting around before you get them in your sights again; it feels like you fishing, and I hate fishing. The only real idea here is the ability to take cover against vertical surfaces, although its originality may stem from the fact that its a feature no one wants or cares about. The air combat itself is mired by a lack of enemy diversity. You can hijack enemy craft in a protracted sequence of button mashing, but this only earns you a plane that feels like a slower version of your jet pack. This, of course, leaves no incentive not to simply shoot them instead. I’ve taken great care not to
mention the plot up to this point, as mentioning it without a full explanation would leave you confused and generally take away from the shock of its sheer awfulness. You assume the role of a cool, light hearted, Nathan Drake clone (of Uncharted fame) - a pilot in the 1930’s just before WWII kicks off. While flying over the Bermuda triangle, with your hot yet estranged ex-girlfriend, you suddenly flash into another dimension and crash land in a jungle inhabited by Nazi alien cyborgs (or NAC’s as I call them), who
are worshipped by Aztec-like humans as gods. You then meet Nicolas Tesla (don’t ask), who gives you a jet pack before he and your ex get abducted by the NAC’s. Naturally, you chase them into yet another alternate dimension, the proper kind with weird sky and stuff, and start working with a human resistance group led by a what is essentially, a Jedi. This epic, if misguided attempt at a story is told though tedious, combat free ‘walks’ and cut scenes with dialogue so dull and lifeless you might find yourself gnawing at your own flesh to save your sanity from the boredom. The presentation looks somewhat cheap as well, lacking any spectacular scenes, although there are clearly some attempts. Dark Void has all the aesthetic of a kids cartoon. This comedy of errors leads to some small amusement, like a good B movie, but these moments are outnumbered vastly by the moments of sheer boredom, which when combined with the lack of any additional play modes or multi-player, leaves the game devoid of any imagination.
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Tuesday March 9 2010 film,studentnewspaper@gmail.com
Review 17
Film Alice in Wonderland Directed by Tim Burton In Burton’s take on the Wonderland universe, we see our titular heroine (Mia Wasikowska) once more tumble down the rabbit-hole, 13 years after the initial story took place. For the fans of the original Wonderland story, it’s important to keep this in mind: there is no painting of the white roses, nor the (personally terrifying) walrus and the carpenter scene. Rather, in Burtonesque fashion, Wonderland has been re-imagined as Underland, a stark and twisted environment, laid waste by the Red Queen, played by the excellent Helena Bonham Carter. Burton’s depth of creativity having no boundaries, the visuals of the film are extraordinary. From the smallest harrowing detail of Alice using the lopped-off heads of the Red Queen’s enemies as stepping-stones to enter the castle to the final battle set on a giant chessboard, Burton’s unique Gothic style is embossed on every scene of the film. Much of the emphasis marketingwise has been put on the ever-capable shoulders of Johnny Depp, who delivers his own spin on the Mad Hatter as an incredibly sensitive, neurotic and schizophrenic man. Feeling shy, he speaks in a soft-lisped English accent,
and when driven to anger, he shows his Glaswegian brawler side. Way to stereotype the people of Scotland – cheers, Depp! But do not be fooled into thinking that Depp steals the show like he did with Pirates of the Caribbean – Wonderland has a far more balanced cast. Helena Bonham Carter puts in a great turn as the tyrannical Red Queen
with a tiny frame but bulbous head. Then there is Matt Lucas playing both Tweedledum and Tweedledee, slightly stupid yet funny in this version, instead of Disney-cutesy with odd riddles. Perhaps the best-realised character is the Cheshire Cat (Stephen Fry) – suave and dry with an off-beat charm. However, this is also the main problem with the film: in an effort to
Chloe
Crazy Heart Directed by Scott Cooper
Directed by Atom Egoyan
The Oscars having been and gone on Sunday, we now know whether or not all the buzz around Jeff Bridges, nominated for Best Actor, proved to be true. But even if it didn’t, Crazy Heart is still worth seeing for his turn as whiskey-soaked, four-times-married, country-singer Bad Blake. In spite of being a little podgy and more than a bit of a mumbler, Bridges radiates cool from every pore. Bad Blake is at times a grumpy old man whose only aim seems to be to find more alcohol, at others, an incredibly sweet and seductive old charmer (or maybe that’s just me!). Jeff Bridges swaggers around like he owns the place with a perfect Texan accent and a surprisingly beautiful singing voice. He sprawls around half-naked in his hotel room and tells his manger to go fuck himself. He is, without a doubt, magnificent. Admittedly, with such a good performance at its heart, the film doesn’t have to try too hard by way of plot. And it doesn’t. Blake rambles across the desert states of America, playing small gigs in bowling alleys and attracting groupies with ease. He meets Jean Craddock (played by the always-good Maggie Gyllenhaal), a journalist with a young child, and strikes up a relationship with her, which ends in tears (as it always does in this sort of film) when he loses her son in a bar. He plays an opening set for his onetime protegé (Colin Farrell) and stares impassively at his giant trailers and countless roadies. He joins Alcoholics Anonymous, cleans up and writes a last
Fresh from her unremarkable character in Jennifer’s Body, it’s easy to see why Amanda Seyfried chose to play the psychotic call-girl in Chloe. The film sets up the eeriness of its storyline from the beginning as we watch Chloe dressing herself whilst explaining what drives her – already you can sense that a superfluous amount of sexual tension awaits you further down the line... We are then introduced to the other main characters: the frustrated Catherine ( Julianne Moore), who fears her attractive and flirty husband, David (Liam Neeson), is having an affair. The dysfunction within their marriage is exposed when Catherine plans an elaborate surprise birthday party for her husband, only for him to not show up because he was persuaded to miss his flight home from New York by one of his flirty college students. Disappointed and mortified, Catherine immediately assumes David is having an affair. Determined to find out the truth behind his no-show, she approaches
great song that brings in endless royalty cheques. He makes his peace. Such is life. The film is in some ways a less depressing version of The Wrestler, the much talked-about performance from last year’s Oscars. It is also a little direction-less, much like Blake himself. I must confess, I found myself a little less interested towards the end as events turned bleaker. It’s far more fun watching a 57-year-old man put three cigarettes in his mouth at once than it is to see him being told he’s heading for emphysema, cancer and a stroke, apparently all at the same time. In this occasionally clichéd film, Jeff Bridges makes all the difference. His performance is truly outstanding. I almost want him to take to the road as a grizzled country star, performing the soundtrack night after night. But then, we might miss his acting. Kirsten Waller
Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 12.00 14.45 17.35 20.20
show off the ensemble, the story takes a backseat. Alice is essentially carried from scene to scene with the very vague and over-worn use of the classic plot-device called ‘destiny’, also filling the script with her blathering teenage protest against it. As the plot moves in such a pace that there isn’t enough time to take a breath and develop any affinity with Alice until the last act, the emotional connection to the film is lost. As a collaboration between Disney and Burton, the tone of the film is torn between two ends of the spectrum, unsure of whether to be a straightforward kids’ fantasy film or a twisted grim fairytale. Despite the film’s muted colour and heavy themes of anarchy and insanity, the script is compromised in its dialogue for the sake of younger audiences, meaning it loses a certain edginess the original novel had with its complex logic and intelligent puns. This is something which sets the original Alice in Wonderland apart from so many other children’s stories: the oddity of it all, the sheer mystery and eeriness of some of the plot elements. However, Burton chose an endorsed Disney script from the writer of The Lion King. It’s hard to avoid thinking that if Burton had penned the script himself, the film could have been so much better.
