Synthesis Weekly Jan. 27-Feb. 2, 2014

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5XQ1h~~rn JANUARY 27 - FEBRUARY 2 For 20 years The Synthesis' goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett kathy@synmedia.net

MANAGING EDITOR Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net

CREATIVE DIRECTOR Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net

ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net calendar@synthesis.net

DESIGNERS Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net

DELIVERIES Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti

CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Howl, Jaime O'Neill, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Dan O'Brien, Negin Riazi, Jayme Washburn, Eli Schwartz, Mona Treme

PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid Vincent Latham

NERD

EMPOWER THE TOWER

LIKE, TOTALLY NEW WAVE

KZFR's signal is fading, along with the dream of community radio in the North State. But it's not too late-we can band together and help them replace their broadcasting tower. Radio personality and Synthesis contributor, Tammy Wichman, gives us the lowdown on why the station is so important and what you can do to save it.

Get dizzy with this tale from the future talking in past tense about a retro prom for grown-ups. What will become of our heroine, Mutty Mulligan, as she seeks to fulfill her Pretty in Pink fantasies five years after missing her last chance at a high school prom? Will this be the night she finally deserves?

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Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net

ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby

DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Karen Potter

OWNER Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net

The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied

or used in any other way, shape or form without

IMMACULATE INFECTION

PAGE 5 COMICAL RUMINATIONS

PRODUCTIVITY WASTED

PAGE 7 SPORTSBALL

OLD CROCK

PAGE 16 CONSIDER THE PLATYPUS

the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions.

One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at

the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address

and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

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210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 editorial@synthesis.net

JANUARY 27 - FEBRUARY 2, 2014

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LETTER FROM THE EDITOR

PET OF THE WEEK

RADIO ACTIVE

ADOPT ME! Brooke is a fun, energetic gal just looking for her new companions! Brooke is the kind of dog that you might call a homebody. She has simple tastes, snuggles on the couch, a few toys and that special family who will show her the world isn't quite such a scary place .

I know, I know. You gave to keep the Bookstore open, you gave to keep the Pageant open, and here comes another community jewel, KZFR, asking for you help. Why should you keep making these contributions? What's really in it for you?

2579 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 • (530) 343-7917 • buttehumane .org

NOW HEAR THIS Sy nthesis Weekl y Pla y list TAN N ER El-P - "REQUEST DENIED" COLIN

PACO DE LUCIA - "ENTRE DOS AGUAS"

DAIN

OINGO BOINGO - "GOODBYE GOODBYE"

HOWL

THE LOLOS - "MARIA JOSE"

KATYA

JEM - "THEY"

MIKE

LIL JOHN - "DAMN"

AMY

THE BEATLES - "HELLO, GOODBYE"

ALEX

P.J. HARVEY - "THE MOUNTAIN"

LEOV

MILO - "LEGENDS OF THE HIDDEN TEMPLE"

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Short answer: A lot. Longer and more satisfying answer: not only living in a town where these sorts of culturally defining touch points exist, but being personally connected to them. The term "community" itself is almost a cliche at this point, repeated so often that it ceases to lose real meaning. But at the very core of any really good town, there is a sense of being in it together and having the opportunity to contribute to the form it takes. I've lived in cities like San Francisco and Santa Rosa at different points in my life, and while there are a lot of cool things about those places, there really isn't a sense of community. Certain neighborhoods have more character than others, but very few people know (or even want to know) their neighbors. The combined air of commercialism and isolation in the sea of people can leave you feeling completely swept up in someone else's world, desperate to survive with your values intact. It's a feeling of powerlessness, and cold (or maybe that part was just the weather down there). Power as a metaphor is energizing to the

life of the individual, and power as a literal force is energizing to something like, oh ... the KZFR radio tower. Community radio means that anyone can decide what they want to contribute to the conversation or the soundtrack of their neighborhood, and something besides the same tired "classic" rock tunes the other stations have been playing for the past 30 years can be heard by anyone with a radio. In all honesty, I don't listen to much radio. When I do, it's KZFR, but even then it's usually only while I'm driving or when a friend's band is being featured. At home or work, I tend to use Pandora (which I do pay for, because good, commercial free radio is worth paying for), but I value the existence of a thing like KZFR very highly. It's part of what makes Chico great. It's part of what makes Chico more united than so many other places. And unlike Pandora, when you make a contribution to their Power To The Tower campaign (indiegogo.com/kzfr) they make a really big deal about it and give you stuff. Hey, speaking of Pandora-I heard a rumor that ASCAP (the American Society of Composers, Authors and Publishers) has agents about town, and is threatening local businesses with lawsuits for streaming music where customers can hear. Just a heads up: if they sue you they'll probably win, so you may want to go radio silent, or sign up for Pandora for Businesses to get the royalty police off your back.

AMY OLSON - AMY@SYNTHESIS.NET SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM


IMMACULATE INFECTION BY BOB HOWARD - MADBOB@MADBOB.COM

WHAT PASSES FOR EXCITEMENT IN THE YEAR2014

• Apartment

• Business

"It's not the calendar I'm worried about, it's the odometer."

• Home

• Warehouse

• Office

• and more!

-Marvin

High Performance Detail Cleaners

Res1dent1al and Commerc1al Clean1ng Serv1ces!

Ghost Trees Trish and I drove up to Concow yesterday with a good friend of ours. We'd looked at a piece of property there years back, when we were still looking for land. It is beautiful country, but steep and treacherous. The plot we were looking at rested alongside a deep and narrow gully; everything would have to be terraced. We would have had the calves of runway models by now. That was before the fires, anyway, and now the landscape is a harrowing combination of burned out, gray and dead ghost trees, and swaths of defiant green living trees. The kicker is the massive accumulation of undergrowth and deadfall. The next fire will burn hot and fast.

Cost Effect1ve, Customer Fr1endly Clean1ng Serv1ce Fees FREE est1mates w1th walk- through s1te 1nspectlon (530)774-1175 http://supercleanpros.webs.com Compost

Thoughts on Quinoa

The method of growing I am experimenting with lately is called " no till" gardening. Instead of turning the ground over each spring, the idea is to top dress your plots with amendments-manure and compostand keep building the ground up. This way the soil remains light and nutrient rich. Mulching around the plantings makes weed control more manageable. I'm only in season one, but already I can see I am going to need a lot of compost. As a result, I've put together a series of simple compost bins. These are nothing more than wire fencing, rolled into a tube and fastened with bailing wire. You toss your organic material into the bin, and after it's degraded somewhat, you can pull the bin off and reshuffle the pile. The more broken down material is down at the bottom, so after you put the fresher material back into the bin, you can easily access the usable compost.

I wonder about the viability of quinoa up there in Concow. The plant originates from the Andes mountains, in Peru. It can tolerate cold weather, drought, and poor soil conditions. I grew a small crop of it last year here in Los Mo Ii nos, planting in January and harvesting in May or June, before the temperatures got too high.

This is what passes for excitement in my life these days, and I'm not being facetious. I am truly excited by compost, fences, heirloom seeds and soil managementthough I still get the itch once in a while to strap on a dress, make up my face, don a wig, and play through a set of Sex Pistols songs.

Our friend tells us the Maidu, when they occupied the land, routinely burned out the undergrowth to facilitate agriculture and hunting. Every spring and fall they would set the woods on fire. Bureaucratic forestry management and air control quality advocates would never allow such practices in the enlightened year 2014, so I guess everyone there just keeps their fingers crossed and their suitcases packed. Down here in the Valley I've been sowing quinoa and beet seed, along with the tiny garlic bulbs that you can pull off the mature plant after it flowers. I'm told these will produce full-sized garlic bulbs, eventually, and that it will take a couple of years for them to reach maturity.

"We clean to YOUR specifications!"

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JAN UARY 27 - FEBR UARY 2, 2014

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COMICAL RUMINATIONS BY ZOOEY MAE - ZOOEYMAE@SYNTHESIS.NET

FRAPPUCCINO FARTS

I have a pretty steady habit of waiting until the day of my first class to purchase new notebooks. It's not the best habit, but it is a scholastic tradition, and if Michele Bachmann has taught me anything, it's that tradition is important (and that hurricanes are actually just God throwing a tantrum). On Tuesday, I made my way to the bookstore to keep up my last minute notebook buying tradition. I was in the pen aisle trying to decide between black and blue (which is dumb, obviously the correct choice is always black), when my thoughts were interrupted by the high-pitched squawking of two twenty-somethings wearing Victoria's Secret sweatpants and carrying giant Frappuccinos. The conversation went something like this : Dummy #1: "So I like, finally tried anal with Ryan, and he got about an inch in before I totally screamed." Dummy #2: Oh my god, that is like, so fucking scary! What did you do?!" Dummy #1: "I ran to the shower, and then he came in, and we were both just like, sitting there in the shower crying together ... It was like, so cute. Although I think we were crying about different things." Dummy #2: "Ugh, anal is so hard." It was somewhere around the mention of "getting an inch in" when the foulest, most rancid -smelling fart fumes hit me face. I didn't know which of the two idiots

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JANUARY 27 - FEBRUARY 2, 2014

pumped that smelly mess out of herb-hole, but I think it's a solid argument for why people shouldn't try to subsist on a diet of Starbucks Frappuccinos and laxatives. The fart fumes were starting to blur my vision, so I grabbed the first pen I could find and made my way to the register. After walking across campus and up three flights of stairs, I finally found my classroom and stepped through the door just as the professor was making her opening remarks. About 45 seconds later, another girl burst through the door and took the only available seat, which happened to be right in front of me. Guess who it was. If you guessed Dummy #1, hooray! You're correct! She collapsed into the chair in front of me, tossed her hair extensions onto my desk, sucked down the last remnants of her milkshake masquerading as coffee, and sighed. Then farted. Which answered my earlier question of which of the two dummies had farted earlier. Later I realized that the whole situation was a perfect metaphor for how I feel at the start of every semester. I get really excited at the prospect of learning new things. I convince myself that this will be the semester that I don't miss any classes and I won't dread group work. Then I smell the inside of someone's butthole, and it makes me never want to leave my house again, so that I only have to smell my own farts. The moral of this story is that my anxiety really goes into overdrive at the start of every semester. Also that you should eat a balanced diet.

