Synthesis Weekly Sep 30-Oct 6, 2013

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WAK E OF THE

DEAD

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR SARA CALVOSA SARA@SYNTHESIS NET This edition of the Letter from the Editor is about bad behavior-more specifically, people behaving badly in public sectors. Don't get me wrong; I'm not known for having a deep river of maturity coursing through my veins, but there's a difference between loving a good toilet joke (or teasing the other paper about their new editor who writes like a dopey kitty cat) and calling the City Clerk a c-word on a popular public blog.

So, without further ado, here's this week's People Behaving Badly:

TAX TALK! We all agree that Chico is going to hell in a handbasket, maybe it's time to do what cities across California are doing to pull themselves out of their economic slide. Matt Olson tells us how a measly half-cent sales tax could actually save our town.

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DEVASTATION SOUNDS 20TH ANNIVERSARY! Beloved reggae deejay Sanjay Dev is celebrating 20 years hosting Devastion Sounds and Negin Riazi gets the rasta dish on Dev and his irie reggae collection.

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IMMACULATE INFECTION

FASHION CON SCI ENCE.

YO, YOKED YO-YO SKI LLZ

Ken Swain and David Zoppi are the duo behind Young Love Outfitters, and Chico's latest and greatest young entrepreneurs.

Amy Olson was so hyped after her interview with Augie Fash, Yo-Yo King, that it took her a while to come down ... and then up again, and then down again. Get downtown on Saturday October 5th fromlOam-Spm and check out the National Yo-Yo Competition!

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SCENE REPORT

Godwin's Law states: "As an online discussion grows longer, the probability of a comparison involving Nazis or Hitler approaches 1." I take that to essentially mean that "whoever mentions the Nazis has automatically lost whatever argument was in progress." As my ChristianConservative Uncle Eddie from Orange County says, "I Protesters outside the Post Office didn't vote for him, but he on Vallombrosa . is my president and I gotta respect that." So once you start painting Hitler mustaches on posters of the President, you've lost.

Debbie Presson is a vindictive (edit!) I've been thinking alot lately about this ugly mess Downtown. I always knew Debbie Presson was a phony and a fake - It's hard getting around a sugar coated

cunt llke her. She won't give you what you are asking for, but she's so nice about

it! Have a great day!

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EDIBLE BITS

KAZ!

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COMICAL RUMINATIONS

SPORTSBALL

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OFF MY LAWN!

WHY ARE YOU SMILING?

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This is a woman who cou ld hand yo u a plate of steam ing

shit as though It's a giant white hunk of angel rood cake . She is a duplicito us, scheming bitch with a grin that says she is not afraid of retribution.

Juanita Sumner, outspoken rabble-rouser and blogger, had this to say about City Clerk Debbie Presson on September 20th : "I always knew Debbie Presson was a phony and a fake-it's hard getting around a sugar-coated c**t like her." Unless she's speaking directly to Presson's vagina, I really think Juanita should practice using her big-girl words.

And last but not least, our old pals the Chico News & Review have been busted recycling Synthesis jokes from the week before. Luckily, Amy knows that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery. Or in the case of the CN&R, the sincerest form of derpy-derp.

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6, 2013

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CROWDSOURCED Questions from our Synthesis Facebook page.

What song would you be happy to never, ever, ever hear again? Cnris Askew I wo·uld walk 500 1iles Like · Re ply· a:'.J 4 · 18 liours ago via mobile Dave Filomeo Man dy. Like · Reply· a:'.J 4 · 18 liours ago via mobile. Toni Fran.co I' m a Barbie gi rl in a Barbie world Like · Reply· a:'.J 4 · 18 liours ago via mobile

Greg Co lier Rollin' in the Dee p.• me think s. I will drown myself Like · Reply · .6 4 · 18 nours ago via mobile Tal ies in Show T hat Miley cirus s.ong she played at th e \llnas Like · Reply · .6 4 · 18 liours ago via mobile. Elisa .Speno Rose Ganga

Style

Like · Reply · .6 4 · 18 liours ago via mobile. Quenti n Grav.es Im a barbie gi rl. i n a barbi e world Like · Reply · .6 4 • 18 nours ago via mobile

April Kelly Friday. And Y CA. Like · Re ply · .6 3 • 18 liours ago Do11ni Davis It' s a small world ... Like · Reply · .6 4 · 18 liours ago via mobile

5Y!I!b2~~JE~ SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6

For 19 years The Synthesis' goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett kathy@synmedia .net

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Sara Ca lvosa sara@synthesis.net

Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Danny Cohen, Dillon Carroll, Erica Koenig, Howl, Jaime O' Neill, Kenneth Kelly, Kaz McKev, Ky Junkins, Matt Olson, Tommy Diestel Dan O'Brien, Jackie Scalf, Negin Riazi

ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR

PHOTOGRAPHY

Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net calendar@synthesis .net

Jessica Sid Vincent Latham

MANAGING EDITOR

ASSOCIATE COPY EDITOR Meagan Franklin

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net

DESIGNERS

NERD Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net

ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Karen Potter

Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net

DELIVERIES

OWNER Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net

Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Production s. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Production s. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis.

The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 9S928. Email letters@synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899 .7708 · info@synthesis.net

Cory Laduke Started from th e bott-om . Like • Reply · .6 4 · 19 liours ago via mob lie Jolu1 B. Anders.on "It' s Fri day''

AMY'S BAKING CO.

Like · Reply· a:'.J 4 · 19 liours ago via mobile: Sean Pickering Who let the DOGS OLJT WH O WHO .... lol Like · Rep ly · a:'.J 2 · 16 '1ours ago

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NOW HEAR THIS Synthesis Weekly Playlist

DAIN

JOE TEX - "AIN'T GONNA BUMP NO MORE WITH BIG FAT WOMEN"

AMY

GOGOL BORDELLO - "SUPERTHEORY OF SUPEREVERYTHING"

NICK

THE NOTORIOUS B.l.G. - "EVERYDAY STRUGGLE"

KATYA

THE WHITE SHADOW - "NARROW GRAVE"

MIKE

BARNEY AND FRIENDS - "HIT 'EM UP"

TANNER

HARUKA NAKAMURA - "ARNE"

SARA

MYSTERY JETS - "YOUNG LOVE"

MEAGAN DANGERDOOM- "CROSSHAIRS" COLIN 4

CLAP YOUR HANDS SAY YEAH - "LET THE COOL GODDESS RUST AWAY"

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6, 2013

Sara has her own "Tacks Plan" for Matt. SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM


READ MY LI PS: NEW TAXES! BY MATT OLSON

The Chico City Council has begun a series of excruciating budget cuts in response to deficits and long-term debt levels of immense proportions. According to Brian Nakamura, the new City Manager who was brought in last year to clean up our budget mess : "This probably is the darkest time for the city of Chico." Facing a $4.8M budget deficit and $24M in debt, the Council approved a new budget in June that laid off dozens of city employees (including 19 positions in the police department), drastically cut capital improvement projects, reduced hours for park access, cut park staff and facilities, put essential maintenance services on hold, forced rolling closures of fire stations, and generally engaged in a full scale slash-and-burn operation. The response to our budget crisis was one-dimensional, and demonstrated a lack of political courage to forge a balanced solution. Mr. Nakamura, in his characteristically cautious (yet sanguine) fashion, framed the discussion for the June budget discussion by saying, "There are only two ways to build a healthy community, and that is to grow the community, financially, responsibly, and also make the necessary reductions we need." To most of us, that kind of comment is fairly inscrutable; he was essentially giving a nod to the prospect of bringing in additional revenue, but only by growing the tax base, not the tax rate-more taxpayers, not higher taxes. Short of that, we must slash services. In the September 17th Council meeting, it was revealed that the budget for Fund 400 (the capital improvements fund) was in the hole $700K more than previously thought. This, of course, will mean further staffing reductions to cover the shortfall. Later in the meeting, in light of this revelation, Mr. Nakamura withdrew his request to recruit for two staff positions that had already survived the budget cut : the City Engineer, and an Economic Development Manager. This was an especially ironic turn of events, given that economic growth is key to his long-term plan. Nakamura explained, " Difficult as it may be, and understanding that one of the Council's goals is economic development, which is the revenue side, which is very critical I believe, meaning increasing our tax base-not increasing taxes[!] but increasing our tax base, property taxes and sales taxes-it's critical that we have the opportunity to forge economic development partners and opportunities. That said, given the recommendation for staff reductions, it's very hard to move forward with recruitment for these positions." Essentially, we' re only going to consider revenue by growing the tax base, but the city is abdicating any input it might have into the process by failing to hire an Economic Development Manager. The path we are on now is frightening-the beginning of a long period of economic stagnation, and doesn't at all match the vision most Chicoans have for our home. We don't want to live in a place where the police force is chronically overwhelmed, understaffed, and unable to respond to calls for help; where stabbings are on the rise

WITH SALES TAX

• •• ------

Police fully staffed. able to respond immediately to emergency calls.

