Some years ago--never mind how long precisely--having little or no money in my purse, and nothing particular to interest me on shore, i thought i would sail about a little and see the watery part of the world. It is a way i have of driving off the spleen and regulating the circulation. Whenever i find myself growing grim about the mouth; whenever it is a damp, drizzly november in my soul; whenever i find myself involuntarily pausing before coffin warehouses, and bringing up the rear of every funeral i meet; and especially whenever my hypos get such an upper hand of me, that it requires a strong moral principle to prevent me from deliberately step into the street, and methodically knocking people's hats off--then, i account it high time to get to sea as soon as i can. This is my substitute for pistol and ball. With a philosophical flourish cat imself upon his sword; i quietly take to the ship. 1here is nothing surprising in this. If they but knew it, almost all men in their degree, some time or other, cherish very nearly the same feel路 s the ocean with me. There now is your insular city of the manhartoes, belted round by wharves as indian isles by coral reefs--commerce surrounds it with her surf Right and left, the str u waterward. Its extreme downtown is the battery, where that noble mole is washed by waves, and cooled by breezes, which a few hours previous were out of sight of la ter-gazers there. Circumambulate the city of a dreamy sabbath afternoon. Go from corlears hook to coenties slip, and from thence, by whitehall, northward. What entinels all around and thousands upon thousands of mortal men fixed in ocean reveries. Some lean路 t the spiles; some seared upon the pier-heads; ks of aloft in the rigging, as if strivin to get a still better seaward peep. Bur these are a f to cou h this? Are the green fie ~hat do they here? But look! Here come more week days pent up in lath and plaster--t straight for the water, and seemingly bound for mest limit of the la nder e shady lee of yonder warehous 1hey must get just as nigh the water as they pos m lanes and alleys, streets a south, and west. Yet here they all unite. Tell me nee more. Say you are i the coun
land of lakes. Take almost any path you please, plunged in his deepest reveries--stand that man desert, try this experiment, if your Yan ha paint you the dreamiest, shadiest, qui as if a hermit and a crucifix were within, ere sleeps his meadow, and there sleep his cattle; and up from onder c in spurs of mountains bathed in their hill-side blue. But though the picture lies thus lepherd's eye were fixed upon the magic stream be him. isit the 1ere is nor a drop of water there! Were ni t of eliberate whether him a coat de
Le
, yet tis the
robust h
suddenly y boy with
brarion, rst told that you and your ship all this is not without meaning. And still deeper d into it an drowned. Bur that same image, we ourselves see in say tha the habit of going to sea whenever i begin to grow hazy about the eyes, . For to go as a passenger you must needs have a purse, and a purse is but a rag unless you leep of nights--do no y themselves much, as a general thing;--no, i never go as a passenger; nor, though i am somedon the glory and distinction of such offices to those who like them. For my part, i abominate all honourable respectable quite as I can do to take care of myself, without taking care of ships, barques, brigs, schooners, and what not. And as for going as at, a cook being a sort of officer on ship-boardomehow, i never fancied broiling fowls;--tl broiled, judiciously buttered, and ered, there is no one w 10 will speak more respectfully, not to say revere fa broiled fowl than i It is out of otings of the old egyptians upon r horse, that you see the mummies of earures in their huge bake-hou pyramids. No, ght before the mast, plumb down there to the royal mast-head. True, they; der me ut some, and make me jump from spa Clo And at first, this sort of thing s unp e. ough. It touches one's sense o an old established fami the Ian tes. And more than all, if just previous to putting your hand into the ta ne, i assure you, from a schoolks of a sea-captain orders me to master to a sailor, and requires a strong get a broom and sweep down the dee el thinks anything the less of me, because i promptly and respectfull~ order me about--however they may thump and punch me about, i have e satisf: me way--e1 physical or metaphysical point of view, that is; and so the universal thump is passe go to sea as a sailor, because they make a point of paying me for my trouble, whereas they never pay pas mselves . And there is all the difference in the world between paying and being paid. 1he act of paying is perhaps th nus. Bur being paid,--what will compare with it? The urbane activity with which a man receives money is really marvellous, c e root of a ills, and that on no account can a monied man enter heaven. Ah! How cheerfully we consign ourselves to perdition! Finally, i al e exercise and pure air of the fore-castle deck. For as in this world, head winds are far more prevalent than winds from astern (that is, if you never viol im), so fort rt the commodore on the quarter-deck gets his atmosphere at second hand from the sailors on the forecastle. He thinks he breathes it first; but not so. In Clo the commonalty lead their leaders in many other things, at the same time that the leaders little suspect it. Bur wherefore it was that after having repeatedly smelt the sea as a mere dd now take it into my head to go on a whaling voyage; this the invisible police officer of the fates, who has the constant surveillance of me, and secretly dogs me, and influences me ins ntable way--he can better answer than any one else. And, doubtless, my going on this whaling voyage, formed part of the grand programme of providence that was drawn up a long time ago. e in as a sort of brief interlude and solo between more extensive performances. I take it that this part of the bill must have run something like this: "grand contested election for the presidency of the u agers, the fates, put me down for this shabby part in farces--though i cannot tell why this w disguises, induced me to set abot among these motives was
bulk; the undeliv
FRI, JUNE 28, 9PM
LUCKYIAM
W/ DJNYKON, B-LEE OF THE HOOLIGANZ & COOTDOG OF THE MYSTIC ROOTS
3 player teams. Sign up with bartender. Starts at 7PM
8-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up 6PM Starts at 7PM
JAZZ BPM
9-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up at noon Starts at 1 PM
synthesis
INSIDE THIS WEEK'S ISSUE
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR Sara Calvosa sara@synthesis.net
Behold! It's My Birthday Week! IMMACULATE INFECTION
PUT A FORK '-------'---"--'----'-------' I N IT
COMICAL RUMINATIONS
WINNING WRITERS! You wrote within the lines, you used the writing prompt creatively, you hit submit! Nice work community! We were so thrilled to read your submissions, and are now even more excited about the next phase of Mission: Writing Contest (TBA soon!) Thank you to the Derelict Voice writing group for judging the entries and choosing our winners. As a reminder, they're always open for more members so if you're interested, just drop into the Jesus Center Resource Room on Wednesdays at 9am.
(?.__ !'__ / )
!I
/
<~
~
>-
~
\~\~1
STREET STYLE
05 06
07 10
OFF MY LAWN!
16
WHY ARE YOU SMILING?
17
,,
LIKE, LITERALLY
18
THE LUCKIEST MAN: PART DEUX In last week's episode of Andrew Hanson's 4-part serial we learned about the Meteor's big assignment and about that 52-year-old positivity machine, Bob-the luckiest man in the world. This week we meet Frank and check in on the Meteor's mission to ruin the reprehensibly lucky Bob's reputation.
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
SCENE REPORT
19
I know it might come as a huge surprise that I was born of two humans rather than hatched from an egg forged by the fire of dragons high on a mountaintop inhabited only by viking lightning ninjas, four days after the summer solstice, just when the world was least expecting it. But being born on June 25th is statistically the best birthday I could have; it is precisely six months before or after Christmas and results in the most balanced ratio of presents throughout the year. Matt thinks that it could mean that maybe I'm the antichrist, and that's a valid point, but I can promise you that I'm not that evil. But be wary of other babies born on June 25th ... you never know. THE BIRTHDAY COMMANDMENTS: Birthday Cake. I shalt have a pink champagne cake! I know this is very 1985 of me, but there are a lot of things that are very 1985 about me. I may not always blow out candles, but when I do there seem to be a lot more of them lately. Birthday Sex. I believe that when it's your birthday that you can have birthday sex wherever, whenever, however you want, and your partner-understanding that the agreement is reciprocal-must accommodate you. Birthday sex can sometimes feel like a lot of pressure, like you need to come up with something fruity or outrageous, but relax. Don't plan any math competitions for the day and you'll be just fine. Birthday Presents. I'm not gonna lie, I love birthday presents. I also love birthday phone calls, text messages, facebook posts, birthday cards, anything that comes from someone else that says, "Hey! I'm glad you were born!" I think feeling special on my birthday reconnects me with my inner child, the one who used to spontaneously conjure moments of consciousness, and imagine the depths of her own uniqueness, and marvel at the mystery of what made me so very me. There is something delightful about channeling your childhood, even if it means you have to admit that you're kinda greedy about presents.
My favorite birthday presents have been cursive typewriters for my collection. When I was a little girl, I used to imagine that rn move away from my hillbilly hamlet into the big city. rn own a fancy typewriter and live in an apartment and have gentleman callers (thanks Truman Capote!) and fabulous parties. Now I collect cursive typewriters to remind me that I was a little girl with brazen dreams once. Winner, winner, chicken dinner! We partnered up with the Derelict Voice writing group to put on a writing contest and we have chosen our winners! This is a project that I've been dying to kick off, and I hope that it's just the first of many. Congratulations to the winners, thank you so much for participating!
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
3
I
synthesis y
y
g
remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.
