Synthesis Weekly – July 14, 2014

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Volume 20 Issue 47 July 14, 2014

This Week...

The Naked Truth About Coffee

Pour yourself a nice tall cup of the richest brew you can find, and read all about the men behind Chico’s newest roastery, Great State Coffee Company. They have a passion for roasting, a deep love of coffee, and they’re putting on a HUGE party this Friday.

For 20 years The Synthesis’ goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

Columns Letter From the Editor

Publisher/Managing Editor

by Amy Olson

amy@synthesis.net

PAGE 4

Creative Director

Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA

Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net

by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff

PAGE 5

Productivity Wasted

by Eli Schwartz

Contributing Writers

Madbob@madbob.com

PAGE 7

Supertime!

logankruidenier.tumblr.com

PAGE 16

Ben Kirby

PAGE 17

Director of Operations Karen Potter

Owner

Review

Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net

Every Time I Die

Consider the Platypus

by Mona Treme

PAGE 21

Kozmik Debris

by Koz McKev

PAGE 18

Nerd

Accounting

by Zooey Mae

COVER PHOTO Vince Latham

Jessica Sid Vincent Latham

Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net

Comical Ruminations

kozmckev@sunset.net

Arielle Mullen, Bob Howard, Howl, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Jayme Washburn, Eli Schwartz, Mona Treme, Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff, Jon Williams

Photography

by Logan Kruidenier

zooey@synthesis.net

Liz Watters, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net Joey Murphy, Jennifer Foti

by Bob Howard

Eight contenders, beans from all over the world, varied blends and roasts, different strengths and brewing styles, but in the end there can be only one! How did your favorite coffee place fare? Should you try something new?

Alex Light Alex@synthesis.net SynthesisWeekly.com/submit-yourevent/

Deliveries

Immaculate Infection

Iced Coffee Throwdown

Entertainment Editor

Designers

PAGE 6

PAGE 8

Amy Olson amy@synthesis.net

PAGE 22

The Synthesis is both owned and published

by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis.

The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@ synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 editorial@synthesis.net

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PET OF THE WEEK

Coincidence?

YEAH, PROBABLY. So there we were, sitting down for an impromptu weeknight dinner out at Cocodine (a rarity). The only other people in the restaurant were these two, shall we say, oldish ladies—not so much old as really old fashioned, settled into a certain version of sixty in that way really religious ladies tend to do.

Je t This young guy is Jet! Although he is a little shy, he still loves people and would love someone to help him come out of his shell! He has plenty of energy and loves to play with toys, especially when people play with him! while he has lots of energy, he also can settle down inside and enjoys curling up next to a person’s feet.

2579 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 (530) 343-7917 • buttehumane.org

Now Hear This SYNTHESIS WEEKLY PLAYLIST Jeff Rosenstock

Tanner

Jeff Rosenstock - “Eastern Coast”

Liz

Marina and the Diamonds - “Lies”

Mike

Sage the Gemini - “College Drop”

Dinah

Rob Scallon - “Rain”

Andrea

Bear Hands - “Crime Pays”

Becca

The Cure - “Close to Me”

Alex

Lifeforms - “Perspectives”

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SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JULY 14 2014

They were deep in the trenches of gossip, their voices booming over the twangs and lilts of the traditional music—forcing us into that always difficult choice between competing with their volume to properly hear each other, or just giving in and eavesdropping hardcore.

Which is actually fine, because we were out of things to talk about.

We entered their conversation as they humble-bragged about their volunteer work; how much they had helped brighten the lives of this or that poor, destitute person, which segued into discussion of all the young people who were children of broken homes; how their lives were a [juicy] shambles.

It wasn’t holding my interest, and I started to drift off into thoughts of my mother. I’d had a dream about her the night before: we were living in the house I grew up in, but as adults who were the same age. We were talking about mundane things, and it was just really nice to see her again, especially to see her happy and healthy. All the while, while I’m recalling this dream, feeling a little wistful, they’re going on with horror stories of this drug addict and that abuse victim. Suddenly, one of them blurts, “You know I was at Val Olson’s funeral last year...”

I snapped to attention, and glanced over to see if this was somehow directed at me. “I was always so worried about her only daughter (ME!!), you know she was living on the streets with the dreadlocks and everything—and she came from a good family. Who knows what happened?”

Dain chose that moment to try to talk to me about his food or something, but I shushed the hell out of him and mouthed *they’re

talking about meeeeeee.* The other lady agreed wholeheartedly about how sad and bewildering my story was, and what a shame for my family, then they moved on to how raising kids in Paradise is a great way to keep them out of trouble compared to Chico, and also the internet is terrible up there, and one of the downstairs neighbors in one lady’s apartment building is having a baby (squee!). It was an excruciating 15 minutes of biting my tongue while making crazy faces at Dain.

So, first of all, I realize she meant ‘who knows what happened’ as in something outside of having divorced parents can send a person on an unfortunate path, rather than ‘who knows how that story ended.’ Still, I can’t help but think that if she was at my mom’s funeral, she knows I turned out fine and could maybe wrap up the story with “she sure is a looker nowadays though, and classy to boot!” Also, she should maybe recognize me if she thinks about me so much. Also, I wasn’t exactly “on the street” just because I was on the road— there’s a distinction in there somewhere, right? (Right?)

Indignation aside though, the odds of all these things coming together at once—the dream, the spontaneous dinner at just this restaurant with just these two other patrons, and then right as I’m thinking of her they happened to mention my mom by name, and then me having nothing to write about for my column… It’s pretty weird.

Letter From the Editor

by Amy Olson

amy@synthesis.net

We Live in Bubbles

Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA

by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff

COMING CLEAN AT THE LAUNDROMAT You are with me. Like me, you’ve suddenly found yourself living without laundry machines in your house for the first time in, like—in like forever. Things have reached Critical Stinkiness. (You’ve taken the most passably unstained t-shirt from The Pile, stuck your nose into the soft cotton and inhaled and oh god oh no that’s not going to work.)

So you—we—head over to the Laundromat.

In this case Bubbles Laundromat, next to a Baskin Robbins, in the Park Plaza shopping center on Mangrove.

We’re in that semi-sleepwalking plan-forming internal-dialogue-with-loved-ones-having daydreaming-automaton mode that we get in when we’re doing this sort of thing. And so you don’t pay much attention when you use your butt to open the door, hugging The Pile, and turn (leaving the door open just long enough for me to slip in too), and find yourself facing the machines, gleaming under the fluorescence.

The smells. Detergents. The detergents with all of their pathways to mom and care and childhood TV commercials (billowing white sheets on the line and running through bright green fields, those things got woven in there, they worked). The Laundromat’s color scheme is cream and fern-green, soothing and neutral. There’s no Muzak playing or TVs. Just tumbling, whirring; rhythmic in utero sounds.

But you don’t notice these things as you cross the checkered linoleum and put your quarters into the circa 1950 vending machine called The Soap Stop, with its satisfying chu-chunk sound/feel, and out plops your Tide, or maybe your Downy, and you separate into hot and cold and get your laundry going and sit down on one of the hard smooth benches, pull out your phone, go where you go. Away.

But what if we could stay right here? Like that old man over there, the one with the white goatee and the oddly feminine brimmed sunhat with a pink floral band around it.

