Thursday night we are CLOSED.
FRIDAY
August 9th 9pm DJ SAVAG3
SATURDAY
August 10th 9pm
Wake of the Dead
3 player teams . Sign up with bartender. Starts at 7PM
8-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up 6PM Starts at 7PM
JAZZ BPM
9-BALL TOURNAMENT Sign-up at noon Starts at 1 PM
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
synthesis
INSIDE THIS WEEK'S ISSUE
IMMACULATE INFECTION
Sara Calvosa sara@synthesis.net
05
BURNING RUBBER For eight years the Nor Cal Roller Girls have been competing like a herd of skating badasses, practicing at Cal Skate for bouts all over California. Amy Olson and Sara Calvosa get a chance to check a big one off their bucket list and head into a practice to see what it's all about. Come to find out this sisterhood of the traveling skates wasn't all about braiding hair and friendship bracelets, it was a caldera of athleticism the likes of which they'd never seen.
PUT A FORK '----'---_;;__'----'------' I N IT
06
This is going to be an interesting week my fellow ChicoAmericans! I anticipate that we'll all be abuzz with opinions, outrageous and otherwise, with our spare pitchforks in the car for impromptu angry mobbing. But in the event that perhaps the next city council meeting ends up putting a damper on your civic outrage, don't worry-I've got The Next Thing! Behold this already flagged and possibly removed Craigslist Job Posting: Full Cups needs Baristas (Chico) We are a woman owned business and will be opening a lingerie themed espresso stand called "Full Cups" and looking to hire several Baristas for all shifts. Hours of operation will be Sam to 7pm Monday through Friday and 7am to 7 pm on the weekends. *Please read everything before you apply*
COMICAL RUMINATIONS
16
LET'S RABBLEROUSE THE CITY COUNCIL! Being a rabble-rouser is not only your right; it's your duty. In these harried times, our town is teetering on the edge of becoming Mordor near the Mountains. We know you're pissed off, we know you want to go down there and tell the city council what's up! But before you do, we've prepared a handy guide for making the most of your righteous rant.
LIKE, LITERALLY
ROUND ROBIN FICTION PART DEUX Our intense new serial fiction installment is in! Katarra Shaw throws her own twist on Chapter Two and let me tell you, it's more of a tornado. Taylor Davis captures the essence of this amazing chapter with another original illustration. If you missed Part l, please check it out online at synthesisweekly. com/round-robin-fiction-round-one-part-one and prepare to be freaked out by talent.
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
07
SCENE REPORT
WHY ARE YOU SMILING?
17 18
21
You must have: -Prefer at least 6 months of experience- but would train the right person -Classy, upbeat and respectful attitude -Be able to stand up for yourself, if needed, towards a customer (male customer base) -Punctual- You must be there ten minutes prior to your shift with hair and makeup don e. -Have YOUR OWN, RELIABLE transportation that will be on site at all times during your shift. -Be open to possible management position -NO DRAMA -Wear appropriate outfits and be able to participate in theme days, will be required that you wear lingerie. NO NUDITY -Strong work ethic -Positive and outgoing personality- We need you to "own it" while you are working.
If you're interested send a narrative about what kind style/attitude you would bring, work history or resume and a minimum of 3 pictures in costume. Please have these reflect your style and what you are comfortable wearing. Please have one shot be a full body photo and one a picture with your face completely visible. Piercings and tattoos welcome! All body types and ages are welcome if you feel you can rock it then go for it. The intent is that we hire people with different styles to fill the various niches and have them develop a loyal following. Pay will be $10.50 an hour plus tips and all shifts are available. For more information here is a Wiki link: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bikini_Barista
Thank You Full Cups Team
Seems legit, right?
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
3
I
WORD PUZZLE
syn thesis For 19 years The Synthesis goal has remained to provide a forum fo r entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.
PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett kathy@synmedia.net
MANAGING EDITOR Sara Calvosa sara@synthesis.net
ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Amy O lson amy@synthesis.net
ASSOCIATE COPY EDITOR Meagan Franklin
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Schuyler Willis graphics@synthesis.net
DESIGNERS Tanner Ulsh, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis .net
DELIVERIES Joey Murphy Molly Roberts
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Danny Cohen, Dillon Carroll, Erica Koenig, Howl, Jaime O'Neill, Jen Cartier, Kenneth Kelly, Koz McKev, Ky Junkins, Matt O lson, Tommy Diestel
Down 3. #14 Rai na D. _ _ __ Ricliard Agostino No .. .stronger restr ictio n that do not exist in o ther party schoo ls wi ll n ot attract stu dent. .. and at end the day it 's not d ad s money that decides schools its t he st uden ts t hemselve.s! If they k now they can dr ink and have more fun in anoth er town at anoL. See More Like · Reply · ~ 3 • 7 minutes ago via mobile Cluis Roseman ot sur pri sed at al l, t he party rep utatio n is wh at attracts stud en ts to attend Chi co State ! Like · Reply · ~ 2 • lS minutes ago via mobile Ricliard Agostino Good poi nt are any o f t he university"s de cision maker s local r es idents? Like · Reply · 2 minutes ago via mobile
4. # 9 11 Tri psy Mc _ _ __ 6. #5 One _ _ _ _ Wonder
1. #.45 Kaliber _ _ __
PHOTOGRAPHY
2. #1234 Double _ __
Jessica Sid Vincent Latham
3. #43 Sheila Prin cess of _ _ __
CALENDAR
5. # 526 Enraged _ _ __
8 . #12 _ _ _ _ Mary Hate
7. #1180
11. #329 Diva _ _ _ _ 'N' Tire
9. #530H Shotgunn _ _ __
12. #24/7 (Ref) Ivan _ __
10. #68 _ __
14. #5150 J-_ __ 16. #23 _ __ 17. #7 Crunch Yo _ _ __
Dikov
11. (Ref) Walk of _ __ 13. #113 Bad _ __
Ben Kirby
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
18. #2010 _ _ _ _ Lee
OWNER
Danny Wr•ight Th e Po lice chie f shou ld b e fired.
19. #77 _ _ _ _ Ho
Like - Reply · ~ 1 • 4 minutes ago via mobile
22. #135 Sponge _ _ __
20 . #423 Ringo _ _ _ Starr
Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published
in these pages are the property of Apartment 8
scratch paper
Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties.
Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law (and our lawl). All
Ricliard Agostino So rry p hone b lows ..
opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the
Like · Reply , 6 minutes ago via mobile
same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even
desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@synthesis.net. Please sign all of your
REMEMBER PEOPLE once th ey take away they are going to k ee p taki ng. Stan d up for you r selves an d rights. T he police work for us not t lh e oth er way aroun d! Like · Reply · ~ 1 • 7 minutes ago via mobile
f acebook.com/ ch icoca
4
ACCOUNTING
Karen Potter
Bryan Stephens Harwick OK LETS MAKE T HIS CLfAR CH ICO PD IS CROSSI G THE LI E. We t he people make those decisions !
I
NERD Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net
15. #16 _ _ _ -Kill - N 21. #99 Lil' Bit _ __
•G ene Skala Its al l about mo ney, ch ico's party rep utati on brin gs in a lot of stud ents, students equal mon ey. The un ivers ity only cares abou t the doHar s not th e town or the crime .•.the leade r s of chico state should be locals, t hen something m ight get done •... Like · Reply , ~ l · 5 minutes ago
Amy O lson calendar@synthesis.net
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.
Word Puzzle created by Bethany Johnson
210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 info@synthesis.net
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
IMMACULATE INFECTION Bob Howard madbob@madbob.com
Scars Sometimes the things we initially find ugly aren't really ugly at all. It's only that they defy our obtuse, traditional methods of categorizing and quantifying the elements that comprise the imaginary world we perceive around us. I know a guy who has some vicious scars-a series of small white blotches where he was stabbed, and a twenty-inch-long zipper running down his sternum. That one is from the doctors opening him up to stop the internal bleeding, and save his life. Myself? I don't have many scars, and the ones I do have are not the result of anything lifethreatening. I used to have a nice crease across my left cheek, from a rose thorn slicing my skin when I was very young. It would disappear and reappear from time to time (basically depending on the weather) up through my early twenties, but I haven't seen it for years. Aside from that, there are two minor scars acquired in surfing accidents-one on the small of my back where a fin sliced me, and the other on the bridge of my nose. A Kevlar board I was riding for the first time gave me that one, and it took a couple of stitches to sew it shut. My most distinctive scar, for many years, was an upside-down smiley face on the meat of my right thigh. That came from a piece of jagged, broken glass that was protruding from a compacted bag of trash I was taking out to the garbage bin.
