Thursday, February 13 The Pimps of Joytime: Pimps & Players Ball Tickets On Sale now at Downlo
3 player teams. Sign up with bartender. Starts at 7PM
8-BALL
9-BALL
TOURNAMENT
TOURNAMENT
Sign-up 6PM Starts at 7PM
Sign-up at NOON Starts at lPM
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR AMY O LSO N AMY@SYNTHESIS NET
WHAT HAS BEEN, AND WHAT SHALL SURELY BE
ADIEU, NITE THEATER AQUEUM
BECKY
SAGERS Twenty years! Twenty years of this janky-ass rap group who somehow won our hearts, and cemented themselves as Chico Legends. They started in a time when we used words like "janky" and "rap group," and now look at them : they've had their own day declared by the mayor, earned a vicarious PhD, and taken over half an issue of the Synthesis.
There is a fifth dimension beyond that which is known to man. It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call The Blue Room.
PAGE 6
PAGE 18
The final wave of our Sci-Fi serial crashes onto your brain, along with my ability to make water puns in the table of contents. Will our hero ever break free of Aqueum and remember what he was thinking a minute ago? And what's to become of his dreamy companion? All will be revealed! Well, not all ; where's the fun in that?
PAGE 20
IMMACULATE INFECTION
OLD CROCK
PAGE 5
PAGE 17
EDIBLE BITS
SCENE REPORT
PAGE 6
PAGE 18
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
My Birthday is always on the Winter Solstice (Every year! Weird, right?), and being so close to the Gregorian calendar change-over, I treat it as my personal New Year 's Day. Especially because people have always given me joint Christmas/Birthday gifts, and I feel less ripped off if I think of it as a non-gift holiday to begin with. This is a time for summing up the changes in my life, making promises and predictions, and talking myself into the idea that aging is awesome and I love it. This year really was a big one. 35 was the year I opened up to my parents about all the weird secrets I'd been keeping, the year my mom got sick with cancer and died while I held her hand in mine, the year I reconnected with long lost brothers and cousins, the year my little brother got married, the year Dain dropped to one knee and asked me to spend my life with him, right next to the cat box in the hallway. 35 was the year I started working at the Synthesis, and became Managing Editor. 35 was the year I came to accept that I can 't do anything about that wrinkle between my eyebrows no matter how much I moisturize, and it's just the price I have to pay for the crimes of my Viking ancestors. I don't usually do a whole diet/weight loss resolution thing; not to brag, but I've got a pretty rockin' body (also I'm hella smart and good looking). I am, however, about to start doing a crazy hardcore strength training thing with Sarah Fragoso at her new gym, J&S Strength and Conditioning, because I think it would be awesome to start sharking people in arm wrestling contests. And while I'm at it, I' m going to have to get back into eating Paleo, because she' ll just KNOW. My real resolutions are more on the social end : I don't see enough of my friends now that I only-ever work, which means I get a little burnt out, so I want to get them to come over and research the calendar for me while I drink wine and absorb their life force. Here's to the year of 36 A.A. (Anno Amynni), and becoming a super buff energy vampire!
DECEMBER 23 - JAN UARY 5
3
PET OF THE WEEK ADOPT ME! This amazing girl is Sylvie. She is full of life, and happy to be free to run and play! If you have a ball, a hose, and hopefully, an inexpensive kiddie pool, Sylvie is ready for whatever you might have in mind ...
HAPPY HOLIDAYS FROM THE SYNTHESIS
2579 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 • (530) 343-7917 • buttehumane.org
ART BY DAVID PLANT
NOW HEAR THIS Synthesis Weekly Playlist
SYJo!t~2~s!~~
DE CEMBE R 15 - JA NUARY 5, 2014
AMY
KURTIS BLOW - "AJ SCRATCH"
DAIN
YULE LOGS - "CHRISTMAS FROM BERLIN"
TARA
PUBLISHER
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS
Kathy Barrett kathy@synmedia.net
Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Erica Koenig, Howl, Jaime O'Neill, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Dan O'Brien, Jackie Reardon, Negin Riazi, JD DiGiovanni, Jayme Washburn
MANAGING EDITOR Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net
STRAIGHT NO CHASER - "MR. GRINCH"
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net
KATYA
WOEM IS GREEN - "ARMY OF THEM"
COLIN
CITY AND COLOUR - "COMIN' HOME"
ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net calendar@synthesis.net
DESIGNERS Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez
M I KE
HOT SINCE 82 - "BIGGER THAN PRINCE"
graphics@synthesis.net
DELIVERIES
TANNER KYARY PAMYU PAMYU - "INVADER INVADER" KATHY LEON 4
OSCAR ISAAC - "HANG ME, OH HANG ME" GRIP GRAND - "CONSERVATION OF MATTER"
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
For 19 years The Synthesis' goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.
PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid Vincent Latham
NERD Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net
ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Karen Potter
OWNER Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net
Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis.
The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.
210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 - info@synthesis.net
SYNTHES I SWEE KLY.CO M
IMMACULATE INFECTION BY BOB HOWARD - MADBOB@MADBOB COM
FIERCE WIND AND STRANGER
The winds are strong and picking up on this morning of the eve of the winter solstice. The hawk lets out a shriek as she takes flight from the gnarled two hundred and fifty year old oak we call Josephine, and then she floats slowly against the wind's current, correcting course with minor adjustments of her fully spread wings. A red-headed buzzard zooms by in the opposite direction, free-falling with the wind, its wings slightly tucked to maintain a semblance of control. The winds always bring oddness, and as the three dogs and I near the end of our walk- a casual loop of the lower five acres - we discover a fourth, heretofore unknown dog in the front yard, leg raised and pissing on the decrepit wire fence. Now the walk starts all over again, and turns into a gallop as my three dogs chase this strange fourth dog back down into the nether reaches of the yard, all the way to the creek that dissects the property. I have to run after them, yelling instructions and cursing as they casually ignore me, focused instead on this new friend/foe/ stranger who has invaded their private sanctuary. I manage to get behind them and chase the herd back the other way. Bill seems friendly enough to the dog - a little standoffish; Kiki the battle ax has her brown hackles raised; and Archie the puppup, is just playing, of course, running faster than all of them and laughing the entire time.
stray dog's name - a black and white border collie mix - " Ike! Ike!" He sees her and is in something of a panic now, trying to figure out how to get out of the enclosure he so easily managed to get into. His first attempt sends him careening into an unseen section of fence, and the collision snaps a rotten fence post I hadn't known was rotten. Then he burrows under the fence through a furrow in the ground and is out, running down the street now, in the opposite direction of his owner's home. She apologizes to me about the fence and offers to help fix it, but it's nothing, the post was rotten to the core, a T-post will do the job. I'm wheezing and sweating, I can't remember the last time I ran so far and so fast, and we're not talking a marathon here, not even a 3K. I contemplate, not for the first time, the notion of regular exercise, and dismiss it again. It's too close to New Year's to be considering any drastic changes in lifestyle anywayresolutions are for amateurs. Ike is still out and about, cruising through another neighbor's yard. I just had to shoo him out of our yard again - the wind must be freaking him out and causing him to seek refuge. My own dogs are inside now, lolling about and probably discussing the morning's excitement in their own canine language. Trish is sleeping and I am worried and anxious about all the things in the world that might come to pass.
We get up to the front yard again and there's the neighbor woman, yelling the
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
DECE M BER 23 - JAN UARY 5
5
PffD
ARETROSPECTIVE WITH THE BECKY SAGERS
x I
6
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
It all started at Chico High School in the turbulent midnineties. Two unlikely lifelong rap fans : One tall with long hair and a beard, the other shorter and stouter. Little did they know, but in 1993 they would begin a twenty year journey together as partners in rhyme. This is the mostly true, semi embellished history of The Becky Sagers: Chico 's first rap group.
Becky Sager: The first time I heard the Sagers I went to Jeremiah 's house where you rapped over a mixed tape on his ghetto blaster. I will be honest, I didn 't think it was going to go far.
