Tuesday March 2 2010 | Week 8
EUSA ELECTION EXTRAVAGANZA
NEWS
» P4-5
S cott ish S t udent Ne wspaper of the Year 2009 S I N C E 1887
T H E U K ' S O LD E S T S T U D EN T N EW S PA P ER
EUSA GM overshadowed by apathy
PRESIDENTIAL RACE HEATS UP: Tom Crewther, Liz Rawlings and Laura-Jayne Baker take questions from the floor at the EUSA election hustings this past Friday. Voting opens on March 3rd on MyEd. Full election coverage on page 4 and 5...
TONY SIM
Anna MacSwan
Contrary to expectations, Scottish university funding set to increase
Over £40 million extra to be given to Scottish Universities and colleges during 2010-2011 Calum Leslie
SCOTTISH UNIVERSITIES are set to recieve increased funding over the coming year, the Scottish Government has announced. The budget for universities will rise by £40 million to a total of £1.076 billion as part of the Government’s higer education budget for 2010-2011. As part of the settlement colleges will also receive an extra £45 million in funding taking college funding to a total of £692.7 million. Annoucing the deal in a letter to
the Scottish Funding Council (SFC), Education Secretary, Michael Russell MSP said, “this settlement is more than fair in the current climate – it’s the highest budget since devolution and it recognises the pressures on colleges and universities as more people turn to further and higher education during this time.” He added, "Our funding for the SFC reflects our dedication to helping the sectors maintain the quality and excellence for which they are properly renowned." The Education Secretary also maintained that the money must be focused on ‘key priorities’ such as meeting the demand of increased numbers of applications to universities and colleges across Scotland. The annoucement has been met with a positive reaction from those within the higher education sector. Convener of Universities Scotland and principal of Glasgow University,
Anton Muscatelli claimed that Mr Russell’s letter made the government’s commitment to universities ‘crystal clear.’ He said, “universities fully recognise the pressures on public funding and will continue to work strategically and seek to build on our strong performance on efficiency savings.” Linda McTavish, the convener of Scotland’s Colleges Principals’ Convention, said the £692.7m for colleges was “welcome news for the large number of students expected to be applying for places in 2010”. The move has also been firmly welcomed by opposition MSPs. Labour’s Scottish education spokesperson, Claire Baker MSP, said extra funding for rural places was particularly welcome, and also urged the government to ensure funding was available to poor students. Liberal Democrat MSP, Margaret Smith, said the funding was essential
in preventing a ‘lost generation of students.’ The increases come in the context of substantial budget cuts in England to higer education. Earlier this month the UK Government announced that funding was to be cut by 5 per cent. The cuts have led to alarm over the fear of possible redundancies and cuts on student places. Though this is the higest settlement for Scottish universities since devolution, it remains to be seen as to whether the Scottish Government will be able to afford such settlments after the next UK general election. Higher education in Scotland is funded through part of the block grant that Holyrood receives from the Westminster Government. Commentators have warned that any public spending cuts afer the next election could have a detrimental impact on higer education funding in Scotland. news@studentnewspaper.org
STUDENT POLITICS was marred by apathy once again as last Tuesday’s General Meeting began 40 students short of the required 300 to make a motion binding, and saw the failure of online referenda for the third time running. A majority voted in favour of motions to fight cuts to international student visas, implement an environmental strategy for EUSA, and to lobby the University for changes to the timetable for the bus which operates between George Square and King’s Buildings. Students also voted to ban Facebook in the Library during peak hours and to take direct action to improve feedback. Whilst the vote to change EUSA’s constitution to allow online referendum took place with enough students present to make the decision binding, the motion failed with 247 voting in favour, 41 against and 9 abstentions. The same proposal was put forward in last February’s General Meeting but fell similarly due to a lack of quoracy, and in November’s Annual General Meeting, when it was argued against by members of the Debates Union. EUSA President Thomas Graham ensured the electorate that whilst for the majority of the meeting there were insufficient numbers to make any decision binding, it nevertheless served as an “important indicator of what students are thinking”. Students voted overwhelmingly in favour of a motion put forward by Presidential candidate Laura Jayne Baker to fight against cuts to international student visas, that have undergone government review in wake of the attempted bombing of a flight to Detroit by a former student of University College London. Citing restrictions to applications from India and Nepal, Baker said: “Universities will only be able to compete if we educate and teach the best”. A motion proposed by Vice President Services James Wallace to implement an environmental strategy for EUSA with the primary goal to be carbon neutral by 2010 was also passed. Students also voted to lobby the University for changes to the KB bus Continued on page 2 »
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
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2
What’s in this issue NEWS »p1-7
»
Further meeting on the cards in attempt to introduce online voting From front page...
..Vice President Academic Affairs .move candidate Stevie Wise described the as being important in terms of
OXFORDIAN LOANS p6
Oxford University proposes new loan scheme to help poorer students
CONSERVATIVE YOUTH p7
Survey shows that students are making more conservative choices
COMMENT »p8-9 DEFICIT DICKS... p9
Andrew Lawrie comments on the Conservative's latest weapon
ARTS&FEATURES »p11-21 MOVE BITCH! GET OUT THE WAY p11 Features goes in depth with the Roller Derby girls
REBUS RETURNS...? p15
Culture talks to celebrated crime writer, Ian Rankin
“fair access to resources, study space and time management”, describing the University’s current attitude as “disgusting and showing a lack of understanding”. The motion passed despite criticism that true fairness would be to subsidise transport for all, chiefly students commuters. Controversially, a motion to ban students from using Facebook on library computers during the peak hours of 10:00 am to 4:30 pm Monday to Friday was also passed. Speaking in favour of the motion, student Megan Taylor said “This motion is not against Facebook or the people who use it, but about making the best use of resources… the library remains a place to study”. One student from South America, however, argued that such restrictions “assume that everyone has a laptop and can get in touch with their families easily”. Other speakers against the motion cited the fact that students often use Facebook for activities other than social networking, such as organizing society events or research for coursework.
The final vote resulted in a tie, leaving current EUSA President Thomas Graham to cast the decision making vote in favour of the motion, on the grounds that all arguments for and against indicated insufficient computing facilities in the library, and “what we want to see is more computers”. In a surprise development quoracy was achieved following the arrival of the Ballroom Dancing Society, led by VPSA candidate Amy Woodgate, prompting a move to discuss the motion to end General Meetings in favour of online referendum, with 1,000 as opposed to 300 votes required to pass. EUSA chief executive Anthony Blackshaw insisted that the demise of the formal General Meeting would not undermine debate, as referendums would be advertised and anyone eligible to vote would be allowed to campaign for and against motions. The last motion to be discussed was one put forward by Presidential Candidate Liz Rawlings to tackle the ongoing issue of academic feedback, an issue she has cited as a top priority should she be elected, saying that the University has “put in two years of work but has yet to see two years worth of results”.
The motion resolved to increase liaison between students and staff, highlight good feedback practice and in the absence of progress, to launch a highly visible campaign. Speaking on referendum after the General Meeting, Graham said: “It was very disappointing not to have made any progress. “The General Meeting does not operate in a fair and democratic manner. Given that this is the third time the referendum has been put forward and achieved over 70 per cent of the vote, it is absolutely clear that this is what students want.” He also said that the GM system was outdated, given that current figures of 300 for quoracy were set in 1974. Since then the size of the University has doubled. At Friday’s debate between the candidates standing for sabbatical positions in the upcoming EUSA elections, Graham revealed that the student’s association will push for an extraordinary General Meeting to be held to vote solely on referenda. Aside from being voted for at a General Meeting, the only alternative option for constitutional change is intervention by the University in exceptional circumstance. news@studentnewspaper.org
MOORE FOR MICHAEL p16
Film's Gordon Mclean reviews Capitalism: A Love Story
AVP - THE GAME p20
Alien Vs Predator gets a good review from Tech
GETTING A BIT FISHY p21
Lifestyle reviews the best seafood restraunts in Edinburgh
BALL SKILLZ p24
Our Rugby girls take on Sheffield - Alistair Shand reports EMPTY SEATS: The EUSA GM at the McEwan hall failed to attract large numbers of students as attempt to introduce online refernda failed for a second time
SHAN BERTELLI
SPORT »p23-24
Study drugs offer unfair advantage Robin Brown
p14 The Student Newspaper | 60 Pleasance, Edinburgh, EH8 9TJ Email: editors@studentnewspaper.org
A CAMBRIDGE academic has called for universities to thoroughly investigate the effects of cognitive enhancement drugs, which are increasingly available over the internet. Barbara Sahakian, a behavioural neuroscientists, has raised concerns that drugs such as Ritalin and modafinil could give students an unfair advantage. Such medicines, usually prescribed to combat conditions such as ADHD, Alzheimer’s, and narcolepsy, increase alertness in the brain. It is feared that students feel pressured to use such performance boosters as they see their peers doing
so. Modern study habits, with 24hour computer labs and continuous deadlines, appear to be increasingly based around sleepless nights and last minute cramming. Though many students frown on the use of the so-called ‘smart drugs’, seeing them as giving unfair gain to users without valid medical prescriptions, the need to level the playing field leads many to use them even if they feel uncomfortable with doing so. Information on how best to use the drugs to enhance performance is widely available on the internet. The Student found one American website which appeared to offer ritalin without the need for a prescription, delivered in ‘discrete packaging’ around the world. Membership alone cost a $25 subscription fee.
Sahakian said: ‘This is something that universities really have to discuss. They should have some strategy, some kind of active policy. Should there be urine testing? These questions have to be looked at.’ She also expressed concerns that 'smart drugs’, when bought over the internet, cannot be verified as to their exact contents. The long-term effects of the drugs are also unknown. The drugs are reportedly used by 16 percent of university students in the USA. Figures for the UK are unavailable. news@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
news@studentnewspaper.org
News 3
Edinburgh MP against fees
IN
Brief
Edinburgh band are Glastonbury hopefuls
LABOUR AND STUDENTS UNITE: EUSA President Thomas Graham and Mark Lazarowicz MP launch NUS 'Vote for Students' campaign on campus. “This is an incredibly important issue for students. We do want to see our universities funded properly, but not at the expense of fairness and access to all. Students should and will rightly reward candidates like Mark Lazarowicz at the ballot box” The NUS Vote for Students campaign also aims to encourage students
to vote in the next election. NUS are hoping to combat student apathy after a report by UNITE accomodation last week showed that 47 per cent - the equivalent of over one million students - will not be voting next time around. The Vote for Students website which aims to mobilise the student vote
LYNSAY MORGAN
MARK LAZAROWICZ, Labour MP for Edinburgh North and Leith, joined up with EUSA last week to add his voice to the campign against any increase in tuition fees in England after the next general election. Lazarowicz promised students ahead of the May elections that he will fight against any increase in fees as part of the Vote for Students campaign, a National Union of Students (NUS) campaign being rolled out across the UK. Lazarowicz commented that “Universities in both Scotland and elsewhere in the UK need more funding. But increasing tuition fees is not the answer. We need to look at imaginative new ways of paying for higher education such as that proposed by NUS.” The move comes after Higher Education Minister, David Lammy, last month urged Universities to look at other ways of bringing in revenue rather than increasing fees. Writing in Policy Review magazine, Lammy said “A different and, in my view, much better approach, one that this Government has been seeking to encourage in recent years, is for universities to try to diversify their sources of income. To find ways of relying less on the taxpayer as a hedge against any future tightening of the public pursestrings.” The pledge by Lazarowicz last week has been greeted with enthusiasm. EUSA president Thomas Graham said he was ‘delighted’ by the commitment,
LYNSEY MORGAN
Harrison Kelly
by offering students information about those standing for election in their local area, and highlighting whether those standing for election have signed up to the NUS pledge. To date, more than 200 MPs and parliamentary candidates have signed the pledge. news@studentnewspaper.org
CBI Scotland warns Holyrood over science university cuts THE CONFEDERATION of British Industry (CBI), has condemned the decision of the Scottish Government to cut the number of science and engineering places at Scottish universities. CBI Scotland believes that such cuts will have long-term negative consequences for the advancement of technology in the UK and for the economy. CBI Scotland spokesman David Lonsdale told The Student: “Given the state of the public finances tough choices undoubtedly need to be made. “However, our economy can ill afford a prolonged period with fewer graduates in the STEM (science, technology, engineering and maths) subjects, especially if it is compounded with fewer teachers and tutors in these disciplines coming through the system. It could hamper efforts to build a low carbon economy and hold back important industries such as energy, electronics, life sciences, aerospace and defence.” The Scottish Government has defended the move pointing to the fact that the Scottish university budget is set to grow over the next twelve
PARLIAMENT DECISION: It probably took a lot of STEM subjects to build this monstrosity months. They state the policy strikes a balance between maintaining university standards and the uncertainty at Holyrood about the budget that will be received from the Treasury next year. CBI Scotland recently submitted a response to the Scottish government’s proposed budget, which Lonsdale said “includes suggestions for how they might save money in order to reinvest
some of it in helping the economy.” Ministers provided finalised written guidance about the proposals after they were discussed at a Universities Scotland’s Executive Committee meeting last November. The announcement of cuts in science, technology, engineering and maths comes at a time when teaching training places are being cut by 40 percent.
FLICKR: COLIN J CAMPBELL
Julia Symmes Cobb
Under the new policy, universities could be fined for ignoring the cap placed by the government if they exceed it by more than ten percent. The Daily Telegraph has predicted that as many as 10,000 Scots may miss out on university places this coming school year because of cuts. The Scottish Government had previously allowed universities to admit as many students as they chose, not least because they helped keep young people and returning students off unemployment registers. Scottish Labour education spokesman Des McNulty called the cap on places a 'kick in the teeth.' He added: “Scotland will need highly-qualified graduates in these key disciplines to remain competitive in the future. It is perverse for the SNP government in Edinburgh to cap these disciplines, especially when there are so many high-quality applicants seeking admission,” Scottish Lib Dem education spokesman Hugh O’Donnell agreed, saying, “Scotland needs a skilled work force to help our economy recover and to support sustainable growth in the future.” news@studentnewspaper.org
AN EDINBURGHBASED band has the chance to play on the infamous Pyramid stage at this year’s Glastonbury Festival. Mayhew, a five-piece including two Edinburgh students, are one of ten acts nominated to compete in a final later this month, the winner of which will get a slot on the legendary stage. The folk-inspired group were selected by a panel of experts from over 1600 candidates.They have already enjoyed airplay on both local and national radio, and are well known on the Edinburgh scene, having supported various signed artists at their Edinburgh shows. The band are due to play a gig this Staurday at the Roxy Room. Readers can vote for Mayhew to go to Glasto at www.qthemusic.com. RB
Mosque kitchen misses out on award THE MOSQUE Kitchen has just failed to win this year’s best Indian award at the Scottish Restaurant Awards. The volunteer-run eatery, a popular spot for a bargain lunch, was shortlisted along with another Indian restaurant in Edinburgh, Mother India, which won the award, and two in Glasgow. With all profits going to Scottish and Pakistani charities, it was hoped the student favourite, which sells wholesome curries for between three and four pounds, would snatch the coveted prize, but Mohammad Akbar, who works at the kitchen, was just delighted to be nominated. ‘When I first received a call about this,’ he commented, ‘I thought they were joking. The whole kitchen was so happy when I told the staff.’ JM
Strikes at Leeds University called off THREE ONEDAY strikes at Leeds University have been cancelled after threats of immediate redundancies were withdrawn. University and union officals said that strikes were off after ‘very good progress’ had been made by both sides. Universtiy and College Union (UCU) is angry over proposals to restructure the university’s faculty of biological sciences that it claims would lead to job cuts. In a joint statement the UCU and the university said they were “close to an agreement” after talks through conciliation service Acas this week. The strikes had been planned for the 25th February and the 2nd and 4th of March. JC
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
4 News
news@studentnewspaper.org
EUSA Elections Coverage
Candidates outline their plans at election hustings Jordan Campbell EUSA election candidates for the four sabbatical positions had their opportunity last Friday night to cement the reasons as to why students should vote for them when voting opens on Wednesay 3rd March. The annual election hustings were held in the Teviot debating hall with the debates for each position chaired by the current sabbaticals. The main event of the evening was the final debate of the night involving the three candidates for that of President involving Liz Rawlings, LauraJayne Baker and Tom Crewther. Before the presidential exchanges began, Rawlings, Baker and the audience were treated to an unusual entry to the hustings by Crewther, who emerged down the hall to music by the Darkness, clutching a can of strongbow. All three candidates outlined their vision for EUSA if elected President in their opening statements. Rawlings reiterated her manifesto pledge of ‘education matters’ and promised to ‘priorotise education.’ Crewther emphasized the need for greater involvement for all students within EUSA and stressed the importance of allowing students ‘more say in small changes.’ Baker highlighted the importance of past experience as freshers co-ordinator and socities convenor pledging to ‘make student life easier.’ The candidates were asked a number of questions that had been sumbitted by e-mail including that of the issue of online referenda. The issue was
particuarly pertinent as an attempt to introduce online voting into the EUSA constitution had been rejected for a second time at the EUSA GM earlier in the week. All candidates agreed that they were firmly in favour of the move and its potential to facilitate greater change within the university. However there was particular attention paid to Baker’s comments on the issue after she had abstained on the vote at the general meeting. In justification of her action, which has caused apparent unrest within EUSA, Baker said, ‘abstention is not for or against. I did not want it passed under those circumstances without proper debate’ highlighting that attempts to vote the change through may have been rushed. The three candidates were furthermore asked for their opinions on students funding. Baker stated that she believed in a ‘fair and funded system’ that would ‘widen participation’ to make sure everyone got the most of out university. She added that it was not right that some students had to work in order to aid their study which results in them not getting the most of the university experience. Rawlings stated that she believed funding cuts was something that would have to be dealt with in the future but promised to work with students to secure an ‘evidence based policy’ in order to meet funding challenges. She also explained that she would work to fight student debt problems. Crewther added that he believed university should be for everyone and
that students should not be at a ‘disadvantage due their financial background’. He also stated that cutting student debt was an attainable goal. The candidates were also asked who they would vote for at the next general election. Crewther stated that he ‘would probably vote conservative.’ Rawlings said that she was as yet undecided but may vote Green. Baker also said that she may vote green and had voted green at the recent European elections. All three candidates agreed upon the importance of securing a 24-hour library. In the closing exchanges the candidates made one final pledge for votes. Rawlings indicated that by being the first in her family to go to university she truely understood the importance of education and has the drive to get the job done. Crewther expressed his hope that after the hustings voters would not see him as the ‘joke candidate’ but as someone who was ready to lead and ‘do well for Edinburgh University.’ Baker added that she was ready to ‘represent students.’ She also firmly pledged to oppose international student id cards and visa cuts, claiming thar recent reforms had turned international students into 'scapegoats.' The other three debates of the night also left students with clear indicators of what candidates would strive to do if elected. The husting for the position of VicePresident of Academic Affairs between that of Ross Stalker and Stevie Wise allowed both the chance to illustrate their clear passion for the role. Stalker stressed the importance of representation, reform and resources
in his opening statement. Whilst Wise, who is running a joint campaign with Rawlings, expressed how important a strong DOS system was to her. She also offered an anecdotal account of how important her DOS had been to her university career and vowed to improve the system for all students. Both candidates also expressed their respect for their opponents campaign. When asked if Stalker’s campaign was like that of ‘watching a puppy get run over’, Wise responded that ‘this was certainly not the case and victory was not in the bag for either of us.’ The position of Vice-President of Societies and Activites also offered up an intriguing head-to-head encounter between Neil Pooran and Amy Woodgate. Pooran explained that he believes in a ‘compassionately fairer deal for students’ and added that he would work hard to implement the ‘big changes’ that were required. He also added how he wanted universities all across the country to be impressed by just how good societies were at Edinburgh. Woodgate stated how ‘societies ‘were dear to her heart’ and that she would ‘talk to everyone’ in her attempt to build a greater ‘supportive community.’ When asked how they would cope under pressure, both candidates pointed towards their revelant experience. Pooran spoke of the understanding he has gained of the ‘needs of students’ across campus through his time as editor of The Student.