There is a photo that has been making the rounds on the internet of a woman who has completely masked her mastectomy scars with a sort of halter-top tattoo. The picture has caused some outrage. As the accompanying story goes, the mysterious "powers that be" have been censoring the image, and taking it out of the public arena. I'm not sure how credible those rumors really are. I don't know this woman personally, and my intention certainly is not to disparage her at all, but I'm not enamored of the ink job. To me, it says that those scars are something to be hidden, or made to appear more conventionally pretty. To me, it says those scars are something to be ashamed of. To me, it masks an important story that should be told openly. I've seen a mastectomy scar. At first, one's instinct when looking at the spot where that perfect breast used to be, is to think "that's not a pretty thing." Over time though, that stupid, reactionary first-impression fades. Eventually, I've come to see that scar as a thing ofbeautyas direct evidence of a story that ends on an incredibly positive note. Madbob@madbob.com
Pop's Pizza
Annie's Asian
Ike's Smokehouse
Rebel Nectar
Black Kettle
Caribbean Cafe
Ethel's Sweets
Java Brava
The Hunter & The Farmer
Weiner Man
Maria's Tamales
Tamale Tango
Mayhem! Gourmet Grifled Cheese
Yummy Goodness Italian
Inday's Filipino Food
Chico Chuc
Cupcake Crusader
Pho
Ice
Tacos El Grullense
Generally, we men are open about our scars. No matter how stupid the events were that led to their formation, we wear them like badges; we celebrate our scars. We show them off as if they serve to make us better people. Put a few beers in us, and we're shedding our shirts to show one another the pocks and scratches that sprang from our wild adventures, bad luck, and poor decision-making. This is not the way it plays out for most of the women I know. I think the culture demands that a woman is protected, and that her body remains smooth, unblemished and intact.
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
•
es1s AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
s I
PUT A FORK IN IT
Wild Dogwood "The thing about hiking the Pacific Crest Trail ... was how few choices I had ... there was no escape or denial. No numbing it down with a martini or covering it up with a roll in the hay. .. There were only two (options) and they were essentially the same. I could go back in the direction I had come from, or I could go forward in the direction I intended to go."
- Cheryl Strayed, from her memoir, Wild.
That very sentiment-I could go back, or I can keep moving in my intended direction-has been my mantra many times. My motivation has come, largely, by seeking beauty; it's what keeps me chasing dreams, meaning, and hope, even when darkness clouds my vision.
I
6
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
I am currently enjoying a chapter in life I couldn't have written better myself, even if ICl authored each word, detail, and character. But I wouldn't have this if ICl have turned back. While reading Wild, I somehow found myself frequenting a lovely town that pulses with the heart of the Pacific Crest Trail. I love visiting Dunsmuir, CA. It's where my fiance, Mick, grew up. The tiny town is nestled in the forest among robust evergreens and offers a stunning view of Mt. Shasta. At this time of year you can walk along the roadside and pick plump, wild blackberries full of sweet juice warmed by the sun. Train tracks run right through town. I love the people, the slow pace, the vintage buildings. A group of locals meet for coffee every morning at The Dogwood Diner. My future mother-in-law is one of them.
Jen Cartier jen.l.cartier@gmail.com
When we join them for breakfast at Dogwood, everyone greets us. I get a lot of compliments on my lovely children. We know Cindy, the head cook, by name. My kids order the buckwheat pancakes they love so much: a giant plate of three oversized gluten-free cakes made with hearty and healthy ingredients. Of course, they smother them with real butter and real maple syrup, and they are delicious.
The PCT hikers remind me that living wild means living presently, and that living presently means making choices and trusting our hearts and our instincts and seeing those choices through, no matter what obstacles lay along life's trail. I'm now part of a family facing the future, moving forward-each of us with our own packs, our own supplies, and with each other. I'm
Mick and I each drink several cups of coffee. I can get a breakfast sandwich with eggs and bacon and avocado on gluten-free bread (which happens almost nowhere, but somehow it happens in little ol' Dunsmuir) and Mick can get the same on a croissant. I enjoy the brick walls and the company and the buttery sun shining in through large windows. Pacific Crest Trail hikers pop in for refuge from their long journeys, and we all get our needs (dietary and otherwise) met in this cozy diner.
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
COMICAL RUMINATIONS Zooey Mae zooeymae@synthesis.net
Eat Fresh When I was in high school I dated a boy who worked at Subway. I say "dated;' but really, at that age, what that word meant to me was someone to listen to music and talk about Calvin & Hobbes with. Not a lot has changed except maybe the addition of alcohol. Oh yeah, and sex I guess. Anyway, the boy I dated in high school was sweet, and had extensive knowledge of Bill Watterson, which is always a bonus, but there
was one big caveat. Whenever he got off work, he smelled like bread. Not in a good way, either. As Jim Gaffigan would say, he smelled like "bread that was cooked in a dirty dishwasher:' Isn't that just always the way, though? I remember him not really liking that job too much, although I don't imagine he would have ever acted out at work too badly. Certainly nothing close to how a pair of Subway Sandwich Artists from Dublin, Ohio handled their job dissatisfaction. According to Foodbeast, Cameron Boggs (Instagram user @weedpriest), posted two photos, including one of a penis on a loaf of Subway bread with the caption, "My name is @ianjett and I will be your sandwich artist today'.' The second picture is of a plastic
water bottle about half full of what appears to be frozen urine, with the caption, "Today at work I froze my pee:' Oh Subway. You're gross. In local news, social media is atwitter (see what I did there?) with the recent release of a list of new conditions proposed for all new alcohol licenses in Chico. Some of the proposed changes (for bars specifically) that seem to be inciting the most outrage include: no sale of alcohol in bottles or cans, mandatory security guards when live or amplified music occurs, no alcohol sold after 11 pm, and no happy hour promotions. For restaurants, changes include prohibition of live entertainment and happy hours. I think the key word in that sentence is "prohibition:' Horror stories of police officers out of control, behaving abhorrently and goosestepping all over the rights of citizens are everywhere these days. But that shouldn't mean that we simply accept these changes as an unfortunate sign of the times. These changes could irreparably damage businesses like Cafe Coda, Duffy's Tavern and any other venue that dares to host live music and sell alcohol. For the much anticipated and locally-owned Winchester Goose-an upscale venue that's already hit a number of unnecessary hurdles in trying to open its doors to the public- these new proposals would be a death sentence. To be honest, I've never been to a city council meeting. However, there is one scheduled for Tuesday, August 6 at 6:30pm. It's an ungodly hour to rally, but my thoughts on the matter are that if my dumb body being present in that room with all the other sweaty, angry assholes will help convince the council members that these changes are unacceptable, then I'm up for it. Won't you join me?
High Performance Detail Cleaners Res1dent1al and Commerc1al Clean1ng Servkes! • Apartment
• Business
• Home
• Warehouse
• Office
• and more!
Cost Effect1ve, Customer Fr1endly Clean1ng Servke Fees FREE est1mates wlth walk- through slte 1nspect1on (530)774-1175 http://supercleanpros.webs.com
image source: americansonbritain. wordpress.com
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
"We clean to YOUR specifications!"
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
1
I
. M in~. ~w ~'l
SARA ANO AMY ARe CRAZY ANO oec1oeo TO TRY ROlleR oeRBY: THIS IS A TRUe ACCOUNTIN(j OF WHAT HAPPeNeo.
:============================================================·· .. ·--·
............................ ··························· ···························,·
:·::==========================================================· ·:·:·:·:·:· ...·=·=·· ·=··.. . ·:·:·:·:·:·:.~,, ,•.•.•.•.•.•.•
•
•
'1J~
~ ~,,
•.•.•.•.·.··;·am sore as shit as I write this.
I am not necessarily known for having the "Eye of the Tiger;' or for putting up a fierce face while blazing a trail of win through competitive sportsball games. I'm more like that hippo in Fantasia-I'm an unlikely delicate flower. I've peripherally observed Roller Derby culture, but I've never really aspired to be on a Roller Derby team-I think rollerskating in a circle while listening to Whitney Houston is really fun all by itself, without the added pressure of a frothing pack of lady-skaters breathing down my neck and knocking me over. Falling hurts! And mostly it's embarrassing. Who would deliberately put themselves in a situation where that was pretty much guaranteed to happen? However, I was totally willing to put Amy Olson in that situation. Industrial strength yoga pants. They are a thing, and it was possibly the thing I was most excited about. I thought it was all fishnets and studded elbow pads. Sister Mary Hate told me that there were two schools of thought: there were the compression-pants-serious-business people, and then there were the fishnets. I was definitely compression-pants-srs-biz. Although, I kind of had swamp-ass before I even left the house. Score one for fishnets. Going into this experience, I had a lot of questions: why? Also who, and what? The answers were: 'cuz, and these girls, and practicing Roller Derby. As it turned out, there were a few other things worth knowing.
