For 19 years The Synthesis' goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community
awareness, opinions, and change.
PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett kathy@synmedia.net
MANAGING EDITOR Amy Ol son amy@synthesis.net
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net
ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net calendar@synthesis.net
DESIGNERS Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net
DELIVERIES Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Erica Koenig, Howl, Jaime O'Neill, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Dan O' Brien, Jackie Reardon, Negin Riazi, JD DiGiova nni, Jayme Washburn, Eli Schwartz
PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid Vincent Latham
GOING ROGUE COMPUTERLAND TIME CAPSULE IN A GREAT BRA
GET YOUR HEART WARMED
Joe Hilsee of the Rogue Theatre tells us about making people feel things, and the upcoming production of Venus In Fur at The Blue Room, starring Suzanne Papini and Jeremy Votava.
Do you like it when people rescue cats? Do you like good natured old ladies who used to dance the night away? Between these two features, you are bound to feel like you just read an Upworthy article.
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This is not parody, this is legitimately what computers were all about in 1994. Be amazed along with original Synthesis writer Edog as he explains the wonders of AOL and e-mail. Those were the days.
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NERD Dain Sandoval dain@ synthesis. net
ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS
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Karen Potter
OWNER Bill Fishkin bill@ synthesis.net
The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Production s. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8
Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or use d in any other way, shape or form without
COMICAL RUMINATIONS
PAGE 5 PRODUCTIVITY WASTED
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IMMACULATE INFECTION
PAGE 7 OLD CROCK
PAGE 16
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CONSIDER THE PLATYPUS
PAGE 18 LIKE, LITERALLY
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the w ritten consent of Apartment 8 Production s.
One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosec uted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessa ril y the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis we lcomes, wa nts, and will even desperately beg for letters becau se we care what yo u think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters @sy nthesis. net. Plea se sign all of yo ur letters with your re al name, address and preferabl y a phone number. We may also edit yo ur submission for content and space.
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JAN UA RY 13 - JAN UA RY 19, 2014
3
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
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NOW HEAR THIS Sy nthesis Weekl y Pla y list TAN N ER THE BINS - "HOLD ON" AMY
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GERRY RAFFERTY - "RIGHT DOWN THE LINE"
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KATYA
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FLYING LOTUS - "ZODIAC SHIT"
JAN UARY 13 - JAN UARY 19, 2014
I am completely exhausted, in the most literally depleted sense of the word. I finally started my strength training class, and as it turns out I'm the most out of shape person there. I'm not the oldest, or the largest, but God help me I'm the weakest and the slowest. If there were lions in there for some reason, they would pick me off in a heartbeat. I'm trying really hard though, which means my body feels like I got trampled by a large elephant while I was in the process of lifting a smaller elephant. John and Sarah Fragoso (check them out onjsstrength.com) are the nicest people on the planet, and they kept asking me if I wanted to take it easy, but I have this rid iculous mechanism in my brain that forces me to say I'm fine whenever people ask. And then I feel guilty for not being honest, on top of forcing myself through physical suffering to prove the lie that I'm fine. It's a vicious pattern of self sabotage that benefits no one. On top of that, I've volunteered myself to do all kinds of writing in this issue (and again next issue, and probably every issue forever because I'm totally fine). The plus side of that is that I got to talk to one of the most impressive mover-shakers in our local performing arts community, Joe Hilsee of The Rogue Theatre. His productions are always extremely evocative and provocative-two of my favorite ocativesand I was so pleased to be able to hear
more about his perspective on theatre. The Rogue partnering with the Blue Room is a pretty big deal, too. If you're not familiar with Chico theatre history, take my word for it : this is a development that brings a lot of happy to theatre fans. Another cool thing happened this week: after saying a sad goodbye to Edible Bits, we're welcoming two new columnists. I'm a jerk, and never welcomed Mona Treme, author of our bi-weekly column Consider The Platypus. She actually wrote her first piece for us a few issues back. But hey, it's like being at a party where you nod at someone across the room before you actually say hi and introduce them to your boyfriend (in this metaphor you are my boyfriend, sorry if you're married and this makes trouble for you at home). Anyway, welcome to Mona. We love her and you will too. We also have a new column I'm really excited about called Productivity Wasted by Eli Schwartz. He's all kinds of clever, and is going to bring us some fun insights into gamer and internet culture. I'd like to give one last shout to Ann Fox and the ladies of The Undead Beauties of Chico Calendar. Your tasteful side-boob has been making my January bright. If anyone wants to snag one of the last copies, they're available on line at pistolfireproductions.com, The Ultra Beautician (next to the Pageant), and Eye of Jade downtown.
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Cost Effect1ve, Customer Fr1end ly Clean1ng Servke Fees FREE est1mates wlth walk- through slte 1nspect1on An incident occurred today at work, and when I say "work" I'm not referring to my "job" at Synthesis. This may come as some surprise as you, dear reader, but I don't actually make enough money writing about cat farts and candy for Synthesis to bankroll my rock n roll lifestyle (see also: purchasing Costco brand sweatpants in bulk). To supplement my income, I work as a copywriter for a local clothing company. On my best days I like to think as myself as Elaine Benes in her J. Peterman days. Today was not one of my best days. Today I was more like Mr. Bean in a phlebotomy lab. Sometimes I have to pick up various things from downtown, or assist on outside photoshoots (see also: hold a collapsible reflector in the right spot for about twenty seconds then show the photographer how weak my arms are by dropping it a few inches every few seconds). Today I was charged with picking up some supplies from a local downtown art store. My boss gave me some cash, and I took the money from her. Folded it, put it in my back pocket, and walked a block to the store. I purchased the items needed, and when I pulled the money out to pay, I was $100 short. Masking my panic, I walked back to work, back up to the office and checked with her on the amount she'd given me. I was (unfortunately) justified in my panic. Somehow, in the short walk from her office to the store, I'd lost her
money. Now, because my boss is really sweet, and most likely (at least partly), the reincarnation of Tom Hanks, she's not making me pay back the money. (And hey, listen. I know Tom Hanks isn't dead. But I've had a rough day. So shut up).
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I almost wish she'd let me pay her back. I have a tendency to mentally punish myself for things like this for waaaaay longer than I probably should, but on the other hand, without doing so I'm closer to my Costco sweatpants goal : To have every dog (Bowie & Juno), person (me and my roommate Eli), and poodle figurine I own swaddled in Costco sweatpants by the end of 2014. Yes we can. And now, on to what I meant to actually write about this week: a politician in North Carolina chose to tender his resignation by submitting a letter written entirely in Klingon. What a nerdy genius. David Waddell (not the CSUC professor by the same name), stepped down from his position on the Indian Trail Town Council last week. I wish I could've been present when the office full of people dressed in business casual sat with furrowed brows, crowded around a long table and tried to figure out what it meant. I think if I wanted to quit my job in some strange fashion, I'd probably hire a lookalike to sit at my desk until they noticed it wasn't me, then only when really pressed she'd try to convince them that I was actually a time lord, and that's just what I looked like now.
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JANUARY 13 - JANUARY 19, 2014
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PRODUCTIVITY WASTED BY ELI SCHWARTZ
RISK IS HALF THE FUN
Constructing a game is hard. There are a million things to think about : accessibility, presentation, positive and negative feedback, storyline, immersion, and of course, the mechanics. Yet among the multitudes of concepts it's important to remember that the best way to surprise your player is to surprise yourself.
druid was delighted.