Re: Hot Tub Sex with Balls McPhearson,
June 17th issue
PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett kathy@synmedia.net
Dear Balls, After reading your column this week I would like to tell you about non-sweetened jello, add a box of your favorite flavor to water and things get slippery slick. I would, however, recommend using the jello in -.. a tub, or rent a room with a jacuzzi tub, either way have fun and remember... unsweetened 'cause you don't want sticky. Good sex to all, Joy (via email)
MANAGING EDITOR Sara Calvosa sara@synthesis.net
ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Michaela Warthen graphics@synthesis.net
DESIGNERS Mike Valdez. Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net
DELIVERIES Joey Murphy Molly Roberts
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen. Bob Howard. Danny Cohen. David Neuschatz. Dillon Carroll. Erica Koenig. Guy Starvist. Howl. Jaime O'Neill. Jen Cartier. Josie Hall. Jeremy Gerrard. Kenneth Kelly. Koz McKev. Ky Junkins, Matt Olson. Ryan Hawkley, Steve Swim. Tommy Diestel
CROWDSOURCE questions from our synthesis facebook
page 1. The Emperor of Ocean Park
Janis Adams The Glass Castle by Jeanette Walls for my Summer Onl ine Reading Class. Like · Rep ~y · 6 2 · 1:29pm (2 hour s ago) via mobile - Reply
6. Brave New World
3. On the Road
7. Slaughterhouse-Five
6. Invictus
now @
11. War and Peace
8. The Great Shark Hunt
Li ke • Reply • 6 3 · 2 hours ago
12. Harry Potter and the
9. The Hobbit
Alisha Bu1rkett 50 Shades for the thi rd time. I read it twice last summer @
Goblet of Fire
10. The Great Gatsby
13. The Plague
14. Grapes of Wrath
Becki Gilbert I'm reading S.il'ver Stars by Jeanette Walls.
16. Walden Pond
15. The Purloined Letter
Like · Rep ~y · about an hour ago via mobile
17. The Scarlet Letter
17. A Farewell to Arms
Laura Strycker Game of Thrones
18. Ulysses
19. Much Ado About Nothing
21. La Comedie humaine
20. Moby Dick
23. Adventures of
22. Catcher in the Rye
Huckleberry Finn
24. To the Lighthouse
25. The Brothers Karamazov
26. 1984
27. Great Expectations
28. Howl
Johnny Dollar Not really my read ing l ist, burt I am read ing The 8FG to my 4 year old son , so I g.u e·ss Ill I go with that for
Like · Reply · 6 1 · 2 hours ago
Like · Rep ~y · 61 · about an h our ago via mobile Cody Weiss 1984 Like · Reply · 6 l · about an hour ago via mobile Peggy Harrington Atlas Shrugged by Ayn Rand. Al l 1200 pages . Like · Rep ~y · 6 1 · 2 hours ago Rachel Gray D.aug hn ut by Torn Holt and Bad Monkey by Carl Hiaasen are on my to-read l ist. Li ke · Reply · 20 minutes ago via mobile
30. Where the Sidewalk Ends
Jacob Sanford hop e.fu lly if i can find it •• Holes! !
31. The Dawn Treader
Like · Reply · 25 minutes ago li z. Mag1nuso n Willis A Journal of My S.o ns Fi rst Son, by Ann e Lamott Like · Rep ~y · 49 minutes ago via mobile
f acebook.com/ ch icoca
I 4
2. To Kill a Mockingbird
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
29. As I Lay Dying
32. In Cold Blood 33. The Shining
Word Puzzle created by Bethany Johnson
PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid Vincent Latham
CALENDAR Bethany Johnson calendar@synthesis.net
NERD Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis .net
ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Karen Potter
OWNER Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (and our law!). All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.
210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 info@synthesis.net
SY NTH ESISWE EKLY.COM
IMMACULATE INFECTION Bob Howard madbob@madbob.com
The Invisible Hand-Job Gardening, farming, working the land-it's a constant process of putting in and taking out. A couple of weeks ago we harvested the garlic crop. It was a good one, and we ended up with a big bucket of garlic. When I find the time I will sort the larger heads out, collect a number of the best from the several different varieties we harvested this year, and set them aside for seed to be planted in the fall. The quinoa that I sowed in January is closing in on maturity; the pink and orange clusters of grain bend the three-foot-high stalks down toward the ground. The larger cornstalks are putting off their first ears, and we are routinely collecting squash, cucumbers, and the first round of the cherry tomatoes. My potato crop was another abysmal failure, but still my best to date. I collected about a quarter of the amount of seed potatoes I originally planted. The small but delicious crop went immediately into a black bean stew. That bed has been turned, amended with manure, and planted with a host of different heirloom pepper plants and celery. I collected seed from the spinach, radish, pea and mustard crops, and need to get those emptied beds turned and amended. This all puts me dramatically in touch with the land, the weather and the seasons. Some of the urgency of spring has been alleviated by the simple fact of more daylight hours. I used
to be in quite a rush to get home from my day job and get to work on the land. Now I can take things at a slightly more leisurely pace. It's nice to be in close contact with the environment, but even growing on as small of a scale as I currently do, it reveals the relentless nature of time and life. Everything keeps turning, faster, faster and faster. There is always more to do than there is time in which to do it. I run myself ragged and collapse while the grass and the weeds and the work keep growing and growing. I start to appreciate where the concept of capital came from, and how acquiring capital can eventually free one from an otherwise endless-and severe-cycle of toil. Give me one catchy song, one massmarketable piece of writing, one decent idea ...
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
Beyond Isms I hear people get into the debate about "socialism versus capitalism" a lot these days. Personally I have a hard time giving my mind over to one "ism" or the next. Certainly the "invisible hand" of the free-market economy seems to do plenty of useless and damaging jerking off, but that doesn't make me any more comfortable with a state-planned economy. So far as I can tell, a system is only as good as the people involved in it-and, because they are unencumbered by morality or ethics, the psychotics and sociopaths inevitably gravitate to the top. A benign dictatorship is a good option. But who runs it? King David was the wisest mortal figure in the Bible-and yet, David sent his best friend to die so he could get into the man's wife's underpants.
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
5
PUT A FORK IN IT Jen Cartier blushcatering@gmai l. com
Luke Soup from elderly people's driveways. He gave people shit. He outran his strongest counterparts. He played guitar and loved music. He was a beautiful man. My brother, who was both Luke's childhood friend and fellow firefighter called him "the best guy I know:' Luke used to call me "Money Jenny:'
When you love an entire family, you can't imagine them any different than they have always been, because it's the way you've always loved them. But life winds and turns, and sometimes hurts like nothing you've imagined. I was traveling up Highway 32 toward Susanville-my hometown-when my childhood friend Tenley called. She told me to pull over. I knew it was bad. When she told me that Luke Sheehy was killed fighting a fire, I couldn't believe it. Tears poured. My hands went numb. I shook like crazy and couldn't stand still. I screamed into the canyon, like being mad at the air would somehow change it... could somehow bring him back. Strained wails burst from my mouth like, "Luke fucking Sheehy! No! But they (his family) are going to hurt so bad!" I was mad at the trees. How could one of them drop a branch on our Luke and take him like that? I was mad at Deer Creek for being so absurdly beautiful. Asinine creek; cruel wilderness, who the hell do you think you are? Don't you know what he means to us?! My best friend Kate and her sister Meg lost their brother. Doug, the philosopher and musician, lost his son. Lynn, with Luke's matching smile and dancing eyes, lost her boy. And I lost a piece of the family that made me who I am-the one I got all my love, all my music, all my art, and all my sense of wonder from. I am privileged to have grown up part-Sheehy. Luke's grandpa asked me, "How do you get your arms around a thing like that? How do you get your arms around our Luke leaving us like that?"
BECAUSE YOU
LIVE HERE 6
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
You don't. You absolutely cannot. You can't grab it. It's too bulky and large and fucked up for us to ever get our arms around. We lost our Luke. Nobody has that nose. Nobody has that freckle-faced, boyish grin; that laugh, that appetite for life, that beautiful heart that was contained within, as Doug Sheehy put it, "the outer trappings of strength:' But, Luke wouldn't want us to quit living. He was strong, handsome, capable, helpful, wise and kind. He was an absolute crack-up, and a fantastic friend. He shoveled snow
When there's nothing else to do, you can try to sustain; try to eat something healing. Lynn asked for soup, so that's what I could give. Here's the recipe that Mick and I pieced together from things my mom and I had on hand. You would likely do the same, under the circumstances: just use what you have, do what you can, and put it all together with your best, and most aching, effort. Luke Soup
Ingredients: 3 to 4 chicken breasts Lundberg Weehani Rice Olive oil Spices (we used oregano, sage, garlic, and thyme because it was in my mom's pantry) Mirepoix (one part chopped celery to 2 parts chopped onion and carrot) 2 quarts chicken stock Sea salt, black pepper Coat the chicken breasts in olive oil, and sprinkle generously with sea salt and spices. Roast at 450 degrees F until cooked through but still juicy. Let cool, cut into cubes. Bring 2 1/2 cups Weehani Rice (or any brown rice) to a boil with five cups of water. Reduce the heat to low and simmer, covered, about 25 minutes or until the rice is cooked through. Chop your celery (a couple ribs) and onion (one should suffice) and carrots (three or four) and saute them over medium heat until tender. Add sea salt and spices to taste. Pour in the chicken stock and bring it all to a simmer. When heated through, add the rice and the chicken breast. Try to eat. Know you're doing all you can. Love one another. Really, really well.