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PRODUCTIVITY WASTED BY ELI SC HWA RTZ

NAVIGATING THE CURVE Of late I've been attempting to sink my teeth past the first four or five layers of Paradox Games' Europa Universalis IV, a monster of a grand strategy game that lets you choose to be any conceivable nation in the world from 1444 to 1821. It's fun and fascinating, but why don't fraternities host Europa tournaments alongside their keggers? Why can't they get Eminem to do their soundtrack? Simply put, the game is about as accessible as Area 51, and just as mysterious. There are ten tabs in the main menu, over twenty map overlays, and well over a hundred different nations that each have specific rules. When playing you may ask yourself questions like: "What the hell is trade power?" " Why are the tribes constantly rebelling?" "How the fuck am I supposed to afford anything?" " WHAT IS THIS GAME?" My friends and I have joked about recommending it to people as their first strategy game, and then videotaping them

Learning curves are terrifying things, not just because of their nefarious shape, but also because on the list of unpleasant sensations, failure ranks alongside urinary tract infections. The fear of losing is one of the biggest obstacles to anyone who is unsure of playing video games. Highly complicated systems and scenarios inspire despair not just because of laziness, but because they evoke memories of failing math problems when called on in class, or bombing a joke in front of your significant other's parents. There are too many variables, you can't possibly succeed on the first try. More often than not, it's our hope of success (no matter how small) that encourages us, rather than our indifference to failure. In reality, that's a logical policy, but video games are one of the best places to fail in the modern world. You screwed up? Exit to the menu, try again. Or better yet, game allowing, reload from the checkpoint. In modern gaming, failure

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is more flimsy than ever, and it's only by learning to fail better that we succeed at anything. Eventually, you fail so well that you win. This is a case used for notoriously difficult games through the ages, from the ancients like Metal Slug and System Shock all the way to the "modern" games done in the same spirit, if not directly inspired by them, such as Dark Souls and Volgarr the Viking. Ultimately what these games require is investment, and what the player is left with is a question : Do I enjoy this enough to invest? Any other thoughts such as fear of failure, or exhaustion at complexity, should be left aside. When reaching for something difficult, the level of difficulty should be a factor in whether we decide it to be worth it for us, or if we'd rather just play cookie clicker. Fear, pride, even the guilt that those of us with real responsibilities (you know who you are) experience upon investing time into a game, leave those at the door.

JAN UARY 27 - FEBRUARY 2, 2014

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Tuning the radio dial from channe l to channe l can be time consum in g here in Ch ico. It 's a constant debacle sorting through good tunes, o ld tunes, tunes you might notwantto hear or tunes you have never heard of, in spirationa l or disdainful talk radio, or a sermon here and there ... A steady stand-by is KZFR 90.1 FM. KZFR is Ch ico's one and on ly commun ity radio station, making their home right here in downtown atop the big green building that sits at Broadway and 4th Street. They are a non-commercial and nonprofit public service organ ization, dedicated to playing the finest music chosen by their vo lunteer disc jockeys and radio personalities with the utmost love and apprec iation for their aud iences.

'

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As any true commun ity radio shou Id, KZFR reflects the priorities of the Northern Sacramento Va lley commun iti es. They host many news radio shows to keep commun ity members updated on current events globa lly, nationally, regionally, and loca lly. The station's mission is to enterta in , educate, to contribute to cultural understanding and apprec iation, furthering the en lightenment of all li steners. What makes KZFR possible?

We ll, first off: the station has been broadcasting sin ce 1990, ce lebratin g its 24th birthday this year. Of course, this was not actua lly the beginning, but rather the first time they went live on air. KZFR truly began years before; gatherin g funds through yard sa les and car washes to get a transmitter (the tower) to send out the radio signa l, in add iti on to all the li censin g that had to be signed and approved . This radio station happens by the sweat, tears, and laughter of roughly 120 commun ity vo lunteers who provide a wid e variety of music programming as we ll as loca l public affa irs and sensationa lly electrifyin g programs, and who assist a sma ll paid management staff w ith fund raising, outreach and events.

BY TAMMY WICHMAN 8

JANUARY 26 - FEBRUARY 2, 2014

They are comp lete ly commun ity-supported by donations-through membership drives that are organ ized twice a year in the fall and sprin g; events with big headliners like David Nelson, and Jackie Greene; and underwriting, wh ich allows loca l businesses to be spotli ghted and provide a consistent in come for the station. Agreement w ith the principles and goa ls of KZFR is the so le criteria for participation; opportun iti es to vo lunteer at events, in the

stud io, or being trained as a programmer (as the DJs are ca lled at the station) are always ava ilab le. Doesn1soundtooshabb~

Now that you have a better id ea of who KZFR is and what they do, it seems like a good time to take a look into their current situ ation. If you're a li stener-or are plugged into the vibe of the commun ity-you've probably heard about the Power to the Tower campa ign. What is Power to the Tower? What does the tower do? And why does it need power?

The tower is a real thing; it exists somewhere in the cuts near Magalia . It's what all ows the radio signa l-w ith all the dedicated work the programmers have spent hours preparingto get out into the world, to be heard in your car, over the airwaves, and on the internet. The tower is a costly piece of machineryin the ballpark of $40,000. That's forthe who le shebang: the equ ipm ent to send the signa l out, and a sweet comfortab le secure structure away from the elements for it to live in. It' s not on ly important that KZFR have it, it' s pretty damn essential. KZFR needs that tower yesterday, so the station has put itse lf into overdrive to raise the necessary funds to get it. What's in the works to get Power to the Tower? A concert series and an lndi eGoGo campa ign. The lndi eGoGo method has proven successfu l for a few of our loca l landmarks such as The Bookstore and the Pageant Theatre, so why not KZFR? The campa ign to raise the much needed funds w ill go li ve on Tuesday, January 28th. Show your support by making a donation here-indiegogo.com/kzfr. The concert series kicks off Saturday, February 1st, w ith Midnight North featuring Grahame Lesh & Wa lkin g Span ish . Doors will open at 7:30pm, and the show will commence 8:30pm . Tickets are $12, ava ilab le on lin e at kzfr.org . Not familiar with these great bands? Here's a bit of in sight: Grahame Lesh, joined in the songwritin g department by Elliott Peck, has formed Midnight North, a band who lets their songs and performances speak for themselves. Midnight North follows the path of a long lin e of successfu lly crafted Ca liforni a country music that spans from Bakersfield to the Bay. Wa lkin g Span ish is en igmatic in sty le. Their music is an honest expression of the band's dynamic, magnetic prowess. It w ill be a night to remember, and a show you w ill feel good supportin g,

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sin ce all fund s raised will go to KZFR and powe rin g th e mand atory inst allati on of th e towe r. Two oth er co nce rt s in th e se ri es are co min g up next mo nth as we ll: Mardi Gras Party, with Bahapki and Karm a Kin gs, on Frid ay, Febru ary 28th. Doo rs at 7pm and show at 8pm , Ti cket s are $10. On Saturd ay, March 8th , Co mm and er Co dy and hi s New Planet Airm en will be playin g. Doo rs w ill be at 8pm and show will be at 9pm. Ti cket s are $25 . Both shows will be hosted at th e Wo men's Club and ti cket s are ava ilable on lin e at kzfr.org.

