Synthesis Weekly – May 5, 2014

MAY 5 2014. ALWAYS FREE. EXCEPT THAT ONE TIME.

ANTHONY PEYTON PORTER TALKING FROM THE EDGE STRIPPED BARE PART II | EARLY ACCESS GAMING | LIFE IN THE TIME OF ALLERGY SEASON

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Volume 20 Issue 37 May 5, 2014

This Week...

Anthony Peyton Porter For many readers of CNR’s back page, the usually interesting and edgy world views expressed there took an oddly real estate-y turn in recent weeks. Did Anthony Peyton Porter trade in his curmudgeon card for striped highlights? What happened?

For 20 years The Synthesis’ goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

Columns Letter From the Editor

Publisher/Managing Editor

by Amy Olson

amy@synthesis.net

PAGE 4

Creative Director

Immaculate Infection

Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net

by Bob Howard

Madbob@madbob.com

PAGE 5

Productivity Wasted

by Eli Schwartz

PAGE 6

PAGE 7

Supertime!

by Logan Kruidenier

PAGE 16

Old Crock

by Koz McKev

PAGE 17

PAGE 10

Kozmik Debris

Cover Photo: Carolina Rios

Jessica Sid Vincent Latham

Nerd

Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net

jaimeandkarenoneill@gmail.com

kozmckev@sunset.net

Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Howl, Jaime O’Neill, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Jayme Washburn, Eli Schwartz, Mona Treme, Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff, Jon Williams

Photography

logankruidenier.tumblr.com

Peer even deeper into the exposed backside of the world of Centerfolds, in this second installment of our Exotic Adventures Special Report. Learn the surprising and sometimes tragic circumstances that brought these women to the profession of baring all, and what they think about trading in fantasy.

Designers

Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net

Contributing Writers

zooey@synthesis.net

by Jaime O'Neill

Alex Light Alex@synthesis.net SynthesisWeekly.com/submit-yourevent/

Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti

by Zooey Mae

Stripped Bare, Part Deux

Entertainment Editor

Deliveries

Comical Ruminations

PAGE 8

Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net

Accounting Ben Kirby

Director of Operations Karen Potter

Owner

PAGE 22

Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net The Synthesis is both owned and published

by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis.

The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@ synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 editorial@synthesis.net

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Now Hear This SYNTHESIS WEEKLY PLAYLIST Andrew Jackson Jihad “Temple Grandin”

Tanner

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Mike

The Beatles - “Yellow Submarine”

Colin

Johnny Hodges - “I Didn’t Know About You”

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Jonathan Coulton - “First of May”

Andrea

The National - “All The Winw”

Becca

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Howl

French Reform - “Run”

4

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAY 5 2014

Where We Draw the Lines OK, let me just address this right off the bat: you may be thinking that we decided to put an interview with former Chico News & Review columnist Anthony Peyton Porter on our cover as a dig at our rival weekly paper. You may think this is rather petty of us, and perhaps you’re already writing a snarky letter in the back of your head to tell me so. The truth is, while Synthesis does have a history of poking at our friends on the other end of downtown, we hesitated for that very reason.

Unlike some of our previous editors, I don’t really feel a rivalry with the CNR. There are many ways in which our papers are different— in our focus, our style, and the freedom we give our writers (among other things). There are also many ways in which we are the same—we’re both headed by women, and we both support our local artistic community, for example. The way I see it, there’s plenty of time in the week we’re on the stands for people to read both publications, and my job is to put together the best paper I can, regardless of what they’re doing.

The reason we decided to interview Mr. Porter is that all of us here have been reading his column for years, we appreciate his role as an independent thinker, and we wanted to give him a chance to tell the story behind his dismissal.

An interesting little side note to this whole thing: having read the blog version of APP’s From The Edge column regarding Sid Lewis (one of several apparent dominoes that led to his departure from CNR), I must admit I found it rather shocking. To say his opinions were the polar opposite of my own is putting it mildly (there was even mention of my column on the matter in the comments

section of his preceding post, “Censorship,” wherein I was chided by a Lewis supporter— somewhat ironically—for being so candid about my experiences and opinions). You can read the column I’m referring to at anthonypeytonporter.blogspot.com, it’s the one titled “Sid Lewis.”

It raised some interesting questions at our editorial meeting about what we would consider too bold [read: controversial] of an opinion to publish, and how we would have handled the situation both as writers and as editors. We let a lot of stuff fly around here, like references to strippers’ buttholes and flagrant dropping of F-bombs, but there is a line (albeit fuzzy and grey) where social responsibility comes into play.

While my initial reaction to his column was to say, “Yikes, this is some really extreme rhetoric that could actually be harmful to victims of sex crimes; I wouldn’t want to print that either,” upon reflection, I think there is value in running content that’s so (for lack of a better term) on the edge. It could’ve made for a good opportunity for a deeper conversation, had it been paired with a rebuttal to his arguments, and it’s interesting to consider how differently two people can view the same subject. Ultimately that’s the value in open and free speech: exploring topics from many sides so we can better understand ourselves; so we can know where we really draw the lines, and why.

Letter From the Editor

by Amy Olson

amy@synthesis.net

You Know it’s There WHEN YOU ARE TRAPPED IN THE SUCK-SPIT, EVERYONE WHO IS NOT TRAPPED IN THE SUCK-SPIT SUPPOSES YOU ARE SOME KIND OF WHINER. I can’t keep writing depressing stuff. They’ve already shuffled me toward the back [Editor’s note: You don’t know me!]. I get that.

Man, but I’m not depressed.

This is a weird, heavy period in my life. Well, I mean, we’re getting around the bend.

Tough times. We’re getting through it, is what I mean.

Jezus... ...It’s a treat to write on a keypad that isn’t muddled with fructose juice and Xanthan gum. There is a point, on that other keyboard: a t becomes a j, and the comma key triggers unpredictable responses.

Weird Connections...

Phew, the way these keys flow. And then, of course I begin to mistrust the uniformity. Every key-pad should be different and unique, so that you have to go searching, and figuring, before you can write a phrase.

I have written to you about the hazards of toxins; but I will douse myself in “Off!” to keep from being chomped (by mosquitoes). These skinny, bleeding, little things are eating me alive!

Something is happening.

Things happen out here that I can’t describe.

If I ever leave the country, the only place to go from here is desert. Fat flies are dive-bombing into my wine. I drink their gizzards.

Trike There is a guy who drives by here, many times a day, on this incredible, I’m assuming custom-made, three-wheeled motorcycle. It is blue, sits wide, and the guy who rides it looks like a Norse God. He rides in a black-leather jacket and wears a long, white beard. The trike is low-slung; the fuel canister is strapped down with a couple of metal bands. It’s a badass setup, and not the only one around here.

Up here we’ve got super-charged Firebirds, a division of jacked-up trucks, and a cavalry of dancing horses. Tradition abounds, but I like these custom jobbees the best. I’ve heard

...then, of course I begin to mistrust the uniformity... rumor of people stringing together helicopters out of steel tubing, lawnmower engines, and bailing wire. These things fly—I am not saying you should try it. I’m really not. DON’T TRY IT! THEY FLY! There were so many people, back in that early age of flight, who would willingly and gladly exchange their lives, for a chance to resist gravity. Gravity is the force that gives us the chance to live—it keeps us planted on the ground. So it’s not puzzling that the opportunity to escape gravity is attractive. Life challenges that which feeds it.

Now flying is cheap and crowded. It’s more technical—scheduled and coordinated—than it is freeing.

When I flew as a kid we used to dress up in store-bought fancy dark-wool or linen suits before we set foot aboard a plane. This was way back in the “Golden Age of Flying,” when the Captains pinned plastic shields to your chest and the stewardesses served your parents hyped-up gin and tonics, or vodka cranberries. This was back in the age of avoidance, before everyone understood exactly what you were up to.

