Synthesis Weekly Oct 28-Nov 3, 2013

ALSO ...

HORROR FINALE JIM LOPEZ INTERVIEW

Beard Art by Matt Loomis

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

11/7, 9pm Kytami & BOOMTOWN

11/8, 9pm

MONDAY

Kicks & Licks ft. CELO!!!

TUESDAY

SATURDAY 11/9, 9pm E-40

THURSDAY

FRIDAY

SATURDAY

October 28

October 29

October 31

November 1

November 2

Kill Devil Hill

For the Love of Frank

Bumptet & Wake of the Dead $10 Cover - $5 W/ costume Costume Contest $100 cash prize

Vokab Kompany

Harvest Ball

Featuring Ike Willis

3 player teams. Sign up with bartender.

Starts at ?PM

Dead Sexy Costume Contest Best Costume Prizes

8-BALL

9-BALL

TOURNAMENT

TOURNAMENT Sign-up at NOON Starts at 1PM

LETTER FROM THE EDITOR SA RA CA LVOSA SARA@SYNTHESIS NET I've been thinking a lot about generation gaps and how my generation fits into the world. I'm of the generation with one foot in the past and one foot right up the ass of the nearest Millenial. We can remember getting trophies for being awesome while getting dick for being a benchwarmer.

Our generation is most famous for cynicism and overall apathy. We don't blindly accept anybody's authority, but we understand that we're cogs in a machine and that everything's completely fubar'd. Also, we say "fubar."

•

• ··e CARE HORROR FOLLICLES SERIAL FINALE

If you notice that things around town are extra beardy in November, it's because the Chico Beard Collective has started their annual Novembeard fund raiser! Do you want to be a follicular philanthropist? Check out our beardtastic interview with Jeremy Votava and Ann Fox(y) to learn how you can get on board the beard train. BEARDS.

www.facebook.com/chicobeardco/Jective

PAGE 8

STORIES OF PURGATORY & PARADISE

It's the exciting conclusion of our threepart horror serial by Sam Kitchen. As usual he brings his special flair for the freaky and weird, and really gives you an ending you'll remember. Liz "Scalding Hot" Coffee illustrates! If you're a slacker and haven't read the first two pieces, check them out at synthesisweek/y.com

PAGE 20

IMMACULATE INFECTION

Literary Field Correspondent to the Insane, Jayme Washburn, interviews local author Jim Lopez about his new book, a collection of short stories called

Abstracts of an American Pageant.

Books are available at Jimlopez.org

Right now we're in our mid-30's, and it's time for us to take the world-reins I suppose, but those self-centered oldschool authoritarian baby boomers just don't want to hand anything over until they can be absolutely certain that they can screw us from the grave. And let's face it, we're not in a hurry to be making any decisions; we're content to work the counter at the video store while waiting for the creepy manager to run off with a high-schooler. Ambition is not the hallmark of my generation. I was hoping that successful undermining and subversiveness would be the hallmark of my generation, but it's going to take a really long time to erode the system with mere sarcasm and slacktivism. In the meantime, every annoying thing about life can somehow be traced back to those rotten baby boomers. They can barely use the internet, cell phones are confounding to them, none of them know how to type, and they utterly loathe Millenials (it's a lot like how you hate your mom because you're exactly alike). It's come full-circle. And like a sad middle-child meme, in the center of it all, we've got my generation. Slackers, misfits, sarcastic middle children, adrift in a sea of first-world problems.

Anyway, I'm going to embrace my ennui and just streamof-consciousness it and poach my own Facebook page right here :

PAGE 10 SPORTSBALL

When are men going to start wearing gold lame half-shirts again? (Asking for a friend.)

Why is Arcade Fire calling themselves The Reflektors? (There is no right answer.)

Why don't we have a professional haunted house/haunted corn maze in Chico? Because of police horses.

Why does Karen Potter have four mermaid costumes?

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PAGE 16

EDIBLE BITS

OLD CROCK

PAGE 6

PAGE 17

COMICAL RUMINATIONS

REVIEWS

PAGE 7

Canadian horror movies are a thing. A really weird thing, eh. It's like they feel bad for scaring you so they just stop abruptly at the end of the movie and then the credits are just full of people saying, "sory."

I've been watching scary movies all month and nothing I've seen so far has been more disturbing and horrifying than Preachers of L.A. There was another huge earthquake in Japan. Get it together Japan.

Counting calories sucks because it's all about self-loathing and math, the two worst things.

PAGE 18

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I just want to apologize in advance for my resting bitchface lately. It's not you, it's me. Well it's some of you. (Baby Boo me rs)

OCTOB ER 28 - NOVEMB ER 3, 2013

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CROWDSOURCED

Questions from our Life in Chico Facebook page.

BEARDS POT

Do you ration your kids' candy?

James Robinson lns.pect the n le t them eat as much a.s. they wan t before goi ng to the in- laws the next visit , Like · Reply · s'.J 1 · 50 minutes ago via mobile· Edited Julie Avery Powell My son has. always ration ed his own candy. I s.ay let t hem go for it, so d'oes t ti e dent ist! Eat it all and get it over w ith !

Like · Reply · s'.J 2 · 40 minutes ago via mobile Sarah Bai ley Co for it! Aher Halloween night it goes in t he t rash !

Like · Reply · s'.J 2 · 43 minutes ago Wendi Tanisha Miller Go for il. Becau se t he first ni·ght wtien t hey fall as leep ... mama goes for it l !l Like · Reply · s'.J 5 • 46 minutes ago via mobile Sarah Plants Ration !

Like · Reply · 30 minutes ago via mobile Brandon Ardaibald Make them a deal , you will pay tti em l ce nt / 5 cents / 2 Sc/ etc for certain sizes of ca ndy. They w ill most likely choose t heir most favorite to k ee p, and d'i1sh out the rest to you to make $ 10. 13. You are ti appy , they ar e hap py.

Like • Reply · 6 minutes ago· Edited Michelle lgra Meecliam Well yo u have to at least let them ·count and sort it.. . Th en ration! ! I didn't eat candy when I was young but I loved dumpin g it out an d sorting it !l Like · Reply · 17 minutes ago via mobile Joe Messer Go for it .

Like · Reply · s'.J 1 · 41 minutes ago via mobile Luke Minter Go for it on Hallowee n nig ht and t hen ration.

Like · Reply · s'.J 1 · 49 minutes ago via mobile Ma1ralee Van Note Ration .

Like · Reply · s'.J 1 · 52 minutes ago via mobile

FAC EBOOK.COM/C H ICOCA

NOW HEAR THIS Synthesis Weekly Playlist SA RA

ARCADE FIRE - "REFLEKTOR"

AMY

IMELDA MAY - "INSIDE OUT" SCHOOLBOY Q- "BLESSED"

NICK KATYA

TYLER, THE CREATOR - "BASTARD"

M I KE

REBECCA BLACK - "FRIDAY (DEADMAUS REMIX)"

SY!:l!!:'~§J~ OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3

For 19 years The Synthesis' goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett kathy@synmedia.net

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS

Sara Calvosa sara@synthesis.net

Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Danny Cohen, Dillon Carroll, Erica Koenig, Howl, Jaime O'Neill, Kenneth Kelly, Koz McKev, Ky Junkins, Matt Olson, Tommy Diestel Dan O'Brien, Jackie Scalf, Negin Riazi

ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR

PHOTOGRAPHY

Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net calendar@synthesis.net

Vincent Latham

MANAGING EDITOR

ASSOCIATE COPY EDITOR Meagan Franklin

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net

DESIGNERS

Jessica Sid

NERD Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net

ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Karen Potter

Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net

DELIVERIES

OWNER Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net

Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti

B ET HA NY FU GEES - "READY OR NOT"

TAR A

BRUNO MARS - "GORILLA"

DAIN

BLACK SABBATH - "WHEELS OF CONFUSION"

TANNER

THE DATSUNS - "SITTIN' PRETTY"

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OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form w ithout the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis.

The Synthesi s welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number.