P
Q
For one thing, I didn't get the memo about being all hardcore-sporty, and spent way too much time coming up with an outfit and a persona. Apparently the perception that Roller Derby is burlesque-on-wheels is inaccurate, and my amazing Bridezilla character concept was a waste of good costuming. I had these neon-green tights with fishnets over them to look more like scales, mitts with stapled-on claws, and this bitchin' lace bustle with spiky green tail thing happening, but it was totally inappropriate. Maybe I'll save it for backyard wrestling. The standard gear is all function: the super hardcore yoga pants Sara was all pumped up about, a simple top, and about 50 pieces of protective body armor that stink like a dead possum's butthole. Thing worth knowing number two: if you
I a
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
~~
d
~
are easily grossed out and want stuff that actually
;«~
~~~
fits well enough to protect you, invest in your own helmet and padding. And for God's sake, bring your own mouth guard. We decided we'd rather lose teeth than borrow one of those.
JA •I
~
C
4
~I~. ~,,I.
BY SARA CALVOSA 6AMY OLSON
I'll admit, even at this point in my life when I've got my self confidence up to an all time high-possibly even too high-I was pretty nervous. And then we thought we were early but we were actually late, and everyone was all badass. Plus I hadn't skated in about a decade, and had been running scenarios through my head all day where I was flailing around the rink like a dying fish while snooty girls laughed at me. I was totally wrong on both counts: I am awesome at rollerskating, and everyone was incredibly welcoming and inclusive. OK, maybe not awesome; I can't skate backwards, or do that rad one-leg-in-the-air-behind-you thing, or "shoot the duck"... or stop without falling or running into something-but I could do the basics, and it was crazy fun. No exaggeration on their niceness though; I never once felt like an outcast. Going back to stopping-stopping is a good thing to know how to do. Toe stops can lead to broken ankles. Doing the pizza-wedge from my beginner ski lessons was a total fail, and the recommended T-stop (where you turn one skate perpendicular to the other and drag to a halt) was the craziest inner-thigh workout I've gotten in years . Also, if you do that one wrong you can still break an ankle. Breaking ankles is something I've become extremely paranoid about in my daily life now; who knew it was so easy? Ankles are important and should be treated with due deference! Most of the practice consisted of running through the various elements of a match. We learned how to weave forward and backward through a pack, how to bump and be bumped, and that if you're going to fall multiple times, you should really try to land on one butt cheek to avoid bruising your tailbone. Just don't make it the same cheek over and over like I did; now I'm all lopsided and my OCD is nagging me to somehow injure the left side of my ass. The most effective non-falling-related technique I learned was to keep your butt down and your tits up. The lower you bring your center of gravity, the easier it is to stay balanced while you're slowing down or getting jostled. The visual we were given was to "imagine you're shitting in the woods;' but we were like, "What the fuck-who poops standing up? And why would we be alone in the woods wearing roller skates?
We're scared!" The tits part of the equation helps keep your back straight; with the intensity of what my body went through, I'm pretty sure that saved me from being bedridden today. Plus it makes your tits look a lot perkier. Life advice. Not only were these girls amazing and super friendly, they had hilariously witty names. It turns out there's a name registry system for the Derby circuit (like the Screen Actors Guild) so there can be only one Sister Mary Hate, or one Slappa Ho (Ah-Ma-Zing names, by the way). Sara and I spent a lot of time time trying to come up with ours. Sara had some great ones, like "TriSaraTops", or "SaraNado!" I was thinking"Brain-eating Amy-ba'', or "Amyostasia" (which is a medical term, meaning a muscular tremor causing difficulty in standing or in coordination). The goal is to strike fear into the hearts of your enemies. As I alluded to previously, I decided to work the "fear of commitment" angle, and shake their confidence with the SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
idea that they might propose to a totally normal person after dating for a few years, but then suddenly BRID EZILLA. Who in their right mind could focus with that mess stewing in the back of their brains? It's like the ultimate form of the Braineating Amy-ba. Of course then I realized I was just going to smash my rad tail with all the falling, so I only wore the mitts for practice and put the rest of my costume back on afterwards so we could get lots of attention when we went for wild tea seltzers at Duffy's. I mean, tough Roller Derby drinks ... warm Bourbon in dirty glasses.
WANT TO
see
THE; DtRBY GIRLS IN ACTION?
NeXT BOUT IS SATUR.DA Y, AUGUST 10, 7PM AT CAL SKATe
McANWHILe, BACK WITH SARA ... At the end of the night, leaving CalSkate, everybody switched back to their regular faces. They were moms, coworkers, regular women-about-town . It was like watching a bunch of Clark Kents reappear, but instead of transforming from a bunch of Supermans, they were a highly coordinated strike team full of rolling, happy badasses. So, why did we do this? What's the purpose of our story? As I ruminate, reflect, and pop ibuprofen, I am overwhelmed by this feeling that even in the tiniest of moments with the NorCal Rollergirls, I felt like I was a part of something really positive and intense. With their friendliness and inclusiveness, the women were like one enormous herd of galloping unicorns drawing me into their magical rollerworld. I wanted to ride with the unicorns so badly! I began the practice feeling conspicuous, self-conscious, and scared for my teethbut I ended practice feeling like I had just climbed a mountain, or discovered uranium, or made it home from the moon all in one piece.
If one thing resonated with me the most, it was that I wanted to go back. I wanted to try again. As awful as I am-barely able to skate and easily bruised-I knew that I would be welcomed, and taught everything that I needed to know. And the point of the story is that here in Chico, we have an amazing community full of athletic, supportive, hilarious, heinous women on roller skates. If you've been itching to try it, or just had the passing thought, "I think roller derby might be funsies;' give it a shot. It's a safe space to test the water, and you'll find that when you fall, there are dozens of smiling faces from all over town reaching out their hands to pick you up. They'll probably knock you over right away again, just for laughs, but you get what I'm saying.
....... ... ................. ' '
....... '
......... •.•.t
'
~ FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
... ... .. .. ..... .. .. .. ..... .. .. ..... .. .Jll!
-----·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-·-· AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
9
I
D.I. Y
Pitchfork Sharpening HOW TO MAKE THE MOST OF YOUR OUTRAGE WHILE AT A CITY COUNCIL MEETING
We've got some pretty serious problems happening here in Chico. We have a massive budget crisis (we can't even get a payday loan right now because our finances are so massively screwed up), our beloved kiddie park is experiencing closures, we don't have any tree gardeners, our police force is understaffed, our fire department is overpaid (depending on who you talk to), our City Manager might be Lord Voldemort, and Chief Trostle is trying to take the fun out of our fundamental right to party. I know that many of you are outraged, and for good reason; it's serious stuff. I'm only making jokes because that's how I cope. And since the Synthesis doesn't really have a political correspondent, you're stuck with me. So if you're planning to head down to the city council meeting on Tuesday to make your voice heard, maybe I can help you out a little. As an inactive observer from my sofa in my underpants with a beer and a bowl of popcorn, I have witnessed-even live-tweeted-many a city council meeting, and I suppose I have some advice.
1. Know what you're talking about. Read up on the issue; be informed. Many a rambling dumbass has gone before the council with misdirected outrage. Hone your outrage like a laser beam of knowledge directed straight into Mary Goloff's brain. ChiefTrostle's recommendations for regulations are just that, recommendations. They are not city law. Yet. Explain why those recommendations are good or bad for Chico in terms of our economy and our culture. Speak to the reason why Trostle is involving himself in policymaking discussions-he is the head of an understaffed police department charged with the safety of our town, but are his efforts better used elsewhere? The public outcry over alcoholrelated deaths in our town last fall called for immediate action-is this an appropriate response, or is Chico State punting their responsibility? Understand the nuances and articulate your point of view.
I
10
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
2. Practice what you're going to say. You only get 2-3 minutes to speak, so if your only plan is to rant your face off like a nutball until they tell you that your minutes are up, then you have wasted everybody's time. The city council wants to hear what you have to say; if you are giving them tasty food for thought, then they will interact with you and ask questions. If they just sit there, confused and blinking at you, then you have failed. Everybody wants intelligent discourse on the issues facing our town. We are all in this together-this town is depending on you to be a part of the solution. Local government is our best option when it comes to improving the quality of our lives on a palpable level, and our local government is in crisis. Be prepared. Two to three minutes can seem like an eternity, or it can go by in a blink. Practice while you're riding your bike downtown. Also, you might want to bring along a sandwich and one of those neck pillows, because hot-button issues draw big crowds and you could be there awhile. You may also want to make a sign and join a rally. Please spell everything on your sign correctly. I volunteer to proofread all your signs, because good spelling = maximum impact. I don't know if getting there early really matters; everybody gets a chance to speak. But if it's 11 o'clock at night, you might not get the kind of engagement from the council that you're hoping for, because they've been at it all day. The Mayor gets confused, Morgan drops F-bombs, Ritter will make you repeat something over and over again, and the rest of them might be napping with their eyes open. Which makes it even more important that you drop a finely tuned public-comment-bomb right into their laps.
