Synthesis Weekly – March 31, 2014

MARCH 31 2014. ALWAYS FREE. ALWAYS.

HEDWIG RETURNS LORDE LIVE | FREE TO PLAY | GOD’S NOT DEAD | THE WIND RISES

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Volume 20 Issue 32 March 31, 2014

For 20 years The Synthesis’ goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

Columns

This Week...

Letter From the Editor

Publisher/Managing Editor

by Amy Olson

amy@synthesis.net

PAGE 4

Creative Director

Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA

Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net

by Emilio Garcia-Sarnoff

PAGE 5

Productivity Wasted

by Eli Schwartz

PAGE 6

Designers

Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net

Contributing Writers PAGE 7

Supertime!

by Logan Krunieder

Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Howl, Jaime O’Neill, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Jayme Washburn, Eli Schwartz, Mona Treme, Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff, Jon Williams

Photography

logankrunieder.tumblr.com

PAGE 16

Howl

Jessica Sid Vincent Latham

Nerd

Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net

by Howl howlmovesmountains.tumblr.com

PAGE 17

Reviews

Accounting Ben Kirby

Director of Operations Karen Potter

Owner

The Wind Rises

PAGE 19

Scene Reports

Lorde & Animals as Leaders

PAGE 20

Old Crock

by Jaime O'Neill

I Got an Angry Inch

jaimeandkarenoneill@gmail.com

Nearly a decade has passed since Hedwig and the Angry Inch last took Chico by storm. Following this mysterious hiatus, you may be wondering whether she still has the 2.54 centimeters of rage it takes to bring you to your knees. Fear not—Hedwig has just become more Hedwig, and the Angry Inch has only gotten angrier and more inchy. Find out what all the fuss is about, and then get your tickets before it’s gone forever.

Kozmik Debris

PAGE 21

by Koz McKev

PAGE 8

Alex Light Alex@synthesis.net SynthesisWeekly.com/submit-yourevent/

Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti

by Zooey Mae

kozmckev@sunset.net

Entertainment Editor

Deliveries

Comical Ruminations

zooey@synthesis.net

Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net

PAGE 22

Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net The Synthesis is both owned and published

by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis.

The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@ synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 editorial@synthesis.net

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PET OF THE WEEK

Nerd Love IS THIS THING ALIVE OR DEAD?

Sl ink y and Chu bby Slinky and Chubby, are a mother and daughter duo whose guardian recently passed away. Slinky is the momma and is 7 years old, while her daughter Chubby is 3 (and she’s really not that chubby - more fur than chubb!). Both of these girls are indoor-outdoor and would do well in a home with no young kiddos. They pretty much ignore dogs, and both like to play, especially Slinky who loves to chase her tail and climb trees. Two of our volunteers conspired and are sponsoring the adoption fees for these two lovelies in hopes that they can stay together.

2579 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 (530) 343-7917 • buttehumane.org

Now Hear This SYNTHESIS WEEKLY PLAYLIST Spark Master Tape - “Syrup Splash”

Sharing a thing you really love with someone is always a sketchy situation; it forces you to see everything under a harsher light. Will they like it as much as you did? If they don’t, will it change the way you feel about them, or take away your passion for this thing that’s become a part of you?

Let me back up a bit. I was a really big fan of LOST. Like, a really big fan. Like I blogged about it, and debated on forums, and edited Lostpedia. And then I went to Oahu and toured around the filming locations. I might also have a Dharma initiative jumpsuit that says “Kate” on it that I wear whenever I work on my car.

Over the years I’ve had this exact conversation with multiple people: Me: ...it’s like on LOST, when— Them: Oh, I never got into that show (insert “I’ve been meaning to check it out,” or “I saw an episode and I had no idea what was going on”).

Tanner

Spark Master Tape - “Syrup Splash”

Howl

The Mars Volta - “Roulette Dares”

Colin

Dustin Tebbut - “Where I Find You”

Amy

Flight of the Conchords - “Most Beautiful Girl in the Room”

Tara

Christina Perri - “Bluebird”

Mike

Marvin Gaye - “Let’s Get it On”

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SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAR 31 2014

Me: Oh my God, it’s the best show of all time!

But you can’t just watch one episode, it fills in a complete picture one pixel at a time throughout the series. You have to watch it so we can talk about it. I can’t tell you anything! Except that it’s like 121 movies that are beautifully acted and written and directed, and there is so much symbolism and philosophy and science involved, and everything is woven together with all these brilliant literary references and all these common threads between world religions and island myths, and a lot of people didn’t get the end, but It was actually perfect if you paid attention and didn’t cling too hard to your

theories. It’s amazing!

The results have been mixed. This couple I was really close friends with hated it. They couldn’t even get past the Smoke without declaring it a total cop out (apparently they expected something tangible and had no patience). I was so disappointed in them.

Note the tense I used when describing the closeness of that friendship.

Another one of my very best friends watched it, and she was indifferent. For her it was just another show to marathon through while she did her normal stuff around the house. She had no theories or new perspectives, and hadn’t done any of the tangential research on the easter eggs that I had obsessed over.

I suddenly looked at it through her eyes, and I felt like she had gutted it. There it was on the ground in front of me: a bunch of pretty faces, an unusual storytelling order, and some obscure mystery that didn’t really matter. I vowed to never show her anything I cared about again, and walked away scarred.

Recently I faced my fear and got Dain to commit. It was a terrifying test of our relationship. I watched him watch every episode, agonizing over his neutral facial expression, resisting the urge to point out all the things. Finally we got to the end, and opened up the box to check on Schrödinger’s cat. It turns out Dain is awesome at LOST, he totally gets the appropriateness of that reference, and we’re going to be very, very happy. Thank. God.

Letter From the Editor

by Amy Olson

amy@synthesis.net

Who Sends Boulders Into Our Lives?

SATURDAY NIGHT WITH THE JESUS CROWD, AND THE NICEST GUY IN TOWN Saturday night. Alone, I go to see the new Christian propaganda movie God’s Not Dead. It’s LU-DI-CROUS. To me. To every other person in the auditorium (I interviewed them as they left) it was “amazing,” and “two thumbs up.”

God’s Not Dead—conceived in the la-la land where American Christians are a persecuted minority—is centered around Jesus-loving Josh, a college freshman who courageously takes on his God-hating philosophy professor.