Like a domineering family patriarch armed with a map and an itinerary, I had been attempting to control the fun in a way that I believed completely maximized it. But those of us who have, at one point, been children (you know who you are) can recall memories of being entirely dissatisfied of when we had For instance, I have a player in my tabletop to play by someone else's rules. I remember playing hide and seek thinking, "This would RPG campaign who spends most of the be more fun if we could tag the person missions either asleep or drinking until he seeking." Giving your players a chance (and falls asleep. This is partly because he only plays to interact with his friends, and partly the challenge) to make their own fun, or at because he feels that his Druid is generally the least, their own mess, can create amazing useless. His primary contribution was to situations that test everyone involved. turn into a bird and fly around screeching And why stop at players of tabletop RPGs? until the other players yell at him to come Video game developers make sandbox games down. For a long time, the most animated so that people can release rabid cassowaries he ever got in -game was an argument with on their opponents (Far Cry 3) or build whole the Sorcerer over whether his spell was worlds and kingdoms where you can make "Resilient Sphere" or "Resilience Fear". and enforce your own rules (Minecraft). Video game design and development could go far This was until he got a spell that allowed him to convey sentience to plants. Stuck in with some controlled laissez-faire. Some of a malaise that would make Jimmy Carter the most devoted fans of more rigid classics speak disapprovingly, the druid used it like the Zelda series live for finding glitches, only because it lets them bypass the system. on the most inconvenient thing possible : A giant system of carnivorous vines. The Developers, Dungeon Masters, managers, vines, suddenly enlightened, offered to parents, and leaders of all kinds must often share the Ranger's corpse as soon as they ask themselves : Who am I doing this for? were done tearing it in half. What followed Sometimes giving your players a little freedom was one of the more bizarre persuade can create extraordinary situations, and that's checks I've ever had. Yet when the vines let often what we seek in terms of creativity and the ranger go, wrapped themselves around entertainment. And if that turns into terrible, the many skeletons of their victims and regrettable mistakes, they usually make for ambled away a giant, writhing army, the great stories or hilarious screenshots.
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JAN UARY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 20 14
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
IMMACULATE INFECTION BY BOB HOW ARD - MADBOB@MADBOB.COM
DISPOSABLE CULTURE AND WINTER GARDENING Trish and I drove up to Redding today. We went to pick up a truck load of leftover building supplies from a company that recently went out of business. The stuff we collected was what remained after the bank auctioned off everything of what I guess they thought of as "value." There was another couple up there loading a trailer with metal shelves and metal wings from large display units. They planned to take one load; then return with a larger truck and a crew to take everything left. This was nice, because anything that wasn't taken would simply be tossed into dumpsters and eventually shuttled off to and dumped in the ever-growing landfills. It is amazing what was going to be dumped; amazing what the bank considered "of no value." Their only interest, at this point, was to have the space cleaned and cleared so that they could quickly get it sold. I get this, numerically, but the fact that the mortgage or rent is so impressive that it dwarves the thousands of dollars of material being sacrificed for expediency make me agree with the guy who insists that the rent is too damn high.
Space is space, resources are resources. You need both, of course, but space isn't going anywhere, while resources are dwindling. An economy that allows, or really is based upon, resources being used briefly before being tossed into dumps, strikes me as a system that has a few bad formulas embedded in it somewhere. I should mention though that I am not an economist. Classic Crime
I've been plowing through Jim Thompson novels. Over the past couple weeks I've read The Kill Off, Savage Night, South of Heaven, and now I'm almost through The Alcoholics. Thompson is probably my favorite author; his stripped down, hard-boiled stories of crime and corruption take place in an environment of complete moral decay and ethical ambiguity. His characters are brainless brutes, oversexed hussies, dope fiends, hit men, and violent gangsters. His stories alternate between dark, harrowing and hopeless, too deeply disturbing and strangely humorous. I love his books, but honestly, I think four in a row is probably enough, maybe too many.
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Quinoa, the Winter Garden, Death or Glory
I sowed quinoa seed into a small area in the vegetable patch, and I'm planning on preparing and seeding a much larger area over the course of the next couple weeks. This is sort of an experiment. Quinoa originated in the Andes, in South America, and so prefers a high elevation, cold climate. Here in the United States it reportedly does really well in the mountains of Colorado. I planted quinoa last year in January and the plants matured in the late spring, before the high heat of summer could beat them down. The seed I am sowing this year came from last year's crop. I haven't eaten any of it yet. We have been harvesting lettuce, kale, mustard greens and big black Spanish radishes from the garden. The excavation and construction of the Death or Glory is moving up the priority list and I swear there is a window of time coming up here somewhere.
JA NUA RY 13 - JA NU A RY 19, 2014
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Out of all the great local theatre companies we have in our area, the one that I'm really excited about is Rogue. Last year they gave us incredibly moving and thought provoking renditions of August, Osage County, and 7he Weir, far surpassing my expectations for what local theatre was capable of being. They will be debuting their 2014 season with Venus In Fur at their original stomping grounds, The Blue Room Theatre, running January 16th through February 1st. The story of Rogue begins like any story, with a spark of inspiration and a powerful witch. But before that story could begin, there had to be a prologue wherein we are introduced to our hero, a young high school student named Joe Hilsee, and his quest to meet girls by getting into theatre. The alchemy that followed this fateful choice of electives would bring adventure, romance, reinvention, and some really effing amazing drama to our little college town. Behold, the tale of Joe Hilsee and The Rogue Theatre, in mostly his own words ... Was there any particular person or production you saw that inspired you?
Yeah there were a few! I had a wonderful teacher when I was in high school, Cleo Gambetta, and she was just great. She was quite an influence on me, showing me that theatre was something more than just a way to meet girls. You could express yourself, get quite a wonderful sense of accomplishment from it. I was in the Shakespeare Club,
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JANUARY 13 - JANUARY 19, 2014
and she took us to the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. Seeing that in high school was pretty amazing. I knew, then, that this was where I wanted to work; this was where I wanted to go. It took a long time ... that would've been in 1985. It took 15 years, I think, but by 2001 I was working there as an actor. I was like, "What do I have to do? I have to get a degree in theatre." I looked in the program, and I noticed most people had a Master of fine arts, so I was like, "I guess I gotta do that." The one school I saw represented more than any other was Southern Methodist University. I got a scholarship to go there, and from there I worked at the Utah Shakespeare Festival, and then was picked up by the Oregon Shakespeare Festival. So it all worked out, but {laughs} it's one of those thingsthere I was 25 or 26, and I was like "I've realized my life dream! ...What do I do now? I never really though past this moment ..." And so I kinda had to reasses. I realized this wasn't where I wanted to be and what I wanted to do for the next 40 years of my life. So, I was exploring writing a lot more, I was exploring directing and producing and things like that. And I kinda knew I wanted to go in that direction. I managed to meet this person when I was working in Portland, playing Guildenstern in Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead, And the casting director up there, who-I didn't know at the time, and she didn't know it
either-was some kind of powerful witch. I remember she had asked me out for lunch one day and said, "Well, Joe, what do you want to do?" And I said, "Well, I want to run a small black box theatre, in a college town, on the west coast. That's really where I really want to see myself!" It was right after that that the opening for an artistic director at The Blue Room came up, and so I applied for that. And I never thought I'd be back in Chico again-I mean I loved Chico and had always seen myselfliving in Chico, but I really didn't see how I could do that-and then this came up. So just six months after that conversation I found myself running a small black box theatre, in a college town, on the west coast. Unfortunately, I never said, "With lots of money," in that conversation {laughs}. I left that part out. But had I known she had these powers, I certainly would've added that as well. A lot of your actors were with you when you started at the Blue Room too, who are those people?
Well, Amber Miller. .. That's your wife, right?
Yes! {He thinks to himselfthat I'm a creepy stalker} Yes, we met in the theatre. Well, she was actually the first person that I met when I came to Chico, in fact. Coincidentally or ironically... however you want to look at it. Then there's Betty Burns, DeLisa Freistadt, and there were lots of other people who have since moved on ...
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
+ Idon't know how we did it, but we did! And it turned out really, really well. +
How does it feel to be back at the Blue Room? Is it deja vu, is it odd?
It's great, I love the space, I've always loved this theatre. It feels good coming back, actually. It's familiar. I like the people who are in here ... Martin Chavira is kinda running the show here right now, and he's an old Rogue member. He was a very influential part of the Rogue for years and years. What's your favorite production that you've done? I don't know! Well, the first production that I felt was like, "I wanna do this and here I'm doing it." was Hamlet on a
bare stage, and it went over really well... One of the most exciting plays we did here was Quills a few years ago ... I wanted to charge people and get them to sit up, and sit back, and cover their eyes, and turn them on all at the same time ... We did quite a few plays by Martin McDonaghbasically everything he wrote- we did four or five of his plays up here.