What’s his deal? Let’s ask him.

“For me [the Laundromat] is embarrassing because it puts me in a public space where I don’t want to be,” says the man in the sunhat.

“Plus, I’m adverse to machinery.” The man in the sunhat doesn’t tell us his name. He has these really intense, burrowing brown eyes. “I don’t want to be in the public eye because of my laundry,” he says.

The man in the sunhat says he’s only been coming here for a few weeks. There was a woman, provided by the government (In Home Health Services), who helped him and his wife with a few chores. She did the laundry. But they had a falling out.

“She got to be too aggressive,” he says. “She wanted my wife to stop smoking.” Now the man in the sunhat has to get a ride or take an expensive taxi (“money out the window!”) with his clothes in a bag.

“My wife is dying,” he says. And he looks me right in the eyes.

“I’m sorry,” I say. Hold his burrowing brown gaze.

“It happens to everyone,” says the man in the sunhat.

To entertain himself, the man in the sunhat listens to Duke Ellington on a CD Walkman. “I get hope from music that swings,” he says.

“The problem with rock and roll is that it’s so loud it drowns out the words,” says the man in the sunhat. “When the words get less and less important our IQs go down and we will accept less and less. Screw the 21st Century,” he says.

The man in the sunhat ran from the draft. He was homeless for 12 years. He wanted to be a poet, tried. “I had one good job in all the years I was drinking,” he says. That job was mixing vitamins into animal feed in Nashville, a job he says he got “because I could read.”

The man in the sunhat looks around.

“I don’t think society could function without Laundromats,” he says. “Without Laundromats we would go even a step lower in quality of life than we already are.”

A dude in his royal blue Baskin Robbins uniform is doing his laundry on his break and/ or during his shift.

In the back a woman is quietly, slowly folding.

She’s from Texas and this is her second time here.

It doesn’t make her uncomfortable to have her underwear and whatnot out on display, she says. “But the stuff that makes normal people uncomfortable doesn’t make me uncomfortable,” says the woman. “Then again, the things that are comfortable for normal people sometimes aren’t comfortable for me. Because I’m mildly autistic.”

She has beautiful, clear pale blue eyes with dark blue rings at the outsides. Glasses hang at her bosom from a cord strung with colored beads.

I mention that this news surprises me because she makes such direct eye contact.

“I was trained from a very young age,” she says. She doesn’t say her name or say goodbye. She just takes her neatly folded pile back out to her white Nissan with a handicap placard hanging from the rearview mirror and drives off.

“It kinda forces you out of your apartment,” says an unmarried and childless jowly middleaged man with black socks in sneakers. “Cuz if you have your own machines you might not leave. My sister does laundry like every other day. But she has a laundry fetish,” he says.

Barbara Saunders, a 90-year-old woman with curly white hair says that about four months ago a man came in and went “zip plrp.” As she makes that sound, she mimes unzipping pants and then flopping out what, according to her miming (I didn’t follow up), was a penis somewhere between 1 ½ and 2 feet long.

Like peeing, I ask? “No, like showing off,” Mrs. Saunders says in her exceptionally creaky voice. (This says a lot more about the #yesallwomen bullshit that women have to put up with than it does about the Laundromat, I think). “I felt like telling him off,” she says. “Like saying ‘you old fool.’” She says he looked to be about 20 years her junior, about 70. Using the surveillance footage, they were able to catch the guy—the police, that is—she tells me.

I ask Mrs. Saunders how many times in her 90 years she’s been flashed and am relieved by the answer. “Just my husband,” she says. “Far as I can recall.”

Your clothes are dry now. They are warm. We fold. We take Our Piles, leave. You are not alone in anything, not even your loneliness.

That’s the thing about living in bubbles: all you have to is reach out and…pop!

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 5

The Wolf Among Us: Season One in Review FAIRY TALES AND BROKEN DREAMS

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I’ve already reviewed some of Telltale Game’s episodic The Walking Dead series, and The Wolf Among Us is extremely similar in that regard. Same art style, same writing team, same developer, same five-episodes-a-season format of high-interaction storytelling. One chief difference is that I jumped on this bandwagon a lot later, which isn’t too bad, considering The Wolf Among Us has just finished its first season, and The Walking Dead is nearing the close of its second. Since I was new to the scene, I decided to wait until The Wolf Among Us had finished its first season, and review the whole thing.

The setting is borrowed straight from the respected comic series Fables, written by Bill Willingham and published by Vertigo. It takes place in a small Manhattan neighborhood inhabited by “Fables,” the subjects of myths and legends both old and new, as they adjust to living in a new, modernized world, outside of the old fairy-tale life they had grown accustomed to. Or rather, completely fail to do so. You play the long-suffering, shorttempered sheriff (and only law enforcement officer) of this difficult, genuinely depressing community: Bigby, AKA The Big Bad Wolf, wearing a human face, dress shirt, and a tie.

Fabletown quickly becomes embroiled in a crisis that leads Bigby all over the neighborhood, tracking a case of murder, conspiracy, and racketeering that brings him into the underworld of Fabletown, where he proceeds to be beaten, shot, stabbed, rammed, tossed, chopped, bitten, and insulted. There is an extraordinary amount of

violence in this game, heightened by the fact that fables are stupendously durable, some more than others. Although there is plenty of player influence in the game’s decisions, it’s quite impossible to finish an episode without spilling a few gallons of blood, even if most of it is Bigby’s. Action takes up almost as much time as investigation and talking in this particularly eventful adventure game.

Part of what makes the game so cutting, and so interesting, is the nigh-dystopian atmosphere of Fabletown. Although the date is never pinned down, the aesthetics seem to suggest the ‘70s, and evoke the idea of the stagflation period. Almost everyone in Fabletown is in debt, out of work, or behind on their payments. Those that aren’t are either outrageously rich, or criminals, or both.

The Fables blame their government, and they blame Bigby, whom they all fear, hate, and desperately want mercy from. The morality steps into a darker shade of grey, and no matter how you play him, Bigby comes off as entirely out of his depth. As hopeless as the task can sometimes seem, Bigby, for all his flaws, is the only one pounding the pavement with the genuine goal to help.

Like many visual novels, the game isn’t particularly hard, as most decisions advance the story, yet the decisions feel hard, because the characters are hard, sometimes hard to not feel sorry for, or hard not to punch in the face. The first season takes the player into a dark and strangely real-feeling corner of New York, where fist-fighting Grendel and the Jersey Devil isn’t as hard or as painful as delivering eviction notices to cheeky talking toads and seeing fairy princesses turn tricks.

Productivity Wasted

by Eli Schwartz

Diamond and Price I TRIED TO READ JARED DIAMOND’S GUNS, GERMS, AND STEEL, AND ENDED UP FINISHING RICHARD PRICE’S LUSH LIFE INSTEAD. I love to read fiction, but I am not a great reader of non-fiction. I know this about myself, yet from time to time still feel the need to re-learn this.

counter-thought was: “Crichton could have explained the same things in three hundred and fifty pages, and it would have been a helluva lot more entertaining.”

The latest tome to reinforce my selfknowledge was Jared Diamond’s Pulitzer Prize winning Guns, Germs, and Steel—a book in which Diamond sets about to prove the obvious fact that the modern “progress” of some groups of people has nothing to do with genetics, and everything to do with the happenstance, prehistoric allocation of resources.