Legion Directed by Scott Stewart It’s heartening to know that in a country as Christian as the US, there are still people willing to bankroll a film in which God plays the villain. In Legion, Our Lord has “tired of the bullshit” of man’s centuries-long exploits and has ordered a mass extermination of all of humanity. One angel, Michael (Paul Bettany), disagrees with the Almighty and falls to Earth – or, more specifically, the middle of the Nevada desert – to defend against the forces of Heaven a group of diners, one of whom is pregnant with a child that the rebel angel believes will lead mankind out of the darkness. The rather outlandish, supernatural storyline could have given the film an interesting, new slant to ‘the apocalypse’, a topic that has been covered to death recently in both film and TV. Sadly, however, the makers have taken the originality of the core idea and boiled it down into its most basic Hollywood elements: a base-under-siege zombie action film with religious connotations.
Greg Martin
Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 10.30 13.00 15.30 18.00 20.30 the Lolita-like Chloe to seduce David, while she instructs him to report home with his every move. However, Catherine’s jealousy proves to be too much for her, and in a confused effort to get closer to her husband, she finds herself increasingly attracted to Chloe. The three become entwined in a perverted love-making triangle, with Chloe weaving a web of mistrust, until at last it comes to a sudden and sickening end as all is revealed. Seyfried gives a very good performance, giving us just the right amount of crazy, but Moore is just not convincing, looking weepy-eyed and tired throughout. We don’t get any real sense of her desperation. And we definitely do not get enough of Liam Neeson. You almost forget that he is even in the film. The cinematography and musical score are outstanding, giving the film a kind of fluid movement, something it desperately needs in the slower scenes. Overall a decent film, but beware of the slightly gratuitous lesbian sex scene! Wanja Ochwada
Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 10.50 13.20 15.40 18.05 20.35
And so we also get the very unsubtle allegories - the diner is called Paradise Falls and there is the Nativity-inspired storyline, as well as the modernised biblical events, such as the diner group being terrorised by a plague of fleas whilst in their SUV. But don’t let the nods to the Bible fool you: this is a bythe-numbers, action-horror with all the tropes you’d expect from the genre. In short, Legion’s clichéd execution and aesthetic remove any possible impact the film could have had. There’s really nothing much else to say, except that the CGI is poor, the dialogue unimaginative, the acting just passable and the characterisation deeply predictable. However, it does get an extra star for including an unassuming old lady who sweetly drops both the f- and cbombs. Paddy Douglas
Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 12.40 15.25 18.00 20.50
Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
18
Don't go anywhere without your iPod? Email: music@studentnewspaper.org
Review
MUSIC
The day the music died.
Andrew Chadwick argues that for the love of music the BBC must preserve niche radio. YOU'VE PROBABLY heard already, but the BBC last week confirmed plans to axe the discerning music fan’s favourite radio station, 6 Music, as part of a range of cuts that the Director General says will allow the corporation to produce quality over quantity. There has already been a huge amount of opposition to this, with many musicians and DJs (including David bloody Bowie!) speaking out against the move. There are many, many reasons why this is such a stupid, ill-advised decision, but the most important one is that there is no other station with such a commitment to new or undiscovered music, such passionate DJs, or such freedom for those DJs to take their shows in exactly the direction they choose. Talk of the existence of commercial alternatives to 6 Music (an absolute falsity) proves that BBC senior management actually have no clue
GORILLAZ Plastic Beach VIRGIN
ITS INTEREST ING, upon the release of third album “Plastic Beach”, to consider how far Gorillaz have, (or has?), come. Most will know the story by now; Blur’s frontman collaborates with graphic artist Jamie Hewlitt on a cartoon group, releasing an album of playful hip-hop infused alternative jams, and accidentally shifts 7 million units. Four years later he repeats the trick on 2005’s “Demon Days”, an album packed with melancholic, futuristic and entirely unique pop music. Appropriately, Damon Albarn has upped the ambition once more for “Plastic Beach”, taking every element of the persona that Gorillaz developed on “Demon Days” to something approaching its logical conclusion. From the off, it shouldn’t be too hard to tell that this is Gorillaz running on full. The album comes with its own eco-friendly concept that ties every song together and that is explicitly dealt with lyrically, concerning the debris strewn island of the title. “Superfast Jellyfish”, Gorillaz latest collaboration with De La Soul, features a rap about a seafood based microwaveable snack sold on the island, and a chorus from Super Furry Animal’s Gruff Rhys that’s basically a jingle. If that sounds a little off-putting, it won’t sound that way heard in context, over bouncy, vaguely old-school hip-hop basslines and synths. The collaborative element of the sound has been fleshed out too,
“Plastic Beach” being the Gorillaz most feature-heavy set so far. The nature of collaborators has also changed, going beyond the stock alternative rappers and grizzled legends; we hear UK stalwarts Kano and Bashy trade bars over a backing from the Lebanese National Orchestra on “White Flag”, recently reinstated crown-prince of indie rap Mos Def and Snoop Dogg skip and slide over the music of the Hypnotic Brass Ensemble. When such left field collectives aren’t involved, we’re treated to a steely electronic pulse most evident on “Stylo” and “Empire Ants”. 2D’s, (the Gorillaz member voiced by Albarn), solo turns are no less spectacular than the collaborative curveballs; just check the thumping, ominous groove of “Rhinestone Eyes” or the simply beautiful “Broken”. What we have here is another innovative, effortlessly unique slab of pop music that exists in a world entirely its own. Michaerl Russam ELLIE GOULDING Lights POLYDOR
YOU MAY have heard of Ellie Goulding as a staple on every list of the 'Sound of 2010'; tits and a synth being apparently the only prerequisites for presence on such lists. The 22 year old singer, claiming to fuse folk and pop already prematurely clutches a Brit Award in her still placenta-moist palm. Ellie's innocence seems to be
