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THURSDAY, September 19, 9pm Black Fong & Biggs Roller
TH URS DAY, September 26, 9pm Mark Sexton Band w/ special guests Sofa King
FRIDAY, September 27, 8pm The Chico Independent Film Festival Benefit Show
FRIDAY, September 20, 9pm The Bumptet & Fred Zeppelin
SATURDAY, October 12, 9pm
Sean Lehe, Sam Phelps, Barry Eldridge, & Jonathan Stoyanoff
SATURDAY, September 21, 9pm Free Dance Party DJ AZ Redsmoke. No Cover Charge!
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PALEO KITCHEN STORIES: SARAH FRAGOSO Pull up a whisk and check out our interview with Paleo Guru Sarah Fragoso! She also tells us all about her new book, Everyday Paleo Around the World: Italian Cuisine. No mammals were hunted nor gathered in the making of this interview.
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Bask in the tantalizing glory of the ultimate in artsy fartsy, the pinnacle of perversity, right from the comfort of your own sofa! Check out these gorgeous photos from Burning Man 2013, they'll make you want to leave your sofa and go to the next one.
We' re swapping one of our bands for a band in Fort Collins, CO. What happens if we accidentally break their band? Do we have to buy it? Sally Schmaltz, entertainment correspondent to the flyover states, finds out if there are any strings attached and if there are other things they'd like to swap, heeeyyyyO.
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I'm a good speller! I swear. In elementary school they used to call me Sara "Words" Calvosa, and I never went down in a spelling bee evernot for onomatopoeia, not for rhythm, not for Czechoslovakia. I was the house champion; nobody came into my house and out-spelled me. Imagine my disappointment when I found out that I misspelled Dylan Tellesen's name last week. I wasn't happy. I thought about yelling at Amy or Kathy, but the fact was it wasn't their fault. It was my fault. I got taken down because I was too busy making sure there were berets photoshopped on Twisted Colon's heads to fact-check. My journalisms were a fail. Fortunately Dylan barely even noticed, and come to find out he kinda likes it when people spell his name wrong. It's weird. I'm super excited about this issue because I've been bandwagoning hard on the Paleo Diet and I got to be a huge fangirl while hanging out with Sarah Fragoso in my kitchen! Squeee! We made pudding! Technically it was panna cotta, and it was delicious and Sarah is rad. You know how in Mario Bros. when you're running along and you jump and hit a block and a flower grows out of it and you get on the block and run over the flower and suddenly you can throw fireballs and run really fast? That's how it feels to hang out with Sarah Fragoso. And here's a fun fact: I joke about "the dinosaur diet" but in fact, very few dinosaurs were omnivores. The more you know ... On a sad note folks, our beloved food columnist, Jen Cartier is growing up and moving out of the basement. She up and moved to the Bay Area this summer, but to us she'll always be Jenny from the Block (of cheese! Get it? She likes food and cheese is food. And also things are about to get cheesy up in here.) We'll miss her sassy reflections on life, love, and food, and the authenticity of what's in her heart coming through our pages every week. We wish her all the happys on this next chapter and drink to her health. Things I miss about Jen : She's a swell dancer-check out her moves on the Synthesis Facebook page. She's a snazzy dresser. She bakes excellent gluten-free brownies. She's funny. She's cute. We're down one attractive female now because Jaime O'Neill does not look good in a skirt. She's real. Having a conversation with Jen is an authentic look into your own soul. She hears you, sees you, loves you, and laughs with you. I'll miss her to pieces.
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Sara moves on from the Paleo Diet
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The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author
and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.
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"The California mines had now moved into the big-business stage. Men could be found to fight, not for their individual rights or desires but in groups at the behest of moneyed interests. That was what it came to. The mining country had at last become integrated with the wholly civilized world, in which masses of men may always be persuaded to fight others in a matter which has nothing to do with the personal well-being of any of them." -Joseph Henry Jackson, Anybody's Gold
I'm seriously worn out right now, and for once not from over-indulgence in strong drink. We've got a new member of the family out here now-a puppy we suspect is a cross between a black Lab and some sort of Terrier. We call him a "Terroror" and his name is Archibald Ferguson Lach Ian, "Archie" for short. He's a really good little guy; he's cute and charming, but he does not let me sleep as much as I would prefer. Oddly enough, Archie gets along fine with both cats, and Kiki the dog. Only Bill is stand-offish, and the pup learned quickly enough to steer a wide course around the old gray-beard or risk getting a mouthful of teeth.
Meanwhile In Syria I am kind of happy with the apparent indecisiveness of the Obama administration and the opening it has left for a more peaceable resolution to the internal conflict within Syria-a conflict that had been creeping closer and closer to an international boondoggle. For a week there it was looking like war involving the U.S. was imminent. There's still plenty of opportunity for things to get screwed, but for now I think a lot of people are breathing a tentative sigh of relief.
Media Blitz I feel like the media has been doing us all a disservice lately. It is a two -pronged attack. There is one arm of the media that is frantically trying to break news storiesto be first to press, and facts be damned.
Another conglomerate exists whose entire focus seems to be twisting and distorting snippets of information into the most heart-palpitating, panic-inducing paranoia their writers can conjure up. The result is yellow journalism that swings from irresponsible and misinformed, to sinister and cynical propaganda. None of it is meant to make us better citizens; it has all been fabricated with the sole intention of boosting views and generating ad revenue. And we suffer. We suffer from being misinformed, and we suffer from being constantly exposed to stressors and fears that we have absolutely no control over.
Retreat! I harvested sweet potatoes and chufa yesterday. The sweet potatoes are immature. I should have let them go longer. I only pulled one of maybe three or four plants though, and it produced a number of fingerlings that made for a delicious little stir fry. The chufa looks about right. It is an attractive, wide -bladed grass that generates pea -sized, edible kernels amongst its roots. Colloquially it is known as a "ground almond." Trish and I munched a few fresh out of the ground. "Fibrous," Trish said, and that's a pretty good description. •
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Once upon a time, in my little girl brain, I thought that driving a pink car and living in a pink house was all you needed to be happy. Of course, having your own "Ken" with great abs and underwear you couldn ' t remove was also important. Chastity.
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Kelly-now, Kelly could reproduce. Barbie, on the other hand, was an independent woman who didn' t want to get tied down with all that business. She had her convertible, her sexy hips, and her man ... who couldn't take his pants off. (Is that some kind of metaphor for feminist emasculation?) Or maybe Ken was gay. He did really, really, like tennis, and his hair was perfectly combed and he was always well dressed. That's it. Ken was Barbie's best gayboyfriend, which does, pretty much, make a pink world the best place ever to live. I would like that for myself, actually.
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But the thing is, I was always kinda Kelly too. I wanted babies. I wanted the kind of man who would sign up for taking his pants off, and I wanted my house to have things like little tiny step-stools and high-chairs; things that allowed the next generation some equality with the older folks. I wanted to teach little human beings how to become incredible, big human beings. I wanted to cook them dinner, teach them songs, and celebrate holidays. But I did not, under any circumstances, want to give up my gay-boyfriend OR my pink convertible. I wanted it all. Moving away from Chico was sad, but holy shit did it save my liver. I had a fantastic season of achieving goals, but what I didn't have was much connection with the other part of me-the more tender and maternal one. I have traded my convertible life for a logical and stylish coupe life-one that's more Jetta than Mustang. And although I never drove a damned Mustang (because, who would want to?) I was living pretty selfishly, totally focused on my goals.