We may also edit your submission for content and space.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899 .7708 - info@synthesis.net

SYN TH ES I SWEE KLY.COM

IMMACULATE INFECTION

BY BO B HOWA RD - MADBOB@MADBOB.COM

NO PARTICULAR PLACE TOBE Unemployed Again I was laid off from my job the other day-the business closed its doors. It's a strange feeling, after seven years and four months, to wake up on a Tuesday morning with no place to go. I wandered around half the day looking at trees, watching the way the sunlight falls on the property during those hours when I am typically off site and trying to look industrious. Not that I don't see that sunlight, on those two days a week when the job doesn't require mebut during the weekend I am rushing around like a madman trying to fit a four-day list of tasks into a 48-hour window, failing miserably, getting drunk, then collapsing into the couch in despair as time marches toward Monday morning, relentless, merciless.

But now things are completely different. I spent yesterday on a host of tasks. I took Archie in to the spayand-neuter clinic for the cruelest cut, ate breakfast at Jack's, and scavenged a truck-load of plywood, particle board, and two-by-fours. I drove back to Los Molinas and unloaded the wood. Then I spent an hour or so in a state of confusion, puzzling over how to navigate the California EDD bureaucracy. I think I figured it out. Then I tagged along with Trish, back to Chico, to a ceramics date. We had an early dinner at Tres Hombres where we sat outside for an hour and watched the passersby, then hit up the ARC thrift store for reading material, and finally picked the puppy up from the vet. He is an anxious dog, and not accustomed to being on a leash or riding in a car, but he seemed surprisingly unfazed by the operation that rendered him a eunuch.

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on my computer screen here reads 4:06 a.m., and I've already had a bath and read several chapters of T.C. Boyle's World's End. It is dead quiet out here on the stoop; only the clacking of my keystrokes and an occasional rumble of a distant truck roll ing up or down 1-99 perforate the silence.

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The possibilities and potential of the pend ing day stretch out before me like a road paved with diamonds. I can write, I can sing, I can dance, or forge iron. I can wander around the yard and ogle the trees-I can act like a monk who had been lost, but has finally found his way to the altar. I can drop to my knees in supplication, I can laugh, or I can weep. I can build great piles of tree limbs to burn, but I can't light them up until the county says it's okay. I can clean out the garage, build cabinets, or punch a new window into the shop. I can cut grass, plant crops, and pull weeds.

My mind is spinning. Without the confines of schedule, my time is my own. The clock

But first things first-I can shoot this rambling to Sara, and then go back to bed.

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5

EDIBLE BITS

BY JACKI E REARDON - EDIBLEBITS@YA HOO.COM

HUMBLE BEGINNINGS

You peer into the depths of your fridge to see what you can excavate and throw together for a quick meal. You see leftover bits of a couple different cheeses, some almost-done-for spinach leaves, a few humble eggs, a bit of milk and one lonely zucchini that you intended to cook the other night but you lost your steam somewhere between walking the dog and the desire to sit your ass on the couch and watch The Big Bang Theory. Guess what? With what is in that fridge, you have a tasty, easy meal just waiting to be thrown together. Frittatas are the king of the egg dishes in my house, since you can basically throw in whatever bits and pieces you have kicking around the fridge and go to town. Once you make one or two frittatas, you can't be stopped! It's a simple method that you can twist up a million different ways to suit your palate and mood.

Eggs are a key staple in our house, and we always have a dozen on hand for those nights when dinner inspiration eludes me.

These delicious powerhouses are chock full of protein, iron, vitamins, minerals and carotenoids (disease-fighting nutrients).

I purchase my eggs at the Wednesday or Saturday morning farmers' markets whenever possible (I love Chaffin Orchard's eggs and Cowgirl Eggs) but if I didn't make it to the markets, I will pick up a tasty, local dozen at Chico Natural Foods. Or, if you

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OCTOBER 28 - NOV EMBER 3, 2013

are a homesteading-hipster, you might be cool enough to have your own chickens that provide you with the freshest eggs possible. There is an immense difference in the flavor and color of the yolk in local, organic eggs rather than what you may pick up at a massive chain grocery store. The yolks of good, organic and truly fresh eggs are bright orange-yellow bursts of sunshine instead of a sad, pale yellowish color, and the flavor is incomparable.

There are so many ways to cook an egg and make a fantastic meal out of it: fried egg sandwich, with Swiss cheese, avocado and a little hot sauce; frittata; quiche; baked eggs with cream, gruyere and bacon served with toast soldiers; breakfast tacos-scrambled eggs, beans, cheese, avocado, salsa or hot sauce; omelets; egg salad sandwich with a little Dijon mixed in, served on toasted bread with fat slices of avocado; migas-eggs, tortilla chips, tomatoes, jalapenos, cheese, salsa. Or, put an egg on it! Add a fried egg to: a bowl of fried rice; a mound of Spanish rice, avocado and salsa; saute whatever veggies you have on hand, pile that on a grain of your choice (farro, rice, couscous) and a squirt of Sriracha; pasta with garlic, ParmigianoReggiano, salt and pepper.

I'm not including any recipes here, but I hope that this may inspire you to try a new eggbased meal. Go check those interwebs!

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

COMICAL RUMINATIONS

BY ZOO EY MA E - ZOOEYMAE@SYNTHESIS.NET

FART WITH CONFIDENCE I am dating someone, let's call him "Santiago." He's a righteous babe who's smart and kind and listens to me showcase my terrible array of hard opinions on things, which just proves what endless patience he has. If the proper channels were aware of how much time he'd served listening to my personal ranking of all the James Bond actors, he'd probably have been deemed a saint by now.

We've been together for almost two years, so I think it's safe to say that much of the mystery has dissipated from the relationship. I mean ... we've never inspected each others b-holes or been present for each others BM's, but on more than one occasion I've awoken to find that both the air above the blankets and below are uninhabitable due to fart attacks. Much as I might raise a fuss about the poor air quality at times, I do actually value the intimacy and accept the smelly with the good, as the good heavily outweighs the smelly.

Obviously this fart-attack issue isn't uncommon, which is why the geniuses over at Shreddies have developed fart-proof underwear for both him and her. According to the Shreddies website: "Shreddies flatulence-filtering underwear are a proven medical solution to flatulence,

whatever its causes. Not only do Shreddies work by effectively removing flatulence odours, but they also help to give that added assurance and often much-needed confidence. The Shreddies motto is 'Fart with confidence' and our underwear ensures just that. Our patented filter underwear removes odours through the use of a thin and flexible carbon cloth."

Now "Santiago" can eat all the vegetarian chili his heart desires without me cringing preemptively with every bite he takes! Thanks Shreddies! For real though, you can procure a pair over at www.myshreddies.com. Pro-tip: Order a pair, wear them sans pants while eating canned garbanzo beans, then test how stable the blast doors on dem' bitches are by farting the night away.

Switching gears now. In "in your face, MOM" news, Archaeology magazine has reported that not only did ancient folks get tattoos to rebel against their parents and to prove their undying love to whatever jug-blowing band was popular in the Copper Age, they were in fact medicinal!

In an article in Archaeology, they report: "Otzi's clothing, tools, and weapons are a remarkable window into the life of a herder or perhaps a chieftain in Copper Age Europe ...

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

Otzi is covered with more than 50 tattoos in the form of lines and crosses, made up of small incisions in his skin into which charcoal was rubbed. Because they are all found on parts of the body that show evidence of a lifetime of wear and tear-the ankles, wrists, knees, Achilles tendon, and lower back, it's thought that his tattoos were therapeutic, not decorative or symbolic." It's possible that these tattoos are evidence of early attempts of acupuncture, which was previously thought to have originated in Asia more than 2,000 years later. It's also possible that those scribbles and lines were the Copper Age way of writing "MOM" in a heart, or "SKOOL SUX DIX." Jury's out.

OCTOBER 28 - NO V EMBER 3, 2013

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Behold the Chico Beard Collective! For the past five years, men with bushy faces and women with great flaming beards in their hearts get together to raise money for under-funded high school music programs in Chico during the month of November. It's called "Novembeard" and it is AWESOME. And this year's celebrity judge is none other than one half of America's favorite team of beardos on the Amazing Race, Brandon Squyres.