her chief marketing factor. Innocent as to how shit she is apparently, as her debut album Lights aptly demonstrates. Bless. Her other USPs are her unique blending of folk and electronica to reveal to the listener that this must have been what pop music was all along. It's indistinguishable from the likes of KT Tunstell, Jem or Dido. You'd buy this record for the folk elements the way you'd buy a Fruit and Nut Dairy Milk over regular for the health benefits. Indeed, Goulding's vocals couldn't be more saccharine if she was gargling with marshmallows. Her voice isn't the worst of it, like a bad smell you eventually tolerate it by the end of the album. The lyrics are sadly another story. In 'The Writer' Goulding entices the listener 'Why don't you be the writer' apparantly to prompt the question 'But, why, Ellie? When you do it so well'. Except she doesn't. A few gems; 'If I could ask a question/ What would it be?/ There's just too many/ Like stars', 'A sky of diamonds just for us!', 'You look at me and it's like you hit me with lightning. Ahhhh.' The production turns out to be the album's salvation. Once you've gotten over Goulding's absurd lyrics and painful intonation, take a moment to appreciate the admittedly fresh sounding sparkely synths. God knows what these songs sounded like before they were muffled by layers of electronica; probably the musical equivalent of Drew Barrymore at the start of Never Been Kissed. Admittedly the record is littered with a few sparse moments where the fog of cynicism may be lifted from your ears a moment to note the pretty xylophone sound, but mostly this album is best played on mute, in a vacuum, at the bottom of the ocean. Catherine Sylvain
about what it actually does, obviously mistaking it for a fairly standard rock station catering for audiences approaching middle age. It is absolutely not that, as anyone listening to shows by Lauren Laverne, Jarvis Cocker or Jon Richardson will attest. Other calls for some of it’s content to be incorporated into Radio 1 and Radio 2 are equally ridiculous. Both stations are wildly more mainstream than 6 Music, and any attempt to shoe in some of 6’s passionate, openminded, largely unplaylisted shows would be severely compromised by demands to reach much larger audiences than 6 was ever intended to. The BBC Trust is reviewing the proposals for cuts, and have said that 6 Music could stay if there is clear public support for it to do so. Tim Davie, head of audio and music at the BBC said this week, rather unconvincingly, that he was ‘passionate’ about the station, but followed up by saying he ultimately had to support the decision
to tighten the BBC’s focus. Whilst this is disappointing, it is still three months until the Trust makes it’s final decision, and readers would do well to voice their opposition to the axe, by signing petitions, emailing the Trust, and visiting their online consultation page to give your opinion at: https://consultations.external.bbc. co.uk/departments/bbc/bbc-strategyreview/consultation/consult_view It is part of the BBC’s job to provide niche services that no commercial broadcaster would dream of commissioning because of the lack of potential for profit. 6 Music is the best example of how the BBC have fulfilled this duty brilliantly, not only providing a service with a limited audience, but also doing it better than any other broadcasting organisation could ever have managed.
Goulding; adorably shit. Like a chihuahua. Covered in shit.
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Tuesday 9 March 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Review 19
They told you they were freaky
TV BELLAMY'S PEOPLE
Richard Dennis finds the 'journalists' much more sickening than the freaks in this apparent shock-doc
conscience’, and then, at the end of it all, have the sheer audacity to declare that ‘this is real life rawness.’ No. What they are reporting is not real life, it is, at best, fringe events that happen with such rarity as to be statistically insignificant and are only made public for two reasons: 1) the voyeuristic pleasure of the reader, and 2)
“
This is a bland, easy look at the Barnum carnivale"
JOURNALISTS: What a load of wanky, hypocritical, coke-snorting, scruffy bunch of knobheads, the lot of 'em. reaks have always been big money. F Back in the day you’d have to go to your local carnival to get a look at those
sad individuals who’d taken a wrong turn somewhere in Nature and ended up with an arm sticking out of their mouths. As you’d gaze in at their weird, twisted features you’d feel an odd mix of revulsion and pleasure that it wasn’t you. Then you’d pay your two cents and bugger off home, happy that you’d confirmed to yourself that you weren’t a freak. Nowadays the medium may have changed, but the process is almost identical. The ringleaders (or journal-
ists, if you must) are still there, hollering at punters to line up and part with their money to peer in at the freaks, which they eagerly do everytime they buy one of those magazines with a typical headline of, ‘I had kinky sex with Bishop while nuns watched!’. You get your voyeuristic kicks, the hacks get their money, and the freaks keep on freaking. My Daughter Grew another Head and other True Life Stories, bar the odd attempt at a probing question, isn’t investigative, nor is it a documentary, nor is it a straight up exploitation film - it’s just a bland, easy look at this Barnum carnivale. Even so, it quickly exposes who the arseholes par excellence are in
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this whole debacle; those hypocritical, talentless, money-obsessed fucktards who have the audacity to call themselves journalists. At not one single point do these scumbags come across as anything but self-serving hypocrites who’d sell their own grandmother if she’d sucked off a goat. Without a trace of irony they will quite happily admit that there’s always ‘at least an element of truth that has to be made into a story to make it interesting’, will positively cream themselves when they can print a story that’s 100% juicy enough not to embellish, say that, ‘my personal morals won’t allow me to be choosy about what I do’, claim, ‘I can’t wrestle with my
money. Lots and lots of money. From the bloke who worked in a kitchen with a cannibal chef, to the groom who wore a bridesmaid dress to his wedding, they all tell their story for the same reason, to make a bit of cash (around £1,000 a pop). It’s hard to judge those who’ve had a shitty time of it and want some cash, but quite why having your intimate details spread out for all to see is therapeutic is never really made clear. Indeed, one post-op transgender who was married but hadn’t told her partner yet and had sold her story to a rag was filmed reading the story for the first time. Needless to say she was outraged at the way her words had been manipulated, but she was never asked why she thought this was the best way to go about dealing with her issues. In fact, this show never went deep enough at all. The woman who had her rapist's baby, a possibly interesting story among the myriad of weirdos, is given a five second slot, and when it tries to end on a note that justifies this evil industry, you just want to take a glass of acid to your face and join the travelling circus.