Whilst Woodgate discussed her committment as President to the Ballroom Dancing Society, explaining that she was leaving straight after the debate to be with her team ahead of a weekend competition. The final position of Vice-President of Services was, like that of President, a three way exchange between Sam Hansford, Ellie Price and Gavin Hume. Hansford said that he had ‘realistic policies’ that would make the unions work better such as a 24 hour shop at Pollock Halls. Price promised to get everyone involved to make use of the ‘tremendous resources’ on hand. If elected she explained that she would give particualar importance to the financial and environmental running of services. Hume, who is running with no campaign or manifesto, said that he might be a ‘useless shite’ but was firmly committed, as someone who was outside the ‘EUSA bubble’ to making unions better. He also explained that he did not have a manifesto because he did not want to ‘make promises’ that he could not keep. He added that if elected he may use the policies of the other candidates. The three candidates were also asked what their biggest weaknesses were. Hume admitted that it was probably his lack of experience, whilst Hansford claim to be ‘very unphotogenic.’ In a very honest admission, Price admitted to past struggles with depression. The hustings were the last formal chance for candidates to steak their claim for the respective positions. They will find out if their campaigns have been successful this Thursday evening when results are announced. news@studentnewspaper.org
Want more info on the three presidential candidates before voting opens? Learn more about Rawlings, Baker and Crewther online. Watch ten minute interview with candidates and find out what issues really matter to them. Find them at: www.youtube. com/TheStudentVideo
The Election Grapevine.. Current VPS stands down from election committee
Feminist Society express anger at hustings over a 'pimping' intiative
James Wallace , the prsent VicePresident of Services stood down from the EUSA election appeals committe. Wallace explained his reasons to The student, “I believe that sabbaticals should not sit on the election appeals committee as we all have a direct interest in the election. I will be voting for candidates which therefore means I have an interest in the outcome of the election and it would be extreamly unfair if I ever had to make a ruling on particular candidates.” Wallace stood down from the position in the wake of the EUSA General meeting. It is widely rumoured that Wallace was angry at the voting actions of Presidential candidate, Laura-Jante Baker, though it has not been confirmed. Wallace has given his full backing to Liz Rawlings in the election.
The edinburgh university Feminist Society has reacted angrily to the recent intiative by EUSA that allows students to 'pimp my school' in suggesting improvement that could be made to academic schools. The issue was put before the three presidential candidates as to whether the thought the use of the word 'pimp' was appropriate. All three candidates agreed that perhaps in hindsight the word may have been the wrong choice. Feminist Society explained their reasoning behind the disapproval of the use of the word to The Student. In a statement they said, By using this new ‘reclaimed’ definition of pimp is to ignore the real implications and almost claims that pimping sex workers is somehow compatible with improving or making something cool, and we strongly object to this view.
Sam Hansford's website is not for sharing... Speculation about potential copyright breach surfaced this week over allegations that Edinburgh RAG Week had copied a EUSA Election candidate’s website. The website for Edinburgh RAG Week is rumoured to be an exact copy of the website used by VPS candidate Sam Hansford for his campaign. Hansford’s website is clearly copyrighted to him and the two websites do both share aestheitc similarities. Speaking to The Student, a clearly annoyed Hansford said, “As this is potentially a legal issue, I can’t say anything at this time.” It is unclear whether any further action will be taken by Hansford against the Edinburgh RAG Week committee, despite the alarming similarities between the websites.
news@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
EUSA ELECTIONS COVERAGE
News 5
EUSA Elections: early polls Harrison Kelly AS THE EUSA Elections kick off tomorrow, The Student has conducted a survey of over 250 students to find out who they are going to vote for, if at all. Last year EUSA enjoyed the biggest turn out at the polling station ever enjoyed by a student union in the UK at 25% of the student body. It is hoped that this year's election turn out will be even higher. Laura-Jayne Baker is ahead in the polls with 40.5 per cent of the vote just ahead of former The Student Editor, Liz Rawlings who weighs in at 37.9 per cent. First year Tom Crewther, who is also running for the position, ranks last with 7.1 per cent of the vote although there are still 11.2 per cent of votes that are still undecided. Stevie Wise has emerged as the clear front runner for the VPAA race with 43.1 per cent of the vote to rival Ross Stalker's 13.4 per cent share, yet a large number of
voters are still undecided on who they will vote for at 33.8% Sam Hansford, who was the first candidate this year to hand in his nomination form, has been campaigning hard from day one which has paid off in his 35.7 per cent share of the VPS vote. However Ellie Price has made ground to take on Sam's formidable campaign team to take 29.4 per cent. Unkown amongst EUSA circles, the third candidate, Gavin Hume, has found it tough gaining just four votes for a 1.5 per cent share. The VPSA race, which returned Camilla Pierry uncontested last year, has proved an interesting result as more voters are undecided who to vote for (42 per cent) than are pledging support for either Neil Pooran (32.7 per cent) or Amy Woodgate (18.2 per cent). It remains to be seen whether these early indicators will prove true at the election count this Thursday night.
WHO WILL IT BE? Laura-Jayne Baker is slightly ahead of the other candidates in the Presidential race, but the VPSA race is still wide open.
PRESIDENT
The Student Elections Survey is a selection of student voting intentions from across campus between Monday 22nd and Sunday 28th February. The survey was conducted via online and face to face interviews across the week in different locations and times. A link to the survey was posted to all candidates in the interest of fairness and is intended to be indicative of voting intentions of a sample of students, and hopefully serve as a representative sample of the wider student body. Comments below are from students. when completing the survey.
VPS
VPSA
VPAA
"I have spoken to all three and ellie definitely seems like the best choice. She also has wicked posters!"
"Neil has better welfare policies. Amy’s manifesto is weak."
"She’s articulate and doing if for a good reason. She will be able to work well with the University staff and hopefully will get that 24 hour library!"
news@studentnewspaper.org
Who do you support?
William Norman, Convenor of the Young Greens
President: Liz Rawlings - Great record on campaigning and lots of experience. She has the desire and the drive to really support students. VPSA: Neil Pooran - Good background of representing student issues, and as former editor of Student should have a good idea of student opinion. VPS: Ellie Price - A real dedication to ‘green’ issues like fair trade, amnesty, healthy food, and the environment make Ellie my top choice for VPS.
Mubarak Alkhatnai , Head of Edinburgh University Saudi Society (EUSS)
I will vote for Laura-Jane Baker. simply she has clear goals and objectives. Her slogan of putting students first compensate my philosophy of a student organisation. EUSA is for students and should put students in the heart of its priorities.
Philippa Faulkner, Ethics and Environment Officer
EUSA needs a President who has a clear vision for the future and wants to push for things at a national as well as campus level. That is why I will be voting for Liz Rawlings. Ellie Price surprised a lot of people at Friday's debate. Sam should watch out!
"Sam's campaign was very organised and up first. And I love Gabi Jones, his campaign leader." "Sam has a beard!" "Ellie she came to the flat and chatted with me and the flatmates, seemed really eager, asking our opinions and stuff." "I thought Sam Hansford is going for VPSA...?" "Gavin Hume? Gavin Who Me?" "She’ll do a really good job, has experience and has good policies." "Sam has some really ingenious ideas such as the student cinema, making use of the facilities and services we have already but making more use of them!"
"Don’t know enough about what they stand for yet - not as high-profile campaigns as the other prospective sabbs." "I am voting for Amy because she is very passionate about what she wants to acheive and seems dedicated."
"Ross has some good policies and despite not being as vocal or social as Stevie, he really will do what he says."
"His policies are more grounded she seems a bit of an air head."
"She really understands student issues."
"They both seem a bit useless. Not much campaigning at all so far from either."
"She’s knowledgeable, got involved in student politics for the right reasons and is much stronger than her opponent. I think the fact Ross is running reflects poor judgement."
"He once bought me a drink. Only know the candidates passingly - will come down to judging manifestos on election day." "He’s a really nice guy, and I don’t know enough about Amy"
All the President's women Harrison Kelly
THE FINAL days of campaigning is now upon us and still many seats remain too close to call in the EUSA elections, namely the woman at the top. It is the second time running for Liz Rawlings who narrowly missed out to Thomas Graham last year, but she has climbed back into the EUSA ring and now seems more confident than ever.
"Wise’ has positive connotations. ‘Stalker’ doesn’t."
Speaking to The Student last week, Liz explained how this past year as a Postgraduate and as EUSA's Postgraduate Convener has given her much more experience and insight that she can hopefully bring to her role as President. However Liz is not in for a smooth ride to the top on the back of last year's campaign. Laura-Jayne Baker has been involved in student politics since arriving at The University of Edinburgh. She has held several posts at
"ginger vote!" "Seemed fairly competent when campaigning for Biology SRC (I think he may have been the only candidate, but he’s got heart, bless him)"
EUSA and the President's job would seem the logical conclusion with her wealth of experience. There have been rumours of spats between the two ladies, with a rumour of Liz taking Laura out to lunch to ask her not to run. However these rumours have been denied by both candidates. What ever happens it is fairly safe to say that 2010-11 will see a women heading up EUSA but which one remains to be decided. news@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
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News
Oxford proposes controversial loan scheme Leo Michelmore OXFORD UNIVERSITY has outlined proposals that would result in ‘middle-class’ students being denied loans to cover tuition fees. The leading university argues that the current student loan system is too expensive, and should be reformed so as to target poorer students more specifically. An Oxford University spokeswoman branded the loan system ‘unsustainable’, insisting that: “Oxford has a firm commitment that every student judged to have the right ability for a place should be able to come and complete their course regardless of financial reasons.” The proposals follow the annoucment of Business Secretary Lord Mandelson in January of 950 million cuts to higher education in England. Mandelson stated that “costs to the Treasury have significantly increased due to a generous system of student support. “The subsidy is expensive, while student support is not effectively targeted at those with the greatest financial need.” No details have been made available
of the income level at which middleclass students would be affected by these proposals. The current system in England, which will remain in place for students entering university in September 2010, allows a loan for all students to cover the £3,290 fees. There are fears that gearing the student loans system towards those from a poorer background would in turn present a financial stumbling block for many students who are categorised as middle class and yet are still struggling to pay tuition fees.
60%
of poorer students say the recession has affected their university choice The Oxford proposals could also see state grants to help with living costs cut off to more affluent students. Currently any student with a family income of less than £50,020 is entitled to a grant. Malcolm McVicar, vice-chancellor of the University of Central Lancashire, said that: “If you are talking about two
THE PRIVILEGE OF WEALTH: Oxford university has made proposals which would see financial support cut for wealthier students
FLCIKR: DAVID BASANTA
Radical scheme could cut support to more affluent students
teachers working with a combined income of say £60,000 a year, I don’t think those individuals are particularly flushed with money or advantaged.” The proposals do however appear to be gathering widespread support from student groups and universities alike. Wendy Piatt, director general of the Russell Group, said: “The system of student support in England remains one of the most generous and expensive in the world. [The current] subsidy is effectively targeted towards better-off graduates who receive an estimated subsidy of almost 30 per cent on their combined tuition fee and maintenance loan.” According to a NUS survey of 1,026 students, 60 per cent of those from poorer backgrounds say that the recession has affected their choice of university, while 41 per cent said they had applied to universities where they can get the highest amount of bursary or scholarship money. NUS President Wes Streeting said: “It is completely unacceptable that six out of ten poorer students are restricted in their choice of university by financial concerns. “All financial support should be based on how much a student needs it.” news@studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
news@studentnewspaper.org
News 7
'Students becoming more conservative' study suggests A SURVEY published last week by the National College of Legal Training, (NCLT), has indicated that today’s students are not as liberal as their immediate predecessors. In a poll of 1,142 students, more would prefer to see Tory Leader David Cameron in the role of Prime Minister (19 per cent) than either Gordon Brown (17 per cent) or Nick Clegg (14 per cent). Seven out of ten students want to retain the British Monarchy and 54 per cent have declared their support for the Queen’s right of Royal Assent, which asserts her privilege to reject any law passed by the Government with which she disagrees. In the legal sphere, students appear no more lenient. Nearly a quarter wants to see the reinstatement of capital punishment and the lowering of the age of criminal responsibility to less than 10 years old. More than half do not support free music downloads - a statistic that is perhaps surprising giving the number of students who use music online. In contrast to the archetypal carefree student of the 1960s and 70s, modern students’ attitudes towards sex and drugs also appear to have hardened. Nine out of ten favour the maintenance of the public smoking ban and more than eight out of ten would not wish to see the legalisation of Class C Drugs. Almost one in five would increase
the age of consent for heterosexual sex from 16. On the whole, personal safety seems to be of greater concern to modern students. One third of those polled want to increase the legal age for driving a car from 17 and 53 per cent espouse a ‘’zero tolerance’’ approach to consuming any amount of alcohol before getting behind the wheel.
“
We wanted to find out what the next generation of opinion-formers thought about society and culture today but we were incredibely surprised " Paul Whithouse, NCLT
Speaking to The Scotsman, Paul Whitehouse, representing the NCLT, said: “We wanted to find out what the next generation of opinion-formers thought about society and culture today but were incredibly surprised – they are a lot more conservative and less adventurous than we thought.” However, whilst the results which appear to invert the stereotype of the predominantly liberal student might seem surprising, a similar poll of a sample of 30 Edinburgh students appears to corroborate a number of the national survey’s findings.
A significant majority (76 per cent) concurred with the national inclination to support the British Monarchy. 50 percent also thought that the Queen should retain the right to Royal Assent. With regards to legal affairs, 20 per cent of the Edinburgh students asked, (a proportion only slightly smaller than the national consensus), favoured the reintroduction of capital punishment for certain offences. 30 per cent wished to see the legal driving age raised and a considerable majority (77 per cent) favoured a “zero tolerance” approach towards drinkdriving. Another significant majority approved of the public smoking ban (93 per cent) and only a small minority wished to see the legalisation of class ‘C’ drugs (14 per cent). The only clear difference arose in regards to electoral preferences. Among the Edinburgh respondents, Liberal Democrat leader Nick Clegg (31 per cent) was favoured for the role of Prime Minister, with Gordon Brown (24 per cent) in second place. Frontrunner in the national student survey, Tory Leader David Cameron, was placed third with 20 per cent of the vote, only three percent more than Green Party candidate, Caroline Lucas. news@studentnewspaper.org
RIGHTUPNORTH.COM
Melissa Birbeck
TORY VOTING STUDENTS? Is this the man that students really want to be running the country?
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8 Comment
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Teach First
Teaching should not bear the brunt of university spending cuts, argues Jack Smith One criticism that has been persistently levelled at the University of Edinburgh from league tables and the like in recent years has been the dissatisfaction with the quality and level of teaching. Many of us feel we are not getting our money’s worth from the establishment we are paying to educate us - too many of our academics in their ivory towers with their heads in the clouds. No doubt this leads to good quality research and places Edinburgh as a university which contributes heavily to wider society; but what about the contribution in terms of educating the next generation? Teaching should be the number one priority for any university, it is after all what we’re paying for – they’re called tuition fees for a reason.