Police available to assist with quality of life crimes, such as homeless trespassing and vandalism.

and there is no adequate response; where large areas of the city go without any protection. We don' t want to live in a place where the crown jewel of our city-Bidwell Park-is closed, goes unmaintained, and becomes unsafe and inhospitable. We have aspirations for our city to live up to the reputation as the beautiful, welcoming, fun place it has always been : a great place to raise a family, a compassionate community that looks out for each other, a place with awesome recreation opportunities and a lively downtown. Fortunately, some of these things are due solely to the people who live here and our strong sense of community. But we also need to make ongoing investments in common infrastructure to lay the groundwork for the quality of life we are used to. There is an another path we could choose-one that will allow us to restore essential services, increase public safety, and promote smart growth. It's something that 142 cities and counties throughout the state (including many smaller than our own) have already done to shore up their finances and provide for the services their citizens demand: pass a local sales tax. Currently, the state collects 7.5% on all purchases, and distributes 1% back to the city or county where the sale was made. Chico collected about $17M through sales taxes last year-about 40% of the city's total revenue. With a modest half-cent sales tax increase, the city would collect an additional $8M per year : more than enough to restore previous service levels, and even to add more police officers (which they needed prior to the cuts). This funding would also allow us to restore fund imbalances to their target levels within a few years. It is baffling to me that this has

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Park open every day, facilities maintained and clean.

Roads, sidewallks, bike lanes maintained.

not been championed (or even mentioned) by any sitting City Council member as part of the solution. This is the only way for us to maintain essential services and the quality of life we want in our town-and yet the path they chose is based purely on austerity, even at the risk of endangering the public. Of course, in order for us to trust the Council with these funds, they must come clean about the financial abuses of the past. Clearly, with the ongoing revelations about Fund 400, there has been some level of fraud and/or serious negligence on the part of City staff and perhaps complicity on the part of some Council members (past or present). We need a full investigation, and to hold guilty parties accountable for betraying the public trust. The Council are our representatives, and they should be much more assertive about demanding financial accountability and efficiency. No longer can they blame staff for everything when the entire nature of their job is oversight in the public interest. We deserve better, Chico. Let's all chip in a little to save our town, attract and retain innovative companies and smart people, and take pride in our home once more. Here's how we get it done : call up your Councilmember, inform them that they have the power to put a measure on the November 2014 ballot for a local sales tax, and that you are willing to chip in to save our town. Tell them that if they won ' t do it, we will do it ourselves by ballot initiative and vote them out of office. If you want to be a part of the solution, please visit http://

togetherchico.org •

SEPTEM BER 30 - OC TOB ER 6, 2013

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IMMACULATE INFECTION BY BOB HOWARD - MADBOB@MADBOB COM

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I am watching a network broadcast television show right now-it is the debut episode of a new series. So far it seems to be about getting high on pot. The laughtrack loves it; it laughs and gasps, and once I've heard it exclaim "awwww" after an awkward, ostensibly charming interaction. It's weird though, because all the characters are sitting around eating pot-laden brownies. I've been to an assortment of parties wherein people were getting high on pot. There have been a handful of these parties that involved brownies or cookies, but for the most part, people smoke weed. Maybe they smoke it in a pipe, or in a rolled cigarette ... but people smoke weed. I understand that you are probably reading this and saying, "duh." I also see the rock and the hard place that artificial public-decency standards have put these networks between. Right now you can talk about smoking weed on a network television show, and you can show people simulating the consumption of weed, but you can ' t show anyone actually smoking. So much time, money, and effort has been spent encouraging the idea that smoking is completely unacceptable, that now it can't be shown in a manner that lets it appear anywhere along the spectrum of neutralto-beneficial. We're not even supposed to

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SEP TEMBER 30 - OCTO BER 6 , 2013

use cigarette smoking currently to illustrate misfits, rebels, and criminals. " Sure I've killed before, and I'll kill again-but I want my lungs to be fresh and pink when they fry me ... " Pot's on this weird scale. It has become wide-spread to the point that if you know what you're looking at, you can spot it growing on every other block, but the drug's popularity has exceeded its accepted mode of consumption. Err, whatever. I'm glad whiskey hasn' t been illegal for a good eighty-five years. Don't quote me on the time frame ; Trish is helping with the math. Pot should be legal-everyone is coming around to that. Personally, I think a lot of illegal stuff should be legal. I like being able to walk down to the store and get a pint of whiskey if I feel like it. Okay, I'm three premieres in and wondering, what the hell drug is floating around Hollywood these days that is sustaining the production of these monstrosities? I don't know what's going on. I have always more or less enjoyed watching television. Something is amiss. Toilet Humor

Just saw toilet humor in a premiere. This is the universally-acknowledged admission that the writers are out of ideas. These people have had ... I don't even know how many months or years, to come up with ONE DECENT EPISODE. This is the best they can do? I give up. I'm going to drink the rest of this whiskey, take a long hot bath, and read a book.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM


EDIBLE BITS BY JACKI E REARDON - EDIBLEBITS@YA HOO.COM

SOUP WEATHER

I woke up early Saturday morning to rain thrumming on the roof and pouring down the drain spout outside our bedroom window, and those sounds made me smile. I am an autumn girl, these things make me happy-cool breezy days, scarves, boots, the leaves changing colors on the Gingko trees along the Esplanade, and soup. Glorious, glorious soup. When rain starts falling from the sky, I send silent thanks up to the weather gods because this means that I can justify having a steaming bowl of soup. My husband is not a big fan of soup, and so I don't make it at home as much as I would like to-but when it is cold and rainy, I feel justified in saying "Look, babe. It's soup weather!" I could eat soup at least once per week, even in the summertime, but I know that is just crazy talk. I also realize that by the time this article is published it may be 92 degrees outside again, but this mama has soup on the brain, so bear with me! I have a pretty solid arsenal of soup recipes that I can whip up at home, but sometimes I lack the motivation to make that magic happen; sometimes all that shopping/chopping/ cooking business is too much to bear. When I'm feeling this way but have soup solidly on my brain, I know of a handful of dependable local places from which to pick up a savory and fragrant bowl of soup to eat at the restaurant or bring home to enjoy-preferably on the couch, wearing yoga pants, with Orange Is The New Black on the telly. On Friday nights at Sierra Nevada Brewery, you can get an amazing, creamy bowl of clam chowder. Bacio Catering, Great Harvest, Wild Oak Cafe, Tin Roof Bakery, and Upper Crust Bakery also offer a few tasty soup

options each day. On Saturday, I picked up a bowl of Cream of Broccoli soup from Wild Oak Cafe. Formerly "Grill a Bites," the owners just changed the name to break away from the franchise, but the quality of the food and the menu have stayed the same. They usually have three or four soups to choose from and if you are there on a lucky day, they may have as many as six. Saturday's options were Cream of Broccoli, Chicken and Cheese Enchilada, or Rockin' Moroccan. I have had all three of these delectable soups before and they are all delicious, but I was feeling a little more on the "healthy" side (cream? what cream?) so I chose the Cream of Broccoli. It was a lovely green hue, pureed to a silky-smooth consistency, delicious and creamy on the tongue. I brought it home and garnished it with a little mound of shredded sharp cheddar and a few chives snipped from the garden. If you do pick up a bowl of soup to-go, there are so many options for garnishing and dressing it up once you get it home. If you want to add a fresh, herbal note to your soup, try fresh thyme, chives, scallions, parsley, basil, or even a dollop of pesto. For a little crunch, croutons, pepitas, sunflower seeds or even good old crushed-up crackers will do the trick. A drizzle of good olive oil, some red pepper flakes, sun-dried tomatoes, salty cheese (think feta, goat, or Parmesan) or bacon (always) will up the flavor-ante to just about any soup. I promise that we have lots of soup-weather ahead of us, and I hope you will experiment with your favorite bowl of soup and find a garnish that makes your mouth and your belly satisfied and happy. •