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
COMICAL RUMINATIONS Zooey Mae zooeymae@synthesis.net
Vagina Dentata There's a picture making the rounds on various social networking sites of what looks like a pair of very hairy legs, but is actually a woman wearing "Anti-Pervert Hairy Leg Stockings:' Created in China (probably because China is now trying to give Japan a run for their money in the "inventing crazy, useless things" game), these stockings are enjoying a splash of Internet fame. They remind me of those female anti-rape condoms that were invented a few years back, with the barbs that essentially turn your lady bits into the 2007 horror movie Teeth (a moving tale about a young lady who realizes her vagina has teeth). The stockings remindme of the bitey condoms because I had the same reaction to both. My first inclination was to think "finally," and then upon further reflection I felt slightly shortchanged that someone was investing money into anti-rape products meant for women, instead of maybe focusing on the greater issue of the rape happening in the first place. I'm all for carrying pepper spray and tasers and whatever else makes you feel safe, but seeing as how most sexual assaults are carried out by people that the victim already knows, how are these stockings supposed to deter attackers? I can appreciate the tonguein-cheek humor of such stockings, but when these sorts of items are being invented with such frequency, I have to think that the people dreaming up these products are focusing on the wrong end of the dick. This
feels dangerously close to placing preemptive blame on the victim, and then you're just a hop, skip, and a disapproving tone away from slut-shaming. I'm not sure what an anti-rape product designed for use by the attacker would be. Maybe there should be a greater push to educate young people earlier on to be accountable for their actions ... or to educate young men not to stick their dick in people who don't want that. I was again reminded of this issue the other day when walking to work one morning. I passed the construction zone on Salem and W. 3rd St, when one of the workers yelled some asinine, sexually demeaning comment. First, I felt embarrassed for him that he was playing into such a boring stereotype of the "catcalling construction worker:' Then I felt regret for trying to look nice and going through the bother of wearing a dress instead of my usual sleeping bag with arm and leg holes cut into it. I slumped a little, hurried my gait, and resolved to never be caught outside my house in anything but my sleeping bag onesie ever again. In reality, it's not me whose behavior should be amended, but the dickless piece of trash who yelled at me. And if the individual who had the gall to squawk at me is reading this, please know that I hope your dick gets caught in a piece of machinery. Something with metal interlocking teeth.
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
7
The Synthesis partnered up with the Derelict Voice writing group to put on our first ever prompt-based writing contest. The Derelict Voice writing group meets weekly at the Jesus Center Resource Room on Wednesdays at 9am. This
diverse, industrious, and prolific little group has already put out two collections of short stories and poems, and they're available for sale on their website derelictvoice. blogspot. com. Check them out and join the group!
FIRST PLACE
SECOND PLACE
I stood on the corner of 5th and Cherry in Chico, CA-a city I knew only from the labels on beer bottles. As I glanced across the street at the frat boys stumbling out of a watering hole called Joe's Bar, then to my left at a girl in a short skirt hiked up to her waist-pelvis pressed against a tree trunk as she peed on it, laughing as she relished the spectacle she created-I finally came to appreciate the notoriety of this place.
I stood on the corner of 5th and Cherry in Chico, CA-a city I came to know only from the labels on beer bottles. I was a block away from Ed's Printing and had to pick up an order for work. I wondered if Ed would have an invoice for us this time? He belonged to the It's A Wonderful Life small-town fantasy, a place where people got paid because they did work, not because they enshrined everything in triplicate and threatened to sue.
The distant sound of weighty metallic monsters clashing with one another echoed as, not two blocks behind me, the train that had unknowingly deposited me here came to life and lurched forward once again. My dark, stifling journey to this quirky corner of the world had been filled with the fear of death-death from carbon monoxide inhalation, as I was stuck in that rail car in some long tunnel; death due to being trapped, if the door were to slam shut completely. As I emerged unscathed from the rail car into the humid night, I felt renewed. Yet it was whispers of death that greeted me.
Notably, Ed was the guy who printed the first monkeywrenching field guide often associated with Earth First! (although not by Earth First!ers, as the Green Scare had taught at least that much). I noticed it upon reading the book, and it filled me with pride for Ed, and for our town. Although Eugene may be the hotbed of radical environmentalism, we've got our share of radicals-working quietly and mostly disguised as hippies, drunks, grandmothers, or Pyrate Punks. It's a college town; in some ways, it's the iibercollege-town. Ambition has to be strong here, to make it off the porch.
Quiet, troubled words floated on the air, [speaking] of a young man on the train tracks. "Was he drunk? Suicide?" people speculated aloud. A new flame snuffed out before its time had brought me to this fascinating citytown by chance.
I I
Having recently just moved after ten years on E. 12th St, I was feeling nostalgic. It was even-odds at one point if I would make it to 40-a double-edged accomplishment, to be sure. Now here I was, 15 years after coming to Chico as a way station, not only staying but rooting down in a way that I'd never experienced before.
SAM KITCHEN
It's the smell of dry grass in the merciless sun, the river otters at Indian Fisheries, the welcoming alleys, a rain-swollen creek, the returned wallet. Fools may shank, but the Valley lives its own life under the wide eternal sky.
My great love is the conveying of ideas via the written word, the still image, and the motion picture.
The bells jingled as I entered Ed's shop.
JULIA MURPHY Mrs. Murphy likes the Mighty Sacramento, and does not like outof-area water transfers or Peripheral Tunnels crazy talk.
I a
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
THIRD PLACE
FOURTH PLACE
I'm standing on the corner of Fifth and Cherry in Chico, California-a town I know only from the labels of empty beer bottles I picked up for cash.
I stood on the corner of 5th and Cherry in Chico, CA-a city I knew only from the labels on beer bottles that I had painstakingly dug out of crusty dirt. I wasn't sure of the year, but those who remember say that thirty winters had passed since The Change. The bottle ends were particularly good for knapping arrowheads, which all of us needed for our survival. The most prized bottles were those of Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., which must have been a prominent brewery at the time of The Change. Now, looking down what used to be 5th Street was a morass of weeds, vines and mistletoe-crowned saplings that had grown between cracked asphalt that was barely visible. Fat acorns glistened in clusters on tall oaks and I knew that all the valley's residents would make a good harvest come the fall. On the horizon of my awareness, I could sense a visitor coming through the leafy foliage off to my right. The birds had ceased their ongoing twitter and a squirrel called out an alarm. As I crouched down to hide in the green, a raptor bird of some sort shot out of the thicket above my head. Partially distracted by the bird's antics above me, I swiveled my head to watch its owner emerge from the trees. She was tanned and short, wearing well-crafted clothes of brain-tanned leather. Her left forearm was wrapped in tanned animal skins where she held the bird, and her bulky shoulder muscles spoke of her work as a falconer. Down on my haunches, I used my breath to steady my racing heart; the stories that I'd heard told me I was the prey in this hunt.
Yeah, bottles are heavy, but cans are scarce in a town full of beggars. Listen to me, separating myself from the rest. My delusions and addictions are different, yet I line up with them again and again-their crushed cans shuffling into barrels as my bottles clatter and crash for attention. Dirty bills are handed over. I'll eat for couple of days, if I'm careful. I usually am. I'm heading north, but not too far north. That's where I imagine it will be, anyway. The sun on my back, my ass planted in the silt along some creek. Something else planted too to survive, but hell you can smell weed a mile away. Can't keep a clear head around it anyway. And don't you think that's how I got here. Hell, it looks like this whole damn town would be on the streets if that were true. Nope. It was a bit more complicated than that. I close my eyes and I can smell my cologne, not that nasty stench that I know as myself now. I was cruisin', a few bucks from my old man's petty cash hot in my pocket. Know what was hotter? The policeman steppin' out from behind the gloryhole. Hey, I can play along, but he was playing no games. He didn't expect someone like me to deck him. My thumbs crushed into his throat as he lay sprawled out on the filthy tiles.
KW ITCH
I open my eyes and I can still see his dead eyes staring back at me. I smell my fresh sweat over old, and the woman across the street thinks I'm OD'ing.
DANIEL NAUMAN Daniel Nauman writes of history and the present from his own peculiar point of view in his blog The Strange Loves of Daniel Nauman. He lives in Cherokee, California.
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
derelictvoice. blogspot. com
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
9
I
- - - -synthesis-
CASHI CASHI CASHIi.-.i:!~
STREET STYLE
We pay cash for your recyclables!! CRY ALUMINUM CANS $2.00/Pound
E-WASTE! We pay 5¢ per pound for TV's, Computers, Monitors and Laptops!! And, as a courtesy to our customers, we'll accept all other consumer electronics, such as lax machines, printers, VHS players, etc. as a drop-off, with no payments* * Some restrictions may apply Call for more information on getting cash for other recyclable materials.
High Performance Detail Cleaners Res1dent1al and Commerc1al Clean1ng Serv1ces! • Apartment
• Business
• Home
• Warehouse
• Office
• and more!