Why support KZFR? In th e wo rd s of so me of th e staff and prog ram me rs:

"Bottom line - we ore broadcasters, and the Power to the Tower emergency hos seriously detracted from our ability to broadcast. The tower is the heart of KZFR and what keeps everything going. Right now we ore pumping at 500wotts!ess than a tenth of the 6300 watts we need. Without the tower we ore off the air. All funds raised will go directly to Power to the Tower. We still hove a serious amount of work ahead of us but I om confident that our listeners and supporters will come through." - Rick Anderson, Genera! Manager

"Primarily, and most importantly, to keep us on the air. Amy Goodmon did a segment in the post about the importance of community radio. A town hod a derailed train creating a toxic waste emergency in the midwest, [the first instinct of] people who lived in the community was to coll the local radio station, but no one was there. If local radio stations ore up and functioning some one will be there to put the news on the air. We enjoy [hearing] ourselves on the air, but that is not our primary purpose. Our primary purpose is public safety" - Ed Pitmon

I'm sure th at yo u are now t otally amped to help KZFR kee p deli ve rin g greatn ess throu gh th e airways . Do yo u wa nt to try out yo ur radi o vo ice? To beco me a prog ramm er, KZFR host s trainin g sessions t wice a yea r in th e fall and spring. Th ere is no pri o r experi ence necessa ry; no fancy deg ree in broadcastin g. Th ey will wa lk yo u throu gh eve rythin g yo u need to kn ow forth e ce rtifi cati o n process .

Caribbean Dance Radio, hosted by DJ Ph G, eve ry oth er Saturd ay fro m 10 to midni ght (Next tim e to tun e in is Febru ary 8). Corri bean Dance Radio is t wo hours of dance hall and reggae mu sic from latest and best arti st s of reggae in a party form at. Li sten to th e trac ks th at no o ne else is playin g, rece nt so ngs th at are co min g out, and trac ks th at helped influ ence reggae and dance hall to be w hat it is t oday. And of co urse a cras h co urse in KZFR radi o programmin g wo uld not be co mplete with out plu ggin g my ow n show, Love in the 21st Century, w hi ch airs eve ry oth er Thursday at 5:30 pm. It's a phil oso phi ca l to practi ca l loo k at love in o ur eve ryday li ves; one third datin g advice, o ne third co mpassio n trainin g, one third se lf-love guid e. Tun e in to get inspired, lea rn about how to t ake better ca re of yo urse lf, and st art see in g love in eve rythin g. As I am sure yo u und erst and now, KZFR is burstin gatth e sea ms with co mmunity invo lve ment. Support Powe r to th e Towe r, and kee p KZFR o n th e air. Need mo re inform ati o n o r reaso ns to donate? Chec k out KZR.org. Kee p co mmunity radi o broadcast ing, in th e end yo u will be happy yo u did.

Not sure w hat shows to tun e in to? I w ill let yo u in on a little sec ret-a ll th e shows are outst andin g, so it is best to ju st leave yo ur radi o di al at 90 .lFM. But if yo u are loo kin g for so methin g more spec ifi c, th ere is th e prog ram guid e at kzfr. org/programs. Or, yo u ca n try out th e shows of th e host s qu ot ed above. Here's a little info about th em:

Kitchen Sink: host ed by Jon D, on Frid ays fro m 6 to 8a m. Th e show is exactl y w hat it says, eve ryo ne plays eve rythin g else; he plays w hat is left: Th e Kitchen Sink. It is extremely ec lecti c. It gives listeners an o ppo rtunity to li sten to mu sic and arti st s th ey have neve r hea rd. A~ernoon

"KZFR promotes local venues, organizations, musicians and politico! actions. It is a beacon of light to delve through the abyss which is commercial radio. It is also the only live and local music, so at any point listeners con coll in and talk to the DJ KZFR offers diverse programming that is not ovoi!ob!e elsewhere. Being a Reggae fan there is no where else to find it. Reggae DJs pull songs from their persona! collection, from their passion of the music, exposing people to songs they rarely here. KZFR is not run by a single person, no fat cot at the top colling the shots. It is community members." - OJ PhG

"KZFR is of the community It allows eclectic programming; news you don't get from other sources. Maybe you do not agree with everything but at least it is out there. Grassroots from the ground up; no corporate money" - David Samuels

"It's on important resource to the area; commercial free alternative views."

Reflux: hosted by Ed Pitm an, o n Tu esday aftern oo ns, from 3 to Spm. It 's a va ri et y show with bad co medy and fake news . Listeners kn ow Ed from oth er shows such as Morning Sickness, Another Blue Show, The Point Is, and Another Ed Show. If yo u kn ow w hy yo u sho uld listen t o Ed 's show give a ca ll, he as ks himse lf th e sa me qu esti o n. KZFR Evening News: hosted by Marc Albert, Mo nd ay throu gh Thursday at Spm and Friday at 6pm. Th e show prov id es an ind epend ent perspecti ve about global issues and kee ps co mmunity members abreast of issues in Ca lifornia, all in 28 minutes. Why tun e in? To st ay inform ed and try out a new news so urce . Listen to pro fessional news on intern ati onal top sto ri es pro du ced by Pacifico and Notional Native News, a fi ve minute round -up of pertin ent inform ati o n for nati ve peo ple across th e United St ates and Ca nada.

Creole Stomp: hosted by rotatin g DJ s- David Sa mu els, Ho nd o, Kyle Porter, and Bill DeBlanc-eve ryWe dn esday ni ght from lOpm t o Midni ght. Creole Stomp is Lo ui siana mu sic fro m th e so uth ern bo rd er of Appalac hi a to th e North ern bo rd er of th e Ca ribb ea n. This mea ns brass band s, jazz, zydeco, mardi gras, and rh ythm and blu es. Yo u get raw indi ge no us mu sic th at is not played anyw here else .

- More Albert

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JANUARY 26 - FEBRUARY 2, 2014

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PREVIEW

SPORTSBALL

CAROLYN WONDERLAND RE-ROCKS THE BIG ROOM THIS WEDNESDAY

BY DAN O'BRIEN - AMALGAMCONSULTING@GMAIL.COM

THE STONER BOWL

BY JAIME O'NEILL

I've seen Carolyn Wonderland perform live several times, in the dark of night and in the glare of a hot July afternoon. I interviewed her in advance of her first Chico appearance a few years ago, and I am an unabashed fan of her blazing guitar work, her fierce vocals, and her no-bullshit sensibility. Because I'm a fan, I plan to be there when she returns to the Sierra Nevada Big Room this coming Wednesday, January 29th. She's a road warrior, playing gigs all over the place all the time, but never losing her passion for the music she makes, never stinting on a performance, never holding back. When we last spoke, she said of her time on the road : "I'm in the million mile club as the driver, and I'm insanely proud of that on the one hand, but on the other I think of how much crap I've put into the atmosphere driving all those miles." She's passionate about her politics, the kind of woman willing to go to jail for what she believes. She went to jail, in fact, protesting the war in Iraq just before that war was launched. She's also applies her talents to an ongoing round of benefit concerts to feed the homeless in and around Austin. Texas is her home, and on some songs she seems to be channeling that other fierce Lone Star vocalist-Janis Joplin. On Peace Meal, her most recent CD, she covers one of Pearl's songs, along with a bunch of her own.

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I'm far from being Carolyn Wonderland's biggest fan. Bob Dylan has also been pretty outspoken in his admiration. When I asked her how it felt to be admired by Bob Dylan, she said : "Whenever I have those moments when I think, 'Oh God, I really suck,' I remember that Dylan likes me and then I think I must be ok." It's always surprising to learn about the self-doubt harbored by people who seem, from an outsider's perspective, to have no reason at all to doubt themselves. But it is, most probably, the relentless self doubt that makes them so good, and keeps them growing. The last time I saw Carolyn Wonderland play the Big Room, she broke a string on her guitar (she plays with such energy it's surprising she doesn't break strings on every song). She played out the tune with five strings, then replaced the broken string in an instant, kneeling with her back to the audience as she re-tuned. A fan came to the edge of the stage to say something to her, but her concentration on tuning was intense, and she held a finger up to the guy, silently asking for a moment to finish what she was doing. It was a tiny episode in that great night of music, but it struck me as a testament to the dedication great musicians so often exhibit. Fans are important, but fealty to the craft comes first. The Big Room is the place to be this Wednesday night if you haven't yet heard Carolyn Wonderland practice her craft in person.

JAN UARY 27 - FEBR UARY 2, 2014

This year's Super Bowl is significant for a variety of reasons. First : less than 15 percent of teams that win the Super Bowl were a one seed during the regular season; which is a way of saying they had the team with the best record in the league. On February 2nd, we have the distinction of having both the NFC and AFC represented by the best record in their respective conference. Secondly : if Peyton Manning were to lead the Broncos to victory on Super Bowl Sunday, he would be the first quarterback in the history of the league to lead two different teams to a Super Bowl victory. That is pretty juicy stuff. Now, what about this Stoner Bowl nonsense? This joyous occasion has yet another wonderful caveat : it features two teams whose state legalized marijuana this year. To put a finer point on it, they are the only states to have legalized marijuana. You would figure California had that market cornered, but we do not. So, cannabis aficionados have a reason to tune in this year, even if they are not normally swayed to watch America's favorite sport. Rutherford, NJ is going to be a disastrous location for a Super Bowl, as temperatures will dip into the 20s and there is a chance of blustery weather, complete with snow. This may make for a very interesting contest between the number-one defense

in the league, led by the vociferous Richard Sherman, and a record-breaking passing season led by Peyton Manning. Inclement weather can certainly change things in a hurry. Richard Sherman has become a topic of debate among casual fans and sports pundits alike. His game-saving tip (unless you are a Niners fan) became a passionate moment when he announced to the world that he was "the best corner in the league." Say what you will about the rest of the game (and I'm sure Niners fans would rather not relive the experience), but it came down to that last moment. The vitriol levelled at Sherman has bordered on threatening. I think there is an argument to be made for him actually being the best corner in the league, probably even the best defensive back. It is the odd hatred that has been directed at him for showing passion in a heated moment on the final play of an important game that puzzles me. Granted, the "mediocre" comment and personal attacks detract from what his team did (and he has since apologized for that); I think making sweeping statements about personal play is par for the course in the NFL. If you recall, Jim Harbaugh claimed that Crabtree had the best hands of any receiver ever only days before. Anyway, I should probably call the Super Bowl. I'm going with Broncos over the Sea hawks on a cold, but relatively uneventful day, to the tune of 27-16.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM


presented by

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JA NUA RY 27 - FEBR UA RY 2, 2014

11


Closed. We need to drink, too!