still have them, they 've just evolved ... mellowed out a bit. I don't want pink or plastic. I want real. I want ME back, my family back, my steady head and good -natured personality back. I'm done draining the bank. So, my friends, it's with the kind of sadness that makes your chest tingle a little (because you know something must be done even though the idea of it isn't your favorite) that I write this "Farewell Synthesis" letter. Synthie, I have loved you. Thanks for letting me put my dumb ideas on paper every week, and thanks, even more than that, to all of you for reading the things that came out of my self- important brain. You can keep up with me on my blog, or find me a couple times a year at Duffy's, or be my friend on Facebook, or write me off as a dumb bitch. But basically, I'm goinggoing back- back to Jenny-Jenny. And it's a good thing. Mwah. •
It's time to set that all down for a while, take Ken's pants off, and slow my roll. I'm cutting things out and making room for inspiration. Goals? Well, of course I
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SEPTEMBER 16 - SEPTEMBER 22, 2013
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COMICAL RUMINATIONS BY ZOO EY MA E - ZOOEYMAE@SYNTHESISNET
DEATH TO NAG CHAMPA
Can I just say (I know that maybe in saying this, I'm speaking against the consensus of my demographic) that I really detest weed culture? The appropriation of other cultures, especially if they're somehow the polar opposite of our own, isn't a new fad. Fashion labels have been playing this game for decades. In any case, the combination of Rastafarian colors, Bob Marley, black-light posters, incense that makes my eyes water, and little marijuana leaves decorating everything is so exhausting to me. I wonder if there's any point at which places like The Dungeon will no longer be something that exists in its current form. Probably not, so long as marijuana is illegal on a federal level and teenage rebellion still gravitates toward hookahs and giant posters of Janis Joplin naked in the forest. If however, you are going to smoke some gerb (doobie, ganja, etc.), consider treating yourself and making it a special occasion. The Shine brand has recently released a new product : 24K gold rolling papers. They'll set you back about $55 for a pack of twelve, but think how wiggity-wack-ass cool you'll look smoking a jay that's blangin' with real gold. If you think paying that much for rolling papers (whether they're made of gold or not) is stupid, then try smoking some more weed, and then consider it again. If that still doesn't work, then just head on down to Collier's, pick up some gold spray paint, and coat your regular Zig Zags for the same effect. Smoking anything
is hazardous to your health, but at least if your blunts are coated in spray paint you get the added bonus of feeling lightheaded. Wheee! No heavy head to carry! Now I know I've deviated a bit in the last few years from my original column topic of comic/graphic novel reviews, but if you miss that old mess, good news ahead! Now let's talk about comics-one in particular, really. Saga is the newest project from writer Brian K. Vaughan (Y The Last Man, Ex Machina) and illustrator Fiona Staples. A science-fiction fantasy, it's been compared to Star Wars by a number of knowledgeable columnists, including Rob Bricken of i09. The essential plot is that there's a war between two planets (Landfall and Wreath). After using up the resources and waging a long and bloody war with each other, the planets begin outsourcing the fighting to other planets. The story follows two lovers, who (naturally) are from opposing planets. Beginning at the birth of their child, the storyline focuses on them. It would be difficult to choose just one favorite bit of this series. A creepy "lying cat" who hisses the word "lying" at any whiff of attempted misrepresentation? How about a Prince Robot with a monitor for a head? The characters are imaginative, the storyline is interesting and compelling, and although I've only read the first volume of the trade paperback, this is in my top three of 2013. Available at your Ior.al comicslingin' shop. •
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Double Slides
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2 Story kids 'Play House · Climbing Structures · Fun Caribbean Design & Colors · Monkey Bars, Swing ~ 1 Bars · Cargo Met Climbing ~~~ Tunnels · Basketball Court ~ Double Slides · and MORE!
SEPTEMBER 16 - SE PTEMBER 22, 2013
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SARA~
~RAGOSO=
VELOCIRAPTOR BY SARA CALVOSA You've no doubt heard about the ancestral diet, the paleolithic diet, the hunter-gatherer diet-but it's not just a diet, it's a philosophy. I sat down with Sarah Fragoso and her brother Mark to talk about her new book and about going paleo, and eventually we made some pudding. Check out our video on the Synthesis Facebook page to watch us make some delectable panna cotta from her new book, Paleo Around the World: Italian Cuisine.
Now, we've been doing this for almost 30 days and we feel pretty good. Matt felt great right away-he was kicking up his heels like he never felt better-but I wanted to crawl in a hole and die for the first five days. Yeah, the same thing happened to me; I did too. It depends on how far gone you are . I was wrecked. I used to cry into my empty cereal bowl at night because I loved to eat cereal at night. I thought, "This is so awful and I want to die!" The only reason I stuck with it was because I was challenged by Robb and Nicki Wolf. I had to prove to them that I could do it. And it was awful and hard, but you know what? When I woke up I felt great. It'll be six years in February that I've been eating this way, or living this way, whatever you want to call it. So I'm super late to the party. No! Not at all! We don't know until we know. You know?
I was having a lot of problems with my stomach, anxiety, insomnia ... like a never-ending list of ailments. I've heard your story so many times. Your story is the reason that I keep doing what I'm doing. So much of what I do is for that reason. It's astounding to me, the difference that a few little food choices can make. When I eat something that doesn't agree with me, I remember feeling that way all the time, and never want to go back . There's the mental clarity that comes along with it too, and understanding how food relates to your body. Food is our fuel-what's happened between when food was our fuel to now, when you go to the supermarket and it's just all this STUFF? It's just stuff, it's not even food anymore. What's really cool about Paleo, is that it's like the world's best elimination diet. You discovered that you can't really eat eggs, and someday you may be able to eat eggs again when your gut has healed. I can eat a little cheese now and then and I'm ok, but I can never, ever eat gluten. I understand what it does to my body and I feel awful, I get bloated, digestive stuff happens overnight, I get anxiety,
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SEPTEMBER 16 - SEPTEMBER 22, 2013
depression; it's not even worth it to me. So most of the time I eat really clean, but every once in a while I'll decide that I want some nachos. But it happens far less than people would imagine because you love to feel good once you actually start feeling well. It's pretty amazing. Feeling good is addictive, especially when you've felt lousy for so long. I think people live with it for so long because it's normal to feel lousy. It's more abnormal for somebody to be like, "I feel great! All the time!" Usually we sit down with somebody and they have migraines, or digestive issues, joint pain, inflammation, or eczema; everybody has something wrong with them. It's abnormal to be healthythese days especially. Skepticism! People say it's like Atkins, and he died of a heart attack! Paleo people ate bugs not cows! My approach to people who like to take a negative point of view to what I do, is I just let them know that I feel better when I eat this way. Because you can't argue with that. Someone can't say, "but grains are GOOD FOR YOU." Well that's great that they work for you, but this is what works for me. You don't have to argue science or politics or fads or trends; no one can argue with how you feel because no one knows how you feel except for you . I look better now than I ever have in my entire life and people say, "you look great, so why don't you just eat bread every now and then ." It's because [when I eat bread] I don't feel good. You can argue scientifically that breads contain grains, and grains contain lectins, and lectins are damaging to the gut lining, and then somebody will come back and argue with that; there can be all these back-and-forth arguments. But it's so much easier to respond to people who are negative to your approach to just say, "I feel better eating this way." I feel like I'm such an oddball now, like people say, "look there's that paleo mom lady, she's like a velociraptor. Hide your small animals, she'll spear them or something." But when you feel like this, it's so great-it's so worth it, you don't even care . Breakfast has been hard without eggs. I've been mixing Beber Almond Milk with chia seeds to make a pudding with some berries on top, but I feel like that's probably not the best breakfast. We read that the natural protection for the seeds or the nuts can be poisonous. Well it can cause some inflammation, especially for people who are already inflamed . So with nuts, I kinda treat them like a t reat . I use them more as a condiment, rather than
snacking on them all day. If you prepare them correctly, they kinda get rid of some of the bad phytates . But you have to soak them overnight, sometimes longer, and then roast them . But if you sit down and dust a whole bag of nuts, that's not really natural-not how we'd normally eat nuts. We'd have to find them, pick them, shell them ... we'd have a small little handful by the time we were done. Take almond flour-it takes a lot of nuts to make almond flour. Like if you're making a muffin, you're making this highly-condensed palatable food that looks a lot like what we used to eat when we weren't paleo. So I try to treat nuts like a treat. If I weren't eating eggs [for breakfast], I would eat leftovers from dinner. You have to look at breakfast a different way. You're going to have to learn to like leftovers.
{I made a face to express my extreme dislike of leftovers.) You have to like them . You can reconstitute them to make them look like something else maybe? [laughing] Honestly, if I'm not eating eggs I'd make a sausage hash with some really good sausage, shredded zucchini, sweet potatoes, and onions . Or sausage, peaches, avocado . Keep it super simple. Mark breaks in: You can stuff some avocado with some chicken salad or tuna salad, to make it a little more breakfast-y.
{Mark really only chimes in with amazing food ideas.) Economically it can be challenging to eat free-range grassfed organic foods. What would your advice be to people who can't really afford to eat that way?
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Yeah, it's unfortunate but it's a real challenge. It's been the topic of more than one discussion at health symposiums and conferences. How do you feed the world paleo when the cheapest way to feed people is by feeding them grains? How do we make the switch? We're kind of seeing a natural shift anyway, because it's not sustainable to continue stripping our forests for grain production. But say you're on food stamps, and you want to make a change, you want to eat paleo-it's amazing how you can use your food stamps at the farmer's market at nearly all the stalls now. It takes a shift in your perspective. Where else can I cut back to eat healthier foods? And think of it this way : it's also a health insurance policy. In my opinion, yes grass-fed local is best, but I would so much rather somebody find the best cut of meat that they can afford than eat macaroni and cheese and white bread and baloney. You can go to Food Maxx and get a shopping cart full of vegetables for $20. Don't get a latte, don't go through the drive-thru, don't go out to eat.