The first play we ever did as The Rogue was 1he Pillowman , which was another Martin McDonagh play... We had absolutely no money, at all. Everyone was just sorta emptying their own pockets to try to put this thing up for nothing. I don't know how we did it, but we did! And it turned out really, really well. A very challenging, difficult three hour production about this serial child killer. It was like "Who in their right mind is going to come see this!" But people came, and they loved it .. .it was one of those things where people were like "I can't believe I just was laughing all the way through this comedy about this guy who was a serial child murderer." But that's what Martin McDonagh does: he makes you laugh and then makes you say can you believe that you're laughing at this. But just showing that humanity isn't just "you do this then you do this." There are other aspects to being human that we can all identify with to a certain extent-not that we're all going to be serial child killers-but he finds those things like, "There's something in that guy that I identify with, and how tragic that it went that askew."... And that's the kind of thing I look for when I read scripts as a director and producer of theatre; those things that are VERY human, but because they are very human it means that there's a complexity to them. People say, "What's the story?" but it's just like, well. .. I don't know, it goes on but that's not really the point. It's what's happening between these people. Usually how people get messed up somehow. ... And I'm excited about the new play coming up! Please, talk about Venus in Fur! Again, it's one of those things, I can tell you the story in a sentence, but it doesn't sound that interesting. It's about what happens to these strangers over the course of the hour and a half (it's all in real time), from when this girl walks into this audition with this this guy, until what happens at
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the end. But it's dealing on so many different levels that as an audience member you never know exactly who these people are. Are they dealing in some sort of literary metaphor, or is this reality? And then they're dealing with this play within a play-they're rehearsing another play- so there are all these levels of "What is the reality of what's going on?"
There's the complexity in that, but also through that there's the themes that they deal with. There's a man and a woman, and they're dealing with a lot of gender themes. It's not a gender play though, there's no issues in the play. That's another thing that I just don't do, I stay away from issue plays. I don't like them, I call them the "letters to the editor plays ." You can't ever pinpoint, "Oh, it's about this!" That's one of my favorite things in the play, there's this part when they talk about, "Oh, the play's about this!", "No, it's not about anything. Some things might get discussed, but it's not about anything. It just IS itself, and you get out of it what you can." But anyway... It's about two people, it's very literate-the language is stunning-the complexity of the relationship goes everywhere. They start off as strangers and they end up ...who knows how they end up? But they go through everything in between, all over the entire gamut of human experience, it seems. And it's sexy. And Suzanne [Papini]'s wearing a bra and panties the entire time, [laughing] and fishnet stockings, and garters ... so you throw that on there, and you have a lot that the audience has to deal with . And here's this poor guy who's in this room with this woman who he's trying to have a professional relationship with, and she's in garters and panties, and, as it say in the script, "a fabulous bra." They have to deal with that kind of attraction throughout the entire play as well, and that may or may not be happening. Is she using that to her advantage, or is she not? Is he just sort of objectifying her, or is she using the fact that she's really sexy in order to get something. ls he using the fact that he's extremely intelligent? He's very handsome- well, it's Jeremy Votava, you know. He's this very handsome guy with a wonderful voice, who has written this very literate play, and is he using that to press his advantage on this other person? Is she using the assets that she has? She's very disarming and intelligent as well. Are they both using these assets that they have in order to gain some advantage over the other person at any time? And if they are, what are they trying to gain? And where are they trying to go with it? And those are the things that could be anywhere depending on where you're sitting as an audience member-what you're bringing into the play.. . I think it's one of those ones that everyone's going to come away from saying, "Oh yeah, that's what was going on'', "Oh really? I didn't see that ... " you know... I'm excited because of that. I can't wait to see it! I'm totally excited. Venus in Fur runs fan. 16th-Feb. 1st. D oors open at 7pm. 1hursday tickets are $10, Friday & Saturday tickets are $121 advance or $15 at the door. Advance tickets are available at blueroomtheatre.com & Lyon Books JANUARY 13 - JANUARY 19, 2014
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TIME CAPSULE
COMPUTER CENTRAL
BY EDOG, ORIGINALLY PUBLISHED IN WEEKLY SY NTHESIS (1994)
From Issue #2
So, I'm at a friend's house, not really doing much except to watch him use his computer. "Big deal," I thought. "It's not like I don't have a computer at home to play with." So I gleefully ignored the things he was doing. Up to a point ...
路路
"Hey, Edog," he said. "Come here and take a look at this. You can write about this for your article." I looked up and noticed that he had just logged into America On-Line [AOL), a service that allows you to connect to the Internet, and was showing me the "Chico Room." This columnist was quite surprised to learn about the "Chico Room." In this "room," I found out that I could learn much about Chico State without actually having to be there. Well, I shouldn't say I was surprised; more like astonished. I never realized just how big and informative AOL actually was. Maybe I should stop babbling and explain what the hell I'm talking about. After getting onto America On-Line, I had to click on the button that said "keyword." That allowed me to search for a specific item, namely Chico, which is what I typed in. A couple of seconds later, I got a few windows which showed a plethora of article titles relating to Chico State and the neighborhood. There was also a box which showed "Chico Newsgroups," groups of articles which pertain to Chico as a community. There were so many that I didn't get a chance to go through them all. Quite amazing, I would have to say. I found it to be very informative. Just knowing something like this exists for me to peruse is exciting for me. Of course, you shouldn't take my word for it. You'll have to try it for yourself. Last but not least, The Weekly Synthesis can be found on AOL, in the Chico Room. We can also receive your e-mails there. Our e-mail address is AptBProd@aol.com. Feel free to write to us expressing your thoughts. If you have any computer related questions, please don't hesitate to write me in care of this newspaper or on the internet: edog@ ecst.csuchico.edu [Editor's note: if you try to find us/contact us through our AOL chat room or the above AptB email address, you may need a time machine] From Issue #3
Are you hip to the newest way to send a message to someone? Have you heard the word on the streets? I'm talking about electronic mail. Mailing letters electronically has been around for over two decades, but just lately introduced to the general public. E-mail, as it is called, can get to a designated person faster
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JA NU A RY 13 - JA NU A RY 19, 2014
than your average "paper, stamp, and envelope" can. With an e-mail account, you can talk to just about anyone in the entire world! You look around, and hear many people talk about it. But what is it exactly? Without trying to be too technical, here is the gist of the e-mail thing: Computers that can send e-mail are hooked up to what is known as the "Internet," and this Internet consists of thousands of computers linked together through telephone lines and other types of cables. Let's say you write something at your home in Chico, and you send it off to a friend on the East Coast, say, Pennsylvania. It sends along the lines until it reaches its final destination point (your friend). Simple? Nothing could be simpler. "Write, send, receive." Here at the Chico State campus, accounts are given to all students. That means, if you're a student here, you can get an e-mail account here. Sounds exciting? Better believe it! Get into the '90s, get an e-mail account, and see the world in the comfort of your own home. From Issue #4
Are you a graphical user person? Do you need to see pictures in order to understand what you are doing? Then maybe Mosaic is for you. Mosaic allows you to have
Internet information at your fingertips (or, as the case may be, at the click of a button). I have found that the easiest way to figure something out is if there was a picture I could go to if I didn't understand. Mosaic is a program which allows the user (that's you) to access information brought to you onto a Windows based environment. If you want to know more about a particular topic or something, all you have to do is click it with your mouse. Here at Chico State University, Mosaic can display all the class schedules. With it, you can tell if there is an open class or if the class is full. By finding the right "links," it will also show current events in and around the school. Of course, there is more stuff to look through, but you get the general idea. Furthermore, there is no need for you to have an e-mail account to be able to access Mosaic. Look for Mosaic at any PC or Mac lab throughout the campus. P.S. Last time I neglected to mention how to obtain an e-mail account. For that, I apologize. You can get one by heading up to O'Connell 242. On the right side of the door, there is a box holding the application form you will need to get one. Just fill it out and turn it into the accounts manager who resides at O'Connell 242, and show him your school ID. In a matter of days, you'll be all set.
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FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
JANUARY 13 - JANUARY 19, 2014
11
Closed. We need to drink, too!