3. Respect the situation. You are not at a beer pong tournamentyou're meeting with our elected leaders. Don't tell them off (although it's hilarious for the home watchers, you don't actually
earn any respect points) or personally attack a councilmember. Think of it like the Round Table of Camelot (not the Round Table where you get pizza), and the theory behind why that was a revolutionary concept. Collaboration between elected officials and the people they're serving is essential for a healthy community. You have the opportunity for your voice to be heard-and no, you don't live in Nazi Germany, so knock it off with the Nazi shit. This in no way compares to anything close to that kind of genocidal racial-cleansing blight on the face of humanity. The second you loosely drop the nazi-word into your speech, you have already lost all credibility and are wasting everybody's time, and quite possibly making people dumber for having listened to you. I cannot stress this enough: what is happening to the Winchester Goose is not reminiscent of the Third Reich, and Chief Trostle is not Hitler.
4. Offer solutions. If you have a revolutionary idea that you think might be a possible solution, put it on the table. I, for one, want to hear all of your ideas for potential ways to solve our problems. For example, I think we should begin a real discussion about putting a halfcent local sales tax on the ballot. I know that might not be a popular solution, but at least we're talking like a mature bunch of problem solvers, right? Once you get up to the podium, gently lay down your pitchfork (or a have friend hold your flaming torch) and say, "Hey, I propose that perhaps we could form a committee. I would be willing to be on said committee to discuss the viability of all these ideas. I am qualified to be on this committee because I am smart and dedicated to wading through
BySaraCalvosa
a lot of baloney to find answers:' I don't know; something like that, only more mature. Remember that I will be listening, and I will appreciate the effort that you put into being a rational voice among the cacophony of broken records all playing the crybaby song.
5. Follow through. After you've gone through all of the effort to become an informed, articulate, problem -solving citizen, don't just abandon your cause. If you feel like the only reason you went to the council meeting was to make sure the Goose got their liquor license, and now your contribution to the betterment of your town is complete, we thank you for your service-but please, stay awhile. Right now our town is in for a rocky ride. Before Chico becomes an unrecognizable cesspool of urban nomads, stabbing victims, strip-malls, and live-music-less patios, you should stay involved and be the road block that stops all these things from destroying what is quite possibly one of the friendliest, most welcoming towns in America. Your reluctant political correspondent will be live-tweeting the city council meeting from the safety and comfort of her throne of slacktivism. Feel free to follow @scalvosa.
Image Source: http://www.writingunderduress.com/
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
Sunday, September 8th 12 to 4 p.m. Downtown Chico Advanced Ticket Packages: $15, $20 & $30 Day of Event Add $4 Tickets Available on line at www.downtownchico.com and facebook.com/Downtownchico
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
I 11
I
synthesis
please drink responsibly!
MON TUE WED THU FRI SAT SUN 337 Main St. • 530-343-1745 PLEASE DRINK RESONSIBLY
12
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
" Mon-Fri happy hour 11-2PM S2.SO Dom & Sierra
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR 52.2S Everyday!
3-6PM S3.SO Dbl Wells 6PM - close 58 Dom Pitcher S9 SN Pilcher
Food & Drink specials! 11AM-2PM 52.SO SN & Dom Drafts 2-close 52.SO wells &
teams. Sign up with bartender. Starts 7PM.
All ages until IOPM Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR 52.2S Everyday!
Dom Drafts 53.SO Dbl Wells & Kami shots
WING WEDNESDAY! 52 for 3 Wings 52.SO SN Pini All Day 8PM-Close S3.SO Jim Beam, Captain
11-2PM 52.50 Dom 3-6PM 53.SO Dbl Wells 8-dose
53 14oz Slushies S4 20oz Slushies Add shot for 51 5 flavors to choose from
S4.SO Dbl Bacardi Cck!ls
53 14oz Slushies 54 20oz Slushies Add shot for 51 5 flavors to choose from
54.SO Dbl Bacardi Cck!ls
Mon-Fri 2-6PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints 52 Kami Shooters 1/2 OFF POOL GAME NIGHT! Sl PBR all night All ages until IOPM
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
Mon-Fri 2-6PM 51.SO PBR or Coors Pints
Full Bar in Back Room
S2 Kami Shooters
Weds, Fri & Sal Nights! PBR 52 .2S Everyday!
1/2 OFF POOL 8 Ball Tournament
Sign-up 6PM. Starts 7PM.
Morgan and Jameson
& Sierra Nevada Drafts
S2 Kami Shooters
1/2 OFF POOL Pool League, 3 player
Nevada Drafts
2 DOLLAR TUESDAY'
Mon-Fri 2-6PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR 52.2S Everyday'
Mon-Fri 2-6PM 51.SO PBR or Coors Pints $2 Kami Shooters
1/2 OFF POOL
S3 Soccer Moms
JAZZ NIGHT- Martini
5S Smirnoff Blasters 5S DBL Roaring Vodka
Specials
11-2PM 52.50 Dom &
All ages until IOPM Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
Sierra Nevada Drafts
Full Bar in Back Room
3-6PM 53.SO Dbl Wells 8-Close 52.SO Dom & SN Drafts
Weds, Fri & Sal Nights! PBR S2.2S Everyday'
Open al llAM! Bloody Mary Bar Noon-6PM S8 Dom Pitcher 59 SN Pitcher 8PM-Close 56.SO DBL calls
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
Mon-Fri 2-6PM SI.SO PBR or Coors Pints S2 Kami Shooters
1/2 OFF POOL All ages until IOPM
Bartenders Choice
Full Bar in Back Room
Weds, Fri & Sa! Nights! PBR 52.2S Everyday!
9 Ball Tournament. Sign-up at noon. Starts
!PM. All ages until IOPM
IOAM-2PM SS Bottles of Champagne with entree
54.SO Bloody Mary 5S.SO Absolu! Peppar Bloody Marys
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR S2.2S Everyday!
FREE POOL 1 hr. with every 58 purchase
All ages until IOPM
UPCOMING SHOWS Saturday, August 17 Shelby Cobra and Ryan Davidson Sunday, August 18 ~ ~ Jonathan Richman SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
"'Cc
;:;:r
iil 0
c
:l
co CD
MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE
Happy Hour 11-6PM select bottles & drafts 52.75
Go Downlo
52 All Day
Go Down l o
56 Pulled pork sand w/
fries or salad
DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm 51 Beer 51 Wells 52 Doubles
S2 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts
S2 Kamis -any fhvor
BEAR-E-OKE
OPEN MIC - MUSIC
OPEN MONDAYS
BURGER MADNESS' Bear Burger with fries or salad for 55.29. llam-lOpm.
MUG NIGHT 7-IUO 40oz beer 52.50 or 53 53 Fireball Shot
NEW - BUY ONE GET ONE HALF OFF FOOD MENU! 12-2PM
BEAR WEAR! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear. MUG CLUB 4-IOPM
KARAOKE 9-CLOSE
53 Tea of the Day and Bartender Special
Chicken Strip Sand only 56 before 6 PM
55 Dbl Bacardi & Coke 53 Goldschlager 53 Bushmills
NEW - BUY ONE GET ONE HALF OFF FOOD MENU ! 12-2PM
52 Marqis 53 Cuervo Marqis 52.50 Corona's & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM 51 Dom draft, 52 SN draft, 51.50 wells
CLOSED
HAPPY HOUR
Progressive Night! 8-lOPM 51 Sierra Pale Ale, Domestics, Rolling Rock & well cocktails up IOPM-close 25<:: per
MON-FRI
hour-close
11-~r~ADA DRAFTS
Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM
Jr Grad Burger salad 53.99
w/ fries or
All 16 oz Teas or AMF 53 All Day
Go Oownlo
8-Close Pitcher Specials 56/59/512
TRIKE RACES! Post lime @ !Opm .
SMASHED SPELLING BEE
Win T-shirts and Bear
54 Dbl Jack Daniels Honey Lemonade S3 Jose Cuervo Silver
Bucks. MUG CLUB 4-IOPM
FREE Pool after lOPM
Baby Back Ribs 510.99 Philly Cheesesleak 57 8PM-Close 54 leas
Happy Hour ll-6PM 52.75 select bottles & drafts
!Opm 52 Red Bull Party
52 16oz Wells
Drink specials !
52 Select Beers 53 Teas
BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for 55.29. llam-lOpm.