Because she wants to
Debbie Hicks starts a new chapter of Secret Diary of a Call Girl
S
ex really can sell anything, can’t it? Even ITV’s self-proclaimed “profound insight” into the experiences of London escort Brooke Magnanti, alias Belle de Jour, which is probably the most poorly written piece of television to grace our screens since Heil! Honey I’m Home, the Hitler sit-com, was axed after a single episode. The ‘plot’ (and I use the term loosely) of the first episode of series 3 follows Belle’s book launch and subsequent endeavour to produce a sequel, which she miraculously hands over a few minutes later. The other 15 minutes just seem to be an excuse for Billie Piper to show off the latest additions to the ITV costume store. Forgive me, but surely that’s overlooking some fairly crucial elements of script
writing - character development, thematic exploration, for example? I’m all for women’s empowerment, sexual freedom etc., and I take my hat off to Dr Magnanti, but the programme was so insubstantial that I can do nothing but lump it with that vast area of modern media that tries to excuse society’s less ethical habits, particularly as more and more young women use services like dateamillionaire. com to keep them in Prada handbags and physiotherapy degrees. There’s no intrigue or excitement, unless you’re the type who’d enjoy watching Billie et al strut around in their pants. And don’t expect any of the “intelligent, witty and wry” commentary for which the book is famed, apart from a 20 second spiel 17 minutes in. Oh, and no one has body hair. That’s just fricking weird.
I
f you've been reading this section of The Student on a relatively regular basis, you may have noticed a certain area of current television that causes us great concern. After the débâcle of The Persuasionists, which was shifted to a later slot because of embarrassing audience figures, and BBC Three's godawful Coming of Age, which is heroically testing out new ways to lower the common denominator of the average viewer, there seemed to be a real lull in high-quality, intelligent and, most importantly of all, funny British comedy programmes. The days in which on any given Friday you could see an episode of The Office, Spaced, Black Books or Peep Show have started to feel further away than they actually are. Rejoice, then, because a show exists that might just become your new favourite: Bellamy's People is a spin-off from Radio 4's Down the Line, and concerns presenter Gary Bellamy's quest to discover and inanely chat to all the different sorts of people that populate this great country. It's a mockumentary of sorts, with Bellamy played to incompetent perfection by Rhys Thomas, and an array of British comedy luminaries, such as Paul Whitehouse, Charlie Higson, Simon Day and Lucy Montgomery, as the eccentric interviewees. All right, so it's not an entirely original concept, seeing as it's a televisual upgrade of radio programme, and the mockumentary as a format has been used a little too much since the success of Ricky Gervais et al, and the people behind it were seen doing very similar things fifteen years ago in The Fast Show, but come on! This is the first proper, amusing, clever, witty and comforting little show to come along in ages, and it deserves all the love and attention it can get. You might think that 'comforting' is quite a strange word to describe a programme, but that's exactly how it feels when you watch it. The actors have clearly invested a lot of warmth and affection into their inherently ridiculous and archetypal creations, and because of its mockumentary setup, there's a certain 'realness' to the characters that endears them to you; it's like sitting in your favourite pub, listening to your weird but wonderful mates shoot the breeze. In fairness, it's a little low on the laugh-count, but it seems like the kind of show that'll grow on you. The more time you spend with these people, the more you become used to their quirks and charms, and start to find just the way they give a certain look funny. And as each episode has a distinct theme, the makers can explore quite interesting and serious topics in a heartwarming and playful manner. Go on, give it a watch. In a BBC where not even quality product like 6 Music is safe, people need to show that there is an audience for telly that is properly good and funny. Paddy Douglas
Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
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20 Lifestyle MISS HOW-TO
Does my ass look big?
Eloise Kohler takes us on a high street hunt for the percect fitting jeans A
I
t’s what everyone’s talking about – yes, let the messy, stressful business of flat hunting commence. Flat hunting generally takes place in beige, soulless letting agencies and overpriced, unpleasant flats whilst a lady called Pat breathes down your neck until you scream, “Fine! I’ll take it!” in a fit of exasperation. Finding your ideal flatmates can be equally tough - many a student has agreed to share a flat with that cool bloke from downstairs who’s got a PlayStation AND a widescreen, only to discover, a fortnight in, their habit of leaving the freezer door open and pubic hairs on the loo seat. Yes, flat hunting’s a nightmare – but we can’t give you a sugary cuppa to help you calm down, so how about some pointers to make your life a bit easier instead? First off, flatmates. It's a bit like choosing fantasy dinner party guests, only in a real-life situation. Obviously. In no particular order, you’ll need: someone similar to you in terms of food, studying and drinking preferences (and an ally is always useful in electricity bill wars); someone whose party lifestyle and love of skodka have earned them a nickname like Alky Andy or something similar; someone laid-back, yet borderline OCD when it comes to cleanliness (always a tricky combo to find, but you’ll be very grateful when you don’t have to look at last night’s kebab remnants because someone’s already popped them in a Tesco bag then chucked them in the wheelie bin). Avoid, at all costs, snide noteleavers, totally irresponsible moochers and wildly unhygienic hermits. They’re quite easy to spot - just look out for people whose yogurts have their name printed on it in biro, who always crash at yours because they’ve run out of taxi money, and who everyone moves away from in the lecture theatre, respectively. Right, so you’ve got your dream team sorted - now for the flats. Unless you have an indecent amount of energy, you’re going to need somewhere close to uni with a good local and a chippy round the corner. Ask around: friends of friends might be moving out of a great flat, or even looking for a new flatmate. Various letting agencies have loads of student flats, but do some research – some companies (you know who you are, Grant Management and The Flat Company) don’t have a particularly good reputation. Also, never underestimate the value of viewing a flat in real life; the photos of a pristine white kitchen won’t show the draughty windows or noisy neighbours. Keep calm, but move quickly and happy hunting!
