Synthesis Weekly Jan 21-27, 2013

FREE!

VOLUME 19 ISSUE 21

JANUARY 21'h, 2013

... and I have a

DRINKING PROBLEM

s nthesis

INSIDE THIS WEEK'S ISSUE

IMMACULATE INFECTION

05

COMICAL RUMINATIONS

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THE FIRST STEP Four alcohol-related student deaths last semester have opened up old wounds and caused a lot of discussion in this town about what we're doing right and what we're doing wrong.

At the Synthesis, we hope to engage the community in depth on this issue over the course of the next few months, starting with this week's cover story by Matt Olson, which reflects on the nature of the problem and offers a few ideas to open the discussion.

PUT A FORK ' - - - - - - ' - -L-'----'

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CAN'T STOP THE METAL Last Thursday night at the 1078 Gallery downtown, the entire metal community rallied around two new bands on the scene, Sorin and Io Torus, who opened for Bay Area headliners, Fallujah. Multiple Synthesis staff members were on the scene including writer Tommy Diestel, who gives us the full report on, so far, the heaviest show of 2013.

MAKE ROOM FOR DANNY

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syn.the.sis The composition or combination of parts or

THE 30 MILLION DOLLAR MAN This Friday we Chicoans will be graced with the presence of yet another famous comedian, Christopher Titus. Best known for his work on the now canceled Fox sitcom, Titus, the funny man has returned to life on the road as a touring comedian.

Synthesis writer and local comic, Steve Swim, grilled Titus on all the hot topics in his phone interview. Enjoy!

elements so as to form a whole b: the production of a substance by the union of chemical elements, groups, or simpler compounds or by the degradation of a complex compound c : the combining of often diverse conceptions into a coherent whole; also : the complex so formed

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Sara Calvosa sara@synthesis.net

Step 1. Admit You Have A Problem My fellow Chico Americans, I think we're all aware that there's a dialogue begging to happen when it comes to the drinking problem at Chico State. Everybody has an opinion, fingers are pointing, hardlines are being drawn, fine lines are being walked, and pearls are being clutched. My head has been spinning and I've changed my mind a thousand times about what to do, who's responsible, who isn't? There 's a fine line between asking students to take personal responsibility and blaming the victim. If we take a hardline on the personal responsibility angle it shuts down any discussion about what, if anything, the rest of us can/should do. Or is Chico State an incubator for brand new baby alcoholics, kids that are already predisposed for one reason or another?

And then there's that delightful little manifesto that was released by the University with all these endorsements at the bottom. Those prominent figures in our community, attaching their names to a call to action, those pillars of our society that didn't even bother to contact the Synthesis or any bar owners before agreeing that, "We need to confront the availability and low cost of drinks at downtown bars; the advertising and bar guides that promote cheap and excessive drinking ... etc:' How do you expect to confront these issues without inviting bar owners to the table to talk about it? "Our next steps include community meetings early in 2013 where experts, parents, students and University and community members can discuss the challenges and chart solutions:' Is "chart solutions" just a fancy way of saying, "blame the bar owners?"

We had a little meeting of bar owners here at the Synthesis offices and I was taken aback at their willingness to cooperate, compromise and come together to help. In spite of being overlooked and pariahed by the University, they were willing to come to the table. So make some fucking room at that table. We're all in it together, but at some point I think we're going to have to ask ourselves, "What is Chico State going to do to change their reputation?" And, "Are we all hypocrites?"

(I mean I'm drinking right now as I write this, knowwhatimean?) Or, "If the food & drink calendar is facilitating alcohol abuse, is it also facilitating obesity because we tell people where to get cheap chicken wings too?"

We have a lot of great perspectives in our issue this week and we plan on following this pretty closely. We care about you, you little larval baby party animals. We don't want you to die, we want you to drink responsibly and we want to see a cultural shift at Chico State. If you need help or think you might have a problem with alcohol, then please contact editorial@ synthesis.net and we would be glad to get you some information and the help you need. In the meantime, don't kill your friends by making them drink more than they should, girls, don't abandon your drunk bestie at the bar and make her walk home alone. Take care of each other.

JANU ARY 21 - JANU ARY 27, 201 3

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The Intentionally-Ironic Synthesis Drinking Game There is a lot of conversation around town concerning drinking in Chico and there are many sides of the debate. As you read about the many opinions stated here, grab a huge glass of water or your favorite juice and pay close attention to what's being said.

We recommend water because lord knows we could all drink more water. Here's your chance to achieve maximum hydration.

syn thesis For 19 years The Synthesis goal is to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness,

opinions and change.

PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett kathy@synmedia.net

MANAGING EDITOR Sara Calvosa editorial@synthesis.net

EDITOR Nolan Ford nolan@synthesis .net

Take a drink when you read the following words: - personal responsibility - prevention - tolerance - moral obligation - community - bar owners - judgement - excessive - parents

DESIGNERS Michaela Warthen Paige Cloke Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net

DELIVERIES Molly Roberts Joey Murphy

WRITERS Koz McKev, Bob Howard, Arielle Mullen, Ky Junkins, Guy Starvist, Jeremy Gerrard, Tommy Diestel, Jen Cartier, Steve Swim, Dillon Carroll, Kenneth Kelly, Howl, Matt Olson, Molly and Bryan Lex, Evan Billman, Jack Knight

PHOTOGRAPHY Vincent Latham Jessica Sid

CALENDAR

When you read the word Playboy: - Blow into your water making motorboat sounds then swallow the whole thing

Bethany Johnson calendar@synthesis.net

WIRES AND BLINKING LIGHTS Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net

BEAN COUNTER Ben Kirby

When you read word Chico: - Give your best over-excited yell. For example, "Wooooooo" or "Yeaaaaaaah" would be acceptable.

OWNER Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (and our law!). All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis.

The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@synthesis. net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

210 WEST 6TH STREET CHICO CA 95928 530.899.7708 INFO@SYNTHESIS.NET

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JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

IMMACULATE INFECTION Bob Howard madbob@madbob.com

Old School Blackberries I spent a go od chunk oflast weekend tearing blackberry vines out of the ground.

Blackberries are incredibly opportunistic, and will establish themselves wherever there is a consistent water supply. We find them growing all along the irrigation ditch that runs along the west side of the property and along the creek that runs from east to west, bisecting the property. The vines can have the ditch, so far as I'm concerned, but the creek is another matter. And so I rip, and I tear.

Still, they are a nightmare. The vines are like hard ropes covered with narrow, piercing thorns. When I pull these things, I cover myself from head to toe in boots, jeans, a rough leather coat, welding gloves, and a beanie. Regardless, I end up with the thorns in all sorts of odd places. Right now I have one lodged in the webbing between my second and third toe, and no idea how it got there.

"Initially there is a lot of cursing, but eventually I find

a rhythm, and the

· cursing sIows down. "

Blackberry vines are insidious. Wherever they touch ground, they root themselves.

So when you are pulling them out, you aren't done just because you found the roots and yanked them out. Then you have to follow the vines to the next root cluster. Even pulling them out by the roots isn't fool-proof; they leave behind rhizomes, and the vines will re-emerge in the spring. But they come back smaller, and if you keep on top of them, they are much easier to deal with once you've torn out the established colonies.

Now is the right time to deal with the blackberries. I don't mean that in the proverbial "seize the day!" manner, I mean now, when the ground is soft, and the cold weather has weakened the plants, is the time to get them out. There is no way I'm dealing with these things in the summer, when the vines are robust and the ground is hard and dry.

I'm too cheap to buy a fresh pair of welding gloves for the job, so instead I use an old pair that has holes burned into the left thumb and forefinger. It takes me a while to figure out how to grip the plants without the thorns jabbing my exposed skin through the holes.

Initially there is a lot of cursing, but eventually I find a rhythm, and the cursing slows down.

Last year I used fire to burn the dead vines out.

