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A Beginner’s Guide to South Tyrol PART 4:
Bringing up baby, Alpine style
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I used to call it the Walk of Shame. You’re maybe hen our kids were young, 600 meters from the trailhead. You have that dogged every Saturday morning look on your reddened face as you trudge up the hill, we used to spread one trying to pretend that there’s not a screaming threeof those old-fashioned year-old firmly affixed to your lower leg. You know very topographical maps of well that you can’t make it more than a dozen meters South Tyrol out on the like this. She knows, by some perverse instinct, that table. The kids would going limp makes her all the heavier. And you both point at a random spot, know that her capacity to scream her head off will outand off we’d go. Never last your capacity to tolerate her screaming. Parents of did any one of those destinations, chosen by the jamhappy Mini Me hikers stream past, trying not to watch. sticky finger of fate, turn out to be anything less than Trying not to be amused. Trying not to judge. The local spectacular. kids, meanwhile, just seem totally confused by the very Loyal readers of my column will recall, howconcept of refusing to hike with Mommy and Daddy. ever, that the world is divided into two types of people: One beloved South Tyrolean mere mortals and South Tyroleans. family activity that my kids could Please know that this rule goes douget behind is sledding. In my New bly (nay, triply) for their offspring. “The world is divided York world, though, “sledding” It could easily happen, for exinto two types conjures up visions of a child pullample, that you meet a local family ing a plastic disc to the top of a hill while skiing and decide to enjoy a of people: mere (defined as “a naturally raised area few runs together. Feel free to do so. mortals and South of land, not as high or craggy as a But do not, I repeat, do not attempt Tyroleans.” mountain”) and descending at an to keep up with even the youngest elevated velocity, until such time as of the kids. I’ve been there. I get the grade tapers off and the speed how tempting it is. She can barely of said child slows, until they evenwalk!! How fast could she possibly be? tually come to a stop. They then repeat this process I guarantee you that it’s not going to end well. about 80 times until their noses are red and snotty. South Tyrolean kids also learn to hike before they In South Tyrol, meanwhile, the process of “sledcan walk. “That’s impossible,” I hear you saying. But ding” involves a strenuous first part: hiking up the Alpine babies learn by osmosis, spending long days in mountain. Interestingly, my children have few objecsoft infant carriers, nodding off to the expert, reassurtions to this kind of hiking. Because they love what ing, rhythmic footsteps of their hiking parents. comes afterwards: You pile your beloved progeny onto I do remember hiking with our kids in backpacks… wooden sleds with aluminum runners, and off you go but then we somehow jumped right to the age where down a long, steep, narrow trail through dense forest. they were way too heavy to carry but plenty old enough to You will undoubtedly be swiftly overtaken by a South stage a munity. Tyrolean family, who will wave at you in the most placid
T H E L O C A L M AG A Z I N E