Closed
MON
FRI SAT SUN
Menu cockta ils $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3
JANUARY 13 - JANUARY 19, 2014
2 DOLLAR TUESDAY! Food & Drink spec ials! 11AM-2PM $2.50 SN &
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
$6.SO Pulled pork sand
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pin ts $2 Kami Shooters 1/2 OFF POOL Pool League, 3 player
fri es or salad 25 cent w ings from
teams. Sign up with bartend er. Starts 7PM. All
ages until lOPM
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
PBR $2.2S Everyd ay !
Dom Drafts
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints $2 Kami Shooters 1/2 OFF POOL
2-close $2.50 we lls & Dom
Drafts $3.50 Dbl We lls &
GAME NIGHT!
Kami shots
$1 PBR all night All ages unb l lOPM
w/
halftime 'til they're gone! MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE BEER $3/4/S/6 $1 SHOTS FREE Pool after lOPM
Chicken Strip Sand only $6.SO before 6 PM DOLLA R DAZ E 6-9pm $1 Bee r $1 We lls $2 Doubl es FREE Poo l after lOPM
WING WEDNESDAY!
Daily Happy Hour
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
Reu ben Sand w/ fries or
Patio! Happy Hour 4-6:
$2 for 3 Wings
from 4-7PM
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
Menu cocktails $1 off.
$2.SO SN Pint All Day
Full Bar in Back Room
$2 Kami Shooters
salad $6.50 Spm-Close 1/2 off kids items 8pm-Close Pitch e r
Closed
Sierra Nevada Draft $3
Weds, Fri 8PM-Close
& Sat Nights!
1/2 OFF POOL
PBR $2.2S Eve ryday !
$3.50 Fireball, Jim Bea m,
8 Ball Tournam ent Sign-up
Captain Morgan and
6PM. Starts 7PM.
Specials $6/$9/$12 FREE Pool after lOPM
Jameson Closed
11-2PM $2.50 Dom
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
Patio ! Happy Hour 4-6:
& Sierra Nevada Drafts
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
Menu coc ktails $ 1 off.
3-6PM
PBR $2.2S Everyday !
$2 Kami Shooters
Sierra Nevada Draft $3
$3.SO Dbl We lls
1/2 OFF POOL
6pm-Close $4 Grad teas
$3 Soccer Moms
JAZZ NIGHT- Martini
FREE Poo l after lOPM
$5 Smirnoff Bl asters
Specials
$5 DBL Roaring Vodka
All ages until lOPM
$3 All bee r pint s
8-close
Food Tru ck Friday:
Bartend er Specials
11-2PM
Pop's Pi zza wood-fired
$3 14oz Slushies
pizza 's mad e to order on
$4 20oz Slushies
$2.SO Dom & Sierra Nevada Drafts 3-6PM
the patio.
$3.SO Dbl Wells 8-Close $2.SO Dom & SN Drafts
Happy Hour from 4-6.
Baby Back Ribs $10.99 Philly Cheesesteak $7.SO
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
Mon-Fri 2-6PM
10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/
$1.50 PBR or Coors Pints
Fries or Salad & Garlic
Full Bar in Back Room
$2 Kami Shooters
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!
PBR $2.2S Everyday!
Bread $8.99 8pm-Close $4 Jage r
1/2 OFF POOL All ages unbl lOPM
$S DBL Vodka Red Bull $6 Jager Red Bull $2 Kamikaze shots FREE Pool after lOPM
We ope n at 12:00pm.
Bartend er Specials
Open at llAM !
Daily Happy Hour
Kentucky Bucks are $5
$3 14oz Slushies
Bloody Mary Bar
from 4-7PM
until 5pm!
$4 20oz Slushies
Bartende rs Choice
Noon-6PM
Full Bar in Back Roo m
$8 Dom Pitcher
Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!
9 Ball Tournam ent.
$9 SN Pitcher 8PM-Close
PBR $2.2S Eve ryday !
Sign-up at noon . Starts
lPM.
$6.SO DBL calls
Baby Back Ribs w/Sa lad, Fries & ga rlic bread $10.99 8pm-Close $4 Single/$6 Doubl e Jack or Captain $2 Sierra Nevada
All ages unbl lOPM
FREE Poo l after lOPM $S.19 Grad/Garden/
WHENEVER OAKLAND
10AM-2PM
Daily Happy Hour
FREE POOL
PLAYS: DARK AND STORMYS FOR $S WHEVEVER THE NIN ER'S
$5 Bottl es of Champagne
from 4-7PM
1 hr. with eve ry $8
Turkey Burger w/fries
with entree
PBR $2.2S Everyday !
purchase
or sa lad
All ages until lOPM
Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call, $S Top, $6 Goose
PLAY: FRISCO SOURS
$4.SO Bloody Mary $S.SO Absolut Peppa r
FOR$S
Bloody Marys
Mimosas $2/flute, $S/pint $6 Be er Pitch ers
FREE Pool after lOPM
WEDNESDAY 9PM
FRI.DAY 4-7PM
DJ SPENNV &JEFF HOWSE
THE PUe路 SC0 UTS
DANCE NIGHT 12
Closed
Patio ! Happy Hour 4-6:
Come see our beautifu l
THU
PBR $2.2S Everyday !
Nevada Drafts
Come see our beautiful
WED
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM
3-6PM v$3.SO Dbl Wells 6PM -close $8 Dom Pitch er $9 SN Pitcher
Come see our beautiful
TUE
Mon-Fri happy hour 11-2PM $2.50 Dom & Sierra
HAPPY HOURI
SYNTHES I SWEE KLY. COM
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C HI CO CA
GoDownlo
BEAR-E-OKE
Happy Hour 11-6PM
select bottl es & drafts BURGER MADNESS!
EVERY DAY CLOSED
S2.7S
Lounge V1pu1tra
S2 Marqis
Happy Hour- 4-7pm Sl.7S
$3 Cuervo Marqis
Pints, Sl.00 Shots, 1/2 off
$2.50 Corona's & Sierra Drafts
Bea r Burger w ith fri es
all Single cocktails,
or salad for $5.29. llam-lOpm.
$1.00 Food items 2 for 1 Burgers llam-Bpm
CLOSED
. EpLAYOFFS TH WATCH
Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM Sl Dom draft, S2 SN draft, S2 we lls
Hot Drinks now available
$1 Kamikazes
GoDownlo
$3 Jam eson and Skw Special
BEAR W EAR!
S2 All Day
S3Tea of t he Day
1/2 off while wea rin g
$2 Select Sierra Nevada o r
Bartender Specials
Bea r Wea r.
Dom Drafts
Happy Hou r 4-Spm
MUG CLUB 4-lOPM
$2 Kamis -any flavo r
Happy Hour- 4-7pm Bu ck night 9pm-lam
Progress ive Night !
CLOSED
8- lOPM $1 Sierra Pale Ale, Do m esti cs, Rollin g Rock & we ll coc ktail s
up lOPM-close 25C pe r hou r-close Mon-Sat free pool 6-8PM Hot Drinks now available GoDownlo
TRIKE RACES!
All 16 oz Teas or AMF S3
S3 Tea of the Day
Happy Hour- 4-7pm
Bu ck Night 8-close
Post time @ lOpm.
All Day
Bartender Specials
1/2 off all cocktails, Sl.75
$1 we ll cocktails, Sierra
Drafts, Guest bartend ers
Nevada Pal e Ale, Rolling
W in T-shirts and Bea r
Happy Hour 4-Bpm
Bucks.
every week
MUG CLUB 4-lOPM
CLOSED
Rock, dom draft S3 Black Butte S5 Vodka Red bull $6.SO Apple Cinnamon Cider
$2.SO Pinnacle Cocktails
Drink specials!
BURGER MADNESS!
Happy Hour 11-6PM
Buck Night
Bea r Burge r w it h fri es
$2. 7S se lect bottl es &
9pm-Close
$2 Select Bee rs
or sa lad for $S.29.
drafts
$ 112oz Select Teas
SO cent well drinks
S3 Teas
llam-lOpm.
S3 20oz All Teas
9-lOpm $2 Kamis,
and dom draft
Sl Well Cocktails
S2 Fireball, S3 Cherry
u p 2SC per hour until
$2 Select Bottle Beers
Blasters, $2
close
bottl e Beer lOpm-lam
Hot Drinks now available
$2.SO Pint of Sierra Nevada Half Off Rockstar Cocktails
S216oz Wells
S2.SO Fireball Shots
Drink specials!