Jeremiah: My first exposure to rap was a birthday party in the fifth grade and we were listening to the Beastie Boys and Run DMC. I was into it.
Aye Jay: Marty James (who went on to form Scapegoat Wax and One Block Radius) was another rap friend of mine, and he had started making music, so I guess we thought, "Why not us too?"
Aye Jay: At my birthday party in 1986 I heard Kurtis Blow 's "AJ Scratch" and it blew my mind , starting a lifelong love of rap and my own ego that continues to this day. Jeremiah: We met through our mutual friend Jason, who we all called Hardcore. AJ had got Paris' new CD and we met up to listen to it together. Aye Jay: The guy I knew as "Jesus on a skateboard" liked rap music! We hit it off that day and he came over to my mobile home park to hang out soon after. It was a pretty janky living situation , but we bonded over listening to rap on tapes together. Rap was not mainstream popular like it is now, so it was a treat to meet someone who knew about groups like Gangstarr or the Afros. Jeremiah: I told my mom when she picked me up I never wanted to go there again. Aye Jay: We kept hanging out and eventually started hanging with Becky Sager, who was a six foot four party animal we went to school with. She could outdrink all of us. Going to her house on Monday nights to watch The Fresh Prince of Bel Air with her and her friend Heather became a daily ritual. We would watch Blossom also, after The Prince. Jeremiah: At some point we started joking that we would form a rap group and call it the Becky Sagers; that went on for months. It was decided I would be MC Heatha and AJ would be MC Shecky, which was Becky's nickname. Becky Sager: The first time you guys told me about the Becky Sagers. I was working at Accentricities and you stopped by to tell me about the band . I think you said something like "So we decided we are going to form a hip hop group" and I was like "That sounds great!" and then you were like "And we're calling it the Becky Sagers" and I think I said something like "Wow that's really weird , but cool. " Which is still how I feel , weird but cool. Aye Jay: A friend 's New Year's party was coming up, so we went to Tower, and our old friend David Steele gave us a bunch of promo cassingles. We used the karaoke feature on Jeremiah 's stereo to record our first album Sheck Your Head, named after the Beasties album, with handmade cover parody tape cover, to boot.
Jeremiah: While I don't think either of us realized it at the time, Marty's making music was an influence on us. He was the first person I knew who I saw rap , though he was way more professional. I think part of my brain saw Marty doing it and said "Hey, it's alright, we can rap. " Aye Jay: It really made rapping all that more do-able, having seen Marty. N2deep's "Back to the Hotel" was huge, and he was working with the guy who produced it, making song 's like "My Hair Is Playin ' Tricks On Me," a parody of a Geto Boys song . Marty James: They said they were named the Becky Sagers, and I was like, "You mean the really tall girl from school I call Manute (after professional basketball player Manute Bol)?" Aye Jay: I started volunteering at the Blue Room right out of high school , and that evolved into working music shows. In 1995 there was a benefit show coming up and a band had cancelled , so we volunteered to do that show too. Jeremiah: Adam Wakeling from Trench was the unsung hero. When we first started playing shows, we rapped over cassette instrumentals, and he would lend us his boombox to plug into the sound system even when he wasn 't there. Aye Jay: We started playing shows at The Blue Room and ended up part of an indie rock scene. At our first show the guy who filmed it cared so little for us he set the camera down wrong and filmed from the waist down . So we have all crotch footage of our first set. Deathstar joined us at the end for a jam . That was their
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
second show. Erik Morton (The Imps): The first time I saw them they were in suits rapping along to a boom box. I said, "what the fuck is this shit?" Then I wondered what it would be like to comment on it 20 years later. Aye Jay: We eventually started asking local musicians to back us up for shows and phased the tape deck out. Thank god . There were a lot of weird configurations of folks that had never played together and never would again . The Imps rhythm section, the Force 7 guys, and Jim and Ken from Deathstar were all usual suspects. Jim Rizzutto (Deathstar): We couldn 't get funky, so why would they ask the noise rock band to back them up? It was confusing , but we were there. The lack of funk was really striking. Sagers included. Marty James: I remember when they started rapping and playing shows. It was weird , but once they were out there I figured I should be playing out, too. We figured out pretty quick that our crowds didn't mix well. DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
7
Erik Imp: A highlight to me was [that) The Imps were the supposed Bad Boys. We played with bands like Hucksalt Headspeed, so we were daaangerous. Everyone was nice to us, but it could get cliquey.
'.i! City of Chico
PROCLAMATION WHEREAS:
WHEI<l3AS:
The Bccl<y Sagers AY..A - MC Hethablla ancl MC Shecl,love AKA -Aye Jay Mor ano and Jeremiah Wade have perforrnecl for tli_e Cbico con-i_n1unity since t li_eir first pcrfonnancc son1e 13 years ago, rapping over a cassette, lip synching and blowing up a stereo at a bachelor party; and The Becl<y Sagers have been a vital part of the Chico community and the n1usic scene lil~e no otlJ.er rap duo, perfecting the off beat-off beat style and using their sblls to help raise funds for nu1uerous non-profits and neecly lzids; and
\VfIEREAS:
The Bed<y Sagers have been a positive influence on all the youn g people of Cl1ico who would rather grow invisible afros tl1e11 be caught doing something janl<y; and
WHEREAS:
The Beclq Sagers have found t!1e perfect beats with DJ Goodburger - AKA Matt Loomis .
NOW THEREFORE, BE IT RESOLVED that I, Scott Gruendl, Mayor of tl1e City of Chico, do hereby proclaim September 27th as 'The Becky Sagers Band Day" and invite all citizens to witness tl1cir performance at Children's Par!<. Datccl: Sept ember 27, 2005
Scott Gruendl, Mayor
Becky Sager: I don 't th ink I heard them again until I came back from living in San Francisco. I went to a party and there was this huge crowd and I remember thinking "Well I guess I was wrong ! The Sagers rule!" Jeremiah: Once AJ fell off the stage at LaSalle 's at the Deathstar CD release party. He had drank too much and got all wrapped up in the mic cords. Next thing I knew he disappeared. Aye Jay: It was like a five foot drop! One day we were walking around downtown and on a whim went into the Synthesis office and asked Bill Fishkin if we could write an advice column . He said OK. We wrote one almost every week for almost two years . Jeremiah: It was weird and full of inside jokes. We wrote most of the advice letters ourselves.
Aye Jay: Some of Marty's friends heckled us pretty good. DNA (local promoter): I loved the Sagers from day one. The community that formed around them was tight knit and slightly (more) inebriated and manically creative. Many bands were lighthouses for the young thriving scene of the 90s, but the Sagers were the only band playing anything remotely in tune with the times ; a signpost of one of the biggest trends to emerge from that era. They were pioneers of a sound that hadn 't been heard in Northern California. Aye Jay: All these bands played a local festival together called "Superwinners" so that became the name of the band scene. This included Deathstar, the Imps, Land of the Wee Beasties, Uncle Roscoe , and Mid Fi. Later it became seen as an elitist thing , but in the beginning it was super inclusive. There were highlights and lowlights.
8
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
From the Becky Sagers advice column: The Sagers have finally rid ourselves of loser status, as of this week we are Superwinners. We did our part by providing starving indie rockers with Kung Fu ramen and our greatest contribution to the festival: a kissing booth where kisses from both of us could be had for 25 cents. The booth made 50 cents, providing us with one can of Safeway select soda, and one game of Pinbot at Juanitas. Aye Jay: Jeremiah is an amazing , hilarious writer. I was always amazed by his stuff. From the column: Heatha got the idea to enter the dragon and head downtown for Halloween. It only took moments to realize no matter how funktafied one is, there is no stopping a whole town intent on being wack. The whole sigma wick-wack forces had united in a cross dressing mass of keystone light-drinking, taco bell grande-eating mass of gnarlyheads attempting to
redefine disgusting. Their female counterparts were dressed like hoes of all types : vampire hoes, victorian hoes, Cinderella hoes, and just plain old hoe-y hoes. More hoes than the Kmart garden shop.