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SEPTEMBER 30 - OC TO BER 6, 201 3

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GLOBAL COMMUNITY RADIO BY NEGIN RIAZI

What could a three-year-old girl and a 98-year-old man have in common? Don't know the answer? Well, let me enlighten you. They both have a love for reggae and are among the avid listeners of KZFR's Devastation Sounds, a program broadcasting three solid hours of the best in roots reggae every Friday from 3-6pm. Hosted by Chico State and Butte College mathematics professor Sanjay Dev, this show reaches people in every corner of the world. With the unique and rare blend of songs that Sanjay plays, Devastation Sounds has gained a great deal of popularity; even some great reggae artists such as Earl 16, Michael Prophet, Linval, Thompson, and Alpha Blondy tune in to the show. For those not familiar, Devastation Sounds is a gem among radio shows. Sanjay plays about fifty songs for his listeners each week; all the selections come from his own collection-from those 50 songs, about 45 of them can't be purchased, since the vinyl is no longer in print. I learned that over the years a few singers have even asked Sanjay if they could get his copy of their record for their collections, since they didn't have it themselves. Tell me a little bit about your record collection. Reggae music is a highly collected genre with many record[ings] only available on 45s (seven -inch) ... I have about 12,000 reggae vinyls, including many tracks of Bob Marley rarities that only a handful of people have [around the] world. That's an impressive number, how did you come to accumulate so many?

My listeners responded well when I would say "Increase the volume, increase the bass, disturb the neighbors; let me blow up your woofers with this shattering, devastating sound." My friend Nick suggested I change my name to Dev-A-Station Sounds, which incorporates my last name into it. I heard you were voted Professor of the Year in '06. As a professor, do you see a connection between mathematics and reggae? Absolutely. Music is my passion, and education is my salvation. I love math, as it helps me understand this universe-and I love reggae music, as it gives me serenity. I take the approach of educating my listeners with reggae history rather than just playing music, and I take the approach of showing the beauty of math rather than just lecturing the subject. I've been told that you sold some of your records to raise money for an education center back in Nepal. What was the reason behind doing this? I sold about 300 prized records on Ebay and made $19,000. I used this money to buy computers as well as to establish scholarships for underprivileged kids for the education center located in the village my dad grew up in. My dad is my inspiration. If it weren't for his education, I would still be herding water buffalo back in Nepal. The scholarships have helped support 32 kids at one time, but hopefully in the future I will be able to increase this number so that more kids will have the opportunity to receive an education.

The 20th anniversary of Devastation Sounds is this month; what's the exact date? And do you have anything special planned? September 20th of 1993 was when I first started. I am trying to see if I can compile my 20 best shows-one from each year-and give CDs to dedicated listeners, although it may be a huge task; there would be about 60 hours' worth of music. Or, I will just compile 20 of my favorite singers and record hard-to-find cuts from each of them and give it away. Or better yet, I will ask all my listeners to donate $20 each to an orphanage or a school in a third -world country in the name of KZFR. Maybe I will come up with something more creative, but it will certainly revolve around the idea of giving. Lastly, what message do you want to send to your listeners? I am so blessed to have received so much love and support over the years. With their love and support we have raised thousands of dollars for KZFR over the years. We have great volunteers and staff, including the general manager Rick Anderson, whom I have the utmost respect for. Reggae music unites us all, and we have strength in unity. I feel so lucky to be a part of the radio station spreading this passion with reggae music, and it's my privilege to serve as a volunteer for KZFR. I know what I'll be chilling to on Friday. It's time to listen to some "devastating sounds" on 90.1 FM.

Lots of hard work. I looked in record stores, auction sites, and even received about 500 records from a Marley fan and regular listener of the show who passed away from cancer. I've been collecting for almost 25 years. How were you first introduced to reggae? I grew up in Kathmandu, Nepal in the '70s. My only exposure to English music was once a week for an hour on the radio. In the winter of 1976, I remember listening to the record of Bob Marley live in London. The song that was playing was " No Woman No Cry." There was magic in the voice and melody. [People became] captivated by reggae music because of its rebellious, militant, and spiritual message, as well as its positive and universal message dealing with equality and the rights of everyone. How did you end up as a DJ for KZFR? I started [the show] the third week of September in 1993. My close friend Jay was in a reggae band as well as a great DJ at the station. He really encouraged me to come and join the team. Okay, so why the name "Devastation Sounds"?

8

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6, 2013

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM


BUY A T-SHIRT, CHANGE THE WORLD BY SARA CALVOSA In this edition of Who's Impressing Me Now, I bring you two charitable chaps with an eye for fashion-David Zoppi, 29, and Ken Swain, 27, are the wonder twins behind Chico's own Young Love Outfitters. Check out their website at www.younglove.co and remember that the holidays are always upon us before we know it, and the best part of buying from Young Love Outfitters is that a portion of your purchase will go to a charity of your choosing. I'd like an eco-fleece Worldwide Hoodie please!

with charity :water, which is a huge organization. That's our biggest goal : $5000 to build a well. And then Leaping Stone is a local charity that builds schools in West Africa. Ken : And that one is $2000. We can equip three classrooms with desks and chairs. David : We'd like to eventually go on missions with these charities. Ken : That's the ultimate goal. What happens when you reach a goal?

How'd this collaboration come about?

Ken : We switch it out with a new charity.

Ken : How did this come about ... we were working together in the mall at a retail store, Aeropostale. We were just kind of over it, over the whole corporate game. We kind of just wanted to branch out and do something on our own. We had a little electronic band together for a moment.

David : We'd like to work with a bunch of different causes.

Of course you did! What was the name of your band? David : L.A.M.E.-Lights and Music, Etc. Ken : [laughing] We were pretty big on MySpace. We had a couple hundred followers back in the day. You have an awesome social element to your business; how did you connect that piece? David : Yeah, we just kind of gravitated toward it; we knew we wanted to have a business but make it a little different and help people if we could. So we came up with the concept of working with different organizations and letting people choose which [organization] they wanted to help out with their purchase. You're geniuses. People love making choices and pushing buttons. Ken : It's kind of funny, we didn't know anything like this existed but there are other brands that do similar things. Once we started going we realized there are a ton of brands. It's interesting, businesses are moving toward that socially-conscious, socially-responsible area. Especially younger entrepreneurs it seems like. Ken : Now we have a platform where we can really help more people and it feels good. David : Right now we're working with Plant With Purposethey plant trees in reforested areas and help communities that rely on agriculture as a way of income. Every dollar that we raise plants a tree. Ken : We feature three charities and then we set up a goal for each one. We set a price point that would fulfill a certain goal. So a dollar plants a tree, a hundred dollars plants a forest; so we chose to do five [hundred] to plant five forests. David : 15% of a purchase goes toward the charity. So $500 will plant 500 trees. So that's that goal. And we're working

So, how's biz? David : The past year's definitely been about learning and growing. Ken : Finding ourselves. David : I think our mission has stayed the same but our priorities have changed. Now we're trying to focus more on [items] made in America. Ken : Yeah and staying close to the product so we can oversee the quality. David : We've started printing our own shirts. We were going through a screen printer but no one around here does water-based inks. So we dec ided just to do it ourselves. So now we're printing our own shirts. How do you come up with the designs? David : We go off our individual influences; we like classic Americana, California culture style ... Ken : Vintage. Old cigar boxes, old labeling, we love that. What's next? Ken : Next is getting into stores; so far we've just been on line. Now that we've launched our new shirts that are totally made in America, designed by us, made in small batches, they're a lot more personal and we want to get them into stores and see where that goes. David : We feel like we finally have a product that we can really stand behind, you know? We're ready to take it to the next level. We're working out of the house. We have a small office right now and we're looking for another space. Ken : Now that we're doing our own screen printing we need a bigger place ... with better ventilation. [Laughs] Are you guys from Chico? David : I'm from Corning. Ken : I'm from Los Angeles but I've been here for almost 12 years now. My Mom lived in Paradise. I was getting into trouble down there and moved up here when I was 17 or 18.