$2.SO Pints of Sierra
Happy Hou r- 4-7pm
$3 Hot Licks
CLOSED
$4.SO Doubl e Ba ca rdi 8-9PM Sl pale ale
LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR
Free Happy Hour Food
S3 Tea of the Day
Happy Hour- 4-7pm
Powe r Hour 8-9PM
Happy Hour S-BPM
BURGER AND FRIES FOR
4PM until it's gone
Bartend er Specials
SS Fridays 4-Bpm Most
1/2 off Liquor & Drafts
SS House Martinis
food items and pitch ers of
9PM-Close
$4 Glass of Hous e Wine
beer are SS
S3 Pal e Ale Drafts
S3 Well Cocktails
Nevada
VIP Bottl e Service
ONLY S4.99!
SS.SO Doubl e Pinnacle
available
Mon-Sat lOpm - lam.
Happy Hour 11-6PM
Vodka & Red Bull
select we lls, bottles and
$9.7S Pale Pitch ers
20% off wine by bottl e
$3 Double Well Cocktails
pints S2.75
Hot Drinks now available
Sl off Call liquor and bottl ed bee r
Half Off Rockstar Cocktails
LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR
$4 Sex On Th e Beach
S3 Tea of the Day
Happy Hou r- 4-7pm
Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM
Happy Hou r 5-8PM
$2.SO Pint of Sierra Nevada
BURGER AND FRIES FOR
$4 Sierra Nevada Knightro
Bartender Specials
Hot dog m enu all day
Sl Dom draft, S2 SN draft,
SS House Martinis
ONLY S4.99 ! Mon-Sat lOpm - lam.
ON TAP
Football Specials:
11am-8pm, All Day and
S2 wells
$4 Glass of House W in e
Sl Jello Shots
Bucket of Beer
All Night Tall cans of bee r
Power Hour 8-9PM
$3 Featu red Shot of the
SS Bartend er 's Choice SS
Night
Baca rdi Cocktails
(24oz) S3.SO, S2 Capri sun
1/2 off Liquor & Drafts
20% off w in e by bott le
and Fireball
Southern Comfort
Shots, All Teas S3.SO, Tea
9-Close Pal e Ale Drafts
Sl off Call liqu o r
Skyy & Red Bull
Party 9-llpm 32oz Teas
$9.7S Pale Pitch ers
and bottl ed bee r
are S2.50
Hot Drinks now available CLOSED
HALF OFF EVERYTHING
Call To Rent For Private
BURGER MADNESS!
$4 World Famous Bloody
Brun ch lOam - 2pm
Happy Hour- 4-7pm
(Except Red Bull and
Party
Bea r Burger w it h fries
Joe
Football Specials
Champagne Brunch
or salad for SS.29.
SS Premium bloodys
930am-lpm, Every Nfl
llam-lOpm.
your choice of vodka
Game (20 Tv's), S3 Bloody
Premium Liquors) Go Down Lo
S3 We ll Cocktails
7-lOPM S3 Rumpy, Jage r
CLOSED
marys, $3 screwdrivers, SS pitch ers of bee r
Champagne Brunch 10am-2pm Every Sunday $3 with purchase of an entree
COME WATCH THE PLAYOFFS FACE BOOK.COM/SYNTHES ISCH I CO • SYN TH ES ISWEE KLY.COM
JAN UARY 13 - JAN UARY 19, 2014
13
THIS WEEK ONLY BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT WEDNESDAY, JANUARY 1STH RED MOLLY
FRIDAY, JANUARY 17TH RANDY ROGERS BAND
SIERRA NEVADA BIG ROOM
WADE BOWEN
The 3 part harmonies from the members of folk I American trio Red Molly, Laurie MacAllister ( guitar, banjo), Abbie Gardner (guitar, Dobro, lap steel guitar}, and Molly Venter (guitar) have been described as " tick tight," which is. The. Best. Description. Ever. $15. 7:30pm
THURSDAY, JANUARY 16TH
EL REY THEATER The Randy Rogers Band continue their unoffically titled " Neverending Tour" with a stop at the El Rey Theater. Expect raucous country music party anthems -- " Fuzzy," and cry-in-your-beer ballads, like their newest lament " What's One More Sad Song." Exactly. $12 advance/ $15 @the door Doors 7:30pm, show 8:30pm.
SATURDAY, JANUARY 1STH
DIE TIME
NOBUNNY
BADGER, TBA
POOKIE AND THE POODLEZ
MONSTROS PIZZA
DUFFY'S TAVERN
Each year, something called " The Mayor's Award for Achievement in the Arts" is awarded to businesses who have contriubted to the advancement of the arts in the Chico. We hereby nominate Monstros because, all ages/ punk rock. All ages, $5. 8pm
Oft praised for licentiousness, lasciviousness and poptastic punk rock, former Elvis impersonator I grimy rabbit mask wearer/ occasional ball gag aficionado NOBUNNY (all caps one word} hits up Duffy's, with tour-mates Pookie and the Poodlez. $5. lOpm
OTHER NEW AND EXCITING THINGS 15 WEDNESDAY
16 THURSDAY
Cafe Coda: Bogg EP release party & Aubrey Debauchery and the Broken Bones tour kickoff. Cities opens! $5 All ages. 8pm
1078 Gallery: American Guitar Masters: Celtic To Contemporary. Guitar virtuosos Peter Janson and Larry Pattis. 7:30pm Blue Room Theatre: Opening night of Venus In Fur. $10. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm.
Laxson Auditorium: Golden Dragon Acrobats: Cirque Ziva . Premium/$33, Adult/$28, Senior/$26, Student/ child/$19. 7:30pm
17 FRIDAY 1078 Gallery: Outside Looking In, Reunion, XtomhanX, Epitaph Of Atlas .
$5. Doors . 7:30pm, show 8pm Blue Room Theatre: Venus In Fur. $12/advance, $15 at the door. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm. The Tackle Box: Country music from Two Steps Down. $2.
18 SATURDAY 1078 Gallery: Guitar Project with Warren Haskell & Friends . $10. Doors 7:30, show 8pm
Blue Room Theatre: Venus In Fur. $12/advance, $15 at the door. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm. Monstro's: M Section, Rum Rebellion, Fight Music, Guerilla Gorilla. All ages. $5. 8pm musicians and singers. 6:30pm The Tackle Box: Country music from 3 Fingers Whiskey.
21+/930PNl-130AM/229BROADWAYCHICO, CA/WWW.FACEBOOK.COM/LASALLESBAR
229 BROADWAY ST CHICO. CA 95928 14
JA NU A RY 13 - JA NUA RY 19, 2014
SYN
TH ESI SWE EKLY.COM
ONGOING EVENTS
13 MONDAY
The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm Cafe Flo: Live Jazz Happy Hour with the Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm. Prints by artist David Plant. Chico Women's Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until 10pm Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings. Maltese: Open Mic Night. Comedy Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstock's: Spelling Bee for the Grownups. 6:30-7:30pm
14 TUESDAY Cafe Flo: Open Mic Singer-Songwriter Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm. Prints by artist David Plant.
Open Mic. All ages. 7pm
The Bear: Trike Races. Wint-shirts and Bear Bucks. Post time 10pm. Mug Club 4-lOpm
Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOpm. Signups start at 6pm
Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8-llpm
Cafe Flo: Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm. Prints by artist David Plant. Chico Women's Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm
Panama's: Eclectic Nights. Buck night and DJ Eclectic. 9pm
The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm
DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups 6pm
Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-lam
Cafe Flo: Prints by artist David Plant.
University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
Cal Skate: Adults only skate night. $6. 18+.9-llpm
Duffy's: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9pm. $1. Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings.
VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic performance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No Cover.
The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm
Woodstock's: Open Mic Night.
Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am Maltese: Friends With Vinyl! Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-lam
17 FRIDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Acoustic Music Singer Songwriter Showcase. 7:30pm The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris. 9pm-close. $2, $10 VIP
16 THURSDAY
Chico Yoga Center: Friday Night Dance Jam with Mark Johnson. $10. 7-8:30pm
Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-lOpm LaSalle's: '90s night. 21+ Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pm-lam The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm
15 WEDNESDAY lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books:
Cafe Flo: Happy Hour with Loki and the Entertainment. 5:30-7pm. Flo-n -the Blues with Steven Truskol and The Next Door Blues Band. Chico Theater Company: Grease. Adults/$20, kids/$12. 7pm Chico Yoga Center: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson .. 7:30-9:30pm DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. 8-llpm. All ages until 10pm
DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Sign ups noon, starts at lpm.
Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings. The Graduate: Free Pool after
and 80s music. The Molly Gunn's
Chico Theater Company: Grease. Adults/$20, kids/$12. 7pm
The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm
Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Dancing. 10pm-1:30am
Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. 11am
Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm
Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi and Friends. 6:30-8:30pm
Chico Theater Company: Grease. Adults/$20, kids/$12 . 7pm.
10pm
Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+
University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana. 7-9pm
lOOth Monkey Cafe & Books: Knitting Circle. 2-4pm
The Bear: DJ Dancing No Cover. 9pm
The Tackle Box: Swing Dance Wednesday, classes 7-9pm
Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings.
18 SATURDAY
LaSalle's: Thirsty Thursdays, featuring Mack Morris Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close.
Chico Women's Club: Yoga. 9-lOam. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:30-8:30pm
DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pm
party. $3. 9:30pm
University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music showcase. 7-lOpm. Prints by artist David Plant.
Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s Revival! 8pm-midnight
LaSalle's: 1980Now! 8pm Maltese: Live Music. 9pm Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30pm-lam Scotty's Landing: Music Showcase. Open Mic hosted by Rich & Kendall. 5-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays. Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm
19 SUNDAY
DownLo: Y, off pool. All ages until 10pm
Cafe Flo: Prints by artist David Plant.
Duffy's: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour. 4-7pm
Chico Theater Company: Grease. Adults/$20, kids/$12. 2pm
Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings.
DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pm
The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pm-midnight.
WARM UP THE WINTER AT SICILIAN CAFEI
Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings. LaSalle's: Karaoke. 9pm
Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings.
Maltese: LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm
Maltese: Walking Dead Viewing Party. 9pm
The Graduate: Free pool after 10pm
Peeking Chinese Restaurant: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance
The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8pm
1020 MAIN STREET CHICO "••?) 530.3~5.2233 (G•..,FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
JA NUA RY 13 - JA NU A RY 19, 2014
15
ON THE TOWN
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
OLD CROCK BY JAIME O 'NEI LL - JAIM EA ND KA REN O NE ILL@G MA ILCO M
RUBBER DUCKY DAY ROLLS 'ROUND AGAIN
In a recent fit of the most idle of idle curiosity, I did a Google search on important dates for the month of January, and boy howdy, did I learn a lot. I'm guessing most people didn't know some of what I learned, either, and have been coasting through the first month, year in and year out, not knowing what they should have been observing or celebrating. For instance, most people are utterly clueless about the fact that this is National Oatmeal Month, which seems well chosen since oatmeal is generally less appealing in August. It is also Hot Tea Month, and National Clean Up Your Computer Month, making this a good time to brew a pot of tea while spending an hour or so deleting all the crud that deposited itself into your computer's memory bank over the preceding 12 months. And, if energies are a little depleted after the holidays, you might crank 'em up by observing National Gourmet Coffee month, though you can also celebrate Candy Month with some serious candy consumption to give you that sugar high so helpful in shoveling out the post-Christmas untidiness. This is also Random Action Month, a time that has been set aside, apparently, to encourage people to do something, or anything at all, just so long as they do it without plan, reason, or desired outcome. Busy people who don't have the time to devote a whole month to such observances might choose, instead, to celebrate a designated week in January.
16
JA NUA RY 13 - JA NU A RY 19, 2014
"Cuckoo Dancing Week (Jan. 11-18) will suit those who wish to honor the comedy team of Laurel and Hardy by having parties in which celebrants do the little dance Laurel and Hardy used to do in some of their films. The idea is to pay homage to human silliness and, given that there's so much of it, it seems only right that silliness should have its own week. January is also Man Watchers Week, Hunt for Happiness Week, Women's Self Empowerment Week, and Intimate Apparel Market Week. Is there a theme running through all that? Probably not. The month-and the year-kicks off with one of the most appropriate of all imaginable observances for our species. January 2nd-8th is Someday We'll Laugh About This Week, so let's all wish for the opportunity to laugh sooner rather than later at whatever "this" turns out to be. Anyone with a better idea for how to start the new year might want to see about getting recognition for "I've Got a Better Idea" Month. That just might turn out to be an all-inclusive observance. But before you get overly excited about that first great idea that comes to mind, be advised that in addition to the observances mentioned in this piece-- all of which are real--there are dozens of other things being honored in January by a day, or a week, or the entire month. On the 7th, for instance, you may have failed to make plans to celebrate "I'm Not Going to Take It Anymore" Day." In the spirit of friendship and goodwill, however, I will accept late cards offering me good wishes for that occasion.
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
ANATOMY OF HALF AN HOUR
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
ON THE TOWN
BY DAN O'BRIEN
What bearing does a half-hour have on us when there are so many hours, day, weeks, and years in our lifetime? Thirty minutes, eighteen hundred seconds, one forty-eighth of a day, one sixteen thousand five hundred twentieth of a year. That is not to say that time is unimportant or unfair, but there are many of us who have a slanted perception of how time ultimately affects us. You definitely aren't going to be cooking a turkey dinner, but you could go for a jog. So why the lack of time? As if some were given more time than others? The answer is simple. Perception is the key to life, some see only what they cannot have and others see what they already do. That perception leads us to see that responsibility of our own choices is what frames our lives. The elderly reflect back on their years of worry and realize that there was more around them than they believed. They once saw life as a race too which you could never beat the clock. Now, they experience life anew, returning to place and participating in things long forgotten. As adults, we are often faced with the overwhelming certainty that we will not finish what we have started; that there is a distinct possibility that our IN box will be much fuller than our OUT box. We race through life as though each precious second was wasted if we stopped for a moment. But, it is this life that we race
through that we are truly missing. The elderly see life as it was: the simplicities that make it great and the complexities that often leave adults confused and bewildered as to how they survive. Children are beset with such wonder of the world that they are fundamentally unburdened with a need to categorize time. They are free of this because they simply wander about simply experiencing the world around them. Their choices and their consequences are simple to them because they are seeing them for the first time; they will not slant them and pervert them. A child will not be heard saying that they don't have enough time to finish playing in the woods. They understand the simplicities that we often take for granted. Imagine if you devoted a half an hour a day to reading to your child at night instead of plopping them in front of the television because you believe that "you don't have time." How many times have you sat on the couch and watched sitcoms endlessly. What if this was used for something constructive instead? You could learn to speak a language in a half an hour each day. Most waste time, but there are those who find a focus for their lives: a purpose. Whatever walls you have erected in your life have been placed there by you and the choices that you have made. Time is not the culprit of your ills, but human action (or inaction for that matter). Focus on what you want and stop complaining because, honestly, everyone else is too preoccupied to listen.
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
JA NU A RY 13 - JA NU A RY 19, 2014
17
ON THE TOWN
CONSIDER THE PLATYPUS PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
BY MONA TREME
LOVE LETTERS I
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WATCH OUT
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\ II /
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Getting real tired of your shit, motorists.
Getting real tired of your shit, bicyclists.
Why do people become arrogant and borderline-homicidal when they get behind the wheel? It's like Death Race 2000 out there. I'm talking to you, person who looks me right in the eye as they speed up to blast through a yield sign that I'm just starting across. I'm also looking at you, person who apparently thinks it's giggle-worthy to sidle just a little way into the bike line right in front of me, or who passes within a few inches of my left knee. Is that what turns your crank, to feel like you've got some life-or-death power because you're driving and I'm bicycling? Or yelling lame crap out the window as you speed by, thinking that makes you superior or something? Hah, you must be a real winner when you're not safe in your great big metal box, Sparky!