Aye Jay: There was one article he wrote that was an interview a fictitious group called P4deep who had a song about roll ing around Vallejo with Zsa Zsa Gabor, in Kit from the TV show Knight Rider, eating chicken and hitting switches. It was great stuff. Article : Pedro glued a bunch of condoms on the turntables, so we were trying to put a positive message out there, cause all djs should practice safe scratching. They should wear a condom on each finger so they don 't leave prints on the vinyl, cause you know cutting and scratching ain 't as safe as it used to be. Jeremiah: The one thing about those years is we only played two rap shows, and both were terrible. There was literally no market for rap shows here. We had no idea we were Chico 's first rap group playing shows. Rollo 's Kitchen and ... Aye Jay: We played a show with the Marginal Prophets from SF. And there was no one there. It was us, the door man and the bartender. They were not happy. After a few years of playing , a few deejay's moved to town and we got to meet Bad Rok, DJ Oh , and a dreadlocked Weavervillian who went by DJ Mantis but also drew posters under the name Matt Loomis. We struck up a friendship , but his forays into jungle music and his raver girlfriend made him the butt of the occasional joke. Little did we know he was the horse to bet on . Jeremiah: We played some "big " shows around that time , opening up for Digital Underground, Hieroglyphics, etc. We never went over well. Frat boys were yelling , "you suck!" while we were playing . But we just turned that into a song 's chorus. Aye Jay: We realized pretty quick that we were not going to make fans of traditional rap people. We were too weird , and not good enough that the music trumped our Lenny-and-Squiggy type personal appearances. We always were more confrontational with the crowd than we should have been . Around this time betweensong banter became an important part of our live show. Stand up-hop. Jeremiah : Come for the raps, stay for the banter. Erik Imp: I liked the banter 'cause it gave me time to figure out what to play next. They told me to be occasionally funky. Matt Loomis: I knew AyeJay's art from his posters and we all met up and had a few beers and listened to music. That's where we first heard the Sacred Hoop tape , a group that we ended up bringing to town quite a bit. Bad Rok kind of took Oh and I under his
SYNTHES I SWEE KLY. COM
wing and we all started hanging out. He was already a professional DJ who competed and knew all the turntabilist guys. Jeremiah: Eventually some of our friends started rapping , and they formed Six Feet Deep. That was actually the name of a DJ crew first, and the rappers took the name over. That was Fay, G Pek and Thug E Fresh. Aye Jay: Faydog was my best friend growing up. Our dads had moved to Chico together and formed Spark and Cinder. In 1999 we started rapping and became the best right away. but man was he dirty. I was allowed all the gangsta rap I wanted growing up but his tapes got taken away. And through that repression , he became the filthy rapper.
We started putting on a few rap shows. Sacred Hoop, Z Man , Live Human-all the local scratch DJs would play-and we would get someone to back us up using instros from 12" records. Bad Rok was first but he was way more professional (by that I mean better) than we were. He linked up with local funk band Force 7, and kinda stopped playing with us. Loomis kind of got added to the mix without anyone telling him so. Jeremiah: Faydog , who I knew as AyeJay's best friend , came back from Alaska with a bunch of raps and asked me to record him . The recordings turned out OK, but he eventually re-recorded it all with Thug E. I had no idea what I was doing , I just had a janky mic and a four track I had bought at the pawn shop. Aye Jay: There was a few years of playing as kind of a loose collective called Gurp City, but the Bay Area guys came more and more and the scene kinda became their thing . We kinda got phased out, but that also had a lot to do with friendships dissolving too , there was some falling outs over nothing . People started to take it more serious and we were not that way at all , so it didn 't really fit anymore to play shows together. Faydog: The Sagers started it all , and then Gurp City kind of came in and took it over. Jeremiah: Somewhere along that time Matt became a full member of the group, but we still didn 't pay him . Aye Jay: In the group you get paid in street cred for the first three years . Matt: It was kind of osmosis I guess. I played shows on and off for a couple of years , then Jeremiah kind of mentioned it as an aside : "Well , you 're a Becky Sager now." I honestly didn't feel like I was in the group until Dylan Hillerman (local poster artist) drew me into a flyer, and that was 2005! That's when DNA got the mayor to proclaim "Becky Sagers Day in the city of Chico DNA: I wasn 't being ironic when I asked the mayor to commemorate the Sagers with their own day. They
deserved it then and still do. Jeremiah: That was a total surprise. Handsome Gorgeous came up and made a kingly proclamation in a kingly accent. Aye Jay: I thought it was a joke until I saw the actual embossed certificate from the Mayor's office. So weird . Matt: And then there was the name change ... Jeremiah: Becky Sager became a scholar! She ended up getting her doctorate, so we did what was most natural: changed the name of the group to reflect her new title. Aye Jay: There 's no point in her working so hard to become a Dr. for us not to use the name for ourselves! She's just lucky we never went through with the legal proceedings over the rights to her name.
(formerly of Das Racist) to play, and he said yes. It's going to be insane. Matt: I think we should play forever, the older we get the funnier it gets. We 'll hit our peak at age 60. And play one show a year. Jeremiah: Three shows a year, maximum. We 'll be the Fallon of Chico rap . Aye Jay: Even though the group has never been a priority or something taken super seriously, it's amazing to look back at how much fun we have had, the amazing people we have played music and shows with , and to even be in the conversation about a pretty great time in Chico music. It's a total good un'. Becky Sager: I still feel the same way I did twenty years ago, 'That's pretty weird , but totally awesome."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Matt: We were going to take her to Small Claims court and force her to change her name. Max G Arnold wouldn't take our case , though . Aye Jay: At this point we were at about our ten year anniversary, so I asked Doug at Duffy's if we could put on a show the day after Xmas and set out to start reuniting old Chico bands. Deathstar and The Imps played the first one. It went over really well and they started letting us do it every year. Faydog has played every one also. Doug Roberts (Duffy's): Twenty years? That's crazy, amazing , and a little bit scary. Jeremiah: We called it "Chico Legends" as a joke, but it stuck. It was good enough a name for some other local promoters to use without asking , so it couldn 't have been too bad. Aye Jay: We have had a who 's who of local legends play the show over the years . This year I had the chance to ask one of my favorite rappers , Kool A.O .
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
DUFFY'S
TAVERN THURSDAY
J.2/26/J.3 7, 9pm, 21+ flyer by aye jay!
DECEMBER 23 - JAN UARY 5
9
EDIBLE BITS BY JACKIE REARDON - EDIBLEBITS@YAHOO COM
CRUSHING IT, LUCERO STYLE Did you know that the most awarded olive oil producer is just a short drive away in Corning? Lucero Olive Oil has been awarded over 200 (200!) awards for their olive oil, and it is a title that they have worked very hard to attain. The Lucero family has been growing olives for three generations; they began bottling and labeling their product in a garage in 2005. The family company has grown and expanded tremendously since then, with a beautiful tasting room and bottling/shipping/pressing warehouse just off 1-5 in Corning. Not only do they make delicious olive oils and balsamic vinegars, they also put on one heck of a shindig. Last weekend, they held their third annual Winter Crush event. There were local food artisans sampling and selling their goodies, a tour of the crushing process (complete with hairnets for all the
10
D ECEM B ER 23 - JAN UARY 5
visitors. I rocked that thing.), live music, a microbrew garden where they offered samples of several different breweries, and a couple food booths. Kinders was there and I enjoyed a smoky, tender pulled pork sandwich on a soft white roll from their booth. Bruciante was also representing from Redding, and we ordered the rosemary chicken pizza from their wood-fired oven. While I enjoyed the flavor of Lucero's rosemary olive oil and the blistered crust, the pizza as a whole was pretty standard. The sauce was a tad sweeter than I like and the black olives didn't seem quite suited for the pizza.