QWERTY Controversy

The book is written in a sort of academic-light style, in which Diamond poses a question, and then answers it. I don’t know what it is with modern academics and philosophers—they seem to think the higher the word count, the smarter the writing sounds. Teachers of fiction generally exhort writers to practice the mantra “less is more”; use as few words as possible to express what you are trying to say. Diamond praises himself repeatedly in the book for conveying all this remarkable wisdom in under five hundred pages—to which my

There were a handful of interesting facts I took away from the parts of the book I managed to plow through, but I was almost enraged to find out that the single most interesting anecdote Diamond relays was totally erroneous. Diamond claims that the QWERTY arrangement of the modern keyboard, arrived at during the early era of the manual typewriter, was designed with the specific intention of slowing down typists, because faster typing would cause the keys to become entangled.

To anyone bothering to engage synapses, this claim sounds absurd on its face; if a machine requires slower operation, the operator can readily adjust his or her speed accordingly.

While it is a popular myth, it is false—the arrangement of the keyboard had something to do with its ease for facilitating Morse code. I

don’t understand the specifics of its evolution, but Diamond’s claim is crap.

My Takeaway I guess my fundamental takeaway is that I don’t need to read five hundred pages to explain to me that racism is bull. I already know that. There are smart people, dumb people, strong people, weak people, etc., spanning across all races. When a large group of people is struggling relative to another large group of people, it is because the struggling group has less access to resources than the “succeeding” group. There, done.

So anyway, I struggled through three

quarters of the book, a painful half chapter at a time, before finally declaring “enough,” and picking up Richard Price’s Lush Life, an interesting piece of crime fiction that explores the collision of the “successful” and the generationally oppressed, in a New York City borough, through the focused lens of a murder investigation.

It took me about two and a half days to burn through that book. In it, Price took me on a harrowing, and highly engaging, tour of the results of imbalanced resource allotment.

Immaculate Infection

by Bob Howard Madbob@madbob.com

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 7

BY ALEX LIGHT

Meet Eric Fairchild, Alec Binyon, and Kyle Nies; bookkeeper, business manager, and roastmaster (respectively) of Great State Coffee Company. Their company’s opening celebration is this Friday (warehouse party, catering, a thousand people, live music, DJs, beer, coffee)... But if you like to get to know a guy before drinking his coffee (or attending his party), I provided this interview so you can do just that.

About That Coffee Life Alec. When I drink coffee in the morning and it’s good coffee, I feel like the whole world is laid out in front of me every morning.

The coffee says, “Go! Discover! Be fruitful! Go enjoy your day (Insert awkward/awesome hand gestures of the world unfurling)!” [Other vices] don’t give you that feeling.

Eric. I had Iron Canyon this morning. It’s a blend that we do. If I’m working at Naked Lounge that day, I’ll have more coffee. Like, iced coffee during the day. Two, three cups a day, easily. I love coffee! (He says it like he’s talking about his favorite kitten.)

Having some things that are the same every day… It brings simplicity, in a way. Routine.

8

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JULY 14 2014

Alec. It’s the one vice I would never give up. Someone asked me that just the other day: “If you were gonna have one vice, like, beer or coffee, which would you pick?”

Coffee, that’s easy.

Kyle. Coffee takes me back. My father was feeding me coffee on fishing trips as long as I can remember. I’ll drink coffee all throughout the day; it’s not just for waking up. I feel uplifted when I have coffee—Even when I just smell coffee. It’s a comfort zone that can probably be attributed to many, many personal things, some of which I’ll bet I haven’t even figured out yet.

Alec. It’s so complex. Good, roasted specialty coffee has more flavor compounds than red wine does. If you love food, and pay attention to food, well, coffee is one of the most complicated things you can put in your mouth.

We Are The Ghost In The Machine, Or, Craft Coffee Or Bust Alec. Diedrich probably sells more automatic roasters than these, at this point (He gestures to the fully manual behemoth of a coffee roaster that’s totally dominating the room we’re in). My life in coffee has always been with manual

espresso machines. When you take that person out of the loop, you can potentially have more consistency, but that comes at a cost: That kind of soul that you can infuse into any food. It’s like, if you take the baker out of really good bread and just have the machine do it, it’ll be the same every time, but it’s impossible for it to be as good as it would’ve been with the baker touching it. If it’s a really good baker; you need that person to be really good at what they’re doing. I don’t see us ever moving away from a manual process.

We give a high level of attention to our work, because I think really good green coffee deserves it.

Profiling a coffee bean can take up to 24 hours sometimes, but the farmers probably had to spend even more attention than that.

What tends to happen is, because [the USA] is the world’s biggest economy, we get the best coffee.

America’s full of excellent coffee.

And often the roaster will just make it brown. There are really great coffees that are just not treated with the level of attention that it cost the farmers to make them that good in the first place. Or, if you have a really good roaster, often what will happen is it’ll get to the retail café and they’ll brew it with water that’s

twenty degrees under temperature and you never get to taste it. And then the chain’s broken. Or, you pull an espresso three seconds too long and it tastes like salt and tar. We just want to be a responsible member of that chain of excellence, you know.

We have to do ALL this for it to be that good.

and you don’t just throw a batch in the roaster and wait for it to change to the color you want. You’re constantly [sampling it]; you’re always involving your palette. A lot of trial and error. And sometimes through errors you find something even better than what you were thinking you’d discover!

Kyle Nies, Roastmaster

For Every Bean, A Story: The Process Of Profiling

Kyle. Almost a decade ago, before I moved up to Chico, living in southern California, I was just barely getting into production roasting.

I was working under a gentleman with the title of ‘roastmaster’. That title includes the duties of creating the recipes for each roast, you know; the artistic value in coffee roasting comes from that position… Taking different beans, and constantly exploring from start to finish.

Through that I moved up to Chico; I needed a change, a slower pace of environment. I didn’t really know anything about the coffee scene in Chico. I had some family and friends that lived up here. I moved up here and just threw resumés at every coffee joint that I could. I’ve carried a position in a café for the past ten years, but always with the intention of getting to THIS point.

Starting a roastery from scratch was never in my mind, though. The goal was just to roast coffee. But it was nothing beyond that; until Alec and Eric bought Naked Lounge and said, “Come help us CREATE this whole thing!”

Syn. How’d you respond?

Kyle. Heeelll yeah! Of course! It was a scary thought… there’s a lot to it; I had no idea what to expect, but all three of us have a pretty keen eye on what Craft is.

Syn. What’s the process been like, from diving in, to now? How’s the journey been going?

Kyle. There’s always going to be more to learn. I’d say we’re handling it really well. We’re handling the profiling process ourselves, which is the most important part of roasting coffee: You select the quality of green beans you want,

Roastmaster Kyle. So, whenever we want to bring in a coffee, we’ll get little samples from one of our green bean importers, which come in 250 gram bags. “Royal” is one of our green bean importers (he gestures to a little cloth bag with a logo). We’ll run it through this little sample roaster, which can hold up to a pound and a half. (Compared to the monster roaster in the center of the room, this little silver contraption is completely adorable).

You do this to find a roast degree, as well as sample the coffee. We look for defects, anything we don’t like, or things that we do like. You’re not gonna nail it, obviously, the first time-well, you might, who knowsbut typically it’s just to get an idea.