Okay, seriously. What is the irresistible attraction to wearing black at night? Acquire a light or three. Wear light or reflective clothing. Stick to the side of the road-on the RIGHT side, genius-and quit randomly weaving in and out of traffic like a squirrel with a Bumble Ball up its ass. The day draws ever closer when I'm just not going to swerve when some two-wheeled idiot glides in front of me out of nowhere, confident in their litigious safety. Someday it may be worth it to just deal with the lawsuit-and the satisfaction of removing a chucklehead from the gene pool-rather than go through cardiac rehab. And while I've got your attention : when you 're on a bike, you're a vehicle too, which means-holy crap! Stop signs apply to you! Can you conduct yourselves accordingly? I know you can.
"Damn bikes need to stay in the bike lane," you may whine. Yeah, right ... just a couple of wee little issues there. Bike lanes randomly appear and disappear along Chico's streets; when they are present, they're also populated with parked cars, leaf piles, Christmas trees, broken glass, etc. I'd love to see drivers handle roads in that condition. Aww, your tire hit a big nasty pothole? That's adorable. Try navigating around a still-juicy dead cat while avoiding cars (both moving and stationary), single shoes, and busted beer bottles, in a three-foot-wide lane, with little to no physical protection. Yeah, pretty sure it's not bicyclists who are the "weak" ones in this conversation.
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As for the self-righteous contingent of the jerkwad bicyclist tribe-the Lance Armstrong wannabes and the crunchy "look at us reducing our carbon footprint" types-you need to get over yourselves. Like yesterday. Yes, you're so very healthy; congratulations! And taking up nearly all of the road by riding three abreast or sauntering leisurely across an intersection while glaring at drivers contribute to your cause HOW, exactly? Trust me, sweeties, you're not that precious.
Wake up, share the road, and quit being dicks. Both of you.
SYNTHES I SWEE KLY. COM
LIKE, LITERALLY BY LARRY MANG ELWURZ EL - EDITORIAL@SY NTHESIS NET
PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
ON THE TOWN
PHOTOGRAPHS OF THE ORDINARY, BY THE ORDINARY
Volume 4, Tattered and Lost: Cakes, Picnics, and Watermelon Bins of old photographs are easily found at thrift stores and antique shops. I seem to remember one such bin of yellowed images at a Chico antique shop {I forget the exact store) with a sign that read "Instant Relatives - 4/$1." I love looking through such things; interpreting the stories and feelings within the eyes of the photographed. What was happening here, what were these folks up to, what was their story - and why are these pictures here in this basket and not claimed by a family member? Talk about a marginalized group-who speaks for the lost photographs? Who is here to lend a voice to millions of frozen moments in time that are sitting silenced in boxes, under beds, or in attics? Such a Medium does exist and her name is Tattered and Lost. I'll let the author explain with words from her site:
Tattered and Lost is the online identity of one collector of vernacular photography, found photos, vintage snapshots, ephemera, or whatever else you prefer to call them. At the website Tattered and Lost Photographs she shares some of the images she's found at flea markets, antique stores,
and estate sales. Seeing the world from a quirky point of view helps her to make sense of some of the odd images she finds. Collecting vintage photographs starts out innocent enough with a few snapshots here and there, but at some point it becomes a bit more obsessive and you find yourself longing for the next image that makes you laugh or ponder the irrefutable confusion of being human. This book, Tattered and Lost: Cakes, Picnics, and Watermelon, the fourth in a series, shows the quirky world of sharing food from the 1890s to the 1970s in the United States. Sit back and enjoy watching people cut cakes (some people do it with such style!}, go on picnics without your relatives, and watch people eat watermelon. Yes, eat watermelon. An odd category for sure, but one sure to make you smile. I was given Volume 4, Tattered and Lost: Cakes, Picnics, and Watermelon as a Christmas gift, and it is incredible. If you enjoy an anthropological journey of the silly, and at times, hollow sadness, please visit
http://tatteredandlostphotographs.blogspot. com/ where you can also order the books and be captivated by persons, many long since passed on, staring back at you-simply living life amongst the pages. We owe it to them. Never forget.
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J AN UA RY 13 - JAN UA RY 19, 2014
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A STORY SO SWEET IT SHOULD BE A DISNEY MOVIE BY MICHELE FRENCH
This is a story of love found, love lost, found again, lost briefly, but, in the end those who loved came together to be with one another forever. When my beloved Sharkey died in April of 2011, I vowed I would let my remaining kitties live out the rest of their lives and not replace any of them until they all were no more. About a week after Sharkey's demise I walked downtown through a residential area south of the campus and passed a student rental ; a little, white, gingerbread Victorian home that has neon beer signs perpetually decorating the windows. As I walked by, the ill-kept bushes in front of the porch rustled and a small, dark shape rocketed across the narrow yard and wrapped itself around my ankles. Of course, it was a cat, but-oh, my God!-what a condition she was in! I could tell before I even touched her that she was in terrible shape. Whatever her physical problems, she didn't seem to be in any emotional distress. She was grinning up at me as if she'd found the Mother Lode (and in the end, she had), purring so loudly that passersby on the other side of the street probably heard her. When I did begin to pet her, her hipbones jutted out sharply and I could feel each and every one of her ribs. Her fur was jet black around her beautiful face, but on her body it was rust red. She was, clearly, close to total starvation. To say I was in a quandary would be an understatement. I couldn't take her with me. I didn't know for sure if she was a stray. She was sweet and friendly and, seemingly, so happy. I decided I'd get her some food that evening to help her through her the night, and talk to whoever lived in the Victorian jewel box later. There's no tactful way to tell to someone, "Your kitty's starving to death." The girls living in the house were coldly civil, but I could tell by their expressions what was on their minds was, "Interfering old bat!" They protested that they did feed "Smokey," and that, no, I couldn't adopt her; she was too attached to their other cat, an obese, snotty pastel calico. "Yeah, sure!" I thought. Grudgingly, they allowed me to bring over extra snacks. I found out later that "Smokey" did, indeed, attach herself readily to other cats. I fervently hoped at the end of the semester they'd abandon her. At the end of the semester the girls and "Smokey" vanished. I then hoped that wherever she was, she was being better taken care of than she had been before. I walked by the house where I met her, but there was never any sign of her there. Fast forward to the middle of July that same year. Walking past another old house, this one on Cherry Street, I couldn't help notice there was raucous birthday party going on inside. Through the open door I could hear someone drunkenly droning, "Happy birrrrthday to yooooo ... ,"
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over and over again. Besides, chalked on the sidewalk and the walk up to the porch were things like, "#*&@#! Birthday Here!" Glancing from the walk to the porch I saw a sofa and, on the sofa's back, a little black cat. She was wrapped around my ankles in two seconds. A bored voice came from within, "Ya ' want 'er? She's just been hangin' around here." One thing I noticed immediately was that she was in much better shape than the first time I'd seen her. She was plump and her fur was jet black all over. I said I'd be back later. Providentially I then met my friend , Anna, who, even though she had her lovely doggie, Osa, with her, said she'd give me and my new four-footed roommate a ride home. As I settled into the passenger seat I burbled that I was going to name my new kitty Nyx after the Ancient Greek goddess of the night and sleep. When Nyx got in she let us know she was not pleased at the presence of Osa. She kept trying to get out of the very rolled up windows. By the time we got back to my apartment Nyx was in extreme emotional meltdown and the worst was yet to come. As I got out of the car my neighbor's very noisy puppy woofed us a booming welcome which was just too much for Nyx. She struggled out of my
arms, roared across the street in front of an oncoming car and disappeared into the berry bushes in the backyard of the big, yellow house on the other side. That night I had I a dream. It was probably was a premonition that I'd find her again eventually. I dreamed that it rained so much we had a flash flood and I took to the swollen river of my street in canoe. As I paddled along looking for Nyx she soon paddled up beside me. She was grinning like she'd found her treasure again and I was at peace. A week later I went out in my yard for no particular purpose at 7:00 in the morning, and there she was, slinking along in front of the white picket fence around the yard of the big, yellow house looking for something to eat. She was thin again, her lovely fur was matted and she'd evidently lost a fight-she had a sore on the inside of one of her back legs, but we were together at last. I combed her fur, the wound healed quickly and she was soon plump. She's still with me, healthy and playful. It's weird and so difficult to explain, but Nyx radiates such happiness, she makes me happy just looking at her.