Closed

MON

TUE WED

THU FRI SAT SUN

JANUARY 26 - FEBRUARY 2, 2014

from 4-7PM

PBR $2.2S Everyday!

Nevada Drafts 3-6PM v$3.SO Dbl Wells 6PM -close $8 Dom Pitcher $9 SN Pitcher

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3

Closed

2 DOLLAR TUESDAY! Food & Drink specials! 11AM-2PM $2.SO SN & Dom Drafts

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.2S Everyday !

Kami shots

WING WEDNESDAY! $2 for 3 Wings $2.SO SN Pint All Day

8PM-Close $3.50 Fireball, Jim Bea m, Captain Morgan and Jameson Come see our beautifu l Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3

SoCo PROMO lOPM - Midnight

Food Truck Friday: Pop's Pizza wood-fired pizza 's mad e to order on the patio. Happy Hour from 4-6.

$3 20oz Slushies $2 12oz Slushies $2 Wells, Drafts and Bartender Specials $S Vodka Red Bull

We open at 12:00pm. Kentucky Bucks are $5 until 5pm!

Bartender Specials $3 14oz Slushies $4 20oz Slushies

WE OPEN AT 12:00PM MIMOSAS WITH FRESH SQUEEZED OJ FOR $S UNTILSPM.

11-2PM $2.50 Dom

& Sierra Nevada Drafts 3-6PM

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR $2.2S Everyday!

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.2S Everyday!

$3.SO Dbl Wells 8-close $3 Soccer Moms $5 Smirnoff Blasters $5 DBL Roaring Vodka 11-2PM $2.SO Dom &

Sierra Nevada Drafts 3-6PM $3.SO Dbl Wells 8-Close $2.SO Dom & SN Drafts

Two Dollar Tu esdays ! $2 PB Rs $2 Tacos!

Chicken Strip Sand only $6.SO before 6 PM

Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F

Pitch ers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans Pool Rates Cut in 1/2 !

Drafts $3.50 Dbl Wells &

Closed

$6.SO Pulled pork sand w/ fri es or salad 25 cent wings from halftime 'til they're gone! MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE BEER $3/4/S/6 $1 SHOTS FREE Pool after lOPM

$1.00 off Sierra and Dom

2-close $2.50 wells & Dom

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3

Angry Mondays! Angry Orchard specials $6 angry hot wings Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitch ers $1.00 off PBR & Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2 !

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR $2.2S Everyday!

Open at llAM ! Bloody Mary Bar Noon-6PM $8 Dom Pitch er $9 SN Pitcher 8PM-Close $6.SO DBL calls

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR $2.2S Everyday !

10AM-2PM $5 Bottl es of Champagne with entree $4.SO Bloody Mary $S.SO Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.2S Everyday!

Chicken Waffle Wed.! 8 ball Tourn ey 6pm sign-up Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitch ers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2 !

DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm $1 Beer $1 Wells $2 Doubles FREE Pool after lOPM

Reube n Sand w/ fries or salad $6.50 Spm-Close 1/2 off kids items 8pm-Close Pitcher Specials $6/$9/$12 FREE Pool after lOPM

Jazz Night! Chico Jazz Collective 8-midnight Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitch ers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2 !

Baby Back Ribs $10.99 Philly Cheesesteak $7.SO

Rock Out at The DL! Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @llam All ages untill lOpm

10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/ Fries or Salad & Garlic Bread $8.99 8pm-Close $4 Jager $S DBL Vodka Red Bull $6 Jager Red Bull $2 Kamikaze shots FREE Pool after lOPM

Rock Out at Th e DL! Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @llam All ages untill lOpm

Baby Back Ribs w/Salad,

Super Bowl Sunday: Bronco Burgers and Sea Chicken Tuna melts $8 1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans

6pm-Close $4 Grad teas $3 All beer pints FREE Pool after lOPM

Fries & garlic bread $10.99 8pm-Close $4 Single/$6 Double Jack or Captain $2 Sierra Nevada FREE Pool after lOPM $S.19 Grad/Garden/ Turkey Burger w/fries or salad Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call, $S Top, $6 Goose Mimosas $2/flute, $S/pint $6 Be er Pitchers FREE Pool after lOPM

WEDNESDAY 9PM

FRI.DAY 4-7PM

DJ SPENNV &JEFF HOWSE

THE PUe路 SC0 UTS

DANCE NIGHT 12

Daily Happy Hour

Mon-Fri happy hour 11-2PM $2.50 Dom & Sierra

HAPPY HOURI

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J.OES cf~; ~~if9'.9 ~ ~ C HI C O

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BEAR-E-OKE

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select bottles & drafts BURGER MADNESS! Bea r Burger with fri es

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$2.7S

EVERY DAY Happy Hour- 4-7pm $1.7S Pints, $1.00 Shots, 1/2 off all Single cockta ils,

or sa lad for $5.29.

$1.00 Food items

llam-lOpm.

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BEA R W EA R! 1/2 off while wea rin g

$2 All Day $2 Select Sierra Nevada or

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$2 Kamis -any flavor

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Lounge

V1pu1tra

$2 Marqis

CLOSED

$3 Cuervo Marqis

$2.50 Corona's & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM $1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $2 we lls

Happy Hou r-4-7pm Buck

Progress ive Night!

night 9pm-lam

8-lO PM $1 Sierra Pale

CLOSED

Ale, Dom estics, Rollin g Rock & well coc ktails up lOPM-close 25C per

hour-close Mon-Sat free poo l 6-8PM

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TRIKE RACES!

All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3

Post time @ lOpm .

All Day

Win T-shirts and Bea r Bucks. MUG CLUB 4-lOPM

GAME NIGHT 9-llPM $3Tea of the Day Bartender Specials

Happy Hour- 4-7pm

1/2 off all coc ktails, $1.7S Drafts, Guest bartenders eve ry wee k

Happy Hour 4-Bpm

$2.50 Pinn acle Cocktails $2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada Half Off Rockstar Cocktails

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Happy Hour 11-6PM $2. 75 se lect bott les & drafts $216oz We lls

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$2.50 Fireba ll Shots $2.50 Pints of Sierra

Nevada $5.50 Doubl e Pinnacle Vodka & Red Bull $3 Double Well Cocktails

Half Off Rocksta r Cocktails $2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada $3 Featured Shot of the Night

HALF OFF EVERYTHING (Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors)

LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY $4.99 ! Mon-Sat lOpm - lam.

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Call To Rent For Private Party Go Down Lo

BURGER MADNESS! Bea r Burger with fri es or salad for $5.29. llam-lOpm.

Free Happy Hour Food 4PM until it's gone

9pm-Close $2 12oz Teas $3 20oz Teas $2 Well, Dom Bottles & bartend er Specials SS Vod ka Red Bull lOPM - Midnight

$3 Tea of the Day Bartend er Specials

Happy Hour- 4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-Spm Most food items and pitch ers of beer are $5

$3 Tea of t he Day

Happy Hour- 4-7pm Hot dog menu all day 11am-8pm, All Day and All Night Tall cans of beer (24oz) $3.50, $2 Capri sun Shots, All Teas $3.50, Tea Party 9-llpm 32oz Teas are $2.SO

Happy Hour 11-6PM select wells, bottles and pints $2.7S

$4 Sex On The Beach $4 Sierra Nevada Knightro ON TAP $1 Jello Shots 7-lOPM $3 Rumpy, Jager and Fireball

$4 World Famou s Bloody Joe $5 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka

Happy Hou r- 4-7pm SO cent we ll drinks 9-lOpm $2 Kamis, $2 Fireball, $3 Cherry Blasters, $2 bottle Bee r lOpm-lam

Bartend er Specials Footba ll Specials: Bucket of Beer Baca rdi Cocktails Skyy & Red Bull

Brunch lOam - 2pm Football Specials

Happy Hour- 4-7pm Champagne Brun ch 930am-lpm, Every Nfl Game (20 Tv's), $3 Bloody marys, $3 screwdrivers, $5 pitchers of beer

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Bu ck Night 8-close $1 well cocktails, Sierra Nevada Pal e Ale, Rolling Rock, dom draft $3 Black Butte SS Vod ka Red bull