Caitlin McDonald
ccording to this month’s Vogue, jeans are back in. Shock. Horror. Gasp. Wait, when were they out again? Having always been a skirt girl, I was warned before coming to Edinburgh that jeans would become my new staple. I laughed. I scorned. I ended up buying four pairs. Jeans are versatile, wearable and understatedly chic. However, an unbearable number of us still buy jeans that are utterly unflattering. To remedy this all-toocommon affliction, I was sent on a hunt to find the perfect pair of jeans in some of Edinburgh’s most popular stores. Armed with four of my girlfriends, each with very different body types, I set off to find bum-enhancing, leg-lengthening jeans for us all. First stop was Topshop, which had an obscene assortment of jeans in cut and wash, from bootcut to jeggings to skinny to tapered. Mariah, pear-shaped and proud, first inquired, “Are the sizes smaller than they say?” This sentiment was generally agreed on within the group, apart from my friend Zara, a skinny malinky who looked good in most of the styles. She looked especially KateMoss-effortless
in the high waisted jean shorts. Sickening. For my 5’3” friend Keira, there was a Petite range designed specifically for her shape and size as well. The higher waistline, narrower hips and shorter leg length were all designed to compliment the smaller girl’s figure. The personal shoppers were super-helpful too. They helped us find some tight jeans to lengthen her beautifully... Next up was New Look, which has undergone vast improvements to dispel the “tween age” stigma surrounding it. There were bold signs explaining, in clear terms, how each cut fit, able to enlighten even the most fashion-ignorant. New Look jeans were especially enhancing for pear-shaped Mariah, with the 'Flair Cut' skimming over the hips smoothly creating controlled curves. The assortment is also within the student budget, and with a student discount all year round, they seem like a good option. However, having previously bought a pair, a downside I have discovered is that after a few wears the jeans don’t keep the same shape. So if you are jeans shopping from New Look, I would recommend buying a pair that is one size too small, not because you aim to lose the weight to fit into them (a horrible shopping lie too many tell themselves), but because they will naturally loosen with time. H&M then followed and I was distinctly unimpressed. It got heated in the changing rooms as we all attempted to try on different styles, not helped by a specific low-point in which the three of us held Mariah down as we attempted to button her into some skinnies. While the store advertised a variety of styles, the jeans seemed to be purely designed for the athletic figure, so Isabelle was in her element. The skinny and straight-leg jeans seemed tailored for her while the lack of detailing kept her body streamlined and balanced. However for the rest of us, the search continued. On then to the self-titled “home of premium jeans”, the Gap. They completely outrange Topshop, and the assistants are all wonderfully qualified. Being more of a strawberry myself, (which apparently is the new terminology for top-heavy), I found Gap jeans the most accessible. The 'Real Straight' style
loooked fab and the 'Perfect Boot' cut added volume to the lower half and brought balance. The slouchy 'Boyfriend' jeans are God’s gift to the skinny and flat chested, thus Isabelle and Zara looked beautifully chic in them. Gap jeans are gorgeously tailored, however they are certainly not cheap due to the jean being their current piece-du-jour. Finally was Urban Outfitters, a newfound haven for many Edinburgh students, as illustrated by the absurd amount of their brown paper bags being sported around George Square. On the whole, Urban Outfitters jeans were not the most flattering or the least expensive. However, their range of funky styles gives them a definite edge. As in this season's Vogue and Elle, the jeans in Urban Outfitters aren’t just called bootcut or flared; they’re ripped, sissy floral, anti-fit. The Silence and Noise 'Two Button High Waisted' jeans were my personal favourite, but their diverse range accentuated each body shape. As we headed back weighed down by bags, like Frodo and Sam, we had learned a lot. When shopping for jeans there are so many questions to ask yourself. Are they comfortable? What will it go with? Am I ever/always going to fit into these? They can be worn with anything and everything, thus carefully consider your denim prospects, and you’ ll end up looking more high fashion than wild west.
HEALTH TIP OF THE WEEK: Pop in your lenses post-shower. According to researchers from the University of Illinois at Chicago, soaping up while wearing your contacts can expose your eyes to infection-causing waterborne microbes.
Bit of a foodie, maybe a fashionista? Express yourself in Lifestyle lifestyle.studentnewspaper@googlemail.com
Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Lifestyle 21
Passage to India... Kismot
WALKING INTO Kismot, my friend and I were given an enthusiastic welcome from Abdul Ali - a son of the Kismot family - who promptly seated us a window-side table. Amidst the mix of contemporary decor, rustic Indian smells and very friendly atmosphere, we felt particularly comfortable as two menus and a plate of poppadoms immediately appeared before us. Munching our way through these appetizers, accompanied by a various selection of pickled sauces, we browsed the extensive menu that includes traditional Indian favourites, vegetarian specialities, a wide selection of side dishes and the ominously titled ‘Kismot Killer’ as they use the hottest chillies in the world and it is only for the bravest of consumers. It may be a suitable for a male sports team who would perhaps enjoy the Jackass-style challenge. My friend and I opted for potentially less fatal choices. Starting with the mixed pakora and the chicken version, I was blown away by Mrs Kismot’s homemade, secret recipe mango sauce. Our main dishes of Lamb Amm and King Prawn Bhuna, served with mushroom rice and a garlic naan (no kisses for us that
night) could not be faulted. The tender lamb and creamy mango sauce complemented the fragrant rice perfectly and the plump prawns in the well-spiced, tangy tomato based sauce were mouth-wateringly tasty. After finishing these hearty portions we were convinced there was no room for more, but Abdul, our ever-attentive server, was having none of it and brought us the speciality chocolate filled naan bread, which almost caused a domestic over the last piece. The Kismot family however, is not satisfied with this already creative menu, as not only does the restaurant ask you to BYOB, it will soon be giving customers the option to BYOC, meaning 'Bring Your Own Chocolate', allowing the kitchen to prepare the chocolatefilled naan dessert of your own design. Overall, this restaurant combines a traditional family atmosphere with a fun party vibe making it suitable for a dinner for two or ideal for a birthday party/society meal, and is a stone’s throw away from the University campus. If impeccable, friendly service and homemade, flavoursome Indian food with the optional twist is what you are after, then Kismot is definitely the place to go.
Abee McCallum
LYNSAY MORGAN
We Want You!
Red Fort DON’T BE fooled by its humble exterior: the Red Fort is one of the finer Indian restaurants in the central area. You may be familiar with their lunch menu, a buffet that includes a welcome drink and dessert or tea/coffee option to finish the meal for just £6.50. Their dinner menu is an exquisite collection of some of the best Indian flavours, some of which are available at lunchtime which is always bustling with customers. We were earnestly welcomed in by the general manager, Russell, who caters to all his clientele with generosity and a warm and
friendly smile. He told us that when Red Fort first opened, it was specifically intended for students. These days you're more likely to see a mix of business men and tourists in there, but it remains a student favourite, especially during the lunch-time buffet offer. Serving entirely halal meats, their dinner menu is extensive, offering vegetarian options and specials. For a starter we opted for the King Prawn Puri, a battered juicy prawn which was mouth-wateringly good - fresh and spicy. For our mains we had the chicken bhuna and chicken korma with saffron pilau and garlic naan, to share, which were all tantalisingly delicious, perfectly spicy and creamy respectively.
The food was remarkably filling and with some cajoling from the amicable waiting staff we were persuaded to try the ice cream – a wonderfully cool conclusion to our meal. While not exclusively for students Red Fort does do the financially overdrawn youth a favour with their 10% student discounts and well-priced dinner offering of two courses for a measly £10.95. Their ever-devoted staff makes every dining experience feel like a VIP one, and combined with their flavoursome food, the Red Fort should be on every student's restaurant map. Just BYOB (there’s no corkage fee) and a large appetite!
