sxnth~~rn FEBRUARY 3 - FEBRUARY 9 For 20 years The Synthesis' goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.
PUBLISHER Kathy Barrett kathy@synmedia.net
MANAGING EDITOR Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net
CREATIVE DIRECTOR Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net
ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Alex Light Alex@synthesis.net SynthesisWeekly.com/submit-your-event/
DESIGNERS Colin Leiker, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net
DELIVERIES Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti
CONTRIBUTING WRITERS Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Howl, Jaime O'Neill, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Dan O'Brien, Negin Riazi, Jayme Washburn, Eli Schwartz, Mona Treme
PHOTOGRAPHY Jessica Sid Vincent Latham
NERD Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net
FROM THE MOUTHS OF BABES
BURLESQUE IN SPACE
Meet the Malteazers, the all-inclusive house troupe of the Maltese Taproom, and get the low down on what burlesque is all about from the dancer's point of view. If you're looking for a new addiction, you might just want to give it a try for yourself. At the very least go to a show; there will be boobs. Cover photo by Vince Latham.
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Everybody in Outerspace has been to Japan, and now they just want to stay in Room 213. What's the worst that could happen? Can burlesque tease the edges of our most primal fear-mortality itself-and still be funny and sexy? Damn right it can, especially when choreographed by the lovely and talented Eva Blanshei.
ACCOUNTING Ben Kirby
DIRECTOR OF OPERATIONS Karen Potter
OWNER Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net The Synthesis is both owned and published by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions.
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One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is
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available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions
and the Synthesis. The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at
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95928. Email letters@synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.
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Vince Latham
FEBRUARY 3 - FEBRUARY 9, 2014
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PET OF THE WEEK ADOPT ME! Felicity is a shy girl but only until she gets to know you then she turns into a total cuddle bug. She loves to play and gets along with other cats that respect her boundaries.
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NOW HEAR THIS Synthesis Weekly Pla y list TANNER FLYING LOTUS - "PICKLED!" COLIN
PACO DE LUCIA - "ENTRE DOS AGUAS"
DAIN
DISCO CHURCH - "OPEN BUTT SURGERY"
HOWL
GOLDFRAPP - "YOU NEVER KNOW"
KATYA
JEM - "THEY"
MIKE
LIL JOHN - "DAMN"
AMY
MADELINE PEYROUX - "MUDDY WATER"
ALEX
TESSERACT - "APRIL"
LEOV 4
THE DESCENDENTS - "COOL TO BE YOU"
FEBRUARY 3 - FEBR UARY 9, 2014
LETTER FROM THE EDITOR
SORRY, GRANDMA Once upon a time I was invited to join a fusion-bellydance troupe that a new friend was trying to put together. It turned out to be a total disaster. Everyone had slightly different dance backgrounds, different ideas of what our style should be, and different thoughts on a name for the troupe (my favorite was Poop Pants Bellydance, because the big, baggy harem pants that were in style back then looked like you were carrying a load). By the end of the evening I had somehow realigned myself with a faction of two other dancers whom I'd never met before, but who seemed to be in the same phase I was in as far as having seriousness-fatigue. I was ready to goof around; to experiment with something dumb and embarrassing and bold. That night we ditched bellydance and created the Bumble-Butts Burlesque Experience (not really, but that would've been a great name). One of the girls (my future BFF Jezebel Junk), was around my age (27, at the time), and we had a striking amount of interests in common ... except that in every area she was way beyond me. She was happily married, and I was less happily long-engaged. She had a degree in anthropology, and I was on a streak of reading anthro books. She was a published poet, and I was a secret dabbler. She was an experienced burlesque performer, and I was newly burl-curious. Jez was like the woman I could've been if I had smoked less weed. The other girl was sort of a trip. She went by Sookie Cookie. She was chronologically 58 years old, but when you combined the facts that she'd had quite a bit of work done with her devil-may-care attitude and penchant for 25 year old men, she seemed younger than either of us (and many parts of her were). We started meeting up twice a week, and choreographed a few ridiculous dance numbers. There was a lot of butt shaking and naughty surprised faces and whatnot. It was all going swimmingly, so Sookie booked us our first gig for Valentine's Day. I don't exactly know what I expected, but when we got there, "there" turned out to
be this old victorian converted into a coffee house. There were folding chairs set up for about 20 people facing a grand piano, in front of which there was a 15 year old girl reading poetry for what appeared to be her ten sets of grandparents. "We go on next." whispered Sookie. It dawned on me in that moment that these were her peers; that for however young she looked and acted, inside (literally in her organs) she was one of them. Total mindfuck. Anyway, she didn't see anything inappropriate about dancing in front of these people, and if we were going to be friends and troupe-mates, neither could I. .. So we did it. We spread our knees and snapped them shut, we dipped and popped our booties back, we did high kicks three inches from grandma-number-seven's face. At the end it was silent for a moment, then a few seconds of polite clapping. We shuffled off to make room for the elderly flautist. Awkward. Burlesque is actually really fun and thrilling and gorgeous though (in the right setting), and Chico is home to more than one great troupe. This week we talked to a couple of the best. Get to know them, and go enjoy some sexy madness.
AMY OLSON - AMY@SYNTHESIS.NET SYNTHES I SWEE KLY.CO M
IMMACULATE INFECTION BY BOB HOWARD - MADBOB@MADBOB.COM
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Acid Trip I worked with a woman, years ago, who grew up in Minnesota. This was at a nursery in Southern California. My coworker had a ton of plant knowledge. She was also a self-described shaman who hinted at extrasensory perception and levitation skills. She'd attempted to homestead a plot in the Minnesota back country-a feat that requires maintaining a residence for seven years, year round-before abandoning the effort and relocating to San Diego. I suppose she had paid her dues and deserved all the eighty degree and sunny weather she could get. She told me that when she was growing up she used to drop acid and go ice fishing, meaning essentially that in sub-freezing temperatures, she sat in an outhouse-sized building, staring into a small hole cut into a frozen-over lake, and tripped balls. Talk about your set and setting. Guilt Trip When I watch the nightly news these days I feel guilty. The world is a crazy, spooky, violent place, and here I am living in a peaceful oak forest, spending my days writing, playing music, and, when I am working, working with friends. The rest of the country is buried in ice, wind, and snow, and we are enjoying a sort of endless spring-time here in the North State. We have a lot of good things up here, and also some serious necessities that, if current climate trends persist, everybody is going to want. We have
good soil, rich with nutrients as a result of countless millennia of flooding. We have plentiful water; it siphons out of the Sierra Nevada Mountains and flows into area streams, rivers, and aquifers. And we get a lot of sun. Those are the ingredients the world needs to create food. No food, no living.
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Future Trip The future is unwritten, but if I were a betting man who'd also happened to study basic statistics, I'd put money on the human population continuing to rise. Without any climate change at all that puts a strain on food production and supply. If things stay the same, water still gets scarce. Factor in potential dramatic climate change and those obvious trends become-how would you say-exaggerated? On the bright side, current and changing conditions could solve America's obesity epidemic in a hurry. Be Here Now Oh well, what can you do? Put your head down and do the good work, then put the blinders on and ignore the gathering turbulence that is swirling all around us all the time. Whistle a cheerful tune as you pass through the ever-expanding bone yard. I still can't determine if the world is mostly good, but we see the bad, or if it's mostly bad, but we focus on the good. Maybe it's right in the middle. Maybe the question is completely bogus. Good, bad, I suppose half the time it depends on who's asking, and where they happen to be standing at the moment.
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FEBR UARY 3 - FEBRUARY 9, 2014
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PRODUCTIVITY WASTED
H
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BY ELI SC HWA RT Z
MULTI PLAYER AND THE ART OF FENCING
We pay cash for your recyclables!! CRY ALUMINUM CANS $2.00/Pound
E-WASTE! We pay 5¢ per pound for TV's, Computers, Monitors and Laptops!! And, as acourtesy to our customers, we'll accept all other consumer electronics, such as lax machines, printers, VHS players, etc. as a drop-off, with no payments* * Some restrictions may apply Call for more information on getting cash for other recyclable materials.