53 Tea of the Day 53.50 Sky Vodka Cocktails 8-lOPM Two for the Price
Sunrise
of one cocktails and
53 Glass of Wine
menu items
KARAOKE 9PM
53 all teas 56 Sky Vodka and Redbull BUCK NIGHT 9PM-Close 51 WELLS 51 TEAS
54 Dbl Gin & Tonic 52 Scotch & Soda 53 Barenjager
Starters
53 All pints 54 Long Island Teas 10 oz . Tri-Tip Steak w/ Fries or Salad & Garlic Bread 58.99 8pm-Close 54 Jager 55 DBL Vodka Red Bull JO-Close Jr Grad Burger w/ fries or salad 53.99
Buck Night 8-close
Happy Hour 5-8PM SS Hou se Martinis
Sl well cocktails, Sierra
54 Glass of House Wine
Nevada Pale Ale, Rolling Rockdom draft S3 Guiness Drafts, 52 Black Bulle 55 Vodka Redbull
53 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle 51 off Call liquor and bottled beer
53.50 151 party punch 53 Fire Eater Shots 56.50 Apple Cinnamon
Happy Hour 5-8PM SS House Martinis 54 Glass of House Wine 53 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle 51 off Call liquor and bottled beer
Cider 8-9PM 51 pale ale and dom draft up 25¢ per hour until
$2.50 DOM+3~&
PM
$3.50 DOUBLE WELLS
dose Free Happy Hour Food 4PM until ifs gone Happy Hour 11-6PM select wells, bottles and pints 52.75
Baby Back Ribs with Salad, Fries & garlic Bread 510 .99 8pm-Close 54 Single/56 Double Jack or Captain S2 Sierra Nevada 55 Patron
54 Sex On The Beach S4 Sierra Nevada Knightro ON TAP 51 Jello Shots 7-IOPM 53 Rumpy, Jager and Fireball
54.99 Grad, Garden/ turkey Burger w/ fries/ salad
54 World Famous Bloody Joe 55 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka
Drink specials! VIP Bottle Seivice available
55 Bartenders Choice 55
Call To Rent For Private Party Go Downlo
LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY 54.99! Mon-Sat IOpm - lam.
LATE NIG HT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRI ES FOR ONLY 54.99! Mon-Sat I Opm - lam.
BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for 55.29. llam-lOpm.
Bloody Marys 53 Well 54 Call 55 Top shelf 56 Grey Goose
L ounge
V1puttra
New! Wi ne, Cocktail and Food Menus!
-.. _
LGBTQ DANCE PARTY 55 Dbl Vodka Rockstar 53 Fireball 54 Dbl Coconut Press
LIVE DJ 54 Dbl Gin & Tonic 53 Cptn Morgan & Coke 53 Rumpleminz
LIVE JAZZ 4PM TRIVIA 8PM 52.50 Mimosas & Bloody Marys 54 Dbl Cabin Fever (maple whiskey) & Coke
53 Tea of the Day 54.50 DBL Captain Morgan Cocktails 55 Vodka Redbull 54.50 Dbl Bacardi Ccktls
53 Tea of the Day 54.50 DBL Captain plus Bartender Special 54.50 Dbl Bacardi Ccktls
Champagne Brunch 10AM-2PM Happy Hour prices til 8
~ House Made Marti nis and Seasonal Fresh Drinks!
JJePieimJJ Tapas Menu
'PfuJ New Late Night Menu
Power Hour 8-9PM off Liquor & Drafts 9PM-C lose 53 Pale Ale Drafts 59.75 Pale Pit chers 54.50 Dbl Bacardi Ccktls
Happy Hour 5-8PM SS House Martinis S4 Glass of House Wine 53 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle 51 off Call liquor and bottled beer
Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM 51 Dom draft, 52 SN draft, 51.50 wells, Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9-Close 53 Skyy Cocktails & Pale Ale Drafts 59.75 Pale Pitchers
Happy Hour 5-8PM SS House Martinis S4 Glass of House Wine 53 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle 51 off Call liquor and bottled beer
CLOSED
CLOSED
V2
·s100FF . ·----------------------iPhone REPAIR & RESTORE
Regular Rates $60-$90. No other discounts. Expires 8-15-2013
I
1304 Mangrove Ave. (Facing Papa Murphy's Pizza)
530-588-3376
www.Ch icoiStore.com
191 East Second St . • 530.898.9898
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11 , 2013
13
WEDNESDAY, AUGUST 7rH
THURSDAY, AUGUST
srH
Fork in the Road #2
Ladybird
Food Truck Convergence
MANZANITA PLACE
With Hearses and Beerslayer
Did you miss the debut of this event back on July 17th? Were you confused by the fact that Manzanita place is actually the Elk's Lodge, and wound up driving back and forth past the entrance with your head cocked to one side going "I don't knoooow?" Well, apparently you were the only one. Get your act together and join the party, there's a ton of great food to be had and it sells quickly! 6-9pm
Pop Quiz: What sort of music do you most associate with Hillbillies? Doom Metal, obviously. Why did I even ask? Ladybird will come to Monstro's with this absolute cliche of Appalachian Americana-from Tempe, Arizona (by way of South Carolina). It'll be exactly what you're thinking, except there will also be "a bong bashing, beer drinking owlman who sports a beard of bloody seaweed:' All ages. $5. 8pm
MONSTRO'S
• • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • • Cafe Flo: Open Mic SingerSongwriter Night with Aaron Jaqua. The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm 7-9pm Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with Crazy Horse Saloon: All-request Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm karaoke. 21+. DownLo: Pool League - 3 player DownLo: DJ Dancing with DJ Ron teams, signup with bartender. 7pm Dare The Hub: Salsa Tuesdays. IntermediLast Call Lounge: Karaoke. 8pm12am ate lesson 7:15-8:15pm, $8. Beginners Woodstock's: Spelling Bee For the lesson 8:15-9pm, $5. Just dancing 9pm.$2 Grown Ups. 6:30-7:30pm Sierra Nevada Big Room: Donna LaSalle's: '90s Night. 21 +. The Buffalo. 7:30-9:30pm $20. Maltese: Karaoke 9pm-Close. University Box Office: Individual Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke tickets sales begin for the 2013-2014 8:30pm-1am season. Tickets for Chico PerforPark Avenue Pub: Hanging by a String Band. 7-9pm mances and CSU Chico's School of the Arts events will be available. The Tackle Box: Karaoke 9pm Cafe Coda: Jazz is Dead! 1st Monday Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call @ 4pm on date to reserve a table. Jazz celebrates the music of the Grateful Dead. Fred Zeppelin meets 6:30pm Bogg. Doors open 6:30pm, music at Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with 7pm.$10. Shigemi & Friends. 7-9pm Dex: Teen Dance Tuesday. 7pm All Ages, llpm 18+ Nick's Night Club: Game Night. 21 +
vocalists and comedians. All ages. 7pm. The Bear: Trike Races. Wint-shirts and Bear Bucks. Post time 10Pm. Mug club 4- lOpm. Cafe Flo: Way Out West Country Showcase featuring The Blue Merles 7-9:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Swing Dance Wednesday. 8-10pm DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups 6pm. Duffy's: Dance night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9pm. $1. Feather Falls Casino: Dance Club. Dress to impress! 9:30pm. $5 cover includes one drink. Tackle Box: Swing Dance Wednesday, classes 7-9pm. VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The Beach): Laurie Dana. 7-9pm. Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. Call@ 4pm on date to reserve a table. 8pm. 7:30-9:30pm. $20. King's Tavern: DJ Dancing. 9pm. Maltese: Smashed Spelling Bee. WinlOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: ner gets a $25 bar tab. 8:45pm. Intermediate Bellydance class with Jesus Center: Derelict Voice BellySutra. 6-7pm. $8 The Bear: 1/2 off while wearing Bear lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open Writing Group, everyone welcome. Mic. Singers, songwriters, musicians, 9-10:30am. Wear. Mug Club 4- lOpm
5 MONDAY
6 TUESDAY
7WEDNESDAY
14
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
Dex: Hip Hop Wednesday. $6. 8:30pm Nash's Reastaurant: Midnight Blues Society open Blues Jam. 7pm Manzanita Place: Fork in the Road Food Truck rally. 6-9pm LaSalle's: The Mondegreens, Miss Lonely Hearts, Samvega. 9pm
8 THURSDAY DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. Followed by Mark Sexton Trio. 8pm. Downtown Chico: Thursday Night Market. 6-9pm. Graduate: Red Bull Movie Night. lOpm. Grana: Live Jazz w/ John Seid 5:308:30pm. Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7- lOpm. Sign-ups start@ 6pm. Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9pm. LaSalle's: Happy Hour on the patio. 6-9pm. Live music from Off The Record. No cover. Maltese: Karaoke 9Pm-Close. Panama's: Eclectic Nights- Buck Night & DJ Eclectic spinning favor-
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
FRIDAY, AUGUST
9TH
SATURDAY-SUNDAY, AUGUST
1QTH_ll1H
<Jlire ©ininu in the <TraJilion
Shortz! Film Fest
Ice Cream Social
of8outliem <Jtaiu
STANSBURY HOME
EL REY THEATER
Lately there has been an appalling lack of olde timey Ice Cream Socials. When was the last one? Can you even remember? I blame this lapse for the degradation of manners and civil discourse. Kids these days think eating ice cream is all about video games and back-talking your elders, and they think being social is all about the face books. Put a part in their hair and take them to see a piece oflocal history, plus the California Consolidated Drum Band and gelato sundaes. Donation $6/ Adults, $4/Kids 12 and under. 6-9pm
Movies are too long. Wouldn't it be great if they were shorter? Like, really really short? And then there could be a bunch of them showing back to back over the course of two days, so you could have a tasty little nugget of a story and then just move on to the next one. Ito be the film version of a tapas party (or walking around Costco with a cart pretending you're shopping). Hey wait! There is such a thing! A thriving scene oflocal, national and international film makers, showing their work at the El Rey all weekend. lpm-8pm both days. 18+.$10
Who will it b
VISITING THE THURSDAY NIGHT MARKET? STOP BY FOR OUR
•••••••• • •• • ••••••••••• ••••••••••••••••••••• •••••••• • •• • ites of today and yesterday on the patio. 9pm. Quackers: Karaoke Night with Andy. 9pm-lam. VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic Performance w/ Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No cover. Woodstock's: Open Mic Night. The Hub: FAME Thursdays DJ Dancing. 9:30pm-1:30am. 21+. No Cover. Paradise Community Park: Party in the Park. Live music from Looking for Eleven. 5:30pm Cafe Flo: Flo 'n the Blues. Live Blues music for the blue at heart with Steven Truskol and Friends. All ages. 7-lOpm Monstro's: Hillbily metal band Ladybird (Tempe, AZ), Hearses, and Beerslayer. All ages. $5. 8pm Tackle Box: DJ Thomas Young. 8pm-lam Dex: Sky Pilot! $7. Lost On Main: Jazz. 8pm
9 FRIDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Writing Group. 3:30-5pm The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris.