That was fun, because introducing fire to just about any activity increases the entertainment value, but ultimately I don't think it was any more productive. This year I am using good old elbow grease and, occasionally, a shovel for the dense clumps. So far so good, but a long way yet to go ...

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COMICAL RUMINATIONS Zooey Mae zooeymae@synthesis.net

Gorilla Porn Warfare I have a friend who used to be one of Koko's personal attendants. For those of you who might be unaware, Koko is a gorilla residing at the San Francisco Zoo, who holds a claimto-fame of being extremely well-versed in sign language. My friend ultimately departed from his position there after some rather dicey sexual harassment charges were filed and the workplace became overtly tense. It seems as though part of Koko's initial "getting to know you" process involved asking her new acquaintances to lift up their shirts.

Apparently not everyone on staff found the practice amusing; a few women felt her request constituted a clear violation of their rights, and filed sexual harassment charges against the gorilla.

I was reminded of this incident when I stumbled across a story on Gawker about a zoo in Spain that inadvertently caused a chimpanzee to become hooked on porn.

Employees at the zoo installed a television in the chimpanzee Gina's cage, and found that after only a few days she was amazingly adept at using the remote. She also seemed to prefer the porn channel. Now to me, this begs the question why did the TV have a porn channel? Is that standard in Spain? Should we all move to Spain now?

For those of you who have never known what it's like to work in the restaurant industry, this one goes out to you. I've spent about ten years, off and on, working in different restaurants and bars, and with complete sincerity I am telling you, until you've worked

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JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

in the industry, you have no idea what it's like, or how physically, emotionally, and psychologically taxing it can be. I'm a firm believer that everyone should at some point in their adult life work in the field. There's a level of understanding that you can't even begin to scratch the surface of until you've experienced it firsthand. By"it" I mean having a customer leave you a handful of buttons or a psalm booklet instead of a tip on a hefty bill, be forced to feign a calm exterior while delivering painfully hot entree plates to a table, or any other number of soul-crushing instances which occur on a dailysometimes hourly basis.

Imagine my delight then, when I read on Foodbeast about a cafe in Italy who gives discounts for customers with manners. The sign posted out front translates to: "One Coffee= $3.00, One Coffee Please = $2.00, Good Morning, make me a coffee please= $1.00:' This kind of reminds me of when my parents would have to bribe me to clean my room. I can't decide whether this idea is really awesome or really depressing.

What do you think, dear reader? Would it take a discount to coax some manners into your daily interactions? It'd be nice if people were polite for the intrinsic value in perpetuating human kindness, but discounts are pretty dandy too. Quandary. image source hollywoodgorillamen.com

SYNTH ESISWE EKLY.COM

PUT A FORK IN IT

Tips for a Successful Night of Drinking!

Jen Cartier blushcatering@gmail.com

Foraging Does anyone drive by all the citrus trees in town, or step over fallen fruit on the sidewalk and sigh, "All that waste?"

I do. So this week, I'm encouraging foraging for wild, untended, even semi-domestic fruit in winter. Of course, if said fruit tree bearing uneaten gems is, in fact, in someone's yard, please ask permission before picking, but if not, why let it all rot on the concrete?

I have, while biking through neighborhoods, picked citrus from branches that hung over the sidewalk, and while the flavor of the fruit ranged from extremely tart to exceedingly delicious, that's part of the fun peeling back rinds to see what kind of gift lies beneath, and appreciating feral fruit whether sweet or sour.

If I were waxing philosophical for a moment (which I almost always am) I would say that foraging is so much a metaphor for life. We pick what we find, what looks promising, and sometimes we get exactly what we're looking for; sometimes not. But, by getting to a root (or in this case, branch) level existence, we encounter life at its purest: searching for subsistence in our surroundings, finding not only calories, but hopefully, pleasure, too.

I recently went with my friend, Erica, to her grandparent's house, where a small mandarin orchard benevolently bore a hefty load of delicious, fresh fruit. We giggled and cut softened fruit from pregnant branches while snapping photos in the sunshine with the family dog by our sides.

Tip #1 Designated drivers can still drink non-alcoholic beverages and fit in.

Many non-alcoholic drinks look like alcoholic drinks. If you feel hasseled, order a Shirley Temple or Roy Rodgers. You'll save money too.

crete, I'd rather have orchards below my feet.

Isn't that why we all live in Chico?

Tip #2 Know how much alcohol is in your beverage of choice. The proof number is twice the percentage of the alcohol content measured by volume (i.e. 80 proof is 40% alcohol). Not all alcohol is the same and you may accidentally consume too much.

Erica also informed me that this time of year mandarins are sweeter because they've been through some serious cold.

Late-season mandarins (as opposed to late November mandarins) have a higher sugar content than their early-season counterparts since they ripen on the tree.

But once picked, mandarins don't continue to ripen as other fruit does. Also, the citrus must be cut from the tree, and not picked, to ensure the branches will produce for the next season's harvest.

Tip #3 Drink a glass of water for every drink you have. It will keep you hydrated, and may also lessen your chances of having a hangover.

Tip #4 NEVER Mix alcohol with legal and illicit drugs!

It is hard on your liver, kidneys and can be deadly. Mixing cocaine with alcohol is much more toxic than cocaine, increasing the risk of a heart attack 25% and lowers the seizure threshold.

Taking prescription narcotics like Norco, Vicodin, or Percocet with alcohol can be fatal.

Tip #5 NEVER leave a friend alone that is obviously over-intoxicated, incoherent or vomiting. Get help!

The most common reason Chico students do not call for help is because they are afraid of getting into trouble with the law enforcement. Never be afraid to help yourself or a friend.

Save these numbers in your phone: Chico Police: (530) 895-4911 University Police: (530) 898-5555 EMERGENCY: 911

Foraged Mandarin Syrup (for your morning pancakes, ice cream, or cocktails) Foraged mandarins (enough for 1 cup of juice) 1/4 cup sugar, more to taste if your fruit is particularly tart (or try orange honey) 1 star anise 1 cinnamon stick 1/2 tsp. real vanilla extract A pinch of fine grain sea salt 1 tbsp. unsalted butter

KNOW YOUR LIMIT! r

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Moments like that call to mind lyrics from a song Erica recently wrote: You prefer con-

FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

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Number of Drinks 0

1 2

3

Juice the mandarins into a medium saucepan and cook over medium-low heat with the sugar and spices until the sugar is dissolved and the syrup becomes thick enough to coat the back of a spoon. Remove and discard (or shit, chew on) the anise and cinnamon stick.

Add the salt and mix well. Remove from the heat, stir in the butter until melted and fully incorporated. Serve over pancakes. Yes!

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F M F M

F M F M

F M F

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Jllr .00 .06 .07 .12 .13 .18 .20 .24 .26 .30 .33

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BLOOD ALCOHOL CONTENT (BAC) Table for Male (M) I Female (F) Bod_.t. Wei_g_ht in Pounds 120 140 160 180 220 200 Jllr .00 Jllr ~ JHr Jllr

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.05 .09 .09 .13 .14 .17 .19 .21 .24

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.03 .04 .07 .07 .10 .11 .13 .15 .17 .18

.03 .03 .06

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.07 .09 .10 .12 .13 .15 .17

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.05 .08 .09 .11 .12 .14 .15

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,

Impaired (SWPOl'inkriQ)

Highly Intoxicated

Subtract .01 % for each 40 minutes of drinking.

1 drink = 1.5 oz. 80 proof liquor, 12 oz. 5% beer, or 5 oz. 12% wine.

Fewer t han 5 persons out o f 100 will exceed th ese va lues.

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HELLO My Name Is:

CHICO And I Have A Drinking Problem

by Matt Olson Mason Sumnicht, a pledge to Sigma Pi at Chico State, died on November 15th after a night of heavy drinking at local bars. He was celebrating his 21st birthday by drinking 21 shots with the help of his fraternity brothers. His life ended with severe brain damage and 12 days of life support in the hospital. The tragedy of the loss of a young man with his whole life ahead of him cannot be overstated. Unfortunately, such a tragic event is not as uncommon in Chico as it should be. This was the fourth alcohol-related student death in the fall semester - Shawn Summa, Brett Olson, and Carly Callaghan all lost their lives in the last four months.