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DAVID

KEN

David : I went to school at Butte and worked in the Mall; I finished my degree online. Ken : I met my wife from Red Bluff, 10 years [ago] in December. I've been up here ever since; I fell in love with the place, it's awesome. David : But we're together so often that some people think we're together. Ken, you gotta tell the story. Ken : Yeah we had an office in the Waterman-Breslauer building where KZFR is across from the park. And there's like this sweet little massage therapist next to us and we 'd see her in the hallways and stuff. And then we saw her at this teriyaki place a couple of weeks ago and she's like, "Oh my gosh are you guys together yet? Have you married? Tied the knot? David : You know, now that the Supreme Court ruled. Ken : I sa id, "Oh, I'm married." And she was like, "To a.... ?" I was like "To a .... my wife?" And she was like, "Who's a.... ?" And then I said, and he's in a relationship [points to David] and she said, "To a.... ?" It was funny. David: It was too much. Ken : Sweet little lady. Hilarious though. "And you're .... ?" [laughing] She was digging for the dirt. How do people find out about you? David : We've had some success with biogs. We've been on MTV's blog, and Details magazine. Ken : We'll do markets in San Francisco, like the Treasure Island Market. David: We haven't done any this year in Chico, but we're hoping next year. We like the pop-up shop idea. How did you come up with the name Young Love Outfitters? David : There's not really a big story around it. Ken : There was a song we both liked called "Young Love" by the Mystery Jets. We just liked it, it's just unfiltered, unjaded love. Follow Young Love Outfitters at

http://instagram.com/yloutfitters SEPTE MBE R 30 - OC TO BE R 6, 2013

9


Whaaaat? Is that on netflix? I hope not! It sounds cool, but I wouldn't exactly call the film A-grade entertainment. So how long have you been doing this? I've been yo-yoing since fall '97/spring '98. So over 15 years. I've already been yo-yoing longer than some of the world champions have been alive. Crazy. Wow! What is the national yo-yo competition like? Walk me through your preparation as a competitor.

AN INTERVIEW WITH YO-YO GOD AUGIE FASH

BY AMY OLSON I am officially in love with Augie Fash, yo-yo master and incredibly good sport, who doesn't use his powers for evil. He is the best at interviews. In honor of him, we should all go to the National Yo-yo Competition on Saturday, September 5th, in the downtown city plaza. I was really disappointed to find out the yo-yo weapon thing was a myth. I had all sorts of questions about what you could or couldn't kill with one, whether you carry them in holsters for self defense, if you've ever been in an after-hours yo-yo fight club, etc. Was that ever something people in the yo-yo world believed, or just us philistines? (Surely you've heard the thing I'm referring to; I believe it was posited on a Mountain Dew commercial.) I think a lot of people in the yo-yo world believe(d) it. But how can you not? It's kind of like believing in the possibility of winning the lotto. Even if it's far-fetched, we want it to be true. Who wouldn't want yo-yo's history to involve badass tribesmen of eons past, hunting wild gorillas with yo-yos? Even if it's too good to be true, I want it to be true. That said, I'm pretty sure if you hit someone hard enough with it, it would hurt. So yes, maybe a weapon. Will have to experiment and get back to you on that. Do you think it could become a thing now? Vigilante yo-yo justice league? Your calling card could be yelling YO! and then hitting people in the face when they turn to look. I don't know if justice in the future involves blindsiding people in the face with yo-yos, but if it does, I'm going into law enforcement pronto. There's even a Japanese movie called Yo-yo Girl Cop. This girl's got chains on yo-yos, [with the] prototypical skimpy, demeaning super-heroine outfit on. Hitting bad guys right in the face with metal-spiked yo-yos. So I feel like that could definitely happen. Since it's apparently already happening in Japan, give us five years or so to catch up.

10

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6 , 2013

Egg whites and chicken hearts. Jumping jacks and crunches. Chasing chickens? If that's what you need to build up the cardio to get the lung power you need so you don't hyperventilate when you get nervous on stage, then sure. But I feel like that'd be more of a rural thing. Maybe Turkestanian players. I almost said "Kazakhstanian," but then I remembered I have a good yo-yo friend from Kazakhstan. So in major competitions, there are two rounds to prepare for; both rounds are live in front of an audience and set to the background music of your choice-i.e., you hear a lot of crappy dubstep. The first is one minute, and acts as a preliminary. Participants tend to go hyper-fast and cram as many tricks and points into their one-minute round as they can. Consistency rules all in this round, as a couple minor mistakes will quickly knock you out of the contest. Second round is the final round and lasts for three minutes. This round tends to be more of a well-rounded performance. Technicality, variety, presentation, choreography, and cohesiveness are all things needed to win the final competition. Are you competing this year or are you retired? I'm sitting this year out, but I'm only semi-retired. The last time I competed in the National Contest was 2009. In 2010-2011, I was touring across China promoting yo-yos during the event, and last year I was a judge.

was only one yo, so I went with the cellist. I also have some questions that I wanted our writer Mike to ask Laidback Luke, but he wasn't able to; can I ask you? Sure! Have you ever laid back so far you hurt yourself? Yes. Did you have to dress up like a robot to work on the Daft Punk remix album? How about a remix of a robot, like a cyborg?

Damn! Do you get a lot of yo-yo groupie poon'? Do they snap back immediately for more when you toss them aside?

I wasn't required to dress up like a robot, but it did help me get in the right mood. Kind of how laying rose petals in a perfectly warm bath helps lead to ... reading your favorite romantic novel while crying into your now-empty pint of Ben & Jerry's.

What's poon? Is that something sexual?

Could you beat a robot in a fight?

Loi, poontang. It's fun to say.

I'm confident I could beat a robot in a fight. If I had a weapons locker.

I'm a nice boy! I just want to hold hands and watch romcoms. No poonany, lol. But really, it's just like anything. Yo-yo is a good icebreaker for meeting people, but it's not something I use to try to get other people into the buff. It really deteriorates from here: Do you listen to a lot of Yo Yo Ma to get hyped? Do you get tired of yo-yo puns? Yo Yo Ma is a true artist! But not one well-suited for getting pumped up. I listen to hip-hop because it helps me feel more confident, even if deep down I know I'm a chubby white kid from the suburbs.

Who's a better musician: you, or your (Laid back Luke's) wife, Gina Turner? More importantly, we make beautiful music, together. Nyuk nyuk nyuk. Could you beat her in a fight? I'd win in a bar fight, but she'd win in a breakdance battle. Her hips don't lie. Ladies and Gentlemen-Augie Fash. •

I had a similar question about Yo Gabba Gabba, but it

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11


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Domestic Bee r Combo

Full Bar in Back Roo m

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Daily Happy Hour from 4-7 PM

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PBR $2.2S Eve ryday !

$2 Ka mi Shoot ers

1/2 OFF PO OL

8-cl ose $3 Socce r Mo ms

JAZZ NIGHT- Martini

$5 Smirn off Blaste rs

Specials

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All ages un til l OPM

Baby Back Ribs $ 10.99 Philly Cheesestea k $7.50

5-9pm $4 Pi zza Sli ce & Domestic Bee r Combo $2 off any appetizer

6p m-Close $4 Gra d teas

S-9pm

$3 All bee r pin ts

$3 Sierra Neavada Pale &

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Ol d Chico 7- llpm SS Dou ble Wells 8-12a m

$3 14oz Slushi es

11-2 PM

Daily Happy Hour

Mo n- Fri 2-6 PM

10 oz. Tri -Tip Stea k w/

8-llpm $2 Domestic Beers

$4 20oz Slushi es

$2.SO Dom &

from 4-7 PM

$ 1.50 PBR or Coors Pi nts

Fries or Sa lad & Garlic

and $2 Wells

Add shot for $1

Sie rra Nevada Dra fts

Full Bar in Bac k Roo m

$2 Ka mi Shooters

20% off Entres 5-Bpm

5 fllavo rs to choose from

Weds, Fri & Sat Nights !

$4.50 Dbl Baca rdi Cckt ls

3-6 PM $3.SO Dbl We lls

9- Close

8-C lose

Bread $8.99 8pm-C lose $4 Jage r $S DBL Vod ka Red Bull $6 Jager Red Bull

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PBR $2. 2S Everyday !

1/2 OFF POO L All ages unbl lOPM

$2 Ka mikaze shots FREE Pool after lOPM

$3 14oz Slushi es

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Daily Happy Hou r

$4 20oz Slushies

Bloody Mary Bar

from 4-7 PM

Bartende rs Choice

Baby Bac k Ribs w/Sa lad, Fries & garlic bread

$4 Bl asters

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Add shot for $1

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Full Bar in Back Roo m

$10.99

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5 fllavors to choose from

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$4.50 Db l Baca rdi Cckt ls

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Sign-u p at noon. Starts

$4 Single/$6 Dou bl e

9-Close

8 PM-Close

lPM.