$3 Hot Licks $4.50 Doubl e Baca rdi 8-9 PM $1 pale ale and dom draft

up 25C per hour until close $6.50 Apple Cinnamon Cider

Happy Hour S-8PM WEST COAST SWING NIGHT 9PM

Happy Hou r 5-BPM $5 House Martinis $4 Glass of House Wine $3 We ll Cocktails 20% off wine by bott le $1 off Call liquor and bottl ed bee r

Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts 9PM-Close $3 Pal e Ale Drafts $9.75 Pal e Pitch ers

Happy Hour S-8PM $5 House Martinis $4 Glass of Hous e Wine $3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle $1 off Call liquor and bottl ed bee r

Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM

Happy Hour S-8PM

$1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $2 we lls Powe r Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts

9-Close Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pal e Pitchers

$5 House Martinis $4 Glass of House Wine $3 We ll Cocktails 20% off wine by bottl e $1 off Call liquor and bottl ed bee r

CLOSED

CLOSED

JANU A RY 26 - FEBRU ARY 2, 2014

13


THIS WEEK ONLY BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT TUESDAY, JANUARY 2STH

FRIDAY, JANUARY 31 5 T

THE STUNT DOG EXPERIENCE

THE GRAND REBIRTH NIGHT ONE

LAXSON AUDITORIUM

LOSTON MAIN

What do we want? DOGS! What do we want them doing? RIDICULOUS THINGS LIKE JUMPING THROUGH FLAMING HOOPS! When do we want it? 7:30pm. Premium/$28, Adult/$23, Senior/$21, Student/child/ $15

Lost celebrates their reopening after renovating the club with a new stage location and sound, The Rugs, The Laios, Broken Rodeo, plus a lot of other surprises. $5. 9pm

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15 T

SATURDAY, FEBRUARY 15 T THE GRAND REBIRTH

KZFR BENEFIT CONCERT

NIGHT TW O

CHICO WOMEN'S CLUB

LOST ON MAIN

Midnight North featuring Grahame Lesh, and the enigmatic Walking Spanish. Doors 7:30pm, show 8:30pm. Tickets are $12, available online at kzfr.org.

The second night of Lost's reopening celebration brings us Dead Winter Carpenters, Low Flying Birds, and Jess Braun. $12 advance tickets available at the Down Lo, $15 at the door. 9pm

OTHER NEW AND EXCITING THINGS 27 MONDAY Senator Theatre: Soulfly, w/Armed For Apocalypse. $18. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm

29 WEDNESDAY Cafe Flo: Steve Johnson and his Music Menu, a night of beautiful songs. 7-9pm Sierra Nevada Big Room: Carolyn Wonderland. $17.50. 7:30pm

30 THURSDAY Blue Room Theatre: Venus In Fur. $10. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm. Laxson Auditorium: Tommy Emmanuel, w/special guest Martin Taylor. Premium/$38, Adult/$33,

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JANUARY 27 - FEBRUARY 2, 2014

Senior/$31, Student/child/ $26. 7:30pm Senator Theatre: I ration, w/Natural Vibrations, The Movement. $16-$18. Doors 7pm, show 8pm Sierra Nevada Big Room: Free screening of Beer Hunter The Movie, a documentary about the acclaimed beer and whiskey writer Michael Jackson. Doors 6pm, film at 7:30pm

31 FRIDAY 1078 Gallery: Suns OfThe Pacific, Jive Coulis. $5. Doors 7:30pm, show 8pm Blue Room Theatre: Venus In Fur. $12/advance, $15 at the door. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm.

Cafe Flo: Jenny Lu Holder with her lndie-Blues, Randy morton and Friends. 7-lOpm Chico Women's Club: New Wave Prom. Dress in your best era-appropriate prom wear, king and queen will be announced at 11:30pm. DJ Mike Flanagan, special performances by Claudette de Versailles, Tribal Bellydance troupe Origin. Bar provided by KZFR. $8/advance, $10/door. Doors 8pm, show 8:30pm El Rey Theatre: Keep Chico Weird Talent Show. All ages The Maltese: CZ and The High Beamz. $7. 9pm The Tackle Box: Country music from Aces Up. $5.

1 SATURDAY Blue Room Theatre: Venus In Fur. $12/advance, $15 at the door. Doors 7pm, show 7:30pm. Downlo: Chico Music Photography Show. Local photographers show off pies from music events over the past year. Stubblegum and Sofa Kings, plus EastWind Bellydance. Free. 6pm El Rey Theatre: Keep Chico Weird talent show. $10/advance, $12 at the door. 7:30pm

2 SUNDAY 1078 Gallery: A Lot Like Birds, Sianvar (members of Hail The Sun}, Stolas, The Venetia Fair, Strange Habits. $10. Doors 7:30pm, show 8pm

SYNTHESIS WEEKLY. COM


ONGOING EVENTS

27 MONDAY

The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm Chico Women's Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until lOpm Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings. Janet Turner Print Museum: Pushing Boundaries: Expanding Horizons, national print competition. Maltese: Open Mic Night. Music. Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstock's: Spelling Bee for the Grownups. 6:30-7:30pm

28 TUESDAY Cafe Flo: Open Mic Singer-Songwriter Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm. Chico Women's Club: Yoga. 9-lOam. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:30-8:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+ DownLo: Game night. All ages until lOpm Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings. Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi and Friends. 6:30-8:30pm Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-lOpm Janet Turner Print Museum: Pushing Boundaries: Expanding Horizons, national print competition. LaSalle's: ' 90s night. 21 + Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke. 8:30pm-lam The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm

29WEDNESDAY 100th Monkey Cafe & Books:

Open Mic. All ages. 7pm Avenue 9 Gallery: Snow Goose Wildlife art exhibit. 12-Spm The Bear: Trike Races. Wint-shirts and Bear Bucks. Post time lOpm. Mug Club 4-lOpm Cafe Flo: Carey Robinson Trio. 5-7pm. Chico Women's Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm DownLo: 8 Ball Tournament. Signups 6pm Duffy's: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9pm. $1. Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings. The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm Janet Turner Print Museum: Pushing Boundaries: Expanding Horizons, national print competition. Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am Maltese: Friends With Vinyl! Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-lam Panama: Game Night. Free to play, prizes. 9-llpm The Tackle Box: Swing Dance Wednesday, classes 7-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana. 7-9pm Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm

30 THURSDAY Avenue 9 Gallery: Snow Goose Wildlife art exhibit. 12-Spm The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm Chico Theater Company: Grease. Adults/$20, kids/$12. 7pm Chico Yoga Center: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson .. 7:30-9:30pm DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. 8-llpm. All ages until lOpm Empire Coffee: Group show of

figure drawings.

The Graduate: Free pool after lOpm Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOpm. Signups start at 6pm Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8-llpm Janet Turner Print Museum: Pushing Boundaries: Expanding Horizons, national print competition.

8pm-midnight. Janet Turner Print Museum: Pushing Boundaries: Expanding Horizons, national print competition. Maltese: LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm Peeking Chinese Restaurant: Bass Mint. Weekly electronic dance party. $3. 9:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

LaSalle's: Thirsty Thursdays, featuring Mack Morris

1 SATURDAY

Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close.

100th Monkey Cafe & Books: Knit-

Panama Bar: Eclectic Nights. Buck night and DJ Eclectic. 9pm

The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover.

Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-lam

Cal Skate: Adults only skate night.

ting Circle. 2-4pm 9pm

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

$6. 18+.9-llpm

VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic performance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No Cover.

Chico Theater Company: Grease.

Adults/$20, kids/$12 . 7pm.

Woodstock's: Open Mic Night.

Dancing. 10pm-1:30am

31 FRIDAY 100th Monkey Cafe & Books: Acoustic Music Singer Songwriter Showcase. 7:30pm Avenue 9 Gallery: Snow Goose Wildlife art exhibit. 12-Spm The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris. 9pm-close. $2, $10 VIP The Bear: DJ Dancing No Cover. 9pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. llam Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music showcase. 7-lOpm. Chico Theater Company: Grease. Adults/$20, kids/$12. 7pm Chico Yoga Center: Friday Night Dance Jam with Mark Johnson. $10. 7-8:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays. Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm DownLo: Y, off pool. All ages until lOpm Duffy's: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour. 4-7pm Empire Coffee: Group show of figure drawings. The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party.

Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Sign-

ups noon, starts at lpm. The Graduate: Free Pool after

WARM UP THE WINTER AT SICILIAN CAFEI

lOpm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and 80s music. The Molly Gunn's

Revival! 8pm-midnight Janet Turner Print Museum: Pushing Boundaries: Expanding Horizons, national print competition. LaSalle's: 1980Now! 8pm Maltese: Burlesque with the Mal-

teazers! 9pm Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30pm-lam Scotty's Landing: Music Showcase. Open Mic hosted by Rich & Kendall . 5-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

2 SUNDAY Chico Theater Company: Grease . Adults/$20, kids/$12. 2pm Down Lo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until lOpm LaSalle's: Karaoke. 9pm Maltese: Walking Dead Viewing Party. 9pm The Tackle Box: Karaoke. 8pm

1020 MAIN STREET CHICO "-•?) 530.3~5.2233 (G••" FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

JA NUA RY 27 - FEBRUA RY 2, 2014

15


ON THE TOWN

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

OLD CROCK BY JAIME O'NEILL - JAIMEANDKARENONEILL@GMAILCOM

MAINTAINING CRED AS AN AMERICAN GUY

I'm not a football fan, though I've spent enough hours watching games to keep myself from being deported. As everyone knows, the government keeps tabs on everything connected with our electronic devices, so I know my TV is rigged to rat me out if I don't watch the minimum number of football games required to keep me listed as an American male in good standing. It's a widely understood rule of citizenship that those who fail to maintain enough viewing hours are designated as un-American, and thus subject to expulsion. If we don't watch football, the terrorists have won. I used to be in less jeopardy of deportation back when I was an avid consumer of alcoholic beverages. Like most American guys, I found that televised football provided a socially acceptable excuse to get loaded on weekends while engaging in ritualistic hooting and hollering with my fellow males, an activity generally assumed to confirm our status as committed heterosexuals. But once I gave up booze, the idea of spending Sunday afternoons indoors watching younger and infinitely more physically fit men concussively collide with one another began to lose appeal. Besides that, the ledger I kept hidden from my wife began to reveal the fact that my football bets were showing a distinctly unprofitable pattern. It also began to dawn on me that there was something irrational in the pride many of us guys were taking in the NFL team based in the city closest to where

16

JA NUARY 27 - FEBRU A RY 2, 2014

we lived. Why should we take pride in living in proximity to a place where there was a big tax-payer subsidized sports stadium that gouged us for tickets, parking, hot dogs, and beer? And how much had "we" actually contributed to victory when "our" team won? Since virtually none of the players we rooted for were born or reared in our communities, how was it we could take pride in what they accomplished by attempting to knock down their fellow helmeted millionaires? Aren't they all owned by wealthy people who usually don't even reside in the cities that built the Skyboxes for them, thus keeping wellheeled owners far from the rubes holding noisy tailgate parties out in the parking lot? The players who confer pride on us are not the product of our local coaches, schools, churches, or colleges. So what is it about these guys that makes them "ours"? How does their last minute field-goal triumph over another city's mercenaries make me superior to those poor schlubs who live nearer the metropolis that suffered that shameful civic humiliation? This coming Sunday, I'll be rooting for Seattle. I once lived an hour south of there, so it only makes sense to cheer the Sea hawks. I kinda liked Denver, but really, what pride could I take in athletes wearing the jerseys of such a distant city? I have spent a couple of hours in the Denver airport during layovers, but not enough to engender the civic pride that comes from actually having lived near that town. In any event, I will be watching the Super Bowl this Sunday, eating guacamole, and sipping non-alcoholic beverages in order to maintain my status as an American. I wouldn't want the NSA to catch me doing anything else during those consecrated hours.

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM


SCENE REPORT

IT'S ALWAYS THE FEELING, BUT NEVER THE WORDS

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

ON THE TOWN

BY BOB HOWARD

Down from the mountains. Coughing sawdust, chainsaws ringing in my ears; my arms are infected with poison oak. I look like a victim of Fukushima, or maybe a once a week Krokodil user. I'm supposed to be pricing steel and hassling over drug costs, but here I am at the Winchester Goose, performing a highly scientific study to determine how many tasters the bartenders will serve me before kicking me out. I'm on my third when I hear someone say: "Hey buddy." The jig is up ... but the bartender is washing silverware, completely unconcerned, and no one else is within whispering distance. It takes me a long moment to realize it is the Evil Twin Heretic tap-handle-a painted, grinning resin maniac, with wide eyes and hair on fire. "Try the Deviled eggs," he tells me. I say "okay" and now the bartender is looking at me, sideways. I slough it off and order the deviled eggs-extremely pleasing. I'm eating the fourth half when the Heretic pipes up again : "Go to the Coda show tonight." Heeding advice from a beer tap, the whole concept has me on the fence, but then I remembered the eggs. It was right on about those. Chico is haunted by ghosts. Over the course of the evening I see so many souls of the departed, flittering among us. They show up in the crowd, on-stage, and smoking out on the sidewalk. Ghosts represent the past, and they bring something else to the table-a folding together of tradition and modernity, the passing of a torch, the knowledge of the dead. There's a three dollar cover for the showtoo cheap. It's like the live music scene is stuck in a time warp. Everything else goes up: movies, baseball games, cable television; but you can scrape the change out of your couch and three talented bands will entertain you all night long. I guess the price is right because the place is packed even before Ugly as Hell, the first

French Reform Sisterhood s Ugly as Hell Thursday January 23rd Cafe Coda

band, plays a note. The four-piece blasts out a driving set of blues-based rockers and swampy creepers. Ugly as Hell is a timeless band-they could have been playing a blues bar in Muscle Shoals, Alabama, back in the 1950's, but here they are now. Logan Dunn's soulful vocals carry his songs, and then they shine when bass player Chloe Merritt's voice joins in. Sisterhoods followed with a pulsing set. Another four-piece, but the bass, guitar, drums and operatic singing of chanteuse Nikki Sierra is also accompanied by various electronic loops and melodies. The songs are simply orchestrated; built for maximum drama. The overall effect is both energizing and hypnotic. The band's powerful songs reach from one climax to the next. The final group of the night is French Reform-a dance act that isn't afraid to wear its eighties influences on its sleeve. The music-driven by keyboards oozing melodies, and Arie Jeffries' frantic, emotive vocals-is forlorn, manic, and eminently danceable. It slides into your backbone and makes you move. Early on Jeffries chants about everything falling down, and midway through the set the band is giving away ep's; free music and a three dollar cover charge. The band is a crystal-the sounds it generates are solid and perfectly formed. The music builds, grows, and stretches for crescendo. French Reform kisses you on the mouth, and you can taste the wine. Then they punch you in the stomach. The music ends with Jeffries intoning, " It's always the feeling, but never the words," a verse that sums up the difficulties of trying to describe music in print. The past becomes the present; it gets tilled under, only to re-emerge. Like an apple grown from seed, the tree never comes out the same way twice, but its roots are undeniable. Thursday night at Coda, for three measly bucks, the audience got to see the modern manifestation of generations of musical styling. I'm going to have to take the Heretic's advice more often.

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JAN UARY 27 - FEBRUARY 2, 2014

17


ON THE TOWN

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

TIME CAPSULE

CONFESSIONS OF A VIDIOT BY JESSE JACKSON

I heard a complaint a couple weeks ago while plowing through a sawdust burger and oil fries at Whitney which made me think. The girl at the next table, sporting her Delta Zeta colors like a Crenshaw Crip, was complaining about her boyfriend who she referred to as " the Vidiot." "The Vidiot," it seemed, had managed to con dense the entire purpose of his God-given existence into a 19 inch color screen and a Sega Genesis home entertainment system. That was it. And nothing else in his lifeincluding Miss Hair Bear (she of the poofy hairdo)-mattered. Her friends, of course, were meltingly sympathetic: "What a jerk!", "How cruel!", "Do you think he'd let me borrow Sonic 2?" But me and my friends simply looked at each other and guffawed mannishly. Ladies, since every other guy in the world will lie to you, it's up to me to set the record straight. Where there is testosterone, there is the Vidiot. Like Copenhagen dip, all-you-can-eat rib joints, and Nerf football games: it is a guy thing. When your boyfriend eschews the cuddle time he used to spend with you in favor of trying to get to the Bonus Ring Level, don't blame him. He is only responding to the most primal call of nature besides the need to snack : Videomania. Nobody is immune to this. I am conducting a running feud with my roommate Todd for the bragging rights crown of John Madden Football for the Super NES, and it has gotten extraordinarily ugly at times. For the record, Todd and I are intelligent, articulate, well mannered young men, but all the ' 90s guy crap goes right out the window when the power goes on. That's when Dr. Jekyll becomes Mr. Hyde, and the games really begin. The hostility level in Todd's room approaches Middle East or Tyson/G ivens proportions, and once that first kickoff takes place, there's no turning back. Ladies, it's not just a video game. It's a war. It's a matter of pride, honor, and courage. Life and death. Victory and status for the win ner, disgrace and humiliation for the loser.

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JANUARY 27 - FEBR UARY 2, 2014

Usually me. I got so obsessive about the ongoing Chargers vs Eagles matchup (Philly for me), I planned out my drives during class lectures instead of taking my usual catnaps. Talk about deranged! When video games come before Com 100 class snoozing, it's time to check yourself into the funny farm. I memorized defensive alignments, single back formation pass schemes ... ! took to mumbling, " 3-4 Monster Blitz." in my sleep. I had succumbed to the ancient curse of the Vidiot, and I was a goner. (I'm sure you ladies are thinking, "What an idiot! Why didn' t you just stop?" While fellas are wondering why I didn't go 4-3 zone. Yes, I know ...) Eventually I won. I admit it, I've joined the countless hordes of Vidiots everywhere, with a final score of Eagles 47, Chargers 42. I've gone directly to the fourth stage of addiction : acceptance. When they bury me, it'll be with a Raiders hat on my head and a controller in my hand. I'm a Vidiot and damn proud of it. (Note : the opinions expressed in this column are usually my own, and if you feel offended, you probably should. And a 4-3 safety cheat really stops the running attack. Adios.)