But hey, maybe you 're (Kathy) thinking, "Who cares! Beards are hairy and why is this a thing?" It's important because everybody loves kids, music, and education. And Chico is fairly well-known for being a rich and diverse community of artists, musicians, performers, and makers. Luckily, many of our beard-growing citizens know that cultivating and nurturing that colorful creative environment starts with our kids. And in these budget-unfriendly times, The Chico Beard Collective is stepping up to the plate, cumulatively donating nearly $10,000 to The North Valley Community Foundation since the inception of this most excellent fund raiser. The NVCF divvies up the money and sends it to Chico High School and Pleasant Valley High School to spend on music

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OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

and arts programs. My heart-beard is growing so fast right now.

In case you're on the fence about joining in the fun, I asked some questions about how it all worked . The Chico Beard Collective sent over their Chief Facial Officer, Ann Fox, and Jeremy Votava to the Synthesis office to answer some questions and get everybody pumped up for a new month of growing godlike beards for charity.

What if you're not really good at growing a beard? Like you're a girl. Or a guy that doesn't grow really fluffy facial hair.

V: We don't discriminate. We've actually had a couple of girls do it. They'll never win best beard, but they could get a special award for bringing in the most money. One girl made her own beard and wore it a couple of years ago. We also give out The Wolfman Award, in honor of Cliff Claven, for guys that can't grow a full beard in four weeks. And it's a cool way for dudes to hang out with dudes and meet new people. The Monday checkpoints aren't mandatory but they're a good chance to hang out with your brothers and celebrate.

How do you raise money?

It's like running a marathon; you get pledges . Each participant is required to pledge at least $25. And the other part of this is that we do a silent auction and a raffle, and participants are required to garner one item for that. We made a lot of money on the raffle and the silent auction.

There's also pretty impressive trophy involved-it's not like a little soccer trophy, it's more like a Miss America Pageant trophy.

Ann: It is a pageant of beards .

V: Yeah, it's like the Stanley Cup in a way, in that we drink out of it. But we wash it out each year. Who knows what kind of bodily fluids have been in it in the last year since Dain [Sandoval) has had it. And we add the names each year like the Stanley Cup too.

I heard the awesome news that Brandon Squyres is going to be one of the judges this year! Congratulations! Who are the other judges?

V: This guy over here (points to Dain), and Ann. It's always

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

SCENE REPORT

RAMBLINGS& MUSINGS

BY JESSICA VERARDI

the reigning King, the Chief Facial Officer, and a "celebrity" judge. In the past we've had bearded brethren from around here fill that role.

Did you have a backup celebrity in case Brandon declined? What about Ann Schwab?

V: She'd probably recuse herself because she has a vested interest in beards.

*roll the laugh track* What are the judging criteria? How does judging work?

Ann: There are four categories: color, thickness, length, and one that varies-kind of a fun category. Then we rate each category 1-5 points and add them up.

What if there's a tie?

V: We would probably have a beard-off and have the audience decide? I don't know; what do you think, Ann? Ann: Maybe we can have a voting system this year? Something for a tie-breaker.

We've never had a tie before actually.

You're going into your fifth year! Who started this Novembeard thing and why?

V: Jason Wooten and I were hanging out at Duffy's talking about beards, and decided we should do a beard contest. We'd heard about that thing with the mustaches, where people grow mustaches for prostate cancer. We thought a beard competition would be great, but what's the point unless there's a charity involved? Well they [the man] were making all these cutbacks to arts and music programs and it hit the high school level here, and everywhere really, but we decided we'd channel the funds toward Chico & PV High School. We told North Valley Community Foundation, and they're the ones that make us a legit operation-they are the non-profit that we give

the money to. They divvy it up between the two high schools and the teachers who come forth and ask for stuff. And you know, the initial Magnificent Seven were all musicians or actors or carpenters; we just all related to the theatrical and the arts in some way.

And you have a party at the end!

V: Yes, there actually is a party. It keeps getting better every year. We usually have a couple of musical acts. We had Shimmies & Ham bones last year, and the lovely and talented Kelly Houston sang "There he is, Mr. Novembeard" to the winner. He wrote out his own lyrics to the Miss America song, it was beautiful.

I think it would be really cool if all the beardos came out like Miss America onstage at the beginning of the party and did some choreography.

V: Would you like to be our official choreographer... beardeographer? They could have a beard dance, they could twerk, it'd be viral and so beardy.

Ann : They do have a runway, they do go down and do a little twirl and have their little parade and get their bias read. Maybe we could get a group of girls together wearing fake beards and they could do the opening act. [laughs] When and where can everybody sign up?

V: 6 o'clock at Woodstocks on Friday, November 1st. Then we do check-ins on Mondays. The first checkpoint is on November 11th at Duffy's.

Check out the Chico Beard Collective's Facebook page (www.facebook.com/chicobeardcol/ective) for rules and regulations, and enjoy the camaraderie of your dogooding bearded brethren while growing out your "care" follicles!

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

What makes a fun Tuesday night? The City Council meeting, when the topic is homeless/vagrants/transients and downtown.

I cruised up the steps of the chamber, stepping ever so gently over a half-smoked joint so as not to disturb it, passed a group of unwashed people camping on the grass, and headed into the chamber. The line was out the door, so I forced my way in to the standing-room-only section. The entire council was present, save for Ann Schwab, who had invoked some public code regarding conflict of interest and her downtown business dealings. Thank you Mary Goloff for demanding to know what "conflict" allowed her not to participate in thesession.

An introduction was made by Mayor Scott Gruendel as to how the evening was to proceed with a general timeline. At this point I realized that the Mayor is not a very eloquent speaker, as I was distracted by the number of "uh, um, uh" noises coming out of his mouth. Essentially, he was going to split us into smaller focus groups based on concerns regarding enforcement or services. He then tried to count people off 1-2-3-4, instead of saying enforcement here, services here, and then dividing into smaller groups from there. I wandered off into the enforcement room and grabbed a chair to watch what would come of the focus group.

Sticky note time! Everyone grabbed a pack of Post-Its and wrote one thing regarding enforcement that they would like to see.

Most were grouped into major categories

such as having a fully funded police force, enforcing animal licensing, and enforcing laws and ordinances that already exist. At one point, our breakout group was chided

by Mary Goloff not to editorialize. What became clear to me-people are at the point where they are tired and frustrated with what is going on (hence the editorializing), people get angry when you write more than one idea on a Post-It, and a vocal (dare I say aggressive) gentleman who didn't introduce himself other than as a "downtown business owner" thinks a half-cent tax earmarked for police funding would help.

Then we were back in the main chamber.

The top five ideas from both services and enforcement groups were shared. Three topics seemed to stand out-the need for immediacy in doing something about the issue of transients and downtown, the need for a full police force, and enforcing the laws already on the books. Sean Morgan motioned to reintroduce a sit/lie ordinance for a third time, which will be addressed at the November 5th meeting. Talk from the other council members pointed to modifications to the existing draft, research from interns on sit/lie ordinances in other cities, and effectiveness of such an ordinance, if violators do not have funds with which to pay fines. The light bulb moment occurred in the crowd (before it happened within the council) that a sit/lie ordinance does not affect those who congregate on the grassy areas of the parks, or the lawn of the City Council building. We'll leave that for another night ...how about November 5th?

See you then.

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

9

DARKLY DIVINE COMEDY

BY JAYME WASHBURN

It's been a few years since I've seen local author Jim Lopez. I recently caught up with him since he returned to Chico, which he describes as "a great place to cool my head ." Jim is a portrait of contrasts-a former CSU adjunct professor, Harvard University (the Divinity School) graduate, and a traveler of note. His mild manner speaks little of the varied and interesting life he has led. One particular run-in with him years ago still amuses me: he and a friend were arriving home on a Sunday morning, bloody and ebullient after some kind of scuffle, when most people were just leaving their homes for coffee or church. Ten minutes later he was talking extensively about Dante and the Romantics, and their relevance to the Western Canon.

A writer's personal history is linked, in some way or another, to his or her writing. It's no different in Jim's case and he had this to say: "Often times there is no separation between art and life, and that is why art lends itself as a truer form of spirituality than organized religion ." He grew up in Los Angeles barrios, and his family life was chaotic. By the age of thirteen he was fully immersed in a life of drugs and alcohol.