These are just a few of the highest profile cases in recent months, but the list goes on and on - drunk driving, hazings, sexual assaults, rapes, drownings, alcohol poisonings, stabbings - crimes related directly to the high rate of alcohol consumption by students and the community at large.

Chico has long cultivated a party culture, and if you look at our history, we go through cycles of increasingly uncontrolled behavior followed by public outcry and attempts to moderate it. There's Pioneer Days, an annual week-long alcohol-fueled bacchanalia where anything that could happen, did. Playboy dubbed Chico State America's #1 party school in 1987, and that year the parties led to full-on riots, complete with street fires and overturned cars. The President of the school at the time, Robin Wilson, met

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JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

with local officials, who agreed to shut down the event with police force, famously saying that he "took it out back and shot it in the head:' Then there's the 2008 riots, when Chico Police attempted to break up a party at 6th & Cherry, and students retaliated and rioted downtown. Then there's Halloween, which used to draw tens of thousands of people from all over the state for a massive street party, which then devolved into increasingly violent behavior until the festivities in 2001 saw four stabbings, 36 assaults (two sexual), two dozen car accidents, and various acts of vandalism. This was followed by a crackdown the following year composed of 400 officers from across the North State, many on horseback, phalanxes of police walking the streets in groups of six to ten, DUI checkpoints, helicopters, and in later years advertisements run statewide featuring cops rounding up revelers and menacing voices saying, "The party is over".

Why the history lesson? This writer believes we are about to experience another crackdown. It's not a very bold prediction. The President of the University, Paul Zingg, has already suspended the fraternities and sororities on campus, refusing to reinstate their charter until they agree to some yet-to-be-determined restrictions. In addition, he and other community leaders have published a call to action (http://www.csuchico. edu!prs!documents!callforcommunityaction.pdj) asking for everyone to work together to moderate alcohol consumption in Chico.

This is clearly a multifaceted issue that does not lend itself

to a simple analysis or a single point of blame. Part of the issue, clearly, is that some students come to Chico State specifically because they want to party. It still has a reputation as a party school, despite the restrictions put in place since the '80s. Surveys show that 35% of incoming freshmen report participating in binge drinking during their senior year of high school, significantly higher than the national average of 22%. Once here, students report feeling pressure to drink heavily, and the culture created on campus, and to some extent throughout the community, certainly contributes to that.

It shouldn't be surprising that students predisposed to heavy drinking, immersed in a party culture, in a town where cheap alcohol is everywhere, will get themselves into trouble. The question is: what responsibility, if any, do the institutions and businesses we set up - the University, the City, downtown bars and clubs, and the community as a whole - have in helping students avoid truly dangerous situations, whether it be alcohol poisoning, hazing, or sexual assaults? Does it actually help to set up new rules and regulations, or will lasting change only come with a shift in culture?

I've spoken with a dozen or so individuals, everyone from long-time residents, to students, to downtown bar owners, and I'm an ideas guy, so please allow me to synthesize these discussions into a few ideas. Hopefully this will stimulate further discussion and community resolve around achievable change.

Fraternities You must renew your commitment to brotherhood.

Pressuring a brother to drink dangerous volumes of alcohol is a betrayal, as is providing alcohol to a brother once he has exceeded his body's tolerance. Nobody wants to kill your party, but certainly a good time can be had by all without

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

anyone dying. Take the time to learn the very real limitations of the human body and to detect dangerous levels of intoxication. You have a moral obligation, and if you don't meet your responsibility, your charter will be revoked.

tional memory among the student population. The high turnover rate means that new students don't necessarily appreciate how dangerous excessive alcohol consumption can be. This constant reminder/buzzkill will help to counterbalance the pull of the drinking culture.

You should bring local bar owners into the discussion.

Notably missing from your call to action are the names of any local bar owners. I met with five who said they were never contacted or consulted prior to its publication, but would have welcomed the opportunity to participate in the discussion. I think you'll find some unlikely allies if you approach the issue in a balanced way.

The University Your primary role is one of education. Require a comprehensive health and safety course for all new students (freshmen and transfers) surrounding issues of excessive alcohol consumption, interactions between prescription pills and alcohol, and sexual assault prevention. Ensure that it's interesting and fun so students actually want to attend and pay attention. Invite community members, bartenders, and former students who have dealt with the consequences of alcohol abuse to present their perspectives.

Increase your academic standards. Eliminate curved grading. Hold more classes on Friday afternoons and Monday mornings. You are an academic institution that needs to take academics more seriously.

Erect a memorial in a prominent location to all those we've lost to drug and alcohol abuse. There is very little institu-

Parents The fact that 35% of incoming freshmen are already binge drinkers points to a glaring lack of parental guidance in the lives of these young people prior to their arrival.

Parents must take an active role in discussing the dangers of excessive alcohol consumption. We clearly need to get

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the message across a lot sooner than we have been. Rather than burying your head in the sand and hiding behind blanket prohibitions, we need to realize that kids are getting into stuff earlier and earlier. Here in Chico, parties with alcohol are happening as early as middle school. Parents clearly have a huge role to play in monitoring their kids and talking about alcohol early and often, right alongside discussions of drug use (including prescription pills) and safe sex.

Bar Owners You have a moral and legal obligation to bounce underage kids and to look all of your customers in the eye and cut them off if they've reached their limit. If you provide alcohol to someone that is clearly wasted, you have crossed the line from service provider to predator. The vast majority of Chico's bar owners recognize this, and operate honest, legal businesses and take their responsibility seriously. However, some are playing fast and loose with their licenses - Riley's served ten shots in 75 minutes to Mason Sumnicht the night he was hospitalized. Clearly, they fell short of their responsibility to cut off overly intoxicated customers that night.

You are not simply a small business meeting the demands of the market. Yours is a special case, where your customer's demand may or may not be genuine. The first few might be, but as someone gets progressively hammered, their judgement has been compromised and you have an obligation to moderate their otherwise dangerous behavior. You are also in some cases dealing with a complicated group dynamic that is encouraging excessive consumption. Your role is to know when to serve and when to stop serving. It's probably best to serve smaller quantities so you can keep an eye on things - serving pitchers of vodka is not going to give you the level of granularity you need.

Continued on page 10 JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

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TECH SUPPORT Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net

Chico's Drinking Problem Continued from page 9

accruing to the community. We ought to be able to pick the best and brightest among them and recruit them to stay here, start businesses, and help our community prosper. We can do this by creating an incubator for startups composed of the most talented and driven students, supplemented by experienced entrepreneurs from the community.

For example, if we want to grow the web/ mobile software sector in Chico, we incubate companies composed of Computer Science, Communication Design and Business students, with mentorship, support, or possibly leadership from those in the community with relevant industry experience. This would not only give students valuable experience starting a company while in college, but hopefully would help them establish long-term roots in Chico and grow our local economy.

The City Passing new laws or regulations is unlikely to have any effect. You don't have the staff to enforce them! It is entirely likely that your attempt to further regulate alcohol consumption will have unintended side effects. One might argue that shutting down Pioneer Days, Halloween, and St. Patrick's Day and forcing downtown bars out of business has simply pushed the problem elsewhere - to house parties that are completely impossible to regulate. We have plenty of laws already - your challenge is to find the resources to enforce them.

These are just a few ideas. We at the Synthesis hope to engage the community in depth on this issue over the course of the next few months, and facilitate an ongoing conversation that will hopefully remain constructive and focused on achievable change.

Please contact us with any insights or ideas you have on this very important topic.