The key dividing line in the upcoming general election will surely be the fishbone in Britain’s economic gullet: the deficit. No reasonable analysis could claim that the deficit need not be reduced; even Gordon Brown has raised his head from the sand on that issue. Now the two major parties have begun to quarrel with regards to the timeframe and severity of the inevitable budget cuts. Such an argument has brought seemingly thousands of unnamed economists out of the shadows and into the public debate through letters to newspapers. Twenty economists wrote to The Sunday Times to support the Conservative policy of immediate, ‘severe’ cuts in the public sector. A week later, 60 more economists wrote letters in favour of a delay in public spending cuts, a policy which the Government upholds. One has to wonder what it is that economists do during periods of economic prosperity! The deficit will reach £178bn this year, a figure which few of us can even contemplate, and various American investment firms have expressed caution at the prospect of investing in Britain. But as the less than expected 0.1% growth of the last quarter illustrates, Britain’s economy is still extremely fragile and taking away our economic crutches too soon could throw us back into recession. Both parties know this and are attempting to win the deficit argument on political rather than economic grounds. Labour were previously losing the debate as a result of Gordon Brown’s insistence on ignoring the elephantine deficit in the room whenever in debate with David Cameron and even his own Chancellor. This year however, Cameron appears to be encountering a similar rift with his own Secretary of the Treasury. George Osborne has repeatedly argued for ‘savage and swingeing’ cuts while Cameron just two weeks ago claimed that there would be no cuts which were ‘swingeing’. Both the Tory policy and the definition of the word
Last year saw the government cut back on the funding directed to languages in higher education. At Edinburgh, this manifested in major cuts to some European language departments with some subjects threatened with being axed if they didn’t cut-back drastically in spending. One of the major ways this can be achieved is to reduce the number of staff, not only does this create redundancies, but departments are left without valuable teaching assistants or tutors and departments cannot expand in order to meet the needs of its (paying) students. My own subject, Japanese, is to lose one of its most integral and invaluable language tutors, Yoko Takahashi Sensei. Yoko Sensei has worked for the department for ten years as a paid-
hourly language tutor. The university says it can no longer afford to keep her and are unable, financially, to create a new permanent post for her. Due to the rules of her visa, she will not have to leave the country. The fact is the department cannot afford to lose her. Yoko Sensei has been integral to my education of the language in the past two years and her contribution as a fantastic teacher and native speaker is necessary for the education of students of Japanese. How many of you can say the same thing about teachers from your own departments, too often kept at a distance boring you with unengaging lectures or useless tutorials? The university is not doing anything to replace Yoko Sensei and because of the sheer
quality of her teaching the department will be left with a massive teaching
“
Teaching should be the number one priority for any university, it is after all what we're paying for-they're called tuition fees for a reason" deficit to the detriment of us students. The university is shooting itself in the foot by getting rid of one of its best
Deficit Dicks
teachers at a time when it is struggling to deliver quality teaching. I know that balancing the books of a major university can’t be easy, but teaching should be the number one priority. Keeping Yoko sensei will benefit the education of students of Japanese significantly more than a refurbished library or Adam Ferguson building. Before Yoko Sensei is completely denied a post here at Edinburgh, I demand, as a paying customer, to see proof that there is nothing else the university can cut back on. A university is only as good as its teachers and Edinburgh needs to start prioritising teaching if it is to ascend the league tables; it can start by giving Yoko Sensei a much deserved offer of employment.
to many people in the US where the rate of unemployment stands at 10% and hundreds of thousands of people have lost their money due to bank collapses. It’s no surprise that they’re losing the argument. Yet there is an ideological dimension to the servative policy which is far more insidious than simple economic naivety. Behind the pragmatic smiles which Cameron and Osborne display lies an opportunism which is at the heart of Cameronian social policy. As he outlined in his conference speech, the Tories are strongly against big government and have no qualms with throwing people out of work if it means their ultimate vision is achieved.
“
For all Cameron's talk of cutting the deficit the only thing he has committed to cutting so far is tax"
Joshua Jones says that using the UK's budget deficit to scare voters into voting Conservative is not a way to win a general election. ‘swingeing’ are far from clear. For all Cameron’s talk of cutting the deficit the only thing he has committed to cutting so far is tax: whether it be marriage or inheritance. Cameron’s recent wobble could be viewed as an indication that even if developing a personality is too much for him, developing a conscience is not. Just as the policy of ‘savage’ cuts indicates, the Conservative plan for cutting the deficit is an act of savagery on the public sector. It
would involve thousands of job losses, a rise in the state pension age and, for everyone else, a pay freeze. Osborne’s attempts to justify such measures in his conference speech in October centred on the phrase ‘we’re all in this together’. Apparently we should destroy the livelihoods of those working in the public sector to pay for the greed of private sector workers who plunged our country into recession. You don’t need to go to Eton to see that it doesn’t
add up. The truth is that while the Government has made many economic mishaps in the lead up to the recession such as over reliance on the City for revenue in the first place, it has acted wisely in rresponding to the recession, it has kept unemployment relatively low and ensuring that our money is protected by supporting the banls. If Cameron and Osborne had been in office at the time then we’d be in a similar situation
Cameron is now using the financial crisis as an excuse to greatly reduce the public sector and achieve his own ideological goals. What is clear is that the ideologically-driven Conservative argument is not one which is winning over the hearts and minds of the public. Alistair Darling may have lost the confidence of the public but they are not turning to George Osborne for consolation. According to polls, Vince Cable is still the politician most members of the public want running the economy. The deficit, though recognised by the public as of considerable importance, still remains a fairly intangible and alien concept to many Britons. What matters to most is the security of their jobs and pensions and it is on this front that the Conservatives are crucially losing the argument. It’s no good having Richard Branson on your side if the majority of the public stand against you.
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Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Comment 9
Welcome to the North Continuing to treat North Korea as a pariah state is misguided, argues Kyle Bellamy
been employed in the past by South Korea, that of closer economic integration and cooperation. Hyundai has been employed by the North Korean government to develop Kaesong Industrial Region and it is estimated that 725,000 jobs could be created by the project. Seoul, as one of the world’s top ten financial centres, could certainly initiate and benefit from a mutually acceptable series of such agreements, and could play a major part in developing the north of the peninsula. This could also help to pave the way for a more amicable and peaceful unification. The North has, despite its characteristic belligerence, made some encouraging steps in recent months. A US citizen of Korean ancestry recently caught trespassing was promptly released, and the North has recently made explicit calls for the denuclearisation of both Koreas, as well as demanding a permanent peace treaty from the US (one has never been signed for the Korean War, which ended in 1953). Troops have remained poised FAMILY BUSINESS: The chap in the hat is other guy's father, he left his son a on the border ever since, in a constant whole country, do your parents love you that much? show of force, which has occasionally broken out into violence between both sides. The threat of war is very real, and While North Korea maintains one the end of the line. However, the control has been for fifty years. It is imperative of the world’s largest armies, it is ut- that the state holds over society makes an that this opening is followed, as it is one terly outmoded technically by South internal uprising unlikely. To accept these of the most promising signs to come Korea’s (and by the US forces that could facts is to realise that the international from the North's leaders in recent years. be rapidly committed to a conflict). sanctions and lack of aid serve only to Recent defector testimony tends to South Korea’s soldiers are also much further impoverish and starve the populaargue along such lines. While for a long more physically fit, due to food short- tion. It is little more than a form of collectime viewed as unrealiable by the media ages in the North, and better trained. tive punishment against the whole popuand analysts, the accounts of defectors The Kim regime utilises a military-first lation, for the actions of those in power. are being increasingly utilised by policy policy to ensure the loyalty of its army Humans are, after all, incapable of thinkmakers and other interested parties. and military leadership. Given their ing about politics if they are constantly on The current situation is summed up privileged position, socially and in terms the verge of starvation. To keep the counmost accurately by a North Korean defecof outside information and intelligence, try under continual and oppressive threat tor: ‘The North is neither a pack of wolves it is unlikely that the country’s military of war is folly and serves only to bolster nor a socialist paradise; it is a place where leaders would be foolish enough to risk the regime; if they have survived this far, human beings carry on their lives as best their positions in such a futile conflict. it can be concluded that they are here, at they can’. It should be recognised as such. The bottom line is that North Korea the very least, for the short-term future. is going nowhere, the regime has reached An alternative strategy has already
Poll-er Coaster
Dan Nicholson-Heap tries to make sense of the ups and downs in general election polls THE TRADITIONAL politician's line about opinion polls is that the only poll that matters is the one held on election day. However, a recent seismic shift in recent polling data has set alarm bells ringing in Tory HQ and is putting an unexpected spring in Gordon Brown's step. Apart from the occasional blip, the polls have, until recently, told much the same story: The Conservatives would will win a forthcoming general election by a landslide, with as much as a fifteen per cent or more gap between them and Labour. The gap shrunk in the new year to around 10% (the minimum the Opposition need to win an outright majority) and has recently narrowed to 6%-8%, deep into hung parliament territory. A poll released on Sunday by YouGov shows an even greater tightening;. with the Conservatives leading 37:35, with the Liberal Democrats on 17. But it is too early yet to know if this represents a new trend, or is just a deviation from the well-established 6%-8% gap. If that result was repeated on May 6th (the most likely date for an election), Labour would be the largest party (albeit without a majority) and Brown would stay as Prime Minister, a result deemed unthinkable just a few
The Big Clunking Fist Returns UP UNTIL recently, Gordon Brown has been remarkable only in that every single piece of shit thrown at him by the media and opposition has stuck, to the extent that he should by now look like that 6ft turd of children's television, Bungle, of Rainbow fame. However, by some miracle, he's more than halved the Tory lead in the polls, and come out of the latest smear campaign cleanly, if not smelling of roses.
FLICKR: YEOWATZUP
FROM ECONOMIC woes to seized arms shipments to Dear Leader Kim Jong-il’s birthday, North Korea (or to use its official title, the Democratic Peoples Republic of Korea) has hardly been out of the news recently. The foreign media’s fascination with this state is understandable, it is described as ‘incomparable’ so often that this has become something of a cliché. Analyst David Asher has stated has labelled the country a ‘Soprano state’, describing it as, ‘a government guided by a leadership whose actions increasingly resemble those of an organised crime family more than a normal nation’. While such an interpretation may be accurate in many ways, it does little to outline how North Korea should be treated by the international community, after all no organised crime family has ever held in its charge approximately 22 million people. A people, moreover, that it is incapable of feeding sufficiently; a recent UN World Food Program report claimed that 60% of children were suffering from malnutrition. While this is due to many internal factors, it is exacerbated by the myriad of sanctions imposed on the country. The main justification for such sanctions is to put a halt to North Korea’s nuclear program, which is deemed a threat to regional and world security. However, this needs to be put in perspective, the Kim regime is both far from imploding and incapable of fighting a war on the peninsula. On the first point, Park Hyeongjung, of South Korea’s Institute for National Unification, has argued that while, ‘the public have linked the new hardships to the central government, this does not mean that the government is about to collapse’. The regime has invested much time and effort indoctrinating the population and monitors them closely to minimise active discontent.
months ago. In addition to asking about voting intention, polling organizations also ask a number of questions about the respondent's opinions on policy matters and on what they think about the parties and their leaders. The answers to these give us a clue as to what might be behind such a noticable and sustained change in the polls. Economic confidence has risen: The voters now know that the economy is out of recession, a recognition that will be boosted by the uprating of the quarterly growth rate from a nominal 0.1% to a more solid 0.3%. More importantly, given that economic confidence is a very unstable figure, is the inexorable recovery of Labour as the party most trusted party on the economy. This went into freefall in 2008, but now BrownDarling have recovered and now lead Cameron-Osborne. There is a recognition that, whoever was to blame for the recession, the government probably did do the right thing. On the opposite page, Josh Jones takes quite a dim view of the ability of voters to understand the issues of the deficit, national debt and economic growth, but on the contrary, the polls would suggest that the voters understand all this rather better
than the media give them credit for: Voters have not so much been scared off by the admirably brave Tory pledge to cut the budget 'savagely', but have made a shrewd calculation that this could stall the recovery that the country has spent so much money trying to attain. The Tories know this and are backpedalling spectacularly, with the budget cut pledge now down to a paltry £1bn. There is also a long-noticed tendency for the governing party to rise in the opinion of the voters in the last months before an election (although not usually as much as this) because they are to a much greater extent thinking about how they will actually vote, not simply giving a gut reaction. A changed political context is part of the story as well: In 1997, the Conservatives were hated and Labour, if not loved, welcomed by a significant chunk of the electorate. However, the next general election comes in a very different political age; politics and political parties which makes it impossible for Cameron to generate a wave of genuine enthusiasm that would push him into government in the same way that Blair was able to. Caution, though, is due. These polls cover all 646 constituencies, but general elections are not won in Glasgow East or
Surrey South West but the hundredor-so marginal seats where only a few thousands votes separated the parties last time. Crucially, Cameron has managed to hang onto a lead (around 10%) in these constituencies, despite losing it nationally. The Tory campaign is exceptionally well organized in these areas, and the party is pouring every last penny of its £18m war-chest, outspending Labour by millions. All this means that the general election campaign will be crucial. The last three elections have been forgone conclusions-the last time an election was won and lost during the course of the election campaign was when most of us were still in nappies, in 1992. All the more so given that there will be a new feature-televised debates between the party leader, which have proved to be game-changers in US Presidential elections. A recent survey showed that a large proportion of students are not planning to vote, but they are wasting an opportunity they might not get for another two decades. For the first time in years there is not only a genuine fight between the two parties, but a decent ideological gulf between them. Go register now at www.aboutmyvote.co.uk
THREAT: Mention the deficit again and I'll give you a testicular fucking deficit Brown is alleged to have acted violently towards his staff, with the Chairwoman of the National Bullying Helpline claiming that several No. 10 staff had called her organization complaining about bullying. However, it all went tits-up for the enemies of The Great Leader when Christine Pratt, who looks like someone you'd end up in bed with at a shit middle-aged swingers' party in Coventry, was forced to admit that none of the complaints were regarding Brown, amidst a wave of resignations from the NBH board. If the polls are anything to go by, this hasn't done Brown any harm at all: People don't want a shrinking violet as PM; they want someone passionate who will come out swinging for the country when times are bad. I quite like to think Thatcher probably had a switch-blade hidden away in her handbag, ready to shank anyone who disagreed with her or that Major glassed a few people in order to get the Maastricht treaty through. Or indeed that Churchill plucked out his enemies' eyes with his 'v for victory' sign and that, East-End style, Wilson spat vodka in people's faces and lit them up like a Christmas tree with his trademark pipe. The best thing to come out of this is an absolutely hillarious Hong Kong news channel video that shows a series of mock-ups of what is alleged to have happened; Brown goes round punching people for no apparent reason, and he spectacularly throws a slow-typing secretary across the room. The whole thing reminds me of that Family Guy episode where the Griffins move to Texas and encounter Chuck Norris, who goes round punching small children with a third fist concealed in his chin. Go on Gordo: Next time that smug Etonian bastard shits on your economic record, lean accross the disptach box and nut him back onto the opposition benches where he belongs. Dan Nicholson-Heap
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
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10 We've Got Mail I’ve never written in to the paper before but, since there’s a lot of EUSA stuff going on at the moment, I just thought that I’d take a chance to say something. This Tuesday was the first time I’d ever been to an AGM (I’m in my third year now) and it has changed my perspective of politics at the university. The beginning and end of the proceedings were a bit awkward and boring, which is exactly what I always thought these gatherings would be like. It was sort of satisfying to see that I was right. But when things really got going with the ‘facebook’ motion and people not being let out of the halls – I finally got it. It was exciting and interesting, even if some of the speakers were ridiculous (especially that one Tory guy with the red trousers). I always thought school and (by proxy) university politics were for people who had political ambitions or those people who always have to have a say in everything that ever happens. But now I see that it's actually important to get more involved. There are so many aspects of life where we students could have more of a say but we don't either because people are too apathetic to go (which was my problem - the weather is always a good excuse) or because they can't get there (which may be a problem for mature students or studentparents). I know the motion about the Online Referendum was about all of this, but it seems like it is stuck in a bit of a Catch22 as EUSA can get enough people in to vote for a voting system that will make everyone's life easier. My point is, everyone should make the effort, just this once, so we can make it easier for everyone to get involved, which they should do. Lucy Lee
IT'S BEEN a busy week in the university for us; jumping between Thomas Graham (who we have affectionately nick-named Tommy G) meetings, the AGM, EUSA election hustings and interviews with the candidates. We’re all just a little bit knackered to tell you the truth. Firstly: the videos. Last Tuesday, we invited the EUSA presidential candidates (Tom Crewther, Laura-Jayne Baker and Liz Rawlings, in case you haven’t noticed all the posters) round to Teviot for a spot of interviewing before the comforting backdrop of a pretend fireplace. The interviews can be seen on our YouTube channel (www.youtube. com/TheStudentVideo) and you can watch our news editor, Harrison Kelly, grill each candidate in turn. And no, we didn’t post the outtakes. However, we are now hoping for our very own television show, something along the lines of ‘Harrison Kelly’s Fireside Chit-Chat’. Or Shit-Chat. Either way, it would be fabulous. The AGM took place later on that evening in ye olde fashioned McEwan Hall. Everyone who has ever sat an exam in there will know that it is distractingly large and that night, unfortunately, it only served to make the amount of people who turned up seem even more diminished. Organizers were running around, trying to lure more people in with promises of free drinks and a very amusing live Twitter feed playing on a large screen behind the speakers. While it certainly was a drawing point and got a lot more people involved, much of the audience was too distracted by the wittier Tweets to pay much attention to what the speakers were actually saying.
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This must have been fairly discomfiting to the people who had the guts to stand up and talk. Even Thomas Graham kept twisting his head round to see what everyone was laughing at. And if that wasn’t enough, we were sitting close enough to the back to witness the whole Ballroom Dancing debacle first-hand. Headed by VPSA candidate, Amy Woodgate, the dancers had to leave early to get back to their last practice before the national competition (which evidently paid off as Amy and her partner, Scott Langley, came first – congratulations to them!). Unfortunately, the poor dancers felt a wee bit harassed at the gentle coercion that took place in order to get them to stay. Best Ballroom Dancing related Tweet: Strictly come voting. Thus far, the best thing that came out of the AGM was an education in Twitter. And evidently, a whole host of terrible jokes. On Sunday night, a few of us here at The Student offices will be giving birth to our own Twitter pages. We anticipate that our first Tweet will be something along the lines of ‘we are twamily, I got all my tweeters and me’. See what we mean about the jokes. We should be figuratively rounded up and shot. Back to the AGM, the exciting stage mostly revolved around the ‘ban Facebook in the library’ debate and the ‘whatever’ motion which failed to pass for the third year in a row, despite having a clear majority. This was considered by most to be a frustrating disappointment. This was especially obvious in James Wallace, the pain and anguish etched all over his face. Fast-forward to Friday, we saw the candidates battling it out at the Hus-
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HAMLET: The Re-write (well, it worked for 'Friends') tings which were held in the Teviot Debating Hall. Tense and exciting as they were, we’re going to keep our predictions to ourselves (news coverage of all these events are on pages 4 and 5). We’ve also had visits from both Ian Rankin, who gave a talk last Monday night in Teviot (see the Culture section, page 14, for details) and Prince Philip who unexpectedly turned up to have a look at our library. Unfortunately, we’ve had no confirmation on whether or not he was up to standard
on the ‘make-as-many-un-PC-comments-as-possible’ front, but we found enough of them on Wikiquote to amuse us for five minutes. Finally, along with all the other things that are going on in the student world (not to mention essay season), it is easy to miss things that going on elsewhere. So we would like to take the opportunity to express our condolences for the people who passed away in the earthquake in Chile this past week and for all those who have lost their homes.
studentnewspaper.org Tuesday March 2 2010
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IN THE STUDENT THIS WEEK
MACBETH REVIEW
FEATURE: THE BAFTAS
CULTURE P15
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ALIENS VS PREDATOR TECH P20
Get yer skates on
ROLLER DERBY is fast, furious, mostly female, and has hoards of women up and down the UK frothing at the mouth in its vice-like grip. Roller what?! OK, I’ll break it down. It's not roller-hockey. It's not roller-disco. And it's really, really not the 1970s feature film Rollerball. It's sport Jim, but not as we know it. Roller derby is a full contact team sport for women. Played on roller skates. There are 14 women on each team, five skaters from each side on the oval flat track at a time. Skaters gather on the start line to form a 'pack'. The whistle blows and both teams are off, jostling each other and fighting for the advantage. One skater from each team is the point scorer, the 'jammer,' recognisable by her lightning speed, cat-like agility and the two stars on her helmet cover. Jammers score points for their team for every opposing skater, or 'blocker', that they pass without committing a penalty or skating off the track. While the jammer tries to fight her way through the pack, the opposition’s blockers try to stop her with legal hits such as shoulder and hip checks or 'booty blocks' and full body checks. Blockers must use everything they've got to get their jammer through the pack, while stopping their opponent’s jammer doing the same: simultaneous offense and defence. The jammers have up to two minutes to bag as many points as they can for their team, before a fresh line-up of skaters begins. Repeat for an hour divided into two 30-minute halves and you have your basic roller derby bout. Despite all this jostling and booty blocking, skater safety is the numberone priority. Over 40 pages of official rules, standardised by the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association, are enforced by a team of up to eight referees at each bout. All skaters are required to use protective knee and elbow pads, wrist, mouth and shin guards, as well as helmets and additional coccyx padding. Roller girls go through months of careful training in safe skating, hitting and falling before hitting the track. The sport’s roots are often traced to depression-era North American exhibition races and credited to entrepreneur Leo Seltzer who dubbed his phenomena the 'Transcontinental Roller Derby.' These roller marathons saw 25 two-person teams skating a banked oval track and racing to be the first pair to clock up 3000 miles, the width of North America. Roller derby has a long and sometimes checkered history state-side with various incarnations of the sport criticised for choreographed fighting and pre-determined ‘wins’, beginning from the mid-20th century. However, it has come a long way since then, leaving its
DAN PHILLIPS
Madeline Breeze, a.k.a. Daisy Disease, of Edinburgh’s Auld Reekie Roller Girls is rocking hard and rolling fast.