SYNTHES I SWEE KLY. COM


CONSIDER THE PLATYPUS

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

BY MONA TREME

ON THE TOWN

FIFTEEN CRAZY DAYS

Around this time of year, you might hear a bit about how Chinese New Year is coming up. If you're an idle collector of multi-culti factoids like me, you may even know a little about its trappings-the red envelopes, the parades with fireworks and dancing dragons, that sort of thing. Since these words are going out into the world in irretrievable print form (destined, in at least two cases, for reading before becoming birdcage liner), I wanted to sound semi-knowledgeable in mentioning this upcoming holiday. Besides, it's only celebrated by the most populous country in the world-along with other nations, and cities within yet other nations-and is possibly even more all-encompassing in their culture than Christmas is in ours. So, ya' know, no big deal. Just the Wikipedia page alone was an education. Did you know the full observance goes on for 15 days, with specific goingson for each day? I totally didn't. (And now I no longer envy people who celebrate Hanukkah-this party's twice as long!) The day we passingly equate with Chinese New Year is only the official start, and that day varies because China uses the lunar calendar for some of its scheduling, including their New Year. Since you asked, it's on the 31st this year. You're welcome. Pretty much the only thing Chinese astrology has in common with Western astrology is that it also has twelve zodiac signs that are said to dictate various aspects

of a person's life. 2014 is a Horse year, so apparently this is a good year in general for travelling and self-improvement. If your Chinese sign is the Horse, you're said to be extroverted, hardworking, and plain-spoken. I take Chinese astrology with an even bigger grain of salt than I do our version, but it is fun to learn someone's sign and compare them with the declared traits of their zodiac. For example, I'm a Dog-loyal, contemplative, piss-stubborn. An Eastern fortune-teller wouldn't confuse me for a highly-ambitious Rat or an appearance-oriented Snake, even though both of them also claim traits I can relate to. But it makes a nice little icebreaker, doesn't it? Now you know something about me. Hi, how ya doin'. What started as a casual dig for fun-sized bits of trivia for this article turned into a clickfest that would've made my Asian Studies instructor cry tears of joy. There was so much about Chinese New Year I didn't know, and it was fun to fall down this rabbit hole of research. (Yeah, I'm also a nerd. Hi, how ya doin'?) Global consumer culture, with its apparent goal of planting Starbucks and McDonalds in every nation that can buy their products, hasn't happened to the extent that some want us to think it has. It's good to remember that there are traditions, ancient as well as more modern, still going strong out there in spite of it. Learning even a little about them can be a sweet, subtle "fuck you" to creeping homogenization. So, on that note: Gong Xi Fa Cai!

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JANUARY 27 - FEBRUA RY 2, 2014

19


THE FUTURE'S PAST:

by

he sat almost right next to me but like two rows over, and for like a month before prom I made a point of talking really loudly about how I've never had herpes or anything so he would know I was good to go, and maybe wonder a little bit if the girls who didn't announce it maybe had herpes . Anyway, he totally looked at me and smiled , and I could tell there was something between us.

Anyway, like two other guys who were moderately cute asked me to promone of them was this guy I lived next door to growing up who's had a crush on me probably forever but he was sort of into that dorky New Wave scene, and the other one was this guy from my remedial math class who always talked to me about this motorcycle he claimed to own but I never saw him riding anywhere-but I said no to both of them because I was waiting for Chris to get the courage to ask me. But the worst possible thing that has happened in the history of the world happened-he asked that bitch Stacy Michaels , who I'm pretty sure was like 20 years old posing as a high school student like on 21 Jump Street because her skin was like way too perfect and her boobs were enormous. They're probably fake . She probably has herpes, too.

N Muf FY MULLIG A ft

am like, So. Fricking . Bent.

I

So, first of all , I totally missed my junior prom because my stupid boyfriend got Mono, which is super fishy because that 's obviously the kissing disease , but when I asked him who he had been mashing with , he acted all harshed and asked me who I had been mashing with , and then we fought for like three hours about who was being the bigger dingus, and then we ended up breaking up like a week before prom, and it was totally too late for anyone half decent to ask me even if they wanted to, and I totally had to just stay home and watch Pretty In Pink. And even she got to go to prom and she was like totally the biggest loser but the guy she liked fell in love with her and they totally kissed in front of his car in the parking lot, and that should 've been ME .

So, the next year I was like, "Hey, it is my Senior. Fricking . Year. I am going to wear the prettiest dress with the puffiest sleeves you 've ever seen, and I am going to win Prom Queen and I am going to dance in the spotlight with Chris Chapman , who is the captain of the football team , and is definitely going to win "best eyes," and his hair feathers perfectly, and we are going to have babies someday.'' So like, Chris and I had Health class together and

20

JANUARY 27 - FEBRUARY 2, 2014

keep having my prom dress let out for no reason. So, anyway, a couple weeks ago I ran into my old neighbor, and he asked me to go to this crazy New Wave Prom for grown-ups that th is chick Molly Roberts is throwing at the Women 's Club. So like , I totally had to choose between never going to prom at all , or going to this totally weird alt-prom where everybody is probably going to have purple streaks in their hair or something , and my totally perfect dress is all wrong , and Chris won't even be the re to tell me how he's really in love with me. Anyway, I had to find out what New Wave actually was before I decided if I wanted to go so I wouldn 't look like a total idiot. I guess it's like , sort of punk and sort of pop but not really? I asked like 20 people and none of them really knew; they were just like "Duran Duran! " Or "The Talking Heads! " Or "Blondie! " But then my one friend was like, "It's like all the music from every John Hughes movie, plus a lot of funky dresses and androgynous dudes who have feelings and stuff." And then I kinda felt like my Pretty In Pink fantasy was back on the table , so I decided to say yes and started cutting up my dress so I could turn it upside down and sew a bunch of lace onto it. Before I knew it, it was Friday the 31st, and my totally awesome dress was done. So I called Mark up and was like, "Hey Mark (my old neighbor's name is

1

So I was like, "OK ... maybe it's not too late for us. Maybe I can go with someone else, but when I walk in he'll see me standing there and he'll walk over to me all slowly and say something like 'I'm glad you came .' and I'll be like 'Why aren 't you dancing with Stacy Michaels? ' and he'll be like 'I only asked her to make you jealous.' and then he'll kiss me while that song 'If You Leave' plays." But then It turned out that the guy from my math class got in a motorcycle accident and was like paralyzed or doesn't have legs anymore or something, and then my neighbor changed his mind about even wanting to go to prom. So, for like five more years after graduation I tried dating high school guys in the spring so that maybe I could finally go, but they were all crazy or their moms were totally too much drama to even waste my time on . Anyway, it just never worked out and I had to

I thought it must have been embarrasing for him to obviously not have enough money for a limo, or have the ability to find a girlfriend Mark), I have great news. I will totally go to prom with you tonight. You can pick me up in a limousine at 6:30 to take me to dinner. My favorite flower is a pink carnation and my favorite kind of corsage is wrist." But then he was like, "Oh , um, this is sort of a more casual prom , and I made plans to go with a group of friends and we're carpooling . But you're totally welcome to join us! " I thought it must have been embarrassing for him to obviously not have enough money for a limo, or have the ability to find a girlfriend after I had initially crushed his heart in high school , so I decided to make it easier for him by going along with the whole ruse of wanting to go with a group. Besides , at least if there were a lot of people going together it wouldn't be as big of a blow to him if I met someone and fell in love with them and had babies. Around 8:00 that night I was standing in my livingroom tapping the toe of my super uncomfortable pink stiletto on the floor (which is not even easy to do by the way, but I find theatrics to be very important), when this disgusting van pulled up in front of my house. The sliding door opened up and Mark tumbled out with like three other guys. He was wearing one

SYN TH ES I SWEEKLY.COM


could totally feel myself getting pregnant already. He started walking toward me like he was all unconcerned , and I started walking towa rd him. It was everything I had pictured, but then I had this total inspired moment like we were Baby and Johnny at the end of Dirty Dancing, so I just started running and closed my eyes and leapt with my arms out to the sides . And , well. ..I feel like it's pretty obvious that I was wrong about the leap. But that wasn't actually the worst part. People were all crowded around, trying to pick me up off the floor while I wiped the blood off my nose. I scanned their faces looking for Chris , feeling totally panicked that I had missed my one big chance. It was in that moment that I heard a voice come on over the PA . It was 11 :30; time to announce the Prom King and Queen . I was scrambling to my feet, slipping on the smeared blood that had pooled on the floor where I fell. "Chriiiis!" I shrieked . "CHRllllllllS!" "And our winners tonight for Prom King and Queen are .. .Chris Chapman (gasp!) and .. .Mark Neighbors! " of those tuxedo t-shirts, and he did not even have a corsage. Like, at all. My little sister started laughing so hard Diet Pepsi came out her nose and then she started screaming, "It burns! It burns!" You might think that this was the reason I'm so mortified, but the seriously heinous part of the night was yet to come. I climbed into the van-which I should mention did not even have seats for everyone and I had to sit on Mark's lap (convenient)-and we headed down to the Women's Club on 3rd and Pine . The next awkward moment of the night came when we got to the door. The chick was like, "Tickets?" So I look at Mark, and Mark looks at me-right in the eye-and he hands a the girl a single ticket and then just stands there staring at me. And I'm like, "Um, was that the only ticket you had?" And he was like, "Yeeeaaah . I got mine a week ago at Bootleg." And I was like, "Well , you totally asked me to prom ." And he was like, "Well , I told you about the prom, and suggested you might have fun ... " And I was like, "Well , I didn't even bring a purse with me." And he was like, "Okaay .. .well, I guess I at least saved a couple bucks getting the first one in advance." And he handed the chick a ten . So, I sort of get him trying to weasel around paying for me, since he's obviously poor and everything, but the thing with pretending he wasn't crazy gaga over the fact that we were finally on a date was getting super tiresome. Like, just admit you're having the best night of your life . Anyway, once we got through that weirdness, it seemed like the night was really looking up. There were a ton of people there , and I had to admit they were wearing some pretty awesome clothes. Especially the opening performer, some chick named