Ignorance is a funny word, with its root right there in “ignore,” as in “pay no attention to,” even though you know damn well it is there.

Immaculate Infection

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Earlier this week I checked out the early access alpha build for Endless Legend, the latest in the multifaceted Endless series, and the latest attempt (of a long and woefully boring line) at a fantasy strategy game resembling Civilization V with magic, or something like it. I found most of the features marked with black-and-yellow construction tape, and found the game floppy, confusing, and unfinished. And it is unfinished.

Early access games let you buy the game in an unfinished, likely unstable build. The customer gets the game early and gets to see its development in action, and in exchange the developers get investment and/or returns on their game before they’re even finished— and sometimes, more importantly, oodles of valuable data from players who encounter bugs and provide feedback on how the game plays. The idea isn’t brand new, but usually only Massively Multiplayer Online (MMO for anyone who plays them) games have the scope and guts to make Open Beta a slightly different process.

Some games, like the massively ambitious and eternally developed Planetary Annihilation, a galaxy-spanning MMO Real Time Strategy title, charged even more for early access than they did for later builds of the game. Planetary Annihilation is also well known for continuing early development past the initial alpha stage and the secondary beta stage, where essentially all game development has stopped before. That action spawned numerous jokes pertaining to full calendar dates in sync with the Greek Alphabet, some joking that the game should be out of omega and done around 2076.

One of the first early access games, and certainly one of the most famous, was Minecraft, which became purchasable in 2009, yet was released as its “official release” in 2011. In fact, the game has gone through

6

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAY 5 2014

no less than seven publicly available and purchasable versions, from “Classic” to “Survival Test” to “Indev” to “Infdev” to “Alpha” to “Beta,” and finally to version “1.0,” the so called official release proclaiming MInecraft to be a full game. The thing is, as any Minecraft player knows, they didn’t stop updating it there, and haven’t since. Over those three years, Minecraft has gone from 1.0 to 1.8.

In 2012, the small-scale, indie-focused online game store Desura began what they called “Alphafunding” in order to help struggling developers get their ideas off the ground.

Steam began their program of “Early Access” in mid 2013. The fact that Steam’s term is all but canon while Desura’s “Alphafunding” is never used says a lot about marketing, and a lot about the size of the platform’s respective user bases. Now Steam has an entire early access page, with a library numbering around 180. More and more games, especially those from independent developers or fledgling companies, are using the early access system to help fund games before they even begin.

This marks a huge shift away from the era of closed, professional testing and development.

The trend of “crowdsourcing” has grown stronger and stronger in gaming, primarily for computer games. Player made in-game items, player feedback oriented design, and player influenced character decisions put together by the developers based on character popularity and demographics. Now, with the idea of late expansions and updates and constant release of new builds, some games are wondering if there is an end to the development process.

Productivity Wasted

by Eli Schwartz

I Am A Pod.

HURRY UP WITH MY DAMN CROISSANT. Do you ever have one of those days, where you forget how to live? I feel like my allergies have crescendoed to a point where I’m living the life of a subhuman. I am a pod. A congested, worthless pod. Today at work I had a tissue jammed up each nostril while I typed.

I guess I’m just lucky that I work in a cubicle that hardly anyone ever walks past. Thanks to the allergies I’ve been running on just a few hours of sleep a night for longer than I care to remember. I take Benadryl every night, and usually just when the antihistamines are finally kicking in and I’m being lulled into a fitful sleep, my gentleman friend’s cat chooses that moment to come sauntering into the room, where he (without fail) will make his way to the top of my dresser and start knocking things off one by one. What a waste of a four-legged furry friend. On top of that nightly annoyance, it’s now the end of spring term, which means all those semester-long projects are finally due.

I feel like I almost have Chico State all figured out, and it only took… my entire time spent

here. There’s so much that no one tells you when you enroll, or maybe they do if you’re 18 and you go there straight out of high school, just not if you go back to school in your late twenties after getting your AA at Butte then taking a few years off to really find yourself (see also: do a lot of drugs, convince yourself that you look great in overalls, watch Con Air a thousand times). One of the most useful nuggets I’ve gleaned is that online courses will almost always be better than actually having to go. The exception is if you find professors that are really great (Matt Blake & Aaron Quinn, I’m looking at you!). But really, what a waste of time going to class is. When there’s a set amount of hours that they’re required to fill each week, I find that inevitably classes devolve into an embarrassingly terrible amalgamation of professors assigning work that barely constitutes “busywork,” or class time spent indulging students who have an overabundance of opinions or stories, with either no real connection to the material or no discernable value to be gained from listening to them speak.

Last week I attended a class where literally the entire hour or so was spent discussing a bake sale. That isn’t to say that this highbrow discussion was being run by the professor.

Instead it was hijacked by a set of overbearing students who seemed to delight in yell-talking over one another and debating the finer points of cookies vs. cupcakes. We are paying an obscene amount of money to be here, and this is what we are spending our time doing?

Look, I want to learn. That’s why I’m there.

But try as I may, I just can’t muster within myself the smallest inkling of energy to put towards giving a shit what my peers think. I am interested to hear what the professor has to say, that’s why I’m there. But please, for the love of Desmond Llewelyn, please stop the insanity. Also, why do the elevators in Tehama Hall always smell like a jar of old farts? Get it together, guys.

Comical Ruminations

by Zooey Mae

zooey@synthesis.net

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 7

On the dismissal of an iconic columnist: An interview with anthony peyton porter

written by Crown photos by Carolina Rios

F

or those who are unfamiliar, Anthony Peyton Porter had been a writer for Chico News & Review for almost nine years, up until the recent discontinuation of his column From The Edge.

I saw this as a dramatic move for the CNR, one that seemed to be swept under the rug. The only mentions of APP getting booted were in his “farewell” column and in two reader letters that were published the following week—no public explanation was given regarding the column’s end. I felt compelled to shed light on something left in the shadows.

I know a lot of people who would open up CNR solely for a weekly dive into Anthony’s world. Known for his direct, witty, honest, raw, opinionated, and sometimes racy stories and views, APP has become what is known as “Chico-famous.” Some will take a break from their grocery shopping to come up to him and voice praise in person, while others will express their inspired upset via email. He’s had plenty from both sides.

I think many of his readers—at least, those who weren’t easily offended—found something special in the weekly run. Perhaps they APP at age 18

sensed an air of shameless freedom, which terrified some and excited some deeper portions of others. From The Edge, in many ways, had come to represent a place for free thought—uncensored, unfiltered, and shameless.

Anthony was a pleasure to be around, and our conversation made for a great interview. He loves to laugh, and he gave thoughtful and honest answers in our conversation about his recent experience with censorship and dissociation from the CNR. While APP and I walked through the park together, one reader stopped us to let him know that “he misses the column already.”

So what happened? [He laughs and pauses for a moment, seemingly a bit baffled.]

I’m not entirely sure. Or at least, there were a number of things.

You had been writing in CNR for almost 9 years... What was their reasoning?

Not a clear one. I only talked to [the editor] once, and this was after CNR rejected three different submissions in about two months. In our conversation there was nothing really specific. The only concrete thing I heard was about the first two things they rejected.

One rejected column was about my experience with someone close to me, mental illness, and the mental health system in Chico, which they said violated “the privacy of the subject.”

Can you talk about the arrangement you had with CNR? It’s a common arrangement for a freelancer that gives [the publisher] “Right of first refusal,” so that anything I wrote for publication, I would give [CNR] first crack at. They weren’t committed to accepting anything, although I was committed to showing them everything I did. They got first chance to publish it, and if they refused it, I could do anything I wanted with it.