GIRLY GAMES: They're not pirates, they're Roller Girls, and they're pretty swift on wheels seedier side behind (for the most part), and was brought to the UK in 2006 by the London Roller Girls in the wake of the modern roller derby resurgence in Texas. Texas roller girls are widely acknowledged as the godmothers of modern roller derby and have encouraged the sport through its (re)birth and infancy, setting the standard for leagues worldwide. In the US, the Women’s Flat Track Derby Association compiles the official rules, organises regional and national championships and offers resources to leagues worldwide. On our side of the pond, it was a only a matter of months before leagues sprung up in Birmingham and Glasgow, swiftly followed by a derby explosion which saw women in Leeds, Manchester and, of course, Edinburgh getting their skates on. There are now over 40 leagues in Europe, with five in Scotland. Edinburgh’s very own league, the Auld Reekie Roller Girls (ARRG), were formed in April 2008, forged in a fire of enthusiasm sparked by a Glasgow Roller Girls recruitment poster. ARRG have since gone from strength to strength hosting numerous home bouts and finishing fourth place in 2009’s London-hosted European Tournament Roll Britannia. Why is it proving so popular? Roller derby is often described as 'a sport for people who don’t like sport'. Not only is it an amazing work-out, it's crazy fun too. One of ARRG’s newest recruits, Lindsay Robertson, a 30year-old dialogue assistant for a games
development company, explains: “You get a hard cardio workout and it's much more exciting than going to the gym. If you aren’t playing roller derby you need to know it's an awesome, high speed, adrenaline-filled spectator sport.” Hayley Carmen, a paediatric nurse who skates under the moniker 'Hurricane Hayles' adds: “The people who skate are what makes roller derby so special. If you love the sport you can go anywhere in the world, find a team and make new friends.” The friendship, love and camara-
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Roller derby is like Quidditch - on crystal meth and set to a raucous soundtrack." derie that comes from being a part of an alternative team sport features prominently in explanations of its irresistable appeal. Often team sports give an impression of exclusivity, competitiveness and elitism to the noninitiated and less aerobically inclined. It seems that roller derby has, so far, managed to avoid this. Darcy Leigh, a Politics PhD student at the University of Edinburgh and another new recruit to ARRG agrees: “ARRG have managed to strike this impossible balance
between being endlessly welcoming, inclusive and encouraging whilst still kicking our asses into shape and teaching us some terrifying new skills at the same time. ARRG proves you don’t need lycra, elitism or petty individualism to be athletes.” Different leagues around the UK have different membership criteria and recruitment practice. London Roller Girls have a waiting list of over 100 keen beans itching to get rolling. One thing that ARRG emphasises above all else is that anyone can join and learn to skate. There is no image, background or ‘type’ of woman that makes the ideal or typical roller girl. Recent recruit Kat Bodey, 25, illustrates this point: “My lovely friends thought this was a sport which would be too ‘hardcore’ for me. But this is actually another thing I love about derby: you can just be yourself, or even better, reinvent yourself.” ARRG carry on the derby tradition of being entirely not-for-profit and organise themselves on a completely grassroots model. Juicy Lucy - a.k.a. Lucy Tyler - is one of the league’s star jammers who finds this aspect of the sport particularly appealing: “Roller derby is run by the skaters for the skaters, which means that we do everything ourselves, from designing flyers and posters to advertising bouts, through getting first aid training and learning book-keeping.” Experienced skater Violet Vitriol (Caroline Gibb) highlights how much ARRG give back to their local community: “At our last
bout we donated over £170 of bakesale profit to JK Rowling’s charity the Children’s High Level Group and in the past we have donated to AdvoCard and Zero Tolerance.” Starting their 2010 season with a bang, ARRG’s all-star travel team, The Twisted Thistles, currently rank third in Europe, behind Glasgow’s travel team, The Irn Bruisers. The next home bout, Hadrian’s Brawl, is a double-header at Meadowbank Sports Centre on April 11th. ARRG’s A Team take on The Lincolnshire Bombers and ARRG’s B Team, The Cannon Belles, cut their teeth on a mixed team from Middlesbrough Milk Rollers and Newcastle Roller Girls. ARRG constantly welcome new members, regardless of ethnicity, sexuality or class at their monthly Fresh Meat Sundays. All women over the age of 18 are invited to come along for free to borrow skates and equipment. Even guys can join as referees or get involved as 'jeer-leaders', penalty trackers and score-keepers, official roles all essential to the smooth operation of a league. In a nutshell, roller derby is like Quidditch but on crystal meth and set to a raucous soundtrack, surrounded by 40 tear-jerkingly inspiring women. Skaters need a combination of stamina and strength, focus and determination, skill and agility, team spirit and independence. Nonetheless, anyone can be a roller girl; all you need to get started is to be female and over 18 with the willingness to have a go and not mind taking a few falls, bumps and bruises.
Useful contacts: ARRG’s next recruitment session, or the first day of the rest of your life, is on Sunday 7th March. Email: everyone@newskaters.arrg.co.uk to register. Websites: www.arrg.co.uk www.arrg.co.uk/forum Facebook: Auld Reekie Roller Girls Myspace: www.myspace.com/auldreekie_rollergirls Twitter: http://twitter.com/AuldReekieRG
studentnewspaper.org
Tuesday March 2 2010 features@studentnewspaper.org
12 Features
Settling for second best Daisy Leigh explores the myths of finding 'The One' at university.
year’s Valentine’s Day left you Iablefsolothismen, and scorning the void of dateLori Gottlieb may be able
to explain why. Should you have been cursing the slim pickings of a city like Edinburgh, with a population of only tens of thousands of students – largely young and unmarried – well, maybe you’re just too picky. Hated by many, Gottlieb has gained notoriety in feminist circles for her outspoken views regarding women and marriage.
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Even if the idea of matrimony, mortgages and 2.4 children seems many eons and many more essays away, university has long since been regarded as a natural, conceivable time to meet your future spouse." The elusive idea of 'The One', she proposes, is a product of egotism being confused with feminism. “Our female friends are always telling us how fabulous we are, and soon we think we’re so fabulous that we always find a reason that this guy or that guy isn’t good enough for us,” Gottlieb explains on her website. She has a point. It’s not exactly rare to hear girls gossip over the superficial details of a less-than-perfect romantic encounter, but the thought that the opposite sex is doing the same thing would send seismic waves of horror through the psyche of the sisterhood. Do women expect to date only ridiculously handsome, charming and intelligent men in the name of feminism? Orla Murray, president of the University of Edinburgh’s Feminist Society, explains the feminist message as “not that you can have it all, but that you can choose your lifestyle and your gender shouldn’t choose it for you." The principles of feminism, then, lie in pragmatic and realistic e q u a l i t y, rather than a shrieking melange of Spice Girl and Sex and the City 'girl power'. A n d while
gender may prove challenging to choose freely, we are all certainly capable of choosing who we date. Providing the other party’s willing, of course. Yet that still leaves the question of whether we should, or think we should, hold out for someone we genuinely think we could marry. Even if the idea of matrimony, mortgages and 2.4 children seems many eons and many more essays away, university has long since been regarded as a natural, conceivable time to meet your future spouse. Think about it another way: while most people would say with assurance that their closest university friends were friends for life, how many would take the same view regarding their current beau? Of course, it’s ever so slightly different in that you can’t cheat on friends or stop fancying them, and your relationship doesn’t become frustratingly difficult to maintain if one of you moves away. But the analogy remains. Your time as a student, and the people y o u meet, inevi-
tably alter the course of your life. A second-year Italian student echoes this sentiment. “I think I probably thought before coming to Edinburgh that I could potentially meet ‘The One’. But I soon realised that university is about meeting a lot of different people, and I think a tunnel-vision search for ‘Mr Right’ can really hinder that. I also don’t believe in a single ‘One’. Different people are right for you at different times of your life.” This is a profoundly important point. How many students currently embarking on a four-year degree know for absolute certain what they want to do when they graduate? The stereotype of student radicalism, later abandoned for more sombre 9-to-5 endeavours, may not ring so true anymore; for alas, it's not 1969. Life at university is now about 'finding yourself ', a tired but potentially quite true cliché. The point being, if you’re 20 now, think about what you were like at 16 and - after removing your hands from your eyes in a reflex of cringing nostalgia think about how you’ll feel about your 20-year-old self in four years' time. Will you look for exactly the same qualities in a partner? Will record pint-downing forever grace your must-have list of ‘perfect soulmate’ attributes? Some people, however, weren’t hideously embarrassing aged 16 (or 20), and likewise, some people genuinely do find the longterm love of their lives whilst at university. Both the parents and grandparents of third-year English student Sarah Norman met while studying at Edinburgh. “My grandmother never thought she would date someone at university, but said it was really nice because he used to wait for her outside of lectures. They were together for over 50 years. My mum and dad also dated at university; they met when she was in first year and he was living in Edinburgh. He went to a party at Pollock Halls, which is where they met. They’ve been married 27 years now.” Sarah, however, thinks her student love life will not follow that of her ancestors. “When I asked my mum if she thought it was just as easy nowadays to find a life partner at the University of Edinburgh, she deferred to my judgement that it is easier to get a first than find a boy friend h e r e ! ” While the Appleton To w e r c o n course m a y n o t rival Paris i n t e r m s of sheer romantic
splendour, and the top floor of DHT is certainly no Tour d’Eiffel, one can’t help but think there is something lifeaffirmingly romantic about university sweethearts. After all, we can all appreciate the comfort in companionship of having someone to while away those post-club, pre-lecture hours with. Gottlieb insists her book is "hopeful", especially to younger readers who, presumably, still have time to take her advice on board. And her message is largely a positive one: to not disregard a potentially wonderful person on the basis of a first impression, or because they don’t fit a too narrowly-defined conception of your ideal partner. So that drunken, seemingly ill-advised Fresher’s Week kiss over the sticky tables at Potterrow might have been the start of something special. Or, you might have been right in thinking you would much rather end up celibate for eternity than have a boyfriend whose mum still buys his shoes. Either way, the idea of 'The One'- a solitary person in this world of millions who has the unique capability to make you happy – is very possibly a defunct concept. There may be The One you stare across the fifth floor of the library at, The One who takes you for dinner, The One you get drunk and fall into bed with, and The One who brings you hot Ribena when you’re ill. You could have been exceedingly fortunate in finding a single One who encompasses all these things. But if you’re not sure which One kind of person you’d like to be with, or,
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That drunken, seemingly ill-advised Freshers' Week kiss might have been the start of something special. Or, you might have been right in thinking you would much rather end up celibate for eternity." more pertinently, which kind of person you’d like to be – now or ten years from now – then happily, you have the luxury of time to find out. Retrospectively, Lori Gottlieb remembers the men she rejected in favour of someone ‘cooler,’ someone more handsome, someone more ambitious. She is wearing rosetinted spectacles of regret now that she is 40 and unmarried; would she actually have been happy had she stuck it out with the partners she passed up? Despite what she says, she can never really know. All things considered, perhaps we can define the concept of 'The One': someone who makes you happy to be with right now. Whether that person will change in a week or 30 years, no self-respecting soothsayer would venture to postulate, but for the time being, no one, male or female, should really feel the need to spend those exciting, life-changing university years with someone they don’t really like all that much for fear of being 'left on the shelf '.
CHARITIES SPOT STUDENTS FOR JUSTICE IN PALESTINE tudents for Justice in Palestine S (SJP) brings together University of Edinburgh students actively
campaigning for justice in Palestine and for effective solidarity with the Palestinian people. Since SJP was relaunched in September 2009, we have been working hard to raise awareness on campus through discussion groups, speakers, film screenings and direct action. From December 2008 to January 2009, the Israeli army and airforce killed over 3,000 people, including over 400 children, and injured over 4,000 in a series of aggressive attacks on Gaza. White phosphorus was used illegally, and schools, hospitals and civilian homes were targeted, including three schools and a hospital belonging to the UN. Just over a year ago, University of Edinburgh students decided to take direct action to pressure University administration into ending its financial and commercial links with the state of Israel and to publicly comdemn what the UN President of the General Assembly, Miguel d'Escoto Brockmann, described as "genocide". Following a student occupation of George Square Lecture Theatre, the University administration agreed to provide scholarships for Gaza students to study here, to stop allowing Eden Springs on campus a company that operates on illegally occupied territory - and to continue dialogue regarding divesting from companies that were enabling this conflict and the illegal occupation of Palestinian territory. The momentum from this action and the addition of new and enthusiastic students gave birth to SJP. We have undertaken a wide range of projects this year; perhaps the most controversial was our support for the BDS (Boycott, Divestment and Sanctions) movement called for by the Palestinian people in 2005 as a non-violent means of resisting oppression and putting international pressure on Israel to uphold international law. Our attention has been focussed on raising awareness across campus. Last week we organised Right to Education Week, a week of events aimed at highlighting some of the issues that young Palestinians face in trying to access education under Israeli occupation, such as restrictions on movement. An evening of music and dance performances raised £200 for the charity Friends of Birzeit University. In May we will be organising a trip to visit Palestine for any student who is interested. We will be visiting three different universities, meeting students and learning about the Palestinian culture and way of life. Anybody at all who is interested in this should get in touch at edinburghsjp@gmail.com We will continue to fight for Palestinians' fundamental human rights to be upheld. We have more events coming up. Check out our website at http://sjp.eusa.ed.ac.uk to find out more. Aoife Keenan
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Tuesday March 2 2010 features@studentnewspaper.org
Features 13
To take one lover... or ten? Katya Kan questions students on the 'yes's and 'no's of sex and relationships...
P
loughing through my French dissertation while reflecting the moral standing of the licentious lesbian heroine, Albertine, I came to wonder what students really thought of sex and relationships these days. Between bisexuality, asexuality, open relationships and all the rest of it, never before have attitudes towards sexuality been so open and accepting (at least in certain parts of the world) - people have more option and less discrimination to deal with. I set off on a mission around campus to discover Edinburgh students’ views on sexuality. Half of the interviewees were in favour of open relationships, a quarter against and 25 % on the ambivalent side. Laura* commented: "I think that open relationships are fine as long as there is open communication" adding: "I think that girls are more open to that than boys".
standards, which exist today regarding the bias against female licentiousness. Channeling a more restrictive perspective, Hazel asserted: "If I was the partner and if I wasn’t in an open relationship then I don’t think I’d like that a lot. I wouldn’t agree to it in the first place." By the same token, Linda devalued the status of open relationships: "I think they’re a waste of time. What’s the point of being in a relationship at all?" Furthermore, the contestants’ opinions were divided 50:50 when the discussion advanced to the validity of Sigmund Freud’s theory that all individuals have latent bisexual desires. Interestingly, Rebecca pointed out the inherent culture of shame is still at-
I think that open relationships are fine as long as there is open communication... I think that girls are more open to that than boys."
tached to bisexuality nowadays. In contrast, others believed in the existence of a predetermined sexual orientation. "I think you’re either one or the other," Linda contested. Although open to experimenting, students, in most cases, did not go as far as to experiment with partners of different genders. Olivia was hesitant about entering lesbian relationships from a heterosexual perspective: "In theory, it’s great, but I don’t know if it would be good." Robert introduced the Darwinist dimension to the issue of bisexuality: "For the survival of the species, it should be inherently heterosexually in order to survive." Where one quarter of the interview-
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Rebecca alluded to the popularity of polygamy in the rural Zulu communities in South Africa: "You can be in love with someone and not necessarily be faithful." Moreover, three participants proclaimed collectively the double
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You can be in love with someone and not necessarily be faithful."
ees believed that sufficient changes had been enacted in order to advocate bisexual, lesbian and gay equal rights in the UK; 75 % esteemed that more action should be undertaken in the future to combat homophobia: for example in relation to abortion and via education. Linda said optimistically: "The situation is not perfect, but we
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For the survival of the species, it should be inherently heterosexual to survive." are working in the right direction." Lara and Laura observed that where Britain is more liberal than North America, it is still less so in relation to libertarian hubbubs such as Barcelona. Olivia further commented that LGT societies within universities could actually trigger the very segregation, which they are attempting to eliminate at the outset. Another student rebuked the assumption of a condescending attitude towards LGT representatives, who should not be treated as an ‘endangered species’. On the issue of perfect relationships, a third of students did not believe in their existence, whereas the same number of participants emphasised the importance of trust, understanding and nurture. The remaining interviewees were either unsure about the possibility of defining this phenomenon or did not believe in the very existence of that ideal relationships. Laura stressed the need
to exert oneself in order to perfect one’s relationships: "I think perfect implies that you don’t have to work at something." Another student suggested that relationships preceded by friendship between the partners worked better. Contemplating the future of human sexuality in a hundred years from now, a third of interviewees anticipated greater freedom of expression, whereas the same proportion pre-empted that society would revert back to tradition after the excessive freedom present in the West today while an equal number remained undecided, predicting that society could develop in either of these directions. Linda aspired towards greater stability in the future: "Less divorce and less marriages. Hopefully, still monogamous. People giving it a second chance, making it work." Yet more extreme, Robert observed: "Society would go back to bigamy. From an evolutionary perspective, it’s more successful than polygamy."