9pm-close. $2, $10 VIP. Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. llam Crazy Horse Saloon: DJ Hot Rod and Mechanical Bull contest. 9pm1:30am Downtown Plaza: Friday Night Concert Series with Mossy Creek Sponsored By Smokin' Mo's BBQ. Free kids art activities hosted by Chico Art Center. 7-8:30pm Duffy's: Duffy's Sirens fill in for the Pub Scouts - Happy Hour. 4-7pm. Kelly's Tavern (Oroville): Karaoke with Mora Sounds. 7-11 pm Lakeview Restaurant (Oroville): Carey Robinson Jazz. 6-9pm. Maltese: Fabulous Friday LGBTQA + Dance Party. 9pm Peking Chinese Restaurant: BassMint electronic dance party with local and regional DJs. $3-$5, 9:30pm Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm T-Bar: Live music 7-8:30pm Tortilla Flats: Latin Nights. Espanol & English DJ dancing with DJ El Kora de Chico. Sultan's Bistro: Bellydance Performance, two soloists featured. 6:307:30pm Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music
showcase. 7-lOpm Dex: Sigma, Fallin' to Rise, The Last Scenario Avenue 9 Gallery: Chico Icons 2013: Neighborhood. A group show. Tackle Box: Palomino Stansbury Home: Ice Cream Social. Informal tours and silent auction. Performance by The California Consolidated Drum Band. Donation: $6/ Adults, $4/Kids 12 and under. 6-9pm Lost On Main: DJ SAVAG3
10 SATURDAY lOOth Monkey Books & Cafe: Knitting Circle. 2-4pm Cal Skate: Adults Only Skate Night. 9-ll:30pm. $6. 18+ DownLo: Live music with MazAzul. 9pm. 9 Ball Tournament. Signups noon, starts 1pm LaSalle's: 1980NOW! 8pm Park Avenue Pub: Live music with Max Minardi. 6:30-9pm Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30pm- lam Upper Crust: Acoustic Music Jam, hosted by Butte Folk Music Society. 2-5pm 1078 Gallery: Second Saturdays. A different medium will be highlighted
each time. Dex: Weezy Brown, Adin White, LAD, Shevy Shively, +more! El Rey Theater: Shortz Film Fest! Internation, national and local short films. lpm-8pm.18+. $10. Tackle Box: Chris Gardner. $5 Cafe Flo: The Running Jumps, and The Undecided by Default. 7- lOpm Cafe Coda: Clouds on Strings, Human Ottoman, and Snake Farmers.
FARMER'S MARKET SPECIALI
All ages. $5. 8pm Lost On Main: Wake of the Dead. $5. 9pm
11 SUNDAY Crazy Horse Saloon: Sunday Funday comedy and popcorn. Nick's Night Club: Karaoke. 8pmMidnight. 21+ Maltese: Bogg! 4-7pm LaSalle's: Karaoke. 9pm El Rey Theater: Shortz Film Fest! Internation, national and local short films. lpm-8pm.18+. $10. Sierra Nevada Big Room: Two of the world's premier guitarists, Frank Vignola & Vinny Raniolo. 7:30-9:30. $20
. far··1
..·~;~~:~~~:;~~-- Brmg ·m -llils-·caiifioii
$1 OFF Pops-size Piel Hours: Mon-Wed & Friday 11am-8pm @Spike's Bottle Shop 1270 East 1st Avenue 530.864.2760
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
· <r
: •
1020 MAIN STREET CHICO "••?) 530.3~5.2233 (G'*...AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
ts I
THE ARCHIVES Dillon Carroll dillon@synthesis.net
Why Fans of Game of Thrones are Really Fans of History Many of my friends, both men and women, read or watch the fantasy series Game of Thrones, and they all seem to really enjoy it. What makes me laugh is that many of these same people claim that they hate history. "History was my worst subject in school;' they always tell me. Yet this show they watch religiously is, in some ways, directly based on human history. Below is one example among a plethora of examples. In Game of Thrones, the Targaryen Kings once ruled over Westerns. The Mad King Aerys Targaryen was a poor ruler. Aerys' son, Rhaegar, raped Lyanna Stark, Ned Stark's sister/Robert Baratheon's future wife-after which Stark and Baratheon initiated a revolt, crushed Aerys, exiled the Targaryens, and placed Robert as King. This is the backdrop to which Game of Thrones begins. Human history is filled with similar episodes, but one period in Roman history is strikingly familiar. In Roman lore, there were seven kings of Rome before the Republic. Romulus, after whom Rome was named, was the first king of Rome. The last three were known as the Tarquin dynasty (which sounds similar to Targaryen). The last Tarquin King was Lucius Tarquinius, who had assassinated his adopted brother, Servilius Tullius, who had been the sixth king of Rome. Servilius Tullius had been a good king. He won victories against other Latin tribes, expanding Rome's borders. He instituted the first census of Rome, and created new social classes based on the data collected. He expanded the vote to include
16
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
plebeians who owned small plots of land. Lucius Tarquinius was a poor king, and everyone hated being ruled by him. He was ruthless, held power by fear, and created huge monuments to himself. His son, Sextus Tarquinius, was even worse. Sextus attended a dinner party held by the nobleman Lucius Junius Brutus. At the party, Sextus fell in love with a noblewoman named Lucretia and decided he must have her. Sextus raped Lucretia, who then confessed it to Lucius Junius Brutus and her husband Lucius Tarquinius Collatinus, before committing suicide in shame. Lucius Junius Brutus and Lucius Tarquinius Collatinus vowed revenge, and marched to Rome to lead a revolt. They found the plebeians of Rome ripe for a revolution, for they had been toiling on huge public-works projects simply to celebrate Lucius Tarquinius. The combined forces of Brutus and Collatinus defeated Lucius Tarquinius, and the Tarquin Kings were exiled from Rome. Rome vowed to never again be ruled by kings. A Republic was formed, ruled by the Senate and two consuls who would share power; Lucius Junius Brutus and Lucius Tarquinius Collatinus were named those first two consuls of Rome. So, Game of Thrones fan, you are a fan of history-you just didn't know it.