They said that they could be liable for a lawsuit if they printed it (the mental illness piece). . . “Exposing the subject’s life-details opens this paper up to legal action” was the stated reason.

(Until recently, only one other column had been rejected— one written in 2007 about the film director Roman Polanski, who had been convicted of sex with a minor in the ’70s.)

When something got rejected, the default action was to run an old one.

I can understand the reasoning behind that. What about the second rejection?

A couple of weeks later I wrote about Sid Lewis and his difficulties. CNR staff said that it was a “brand new case and there is way too little information available to be

putting out opinions in the paper.”

That rejection came early enough for me to write something else if I wanted to, and I wrote “Censorship,” which was about their having rejected two previous columns [laughs]… and their response to that was, “After passing this column under all eyes here, as you might have predicted, the decision has been made not to print it.”

That made the third rejection in two months. There was no specific reason for the rejection of the “Censorship” column.

Well, what’s the deal? What’s your feeling on the matter?

My opinion [laughs] is that it was just because I blew the whistle on them. Because in Chico, Chico News & Review carries the “liberal banner,” at least when compared to Enterprise Record. “Censorship” made it clear that it’s as restrictive as anybody.

Their having refused to print the two pieces on mental health and Sid Lewis were reasons for me to quit, but not reasons for them to fire me. They just kicked them back and printed something else, like they’d been doing for years when I missed a week.

I can imagine a situation where it’s clear that somebody ought to go. I had a secretary once who was like that. She was AWFUL. There wasn’t really anything to say. She didn’t have the skills. So I can see how there are situations where you fire somebody and there’s nothing really to talk about.

And, that’s apparently how CNR felt.

As far as I can tell, what changed things was not just their rejection of those three pieces, but my posting “Censorship” on Facebook and then on my blog, because before that I hadn’t really blown the whistle. Once it got on Facebook, I got the email saying, “Call me, and I’m sure you’re wise enough to know what this is about.”

Here’s a fun question: How do you feel like they handled it?

Poorly. [laughs] I thought they handled it kinda poorly; I thought their decision not to print the other stuff was just kinda wimpy. Fearful. It seemed clear to me that they were not open to negotiation. There were no warnings that the column would be discontinued. It was just gone.

So I think they mostly just acted out of fear, and since the fear took precedence, there was no way to respond. There was no conversation.

What would have been your ideal way of handling the matter?

I’d like a joint interview. It’s something worth trying, because, ego aside, it was a popular column. I know a lot of people read it. I know a lot of people read ONLY that, or at least, they read that first [laughs]. And if I were the cont. on page 10 FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 9

editor, I would feel some responsibility to explain that decision to the readership.

So, there are things unsaid here. [laughs] Not by me, but at least, the particular nature of their assumptions is unclear. I mean, they think I know, and I think I know, too, but …

That’s not the point, is it? [laughs] Right. It doesn’t matter.

The part that really catches me is the lack of communication.

I can understand the decisions to not print those particular pieces, but to then make such a powerful decision, and then sweep it under the rug, seems like they’re sending mixed signals.

If you do something like that in a public position like they are; when you’re in charge of that much outgoing information, I think there are some responsibilities that go along with that.

I think you should be willing to articulate what you think your responsibilities are. If there is some overriding policy, you should be able to say it to anybody.

In an area where the whole point was to not nitpick. It seemed like that corner of the page was dedicated to free thought. [laughs] It seemed that way. This is free thought, right here.

And that was the attraction …

It seemed like it, at least at first.

It was interesting to me; and this is where [CNR and I] really part; that they expected me to somehow be acceptable to the editorial staff, that my views should be in concert with theirs, or at least not overly contradictory. I had certainly never heard that, and I had never really felt that before. It always seemed that everybody was clear that I say what I want to say, and I don’t really consider other people’s likes and dislikes.

A big theme here seems to be a conflict of intention. Is this column representative of free thought, or isn’t it? The intention was not made clear. As a result, it’s fair game for misunderstanding [Editor’s note: Or sensational cover stories], because there’s nothing to base it on.

I had thought, initially, that it was just my blowing the whistle, going public with what had happened. That’s still the explanation that I favor—that they just didn’t want their dirty laundry on display. Either because they regretted the action, or because they didn’t feel able to explain it adequately.

If you do something that you believe in, and you know why you did it, you should be able to say that—especially in regard to a public venue—and that’s still the way I lean. What’s actually in that space now are ads.

Although I think the editorial staff acted out of fear [in regard to the decision], I think they were doing the best they could.

I don’t bear them a grudge. I unfriended them on Facebook [laughs]. It was the least I could do. [chuckles] They’re decent people!

What’s next?

My blog. I’m asking for subscriptions, and I’ve gotten some.

This is a lot harder, but I expect to keep writing, and I expect to get more subscriptions. It’ll take a while, but I still have things to say [laughs].

If you make a big decision like that, I think being able to say why is important, or at least desirable. Maybe if I had pleaded for myself it would have been different... But deep down I don’t think it would’ve been, because it just felt cut-and-dried.

[The editor] wanted me to call, but it wasn’t to talk about anything—it was so she could say “It’s over.”

I was treated as though I had written an editorial, which allegedly represents some editorial staff consensus on an issue, the kind of thing that’s written by staff, not by some wild-eyed freelancer. [laughs]

You can find Anthony Peyton Porter’s latest musings about reality at anthonypeytonporter.com.

What kind of response have you gotten since then?

Leading up to the firing, you mentioned that you had already felt your own conflicts about the rejections and considered leaving.

I haven’t heard from anybody who was glad. I’ve heard lots of comments from people in person and via email that said they’re sorry it’s gone, and they miss reading it. A couple of people, after the column ended, said that they understand why they didn’t run the Sid Lewis piece, but don’t understand their decision to kill the column outright.

“I’m not a reporter, and I feel no obligation to be fair or balanced. I never thought anybody would expect me to toe the CNR’s editorial line in any way out here on the edge, because I haven’t and I don’t. I guess that’s the problem.”

It had gotten to be frustrating. It just seemed like they were nitpicking.

10

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAY 5 2014

– From Anthony Payton Porter’s column “Censorship”

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Reuben Sand w/ fries or salad $6.50 5pm-Close 1/2 off kids items 8pm-Close Pitcher Specials $6/$9/$12 FREE Pool after 10PM

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off.

Sierra Nevada Draft $3

$3 20oz Slushies $2 12oz Slushies $2 Wells, Drafts and Bartender Specials $5 Vodka Red Bull

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Chico Jazz Collective 8-midnight Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra & Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

Baby Back Ribs $10.99 Philly Cheesesteak $7.50

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Rock Out at The DL! Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @11am All ages untill 10pm

10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/ Fries or Salad & Garlic Bread $8.99 8pm-Close $4 J채ger $5 DBL Vodka Red Bull $6 J채ger Red Bull $2 Kamikaze shots FREE Pool after 10PM

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Rock Out at The DL! Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @11am All ages untill 10pm

Baby Back Ribs w/Salad, Fries & garlic bread $10.99 8pm-Close $4 Single/$6 Double Jack or Captain $2 Sierra Nevada FREE Pool after 10PM

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Super Bowl Sunday: Bronco Burgers and Sea Chicken Tuna melts $8 1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans

$5.19 Grad/Garden/ Turkey Burger w/fries or salad Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call, $5 Top, $6 Goose Mimosas $2/flute, $5/pint $6 Beer Pitchers FREE Pool after 10PM

8PM-Close $2.50 Fire Eater Shots $6 DBL Bacardi Cocktails

Open 9PM NO COVER! Food Truck Friday: Pop's Pizza wood-fired pizza's made to order on the patio, all night!

Happy Hour from 4-6.