Rebecca provided amore ambivalent key to the future: "The whole world could go that way. Either more secularized and scientific or more religious and repressed." Others noted that what is extremely liberal now will be perceived as old-school in the future and that people will experiment greater with sexuality in the future. Tapping away this article on my laptop, I cannot but conclude the following... Our current society is characterized by a limbo state of foggy transition. Despite the vast freedom of choice bestowed to us, we as a society have not yet mustered up the courage to discover the terra incognita of our own sexualities and to break away from the fetters of the establishment or what remains of it. What we need now is a final push to explore new sexual possibilities. Let us end with the image of relationships being a mille-feuille cake: the more diverse and well-chosen the ingredients, the more exquisite the taste. * Interviewees are only identified by their first names
Birth control seemed a case of too little too late ... or was it?
A twitter too far?
Jen Bowden tells us why she won't be baking Facebook cyber-cakes for no one.
LIVING IN an age of technology is supposed to make life a whole lot easier. The internet has become a more social place in the last few years, you can chat to your friends across the world and moreover, you can have your own private enclave for silly musing and pictures. But, the problem is, now that we’re online we can’t seem to pluck up the courage to log off once in a while. Most people's lives revolve around their computers. According to TNS’ Digital World, Digital Life, over a third of British adults spend their social time online. While this could be a simple email to friends or a quick chat on Skype, there are also social networking sites Facebook and Twitter. I confess to Facebook being a significant part of my life, I check it every day in order to keep in contact with friends and let others know what I’m up to, but I try to keep my time to a minimum. I don’t throw ninjas at anyone, bake cakes for anyone and I certainly don’t have a farm. Farmville is the latest craze to sweep the world of Facebook and seems like another means to procrastinate. For those who are unfamiliar with this phenomenon it involves gaining and maintaining a farm online. What’s surprising is the amount of time it takes to cultivate your very own green space, or the fact that so many people use it. One English
Literature student said ‘I spend about 30 minutes a day on Farmville. It’s not affecting my studies and because I’m a full-time mum I don’t have a really good social life. I just find it relaxing as its not work or uni stuff.’ As for Twitter, it’s like changing your Facebook status, constantly. Stephen Fry left Twitter after a follower claimed his Tweets were too boring. He then came back, sheepishly it appears. Twitter appears to have revolutionised celebrity and news feeds, we can follow them everywhere and get the latest on what’s going on in the world. In the case of Fry his choice to parade his life online was his own personal choice; to be called ‘boring’ shows that celebrities are expected to provide endless entertainment. For many people the internet acts as a means of escapism, but sometimes the dependence on having a life online can go too far. In November 2008, David and Amy Pollard became the first cyber-divorcees. This doesn’t mean they got their divorce through the internet (which you can do), instead they got their divorce because of the internet. The couple had married after meeting in a chatroom and admitted to spending a lot of time online on the online game ‘Second Life’ where the players create themselves as characters and live in a sort of parallel universe. A bit
like game 'The Sims' but online. Pollard and Pollard filed for divorce after Amy caught David cheating with another character online and claims he asked her to become his ‘second wife’. Needless to say they divorced on Second Life before sealing the deal with the lawyer. It’s not just social networks that are gaining popularity. Online shopping, as well as downloading music and streaming movies and T.V have become more popular over the last decade. According to independent research 83% of people shopped online in 2006. Gone are the days when people would struggle down the road in the rain with several bursting shopping bags, now most supermarkets deliver. High street clothing is now available online, does this mean the end of days out shopping too? You can make a cup of coffee in your kitchen, grab some friends on Second Life and click your way to bargain bliss. It appears then, that in a world of online shopping, gaming and socialising that we’re all having fun, but there’s a price that comes with taking your cyberlife too seriously. My advice; if you feel you’re getting too in touch with your cyber-self and starting to spend your evenings locked in your room glued to a computer screen? Log off now, before you’re forced to join the group ‘If I fail my degree then I’d like compensation from Facebook’. Seriously.
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Art lover? Review it: culture.thestudent@gmail.com
14 Review
CULTURE
COMMISSION #7: Heather Woof
LORD ARTHUR SAVILE'S CRIME KING'S THEATRE RUN ENDED
Three Rings
UPON ENTERING the theatre we embark on a truly traditional evening. The pop-up book stage, complete with live pianist and hand-made placards, creates the slightly shoddy yet perfectly charming Victorian atmosphere. Lord Arthur Savile’s Crime is the story of Savile, who is told by a palm reader that there is an ominous murder in his future which he must commit. In order to avoid the victim being his fiancée, the play embarks on a fast-paced and somewhat ridiculous plot in which Savile attempts to kill whoever he can, by poison, bomb or ... exploding clocks. Despite the script being adapted from a short story, the vivacious impact of Wilde’s style remains very much in tact. While his readers have come to expect his juxtaposition between farce and intelligence, it is still enthralling to watch on stage. In his first diversion away from the musical haze of the West End, Lee Mead (Lord Arthur Savile) delivers a handsome and utterly engrossing performance. He enlightens while keeping the audience’s attention and despite his character's naïveté, he never becomes irritating. It is through this delicacy of portrayal that the play succeeds. Balancing intelligence with stupidity seems an impossible task, yet we become enchanted by a man who is ultimately on the look-out for murder. His bounce and enthusiasm are clear and complement well the character of Lady Windermere (Kate O’Mara). By oozing elegance and eccentricity there is an effortless hilarity as she delivers her effervescent epigrams to the audience, inviting
Materials: silver, found object-instrument wire
The knitting revolution Anna Feintuck investigates the future of craft at Dovecot Studios able hand-printed shirts certainly do not betray their charity shop roots. By the time you see the exhibition, Garland #21 by Shane Waltener and Cheryl McChesney Jones may have taken over the entrance. It is a striking mess of woollen knots, stitches, patches and plaits, currently resembling a psychedelic fishing net. Viewers are encouraged to create additions for the piece; enormous knitting needles, wool, and a how-to-knit book are supplied. Carnac admits that when 'Taking Time' opened in Birmingham, she felt a little disappointed upon first seeing the exhibition: “Something that had been so alive was suddenly static.” The disappointed feeling was short-lived though, as viewers began to contribute to Garland #21: “The way Shane’s work grew really kept the exhibition alive...people have really responded to it.” Also encouraging participation is Amy Houghton’s One Centimetre is
a Little Less than Half an Inch, which features a vintage typewriter wired up to a screen featuring an animation made using tapestry archive material. As I typed, the tapestry on the screen changed, stitches being added and patterns created. According to Carnac, the typewriter seems to have encouraged people to leave surprisingly beautiful comments about the exhibition – clearly a more inspiring medium than the usual comment cards. Equally intriguing
OLIVIA FOYER
AS SHINY and modern as it seems after its 2008 refurbishment, Infirmary Street's Dovecot Studios actually dates back to 1912 as its founder-weavers came from William Morris’ workshops in London. An Arts and Crafts institution of sorts, then, it echoes the movement’s anti-industrial revolution thoughts.They continue to commission and exhibit tapestry, ceramics, metal work, even employing master weavers – commitment to craft indeed. Dovecot’s current exhibition 'Taking Time: Craft and the Slow Revolution', now on its second stop of an eight-venue tour, therefore seems quite at home at the gallery. 'Taking Time' features the work of 19 artists, all concerned with the idea of craft and slowness in the modern world. The exhibition expresses this beautifully, featuring craft in all of its glorious different guises, and embracing multi-media and interactivity. This is dignified revolution, but a revolution nonetheless. “We liked the idea of it being quite political,” says Helen Carnac, curator of the exhibition. “I think society could learn a lot from this.” Many of the pieces of work are indeed subtle comments on society, notably that of Neil Brownswood, who describes his work as exploring “the social, cultural and economic impact of the decline of British ceramic manufacture.” Brownswood works with salvaged ceramics, transforming them into beautiful, almost ornamental pieces of art. Carnac describes this as 'upcycling': recycling an object and making it better. It is a concept prevalent throughout the exhibition: Rebecca Earley’s covet-
– possibly the understated star of the whole exhibition – is Houghton’s Cardigan Study, a stop-motion animation projected onto a perfectly ordinary desk, which shows a cardigan slowly unravelling.
This is surprisingly compelling; after a few days of puzzling over it, I have only just realised how it was done (a secret which I shan’t divulge here)! I suggest you try not to become entangled in Garland #21 or decide to write your life story on Houghton’s typewriter, because then you won’t also get to experience the intricate joys of Sue Lawty’s Calculus: a stone drawing made from thousands of tiny stones, meticulously arranged by colour and size; cloth work inspired by paper lanterns in Kyoto by Matthew Harris; Amelieesque collections of memorabilia by Elizabeth Turrel, and much more. This exhibition works as brilliantly as it does thanks to Carnac: the works, whilst individually striking in all their painstaking detail, could have created an overpowering whole. Instead, they almost seem to interact: “Maybe the works are about themselves rather than the artist ... they definitely seem to interact and have an identity in their own right. Some of them look like they might get up and have a run around the gallery at night!” she says. The exhibition is welcoming and easy to enjoy, helped by the fact that each piece of work has an interesting and illuminating blurb, although we are not bombarded with information – Carnac wanted viewers to dwell on the art, saying, “It’s about the works, not words.” All in all, a visual delight with a message worth contemplating.
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The play embarks on a fast-paced and somewhat ridiculous plot in which Savile attempts to kill whoever he can, by poison, bomb or ... exploding clocks" us to partake in the whole farce. At times, the illusion is broken by the unconvincingly awkward portrayal of Lord Savile’s wife, Lady Sybil. Her disappointing performance is made all the more apparent as she lacks the ridiculousness of aristocracy that the rest of the cast achieve so meticulously. Gary Wilmot, however, offers a sturdy performance as clairvoyant Podgers; despite lacking the overly quirky personality that may have been intended, he delivers the slapstick humour to timed perfection and the experience he brings to the the cast is notable and necessary. The production is vigorous and authentic and the script has enough aphorisms and pithy wit to keep the audience engaged. With its outrageously flamboyant story, the play cannot take itself too seriously and this self-aware irony amplifies the fun it so casually achieves. At times the momentum dips, but the strength of the cast's performances alone are enough to support this aesthetically joyous play. Hannah Clark
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Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Review 15 STAR RATING Christmas jumper
Warm and cosy
A bit woolly
Knit-picking
Tangled yarn
High Rankin
Anna Reid grills Ian Rankin about Rebus, writing and the best pubs in Edinburgh would give us half an hour, and he would have wandered off by then!” Perhaps understandably, Rebus is not Rankin’s favourite character: “I think Siobhan’s my favourite, because really she represents me... she becomes my spokesperson, trying to make
“
Anyone else think chips and ketchup counts as two of your five-a-day?" Rebus change his mind about stuff.” Describing his writing style and the fact that he never knows how his novels will end until the end, Rankin admitted that it was “horrible” advice for young writers. “Black and Blue was the first successful Rebus book and in total it was my 13th novel, and even then I wasn’t making enough for a mortgage in Edinburgh... it was 15 novels before I could get a flat... It’s a long apprenticeship; my first book I got £200, first Rebus I got £500 and the advances are still at that kind of level... You learn about the successful writers,
you don’t learn about the majority.” The books were never intended to become a series, and indeed the limited success of the first almost spelled the end of Rebus. “I went off and wrote a spy novel and a thriller set in America. It was an editor said to me ‘Hey, whatever happened to that guy, Rebus, I liked him.’ ‘Really? Maybe I’ll do another one then.’ That was all it took, somebody saying ‘I liked it'.” As a student, Rankin’s local was the University Arms – “And it’s nowhere near the university. I went in one night, I said to the guy ‘Why’s this called the University Arms?’ He said, ‘Any students come in, I’ll rip their fucking arms off. What do you do, pal?’ Said ‘I’m a bricklayer'.” Since then, Rankin has lived outside Edinburgh for ten years, but returns regularly for research – or to stand in a pub listening to stories. “I love Edinburgh. It’s got all the amenities of a city but feels like a village. It’s also inexhaustible for a writer; there’s so many stories waiting to be told. There’s things about Edinburgh I still don’t know.” However, Rankin does know the JAMES BASTER
TEVIOT’S EVENING with Ian Rankin, prolific crime writer, alumnus of the University of Edinburgh, recipient of many literary awards and honorary degrees, opened with this piece of wisdom: “Anyone else think chips and ketchup counts as two of your five-a-day?”. So followed an hour of advice, stories, jokes and general conversation from a master of crime fiction. During his monologue, fans were excited by the news that, as of this week, Rankin is seriously considering bringing the dour detective, John Rebus, back to our shelves. In an interview with me after his appearance he explained that, after writing about Rebus for over 20 years, he enjoys inhabiting his mind. “It’s so different from my head – he’d hate me if he met me! That’s why I have this good sort of tussle whenever I meet up with him, where I try to persuade him that the world isn’t the way he thinks it is.” He explains that they would have very little to talk about if they ever met: “We could talk about music and booze. We could talk about our backgrounds; we’re both from Cardenden. So that
best pubs in Edinburgh – although he claims the only place Rebus would drink is the Oxford Bar – “unless someone pays money to charity for him to go somewhere else.” He also claims that one woman actually paid for her cat to make an appearance in his novels. “She sent me psychological breakdowns – for a cat!” Rankin claims that there is a great camaraderie between crime writers as they believe they are not taken seriously by the literary establishment, explaining, “We’re the kids from the wrong side of the tracks. You’re not giving us the Booker Prize - Fuck you, we’ll go off and have our own prizes.” He also wishes to issue a final warning to his readers: 1. Watch out for romantic fiction writers: “None of their dark side gets on the page which means in real life they’re ugly, mean, sadistic figures.” 2. Never make an enemy of a crime writer – "They can kill you in a million different ways."
HORMONAL HOUSEWIVES FESTIVAL THEATRE RUN ENDED
FOLLOWING TWO successful tours of The Vagina Monologues, Carol Smillie turns her hand to a slightly less high-profile foray into female sexuality.
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Audience participation didn't quite get off the ground: the actresses encouraged the audience to fan their programmes toward the stage whenever one of them 'gets in a huff', but many were reluctant, and many hadn't bought programmes." Macbeth: Which witch is the mummy? Thank God they're not my real mummy.... MACBETH BEDLAM THEATRE RUN ENDED
EDINBURGH UNIVERSITY Theatre Company opens Macbeth with the three witches emerging from a red velvet backdrop, wrapped in bandages in a very life-like storm. It becomes apparent that director Ed Sheridan has managed to avoid cliché in such a familiar play by keeping this production a little unconventional but very convincing. Typifying this, the set manages to be both minimal and claustrophobic, both dangerous and sexy. There is phenomenal chemistry between Solomon Mousley’s Macbeth and his Lady (Alice Bonifacio), but their desire for each other is constantly cleverly underlined by their cravings for power. Both Mousley and Bonifacio give
very strong performances, allowing the strength of their characterisations to reveal the weakness of their characters. Separately they demonstrate confidence over the text and subtle personifications of their demise, but they particularly excel when paired together. As each dares the other on, the pair highlight the seductive and destructive nature of ambition while providing enough energy to fuel the rest of the production. Fortunately, Macbeth does not have to rely on the leads alone for strong performances. Will Green is remarkable as Macduff with his reaction upon hearing about the death of his family being particularly moving. And when combined with Mousley’s hints at Macbeth’s unnerving emotional state, it led to an incredibly tense and dramatic final act. Sheridan also tackled Bedlam’s natural bias towards men (in having more female members, but fewer female roles) by casting Sophie
Pemberton and Ailis Duff as Duncan and Malcolm respectively. Yet as their genders were not changed in the text, this was met with moderate success. Initially however, Pemberton bought a maternal element to a testosterone-driven discussion of the future of Scotland, and there was a new sexual element to Malcolm’s teasing of Macduff in Act Four. The ensemble did well to avoid the awkwardness that often prevails in Shakespeare’s large court scenes. The trio of murders (especially Alexandra Wertherell's) were suitably sullen, while the three witches were definitely weird and strangely attractive with it. For once the sub-arctic temperatures in Bedlam do not detract from the performance, but instead create an air of authenticity. When the porter tells the audience, "This place is too cold for hell," they can only agree. This is not hell; this is Scotland. Jenni Smout
Hormonal Housewives is structured as a kind of sketch show, loosely following the stories of three forty-something women, played by Smillie and fellow Scots Shonagh Price and Julie Coombe. We follow the energetic trio as they prepare for a big night out, pausing along the way to attend a getting-to-know-your-vagina workshop, cure Carol of her gymophobia, counsel Shonagh through her divorce and explore Julie’s efforts to slim down. Despite being the biggest name on board, Smillie’s performance is a bit flat and I was disappointed by the absence of her usual enthusiasm. Radio actress and writer Julie Coombe, however, really steals the show. Having co-written Hormonal Housewives with husband John Macisaac, she delivers sharp one-liners and cutting send-ups with a warmth that really, erm, makes the script her own.
Rebus' return?
RANKIN SAYS Rebus has “unfinished business” and may well be revisited. However he admitted that he fears by writing another Rebus novel, he will face a similar fate to Arthur Conan Doyle. “If I go back to Rebus then the journalists start saying 'Oh, your life after Rebus wasn’t a success' which just isn’t true. The irony is that Doors Open has sold more copies than any of my Rebus novels.” Even if the decision is not finalised, Rankin knows exactly what has become of his longest running character: “There’s a unit in police headquarters that looks at old unsolved cases; Rebus is one of the three retired detectives working there.” But while there may well still be “life in the old dog”, Rankin’s decision is not yet concrete: “If you’d asked me last week I’d have said the next book’s going to be about The Complaints, this week I think it’s going to be a book about Rebus. I change my mind every week!”