And then you order the big bag of coffee, and you start the process of profiling. There are several stages in that. One stage is to find a roast degree: the color of the bean. Some coffees taste better at a lighter roast, and some coffees taste better at a darker roast. We try to stay away from over-roasting our coffees, which I feel is the tendency for a lot of older roasters; second wave/first wave coffee roasters. The purpose of that is consistency. It’s easy to not change the composition of a cup of coffee if it’s a roast-prominent cup of coffee. Like, if all you can taste is, you know, the roast, or, some people describe it as tasting burnt, or dark.

This Shit’s Cray, Yo Alec. Coffee’s crazy. It’s such a complex crop that you can have a coffee that looks a certain shade of brown, and then another one that’s the exact same shade of brown, and then arrive to that point with two totally different heating curves, or FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 9

time-frames. Like, you can roast it at 11 minutes or 13 minutes and get it to the same color. Depending on how you mess with the heat in the roaster, those two coffees, although they’re exactly the same in every other way, will taste completely different. So the profiling process we go through is this really exhaustive process of elimination.

box. He’s not influenced by culture. He’s rooted in the moment.

He’s a child of the west. Just like me.

discovering for the first time. We want a thousand people here, that’s our goal.

With Kyle, we share an interest in coffee, big time. I grew up in coffee, he grew up in coffee. Different methods, but similar levels of attention to it I think.

Every sample roast that we’re doing, we have this software that tracks all the variables, every variable that we need, real-time. This Austrian guy made the software; he also works with Intelligentsia, Verve [in Santa Cruz]… a lot of the people that really want it precise. The program plugs right into the roaster (he gestures to a Mac, with a cord running back into the monster-sized roaster); right into the temperature probing, and it gives us this really great data.

Kyle’s one of those rare people who has the ability to be a craftsman of the highest order, if he stays with it. That’s really important to me.

We’re gonna have food, the Winchester goose homeboys are putting up a pop-up bar here, I hope to get arrested (laughs)…

I just wanna blow it up. Whoever’s down to blow it out, they should come. Whoever’s afraid of tons and tons of fun, maybe should stay home.

So every time we do a sample roast we have all this data, all these checkpoints of what we did at this time, what we did at that time, to arrive at a given temperature curve. When we have one that tastes really good (which takes a lot of time since there’s a LOT of different variables), this is what allows us to be consistent with it, because we now have a target. Then we just scale it up.

Brotherly Love Is A Beautiful Thing Alec. Eric is my business partner, and we compliment each other in a lot of ways. For instance, he’s really, really sweet to people, and I tend to not have that first impression with people (although I am very, very loving). He’s a craftsman: makes beer at the house, builds structures, has a cow, raises chickens, hikes hard, rides his bike far, and fast. He’s not a pussy. There’s a bunch of reasons I chose the business partner that I did! He comes up with really clever ideas; he thinks WAY outside the 10

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JULY 14 2014

I’m not interested in making a living if I’m not making things.

I think that’s what keeps our community strong: The fact that we make things. It’s a dying art, you know? Everybody’s told they should go to college, and do all that kind of stuff, which is fine, but a lot of people come out of that not knowing how to DO anything. That’s a life none of us are really interested in. We just wanna make things.

All three of us have a vision for our lives: Make really good stuff; keep our lives relatively simple (even though we’re running a business). Make really high quality coffee to give to the community. Not live in poverty, yet be totally free. Work hard. I think all of us share that… We’re all outdoorsmen. We all ride bicycles. We love dogs. We have a lot in common!

The Great Warehouse Party Of 2014 Alec. The party’s gonna be crazy. It’s something that doesn’t happen very often anymore, where it’s in a warehouse. This whole industrial area of town empties out around five. It’s just a ghost town.

We tried to book bands for it that a lot people will be

Syn. I’ll blow it up. In a party hat.

Alec. The three of us, along with everyone who works for us, we encounter a wide circle of Chico, in all these different ways.

It’s gonna be a pretty diverse (as far as Chico goes) crowd. It should be interesting.

Syn. Is there gonna be coffee?

Alec. Oh yeah. Tons of coffee. And beer. And music. And food.

There you have it! Great State Coffee Company is located at 3881 Benetar Way, Suite C, in Chico. There’s a big sign in front, you can’t miss it. Party is Friday, July 18th, it starts at 6pm with Western Divide, Michelin Embers, Sisterhoods, and Trox & The Terribles, and DJs start spinning at 10pm.

SPLASH INTO

SUMMER! DOES YOUR CHILD LOVE THE WATER? IS YOUR CHILD READY TO MOVE ON FROM LESSONS?

NORTH VALLEY SWIM CLUBS ARE THE ANSWER!

Hey, you.

Wanna tell someone what’s what?

Wanna tell everyone what’s what?

We’re accepting submissions of 500 words for Unsolicited Advice.

editorial@synthesis.net

FOR MORE INFO CALL 345-6707

Summer Camp Sessions: Zumba, CrossFit, Swim Lessons, Fit Camps and more! Ages 6 months to 18 years old. For more info visit inmotionfitness.net or call 343-5678 ext 123 to sign up today!

344 WEST BTH ST I CHICO , CA I 530-343-2790

Food &

Drink Closed

We need to drink, too!

Mon-Fri

Pints

Open Mic Comedy Night Every Other Week!

Happy Hour2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom

6PM -close $1 Off Pitchers

$1.00 off PBR & Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

Happy Hour 12-4PM $3 Sierra & Domestic

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Pitchers

Closed

$3 Sierra and Domestic Pints $ 3.50 Kam is ALL DAY!

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.25 Everyda y!

Two Dollar Tuesda ys! $2 PBRs $2 Tacos!

Happy Hour2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom

Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

Closed

WING WEDNESDAY! $2 for 3 Wings

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM

Chicken Waffle Wed.!

8 ball Tourney 6pm

Full Bar in Back Room

sign-up

8PM-Close $2.50 Fire Eater Shots $5.50 DBL Bacardi

Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

Cocktails

Come see our beautiful

Closed

Patio! Happy Hour 4-6:

Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4PM $3 Sierra & Domestic

Wa nder Food Truck on

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Pints

Chico Jazz Collective 8-midnight Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra & Dom

Pitchers $3.50 Soccer moms

$1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

$6 Dbl Roaring Vod ka

Bartender Specials

Mon-Fri

$314oz. Siu shies $4 20oz. Siu shies

Happy Hour 12-4PM $3 Sierra & Domestic

Pints

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM

Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Weekend Blast Offl!

8-close $5 Blasters

Rock Out at The DL!

Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @llam All ages untill lOpm

$6.50 Pulled pork sand w/

fries or salad 25 cent wings from halftime 'til they're gone!

MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE BEER $3/4/5/6 $1 SHOTS FREE Pool after lOPM Chicken Strip Sand only $6.50 before 6 PM DOLLAR DAZE 6-9pm $1 Beer $1 Wells $2 Doubles FREE Pool after lOPM

Reuben Sand w/ fries or salad $6.50 5pm-Close 1/2 off kids items

Spm-Close Pitcher Specials $6/$9/$12 FREE Pool after lOPM

Baby Back Ribs $10.99 Philly Cheesesteak $7.50 6pm-Close $4 Grad teas $3 All beer pints FREE Pool after lOPM

10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/ Fries or Salad & Garlic Bread $8.99 8pm-Close $4 Jager $5 DBL Vodka Red Bull $6 Jager Red Bull

$2 Kamikaze shots FREE Pool after lOPM

Bartender Specials $314oz. Siu shies

Tacotruck.biz and Beers on

$4 20oz. Slushies

Open at llAM $4.50 Bloody Mary $5.50 Absolut Pep par Bloody Marys Noon -6PM $8 / $9 SN Dom Pitchers $5.50 DBL Bacardi

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM

Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Rock Out at The DL!

Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @llam All ages untill lOpm

Baby Back Ribs w/Sa lad, Fries & garlic bread $10.99 8pm-Close $4 Single/$6 Double

Jack or Captain $2 Sierra Nevada FREE Pool after lOPM

Cocktails

WE OPEN AT 12:00PM MIMOSAS WITH FRESH

CLOSED

lOAM -2PM $5 Bottles of Champagne

with entree

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.25 Everyday!

$4.50 Bloody Mary $5.50 Absolut Pep par Bloody Marys

Free Pool with Purchase!

LOO off Sierra and Dom Pitchers

$5.19 Grad/Garden/ Turkey Burgerw/fries

$1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans

Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call, $5 Top, $6 Goose Mimosas $2/flute, $5/pint $6 Beer Pitchers FREE Pool after lOPM

25rn ANNIVERSARY SEND US PHOTOS/VIDEOS OF YOUR FAVORITE MEMORABLE MOMENTS AT DUFFY'S! DUFFYSMEMORIES@GMAIL.COM +TALENT SEARCH 12

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

JULY 14 2014

337MAIN Sl FOR ANNIVERSARY GONG SHOW 9/27- CONTACT US

or salad

~ cf ~) ~~{9'~ ~~!I

Lounge

V1pu1tra

C HI CO CA

Closed

Go Down Lo

BEAR-E-OKE

Happy Hour ll-6PM select bottles & drafts $3

CLOSED

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. llam-lOpm.

Closed

Go DownLo

Closed

Go DownLo

HappyHour4-8pm Ladies Night!

BB pm-CLOSE $5 Pabst pitchers $2 shot boa rd $4 Moscow Mules $3 Jamo and Ginger

LIVE JAZZ Drink Specials Early Bird Special 9-lOPM 1/2 off wells

BEAR WEAR! 1/2 off w hile wea ring Bear Wea r.

MUG CLUB 4-lOPM

$2.50 Select Sierra Neva da or Dom Drafts $2 Kam is -any flavo r All Day

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour4-8pm 10- Close: $2 Bartender Shot Specials $3 SkyyVodka Cocktails $5 Dbl Bacardi orSoCo Cocktails

TRI KE RACES! Post time @ lOpm. Win T-shirts and Bear Bucks.

MUG CLUB 4-lOPM

All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3 All Day

$3.SOSkyyyVodka Cocktails $3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour4-8pm

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49. llam-lOpm.

Happy Hour ll-6PM $3 select bottles & drafts $2.50 16oz Wells All Day

9pm-Close $212oz Teas $3 20oz Teas $2 We ll, Dom Bottles & bartender Specials $5 Vodka Red Bull

2 FOR 1 BURGERS ALL DAY!!

MINORS WELCOME!

Closed

CLOSED

Happy Hour4-7pm

Closed

Closed

l /20 FF EVERYTHING!!!

Happy Hour4-7pm $1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!!

RRHNOVATIONS JULY 15 - JULY 23

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!

Buck Night 8-Close $1 we ll cocktails, Sierra Nevada Pale Ale, Rolling Rock, dom draft $3 Black Butte $4 Vodka Red bull

Closed

HAVE AHAPPY SUMMER

Spm -Close $4151 Party punch 22oz.

Closed

WE WILL RE-OPEN ON THURSDAY JULY 24TH

8-9pm $1 Pale Ale and Dom. Draft Up $0.25 per hour until

134 BROADWAY ST, CHICO, CA I 530.893.5253

close Buck Hour 10:30 -11:30 HappyHour4-8pm

LIVE MUSIC Drink Specials

FIREBALL FRIDAYS!!!

SPM -Close $3 Fireball Shots $4 Big Teas $3 Coronas

LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM

Select Pints $3

Early Bird Special 9-lOPM 1/2 off wells

Opening at Spm for

LIVE MUSIC Drink Specials

BO's NIGHT!!

B pm-CLOSE

$4 Sauza Margaritas $3 Kam is $3 Shocktop & VIP pint

KARAOKE "INDUSTRY NIGHT"

Call To Rent For Private Party

HALF OFF ALMOST EVERYTHING! (Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors) Specials All Day!

Happy Hour4-8pm

LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM

Early Bird Special 9-lOPM 1/2 off wells

B PM-CLOSE

Go Downlo

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries orsalad for $5.49. llam-lOpm.

$4 Sex On The Beach $4 Sierra Neva da Knightro ON TAP $1 Jello Shots 7-lOPM $3 Fireball

$4 World Famous Bloody Joe $5 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials

Happy Hour-4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-Spm Most food items and pitchers of beer are $5

Power Hour B - 9pm 1/ 2 Off Liquor & Drafts (excludes pitchers) 9PM - Close $3 Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pitchers

Open at lOPM

Hot "Dawgs" ALL DAY!

Mon. - Sat. 3PM - 6PM $1 Dom. draft, $2 SN Draft, $2Wells Power Hour B - 9PM $3 Pale Ale Drafts $9.75 Pitchers

BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available!

Happy Hour4-8pm

Champagne Brunch llam-2pm $3 Champagne with entree

CLOSED

BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available!

Call for reservation 898-9898 Large selection of wines, sangrias and Martinis.

Call for reservation 898-9898 Open at lOPM Large selection of wines, sangrias and Martinis.

CLOSED

Champagne Brunch and SPORTS!

Champagne Brunch llam-2pm Every Sunday $3 Champagne with purchase of an entree

117 E 2nd St, Chico (530) 895-8817

117 E 2ND ST • DOWNTOWN CHICO FACEBOOK.COM /SYNTHESISCHICO

13

This Week Only...

BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT

Thursday, July 17th

I AM LEGEND BLUE ROOM THEATRE

Brewfish from Long Beach is a three-piece rock group that’s, crisp, tight, and catchy. Touches of Reggae, Dub, and Sumblime-stuff, along with all the good party vibes that go along with that kind of thing. The bass is the best part, as it should be. The boring lyrics are compensated by their awesome delivery. Also featuring Jesi Naomi. $5, 8pm.

It was a 1954 horror novel, then it was a mediocre Will Smith action movie, and now it’s a Chico theatre classic in the making. Neville is the sole human survivor after a global pandemic turns everyone into vampire/ zombie things. Based on the original 1957 screenplay by the novel’s author Richard Matheson. Adapted and directed by Craig Blamer. This Friday, Saturday, & Sunday, 7pm, $10. Additional performances next Friday & Saturday as well.

Saturday, July 19th

Saturday, July 19th

Three part harmonies à la Queen explode into huge rock anthems full of guitar squeals, pianos, and huge drums in Major Powers’ track “93,000,000 Miles.”