Community Members We all have a role to play in engaging University students, bringing them into the community, and offering constructive channels for their youthful energy as an alternative to constant partying. This will not only help moderate dangerous levels of alcohol consumption, but can also serve the long term interests of students and the community at large. Let me explain.

The economy is in pretty sore shape. We all recognize the need to revitalize and grow local business. We have a student population that for the most part comes here from other areas, parties hard, and leaves in four years, with very little long-term benefit

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PHOTO CREDIT richardcclark (flickr.com) mntbikrrr (flickr.com)

JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

Teh Booze Hi. My name is Dain and I'm an alcoholic. in life. Personal responsibility must make a I'm also an admitted jackass on most subjects comeback. and am never one for being overly serious, except when it comes to drinking. That's a I was in the Synthesis office during the recent subject I take quite seriously. I have been meeting of bar owners and what I heard clean of drugs and alcohol since February made me sad for them. Here is a group of 19th, 2007. I drank heavily in Chico for many business owners that have been extremely years, becoming well regulated, blacklisted, known amongst the ones 1scuss1on scorned, punished, kicked, and urinated bar and party circuit. I landed a DUI in 2000 must happen earlier on. Every time there is and still acted like a a casualty of alcohol, in life. Personal brat for many years they become the easy after. Family, friends, target. Why them? It's responsibility must easier for someone and associates would tell me I should watch make a comeback." to buy liquor from a it; that I drank too convenience store (less chance of being carded) much. My drinking started as a fun and wild time, which eventuor a supermarket (much larger sales window between the hours of 6AM and 2AM). ally turned into a severe problem (as others saw it. I thought I was awesome.) I didn't see Stores are cheaper too. Yet it's the bars that get it as a problem until years later when I nearly slammed. Regulating and/or punishing bars will serve no purpose to achieve the desired DIED and only then was I willing to admit I goal when I can just as easily acquire alcohol had a problem and go through a program of from stores or house parties. The bars are recovery. simply an easy target for a public that is too overwhelmed with a much larger problem, In my journey to sobriety I learned that alcothat goes much deeper than the physical busihol was not the problem, I was the problem. ness or even the glass bottle.

I was using booze as an excuse for whatever happened that day. It wasn't until I was ready to get honest with myself and take a hard Our drinking problem lies within. look at my actions that I was able to realize my excessive partying, binging, and doing I've had it said to me that if you can get sober drugs was less about it being available and in Chico, you can get sober anywhere. There more about how I viewed my self-worth as a may be some truth to that. Really though, member of humanity.

I think you CAN get sober anywhere. It's staying sober that's key. You have to want it. I This runs counter to what many are shouting, have to want it. If I don't want to be sober, if but I feel that trying to fix the current crop of I don't value and respect my sobriety over all, problem students is a lost cause; their behavthen what's to stop me from that next drink?

Certainly not some regulations or a commuiors and peer groups are set. The education programs being called for would have needed nity call to action. It's a nice gesture. Perhaps to be instilled back in Junior High before that's how it all starts; admitting we have a peer groups and social practices hardened problem with alcohol. into acceptable habit. They wanna party like assholes and make bad decisions? Not much Chico has a giant range of substance abuse we can do about that other than provide programs and help available. If you have guidance and information on how to get help comments or need help with alcohol you can and hopefully remove the stigma of asking for email me: dain@synthesis.net help. Honest discussion must happen earlier Party on.

"H

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SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

•in+morion FITnErI + R,&SORT

HEAL TH CLUB

CAFE

1293 E First Ave, Chico I 343-5678 I www.inmotionfitness.net

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JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

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11

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CLOSED

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MON CLOSED

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Sl off Call liquor and bottled beer

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BPM-Close S3.SO Jim Beam, Captain Morgan and Jameson

ll-2PM S2.SO Dom & Sierra Nevada Drafts

3-6PM S3.SO Dbl Wells B-Close

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Daily Happy Hour' from 4-7PM PBR S2.2S Everyday!

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purchase

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Wednesday 9pm: DANCE NIGHT! DJ SPENNY & JEFF HOWSE

337 Main St. • 530-343-17 45 Please Drink Responsibly

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JANU ARY 21 - JANU ARY 27, 2013

w/ fries

After 6PM S2 PBR or Coors Original

Before 6PM SI PBR SS Pitchers PBR or Coors After 6PM S2 PBR

IOAM-2PM SS Bottles of Champagne

10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/ Bread S7.99 Bpm-Close S4 Jager SS DBL Vodka Red Bull 10-Close

or Coors Original

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or

JAZZ NIGHT- Martini

Nevada Drafts Frozen Cocktails

w/ fries

salad S3.99

FREE Pool after lOPM

53 Soccer Moms,

No cover before 9PM

Chicken Strip Sand only S6 before 6 PM

Jr Grad Burger

SS Smirnoff Blasters SS Dbl Roaring Vodka

3-6PM S3 SO Dbl Wells B-Close S2 .SO Dom & Sierra

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DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm SI Beer SI Wells S2 Doubles

S2 Kami Shot, SS DBL Well Vodka Before 6PM SI PBR SS Pitchers PBR or

SS Martinis

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GAME NIGHT! SI PBR all night

SI off Call liquor and bottled beer

FRI

MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE

Coors Original

Dom Drafts S3.SO Dbl Wells & Kami shots

Happy Hour 4-BPM S3 Wells and Drafts

Before 6PM SI PBR SS Pitchers PBR or

3-6PM S3.SO Dbl Wells 6PM - close SB Dom Pitcher S9 SN Pitcher 2 DOLLAR TUESDAY!

at The Beach 9PM S3 14oz or S4 20oz Add shot SI 9,30Pm-midnight VIP Ultra Lounge

SUN

Daily Happy Houc from 4-7PM PBR S2 .2S Everyday!

Nevada Drafts

Food & Drink specials!

11AM-2PM S2.50 SN & Dom Drafts 2-close S2 .SO wells &

TUE

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Friday 4-7pm: HAPPY HOUR! THE PUB SCOUTS SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

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BEAR-E-OKE

OPEN MIC - ACOUSTIC

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for SS.29. llam-IOpm.

MUG NIGHT

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S2 Marqis S3 Cuervo Marqis

Happy Hour llAM til end of game S2.7S Wells, select drafts and bottles Free chili

S2 All Day

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$2 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts 52 Kamis -any fhvor

BEAR WEAR! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear.

MUG CLUB 4-IOPM

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S2.SO Corona's & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM SI Dom draft, S2 SN draft, SI.SO wells,

SS Smirnoff mango cosmo S2.SO Scotch on the rocks

KARAOKE 9-CLOSE S3 Pacifico drafts S4 Dbl Moscow Mule

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S2.2S PBR S2.7S Well & Dom. All day - Every day

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8-IOPM Sl Sierra Pale Ale, Domestics & well cocktails up IOPM-close

Cami

25¢ per hour-close

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STARTING 1/21/13

4 GAMES, 1 WEEK

ALL HERE! WEDNESDAY ALL DAY

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$2 For 3 Wings $2.50 SN Pint

$3 .50 Jim Beam, Captain Morgan and Jameson

Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM

THURSDAY Happy Hour MondayFriday 4pm-7pm S2 52 S2 52

All 16 oz Teas or AMF S3 All Day

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TRIKE RACES! Post time@ !Opm. Win T-shirts and Bear Bucks.

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S3 Tea of the Day S3.50 Sky Vodka Cocktails

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Happy Hour ll-6PM select wells, bottles and pints S2.7S

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Buck Night 8-close

8-CLOSE $3 Soccer Moms $5 Smirnoff Blasters $5 DBL Roaring Vodka

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Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9PM-Close S3 Pale Ale Drafts S9.7S Pale Pitchers Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM

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TRIVIA 9PM

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FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

JANUARY 21 - JANU ARY 27, 2013

13

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24rH Cold Blue Mountain CD Release & Mini Tour Kickoff

Snow Goose Festival THE PACIFIC FLYWAY Come and celebrate this magnificent spectacle of nature, the migration of the majestic snow goose, at the Snow Goose Festival of the Pacific Flyway! With an estimated population exceeding 5 million, tens of thousands will be right in our own backyard. Don't leave your cars uncovered, your sunroofs open, or your convertible tops down as you're out nature walking, and workshop enjoying. Many of the field trips and

TOWN& LOUNG&

HOT TRASH DANCE NIGHT! with Dl2k

You never know what we're gonna plav!