Cost Effect1ve, Customer Fr1endly Clean1ng Serv1ce Fees FREE est1mates wlth walk- through slte 1nspect1on (530)774-1175 http://supercleanpros.webs.com
I
10
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
"We clean to YOUR specifications!"
Meet Shawn, with the "fancy little shoes:' I found him at Trader Joe's. To take a second for a humble-brag, our shoes looked really, really good together. Mine are from Three Sixty Ecotique, and Preston's took care of repairing the soles. Such a fun find! Shawn's are from Urban Outfitters. So, you're from China, right? What brought you to California? How did you end up in Chico? Yes, ma'am. There are some reasons, but majorly is that I'm attending school in Butte College. Good question, I think it's that I got lost one day driving from Southern California, and my car went
on autopilot at night. Then I ended up in Chico in the morning the next day. Tell me three songs you love. Tom Waits- "Coney Island Baby" Galaxie 500- "King of Spain" Lou Reed- "Berlin" Where did you get those fantastic shoes? Where did you get the rest of your outfit? That striped shirt? I've purchased them on Urban Outfitter's site online. The rest of my outfit is also from Urban, except the striped shirt. The shirt is from CK.
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
11
I
synthesis
MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT SUN 12
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
,..
please drink responsibly!
Mon-Fri happy hour 11-2PM S2.SO Dom & Sierra
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR S2.2S Everyday!
Nevada Drafts
3-6PM S3.SO Dbl Wells 6PM - close S8 Dom Pitcher S9 SN Pitcher 2 DOLLAR TUESDAY' Food & Drink specials!
11AM-2PM S2.SO SN &
teams. Sign up with
bartender. Starts 7PM.
All ages until IOPM Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR S2.2S Everyday!
Dom Drafts
2-close S2.50 wells & Dom Drafts S3.SO Dbl Wells & Kami shots
WING WEDNESDAY! S2 for 3 Wings S2.SO SN Pint All Day 8PM-Close S3.SO Jim Beam, Captain
11-2PM S2.SO Dom 3-6PM S3.SO Dbl Wells 8-dose
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room
52 Kami Shooters
1/2 OFF POOL 8 Ball Tournament
Sign-up 6PM. Starts 7PM.
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR S2.2S Everyday'
$3 Soccer Moms
JAZZ NIGHT- Martini Specials
All ages until IOPM
Sierra Nevada Drafts
Full Bar in Back Room
5 flavors to choose from
3-6PM S3.SO Dbl Wells 8-Close S2.SO Dom & SN Drafts
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR S2.2S Everyday!
Open at llAM! Bloody Mary Bar Noon-6PM S8 Dom Pitcher S9 SN Pitcher 8PM-Close S6.50 DBL calls
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
5 flavors to choose from
S4.SO Dbl Bacardi Ccktls
Mon-Fri 2-6PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints S2 Kami Shooters 1/2 OFF POOL
SS Smirnoff Blasters SS DBL Roaring Vodka 11-2PM S2.SO Dom &
S3 14oz Slushies S4 20oz Slushies Add shot for SI
Mon-Fri 2-6PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR S2.2S Everyday!
S3 14oz Slushies S4 20oz Slushies Add shot for SI S4.SO Dbl Bacardi Ccktls
Mon-Fri 2-6PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints S2 Kami Shooters 1/2 OFF POOL GAME NIGHT! SI PBR all night All ages until IOPM
Morgan and Jameson
& Sierra Nevada Drafts
Mon-Fri 2-6PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints S2 Kami Shooters 1/2 OFF POOL Pool League, 3 player
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
Mon-Fri 2-6PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints S2 Kami Shooters
1/2 OFF POOL All ages until IOPM
Bartenders Choice
Full Bar in Back Room
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR S2.2S Everyday!
9 Ball Tournament.
Sign-up at noon. Starts !PM .
All ages until IOPM IOAM-2PM SS Bottles of Champagne with entree
S4.SO Bloody Mary SS.SO Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR S2.2S Everyday!
FREE POOL I hr. with every S8 purchase
All ages until IOPM
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
~ ~=
8:J> ~~
0•
"'C
~r
m
iil 0
c: co
~ MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE
:J
CD
BEAR-E-OKE
OPEN MIC - MUSIC
OPEN MONDAYS
S2 Marqis
BURGER MADNESS'
MUG NIGHT 7-IUO 40oz beer S2.50 or S3 S3 Fireball Shot
NEW - BUY ONE GET ONE HALF OFF FOOD MENU! 12-2PM
S2.50 Corona's
BEAR WEAR! 1/2 off while wearing
KARAOKE 9-CLOSE
S3 Tea of the Day and
Progressive Night!
Bartender Spec ial
8-lOPM Sl Sierra Pale
or Dom Drafts
Bear Wear.
S2 Kamls -any fhvor
MUG CLUB 4-IOPM
S5 Dbl Bacardi & Coke S3 Goldschlager S3 Bushmills
Happy Hour 11-6PM select bottles & drafts S275
Go Downlo
S6 Pulled pork sand w/
Bear Burger with fries
fries or salad
or salad for S5.29. llam-lOpm.
DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm SI Beer SI Wells S2 Doubles
S2 All Day S2 Select Sierra Nevada
Go Downlo
Chicken Strip Sand only S6 before 6 PM
Jr Grad Burger
w/ fries or
salad S3.99
All 16 oz Teas or AMF S3 All Day
Go Downlo
8-Close Pitcher Specials S6/S9/SI2
TRIKE RACES! Post time @ !Opm.
SMASHED SPELLING BEE
Win T-shirts and Bear
S4 Dbl Jack Daniels
Bucks. MUG CLUB 4-IOPM
Honey Lemonade
FREE Pool after IOPM
Baby Back Ribs SI0.99 Philly Cheesesteak S7 8PM-Close S4 teas
Happy Hour ll-6PM S2.75 select bottles & drafts
!Opm S2 Red Bull Party
S216oz Wells
Drink specials!
BURGER MADNESS!
53 Jose CueNo Silver
NEW - BUY ONE GET ONE HALF OFF FOOD MENU! 12-2PM
S3 Tea of the Day S3.50 Sky Vodka Cocktails
8-IOPM Two for the Price
Free Happy Hour Food 4PM until ifs gone
Bread S8.99 8pm-Close $4 Jager S5 DBL Vodka Red Bull 10-Close
Happy Hour ll-6PM select wells, bottles and pints S2.75
Jr Grad Burger
up IOPM-close 25<:: per hour-dose Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM
Buck Night 8-close Sl well cocktails, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Rolling Rockdom draft
of one cocktails and
53 Guiness Drafts,
S2 Black Butte S5 Vodka Redbull
KARAOKE 9PM
S3 all teas S6 Sky Vodka and Redbull BUCK NIG HT 9PM-Close Sl WELLS Sl TEAS
S3.50 151 party punch S3 Fire Eater Shots S6.50 Apple Cinnamon Cider 8-9PM Sl pale ale and dom draft up 25<:: per hour until dose
S3 Tea of the Day $4.50 DBL Captain
Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9PM-Close S3 Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pale Pitchers S4.50 Dbl Bacardi Ccktls
S2 Select Beers S3 Teas
or salad for S5.29. Ilam-lOpm.
S4 Dbl Gin & Tonic S2 Scotch & Soda S3 Barenjager
Drink specials!
LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY $4.99! Mon-Sat lOpm - lam .
LGBTO DANCE PARTY
available
Ale, Domestics, Rolling Rock & well cocktails
menu items
Bear Burger with fries
VIP Bottle Service
Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM Sl Dom draft, S2 SN draft, Sl.50 wells
S3 Glass of Wine
S3 All pints S4 Long Island Teas
Fries or Salad & Garlic
& Sierra Drafts
Sunrise
Starters
IO oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/
CLOSED
53 Cuervo Marqis
S5 Dbl Vodka Rockstar S3 Fireball S4 Dbl Coconut Press
Morgan Cocktails
S5 Vodka Redbull $4.50 Dbl Bacardi Ccktls
w/ fries or
Happy Hour 5-8PM SS House Martinis
54 Glass of House Wine
S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle Sl off Call liquor and bottled beer
Happy Hour 5-8PM SS House Martinis 54 Glass of House Wine
S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle Sl off Call liquor and bottled beer
134 BROADWAY ST. CHICO CA I530.893.5253
Happy Hour 5-8PM SS House Martinis
S4 Glass of House Wine
S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle Sl off Call liquor and bottled beer
salad S3.99 Baby Back Ribs with Salad, Fries & garlic Bread $10.99 8pm-Close S4 Single/S6 Double Jack or Captain
S4 Sex On The Beach S4 Sierra Nevada
Knightro ON TAP Sl Jello Shots 7-lOPM S3 Rumpy, Jager and Fireball
SS Bartenders Choice SS
$4 World Famous Bloody Joe S5 Premium bloodys
Call
LATE NIG HT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY $4.99! Mon-Sat !Opm - lam .
LIVE DJ S4 Dbl Gin & Tonic S3 Cptn Morgan & Coke S3 Rumpleminz
S3 Tea of the Day S4.50 DBL Captain plus Bartender Special
S4.50 Dbl Bacardi Ccktls
S2 Sierra Nevada
salad
your choice of vodka
To Party
Rent For Private
Go Downlo
Bloody Marys S3 Well $4 Call $5 Top shelf S6 Grey Goose
BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries
or salad for S5.29. llam-lOpm.