The Professor threatens to fail the boy unless he’ll sign a declaration that God is Dead.

The audience seems to believe that’s exactly what philosophy classes are like. By the end,

The audience seems to believe that’s exactly what philosophy classes are like. (spoiler alert) the heroic boy wins over and converts the entire class (including “C-Dog,” the black kid), who stand up, one by one, and declare “God is not dead.” The Professor, on the other hand, gets hit by a car. He accepts, under the pounding rain, The Lord Jesus, just before he succumbs to his blunt force injury.

A side plot involves a godless liberal blogger who spends her days trying to ambushinterview the dude from Duck Dynasty. The blogger is promptly diagnosed with terminal cancer. Just as promptly, she gives up her cynicism and accepts Thy Lord Jesus, too, aided in her transition by real life Christian rock band “Newsboys,” who lay hands upon her.

I have a laugh attack through the entire thing.

The people around me are sobbing with joy and sorrow, laughing thunderously, and thrusting their fists into the air yelling “Amen!”

I go downtown. Wander. A drunk guy’s walking around in red underwear. I sit down with Eric Millet in front of Crazy Horse Saloon. Sorority Girls in teased hair and fishnets are arriving by the SUV-full, laughing and looking each other up and down and folding their arms against the cold. Eric is selling $5, hand-drawn, dayglow t-shirts that say “I LOVE YOU,” with a hand saying it in Sign Language, too. I buy two.

Eric has been deaf since 2001, he tells me, when his ex-wife blacked out from a seizure and crashed into a boulder in Feather River Canyon. The last thing he remembers hearing is the sound of the accident, the impact, the glass shattering. By coincidence, he tells me, he was already fluent in Sign. He had deaf friends in Jr High, and taught himself using books from the library. Now he sells art on the street. He’s popular. Every few minutes someone stops to hug him. “I enjoy doing this, this is my life, you know,” Eric says, of selling his art on the street, his voice a bit atonal in that typical deaf way. He has A-frame eyebrows sheltering bright blue eyes.

They burrow into me, watching my eyes, my expressions, my lips.

Sometimes, Eric sees people buy his art and then just throw it away down the street. “They don’t realize that if they would just treasure it, it would mean something for them, and for myself,” he tells me. Eric says a lot of awkwardly profound things like that.

Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA

by Emilio Garcia-Sarnoff

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A movie review? Really? This column is going to hell, and it’s only been active three months.

But it’s okay, the movie is about video games.

Video game Übermensch Valve Corporation, creator of extremely successful and awardwinning games, gaming platforms, game engines, gaming innovation and research, the online purchasing and downloading system Steam, massive player workshops and ingame economies, has made a movie. It’s been made for some time, in fact, considering the entirety of the thing was shot in 2011, but only recently released.

The movie is a documentary following three professional players of the game Dota 2 during the first international tournament held for the game, known creatively as “The International.”

The three players, pictured above, are, in order from top to bottom, Benedict “Hyhy” Lim, Danil “Dendi” Ishtun, and Clinton “Fear” Loomis, from Singapore, Ukraine, and the US, respectively. The tale is one of emotion and

The tale is one of emotion and suspense; all three are desperately invested to win... suspense; all three are desperately invested to win the tournament not just for the $1,000,000USD cash prize, but for their own personal desires to prove themselves and turn their lives around. Of course, a tournament is a tournament; only one can win, so watching the three of them list their sundry reasons why they need this victory can turn depressing right after two of them suddenly meet head to head in the tournament.

But the goal of the film is not just to focus 6

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAR 31 2014

on the tournament. It has aspirations of appealing to all viewers, and it does. To make sure, I brought in everyman representative Steven Schwartz, my father, who takes time out of his day to judge adjacent videogames either “silly” or “really silly.” The documentary can, at times, feel like a pitch for taking games seriously; for showing the complicated emotional angles that can intersect the technical expertise of a game, as if to say “this is a real passion.”

Sometimes it can come a little heavy with the message, with speeches from players and programmers on how time will inevitably vindicate their lifestyles, and comparisons and parallels between the massive eSports scene in Asia and the disdain for it in the West. One can’t forget, after all, that Valve, the makers of this film, are also the makers of Dota 2, and the one who put up the million dollar prize that is held up as the harbinger of gaming’s legitimacy.

Indeed, a true cynic might find the whole thing a little too neat, and claim it smells of a propaganda film from an interested party.

And despite my innate desire, as a true cynic, to do so, I won’t let myself. The film has a bit of a message, but the fact is, the message is true. I say this not just as a gamer, but as a reasoning individual who has paid attention to the massive changes that have come in gaming and professional gaming in the past few years. If the film had come out in 2011, it might have been called a film with a heavy handed message, but in 2014, it’s a piece of history, putting a microscope on the shifting prestige and power of gaming.

Productivity Wasted

by Eli Schwartz

Game of Spoilers EFFECTIVE MOTIVATION.

It’s Tuesday, March 25, and by the time you’re reading this I will either be: A) On a now-missing flight, which was probably sucked into a black hole.

B) Lost in South Korea, wandering the streets aimlessly trying to barter single issues of Watchmen for directions back to the airport. or C) Eating my weight in kimchi.

Last night I found out the hard way that watching videos of “what not to do in South Korea” is the fastest way to go from mildly stressed out to completely convinced that you’re going to accidentally make inappropriate hand gestures and insult your new sister-in-law’s family in a really unfixable way. Apparently there’s a whole slew of customs centered around drinking etiquette, and public drunkenness is a totally normal thing there. I’ve been to Mexico, Germany, and France, but South Korea seems so far removed

from anything I’ve ever experienced, I don’t really know what to expect. When I return I’m sure I’ll have a bunch of weird stories for you all, but until then, let’s catch up with what’s going on in the world, shall we?

Some teachers seem to really have a grasp on how to properly motivate students. Like any good foreign language teacher who knows that in order to get students to pay attention, all they really need to do is teach them the slang and swear words on the first day. Another shining example of an educator doing it right is a high school math teacher in Belgium who kept his class on task by threatening to reveal spoilers from the Game of Thrones novels. Nieuwsblad.be reported, “Asking his students which of them watched the fantasy drama, the majority raised their hands, to which the teacher responded: ‘Well, I’ve read all the books. If there is too much noise, I will write the names of the dead on the board. They [the dead] are enough to fill the whole year and I can even describe how

they die.’” Whatever works, right? Of course the downside is that this tactic assumes that all the kids are interested in the Game of Thrones series, and haven’t yet completed the books. It’s a good tactic nonetheless though, and could certainly be amended to include any number of series.