Jack o r Capta in

BACARDI PR OMO

$6.SO DBL ca ll s

Bp m-C lose

$2 Sierra Nevada All ages un til l OPM

FREE Poo l after l OPM

10AM-2 PM

Daily Happy Hour

FR EE POOL

$S. 19 Grad/Ga rden/

Doll ar W ings 5-8pm

$5 Bottles of Champagne

from 4-7 PM

1 hr. w ith every $8

Turkey Burge r w/fri es

$7 Dom estic Pitchers

w ith entree

PBR $2.2S Eve ryday!

pu rchase

or sa lad

$8 Sier ra Nevada Pitchers

$4.SO Bloody Mary SS.SO Abso lut Peppa r Bloody Marys

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Blood ies $3 We ll, $4 Ca ll, SS Top, $6 Goose M imosas $2/fi ute, SS/pint $6 Bee r Pitc hers

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Hap py Hour- 4-7pm $ 1.75

$3 Cuervo Marq is

Pints, $ 1.00 Shots, 1/2 off

$2.50 Corona's

Bear Burger w ith fri es

40oz beer $2.50 or $3

all Single cockta ils,

& Sierra Drafts

or sa lad for $5.29.

$3 Fireball Shot

$1.00 Food items

Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM $ 1

llam-lO pm.

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CLOSED

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KARAOK E 9-CLOSE

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1/2 off w hile wea ri ng Bea r Wear. M UG CLUB 4- lOP M

Happy Hou r- 4-7pm Buck

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night 9 pm-l am

8-lOPM $1 Sierra Pale

$5 Dbl Bacard i & Co ke $3 Go ldsc hlager

Ale, Domestics, Ro lling

$3 Bus hmill s

up lOP M-close 25C pe r

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Mon-Sat free pool 6-8 PM

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SMAS HED SPELLIN G BEE

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Hap py Hour- 4-7pm

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Happy Hou r S-8 PM

1/2 off all cockta il s, $ 1. 75

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$5 House Martinis

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$4 Dbl Jack Daniels Honey

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$1 we ll cockta ils, Sierra

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$3 We ll Cockta il s

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$3 Jose Cuervo Silver

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20% off wine by bottle

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$3 Guiness Drafts,

$ 1 off Call li quor

$2 Bl ac k Butte

and bottled beer

$3 Glass of W ine

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Dri nk specials!

$2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada Half Off Rocksta r Cockta ils

BUR GER MA DNE SS !

KA RAO KE 9 PM

CLOSED

Hap py Hour- 4-7pm

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$3.50 151 party punch

Happy Hour S-8 PM

$3 Fire Eater Shots

$5 House Marti ni s

$2 Se lect Bee rs

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$4 Dbl Gin & To ni c

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$9. 75 Pa le Pitche rs

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$3 Double Well Cockta ils

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Half Off Rocksta r Cockta ils

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13


BEST BETS FRESH ENTERTAINMENT FOR THIS WEEK MONDAY, SEPTEMBER

3QTH

TUESDAY, OCTOBER 15 T

MA MIFFER

ROAR ING 20s

HOUSE OF LOW CU LTURE CIT IES ERNESTO A LVARADO

GRAND OPEN ING PARTY WINCHESTER GOOSE Ankle down to the Goose, bimbos and bearcats! Know your onions and don' t be a cancelled stamp, this Grand Opening is going to be a real sockdollager! Careful not to pull a Daniel Boone getting half-seas over the Speakeasy suds they' re dishing out and everything's Jake. Now you' re on the trolley! 6pm dewdroppers!

CAFE CODA Feel your way around in the dark with the tonal exploration duo Mamiffer. Following Aaron Turner's post-metal band Isis, they' re so post-post-metal it's like they're unobtanium. All ages. $8. Starts getting weird at 8pm

WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 2N째 EMMYLOU HARRIS & RODNEY CROWELL

SUNDAY, OCTOBER GTH AS YOU LIKE IT CHILDREN'S PARK AMPITHEATRE

LAXSON AUDITORIUM

All the world's a stage-particularly when the Shakespearian play from whence this saying comes is performed under the greenwood tree. Come hither, come hither, come hither... here shall we see no enemy but winter and rough weather. Seriously, I hope it doesn't rain. Admission is $10-$15. Starts at 2pm

Harmony might not be the right word for the marriage of voices between Emmylou Harris and Rodney Crowell. The way they sing together is not the fairytale idealism of harmony, but more like the give and take, the compliments and compromises that shape an honest, weathered relationship. $40-$62. 7:30pm dent/child $20, senior $33, adult $35, premium $40. 7:30pm

Lost On Main: Wake of the Dead, The Soft Bombs. $5. 8pm-lam

Sierra Nevada Hop Field: Oktoberfest

Dwight 2013. $20. 7:30pm

Lost On Main: Down North. $5. 9pm

Sierra Nevada Hop Field: Oktoberfest

Salmon$47 .50 Oktoberfest ticket, $30

Turner Print Museum: Art exhibit opening, Unsettled Dreams: Monsters

2013 ! Polkacide, Bonerama, Leftover Salmon. $47.50 Oktoberfest ticket, $30 designated driver ticket. Sold Out. 4-lOpm

designated driver ticket . Sold Out.

University Art Gallery: Art exhibit

30 MONDAY Sierra Nevada Big Room: Shane

opening, photographer Victoria Heilweil. All ages. Free. llam-4pm

2WEDNESDAY

4 FRIDAY

Manzanita Place: Fork in the Road. 5:30-8:30pm

1078 Gallery: Guitar Project with

3 THURSDAY 1078 Gallery: Postmadonnas, So Much Light. $5. Doors 7:30pm, show 8pm Blue Room Theatre: Preview of Shakespeare's As You Like It. $10-$15. 7pm Cafe Coda: Never Come Down, Giants in Disguise, Folksteady. 8pm

Warren Haskell & friends w/special guest Massimo Delle Cese . $10 ($5 seniors & students). Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm Blue Room Theatre: Shakespeare's As

You Like It. $10-$15. 7pm Dex: Every Hand Betrayed, With

Wolves, Waves of Leviathan . Aberrance . 7-lOpm

Dex: Acoustic show. $5 . 6pm

LaSalle's: Fall Equinox. DJ Trazz vs DJ

Laxson Auditorium: Author, play-

Babyface dueling video set. EmVee opening sounds, AZ Redsmoke back patio. 9pm

wright, TED speaker Eve Ensler. Stu-

14

in Print. All ages. Free. llam-4pm

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6 , 2013

5 SATURDAY Blue Room Theatre: Shakespeare's As

You Like It. $10-$15. 7pm

2013! Polkacide, Bonerama, Leftover

4-lOpm

6 SUNDAY Cafe Coda: Bird & Wag, Joe Craven,

Bruce MacMillan, Jim Miller. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm Cafe Flo: Chico Care Free Day. The

Dex: Club Royal Dance. $5 . 7pm

streets will be closed , so ...Street

Downtown Chico: National Yo-Yo

Party?

Competition. 10am-5pm

Manas Art Space: Calvin Johnson,

Harlen Adams Theatre: Daniel Hies-

Fera, Katie Barrett, She Fetus. All

tand Memorial Concert. Chico State

ages. $5. 7pm

Wind Ensemble, Alumni Band. Free.

Senator Theatre: Laid back Luke,

All ages. 2pm

w/D.O .D. $30. Doors 7pm, show

Monstro's: Dysmorfic (Italian Grind

7:30pm

Core), Repul sione. All ages. 8pm

SYNTHES I SWEE KLY. COM


ONGOING EVENTS 23 MONDAY The Bear: Bear-E-oke ! 9pm Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with the Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm DownLo: Pool League . 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm

Graduate: Free pool after lOpm 25 WEDNESDAY The Grana: Live Jazz with John Seid. 5:30lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open Mic. All ages. 7pm

8:30pm

The Bear: Trike Races. Wint-shirts and

Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOpm. Signups start at 6pm

Bear Bucks. Post time lOpm . Mug Club 4-lOpm

Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 9pm-lam

Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with the Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm, then Way Maltese: Open Mic Night. Comedy. Out West Country Showcase, featuring Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night The Blue Merles. 7-9:30pm 7-11:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Swing Dance University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Wednesday. 8-lOpm Last Call Lounge: Karaoke. 8pm-12am

Woodstock's: Spelling Bee for the Grownups. 6:30-7:30pm

Chico Women's Club: Afro Brazilian Dance with Baba Kahanus. 5:30-7pm Dex: Hip Hop Wednesday. $6. 8:30pm

24 TUESDAY

LaSalle's: Live Music Happy Hour. 5-9pm. No cover. Featuring Mack Morris.

Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-lam

The Bear: DJ Dancing every thursday, Fri-

27 FRIDAY

Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am

lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Writing Group. 3:30-Spm

Kalico Kitchen: Karaoke, with prizes! 8-lOpm

The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris. 9pmclose. $2, $10 VIP.

LaSalle's: '90s night. 21 +

Cal Skate: Adults only skate night. $6. Woodstock's: Open Mic Night.

18+.9-llpm Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Danc-

SICILIAN CAFEI

ing w/DJ Hot Rod. 10pm-1:30am DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups noon, starts at lpm. The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm LaSalle's: 1980Now! 8pm

The Bear: DJ Dancing every thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. No Cover. 9pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. llam

Maltese: Live DJ Park Avenue Pub: Live Music with Max Minardi. 6:30-9:30pm Quackers: Live DJ . 8:30pm-lam

Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music showcase. 7-lOpm

Scotty's Landing: Music Showcase. Open

Crazy Horse Saloon: DJ Hot Rod and Mechanical Bull Contest. 9pm-1:30am

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

Mic hosted by Rich & Kendall. 5-9pm

Duffy's: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour. 4-7pm

Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pmlam

26 THURSDAY

The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 9pm

The Bear: DJ Dancing every thursday, Friday, and Saturday night. No Cover. 9pm

Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm

day, and Saturday night. No Cover. 9pm

IT'S A BOUNTIFUL FALL HARVEST AT

DownLo: Yz off pool. All ages until lOpm

Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

28 SATURDAY

VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The Beach): Acoustic performance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm . No Cover.

The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm

Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table . Starts at 8pm

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

Circle. 2-4pm

Cafe Flo: Open Mic Singer-Songwriter Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm

Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-9pm. Salsa Dancing, 9-llpm

Tortilla Flats: Latin Nights. DJ El Kora de Chico.

lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knitting

Duffy's: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9pm. $1.

VIP Ultra Lounge (Inside The Beach): Laurie Dana. 7-9pm

T-Bar: Live Music. 7-8:30pm

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

ate Bellydance Class with BellySutra. $8. 6-7pm

Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi and Friends. 6:30-8:30pm

Sultan's Bistro: Bellydance Performance. Two soloists featured . 6:30-7:30pm

The Tackle Box: DJ Thomas. 8pm-lam

lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: lntermedi-

Maltese: Smashed Spelling Bee. 9pm Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. The Tackle Box: Swing Dance Wednesday, 21+ classes 7-9pm DownLo: Game night. All ages until University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm lOpm

Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm

Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close.

DownLo:8 BallTournament.Signups 6 Pm

Chico Women's Club: Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:308:30pm

9:30pm

Cafe Flo: Blues Unplugged with Mark "Porkchop" Holder. 7-lOpm DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. 8-llpm. All ages until lOpm

The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm

29 SUNDAY

Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 9pm-lam

DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until lOpm

Maltese: Fabulous Friday LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm

LaSalle's: Karaoke . 9pm

Peeking Chinese Restaurant: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $3.

The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8pm

Maltese: Live Jazz, 4-7pm. Trivia, 8pm

·-~~=~~:;~~--Brm9·m-nus··c:aiifioil"-far··1

St OFF Pops-size Pie! Hours: Mon-Wed & Friday 11am-8pm @Spike's Bottle Shop 1270 East 1st Avenue 530.864.2760

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:

- '

1020 MAIN STREET CHICO '••?) 530.3~5.2233 (G ••~ SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6, 2013

15


ON THE TOWN

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

COMICAL RUMINATIONS BY ZOOEY MAE - ZOOEYMAE@SYNTHESIS.NET

BROKEN BRAIN SYNDROME

Do you remember how in old episodes of Looney Tunes a character would escape from jail and they'd throw the spotlight on the wall, causing them to freeze, eyes wide, arms and legs splayed apart? All day I've felt like that goddamn spotlight is following me around, throwing light on my broken brain-and I have to say, I do not like it. All I want to do is stay home and watch Point Break until my eyes bleed. Alas, I can't, mostly because it is midterm season. I am having a shit-tacular week, and it's only Tuesday. I have not one or two, but three midterms this week. And every one of them has been formatted in such a way that absolutely the only way to succeed, at even a mediocre level, is to commit the hundred or so terms for each class to memory, then dump them out of my brain forever the moment the last question has been answered in order to make room for the others. If you don't do that essential brain-dump once in a while, then it would be an impossible-to-navigate swamp of quotes from early Greek philosophers and ideas on the history of modern materialism. It's a safe assumption that on any given day, the mental landscape of my brain looks like the scene in Labyrinth where Jennifer Connelly is stuck in the garbage dump with the hobo woman made of trash. My brain is that garbage dump. And the hobo woman. And the garbage.

anxiety have been a factor in my life for as long as I can remember, but they were both a lot easier to keep in check when I wasn't in school. Something about being in a room that feels too small, with a gaggle of twenty-year-olds talking about their impending 21st birthdays that makes me feel like an imposter. And it doesn't help my anxiety that I always somehow choose the seat behind a girl whose hair hangs down her back and onto my desk. And sometimes if she tosses it just right (and she always does), it gets tangled around my coffee straw, which causes me first to recoil with disgust, then to throw the cup away because, you know ... forever unclean. Someone please explain to me, why is it that there are girls in every one of my classes with long hair who just cannot leave that shit alone? Whenever I get grossed out by their hair obscuring my notes, I try to remind myself it's probably just me, and that a normal person wouldn't find the hair so repulsive or put tiny rolled-up pieces of paper in it. I mean ... forget I said that last thing. It's been suggested that I should be on some sort of medication for anxiety, but I don't particularly cotton to that idea. There's no shame in it-but part of me thinks I might miss my anxiety, like an old friend who encourages you to lie around in sweatpants every day and eat Honey Nut Cheerios straight out of the box. Shut up, don't judge me. •

I digress ... but seriously guys, I think my brain is trying to kill me. Depression and

16

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6 , 201 3

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM


OFF MY LAWN! BY JAIM E O'NE ILL - JAIMEANDKARENONEILL@GMAIL.COM

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

ON THE TOWN

KID STUFF: TED CRUZ MEETS TED GEISEL On Tuesday, Senator Ted Cruz took to the Senate floor to stage a filibuster in a petulant stand against the Affordable Care Act. He spent part of his filibuster time reading from Green Eggs and Ham, by Dr. Seuss (aka Ted Geisel), thereby inspiring the little knockoff rendition below:

Do you like this guy, Ted Cruz? I do not like this guy Ted Cruz, I think he is just real bad news, And if he wins, we're sure to lose, I do not like this guy Ted Cruz. Would you like him here or there? I would not like him here or there, I would not like him anywhere. I would not like him in L.A. I would not like him in Green Bay. I do not like this guy Ted Cruz, Or any of the stuff he spews. Would you like him in the House, And not the Senate, this little louse? I would not like him in the House, Or in the Senate, or with my spouse. I would not like him here or there. I do not like him anywhere. Would you like him eating lox, While drinking whiskey in his socks? I would not like him eating lox, Nor drinking whiskey in his socks. I do not like him in the House I do not like him with my spouse. I do not like him here or there. I do not like him anywhere. Could you like him with a goat Enough to cast your only vote? Would you like him without strain If you lacked a working brain? Would you like him if he changed And was a little less deranged?