First off, I enjoyed the Reason For the Season, a coffee cream stout from Wildcard Brewing in Redding. I have been meaning to pop into the tasting room when I am in Redding visiting my folks, and after sipping this delicious brew, I know I will make it happen the next time I'm in town. Next up was the Jamaica Red Ale from Mad River Brewing. It is a slightly bitter red ale with a nice hop bite and it poured out a lovely mahogany color. Lastly, I sipped a crisp, very lightly sweet, hopped apple cider from Square Mile Cider Company from Portland, OR. It was refreshing and I could have happily consumed a pint or two.
My favorite part of the event, as always, was the microbrew garden. I was a little pressed for time so I wasn't able to swig away all afternoon like I would have preferred, but I was able to try a few samples that were pretty damn delightful.
I look forward to the next event held at Lucero and I suggest you keep an eye out for it, as well. These events are free, family-friendly and they are a great way to get to know your local food producers.
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
High Performance Detail Cleaners Residential and Commercial Cleaning Services! • Apartment
• Business
• Home
• Warehouse
• Office
• and more!
Cost Effective, Customer Friendly Cleaning Service Fees FREE estimates with walk- through site inspection (530)77 4-117 5 http://supercleanpros.webs.com
"We clean to YOUR specifications!"
Cabana Cafe is available for your holiday parties, call Kelli today at 343-5678 ext. 124
I
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
I
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
11
Closed.
Closed
We need to drink, too!
MON
TUE
Come see our beautiful
NEW YEARS EVE
Patio! Happy Hour 4-6:
Celebration!!!
• •
1
4
FREE FOUNTAIN DRINK :WITH ANY MEAL PURCHAH : 4
SUN
Mon-Fri 2-6PM $1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
$2.50 Dom & Sierra
PBR $2.2S Everyday!
$2 Kami Shooters
Daily Happy Hour
$6.50 Pulled pork sand w/ fries or salad 25 cent wings from
1/2 OFF POOL Pool League, 3 player teams. Sign up with bartender. Starts 7PM.
halftime 'til they're gone!
3-6PM v$3.SO Dbl Wells 6PM-close $8 Dom Pitcher $9 SN Pitcher
All ages until lOPM
FREE Pool after lOPM
NEW YEARS EVE 8 BALL BASH
Chicken Strip Sand only $6.50 before 6 PM
HAPPY NEW YEAR FROM BELLA'S
Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE BEER $3/4/5/6 $1 SHOTS
DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm $1 Beer $1 Wells $2 Doubles FREE Pool after lOPM
PBR $2.25 Everyday!
We'll close at 5pm on Christmas Eve! Closed for the Holidays!
WED
FRI SAT
from 4-7PM
Nevada Drafts
Closed for the Holidays!
THU
Mon-Fri happy hour 11-2PM
CLOSED FOR THE
Daily Happy Hour
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
Reuben Sand w/ fries or
HOLIDAYS!
from 4-7PM
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
Full Bar in Back Room
$2 Kami Shooters
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!
1/2 OFF POOL
salad $6.SO Spm-Close 1/2 off kids items 8pm-Close Pitcher
PBR $2.25 Everyday! 8 Ball Tournament Sign-up
6PM. Starts 7PM.
11-2PM $2.50 Dom
Daily Happy Hour
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
Patio! Happy Hour 4-6:
& Sierra Nevada Drafts
from 4-7PM
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
Menu cocktails $1 off.
3-6PM
PBR $2.25 Everyday!
$2 Kami Shooters
Sierra Nevada Draft $3
$3.50 Dbl Wells 8-close $3 Soccer Moms $5 Smirnoff Blasters
Come see our beautiful
Closed
1/2 OFF POOL
Bartender Specials
11-2PM
Pop's Pizza wood-fired
$3 14oz Slushies
$2.50 Dom &
pizza's made to order on
$4 20oz Slushies
Sierra Nevada Drafts 3-6PM $3.50 Dbl Wells 8-Close
the patio. Happy Hour from 4-6.
Baby Back Ribs $10.99 Philly Cheesesteak $7.50 6pm-Close $4 Grad teas $3 All beer pints
JAZZ NIGHT- Martini
FREE Pool after lOPM
Specials
All ages until lOPM
$5 DBL Roaring Vodka Food Truck Friday:
Specials $6/$9/$12 FREE Pool after lOPM Closed Christmas Day! NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
Fries or Salad & Garlic
Full Bar in Back Room
$2 Kami Shooters
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!
PBR $2.25 Everyday!
Bread $8.99 8pm-Close $4 Jager
1/2 OFF POOL All ages until lOPM
$2.50 Dom & SN Drafts
$5 DBL Vodka Red Bull $6 Jager Red Bull $2 Kamikaze shots
FREE Pool after lOPM We open at 12:00pm.
Bartender Specials
Open at llAM !
Daily Happy Hour
Kentucky Bucks are $5
$3 14oz Slushies
from 4-7PM
until 5pm!
$4 20oz Slushies
Bloody Mary Bar Noon-6PM $8 Dom Pitcher $9 SN Pitcher
Bartenders Choice
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!
9 Ball Tournament.
PBR $2.25 Everyday!
Sign-up at noon. Starts
Fries & garlic bread $10.99 8pm-Close $4 Single/$6 Double
lPM.
Jack or Captain
All ages until lOPM
FREE Pool after lOPM
FREE POOL 1 hr. with every $8 purchase All ages until lOPM
$5.19 Grad/Garden/ Turkey Burger w/fries or salad Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call,
Full Bar in Back Room
8PM-Close
$6.50 DBL calls
10AM-2PM
WHENEVER OAKLAND PLAYS: DARK AND STORMYS FOR $5 WHEVEVER THE NIN ER'S
with entree $4.50 Bloody Mary
PLAY: FRISCO SOURS FOR$5
$5.50 Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys
$5 Bottles of Champagne
Baby Back Ribs w/Salad,
$2 Sierra Nevada
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
PBR $2.25 Everyday!
$5 Top, $6 Goose Mimosas $2/flute, $5/pint $6 Beer Pitchers FREE Pool after lOPM
HUIT PRHENT THI! COUPON. EXPIRE\ 11/llM L
•
.J
WEDNESDAY 10PM OPEN BAH lOPH
885
EKDAVI. 8
lAH WEEKEND\
rd Avenue,
ico
ACROU FROM aFEWAV. ON NORD BULLDOGTAQERIA.COH
12
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
DANCE NIGHT DJS: JEFF HOWSE I LOIS I BIG E
THE PERFECT HOLIDAY GIFT
DUFFY'S HOODIES IPIJUDVER 6 ZIPUPJ +
SYNTHES I SWEE KLY. COM
J.OES cf ~) ~~tfr'.9 ~~!I
Lounge V1pu1tra
C HI CO C A
GoDownlo
BEAR-E-OKE
Happy Hour 11-6PM
select bottles & drafts BURGER MADNESS!
$2.75
Bear Burger with fries
or salad for $5.29.
MNF Specials Bucket of Beer Bacardi Cocktails Southern Comfort Skyy & Red Bull
llarn-lOpm.
EVERY DAY Happy Hour-4-7pm $1.7S Pints, $1.00 Shots, 1/2 off
all Single cocktails, $1.00 Food items
2 for 1 Burgers llam-Bpm Throughout the football game
Celebrate NEW YEAR'S EVE
NEW YEARS FUNK PARTY
with LaSall es !
BEAR WEAR! 1/2 off while wea ring
$2 All Day $2 Select Sierra Nevada or
Bear Wear. MUG CLUB 4-lOPM NEW YEAR'S EVE PARTY
Dom Drafts $2 Kamis -any flavor
Closed for the Holidays!
RING IN THE NEW YEAR!