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
LIKE, LITERALLY Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net
Cuckoo's Rawling I felt pretty fancy the day I snagged the last copy of Cuckoo's Calling off the shelf at Barnes & Noble. The news had just broken about JK Rowling writing under the pseudonym Robert Galbraith, and I happened to be reading all about it as I walked through the doors-straight back to the Mystery New Release section-and snapped it up before anyone else could. That smug feeling of being in an exclusive group swelled as the online market price doubled over the course of the day. Demand had exploded far beyond what the publisher had planned for with this unknown firsttime-author. I overheard several customers asking for a copy and being put on an indefinite waiting list. "Losers;' I chuckled to myself. As the evening sunlight cast slanting shadows through my sparsely furnished living room, I carefully set aside the dust cover to preserve this obviously valuable future collectible, and gently opened the first page. Less than a paragraph in, I began to have a nagging suspicion that something wasn't what it appeared to be. There was something between the lines, something unsaid. The scene started to unfold: A famous supermodel had plunged to her death in an apparent suicide, an optimistic blonde at the crossroads of her life walked blithely into the unknown, and a lumbering private detective named Cormoran Strike is offered a brittle chance to pull his way up from rock bottom. The itching in my brain became more persistent, but I pushed on, filing the disquiet behind my other feelings: tired and hungry. Gradually the characters came into focus; perceptions and motivations crisscrossing like warp and weft. The social elite and the squalid, fashionistas and prostitutes; ultimately all were bound together. As the broader tapestry emerged from what had been a tangle of names and questions, the truth of it all
stared me right in the face. The trouble was, I had no hard evidence. There was only one way to be sure-to anticipate the twists and turns as I rushed forward to the end, trying desperately to reach the conclusion early enough that I could expose the truth before it could consume me. Just as deftly as the story had been woven, so it was unravelled at the end. While no alibi could hold water and no suspect could be dismissed, the personal stories became complete and fell to the sides one after the other. With each turn of the page, it appeared that my long-harbored theory would be unavoidably vindicated, and I steeled my resolve with a triumphant final push in the wee hours of the morning. And there it was at last, the ultimate twist, the hard and final fact. My heart sank. At no point in this entire book would it turn out anyone was Harry Potter. Oh shit. I meant to say, SPOILER ALERT: at no point in this entire book would it turn out anyone was Harry Potter. It would probably never be a crazy-valuable collectible that I could covet and save and someday retire on. Within a couple of weeks there were a hundred copies identical to mine stacked up at the bookstore, discounted 30-40% with the other bestsellers. Good book though, didn't guess the killer.
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
17
SCENE REPORT by Debra Cannon debra@lulus.com
"KING OF THE COURTS" BOCCE TOURNAMENT Bocce, you say? It used to be just old Italian men in wife-beaters rolling little balls. Meet the new bocce! It is one of the fastest growing sports in the U.S. , and it is taking over as the "in and hip thing to do" on many a day or night, right here in Chico. Given, California is the home of more residential bocce courts than other place in the world, but a lot of those are found at the homes of classy vintners in the Napa Valley. But in Chico, we not only have regular people with backyard courts, we also have two 90-foot, covered and lit, perfectly groomed regulation courts hidden away in an almond orchard at the edge of town.
On Saturday July 27th, twelve men and six women competed in a one-on-one tournament to determine who is the best darn bocce player around. We have had many tournaments before at the Estes Courts in addition to weekly league play, but these are always teams of two or four. This was the first time an official contest of a gladiator-style, player-on-player tournament has occurred. Everyone was super psyched to see who would take home the title of "King of the Court."
One wonderful thing about bocce is that anyone can play-any gender, any age. And you don't have to be super athletic to be a great player. Of course the more you play, the more you realize that it comes down to skill, strategy, and a bit of luck to get the points
I 1a
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
to win your round and advance in the competition.
Since this was doubleelimination, you had to lose twice to be out. Once out you get to relax, get out of the heat, and have another cocktail, to ruminate over your bad shot in style.
It took nine hours to get to the final four players. Games were played to 11 points or 25 minutes. Many of the games were tied when the buzzer sounded, and so they went to a final death throw. Every round along the way had some great shots, and all the players are to be congratulated for great games. The women were so pumped to see three of the original six make it to the semi-finals. Who would be Queen? Enough of this King stuff1 But, as it turned out it was a man's world afterall. Rick Bair, holding many past titles, took first place with his amazing, unbeatable long game. Congratulations, RB! And he won $500. Rosemary Febbo was a close second. She is taking her $100 and her bocce skills to Italy for a year. We will miss you, Mama Rose. The third place winner happened to be me--a person so bocce-obsessed that I spend my free time organizing the local league. I received my $50 entry fee back.
Thanks go out to Kaelin Davis (4th place winner) and Denver Latimer for organizing this great day! But now we need to call it "Best Player in Chico."
Go to chicobocce.com for more information SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
by Danny Cohen
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
ON THE TOWN
That Feathery Feeling: "Birds of a Feather" MANAS ART SPACE My laundromat's adjacent, so I learned of the "pay to display" exhibit from one of a rotating cadre of eccentric hippie mamas, a la Dragnet 1969. This mostly 5th-grade Summer Camp brings the community together and subsidizes legitimate shows. I stumbled onto the opening, as proprietor "Dragonboy" was reciting surrealist gibberish about mango butter (in fishnet leotards and a halter top). Kids drew with salami-sized day-glo chalk. My hair and khaki Jack Hanna safari shirt were wet with 90-degree sweat, but I couldn't bail, as I had to chat up friends who were ignoring me. The good stuff was not for sale: A woolen Baboon head, a Wolsian abstract watercolor ("Songbird #3"), penciled caveman wiener-dogs on an ochre gauche gourd, a rusted spine with a head of mussels and hips of a Conquistador helmet. The more sophomoric fare commanded up to three C-notes. Toddler-esque flying pigs, Dadaesque glued paintbrushes and feathers, a vague red "Gumby" straddling a tank wheel, chicken-wire natty felt-ribbon cat face, plastic wedding cake figures atop coasters on sawed branches, a toupee face with a colander chin and fabric lady lips, boxes of faceless heads, camouflage shirt on matching stool with bullets and feathers, a driftwood face, faceless cats and stomachless coyotes, keyboards melting over rocks, and the aptly named "Audacity": a folk acrylic crow-headed nude, with centered figure, steeple and moon, framed by murky clouds.
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
19
ROUND ROBIN FICTION Round One, Part II by Katarra Shaw
The windy and restless night birthed a clear morning. But Sean was still walking, spurred onwards by the weight of the task ahead of him from TrainDoc's words the night before. "Someone there will need your help and someone else needs a hurt put on 'em ..." The burn of the wound on his back-mixed with sweat and the stinging agony-was the driving force behind his heavy legs. The old dirt road he had been walking on since dawn was dusty, and parched tan grass and weeds thirstily clung to the sides of the road. The bottom of the dirt track was mottled with crinkled pockmarks where rain had puddled and dried a lifetime ago. As hours of walking wore on, he knew that the revelation of TrainDoc's challenge was soon to come. The few notes of a faint melody caught his attention, as a welcome burst of fresh breeze made the leaves on the trees show their green underbellies. His gut clenched as he walked onward, suddenly reassured of his journey. A small curve in the road opened up into a shady cathedral of majestic oaks framing a disintegrating old mansion, its dignity now held together by two-by-fours nailed to the outside. Barely visible was an old painted address sign that matched the one on the scrap of paper. He had arrived. An algae-choked creek created a barrier to the fortress, and Sean was grateful to see a small bridge to ford the murky water. Surrounding the mansion was a dense, thorny briar of roses that had discovered their primeval heritage. And then he could hear it-a singular, clear voice of pure musical expression rose up from inside the thicket, closer to the old fortress.
I
a sense of peace that reached even the most wanderlusted traveler crept up his calves. The enclosed space felt like a haven, a lost paradise hailing from past splendor. Shady vines hung down like ballet dancers' arms in graceful waves as if in a secret dance, and enormous statues peeked out of the mess of vines and dead leaves like children playing hide-and-seek. As he walked closer to the dilapidated old house, a flash of ivory skin caught his eye, making him jump. His eyes on the skin, he realized it was a single white marble hand emerging from the thick green overgrowth. Nestled in the cupped stone palm was an arranged pattern of dry wildflowers and acorns. "An offering .. :' he murmured. The dusky timbre of the music meandered through the vines and caught Sean's attention once more, as the tune changed to a lament that made him pause. Suddenly, a faint crunch of dried leaves ahead tore his thoughts away from the hand. Momentary fear closed up his throat as a small white head appeared; his panic eased again as an albino goat stumbled out of the knotted thicket. Its head cocked to one side, the white ruminant evaluated Sean from a distance with bright red eyes that were alight with eerie intelligence. The goat creature turned away from Sean, squeezing into the foliage on the other side of the thorny passageway, but not before its lips curled up around its teeth in what could have been a smirk or a smile. And then it was gone-the small crunches of hooves breaking leaves, disappearing into the bush.