LIVE JAZZ 4PM TRIVIA 8PM S2.50 Mimosas & Bloody Marys $4 Dbl Cabin Fever (maple whiskey) & Coke
Power Hour 8-9PM
1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9-Close S3 Skyy Cocktails & Pale Ale Drafts S9.75 Pale Pitchers
S5 Patron $4.99 Grad, Garden/ turkey Burger w/ fries/
Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM Sl Dom draft, S2 SN draft, Sl.50 wells,
CLOSED Champagne Brunch 10AM-2PM Happy Hour prices Iii 8
Happy Hour 5-8PM SS House Martinis S4 Glass of House Wine
S3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle Sl off Call liquor and bottled beer
CLOSED
------------------------
' $100 FF . iPhone REPAIR & RESTORE Regular Rates $60-$90. No other discounts. Expires 7-20-2013
Lounge
V1puttra
New! Wine, Cocktail and Food Menus!
&ffeJg House Made Martinis and Seasonal Fresh Drin ks!
JJePiJ!JJJuJ Tapas Menu
Pew New Late Night Menu
191 East Second St. • 530.898.9898
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
I
1304 Mangrove Ave. (Facing Papa Murphy's Pizza)
530-588-3376
www.ChicoiStore.com
We pay CASH for old iPhones!
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
13
I
FRIDAY, JUNE 28rH
WEDNESDAY, JUNE 26rH
<;/[Ju!, <lJininu ia lite <TraJilioa of8ouiltRm <;/talg
VISITING THE THURSDAY NIGHT MARKET? STOP BY FOR OUR
FARMER'S MARKET SPECIALI
arm.
<Tm!t.
f/talian.
1020 MAI N STREET CHICO '-'•?-) 530.3~5.2233 (G .....
I
14
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
Wanderlust Circus
Worst Bet: The Game
EL REY THEATRE
SILVER DOLLAR FAIRGROUNDS Whenever I hear that ancient proverb "don't hate the player, hate The Game;' I can't help but feel sorry for the former Dr. Dre disciple. Hate that should be directed at players is unfairly aimed at him, and I for one think it's time we put a stop to it. The perfect chance comes this Wednesday, when the rumored show at the Fairgrounds will not be happening. This is yet another show promoted on spec without ever being booked by hateable player Colin Sweeney.
This place was built to be a vaudeville theatre at the turn of the last century, the perfect setting for a spectacle like Portland's Wanderlust Circus. Be amazed by the acrobatics of their "sinuous septet of somersaulting superstars, devoted to the dalliance of dance and daredevilry", while the Wanderlust Orchestra crashes and reels. Be delighted by showboating jugglers, dazzling dancers, and death defying aerialists. Wax your mustaches, trot out your best striped stockings and tutus, and get your revivalist arses down there to be entertained the olde fashioned way. $18 adults, $13 kids. starts at 7pm.
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • 4-lOpm. Cafe Flo: Open Mic SingerMaltese: Open Mic Night - Comedy. Songwriter Night with Aaron Jaqua. Signups @8, Starts @9. Mug Night 7-9pm. 7-11:30pm. Crazy Horse Saloon: All-request karaoke. 21+. The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm. Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with DownLo: DJ Dancing with DJ Ron Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm. Dare DownLo: Pool League - 3 player The Hub: Salsa Tuesdays. Intermediteams, signup with bartender. 7pm. ate lesson 7: 15-8: l 5pm, $8. Beginners Last Call Lounge: Karaoke. 8pmlesson 8:15-9pm, $5. Just dancing 9pm.$2 12am. Woodstock's: Spelling Bee For the LaSalle's: '90s Night. 21 +. Grown Ups. 6:30-7:30pm. Maltese: Karaoke 9pm-Close. Cafe Flo: Elaine & Sabrina, Extra Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke Crispies. 7pm 8:30pm- lam. Sierra Nevada Big Room: Mother Park Avenue Pub: Hanging by a Hips. Doors open 6pm, music starts String Band. 7-9pm at 7:30pm. All Ages. $28.50 (Sold The Tackle Box: Karaoke 9pm. Out.) An optional buffet will be Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call @ 4pm on date to reserve a table. served before the show. Lyon Books: Booksigning with 6:30pm. award winning authors Tina Gower Sierra Nevada Big Room: Second and Stephen Sotting. 7-8pm. night of Mother Hips. Doors open 6pm, music starts at 7:30pm. All Ages. $28.50 (Sold Out.) An optional buffet will be served before the show. lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Dex: Stress Relief (Straightedge Intermediate Bellydance class with power violence), Icko Sicko, Groove BellySutra. 6-7pm. $8 Street (HC). 9pm. All Ages. $5. The Bear: Bear Wear! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear. Mug Club
24 MONDAY
25 TUESDAY
Trivia Night plus 26 WEDNESDAY Woodstock's: Happy Hour. Call @ 4pm on date to lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open Mic. Singers, songwriters, musicians, vocalists and comedians. All ages. 7pm. The Bear: Trike Races. Wint-shirts and Bear Bucks. Post time lOPm. Mug club 4- lOpm. Cafe Flo: Way Out West Country Showcase featuring The Blue Merles 7-9:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Swing Dance Wednesday. 8- lOpm Chico Women's Club: West African Dance with Imelda Mata. Live drumming. 5:30-7pm. $10. Chico Women's Club: Ecstatic Dance. Live music played by the TranceFormation Band. 7:15pm. DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups 6pm. Duffy's: Dance night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9pm. $1. Feather Falls Casino: Dance Club. Dress to impress! 9:30pm. $5 cover includes one drink. Tackle Box: Swing Dance Wednesday; classes 7-9pm. VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The Beach): Laurie Dana. 7-9pm.
reserve a table. 8pm. 7:30-9:30pm. $20. King's Tavern: DJ Dancing. 9pm. Maltese: live Music. 9pm. Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am. Dex: OLIO, Disco Church, and FONS.
27 THURSDAY DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. Followed by Mark Sexton Trio. 8pm. Downtown Chico: Thursday Night Market: Ascent Music Academy, folk music and children's stories from Suzanna Holland. 6-9pm. Graduate: Red Bull Movie Night. lOpm. Grana: Live Jazz w/ John Seid 5:308:30pm. Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7- lOpm. Sign-ups start@ 6pm. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9pm. LaSalle's: Happy Hour on the patio featuring Fly Paper. 6-9pm. No cover.
. coiipon.fiir·1
~·:;;;:~:;~··nrmg ·lil -trus
$1 OFF Pops-size Piel Hours: Mon-Wed & Friday 11am-8 pm @ Spike's Bottle Shop 1270 Ea st 1st Avenue 530.864.2760
,
:
' ' '( \:. •
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
SATURDAY, JUNE 29rH
FRI-MON, JUNE 28rH_JULY 1sr
Three Fingers Whiskey
Wild Mountain Faire
LOST ON MAIN
LAKE CONCOW CAMPGROUND
There's such a thing as really good country music, the kind people who don't think they like country would hear and inadvertently find themselves tapping a foot and grinning. It exists on that elusive borderline between Johnny Cash and Cream, between Rock and Billy, between what you expect, and what turns out to be awesome .. .like cowboy boots with a cute little minidress. Chico's own Cammie award wirming Three Fingers Whiskey can change your mind. Admission is just $5. Starts at Spm.
If you're looking to escape your super boring routine, here's a nice local festival out of the valley heat. Featuring an array of music from many local bands, as well as festival favorites such as Jellybread, Tracorum, SambaDa, Delhi to Dublin, Marcia Griffiths, and Mystic Roots. There will also be tons of workshops and opportunities to enjoy the beautiful lakeside campgrow1d. Parking is included in the price of Day passes for $30, or weekend Camping passes for $75. Starts Sam on Friday.
HERE IS ACHANCE TO
• •• • ••• • ••• • •• • ••• • • •• • ••• • ••• • •• • ••• • •• • • •• • • •• • ••• • •• • Maltese: Karaoke 9Pm-Close. Panama's: Eclectic Nights- Buck Night & DJ Eclectic spinning favorites of today and yesterday on the patio. 9pm. Quackers: Karaoke Night with Andy. 9pm-lam. VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic Performance w/ Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No cover. Woodstock's: Open Mic Night. The Hub: FAME Thursdays DJ Daneing. 9:30pm-1:30am. 21 +.No Cover. Cafe Coda: Astronaut, Rolling through the Universe, Red Sky. Spm. $5 Monstros: Aberrance (groove thrash metal), The Reality Show (hardcore from Finland), Doomtrooper (hardcore crust from Reno), Epitaph of Atlas (fuzz rock from the dirts). Spm. All ages. $5. Chico Theatre Company: Marvelous Wonderettes, Th-Sun. 7:30pm Adults $20, kids 12 and under $12. Paradise Grange Hall: Openmikefull. Come share your talents in a 10-minute spot on our stage. Dex: Z-Rock Rock Fight. Sorin vs. Frankie Doppler's Nuclear Sunrise.
Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm. T-Bar: Live music 7-S:30pm. Tortilla Flats: Latin Nights. Espanol & English DJ dancing with lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: DJ El Kora de Chico. Writing Group. 3:30-5pm Tackle Box: Rock trio Driver. 9pm. The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris. 21+. No Cover. 9pm-close. $2, $10 VIP. Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Lake Conrow: Wild Mountain Fair, Fri-Sun. Music, food, camping, NaBogg. llam. 7pm. All ages. $3.
28 FRIDAY
Crazy Horse Saloon: DJ Hot Rod and Mechanical Bull contest. 9pm1:30am. Downtown Plaza: Friday Night Concert Series with Kyle Williams & Company- soulful acoustic pop. Sponsored by Gabrielle Ferrar Diamonds. Free kids art activities hosted by Chico Art Center. 7-S:30pm. Duffy's: Pub Scouts - Happy Hour. 4-7pm. Surrogate and The Shimmies, 9:30pm$5. Kelly's Tavern (Oroville): Karaoke with Mora Sounds. 7-llpm. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9pm. Maltese: Fabulous Friday LGBTQA+ Dance Party. 9pm. Peeking Chinese Restaurant: BassMint - Electronic Dance Party with local and regional DJs. 9:30pm. $3-5.
ARE YOU A DESIGNER
Cal Skate: Adults Only Skate Night. 9-ll:30pm. $6. lS+ DownLo: Live music with MazAzul. 9pm. 9 Ball Tournament. Signups noon, starts 1pm. LaSalle's: 19SONOW! Spm. Park Avenue Pub: Live music with Max Minardi. 6:30-9pm. Quackers: Live DJ. S:30pm- lam. Manzanita Place: Wildflower Music tive American village, fishing, swimFestival. Junior Toots, Gravybrain, ming, and more. Gates open Sam. $30 Rocker T, Black Fong, Matthew day pass, $75 camping pass. Clough, John Seid & Friends, Old El Rey Theatre: Wanderlust Circus. Grove. 12- lOpm. $30, kids 12 & Acrobats, jugglers, dancers, and under are free. aerialists 7-Spm. All ages. $1S adults, Lost on Main: Three Fingers Whis$13 kids. key, Alt/Country. Spm. 21+. $5. Cafe Coda: New Orleans Rhythm Lost On Main: LuckyIAm w/ Dj and Blues Swamp Daddy + The Amy Nykon, B-Lee of the Hooliganz & Celeste Band. Doors 7:30, music Cootdog of Mystic Roots. 9pm. Spm. $5. Dex: Ashes Cd release party w/ Tackle Box: Country from Northern Voltaire, Taunis Year One & BlackHeat. $3. TieHero. S:30pm. All ages. $5. Maltese: DJ Spenny. 9pm. Biggs Community Hall: Home town celebation fundraiser dinner.
30 SUNDAY
29 SATURDAY 1078 Gallery: California Bleeding, Rodent Lord and Amigo the Devil. Spm. $5. All ages.
SPIKE'S BOTTLE ==SHOP== LARGEST selection of Spirits, Beer & Wine in Chico. 800+ beer varieties!
Crazy Horse Saloon: Sunday Funday comedy and popcorn. Dex: Blood Cabana, Nuclear Reactor, Seize the Sun, and Love Lost Maltese: Live Jazz from Bogg. 4-7pm
Sierra Nevada 6 Packs
ONLY $5.49 12 Pecks $10.99
No other dfscounts oxpllVI 7•20-2013
PROVE IT GET OUR ATTENTION! We are looking for a talented, energetic, and eager desginer to join our intimate team.
TO LEARN ABOUT US synmedia.net
ABOUT YOU You are awesome. You have mad design skills. CS Suite is your playground. You laugh at Comic Sans. You love the Internet. You're honest, reliable, well organized, savvy, loyal, fun to be around, etc
HOW TO APPLY Please email Karen@synmedia.net 1. Resume and ideally a link to an online portfolio or some websites that you've worked on. 2. Brief intro email stating why you feel this position is a good match for you.
1270 East 1st Ave. Chico • 893-8410 • SpikesBottleShop.com
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
ts I
ON THE TOWN >/:,..
I
SYNTHETIC THOUGHTS PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID â&#x20AC;˘
"""â&#x20AC;˘
-
Jaime O'Neill jaimeandkarenoneill@msn.com
)
We Oughta Be Ashamed Of Ourselves When Doug LaMalfa was running for Wally Berger's congressional seat and I would see his campaign posters alongside Highway 99 into Chico, it was hard not to feel a certain revulsion for LaMalfa's slogan, "He's one of us'.' Here was a guy born the heir of a whole lot of prime agricultural acreage out in Richvale, a guy who has been the recipient of government subsidies since he was in diapers, and a guy who hypocritically preaches self-reliance for people who didn't enter the world with his ticket to ride the gravy train. He's about as corrupt as they come, and as duplicitous and phony-so to have him advertise himself as "one of us;' and then get elected to congress by "us" just makes his constituents look like a bunch of ignorant hicks, too dumb to know when they're getting snookered by a snake. I'm one of those constituents. I didn't vote for LaMalfa, but I did write some lines of editorial-page copy urging others not to vote for him ... not if they wanted to send a man to D.C. who gave a fuck about the working people of his district (a gerrymandered hunk of real estate carved out to ensure that Republicans could never lose, no matter how braindead or corrupt the candidate they put up). After all, ol' Wally Herger got re-elected for well over a couple of decades, though no one ever caught Mr. Herger ever saying anything that would have challenged the intellect of pocket lint, or doing much that improved the lives of the majority of people in his district. But Herger looks almost like a statesman of stature compared to Congressman LaMalfa,
I
16
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
a guy whom even the Wall Street Journal recently held up as a scoundrel in a piece that detailed how LaMalfa, the foe of "big govern ment;' has been spending all his energies working to get bills passed that would put even more money into the pockets of guys who grow exactly the same kind of rice he grows out there on his Richvale holdings. If you watch or read the news, you may have noticed how many really stupid Texas politicians are getting themselves elected to Congress-guys who then go on to make news precisely because they are either spectacularly venal, spectacularly stupid, or both. LaMalfa fits with that company right down to his hat and his boots. Dumber'n dogshit, but just smart enough to do what's needed to line his own pockets.
"One of us?" Jesus Christ, I hope not.
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
WHY ARE YOU SMILING? Kenneth Kelly kenneth.kellyl2@gmail.com
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COMNANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
ON THE 1iO~V/N 'W
First Impressions A couple years ago I won one of the Bustolini's Stand-Up competitions. Later I was talking to a woman who was in the audience the night I won, and she told me that I didn't win because I was the funniest- I won because I was the cutest. At the time, not only did the idea of me being cute sound preposterous; the idea that I won a comedy competition based onlookssounded absolutely absurd. "Hot" comedians are a rare breed, and whether stand-ups like Anthony Jeselnik and Daniel Tosh received their television shows based on merit or on their dashing good looks is up for debate. It seems clear that looks don't get one as far in stand-up comedy as they do in other fields. If comedy were based on looks, there's no way dudes like Louis CK, Jerry Seinfeld and George Carlin would have risen to the top. Despite knowing this, that woman's comment bugged me for months. I almost started believing that I wasn't that funny, and I was just getting by on my Lincecum-esque dork chic. I remembered something John Ross told me: that an audience can decide whether or not they like you before you even open your mouth. This isn't true in all circumstances, but an audience member will judge a stand-up comedian and immediately anticipate a certain brand of jokes before that comedian reaches the mic. Obviously, a comedian's jokes can change the audience's mind. If the audience decides they're going to like you, as a comedian you need to justify that decision.
So in the instance of whether or not I won Bustolini's because I was cute: I didn't. But I think the audience had already decided they were going to like me, and I was able to back up that decision. Of course, it's not just being handsome that determines whether an audience is initially going to like you. It's everything about your outward appearance: energy, confidence, clothing. I've noticed I can get away with darker material if I look more presentable. I used to tell a joke about how I could never be a rapist if I wanted to (which I don't!), and when I told it dressed in my usual Anthony f eselnik way (clean clothes, neat hair, glasses), it would kill. But once, I told that joke when I had my hoodie up (so looking a bit like the Unibomber) and instead oflaughing, it seemed like the audience was thinking, "I think this guy actually thinks about raping people:' (Which I don't! Also, ICl love to explain my rationale for approaching a rape joke, but I'm running out of words and would need another column.) Speaking of different columns, if you're wondering why I haven't mentioned women in an article about "physical appearance vs merit;' it's not an oversight. The situation, unfortunately, is different for women and I don't have enough room to adequately cover the subject. You'll just have to wait a few weeks. Sorry.