DJ Ted Shred@ 9PM

f!,~t'i1 Welcome to

Crown Town!

1078 GALLERY This is a really big deal. These guys are awesome. And local. And they rock. And they're going to be playing at 1078 Gallery with Into the Open Earth, Lords of Perdition and Astronaut, $5 ticket buys the whole seat, but you'll only need the edge. All ages, 8 o'clock sharp!

workshops are selling out fast, so sign up ASAP!

www.snowgoosefestival.org

• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • DownLo: Game night with DJ Blue Room Theatre: God of Danny K. 7PM. Carnage starring Amanda DetBand Creator (Paradise): The Hub: Flip It Tuesdays - 25¢ mer. 7:30PM. $15/$18/$20.

Capsize, Every Hand Betrayed, Cafe Flo: Live jazz w/ Carey for a drink? If you win the toss, A Plague Upon Her, Io Torus. that's all it will cost! DJ spinning Robinson Trio. 5-7PM. Fol8PM. $7. All Ages.

90's and today's hits. 9PM-1AM. lowed by Pick of the Week The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9PMLaSalle's: '90s night, 21 +.

- Aaron and his special guest.

Close.

7-9PM. Laxson Auditorium: Chico Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour. Performances presents: An Inti- Crazy Horse Saloon: Wild 5-7PM. dance lessons, mechanical bull, mate Evening with Clint Black DownLo: 9-Ball League. 9PM. Crazy Horse Girls, DJ Hot Rod - Country Legend. 7:30PM. Last Call Lounge: Karaoke.

Ent. 8-lOPM. Maltese: Karaoke 9PM-Close.

8PM-12AM. Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke.

Chico Women's Club: West Maltese: Open Mic Night 8:30PM-1AM. African Dance with Imelda Acoustic Night. Signups @ 8, The Tackle Box: Karaoke with Mata. Live drumming. Fun for Starts@ 9. Mug Night. men, women, and kids. 5:30DJ Shelly. 8PM. Woodstock's: Spelling Bee For 7PM. $10.

Trinity United Methodthe Grown Ups. 6:30-7:30PM. ist Church of Chico: Audie DownLo: 8-Ball League. 7PM. Blaylock & Redline (Bluegrass).

Duffy's: Dance night! DJ 7PM. $20. All ages.

Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9PM. Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge.

Feather Falls Casino: Dance lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Call @ 4PM on date to reserve a Club.

Dress to impress! 9:30PM. Dreamwork Circle - Share table.

6:30 PM. $5 cover includes one drink. dreams & explore techniques 21+. for discovering their secrets.

The Hub: Karaoke.

6:30-8PM. $10.

Joe's: Karaoke. 9PM to lAM. The Bear: Bear Wear! 1/2 off lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: LaSalle's: Sawmill Creek, The while wearing Bear Wear. Mug Open Mic. Singers, songwriters, Mountains, TBA. 9PM. $3. 21 + Club 4-lOPM. musicians, vocalists and comeMaltese: Smashed Spelling Bee. Cafe Flo: Open Mic with Aaron. dians. All ages welcome. 7PM. 9PM. 7-9PM. The Bear: Trike Races. WintTowne Lounge: Black Fong shirts and Bear Bucks. Post time 9PM. No cover, lOPM. Mug club 4-lOPM.

21MONDAY

22TUESDAY

23WEDNESDAY

VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The Beach): Laurie Dana. 7-9PM. Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. Call @ 4PM on date to reserve a table. 8PM.

24 THURSDAY 1078 Gallery: Cold Blue Mountain, Into The Open Earth, Lords of Perdition. Doors 7:30PM, Show 8PM. $5.

Blue Flame Steakhouse: Piano with Jim Park 6-9PM. Blue Room Theatre: God of Carnage starring Amanda Detmer. 7:30PM. $15, $18, $20.

Cafe Flo: Improv Jam (Open to all that want to jam). 5-7PM. Followed by Blues Unplugged.

8-lOPM. DownLo: Live jazz. 8PM. Has Beans: Open Mic Night.

7-lOPM. Sign-ups start@ 6PM. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz.

6-9PM. LaSalle's: Happy Hour on the patio - The Jeff Pershing Band.

6-9PM. No cover.

Lost On Main: Dancehall featuring - Woodey Noble & Ras-Ijah Eternal fyah with Lava

Panv With Drag Queens!

DJ 2K and DJ Jpeg Starting at 9pm

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JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

THURSDAY, JANUARY 24rH

SATURDAY, JANUARY 26rH

Magic The Gathering: Gatecrash Pre-Release

An Evening With Ha'Penny Bridge

CHICO MAGIC

CAFE CODA

It's that special time of the year again and the nerds are in a frenzy.

This Thursday night, the Chico Magic shop located downtown will reveal the latest MTG expansion set at exactly midnight.

Fans of the popular strategy card game will get their first taste of Gatecrash in the form of a draft tournament with various prizes.

To quote The Matrix, "It's a very exciting time!"

Ha' Penny Bridge is one of those special musical treats you get from living in a small town like Chico.

Songwriter, Mark McKinnon, leads his fellow Celtic minstrels through the gambit of beautiful tunes that make you feel like you're at an authentic Irish pub surrounded by joyous drunkards. This Saturday the best place to raise a pint and enjoy quality music with friends is Cafe Coda. 8PM. $5. All ages.

•••• ••••••••• ••••• ••••••••• ••••• •••• •••••••••••••• ••••• • Squad. 9PM-2AM. Maltese: Karaoke. 9PM-Close.

Panama's: Eclectic NightsBuck Night & DJ Eclectic spinning your favorites of today and yesterday on the back patio.

9PM. Quackers: Karaoke Night with Andy. 9PM-1AM.

25 FRIDAY 1OOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Writing Group - Write, share, and workshop your pieces.

3:30-5PM. The Beach: Doors 9PM, $2 cover includes $2 off drink coupons & entrance into UBar and Panama's.

Blue Flame Steakhouse: Piano with Jim Park 6PM-9PM. Blue Room Theatre: God of Carnage starring Amanda Detmer. 7:30PM. $15, $18, $20.

Cafe Flo: Sean Martin (EP Release/Farewell Show), Kyle Williams, Lisa Valentine. 8PM. All ages.

DownLo: Living Karaoke Band - Rolling Stones Night, a benefit for The Bookstore.

Duffy's: Pub Scouts. 4-7PM

El Rey Theatre: Christopher Titus w/ Rachel Bradley. Doors 7:30PM, Show 8PM. $25 adv.

Kelly's Tavern (Lake Oroville Golf Course): Karaoke with Mora Sounds. 7- llPM. LaSalle's: DJ Event. 8PM. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz.

6-9PM. Maltese: LQGTQA+Dance Party. 9PM. Monstro's: The Oisters, Satya Sena (Oakland metal), Mom and Dad. 8PM. $5. All ages.

Peeking: BassMint - Electronic Dance Party. 9:30PM. $1 Quackers: Live DJ. 9PM T-Bar: Live music 7-8:30PM. Tackle Box: Live music with Highway 20 Band. 9PM. Tortilla Flats: Latin Nights.

Espanol & English DJ dancing with DJ (El, Kora) de Chico.

9PM.

26SATURDAY 1OOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knitting Circle. 2-4PM. 1078 Galllery: Guitar Project with Warren Haskell & Friends.

Doors 7PM, Music 7:30PM. $10

ARE YOU INTERESTED IN SOCIAL

($5 seniors & students).