Would you like him back in Texas Where he could no longer vex us? Yes, I might like him without strain If I did not have a working brain. I might like him if he changed And seemed a little less deranged. And I might like him back in Texas Where he could no longer vex us. But I cannot like that yucky smirk That brands him as a privileged jerk Who wants so much for so very few But hates good health care for me and you. I tried to like him with all my might But he was entirely too far right. More dislike I could not muster Until Cruz stood to filibuster And used his Tea Party juice To read to us from Doctor Seuss So I will say goodbye for now And leave us all to wonder how A man whose shtick is such a sham Could read to us Green Eggs and Ham. •

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SEPTEMBER 30 - OC TO BE R 6, 2013

17


ON THE TOWN

PHOTOS BY VINCE LANTHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

SCENE REPORT

DRIVE-BY INTERVIEW BY MIKE VALDEZ - EMVEE Prior to becoming Laidback Luke the producer, you were a graffiti artist. What inspired you to drop the paint cans and pursue music? Do you still paint? I was a teenager only just getting into it. My first talent in life is drawing. I've always drawn my whole life. When I hit puberty it switched into graffiti. My graffiti "career" wasn't long though. One of our crew got caught putting up one of our first major pieces, and he snitched the rest of us. After that I decided to stay in the legal zone and focus mainly on my music. A year ago you did a remix of Ricochet by Marty James, who is a local Chico artist. How did you come across Marty James? What about that song made you want to do your own edit? Ah wow, I love Marty! He also wrote "Turn The Night Up" by Enrique Iglesias, which I just remixed. I didn't know he was behind it. I love the Martel stuff. I mostly prefer listening to '80s-inspired music whenever I don't listen to dance music. I heard Ricochet in his studio and really wanted to rework it for the clubs. Your live performances are always so high energy and not very laid back; what made you stick with your name after all these years? Sidenote: do you win every limbo contest? Ha ha, thanks to my Kung Fu I should be quite good at limbo! Yeah, I'm actually a very easygoing guy in real life. Well, not easygoing because I [don't] like being busy, but [because I'm] a calm type of person. I need a little kick up the ass to get myself going and let that crazy energy out. That's why I prefer high-energy music at my show. If I' m gonna dance, I might as well jump. I know you are very big into martial artsmore specifically Choy Li Fut Kung Fu. How does this passion integrate into your busy tour lifestyle? That, and my Tai Chi keep me very balanced and energized. It's my armor to survive this insane schedule that's part of the touring life. We go to the max. There's no DJ union

18

SEPTEMBER 30 - OC TO BER 6, 20 13

that says: "Hold up, the amount of sleep you have and the time you spend traveling is inhuman!" Because it usually is. I'm not complaining, I love what I do and realize I'm very blessed. But sleeping 4 hours [a night] on average on tour, drinking, eating unhealthy and not having a steady daily structure can really break a person. How do both your passions in life translate with one another? Does music affect your martial arts? Does martial arts affect your music? Do you listen to your own music while you practice Kung Fu? Or kick people while on stage? I practice my Kung Fu in silence. In that sense, they are very separated. I see my martial arts career as a separate career as well. But it does keep me very balanced and tapped into life and my body. The zen thing helps me deal with stress and keeps me very calm just before I go on at my shows. • Laidback Luke with D.O.D. Senator Theater $30 Doors 7PM, Show 7:30

SYNTHES I SWEE KLY. COM


SCENE REPORT

BIRD & WAG WORLD TOUR COMES TO CAFE CODA

PHOTOS BY VINCE LANTHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

ON THE TOWN

~

BY JAIME O'NEILL A guitar signed by Les Paul hangs on the wall of Peter Berkow's house in north Chico. If Les Paul's name means nothing to you, then your musical education is sorely lacking. Mr. Berkow, on the other hand, is soaked in music: playing it, singing it, married to it (quite literally, since his wife plays and sings alongside him), producing concerts of it for PBS, and performing it whenever his other activities allow him the time. He recorded songs back in the '70s that attracted a westcoast underground radio following, and with his band, Bird and Wag, he's about to launch a " world tour" that comes to Chico's Cafe Coda on Sunday, October 6. Bird and Wag will be joined that night by special guest Joe Craven. "I've seen Joe Craven play with some of the greatest musicians around," Berkow told me last week. "He's amazing no matter who he's playing with, from David Grisman to Tommy Emmanuel to Roy Rogers. He brings out the best in other musicians. Bird and Wag is really good, but with Joe along, it's a notch better." Berkow and his band bring a sense of fun to whatever they play, with infectious humor infusing every song. An evening spent with these people is like being with close friends, only funnier. "My songs all have a sense of humor," Peter said. "And Joe has that same sense of humor. It's a joy to have him as a friend, and to join him onstage." Berkow wrote a song called "Burger Love" and a few other tunes that got beaucoup airplay in the late '70s. He wrote all the songs the group will be doing next Sunday. "Some people in Chico remember that 'Burger Love' song," he said. ''I'm going to sing it for the first time in 30 years." Of his wife, Tricia, Berkow said : "I'd known her several years before I fell in love. She was singing 'Ave Maria' at a wedding, and hearing her sing moved a friendship toward a romance. She has a beautiful voice. I'd

been playing music since I was in my 20s. I sang, but Tricia really helped me find my voice. People like Tricia and Joe keep me growing." Peter is a friend of mine, and I like his wife even more, but I'm speaking objectively when I say you'll have a good time at this concert. Hell, even if you decided you didn't like Peter, there's no one on the planet who ain't gonna like Joe Craven. That's humanly impossible. Homegrown talent is often taken for granted. People will drive two hours to hear a mediocre popular act, but they'll pass on the opportunity to hear a local band play better stuff just minutes away. If you want to break the boundaries of such homegrown reverse-provincialism, you should show up at 265 Humboldt Ave. this coming Sunday night. Tickets are $15, and the show starts at 7 :30pm. •

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SEPTE MBER 30 - OC TO BER 6, 2013

19


KAZ!

SPORTS BALL

BY KAZI

BY DAN O'BR IE N

KAZITIVITY!

PULLING ON SUPERMAN'S CAPE

Hi, I'm Kaz! I want to talk about positivity. It's the thing that makes everything great, no matter what. For example : my best friend Gossamer says he hates me and tries to scratch my face all the time, but I have a positive attitude so I just pretend my face itches really bad, and then he's helping me out! Lately the weather is getting chilly, and I love it. For one thing, it means I can finally justify wearing fur! Another great thing is sunbeams. On a cold morning I can wake up and see a sunbeam, and just go over and fall asleep in it! I also love hot weather. When it's hot out, it feels really good to take a nap under the lemon tree. Getting lots of sleep helps me stay positive. Another great way to stay positive is to do nice things for yourself. I like to lick my own butt! Another option for people who are less flexible is to have a good stretch in a sunbeam and then take a nap. If you do that every day, you might be able to reach your butt someday too! It's also good to do nice things for other people, like using your paw to sweep up the cat litter and little bits of poo that they kicked out of the litter box into a neat little pile. Service to your community makes you feel useful and connected to others! Sometimes I hear people say very negative

20

things. No matter what the topic is to begin with, they find a way to make it about the thing that makes them mad, like gun rights or Obama, and they call everybody else mean names like "stupid" and "Hitler." I think that when people are nice to each other it makes the world a better place. Good manners and kindness are the glue that holds society together. I've heard that some people like to complain, and I find that confusing. If being unhappy makes you happy, what does that even mean? Does being tired make you feel awake? It's a lot easier to keep things simple and just enjoy being actually happy instead. Someone told me it's because angry people like to stay in their comfort zone; they grew up with people being angry, and they think being positive might not be safe! I would like to offer them this advice on how I do things : My comfort zone is everywhere, because my body has a thick layer of fat that's nice to sleep on. I got that layer of fat by being nice to myself and eating all the cat food I want. There are a lot of things that make me feel good and I make sure to enjoy them. I feel safe all the time because I'm nice to people, and that makes them like me and be nice back. I never overthink things; it's better to think about them just enough, and then stop. •

SEPTE MBER 30 - OCTOBER 6, 2013

Once upon a time, sports were a metaphor for the strength of the human spirit; the tenuous connection between human and myth brought to life (when the cameras rolled, in the modern age). The hero's journey begins in obscurity, and it is the rise to fame-to prestige-that comes to define how we see them; it is in actions tempered by adversity and the opposing forces in their lives, on and off the field. We have lived long enough to see the death of the sports hero. No longer is the player who puts on the bold colors of a hometown team a hero, but rather a clever con to the average sports fan. Cynicism aside, where do we go from here? Strikes have become less about the love of the game, and more about shouting matches between players and owners for shares in a billion-dollar enterprise. When we talk about the pillars of the game in this era, we talk about individual players-not the teams they played for. Every player who can manage to carry a team for a few games is ready to look for greener pastures, to play a market flooded with politics and consumerism. The real question becomes : What does it take to be a sports hero? When I think back to the posters I had on my wall, I am reminded of the players who transcended the game. Are we to blame for a sports culture that supports a cookie-cutter factory of producing spotlight stars that fill stats sheets and highlight reels? Can we really blame that on players who simply want to make the best possible living with their skill set? Do athletes steeped in hard -luck stories and meteoric rises present the

greatest opportunity to revive heroism in sports? I think the answer is much simpler than that. We often look externally for answers to the problems of our lives, and this problem of heroism in the modern sports figure is no different. The athlete does not have an obligation to be a hero, but rather chooses to be perceived one way or another based on the manner with which fans reinforce their behavior. We want to see more offense and less defense; we want more dunks and passes than lay-ups and running plays. Is it any real surprise that vaulting over a Kia represents a shining moment in sports history, when its value is traded so highly among fans? If we want to see a game where teams don't throw in the towel at the end of the season to get a higher draft pick, then we need to demand it. Don't like players who use their status to influence the trajectory of the game? Then don't support those athletes-invest your money in someone else. Heroes carry with them the dreams and hopes of those who as pi re to be great. They are often lost in the wilderness, and through the context of their lives they find what it takes to be great ... to be a hero. We have to want to be better, and we have to demand more of the sports we love and the men and women who play the game. We must help them in their journey. We must start looking for heroes once more. •