There are plenty of ways to approach a competitive multi player game. First person shooters get by every few years by throwing in new guns and a few new mechanics, but rely primarily on skills and reaction. The ever-growing MOBA craze and its continual evolution into eSports further increases the necessity of study, reaction, and critical thinking already key in the act of competition. Classics like Mario Party randomize the hell out of everything and make an outstandingly easy Al (if you haven't seen the videos of Luigi winning minigames doing literally nothing, you're missing out on fine absurdity). Recent indie sensation Nidhogg, however, has earned bold praise for its competitive edge that puts most modern AAA games to shame. Nidhogg is a simple game where two pixelated stick figures murder one another with fencing swords. Yet it holds a curious ability to cause beads of sweat to materialize on the player's forehead, to cause passers- by to stop and watch the blows be traded and gouts of neon pixel-blood spray everywhere. In the game, the balance of power is on the head of a pin. It's not over until it's over. You've been disarmed, knocked down, and your opponent is strangling you? Snap out of that hold, get him on the ground, and finish him yourself. The sword play can go in only the cardinal directions, but the player can move too; you can throw your sword, you can punch your opponent in the face, you can dive-kick, somersault, and roll in the
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frantic murderfest that is Nidhogg. What makes the game special? Why is it putting to shame games that giant corporations (filled with real people, mind you) made over the course of years with ten times the budget? To grossly summarize, Nidhogg never lets the action cool, not for a second. Despite the simplicity of the mechanics, I played a 15 minute game and didn't find myself bored in the slightest.
Nidhogg keeps the game fun. By giving a multitude of ways to kill and be killed, the mechanics allow a certain amount of freshness, a sort of crop-rotation of blood splatter. The action is kept ever urgent by never allowing the game, or even a single life, to end until it's well and truly dead. It's very easy to come back from the brink of death with a few well placed dive-kicks and barrel rolls, unless your opponent is good enough to block you. The flow is interrupted only by split-second respawns, just barely enough to catch your breath and start forming a new plan of attack. It's the kind of game that spawns verbal outcries. Lots of oohs and aahs and take that motherfuckers. It's a perfect metaphor for what an ideal competition should be : a friendly fencing match. A game where every strike could go either way, where every decision is crucial, where nothing is ever finished, where time is at a premium, and every mistake can be met with laughter (and severed spines).
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
COMICAL RUMINATIONS BY ZOO EY MA E - ZOOEYMAE@SYNTHESIS.NET
MIND YOUR FARTS I got a lot of feedback about my column topic last week. Turns out, you people really love stories about farts. Who knew? Anywho, count yourselves lucky, because this week our first story comes to us from Germany and it's about farting cows. If you've ever wondered how many farting cows it takes to make a shed explode, the answer is 90. In Rasdorf, Germany, a static discharge ignited the methane gas that had been pumping out of those cow b-holes for who-knows-how-long. According to the Independent, "High levels of the methane gas had built up within the structure in the central German town of Rasdorf on Monday thanks to animals belches and flatulence, before 'a static electric charge caused the gas to explode with flashes of flames.' The subsequent blast damaged the roof of the cow shed, Reuters reported. Emergency services who attended the scene took gas readings to check for any potential further blasts."
Jesus, what are they feeding those cows? Farts? I think they 're probably feeding them farts. That's the only explanation, right? In a perfect example of technology being used badly, Japanese lingerie creator Ravijour has invented a bra that will open its clasp only when the wearer is experiencing "true love." A chastity belt for your tits, if you will. From their website, Ravijour explains, "When excited, the adrenal medulla secretes catechlomine, which affects the autonomic nerve, and stimulates the heart rate. A built-in sensor reads the women's heart-rate signal and sends it to a special app via Bluetooth for analysis. The app then calculates the True Love Rate based on changes in the heart rate over time. When the True Love Rate exceeds a certain value, the bra hook is opened automatically." I don't know, man. What if you were in the grocery store and you saw that mangoes were
finally in season? And you really, really love mangoes? Seems like an all around bad idea. Furthermore, what tech-savvy lady out there is having such a huge time keeping her lady parts under wraps that she actually needs a technological tool to keep them to herself? Definitely makes me wonder what the heck is happening in Japan. Although, I've been wondering that ever since I saw that they'd invented a weird lipstick stencil (see right). Lastly, I meant to do this last week, but I needed my full word count to accurately describe the sorority farts I experienced. Network administrator, office hijinks photographer, and all-around nice guy Dain Sandoval has taken a job at Chico State and is leaving the Synthesis team after working here for more than a decade. I first met Dain about eight years ago when I first started at Synthesis. Intelligent, funny, and a genuinely sweet dude, we'll miss the heck out of him.
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FEBRUARY 3 - FEBRUARY 9, 2014
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Standing "backstage"-if it can be called backstage when it's not behind the stage and there is no proper stage Cat (aka BamBam Chan) feels the belly-churning nerves that she's felt so many times before. The idea of performing half naked (or more than half) in front of a packed house has never felt more alien than at this moment. She's never considered herself brave, but in a way that 's the reason why she feels compelled to do this. Her fellow troupe mates are all around her: pressing on their false lashes with trembling hands, or scrambling to change costumes between their performances-a melange of corset ties and garters and pounding heartbeats ...just a typical Saturday. The thrill of burlesque is more than just the naughtiness-it's also a connection to the past, a chance to prove to yourself what you 're capable of, or to open doors to hidden parts of your personality. At the core of its enticement is that it's enigmatic. It's about revealing the artist while masking the artist. It's about offering the audience what it wants, but wants to think they can't have. It's about what the artists have, and aren 't supposed to want to reveal. It 's essentially ridiculous and creative and sexual-the essence of creation itself-and expressing creation creatively is so damn meta it's ridiculous. I might need to sit down, all this is making me dizzy. Burlesque originated in the sixteenth century, a term that meant comedic (often bawdy) satire or caricature, usually of literary or theatrical works. Sort of like if Weird Al were sending up Shakespearean plays and we were all chortling into our neck ruffs. Since then it 's gone through a gradual evolution, making its biggest turn during the
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age of Vaudeville to become a comedic satire of sexiness itself. There 's a funny thing about performing a caricature of sexiness though: it kind of becomes even sexier. One of the unique things about this dance (in an even more extreme way than other live performance arts) is the level of symbiosis between the dancer and the audience. Burlesque in a dead room is like one hand clapping (read my Letter From the Editor if you 'd like an example). It takes the crowd 's enthusiasm-their overboard reactions to every movement and facial expression-to feed the dancer and fill her up with enough raw energy to reflect it back into the room. True burlesque is beyond a set of dance moves and costumes, it's a shared experience where the performer is like a conductor moving the whole room in a symphony of howling and laughter. There are many reasons to take up this art form, and many ways to perform it. The 14 or so members of the Malteazers, a collective of burlesque artists who perform at the Maltese on the first Saturday of every month, have them pretty well covered. With no official choreographer, the creative direction and group performances are an organic process unique to each combination of dancers. They agree on a theme, and then work out their numbers individually or in cooperation. Rumor has it that among the many unique skills that each performer brings to their act, they boast the talents of a professional dominatrix, and a yo-yo master who USES GODDAMN YO-YOs in her act. Several of these bold and lovely creatures were kind enough to share their experiences with me this weeklet's all get to know them!
Who are you people? Why do you do this? Sparks: I go by Sparky in normal life, and I usually go by Sparks for burlesque (or Sovereign Sparks, to be classy). I have a theater background, and since I was a kid I was attracted to the stage. I had my first burlesque performance at the Women 's Club last summer with "Everybody in Outerspace Wants to Go to Japan." My shtick, I guess, is not really doing burlesque in a burlesque fashion . I've danced to a range of music: The Mad Caddies, Squirrel Nut Zippers, Marilyn Manson, and Mindless Self Indulgence. It's just really fun to take it outside the box for me.
Angela Lombardi and Nicola Beattsyerarse (the owner, and the manager of the Maltese) asked if I could get a troupe together in September and keep a show going each month. I agreed, not knowing really that much about what I was doing. I don't know a lot about burlesque myself-always learning-but the performers never disappoint the crowd. It was originally just my friends, my girlfriend, and me in the first show-but it took off, and so many more came into the picture: women, men, drag queens, crossdressers, costumers, shy people! The reason I do it now is for the way the performers act after they exit the stage. Their faces glow, they scream, they hug everybody, they say never in their lives have they felt so empowered or pretty or special. And they all say," I cant wait for the next show!" It always feels like the first time, because there are always new faces , new costumes, new dancers. We all get along so well. I could sit with any of you lovelies on any day. I'm so happy to have you all in my life.