The hopeful melody cut through his daze as curiosity tugged at Sean. He spied a small path through the tall
Sean breathed a sigh of relief and continued on his way, closer to the music. No, it wasn't a human voice as he had previously thought, but some kind of instrument-although not played in a way he'd ever heard before. It was some kind of truth or story being told; he wasn't sure
green grass, and suddenly he was inside the enclosure framed by years of old undergrowth and thick, twining roots. The air was cooler from the embracing shade, and
which. The passage opened up into a clearing in front of the old mansion, where a tended garden enclosed by a mess of wire held court for abundant tomatoes and
20
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
cont. on page 21
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
jewel-like eggplants swinging from lush foliage. A young boy-sitting on an old barrel, playing a clarinet-was the source of this clear sound. The dark texture of the clarinet music wound together fittingly with the ardor of Sean's journey to this place, and the mystery posed by the sense of peace he felt in this lost garden. As he walked closer to the boy playing, a piercing feral roar came from inside the sagging building, shattering his sense of wonderment. Sean froze, unsure of himself and of what was to come. A high-pitched infant's squeal followed, releasing his inhibitions; as Sean raised his gaze to the clarinet boy, the youth motionedwith his clarinet still raised to his mouth-toward the open doorway into the dark building. As Sean crossed the threshold, the scene before him left him awestruck. A young woman kneeling on the floor, naked from the waist down, was clutching a wet, pink infant to her chest. Sean sunk to his knees a few feet from the mother; her eyes were alight with a shiny, animalistic wisdom as she regarded him levelly. In the space of a heartbeat she reached down on the floor between her legs and lifted up the meaty placenta covered in blood clots. She held it out in her hand-an offering, the only type of meat that isn't slain. Sean knew what this meant. He leaned forward, the scent of fresh meat beckoning him; he timidly sunk his front teeth into the warm, ferrous flesh and took his first bite. Sitting back on his haunches while chewing the placenta, his eyes locked with the new mother as he reached into his back pocket for the wrapped package that TrainDoc had given him.
WHY ARE YOU SMILING? Kenneth Kelly kenneth.kellyl2@gmail.com
Things Right With the Chico Comedy Scene Chico, by the time you read this I will be gone. Don't worry, I'm not killing myself. I've moved to Chicago to try my hand at the comedy scene there. Diligent readers may recall my last column, "Things Wrong with the Chico Comedy Scene;' and think that my move to the greener pastures of the Chicago comedy scene is about me saying that Chico is a sinking ship, and I'm pushing aside women and children to get off this thing before we all drown like cats. And that's true. There really isn't much more for me to do here, but that isn't to say there aren't good things about the comedy scene here in Chico still. For starters ... It Exists:
ADOPT ME! Stanley is an orange bundle of affection waiting for you to overcome his shy nature and make him your forever companion.
2579 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 ° (530) 343-7917 ° buttehumane.org
FACEBOOK.COM/CHICOCA • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
That might not seem like much, but think back to a few years ago when stand-up rarely-if ever-happened in Chico. Now, there's an open mic every week that gives comics a chance to hone their material in case they do go on to better comedy cities like Los Angeles, New York, Chicago, etc. Also, with Police Chief Kirk Trostle trying to bring about a new era of Prohibition, at the very least it gives Chicoans something to do.
The Regulars Keep Plugging Away:
This was something I just wasn't able to do in the last year. I just couldn't keep going to every single open mic and have the throng of Mug-Nighters talk over my set. I didn't want to "waste my time" writing new material just so it could be lost in the cacophony of an inattentive audience. Those other dudes thoughWill Craig, Mark Leathers, Phil from Chico, Steve Swim (to name a few)-just keep on doing it despite any shitty shows, and because of that they've been able to tour, do shows in Santa Cruz and Sacramento, and do shows at casinos. It's great to see stuff like that coming out of open mic nights. New Comics Keep Emerging:
There were 12 comics at the last Maltese open mic I went to, and there were even some being turned away. Comedy changed my life for the better, and I know it has positively affected the other guys as well. It's cool to see a new generation of comics rising, and I hope they find success with it. I expect good things from you, Chico. Don't disappoint me, and don't disappoint yourselves.
It's a Great Stepping Stone:
Without the ability to do stand-up, sketch, and improv here in Chico, I'd either be pissing myself at the thought of going to Chicago or I'd just be staying put in Chico thinking about my proverbial rabbits while slow Death creeps up behind me and caps me right in the back of the head. Instead, I'm going out there with confidence because I've been able to practice and learn here in Chico. I feel like I've paid my dues playing Triple-A ball, and I'm ready to go up to the majors.
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
21
I
ARIES
GEMINI
LEO
LIBRA
SAGITTARIUS
AQUARIUS
Move with a sense of grace and purpose. Your family and domestic life are your priorities. Pay extra attention to your children. The new moon rules children, games, playfulness, and love affairs. Be a better team player. Pay attention to ways to create beauty in the workplace. The weekend is good for romance.
Stop fearing unknowns and do a little research. Other opinions and furthering knowledge can help to dispel ignorance and fear. Your communication skills just got better, and people respect what you have to say. Pay more attention to your local environment, peers, siblings, and neighbors. The new moon makes working with your hands more pleasurable.
The Leo vibe is super strong this week. You are all about bold moves and making the necessary changes. You are free to seek out a better plan for you and the people you love. You still need to deal with some old karma. The new moon in Leo supports new plans and bold expressions. Stay modest when it comes to personal spending. Do things that support good health.
Your social life has been extra active these days. Partnership issues continue to seem unconventional or surprising. The new moon brings helpful friends, parties, and plans for the future. Give yourself some extra time to chat with friends and have a more relaxed existence. You may be paying a karmic debt of some sort for a sexual indiscretion.
Do something that will make you feel good about yoursel£ Life has become a more pleasurable adventure;
Leo is your compliment. The lion is opposite of you, yet like you in many ways. You both are strong-willed. You're both
opportunities for travel, education, and fresh experiences are at your call. The new moon rules a higher way of doing things, good fortune, and helping others as you help yourself. Be real about the debts you need to pay.
willing to do things to surprise or inspire others. You both have numerous friends and admirers. Love can get you when you least expect it. Your coolness is appreciated during the overly hot and passionate summertime.
TAURUS
CANCER
VIRGO
SCORPIO
CAPRICORN
PISCES
Love motivates you to occa sionally break out of your shell and seek a sense of sweetness. You could use a little more play as of now. You are gathering your tribe and the people you feel comfortable with. Like Aries, it's a good time to pay attention to your children. Be more creative. Love more often. The new moon helps you to appreciate your roots.
Sensual summer pleasures tempt you to try things that feel good. Monetary issues are worth looking into. Commit yourself to improving your diet. Share more good news with others. Allow your good fortune to bless your family as well. The new moon highlights voice, food values, and putting on a new face.
Keep your plans simple. Pray for your enemies. Wish good upon those who might conspire against you. Help others that feel isolated or persecuted Your gift is grace and to do healing work. Perhaps its time to rub your friends' feet rather than to criticize their lack of fashion sense. The new moon rules karma, secrets, pleasures of the bed, and spiritual activity. Lay low and do good
It's all about work and career for you this week. Hone in on your talents and skills, and show them off in the light of day. You'll need to do a little
Death and change are the only things that are certain. You may look better in a bathing suit than you did a couple of months ago. It may be time to get your "sexy look'' on. You can do it with class like no one else can. The new moon rules debt, changes that are out of your control, and your intuitive sense of other people. Ask for help when needed.
When it comes to love, you are doing great these days. Your workload might be super high as other people are in need of your services. Artistically, you need to plan on this being a year of expansion. Be sure to get enough sleep and to pace yourself. The new moon rules health issues, charitable causes, getting organized, and giving service to others.
more selling of yourself. This could be quite the adventure for you. The new moon rules career, the public eye, and the talents and skills you got from your mother's side of the family.
Koz McKev is on You Tube, on cable 11 BCTV. is heard on 90.lFM KZFR Chico, and also available by appointment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net
FE I
S ERUIOE.8S Fr ee Local Pick U p and DellvE!ry - :S-tatawide Servi.::e oney Ba.c k Gua.r.am:ee
~nu ..
S
s
HVOU
He'W'/.ea ~ik~rd - ~BM - Canon P:lnasonlc - Okkfta - Epson J\ippfe - Xerox - NEC - 8rotfie1" QMS - And Mai!l)I M.ot"@n -
I
22
AUGUST 5 - AUGUST 11, 2013
M'o n~i3ll
- Frilda:!il ('530J89'3-4253
11 3
• .a.1 Ave. S.l!liM C
"ilioll f tte 'll-80tl-6-3 Z'-'9£19 ~-
SYNTH ESISWE EK LY.COM
IT BOGGLES THE MINO t GflATIFIES THE SENSES
SEAR. SUR.GER. ANP FfllES ONLY $af. ~~I
\\,,
MADl~ON(;)
BEAR
GARDEN .
•
0
0
..::.:: 0 0
.c cu
u
....."' c
.,.0
ave
You
:J
cu
..::.::
路-....
~
.. DRAFTmu um[E rn~rn
~ee sorr f)fZ/tJ/tS ~O/Z Ai,/, PA/Zl/CIPAtJrs