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HOW TO CHANGE THE WORLD BY AMY OLSON
Recently, a friend of mine was sauntering casually through Safeway (I'm pretty sure she goes there just to show off her casual saunter), when she encountered a scene which she described thusly :
"I overheard a woman at the grocery store become a TREMENDOUS bitch over the lack of selection in organic salad dressings. It was a beef she'd had with Safeway for a long time, and it was time for "us" to stop letting the corporation dictate our unhealthy lifestyle choices. And I realized that while many of us have resolved to be kinder, gentler people, an equal number of us may have resolved to stand more firmly and aggressively on our principles." This whole thing got me thinking about life strategies; about changing the world, and about happiness in general. There are several aspects of this incident we could focus on. For one thing, there's the disruption to the force when a person makes a stink in what would otherwise be a very pleasant and orderly environment. Grocery stores are about the closest thing to home in the hierarchy of public places-you can go there in your pajamas, and that says a lot. I could never walk into the peaceful community pantry and throw down a soapbox, no matter how much I think every store should carry this one brand of frozen eclairs my mom used to buy when I was kid. Write a letter or something, Crazypants-people are stoned and they're trying to remember what they came in here for. For that matter, there's the culture that made her feel entitled to that kind of behavior. I have no idea why, but a lot of people who are obsessed with organic foods seem to also think every situation is an opportunity for activism. Can't you just believe in health and sustainable farming without being at war with everyone who doesn't seem to care as much as you do? That just sounds like a wad of stress that's probably going to counteract any of the dubious health benefits of that salad dressing, and it's making the world a darker and angrier place. You may think you're advancing your cause, but you're actually giving the organic food movement a bad name. There's also the fact that she could've just skipped the dilemma and gone to a place that specializes in organic foods, like Chico Nat or S&S, but instead chose to go to a regular grocery store (over and over, knowing the selection they had). Which is on top of the fact that salad dressing is literally the easiest thing you could possibly make; it takes less time to whip up than it does to choose and purchase. For people like this unfortunate woman, life is way harder than it should be. They set themselves up in scenarios where they will be dissatisfied by the environment, blame others for not meeting their expectations, take a symbolic stand over whatever issue (something that by definition means you're blowing it way out of proportion), and try to control the people around them through negativity. Plus she's eating way too many salads, and it's probably making her extra cranky because she's never full.
On the flip side of all this, there are the people who are shining beacons of joy. Over the holidays I had the pleasure of meeting the perfect person to use as an example of this; it's like her whole life was fated to be just as it was so I could have a good contrast for this article. When Doris was 23 years old, she had pretty much accepted that she would never get married, and she was cool with it. One day her sister tried to talk her into a double date; her husband had a friend who was about to ship off for the Navy the next day, and they wanted to take him out dancing. Doris wasn't really into the idea, but she hadn't eaten, so she went with it. As it turned out, those jerks went out to dinner before they picked her up, but the dude (Benjamin) was pretty cool; when she told him how hungry she was, he took her out to a restaurant anyway where she housed a giant steak dinner while they all watched. The date was good, and they started writing letters back and forth. The next time she saw him they got married. He had planned the whole thing with the help of his Navy buddies, and even though she had bought a wedding dress and didn't have it with her, she went with it. About a year into their marriage, Doris underwent surgery that left her unable to have children. She knew that this
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wasn't what either of them had expected for their lives, and she told Benjamin that if he didn't want to stay married she would totally understand, and offered to let him go so he could have a family with someone else. He was like, "No way! I want to spend my life with YOU." Which he did. They went with it, and were married for over 60 amazing years before he passed away. They lived all over the world, went to fancy balls and cocktail parties, and made lifelong friends (who had kids and grandkids they could play with before going back to their immaculate home together). When Doris looks back at her collection of memories, she glows. It's that casual embrace of life that ties everything together. This is not a person who never faced any difficulties; this is a person who was, herself, never difficult. The secret to a beautiful attitude like that might be a little deeper than choice, it might be something in the sugar and spice she's made of, but I definitely walked away from my interaction with her brimming with love and inspiration, transformed by her happiness. That's the world I want to live in. That's the way I want to navigate the twists and turns. I want to be 93 years old with a bright, crinkly eyed smile, sit in my lovely pink and white living room, look back on the many happy years I shared with wonderful people, and say, "We had a GREAT time."
JA NU A RY 13 - JA NU A RY 19, 20 14
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JANUARY13-JANUARY19 BY KOZ MCKEV
ARIES
TAURUS
GEMINI
CANCER
LEO
VIRGO
The conflict is real but it is also negotiable. The public demands more from you this week. Be sure to cultivate your best talents and skills. Wednesday's full moon has something to do with your mother and the older women in your life. It's o.k. to be wrong and it's natural to be angry.
Think like you've never ever really had true love before. Most people are somewhat incapable due to their own self obsessions. Wait, this may just be your problem. If you want or need love you are in for a challenge. It's better to focus on building things slowly. The full moon may include a poetic breakthrough. Get to know neighbors and close friends .
You are smarter than usual. It's time to get a head start on some new knowledge. Don't take things too personally or you'll fail before you even begin. The full moon will help you to sing a new song. It might also give you a bad case of the munchies. Sex, death, birth, and occult studies have been your obsession. Be smart, but be compassionate.
This week puts you in the driver's seat. You are both more attractive and more fortunate than usual. You are likely to be blessed by reaching new goals in creative fields. Keep a spiritual attitude when it comes to the full moon. Many people will be wearing their emotions on their sleeve. Money will be made later in the week.
You begin the week trying to fit your work schedule into the schedule of others. Nothing comes easy and health concerns may need to be addressed. The full moon deals directly with your personal karma. Your intuition is high especially on Tuesday and Wednesday. Stay with the task at hand and try to help others along the way.
This week may have something to do with your social standing and the karma that you've made for yourself. On the positive note you are surging with creative energy and have a willingness to be loving. You are looking for reliable friends. The full moon has you socializing with prosperous friends. The moon will be in Virgo Saturday night through Sunday giving you an extra boost.
LIBRA
SCORPIO
SAGITTARIUS
CAPRICORN
AQUARIUS
PISCES
Doing things your way feels right at this time. Mars in your first house is driving you like a warrior or a race car driver. Relationships on the home front may be a little bit sticky with Venus in retrograde. Take care of problems as they come up. The full moon will bring a boost to your career. Friday and Saturday look good for going to parties, and cracking jokes.
Blooming where one is planted isn't always easy. They say that a prophet is never honored in his home town. Be serious about your goals, eliminate distractions and seek the highest possibilities. Let the back-biters have their say. You can't expect to change everyone. The full moon rules travel, higher knowledge and a generous and spiritual attitude.
Values are still at the forefront of what you are perceiving. God lives in the praises of His people, so begin each day by saying uplifting things. Discover the alchemy of magic and expecting the best. You still need to deal with some difficult karma. The full moon will expand your knowledge of the great mysteries. You ' ll probably have to submit to other peoples will.
This is the final week of Capricorn. Generally speaking we save the best for last. Transformation and deep insights continue to be had. Protect your home from sudden shocks or loose electrical wires. The full moon will effect your relationships in a most positive way. Negotiating stress between work and home is the challenge. The weekend may contain some adventure .
In some ways you feel as though you have been left in the dark. Your spiritual life and personal karma are the focus this week. Helping others that are isolated is the quickest way to changing your karma for the better. The full moon may effect your health as well as your work environment. The weekend looks good for romance.
I see you wanting to escape with your friends somewhere. I also see you personally being able to transmit some sort of healing and comfort. The full moon will bring out some of your finest creative potential . Be willing to work towards an exotic goal. Pay attention to messages in dreams, license plates and addresses. Relax on Saturday night and Sunday.
Koz McKev 1s on You Tube, on cable 17 BCTV, 1s heard on 90/FM KZFR Chk:o, and also available by appOJi7tment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozm!C:kev@sunset.net
GREAT WINTER READ Winter Melon, written by local writer Bill Wong Foey A defiant and passionate young woman survives the Rape of Nanking in this debut novel. Voted Book of the Month for July by Lyons Books "Lives of Asia" book group. In paperback online at Amazon.com and Lyons Book Store, 135 Main Street, or as an e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes and DirectMusicCafe. ADVERTI S EMENT
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