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BamBam Chan (Cat Campbell): I do theatre, short films and a little bit of modeling here in Chico. I started doing this at the Chico Cabaret's Holiday Burlesque in 2010. I have been a member of the Malteazer's since late last year. I focus mainly on classic burlesque using music from the 40's and SO's. I've always been fascinated by burlesque ladies. They seem so confident onstage. I don't consider myself a dancer by any means, but I love the stage. I'm fearful every time I head up to dance, but I feel like it's something I have to face. I need to feel the fear and embrace it in order for me to make myself a better person. There's also nothing quite like the roar of the crowd! Lada Noir (Maddy Westcott): I am an artist, a musician, and have been a part of a few projects around Chico. When I was younger, I took ballet, tap, and irish step dancing. I have been a member of the Malteazers since December. My style is more on the classic side of burlesque as well.
I started because I had recently become single and I wanted to do something drastic and a total self-esteem booster. My first time I was so thrilled and nervous to get on stage, I didn't know what exactly I was going to do, but once I got up there, I just started dancing! I don't remember any of it at all. It felt like I was up there for 30 seconds instead of 5 minutes.The whole audience was digging it, and at the end the huge round of applause was pure ecstasy; completely boosted my confidence to do more! After that I was hooked. It's also a beautiful art form, and it's so fun to come up with what character you are going to be and how you will perform. The Malteazers welcomes anyone who wants to try it and see for themselves, which is another reason why I love to be a part of it every month! Lotus Le'sasche (Annie Eblin): It is totally out of my comfort zone, and literally out of my clothes. And not wearing clothes can be pretty comfortable too. I have absolutely no experience doing anything ever, and Sparks has been so amazingly supportive and inspiring. She even lets me wear my coon skin hat. Sparks: You look amazing in that hat! Original Sin (Alyssa Larson): I'm classically trained in ballet, also have a lot of years of modern, jazz, hip hop, etc. and do some local theatre. This is the first time I've been involved in a burlesque, and I love it. I don't necessarily have a schtick per se, except that my numbers tend to be the most technically choreographed.
This is the first burlesque thing I've done. What's really cool about it is that there are no boundaries in terms of how wild or weird you can be, and some of the best stuff happens when you just break down and improv. That's electrifying. The interaction with the audience is so much better than with most performance types-you're sort of dancing with them, not at them. I've done two Malteazer shows so far: the "Nightmare Before Christmas" theme, where I played half of the bipolar Mayor, and the "Creature From the Black Lagoon," where I smeared swampy body paint all over myself
onstage. That was a RIOT. Last month, Black Betty (Becky Holden) and myself did a voodoo/witch-doctor/possession themed duet for the "Masquerade" show. I'm not onstage this month because of scheduling stuff, but plan to do many more in the future. Margaret Jones: I have no stage name yet, but it'll probably end up being Mistress Magpie or something similar. No shtick, no experience (except for a delightful duo with Alyssa). I enjoy being part of burlesque because of the aspects of freedom and exploration, both in part of the dancers and the audience. Lula Mae (Mollie Bolin): I moved here from Ohio in 2010 with hopes of one day becoming a part of the burlesque community. I have always loved burlesque, and at the end of 2011, had my first experience with it. Ever since then I've been hooked. I'm so lucky to have found a great group of girls who also have the same passion.
I've been a fan for as long as I can remember. It's empowering to show the audience what you have to work with. Burlesque makes me happy; it's the only thing I've got going on these days besides work. I feel beautiful performing on stage. It's surreal, unlike anything I've ever felt before. The rush of performing, all eyes on you, seducing the audience and hearing them cheer you on-it leaves you wanting more. Rachel Baumer: I don't think I've done anything that has felt so liberating before. Doing this has made me able to embrace my femininity on a whole new level. I have to say, it's an electric kind of adrenaline rush and there's nothing quite like it. Betty Ren (Lauren O'Connor): I've been doing theater since high school, and locally in Chico since 2010. I've performed with Butte College, the Cabaret Theater, Blue
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Room, and in Keeping Dance Alive in 2012. My specialty is nipple-pasty tassel twirling (I could teach you, but I'd have to charge ... ). I refer to myself as a former misogynist and "born-again" feminist, so for me personally to do this is a statement on owning my feminine sexuality. When I'm up there I'm breaking down the entire mother-whore dichotomy that patriarchal culture chains us women to, and that is the most important thing in the world to me. This experience is unique in many ways. The audience is pretty much right there in your face; the first time I performed the intimacy shocked me for sure. Also, the spontaneous creative control is exhilarating, and I've come to enjoy loosely choreographing and improving in the moment. Once I'm in the zone I literally feel like I'm dancing alone in my bedroom. Burlesque is about confidence, sexuality, and empowerment; what more could a girl ask for? Traditional vaudeville style involves a lot of sketch comedy, and though our show is more about the dance routines exclusively, I think the underlying history comes through with how we present it. Satine Sheets (Nicola Beatts): I performed in the first Malteazers show, then had an unfortunate air guitar accident which dislocated my knee [Editors note: WTF?!?]. After that I hosted a show, then bartended a show. I am returning this month to performing. I find it oddly empowering. The ladies I have met through this troupe have become some of my closest friends, and that's wonderful! The Ma/teazers perform on the first Saturday of each month at the Maltese Taproom. Admission is a mere $5, starts at 9pm
FEBRUARY 3 - FEBRUARY 9, 2014
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TIME CAPSULE
SCENES FROM A COLLEGE STUDENT (IN 1994) BY AMANDA CHRISTENSEN In the four months that I have lived in Chico I have made a couple of amusing observations that have been grating at my brain for sometime. I feel the need to share, which is very uncommon because I am an only child . Strap yourself helplessly in your chair, I'm taking you on a magic carpet ride. Scene 1: The "real college" farce that I live with. I am a victim of community college. That's right, the nasty stepchild of the CSU system. Some of you believe that I don't have a say in what goes on here, after all I didn't have to go through what you had to go through . You all know what I'm talking about : the dorms, victims of rushing, the friends that you make, blah blah blah. But man, I thought that coming to Chico State would mark a significant change in my lifestyle; that going to a real college would be some out-of-body nirvana-like experience, complete with the keg parties, studly men, and friends pouring out of my ears. Wrong. This scene is exactly what I experienced at community college, minus all the deadbeats who can't afford $150 a semester to take three ceramics classes. Instead I have deadbeats taking English classes at Mommy and Daddy's expense . Just an observation. Scene 2: I feel like I am in a never-ending John Hughes movie here. The first day of school, I walk onto campus not knowing what to expect or where to go for that matter. What am I greeted with? A throng of really good-looking people and a DJ in the background playing "(Whoomp) There it is!" I really believed that Molly Ringwald or Winona Ryder was going to waltz out of the crowd and deliver the opening lines to this movie I was in. It was so ridiculous, what does the AS expect us to do with that music? Bust a move on the grass? Grab a partner and boot-scoot-boogie to class? Just a thought . Scene 3: Disgruntled older men in every one of my classes. These are the guys who are about 35-40 years old, sit in the front, and call the TEACHER "Prof." They are so unhappy, I don' t know why they bother with us whippersnappers . I'm sorry, but I'm going to go off here. They bitch about kids these days, but they don 't seem to understand that the average age around here is 21. OK, so they want to come back to get a degree that could make their careers easier. Fine, but I just don't want to hear another damn word about how we are so selfish. Not all of our Mommies and Daddies pay for this wonderful experience. Maybe your kids act that way, but the majority of us are just trying to get along, OK? It was also a big shocker to see a woman who could be a grandmother in my community college class, taking it
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because she likes to do statistics. I thought I lost those people when I came here, but they keep following me. Stop it. Scene 4: You all read last week's real life experience at Jack's Family Restaurant [Let me refresh your memory
since that was 20 years ago. From Synthesis issue 8: A group of young men dining at Jacks discovered a screw in their bowl of delicious beans, and got in a big, hours long hullabaloo with the manager, the cook, and eventually the police, which left everyone involved very disgruntled. It was possibly a literary metaphor about how having a loose screw can lead to a series of overreactions that derail your life as you search for what you perceive to be justice. Or it was a story peppered with uncomfortable racial references, about how nobody believed a group of truth-crusading college students, and it was totally unfair. - Editor]. Well, this is my message to all the business and homeowners of Chico. Without the students you would be about as well -known as the town of Grimes, that nasty one-stop-sign, one-signal-light town on Highway 505.