Their opening night performance is a little shaky and both Smillie and Price do seem to be struggling to remember their cues. Audience participation doesn’t quite get off the ground either. The actresses encourage the audience to fan their programmes in the direction of the stage whenever one of them ‘gets into a huff ’, but many are reluctant, and many hadn’t bought programmes." However, the soundtrack is really well chosen and had me shuffling in my seat to girly anthems. The set too, is rather spectacular, a vision of glittering pink and flashing lights. When the comedy works, it works well and there are real laugh-outloud moments, but the sketches remain a bit hit-and-miss, and the sloppiness of some of the cues and choreography detract from the confidence of the performance.
“
My advice to anyone thinking of attending the show would be, if you have a weird insecurity, please, just google it." Like most frank discussions on womanhood, Hormonal Housewives left me fretting about a whole host of problems I never knew I had. From the labours of childbirth, to Hormone Replacement Therapy and menopausal mood swings, the overriding effect of the performance was to fill me with absolute horror at the prospect of ageing, gracefully or otherwise. That said, Hormonal Housewives obviously isn’t targeted at 20-year-old university students, and the audience, consisting mainly of glammed up 40-to-70-year-old women, seemed to lap it up. My advice to anyone thinking of attending the show, however, would be, if you have a weird insecurity, please, just google it. Lisa Parr
Tuesday March 2 2010 film@studentnewspaper.org
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16 Review
Film MicMacs Directed by Jeane-Pierre Jeunet Jean-Pierre Jeunet’s latest combines his trademark quirkiness with some traditional French slapstick comedy (think Yves Robert/Pierre Richard collaborations), albeit somewhat unsuccessfully. Having some of his typical cast such as Yolande Moreau (landlady from Amelie), Dominique Pinon (present in almost every one of Jeunet’s films, for instance, as the obsessive punter with a tape recorder from Amelie and the excircus performer and the new tenant of Delicatessen) and Urbain Cancelier (the bully shopkeeper from Amelie), Jeunet also introduces to us a bunch of new actors, who, almost inevitably, all seem a bit typecast. A little boy (Noé Boon) loses his father to a landmine and his mother to grief at an early age. Skipping thirty years ahead, Bazil (Noé’s dad, Dany Boon) is now an average loser sitting around in a video store. After a very unlikely incident of taking a bullet from a gun that wasn’t meant for him, Bazil ends up losing what little he had. Wandering around the streets one day he meets Placard ( Jean-Pierre Marielle), who takes him to a waste ground where a bunch of misfits have made themselves a home.
Micmacs, as they like to call themselves, are an eclectic lot of weird and weirder from mad inventors to ex-cons. Although each of them would have a sad story to tell, the viewers are only provided with a few brief remarks on their pasts. Thus, the script doesn’t really allow the audience to sympathise with the characters, offering a group of crazy cardboard cut-outs who have very minimal comprehensible dialogue. Soon Bazil has a sudden revelation and decides to take on the weapon manufacturers, who in a roundabout way caused his father’s death and Bazil’s own injury. At this point, one could as-
sume that Bazil could be more worried about fixing his own life. However, as he is happily settled at the Micmacs’ house, there seems to be nothing else to do but to come up with a plan of revenge. On Jeunet’s part, applying the peculiarly adorable aspects of Amelie on his new film is not a bad move per se. However, the characters of Micmacs and the plot that unravels lack the same appeal. At times it’s difficult to see the motives behind the characters’ actions and even though they supposedly have a thought-through plan for taking down the weapon manufacturers, there
seems to be a lot of random mayhem happening just for the spectacle. The plot of Micmacs is basically a story of underdog good guys taking down some high-ranking baddies. However, it is possible to reach far beyond the simplistic action-comedyadventure facade and interpret the film as a subtle comment masked in lightheartedness on the dodgy dealings of vigilantes and corporations, questioning also their ties to the government. Still, it’s difficult to guess how much of it is Jeunet’s politics and how much is simply finding convenient but realistic baddies that everyone would obviously
From paris with love Directed by pierre morel
Capitalism: a Love Story Directed by Michael Moore Michael Moore, director and producer of five of the top-grossing documentaries in cinema history, is a multi-millionaire several times over. Capitalism: A Love Story is his latest diatribe against ‘the system’ which has afforded him more wealth than an average lottery winner. Before the movie began, I was sure he wouldn’t open another documentary with footage of bygone Americana from his childhood juxtaposed with dramatic news and crime footage of a seemingly hellish situation at present. Surely he won’t have a nu-metal score attempting to scream subtle irony at me in my chair? No, he won’t have another pile-up of mismatched sequences of weepy victims interspersed with mangled statistics and Catholic priests bemoaning American capitalism as the incarnation of evil? Of course, I was wrong. Michael Moore has never been one to take his audience for granted. Cough…
With little coherent narrative structure and even less original footage – the first hour is almost entirely archive footage of America from the post-Fordist 50s of his allegedly idyllic childhood to the neoliberalism of Reaganomics, all the while Moore paternalistically crooning about how it was all really an illusion – it would be wrong to call this sycophantic exercise in self-congratulation a documentary film. It is only three quarters of the way in, by which point the woman next to me had begun snoring loudly, that Moore begins to redeem himself. On Capitol Hill he manages to interview the government overseer of the bailout, a truly chilling sequence whereby the arrogance of bankers and enforced ignorance of even the highest members of government is laid bare. Obama’s election victory features heavily towards the end, although for the European audiences the footage of semi-literate rednecks calling Obama a socialist interspersed with footage of Stalin would be comical were it not for the fact that it reeks of the selfsame smug complacency Moore manages to keep up for almost two hours. The main problem, however, is that
Moore looks like a very, very fat cat. A morose grey-whiskered Garfield shuffling around Wall Street with his tail between his legs, we are left to marvel at his undeniable screen presence: he is easily the size of two well-built security guards. Almost 80% of people in this movie are clinically obese, so much so that they cannot even walk properly. Waddling tearfully from repossessed ranches they knew they couldn’t afford to 3-litre pickup trucks, it is hard to sympathise with people whose corpulence sags over their blue-collar shirt necks. One aptly ironic moment stays with you long after you’ve left the cinema. As Megaphone Moore harasses Bank of America executives for advice on what to do, one astute banker sardonically replies: ‘stop making movies’. Perhaps it’s time for Moore to shut up and listen for a change. Gordon McLean
Screening Times Cameo Daily : 12.30 15.20 18.10 21.00
Although apparently taking its name from the Bond classic From Russia with Love, From Paris with Love has none of the suave elegance or sophistication of its namesake. James Reece ( Jonathan Rhys Meyers) is an American secret agent working undercover at the Embassy in Paris and desperate for a promotion. When Mr Charlie ‘wax on wax off ’ Wax ( John Travolta) rolls into town, Reece is told that if he partners him for a special mission he will get the promotion. Reece, on hearing this, believes he has it in the bag. That is, until he meets the wild card rule-breaking drug-fuelled Wax. Together they embark on a mission to foil
hate. In Micmacs, Jeunet’s distinctive surrealism tries desperately to cling on to reality, with references to Youtube and the photo of one of the bad guys shaking hands with Sarkozy. Adding to the mix the passing clips of the posters of Micmacs around the billboards of Paris, Jeunet’s film is self-consciously contemporary, trying to persuade the viewers that this isn’t a remote nevernever land, but a little bit of strangeness happening here and now. Some of the film’s features like the soundtrack and the opening credits seem to have been inspired by the 1946’s The Big Sleep that Bazil is watching in one of the first scenes of the film. However, there is little else to connect Micmacs with Bogie and Bacall on the run. There is a central romance between Bazil and La Môme Caoutchouc aka ‘the contortionist girl’ ( Julie Ferrier), but based on nothing but a few pieces of conversation, this could be considered vaguely cute at most. Characteristic to Jeunet, Micmacs does have a certain charm and wonderful visuals. However, its efforts to balance the surreal and real and to provide insight to the fearless group of libertines fall short from the standard set by Amelie and Delicatessen. Helen Harjak
Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 12.45 15.30 18.10 20.50 a terrorist plot and save Paris, leaving a trail of blood, bodies, and debris in their wake. There is, unfortunately, nothing new or exciting about this film. From Paris with Love is pervaded by an acute sense of ‘been there, done that, seen it all before’. We have the token slow-motion action scenes: cue Travolta running through a line of gun fire, explosions all around, bits of building flying everywhere and that final slide into some cover. And all achieved without even a scratch to show for it. Are we impressed? Well no, not really. And then there is Jonathan Rhys Meyers, giving us his usual performance: always insincere, always with a bad accent, always with no emotion or depth behind the eyes and always sure to add nothing to the film. It cannot be said to have been a particularly good performance by Travolta either. In a very hammed up tough-guy act, Travolta’s only saving graces are his few very self-aware one-liners, which at least puncture the boring action with a much needed injection of wit. However, even this desperately fails at one point with a blatant rip-off of Pulp Fiction humour. It just shouldn’t have even tried to go there. And in all other areas, From Paris with Love is found wanting. With a cheesy, predictable script, not particularly exciting stunts, and unoriginal cinematography, there is not much going for this film. There are infinitely better ones out there at the moment which should, without a doubt, be seen over this poor excuse for an actionthriller. Laura Peebles
Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 11.00 13.30 16.00 18.30 21.00
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Tuesday March 2 2010 film@studentnewspaper.org
Review 17
The aftermath of the BAFTA's The 2010 awards season has been dominated by one epic battle as James Cameron, director of Avatar, faces Kathryn Bigelow – director of The Hurt Locker and also his ex-wife. It’s essentially Cameron vs. anti-Cameron: Avatar is the record-breaking hit thanks to its money-fuelled special effects orgy, while The Hurt Locker is the low-budget war drama which still managed to pack the screen with visual power and intensity. At last week’s BAFTAs, Bigelow’s film picked up six awards, including Best Film, Director, and Original Screenplay, while Avatar only walked away with the inevitable Visual Effects and Production Design awards. For this, the BAFTAs deserve a big sloppy kiss, with tongues. How refreshing it is to see the awards jump off the bandwagon for once and award quality instead of hype! Avatar may have broken boundaries with its visual splendour, but after The Lord of the Rings trilogy proved bigbudget fantasy could provide as much subtlety and heart as the finest Miramax drama, movies need to saturate our hearts and not just our eyes. And what movie better achieved this than The Hurt Locker, deemed quite possibly the finest representation of the conflict with Iraq on film. One can only hope the Oscars will follow suit, although Titanic’s historical win over LA Confidential has made me so pessimistic as to wager a whole drink (I’m very poor) that Avatar will win. Please prove me wrong! The leading acting nods were kept a very British affair, with Colin Firth and
the crazies Directed by breck eisner Roger Corman made a career’s worth of movies on a shoestring budget, but he always stressed the importance of theme and subtext in binding a project together. The horror flick The Crazies, however, is wading in the kiddie pool of film subtext. The Crazies takes place in Ogden Marsh, Iowa, the portrayal of which cries out ‘quaint rural living’. Farming is the main occupation, everyone plays baseball in the springtime and the only minority you’ll be likely to encounter is the guy who buries you. Yep, life sure is great in Iowa – until Sheriff Dutton (Timothy Olyphant) has to shoot an
Clarisse Loughrey gives us a run-through on the happenings of the star-studded Sunday night
Carey Mulligan scooping up awards for A Single Man and An Education respectively. Although both are surely deserving, their wins screamed ‘national pride’ like a bulldog in a Union Jack waistcoat, ignoring Oscar favourites Jeff Bridges and Sandra Bullock who both won big at the Golden Globes (the latter not even being nominated). The choices for supporting acting were far more conventional with Mo’Nique
for Precious and Christoph Waltz for Inglourious Basterds winning: expect these two to win at the Oscars as well. My heart goes out to poor Kristen Stewart, winner of the Orange Rising Star Award, who looked resolutely embarrassed by her win. It may have been obvious to her and everyone else that she only won thanks to the rabid, cultlike enthusiasm of Twilight fans, but she is an underrated actress and here’s
armed man during a baseball game. To go any further would spoil it for you, but if you liked Zack Snyder’s remake of Dawn of the Dead, you’ll love The Crazies: tons of blood, jumps, and action pieces. However, if you felt the Dawn remake was a little flat compared to the original’s scathing critique of American consumerism, you’ll recognize the same two-dimensional vibe in The Crazies. The movie is so busy rushing from one scare to the next that it never gives itself the chance to develop the characters. In essence it was like watching someone play Resident Evil (not to mention a shot of the destroyed town that reminded me of Raccoon City’s devastation). The only ‘subtext’ here is director Breck Eisner’s perpetuation of government control myths by displaying a military that has the manpower and the intelligence to quickly quarantine a town within 48 hours.
Please. We (speaking as a U.S. citizen) are so busy tripping over our no-bid contracts, internal bureaucracy and corruption that we can’t effectively help refugees after a hurricane or fight a war. The sudden apparition of the military is reminiscent of Shaun of the Dead’s final act: in Shaun it was meant to be funny, but The Crazies just wants you to swallow your disbelief. Overall, The Crazies is an okay horror film: kudos for practical effects and some directorial points. It just doesn’t have the heart to make it good. If you’re looking for a horror-film with more meat on the bones, check out Carriers.
hoping her upcoming performance as rocker Joan Jett in The Runaways may go some way to awarding her the long due respect. When it comes to the ceremony itself, the less said about the host Jonathan Ross the better. Many of his jokes were met with steely silence. If you can’t get a room of actors, a group of people specifically trained to fake emotions to laugh, it is time to put the microphone
down and crawl into some far-off deserted cave. Finally, on a purely superficial HELLO! magazine note, my god did Clive Owen look handsome! He will always be my favourite Bond that was never actually Bond. Clarisse Loughrey
END OF TERM PARTY
Remington Smith
Screening Times Cineworld Daily: 12.50 15.20 17.50 20.30
Potterrow 9pm - 3am
FRIDAY 26TH MARCH Tickets: Free Before 10PM/£3 Before Midnight/£4 After (£5/6 Non Students)
eusa.ed.ac.uk
Edinburgh Univerity Students’ Asociation is a Registered Scottish Charity (No.SCO15800)
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
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18 Review
Music
Swedish pop. Not Abba. Andrew Chadwick gives his verdict on little-known Swedish indie-poppers The Radio Dept, and gets an early taste of summer in the process.
The Radio dept. Clinging To A Scheme Labrador
In 2003, The Radio Dept released Lesser Matters, a lovely shoe-gazey minimasterpiece that the critics adored... and everyone else ignored. At the time, there was supposedly something of a shoe-gaze or C86 revival, and The Radio Dept were filed alongside Engineers and others who were making lo-fi distortion bathed pop gems. That 'revival' of late 80's and early 90's indie pop never really took off, but in 2010, with bands such as The Big Pink and The Pains of Being Pure At Heart being widely praised, perhaps now is the time for The Radio Dept's sweet, lo-fi songs. Hailing from Lund, Sweden, and fitting pretty snugly into the Labrador family that also incorporates fellow twee-poppers Sambassadeur, Acid House Kings and The Mary Onettes, Clinging To
A Scheme is The Radio Dept's third album, and it continues in largely the same vein as their previous efforts. This time around, however, they've expanded their sound slightly to incorporate synths, spoken-word samples and acid-house pianos reminiscent of St Etienne's version of 'Only Love Can Break Your Heart.' Similar era, then, but with a slightly more sunny, chirpy feel that makes songs such as 'Heaven's On Fire' and 'A Token Of Gratitude' stand out even amongst their considerable back catalogue. Spoken word clips talk of 'bringing down the bogus capitalist process that is suffocating our youth culture' whilst dreamy pianos and 90s-sounding synths loop over each other so that you can almost feel the summer sun as singer Johan Duncanson's vocals breeze along lazily, evoking The Field Mice at their finest. It may not be groundbreaking but these are beautifully crafted pop songs that are instantly accessible and provide a welcome reminder that summer is, finally, coming.
