Are you teaching your team to lead or to be dependent?

By Dana Pharant

I really thought that when I had staff I would be able to sit back and relax while they did all the work, and yet somehow I found myself even more busy than before.

How the hell did that happen?

I would roll into the office with my Starbucks expecting to enjoy my latte and get my work done in peace.

The door opens and a head pops in. “Are you busy? I need you to show me how to get the accounting system to reconcile I can’t seem to figure it out”.

I would get up and head out of my office to their desk, leaving my lovely latte behind. Stand over them and walk them through the process yet again.

As I am heading back to my office to finish what I started. Another voice stops me “hey, we are out of toilet paper. Can you pick some up today, we are desperate?

Seriously? How is it that 6 people can be using the TP and no one bothers to note when it is getting low.

I grab my latte and run out to Costco, which is just around the corner. Hopefully that giant pack will hold them for a while.

As soon as I get back in the office, another staff says they have an irate customer on the phone, and they can’t get them to calm down. Could I work my magic on them?

Why is it that I seem to be the only one with “the magic”?

This was my life, the only time I seem to get my work done was when I worked from home and refused to answer the phone.

By Friday I was so ready for some chill time with a friend, over some great wine of course.

After my 567th time complaining to my friend, she says to me “what do you train them to do? Do you train them to think or do you train them to be reliant on you?”

At first, I was mad, how dare she point that blame back on me. Could she not see that they were the problem NOT me?

After a few weeks, I let it settle in and took a really hard look at what she had pointed out. What was I actually training them to do?

If all I gave them was answers to their questions, then all I would get was more questions.

So, I set up a new plan of attack.

I had to train myself to resist the urge to answer any question with anything other than a question.

It was hard, and it felt so damn uncomfortable. I was sure that they could not figure anything out on their own. Which looking back was a really horrible thing to impose on them.

Gradually (it really took about a year), I began to let go.

When they would come to me with a problem, my response would be “hum, that is interesting. What do you think we should do about it?”

Or, I would ask “what have you tried?”

Inside, I was feeling torn. I so desperately wanted to be the person they turned to. The one they needed and yet it was sucking the life out of me to be that person.

I would breathe in deeply and make a mental note to use my tools later as I stuck to my game plan of only asking questions.

With patience and persistence, they became brilliant. Much in the same way as your parents are very wise once you have grown up and left home.

I realized that if I wanted self-reliant and self-directed staff who helped me grow the business I would have to train them to think, and acknowledge them when they came up solutions.

After some time, they came to the point of telling me what the problem was and how they fixed it. I got to hear about their solutions and I was only dialed in when the team had all tried or they needed authority to do something expensive or radical.

As you build your team or grow your team, keep my mistake in mind and train them from, the get go, to be problem solvers. And don’t be afraid to lavish on the praise for them taking initiative. You just might work yourself out of a job and into a business that pays you. Having built a 7-figure business without sales calls and as a former Dominatrix, Dana knows all about owning her power and being unique. She has worked with clients for over 25 years, helping them step into the energy of the Inner Dominatrix. She has written 5 books, won multiple awards and treats her own personal development like an extreme sport.