I put so much money into this town and all I get is attitude from store owners. They follow me around their boutiques like I'm about to whip out an Uzi and take them hostage. If we had a photo, you could see that I am not that intimidating; I look like I'd have a hard time killing a fly. But yet, they seem to hate us. Also, if any of you guys get the great chance to read the E-R, check out " Tell it to the E-R" in the front section of the paper. The most common bitch is that the college students should go, but leave $3,000 on your way out . That's just the opinion of this writer. Scene 5: I thought the scene would be ... well ... just, more like a scene. It's like the survival of the fittest; if you ain't got the letters, you can kiss your social life goodbye. That's what the Greeks told me. Sort of. I came here expecting something more. Not a party of crazy town revelers dancing down my street, but there was this clause about Chico being the party school. But, my friends , according to some know-it-all, the University of Rhode Island is the place to buy your kegs . This is all for your personal knowledge.
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
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FEBRUARY 3 - FEBRUARY 9, 2014
11
Closed. We need to drink, too!
Closed
MON
TUE WED
THU FRI SAT SUN
FEBRUARY 3 - FEBRUARY 9, 2014
from 4-7PM
PBR $2.2S Everyday!
Nevada Drafts 3-6PM v$3.SO Dbl Wells 6PM -close $8 Dom Pitcher $9 SN Pitcher
Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3
Closed
2 DOLLAR TUESDAY! Food & Drink specials! 11AM-2PM $2.SO SN & Dom Drafts
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.2S Everyday !
Kami shots
8PM-Close $3.50 Fireball, Jim Bea m, Captain Morgan and Jameson
Come see our beautifu l Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3
$3 20oz Slushies $2 12oz Slushies $2 We lls, Drafts and Bartender Specials $S Vodka Red Bull
Food Truck Friday: Pop's Pizza wood-fired pizza 's mad e to order on the patio. Happy Hour from 4-6.
Bartender Specials $3 14oz Slushies $4 20oz Slushies
We open at 12:00pm. Kentucky Bucks are $5 until 5pm!
Bartender Specials $3 14oz Slushies $4 20oz Slushies
WE OPEN AT 12:00PM MIMOSAS WITH FRESH SQUEEZED OJ FOR $S UNTILSPM.
WING WEDNESDAY! $2 for 3 Wings $2.SO SN Pint All Day
11-2PM $2.50 Dom
& Sierra Nevada Drafts 3-6PM
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR $2.2S Everyday!
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.2S Everyday!
$3.SO Dbl Wells 8-close $3 Soccer Moms $5 Smirnoff Blasters $5 DBL Roaring Vodka 11-2PM $2.SO Dom &
Sierra Nevada Drafts 3-6PM $3.SO Dbl Wells 8-Close $2.SO Dom & SN Drafts
Two Dollar Tu esdays ! $2 PB Rs $2 Tacos!
Chicken Strip Sand only $6.SO before 6 PM
Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F
Pitch ers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans Pool Rates Cut in 1/2 !
Drafts $3.50 Dbl Wells &
Closed
$6.SO Pulled pork sand w/ fries or salad 25 cent wings from halftime 'til they're gone! MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE BEER $3/4/S/6 $1 SHOTS FREE Pool after lOPM
$1.00 off Sierra and Dom
2-close $2.50 wells & Dom
Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3 live music 8-10
Angry Mondays! Angry Orchard specials $6 angry hot wings Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitch ers $1.00 off PBR & Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2 !
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR $2.2S Everyday!
Open at llAM ! Bloody Mary Bar Noon-6PM $8 Dom Pitch er $9 SN Pitcher 8PM-Close $6.SO DBL calls
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights! PBR $2.2S Everyday !
10AM-2PM $5 Bottl es of Champagne with entree $4.SO Bloody Mary $S.SO Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys
Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.2S Eve ryday!
Chicken Waffle Wed.! 8 ball Tourn ey 6pm sign-up Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitch ers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2 !
DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm $1 Beer $1 Wells $2 Doubles FREE Pool after lOPM
Reube n Sand w/ fries or salad $6.50 Spm-Close 1/2 off kids items 8pm-Close Pitch er Specials $6/$9/$12 FREE Pool after lOPM
Jazz Night! Chico Jazz Collective 8-midnight Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitch ers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2 !
Baby Back Ribs $10.99 Philly Cheesesteak $7.SO
Rock Out at The DL! Enjoy live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @llam All ages untill lOpm
10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/ Fries or Salad & Garlic Bread $8.99 8pm-Close $4 Jager $S DBL Vodka Red Bull $6 Jager Red Bull $2 Kamikaze shots FREE Pool after lOPM
Rock Out at Th e DL! Enjoy live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @llam All ages untill lOpm
Baby Back Ribs w/Salad,
Super Bowl Sunday: Bronco Burgers and Sea Chicken Tuna melts $8 1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans
6pm-Close $4 Grad teas $3 All beer pints FREE Pool after lOPM
Fries & garlic bread $10.99 8pm-Close $4 Single/$6 Double Jack or Captain $2 Sierra Nevada FREE Pool after lOPM $S.19 Grad/Garden/ Turkey Burger w/fries or salad Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call, $S Top, $6 Goose Mimosas $2/flute, $S/pint $6 Be er Pitchers FREE Pool after lOPM
WEDNESDAY 9PM
FRI.DAY 4-7PM
DJ SPENNV &JEFF HOWSE
THE PUe路 SC0 UTS
DANCE NIGHT 12
Daily Happy Hour
Mon-Fri happy hour 11-2PM $2.50 Dom & Sierra
HAPPY HOURI
SYNTHES I SWEE KLY. COM
~ cf ~) ~Y1~9'.9 ~~!I
Lounge V 1 p u 1tra
C HICO CA
GoDownlo
BEAR-E-OKE
Happy Hour 11-6PM
BURGER MADNESS!
$2.7S
select bottles & drafts
CLOSED
Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.29.
$1.00 Food items
llam-lOpm.
$1 Kamikazes $3 Jam eson and Skw Special
GoDownlo
BEAR WEAR!
EVERY DAY Happy Hour- 4-7pm $1.7S Pints, $1.00 Shots, 1/2 off all Single cocktails,
2 for 1 Burgers llam-Bpm
1/2 off while wea ring
$2 All Day $2 Select Sierra Nevada or
$3 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials
Bea r Wear. MUG CLUB 4-lOPM
Dom Drafts
Happy Hour 4-Spm
$2 Kamis -any flavor
$2 Marqis $3 Cuervo Marqis
CLOSED
$2.50 Corona's & Sierra Drafts Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM $1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $2 wells
Happy Hour- 4-7pm Buck
Progressive Night!
night 9pm-lam
8-lOPM $1 Sierra Pale
CLOSED
Ale, Dom estics, Rolling Rock & well cocktails up lOPM-close 25C per
hour-close Mon-Sat free pool 6-SPM
GoDownlo
TRIKE RACES!
All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3
Post time @ lOpm.
All Day
GAME NIGHT 9-llPM
Win T-shirts and Bear
$3Tea of the Day Bartender Specials
Bucks.
MUG CLUB 4-lOPM
Happy Hour- 4-7pm
Buck Night 8-close
1/2 off all cocktails, $1.75 Drafts, Guest bartenders every week
$1 well cocktails, Sierra
BURGER MADNESS!
Happy Hour- 4-7pm
Happy Hour 11-6PM
9pm-Close
$2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada
Bear Burger with fri es
$2. 75 select bottl es &
$212oz Teas
Half Off Rockstar Cocktails
or salad for $5.29.
drafts
$3 20oz Teas
SO cent well drinks
$2 Well, Dom Bottles &
9-lOpm $2 Kamis,
bartender Specials $5 Vodka Red Bull lOPM - Midnight
$2 Fireball, $3 Cherry Blaste rs, $2 bottl e Bee r lOpm-lam
GoDownlo
llam-lOpm.
$216oz Wells
Rock, dom draft $3 Black Butte
Happy Hour S-8PM WEST COAST SWING NIGHT 9PM
$5 Vodka Red bull
Happy Hour 4-Spm
$2.50 Pinnacle Cocktails
Nevada Pale Ale, Rolling
$3 Hot Licks $4.50 Doubl e Bacardi 8-9PM $1 pale ale and dom draft up 25C per hour until close $6.50 Apple Cinnamon
Happy Hour 5-SPM $5 House Martinis $4 Glass of House Wine $3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottl e $1 off Call liquor and bottled beer
Cider
$2.50 Fireball Shots $2.50 Pints of Sierra
GoDownlo
LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR BURGER AND FRIES FOR
Nevada
ONLY $4.99!
$5.50 Double Pinnacle
Mon-Sat lOpm - lam.