Bartender Specials $3 14oz Slushies $4 20oz Slushies

We open at 12:00pm.

Kentucky Bucks are $5 until 5pm!

Food Truck Saturday Night Annie's Asian Grill on the Patio Everything from Shrimp Tempura to Korean Tacos

Bartender Specials $3 14oz Slushies $4 20oz Slushies

Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4PM $3 Sierra & Domestic Pints $3.50 Soccer moms $6 Dbl Roaring Vodka

Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4PM $3 Sierra & Domestic Pints Weekend Blast Off!!

8-close $5 Blasters

WE OPEN AT 12:00PM MIMOSAS WITH FRESH SQUEEZED OJ FOR $5 UNTIL 5PM.

12-6PM $1 off pitchers 8PM - Close $3 Single / $5 DBL Bacardi Cocktails

Open at 11AM $5 Bottles of Champagne with entree $4.50 Bloody Mary $5.50 Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys

F r i d ay 4 - 7 p m

Wednesday 9pm

HAPPY HOUR!

DANCE NIGHT DJ SPENNY & JEFF HOWSE

THE PUB SCOUTS 337 Main St.

12

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAY 5 2014

6pm-Close $4 Grad teas $3 All beer pints FREE Pool after 10PM

530-343-1745

Please Drink Responsibly

Go DownLo

BEAR-E-OKE BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49.

11am-10pm.

90's Night! $6 Pitchers $3 Jameson and Skyy Specials $2 Kamis

Go DownLo

BEAR WEAR! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear.

MUG CLUB 4-10PM

Metal Night in the Whiskey Room! $1 Jim Beam $2 cans of beer

Go DownLo

College "House Party" Ladies Night ! $5 Pabst pitchers 1/2 off Rockstar cocktails $2.50 Pink Lemonades $3 Jamo and Ginger Buck Hour 10:30 - 11:30!!

LIVE JAZZ Drink Specials

FIREBALL FRIDAYS!!!!

LIVE MUSIC Drink Specials

Happy Hour 4 - 8pm $6 pitchers $2 refills after 1st purchase 80's NIGHT!!!

LIVE MUSIC Drink Specials

Happy Hour 4 - 8pm $6 pitchers $2 refills after 1st purchase KARAOKE "INDUSTRY NIGHT" HALF OFF ALMOST EVERYTHING!(Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors)

Call To Rent For Private Party Go DownLo

Happy Hour 11-6PM select bottles & drafts $2.75

$2 All Day $2 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts $2 Kamis -any flavor

TRIKE RACES! Post time @ 10pm.

Win T-shirts and Bear Bucks.

MUG CLUB 4-10PM

All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3 All Day

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49.

11am-10pm.

Happy Hour 11-6PM $2.75 select bottles & drafts

LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY $4.99!

Mon-Sat 10pm - 1am.

LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY $4.99!

Mon-Sat 10pm - 1am.

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49.

11am-10pm.

CLOSED

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm

GAME NIGHT 9-11PM $3.50 Sky Vodka Cocktails

2 FOR 1 BURGERS ALL DAY !!

MINORS WELCOME!

$2 Margaritas $3 Cuervo Marqis $2.50 Corona Bottles & Sierra Drafts $3 Corona Lite Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM $1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $2 wells 5/5 Cinco de Drinko!

CLOSED

Happy Hour 4 - 7pm

Progressive Night!

8-10PM $1 Sierra Pale Ale, Domestics, Rolling Rock & well cocktails up 10PM-close 25¢ per hour-close Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM

Closed

Buck Night 8-close $1 well cocktails, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Rolling Rock, dom draft $3 Black Butte $4 Vodka Redbull

Closed

$3 Hot Licks $4 151 Party Punch 22oz 8-9PM $1 pale ale and dom draft up 25¢ per hour until close $6.50 Apple Cinnamon Cider

Closed

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!

1/2 OFF EVERYTHING!!!

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm

M O N 5 /5 , A L L D AY

6

$

PATIO OPEN at 5PM 9pm - Close $2 12oz Teas $3 20oz Teas $2 Well, Dom Bottles & bartender Specials $5 Vodka Red Bull

Happy Hour 4 - 7pm

Free Happy Hour Food 4PM until it's gone

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials PATIO OPEN at 2PM

Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts (excludes pitchers) 9PM-Close $3 Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pale Pitchers

POWER 102 VIP NIGHT Open at 9PM

Happy Hour 11-6PM select wells, bottles and pints $2.75

Happy Hour- 4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-8pm Most food items and pitchers of beer are $5

$4 Sex On The Beach $4 Sierra Nevada Knightro ON TAP $1 Jello Shots 7-10PM $3 Fireball

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials

Hot "Dawgs" ALL DAY!

Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM $1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $2 wells Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts (excludes pitchers) 9-Close Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pale Pitchers

BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available!

CLOSED

CLOSED

$2 16oz Wells

$4 World Famous Bloody Joe $5 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!!

Happy Hour 4-8pm

PATIO OPEN at 2PM Happy Hour 4-8pm

Champagne Brunch 11am - 2pm $3 Champagne with entree

Champagne Brunch and SPORTS!

MAYO

BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available!

Call for reservation 898-9898

MUERTO MARGARITAS

3

$

CORONA DOS EQUIS PACIFICO

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Call for reservation 898-9898 Open at 9PPM

GAME NIGHT BINGO/TRIVIA S P O N S O R E D BY

WEDNESDAY 9-11PM FREE TO PLAY PRIZES!

SKYY SPECIALS ALL NIGHT

10% OFF WITH STUDENT ID BEFORE 8PM

OPEN THUR-SAT 9PM // 132 E. 2ND STREET // 530.898.9898

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 13

This Week Only...

BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT

Saturday, May 10th

Tuesday, May 6th

THE STEEP CANYON RANGERS

ART AT THE MATADOR

THE RENDEZVOUS

MATADOR MOTEL

They’ve won a Grammy. They’re the backing band for Steve Martin.

They have a fantastic new album titled Tell The Ones I Love, produced by the Grammy-winning Larry Campbell. Their vocal harmonies are honey-sweet. Come down and enjoy bluegrass that actually feels fresh, deep, soulful, and alive. $22 in advance, $26 at the door, 7pm.

On Friday the 9th and Saturday the 10th, the Matador hosts their annual arts exhibition, turning entire motel rooms into little art galleries. Friday goes from 4-9pm, with live jazz by Bright Size and Susan Schrader Jazz Quartet. Saturday goes from 2-9pm, with DJ sets by Top Dolla, Sonny D, and more. Saturday at dusk will see a fire dancing performance by the Lumininjas.

Wednesday, May 7th

Saturday, May 10th

1078 GALLERY

HARMONIC LANDSCAPES BY NORTH STATE SYMPHONY

I was smiling within seconds of listening to their track, “I’ll See You In My Dreams.” These guys are an authentically delicious treat. Equal parts gypsy jazz, tango, samba, and chanson, these seasoned souls make regular touring trips through France, and are giving the West Coast a taste of their impeccable musicianship.

Also featuring local musician Geoff Baker. $10, 8pm.

This will be conductor and music director Kyle Pickett’s last performance with the North State Symphony.

Works by Dvorak, Brahms, and Benjamin Britten will be featured, as well as Antonin Dvorak’s “Concerto” by guest soloist David Requiro, an international award-winning celloist. Tickets are available at the University Box Office.