Within seconds of listening to these guys I felt cooler, bigger, prettier, and more fantastic. These Oakland natives are going to blow 1078 away. Also ft. Wanderers And Wolves, Bandmaster Ruckus, & Failure Machine. $5, 7:30pm SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JULY 14 2014

Friday, July 18th

BREWFISH: REGGAE-ROCK POWER TRIO FROM LONG BEACH LOST ON MAIN

MAJOR POWERS & THE LO-FI SYMPHONY, WANDERERS AND WOLVES, AND MORE 1078 GALLERY

14

SUBMIT YOUR EVENTS TO CALENDAR@SYNTHESIS.NET

EVERYBODY IN OUTER SPACE LOST THEIR MARBLES CHICO WOMEN’S CLUB

The babes of sexy intergalactic self-expression return for a third dance performance that’s equal parts burlesque, theatre, rock show, and performance art. Aubrey Debauchery & The Broken Bones will be performing music composed especially for the event.

The story involves a Thomas Livingston, whose dull life is suddenly filled with hallucinations of strange, fantastic goddesses. $12, adv., $15, 7:30pm

New & Exciting: Ongoing Events: 16 Wednesday

3rd & Normal: Chico Performances hosts a street party. Food trucks, live music. Kyle Williams, Max Minardi, The Ocean Blue Band. Starts at 7am

17 Thursday

LaSalles: The QuasiMofos at the back patio. No cover, 6-9pm Lost On Main: Brewfish, Jesi Naomi. $5, 8pm Monstros: Jens B-Day Bash! Criminal Wave, Outside Looking In, M Section, Rad! (that’s a band). 8pm

18 Friday

Blue Room Theatre: I Am Legend. $10, 7pm Chico Art Center: “Discover Series II” opening reception. 5-7pm City Plaza: Alli Battaglia & The Musical Brewing Co. 7-8:30pm Great State: Grand Opening. 3881 Benetar Way, Ste. C. Music, food, beer, dancing. 6pm LaSalles: Happy Hour with Matt McBride. 4-8pm Chain Gang CD Release Party. 9pm Lost On Main: Seedless 10DenC. 8pm Peking: BassMint. Jason (Watertruck Sound) ft. MCs TyBox, Himp C, and Side Show. 9:30pm Maltese: Surrogate, Touch Fuzzy Get Dizzy. $5, 9pm

19 Saturday

1078 Gallery: Wanderers And Wolves, Bandmaster Ruckus, Major Powers And The Low-Fi Symphony (SF), Failure Machine (Reno). $5, 7:30pm.

Barnes & Noble: Brianne Tufts Book Signing. 1-3pm Blue Room Theatre: I Am Legend. $10, 7pm Chico Theatre Company: Singin’ In The Rain. $20 adults, $12 children, 7:30pm Chico Women’s Club: Everybody In Outer Space Lost Their Marbles. $12 adv., $15 door, 7:30pm LaSalles: Happy Hour with Hippie Trap. 4-8pm

14 Monday

The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm Chico Womens Club: Prenatal Yoga.

5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Pool League. 3 player teams, signup with bartender. 7pm.

All ages until 10pm Maltese: Open Mic Comedy or Music, alternates every week. Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm. Mug Night 7-11:30pm The Tackle Box: Latin Dance Classes.

Free, 7-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Yoga Center Of Chico: Sound Healing w. Emiliano. Breathwork, Meditation, Healing.

15 Tuesday

100th Monkey: Fusion Belly Dance mixed-level class, with BellySutra. $8/class or $32/month. 6pm Open Mic plus showcase by local musicians. 7pm Chico Women’s Club: Yoga. 9-10am.

Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm. Followed by Capoeira, $3-$10. 7:30-8:30pm Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+ DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-10pm LaSalles: ’90s night. 21+ Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-Close Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke.

8:30pm-1am The Tackle Box: Karaoke, 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Trivia Challenge. Call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts 6:30pm

16 Wednesday

Avenue 9 Gallery: “Carlos Loarca in Chico,” paintings of Guatemalan

folklore. 12-5pm The Bear: Trike Races. Post time 10pm Chico Women’s Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm DownLo: Wednesday night jazz.

8 Ball Tournament, signups 6pm, starts 7pm Duffys: Dance Night! DJ Spenny and Jeff Howse. $1, 9pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Jesus Center: Derelict Voice Writing Group, everyone welcome.

9-10:30am The Maltese: Friends With Vinyl!

Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable.

9pm-1am The Tackle Box: Line Dance classes.

Free, 5:30-7:30pm. Swing Dance classes. Free, 7:30-9:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Laurie Dana.

7-9pm Woodstocks: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm

17 Thursday

Avenue 9 Gallery: “Carlos Loarca in Chico,” paintings of Guatemalan folklore. 12-5pm The Beach: DJ Mack Morris.

10:30pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. Free, 9pm DownLo: Chico Jazz Collective.

8-11pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Has Beans Downtown: Open Mic Night. 7-10pm. Signups start at 6pm Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke. 8pm-midnight LaSalles: Free live music on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close Panamas: Buck night and DJ Eclectic & guests on the patio. 9pm

20 Sunday

Blue Room Theatre: I Am Legend. $10, 7pm Chico Women’s Club: Everybody In Outer Space Lost Their Marbles. $12 adv., $15 door, 7:30pm

EAT. DRINK. PLAY. Find Out How you Can Play Pool for Only $1/Day!

Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy.

9pm-1am University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm VIP Ultra Lounge: Acoustic performance with Bradley Relf. 7-9pm. No Cover.

Woodstocks: Open Mic Night Yoga Center Of Chico: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson. 7:30-9:30pm

18 Friday

100th Monkey: Acoustic Music Singer Songwriter Showcase.

7:30pm Avenue 9 Gallery: “Carlos Loarca in Chico,” paintings of Guatemalan folklore. 12-5pm The Beach: DJ2k & Mack Morris.

9pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. Free, 9pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg. 11am Chico Art Center: “Discover Series II.” 10am-4pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Fusion Fridays, the best country, rock, oldies, 80s & top 40. Country dance lessons 9-10:30pm DownLo: ½ off pool. All ages until 10pm. Live Music, 8pm Duffys: Pub Scouts - Happy Hour.

4-7pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party.

8pm-midnight LaSalles: Open Mic night on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Happy hour with live jazz

by Bogg. 5-7pm. LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm Panamas: Jigga Julee, DJ Mah on the patio. 9pm Peeking: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $3. 9:30pm Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm Sultan’s Bistro: Bellydance Performance. 6:30-7:30pm

University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

19 Saturday

Avenue 9 Gallery: “Carlos Loarca in Chico,” paintings of Guatemalan folklore. 12-5pm The Beach: DJ Mah. 9pm The Bear: DJ Dancing. No Cover.

9pm Chico Art Center: “Discover Series II.” 10am-4pm Crazy Horse Saloon: Ladies Night Dancing. 10pm-1:30am DownLo: 9 Ball tournament.

Signups at noon, starts at 1pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing. 70s and 80s music. The Molly Gunn’s Revival! 8pm-midnight LaSalles: 80’s Night. 8pm-close Maltese: Dragopolis. $3, 10pm Panamas: DJ Eclectic on the patio.

9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

20 Sunday

Chico Art Center: “Discover Series II.” 10am-4pm Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. Free-style dance wave, $8-$15 sliding scale.