And so we can't stop-we've messed with our natural physiological response to food by creating food that's not even food. We need to break that addiction and understand that we all know we can sit down and eat a giant plate of trench fries and way more cookies than we're supposed to and dust an entire pizza, but when was the last time you ate way too much steak, and way too much broccoli? You don't; you stop at some point, you're full and your body understands it's time to stop. That's true, nobody's ever laid out on the couch from too much broccoli. But we've all eaten way too much ice cream and pizza ; we've all been there. None of us have ever lost our cool over a pork loin, you know what I mean? I'm at my most vulnerable at night when I'm up late working and everybody's asleep. I hear my night-cheese calling from the fridge. What can I eat instead?
But bodies love bad food, it's so delicious!
I have a remedy for that : go to bed on time.
We have a dopamine response to food. If you look at it from an evolutionary or paleolithic aspect ... I don't even really like to call it paleo because it's such a trend now and I obviously don't live like a cavewoman.
Doh.
However, if you look at our physiological makeup, when we didn't have everything that we wanted, then we'd have to rely on what we could find. If we came across some blueberries, we would eat them and they would taste sweet, and we would know that they were a nutrientdense source of food. So we'd eat as much of them as we could because we probably wouldn't run into them again for several months. So we gorge ourselves on blueberries, move on, kill an elk, eat as much of it as we possibly could, move on, maybe find some honey. But what we've done now is, we've extracted flavor from these foods and made these highly-palatable food sources. So when we eat something like a donut or a pizza-something where the flavor profile is super intense-our response is, "this is really nutritious; we'd better eat more of it or we'll starve."
It's so hard but it's a big part of your health. You can't just eat right to be healthy. Sleep, managing stress, fitness, and food. Those are the four keys to health. It's hard because we live in this crazy fast-paced world. Longevity means taking care of yourself, from every aspect. When you're not sleeping, your body thinks you're going on a long hunt or something and acts like you need more calories. So, what's the first step? If somebody doesn't feel well and they want to make a change, where do they begin? It totally depends on the person. There are some people who want to jump in with two feet and be like, ''I'm taking [out] all grains, dairy, legumes, soy, processed vegetable oils-I'm gonna do it all right now, starting tomorrow." There are some people who know that they're going to fail if they do that, so for those people I recommend starting with one thing. Start with breakfast-change your breakfast. Eat a paleo breakfast for a week or two. And then move on to lunch, and then move on to dinner. Sometimes it helps when people just eliminate one food group. One month take out grains. The next month conquer grains and dairy, and the following month take out sugar. If you don't eat strictly paleo for 30 days you're not going to know what it feels like to feel good, because you're still going to be a little bit inflamed; you're still going to be struggling with some sugar addiction, some carb addiction. If you finally get to the point where you're totally paleo, you've got to do it for 30 days before you start adding things back in. Because you won't know what it feels like to feel good. My approach is, however you get there, you need to really try it for at least 30 days. Maybe 60. You'll start to feel noticeable differences-digestion will be better, or migraines will be gone, or eczema is cleared up, or your insomnia will be gone. There are lists and lists of stuff that improve. You just gotta suck it up and do it.
via Pedro Lourenco on Tumblr
That's why I've written the books that I've written. Everyday Paleo is like a guidebook; it tells you how to get started. Everything is laid out for people because it's overwhelming at first. Tell me about the new book already-are you Italian? Cuz I'm Italian and I admit that I was skeptical. Nope, not even a lick. It's been a culmination of things; I wanted to travel and learn about other lifestyles, other cultures. European cultures are so much closer to a healthier lifestyle than we are; they rest, they take things a lot easier than we do, their work hours are more sane, they take better care of their mothers, their children. There's an Italian-food restaurant in every state in America. It's a huge part of our own culture here. So it felt like it was a great way to kick off the series. Learning how Italian people approach their food has been so enlightening and cool and amazing. The trip was unreal. We tried to go to places that weren't super touristy, and [went] to work with farmers and Michelin-star chefs. Italians eat foods that are really fresh and close to the source, and not giant plates of pasta with every meal or slabs and slabs of bread. You don't see problems like celiac's disease in smaller places, but in the big cities, gluten-free stores are everywhere. So when I was discussing the style of cooking that I was doing, they totally got it right away; it was pretty cool. I felt like we had that really authentic experience, and when we got back home we could be really true to the regions that we went to. It was an amazing journey. I learned so much about food and people. And then we just came back from Thailand so, the second book will be Thai cuisine. So what's your secret snack? What's your night-cheese? You're going to hate my answer. I don't eat at night. Sorry. Mark to the rescue: What about salami with bruschetta, plantain chips, slices of cucumber, put a little salt on it, eat it with the bruschetta or salsa? Green olives, black olives, pickles, artichoke hearts ... if you have a glass of wine, hey; work it off the next day and get things in balance. Snack time is the hardest for me at night so just, you know, make healthy choices at the store that can still be really tasty, and have that salty or crunchy or sweet flavor. If you're not eating a ton of it and you're exercising the next day and leading a balanced life, it's ok. Maybe don't drink the whole bottle of wine; maybe have a sparkling water. You'll still be able to help that craving. You also gotta have the No-Potato salad. It's better than potato salad and I'm not just saying that. Little things like those satisfy those cravings. And figuring out how to make homemade mayonnaise changed my world.
For more ideas, check out everydaypaleo.com. Be sure to make Brother Mark's badass paleo tamales. And pick up Sarah's new book, Paleo Around the World: Italian Cuisine. Also be sure to check out the video of Sarah cooking in my kitchen! She wrecked my honey. It's what she does.
It really helps to have a plan, and it helps to have support.
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MODERRTOR: Anita Rivas CSU Protessor/Anornev
Presented bV •
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 SIERRA NEVADA BIG ROOM, 7PM
Refreshments and Appetizers will be served. All ages are welcome 8ruri£tl aroMtic rerformance by 'BaruiMuatt artiM 7he 'l...incLJeJJ 1J'13rien 13and (from Colorado)@ 6:00run For more details, visit: http://www.spokesbuzz.org/bandswap https://www.facebook.com/ChicoSOTAP
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SPONSORS:
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W:STAF
synthesis
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Smarter Home Improvement
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SEPTEMBER 9 - SEPTEMBER 15, 2013
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FOOD & DRINK CALENDAR Holiday Inn
MON
Mon-Fri happy hour
Daily Happy Hour
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
$6.50 Pull ed pork sand w/
11-2PM
from 4-7PM
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
$2.50 Dom & Sierra
PBR $2.2S Everyday!
$2 Kami Shooters
fries or salad 25 cent wings from halftime 'til they're gone! MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE
Nevada Drafts 3-6PM v$3.SO Dbl Wells 6PM -close
BEER $3/4/S/6 $1 SHOTS
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
Chicken Strip Sand only
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
11AM-2PM $2.50 SN &
PBR $2.2S Everyday !
$2 Kami Shooters
$6.50 b efore 6 PM DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm
1/2 OFF POOL
$1 Bee r $1 Wells
Dom Draft s 2-close $2.50 wells & Dom
Domestic Beer Combo 5-7pm Dollar Wings
FREE Pool after lOPM
Food & Drink specials!
5-9pm $4 Pizza Slice & Dom estic Bee r Combo $6 Bl ended Drinks 7- llpm $3 Coronas 7-llpm
$2 Doubles
Drafts $3.50 Dbl Wells &
GAME NIGHT!
Kami shots
$1 PBR all night
FREE Pool after lOPM
All ages u ntil lOPM WING WEDNESDAY! $2 for 3 Wings
WED
THI) SUNDAY. HPTEHBER 22
teams. Sign up with bartender. Starts 7PM. All ages until lOPM
$9 SN Pitcher
TUE FRI SAT SUN
Pool League, 3 player
$8 Dom Pitcher
2 DOLLAR TUESDAY!
THU
1/2 OFF POOL
5-9pm $8 Burgers and Beer 5-9m $4 Pizza Slice &
$2.50 SN Pint All Day 8PM-Close
Daily Happy Hour from4-7PM
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
Reuben Sand w/ fries or
5-9pm $4 Pizza Slice &
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
salad $6.SO
Domestic Beer Combo
Full Bar in Back Room
$2 Kami Shooters
Spm-Close 1/2 off kids
S-8pm $2 Well Drinks
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!
1/2 OFF POOL
items
Hump Day Wine Special
8pm-Close Pitcher
$3 House Wine $5 Smoking Loon
PBR $2.2S Everyday!