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
11
I
ON THE TOWN
LIKE, LITERALLY
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COMNANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
Sara Calvosa sara@synthesis.net
#Ocean lane The Ocean at the End of the Lane Neil Gaiman William Morrow Books At some point months ago, I must have pre-ordered a signed copy of Neil Gaiman's new story. I vaguely remember something about it; I also remember a lot of red wine happening, maybe some Doctor Who with my cats .. .it seems a natural leap. It showed up on my doorstep in an unassumingly small padded yellow envelope from a bookstore I'd never heard of. I am not one to linger over an unopened package, so I destroyed the envelope, and what I held in my hands I could hardly believe. It was signed by Gaiman. It had a shiny gold sticker on the front. It was totally a brand new book signed by the author. I looked through my shredded scraps of envelope to see who was going to be my new most favorite person and I saw that it had come to me, from ... me. I pieced together some hazy rememberings ; was it possible that Sara from the past ordered a book to come just in time for Sara from the future 's birthday? Thank you Sara from the past! It's a nice diversion from her constant screwing me over with hangovers, procrastination, and bad choices about bangs. I had to watch an intensely hellacious city council meeting before I could dig into my freshy new book so finally, after 11 pm, I crawled under the covers and cracked it open. I was going to read just one chapter and then go right to sleep. I finished the book around 3am, and I felt like the whole world needed to wake up to talk to me about what I'd just experienced. The Ocean at the End of the Lane made me remember a time when I could freely grab a peanut butter ' n honey sandwich, a book or
18
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
two, and then set off to find a reading spot most enchanted. Somewhere near a stream, or on a carpet of snackable shamrocks by a spring box, or up a tree that had fallen between the fork of another tree, maybe on a swing sitting sideways with my back pressed up against the rope, a place where I could shift and roll around when my neck became tired from looking down or my arms grew fatigued from holding the book above my face. Someplace I could spend all day, nestled, undisturbed and comfortable, truly lost, in a good book. I discovered mysteries in those places--characters, geography, dreams, words and ways to describe the world, and I remember seeing my reflection at the bottom of the mossy wooden water tank and wondering which me was staring back and if I was the only me that there would ever be and feeling alive with my unique and magical me-ness. I also remember being frightened, and wondering whether or not trolls really had trapdoors under fake fairy rings. Here 's my meta about The Ocean at the End of the Lane: the narrator finds himself sitting on a bench, recalling the wonders and horrors of his childhood. This book was my bench, my magical remembering place. I felt like I was a character outside the story, as though the time after I set the book down and began remembering my own enchanted childhood was the true conclusion-the ultimate in audience participation. Maybe Sara from the past really ordered this for Sara from the future so that we could remember what it was like to have an unbridled imagination, just to marvel at our us-ness for a little minute again. SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
SCENE REPORT by Jaime O'Neill
PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
ON THE TOWN \
-
. ,.
Della Mae June 18 I Sierra Nevada Big Room Beauties from Boston: Della Mae brings Bluegrass to the Big Room There aren't many bands that visit Chico not long after making a 43-day jaunt through Pakistan, Kazakhstan, Kyrgyzstan, Tajikistan, Turkmenistan, and Uzbekistan. Hell, there aren't many bands who've even heard of most of those places. But the U.S. State Department thought that five prodigiously talented young women, steeped in knowledge of and skill in playing deeply American music, might just be good representatives for our country in that volatile region of the world. So, Della Mae (in the persons of Celia Woodsmith, Courtney Hartman, Shelby Means, Jenni Lyn Gardner, and band founder Kimber Ludiker) hit the bumpy roads south and east of eastern Europe, pickin' and singin', conducting music programs for children, playing concerts for audiences who were hearing their kind of music for the first time, and collaborating with local musicians to merge very diverse musical cultures.
And, because of that, I was one of very few people in the world who got to hear an allfemale five-piece bluegrass band singing a song in Urdu (the national language of Pakistan) on a Tuesday night. In addition to that Urdu number, the lovely quintet did a bunch of their own tunes from This World Oft Can Be, their new Rounder Records release. Their set list included songs by John Prine, Doc Watson, and Del McCoury, and
they responded to a standing ovation with an encore that closed with a rousing rendition of"Columbus Stockade'.' The band was ending their first-ever tour through through California, and they were over the moon with the reception theya gotten everywhere they played. In Chico, they were enveloped in the love and appreciation of north state bluegrass fans.
CHECK IT OUT! If you see yourself pictured here you can
tag
your photo on our Life In Chico Facebook page!
facebook.com/chicoca
These five young women were as easy on the eyes as they were on the ears-all of them adding good looks to their abundant musical talents. But, as the Big Room's impresario Bob Littell told me before they took the stage, their looks wouldn't carry them far if they couldn't play. And boy could they play. And sing. Like angels. In harmony. As an aside, I have to include a little bouquet to the aforementioned Mr. Littell-a guy who has not only brought some of my favorite musicians to town over the years, but has also introduced me to a whole lotta exciting musical acts I may never have even known about, were it not for the ongoing musical education his venue provides (not only to me, but to music lovers throughout northern California within driving distance of the Big Room). Della Mae was the latest of Bob's bright boons to music lovers here.
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
19
+
路路~the
Frank was on the way to murder his wife. His unlicensed, loaded 22-caliber revolver was on the seat beside him, along with a Hallmark card in which he declared his undying love for his wife in poetry so saccharine as to be scarcely believable. Edie's airline tickets were in the pocket of his cheap plastic raincoat. The hole he had dug (behind some brush just off a dirt road five miles west of Paskenta, during his recent hunting trip) was deep enough. It was 11:13.023 am. Frank was driving the back road to
his house as fast as he dared. He had asked Brother Mason, head elder of the Nord Believer Baptist Church, to shepherd the aging flock of bluehairs through a carefully prepared Sunday School lesson. Frank had assured his congregation that he would be back in time to preach his Easter sermon after he had taken his wife to the Chico Airport. He called his wife on his cell phone. Edie answered after the first ring. Her bags were packed. Frank was a punctual man, and she knew it was important to him to begin that Easter Sunday worship service promptly at 12:30. His estimated time of arrival at the house was 11:18. Once inside the house, while wearing the raincoat, Frank would shoot Edie while embracing her-thereby muffling the sound of the shots. He would fire when her back was to the open front door. In the unlikely event the smallcaliber bullets penetrated her body, they would be lost in the orchard that bordered the driveway. He would then carry her through the house to the garage, where he would dump her on the plastic leaf bag he had laid down that morning. Then he would stuff her, the raincoat, the leaf bag, the contents of the suitcase and carry-on bag, and her purse (minus wallet and cellphone) into the large heavyduty plastic bag he had salvaged from the dumpster behind Ginno's Appliances. He would return the empty suitcases to their places in the storage shed. After backing the car into the garage, he would stuff her into the trunk. After the Easter service, he would slide her into the hole above Paskenta and cover her with dirt and rocks. The Hallmark card would be left on the credenza.
I
20
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
+
luckiest inan~ 路the world
The church con had been easy enough. The former pastor of the little church that Edie attended had died of a heart attack; Frank's lie about having been a theology student, along with some phony transcripts and his wife's backing, had secured the job. Frank was raised on the theology of Oral Roberts and Pat Robertson. He preached their brand of hellfire-and-brimstone Evangelical Christianity, and he delivered his sermons with energy, confidence and calculated passion. His reputation grew as a marriage counselor and child psychologist. Church attendance grew from nine to fifty regular members. Frank had a charismatic personality and the movie-star good looks of a middle-aged Johnny Depp. He had met Edie after a fortydollar investment in an online dating service. This was after his third wife had disappeared. It was rumored that she left the country in the company of the vice president of a local bank. Heartbroken, Frank Steele (alias Thomas Hurd, alias Bertrand Lane, alias Christopher Reason) left town for the healing solitude of his grandmother's farm in northern Idaho.
only to church and to the occasional shopping spree in San Francisco. She laughed easily and often. Frank and Edie had been married for two years. That was about as long as he could comfortably keep up the pretense of being a loving husband-and he knew that Edie was beginning to regret not only their marriage, but also that she had made it possible for him to become pastor of her church. The signs were clear. There were questions about their finances, about how he spent his time during the week when he said he was doing research in the library at Chico State, and about his counseling sessions with a female
~'!:::::J
~..--'--~~~---.........,,...~ "'--~~~~""'"--~-~ =-= -~
~
-
Edie had been a widow for ten years before she married Frank. She was a Doris Day look-alike, four years older than him. She was innocently wideeyed, and wore makeup SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
member of the church. Edie had also developed an interest in the church books. (Frank had persuaded his parishioners to build a new church. Almost $100,000 of the money that had been raised was now in a joint, high-interest bank account in the Cayman Islands, along with $50,000 of his wife's savings. As church treasurer and loving husband, it had been child's play to get the necessary signatures.) It had taken Frank over a month to convince Edie that the trip to Niles (a suburb of Chicago) to visit her ailing sister was a duty, as well as a well-earned vacation. That month had practically killed him. He was so attentive, considerate and passionate that his mistress-slash-accomplice had actually become jealous. Jane was not the brightest bulb on the tree, and when Frank met her in the checkout line at Raley's-and seduced her without offering anything more than a story about a loveless marriage and the promise of his undying love-she became central to his planning. She was forty-seven, unattached, and new in town. Even though she was a peroxide blonde, she had his wife's creamy complexion and generous lips. He was convinced that Jane could pass for Edie if she wore sunglasses and a light-brown wig. When he discovered that her lifetime dream was to be a member of Oprah's studio audience, he was confident that he was planning the perfect crime. (It was a shame that he might have to disappear before he took the congregation for a measly hundred grand, but his fingerprints were all over everything, and it was unrealistic to think he couldn't somehow be linked to the case of the disappearing banker and his former wife during a missing persons investigation.) Jane was convinced that Frank had arranged a clandestine romantic week in Chicago that included a shopping spree and a ticket to Oprah's television show. He would join her there the next day. She only needed to pose as his wife. (He told her that Edie was spending two weeks in a Tahoe drug rehabilitation center, and their deception was necessary to protect his wife's reputation as well as his own.) Frank had supplied Jane with a recent picture of his wife, along with a faux zebra-skin coat given to her by the ladies' aid society at the church. When Frank picked her up at her apartment, she was to be wearing the coat, a wig that matched the photograph in color and style, and dark glasses. He would then hand her Edie's tickets, cell phone and driver's license. Jane was to carry on her own clothes and sundries. Jane was excited and enthusiastic. Frank was confident.