7:30pm

THE SHOESTRING TRIO

229 BROADWAY ST, CHICO, CA

Other new and exciting things!

t h g i N e e i d La ght own the ni

thursdays

buck11h:3o0upr m 10:30-

5 Monday

Blue Room: Blue Room Young Company presents Thoroughly Modern Millie. $10 Adults, $7 Children, 2pm

children/students, 7:30pm Maltese: Coffis Brothers And The Mountain Men, Jess Braun. $3, 9pm

6 Tuesday

8 Thursday

Sierra Nevada Big Room: The Shook Twins. $15, 7:30pm Yoga Center Of Chico: Jaya Lakshmi & Ananda With The Bhakti Bliss Band. $15 Advance, $20 door, 7:30pm

7 Wednesday

Butte College: The Importance Of Being Earnest. $15 General, $10 Students/Seniors, 7:30pm Laxson: Aladdin Jr. $15 Adults, $8

Chico Theatre Company: Shrek The Musical. 7:30pm LaRocca Taste Room: BellySutra presents Crimson Glitter belly dance performance. 7pm LaSalles: Tyler DeVoll Band on the patio. 6-9pm

9 Friday

Chico Theatre Company: Shrek The Musical. 7:30pm Chico Womens Club: Fred Zeppelin,

EAT. DRINK. PLAY. 229 BROADWAY ST, CHICO, CA 14

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAY 5 2014

Find Out How you Can Play Pool for Only $1/Day!

LAXSON AUDITORIUM

Wake Of The Dead. $10, Dinner at 5:30pm, Show at 7pm LaSalles: “Rave Reviews” ft. Tasty Treat & Dead Robot Lost On Main: The Lou Mars Band, Alli Battaglia & The Musical Brewing Company, The Mercantiles. $5 before 10pm, $8 after.

Maltese: The Quasimofos. $5, 9pm Matador Motel: Art At The Matador. Art-filled rooms, booths, live music. Free, 4-9pm

10 Saturday

1078 Gallery: Guitar Project With Warren Haskell & Friends ft. James Edwards. $10 General, $5 Students, 7:30pm Chico Theatre Company: Shrek The

Musical. 7:30pm Cafe Coda: PIXIES Cover Night, ft.

20+ bands. $5-$10 sliding scale Lost On Main: Bumptet, Liquid Kactus Maltese: Chuck Epperson Jr. Band, Hippy Trap. $5, 9pm Matador Motel: Art At The Matador. Art-filled rooms, booths, live music. Free, 2-9pm Three Sixty Ecotique: Lovers Of The Sun fashion show. Doors 6:30 Show 7:30

11 Sunday

Chico Theatre Company: Shrek The Musical. 2pm

LESSONS, LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS! GREAT FOOD! LIVE MUSIC! 319 Main Street (530) 892-2473

Ongoing Events 5 Monday

The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm Cafe Coda: 1st Monday Jazz. $10, 7-8:30pm Chico Womens Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender.

7pm. All ages until 10pm Janet Turner Print Museum: Juried Student Exhibitions. 11-4pm Maltese: Open Mic Comedy or Music, alternates every week. Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm The Tackle Box: Latin Dance Classes. Free, 7-9pm University Art Gallery: 59th Annual Juried Student Exhibition.

9am-5pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Yoga Center Of Chico: Sound Healing w. Emiliano. Breathwork, Meditation, Healing.

6 Tuesday

100th Monkey: Fusion Belly Dance mixed-level class, with BellySutra. $8/class or $32/month. 7pm Chico Women’s Club: Yoga.

9-10am. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm.

Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10.

7:30-8:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+ DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pm Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi and Friends. 7-9pm Janet Turner Print Museum: Juried Student Exhibitions. 11-4pm LaSalles: ’90s night. 21+ Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close The Tackle Box: Karaoke, 9pm University Art Gallery: 59th Annual Juried Student Exhibition.

9am-5pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts

6:30pm

7 Wednesday

Avenue 9 Gallery: Art Guild’s exhibit “Delbert Rupp: Enigma” 12-5pm The Bear: Trike Races. Post time 10pm Chico Women’s Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm DownLo: Wednesday night jazz.

8 Ball Tournament, signups 6pm, starts 7pm Duffys: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. $1, 9pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Janet Turner Print Museum: Juried Student Exhibitions. 11-4pm Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome.

9-10:30am Panamas: Bar Swag Bingo/Trivia Night. 9-11pm The Maltese: Friends With Vinyl!

Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable.

9pm-1am The Tackle Box: Line Dance classes.

Free, 5:30-7:30pm. Swing Dance classes. Free, 7:30-9:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm University Art Gallery: 59th Annual Juried Student Exhibition.

9am-5pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana.

7-9pm Woodstocks: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm

8 Thursday

Avenue 9 Gallery: Art Guild’s exhibit “Delbert Rupp: Enigma” 12-5pm The Beach: DJ Mack Morris.

10:30pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. Free, 9pm Chico Theatre Company: Shrek The Musical. 7:30pm DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective.

8-11pm. All ages until 10pm

LIFE IN CHICO

The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Has Beans: Open Mic Night.

7-10pm. Signups start at 6pm Janet Turner Print Museum: Juried Student Exhibitions. 11-4pm LaSalles: Free live music on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close Panamas: Buck night and DJ Eclectic & guests on the patio. 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm University Art Gallery: 59th Annual Juried Student Exhibition.

9am-5pm Woodstocks: Open Mic Night Yoga Center Of Chico: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson. 7:309:30pm

9 Friday

Avenue 9 Gallery: Art Guild’s exhibit “Delbert Rupp: Enigma” 12-5pm The Beach: DJ2k & Mack Morris.

9pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. Free, 9pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. 11am Chico Theatre Company: Shrek The Musical. 7:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays.

Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm DownLo: ½ off pool. All ages until 10pm. Live Music, 8pm Duffys: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour.

4-7pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Janet Turner Print Museum: Juried Student Exhibitions. 11-4pm LaSalles: Open Mic night on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Happy hour with live jazz

by Bogg. 5-7pm. LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm Panamas: Jigga Julee, DJ Mah on the patio. 9pm Peeking: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $3. 9:30pm Sultan’s Bistro: Bellydance

Performance. 6:30-7:30pm University Art Gallery: 59th Annual Juried Student Exhibition.

9am-5pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

10 Saturday

Avenue 9 Gallery: Art Guild’s exhibit “Delbert Rupp: Enigma” 12-5pm The Beach: DJ Mah. 9pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover.

9pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Dancing. 10pm-1:30am Chico Theatre Company: Shrek The Musical. 7:30pm DownLo: 9 Ball tournament.

Signups at noon, starts at 1pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and 80s music. 8pm-midnight Janet Turner Print Museum: Juried Student Exhibitions. 11-4pm LaSalles: 80’s Night. 8pm-close Panamas: DJ Eclectic on the patio.

9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Yoga Center Of Chico: Mind Power Workshop w. Gayle Kimball, Ph.D. 1-4pm

SICILIAN CAFÉ

11 Sunday

100th Monkey: Death Cafe. Eat and drink, and talk about death.

2pm Chico Theatre Company: Shrek The Musical. 2pm Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. Free-style dance wave, $8-$15 sliding scale.

10am-12:30pm DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pm LaSalles: Karaoke. 9pm Maltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm. Trivia 8pm Tackle Box: Karaoke, 8pm

Do you like Life in Chico? So do we! “Like” Life in Chico, CA

facebook.com/ChicoCA

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On The Town 16

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAY 5 2014

by logan kruidenier - logankruidenier.tumblr.com

New Childhood Diseases Found and Cured If you weren’t paying attention due to your untreated Attention Deficit Disorder, you may have missed the announcement of a virulent new disease discovered by those who seek and find illnesses where no one else had thought to look.

Linear Squiggling Syndrome (LSS). Once known as “doodling,”

In January, for instance, The Journal of Abnormal Child Psychology breathlessly rolled out the discovery of Sluggish Cognitive Tempo, or SCT, a heretofore unnamed scourge of childhood. I’m not making that up. The malady, once known colloquially as “daydreaming,” is now positioned for a whole range of pharmaceutical research and development engineered to speed up cognitive tempo until or unless it accelerates to the level of Attention Deficit Disorder, at which time afflicted children will be prescribed one or another of the many alternative drugs that have been developed to get kids to slow down their cognitive activities just a tad.