He was expelled from the eighth grade, remanded to SODA Homes (Status Offender Diversion Alternatives) in South Central L.A., dropped out of high school in the eleventh grade, got clean, graduated, and made his way to Cambridge where he earned a Master's degree.

He brings to mind another author and Harvard Divinity graduate, Chris Hedges, who also writes about life at its heaviest and darkest. How do these soft-spoken men, divinity scholars, vacillate so wildly between heaven and hell? It can make a mind reel with the contrast of darkness and light. Jim's writings are reminiscent of Henry Miller and are prone to explicit obscenity and curious mysticism. Like Miller, he has a restless lust for travel, and a refreshing lack of selfimportance, inspiring moments with ineffable charm.

I'm not going to lie; Jim's interviews are more amiable than his fiction. He waxes on the lost art of conversation, and cites ancient poets and philosophers, both while revealing his troubled youth. His writing, on the other hand, foams at the mouth with assaulting will and charge. His stories are alternatingly filthy and beautiful, funny and tragic. I didn't expect to find myself cracking up as much as I did. I fully expect to be entertained when reading fiction, but am infinitely more grateful when I am surprised.

Tell me about the project that you are finishing up?

I'm working on a collection of poems and a short essay on Surrealism titled , Maudlin Ballads: An Elegy Regarding the Death of Surrealism . In graduate school I gravitated toward

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OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

the Surrealist writers and poets, but I am not a poet. There are so many " poets" today, who are merely versifiers. The word "poet" is derived from the Greek word poiesis. If one is imbued with poiesis, one's work brings forth that which is wonderful and leads to transformation . Most poets don't offer anything inspiring, nor do they say anything that leads to transformation. One might argue that poets are born, not developed.

Maudlin Ballads is my gratitude for the Surrealists. Each poem is illustrated; some by me and others by Stephan Maich.

Have you always known that you wanted to write? When did you decide you wanted to be a writer?

In 1997 I decided not to pursue my Ph .D., and decided I was going to write fiction . I had no idea how to be a writer, so I had to start over. I knew I had a gift for telling stories, but I had to learn how to create characters in a way that would make people want to turn the page .

I was kind of surprised by how funny your writing is.

My humor has always hinged on the absurd and obscene.

My friends, who came from stable families, enjoyed hearing my tragic stories told with a straight face. The comedic value of this can be limitless.

Comedy is important to me, especially in my writing.

Writing requires more from the audience than any other art form, so it has to be entertaining, funny, and moving on many levels. Humor is essential and I love tragic comedy.

Traveling seems to be a central theme for you personally, and in your writing.

Mobility is everything. Not being able to move or experience new things is a mental and emotional hell. If I only relied on money, I never would have gone anywhere. I felt trapped in the neighborhood I grew up in. Everyone was poor. There were few opportunities other than joining the military or learning a trade. When I was eleven I started exploring Los Angeles at large. This lead to a desire to see more of the United States, so I just kept going and didn't worry about money or how. I've traversed the entire U.S. nineteen times so far. All that was required was curiosity, will, a little hard work, a belief in one's ability to negotiate through scarcity, faith, and courage. My writing has a tendency to reflect these themes, which develop character.

Good writing is just that, courageous-and like magic, it has the ability to suspend a mind from its own grip and temporarily make us forget everything we think we know.

I hope that Jim cools his head for a while in Chico. It's nice to know that someone who appreciates the lost art of conversation could be having coffee somewhere down the street, available to make you laugh with one of his wildly entertaining stories.

Jim Lopez' collection of short stories, Abstracts of an American Pageant, can be purchased at http://jimlopez. org. His book can also be found on Amazon . He is also the creator and editor of ANTIQUE CHILDREN: A Mischievous Literary Arts Journal (www.antiquechildren.com), which generously spreads the work of other authors and artists.

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OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

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PeuJ Live Music on Wednesdays Wed - Sat I 5pm-8pm Corner of 2nd & Wall Across from GRANA 530 . 898.9898

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

13

THIS WEEK ONLY BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT MONDAY, OCTOBER 2STH KILL DEV IL HILL LOSTON MAIN

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31 5 T ROGU E TH EATRE Pherson PRESENTS THE W EIR SOUTHSIDE PLAYHOUSE

Featuring Rex Brown from Pantera & Vinny Appice from Dia/Black Sabbath.

Joined by Eyes Set To Kill, Death Rattle, Black Water Rising, Sherman's Ashes, and Them Wreckin ' Boys. $15 presale, $18 at the door. Starts at 7pm

THURSDAY, OCTOBER 31 5T GRAND GUIGNOL OPENIN G NIGHT BLUE ROOM THEATRE Kick off your bar crawl with a beer and some live gore and nudity. An evening of horror, comedy, and sex in the traditional French Grand Guignol fashion, who wouldn 't love that? $10. 7:30pm

If you' re not into the whole downtown scene on Halloween night, this is the perfect alternative. The last show Rogue Theatre presented , August, Osage County, completely blew me away. Go to there. $10, available only at the door. 7:30pm

SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 2N掳 路 TED xCHICO:

TEDXC h I c 0

x =independently organized TED event

COMMUNITY

CO MMUNITY UNBOUND SIERRA NEVADA BIG ROOM Speakers include John Carlon, Nandi Crosby, Kate Transchel, Mark Roberts, Doug Kirkpatrick, and Angelo Poli. Music by the amazing Ma Muse. $50 includes all activities and lunch. llam-5pm

AND FURTHERMORE, THESE EXCITING THINGS 28 MONDAY Cafe Flo: Hot House Jazz. 7-9pm

29 TUESDAY Lost On Main: For The Love Of Frank feat. Ike Willis. 9pm

Don Beaman. 7-lOpm

Wolf, Giants In Disguise. Paint your

LaSalle's: Nightmare On Broadway

Chico City Council Chambers and

face for a special gift. $5. 8pm

Street. DJ Mack Morris & DJ EmVee. 9pm

City Plaza: The Chico Great Debate.

Harlen Adams Theatre: Fall Choral

Chico State students and community advocates bring the issues surrounding mental health into a forum for public discourse. 9am-8pm

Stands," songs written from poetry

Lost On Main: The Bumptet, Wake Of

30 WEDNESDAY

The Dead. Costume contest with $100 grand prize, plus other prizes given away all night. Admission is $10, or $5 with costume. 9pm

Cafe Flo: The Harmed Brothers, Sons

Holiday Inn Bar: Haunted Hotel annual

Of Jefferson, Low Flying Birds. All ages.

7pm

Halloween Costume Party. $25

LaSalle's: Nightmare On Broadway

1 FRIDAY

Street. DJ Trazz & DJ Babyface. 9pm

Monstro's: The Bloodtypes, Severance

Package, The Pushers. All ages. $5. 8pm Laxson Auditorium: Jack Hanna: Into

Concert " From Where The Sun Now about nature. Advanced tickets $15 general, $13 senior, $6 students/children, $2 more at the door. 7:30pm Lost On Main: 6th annual Harvest Ball

with Sofa King . $5 . 9pm

the Wild Live. Student/child $18, senior $26, adult $28, premium $33. 7:30pm

The Maltese: Malteazers Burlesque

Lost On Main: Halloween Hangover

Show. $3. Doors open 8pm, show 9pm

Sierra Nevada Big Room: Hot Buttered

ARC Pavillion: 60th annual ARC celebration featuring Los Caballitos de la Candon. International cuisine, bar, silent auction, music and dancing.

Tickets are $50, sold at ARC stores.

6-lOpm

Party. Vokab Kompany. Costume contest with prizes, theme is Dead Sexy. $8 cover, $5 with costume . 9pm

1078 Gallery: Ha' Penny Bridge, The

Rum . $20. 7:30pm

$5 you can dance away the spirits

Cafe Coda: Garrett Gray Band, Grand

Apologetics. $5. Doors 7:30pm, show

Lake Islands, Sir Francis Lee Howard .