Vote Mayhew for
Massive Attack HELIGOLAND
Glastonbury
virgin
Normally when we receive an email asking us to give some support to a band of Edinburgh University students, it goes straight to the trash box, where we promptly click delete all and pretend we never saw it, such is our (well, my - Andy) pessimism regarding the musical sensibilities of our fellow students. However, Mayhew are an exception, and their lovely folk-tinged acoustic songs have got them very close to a slot at this year's Glastonbury. Now, they need your help to get there, so go to www.qthemusic.com/ glastonburynewtalent and vote for Mayhew. Their new EP, 'Tinderbox' is out very soon, and they will play at the Roxy room on March 6th. Tunes are available to stream at www.myspace.com/mayhewmusic
Singles ke$ha Blah Blah Blah columbia
Pity the man who tries to chat up Ke$ha. What to him sounds like a wonderfully playful questioning of what her middle name is (I’m betting it has some currency symbol in it) to her just sounds like ‘blah blah blah’. As if this couldn’t get any worse, she goes on to spurn their wooing attempt with a cutting ‘nah, nah, nah’. Ouch. Oh, Ke$ha, you’re so wackily nonchalant. I’m betting your next song will be called ‘Meh’. But while she may get cool points for not trying with her lyrics at all, unfortunately the song itself is embarrassingly over-produced, to the point where it sounds like Princess Superstar wrapped in cling-film and placed in a blender. But I just can’t fault the central thesis of the song; of being so horny you can’t decipher actual words; it’s how I feel in most lectures. [Catherine Sylvain]
With the release of this album, Massive Attack find themselves in an interesting, if unfortunate situation. Their four album output since 1991 has yielded two accepted classics, one solid record and one known dud. If that doesn’t sound too bad, it has to be noted that the aforementioned let down was the last album that they released, that it was released seven years ago, that it immediately followed their 1998 zenith “Mezzanine”, and that it was only recorded by one original band member. Taking all this into account, it’s not so much of a surprise
that this seminal band’s newest effort doesn’t appear to have been awaited with particularly baited breath. It’s a pleasant surprise, then, when opener “Pray for Rain” skulks out of the gate on top of ominous rising piano chords and a fantastic, loping drum beat. Tv On the Radio’s Tunde Adebimpe delivers a haunting vocal over music that ebbs and flows throughout the tracks duration, always gaining texture and momentum. The winning streak continues through the next two songs, “Babel”s gritty bass and almost IDM-esque drum programming enticing a measured, ethereal performance out of vocalist Martina Topley-Bird. Things get a little less complex for single “Splitting The Atom”, but it functions as a strangely subdued anthemic respite after the less compromising opening duo. It’s a little less consistent from there on in, with tracks that are less stellar, although no less interesting.
boyzone
LEONA lEWIS
Gave It All Away
I Got You
polydor
“Flat of The Blade” is the highlight of these more experimental tracks, beginning with little semblance of a groove, Elbow’s Guy Garvey’s voice hovering over stuttering bass gurgles and infrequent snare strikes. Part of the albums success is the partial regrouping of Massive Attack; while still only half of the original lineup, the reunited 3D and Daddy G work better than the incarnation that only involved the former that we saw on “100th Window”, their last release. There’s also the impressive guest-list, involving those previously mentioned alongside other luminaries like Damon Albarn and Horace Andy. But most of all, you get the impression that it is simply Massive Attacks way with a creepy, snail-paced groove. Michaerl Russam
syco
This touching tribute to Stephen Gately was not penned by the remaining members of Boyzone, but rather by Mika, suggesting that only a gay man could understand the gay pain of gay death. In actuality the song had originally been earmarked for all five boys when they made their comeback but Mika only gave them the rights to it after Gately’s death. Perhaps if the other three members also died Paul McCartney would give Ronan Keating the rights to ‘All You Need Is Love’. The larger problem with the song is that it’s piss poor. What could have been an emotive ballad instead is layered with some incongruous sampling of what sounds to be Peter Andre’s ‘Mysterious Girl’. More’s the pity as you’d think death would come naturally to a boyband, I may be mistaken but I’m sure Dignitas have the rights to all of Westlife’s back catalogue. But unfortuantely not even death would be a relief from this crapfest. [CS]
Few voices are capable of evoking pain like Leona Lewis’s. She should do the voiceovers on those anti-speeding ads. Instead of the little girl saying “If you hit me at 30 mph I crack my spinal cord”, she’d just lip-sync to ‘Bleeding Love’. 40mph would be Lewis’ cover of that Snow Patrol song. Sadly, ‘I Got You’ off Leona’s latest album clocks in at a mere 25mph on the pain meter. The verses are tedious and only the chorus stands out for its innovative substitution of actual lyrics for staggered warbling breaths so Lewis sounds to be sobbing. But as always it’s exquisite. We’re hard-wired to find female vulnerability beautiful and so hence are faced with frequent fashion editorials in which the models lie prone or appear to be unconscious. This is the musical equivalent to those rapey Gucci ads except you probably won’t know why you’re secretly turned on by it. [CS}
Wanna write for TV? No? Oh. Well, fuck you then. tv.studentnewspaper@googlemail.com
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Review 19
TV
Blame it on the Speaker
NO LIKEY, NO LIGHTY
Dan Nicholson-Heap enjoys On Expenses, the first TV show to deal with the political scandal of our times
ike that glut of films about 9/11, L I was a bit suspicious about On Expenses being broadcast so close to the events in portrays. The expenses scandal was a national orgy of exaggerated disgust about something we all, deep down, knew was happening anyway, if not in the lurid detail that eventually emerged. We all took part in it, and there was a risk of On Expenses being a worthless continuation of what we’ve been exposed to ad nauseum over the past year simply indulging our jumpedup sense of outrage. Praise is due, then, for writer Tony Saint’s extremely well-researched and revealing insight into the origins of the biggest political scandal of the this century. Like many others, I assumed that the whole thing had been dug up by The Daily Telegraph, but On Expenses revealed that the whole thing was the result of the campaign of one lone frustrated woman, going all the way back to 2005. Given that we already know every single gory detail of what went on, it is extremely wise of Saint to focus more on the unknown back story
to the scandal. Anna Maxwell-Martin plays Heather Brooke, an American former journalist having a mid-life career lull frustrated with a country she sees as overly bureaucratic, elitist and secretive.
“
Y
Brian Cox plays the puffed-up Speaker brilliantly" With the passage of the Freedom of Information Act , Brooke launches a one woman legal campaign to get the Commons’ authorities to come clean on expenses. Enter the wonderfully puffed-up Speaker Michael Martin, portrayed brilliantly by Brian Cox. Not only does Cox look and sound exactly like Martin, but he captures perfectly someone who started out as an outsider, a former radical trade unionist born into one of the poorest areas of the country, someone who should have been outside the tent pissing in, but got sucked into the establishment and works flat-out to
Nothing screams importance of position more than a frilly cravat uphold it against the interests of those he is meant to represent. Martin is the focus of the programme’s surprisingly small number of gags; swigging Irn Bru out of a plastic bottle in the opulence of the Speaker’s residence, and wandering around attempting to play the bagpipes in his full Speaker get-up. The promotion of On Expenses as a ‘comedy’ was overselling slightly: the humour is fairly subtle (MPs walking around with John Lewis carrier bags) but as a result tends to get lost too far into the background, especially in the middle when the focus shifts to the plethora of court battles and committee hearings, when the whole things gets a bit dry.
“
Heather Brooke comes across as a sad and pathetic figure, unhealthily obsessed with herself" Insert joke about America versus Britain involving Red Coats here
The most surprising thing is how badly Brooke comes off. Again, it would be easy for her to be written as hero, a long crusader against an evil establish-
ment, a sort of one woman repository of the nation’s spleen. In contrast, she comes across as a rather sad and pathetic figure, unhealthily obsessed with herself and not doing it all for the sake of transparency and openness but as an attempt to jump-start her career (hence her anger at The Daily Telegraph for hijacking ‘her’ campaign). At some points she is so over the top that you start feeling sorry for Martin and the other MPs. Equally, while they are not let of the hook (“This freedom of information stuff applies to us as well then?” captures their aloofness and arrogance perfectly), it pokes fun without becoming the 50-minute mass lynching it had the potential to be under a less careful director. This was a long overdue levelling of the playing field and a welcome injection of sobriety into the expenses scandal. On Expenses doles out punishment to both sides, reminding us that we are partly at fault for not previously paying enough attention to what goes on in Westminster and pointing out that most of us would probably have done the same thing and that our politicians did nothing that hasn’t been going on everywhere for time immemorial.
Relationship status: It's Complicated
Debbie Hicks is pleasantly surprised by rom-dram-com Married Single Other
L
et me make something clear from the off. I am not of that particular breed of woman that enjoys chick-flicks and rom-coms. If you’re looking for someone who insists on watching Love Actually eight times in a row on Christmas Eve with a box of tissues and three tubs of Ben & Jerry’s
“
The show takes a stab at a realistic investigation into relationships in everyday suburbia" you’re barking up the wrong tree. So naturally I was pretty prepared to loathe ITV’s new romantic comedy drama Married Single Other with every iota of my being. I even had a few juicy quips to squeeze into the review, but I’m afraid to say they have had to go to waste: ITV, who brought you such monstrosities as Secret Diary of a Call-Girl, What Katie Did Next and Ant and Dec’s Push the Button, may have produced an if not witty,
intelligent romantic comedy, certainly a watchable one. The series follows the trials and tribulations of three dysfunctional couples: there’s Eddie, who has proposed to his partner Issy on her birthday every year for 16 years; Babs, who is desperately trying to figure out what to do with her useless but loveable husband Dickie, and Clint,
womaniser turned smitten for the delectable model Abby. A rather entangled web of other connections link the couples, with all the chaps being jogging partners or old school mates, and them all clearly living a few streets away from one another - however, it gets a bit convoluted after a while and you just accept that they all know each other by some form of arbitrary
Look at his shirt. Now that's what I call a bleeding heart... (I'm sorry)
designation. Rather than follow the normal pattern of single-meets-other-findslove, Married Single Other takes something like a stab at a realistic investigation into people’s relationships in everyday suburbia. It doesn’t always work, of course, and the inclusion of some monologues by Issy and Eddie’s neurotic youngest son, who becomes obsessed with marriage as a result of their conflict, does roam into prime Stilton country. But there are scattered in between moments of truly touching beauty, subtly achieved and with some fairly nifty camera work thrown in. Maybe it’s because my expectations were so low to start with (particularly after battling with ITV player for about 40 minutes, which made me incandescent with rage) but I thoroughly enjoyed it. I am only astounded that they gave something actually worth watching a title reminiscent of a Facebook drop-down menu. Will I be watching again next week? Only if get to a TV instead of the %*^&@ing internet player. Maybe I’ll take some tissues with me too, and perhaps a few litres of ice-cream...
ou know reality TV is nearing its nadir when you pine for such refined programming as Blind Date. Yes, it was repetitive, and yes, Cilla Black's voice was so grating it could reduce the hardest of cheddars to mere shavings, but at least it chose to focus on the attractiveness of someone's character (or maybe their voice) rather than just how good-looking they were. The same, however, cannot be said for Take Me Out, ITV's new Saturday night gameshow hosted by a barnstorming Paddy McGuinness. It's quite similar to Blind Date in that its presenter is a convivial northerner and its objective is to hook up members of the public. Sadly, there the similarites end because Take Me Out has decided to leave out all the possible subtleties of matchmaking and instead plumped for a method that ensures rubberneckers of all shapes and sizes will get their guilty fill of car-crash television. There are three rounds to Take Me Out: firstly, a man walks to a platform in the centre of the studio and is judged on his looks by a line of women behind podiums. Secondly, we see a pre-filmed segment featuring the man talk a little bit about himself, with contributions from friends and family. Thirdly, the man is given around thirty seconds to sum up why he's such a catch. During these rounds the girls can buzz and therefore declare their disinterest, and in between them McGuinness, in front of a baying, raucous crowd, asks them why they made their choice, which usually results in extremely frank and tactless appraisals of the man's physical appearance. At the end, hopefully there should be some girls left who consequently get the chance of taking the contestant out. I hope it's not just me that finds the idea behind this programme one of the most terrifying anyone could possibly imagine. To have all your deepest fears and insecurities about your looks laid bare in front of hundreds of people, and then have that process repeated in front of several million sitting at home in the comfort of their armchairs - well, I don't even want to think about it. Thankfully I don't need to, because there are thousands of gleeful idiots willing to take that risk, all in the name of entertainment. The strange thing is, the show is actually quite good fun if you view it from a perspective of detached amusement. All the thoroughly cringeworthy lines uttered by the absurd contestants ("She's like a fine wine - I look forward to sampling her later") make for laugh-out-loud viewing, and there's a knockabout atmosphere that lends the show an air of old-school, end-of-the-pier type entertainment. Saying this, a show in which Paddy McGuinness comes across as the most intelligent and capable person in the room does have some serious problems with it. Paddy Douglas
Tuesday 2 March 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Enjoy threesomes with aliens? tech@studentnewspaper.org
20 Review
TECHNOLOGY
Face off
Richard Lane discovers that two is a crowd and three is a massacre ALIENS VS PREDATOR PC, x360, ps3 £17.99-34.99 SEGA - REBELLION
B
eing a Colonial Marine must be a contender for the worst job in fiction. As if it wasn’t bad enough fighting the squealing, acid-filled spawn of H.R. Giger’s twisted imagination, some bright corporate spark at Fox decided that the Xenomorph existed in the same universe as the dreadlocked race of interstellar hunters that believe the most honourable way to die is at the epicentre of a mushroom cloud. It does however, make an excellent premise for a game, which is probably why Aliens versus Predator has occupied a prominent spot in gaming history for the past three decades. Developers Rebellion have played a significant role in the shaping of the series, to the extent that their two best games so far are Aliens versus Predator and Aliens versus Predator.
“
Thankfully, AvP is not the abomination it so easily could have been, but neither is it a return to greatness for Rebellion." The latest of these was released way back in 1999. Unfortunately, since then Rebellion have occupied themselves with creating some of the worst games known to man. Their most recent technological cow pat was Rogue Warrior; a ludicrously gory corridor shooter that
was shorter than a mayfly’s adolescence. So I sat down to play Rebellion’s third iteration of AvP with mixed emotions of hope and despair, and when I finished playing it the very next day, my feelings for the game remained mostly unchanged. Thankfully, AvP is not the abomination it so easily could have been, but neither is it a return to greatness for Rebellion, which it also so easily could have been. AvP’s single player follows the format of the previous games, consisting of three campaigns where you play as the Alien, Predator, or Colonial Marine. Rebellion’s familiarity with the franchise shows from the start, as each race is superbly realised. This is most evident when playing as the Predator; watching the Marines patrol below you through your thermal vision mode, listening to their distorted voices as you sight one unfortunate soldier in the target of your shoulder cannon and unleash a bolt of bright blue death. The Alien plays in a similar manner, albeit devoid of all the gadgetry. Instead you have a body made of chitinous knives and the ability to climb all surfaces and lurk in the shadows. The Marine’s campaign is a more standard shooter, although one which is solid in its execution and thrillingly tense for its majority. This is thanks primarily to the oft-misleading bleeps of your motion tracker, which highlights any movement, whether it’s a dangling wire or a Xenomorph tail. Your first encounter with an Alien is a terrifying one, as in those early stages you’re separated from your squad, armed with nought but a pistol and a very short supply of luck. That, and the cheeky bugger comes from behind you like you’re part of some grotesque pantomime. Staying vigilant and keeping your distance is necessary for survival as the Marine. For the Alien and Predator, getting up close is where the fun is at. Combat is a simple yet effective mixture of speedy light attacks, stunning heavy blows, blocking and counter moves. It
HERE KITTY KITTY: Mark's mother-in-law jokes served only to anger the Alien further works well, learning how to anticipate an enemy’s attacks and respond appropriately being key to success. Alongside this are the muchvaunted trophy kills; incredibly messy finishing moves which can be effected by either stunning an opponent or sneaking behind them. I find myself in two minds about them. They are authentic to the films, particularly the Predator’s penchant for ripping out spines and the Alien’s tendency to chew through people’s faces, but the fact that the game’s marketing has emphasised them so heavily is somewhat questionable, especially when you consider the possibility that these flashy killing animations may be an attempt to divert the player’s attention from the multiple problems the game has. Most obvious of these is the game’s length, or rather, lack of it. The Alien campaign is barely two hours long, with perhaps three hours for the Predator and four for the Marine. Worse, all three campaigns are set in the same six or seven levels. Rebellion seem to have concluded that the ability to walk on the ceiling or view the world in infra-red compensates for playing the same pathetically short game three times over. It doesn't. This isn’t the only area where Rebellion have been lazy, the story for the campaigns is hardly something to shout about. I understand that creating a compelling narrative revolving around a giant insect which is more aggressive than Russell Crowe on Buckfast is no easy task, but annoyingly Rebellion were half way to succeeding. The Alien you play as is known as Number Six, a quasisentient Xenomorph birthed in a laboratory as part of WeylandYutani’s ongoing attempts to harvest the Aliens as biological weapons. This sets up for a potentially intriguing exploration of a creature consciousness lurking between hive-minded instinct and budding self-awareness. Instead, the Alien Queen orders you to kill everything that doesn't bleed acid, and you comply like all your fellow
drones, the end. The Predator’s tale is no better, using their vague honour system as a shallow excuse for killing stuff instead of trying to expand and explore the concept.
“
AvP drags behind itself most awkward matchmaking system I have ever encountered." As for the Marine, well, your characters name is “Rookie” and your Hispanic commander’s monicker is the horrendously stereotypical “Tequila”, which pretty accurately represents the plot in it's entirety. While you can complete the singleplayer in a day, the multiplayer could last you much longer. Game modes range from three-way team deathmatch to Predator and Alien tag, where one player assumes the role of your preferred extra-terrestrial, with everyone else tasked with hunting them down as Marines. There is also Survival mode, where players team up against endless waves of Aliens, yet with a pitiful two maps on offer for Survival, it’s unlikely
to keep you occupied for long. Overall the multiplayer is fast, frenetic fun, provided you can actually get onto a game. Sadly, AvP drags behind itself the most awkward matchmaking system I have ever encountered. To begin with, you can’t start a game without a full lobby, so large chunks of time are spent listening to the ear-splitting crackle of the agonisingly sensitive voice-chat system which all but allows you to hear the heartbeats of other players. You can’t join a game that has already started, and sometimes you can’t leave a game which has already started, which is frankly absurd. All of which brings me to the rather uncomfortable conclusion that AvP is a ludicrously gory corridor shooter that is shorter than a mayfly’s adolescence. Worse, it reeks of being rushed out for a quick cash-injection to keep SEGA’s conglomerate heart beating. It's only Rebellion’s extensive experience with the franchise that saves them from resting so heavily on their laurels. AvP is little more than a graphical update for a decade-old game, and that it stands up at all shows just how good Rebellion's 1999 release actually was. Considering how much progress has been made since then, this should have been something special.
Bit of a foodie, maybe a fashionista? Express yourself in Lifestyle lifestyle.studentnewspaper@googlemail.com
Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Lifestyle 21
Home On The Range
MISS HOW-TO
Joanne Fullerton doles the dish on organic and conventional produce I t is no secret that the organic food craze has been going on for quite a while now, so we’ve decided to, once and for all, give you the low-down on organic farming versus conventional (non-organic). Basically, for those of you who are not aware, organic farming is the growing of crops and rearing of animals without using any pesticides, artificial chemical fertilisers, antibiotics and wormers. Farmers use preventative methods instead. Cruelty to animals is forbidden. The production and use of genetically modified animal feed is banned. These standards are regulated by the British Soil Association. Conventional farming, just to clear up, is more or less the opposite of organic farming and can be done by companies and large farms for the sale of crops and livestock in outside markets.
Go Conventional...
1. There is more food for everybody. Conventional farming promotes a sustainable way of growing food so less economically developed countries can benefit from having crops mass produced. This wouldn’t be able to happen with organic farming. We should be worrying about starvation rather than a few chemicals here and there. 2. It’s cheaper. Less money off of your student loan means more money for another pint! 3. Ever peer behind that massive
2. There are no growth hormones injected into the animals, meaning they won’t end up in you! Yay! Not surprisingly these farms give their animals organic feed and allow them access to the outdoors where they are happy. We bet that if you asked a cow what he wanted to eat he would probably say "MOO" (translation: "Not those darn chemicals!").
Would you like your steak with a side of chips or chemicals? jar of pickled onions on the top shelf of your fridge to find a box of mouldy strawberries? Well, that mould will appear eventually…but less quick if they’re non-organic (all special thanks to preservatives). 4. Your salad certainly won’t be coming with a side of bugs, no sir. Pesticides, herbicides and chemical fertilisers all help your fruit and vegetables to grow successfully without anything getting in the way and spreading any diseases. 5. Got milk? Well lucky for you the cow had a nice dose of antibiotics and then the milk was pasteurised so you probably don’t have any bacteria
either.