Vodka & Red Bull $3 Double Well Cocktails
Free Happy Hour Food 4PM until it's gone
$3 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials
Happy Hour- 4-7pm SS Fridays 4-8pm Most food items and pitchers of
Happy Hour 11-6PM select wells, bottles and pints $2.75
beer are $5
Power Hour 8-9PM
Happy Hour 5-8PM
1/2 off Liquor & Drafts
$5 House Martinis
9PM-Close $3 Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pale Pitchers
$4 Glass of House Wine
$3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottle $1 off Call liquor and bottled beer
Half Off Rockstar Cocktails
GoDownlo
$2.50 Pint of Sierra Nevada $3 Featured Shot of the
Night
LATE NIGHT EATS! BEAR
$4 Sex On Th e Beach
$3 Tea of the Day
Happy Hour-4-7pm
Mon-Sat 3PM-6PM
Happy Hour 5-SPM
BURGER AND FRIES FOR ONLY $4.99! Mon-Sat lOpm - lam.
$4 Sierra Nevada Knightro
Bartender Specials
Hot dog m enu all day
$1 Dom draft, $2 SN draft, $2 wells Power Hour 8-9PM 1/2 off Liquor & Drafts
$5 House Martinis
ON TAP $1 Jello Shots 7-lOPM $3 Rumpy, Jager
llam-Spm, All Day and All Night Tall cans of beer
(24oz) $3.SO, $2 Capri sun
HALF OFF EVERYTHING
Call To Rent For Private
BURGER MADNESS!
Party
Bear Burger with fries
Premium Liquors)
or salad for $5.29. Go Down Lo
llam-lOpm.
$4 World Famous Bloody Joe $5 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka
$3 Well Cocktails 20% off wine by bottl e
Shots, All Teas $3.50, Tea Party 9-llpm 32oz Teas are $2.50
$9.75 Pale Pitchers
$1 off Call liquor and bottled beer
Brunch lOam - 2pm
Happy Hour- 4-7pm
CLOSED
CLOSED
Football Specials:
Champagne Brunch
Bucket of Beer
930am-lpm, Every Nfl Game (20 Tv's), $3 Bloody
and Fireball
{Except Red Bull and
$4 Glass of House Wine
Bacardi Cocktails
Skyy & Red Bull
9-Close Pale Ale Drafts
marys, $3 screwdrivers, $5 pitchers of beer
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FEBRUARY 3 - FEBRUARY 9, 20
THIS WEEK ONLY BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT WEDNESDAY, FEBRUARY
STH
FRIDAY, FEBRUARY
GLIMPSE TRIO & PAGEANT DADS
TAO: PHOENIX RISING TAIKO DRUMMING
CAFE CODA
LAXSON AUDITORIUM
Glimpse Trio has come from Oakland to show Chico's indie kids how it's done, with solid, catchy vocals and fearlessly experimental guitars. Also featuring Bunny Kisses and Avant Groove. $5, 8pm.
The sheer amount of athletic talent and precision showcased here will make you stronger just by watching. Big beats, amazing costumes, and spectacular dancing. $28 for adults, $19 for students, 7:30 pm.
THURSDAY, FEBRUARY 't)
7TH
GTH
SATURDAY, FEBRUARY
STH THE MEMORIALS FT. DRUM-
THRONES & TEE PH
MER OF THE MARS VOLTA
MONSTROS PIZZA
BOMBAY'S IN REDDING
Big guitars, big grooves, and strange vocals. Thrones' founding member has played in numerous groups, most notably The Melvins and High On Fire . Also ft. Noctooa from Oakland and local doom band Hearses. $7, 8pm.
Thomas Pridgen is one of the best drummers alive today, and his new female-led hard rock band is too big for Chico, so they' re playing an hour north of here instead. See below for supporting bands. $10, 8pm .
OTHER NEW AND EXCITING THINGS 3 MONDAY
reception. 5-8pm.
Cafe Coda: KZFR presents: 1st Monday Jazz, featuring the music of Charles Mingus . All ages. $10. 7-8:30pm
Laxson Auditorium: Bela Fleck & Brooklyn Rider. Premium/$35, Adult/$30, Senior/$28, Student/ child/$21. 7:30pm
El Rey Theatre: Zappa Plays Zappa. $27.50-$50. Doors 7pm, show 8pm
Lost On Main: Death Angel ft. Fallon, CURSED, Death Rattle, AOD. $18, 8pm.
5 WEDNESDAY
Monstros Pizza: Thrones, Teeph, Noctooa, Hearses. $7 8pm.
Argus: Live Music. 8-lOpm Cafe Coda: Glimpse Trio, Pageant Dads, Bunny Kisses, Avant Groove . $5, 8pm Sierra Nevada Big Room: Corinne West. 7:30pm, doors 6pm
6 THURSDAY James Snidle Fine Arts Gallery: Oil Paintings by Jerry Frost opening
14
FEBRU A RY 3 - FEBRU A RY 9 , 2014
The Rendezvous: John Gorka. $20/$24, tix@ chicotickets.com. 7:30pm, doors 6:30pm Senator Theatre: The Devil Makes Three. $22.50-$25. Doors 8pm, show 9pm
7 FRIDAY 1078 Gallery: Rob Davidson and the
Lost City Lopers, Geoff Baker, Aamir Malik. $7. Doors 7:30, show 8pm Cafe Coda: Libby Koch - Americana songwriter from Texas. ft. Lisa Valentine, Ryan Davidson. 7:30pm. The DownLo: Biggs Roller, Bon Voyage. 8pm LaSalle's: Keep Calm and Chico On. DJ Jigga Julie, Freakbeatz. 9pm Laxson Auditorium: TAO: Phoenix Rising Japanese Taiko Drumming. Premium/$33, Adult/$28, Senior/$26, Student/child/$19 . 7:30pm Lost On Main: Exquisite Corps . Free cover 9-lOpm. $5, lOpm. The Maltese: Aubrey Debauchery and the Broken Bones, The Shimmies. 21+ 9pm
8 SATURDAY 1078 Gallery: Progressive Metal Show. Sorin, Ex Scientia Vera (formerly Memento Mori}, lo Torus. $5, 8pm Bombay's in Redding: The Memorials (see above}, Monk Warrior, Hollow Lane, Belda Beast, Six Mile Station. $10, 8pm Cafe Coda: Hi-Life Wedding, Akela the Lone Wolf, Tiny Pyramids. 8pm The DownLo: Hippie Trap. 8pm The Maltese: West By Swan, The Americas, Ghostnote. 9pm
9 SUNDAY Laxson Auditorium: Lonestar. Pre-
mium/$50, Adult/$45, Senior/$43, Student/child/$30. 7:30pm
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
ONGOING EVENTS
3 MONDAY
The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm Cafe Flo: Word Play! Poetry night.
7pm Chico Women's Club: Prenatal
Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm. All ages until lOpm Empire Coffee: New art by Lexie Loader for sale. Janet Turner Print Museum: Print Exhibition. Maltese: Open Mic: Music. Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
4 TUESDAY Cafe Flo: Open Mic Singer-Song-
writer Night with Aaron Jaqua. 7-9pm Chico Women's Club: Yoga. 9-lOam. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class. 5:50-7pm. Capoeira, $3$10. 7:30-8:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+ DownLo: Game night. All ages until lOpm Empire Coffee: New art by Lexie Loader for sale. Farm Star Pizza: Live Jazz with Shigemi and Friends. 7-9pm Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-lOpm. Janet Turner Print Museum: Print Exhibition. LaSalle's: '90s night. 21+ Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke.
8:30pm-lam University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstock's: Trivia Challenge. Call
at 4pm to reserve a table. 6:30pm
SWEDNESDAY 100th Monkey Cafe & Books:
Open Mic. All ages. 7pm The Bear: Trike Races. Post time
lOpm Chico Women's Club: Afro Brazil-
ian Dance. 5:30-7pm.