$3.50 Fireball, Jim Beam ,
8 Ball Tournament Sign-up
Specials $6/$9/$12
Captain Morgan and
6PM. Starts 7PM.
FREE Pool after lOPM
Jameson BUCK NIGHT
11-2PM $2.SO Dom
Baby Back Ribs $10.99
& Sierra Nevada Drafts
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
9-Close
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
Philly Cheesesteak $7.SO
$1 Well Cocktails
3-6PM
PBR $2.2S Everyday !
$2 Kami Shooters
$1 Teas
$3.50 Dbl Wells
1/2 OFF POOL
8-close $3 Soccer Moms
JAZZ NIGHT- Martini
$5 Smirnoff Blasters
Specials
$5 DBL Roaring Vodka
All ages until lOPM
5-9pm $4 Pizza Slice & Dom estic Beer Combo $2 off any appetizer
6pm-Close $4 Grad teas
S-9pm
$3 All bee r pints
$3 Sierra Neavada Pale & Old Chico 7-llpm
FREE Pool after lOPM
$5 Doubl e Wells 8-12am
$3 14oz Slushies
11-2PM
10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/
8-llpm $2 Domestic Beers
$2.50 Dom &
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
$4 20oz Slushies
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
Fries or Salad & Garlic
and $2 Wells
Add shot for $1
Sierra Nevada Drafts
Full Bar in Back Room
$2 Kami Shooters
Bread $8.99
20% off Entres 5-8pm
5 fllavors to choose from
3-6PM
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!
$4.SO Dbl Bacardi Ccktls
$3.50 Dbl Wells
PBR $2.2S Everyday!
9-Close
8-Close
BACARDI PROMO
$2.50 Dom & SN Drafts
8pm-Close $4 Jager 1/2 OFF POOL
$S DBL Vodka Red Bull
All ages until lOPM
$6 Jager Red Bull $2 Kamikaze shots FREE Pool after lOPM
$3 14oz Slushies
Open at llAM !
Daily Happy Hour
$4 20oz Slushies
from 4-7PM
Fri es & ga rlic bread
$S Double Wells
Add shot for $1
Bloody Mary Bar Noon-6PM
Bartend ers Choice
Baby Back Ribs w/Salad,
Full Bar in Back Room
$10.99
8-M idnight
5 fllavors to choose from
$8 Dom Pitcher
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!
9 Ball Tournam ent.
$4.SO Dbl Bacardi Ccktls
$9 SN Pitcher
PBR $2.2S Everyday !
Sign-up at noon . Starts
$4 Single/$6 Double
9-Close
8PM-Close
lPM.
Jack o r Capta in
BACARDI PROMO
$6.50 DBL calls All ages until lOPM
FREE Pool after lOPM
$4 Blasters
8pm-Close
$2 Sierra Nevada
$5 Bottles of Champagne
10AM-2PM
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
with entree
PBR $2.2S Everyday!
$4.50 Bloody Mary
FREE POOL
$S.19 Grad/Garden/
Dollar Wings 5-8pm
1 hr. with every $8
Turkey Burger w/fries
$7 Domestic Pitchers
purchase
or salad
$8 Sierra Nevada Pitchers
All ages until lOPM
$S.SO Absolut Peppar
Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call, $S Top, $6 Goose
Bloody Marys
Mimosas $2/flute, $S/pint $6 Beer Pitchers FREE Pool after lOPM
WEDNESDAY 9PM * FRIDAY 4-7PM
DANCE NIGHT * THE PUB SCOUTS DJ SPENNY & JEFF HOWSE
*
DURING HAPPY HOUR
COME ENJOY AN ICE COLD BEER
& ICE COLD AI. R CONDITIONING!
12
SEPTEMBER 16 - SEPTEMBER 22, 2013
SYNTHES I SWEE KLY. COM
Lounge V1pu1tra
Go Downlo
BEAR-E-OKE
OPEN MIC- MUSIC
OPEN MONDAYS
EVERY DAY
BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries
MUG NIGHT 7-11:30
NEW - BUY ONE GET ONE
Happy Hour-4-7pm $1.75 Pints, $1.00 Shots, 1/2 off
40oz beer $2.50 or $3 $3 Fireball Shot
HALF OFF FOOD MENU! 12-2PM
$1.00 Food items
or salad for $5.29. llam-lOpm.
$1 Kamikazes $3 Jameson and Skyy
Go Downlo
BEAR W EA R! 1/2 off w hil e wea ring Bear Wea r. MUG CLUB 4-lOPM
Spe cia l
all Single cocktai ls,
2 for 1 Burgers llam-8pm
KARAOKE 9-CLOSE $5 Dbl Bacard i & Coke $3 Goldschl age r $3 Bushmills
$3 Tea of t he Day and Bartender Speci al
Happy Hou r- 4-7pm Bu ck
night 9pm-la m
NE W - BUY ONE GET ONE HALF OFF FOOD MENU! 12-2PM
$2 Marqis $3 Cuervo Marqis $2.50 Corona's & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM $1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $1.SOwell s
CLOSED
Progress ive Night! 8-lOPM $1 Sierra Pal e Al e, Dom estics, Rolling Rock & we ll cockta ils up lOPM-close 25 C per ho ur-close
Mon-Sat fr ee poo l 6-SPM
$1 Cans of Bud/Bud Light $2 Well Cocktails
GoDownlo
TRIKE RACES! Post time @ lOpm. Win T-shirts and Bear Bucks. MUG CLUB 4-lOPM
SMASHED SPELLING BEE
$3 Tea of the Day
$4 Dbl Jack Daniels Honey
8-lOPM Two for the Price of one cocktails and menu items
Lemonade $3 Jose Cuervo Silver Sunrise $3 Glass of Wine
Happy Hour-4-7pm 1/2 off all cocktails, $1.75 Drafts, Guest bartenders every week
Buck Night 8-close $1 well cocktails, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Rolling Rockdom draft $3 Guiness Drafts, $2 Black Butte
Happy Hour 5-8PM $5 House Martinis $4 Glass of House Wine $3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle $1 off Call liquor and bottled beer
$5 Vodka Redbull $2.50 Pinnacle Cocktails $2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada
Drink specials!
BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burge r w ith fries
KARAOKE 9 PM
Half Off Rockstar Cocktails
$ 2 Sel ect Bee rs $ 3 Teas
or salad for $5.29. llam-lOpm.
$4 Dbl Gin & Tonic $2 Scotch & Soda $ 3 Barenjager
CLOSED FOR RENOVATIONS
Happy Hou r- 4-7pm
$ 3.50 151 party punch $3 Fire Eater Shots
Happy Hour S-8PM $5 Hou se Martinis
SO cent we ll drinks 9-lOpm $2 Kamis, $2 Fireball, $3 Cherry Blasters, $2 bottl e Beer lOpm-lam
$6.50 Apple Cinnamo n Cid er 8-9PM $1 pale ale and dom draft up 25C per ho ur until
$4 Glass of Ho use Wine $3 Well Cocktails 20% off w in e by bottle $1 off Call liq uor and bottl ed bee r
close $2.50 Fireball Shots $2.50 Pints of Sierra
Drink specials!
LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR
LGBTQ DANCE PARTY
Happy Hour- 4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-Spm Most
Nevada $5.50 Double Pinnacle Vodka & Red Bull $3 Double Well Cocktails
VIP Bottle Service available
ONLY $4.99! Mon-Sat lOpm - lam.
$5 Dbl Vodka Rockstar $3 Fireball $4 Dbl Coconut Press
food items and pitchers of beer are $5
Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9PM-Close $3 Pale Ale Drafts $9. 75 Pale Pitchers
Happy Hour 5-BPM $5 House Martinis $4 Glass of House Wine $3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle $1 off Call liquor and bottled beer
Half Off Rocksta r Cocktails
LATE NIGHT EATS! BE AR
$2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada $3 Featured Shot of th e Night
BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY $4.99! Mon-Sa t lOpm - lam.
HALF OFF EVERYTHING (Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors)
$$ Bartend er 's Choice $$
Call To Rent For Private Party Go Down Lo
BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.29. llam-lOpm.
Lounge
V1pu1tra
Nem! Wine, Cocktail and Food Menus!