And lastly, for an update on my LAG, aka “life after glasses.” How come no one told me about how terrible it is to wear glasses in the rain? At least one of you should have warned me. Also, I’ve discovered that I am a very lazy glasses wearer. They are always smudged.

Does anyone have any tips for easier glasses wearing? Help me, I’m inept!

Comical Ruminations

by Zooey Mae

zooey@synthesis.net

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 7

BY AMY OLSON

On August 13th, 1961, a wall was erected down the middle of the city of Berlin.

The world was divided by a cold war and the Berlin Wall was the most hated symbol of that divide Reviled. Graffitied. Spit upon.

We thought the wall would stand forever, and now that it's gone, we don't know who we are anymore.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Hedwig is like that wall, standing before you in the divide between East and West, Slavery and Freedom, Man and Woman, Top and Bottom.

And you can try to tear her down, but before you do, you must remember one thing...

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SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAR 31 2014

M

ore than just theatre, more than just a rock show— Hedwig and the Angry Inch walks the line between both mediums like a six foot tall transgender-diva in high heeled boots, utterly transcending their limits.

From the very first explosion of sound and light, you know something has changed. There’s no more outside world, no more yesterday or tomorrow, just this. The band is a force from the very first note, and little Yitzhak belts out words that cut through the bedlam like a knife, but they are clearly building to something.

In the midst of this frenzied, thrashing music, Hedwig herself blows in like a hail storm: glittering and hard and thunderous.

She straddles the mic stand, her blonde wig pinned back in victory rolls that frame the vicious lines of her eyebrows, and she screams like a valkyrie into the emptiness.

THIS IS NOT THE BLUE ROOM AS YOU ONCE KNEW IT This is a seedy little nightclub in smalltown nowhere, and it is HERS. She wears the armor of the jaded, the wisdom of disappointment and heartbreak like a cold steel breastplate, and she hurls her story at you like an accusation. She knows you’re there to laugh at her, to look at the freakshow, or maybe to indulge your secret, lustful fantasies. You want her? She dares you—just try to tear her down.

The room is thick with the tension of this challenge, and prickling with anticipation. For a moment you question your intentions, a tiny war within yourself pitting your empathy against your appetite for spectacle. A rift splits us each down the middle, as we realize we came for both. We want to

understand her, and we want a goddamn shit-show. She has us right in the palm of her hand.

And there is more to this East German Amazon than sex and fury. Cracks in the shell form when she says a certain name: Tommy Gnosis.

We all know the name—his story is her story—a car, a bus full of deaf children, and a fiery crash that splattered sensational headlines on the front page of the whole world. The mug shot of a troubled rock star clinging to his career, and a mysterious woman who grimaces oddly in the margins. A comeback tour, and her in the shadows.

He means something to her, something massive and complicated. She kicks open the side door to let his voice drift in. It fills her, then turns to poison.

BUT TO UNDERSTAND THAT AGONY, WE NEED TO KNOW HEDWIG We need to know a little boy named Hansel who grew up on the wrong side of the Berlin Wall, on the wrong side of gender and power and understanding. We need to know loneliness and abandonment, and a strange, cold mother who would give you her own name just to be free of you.

When night comes, we need to live with the memories of how it felt to lay with our head in the oven, singing along to American GI radio until that woman called out, “Well, that’s me!” and it was time to curl up next to her on the hard wooden pallet that served as a bed.

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 9

We need to know the blessed sweet rush of the first power that ever slid across our tongue, and say the name “Luther” a thousand ways until we know the truth. Luther: the first man to ever offer kindness, then take everything in return. The man who would dress her in velvet and ermine, and ask for her body to bleed under a back-alley surgeon’s blade. For him she would be mutilated, and wind up with nothing but her wits, her wigs, and one angry inch of flesh. For Hedwig, there were so many sacrifices.

WE CALLED IT LOVE Hedwig spent her whole life searching for her other half, the mythical soulmate split from her by the jealous gods in the days when we were whole beings.

Last time I saw you We had just split in two.

You were looking at me.

I was looking at you.

You had a way so familiar, But I could not recognize, Cause you had blood on your face; I had blood in my eyes.

But I could swear by your expression That the pain down in your soul Was the same as the one down in mine.

That’s the pain, Cuts a straight line Down through the heart; We called it love.

But it was never Luther. He may have ripped her life in two— ripped everything that made her Hansel away and then left her all alone in a trailor park in Junction City, Kansas—but her heart and his were never locked like puzzle pieces.

It was Tommy Gnosis. Tommy who took the best of her; Tommy 10

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAR 31 2014

who sings her songs and tells her stories like they were his all along; Tommy who she knew and loved and opened herself to completely, and then he just walked away. As if he could just do that.

And the loss is everything she has left at this point. She is ruthlessly Hedwig, painfully Hedwig, gloriously Hedwig. She struts and teases, demands our reactions, sings the fucked up bitter truth about everything and brings the room to its knees along with her.

What more can I possibly say about Hedwig and the Angry Inch? The music will reach into you, pull your still-beating heart up to its lips, and take a great big bite. This is the show everyone is talking about. This is the show Chico has been waiting ten years for, and it’s only here for a limited time… whether we like it or not.

Hedwig and the Angry Inch Directed by Jeremy Votava Starring: Matt Hammons as Hedwig Gina Tropea as Yitzhak Maurice Spencer as Skszp Clint Bear as Schlatko and Kirt Lind as Jacek Blue Room Theatre, 139 W 1st St. Downtown Chico Runs March 27 – April 12 Thursdays 7:30pm, $13 in advance, $15 at the door Fridays and Saturdays 7:30pm, $18 in advance, $20 at the door Fridays and Saturdays 11pm, $13 in advance, $15 at the door Tickets available at blueroomtheatre.com and Lyon Books

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DANCE NIGHT DJ SPENNY & JEFF HOWSE

THE PUB SCOUTS 337 Main St.