DownLo: Wednesday night jazz. 8 Ball Tournament, signups 6pm, starts 7pm Duffy's: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. 9pm. $1. Empire Coffee: New art by Lexie Loader for sale. The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm Janet Turner Print Museum: Print Exhibition. Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome. 9-10:30am Panama Bar: Game Night. Free to play, prizes. 9-llpm The Maltese: Friends With Vinyl! Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-lam The Tackle Box: Swing Dance Wednesday, classes 7-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana. 7-9pm Woodstock's: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm
6 THURSDAY The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover.
9pm Cafe Flo: Delta Blues with Mark "Porkchop" Holder and friends. 7-lOpm Center For The Arts (PV High):
Fiddler On The Roof. $15.50-18.50 (plus $10 if purchased at the door) 7:30pm. Chico Theater Company: Grease. 7pm Chico Yoga Center: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson. 7:30-9:30pm DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective every Thursday. 8-llpm. All ages until lOpm Empire Coffee: New art by Lexie Loader for sale. The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm Has Beans: Open Mic Night. 7-lOpm. Signups start at 6pm Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8pm-
midnight
Peeking Chinese Restaurant:
Janet Turner Print Museum: Print
BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $3. 9:30pm Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm Sultan's Bistro: Bellydance Performance. 6:30-7:30pm T-Bar: Live Music. 7-8:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
Exhibition. LaSalle's: Thirsty Thursdays, featuring Mack Morris Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close. Panama Bar: Buck night and DJ Eclectic. 9pm Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-lam University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic performance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No Cover. Woodstock's: Open Mic Night
7 FRIDAY 100th Monkey Cafe & Books: Acoustic Music Singer Songwriter Showcase. 7:30pm The Beach: DJ 2K & Mack Morris. 9pm-close. $2, $10 VIP. The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover. 9pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. llam Cafe Flo: Flo Sessions weekly music showcase. 7-lOpm Center For The Arts (PV High): Fiddler On The Roof. $15.50-18.50
(plus $10 if purchased at the door) 7:30pm. Chico Theater Company: Grease. 7pm Chico Yoga Center: Friday Night Dance Jam with Mark Johnson. $10. 7-8:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays, Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm DownLo: Y, off pool. All ages until lOpm. Live Music, 8pm Duffy's: Pub Scouts- Happy Hour. 4-7pm Empire Coffee: New art by Lexie Loader for sale. The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pm-midnight Janet Turner Print Museum: Print Exhibition. Maltese: LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm
8 SATURDAY The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover.
9pm . Center For The Arts (PV High):
Fiddler On The Roof. $15.50-18.50 (plus $10 if purchased at the door) 7:30pm. Chico Theater Company: Grease. 7:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Dancing. 10pm-1:30am DownLo: 9 Ball tournament. Signups at noon, starts at lpm. All ages until lOpm The Graduate: Free Pool after lOpm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and 80s music. The Molly Gunn's Revival! 8pm-midnight Janet Turner Print Museum: Print Exhibition. LaSalle's: 1980Now! 8pm Quackers: Live DJ. 8:30pm-lam Scotty's Landing: Music Showcase. Open Mic hosted by Rich & Kendall. 5-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm
WARM UP THE WINTER AT SICILIAN CAFEI
9 SUNDAY Center For The Arts (PV High):
Fiddler On The Roof. $15.50-18.50 (plus $10 if purchased at the door) 2pm. Chico Theater Company: Grease. 2pm Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. Free-style dance wave, $8-$15 sliding scale . 10am-12:30pm DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until lOpm LaSalle's: Karaoke. 9pm Maltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm. Trivia
1020 MAIN STREET CHICO "-•?) 530.3~5.2233 (G••" FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
FEBRU A RY 3 - FEBRU A RY 9, 2014
15
ON THE TOWN
PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
SCENE REPORT
DOG-GONE-FUN BY ZOOEY MAE
How do I sum up Chris Perondi 's Stunt Dog Experience show? Hmm ... Lasers, puns, the Ba ha Men, and yes, dogs. The show opened with some warm up tricks, mostly involving flying discs and forced punnery. " What sort of fun are you having?" " DOG-GONE-FUN!!" The dogs Perondi uses for his show are all dogs from shelters and rescues, and mostly consist of Border Collies and Cattle Dogs. Sporting sparkly vests and doggie smiles, the dogs performed a variety of tricks showcasing their agility, speed, balance and focus. Using some eager volunteers from the audience, Perondi showcased how far one dog could jump, launching him Evel Knievel-style over the four volunteers. With all the lasers, puns, liberal use of the Ba ha Men's "Who Let The Dogs Out," and Kriss Kross' "Jump," I was having strong flashbacks of being a twelve year old at Cal Skate. Thinking about all the days spent under the black lights, skating, and singing manically along with " Everybody Dance Now," I realized that this show was forcing nostalgia because kids and families are the intended audience. Obviously. The puns and music from the mid 90's were a little off-putting, but overall it was a cute show, w ith a solid message about the importance of adopting dogs from shelters instead of breeders, and getting your pets spayed and neutered. Seriously though, how is it that no other music has been released since
16
FEBR UARY 3 - FEBR UARY 9, 2014
1993 that features the word "jump?" After the show Perondi was kind enough to let me ask him a few questions about some dogrelated topics. How do you fee l about the stigma surrounding pit bulls? I think they're a tremendous dog, a great dog. A lot of it has to do with bad training and bad owners. They can be the sweetest dogs ever, capable of doing a lot of tricks and being trained. It comes down to breeding, breeding them to be aggressive, and when people do get them they don't handle them properly. Do you have any thoughts about the Westminster Dog Show recently allowing certain mixed breeds to compete in their show? I think it's great, and I think they should have been doing it a long time ago. A lot of people think you have to have a purebred dog to have a smart dog, and that's just not true. That's like saying that we as humans aren't as smart for having mixed blood. And even in shelters, 40 percent of the dogs there are actually purebred dogs, so if people want a pure dog, they can still get it at a shelter. Anything else you'd like to add? Spay and neuter your pets, and spend more time with your dogs. Even if that's just taking them for a walk, it's important to do.
SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
HOWL HOWLMOVESMOUNTAINSTUMBLR.COM
PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID
ON THE TOWN
MEETING THE E R p E NT
s
ART BY LOGAN KRUIDENIER
The sea stretched out before me, a deep blue-black. It was calm and almost dark, but also almost bright, like a smoldering in the sky. The sun had just set. (I hadn't been near the ocean in years, and there was no memory of actually getting here. Details I didn't notice just yet.) A wind blew through my hair, and through the scattered clumps of grass. "The shores of my subconscious ..." I liked saying that line. I liked thinking of my mind as an ocean; within my soul are depths as vast as the sea. If I can perceive an ocean, I can perceive my mind as an ocean-"And explore it," I murmured. I smiled, and breathed. Then, my eyes snapped out of their reverie and into focus : something had disturbed the waters, a few miles from where I stood. On my tiptoes, I searched with eager eyes-could it be a whale? I fell back on my heels, and my smile fell slack ... Whatever it was, emerging, it was much larger than a whale. When the shape then climbed even higher into the air, I knew it couldn't even be a creature of this world. It was some kind of serpent, beginning to twist now in the air. Some unknown length of it dwelt still beneath the surface. I could only stare, my mind shocked into stillness. The fact of what I was seeing challenged everything I knew of my world. The creature, twisting still in the air, unfurled legs from around its leviathan body. The legs were spined, almost like a centipede's. "Way bigger than any dinosaur," I whispered to myself. "Only the ocean could conceal something like this." Beneath my feet there began a rumbling, and the ocean began to churn, as more of the monsters broke the surface.
small rodent who finds itself surrounded by predators ... Although, wound through the terror was this thread of breathless joy, as I stood slack-jawed in the middle of some ritual no human had ever experienced. It took my mind a moment to register that the dance had stopped. One of the leviathans had drawn itself up to me, and had lowered its face to look into mine. It was huge, but not quite frightening. Completely alien, but still, almost familiar. Almost humanoid was the shape of its face ... but no mouth, and no nostrils. Still, it seemed to breathe, and its deep, black eyes gazed calmly into mine. It was aware of me-not in passing, as some animal registers the presence of a human-but as one soul recognizes another.
Faster than I could conceive, they flew through the air towards me.
Something flickered there, in the silence between our eyes. We knew each other then, in some way impossible to verbalize.
Every moment of perception was now dear-bought, with these serpents dancing furiously through the air around me. They stirred the weather into fierce winds. They felled trees with glancing blows that did nothing to stop their impossible dancing. I knew now the raw creature-fear of some
Later, I knew this place and these creatures must have been real, if not exactly real here, in the world we know. There is nothing I can say to really prove their existence, but neither could I deny the mark left on my soul from that meeting: I had met an equal. I would remember, and we would meet again.
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FEBRUARY 3 - FEBR UARY 9, 2014
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Eva Blanshei is a force of nature-more appropriately, she is a force of culture. She is a dancer, a dance choreographer, and a stage production writer. She sports waves of beautiful blond hair, piercing blue eyes, and a simple fashion sense that frames fantastic curves. Until this last year, she was a relatively uninvolved figure in Chico's arts scene, but a huge shift occurred with the debut of her first burlesque show, Everybody In Outer Space Wants To Go To Japan. Featuring amazing dancing, amazing bodies of both genders, fantastic costumes, and live music by jazz group Bogg, the quirky presentation of local talent was a huge success. "I had no idea that I could stay in Chico to make art, and actually be supported by it." says Eva. "Before Japan, I had been planning on moving away."