10am-12:30pm DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pm LaSalles: Karaoke. 9pm Maltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm. Trivia 8pm Tackle Box: Karaoke, 8pm

LESSONS, LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS! GREAT FOOD! LIVE MUSIC! 319 Main Street (530) 892-2473 FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 15

On The Town 16

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JULY 14 2014

by logan kruidenier - logankruidenier.tumblr.com

Sh*t Wizard

After spending the weekend in the bay area, it was more than a little difficult to come back to the sweaty ballsack known as Butte County. The shock of going from a breezy, mild temperature to the stupid hot climate of Chico was akin to the time my man-friend’s cat woke me up by biting my face. Surprise and pain followed by blinding anger. I’ve come to the conclusion (as I do every summer in this godforsaken place) that I’m really not a summer person. I like the idea of summer, but not so much the actual experience. Sure, I like the highlights. The midnight bike rides, sitting on a porch at dusk and listening to the crickets, and of course, the river. Coming with summer is of course the blinding heat, the stroller-palooza that is the Thursday night market, and the fact that every time you go outside at night you must wear shoes lest you risk re-creating the scene in Temple of Doom when Indy, Shortround & the blonde afterthought realize they’re trodding on cockroaches. Crunch, crunch, vomit.

I blame my ancestors. My Russian/Scottish heritage better prepares me for eating nothing but soup, wearing scratchy sweaters, and a predisposition for depression than it does for sweating miserably like a piece of cheese dropped on a sidewalk. I know I’ve been talking about the weather a lot lately, but I have trouble focusing on things that aren’t immediately in front of me. Speaking of which,

one of the windows open on my laptop is a delightful new webcomic by Megan Rosalarian Gedris about a little girl who attends a school for mutants. The little girl’s super power?

Fecal kinesis. She can control poop. A shit wizard, if you will. Or “witch” I suppose, if you’re hung up on gender. In any case, it’s pretty fantastic. The full comic can be found at: rosalarian.tumblr.com Since I began on such a sour (and sweaty) note, I’d like to end on a positive. Many of you may know Rob Reeves, a Chico-native who has played in local bands like Team Shark Week, Horsefight, and Slow Down Theo. Well hold onto your butts, because this dapper gentleman is getting hitched! Many of you may know Rob from his photography and jaunty moustache, or his beautiful lady-friend Kat from her popular fashion-based Instagram feed, “Fashion Pen Pals.” Congratulations to them both, here’s hoping they have a wonderful life together that’s heavy on rich adventures and creative undertakings, and sparse on sweaty summers and cockroach stomping. Unless they’re into that. Anyway, congratulations!

Comical Ruminations

by Zooey Mae

zooey@synthesis.net

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

On The Town

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 17

ICED COFFEE THROWDOWN We pit eight local (or, in the case of It’s A Grind, locally owned franchise) coffee houses head to head, comparing their Iced Coffees in an often heated competition (see what I did there?). While taste is a matter of, well, you know, in the end we came out with a couple of clear winners whose balanced and round flavors appealed to everyone, several very close contenders whose strong personalities divided the group into love or hate, and a room full of humminbird-people starting 50 different projects a minute.

THE CONTENDERS Place

Price/Size

Method

Beans

Roaster

Coffee Ranch

$4.00/24oz

Cold Brew

Pablo’s Coffee

It’s A Grind

$2.95/36oz

Cold Brew

Danger Monkey (East African and Sumatra blend) Special toddy blend

Tin Roof

$3.25/24oz

Cold Brew

Songbird Guatemalan

Thanksgiving Coffee

Has Beans

$4.70/24oz

Cold Brew

Dark French Roast

Their own roast

Mondo’s

$2.35/24oz

Hot Brew

Blend of Chiapas and House

Grounds for Change

Naked Lounge

$2.50/16oz

Cold Brew

Their own roast

Empire Coffee

$3.00/16oz

Cold Brew

Cal Java

$3.50/24oz

Hot Brew

Honduras Beneficio Santa Rosa Cycles through the week, we tried Nicaraguan Blend

Their own roast

Insight Coffee Their own roast

THE RANKINGS OUR WINNER!

Coffee Ranch I know what you’re thinking, “Where the hell is Coffee Ranch?” It’s right across from In Motion, where that weird Christian place, Higher Grounds used to be. This was the clear favorite in every round, landing in everybody’s top two no matter what direction their taste preferences leaned. It was generally described as well rounded, nutty, with hints of caramel and dark chocolate.

R U N N E R- U P

It’s A Grind If the name seems oddly familiar, you may recognize It’s A Grind as the only coffee they drank on Showtime’s Weeds. For people who prefer a very mild coffee that drinks easily, speaks softly, and has subtle notes of nuts and chocolate, this was a very pleasant and inoffensive choice—though some found it too much so. This locally owned franchise is located way the hell out on Eaton and Esplanade, but they’ll reward your journey with a GINORMOUS 36oz of smooth iced coffee for less than three dollars.

18

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JULY 14 2014

Tin Roof

Naked Lounge

People generally liked its sweet smell and fruity, extra-dark chocolate taste, although some people just prefer a deeper, more roasty coffee. Some tasters described notes of caramel or citrus, while others cited nuts and tart berries. Overall it was a refreshing and very summery brew, and would be a great choice for people with a sweet tooth. Located Downtown on 7th and Broadway.

This was possibly our most polarizing coffee, splitting our tasters into staunchly opposite camps. The flavor is extremely bold, distinctly smoky and rather tart. For the people who liked it, those characteristics were the stuff dreams were made of, and for the detractors those same elements left them suspicious and put off. Basically if you like a strong personality and a uniquely smoky taste, this is your coffee. Located Downtown on 2nd street.

Has Beans If you like a dark French roast, this is the one. People who liked it described it as earthy, roasty, and bold without being too bitter, although for some it was just a little too French-roasty for a cold drink. At first sip you’ll get a quick sour punch, followed by the melting bitterness typical of the French. Has Beans has been roasting here in town since 1976, and have locations on Humboldt Ave and Downtown on 5th and Main.

Mondo’s This coffee scored surprisingly high for a coffee brewed hot and then chilled, which is a testament to the difference the quality of beans and the care in preparation can make. Unfortunately you can’t avoid that slightly stale aftertaste that comes from the hot brewing method. Overall it was a smooth and pleasant coffee, described as nutty and somewhat caramelly. Please start cold brewing, Mondos! Located on Nord Ave across from Safeway.

Empire Much like Naked Lounge, Empire’s brew was a bit of a punch to the mouth. For some, the extremely tart and bright flavor was very enjoyable, and for others it was too much. One taster described it as being like surprise butt sex: a shock at first, but then you get into it. All in all, it was agreed that this would be a great sometimes-coffee in a smaller dose, and seemed to be of a higher concentration, packing plenty of caffeine per ounce.

Located in the train car at the depot on 5th and Orange.

Cal Java The unfortunate aspects of the hot brewing method came through all too strongly in this one. The high points included a lemony tartness and bright flavor (though many said too bright), but then the stale aftertaste came in—described by one of our panelists as a blend of pool water and the ash hit of a pipe. Cal Java does have convenience on its side, boasting locations on East Ave, Esplanade, Notre Dame Blvd, inside the Butte College Chico Center, on the Butte College Main Campus, and on 8th/9th street, but they should seriously consider switching to cold brew.