With the recognition of this new childhood abnormality, lobbyists are now hard at work to get the new drugs approved for insurance coverage.

that inhibit picking and scratching associated with HCOD.

But Sluggish Cognitive Tempo isn’t the only abnormality the drug company/psychiatric consortium have united to find and fix. Here are just a few others: 1) Linear Squiggling Syndrome (LSS). Once known as “doodling,” Linear Squiggling Syndrome is widespread among children from age 3 through 17. Some even carry the affliction into adulthood, exhibiting symptoms whenever they’re bored. Fortunately, pharmaceutical companies have developed drugs that fight the affliction by making it impossible for sufferers to grip a pencil.

2) Bodily Agitation Disease (BAD). Previous generations naively referred to this rampant childhood ailment as “fidgeting,” but modern science now knows how harmful it is.

3) Hematological Coagulation Obsession Disorder (HCOD). Earlier generations of pediatricians referred to this clinical disorder as “picking at scabs.” Mothers in the entire range of world languages nag children to “stop picking at that,” with exceedingly poor results. Now the psychiatric community and the pharmaceutical industry have developed both the diagnostic tools and an array of drugs

4) Rapid Bi-pedal Forward Locomotion Reflex (RBFLR). Sometimes referred to as “running,” this pathological childhood behavior is being wiped out by a combination of modern science and technology. Since the rise of handheld social networking systems, children are seldom seen outdoors, the place where RBFLR symptoms were traditionally acted out. Combined with drugs administered to children co-diagnosed with ADHD, a big medical victory over RBFLR now seems attainable.

5) Companionship Anxiety Syndrome (CAS).

Sometimes referred to outside the medical community as “shyness,” this common childhood malady is being wiped out as Companionship Anxiety sufferers are being treated with maintenance doses of Xanax.

6) Vocal Repetition Reflex (VRR). Once known as “giggling,” the scientific community has discovered the dark side of this childhood affliction. VRR is not only disruptive in schools, but studies show that it does damage to the throat. Fortunately, drugs once known popularly as “downers” show remarkable success in controlling VRR. As one drug company CEO said at a recent convocation between drug manufacturers and child psychologists: “It’s wonderful how modern science has been able to find these problems, and then to find solutions for them.

Our children are the beneficiaries.”

And, he might have added, so is their profit margin.

Old Crock

by Jaime O'Neill jaimeandkarenoneill@gmail.com

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

On The Town

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 17

PART TWO AN EXOTIC ADVENTURES IN SMALLTOWN, USA SPECIAL REPORT: CENTERFOLDS

By Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff Photos by Shannon Iris

6. THE SECOND SONG Imagine, Generous Reader—truly imagine— what it would take for you to get up on a stage and, not only get naked, not only dance in six to nine inch heels, but have people stare deep, deep, deep into/at your genitalia and butthole. Imagine it. Personally, I start to disassociate in preparation for taking my shirt off at the pool. This job takes courage (and other complicated psychological/financial preconditions, too, yes).

“You’ve got to embrace your fears,” Veronica tells me, on my second night at Centerfolds.

It’s a Thursday, a bit busier than the last time.

The women are only on stage for two songs every 45 minutes or so, and when there are no takers on lap dances, some of them sit with me for 20 or 30 minutes at a time. I’d originally worried no one would want to speak with me. But I’m almost never alone. Sometimes, dancers even sit patiently waiting their turn.

7. SHAKING THAT ASS “When I was a kid, and I was dreaming of what life would be like, I dreamed I’d have kids, have a wealthy life,” Veronica tells me, not in a sad voice, but in the same upbeat honeyed voice and smile with which she says everything. “Then reality kicked in.” Veronica is third-generation Mexican-American, the youngest of six in a family she describes as being “like a party all the time.” She has only been at this for six months, and, at 27, Veronica is a relative late starter. She has worked in fast food and, for the past seven years, as a caretaker. Six months ago her Honda Civic broke down. “I was like, ‘OK, sink or swim.’” So she went to an “amateur night.”

18

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM MAY 5 2014

More than anyone else I talk to at Centerfolds, Veronica seems to really enjoy the work.

The money is good (approx. $40 an hour on average after paying out the club, in her case, she tells me).

And she thrives off of the attention paid to her physical beauty. “I go home from work and five guys that night have told me I’m a beautiful girl—who doesn’t want that?” she asks.

There’s an openness in that admission that’s startling to me. But it’s of a sort that’s commonplace at Centerfolds. Despite the strip club being, in many ways, one of the most false social contexts imaginable, Veronica explains that it’s also more real. “This is a place where people can do what they really want,” Veronica contends. “Girls can be adored and guys can stare.”

An odd vein of altruism runs through Veronica’s Philosophy of Stripping, too. “There are people that are undesirable in society’s eyes—either they’re not gorgeous or rich or whatever—and society says they shouldn’t have this,” she says, indicating her own body.

“There’s something missing for these guys— for people. And I can give it to them—for a moment, at least—a place where they don’t have to feel ugly or scared or unwanted.”

Obviously, Veronica’s motivations are not purely humanitarian. She’s also—especially given her relative lack of experience—a deep student of The Game. At one point our conversation lulls. It looks like she’s just pleasantly zoning out, smiling off into nowhere. I ask her what she’s thinking about.

“Just strategizing,” she explains. “Taking in who’s spending what, who likes what music, who’s into who, what they’re into, how the other girls are doing and—if they’re doing better than me—why?”

Jesus, I think: Veronica isn’t just the Mother Teresa of stripping!

She’s its Gary Kasparov! And who does the best, I ask her?

Charity, she says. This is confirmed by basically everybody.

8. ENGAGING THE CUSTOMER How does Charity do it? How does Charity get men to voluntarily hand her hundreds of dollars nearly every night, while another pretty dancer I spoke to (who didn’t make it into this article because of space issues) told me that for weeks she hadn’t made more than $60 in an eight hour shift?

First, I must warn you, Expectant Reader, that though I spent more time with Charity than anyone else at Centerfolds, I probably got to know her the least. She threw me off my game.

Her big brown eyes might as well have been black and white swirls. She’s hypnotizing.

I did learn that she’s 23. That she comes from a middle class family in the Bay Area; mom a city planner; dad an employee of the water dept. That she’s been dancing for two years. That she’s spent most of her young life working with children. That she’s currently transferring to Chico State as an Accounting Major.

But most of what I learned about Charity was from watching her with people and experiencing her firsthand.

“Charity and ___(X)___(Charity’s real name redacted) are like two different people,” she tells me. This is something that most of the dancers tell me at some point: There’s ___(X)___—the backstage or at TJs in sweatpants them—and then there’s the character they play on the dark side of the curtain at Centerfolds. Charity tells me that the character she plays is a sort of “girl next door,” a very “real,” approachable girl.

Charity is particularly physically beautiful. She’s sweet, unassuming and smart, too. And she’s no slouch on the pole.

But more than anything, Charity, it seems to me, knows how to make men feel a certain way, a way these men probably very rarely ever feel, but very much enjoy feeling. She did it to me.

Right away, as I began interviewing her, she switched things around with some sort of Aikido of the mind. She asked about me. She seemed deeply interested. She looked deep into my eyes. She laughed at my jokes. She touched her hair repeatedly; the way body language experts say people do subconsciously when they’re interested in you. Being in her gaze was like being the only other person in the room. For a moment I almost thought she was genuinely flirting with me.