Jayne Bagel
You will receive none of these things.
Email us with your stories and ideas at lifestyle. studentnewspaper@gmail. com
Puzzles
Oscar Wilde on the differences between literature and journalism:
The Student Crossword #20 ACROSS
“
Solutions
Sudoku is a logic-based number-placement puzzle. The objective is to fill the 9×9 grid so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3×3 boxes (also called blocks or regions) contains the digits from 1 to 9 only once.
HITORI The object of Hitori is to eliminate numbers by shading in the squares such that remaining cells do not contain numbers that appear more than once in either a given row or column. Filled-in cells cannot be horizontally or vertically adjacent, although they can be diagonally adjacent. The remaining un-filled cells must form a single component (i.e there must be no isolated numbers)
11. Inquires (4) 14. Cuban dance (5) 16. Unit of weight (3) 17. Regions (5) 19. 19th letter of the Greek alphabet (3) 20. Capital of the Bahamas (6)
CHARITIES SPOT FRESH AIR CHARITY AUCTION
21. Engaged in action (6) 23. Insignificant (4) 24. Small ornament (7) 25. Wanders away (6) 26. Doorkeeper (6) 28. Brother of Moses (5) 32. Male sheep (3)
This Week's Horoscopes... AQUARIUS Jan 21 —Feb 19
T he sun is coming out.
You should probably run and find cover or your glowing, shimmering skin will attract all the screaming tweens who aren't already stalking R-Patz. PISCES Feb 20—Mar 20
It
is still technically your birthday. You won't get anything from the one person you truly love, except a trail of rabbit droppings.
you usually do with your free time. By the way, you should stop doing that thing you do anyway: you could go blind. Just sayin'. CANCER June 22—July 23
J
ust one look and I can hear a bell ring. One more look and I forget everything. Mamma Mia, here I go again, my my how can I resist you? LEO July 24—Aug 23
Y
ou're welcome. Our amazing astrological skills saved your butt ARIES Mar 21—April 20 last week. This week, thankfully pressure is off as Jupiter e promised you good moves away and Mars aligns with things would happen Venus, so relax, no one is at home and indeed they are. stuck on the toilet waiting for you From being overworked to get back from the shopping and underpaid your week is looktrip. ing up. You will still be overworked and underpaid, but - what are we VIRGO Aug 24—Sep 23 saying? Your life is still pathetic; carry on as usual. hot-headed Aries will get on your nerves all TAURUS April 21 —May 21 week. Before you retaliate by poisoning the milk, id you flush all the think about how well this turned evidence and burn the out last time...Yeah, just put the newspaper it came in? Rat-Be-Gone down and walk away. Now all that's left to do Not everyone must become their is kill the guy at the chippy, he is mother. the only witness.
W
Fresh Air, Edinburgh’s student radio station, is holding its annual charity auction on Sunday 21st March at City Cafe. Up for grabs are all sorts of great prizes including wine tasting, signed Rangers FC memorabilia, guitar lessons, vouchers for Body Shop and Mosko hair salon, deluxe gifts from Lush, Fat Face clothing, tickets to Caberet Voltaire, Vue Cinemas and Our Dynamic Earth and much, much more. This year’s chosen charity is Waverley Care, Scotland’s leading charity providing care and support to people living with HIV and Hepatitis C. Profits from the auction will be split between the station and Waverley Care, who are celebrating their 21st birthday in 2010. Fans of fine dining are in for a treat as top Edinburgh restaurants King’s Balti, Double Dutch, Mussel Inn, as well as student favourite The Tron, have all donated complimentary meal vouchers to the auction. The auction kicks off at 7pm at City Cafe on March 21st
CROSSWORD
Hitori #20
SUDOKU
2. Self-destruction (7) 3. Dove sound (3) 4. Small stones (6) 5. Nimble (5) 6. Hesitates (6) 7. Covered with grass (6) 9. Inform (6)
Puzzles
Sudoku #20
1. Pertaining to psychology (13) 8. Maintenance (7) 10. Soldier (7) 12. Small in amount (6) 13. Wool-clippers (8) 15. Unwavering (9) 18. Vacant (5) 21. Wrath (5) 22. Group of instruments (9) 27. Small spoon (8) 29. Elder (6) 30. Kind or sort (7) 31. Jailer (7) 33. An estimate that is too low (13)
DOWN
Journalism is not readable and literature is not read. That is all."
A
D
GEMINI May 22—June 21
R evision
seems like Everest right now, and you're the one-legged 80 year-old man making his first mountaineering attempt. You probably should have done the work instead of doing what it is
LIBRA Sept 24—Oct 23
C
ould life be any better for you dear Libra? Your essays are done, the sun has been shinning all week and at long last that dodgy itch down there has cleared.
SCORPIO Oct 24—Nov 22
H
armony and understanding. Sympathy and trust abandoning. No more falsehoods and derisions. Golden living dream of visions. SAGITTARIUS Nov 23—Dec 21
A
s Mercury moves around the solar system, the Sun stands stationary. Mercury is to the Sun what a dog is to a what? Tricky, isn't it? CAPRICORN Dec 22 —Jan 20
S
ometimes depicted as a sea-goat, and sometimes as a terrestrial goat. The reasons for this are unknown, but the image of a sea-goat goes back at least to Babylonian times. There, now you know more about yourself, Capricorn, than you ever thought possible.
Astrologist: Wanja Ochwada
Random Google Image for the week.
Got your eye on the ball? Email sport@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 9 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Sport 23
Formula One Season to be Best Yet?