LI V E DJ
Happy Hour- 4-7pm
Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM
Happy Hour 5-BPM
$4 Dbl Gin & Tonic $ 3 Cptn Morgan & Coke $3 Rumpleminz
Hot dog menu all day llam-8 pm, All Day and All Ni ght Tall ca ns of beer (24oz) $3.50, $2 Capri sun
$ 1 Do m draft, $2 SN draft, $ 1.50 we ll s, Powe r Hour 8-9PM
$5 House Martinis $4 Gl ass of House W ine $3 Well Cocktail s 20% off w in e by bottle
Sh ots, All Teas $3.50, Tea Party 9-llpm 32oz Teas are $2 .50
9-Close $3 Skyy Cocktail s & Pal e Al e Drafts $9.75 Pal e Pitch ers
$1 off Call liquor and bottl ed bee r
CLOSED
CLOSED
$2.50 Mimosas & Bloody
Happy Hour-4-7pm Champagne Brunch 930am-lpm, Every Nfi Game (20 Tv's), $3 Bloody
Marys $4 Dbl Cabin Fever (maple whiskey) & Coke
marys, $3 screwdrivers, $5 pitchers of beer
LIVE JAZZ4PM TRIVIA 8PM
1/ 2 off Liquor & Drafts
l!tffeJ'J House Made Martinis and Seasonal Fresh Drin ks!
JJePieinuJ Tapas Menu
'PfuJ New Late Night Menu
191 East Second St.• 530.898.9898
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
SEPTEMBER 16 - SEPTEMBER 22, 2013
13
BEST BETS FRESH PICKED ENTERTAINMENT FOR THIS WEEK TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 17TH
FRIDAY, SEPTEMBER 2QTH KEYSER SOZE
THROUGH THE ROOTS
BIG TREE FALL DOWN STRANGE HABITS BOSS 501
FORTUNATE YOUTH BAD NEIGHBORZ BELL MEMORIAL UNION
THURSDAY, SEPTEMBER 19TH
"'' llljtJfljA~~,路 .. IJI t:,Y n ? 1 W.-
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.
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8PM
$7
A UBREY DEBA UCHERY A ND THE BR O KEN BO NE S
COLD BLUE MOUNTAIN
CD RELEASE
MONSTRO'S
1078 GALLERY
Windhand blows into town and slaps us in the face with some "transcendental, monolithic doom,'' and the release of their new album, Soma. Joined by Amarok and Cold Blue Mountain. Don't get stuck in the sludge, you may freeze to death and the giant arctic wolves will eat you . All ages. $7. 8pm
Songstress and known bone-crusher Aubrey Debauchery may be small , but she packs a mighty sound . Celebrate the release of her crowdfunded new album, Death of a Dream, and help kick off her victory-lap tour. Opening up the show will be The Rugs and Birdy Fielder. All ages. $10. Doors 7:30, show8pm
ground Injuries. Advance tickets $12. 7:30pm
Lost On Main: Closing night for Mr.
Marmalade. All ages . $10. 6:30-8:20pm
CSU Chico Quad : Rare acoustic set by
Sierra Nevada Big Room: Paul Thorn
Cammie award winn er Big Mo. Free. 12pm
2013. $20. 7:30-9:30pm
17 TUESDAY 1078 Gallery: Clouds on Strings,
Pageant Dads, Heatwarmer. All ages. $5. 8pm
18 WEDNESDAY 1078 Gallery: Pregnant, Disco Church ,
Mi Ma. $5 . Doors at 7:30pm, show 8pm Senator Theatre: Boombox. $18 in
advance . Doors 7pm, Show 8pm
19 THURSDAY Blue Room Theatre: Gruesome Play-
SEPTEMBER 16 - SEPTEMBER 22, 2013
SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 21 5T
:~r?o~AND
16 MONDAY
14
Maybe you've been looking for a context in which skanking is not only acceptable, it's encouraged. If this sounds like you, you 're in luck: Cafe Coda will be bursting with ska bands, featuring Reno's Keyser Soze. Get pumped , it 's going to be high energy, and chock full of horns. All ages. $6. 8pm
_
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:....
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CAFE CODA
Vay! BMU shows are starting up again, kicking off the school year with some non-threatening white reggae. Feel free to wear your Bob Marley tie-dye and skip the deodorant, because Jah, I and I fiyah bun Babylon. Irie. 18+ only. $10-$20, depending on whether you're a student or not, and if you buy your tickets in advance. 7-10:30pm
Lake Concow Campground: Dragonfly
Earthdance Gathering of the Tribes. 9/19-22 . $20 Lost On Main: Black Fong & Biggs
Roller. 9pm Senator Theatre: lamsu w/Kool John, Jay Ant . $16 in advance. Doors 7:30pm, show8:30pm
Blue Room Theatre: Gruesome
Cafe Flo: High Beamz, featuring Chris
Playground Injuries. Advance tickets $12. 7:30pm
Zanardi , Mark Murphy and Derek
LaSalle's: Electric Saloon . Emvee, DMC, with DJ In-Time vs DJ Ripper on the patio. 9pm
Chico Women's Club: Ha' Penny Bridge,
Lost On Main: The Bumptet w/Fred
Zeppelin . 9pm
Bodkin. $7 . 8pm
Mossy Creek . 7pm Downtown Chico: Pastels on the Plaza.
9am-2pm
Monstro's: Dreadful Children, Junkyard Amy Lee, The Vesuvians, Badger. All ages. $5. 8pm
Sierra Nevada Big Room: Band swap!
The Tackle Box: Flat Busted . $3.
The Tackle Box: Josh Burdo. $2.
Cammie winner Big Mo, The Lindsey O' Brien Band, openerTBD. $20. 7pm
20 FRIDAY
21 SATURDAY
22 SUNDAY
Blue Room Theatre: Gruesome Play-
Senator Theatre: Krewella. $30-$64.
The Bear: Starving Artists networking
ground Injuries. Advance tickets $12.
Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm
party & music industry panel , acoustic set by the Lindsey O' Brien Band . 4-7pm
7:30pm
SYNTHES I SWEE KLY. COM
THINGS TO DO 16 M Q N DAy Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call at _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ 4pm to reserve a table . Starts 6:30pm The Bear: Bear-E-oke ! 9pm Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with the Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm
Downtown Chico: Thursday Night Market. 6-9pm The Graduate: Red Bull Movie Night. lOpm
18 WEDNESDAY Grana: Live Jazz with John Seid . 5:30-
DownLo: Pool League . 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm
lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open Mic. All ages. 7pm
Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOpm.
Last Call Lounge: Karaoke. 8pm-12am
The Bear: Trike Races. Post time lOpm.
Signups start at 6pm
Maltese: Open Mic Night. Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11 :30pm
Mug Club 4-lOpm
Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 9pm-lam
Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with the Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm, then Way Out West Country Showcase, featuring The Blue Merles. 7-9:30pm
The Hub: FAME Thursdays DJ Dancing. 9:30pm-1:30am. 21+. No cover.
Woodstock's: Spelling Bee for the Grownups. 6:30-7:30pm
17 TUESDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Intermediate Bellydance Class with BellySutra. $8. 6-7pm Cafe Flo: Open Mic Singer-Songwriter Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm Chico Women's Club: Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm . Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:308:30pm
Dex: Hip Hop Wednesday. $6. 8:30pm
Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-lam
DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups 6pm
The Tackle Box: DJ Thomas. 8pm-lam
Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am
Maltese: Karaoke . 9pm-Close Park Avenue Pub: Hanging by a String Band. 7-9pm Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke . 8:30pmlam The Tackle Box: Karaoke . 9pm
19 THU RS DAY The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm Cafe Flo: Blues Unplugged with Mark " Porkchop" Holder. 7-lOpm DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. Followed by Mark Sexton Trio. 8pm
Sultan's Bistro: Bellydance Performance . Two soloists featured . 6:30-7:30pm T-Bar: Live Music. 7-8:30pm
Panama's: Eclectic Nights. Buck night and DJ Eclectic on the patio. 9pm
Duffy's: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9pm. $1.
Quackers: Live DJ . 9pm
Tortilla Flats: Latin Nights. DJ El Kora de Chico.
Chico Women's Club: Afro Brazilian Dance with Baba Kahanus. 5:30-7pm
VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The Beach): Acoustic performance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm . No Cover.
of~oulhtn fltafu
Peeking Chinese Restaurant: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $3. 9:30pm
No cover. Featuring Mack Morris. Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close.
fJfrze 0ininu in lhe CTraJition
Maltese: Fabulous Friday LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm
LaSalle's: Live Music Happy Hour. 5-9pm.