8pm

with Los Caballitos de la Candon ,

8pm

6:30-8 :30pm

Laxson Auditorium: Van Cliburn

gold medal winning pianist Vadym Kholodenko . Student/child $15, senior $20, adult $22, premium $27. 7:30pm

31 THURSDAY Downtown Chico: Treat Street. Candy,

14

and children's costume contest . 2-5pm

OCTOBER 28 - NOV EMBER 3, 2013

Cafe Flo: Danny Cohen, Trinton Allen, &

2 SATURDAY

3 SUNDAY Chico Women's Club: Dia De Los

Muertos Celebration! Befriend death.

Workshop from 2-6pm, $15, then for

Cafe Coda: Furlough Fridays, Humble

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

ONGOING EVENTS 28 MONDAY The Bear: Bear-E-oke ! 9pm Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with the

Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm

30 WEDNESDAY

today and yesterday on the patio. 9pm

Turner Print Museum: Unsettled

Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy.

lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open Mic.

9pm-lam

Dreams: Monsters in Print. All ages. Free . llam-4pm

All ages. 7pm

Southside Playhouse: Rogue Theatre

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

The Bear: Trike Races . Wint-shirts and

2 SATURDAY

DownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams,

Bear Bucks. Post time lOpm . Mug Club

presents The Weir. $10, available only at the door. 7:30pm

signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until lOpm

4-lOpm

Turner Print Museum: Unsettled

Last Call Lounge: Karaoke. 8pm-12am

Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm, then Way Out West Country Showcase, featuring The Blue Merles. 7-9:30pm

Maltese: Open Mic Night. Music. Sign-

ups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11 :30pm Turner Print Museum: Unsettled

Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with the

Chico Women's Club: Afro Brazilian

Dance. 5:30-7pm

Dreams: Monsters in Print. All ages. Free. DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups llam-4pm 6pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

Duffy's: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff

Woodstock's: Spelling Bee for the

Howse. 9pm. $1.

Grownups. 6:30-7:30pm

The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing

29 TUESDAY

Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am

lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: lntermedi-

Maltese: Smashed Spelling Bee. 9pm

ate Bellydance Class with BellySutra. $8.

6-7pm

lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knitting Dreams: Monsters in Print. All ages. Free. Circle. 2_4pm llam-4pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Blue Room Theatre: Grand Guignol, an VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic performance evening of horror, comedy, and sex in with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No Cover. the traditional French Grand Guignol Woodstock's: Open Mic Night. fashion . $12 students/seniors, $15 gen.

1 FRIDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Writing

Group. 3:30-5pm The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris. 9pm-

7:30pm Cal Skate: Adults only skate night. $6.

18+.9-llpm Chico Theatre Company: Young Franken-

close. $2, $10 VIP.

stein. Adults $20, kids $12. 7:30pm

The Bear: DJ Dancing No Cover. 9pm

Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Danc-

Blue Room Theatre: Grand Guignol, an

ing w/DJ Hot Rod. 10pm-1:30am

IT'S A BOUNTIFUL FALL HARVEST AT

SICILIAN CAFEI

The Tackle Box: Swing Dance Wednesday, evening of horror, comedy, and sex in the

DownLo: 9 Ball tournament . Signups traditional French Grand Guignol fashion. noon, starts at lpm.

Cafe Flo: Open Mic Singer-Songwriter Turner Print Museum: Unsettled $12 students/seniors, $15 gen. 7:30pm The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm Dreams: Monsters in Print. All ages. Free. Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and Chico Women's Club: Afro Carribean llam-4pm Bogg. llam 80s music. The Molly Gunn's Revival!

Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm.

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:308pm-midnight VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana. 7-9pm showcase. 7-lOpm 8:30pm LaSalle's: 1980Now! 8pm Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Chico Theatre Company: Young Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke .

Scotty's Landing: Music Showcase. Open Frankenstein . Adults $20, kids $12. + Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table.

21 Starts at 8pm 7:30pm Mic hosted by Rich & Kendall. 5-9pm DownLo: Game night. All ages until Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays, the Southside Playhouse: Rogue Theatre lOpm best country, rock, oldies, 80s & top 40. presents The Weir. $10, available only at Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm the door. 7:30pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm and Friends. 6:30-8:30pm DownLo: Yz off pool. All ages until lOpm Cafe Flo: Blues Unplugged with Mark University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-lOpm Duffy's: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour. 4-7pm " Porkchop" Holder. 7-lOpm LaSalle's: '90s night. 21 + Chico Theatre Company: Young Franken- The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pmstein . Adults $20, kids $12. 7:30pm Chico Theatre Company: Young FrankenStudio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pmDownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every midnight. stein. Adults $20, kids $12. 2pm lam Maltese: Fabulous Friday LGBTQ+ Dance Thursday. 8-llpm. All ages until lOpm DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 9pm The Graduate: Free pool after lOpm Party. 9pm purchase. All ages until lOpm Turner Print Museum: Unsettled Peeking Chinese Restaurant: BassMint.

Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOpm. LaSalle's: Karaoke . 9pm Dreams: Monsters in Print. All ages. Free.

Weekly electronic dance party. $3.

Sign ups start at 6pm llam-4pm Maltese: Live Jazz, 4-7pm. Trivia, 8pm 9:30pm Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close.

The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Southside Playhouse: Rogue Theatre Panama's: Eclectic Nights. Buck night Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call at presents The Weir. $10, available only at and DJ Eclectic spinning favorites of 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm the door. 7:30pm

classes 7-9pm

31 THURSDAY

3 SUNDAY

CHICO'S BIG SECRET Best Drinks Best Prices

Best Patio Best Staff Best Karaoke Tuesdays at 9pm

2582 Esplanade • (530) 343- 0662

Best Live Bands

1020 MAIN STREET CHICO '••?) 530.3~5.2233 (G ...~

Saturdays at 9pm

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

15

ON THE TOWN

SPORTSBALL PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

BY DAN O'BRIEN - AMALGAMCONSULTING@GMAIL.COM

THE WEATHER REPORT

The NFL has hit the inevitable mid-season snags, where good teams demonstrate their playoff aspirations and bad teams sink to the bottom like the wreckage of a very old ship. There is something that has been bothering me for some time about American professional sports. It is the notion of "America's Team" in leagues that are populated by a predominance of teams that are, in fact, American teams by definition. Every time someone talks about the Cowboys being "America's Team" I want to yell at them. They are all American teams.

The National Football League is populated by teams located in major American metropolitan areas. The soapbox irritation goes for the idea of a world championship in leagues populated by teams that do not represent much more than a single continent. When we are talking about the World Cup, then we are bringing far more of the world into the conversation than we see in the NFL, NBA, or MLB. Rant over.

Now, moving on to mid-season picks : I think Cam Newton and Carolina make it over the .500 hump and push the Buccaneers to 0-7. While I did pick the

16

OC TO BER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

Giants to finally grab a win last week, I think Chip Kelly and the Eagles grab the win at home. Tony Romo and the Cowboys remain an enigma; I am always uncomfortable picking for or against them. That being said : Cowboys grab a win. New England looked terrible last week; Brady looked flustered and confused by a stifling Jets defense. I don't think that Miami has what it takes to make the Patriots lose back-to-back games. I am still unconvinced by the 49ers, but I think Gore and company will make easy work of the hapless Jaguars (sorry, Jacksonville fans). The Saints are for real.

Having their head coach back has made them a legitimate Super Bowl favorite, so I see them dominating this week.

Can the Chiefs remain undefeated?

The Browns are not as dynamic without Hoyer at the helm, so I will pick the Alex Smith-led squad to move to 8-0. The Bengals beat the Jets at home. The Raiders have to win another game at some point, and I think facing the Steelers at home offers a good opportunity. The Cardi nals and Denver take care of business on the road; the Packers and Sea hawks grab a win on the road.

SYN TH ESI SWEE KLY.COM

OLD CROCK

BY JAIM E O' NE ILL - JAIMEANDKARENONEILL@GMAIL.COM

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

ON THE TOWN

INTRODUCING THE OLD CROCK

Way back in the days when I was a 30-something, long before apps, when a pad was a place you slept, and a pod was something aliens placed in the room where you were sleeping in order to create soulless replicas of your slumbering self, I wrote a column called "The Old Crock" for a little paper up in Quincy. The paper was called The Green Mountain Gazette, and I was also its editor for a time. It was a desperately under-funded little weekly, pitted against an entrenched right-wing rag whose publisher had lots and lots of money.