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Call To Rent For Private Party Go DownLo

BEAR WEAR! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear.

MUG CLUB 4-10PM

Happy Hour 11-6PM select bottles & drafts $2.75

$2 All Day $2 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts $2 Kamis -any flavor

TRIKE RACES! Post time @ 10pm.

Win T-shirts and Bear Bucks.

MUG CLUB 4-10PM

All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3 All Day

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.29.

11am-10pm.

Happy Hour 11-6PM $2.75 select bottles & drafts

LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY $4.99!

Mon-Sat 10pm - 1am.

LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY $4.99!

Mon-Sat 10pm - 1am.

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.29.

11am-10pm.

CLOSED

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm

GAME NIGHT 9-11PM $3.50 Sky Vodka Cocktails

2 FOR 1 BURGERS ALL DAY !!

MINORS WELCOME!

$2 Margaritas $3 Cuervo Marqis $2.50 Corona’s & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM $1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $2 wells

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Happy Hour 4 - 7pm

Progressive Night!

8-10PM $1 Sierra Pale Ale, Domestics, Rolling Rock & well cocktails up 10PM-close 25¢ per hour-close Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM

Closed

Buck Night 8-close $1 well cocktails, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Rolling Rock, dom draft $3 Black Butte $4 Vodka Redbull

Closed

$3 Hot Licks $4 151 Party Punch 22oz 8-9PM $1 pale ale and dom draft up 25¢ per hour until close $6.50 Apple Cinnamon Cider

Closed

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!

1/2 OFF EVERYTHING!!!

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm

FRIDAY APRIL 4TH

Happy Hour 4 - 7pm

Free Happy Hour Food 4PM until it's gone

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm

Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts (excludes pitchers) 9PM-Close $3 Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pale Pitchers

POWER 102 VIP NIGHT Open at 9PM

Happy Hour 11-6PM select wells, bottles and pints $2.75

Happy Hour- 4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-8pm Most food items and pitchers of beer are $5

$4 Sex On The Beach $4 Sierra Nevada Knightro ON TAP $1 Jello Shots 7-10PM $3 Fireball

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials

Hot "Dawgs" ALL DAY!

Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM $1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $2 wells Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts (excludes pitchers) 9-Close Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pale Pitchers

BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available!

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$4 World Famous Bloody Joe $5 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!!

Happy Hour 4-8pm

Open 11am to 9pm Sunday Brunch - 11-2pm $3 Champagne with entree.

Champagne Brunch and SPORTS!

WATCH GIANTS VS DODGERS

DRINK SPECIALS $3 SIERRA & DOMESTIC PINTS

9pm - Close $2 12oz Teas $3 20oz Teas $2 Well, Dom Bottles & bartender Specials $5 Vodka Red Bull

$2 16oz Wells

vs

8-CLOSE $5 BLASTERS

134 BROADWAY ST. | 530.893.5253

BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available!

Call for reservation 898-9898

Call for reservation 898-9898 Open at 9PPM

GAME NIGHT BINGO/TRIVIA

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WEDNESDAY 9-11PM FREE TO PLAY PRIZES!

SKYY SPECIALS ALL NIGHT

10% OFF WITH STUDENT ID BEFORE 8PM

OPEN THUR-SAT 9PM // 132 E. 2ND STREET // 530.898.9898

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This Week Only...

BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT

Tuesday, April 1st

Saturday, April 5th

MERRY STANDISH COMEDY

‘PERMEATE’ ART RECEPTION

DUFFY’S

$2 BEER CANS

NAKED LOUNGE

Liz Merry and Aaron Standish come together to host their 37th Annual April Fools’ Day show. Our very own Bob Howard will be making his comedic debut! Some madman named Roland Allen will be accompanying them with piano! Advance tickets are available at Duffy’s. $10, 7:30pm.

CSUC Alumni and Chikoko genius Christina Seashore debuts all new work through the 30th of April. Permeate showcases all-pencil pieces reminiscent of the human form, and forms of the psyche. Lish Bills will be playing at 8, and there’s probably going to be free beer. Free, 7-9pm.

Friday, April 4th

Sunday, April 6th ROB SMITH’S 40TH!

4TH ANNUAL DRAG BALL

229 BROADWAY ST, CHICO, CA

1078 GALLERY

1078 GALLERY

Butte College’s Gender & Sexuality Aliance is hosting their 4th annual drag party! This time the theme is ye olde masquerade. There will be an amateur drag contest for the pioneering souls who’re ready to strut their stuff. Come in masks and costumes, or just arrive as you are. Admission is $5 for CSUC and Butte students, $7 for everyone else. 7:30pm.

This beloved Chico native isn’t the singer for The Cure, but he IS a sweetheart who’s bringing great music and people together: Specifically, Donald Beaman & The Spirit Molecules, The Chrome, Genders (from OR), and Bran Crown.

Get ready for lusciousness, sultry looks, Rob, and you. Someone better bring pizza too. $5, 8pm.

Other new and exciting things!

31 Monday

t h g i N e e i d La own the night

thursdays

Sierra Nevada Big Room: Leftover Salmon 2014. $30, 7:30pm

Lost On Main: Cammies Funk/ Jam Showcase. $5, 9pm Maltese: Cammies Indie/Experimental Showcase, ft. French Reform, Sisterhoods, and more. $5, 9pm Senator: Markus Schulz, ft.

Khomha. $25, 8pm

3 Thursday

4 Friday

Sierra Nevada Big Room: Leftover Salmon 2014. $30, 7:30pm

1 Tuesday

Cafe Coda: Cammies Metal Showcase, ft. Touch Fuzzy Get Dizzy and Sorin. $5, 7-9pm Downtown Chico: Thursday Night Market begins! 6-9pm LaSalles: Cammies Blues Showcase. Free, 5:30-9pm

Cafe Coda: Cammies Folk/Country Showcase. $5, 9pm The Crystal Room (Quackers): Comedy Night, ft. four quality stand-up acts. $10 adv., $12 door, 7:30pm DownLo: Cammies World Music

EAT. DRINK. PLAY. 229 BROADWAY ST, CHICO, CA 14

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAR 31 2014

Find Out How you Can Play Pool for Only $1/Day!