Claudette de Versailles , who was like, totally even taller than my dad . Then the re was this crazy performance by all these bellydancers. I don't even know what they were doing at a prom , but it was a totally awesome idea to have all kinds of really good dancers at a dance . There was this DJ named Mike Flanagan (I guess he's like, super into New Wave, and has done a bunch of these proms up in Redding or something . And I heard that he and Molly Roberts put one on last year at this bar called the Maltese, and everybody was super pumped for it), and he was playing pretty much every song I love. I'm talking about "My Sharona," and "Whip It," and "Rock Lobster," and "Karma Chameleon," and all the best songs ever written . There was a photo booth with this awesome photographer named Melanie MacTavish, and KZFR had set up a bar...it was pretty much everything you could want from a regular prom only way cooler. I was doing all the dances I know : the Electric Slide , the Alf, the Bedrock, the Moonwalk, that thing Molly Ringwald does in The Breakfast Club, the Cabbage Patch , the Robot, the Dolphin, the Truffle Shuffle, the Snake, the Worm , the Walk Like an Egyptian ... And then it happened . I saw him . There was Chris . Frickin . Chapman, standing there on the other side of the dance floor. I am not even kidding that OM D's "If You Leave" started to play; it was like something out of a dream. He turned his head and I swear to God his hair totally swished in slow motion as he flipped it away from his eyes that are totally the best eyes . He was looking right at me , and my heart started beating out of my chest. I

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"NO!" I screamed. "Nononononononooooooo ... "and then I collapsed in a heap of pink and red taffeta. How could Mark even do this to me? How could Chris? It's not like they're actually gay and that's why they slow danced and stared deeply into each other's eyes-I would 've known because I'm very perceptive-they were just doing this to humiliate me for some reason . Or maybe it was just a joke? Just a really funny joke and I was a part of it? I started laughing, louder and louder as I stumbled toward them , my outstretched hands covered in the blood that was still pouring from my face . They didn't even seem to notice me. Suddenly I was knocked in the side of my head by what turned out to be a swift roundhouse from one of the bellydancers. Apparently that's why they were really there, some kind of prom-royalty secret service detail. They dragged me to the cu rb outside and left me there. This was the worst, most humiliating night of my life, and yet. ..if I really thought about it, that was the Best. Prom . Ever. Next year I'm going to totally win Prom Queen by telling everyone Mark has herpes.

New Wave Prom, Chico Women's Club Friday January 31st doors Spm, opening show 8:30pm, then dancing forever (or until midnight, whichever comes first). Tickets $8/advance, available at Bootleg & Ultra Beautician, or $1 O/door

JA NUA RY 27 - FEBRU A RY 2, 2014

21


5

H

JANUARY 27 - FEBRUARY 2 BY KOZ MCKEV

ARIES

TAURUS

GEMINI

CANCER

LEO

VIRGO

You'll need to start listening to that little voice inside of you. Pay more attention to dreams and the messages that they contain. This is a week of taking care of business while affirming good people connections. The Year of the Horse will bring rapid change. Try not to be defensive when people confront you. Listen to older friends. The weekend will be good for laying low and visiting people that have been incarcerated or shut in due to illness. Make plans for the future.

Many things that have been held up or pent up in your life will begin to move forward. Venus goes direct Friday at 12:49pm PST. Perhaps you'll feel a renewal in your ability to love. Your creative mojo will begin to burn again. Responsibility is back on your shoulders. The Year of the Horse brings a sense of community and neighborhood. Avoid the gossip and do what you can to lift up those around you. Career opportunities begin to expand as you exhibit the desirable traits people are looking for.

This time of year begins to put the wind in your sails. A sense of invigoration and hope resonates in the air. Foreign languages, foreign travel and attacking difficult subjects becomes easier for you. There is a sense of luck and good fortune around you. This is a time to look forward rather than to look back. The Year of the Horse is said to be somewhat Gemini-like, bringing you an easier go at things. Your quick wit and intelligence will be recognized by others. Move ahead with your plans.

We can't always control the things that happen to us. There are times when we are subject to the whims of others. The one thing we can control is our own attitude. Begin the week by negotiating the things you want. Deal with difficulties in the home on a case by case basis. The Year of the Horse helps you to move quickly in regards to your personal goals. Remain flexible in the face of adversity. The weekend looks good for a mini-vacation or for working on creative projects.

Embrace all that seems to be the opposite of you. This is an exercise in compassion and soul expansion. Learn to be comfortable and honest about your weaknesses. Respect will come through transparency verses covering things up. Last week's information may prove true at a future date. Roll with the punches. Try notto fight back. The Year of the Horse will be good to those that can play both sides of the fence without giving in to being disingenuous, or two faced.

Sincere gratitude and service are your gifts this week. Be ready to come to the aid of others. Team work, charitable causes, and working on health issues are worth exploring. Tuesday and Wednesday are power days for you this week. Be motivated by matters of the heart. The Year of the Horse brings positive social contacts, an ability to successfully plan for the future, and powerful group alliances. Learn to express your own needs in a diplomatic manner. Partnership issues change in the month ahead.

LIBRA

SCORPIO

SAGITTARIUS

CAPRICORN

AQUARIUS

PISCES

You are in your power and all systems appear to be go. You are somewhat uncomfortable moving independently, yet at this point this is what is required in order for you to move forward. Other people will see things your way in good time. Being a leader means being able to take the flack. The Year of the Horse will affirm your leadership qualifications. Whether we are talking Jimmy Carter or Ghandi, Libras' leadership makes a difference. Try and keep peace at home during your transitions.

You 've been in a more introspective place recently. The battle you face is more spiritual than one of flesh and blood. Pray for your enemies. Small minds move in small circles. Nothing is likely to stay the same forever. Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it. The Year of the Horse brings rich opportunities for travel and education. Have faith during new or uncomfortable situations. Stay the course of what you see as necessary to make progress. The weekend looks good for romance and travel.

Learn to bloom where you are planted. As a Sagittarian it's natural to think that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence. Make the grass greener around you by committing to making things better. The Year of the Horse will put power in other peoples hands from which you need to negotiate. There will also be a greater appreciation of life's mysteries, birth, sex and death. The moon will be in Sagittarius on Monday. Work with friends and neighbors and watch the progress begin.

Once again you find your values being in focus. You are what you eat, especially in winter when physical activity tends to slow down. Avoid sugar and processed foods. Vegetable oils are the enemy along with most preservatives . Spend money on things that reflect your highest aspirations. If that happens to be big tobacco and soda pop I feel sorry for you. The Year of the Horse will challenge your notion of romance and partnership. Be the kind of person that you would like to be involved with .

Happy Birthday season continues for you. Knowledge is your key virtue. Make it a point to dive deep into subjects that you appreciate. Your career life continues to move forward. Travel and educational goals are at the top of your list. The Year of the Horse brings opportunities to serve others and to be part of a team project. Health issues need to be paid attention to. Try not to speak too soon before the verdict is up. Changes happen quickly and adjustments are likely to be made.

Confidence is not something you are known for. Yet, your compassion for others helps to bring about a sense of enduring confidence and hope all around you. This is a time where you are more likely to be introspective and in need of more sleep. You are extra sensitive and shouldn 't deny your body of its needs. The Year of the Horse will help you to rise up as a leader and an inspiration for others . You'll also get more opportunities to have fun. Mental clarity comes to you towards the end of the week.

Koz McKev 1s on You Tube, on cable 17 BCTV, 1s heard on 90/FM KZFR Chk:o, and also available by appOJi7tment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozm!C:kev@sunset.net

GREAT WINTER READ Winter Melon, written by local writer Bill Wong Foey A defiant and passionate young woman survives the Rape of Nanking in this debut novel. Voted Book of the Month for July by Lyons Books "Lives of Asia" book group. In paperback online at Amazon.com and Lyons Book Store, 135 Main Street, or as an e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes and DirectMusicCafe. ADVERT ISEMENT

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