Crazy Horse Saloon: Swing Dance Wednesday. 8-lOpm
Kalico Kitchen: Karaoke, with prizes! Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke . + 8-lOpm 21 Maltese: Smashed Spelling Bee . 9pm DownLo: DJ Dancing with DJ Ron Dare The Tackle Box: Swing Dance Wednesday, Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi classes 7-9pm and Friends. 6:30-8:30pm VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The Beach): Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-9pm. Laurie Dana. 7-9pm Salsa Dancing, 9-llpm Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy The Hub: Salsa Tuesdays. Intermediate Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. lesson 7:15-8:15pm, $8. Beginner lesson Starts at 8pm 8:15-9pm, $5. Open Dancing starts 9pm, $2. LaSalle's: '90s night. 21 +
8:30pm
Merengue, Cumbia and Bachata dance lessons followed by an open social dance.$2-$4. 8pm
21 SATURDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knitting Circle. 2-4pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm Cal Skate: Adults only skate night. $6. 18+.9-llpm
Woodstock's: Open Mic Night.
Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Danc-
20 FRIDAY
DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups
ing w/DJ Hot Rod . 10pm-1:30am
VISITING THE THURSDAY NIGHT MARKET? STOP BY FOR OUR
FARMER'S MARKET SPECIALI
noon, starts at lpm. Live music mith
lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Writing Group. 3:30-5pm
MazAzul. 9pm LaSalle's: 1980Now! 8pm
The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris. 9pmclose. $2, $10 VIP.
Maltese: Live DJ
The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm
Park Avenue Pub: Live Music with Max
Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. llam Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music showcase. 7-lOpm
Minardi. 6:30-9:30pm Quackers: Live DJ . 8:30pm-lam Scotty's Landing: Music Showcase. Open Mic hosted by Rich & Kendall. 5-9pm
Crazy Horse Saloon: DJ Hot Rod and Mechanical Bull Contest. 9pm-1:30am DownLo: Yz off pool. All ages until lOpm
22 SUNDAY
Duffy's: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour. 4-7pm
LaSalle's: Karaoke. 9pm
Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 9pm-lam
Maltese: Bogg! 4-7pm
The Hub: Chico Baile Latino : Salsa,
The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8pm
tlflll.
·-~~=~~:;~~--Brmg_m _nus--coiifioil" -far-·1
St OFF Pops-size Pie! Hours: Mon-Wed & Friday 11am-8pm @Spike's Bottle Shop 1270 East 1st Avenue 530.864.2760
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
- '
:
<Tm!t. <Italian. 1020 MAIN STREET CHICO "'•?) 530.3~5.2233 (G-r'
SEPTEMBER 16 - S EPTEMBER 22, 201 3
15
ON THE TOWN
WHY ARE YOU SMILING? PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
BY KENNETH KELLY - KENNETH KELLY12@GMAIL.COM
MY GIRLFRIEND'S BOYFRIEND I've had an unjustifiable aversion to storytelling. I can't really explain why I haven't given it a chance. Storytelling is like brussels sprouts. People keep telling me they're good and good for me, but I just don't want them on my plate. Give me pizza. This aversion is why I stopped following Mike Birbiglia. His slow transformation from stand-up to storytelling put me off. Finally, though, I watched My Girlfriend's Boyfriend, his new special on Netflix, and now regular stand -up comedy just seems like a joke. Stand-up has always been at least a little hokey and mechanical. What mediocre stand-up comedy eventually boils down to is "set-up, punch-line," which is the same formula as bar jokes and even knock-knock jokes. Good standup goes beyond that and adds political or social commentary, or tries to make the audience engage with life. However, goodnot-great stand-up still has the goal of getting laughs, and that takes precedence over everything. Sometimes the artistic merit of the performance is cheapened because of the need for laughs, or because the comedian is too afraid to be 100% honest. There's a tendency for comics to be false or contrived, even if they're not the type to run up to the stage wearing a spinning bow-tie to shout, "You ready to laugh?" That's an extreme example, but there's nothing more annoying to me than character comedians. It's just cheap entertainment. Aziz Ansari's "Randy" character might be amusing, but I'm not going to remember it or be affected by it. But really every comedian has a stage character, even if it's a small deviation from their real self. It's one of the reasons I just don't like a lot of comedians. Dane Cook is an obvious example. His on-stage persona is so apparent that it's like he's wearing a suit of armor. He hides behind his antics and overall loudness so that no one really realizes he's simply trying to entertain rather than engage.
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SEPTEMBER 16 - SEPTEMBER 22, 2013
In My Girlfriend's Boyfriend, Mike Birbiglia might have a thin veil of a character, but it's so hard to see. His performance is just so earnest and vulnerable. His goal isn't to get laughs. The special is admittedly not as funny as Jim Gaffigan's Mr. Universe, but it doesn't matter. The goal is to get the story out, which he does beautifully. What makes it work so well is that the performance isn't just storytelling and isn't just stand-up, but somewhere in -between, and blends a tangential narrative with basic stand-up stuff like observational comedy and audience work. It's not a perfect performance. Sometimes Birbiglia overreaches on the emotional affectation and his narrative anchors become somewhat predictable, but the story is so brilliantly told and honest that these flaws can be forgiven. My hope is that stand-up will take notes from storytelling and become something greater than what it already is-by becoming more connected, more honest, and more vulnerable. â&#x20AC;˘
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SPORTS BALL
PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
BY DAN O'BRIEN
ON THE TOWN
THE WEATHER REPORT The first week of the NFL season did not disappoint. There were a lot of unknowns going in, chief among those Chip Kelly's highoctane offense that may or may not have been more Wizard of Oz than a paragon of touchdown-scoring wonder. From the first moment Vick zipped a pass over the middle, we were witness to an offense that might turn out to be the one of the most compelling of the season. RGlll, he of the Washington Redskins savior moniker, looked rusty throughout the first half-not really looking like the frenetic dynamo that we had come to expect until the second half. The Raiders were the Raiders, failing to pull the trigger on a win against the Colts. Upside: Terrel le Pryor is not using a walker like a certain immobile quarterback who has retired to the desert. Downside: They are still the Raiders, and lost despite a fair-to-middling outing by a rookie quarterback. Tom Brady carried a faceless receiving core, complete with a broken Wes Welker clone. The Lions managed to top an overrated Vikings squad, though once more Suh stole the headlines with another fine that would make most bluecollar workers-especially those among their rabid and loyal fan base-cry out in horror. Talking about someone beating the Browns is akin to asking whether or not there will be an extra police presence during Halloween. Rex Ryan and the Jets were handed a win in one of many boneheaded plays from defenses around the league. Richard Sherman jawed at offensive players; Andy Reid and Alex Smith beat-up on the Jaguars. Jerry Jones' photos of hanging out with Hulk Hogan and LeBron James overshadowed an ugly win over the hapless Giants in the first of many nearly unwatchable divisional games in the NFC East.