$2 Marqis
CLOSED
$3 Cuervo Marqis
$2.50 Corona's & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM $1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $1.SO wells
Progressive Night! 8-lOPM $1 Sierra Pale
NEW YEARS EVE VIP PARTY!
Ale, Dom estics, Rolling Rock & well cocktails up lOPM-close 25C per
hour-close Mon-Sat free pool 6-BPM
Closed for the Holidays!
Closed for renovation
CLOSED FOR CHRISTMAS
All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3
OPEN NEW YEAR'S DAY!
All Day
Closed for the Holidays!
Closed for the Holidays!
Closed for the Holidays!
Go Downlo
$2.50 Pinnacle Cocktails $2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada Half Off Rockstar Cocktails
Closed for renovation Go Down Lo
$4 Glass of House Wine $3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle $1 off Call liquor and bottled beer
BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.29. llam-lOpm.
Happy Hour 11-6PM $2. 75 select bottles & drafts
$2.50 Fireball Shots $2.50 Pints of Sierra
Closed for renovation
LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR
Nevada $5.50 Double Pinnacle Vodka & Red Bull $3 Double Well Cocktails
Go Downlo
ONLY $4.99! Mon-Sat lOpm - lam.
LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR
Closed for renovation
BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY $4.99! Mon-Sat lOpm - lam.
Go Down Lo
HALF OFF EVERYTHING (Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors)
Closed for renovation Go Down Lo
BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.29. llam-lOpm.
Buck Night 9pm-Close $112oz Select Teas $3 20oz All Teas $1 Well Cocktails $2 Select Bottle Beers
Happy Hour- 4-7pm SO cent well drinks
$3 Hot Licks $4.50 Doubl e Bacardi 8-9PM $1 pale ale
9-lOpm $2 Kamis, $2 Fireball, $3 Cherry Blasters, $2 bottl e Beer lOpm-lam
and dam draft up 25C per hour until close Hot Drinks now available
$3 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials
Happy Hour- 4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-8pm Most food items and pitchers of beer are $5
Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9PM-Close $3 Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pale Pitchers Hot Drinks now available
Happy Hour 5-8PM $5 House Martinis $4 Glass of House Wine $3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle $1 off Call liquor and bottled beer
$4 Sex On The Beach $4 Sierra Nevada Knightro ON TAP $1 Jello Shots 7-lOPM $3 Rumpy, Jager and Fireball
$3 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials
Happy Hour- 4-7pm Hot dog menu all day 11am-8pm, All Day and All Night Tall cans of beer (24oz) $3.50, $2 Capri sun Shots, All Teas $3.50, Tea Party 9-llpm 32oz Teas are $2.SO
Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM
Happy Hour S-8PM
$1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $1.SO wells, Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts
$5 House Martinis $4 Glass of Hous e Wine $3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottl e $1 off Call liquor and bottl ed bee r
$4 World Famous Bloody Joe $5 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka
Brunch lOam - 2pm Football Specials
$216oz Wells
Half Off Rockstar Cocktails $2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada $3 Featured Shot of the Night
Happy Hour 5-8PM $5 House Martinis
Free Happy Hour Food 4PM until it's gone Happy Hour 11-6PM select wells, bottles and pints $2.7S
Happy Hour- 4-7pm Champagne Brunch 930am-lpm, Every Nfl Game (20 Tv's), $3 Bloody marys, $3 screwdrivers, $5 pitchers of beer
9-Close Pal e Ale Drafts $9.75 Pale Pitchers Hot Drinks now available CLOSED
Happy Hour 5-8PM $5 House Martinis $4 Glass of Hous e Wine $3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle $1 off Call liquor and bottl ed beer
CLOSED
Champagne Brunch 10am-2pm Every Sunday with purchase of an entree
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
13
THIS WEEK ONLY BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT NEW YEAR'S EVE - TUESDAY, DECEMBER 31 5 T DJs TRAZZ& SEXUAL CHOCOLATE
THE MOTHER HIPS NICKI BLUHM AND THE GRAMBLERS
~---路 EL REY THEATRE
LASALLE'S
What can we possibly say about this that you don't already know? The Mother Hips are pretty much Chico in musical form, and Nicki Bluhm and the Gramblers are phenomenal. This show is so big they had to start it the night before. $48. Doors 8pm, show 9pm
Welcome 2014 with a glass of bubbly at the Champagne Wishes New Year's Eve Celebration. DJs Trazz and Sexual Chocolate spin hits of the 90s, Top 40, hip hop, and EDM. Seven bartenders will be pouring cocktails, and Jason Andrews will be taking pictures, so make sure you look good! Starts at 8pm
MOJO GREEN DOWN NORTH SOFA KING DJ SPENNY
NEW YEAR'S PROHIBITION PARTY THE MALTESE
LOST ON MAIN '
Celebrate the New Year like you're not supposed to! Dress up in your closest 1920s approximation, throw your inhibitions out the window, and party like it's 1929! Old-time hedonism starts at 9pm
Funk Bash Dance Party. Who doesn't love dancing to funk, soul and groove? Don't answer that, I don't care. People who like fun should go to this. Starts at 8pm
ALL THE OTHER EXCITING THINGS 23 MONDAY
28 SATURDAY
30 MONDAY
The Maltese: Bah-Humbug Karaoke and $100 Ugly Sweater Contest. 9pm
1078 Gallery: Fight Music record release. Fight Music, Teeph , Raw Nerves, Criminal Wave. $5. Doors 7:30pm, show 8pm
Cafe Flo: Opening of art exhibition: prints by artist David Plant.
26 THURSDAY Duffy's: Chico Legends 3013. Kool A.D . (formerly of Das Racist), Dr. Becky Sagers PhD, Faydog, DJ Ted Shred. $7. 9pm
27 FRIDAY The Tackle Box: Country music from Amanda Gray & Whiskey Savage. $3.
The Maltese: The Lolos, Bandmaster Ruckus. 9pm Manas Art Space: Lish Bills, Fera, Miles Wick, Alex Rather-Taylor. All ages. $5. 8pm The Tackle Box: Country music from Northern Heat. $3.
14
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
El Rey Theatre: The Mother Hips, w/ Nicki Bluhm and the Gramblers. $48. Doors 7pm, show 8pm
31TUESDAY The Downlo: Rock Mountain Tribe, Epik and nameless, Earth Shine, Biggs Roller, Stumblegum, Matt Mitchell. $5. 7pm
The Tackle Box: New Year's Eve party with All Fired Up. $5.
1 WEDNESDAY lOOth Monkey Books and Cafe: P.S.O., Badger, Criminal Wave, lcko Sicko, Blaster Dead. $5. All ages. 8pm
4 SATURDAY 1078 Gallery: Danny Cohen and the Near Death Experience, plus guests TBA. $5. Doors 7:30pm, show 8pm
SYNTHESIS WEEKLY. COM
ONGOING EVENTS _23~/~3~0_M~O_N_D_A_':f_ 1 WEDNESDAY
The Graduate: Free pool after lOpm
Maltese: LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm
Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOpm. Signups start at 6pm
Peeking Chinese Restaurant:
The Bear: Bear-E-oke ! 9pm
(CLOSED 2STH)
Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with
lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Open
the Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm (30th only)
Mic. All ages. 7pm
Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8-llpm
Avenue 9 Gallery: Lenn Goldmann :
LaSalle's: Thirsty Thursdays, featur-
Chico Women's Club: Prenatal Yoga .
5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until lOpm Maltese: Open Mic Night. Music.
Sign ups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstock's: Spelling Bee for the
Grownups. 6:30-7:30pm
24/31 TU ES DAY Cafe Flo: Open Mic Singer-Songwrit-
er Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm (31st only) Chico Women's Club: Yoga. 9-lOam .
Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm . Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:30-8:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request
Karaoke. 21+ DownLo: Game night. All ages until
lOpm Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shi-
New California Abstrcts. 12-Spm The Bear: Trike Races. Wint-shirts
Maltese: Karaoke . 9pm-close.
and Bear Bucks. Post time lOpm. Mug Club 4-lOpm
Panama's: Eclectic Nights. Buck
night and DJ Eclectic. 9pm
Cafe Flo: Carey Robinson Trio . 5-7pm
Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy.
Chico Women's Club: Afro Brazilian
9pm-lam
New California Abstrcts. 12-Spm
Dance. 5:30-7pm
University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm
DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups
VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic perfor-
Cal Skate: Adults only skate night. $6.
6pm
mance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No Cover.
18+.9-llpm
Woodstock's: Open Mic Night.
Dancing. 10pm-1:30am
Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writ-
27/3 FRIDAY
noon, starts at lpm .
ing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am
lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books:
Duffy's: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9pm . $1. The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm
Maltese: Friends With Vinyl!
Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-lam The Tackle Box: Swing Dance
Wednesday, classes 7-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana.
7-9pm Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy
Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons,
Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm
LaSalle's: '90s night. 21 + Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pm-
lam The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
ing Mack Morris
gemi and Friends. 6:30-8:30pm
7-lOpm
BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $3. 9:30pm
26/2 THURSDAY Avenue 9 Gallery: Lenn Goldmann :
Acoustic Music Singer Songwriter Showcase: Flying Blind. 7:30pm Avenue 9 Gallery: Lenn Goldmann :
New California Abstrcts. 12-Spm
Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and
8pm-midnight
Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30pm-lam
Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with
Scotty's Landing: Music Showcase. Open Mic hosted by Rich & Kendall. 5-9pm
Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music
showcase. 7-lOpm (3rd only)
SICILIAN CAFEI
80s music. The Molly Gunn's Revival!
Maltese: Live Music. 9pm
Bogg. llam
IT'S A BOUNTIFUL FALL HARVEST AT
The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm
The Bear: DJ Dancing No Cover. 9pm
University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
Chico Yoga Center: Friday Night
Dance Jam with Mark Johnson. $10. 7-8:30pm
29/5 SUNDAY
Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays.
DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until lOpm
Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm
Yz off pool. All ages until
lOpm Duffy's: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour.
Thursday. 8-llpm. All ages until lOpm
Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night
LaSalle's: 1980Now! 8pm
Cafe Flo: Blues Unplugged with Mark
at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm
Avenue 9 Gallery: Lenn Goldmann :
9pm-close. $2, $10 VIP
The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm
DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every
ting Circle. 2-4pm
The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris.
DownLo:
"Porkchop" Holder. 7-lOpm (2nd only)
lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knit-
DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups
New California Abstrcts. 12-Spm
Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call
28/4 SATURDAY
4-7pm
LaSalle's: Karaoke . 9pm Maltese: Walking Dead Viewing
Party. 9pm The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8pm
The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party.
8pm-midnight.
1020 MAIN STREET CHICO "'••?) 530.3~5.2233 (G••; FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
DECEMBER 23 - JA NU A RY 5
15
ON THE TOWN
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
OLD CROCK BY JAIME O'NEI LL - JAIMEANDKARENONEILL@GMAIL.COM
'TIS THE SEASON OF GOODWILL T'WARD MEN, MINUS ONE I began a recent weekday by checking my email. Usually, six or eight emails come in overnight, mostly pretty boring stuff, though there's sometimes a nice note from a friend, or a bit of news from a relative. But on this particular morning, there were 31 emails, most forwarded through an internet exchange used by this publication to filter incoming mail. The majority of emails came from a guy who dubbed himself "Pistoff Reader," a most devoted consumer of the words I write. After reading one of my pieces that "pist" him off, he went on to read every single word I've written since I began contributing to the Synthesis. Judging from his comments, it began to seem like maybe he didn't care for me all that much. For instance, responding to a piece published last summer, the acerbic critic wrote: "Sick. Sick. Sick. I won't be coming back to this website any more. "
Mr. Pistoff also didn't care for a humor piece I wrote about losing the World's Sexiest Man competition. He wrote: "Try out for "world's shittiest writer. You'll win that one."
But he did, responding to another column by writing: "A true piece of shit written by a true piece of shit."
A recent interview I did with musician, Roy Rogers, also failed to win his critical approval. He wrote: "BOOOOOOOOOOOORRRING!"
It must have been something I said.
My feelings might have been hurt by the severity of this judgment but for the fact that I'd been spared being slammed with the dreaded spelling of "boring" that comes with 13 or more uses of the letter 0, instead of 12, and four uses of the letter R, instead of Mr. Pistoff's lenient three.
But he hadn't had enough of me quite yet. In reaction to a piece on racism, Mr. Pistoff commented : "ANOTHER shitty article by this idiot. They just keep getting worse." I managed to top myself, however, because he responded to a piece about Rand Paul's plagiarism by observing: "HIS STORIES JUST GET WORSE AND WORSE!" I've attracted enough hate mail over years of writing to know things are getting serious when readers resort to all caps, and then top that off with exclamation marks. After reading the following week's piece, he added : "EVERY STORY I READ BY THIS GUY SUCKS WORSE THAN HIS LAST ONE!!!" The two additional exclamation points were surely meant to amplify his opinion. It's standard right wing debating strategy
16
DE CEMBER 23 - JA NU A RY 5
UMAD
BRO? to add exclamation points when seeking to bolster ideas.
His dislike of writing he devours so avidly extends even to the title of my column. Of that, he wrote: "Yes, a CROCK alright. Everything I've read from this guy is a crock. Crock of shit." And then, rounding off his extended exercise in literary criticism, Mr. Pistof added this bit of self examination, saying: "I SO hate myself for reading another one by this idiot." I knew if he kept at it, he'd arrive at a view I could share, and when he got to the place where he wasn't liking himself, in caps, I thought to myself, "Y'know, the guy's got a point."
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
ON THE TOWN
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
17
ON THE TOWN
PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
SCENE REPORT
LATE NITE REEMERGES FROM THE TWILIGHT ZONE BY STEPHANIE DITTY "You unlock this door with the key of imagination ... " - Rod Serling, speaking from the Twilight Zone. You've got nothing to do this weekend? You want to go out, but the bars just seem boring? Got eight bucks to spend but don't want to blow it on some crappy Tinseltown movie? Well, have I got something for you: Blue Room Late Nite is back in business! There's Twilight Zone episodes, there's sketch comedy, and there's off the wall entertainment that you won't find anywhere else. After a mysterious absence, Late Nite director Craig Blamer recently returned to the Blue Room with a special early evening double feature of classic episodes from The Twilight Zone: the existentialist Four Characters in Search of an Exit, and the Christmas classic Night of the Meek. These two episodes mixed seasoned actors with fresh meat making their stage debut. The craziest part was that this whole production was put together in only two weeks. "I've done it to myself a lot with Late Nite as well as Sketch Valley (now known as Paint Dry)!" laughs Late Nite veteran Samantha Deshler. "I guess I perform best under pressure even if I feel like I'm losing my hair. That, and I can get really burnt out on rehearsing for a show if it lasts more than three weeks. I get to the point where I'm not longer 'in' it and I am just doing it to get it done. So two weeks is perfect!" The fresh meat had no idea that this isn't the norm and the experienced actors are just a little crazy. The unpredictability is what makes these shows so intriguing. The thing that drives actors to work under such pressure is the stories they're enacting. Each one of the shows performed is fun to do as well as entertaining to the audience. "In this world of super-sized CG characters and Kardashian nightmares, SOMETHING has to remain sacred! says actor Erika Sorenson, returning to the Chico stage as the lost ballerina in Five Characters. The Twilight Zone is the little black dress of television shows."