TAKES A LOOK AT THE WORLD OF SPORT
Jon Parkin looks ahead to what promises to be an exhilarating Formula One season
Old Firm dominance
IT’S HARD not to get excited by this year’s Formula One season, which kicks off this Sunday in Bahrain. Whether it’s the return of seven-time champion Michael Schumacher, the prospect of an all-British line up with the two most recent world champions at McLaren or the will-they-won’t-they struggle of the new teams trying to make the grid, the winter off-season has given us plenty to talk about. Many predict this to be the season when McLaren and Ferrari return to the top after a dismal 2009 (at least by their high standards). Last year was of course all about the fairytale of Brawn GP, rising from the ashes of Honda’s withdrawal to win both world championships. Jenson Button’s title success was an incredible story for the sport, but 2010 raises the prospect of even more compelling episodes. How will the new world champion fare against the man he replaced, Lewis Hamilton, in an identical McLaren? And how will Schumacher, the most successful F1 driver of all time, settle at Button’s old team, now rebranded Mercedes GP? There are a lot of people who believe Hamilton will simply be too good for Button at McLaren this season. After all, this is the team Lewis has been a part of it for his whole career whereas Button has made the brave decision to start afresh for 2010 and will need time to adjust to his new surroundings. Granted, Hamilton’s defence of
his crown last year was far from smooth: the car was severely off the pace for the first half of the season and his miseries were only compounded when he was found guilty of misleading the stewards and stripped of his points in Australia. But recovering from those dark days almost certainly strengthened Lewis mentally and his and McLaren’s resurgence to win two races in the second half of 2009 are testament to the determination of a driver and team determined to recapture their past glory. No doubt about it, Jenson has work to do if he is to beat his team mate this season, but he seems confident and the results should be fascinating. Let’s not forget that Hamilton has a history of not exactly getting along with strong team mates. For the past two years he has enjoyed Heikki Kovalainen playing the number two role to him but before that, in his debut season, Lewis was paired alongside double champion Fernando Alonso and the partnership was far from sweet. McLaren had the fastest car for most of that 2007 season but failed to manage their drivers sufficiently and Hamilton and Alonso finished joint second in the standings behind Kimi Raikkonen, who has this year left F1 to pursue a career in world rallying. Whilst we have an all-British team to cheer in McLaren, the German fans will no doubt be behind Mercedes this year with their line-up of Schumacher and Nico Rosberg. You cannot help
but feel a little sorry for Rosberg, who signed for the team before the news of Schumacher’s historic comeback broke and is now almost certain to play the number two role in the team to Michael. The 41-year old is returning to drive for Ross Brawn, now team manager of Mercedes, who guided Schumacher to his championships at Benetton and Ferrari. It will be fascinating to see just how competitive he still is against the likes of Hamilton, the pair’s careers never overlapping until now. One can never write off Ferrari for long in Formula 1 and from winter testing they seem to be the team to beat. Alonso joins the team after years of waiting and he will be keen to drive a car which can give him a true shot at the championship once again. His team mate Felipe Massa returns after the horrific injury he suffered after being struck by a moving part from another car whilst qualifying for last summer’s Hungarian Grand Prix. His determination will be higher than ever and the combination of a Brazilian and a Spaniard within the team means Latin tempers are likely to fray at some point this season. In the merry-go-round that is the driver market, Red Bull are the only top team to retain both their drivers: Mark Webber and 2009 runner-up Sebastian Vettel. Continuity seems to be paying off: they finished last year with the fastest car and times from testing show they have lost none of
their pace. It’s no surprise that many of the 2010 cars in the paddock are very close in design to last year’s Red Bull. There will be three new teams on the grid this year. Lotus look the best prepared of the debutants whilst Virgin have gone for a radical approach, designing their car entirely from Computational Fluid Dynamics without a windtunnel. Then there’s HRT, which until last week was called Campos Meta. An eleventhhour takeover and much-needed financial injection means this team should defy the odds and make the season opener in Bahrain on Sunday. This cannot be said for the USF1 team, however, who have failed to raise the funds to race this season, despite investment from YouTube co-founder Chad Hurley. Every new season brings about rule changes and the big one this year is the ban on refuelling. Drivers will start a race on full tanks of fuel with relatively cold tyres and brakes, which could lead to costly misjudgements at the first corner come Sunday. The success of a pitstop will now be governed by how quickly wheel changes are completed, with teams aiming for a staggeringly quick three second turnaround. One slip up for a fraction of a second could make or break a race. Add to this a new points-scoring system aimed at encouraging drivers to push for the win and not settle for second, plus an all new Grand Prix in Korea to look forward to and we really could have a vintage season on our hands.
No longer just an American dream
Will Lyon asserts that ice hockey is on the rise as a global sport ICE HOCKEY is often considered a sport only played across the Atlantic, in the USA and Canada. However, these assumptions would be wrong. Ice hockey is one of the fastest growing sports in the world right now and we actually have our own professional leagues in Britain. Indeed, Edinburgh has a team playing at the Murrayfield Ice Rink, who participate in the Elite League, which is the top rated division in Britain. Although there are professional teams all over Europe, the best players in the world play in the National Hockey League, which contains Canadian and North American teams. Believe it or not, ice hockey is the ‘football of Canada’. It’s the national sport and supporters turn up in their thousands to watch their local teams fight it out with the rest of the league. The recent Winter Olympics at Vancouver was well presented by the BBC and they portrayed just how much ice hockey means to the entire Canadian population. The women’s competition was dominated by the usual two teams, Canada and USA and in the end the Canadians won the gold medal fairly comfortably, but we saw some great trickery and skills along the way. The men’s competition is actually more agressive, as demonstrated by underdogs Sweden achieving gold at the last Winter Olympics in Turin. However, this year the Swedes crashed out in the Quarter Finals and instead we were treated to a rival battle be-
tween Canada and USA in the Final. With just 28 minutes of play, it looked like Canada were going to grab the gold medal as they cruised to a 20 lead thanks to goals from Jonathon Toews and Corey Perry. However, despite their two goal deficit, the USA were not finished. They pulled a goal back later in the second period, thanks to Ryan Kesler. Then with one minute left to play the USA dramatically pulled their goaltender and brought an extra skater onto the ice. With just 25 seconds of the game remaining the USA did the unbelievable and tied the game with a goal from Zach Parise. The game went into overtime where we saw some unbelievable play from both sides as they went gung ho for the winner. It arrived on the 67th minute as Canadian Sidney Crosby, slipped the puck through Ryan Miller’s pads and rushed off with teammates in celebration. It was fitting that Canada managed to win gold in ‘their sport’, in front of their passionate, demanding fans in such dramatic circumstances. Sidney Crosby may not be a well known name to many Brits, but the 22 year-old is actually the highest rated hockey player of our time. He’s the Christiano Ronaldo, the Lionel Messi and Wayne Rooney of ice hockey and it’s a travesty that Crosby and others aren’t recognised sporting elites in our country. However, times are changing, millions of people worldwide were completely glued to their televisions for the last twenty minutes of the ice hockey final and indeed two million
tuned in, from Britain alone. With spectacles of such incredible talent, the media in this country need to start showing a deeper interest in the fastest team game in the world. The Edinburgh Capitals are the only team in Scotland competing in Britain’s top ice hockey league and with crowds of 500-700, they struggle along each year to keep up with the teams in England, such as the Sheffield Steelers who regularly have 4,000 punters watching their team. One of the biggest problems is the lack of media coverage and advertising of the matches. Despite what you may think, the quality of play is actually very high. The Caps have the lowest budget of the Elite League, yet they finance
eleven imports from Canada, USA and European countries. These players are full time and they make up a huge part of the squad which is otherwise filled with part time Scottish players. However, some good news for the Caps is that next season, Glasgow will have their own team in the Elite League, the Braehead Clan. Hopefully the close proximity of the clubs will boost crowds next season and create an intense rivalry. Financial constraints will always be a problem for ice hockey teams in Britain until more spectators turn up and this can be triggered by more media coverage. Ice hockey is not only a Canadian sport, it is a worldwide sport and people should be aware of the high quality on offer in rinks around the country.