might surprise a few folks; who knows, Chris Johnson might actually be a relevant running back once more. Jay Cutler didn't yell at his offensive line this time around, but be prepared for it once the Bears start dropping some games. Drew Brees and the Saints reminded us how dangerous they can be, embarrassing a Falcons team that were preseason Super Bowl favorites. You're probably wondering why I haven't mentioned the reigning Super Bowl champs, and a 49ers team that is looking for payback after the technologicallychallenged championship game a little more than six months ago. Peyton Manning turned in a record-breaking game (literally) and made fantasy owners around the country squeal with joy, if they were smart enough to start him on Week One. The Broncos put on a clinic, mopping up a decimated and rebuilding Ravens team that saw this as a statement game. The statement was simple: The Broncos are ridiculous, and Manning is on the fast track for another league MVP. Oh yeah, and the 49ers won. â&#x20AC;˘
Ben Roethlisberger endured an ugly game against a rejuvenated Titans team that
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SEPTEMBER 16 - SEPTEMBER 22, 2013
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ON THE TOWN
PHOTOS BY VINCE LANTHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
OFF MY LAWN! BY JAMIE O'NEILL - JAMIEANDKARENONEILL@GMAIL.COM
OBAMA, DIPLOMACY, AND EXPLAINING THE FACTS OF LIFE TO A KID WHILE ENGAGED IN THE ACT I'm retired, so I have more discretionary time to waste than working people do. For that reason, it seems like I have a responsibility to report back on stuff I see on television that other people don' t see as often. In the last few weeks, the cable news and bullshit channels have been pumping out volumes of opinion from talking heads, left and right, about how Obama has fucked up his handling of the Syria insanity. He's been called weak by the right, and a war-lover by the "morally pure" peaceniks on the left. A few minutes after he gave his speech to the nation last Tuesday, CNN's Piers Morgan was heard to say one of the most profoundly stupid things I've heard in a long time. "What if Putin is acting out of his own self interest?", he asked some "expert" or other. Well, duh? In the realm of international diplomacy, the first unshakeable premise is that everyone involved is acting out of their own self interest-trying to calm political waters back home, trying to appease assholes in foreign governments, struggling to keep allies with differing views and interests from withholding their support. The discussion of this thorny situation was so dumb, it seemed to me that the role Obama was in was rather like a guy engaged in making love to his wife while simultaneously trying to explain what he was doing to his six-year-old son. "Why are you hurting mommy?", the kid asks as the bedposts rattle against the wall. And then daddy, bound up in the act, tries to
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consummate what he's engaged in while explaining some very basic facts of life to the wide-eyed child-an act that is made exponentially more difficult because the kid is ... how shall I say... dim-witted. And the dimwittedness that came from the left was damn near as dopey as the usual right-wing stupidity. In fact, on TV and on the internet, in print and in images, the "progressives" began to sound much like their polar opposites, finding in Obama depths of perfidy and dishonesty and bloodthirsty incompetence of the kind often heard from right-wing assholes. Not to be outdone by the left in the stupidity sweepstakes, Rush Limbaugh started talking about Oba ma's efforts at a diplomatic end run around the necessity of air strikes as a "shuck and jive" campaign. The hideous Ann Coulter, trading insights with the dependably thick Sean Hannity, used the word " monkey" to describe Obama at least six times in a three-minute segment. She and Limbaugh both knew, of course, that they were seeding the fertile fields of racism when they chose those words. In serving up his predictably inflammatory schtick, Limbaugh performed one of his patented plump pirouettes, demonstrating his cleverness by contrasting Bush's obscene "Shock and Awe" bombing of Baghdad with what Rush sees as Oba ma's "shuck and jive" failure to exert bold and bloody action in Syria. Better in Blabbermouth-BlubberBoyLand to rush into things-heedless of
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consequences, indifferent to truth, and unconcerned about the people who will die-than to act like some shuckin' and jivin' street corner Negro who'd rather try to talk his way out of a fight than be a "decider," like his fearless true-blue American white boy predecessor. Obama, enslaved to his ethnic heritage, is just reenacting a scene from an ol' Stepin Fetchit movie, turning the commander-in-chief into a racist stereotype grown frightened, saying "feets, don't fail me now" as he makes the Unites States look chicken. That was what Limbaugh was basically saying, and for guys who think like six-year old boys, that's about as sophisticated as their foreign-policy-thinking ever gets. Rush-and anyone who hangs on his every radio word-tends to inhabit that same zone of arrested development. It's no wonder governments have to conduct so much vital business in secret. The people they govern are just too fucking dumb to know that negotiating calls for concessions, even with monsters-and that if you want to avoid war, you often have to play games of give-and-take, or not show all the cards you're playing, even to railbirds kibitizing about how badly you're playing the game. But it appears that the game Barack Obama has been forced to play is far too subtle for guys like Piers Morgan or women like Ann Coulter to understand. Kinda like that kid at the side of the bed, not quite able to fathom the fact that mommy has an interest in what daddy is doing.
ON THE TOWN
More than 20 million people live there, even after several million have fled the country, and a hundred thousand or so others have been killed. They are bitterly divided by religion, and they are ruled by a canny despot whom almost everyone knows is a bad guy. He has the support of Russia, in part because he's a chess piece in the ongoing strained game between Putin and Obama. Putin also must worry that a country so near his own, with lots of potentially dangerous Muslim fundamentalists, might fall into the hands of people who are, for him, far more scary than a pawn like Assad. So, short of blundering-in as George W. Bush did in Iraq, mindless of consequences, our current president has done that very rare thing: he's deliberated, he's negotiated, he's made phone calls, he's placated egos, all in an attempt to avoid blowing the shit out of more people in yet another display of reckless American belligerence. Meanwhile, back home, on TV and on Facebook, the left and the right merge to carp at him, all of them exuding smugness in the sureness that they would have handled it all much more adroitly, humanely, or courageously. And meanwhile, the little kid leaves the bedside and goes out to the sandbox to explain the complexity of sex to his little friends. â&#x20AC;˘
Syria is less than half the size of California.
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SEPTEMBER 16 - SEPTEMBER 22, 2013
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BANDS: WE SWAPPED THEM BY SALLY SCHMALTZ A few years ago Dan i Grant looked around her local music scene in Fort Coll ins, Colorado, and saw th rough the way things were done to the way they could be. Musicians face an uphill battle : struggling to move beyond performing for their friends, climbing the ranks of small to med ium to larger venues, and hitting the road where chasing dreams meets raw survival in the world of shady oral contracts. Many a band has fallen apart on the road, broken down by debt and misplaced trust. On top of that, find ing audiences in towns where they have no connections and no reputation is a dismal prospect, and often these self-propelled tours fail to expand their fan base. If only there were a better way; a system where a band that had proven themselves at home could cash in on the love of their own commun ity when playing to a far off audience. Th is idea was the seed of BandSwap. In its fledgling year, BandSwap was little more than a grassroots effort to pair Fort Collins bands with those from other cities and set up partnered shows in each band's hometown. Dani and her team reached out to venues and their contacts in each city involved, and just booked a bunch of shows. It was a concept w ith a lot of possibility, and a potential nightmare of logistics. All in all it turned out to be a success, but everyone agreed it needed some fine tun ing in order to grow. How has the project evolved this year? [After last year] Fort Collins was really gung-ho, but [they asked us to] do it better, which meant more money. Grassroots is great, but when you need to do some organization, you need some assistance. They challenged us to work with the city leaders, talk to the economic development directors of the cities and have them invest in the program, and my city matched every one of the cities that got involved with cash ... .it's grown dramatically, so for me it' s like year-one again! It's been great though, it changes the dynamic but it also brings more credibility to the bands involved when their cities are behind them in a more formalized way. We did a big strategic planning with the city of Fort Collins, and we listed probably 15-20 cities that we considered admirable, and that also shared characteristics with Fort Collins. Chico ended up on the short list because you're a college town, like we are; you guys have a great burgeoning music scene, and the bikes and the beer and the bands and all that stuff. There were a lot of matched characteristics and we thought it would be a good sister city. This is kind of a multi-level benefit thing .... [not just for the bands, but] bringing in the communities and the leadership of those communities to work further and create this network of secondary music cities that
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support each other and support local artists-and we can deconstruct that touring model that takes 15 years for a band to gather some fans. So, how are you doing? Great! Crunch time! Just trying to figure out where the holes are in the logistics. There's so many moving parts that I'm afraid some poor band member is going to be standing at the airport like "Heeeey ... " That's my biggest fear. Today we had a conference call with all the city leaders, and it was one of the most fulfilling moments because I got to see in action the cities talking to each other about the struggles they have with trying to do arts and culture programming for economic development and how we can support each other, ideas that we can share and how we can utilize this network in the future, and that was huge. The goal is to settle on about 10 cities that are behind this program and want to commit to it, it's going to take some time to grow it locally. [Representatives from] Chico have shown us some wonderful ways to grow this event, so we're pretty excited about Chico being involved.
on. Shawn had the foresight to bring in Build.com as one of the sponsors of Chico BandSwap, and the whole point of that is to start doing some entrepreneurial swapping with these secondary music markets. We can bring a Build.com to Fort Collins and Lafayette and all that through this program, and we can do that with other small businesses that want to be involved in the network too. Are there other things you want to swap, like MimeSwap or HoboSwap? I think there's a ton of potential to bring in other art forms! I think the core will always be touring bands, but the beauty of BandSwap is that each city can identify with their culture specifically, and bring in the parts and pieces to their local events as they fit. I could see if there was a particular city that had a really strong theatre presence, and we could start incorporating theatre into that local stuff here in Fort Collins. I think each place is going to start to really characterize themselves in their local events, and we can then promote nationally. I think that's going to be the whole development of the project. What if we decide to keep your band?
[Economic Development Manager] Shawn Tillman brought in Anita Rivas from Chico State, and Valerie Reddemann from Syn Media, and that group of people brought some great ideas to the table. Val was talking with us about doing a shared website that will have access for cities that are trying to organize and plan , as well as a communication place for everyone to put up what's going
I bet you they'd be pretty psyched. We'd give them big hugs and kisses and wish them well! We'd have to fly out and see them play. (Hmmm, note to Shawn Tillman: potential tourism dollars through kidnapping and extortion.) â&#x20AC;˘
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SCENE REPORT
KAZ! BY KAZI
KAZERCISE!
HOMEGROWN SHIT-KICKERS SING US HOME BY JAIME O'NEILL I would have given two joints of any finger if my friend Jim could have been with me for Brokedown In Bakersfield's show at the Sierra Nevada Big Room last Monday. We both spent time growing up in trailer parks, and we both loved that tributary of country music that flowed out of Bakersfield.