18
DECEMBER 23 - J A NU A RY 5
The Twilight Zone may be an old series, but every episode is still relevant today. Night of the Meek is your typical underdog story. It's about a drunk that finds his true calling. "I've always been a sucker for redemption stories and I love how Henry discovers something about himself that most people couldn't see," offers actor Nick Anderson, filling the ratty red suit of an ersatz Santa Claus. "Anybody that pulls themselves out of an addiction or a seriously rough time in life to become even better people through tribulation is pretty awesome in my book." "Five Characters Looking for an Exit is very Sartre-esque. It's about figuring out your true self and where you belong. Five Characters has always been my favorite episode," says actor Garrett Miller. "It was the first story I remember where there is a twist that you wouldn't expect." The draw to Late Nite is that it's not your stereotypical kind of theater. It takes pop culture and makes it art on stage. It's something that both theatre enthusiasts as well as couch potatoes can enjoy. It takes something that is known or known about and puts a different spin on it. It's a draw to all audiences and helps more people appreciate live theatre. Luckily, interest in the science fiction genre is at an all time high, making a return to the fifty-year-old Twilight Zone ideal for a younger audience that has never experienced the show on TV. Taking an outlandish idea and making it seem almost possible opens up the imagination. It makes you feel like a kid again. Seeing a beloved show acted on stage brings about whole new perspective, makes it almost tangible. From the actor's perspective, Late Nite gives them something fun to do. It allows them to be creative and develop their character without the restrictions of traditional plays. With traditional theatre, the audience knows what to expect and has a preconceived idea of who the character is and how they behave. The Late Nite productions take shows and stories that may be known, but can make
SYNTHES I SWEE KLY.CO M
PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
a horror story a comedy. There are fewer restrictions and it's more about having fun and creating something enjoyable to watch. "I think anyone who works on Late Nite is a little bit insane," admits Dani Kay, master of light and sound for the series. "I think we all like to be around each other because there's almost another language about it. I got my first shot doing tech for a show because Craig took a chance on me and now, however many years later, I've met some of my best friends because I did tech for shows and they were in the show, or involved in some other way, and it's become this family that I could never have expected. So that's pretty fucking magical." Late Nite gives artists a way to work together outside of their norm. It allows musicians to be actors and actors to be singers. It lets people who have never attempted to act to try and to work with some of the best around. It lets those who have been acting forever do smaller, goofier parts. "Late Nite is different for everybody." says Miller. "It all depends on the individual. I think the only promise it can bring, is that you'll be happy that you went." And as Blamer frequently observes, when the cast is having a good time, the audience will, too. "The goal here is to continue to do Late Nite shows every month and bring more attention to theatre and to get more
ON THE TOWN
people in the community involved. There is so much amazing local talent that goes unrecognized because not many people know about the theatre that's going on. A lot of people seem to be turned off by theatre because they think it's going to be Shakespeare or a musical and have no idea that there is so much more out there. The thing is, Shakespeare himself was more in the spirit of the Late Nite than the snooty arty stuff he's commonly associated with. He was kind of the punk writer of his day, and that's totally in the spirit of the Late Nite. It's anarchy, man. Controlled anarchy, but still total DIV theatre. No money, no time, but buttloads of passion and enthusiasm!" Hopefully, by experiencing things like The Twilight Zone and other sketch comedy pieces, people will realize how much fun theatre can be. Next month there's a sketch comedy written by Nicole Collado and Annie Fischer. It might inspire some people to give acting a try, or even writing. Most of the comedy pieces are written by the people acting in them. Do yourself a favor and check it out. Besides ... "If they don't come to our shows," Dani warns ominously," I will hunt them down like they're animals and I will never stop.
FACE BOOK.COM/SYNTHES ISCH I CO â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHES I SWEE K LY.COM
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
19
WRITTEN BY
HOWL HOWLM 0VESM 0UNTAI NS. TUM BLR. COM ILLUSTRATED BY
LOGAN KRUIDENIER LOG AN KRU IDE NIER. TUM BLR. C0M
PART Ill
A star held in my hands. An entire world, radiating, pulsing aliveness through my palms. I smile as I offer it to the waterwoman. Without even looking at it, she swallows the sun whole. cry out in anguish; freezing salt water pours into the dream from all sides. I sink to the ground. I
\
\
\
\
\ \\ \ \
I
I
I,,.
..
.
â&#x20AC;˘
\
I do not float in these depths; I fall to the bottom, like a rock. My skin is hard, shaped by countless ages of external pressures. My limbs are gone. My mind is gone. One rock in a field of rocks, at the bottom of a nameless ocean.
I stood still, gazing at a rock on the ground, in a massive, empty hallway. The rock was about the size of a volleyball. "It reminds me of myself!" I thought. "I feel as if I sank down here, like a rock, embracing gravity wholeheartedly until I landed here: in this city-under-the-ocean." "The waterwoman, I wonder where she is ..." I continued to myself. "Hmm ... I wonder what her name is? God, I wonder what my name is?" A flicker, and a pull in my throat...a feeling, like a different kind of gravity. I could feel my friend calling to me, obviously from outside this room (empty as it was, but for me and some rocks). I was in a hallway of a palace. Three walls had roughhewn openings to other places, and the fourth wall had a mural, stretching wall-to-wall and floor-to-ceiling. The mural was the only remarkable feature of the huge, underwater room. Nothing was here but rocks, and small ocean-floor creatures living and dying amongst them. How the mural got here was as unfathomable a mystery as the palace itself, and this entire city. It's a city of dreamers, not builders, so how did all this get built? It felt as if the drug, Aqueum, came first, and waterhumans grew around it, and the city just grew around the waterhumans, forming natural rock structures over countless millennia-and yet, from communicating with the palace directly, it could just as easily have grown out of the rock yesterday. Our city-wide addiction to Aqueum made such a mess of memory that it was impossible to tell. Much simpler to just take the palaces, and the entire city, at face value. If
20
DECEMBER 23 - JA NUARY 5
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
you're down here, you're already too high on Aqueum to care much anyway. I stepped out and headed for the entrance of the palace, following the call of my waterwoman friend.
been probing and stroking the curves of the mural, leaped back as a large section of the wall pulled back and to the side, exposing a small room. Every side of it shone a metallic silver. It was the elevator.
Presently I was outside again, in the street, amongst other people and other creatures. Waterhumans, fish, a giant turtle that walked slowly past. I turned back to look at the palace I had just left: all domes and spires on the outside, in greens and yellows and blues. On the highest tower I could see her, waving to me. I reached and pulled, kicked and stroked, paddling my way up through the water until I could join her in her view of the city.
As the elevator traveled up its shaft, towards the surface, the seawater drained slowly out the bottom-until my face was in empty air, then my shoulders, then finally my whole body. I took huge breaths of air for the first time in ages, and I shook with joyous emotion and sensation. Water drained from my lungs, out through my mouth and all my other orifices.
Fish swam in schools. Waterhumans walked, or danced, or stood still. Stingrays swam by their heads. The view was breathtaking, and I held my friend's hand and gazed at our city for a few long moments. After a while, my waterwoman partner grew agitated and looked around us, and then in my pockets, searching for an Aqueum pipe. Just as I was about to brush her off in annoyance, a memory came drifting by, and it looked like a ribbon of a yellow-rose hue. It was quite beautiful and vivid to the taste. "And what's more," I thought, "I think I made this memory! There's a man, just like me, with pale skin, just like this!" I waved my hand to myself. "And he's walking into an empty elevator... why, it's more empty than anything! I don't think there's water in it at all!" A remarkable thought came to me then, regarding the smiling face of a certain old man, and I jumped right off the tower, swam back to the ground, and rushed back to the hallway with the mural. Back in the hallway, I stood, gazing with renewed interest at a beautiful mural I'd passed by at first, in favor of the rocks. "Now, I know I came out somehow, out of this wall. ..what do you think?" The last bit I addressed, aloud, to my friend-but she wasn't there. Furthermore, I couldn't feel her presence at all! Even when I reached with my mind as far as I could, I encountered only myself. .. and my thoughts ... a quite remarkable experience, I can assure you, after having lived in a drug-induced telepathic connection with thousands of others for who-knew-how-long. "You know, it must be that I haven't had Aqueum for hours. Being so close to that girl for so long, I didn't notice!" I said to myself. "And now I'm remembering so many strange things ... I know there was something here ... oh!" My hand, which had
As I waited for the elevator to reach the surface proper, I went through all I could remember of the city-under-the-ocean; all the experiences I'd had on that remarkable drug. "I don't remember much," I thought, "but her I do remember: that girl following me for the last few days. Still, I wonder what her name was? Down there, names are pretty useless, I suppose. But I'll give her one now: Moana !" And then I reached out, with friendship and love, towards her, even though I could no longer feel her. "Goodbye, Moana!" I exclaimed aloud. "I finally made it to the surface! I'll enjoy all the sunlight I can for you." The door to the elevator opened at last, and I stepped out into a city submerged completely in miraculous air. It was a city filled with throngs of people, and everyone clung tightly to their private thoughts and identities. Everyone had names here, myself included.