Showcase, ft. Los Caballitos de la Cancion. $5, 6pm LaSalles: Cammies Rap Showcase. $5, 10pm Lost On Main: Afrolicious, Wolfthump. 9pm Peeking: Cammies Electronic Showcase, hosted by Bassmint. $2 before 10pm, $3 after. 9:30pm

5 Saturday

Chico Eagles Lodge: Lacy J. Dalton, ft. after party and dancing. $30 or 2 for $50, 8pm-12am Chico Grange Hall: Spring Swing, ft. Ha’Penny Bridge and RHR Jazz Trio. $8, 6pm

Lost On Main: Fishbone, Pyrx. $15, 8pm Maltese: Cammies Singer-Songwriter Showcase and Jazz Showcase. $5 for both, 3pm & 6pm Monstros: Cammies Punk Showcase, ft. every Chico punk band. $5 donation, 4pm Rowland-Taylor CSUC: 16th Kruschke Piano Competition. Free, 12pm

6 Sunday

Sierra Nevada Big Room: Summerfest Release Party SOLD OUT, 6-9:30pm

LESSONS, LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS! GREAT FOOD! LIVE MUSIC! 319 Main Street (530) 892-2473

Ongoing Events 31 Monday

100th Monkey: Happy Healing Hour: variety of healing modalities offered to the public. Donations accepted, 5:30pm The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm Cafe Flo: Jazz Happy Hour ft. Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm Chico Womens Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender.

7pm. All ages until 10pm Maltese: Open Mic Comedy or Music, alternates every week. Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm The Tackle Box: Latin Dance Classes. Free, 7-9pm Turner Print Museum: “Angles and Plains” Art Exhibition.

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

1 Tuesday

100th Monkey: Fusion Belly Dance class with BellySutra. $8/class or $32/month. 7pm Cafe Flo: Open Mic with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm Chico Women’s Club: Yoga.

9-10am. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm.

Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10.

7:30-8:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+ DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pm Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi and Friends. 7-9pm Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-10pm.

LaSalles: ’90s night. 21+ Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke.

8:30pm-1am The Tackle Box: Karaoke, 9pm Turner Print Museum: “Angles and Plains” Art Exhibition.

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

Woodstocks: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm

2 Wednesday

100th Monkey: Open Mic. All ages.

7pm The Bear: Trike Races. Post time 10pm Cafe Flo: Live Jazz, 5-7pm Chico Women’s Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm DownLo: Wednesday night jazz.

8 Ball Tournament, signups 6pm, starts 7pm Duffy’s: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. $1, 9pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome.

9-10:30am Panamas: Bar Swag Bingo/Trivia Night. 9-11pm The Maltese: Friends With Vinyl!

Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable.

9pm-1am The Tackle Box: Line Dance classes.

Free, 5:30-7:30pm. Swing Dance classes. Free, 7:30-9:30pm Turner Print Museum: “Angles and Plains” Art Exhibition.

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana.

7-9pm Woodstock’s: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm

3 Thursday

The Beach: DJ Mack Morris.

10:30pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. Free, 9pm Cafe Flo: Delta Blues Project w.

Porkchop Holder. 7-10pm Blue Room: Hedwig & The Angry Inch. $13-$20, 7:30pm Chico Yoga Center: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson. 7:30-9:30pm

LIFE IN CHICO

DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective.

8-11pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Has Beans: Open Mic Night.

7-10pm. Signups start at 6pm Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke.

8pm-midnight LaSalles: Free live music on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close Panamas: Buck night and DJ Eclectic & guests on the patio. 9pm Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-1am Turner Print Museum: “Angles and Plains” Art Exhibition.

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic performance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm.

No Cover.

Woodstock’s: Open Mic Night

4 Friday

100th Monkey: Acoustic Music Singer Songwriter Showcase.

7:30pm The Beach: DJ2k & Mack Morris.

9pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. Free, 9pm Blue Room: Hedwig & The Angry Inch. $13-$20, 7:30pm, 11pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. 11am Chico Yoga Center: Friday Night Dance Jam with Mark Johnson. $10. 7-8:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays, the best country, rock, oldies, 80s & top 40. Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm DownLo: ½ off pool. All ages until 10pm. Live Music, 8pm Duffy’s: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour.

4-7pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party.

8pm-midnight LaSalles: Open Mic night on the

patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Happy hour with live jazz

by Bogg. 5-7pm. LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm Panamas: Jigga Julee, DJ Mah on the patio. 9pm Peeking: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $3. 9:30pm Sultan’s Bistro: Bellydance Performance. 6:30-7:30pm Turner Print Museum: “Angles and Plains” Art Exhibition.

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

SICILIAN CAFÉ

5 Saturday

The Beach: DJ Mah. 9pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover.

9pm Blue Room: Hedwig & The Angry Inch. $13-$20, 7:30pm, 11pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Dancing. 10pm-1:30am DownLo: 9 Ball tournament.

Signups at noon, starts at 1pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: 70s and 80s music. 8pm-midnight LaSalles: 80’s Night. 8pm-close Panamas: DJ Eclectic on the patio.

9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

6 Sunday

Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. Free-style dance wave, $8-$15 sliding scale.

10am-12:30pm DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pm LaSalles: Karaoke. 9pm Maltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm. Trivia 8pm Tackle Box: Karaoke, 8pm

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On The Town 16

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAR 31 2014

by logan kruidenier - logankruidenier.tumblr.com

Solitary Cosmonaut ART BY ASHARAH WOLFSONG “Just twelve lines more,” Rayna murmured, as she combed the desert of her mind for inspiration. Different ideas dotted the mental landscape; the clear ones were tall and spiny like the saguaro, while the real treasures, those ideas that could change the world, were hidden beneath the sand like shy desert mice. Rayna yawned as she typed, and her desert fell from day to night. She took a drink of water and a flash of rain skimmed across the sand, which was now coming alive with all the scurrying and screeching of a desert’s nocturnal culture. “Ah, yes! Of course!”

She said with a smile, as her typewritten musings pushed finally past the mundane into the inspired, into the kind of ideas that would make her famous back home; it was adventure, love, and discovery; it was— A shrill beeping sounded from another console, jerking Rayna out of her flowering reverie—”Terrestrial Scanner No. 1 compromised: Investigate immediately,” read the offending screen.