Blue Flame Steakhouse: Piano with Jim Park 6PM-9PM. Blue Room Theatre: God of Carnage starring Amanda Detmer. 7:30PM. $15, $18, $20.

Cafe Coda: An Evening With Ha'Penny Bridge. 8PM. Cafe Flo: Bluegrass Jam with Lucy Smith (Open to all).

1-4PM. DownLo: Quasi Mofos.

Farwood Bar & Grill (Orland): Chuck Epperson featuring Eric Peter. 8:30-10:30PM. Habitat Lab (199 E. 13th St, Chico): Free Puppetry Workshop - The Procession of the Species, an annual puppet parade that is part of the Butte Environmental Council Endangered Species Faire offers hands-on instruction in designing and creating puppets ranging from hand-held papier-mache stick puppets to multi-person puppets over lOft tall. Pre-enrollment is recommended, but walk-ins are welcome. FREE. LaSalle's: 1980NOW! 8PM. Maltese: Live music w/ Shout

0

MEDIA? ARE YOU WELL-VERSED IN FACE BOOK, TWITTER AND PINTEREST? DO YOU LOVE MEMES? WE DO, TOO. FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

Bamalama and the Michelin Embers. 9PM. Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30PMlAM. No cover.

Tackle Box: Live Music with Phoenix. 9PM.

27SUNDAY 5th Street Steakhouse: Holly Taylor & Eric Peter Jazz Duo 6-9PM. Cafe Flo: SXO w/ Fera and She Fetus. Door 6:30PM, Show 7-9PM. Crazy Horse Saloon: Sunday Fun day.

LaSalle's: Sunday Karaoke.

8PM. Maltese: DJ JPEGOl 3-8PM. Trivia 8PM. Sierra Nevada Big Room: Big Mo & the Full Moon Band.

7:30-9:30. $20.

The Tackle Box: Karaoke with DJ Shelly. 9PM.

We are currently looking for Social Media Interns to assist in client research, updates and more.

If you're interested please contact Ashley Shaffer at ashleys@synmedia.net or by calling 530-899-7708. All applicants must provide a resume for this unpaid position.

Thank You to our participating restaurants! chicorestaurantweek.com POWER BOB it•T."G''Uil FM

f

1

~ti

92.7

synthesis

JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

1s

I

THE ARCHIVES Dillon Carroll dillon@synthesis.net

Roll Tide: Football & Integration On Monday of last week, the Alabama Crimson Tide football team defeated the Notre Dame Fighting Irish, 42-14. It was one of the most lopsided national championship victories in history, and discussions ensued about whether Alabama was, once again, a college football dynasty. What was lacking, in my opinion, was a reflection on how Alabama got back to the top-and a discussion on how much the team, and the South, has changed.

42 years ago, the University of Alabama football team was all white-the University had integrated in 1963but the football team had not. Paul "Bear" Bryant was the coach.

He had taken over in 1958, and he was already becoming a legend in the college football world. Between 1961-1966, Alabama was a powerhouse, winning three national championships. Near the end of the 1960s, Bear Bryant coached a team that had still refused to integrate. The University of Maryland recruited Darryl Hill in 1963, the first black player in the Atlantic Coast Conference. Jerry LeVias, an African American player from Beaumont, Texas, joined Southern Methodist University in 1966. Integration of college football was coming, but Alabama refused to read the writing on the wall. Instead, it would take two lopsided losses to convince the boosters that integration was no longer a question of if, but when.

In 1970, in the first game of the season, Alabama played the University of Southern California. USC had an all black backfield, led

by Jimmy Jones at QB, Clarence Davis at RB, and Sam Cunningham at FB. Sam Cunningham, in his first varsity game, ran roughshod over the Crimson Tide defense, rolling up 150 yards

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JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

and three touchdowns in a 42-21 beat down of the Tide. This was a monumental symbolic victory. Jones, Davis, and Cunningham sent a message to Alabama and the South: integration is coming, get on board, or get ready to lose.

The next year, Alabama had a great season and reached the national championship game where they faced off against the Nebraska Cornhuskers. On Nebraska's roster were many African Americans, many of whom were future award winners.

Johnny Rodgers, an African American from Omaha would win the Heisman Trophy in 1972.

Rich Glover, an African American from New Jersey, won the Outland Trophy and the Lombardi Trophy in 1972, and is widely considered one of the best defensive tackles to play college football. At Paul "Bear" Bryant halftime, the Cornhuskers led the Crimson Tide 28-0! The final score was a lopsided 38-6. This was another tremendous symbolic victory, demonstrating to Alabama, that black athletes were just as capable, if not better than white athletes.

Nebraska assistant coach at the time, Tom Osborne, remembered a time after that game when the Alabama assistant coaches asked him where he recruited his black players.

Osborne told them there were plenty of great black players in the state of Alabama. In 1995, Nebraska beat Michigan State University on the way to a national championship. On the field that day, Tom Osborne, now head coach, shook hands with the young head coach of MSU, Nick Saban. Saban, of course, went on to become head coach of Alabama and led them to three national championships.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

LEAVE IT TO DANNY Danny Cohen

The Dried Apricots/s.61/ep.13 I was in the 'Dangerous: Keep Away' market (Shemp Howard would pronounce it with an Australian accent as 'DANGEROO: KEP AWAI'). The manager, customer service rep, checkers, and baggers were braced for my attack. I felt I had it in me, but merely muttered "FUCKING IDIOTS!" (Like Daniel Baldwin, I weighed 210), slamming my Cossack hat on the counter. I was livid. It took 40 minutes to attend to two customers (after the service rep was located).

"I

calls, go online!" It was a ploy to get you off the phone, like the redundant suggestion to press 'l' and leave a message. No F'n way! I'd waited 20 minutes when a man answered. I refused to provide personal info beyond my phone and discount card number, recounting the saga, as he concurred with all my talking points, emboldening me to run the gamut of their incompetency: Passed expiration dates, stale bread, Chinese fish with toxic mercury, genetic fish, mistitled fish, faulty dairy cases, stale pizza on a brand-wide level, spoiled sale items, bad hooch, tannic, and turned wine from dubious distributors.

was returning dried

apricots that were

erroneously on sale. "

She was training another employee about how to process money orders simultaneously, before logging out for the day. I meekly asked if I could do a quick grocery return first, to no avail.

The manager told me to wait behind ten people in check stand eight for the trainee; I refused, so he opened nine. "This market has turned into a skanky bank so lowlifes can cash checks all day!" I was returning dried apricots that were erroneously on sale.

I tried to phone first, but no answer. It was 40 degrees. I'd walked, listening to 4 wheel drive cacophony, and people yelling at me about my hat; I was in no mood to wait for a price check.

I tried to shield the weekday manager, but it was too late for that.

My outer skull and scalp are mottled like a Kraft cheese single was melted over the cerebellum; like Road Warrior's, Humongous.

Hopefully, I'll never go bald. The brain must resemble a darkened, desiccated walnut, with cobwebs.

I pondered this as I equated my outburst with normalcy.

I'd stopped taking Ibuprofen (heartburn and lethargy), but that's another story, as Conan's chronicler would say. Had it been relaxing me? Would that explain the episode? Was it a psychotic one? At first I thought so, but talking to the regional rep, I realized it was Paradise all along!

Though it was Sunday, I called the regional office. "There's an unusually high volume of

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JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

11

I

SMALL TREATS Derp Derpowitz

Punched In The Face This week in Synthesis the editorial content is heavily focused around Chico's drinking problem.

Coincidentally, it was this same week that I experienced, for the first time in my life, getting punched in the face by a drunken buffoon.

" One

behavior when it comes to confrontation. It feels like I become slightly less of a Jerry Seinfeld and a bit more of a Larry David, if you catch my drift. Upon witnessing the initial act of violence I said something like, "Whoaaaaaa, man." The attacker 's accomplice quickly made his way towards me asking, "Yeah?