Or Organic...
1. Organic farming does not use chemicals. This means watersheds and drinking water are not contaminated with poisons and the fish in nearby rivers are safe. Some of these chemicals could be cancerous, for example insecticides such as organophosphate (which was used in WWII as nerve gas). Think of the farmers exposed to this stuff every day! Plus, 98 per cent of pesticides reach unintended destinations: the air, water and non-pest animals. Also, consider what other animals are forced to eat if their usual prey are being wiped out in their area.
3. They use manure as a fertiliser, and before you think, What about E.coli! there are actually steps to stop E.coli spreading. The manure must also be from organically kept cattle. Also, non-harmful organisms in active soil (that could be killed by chemicals on a commercial farm) will create too much competition for pathogens to survive. 4. Got pus? If your milk isn’t organic it probably will. Researchers believe that the bovine growth hormone given to cows to make them unnaturally produce more milk causes a painful udder infection called mastitis which produces pus that goes into YOUR milk. Want cookies with that? Well there you have it, and no doubt it is quite a debate. Both sides present some fair points but questions still stand. Students of Edinburgh we shall leave it to you. While you walk to the supermarket think about what you will really be cooking for dinner.
Somewhere Beyond The Sea... The Mussel Inn
THE MUSSEL Inn is a brilliant example of what a seafood restaurant ought to be. On entering you are greeted by their warm and friendly staff who seat you in the main dining area. Deceptively small from the outside, the main portico holds a mirrored room with decorative and colourful nautical murals and mosaics on the wall – with enough seating for about 30. It is has a good-sized menu with an extensive array of seafood, and there’s a vegetarian option as well. For starters I chose the prawn tempura (lightly battered prawn with a sweet-chilli and crème fraiche dip) and the crab salad, which consists of crab in mayonnaise with lime and cherry tomatoes. Usually when you hear 'mayonnaise' it’s assumed that the meat will come drowned in the condiment, but at the Mussel Inn the finest ingredients mean they have nothing to hide in a pool of mayonnaise sauce. For the main I had the Hot Seafood Platter, a mix of prawns, king and queen scallops and of course mussels served in a white wine and garlic butter sauce – delicious. Judging by their titles, the food sounds simple and it is but this works to its advantage. It is also remarkably fresh and full of flavour. This is mostly because all the seafood used is from the west coast of Scotland, and is as fresh as it gets without still being alive! Finally I had the chocolate crème
brulée, smooth rich and creamy with a vanilla biscuit. Delicious! The atmosphere was lovely with exceptionally attentive and amiable waiting staff, and Iain Sim, the passionate head chef, even came out to speak with me. For about £20 a head, including a shared bottle of wine, the excellence of the Mussel Inn should speak entirely for itself. For more information on everything from the difference between scallops to chef 's tips on cooking seafood visit the Mussel Inn's website at www.mussel-inn.com.
Wanja Ochwada
Cafe Royal Oyster Bar
THE HISTORIC Royal Oyster Bar has a long and valued in Edinburgh. Founded in 1862, the establishment was built by famed architect Robert Paterson in the style of the French Second Empire, and indeed, walking into the building you can’t help but feel transported to another era. The bar area was brimming and buzzing, with the small right wing designated for the restaurant disproportionately empty save for mine and two or so other parties. Despite this,
What's bad for Sponge Bob is definitely good for you Have Facebook? Of course you do - so use it to join the group 'Lifestyle wants to know...' and tell us about your favourite eateries in Edinburgh. You could win a free meal for two!
the service was slow and uncoordinated. We had several different waiters throughout the night and the specials were relayed each time as well as us having to repeat our orders. We opted to split a delicious bottle of chilled savingoin blanc, which was lovely. For our starter, we decided to sample the restaurant’s famed seafood, choosing the Salt and Pepper Prawns, with chili, garlic, and lime. Unfortunately, the accompaniment of garlic focaccia sticks was the most appetising thing on the plate. The king prawns were overcooked and bland, with no seasoning at all to be detected. We noticed the side bowl of herb powder and guessed this was meant for dipping. Blegh. It tasted like chewy chicken dipped in salty sand. Scared off the rest of the seafood mains, we decided on the sirloin steak with Arran mustard butter. This was indeed a good decsion; the thinly-pounded steak was definitely impressive, juicy and flavourful. The accompanying arugula and roasted portbello mushroom were complementary as well, and the chunky chips were nicely savoury. For dessert, we ordered the Sharing Chocolate Trio Plate, which included a light and airy panna cotta, a slice of chocolate cake with a hard, bricklike consistency, and a gooey, luscious fondue covered in a chocolate crust. Overall, the experience lacked pizazz for such timeless surroundings. I would go again for a cocktail and the old-time feel, but leave the appetite at home.
Nell Frabotta
S
weaty palms, grinding teeth, clenching buttocks – and that’s just the voters. Yes, it’s EUSA election time again, and with every candidate promising to better your student life in ways you didn’t even know existed, you could be forgiven for picking a name out of a hat or even (gasp!) not voting at all. So how do you back a Kennedy rather than a Bush? A Margaret rather than a Gordon? A Joe McElderry rather than a Jedward? Firstly, read their manifestos – thoroughly. With all the vague jargon and sweeping statements crammed into those babies, it’s easy to overlook vital info. Think about what matters to you: do you want someone to campaign for better teaching standards? Better music at Potterrow? Do you actually give a shit about anything that happens at King’s Buildings? Make your mind up about what you want, and then look for someone who’s going to represent that. Plus, try to look for someone realistic – one-on-one teaching sounds amazing, but how likely is that to happen in your four years here? Hmm, not very. Somebody with two or three clear and achievable goals is a much safer bet than the bloke promising to convince the Library Bar to hand out free beers to queuing students. Secondly, and this is going to sound harsh, ditch your mates. Yes, they’ve roped you into knocking on doors and handing out excitingly coloured leaflets with their grinning mug on it but if you see a candidate you prefer, go for it. You’ve supported them as a friend, but as a student you need to choose whoever embodies your views best. It is your uni too, after all. Voting is anonymous anyway – let them think you ticked the wee box beside their name and never ever tell them otherwise. Especially if they lose by one vote. Third, check out what their predecessors have done with their time in office. If it looks like they haven’t done much, they probably haven’t. Do you want someone to follow skipping in their footsteps, or raze their half-arsed plans to the ground? Also, investigate how they have treated other candidates; smear campaigns may be politically effective, but they reflect badly on the instigator personally. Lastly, what if no candidates take your fancy? Well, next time get out there and start campaigning yourself.
Caitlin McDonald HEALTH TIP OF THE WEEK: Hot tea can slash your risk of kidney cancer by 15% according to a review in the International Journal of Cancer. Try pu-erh tea, which is better than green or black tea at preventing DNA damage.
Prince Philip says to a Scottish Driving Instructor:
The Student Crossword #19
“
How do you keep the natives off the booze long enough to get them through the test?"
DOWN
1. Golf clubs (5) 2. Thick slices (5) 3. Task (5) 4. Silkworm fibre (4) 5. Slip (4)
Solutions
Sudoku #19
ACROSS
HITORI
Sudoku is a logic-based number-placement puzzle. The objective is to fill the 9×9 grid so that each column, each row, and each of the nine 3×3 boxes (also called blocks or regions) contains the digits from 1 to 9 only once.
Hitori #19 The object of Hitori is to eliminate numbers by shading in the squares such that remaining cells do not contain numbers that appear more than once in either a given row or column. Filled-in cells cannot be horizontally or vertically adjacent, although they can be diagonally adjacent. The remaining un-filled cells must form a single component (i.e there must be no isolated numbers)
6. Serious wrongdoing (5) 7. Unit of capacity (5) 8. Little (5) 14. Uncommon (7) 15. Compress (7) 16. Yielded (5) 17. German measles (7) 18. Performer of gymnastic feats (7) 20. The intestine (5)
CHARITIES SPOT MEADOWS MARATHON
22. Long-continued practice (5) 28. Rigid (5) 29. Anaesthetic (5) 30. Communication medium (5) 32. Capital of Tibet (5) 33. Agave fibre (5) 34. Tremble (5) 35. Coloured (4) 36. Crustacean (4)
CROSSWORD
1. Six legged creatures (7) 5. Reaping-hooks (7) 9. Annoy (3) 10. Coral island (5) 11. A stupid person (5) 12. Young goat (3) 13. Former county in SE England (6) 16. Breakfast food (6) 19. Capable of (4) 21. Skirt worn by ballerinas (4) 23. Brought forth by birth (4) 24. Somewhere else (9) 25. Pipe (4) 26. Lubricate (4) 27. Very strong wind (4) 28. Arm cover (6) 31. Explosions (6) 35. Doctor (3) 37. Covered with hair (5) 38. Lion sounds (5) 39. Period of history (3) 40. Prevent (7) 41. Blind system of writing (7)
Puzzles
SUDOKU
Puzzles
This Week's Horoscopes... AQUARIUS Jan 21 —Feb 19
I t's okay, we are here to
help now stop crying because you still have three and a half weeks before that option becomes illegal. PISCES Feb 20—Mar 20
Y
ou think you're special, you really aren't. Nonetheless happy birthday you freaky fish. Don't forget to wear clean underwear this month, you never know... ARIES Mar 21—April 20
O
CANCER June 22—July 23
E verything
you do today will fail epically, and now you are wondering why. Put the paper down now, and back away f rom the man with the moustache, because he is stealing your good luck. LEO July 24—Aug 23
O
ne can of baked beans, toilet paper, bread and milk. There, now you definitely won't forget what it is you had to buy today. VIRGO Aug 24—Sep 23
W
verworked and underhat started as a mild paid couldn't describe concern has just blown your feelings any better. itself dangerously out of Maybe it's time to sell proportion. Before you the sub-let flat and move to March- bring out the gloves think this one mont, where only good things hap- through, are there police or any pen. potential witnesses around? No then smack them. Don't worry, less TAURUS April 21 —May 21 than a third of the domestic abuse suffered by men is reported, odds o to a S tarbucks oppoare you'll catch a break. site the Starbucks you are currently standing in. LIBRA Sept 24—Oct 23 Your hurt face will signal to the slightly less attractive and lue skies, butterfly sexually confused barista that now kisses and warm loveis his moment. Don't brush him off filled cuddles are coming when he asks you over to his house your way. Things truly later for a coffee colonic, trust me, are looking up, but maybe you it will be worth your while. should too, because no one like bird crap in thier hair on a Tuesday afGEMINI May 22—June 21 ternoon.
G
Then peace will guide the planets, and love will steer the stars...you get the point. . SAGITTARIUS Nov 23—Dec 21
D
ropping a burning bag of excrement onto your neighbour's front door was genious. But alas as you sit smugly in your kitchenette expecting a call from the Palace regarding your upcoming knighting, you are unaware that CCTV caught you, and that knock on the door isn't a chauffeur waiting to take you to Buckingham, it's the local filth there to take you to jail. Idiot. CAPRICORN Dec 22 —Jan 20
N
ostradamus would never has seen it coming, so how can you expect that we would? Stop reading this drivel and go get life, heaven knows you're not getting any younger.
Astrologist: Wanja Ochwada
B
Last year over 1000 runners came together for the Meadows Marathon and helped to raise over £50,000 for various charities ranging from Comic Relief to small local charities. This year, you can help be a part of that amazing effort. Registration closed on the 1st March, but you can still sign up to sponsor someone for the March 7th run! Go to www.meadowsmarathon.org. uk or http://esc
I
know it was you on SCORPIO Oct 24—Nov 22 chatroulette last night. Shame on you! Do you hen the moon is in kiss your mother with the seventh house, and that mouth? What would Jesus Jupiter aligns with Mars. say?
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Random Google Image for the week.
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Tuesday March 2 2010 studentnewspaper.org
Sport 23
The race for fourth Hughie Masters looks forward to an absorbing battle for fourth place in the Premier League THE TITLE race appears to be heading towards a rather dreary climax with Roman Abramovich’s deep pockets looking like they are finally going to pay dividends postMourinho. Instead, fourth place, or ‘the best of the rest’, looks set to take centre stage as we approach the home stretch of the Barclay’s Premier League. With four teams currently entrenched in this battle for the final, and financially prosperous, Champions League spot, it is shaping up to be an intriguing final few months. In contention we have Mancini’s stuttering City, Harry’s notoriously underachieving Spurs, O’Neill’s youthful and valiant Villa and, remarkably, Benitez’s at times woeful Liverpool. Currently separated by a single point, several factors (many of which will be out of the clubs’ control) are going to have a major say in who will be the final representative from England in Europe’s elite competition. When it comes to injuries, it is hard to say whether it was simply bad luck on Liverpool to fall behind slightly after having Gerrard and Torres sidelined simultaneously or whether it was a stark revelation of their lack of resources and their increasing dependency on these two stars. In terms of other competitions, it
is Manchester City, however inadvertently this may have come about, who are best placed. With Tottenham and Aston Villa facing additional FA Cup fixtures and Liverpool placing season-defining significance on progress into the latter stages of the Europa League, City are in prime position to channel all their energy into maintaining their push for the lucrative final Champions League spot. As for the remaining fixtures, two trips to Manchester (both to Old Trafford and to Eastlands) as well as the welcoming of London neighbours Arsenal and Chelsea to White Hart Lane make Tottenham’s final 11 fixtures look potentially detrimental to their chances. Tottenham’s labelling as a ‘push-around’ is something Harry Redknapp has tried to stamp out and his success was underlined by a resounding 3-0 victory last week against a strong Wigan side on a surface branded by many as the ‘worst ever’ in the history of the Premier League. It leaves Spurs fans waiting with cautious optimism as to whether this could be their breakthrough season. This brings us to an Aston Villa side who have quietly gone about their business this season, advancing to the Carling Cup final and the FA Cup quarters in the process. With an abundance of young English talent, it
hardly is hardly surprising to see Mr Capello frequenting Villa Park on any given Saturday. With the flair and pace of Agbonlahor and Young and a resurgent and revitalised James Milner, Villa are in great shape to push on and defy the opinions of many skeptics. With only 11 games remaining, it seems unlikely that any one of the
four in question is going to establish any lead which will see them comfortably finishing fourth by the end of the season. Final day antics are surely in store as they all strive to secure fourth place and all that comes with it. As much as it pains me to say it, it seems hard to look beyond City, such is the strength in depth of their current crop,
but surely the Champions League does not want to be tainted by Roberto Mancini’s token little blue scarf. Or, for that matter, tainted by the profligate David N’Gog, or even Martin O’Neill’s audacious young upstarts. This, of course, is not all coming from a Spurs fan.
EUROPE HERE WE COME: Man City are one of the favourites to grab the final Euro spot
Sport
studentnewspaper.org Tuesday March 2 2010
Battle for Europe
Hughie Masters anticipates an intriguing race for fourth place in the Premier League P23
Clinical Edinburgh dispatch Sheffield Alistair Shand reports as Edinburgh power past Sheffield in a rampant display at Peffermill AFTER A narrow a win over Sheffield for the away leg of the BUCS league, the Edinburgh women were determined to put a big score past the visitors. It was clear crisp day at Peffermill and despite the cold it was perfect conditions for rugby. From the kick-off, both teams took a while to settle into any rhythm in the game as the first ten minutes consisted of both teams giving away easy territory. Before long, however, Edinburgh settled into the game with some hard running up the field, their strong forward pack beginning to test the Sheffield defence. After 20 minutes Lisa ‘Shorty’ Martin swiftly moved the ball wide, and courtesy of some good handling by the backs the ball found the hands of Kirsty Purdon whose pace easily outstripped the Sheffield winger as she opened the scoring with Edinburgh’s first try on her debut appearance. Sheffield actively fought back and found themselves putting the pressure on and creeping back up the field in terms of territory. Nevertheless, Edinburgh’s defence held strong and, despite giving away some silly penalties, were leaving no gaps in their solid back line. Some great tactical kicking from Martin soon found Edinburgh back in the visitors' half, and some more solid handling from the backs allowed the ball to be shipped wide once again to winger Purdon who sped past the Sheffield defence for the second time to score under the posts. The subsequent kick was converted comprehensively by Minna Ahlstrom to make the score 12-0 to the hosts. After a slow start in which neither side found their rhythm Edinburgh had started to play more expansive rugby and were far more clinical with their chances than the visitors. The start of the second half saw Sheffield back in the Edinburgh twenty-two for a very brief spell. However, with some superb steals in the scrum from the forward pack and, in particular hooker Nikki McLeod, Edinburgh soon fought their way back down the pitch with another threatening attack. After a period of sustained pressure, Edinburgh powered towards the line with No 8 Roz Murphy crossing over for Edinburgh’s third try of the game and a decidedly lopsided scoreline of 17-0. The home side were a constant threat, not least due to the hard, direct running of centres Anna Fleming and Alice James. Sheffield were struggling to cope with the continuous attacks and the home side began to lay siege to the opponents tryline. A great
break from James down the wing was cut short by the fullback. However, with a fast ball, Edinburgh spread it wide again and impressive No 8 Murphy slotted herself in the back line to thunder towards the tryline. Before going over she slipped the ball wide to Purdon, who easily slipped past the last defender to make it a hat trick of tries for the speedy winger.
More clever tactical kicking from Martin found Edinburgh on the attacking edge once again. A solid attacking line out in Sheffield’s twenty-two allowed the Edinburgh backs to show a final flourish. It was the stand off Ahlstrom who showed her speed to loop round the back line and pass the ball to Mairi Sun, who finished Edinburgh’s rampant
afternoon of try scoring in style. Quickly recovering from a shaky start in this match, Edinburgh soon found a rhythm and this allowed them to dominate their opponents as the match wore on. The hosts romped to a final scoreline of 27-0 which was in stark contrast to the narrow away win they secured away at Sheffield. Having set out to put a big score on the
cards against Sheffield, the Edinburgh team did not disappoint thanks to an impressive team display and a focus on expansive, try-scoring rugby. Edinburgh will be hoping to maintain such free-flowing form as they continue their BUCS campaign and they look to be a match for any team due to their ability to put tries on the board and utilise their strengths.
SCRUM DOWN: Sheffield with the put-in, but it was Edinburgh who came out on top at Peffermill