With a sigh, she heaved herself up from the desk and walked through the station to its entrance. The shrill beeping continued at regular intervals, but Rayna didn’t appear to notice, as she slowly donned her suit, loose hair tucked carelessly into the helmet. Weeks had passed since she’d caught a brain-wave like that while writing, and the associations and implications still fluttered through her mind.

The station’s entrance hissed open, and she set off across the empty, alien landscape of her ten-year assignment. It was a three mile walk to Terrestrial Scanner No. 1. “Three years in,” Rayna said. “Has it been worth it?” She had no answer, not yet. The desired result of this job seemed inevitable, though—she would surely uncover some quality writing within herself, surrounded by endless amounts of empty space and more time than she knew what to do with. “So where is it?” She asked herself. “Three years, and I’ve barely written a haiku!”

To be fair, Rayna hadn’t quite reckoned with the relentless grind of living out here by herself, where rocks, craters, and the wheeling stars were her only company. The initial excitement of living on an alien planet had dissipated, and every day now held the enormous challenge of simply continuing to

Terrestrial Scanner No. 1 compromised: Investigate immediately exist. Why should she? That was the question looming larger all the time: Why should she keep existing? In dreams, she found her meaning: she found freedom; she could visit old friends, old places.

She often thought that death would be a great way to dream forever, to bid a final farewell to this desolate outpost. “But today could be different,” Rayna thought. “Today I very nearly wrote something! These dreams… they’re growing more vivid, and I can very nearly hear what they’re trying to say. One more day! I’ll give it one more day.” Her resolution gave a renewed vigor to her steps.

Howl

by Howl howlmovesmountains.tumblr.com

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

On The Town

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 17

THE WIND RISES

by Howl

Miyazake’s purported last film as writer and director is something of a heropic about Japanese airplane designer Jiro Horikoshi. In this telling of his life, he’s not just a chainsmoking tech nerd in ‘30s Japan, he’s also a chivalrous knight, a multi-linguist, an amateur singer, and an unabashed optimist. Besides this, The Wind Rises is also a period piece; audiences will be honored with a graceful rendition of Japan as it was before the Second World War. You’ll see a wedding ceremony, rustic landscapes, awesome kimonos, and the slow trend of Westernization as the Japanese realized how behind they were technologically (the fashion subtly becomes more western and urban the further into the movie you go).

The film’s execution is masterful; a magnum opus of music and animation that reaches Beethoven-esque heights. Every scene holds an unsurpassed amount of detail that causes it to live and breathe. There’s heartbreakingly beautiful panoramas of Japan’s natural beauty as it rushes past a train’s window. There’s the magic of a biplane engine putputting to life, a cloud of smoke exploding out from it, then dissipating. Even the most ordinary moments (like the large amount of time spent watching Jiro writing at his work desk) are drawn and executed with such reverence that you can’t help but jump into his head and imagine that you’re there with him. Indeed, this film is undoubtedly a culmination of

18

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAR 31 2014

everything Studio Ghibli has been aiming for through the past decades. Never before have Miyazake’s feelings and ideas been so flawlessly expressed through visual media.

The Wind Rises probably won’t have the commercial success of Princess Mononoke or Spirited Away, chiefly because of the chosen subject matter: Not only is the life of an airplane engineer, even tied in with tales of love and loss, a bit boring, but the fact that his crowning achievement ends up being to help make the Japanese Pearl Harbor planes makes this film even more dubious.

Hopefully audiences will see through these off-putting traits to the magic that is coursing throughout. The awkwardness of the almost pro-war subject matter contains within it the issues being faced by Jiro Horikoshi himself: He is a dreamer and artist above all other things, and wants only to create beautiful airplanes. He lives in a depressed, confused era of his nation, but persists in dreaming and creating. The director makes it clear that, more than creating engines of destruction, Jiro was giving hope to a nation that was drowning in the tides of war and technological innovation. “When reality becomes impossible,” Miyazake seems to say, “you must dream, and then you must live.”

Lorde

BY ALEX LIGHT FOX THEATER, OAKLAND - MARCH 27TH, 2014

This girl was superb. Her sultry mezzosoprano voice was simultaneously chilled and passionate; her black lipstick touched off a taste for the gothic I didn’t know I had. The subtly tasteful rhythms were brought into theatrical light by a fantastic live drummer.

Lorde thrashed and flailed up a storm, as if to break through the inertia of thousands of kids too glued to their iPhones to move themselves.

I’m not sure the bulk of her fans understand Lorde—why they like her, why she’s so twitchy and weird. It was probably the first live concert ever attended for half the audience. Here is found one of the many charms of this whole experience: it isn’t clear Lorde understands herself either, or why her music resonates so strongly with so many. She’s a 17-year-old stepping into a brand new era of personal existence, and she’s taking the hand of every other young one out there to say, “We’ll do this together.”

If I sometimes wondered what I was doing there, trying to dance in a sea of teenagers who didn’t know what dancing was, the beginning of each new song recalled me to my joyful purpose. It’s a testament to her debut Pure Heroine that the first notes of every song inspired a rousing cheer from the crowd; every song on the album holds the feeling of “This is it! This is why I’m here! THIS song!” And Lorde herself certainly felt the same way, throwing herself with complete sincerity into just about

every song she’s released to date. My personal highlight was how she opened the set: walking onstage by herself in strikingly simple slacks and wifebeater, then rocking “Glory & Gore.”

This gangster-pop song about being a badass female segued awesomely into the lesserknown “Biting Down”: a brooding, stoney, almost tribal anthem that’s much more about the feeling than the words.

I suppose I should mention the first band at least once, although I really just want to wax worshipful on how hot Lorde is—that lion’s mane of bushy Hermione-hair just makes me swoon! The opening act Lo-Fang had apprently been discovered by Lorde herself, and were tonight playing their 18th show ever.

This three-piece, while standing frustratingly in the way of everyone’s real reason for being present, was actually really good. Violins, guitars, beats and keyboards formed a rich, natural landscape highlighting the singer’s breathy pop vocals. They obviously adored Andrew Bird, and not having seen him live yet, Lo-Fang was a passable substitute.

Anyway, this show was worth every penny (and I spent many). I still have my confetti bits, individually printed with the popstar’s profile.

Lorde is indisputably the Queen Bee, and will remain so for a long while.