Wondering where to find
The Synthesis? At these fine purveyors of cool things and stuff: Tin Roof
Melody Records
Kinder's Deli
Bustolini's
Duffy's
Monstros Pizza
The Graduate
Down Lo
Liquor Bank
Eye Of Jade Tattoo (LOST)
La Familia
Cafe Coda
Care
Butte County Cheese Steak Shop Library In Motion Fitness Cafe Mondo Big Chico Burger Celesti no's Pizza
Has Beans (on Humbolt)
Peet's Coffee
Doughnut Rising
Woodstock's Pizza
Mama Celeste's
Donut Nook
Beatniks
University Bar
Aca Taco
Holiday Inn
Downtown Liquor
Kona's
Oasis
Grilla Bites
Gordo Burrito
Upper Crust
Ray's Liquor's
End Zone
El Patron- Lowe's
Aca Taco
Craig Hall
Farm Star
Cal Java
Bella's
Sin of Cortez
Tackle Box
La Salle's
Mountain Mike's Pizza
Sol Mexican
The Maltese
Marcell i's
Empire Coffee
Nash's
Angie's Poker Club
Sacred Art
Joe's
Cookie Shop
The Roost
Celestina's
5 & Eye
Cafe Flo
Madison Bear Garden
Riley's
Mangrove Bottle Shop
Has Beans
Chico Immediate
Upon arrival in Chicago, Jane was to take a taxi to the Hilton where Frank had reserved a room in his wife's name. She was then to text-message him that she had arrived safely, using his wife's cellphone. What Frank did not tell Jane was that the following day, after a detour to Graeagle to buy gas, he was flying to Chicago out of Sacramento (as Christopher Reason) to kill her and dump her body and personal effects into Lake Michigan. (Small pleasure boats with cabins could be rented for the day.) Then he would use his wife's electronic signature to transfer the money in their joint account to a Panamanian bank that would, for 10% of the transfer amount, discreetly deposit the remaining funds in a real estate corporation account in a branch of Bank of the West in Houston, Texas. In the meantime Frank would fly back to Sacramento, sheepishly buy trout in a supermarket market in Quincy and "return" from the four days of solitary fishing in the lakes and streams west of Graeagle. Frank had included his fishing trip and Edie's trip to visit her sister in the "Church and Community News" section of the previous week's church bulletin. The Meteor entered the Earth's atmosphere traveling at 17,000 mph at exactly 11:15.131873 am. When that happened, the place and time of its impact was predetermined. The Meteor wasn't happy about this physical requirement because it was impossible to perfectly gauge the speed of Bob's car. However, given his mass, the generous kill zone it provided, and the elapsed time to impact, there was no way he could fail.
by Andrew Hanson • Illustrations by Cheyenne Warthen FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
ADOPT ME! Mickey is a sweet little Yorkie who bonds very strongly with his favorite humans and is looking for his last chance at lasting love.
•
2579 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 • (530) 343-7917 • buttehumane.org
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
21
I
ARIES
GEMINI
LEO
LIBRA
SAGITTARIUS
AQUARIUS
This week begins with publie ambition and the leftover fallout from last Sunday's full moon. You are in a conscious place where you need to make a decision. Overcome petty fears. Accept the fact that you are the captain of your ship. Family issues become activated. Do things to honor your parents. Avoid any new plans after Tuesday when Mercury goes retrograde. The moon will be in Aries on Saturday and Sunday. Seek new solutions to physical as well as emotional
The Gemini people that I have known all have somewhat eccentric values. They like to spend money on creative projects. Mercury goes retrograde early Wednesday morning. Don't spend money on anything other than the necessities oflife after Tuesday. Keep things simple and save yourself some heartache. Tuesday and Wednesday invite exotic experiences and higher learning. The weekend looks like a great time for parties and hanging with new people.
Your relationship with yourself ultimately affects your relationship with others. Get some alone time when you can. Grab a nap or get some extra sleep. You'll get a boost from Venus entering your first house on Thursday. Your imagination is active and you'll
Venus moves from your career house to your social house this week. This is a good time to catch up with your friends and to throw some sort of creative party. Seek a better plan for dealing with future challenges. Tuesday and Wednesday are great days for dealing with your kids and creating more art. You are in the public eye more this week. Show off your best talents and skills. Beware of Mercury retrograde. Don't make promises you can't keep.
Jupiter moves into your eighth house this week. Just when you thought there was too much sex, birth, and death, you get another hit of intensity. Avoid borrowing money after Wednesday. Seek a resolution to any disputes you may have had. This may be a good time to give in to other people's desires. Face the music about yourself. There is no need for escape, for fleeing your difficulties will only make things worse. By Saturday you'll be feeling more love, or at least lust.
Owning your power is best expressed when serving others these days. The moon will be in Aquarius on Tuesday and Wednesday. You'll be more empowered to make the necessary improvements on your life. Opportunities for temporary work are likely to come up. Avoid any petty squabbles at work. Be willing to fix things. Monitor health issues and your own level of burnout. Pace yourself and take life in small bits. Turn big chores into step-by-step little chores.
feel like being creative. Otherwise, help others that are isolated or less fortunate than yourself. This is a time of karma for you. Start each day with a prayer. The weekend looks great for travel and exploration.
problems.
TAURUS
CANCER
VIRGO
SCORPIO
CAPRICORN
PISCES
Be aware of excess gossip. What kind of information really inspires you? Why are you learning what you're learning? Let us take
Mood swings are common with us, especially right after a full moon. Much is focused on taking a new direction. Jupiter moves into your first house Tuesday; heralding a year of growth and expansion. This is thought to be a lucky time for you. Sometimes with growth there are growing pains. Thursday and Friday are great days for travel. Be open to a magical world every day. You'll need to be at your best over the weekend as you're likely to be seen.
Mercury goes retrograde in your eleventh house. Situations involving your friends and their troubles are likely to come up. Your social world will be facing some type of challenge. You begin Monday creatively inspired There is a lot of information dealing with social changes. Some oflast month's career challenges will begin to settle down. Take time to do things that your future self will thank you for. Thursday and Friday are your best days.
This is the best time of year for you when it comes to travel and exploration. It's also a good time for taking on challenges that you previously might have thought were too big for you. Be a part of having a higher love. Do things to nurture a better future for yourself and others. Sexual curiosity is still high. Initiate a safe dialog on your sexual desires. Thursday and Friday are higher-vibration days for love, play and creation. Work on chores over the weekend
You begin the week strong with the moon in your first house. Most everything has to do with relationship issues these days. What kind of partner are you? Are you a giver or a taker? A user or a provider? It's not always that simple. Work on yourself before blaming other people for the predicament that you're in. Give
You are in your element. Water inspires deep emotions, imagination and psychic energy. Get over your limitations and be an overcomer. The wind is in your sails and now it's time to go with the rising tide. Make yourself more available for love and play. The moon will be in Pisces on Thursday and Friday. Love and harmony begin to break through. Be open to things getting better, because they most likely will. Use caution when moving things at home.
our minds to a higher place of love, compassion, and deeper understanding. Taking your consciousness to a deeper place is what this week is all about. Meditate on being at the right place at the right time. Catch up on communication with siblings and friends. Lay low over the weekend, as there is nothing better than sleep and relaxation.
things time during this Mercury retrograde period. Don't break up or make any commitments until July 20th. Things are in flux.
Koz McKev is on You Tube, on cable 11 BCTV. is heard on 90.lFM KZFR Chico, and also available by appointment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net
FE I
SERVICE.as · Fr,ee Loca.11 Pick U p and Del'ivery • Statewide Servil::e oney Back Guar-am:ee 'liO;ftU ..
$ $
HYOU
He'Wk!tt F'aC'brd' - 16"1 - Canon Panasonic - Ok-N::h::ai - fyson
J\ippfe - Xa-ox -· NEC - Brotfier QMS - And Many .M.of!"efr _
I
22
JUNE 24 - JUNE 30, 2013
113.
Mlondasr ~ Frida:!>! (530J893-42S3 • .a.t A .... e.•. Suite c.
"'llfoll Frr-ee ill-800- 63 l -9 99 ~,
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
316 W. 2ND STREET CHICO, CA (530) 891-1639