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM


WHY ARE YOU SMILING? BY KENNETH KE LLY - KENNETH.KELLY12@GMAIL.COM

THE MAUSOLEUM OF ALL HOPE AND DESIRE This last Wednesday was William Faulkner's birthday, and since he couldn't celebrate it (what with being dead and all), I've decided to reflect on what I've learned about being a writer and a comedian from his life and works. First, I think I should address one of my favorite passages from all of literature: Quentin Compson's section in The Sound and the Fury. When Quentin first wakes up on the day he kills himself (I'm not one for spoiler alerts. Also, Snape kills Dumbledore.) he hears the ticking of his grandfather's pocketwatch and he remembers the words his father Jason told him when he gave Quentin the watch: "I give it to you not that you may remember time, but that you might forget it now and then for a moment and not spend all your breath trying to conquer it. Because no battle is ever won, he said. They are not even fought. The field only reveals to

man his own folly and despair, and victory is an illusion of philosophers and fools." It was also F. Scott Fitzgerald's birthday last week, and by the time Fitzgerald was my age he had already written This Side of Paradise and was writing The Great Gatsby. Remembering that is disheartening when I've barely written anything worthy of being published. What I need to be remembering, though, are Jason Compson's words. Time is a poor litmus test for success. If I think to myself that, "if I haven't accomplished something by now I never will," then I'm losing a battle that isn't even being fought. That's true for any artist. It doesn't matter when you accomplish something, only if you tried. Art is immortal, and sometimes it may take a while for it to

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be appreciated. Guess how many copies The Sound and the Fury sold in its first fifteen years of publication? Go ahead, guess. A million? Not even close. 100,000? Nope. Lower. 3,300. Yep. The first edition of the sixth-greatest novel (according to the Modern Library) sold 0.00004% of the copies Fifty Shades of Grey has sold. It appears that even success is a poor litmus test for success. If you're a comedian struggling to get a laugh at open mies, or if you're an artist trying to get a show, or if you're like me and you're a writer who is waiting patiently for rejection letters from literary magazines, just remember that the time you spend failing is not lost time. You can't beat time. Relax, drink a mint julep, and do your art like you have all the time in the world. •

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6, 2013

21


s

H

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6, 2013 BY KOZ MCKEV

ARIES

GEMINI

LEO

LIBRA

SAGITTARIUS

Now is not a time to indulge in

Break the ice and meet the per-

Bloom where you are planted.

This week is good for creating

The party-animal within you

AQUARIUS Negativity is part of the human

fear, but rather a time to take

son who symbolizes whatever it is

Learn to appreciate where you

the new you. Pay off debts and

has been evoked. You are ready

experience. No one needs to be there on a constant schedule.

action . If you see a tidal wave

that will motivate you to be more

live more. This is a greattime

complete old projects early in the

to get together with friends

coming, get out of the way. Try

loving. Kindness could be the best

for writing poetry, telling stories,

week. Make a big deal out of the

to paint the town red, so to

Bad things occasionally happen

to be motivated by love. You're

form of leadership. If you have

working with your hands, or

things you love and value. The

speak. A word of caution to

to good people, yet there is no

probably at least motivated by

children, now is a good time to

visiting long-time friends. You'll

new moon in Libra helps you to

Saturday night revelers: what

reason to stay bummed. You are

lust. Nature and biology deter-

pay more attention to them. The

be taking more short trips and be

relate to others in a fresh way.

you do tonight may have huge

luckier than most at this point.

mines much of our actions. The

new moon brings more things

involved with more communica-

You have renewed courage to

karmic implications in the

Let your blessings be known and

new moon is about partnerships

and situations to be happy about.

tion exchanges. The moon will

move forward in life. Financially,

future. Realize that God and the

be generous with your wealth.

and putting others before your-

Smiling should get easier. Falling

be in Leo on Monday, giving you

things begin looking up by

Goddess are watching. The new

The new moon helps you to be

self. Strive to demonstrate your

in love feels natural this time of

a reason to strut your stuff. The

Sunday. The moon will be in Libra

moon says to value your good

the bigger person. Compassion

creative prowess. Learn to be

year. Take it easy on the festivi-

new moon in your third house

Thursday night through Saturday.

friends. Only hang out with the

can overcome smarts. Love is

more adaptable to any situation,

ties, and give your body plenty of

brings short trips, a love of the

You know how to get what you

ones who truly have your back.

the water that puts out the fires

no matter how big of a surprise.

rest and good nutrition .

environment, and an opportu-

want through negotiation and

Don't be lured by foolishness.

of hate.

nity to appreciate your siblings.

seduction.

TAURUS

CANCER

VIRGO

SCORPIO

CAPRICORN

PISCES

In the words of Bob Dylan,

Be happy for the good things

Be receptive and observe what

Be conscious and vigilant as you

It is showtime once again, and

Seek resolution, even if it seems

"you're gonna have to serve

happening in your life. Dispel fear

is going on all around you.

come near the end of your race.

you find yourself more in the

like only the other person is get-

someone." Do you know how to

by staying grounded in the people

Listen twice and speak once.

Don't let good times blind you

public eye. The good news is

ting their way. Being happy with

work with others and be a team

and things that you love. This is a

Money is to be made, as well as

to life and its pitfalls. Sunday

that you have many good friends

yourself is a victory no one can

player? What sort of charitable

great time for working on family

delicious food. The moon will

will be a powerful day with

you can call upon for help. The

take away from you . Be modest

cause motivates your soul? Your

matters, and for honoring your

be in Virgo Tuesday through

three planets in Scorpio, plus

new moon rules your career,

about getting into debt, and

employment, your small pets,

ancestors. You have the creative

most ofThursday. Get all of

the moon and the north node.

talents, skills, and relationship to

avoid overextending yourself.

your aunts and uncles, and your

juice and imagination to make

your projects out of the way so

All things are possible to those

the public. This is a time when

Other people will help you with your needs. The new moon rules

health are all going to be a part

things happen in an exciting way.

you' ll have a more enjoyable

who believe. Pray for those

your leadership skills can shine.

of this new moon. The strength

The new moon rules your home

weekend. Friday's new moon

who are isolated in prisons, rest

Tuesday through Thursday are

death, birth, sex, occult studies,

of your love may be put to a test

life, dreams, memories, and

brings financial improvement

homes, and hospitals. Take time

your best days for reaching goals

and other people's property. The

this week. Be aware that when

parents. Having fun will be hard

as well as culinary delights. Sing

to be alone and to take care of

and getting things done. Be

world of travel, education, and

sharing, everyone deserves the

to avoid.

uplifting songs and be thankful

business. The new moon rules

ready for surprising news from

exotic experiences is about to

same treatment and outcome,

for something or someone

karma, secrets, and the plea-

home.

open up to you.

or a substitute that is mutually

every single day.

sures of the bed.

satisfying. HAPPY BIRTHDAY" Una! Viramontes 10/7/88, Brent Clark 10/2/66, Jeff House 10/5/66 Koz McKev 1s on You Tube, on cable 11BCTV,1s heard on 901FM KZFR Chk:o, and also ava!lable by appOJntment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmk:kev@sunsetnet

GREAT AUTUMN READ Winter Melon, written by local writer Bill Wong Foey A defiant and passionate young woman survives the Rape of Nanking in this debut novel. Voted Book of the Month for July by Lyons Books "Lives of Asia" book group.

FE I

In paperback online at Amazon.com and Lyons Book Store, 135 Main Street, or as an e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes and DirectMusicCafe. ADVERTISMENT

22

SEPTEMBER 30 - OCTOBER 6, 2013

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM



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