Self-gratitude is always in season!
by Lanna Monday Emmett As we approach the winter holidays, a season most often associated with the word “gratitude,” it is important to cover all the bases. That means not just family, friends, colleagues and bosses, but all of the folks who play in our lifetime sandbox... and that includes yourself. People may come in and out of your life by choice, necessity or accident, but you are stuck with “you” for your entire lifetime. So, shouldn’t you treat yourself well? I have to admit, growing up I don’t ever remember my parents talking about self-gratitude. I was raised to be a people pleaser like a lot of kids, looking for a pat on the back from family and friends. I wanted to make my parents proud, and yes, I desired to have my peers like and respect me. What kid doesn’t? I was taught to express my gratitude for others who did nice things for me by always saying “thank you” and finding a way to give something back or pay it forward, even though we didn’t use those phrases so much back then. When I first heard the term “self-gratitude” years ago, my initial thought was envisioning an egotistical but well-groomed 56 Informed People Magazine
maniac with an over inflated opinion of themselves. It kind of seemed to have a vain and selfish ring to it. Then, I had momentary mental throwback to Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live reciting his affirmations and recounting how the audience would laugh at his naivety. Yeah, that’s not me... As adults, we often go through stages in our life, some when we feel really good about ourselves, others not so good. In my late 30’s, I realized that I was struggling with my own self-confidence, and had no clue where to begin fixing it. It wasn’t that I didn’t respect myself, but as a divorced, single mom at the time, I felt if I could just do over the top, super, Wonder Woman-ish things to illustrate my worth and savvy, that would somehow magically fix me. Then I’d be just perfect and happy, right? It wasn’t until I hit my 40’s that I fully understood the importance of appreciating thy self. Unfortunately, it took a family member being diagnosed with dementia to do it. Anyone who has dealt this awful disease knows how it can completely alter a person’s personality, and that is just what happen to my ex “biggest fan.” I witnessed a mindset shift to a negative state, and gradually I could do no right.
Lanna Monday Emmett
I did a lot of inner exploration facilitated by discount bookstores where countless professional development and wellness books lined the shelves. I surrounded myself with positive people who were of a different mindset while I distanced friends that were negative or seem like their lives were in a constant tumultuous state. I felt guilty about it at first, but misery loves company, and that’s not the company I wanted to have over weekly for drinks and dinner. It was awkward and a little scary at first. At times I didn’t know if I was on the right track. I introduced new habits that would eventually contribute