What are you gonna do about it?"

of them made

their presence known

by shoving a tall man flat onto his back ... "

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It all started as a normal Wednesday evening. After a short workout at Chico Sports Club, I returned home to clean my house in anticipation of a friend coming over for some dinner.

We watched the second half of Endless Summer 2 followed by the Simpsons ' Treehouse of Horror special I had taped on that same VHS back in 1997. After a few beers, I found the old school commercials to be especially enjoyable.

My friend and I eventually made our way down the street through the frigid cold to the best place to dance on a Wednesday night, Duffy's Tavern. At approximately 1:30AM, a large man announced that it was time to leave. As we joined the crowd of people chatting outside, two men came stumbling towards us from the direction of the central plaza. One of them made their presence known by shoving a tall man flat onto his back .. .

Now it's been awhile since I've been in a consistent gym routine, but in the past I've noticed a mild but distinct difference in my

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JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

I flashed back in time to a similar encounter that happened years ago over a game of billiards when my opponent threatened to "make me kiss the cue ball" following a match. Thanks to alcohol, my natural reaction was to look him in the eye and say, "I really don't think you will." I managed to get myself out of that situation only having to temporarily endure a headlock before the commotion was broken up by the bar staff.

Upon returning to my present mind frame, I addressed the brute 's inquiry with the most clever response I could muster, "What are YOU gonna do about it?" Socrates, eat your heart out. Before I had the chance to mentally congratulate myself on a job well done, I noticed the man winding up. It's possible I might have slightly dodged his blow, because although there was definite knucks-to-cheek contact, I didn't really feel like it hurt all that bad. It's also entirely possible this guy just hits like a wimp. Either way, the Duffy's staff did a great job of detaining these guys and sending them packing. And I got a sweet column out of it!

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

SCENE REPORT

by Tommy Diestel â&#x20AC;˘ photos by Carolina Rios

lo Torus, Sorin, and Fallujah Jan. 17 1078 Ga\\ery The air was thick at the 1078 Gallery last Thursday night. It was a regular who's who of the Chico metal scene, with veteran musicians out to support up and comers, Sorin and Io Torus, two of the newer metal bands in town opening for Bay Area giants, Fallujah. The art gallery was filled with patrons waiting to have their faces melted and their guts strewn about.

They would not be disappointed.

Leading off the night was Io Torus playing their first show in Chico. For a new band, they were very tight.

Each transition felt fluid, even during choppy breakdowns. Io Torus mixes technical riffs with pounding rhythms and driving drums to create prog-metal masterpieces.

As the night continued on, the energy only kept increasing. Up next was Sorin. They know how to throw down. Melodic sweeping melodies mixed with brutal vocal lines really complimented the furious rhythmic breakdowns. Sorin transitioned through sweeping riffs, chugging chords, and offset bridges with seamless dexterity. The band has a powerful energy with a stage presence perfect for rallying a crowd. Their breakdowns were loaded with heaviness,

leaving people stomping and slamming their way through the pit.

Just when one thought the night couldn't get any heavier, Fallujah took the stage and gave everyone a big what for. Fallujah was nuts.

No really. They were insane. One second the guitars are screaming all around you, and the next second everything stops and melts into a pummeling breakdown.

Then while everything is still disintegrating into chaos, the band picks back up into incredibly synchronized shredding.

Before you even know what's happening anymore, another heavy ass breakdown simply destroys your world. In the middle of their tour, Fallujah has been up and down the West Coast recently, playing in Washington, Oregon, other parts of California, and even Canada.

And let's hear it for everyone who was involved in putting on this event. It's shows like these that show the vibrancy of Chico's music scene. The more fresh bands that get out and play, the more diversity there is within the scene. This town has the privilege of having great local music readily available nearly every week, something that is unheard of in some places. Great shows bring people together, and the greatest shows keep people talking about the whole thing for weeks to come. This was definitely one of those shows.

What's not to like about some fresh meat taking the stage alongside some great out of town rockers? Hopefully soon we'll be seeing both Sorin and Io Torus again. And maybe if we hope and pray, Fallujah will come back one day too.

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JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

19

I

"I killed a baby with comedy;' is one of the quotes still lingering in my mind. This quip came out of a phone interview with comedian, Christopher Titus, best known for his Fox sitcom, Titus. Sitting with me in the studio for the interview was Chico comedian, Don Ashby. Together we tag-team interviewed one of our heroes about the rocky road of show business, the memory of his mother's suicide, and how to laugh at ourselves.

Titus is performing his latest show, Church of the Epic Fail, which is part of his current tour: The Grapes of Mirth.

When asked what to expect from a show called Church of the Epic Fail, Titus said it's all the stories of the screwups in his life, including playing Darth Vader at birthday parties for six-year-olds, wrecking his Viper, and losing his TV show.

"I said one sentence that cost me 30 million dollars;' Titus remarked about losing his Fox contract. "If there was a Pope of fuck-ups, I'd have a three-foot hat:' As a writer for the show, the star, and the executive producer, Titus was working 20 hour days and became what he described as, a vampire. Titus could not say enough about the brilliant people he worked with at the time, many of whom went on to work for Family Guy, George Lopez, and a number of successful projects.

But the loss of the show got Titus right back to his favorite place: the stage.

"I love doing comedy more than anything;' said Titus. "If tomorrow, somebody wrote me a check for 100 million dollars, I would make the movie I want to make, then go right back on the road. I will never stop this-I love it.

I'm actually kind of pissed I have to take a break through Christmas, I want to get on stage right now:' Titus has a unique style compared with other comics. His specials have a set more like a play than a comedy show.

He doesn't use a handheld microphone, a mic stand, or

I

20

JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

have a stool. And as far as density, he easily packs more words in per minute than almost any other comedian that's ever performed. Why?

" If there was a Pope of fuck-ups, I'd have a three-foot hat."

"I think comics are lazy. That's from George Carlin;' Titus said. "It always bothers me when you see a guy on stage; he does three jokes, and then takes a drink of water. Then he'll do three more jokes and take a drink of water. Then he goes, 'So what are we talking about?' and I want to get up on stage and go, 'You're wasting stage time, get the fuck off. You'll never see me with a bottle of water on stage:'

is worrying about not having laughter in the silence. As long as they're engaged, if the audience is leaning in like, 'Holy shit, where are you going with this?', then you're not failing, you're doing great. In my specials there's always this moment where I lead the audience down a path where they don't want to be there, and I like that.

So many comics are afraid to tell honest stories because they don't think the audience will follow them. As long as you make the destination funny, you can take a moment on the journey and scare the living shit out of them. Just don't forget to be funny:'

Christopher Titus performs this Friday, January 25th, with special guest Rachel Bradley. Doors open at 7:30PM and the show starts at BPM. Tickets are available online at jmaxxproductions.net

After only being in comedy for a couple years, Titus saw Lily Tomlin perform her one-woman show, The Search for Signs of Intelligent Life in the Universe (once performed at the Blue Room by Chico actress, Betty Burns), a show in which Tomlin represents at least a dozen well defined characters.

"At one point she's doing four characters at once all having a conversation with each other, and I thought holy shit, she's doing 4 characters at once:' Titus said. "I walked out that night thinking, 'I need to be a welder. I need to quit comedy because I'm never going to be that good."'

But Titus didn't become a welder. He has continued performing for over 20 years, defining his own specific style through personal realizations.

"Comics are afraid of the silence more than anything, as am I. I'm afraid of the silence too:' Titus said. "The sin

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By Sunlight is peaceful. They're more transparent than their peers ; you can see the hidden depths of personality behind their instruments. Before I heard their new album, Penumbra, I would've called them a one-trick pony, albeit a deep and peaceful one.

After hearing this album, I can say that the depths have . .. deepened. Their peace has been shaken up and refined by life 's miracles and dissatisfactions. There are attempts to return to that calm place, and there are moments when Penumbra surrenders to the experiment of chaos and creativity. These are the moments where the album caught my utmost attention.