Animals as Leaders After The Burial, and More...

BY CROWN THE ASSEMBLY MUSIC HALL, SACRAMENTO - MARCH 27TH, 2014

This was my first time at Sacramento’s spiffy new venue on K street. Myself and a ragtag group of fellow travelers all made the southbound sojourn to see the one and only Animals As Leaders, who put the tour together in celebration of their new album The Joy Of Motion, which is VERY good, by the way.

We missed the first band, Salythia, but got there just in time for Chon. While sporting small, combo amplifiers and Hawaiian flowered shirts, these instrumental virtuosos took us through warm, fuzzy, prog-metal.

Although each song felt like the same thing with different shred, it was still beautiful shred. Sweet, impeccably groovy, and flawlessly played. I wish they would’ve smiled more, but the bassist was great—he was obviously having fun, and I had fun watching him. Chon were a great warm-up, and the crowd loved it.

Next up was the one man rhythm machine, NaveneK, who happens to be AAL’s previous drummer. His setup was simple: a pad and computer for managing the electronic music he had produced, plus himself on a drum kit.

NaveneK took the crowd on a head-bobbing, shoulder-shaking electronic dance journey through trap, dubstep, breakbeat, trance, and hip hop. It was a stretch to get this metal crowd to dance, but he’d drive people bonkers at something like Bassmint. He got people moving by the last song—a major accomplishment. The man is an incredible drummer, and happens to make really good dance music. I loved it.

After The Burial, from Minneapolis, brought the fucking house down. They were, by far, the evening’s peak in crowd-energy, and they had the room jumping for 45 minutes— straight. The only vocalist of the night fueled an excellent connection with the crowd, while the rest of the band sonically crushed the room with bright neon-tinted 8-string guitars.

The room was an ocean of movement and everyone was loving it, jumping and crashing like waves against their fellow homo-sapiens.

It had been a fun, weird night, and soon enough came the men of the evening: Animals As Leaders. This was the fourth or fifth time seeing these guys, and it was definitely the best. Now they have 10x10 LED screens displaying imaginative seas of color and design that accompany the futuristic, creative metal that they love to play. AAL is known to let their visuals capture the attention of the crowd, while they focus on the intense, technical music they’re playing, but that night the three piece had the most fun I’ve ever seen them have. Huge grins, shouldershakes and headbanging let me know that they are really coming to enjoy the music they write. When the crowd wasn’t standing in captivated awe at the brilliant displays of light and instrumental prowess, they engaged in jumping frenzies. It was a flawless set, spiced with various guitars that were just as much works of art as the music.

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 19

The Tip of the Penis BEING STRUCK IN THE CROTCH WITH FLAMING HOT METAL IS AN INTERESTING EXPERIENCE, BUT ONE I WOULD RECOMMEND AVOIDING.

The week seemed like it was already going badly enough when I shot a chunk of flaming metal into my crotch. The metal, traveling at high velocity, impacted right on the tip of my penis, and it hurt very badly. This was a unique and acute type of pain. It nearly brought me to my knees, but instead I jog-limped into the house and pulled down my pants to inspect the damage. There was a welt. Once I saw that nothing was split, severed, or crushed, the pain quickly subsided.

To explain—I was using an angle grinder to shorten some bolts. One of the cut bolt ends spun around in the grinding blade and ended up shooting straight back into my groin. It was a one in a million shot, and it was a direct hit.

It shook me up. I was wearing ear muffs and eye goggles to protect my hearing and vision. I had never thought before about metal flinging into my penis. They absolutely did not go over that in the welding class I took, I definitely would have remembered.

Storm of Tragedy I’m not even going to get into the ongoing series of tragedies that have been hitting right here in our North State community.

We’re losing friends, neighbors, relatives, and four-legged companions at an alarming rate. Personal loss has even struck here at the

On The Town 20

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAR 31 2014

We sigh and shrug our shoulders and take a deep breath before carrying on, because what else can we do?

Double Happiness Farm, where the flags have been flying at half-mast for going on three weeks now. I’m not ready yet to write about it in any detail, but Archie the puppy’s stomach ailment I mentioned last week turned out to be fatal. We buried the sweet little guy last Thursday. It’s a tumultuous time when the world seems to be revealing just how cruel it can really be. If you are in it you know, and if you aren’t, you don’t want to know.

Back to the Issue in Hand...

I guess the penis is sort of like the tongue tissue in that it heals fast. Within an hour the pain was easy to ignore; after three there was only a pea-sized purple bruise left to illuminate the event. Right now it feels weird, but not painful. I don’t know how else to describe it. Still, as novel as the experience has been, it’s not something I could recommend.

The winds are picking up and the clouds gathering. It looks like it could rain at any moment. It’s tempting to close the doors and the drapes and sequester myself in the house while the physical and emotional storms pass by overhead; but a friend of mine said it best when she recommended instead that we run wild and live actively, keeping in mind that life is a fleeting thing. Moments lost can never be reclaimed.

So we grieve, and eventually we start to remember, and to smile and laugh a little bit.

We sigh and shrug our shoulders and take a deep breath before carrying on, because what else can we do?

Immaculate Infection

by Bob Howard Madbob@madbob.com

Buddhism for Dummies A COLUMN FOR THE DAY BEFORE TOMORROW

A couple of friends up in Paradise recently hosted a roving band of Buddhist monks who swept through town offering spiritual healing to people whose spirits were afflicted. In times like these, whose spirits aren’t a little unhealthy, what with all the stuff aimed at damaging our spirits, from modified foodstuffs that weaken the body’s immune system to the cultural and political swill that poisons our souls?

My friends—I’ll call them Julianna and Allen (not their real names)—are sweet and decent people, though Allen is known to dress up in plaid skirts some weekends, and Julianna has a very over-the-top relationship with the couple’s little dog, Oliver (not his real name).

Aside from those peculiarities, however, they’re fairly normal, doing what they can to make their way through life with dignity and decency.

So it was hard to turn down their invitation to get myself repaired by these traveling Buddhist monks.

But I just couldn’t go. I’d had bad experiences with Buddhist monks during my youth when I was in a street gang back in my Illinois hometown. There was a rival gang of Buddhist monks (the Dharma Bums) who were constantly encroaching on our turf, and the rumbles we had became legendary.