"The Uncle Dad's Art Collective is a group of artists devoted to making well thought-out shows that push boundaries." says Eva. "One of our main goals is to have every member of a cast walk away with a paycheck. Sounds simple enough, but it doesn't happen often. There's no platform for dancers [to make a living] in Chico ... I'd like to change that. Dancing should be expected here. It's important." Maybe it was only her fierce eyes and the aura of cinematic focus that was rolling off this woman in waves, but I found myself agreeing heartily. Listening to her, I saw in my mind's eye the latest wave of strange, wonderful shows in Chico ... all the burlesque shows, all of Bogg's special-event concerts, everything The Pageant Dads have done ... and I felt glad she had decided to stay here to keep things simmering.
Chico's mixed-pot arts culture had different plans for Ms. Blanshei. "[Bogg and I] were so jazzed after that first show, we decided right away to do more." Soon after Japan, Eva, Bogg, and other local artists formed the Uncle Dad's Art Collective. This group of artists and performers was directly responsible for Thriller The Musical (choreographed by Eva), Bogg Presents The Christmas Telethon (Eva had no part of this one, being otherwise engaged in Phil Ruttenberg's Christmas Burlesque), and Ms. Blanshei's upcoming sophomore show: Everybody In
Everybody In Outer Space Stayed In Room 213 promises to be an experience just as scintillating and strange as the first. "I liked the rhythm Japan had," says Eva. "You'd hear a part of the story, then you'd get a dance number. Having a story is crucial. .. my shows have very different influences; they're more like variety shows, honestly. The story ties it together. Last time, every girl represented a different planet. Here, every girl represents a different death."
Outer Space Stayed In Room 213.
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Room 213's story takes place exclusively in a hotel room
in Las Vegas, where the Grim Reaper has made a habit of staying every year on the night before Valentine's Day. "Death gets lonely around February, so he decides to take souls who are staying in that room on the night of the 13th, to keep him company in Purgatory while they're waiting to ascend." says Eva. "The Grim Reaper is like the boy with a magnifying glass, burning ants; he's mischievous, and to us, omniscient. He's also very wise, and experienced, from being around for so long, but he still has his shortcomings." Confused, but enraptured, I kept listening to Ms. Blanshei relate Room 213's oddball story. "Every girl has a story, a dance, and a death." Eva continued. "One girl is Mod Wang. She got raised in Salt Lake City, then followed the Love & Peace train in the 70's and ended up in Vegas. She ends up falling off the balcony of Room 213 because her GoGo boots are way too high. Another is Paula Banks, from New York. She goes to Vegas, where she manages to triple her trust fund ... She buys an anaconda, but Death undoes the lid on its cage, and her pet strangles her." I was beginning to understand where she was coming from, remembering my experience of the strangeness of Japan, but I finally brought up the glaring issue in my mind: Why is Death involved in this dance show? How do you make that entertaining and sexy?
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"Why does death have to be a bad thing?" Eva countered. "I mean, you're right. .. In our culture, death is something to be feared. While I was making this show though, I was really inspired by it... Death is beautiful, and it's important to embrace it, to be able to accept it. It comes in forms of tragedy, but death also comes in forms of romance and beauty. We tend to want things to last forever ... but sometimes, things have a preordained ending. Like sometimes, that relationship is only meant to last a year, you know? "Why does sadness have to be a bad thing? When I'm feeling that pain, part of me is happy, because it knows I'm transitioning to a new place in life." Among the myriad cast of Room 213 (which includes Ms. Blanshei herself) are just three soloists. Courtney Osteen is a young dancer who starred as Alice a few years back in a Laxson Auditorium ballet of Alice In Wonderland. Kelsi Fossum-Trausch choreographed the recent local production of Grease, and Rutten berg's 2013 Christmas Burlesque. Room 213's female lead will be Jessica Sijan, an actress who played in the latest Butcher Shop, is part of the local group Slow Theatre (who were responsible for Butcher Shop), and played in numerous shows in the Bay Area. "It's going to be insane," says Eva. "This one is way bigger. Tons of talent, way more organization ... it's a lot longer ... Aubrey Debauchery is playing music this time, and she's fucking amazing ... it'll be like the first one on steroids." These are bold statements, considering the grandiose
nature of her first production. I don't remember what I had been expecting last year when I arrived at the Women's Club to watch a burlesque show called Everybody In Outer Space Wants To Go To Japan. I had been expecting sexy women, and dancing, and awesome costumes, of course ... I didn't expect a strange, sprawling sci-fi love story told through elaborate, expansive prose, alternated with dance numbers. I didn't expect the moon to be portrayed as a boy, and the planets to be portrayed as eight women (and one Queen), all of which had ravenous sexual appetites, and a generally unhealthy way of attempting to dominate our poor male lead. " I came up with the idea for Japan while I was having some stupid conversation-well, uninteresting, at least-and whenever I am in those more empty conversations, I start spacing out. I completely disassociate. And then I thought, ' I wanna be in a dance show! I should make one!' The Japanese theme of it came up during a brainstorm with Dragonboy ... I was drinking tea here at Empire, he walked into the train car, and I just said, 'Start listing themes for dance shows.' "Japan's story was about looking for love," Eva continued,
beautiful. The live backing tracks being performed by Bogg elevated the emotion of each dance wonderfully. The Women's Club was a beautiful place to host such a grand event of artsy expression, and I wondered aloud about her reasons for moving the show to 1078 Gallery. "Josh Hegg and Matthew Wiener of the Collective are on the board of 1078, so we're able to rehearse there for free," says Eva. "It seemed appropriate to have an art show in an art gallery ... Plus, it'll be more interactive and intimate with the crowd. There's no real stage there, so the ... um ... 'stage area' will be floor level, and extend out into the seating a bit." I came away from the interview with a solid feeling for Eva Blanshei's creative process-very commanding and directorial, very honest and real, and very accepting: ready to embrace and celebrate her art, no matter how random it appears. And I think her show will work even with all its randomness; how can you lose with a ton of foxy women in amazing costumes? EVERYBODY IN OUTER SPACE STAYED IN ROOM 213 Burlesque Show February 13th & 14th.
"The Moon goes to all the planets searching for it, and in the end, he finds his true love in the inevitable relationship to Mother Earth. It's one simple way of expressing lifeyou meet so many people, all with their own stories ... sometimes there 's a connection, and that's beautiful."
Featuring live music by Aubrey Debauchery & The Broken Bones.
Japan was at turns strange, hilarious, sexy, awkward, and
Presented by 1078 Gallery and the Uncle Dad's Art Collective.
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
$12 advance, $15 at the door. Get advance tickets at brownpapertickets.com.
FEBRU A RY 3 - FEBRU A RY 9 , 2014
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ON THE TOWN
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
OLD CRO CK BY JAIME O'NEILL - JAIMEANDKARENONEILL@GMAILCOM
THE WEENIE WAY TO WEALTH
Unless you've been a recent victim of alien abduction, it's a virtual certainty you've seen the commercials for Cialis, Viagra, Levitra, and other medications developed to stamp out flaccidity in our lifetime. So dedicated are the drug companies to eradicating this limp-dick scourge that TV commercials promoting the cure for the problem are repeated several thousand times each day. Even kids are exposed to these ads ceaselessly. I'm not sure, but I think I've even seen them on Nickelodeon, the Disney Channel, and as a corporate sponsor of Sesame Street. For those alien abductees who are just now returning to terra firma, you need to be warned about this current epidemic of pharmaceutical advertising directed at the problem known as "erectile dysfunction." When I first heard this phrase, I thought it was a reference to those embarrassing episodes that plagued me back when I was an adolescent boy called to the front of the class immediately after a bulgeinducing daydream. The problem these E-D commercials are addressing, however, turned out to be just the opposite. Rather than squelching dysfunctional bulges, these new "erectile dysfunction" meds were all about creating bulges. From what I'd heard most of my life, the symptoms of erectile dysfunction always had to do with excessive functionality rather than a failure to function at all. Erectile dysfunction, as experienced by the general run of males, more commonly arises from hyper-functionality that can lead to infidelity, or other health-depleting failures of commitment. As a medical problem, misunderstandings engendered
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by indiscriminate and inappropriate erectile hyperfunctioning have a great many side effects which include such stress-inducing experiences as death threats and divorce. All those problems notwithstanding, there appears to be very little demand for drugs that suppress excessive functionality of the male sex organ. And the development of what are now known as "boner pills" has been a bonanza for American drug companies, so much so that they can afford to advertise their products incessantly in all media, with scenes of men and women in separate bathtubs as a mysterious euphemism for successful male performance. Nor are the consumers of these hard-on meds put off by warnings about side effects than can include a "four-hour erection." Most guys, in fact, consider the prospect of a four-hour erection a risk worth taking, and lots of men think of it as a consummation devoutly to be wished, even though doctors will tell you it isn't. Solving the problem of guys who can't rise to the occasion is a very lucrative business. The Department of Defense spent nearly half a billion dollars on boner pills over the past decade, and world-wide sales of erectile dysfunction nostrums exceeded a billion dollars just last year alone. Which reminds me of a joke. "Question : What's the difference between anxiety and panic? Answer : Anxiety is when, for the first time, you can't do it the second time; panic is when, for the second time, you can't do it for the first time." And so the fight against male panic attacks goes on. Cha-ching.