Those of us on the Gazette staff were devoted to a range of good causes, and committed to the notion that "it is a newspaper's duty to print the truth and raise hell." We were a little ragtag bunch united in the ambition to do that very thing, and also, whenever possible, "to comfort the afflicted and afflict the comfortable."

In other words, we were idealists. We were also pretty young, which is why the title of my humor column was meant to disguise the fact that I was writing it. Under the "Old Crock" byline, I invented a character : a grizzled and rather loopy old mountain dweller with a distinctly cranky, peculiar, and fanciful take on things. I tried to make it funny, and I guess I succeeded because I soon managed to syndicate the column to a whole bunch of other mountain papers up in the Rockies, the Cascades, and elsewhere in the Sierras.

The mask and the anonymity provided by the Old Crock made it possible for me to slip into the local diner on Main Street on the morning the paper came out so I

could eavesdrop on people as they reacted to the column, or hear them chuckling over whatever it was I'd written that week. It was voyeurism for compulsive scribblers, a writer's wet dream, to see and hear the reaction his words are creating as those words are being consumed by readers.

I quit writing that column some three decades ago. Over the course of those intervening years, I morphed into a real old crock-a sometimes curmudgeonly dude with fewer and shorter hairs than the guy who had previously written under that moniker. And, though the U.S. has turned into a decidedly uglier place than it was all those years ago, I also managed to maintain my sense of humor.

Mostly.

So, after writing freelance pieces for the Synthesis for the last several months, I've decided I should re -name my weekly column in honor of the Old Crock I once was, and the old crock I've since become. Some of the pieces readers have found here were meant to be funny, and some weren't. That's likely to be the case from here on out, too, though readers should be forewarned that sometimes those columns will attempt to satirize current news or trends by exaggeration or make-believe. For instance, last week, in honor of National Nut Day, I wrote an "open letter to black folks from their friends at the Tea Party." Several readers took it to be an actual letter, written by the Tea Party to African-Americans. It wasn't. I wrote it myself, and my purpose was to ridicule the underlying racist attitudes that aren't difficult to find in any Tea Party gathering.

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OCTO BE R 28 - NOV EMB ER 3, 2013

17

ON THE TOWN

PHOTOS BY VINCE LANTHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

REVIEWS DOGFISH HEAD PUNKIN ALE BEER REVIEW BY J. GAMBRINUS October is the magical time of year when brewers from New England to Alaska release their pumpkin-themed beer. Far from being merely a seasonal gimmick, this glorious, golden gourd's roots as New World brewing ingredient date back to the colonial times when Europeans immigrants experimented with new ingredients searching for fermentable sugars. Like many Americans, I have no idea what a pumpkin tastes like, I just know that it's a great vehicle for nutmeg, cinnamon, and the rest of usual suspects found under the whipped cream and above the pie crust.

Most pumpkin beers follow this tried and true formula, and the Pun kin Ale from Delaware's Dogfish Head Craft Brewery is one of the most popular and most enjoyable examples of the style.

Punkin Ale takes its name from Delaware's well -known "Punkin Chunkin" contest where this beer recipe won a prize in the days when the brewery's founder was an amateur home brewer chasing a dream. A lightly sweet aroma containing nutmeg,

Seasonal Pumpkin Ale Alcohol By Volume : 7% Serving Size: 12oz bottle Purchased at Chico Natural Foods

cinnamon, and fleeting hints of pumpkin leads to a moderately carbonated ale with a satisfyingly body. On the tongue, the pumpkin pie spice combo is up front with fleeting hints of brown sugar and pumpkin in the background. Pairs great with a cool evening and a goofy costume.

BADY DADDY

NETFLIX REVIEW BY NEGIN RIAZI With all the flat screen TVs today having Wi -Fi and streaming capability, Netflix has spread to almost every home. The dilemma then comes down to figuring out what to watch. Need a good show to enjoy, but you really don't have time to sit around for an hour? Okay, no worries. I've got just the show-it's called Baby Daddy.

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OC TO BER 28 - NOV EMBE R 3, 2013

It's about three bachelors living in the city, having the time of their lives when ... barn! an ex-girlfriend leaves a baby on their doorstep. Thereupon begins the rollercoaster of their lives as they band together to try to raise a child. The show is a sitcom, which means the episodes last only twenty minutes-therefore it's a perfect choice to watch if you need a quick break.

as Bonnie Wheeler (Ben and Danny's loud, hilarious, overbearing mom), Tahj Mowry as Tucker Dobbs (the roommate who's territorial about his food), and Chelsea Kane as Riley Perrin (the childhood best friend with a crush on Ben). Oh and let's not forget baby Emma, played by twins Mila and Zoey Beske.

The cast makes the show unforgettable and keeps viewers laughing until their bellies hurt. There's Jean-Luc Bilodeau as Ben Wheeler (the baby's daddy), Derek Theler as Danny Wheeler (Ben's very tall, hockeyplaying older brother), Melissa Peterman

The show is quirky, hilarious, and displays the ups and downs of family and friendship. There's a constant development of character, and each episode has a plot developed to keep the audience laughing.

It's definitely worth checking out.

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PREVIEW

FRUITION: AN EMERGING PORTLAND ENSEMBLE

PHOTOS BY VINCE LANTHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

ON THE TOWN

BY JAIME O'NEILL

Kellen Asebroek has a voice, a guitar, and he's in a band called Fruition, a talented group of musicians from up Portland way.

He is 27 years old, and I met him at the High Sierra Music Festival last summer where his band was among a couple-dozen acts booked to play over that four-day event.

Kellen writes songs and he has things he wants to say-feelings and impressions and a young man's evolving insights. So the words well up in him, and he forges them into songs, and then hits the road to take those songs to people he hopes will hear them. He spends lots of time riding in vans, moving from gig to gig, sleeping on other people's couches, enduring the boredom of the road, all to feed the hunger to be heard-that soul craving all musicians know.

But telling one's tale is seldom easy. Up at the High Sierra Festival, Kellen 's band got scheduled to play in a time slot that put them up against Robert Plant, a rock n' roll giant who drew nearly every warm body to the Grandstand arena. So Robert Plant got to tell another chapter of his tale to seven or eight thousand music lovers, but far across the fairgrounds, a couple of football fields away, Fruition played for less than a hundred loyal fans, friends, and family.

"I'm a professional van rider," Kellen had told me during a brief interview after that appearance. "The van riding is the job part, the music is the fun part. We spend six or twelve hours on the road in order to get to play for an hour. That's the life."

Fruition is blessed with the extraordinary chops of the band's mandolin player, Mimi Naja. During a soundcheck before their High Sierra appearance, Ms. Naja put on a headturning display of mandolin magic. " I call her the Shredder," Kellen said, with obvious admiration.

"We really want people to hear our lyrics," Kellen said. "If I had to pigeonhole us as to genre, I'd place us somewhere between folk and soul. Gillian Welch and David Rawlings kind of set the bar for us. We try to create that stripped-down sound, that combination of honesty, frailty, and presence found whenever Rawlings and Welch are on stage."

Later, when I spoke by phone to Crissa Requate, who works for Mason Jar Media-a firm devoted to gaining attention for emerging musical acts-Ms. Requate was effusive about the band. Publicists are paid to be effusive, but it was easy to tell that her enthusiasm was genuine, not the empty hype writers sometimes get from publicists. The band put out a new album earlier this year (Just One of Them Nights). If they catch a break, you might find it hard to get into their shows a year from now. In the meantime, Fruition is coming to fruition , and you can catch the band on Monday, November 4 at the Sierra Nevada Big Room where they're opening for Greensky Bluegrass. They take the stage at 7:30pm.

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OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

19

THE ROSE HAS TEETH

PARENTAL

ADVISORY

PART Ill: GLORIOUS BEINGS

BY SAM KITCHEN

IKPllCIJ CONTINI Cologne, Germany, 1562 A.D. "Little Peter Griswold would surely never harm anyone... " The evening sky was dipping itself in the warm bath of twilight, visible beyond the glen through a break in the forest. A lanky boy of twelve, smudged from hours of solitary exploration, Peter Griswold thought he heard someone speak.