Hi, I'm Kaz! I want to talk about exercise. First of all, I don't like it. Sometimes if I'm running, I forget why I'm running, and then I get really scared because something might be chasing me! I can jump pretty high, but if I think of it as exercise, it loses all appeal; so I try not to think about it. Which is easy, because most of the time all there is in my brain is white noise. I think the most important thing is sleep. I recommend eighteen to twenty hours a day, with at least ten rotations of sleeping positions. A good one you might not know about is sleeping with everything tucked under your body so you look like a loaf of bread. It's a low-carb alternative to eating a loaf of bread. Some people talk a lot about what they eat. Usually it's people who only eat plants, and they think other people should only eat plants. They can be very pushy, and try to make you feel bad so you'll do things the way they do them. I eat grass sometimes but then I throw up on piles of important documents. Not everything is for everybody. I really like to eat dry cat food. It cleans my teeth and makes my breath fresh and meaty. I don't think you should eat cat food though, that would mean there's less for me.
exercise. If you do, I have some tips! 1) Try yoga. It's pretty much just stretching and breathing a lot. Plus, I hear the pants are really comfortable and you can wear them to fancy restaurants! 2) Do what you love, only faster. Unless what you love is lying perfectly still; if you try to do that faster, you might rip a hole in space/time. 3) Find something to chase! If you're the one doing the chasing, it isn't as scary. Mice and squirrels are good, but don't go chasing waterfalls; please stick to the rivers and lakes that you're used to. 4) Order every workout DVD they advertise on late night TV-then do them for about 3 weeks. It's cheaper than a gym membership, and you get that same feeling of being proactive with the same result of getting bored with it and giving up! 5) Love your body for more than how it looks. Love how it feels to be alive : how your lungs breathe, how your legs carry you, how your hands can touch and grab things. Not everyone has opposable thumbs! If you really love your body, it's easier to do nice things for it. Thanks for listening! I'm going back to sleep. •
But I digress. Maybe you do want to
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But Jim died three years ago come November, and I teared up when Brokedown In Bakersfield ended their show with a honey-sweet rendition of Merle Haggard 's "Sing Me Back Home." Jim called himself an "Okie-Portugee," and in the two hours the band played, there wasn't a song Jim wouldn't have known by heart-tunes by singers like Dave Dudley and Merle Haggard, that bad boy from Bakersfield. For an old dude like me, it was a show freighted with nostalgia, but for the thirty-somethings who danced at the lip of the stage, it was nostalgia in the making. The band was on third base with the soldout audience even before they took the stage. Chico music lovers incubated The Mother Hips-the '90s rock ensemble that would grow up here before spinning off this shitkicker-variant, driven by the vocals ofTim and Nicki Bluhm. Judging from the reception they received, you'd have thought the entire audience was made up of Tim Bluhm's immediate family-but hell, most families don't like their kin as much as that Big Room crowd loved Brokedown. They whooped and hollered as though the paternity suits against them had all been dropped, and Duck Dynasty had just announced a new season. When a homegrown Chico band can evoke the spirit of Bakersfield without having to actually live there, they've won the lottery. The band kicked off their set with "California Cottonfields," Hag's old song about Okies in "labor camps filled with men with broken dreams." From then on,
the audience was taken on a tour through some of the best stuff in the country music canon. Nicki and Tim resurrected memories of duets by Gram Parsons and Emmylou Harris. The band offered crackerjack covers of Patsy Cline, Tammy Wynette, and Loretta Lynn classics, with the requisite amount of cracker in that jack. They turned in standout renditions of "Workin' Man Blues" and "Mama Tried." They also did "Okie from Muskogee," a song that still pisses me off as I recall Merle kowtowing to Nixon by singing that right-wing mantra in the White House back when we "hippies out in California" were protesting Nixon's escalation of the war in Vietnam. That context was lost or forgiven as the band plowed a straight furrow through a field of Okie heartache, always true to the sources but with a stamp all their own, compressing a thousand honky-tonk nights into one. Tim Bluhm has a terrific voice, as does his wife, and their onstage chemistry is a flirty mix of musicianship and love. Dan "Lebo" Lebowitz, the pedal steel player, is as good as Cindy Cashdollar, and she's as good as they get. Scott Law plays a Telecaster like he was born with it in his hands, and Dave Brogan's drums linked up with Steve Adams' bass to tie the band together in a tight rhythmic wrap. If Jim could have been there, it would have been just about perfect. •
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SPETEMBER 16 - SEPTEMBER 22, 2013 BY KOZ MCKEV
ARIES
GEMINI
LEO
LIBRA
SAGITTARIUS
Get out of your rut. Quit relying
Find ways to make yourself more
Do super awesome cool things.
There is a light at the end of the
Your career game needs some
On Monday, the moon will be in
on the same old routine. Do
comfortable with your home.
Sing more often. Money, food,
tunnel. The last few weeks have
improvements. You can initiate
the last half of your sign . Think
something fun to mix things
When people criticize other peo-
and a pain in the neck are the
been a little bit uncertain. Your
these improvements. Work
and work smart. Losses make
up. Your power is in keeping a
ple, they are saying more about
most difficult issues surrounding
imagination is good. Your ability
may become more fun this
space in our lives for better and
good sense of humor and being
themselves than about those they
you these days. You're wanting
to make and spend money is on
week. Practice poetry, creative
more wonderful things to occur.
able to roll with the things that
rebuke. The full moon this week
to beautify your household and
the rise. The full moon brings
writing, or some other form of
Look forward and move ahead.
come at you. The moon will be
will help you bridge your career
make for good karma with your
you in touch with the difference
creative communication. The
The full moon is between find-
in Aries beginning late Thursday
with your social life. Be conscious
family. The full moon is wedged
between servitude and real part-
full moon links you with deep
ing your voice and recognizing
morning through early Saturday
before you ease into the moment.
between a need for change and
nership. A deepening of your love
personal feelings and memo-
friends who will listen to you. Be
afternoon. Wednesday night/
Take time to breathe, rest, and
an exotic and fabulous experi-
life, and actions regarding family
ries. From Thursday through
grateful for the ability to surprise
Thursday morning's full moon will
recover over the weekend.
ence related to change.
are needed.
Saturday, discover the soul of
yourself as well as others.
affect where your karma meets
AQUARIUS
your own creative desires.
your personal thrust, full force.
TAURUS
CANCER
VIRGO
SCORPIO
CAPRICORN
PISCES
Learn to love what you do and
Learn to overcome fear with love.
This is the last week of your sea-
Your social potential has been
There is no better solution for
The moon will be in Pisces in the
to do what you love. Preach
There is no limit to what you can
son. Come Sunday afternoon,
amplified over the last several
being stupid than to get an
wee hours of Tuesday morning
the things you practice-noth-
accomplish when you put your
the party will be over. In the
weeks. Be aware of your capabil-
education. Sometimes we don't
through Thursday early morning,
ing more and nothing less. The
mind to the task. The full moon
meantime, have you been able
ity of making new friends and
heed a warning until it's too late.
with the full moon as the grand
moon will be in Taurus late
Wednesday/Thursday will link
to get organized? Were you
influencing people in a positive
I heard a made up word called
finale. Be a deeper lover. Be
Saturday afternoon through
your adventuresome soul with
able to clean up last month's
way. The full moon links your
" blessons." Some of life's hard
vulnerable and get help when
Monday. You may find things
new career opportunities. You are
messes? The fu II moon goes
creative process with your sense
lessons are blessings in disguise.
you need it. Help others without
going your way. The full moon
poised to leap like a predator on
from light petting to some-
of duty. Pay attention to your
The full moon highlights the
resentment. Be grateful for all
earlier in the week brings a
its prey. The weekend looks good
thing more intimate. Let go of
dreams. Resolve to make good
intimate part of life that links
that you know and have experi-
sense of how the company you
for socializing and meeting up
what you can't control. Initiate
karma for yourself. Tuesday and
moving forward with knowing
enced . Be aware of healthy things
keep can add up to karma deep.
with helpful friends.
positive actions to improve your
Wednesday are your best days
what is behind you.
to do when you get bored.
finances.
this week.
Koz McKev 1s on You Tube, on cable 11BCTV,1s heard on 901FM KZFR Chk:o, and also available by appok1tment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmk:kev@sunsetnet
GREAT SUMMER READ Winter Melon, written by local writer Bill Wong Foey A defiant and passionate young woman survives the Rape of Nanking in this debut novel. Voted Book of the Month for July by Lyons Books "Lives of Asia" book group.
FE I
In paperback online at Amazon.com and Lyons Book Store, 135 Main Street, or as an e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes and DirectMusicCafe.
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