And then I thought about it and I felt very, very embarrassed with myself.

Later, traumatized, I ask her about it. I describe what I had experienced. Was I talking to Charity or ___(X)___ or someone in between? Does she lose track? Does she know the difference?

Charity laughs, demurely. She laughs as if I’ve just asked the most brilliant question anyone’s ever asked her. She says she doesn’t know. She says she’ll have to think about that one. She looks back into my eyes. She’s still going, I realize.

Later, Charity rejoins me after some time in the VIP room.

She tells me that the guy she was just with spent $220 on her, mostly just talking. “It’s all bullshit,” she says of their time. “He’s telling me this story about how he works for some company, parties in Vegas, how he’s got money. But I know he works at McDonalds. I’ve seen him there. But I gave him a good time. He wanted to be this big guy, and I let him, laughed at his stories—laughing’s a big thing.”

This all sort of blows my mind. This man, who probably doesn’t make $220 a week, was willing to spend that over the course of 30 minutes to have Charity help him create a fantasy—a lie; a lie he can live in for just a short little while—in which he’s his idealized self, or something closer to it, at least. How desperately so many of us want to be somebody, anybody— anybody other than who we actually are! Guys who work at McDonalds; women who decide to play a sexy character for half their waking nights; “journalists” who spend all their time trying to lose themselves in other people’s lives.

9. SHOWING THE PARTS NOT OFTEN SEEN Penny Lane has the face of a rich girl. A WASPy upturned nose, pillow lips, dimples, flawless skin. On stage that face has a far away look. But her Close-Up Magic is impressive. She folds over at customers’ jokes, howling. Twice, I watch her take her shoes off and giggle and marvel at how tall the customers are next to her—her hands over her mouth with “shock.” She speaks in the bubbly, hyper-animated way of a teenager. She is a teenager.

But Penny isn’t a rich girl. Far from it. Her parents split when

she was two after her mom cheated. “My mom has like 800 kids,” she tells me. “So if she could get rid of one, she was like— (mimes throwing away a piece of trash).” Penny lived with her mom briefly at age eight. “But my biological mom was hella bipolar.” She physically abused her—horribly, Penny tells me.

Her father was a military man. Penny went to five different elementary schools, six junior highs, four high schools. Still, she was honor roll; in choir, dance, band.

As an adolescent, Penny moved to a remote mountain town near Chico with her dad and his third wife (she asked me not to identify the town by name). He had left the military and bought a “destined-to-fail grocery store,” she says. “I took one look at the place and I just started counting the days until we’d lose it and have to leave.”

Her dad had a lot of girlfriends and wives. “He showed them way more attention than he showed me,” she says. “He was there, but he wasn’t there. He was a lonely man. He tried to find love over and over—but I guess it never worked.”

She stocked and worked the register at the store. But the market was gone and she was working at Burger King when, at 17, her dad and latest stepmom kicked her out saying, “Don’t take anything but the clothes you’re wearing.”

She was wearing her Burger King work outfit. She couch surfed. Then she wound up homeless. Without a mat or a sleeping bag, in her Burger King shirt, Penny spent two weeks sleeping in a cemetery, in a small grove of trees, a little distance away from the tombstones.

“Uhhh… $44 every two weeks at Burger King is not cutting it,” she says she quickly realized. Stripping was almost a natural course of action for Penny. “I wanted to be a stripper ever since I was little!” Penny tells me in her bubbly teenage way. “I know that sounds fucked up!” A few weeks after her 18th birthday, FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 19

she went to an amateur night and made $900.

“And now, at 19, I have to do the whole stripper/stepmom thing,” Penny says. Her boyfriend is 21. His kid is three. They’re moving in together.

We talk for a while about her dad and his girlfriends/wives, about how she always sought out and yet didn’t receive his attention, about how maybe that could have played a role in her choices.

“You should like totally come here once a week and be our psychologist!” Penny says, giggling.

Our jobs aren’t so different—Penny’s and mine—I think.

Everyone wants someone to really listen to them, to hear their stories, to care, to make them feel a little taller, maybe.

10. REALLY SPREADING ‘EM (AND POSSIBLY PULLING A MUSCLE) Bang Bang slides down next to me, then her knee glides up onto my thigh like a skiff onto a beach. She has a beautiful, prominent Aztec nose, huge hoops in her ears, eyes lowered to slits, a mouth drawn into a lascivious smile.

Bang Bang isn’t even her stripper name. It’s the petite 19-yearold from Richmond’s “street name.” She doesn’t want to be identified in this story for reasons that will become obvious.

“Hey,” she purrs. I explain the situation and point to my notebook. She looks at me incredulously, considers what I’ve said for a moment, then, before my eyes, her posture and the comportment of her facial expressions transmogrify; Bang Bang goes from slinky ghetto fantasy to bad girl hoodrat. She slouches back. She raps along with the song that’s playing, emphasizing the lyrics with her hands. She knows the rapper, personally, she tells me. She’s been in his rap videos, shaking her ass. Bang Bang claims to have done quite a bit of assshaking in a quite a few videos.

Within the first two thirty-minute hang-outs, Bang Bang tells me that 1) she is a Criminal Justice Major with plans to become a Probation Officer and 2) she’s a heavy user and dealer of opioids like Oxy, Percocet, and Opana.

I ask her if she’s fucking with me. She assures me she isn’t. I look in her eyes. I believe her…I think. I’m not sure. I point to my notebook again and say, “you realize I’m writing all this down, right?” And that’s when she tells me to use her “street name.”

Bang Bang tells me that she’s wanted to be a cop ever since she was a little girl. It all started when she was in elementary school. Back then, her class took trips to school book fairs. She says she’d obsess over the detective books and spend the little money she had on these kids’ Crime Scene Investigation kits.

Plus, Bang Bang tells me, “I was hella poor and we only had two channels; the Spanish Channel and the channel that just plays Law and Order all the time.”

And the drugs? “I been doing real drugs since I was 13,” Bang Bang explains. Back then it was “Thizz” (a nasty tasting meth20

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type drug which is chewed, resulting in the “Thizz face”), and Molly and Coke. She switched to pills senior year. Now she does $100 to $200 worth a day. “I got a hella high tolerance!” she says. She’s high right now. She’s trying to get her hands on some Suboxone so that she can take a “tolerance break” without suffering terrible withdrawals, which, for Bang Bang, include restless legs, insomnia and nausea.

I ask her how she sees the whole drug addict/dealer/cop/ stripper thing playing out. “You can be a stripper and a cop at the same time—as long as you ain’t hoin’,” Bang Bang assures me. “It ain’t illegal.” And the drug dealing, I ask? “Well, when I’m a cop, I’ll prolly just deal to my friends.” Plus, Bang Bang explains, the arrangement will have extra conveniences: she can sell confiscated drugs and get her friends out of trouble.

At this point in our conversation I’m basically freaking out. I’m really worried about this girl. And I’m having all sorts of ethical quandaries. First of all, it feels like she’s going to hurt herself with this interview. Maybe get fired. (And would that be such a bad thing?) Secondly—though I’m here to be an observer—I’m feeling a strong impulse to interfere in Bang Bang’s life.

I tell her it sounds like she’s headed for disaster. I ask her if she’s calling out for help. “Nah,” she says. She’s “got it under control.” She actually uses that phrase.

Bang Bang’s dad works in construction and her mom is a hairdresser. They fought all the time. “I had to hear shit a little kid shouldn’t be hearing, you know what I’m saying?” Bang Bang says. “Like, ‘your mom has been cheating with all these guys, she’s a whore,’ or ‘your dad has been going to strip clubs and prostitutes every single day.’”