GOLDEN BOY: Sidney Crosby nets the goal medal winning goal against the USA
Injury Time
THINK BACK to Saturday, 30 January for a minute. Hibernian had just finished off St. Mirren at Easter Road and the 2-1 win meant they were just two points off Glasgow giants, Celtic. Just three weeks later after a horrendous set of results, the Leith side found themselves eight points off Celtic and just one ahead of Dundee United. After hanging on the coattails of the Old Firm for over five months, what has happened to Hibs? There has been no injury or suspension crisis at Easter Road, but after a 3-0 beating from Rangers and a 5-1 drubbing by SPL new boys, St. Johnstone, Hibs manager John Hughes must be scratching his head at what’s gone wrong. To be fair to Hughes, he has constantly stated that his aim for the season was to get Hibs into third place, which he has so far achieved. However, it would not be farfetched to assume that Hughes and his players secretly believed that this was the year they could split the Old Firm monopoly in the SPL. This season is surely one of the best chances for a team to challenge the dominance of Celtic and Rangers. The Ibrox side are effectively being run by the bank. Meanwhile, their city rivals Celtic have yet to look convincing as they go through a transitional period, in which eight players have arrived and eleven have left the club. There will be few better opportunities for a non Old Firm club, to challenge for second place and above. However, the gap that exists between the two Glasgow giants and the rest is still huge. Rangers and Celtic have comfortably bigger squads than the rest of Scotland as well as trusted youth players such as Danny Wilson and Josh Thompson that can comfortably fill the boots of missing stars.Let’s also bear in mind that, despite the financial problems at Rangers, many of their squad were bought for substantial money. Kevin Thomson and Kyle Lafferty were bought for two and three million pounds respectively and despite an early exit from European competitions this season, Celtic currently have no financial problems and they spent £3.8 million on striker Marc-Antoine Fortune last July. When you compare these spendings to the free transfers of Liam Miller and Graeme Smith to Hibs it is clear to see the difference in quality between the Old Firm and Hibs. For the foreseeable future, the gap between the Old Firm and others is not going to close significantly. When you compare the sizes of all three clubs, there really is no way that Hibs should be challenging the Old Firm and as Celtic begin to gel, they should also comfortably pull away from the Hibees.
Will Lyon
Sport
studentnewspaper.org Tuesday March 9 2010
The Race Is On
Jon Parkin previews the forthcoming Formula One season P23
Dutch invaders retain Korfball trophy Martin Domin rounds up the latest sporting action across Edinburgh took place at Glasgow’s Kelvin Hall. at the end of last month. The events kicked off with the women’s long jump and 60m heats. Edinburgh’s Kirsty Barr jumped an impressive 5.40m to take the gold medal in the long jump before she then went on to take gold in the Edinburgh-dominated high jump event, with Amelia Sheldon taking the silver. The men’s long jump was a ‘long’ affair with 22 competitors. Edinburgh’s Simon Herron jumped his
way to silver with 6.17m behind Aberdeen’s Gary McKay, who jumped an inspiring 6.47m. Herron also claimed victory in the men’s high jump ahead of Stirling’s Jamie Hannah. Silver medals were collected by Emma Gordon in the 60m hurdles and shot put, Claire McNicol in the 400m event and Catherine Gallagher in the women’s triple jump. The women’s shot put was won by Edinburgh’s Courtney Maguire throwing a distance of 7.56m.
Back on the track, Nicci Chapman finished the 3000m 10 minutes ahead of the opposition to take gold. There was a tense 25 seconds during the men’s 200m heats which saw a battle between Edinburgh’s Sean Gibson and Jay Collins. It was a close finish with Sean claiming the 0.6 second victory. This topped off a successful day for the former as he also set a personal best in both the long jump and the triple jump earlier in the afternoon.
In the last event of the day, Edinburgh saw victory thrice more with a win in the 4 x 200m men’s relay by the A team, 4 x 200m female relay and 4 x 400m female relay. Edinburgh walked away with the Spencer French and Appleton trophies, and shared the inter-regional trophy with St. Andrews. On the points table Edinburgh were placed top of the Championship with a 78 point lead over the hosts Glasgow University.
NEIL HODGINS
DUTCH SIDE Paal Central retained their title at the annual Edinburgh University International Korfball Tournament, a two day tournament played across the CSE Pleasance and St Leonards. Teams were invited internationally and from all across the UK and 20 teams were then picked to participate including all three Edinburgh University teams. The tournament began with group games with four groups containing five teams all playing each other once. Edinburgh University's first team got off to a great start winning their first game before drawing against the current champions. Coming third in their group they went on to play in a round robin to fight for a position from 9th – 12th. The second team started equally well winning one and drawing one of their games but only managed to finish fourth in their group. This put them in a knockout round to be placed 13th – 20th. The tournament provided the newly formed third team an opportunity to play more experienced teams and they gave a brave and solid performance. Coming bottom of their group also put them into the same knockout round as the second team. The first team continued their strong and confident performance by winning their remaining matches to finish a very respectable ninth. The second and third team faced some tough competition in the knockout round and disappointedly lost their remaining matches. This led to an Edinburgh University second and third team battle for 19th and 20th place. The match began evenly with both teams attacking well and narrowing missing shots. The second team found a goal after ten minutes and before running out 4-0 winners after a tough and tense remaining final few minutes. The final was played between defending champions Paal Central and first time young visitors Barcelona. Barcelona put in a brave and fighting performance against the experienced Dutch side but in the end they retained their title with an exceptional performance. The turnout was expected to be the best in a few years with 13 universities entered for the day. Edinburgh made an impressive entrance with over twice the number of athletes of any other university attending. Edinburgh was bringing the Appleton trophy back after winning it from Glasgow University last year, with hopes to take it home once more. Meanwhile, the Scottish Universities Athletics Indoor Championships
ALL EYES ON THE BALL: Players watch in expectation during the Edinburgh University Korfball tournament