I found myself yearning for those moments when they broke away from their classic formula and took risks such as the first track "Prufrock," the last track "Diamonds," or even the nearly pointless five minutes of noise in " Gnash & Chime." Some of these risks missed, but at least they made me feel something.

Throughout the album, the musicians ' performance was flawlessly clear and pristine. The lyrics served to suggest, and help the imagination, instead of clearly delineating their meaning.

By Sunlight consciously avoids conventional chord progressions, instead opting for jazzy, confusing progressions that didn't impress me very much. It felt like writing from the mind, instead of the heart.

Overall Penumbra is a success because it evokes a tangible, yet mysterious, feeling throughout. It moves you through the By Sunlight landscape at a steady pace. This record is a solid step up from their last one, and I'm really stoked to hear where they go from here.

Nolan "Pretend You Love Me" - Sonny & The Sunsets Sara "Glass of the Microscope" - Yeasayer Bethany "Moses" - Elizabeth Fraser Paigey "Big, Bad Leroy Brown" - Jim Croce Katya ''I've Been Thinking" - Handsome Boy Modeling School Ash "Change" - Churchill Tanner ''The Michael Jordan of Drunk Driving" - Andrew Jackson Jihad Michaela "Be Honest" - Jason Mraz

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Becca Hale Read I remember when Pioneer Days was canc1e lled. The locals continued to party during what would 1ve been the designated time of ce ebrat ions. The only thing that eased up a bit was out- of-town part1iers. But my point is that the parties continued, despite efforts to squash it.

Tuesday at 2: 59pm · Li ke · ~ 3 Shawn Potestio Some may be legitimate while others are laughable at best. Blaming "low cost" drinks as an issue is rid iculous. Let's put the blame where i t~s due : the person cons urning the alcohol . Every person has a choice: 11 How much do i want to drink toni1g nt?'1 "Is it worth dying?'1 If you can't say no to a drink, or cut yourself off at 4 drinks, it 1s not anyone elses fault but yours.

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Austin Cooper If somehow they e li minate or curb the 11 ridicu lously11 low priced d rinks at bars, all that is 1g oing to res11.1lt from this is people drinking heavier and harder before they go to the bars so they can save money. Th1is will no doubt only cause prob lems.

Tuesday at 3 :OOpm via mobile · Like · ~ 18 Dale Harrison The list describes an env ironment, y1e t it is a glimpse of environment. Wnat preparation was given to the students for when t~ey entered the environment of a larger socia l scene, and personal respo nsibility.

Tuesday at 3 :OOpm · Li ke · ~ 1

facebook.com/ ch icoca JANUARY 21 - JANUARY 27, 2013

21

I

ARIES Be grateful for the good friends in your life. Do something to help move your community forward.

Add a little inspiration to everyone's mix. Conversations are brisk and full of interesting topics. Don't allow fears to manipulate outcomes.

Think in terms of the things you want to see. Get a good game plan and go with it. The full moon on Saturday will allow you to show some creative prowess. Courage to do what is right is what is needed now. Avoid exaggeration in conversation. It's important to stick with the facts while practicing being a good listener.

GEMINI Things improve dramatically for you this week. Keep yourself in check so you won't get too high.

Jupiter and the moon are in your first house Monday through most of Wednesday. Know that you are luckier than usual and it's safe to take some calculated risks. Thursday and Friday are good for finances, song and food The full moon weekend is full of travel, news and basic Gemini fun. Go somewhere you've never gone before. This is a wonderful time of discovery for you. Be ready to learn things on a deeper level.

LEO Love is not for sale yet somehow it's in the air. The full moon in Leo Saturday night is certainly something to look forward to this week.

The week begins on a brisk and friendly social note. It will be easy for you to make new friends on these days. Thursday and Friday it's best to tone things down and lay low. All in all, much has to do with equality. justice, and being fair. There may be someone confronting you on what they feel needs to be done. Face it all with a sense of grace and agree with the person if possible. Understand other people's positions.

LIBRA The week begins as a happy time for smart people. Intelligence seems to rule with the moon in your ninth house on Monday through Wednesday. Career responsibilities become more pressing toward the end of the week. The full moon weekend proves to be a full blown party for you. A friendly vibe seems to be had by all. In general your heart feels more open. Your creativity is being expressed. Having fun is easier to come by. Be more of a leader and less of a follower this week. Enjoy the art of giving.

SAGITTARIUS Collecting data and information seems to be part of what this week is about for you. Open up lines of communication. Be the blessing that you seek from other people.

You have this tendency to hook up with people that aren't always as sane as you'd like them to be.

Honesty is the best policy. Learn to speak your truth in a loving way.

The full moon weekend looks great for travel, education, and exotic experiences. Check on your vehicuJar maintenance. Be ready to move at the drop of a hat.

AQUARIUS Welcome to your season. Cabin fever seems to creep up for peopie living any where north of 37 degrees north latitude. Longer days are beginning to be noticed and soon the buds of trees will begin to swell. Your key phrase is, "I know".

Shared knowledge is a gift. Hoarded knowledge is wasted. The moon will be in your fifth house of playfulness and creativity Monday through Wednesday. The full moon over the weekend is a power time for love and romance. Getting lucky requires that you expect nothing.

TAURUS Reality is boring yet everyone is expecting you to go along with it.

For goodness' sake at least be good at faking it. The whole world appears to be watching you at this point. The first part of the week it's good to take care of taxes, finances, old bills, and dietary strategies. The full moon will likely involve family issues, domestic needs, and your personal history.

Pay attention to your dreams. Most activity will be in the public arena.

Be aware of your talents and skills, and find new ways of expressing these abilities.

CANCER The romance and good one -on-one relationships are evolving to a thing of their own. Lust is nice when the person you lust after feels the same, unfortunately desire doesn't always match the object of your affection.

Perhaps some of you need to see a matchmaker. Computers are not people. The moon will be in Cancer Wednesday night through Friday.

This is a power period for you to exercise modest influence. Sex, birth, and death along with other people's property verses your stuff this full moon.

VIRGO Staying healthy in the winter is an art form. Proper diet and plenty of rest is a must. You probably face more work than usual this week.

Breathe deep and pace yourself.

Turn one big challenge into severa! mini episodes of effort. Be charitable and give to a charitable cause. Service work and teamwork dominate this week's theme. The full moon highlights your psychic ability. Reach out to those that might be isolated or marginalized. Stay organized and get rid ofany unnecessary items and/or clutter.

SCORPIO What is the hardest thing for you to do that has the most value?

How do you define wisdom? Did you go through some humiliation during adolescence that is coming back to you? It's easier for you to see how you're like your parents or grandparents during this period.

Thursday and Friday look good for travel and higher education. Rely more on your memory and less on your smart phone or computer. The full moon has this way of putting you in the public eye. Put on your best face and show your many talents and skills.

CAPRICORN No one owns the truth, it can be shared freely or be distorted by the individual. Money; voice, throat, and food are your key issues. You enjoy talking about values, wealth, and personal progress. This week your obsessions will be known by others. When you are doing good things there is no fear of being exposed. Thursday and Fridays waxing moon in your seventh house could inspire romance or getting a new contract. The full moon is out of your control. You are psychically sensitive and possibly in heat.

PISCES You are the dreamer entering the dream space. This is a time that's good for laying low and taking care of debts and personal responsibilities. Your imagination flourishes and you have great ideas for art, dance, and music. You are extra sensitive to the vibes of other people, thus it's best to keep things mellow.

Keep a dream journal. Imagine who around you you may have known in a past life. Thursday and Friday are heart opening and fun. The full moon pumps you up to help others or to help yourself be healthier.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY: Judy La Rocca 1/23/46, John Belushi 1/24/52 Koz McKev is on You Tube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.lFM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horoscopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net

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