Her parents eventually split up. “The fucked up thing is, we had the option to choose who to live with. My sisters chose our mom. But I chose my dad. He was a good dad, you know what I’m saying? He got us everything we wanted, even if it was financially impossible: Abercrombie, all the Barbies—the Barbie Club House. Then, one day, he said he was going on a business trip for three days. But he never came back. I was in sixth grade. He didn’t pay the bills. Like, the water shut off.

After a few weeks I called my mom and she picked me up.”

Bang Bang was ten. She didn’t hear from her dad again until she was 17. “I have to do this, to help my mom,” Bang Bang says. “Because she doesn’t have nobody else. The way that he left us, I didn’t have money for college, nothing.”

As we talk, her multiple fronts melt away. For brief moments she looks like a sad little girl covered in makeup, trying not to cry. But then she snaps back into “Bang Bang,” the tough girl.

“I always thought if I had to do what I had to do, I would—I don’t give a fuck; I ain’t never gave a fuck,” she says.

Bang Bang tells me that her stripper-hustling skills have migrated into the rest of her life. “I learned how to do it in the outside world too,” she says.

I ask her to explain. “Like, I’ll see that a guy likes me and I’ll pretend to like them back.” “I ain’t gonna lie. Hella guys I’ve dated, I’ve made ‘em go broke. Just the fact that you open up to them, they like that. They’ll feel like you trust them. Then

they’ll trust you. The world’s a fucked up place,” Bang Bang says with a hardened irony.

I want to make all sorts of Captain Obvious/Dr Phil/Psych 101 points re: her dad/her relationship to men. But I just sit there feeling sad and powerless.

(Note: by the time I went back a week later to do some fact checking, Bang Bang was already “no longer an employee” of Centerfolds, for undisclosed reasons.)

11. PICKING UP MY ONES Sitting out front with Ivy, the night of the hailstorm/tornado.

Ivy in Snuggie. Hail piled like cocaine.

“I’m the worst hustler ever now,” Ivy says. I ask her if she’s burning out on the whole thing. “It’s not a burn out as much as I grew up into who I am,” Ivy says. “There’s no part of me that can pretend to be engaged if I’m not into it.”

Ivy is 36. She’s been stripping on and off for sixteen years. In that News & Review article (see part 1) from a decade ago, Ivy is quoted as saying “[It’s] a great school job … I should be done in July because I’ll be graduating Chico State, so I’ll be ready to start a career.”

There are undoubtedly an array of social/psychological tolls that stripping takes on its practitioners; community alienation; callouses built up against all that degradation; all that falseness; all that acting.

Ivy says strippers are misunderstood. “Other girls think we’re sluts or we’re conceited,” she tells me. “And dating is really hard, too. Guys always assume I’m either a gold-digger or that I get off on lap dancing.”

But Centerfolds is also a home, a family, a refuge. “I come in nights full on knowing I’m not going to make any money,” she tells me. Ivy loves this club—a sentiment many of the other dancers (and the bouncer and DJ) share, too.

I mention her age; ask her what she’s going to do. “I struggle and panic about that every day,” she says.

We sit for a while. Ivy takes one big last drag off the cigarette she has pinched between her long purple nails. Then she stubs it out and goes back inside.

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

On The Town

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MAY 5, 2014

BY KOZ MCKEV

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Your focus is to be more open hearted and more creative this week. Venus in the first house helps you to pour on the charm. You’re looking better, as well as feeling more relaxed. Monday through Wednesday bring extra playfulness, along with a stronger will to express yourself. The things you want are within your grasp. Your mind is working better and your intellectual curiosity is up. The weekend looks good for romance, negotiations, and bringing a sense of justice back into your life.

Since you are the flavor of the month there is little need for you to be bashful.

It’s time for you to get out and circulate with the masses. Your imagination is rich. You’re figuring out new ways to increase your income. Be aware of your karma when it comes to relationships. Thursday and Friday look good for most creative activities. Work on organization and health issues over the weekend.

Find a service that you can get behind and pursue it with passion and a sense of commitment.

You are in the dream space where karma and imagination meet. On Wednesday a light will be turned on in your brain as Mercury goes into Gemini. Begin the week by practicing your favorite hobbies. Focus on family and domestic issues as we get into Thursday and Friday.

Continue to helps those who are isolated or are in worse shape than you. The weekend will be like a breath of fresh air for you. Work on creative projects, romance, and the ability to help your children or demonstrate leadership.

Be thankful for the now. You have more blessings going for you than you realize. Grateful people are said to have better relationships with other people. Find new ways to be inspired and creative at the workplace. Try new things when it comes to romance, marriage, and love affairs.

Be aware of friends who are offering you assistance. Be open to making new friends.

Make plans for the future, and seek positive solutions to whatever is challenging you. The weekend is good for Mom and domestic projects.

The week begins on a positive note with the moon in Leo. On Monday and Tuesday your influence will be strong.

Career, personal talents and skills and your relationship with the public is where your focus should go. Thursday and Friday could be good for making money, working with food, or making music. One of your goals is manifestation.

Be the kind of person who you would like to meet. The weekend looks good for short trips, writing, seeing old friends and siblings, and working with your hands.

Start seeing yourself as a winner. Know that risk taking activities are more likely to work out. You will get help from a surprise alliance. Go to places that you have never been to before. See yourself as ready to take on more advanced subjects. Late Wednesday night through early Saturday morning the moon will be in Virgo.

All ventures of a practical nature should go smoothly.

The weekend looks good for investing and making money.

Do what you can to preserve the good in your life.

Libra

Scorpio

Saggitarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Accept the fact that little is in your control during this period. Self improvement is the highest thing that you can work toward. It seems as if other people have the power that you desire. Asking for help can work miracles.

Your love life should be getting better. Pay attention to what your intuition is saying. By Wednesday you’ll be feeling more curious about things. The weekend features the moon in Libra.

Try not to push the envelope too hard. What you really need will come to you.

You’re on the outside looking in. It’s been difficult being fully conscious during this period of Mars retrograde through your twelfth house (March 1st – May 19th).

Those who don’t like you are looking for your weak points.

There is karma for how you have treated other people, as well. Forgiveness is more important than revenge.

Don’t waste your time in fear or anger. “Steady as she goes” is your new mantra.

You bring balance, romance, and wisdom to an otherwise boring period.

The demands of work, service to others, and staying healthy can be fairly difficult during this period.

You have some good ideas on maintaining a sense of balance. When we give to others we stimulate our own immune systems. Humility is key. Bluster and exaggeration will get you nowhere. What really matters in your heart will be made clear early in the week. Try to stay fairly close to home during the weekend.

Sharpen your skills and be available for neighbors, siblings and friends.

The good news is that you now have an opportunity to express your creativity and what really matters in your heart. Perfect your leadership skills. Thursday and Friday have you trying some new things in order to take the high road. Overcome your fears about being not good enough. No one is good enough. Trying and doing are what really count.

The weekend has you in the public eye. Your talents and skills will be seen by others. Do what you can to help family and to do things to improve your personal health.

Who do you feel you can trust? What sort of people are you generally comfortable with? Your social network needs to have a function of service. Digging a garden helps you to sustain life in your home. Concern over parents and elders is likely.

Rise up and be the mature one. Ask questions as to what you can do better.

The weekend looks good for getting out of town and having an adventure. Comfort and function need to go hand in hand. Your creative genius gets a boost toward the second half of the week.

Make a poem or a song out of your life. The sun transiting your third house brings a feeling of restlessness. It also helps you to identify the things you want to talk about or communicate. You are an essential part of the kind of healing that you seek to give and receive. Thursday and Friday look good for romance and for getting a contract. Do what you can to keep things mellow in order to avoid any further drama. Be sensitive to the needs of siblings, neighbors, and close friends.

Koz McKev is on YouTube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.1FM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horoscopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net

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