Moana came sharply back to the present moment, having dozed off atop the tower. Such warmth! The daydream she'd just had ... it was fading quickly, but she remembered enough. There was a surface, above this city, with more light than anyone here could imagine. "I'll get there," she whispered to herself (and she noted with some surprise the act of addressing her own person, as if she were separate), "I'll get there somehow, or I'll die trying!" She leapt off the tower and swam with passion until she reached the ground. When she touched down, Moan a no longer remembered herself, nor what she'd just decided to do. She wandered into her city-under-the-ocean in search of more Aqueum.
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO â&#x20AC;˘ SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
We pay cash for your recyclables!! CRY ALUMINUM CANS $2.00/Pound
E-WASTE! We pay 5¢ per pound for TV's, Computers, Monitors and Laptops!! And, as a courtesy to our customers, we'll accept all other consumer electronics, such as lax machines, printers, VHS players, etc. as a drop-off, with no payments* * Some restrictions may apply Call for more information on getting cash for other recyclable materials.
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5
21
5
H
DECEMBER 23 - JANUARY 5 BY KOZ MCKEV
ARIES
TAURUS
GEMINI
CANCER
LEO
VIRGO
There will be a feeling of wanting justice or fairness on Christmas Day. Unfortunately there will be quite a bit of tension that day as well. New Year's Day features a
Venus goes retrograde. You may not always get what you want. Take this as an opportunity to do things differently and to learn how to like it. Christmas involves work, service and perhaps some minor health issues. There may be a focus on uncles, aunts and small pets. Do things to reduce stress. Higher education and a higher philosophy are emphasized during the new moon. You are luckier than usual but you will need to explore areas outside of your comfort zone.
You'll need to work a little
True happiness comes from within. There is no need to put on a plastic smile. Relationships may take a strange twist and turn. Be an observer rather than a participant in drama. Christmas Day finds you extra sensitive so take care not to be a buzzkill while others are hoping to have a good time. New Year's will have its own set of surprises, yet it could offer some sweet romance. Look to the 4th and 5th for a more empathetic and emotionally satisfying situation.
Fear is not justified. Keep your health together and work at a steady pace. Show a little enthusiasm for the things that seem so difficult. Christmas day might be a good opportunity to take a walk around the neighborhood. Siblings and cousins will be the highlight. Work with your hands and get creative. New Year's Day
View the things and situations around you as a gift. Be aware that most of the folks around you aren't as observant as you. Christmas Day is mostly about your values. Try notto say too much. You know how easy it is for you to be a wet blanket. Give comfort when it's needed. You
new moon at 3:14am PST. Things will be different this year in oh so many ways. Don't expect the excitement to ever stop. Your family and living situation continue to go through deep transformation. Focus on career and public image. The 29th and 30th of December are your best days for conquering big tasks.
harder to get the things you want. This will also require some cooperation with others. Doing charitable works will buy you some favor. Overwork could affect your health adversely. Christmas Day should be heartopening and fun. You can help ease the anxieties of others. Any partying you do on New Year's Eve, you are seriously likely to pay for the next day. Helping others party safely is your best bet. This is not about you. It's time to grow up and give a little more.
will be more about work and potentially starting a new career. It could also be about health issues if you're not careful. You throw good parties. Perhaps you can work with others to throw a good party?
seem to be having more fun than usual. Your heart is open. New Year's Day and New Year's Eve parties seem stupid to you. In spite of all of this you will have a brilliant time and might even get lucky.
LIBRA
SCORPIO
SAGITTARIUS
CAPRICORN
AQUARIUS
PISCES
Christmas Day features the moon in Libra. I wonder what things are balanced and fair when it comes to Christmas? Venus is in retrograde and things seem a little more out of sorts than usual. Look to your own needs rather than the needs of others. Some might say that with Mars in your first house you are a little more selfish than usual. You need to be. Why not enjoy your uniqueness instead of trying to fit in. New Year's Day
Life has felt like a winter without Christmas as of late. You're likely to be searching deep for the spiritual implications of this holiday beyond St Nick and nativity scenes. The returning of the light should be joyous, yet we know that it is slow in coming. Thursday afternoon through most of Saturday the moon will be in Scorpio and you'll gain some
It's time for you to express
Happy Birthday! You rule this season. The best way to uplift yourself is to uplift others. Don't seek revenge or retribution, but be peaceful and compassionate in all your activities. You've been
Pay attention to your dreams. Helping those that are isolated in rest homes, prisons and hospitals will help you make good karma. Do unto others as you would have them do unto you . You' ll need a little more alone time. It's likely that you will
You'll be able to step down from
is probably going to be focused on family and personal issues.
needed personal strength. New Year's should be mostly about friends and doing things with your hands. Your theme is spiritual discipline in order to have the fun you desire.
your values. Much of the transformation that you've been going through has been internalized. Everyone goes through a little bit of frustration when things appear to be out of control. The Christmas holiday will be part of your social life. You'll be amongst some helpful friends that can take care of business. Sunday the 29th and Monday the 30th feature the moon in Sagittarius. Note that your influence is strong on these days. Your likely to make a resolution on New Year's to
put in a leadership position that will not soon go away. You need to clean things up and to get rid of evil. Christmas puts some weight on your shoulders. New Year's has more to do with you making some sort of commitment to yourself. Strange situations involving love and creativity are bound to show up. Have a sense of grace.
travel over the holidays. There is nothing wrong with staying home for New Year's. The moon will be in Aquarius on the 2nd and the 3rd. You' ll get a chance to look at things in a clearer light on those days. Be sure to give yourself plenty of rest as the stress levels can be rather high.
some of your responsibilities and be able to enjoy your friends a little more. Your creative works compliment the mood of the season. Christmas day other people are likely to want your help. Try not to get into too much debt. On New Year's Eve or even New Year's Day a party of sorts is in order. The moon will be in Pisces Saturday the 4th and Sunday the 5th. Flow with artistic purpose. Gather with others in such a way that you inspire a higher purpose.
spend less money or change your eating habits. Koz McKev 1s on You Tube, on cable 17 BCTV, 1s heard on 90/FM KZFR Chk:o, and also available by appOJi7tment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozm!C:kev@sunset.net
GREAT WINTER READ Winter Melon, written by local writer Bill Wong Foey A defiant and passionate young woman survives the Rape of Nanking in this debut novel. Voted Book of the Month for July by Lyons Books "Lives of Asia" book group. In paperback online at Amazon.com and Lyons Book Store, 135 Main Street, or as an e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes and DirectMusicCafe. ADVERTI S EMENT
22
DE CEMBER 25 - JA NU ARY 5, 201 3
SYNTHESIS WEEKLY. COM
ileaE fJra~ge~ "M?il:h
FFies
er
Sail,ad $5.29
IT BOGGLES
THE MINO t GllATIFIES THE SENSES
All OUfl
FOOP ITEM~I
MADl$ON(I) \\,, BEAR ··· GARDEN 0
.
•
0