"Of course not. just look at those cheeks. Like rose petals floating atop a bucket of cream."

Now he was certain. People were speaking about him. His face grew hot.

He scanned the wide glen around him, searching for his taunters. But there was nowhere to hide. The mutilated rabbit he held in hand could barely conceal itself among the short grass and flowers.

The forest that stretched up and away from him on either side was the only place a practical joker could seek refuge.

As twilight advanced, shadows in the woods grew heavy and rolled along the ground like a dark fog. Surely, his spies were there.

"Did he raise a hand to strike his cousin Ursula when she laughed at his manhood? No he did not! He only wept. A gentle soul, he is ... " "But he thought about it! He dreamed of wringing her neck!"

"Where are you?" Peter yelled. His nostrils twitched.

"Yes, dream of it he did. Like he dreams face, as he did to that rabbit!"

ofskinning his mother's

Peter looked at the partially skinned rabbit he held in one hand, and the sharp stick in the other with which he had separated its flesh from muscle.

"He is no gentle soul. He's spineless, fit to be his father's whipping boy and hiding behind his mother's skirt! He hasn't the courage to strike!"

Peter threw the skinned rabbit to the ground and brought the sharp stick raining down into its body again and again with all his strength-each strike, a bolt of lightning, and each of his guttural roars, a clap of thunder.

He had no concept of how long he had been at it. All he knew was that when he stopped he was gasping for breath like a horse driven at full gallop from dawn to dusk. When he looked down at the rabbit, it was no longer the animal he had delighted in holding as he whispered his secrets, then sodomized to death, then skinned; it was now only muddy sludge, red gore mixed with earth, with a tuft of fur sticking to the mess here or there.

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OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

Peter lifted himself and began to stumble home. Above the treeline, the first pale glimmer of the full moon appeared.

"Hurry home, Peter Griswold! Wolves are about!" one of his taunters called at his back.

"7hey do to young boys as young boys do to rabbits!" cried the other.

Laughter followed him to the edge of the glen.

It was on this mild evening that Peter first encountered the voices. His hope was that they would stay in the glen and torment him no more.

of his mouth and ran down his chin.

Peter started awake as he heard scratching at the side of his house. Trees in the wind.

Remembering the blackened hand from his dream, Peter rubbed the stump of his wrist where his own left hand used to be, the hand his father had taken during drunken accusations of matrophilia; his mother cried and protested as his father separated hand from body with one angry swipe of the cleaver.

Hope never seemed to bear fruit for Peter. It wilted in his youth, replaced by something well within his grasp.

From that day on, Peter ceased to be known in town by the name of Griswold. The children and crueler adults of of Cologne and Bed burg had given him a new name: Peter Stubbe.

Rage.

Stumpy.

Bedburg, Germany, 1580 A.D.

The moonlight and wild wind stoked his passion. He scratched at his beard, dressed himself, then passed by the room where his daughter and young son shared a mattress stuffed with hay. Like cherubs, they were. They had the look of their dead mother, and Peter could think of nothing finer than eating their faces smothered in gravy.

Peter dreamed, deep and dark.

A narrow cobblestone road, glistening with rain under the moonlight, crowded on both sides by small houses. The dead were already filling the streets-here, in the gutter, there, piled on top of carts-their faces and hands black from plague. People stood over them, moaning in their grief, praying that they and the souls of their loved ones be delivered from all death, and all evil.

A hooded figure strolled slowly up the cobblestone road, approaching Peter, his boots caked in filth. A fog of sickness billowed from under his cape. As he passed, the fog touched the living, and every man, woman, and child fell instantly into death alongside the others.

The figure's face was in shadow, but his black eyes glistened as if by torchlight. He reached toward one of the dead from among the piles and plucked its hand away; the hand gave as easily as rotten fruit.

The figure drew near and at last removed his hood. A kindly old man stood before Peter, a man of most strange appearance the likes of which Peter had never seen. His hair was cropped close to his head. His skin was dark like tanned leather, and his eyes were of an uncommon shapelike streaks of blood when flung about in feverish passion.

The old man smiled warm-heartedly.

"You are ready to take life ... Are you willing to devour it?"

The old man clearly expected no reply, but paused all the same. "I have a gift for you."

At once, his warm smile grew into a wide mouth full of teeth like sabers. The hand he plucked from the dead he now stuffed into his mouth in its entirety. He chewed with delight as blood like black sludge trickled from the corners

The wind caught the front door as he went out of the house, slamming it against the side in a great thud. With effort, he closed it.

Just beyond, the forest stood dark and silent.

"Tonight the moon is full! I know you're about!" Peter called toward the woods.

He was answered by a chorus of laughs and snickers.

"Indeed we are, Peter," said one of the voices.

A shadow moved from one tree to another.

"Why do you taunt me from the shadows? You have followed me for a lifetime! Show yourselves, cowards!"

More malevolent giggling, this time louder.

"7he Master does not come like a dog when called!" Several pair oflarge eyes gleamed in the shadows, then lowered themselves behind bushes, and disappeared behind trees.

"Rather, the Master calls you. And he is waiting. just there ... " Peter noticed the faint amber glow of a lamplight emanating from his barn, visible through a crack in the door.

In the barn nothing was out of order. Peter saw that the lamplight came from the cellar door, a slab of wood in the ground that concealed the lower chamber. Peter was alarmed. This is where he kept his ... amusements.

As he lowered himself into the cellar, he was greeted by the sight of a man cast in silhouette against the light of

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

"If your name is Stubbe, then so is mine." The old man turned to face Peter, extending a handless left forearm much like his own.

The wrist where his hand had been was marked by dimpled scars. "We are not so different, you and I. Long ago, I chewed off my hand to escape captivity. My name is Norbu. I am what you wish to be."

Intense cries of carnal pleasure became low, deep purring sounds.

Then snarls. "Make him our own, Father. We want the girl!"

Norbu smiled . "They are overcome by the moon's pull. It seems your new brothers and sister could restrain themselves no more."

N orbu took the lamplight in hand and extended it toward the dark corner, illuminating the three.

the lamp, which hung from a nail on a nearby post. The figure's hair was cropped close to his head. He wore a long coat and riding boots . The man's back was to Peter, but he knew instantly that this was the strange old man from his dream.

In front of the man, bathed completely in amber light, was the village girl. She was blonde and made of undulating hills that now poured out of the top of her underclothes.

Sweet terror beaded and glistened on her skin by the light of the flame. Bound at the wrists by a rope suspended from an overhead beam, her legs were curled under as she huddled in a pile of hay. A second rope wrapped around her head, secured between her teeth like a bit. Eyes red and cheeks swollen, her muffled wails of horror grew more frantic at the sight of Peter.

Abruptly from behind Peter, two country gentlemen and a maiden descended the cellar steps. He had not seen them outside, nor in the barn. The gentlemen tipped their tattered hats and the maiden curtsied coyly; the three quickly retreated to a far corner of the cellar, where the lamplight barely reached.

The strange man's back was to Peter. "This girl is five days your captive . What will you do with her?"

"Do you mean to arrest me?" Peter asked, eyes wide.

From the shadows, the men and maiden laughed. He glanced back and saw that they began to remove each others' clothes.

"She will be bones and dust while your doubt holds fast," the old man said . "I know what you wish to do. I only ask what you will do."

Gentle coos coming from the dark corner became moans of passion. The captive village girl whimpered.

"Who are you?"

The light fell upon three beasts the color of night, fornicating in the corner of the cellar. Their flesh had the darkest hint of blue, reminding Peter of the wet moonlit cobblestones in his dream. Light colored hair shot out from them in tufts and surrounded their heads like an animal's mane; eyes of glistening black, their deadly teeth gnashed and lips curled in lust as they writhed amongst one another.

The captive girl screamed hysterically, then fainted.

"Werewolves!," Peter cried in shock.

Norbu laughed heartily. "You Germans and your wolves.

It is practically an obsession. In truth, there is no wolf in us at all. I embody a timeless power come forth in flesh, that waxes with the fullest expression of the moon. My children are spread across many lands. But yes, we are those glorious beings you call werewolves."