Woe unto you if those Buddhist monks caught you alone. They had this thing they’d do where they’d ask you to solve various riddles (“what’s the sound of one hand clapping?” was one of their favorites), and when you gave the wrong answer, they’d go upside your head. And the trick was that there was never a right answer. I must have taken a hundred blows to the head, all because I sincerely tried to come up with the correct insight.

They had lots of those riddles (they’re called koans, and they can give you a headache even if you don’t have some Buddhist gangsta thumping you every time you give the wrong answer) and they were a major trauma of my troubled youth until that great day I snuck into the Dharma Bums’ lair and found the answer key to the koan questions.

I was immediately surrounded by a pack of surly monks, and I was ready for them.

I studied it until I’d committed all the answers to memory, and then I wandered over to the Buddhist gang’s turf, just hoping to get jumped.

I was immediately surrounded by a pack of surly monks, and I was ready for them. You never saw such crestfallen individuals in your life. One after another, I supplied answers to their questions. “What is Buddha?” “Does a dog have Buddha nature?” “What was my face before my mother and father were born?”

By the time I had offered them answers to all the questions they could think of, they were ready to make me the leader of their gang, despite our obvious ethnic differences (Buddhists are often pretty good that way.)

I turned ‘em down, however, because my ears were still ringing from all the times I’d failed their tests. I also took a pass on my friends’ recent invite to get myself healed. At my age, I’m just too broke to fix.

Old Crock

by Jaime O'Neill jaimeandkarenoneill@gmail.com

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

On The Town

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 21

MARCH 31, 2014

BY KOZ MCKEV

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Know your limits without having to be ruled by them.

You should find ways to compromise between your desires and other peoples wishes. The week begins strong for you with the moon in Aries Monday. Stubborn personalities may hinder your progress on Wednesday and Thursday. This weekend you may find it more rewarding to stick close to home. Allow yourself some projects that give you a sense of genuine inspiration. Your imagination gets richer. Sleep becomes more important.

The moon will be in Taurus Tuesday and Wednesday.

Do things to make good karma on these days. Sudden accidents, explosions and overly confident moves may give you a chance to help pick up the pieces. Seek things that will bring you better health. You’re likely to be attracted to alternative medicine like acupuncture and chiropractics. Pay attention to what your dreams have to say. If these were your last days on earth, what would you like to be remembered for?

Having fun is easier than usual. Good friends and good times are easier than ever for you to find.

Thursday through early Saturday afternoon the moon will be in Gemini.

Invitations to go out, meet people, or to be part of a future planning will come to you. The rest of the weekend it would be best for you to lay low and to assess your finances.

Don’t try to top someone else’s reckless behavior.

When you push your luck, sometimes your luck pushes back. Stay mellow.

Performance pressure is on you like never before.

People expect you to rise up, lead the troops, and be an inspiration to all at the same time. Keep working on issues you have with your children, lovers and creative process. Know that romantic relationships can change how you come across to others.

By Saturday afternoon you’ll be feeling more like your old self with the moon in Cancer.

Prioritize the things that are important to you with the things that are good for the whole community.

You’re getting to benefit from your past lessons.

You are in a luckier cycle where good things happen to those who take chances.

Do things differently. Try to learn in a new way. Travel and education will go good for you during this cycle. Be more open to other people’s philosophies. Practice random acts of kindness.

Welcome the detour rather than becoming frustrated.

You’ll be in the public eye for much of this week. Put on your best face and practice being humble.

We are not in control. At times this can be extremely frustrating. Being defensive won’t win you any points. Just pretend that the other person is right, and allow others to own their power no matter how ignorant they seem.

Tuesday and Wednesday are your best days for getting things done. When you need help don’t be afraid to ask.

There are more people willing to help you than you may think. Stay involved in prayer, meditation and magic. Much of what happens may be out of your control.

Libra

Scorpio

Saggitarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Be the blessed peace maker that you are meant to be.

Much involves negotiation.

You feel a certain internal energy upwelling from within you. Issues that began in January may need to be looked at again. The weekend looks good for travel and education. Buy yourself some different work clothes. Be ready to deal with some erratic confrontations.

Take time to work on personal health issues. Make good karma for yourself by helping out a charitable cause. On Sunday, take care of responsibilities.

Move slowly and maturely, yet in a timely manner. Pace yourself, as you have quite a bit of work to accomplish.

Work in the manner of a true team player. Charitable causes may need your help.

Pay attention to small pets, aunts, uncles, as well as the people you work with.

Improve upon the services that you offer. Be good to yourself and monitor personal health issues. Get organized and eliminate whatever isn’t necessary.

Your creative mojo gets a burst over the weekend.

Good times and parties appear to be calling you.

You have a second wind when it comes to creative energy. What you want to do may be hindered by the wishes of others. You are better at suggesting than you are at dictating. Monday begins with a good dose of fun. The rest of the week is oriented towards hard work and negotiations. By the weekend things will begin to ease up for you. Faith and discipline are the backbone to your success. Be the kind of person that you would like to follow.

We would be nothing if it weren’t for our parents and grandparents. We are resting on the accomplishments of our elders, that we might fulfill our own desires and ambitions. Know your roots and honor your heritage.

Tuesday through Wednesday are best for creative projects and dealing with love issues.

You’ll make a certain amount of progress this week. You are motivated and ready to lead others. Share your goals and views on the future with others. Pace yourself, as you’ll be staying busy.

Tune into your local environment. Get to know your neighbors on a first name basis. Learn to be friendly toward people who might oppose you. Know that we learn more from our failures than we do from our successes. Friday is a good day for you to indulge in some creative project. On Saturday you could make some money for just having fun. Keep a journal. Write about the things that thrill you, as well as the things that get you off track. Sunday looks good for housework as well as business plans.

What are you trying to save? What does the word “preservation” mean to you?

This is a time to activate your values. Put your money where your mouth is. Do you care enough about a cause to skip a few drinks in order to see its success? Are fat free cookies enough to help you stay healthy or lose weight?

Commitment isn’t measured in lip service, but rather it is made known through your actions. You feel more relaxed and more beautiful

by Saturday, when Venus enters Pisces.

Koz McKev is on YouTube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.1FM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horoscopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net

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SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAR 31 2014