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(NOT) SPORTSBALL BY DAN O'BRIEN - AMA LGAMCONSU LTING@GMAILCOM
PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY
ON THE TOWN
SO YOU THINK YOU WANT TO BE SELF-EMPLOYED?
I think a lot of folks might romanticize being self-employed. When the magazine I worked at folded and my position disappeared like vapor into the wind, I was faced with a choice: return to form or take a chance. I have been a writer since my late teens, publishing more than a dozen books and hundreds of articles in print and on line. I had my wall of rejections, my inbox full of "thank you, but we'll pass" emails that are often the signal-flare of writers who have quit the world over. The point being: I am used to long odds. Being a consultant is fantastic, though it is a bit esoteric to explain at dinner parties. I want to assume my best Benedict Cumberbatch impression and say, "I am a consulting writer." Perhaps brevity is best replaced with irritation dripping with sarcasm. The thing about being responsible for everything is that you are responsible for everything. No one takes out the appropriate taxes, no one offers you insurance of any kind, and there are no guaranteed paydays. You must take the reins of these endeavors and excel or perish more quickly than you might imagine. There is this fright-
ening moment that happens every so often when your whiteboard full of paying projects diminishes to just one project and your heart starts to thud in your chest. Will you make it? Will you get another client? Feast or famine is offset by intelligent saving habits and smaller, micro gigs that offset your day-to-day expenses. However, this does not stem the overwhelming dread that accompanies an uncertain future that was before filled with a mediocre bi-monthly paycheck that guaranteed indentured servitude to your local supermarket. Would I change it? Absolutely not. Part of being in league with yourself is you get to decide how you subsidize costs. Maybe I will take a part-time job to make sure I can cover the electricity bill or groceries. I can do this without compromising the integrity of the mission, as it does still pay the bills when called upon. Adaptability and creativity are the name of the game. And on that note: I best get looking for some new clients.
FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO • SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM
FEBRUARY 3 - FEBR UARY 9, 2014
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FEBRUARY 3 - FEBRUARY 9 BY KOZ MCKEV
ARIES
TAURUS
GEMINI
CANCER
LEO
VIRGO
You're in the middle of your most sociable season. Helpful friends, future plans, and many parties and meetings are filling your days. Monday and Tuesday are strong for you, with the moon in Aries. Surprise news may come to you. Bring more art and beauty to your workplace. Don't hesitate to take on creative challenges. Relationship issues are unpredictable. My best advice is to remain humble and roll with the punches. The weekend is good for getting out in nature.
Responsibility is your middle name at this point. Career changes could happen swiftly. Know that you will be in the public eye and that it's important that you show your best work. Venus in your ninth house implies that it would be good for you to educate yourself on some advanced subjects. The moon will be in Taurus Wednesday through early Friday morning. Be ready to initiate new and positive ideas. Help others be more organized and work on improving your own physical health.
It's not a rumor, Mercury goes retrograde this week. The three weeks of communication madness begin Thursday the 6th and won 't go direct till February 28th. Get all your paperwork in order early in the week. Don't make any unnecessary purchases until Mercury goes direct. Late Friday morning the moon moves into Gemini and stays there until Sunday night. This is your time to enjoy good fortune and to shine like a bright light. Take calculated risks to improve your situation.
This is a good time to pray for a miracle. Put positive energy out, in the sense that you should visualize the result you would like to see. How you relate to the world and how you would like to relate to the world is a major theme. The heaviness of death, birth, sex and other people's property is all around you . Know who your real friends are and ask them for help when you need it. No one can go it alone. We are alive due to other peoples love. Surrender to the things you have no control over.
Knowledge moves slowly, while will happens by impulse. Be aware of your impulsive side. Have the patience to learn and investigate. You may be searching for the kind of soulmate that balances you out. Be the kind of person that you would like to fall in love with. Monday and Tuesday are energetic and lucky days for you. Be aware of the people that would like to be in contact with you. The weekend looks good for socializing and parties. Practice letting other people have the last word.
You are ready to help where it is needed. It's best to get most of your work done early in the week, before Mercury goes retrograde Thu rs day afternoon. Remain flexible and humble as the week begins. You may be rewarded with some sort of blessing as the week goes on. Stay flexible and ready to move for the benefit of the team. Keep in mind the needs of pets, uncles and aunts. Strive to see the bigger picture. The weekend looks good for performance art and demonstrating your talents and skills.
LIBRA
SCORPIO
SAGITTARIUS
CAPRICORN
AQUARIUS
PISCES
Feel the love. Be your own object of affection. I rate you as the sign that is most likely to love themselves. I also rate you as the sign that is most likely to be distracted by other people. Bloom with love for where you live and for your family. Be aware of your personal health needs and do what you can to fortify your health. Make sure that the people you work with are doing their part as well. Expansion at the workplace could become a challenge. Keep a creative and fun perspective while negotiating challenges.
Stay calm when challenges present themselves. A little bit of emotional stress is normal. You can't control everything and if you could, you would find life to be a bore. Meaningful and diligent effort will get the job done. When one way doesn't work, move over to plan "B" or "C." Be sweet to your neighbors and friends. Do things to beautify your environment. Allow your secret enemies to fall prey to their own traps . Be kind to friends and foes alike. Let your life be a testimony for how others should live.
Generosity and a love of freedom is the name of your game. You may need to be a little more modest, and be able to accept some self restriction and discipline in order to reach your goal. The week begins on a creative and open-minded note. Your focus is on friends, siblings, communication and working with your hands. The weekend looks good for negotiations, romance and being diplomatic. Don't sign anything between the 6th and the 28th of this month. Work on healing family relationships.
The money is finally beginning to flow. Don ' t take it for granted by overspending. Save some cash for a rainy day. Career efforts will be recognized. Wednesday and Thursday will be good days for children and creative projects. Continue to share your insights with older and more experienced people. The weekend looks good for getting organized and continuing on your career path. Eat right. Give praises and compliments more frequently. Do what you can to improve your self image.
Deep knowledge often comes through suffering and pain. Real experience is felt from your personal history. When we ignore our passions we end up betraying our soul. Use your imagination as if it were a magical friend. Enjoy the pleasures of the bed when you can. Be aware of females around you who tend towards deception. Get acquainted with your own capacity for leadership. The weekend looks good for celebrating matters of the heart. You'll get more creative juice.
In order to make dreams become a reality you'll need to be fearless in the face of adversity. This is a good time for you to do your own psychoanalysis. Be brave enough to let go of the things that aren' t working for you. Be confident enough to move ahead with your talents and skills. Some of your personal needs deserve a public hearing. Many things are best kept on the back burner for the next few weeks. The weekend looks good for dealing with family issues.
Koz McKev 1s on You Tube, on cable 17 BCTV, 1s heard on 90/FM KZFR Chk:o, and also available by appOJi7tment for personal horoscopes. Call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozm!C:kev@sunset.net
GREAT WINTER READ Winter Melon, written by local writer Bill Wong Foey A defiant and passionate young woman survives the Rape of Nanking in this debut novel. Voted Book of the Month for July by Lyons Books "Lives of Asia" book group. In paperback online at Amazon.com and Lyons Book Store, 135 Main Street, or as an e-book from Amazon, Barnes & Noble, Apple iTunes and DirectMusicCafe. ADVERT ISEMENT
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