Norbu beckoned toward one of the beasts. It immediately obeyed. "Now, show Konrad the meat of your hand."

A simple strike of the teeth, a small letting of blood; the night thereafter was dizzying euphoria.

The captive girl in Peter's cellar, shared among the others, had merely whet his appetite. As the moon waned, Peter fell into deep melancholy that lasted the next month. He felt as if he was merely biding his time until he at last could sate his newly unleashed hungers.

Then ...

"Ursula ... " Alone on the road at day's end, feet swollen and sore, her enormous belly taut as she struggled to waddle the last steps beyond the wood to her home, Ursula was startled to hear her name spoken, seemingly from nowhere.

trees, sounded familiar.

"Do I know you, sir?" "]so loved you once."

"Peter Griswold? Cousin, is that you?" '']was spurned! " His voice grew louder. Ursula heard a quick shuffling amongst the dry leaves.

"We were children then. Peter, come to where I can see you."

"I'm afraid my appearance would be most startling to you. I do not wish to give you a fright while in your delicate maternal condition."

"Are you injured? Shall I help you?"

"Yes. I have had an accident."

Ursula's concern moved her feet into the wood, toward the voice of her cousin.

With the road nearly out of sight, she saw Peter sprawled at the base of a large tree.

"Peter! Your eyes are nearly black! Are you bleeding?"

In a flash she was on the ground, looking up into Peter's face. A passionate snarl overtook his lips. "It is only my heart that bleeds, dear cousin."

His only hand ripped through her dress and underclothes in one stroke, exposing her breasts and belly, then quickly clamped against her mouth in time to stifle a scream .

Through her terror, she heard Peter's bones begin to pop and grind as if he were being broken on the torturous wheel.

His body contorted grotesquely. His chest expanded greatly beneath his coat; his jaw went askew, seeming to break, then settled as it took on a larger proportion.

Peter looked at her breast, his eyes feasting. The sight of her flesh like milk, topped with the firmness of her budding pink nipple, was overwhelming.

Most of her scream disappeared into the iron clamp of his hand. She felt sharp teeth around her nipple, and hot blood pour over her flesh.

He raised up again with a grin that dripped deep red . To her sheer terror, he now caressed her swollen belly with the stump of his left hand.

"And what shall I do with this dainty morsel?" His evil grin widened.

Those who lived in homes near the road heard a strangled scream that quickly faded into silence. All of Bedburg heard the booming, triumphant howl that followed; a howl most unnatural, surely of no ordinary wolf, that echoed among the trees and nearby hills. Spines shivered and hair stood on end as it was joined by other howls, one by one, until the forests ofBedburg throbbed in its rich, deadly chorusbeneath the pale light of the full moon.

THE END

"]can see you so clearly, even in this dim shade. Delightful."

The voice, coming from amongst the darkness of the

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

21

s

H

OCTOBER 28 - NOVEMBER 3, 2013

BY KOZ MCKEV

ARIES

TAURUS

GEMINI

CANCER

LEO

VIRGO

This is no typical week. The

Sweetness after a struggle is

Get a new outfit that motivates

The question this week is " how

Get grounded this week.

Even amidst the confusion of

sun transiting your eighth

granted to you . This is your time

you to be a better worker. See

loving, playful, and creative can

Monday begins on a strong

Mercury you remain unshakable.

house means that change and

of sacred unions and marriages.

where health and diet are

you stand being?" Your heart

note with the moon in Leo.

In fact you are more attuned

transformation that is beyond

The new moon in your seventh

connected. You are working extra

is open. If you have children,

Your needs feel much easier to

to your local environment

your control is occurring. Death,

house over the weekend might

these days and will need some

they will be the focus of much

manifest. Your home life may

than usual. Working with your

birth, sex, and other people's

just change the way you look at

time to sleep and catch up. This

of your attention. Otherwise

feel a little less than functional

hands on various projects

property as well as mystery

love. Good relationships require

is a good time to get organized

you are dead set on having fun,

with Mercury going retrograde

becomes more soul satisfying.

studies are in your court.

good communication. Maturity

and to work on what is in front of

even when there are minefields

through your fourth house.

You are becoming an excellent

Spontaneous activities, accidents,

is about keeping it together and

you. Mercury retrograde brings

going off all around you. The

Pay attention to the needs of

communicator. Spontaneous

and shocks are not uncommon

working on the relationship

some organizational as well as

new moon solar eclipse helps

older family members. The

travel plans may evolve. Make

during such times as these.

even when things aren't easy.

health challenges. Your love life

you to appreciate the gifts you

new moon eclipse will bring

sure you're not just going for a

Throw Mercury retrograde and

Change and desire for a romantic

remains strong. You are good at

have. Refine whatever artistic

changes to your household as

ride. The new moon could bring

a new moon solar eclipse in

distraction might not be worth it

negotiating during this period.

talents you have. Be someone's

well as information regarding

siblings or old friends by for a

Scorpio and you' ll get to the root

in the long run . Be patient.

Thursday and Friday are best for

inspiration. Give and receive

your roots. Your creative ability

visit. You' ll weave better stories

creative work.

more hugs.

remains strong.

and sing better songs.

of what is slowing you down.

Give up on control!

LIBRA

SCORPIO

SAGITTARIUS

CAPRICORN

AQUARIUS

PISCES

Money issues often come up for

You're in charge now. You have

There is much for you to let go

Party time is here and you have

Rising up for you is most

Take heart and demonstrate great courage. Health issues will

you this time of year. What you

what so many others desire: a

of this week. Let the chips fall

friends in high places who just

worthwhile when you aren't

eat and the things you say will

mysterious and sometimes subtle

where they may. Pray for others

want to hang out with you.

supposed to do something. In

require a vision and a disciplined

carry more weight in general.

form of sexiness. You are willing

ratherthan submit to your

Tuesday and Wednesday are

short, you enjoy being a rebel

approach. You are extra gifted

Your appetite is stronger than

to climb the big mountain, yet

own undoing. Wish blessings

lucky days for you with the

leader. There's a chance you' ll

in the creative arts during this

usual. You feel like you need to

cautious of the consequences

on those who challenge you.

moon transiting your ninth

be wanting to get away for the

period. Practice generosity. Do

indulge in material and sensual

of carelessness. The new moon

On Monday you' ll still be

house. This is a good time for

weekend . Focusing on your

things that help you to feel more

pleasures. Your finances could

eclipse in Scorpio will help you

feeling high from the weekend .

future planning. Saturn, the sun,

career is a better idea. Thursday

love. The solar eclipse helps

change for the better this

overcome your disempowered

Thursday and Friday could be

Mercury, and the north node

and Friday are your luckiest days

you manifest playfulness, love

weekend with the new moon in

sense of impotence or lack. You

a party. It's best to lay low this

are in your eleventh house. You

this week. The weekend with the

affairs, an improved relationship

your second house. Your best

have so many friends who love

weekend. Do the inner work.

are ready to hang out with more

solar eclipse new moon puts you

with your father, and the kind of

days are Thursday and Friday

you and have your back. When

You are motivated to do your

desirable people. The new moon

in the public eye. Try to conform

expression that says things in a

when the moon will be in Libra.

something is hidden, you can

best work. Spend more time

eclipse gets thrown in with those

to what is expected of you. Once

bold and provocative way.

Avoid being swayed by others.

find it. You also can give a lot of

in bed and less time running

planets over the weekend. Be

you get the job, then you can

healing energy to others during

around.

ready to meet and greet.

practice blowing minds.

Don't buy things out of impulse.

this time.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY" Curtis Pe/do 10/28/68, John D!ftes 11/3/65, Sharon North 10/31/58 Koz McKev 1s on You Tube, on cable 11BCTV,1s heard on 901FM KZFR Chk:o, and also ava!lable by appOJntment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmk:kev@sunsetnet

GREAT AUTUMN READ Winter Melon, written by local writer Bill Wong Foey A defiant and passionate young woman survives the Rape of Nanking in this debut novel.

Voted Book of the Month for July by Lyons Books "Lives of Asia" book group.

FE I

In paperback online at Amazon.com and Lyons Book Store, 135 Main Street, or as an e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes and DirectMusicCafe.

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