High Sierra WORDS AND PHOTOS BY ALAN SHECKTER Always well-attended by thrill-seekers from Chico and its surrounds, the 24th annual High Sierra Music Festival in Quincy satisfied the bohemian itch for upwards of 10,000 revelers over the Fourth of July weekend.

Music was delivered from stages small to massive during the four-day affair, and the staff, volunteers, and the facility itself nicely accommodated all the merriment that was thrown at it, which was considerable. The campgrounds were a typically tight-fitted affair, but a diverse set of food vendors were abundant and kept late hours, portable toilets were kept clean, free water was plentiful, and self-contained portable sink trailers and showers helped keep it all civilized. Of course, when it came to showers, some opted for Dr. Bronner’s clothing-optional community foam bath.

Headliners included Widespread Panic, Beats Antique, STS9, and Ms. Lauryn Hill, the latter of which kept true to her reputation for undependability, souring a whole lot of people by taking the stage 45 minutes late after a DJ awkwardly tried to bridge the time gap.

Aside from those that received top billing, dozens of jam band types and several crossgenre acts filled the days and nights. Each one had its own nuances of electronica, funk, reggae, world fusion, and/or bluegrass. Some of the biggest fun was found “discovering” a performer that had not before been on one’s radar. Attendees were also rewarded with a couple of legendary heritage artists— bluegrass legend Del McCoury (age 75), and Jamaican guitarist Ernest Ranglin (82).

Other layers of the fest that allowed festivalgoers to mold their weekends in a variety of ways included the famed late-night concerts that raved till 4am; events on “The Lawn” that included tight-rope walking, acro yoga, and fire dancing; artist playshops and Troubadour Sessions that hosted some bigname performers in intimate settings; Jam in the Van sessions, RV rooftop performances, World Cup viewing; beer and wine tastings; kid-friendly activities, and high-energy daily parades. Campgrounds, which usurp several different patches of ground around the fairgrounds, provided comfortable, if compact, residences for friends to rest, share food and drink, and otherwise share in the weekend’s adventures.

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 19

From Parts Unknown Every Time I Die

ALBUM REVIEW BY ALEX LIGHT

When I found out Every Time I Die’s new album would be recorded at GodCity Studio

by Kurt Ballou, I felt excitement, and also trepidation. Some of the greatest metal albums I’ve heard are recorded by Ballou— Board Up The House by Genghis Tron, Axe To Fall by Converge—and it seems like a great metal producer, plus a great metal band, SHOULD equal sonic bliss. On the other hand, ETID has been flirting with mediocrity ever since coming down from the high of their stellar 2005 album Gutter Phenomenon… and if Ballou doesn’t bring a fresh creativity out of them, I’ll be ready to write off one of my favorite bands for good.

A lot was riding on Unknown, and I’m happy to say it measures up. It’s not that the music is notably different from the last couple ETID records; this one just has more focus and more soul behind it.

You’ll get the familiar formula; it’s almost identical to their iteration in 2012’s Ex Lives—A few blistering opening tracks that have the singer screaming obscenities at you over really fast, really heavy metal, then more party anthems and straight rockabilly influences the farther into the album you go.

On The Town 20

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JULY 14 2014

All of it is a lot like Ex Lives, but it’s all executed with much more finesse. The spirit of hardcore band Converge’s amazing songwriting is present in both albums, but it’s able to find

a clearer expression here, with Converge’s songwriter Kurt Ballou behind the mixing board.

The standout track here is “Moor,” where the album drops its rock band formula for a moment in favor of a heavy, brooding piano riff that frames the singer’s laissezfaire-morose crooning before growing into a sludge-y, heavy-as-fuck death anthem. The song had potential to go to a completely different musical territory… ETID decided instead to do their familiar loud screaming thing… But it’s still one of the better songs.

The overall tone of this album is the best part, thanks to Ballou. The drums are clear, ballsy, and not too loud, and the guitars are an accurately chaotic mess of heaviness. Vocalist Keith Buckley is dialed back in the mix for the first time since 2003’s Hot Damn, and the result is a balanced, singular beast of a mix.

Every instrument lends itself to every other one, helping to frame what’s important—not any one aspect, but the entire band itself.

You won’t find anything groundbreaking here, but this is still one of ETID’s greatest albums.

There isn’t a lot to be excited about in metal and hardcore these days, but this band is still very original, and very much in the top tier.

There and Back Again A HARDCORE CAR-CAMPER COUNTS HER BLESSINGS. 1. Bug spray! This summer I’ve discovered the bitey-repelling qualities of herbs like lavender oil, but in the woods they just weren’t enough of a deterrent. Cue the sticky nasty stuff—it may be gross-smelling chemical soup, but it gits ‘er done. Yeah, suck it, mosquitoes!… Or don’t, actually. Hah. 2. Sharing space with wild critters, including tiny bunnies, hunting osprey, a cool-ass owl, coyotes, deer, crazy-sounding birds, and one ginormous slug (six inches long, minimum).

3. Rain on the tent roof while we grinned and burrowed into our sleeping bags like pocket gophers.

4. Campfire. It’s not really necessary in this day and age, but there’s just something deeply, sweetly primal about having one (ignoring the fact that we started ours with Duraflame logs and one of those long clicky lighter things). It does help keep the bugs away, and on this trip was also a crematorium for a pair of shorts I’d ripped earlier in the day.

Which reminds me of another time-honored part of camping: 5. Being drunk in public.

6. No worries about makeup or clothes. I don’t fuss too much with them ordinarily, but not having to even make an effort is so freeing. I camp; therefore, I am shlumperdik.

10. The first thing I did was jump into a shower that stayed hot for more than three minutes at a time. The campground showers used tokens, and it was my first time using that system. If you’ve ever endured the weird gymnastics and timing tricks that entails, you know how delicious that first shower back home is.

11. The next morning, I cooked a real breakfast. Refrigeration grants a much wider range of ingredient choices, and dishes can just get popped into the ‘washer (if you’re lucky enough to have one). Like zero cleanup, comparatively speaking.

12. Didn’t have to put on shoes to go to the bathroom, or otherwise risk stepping on something sharp or awful.

7. Being close enough to civilization that we could eat out most nights. Campsite cooking is fine, but having someone else do the prep and cleanup has its rewards.

13. The Mr. and I were still on good terms after being stuck together 24/7 for an entire week.

As independent and ornery-minded as we can each be, that’s saying quite a bit.

8. A reliable car that comfortably got us to and from. (Anyone who’s ever known what it’s like to have one that isn’t can relate here!)

14. Road trips in general. Along with camping, it’s a great reset switch. Early morning on the open road = Best. Feeling. Ever.

More tidbits awaited, upon our return…

It’s good to get out into the world and experience new and different things… but so is coming home.

9. Essentially got mugged by the cat the second we hit the door. She’s getting downright stalkerish in her dotage, and was making vocalizations I’d never heard out of her before as she happy-shimmied all over the carpet.

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

On The Town

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Consider the Platypus

by Mona Treme

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 21

JULY 14, 2014

BY KOZ MCKEV

Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

Knowing what you owe and what is owed to you seems to be a theme this week. Monday begins with harmonious social aspects. Plan on accomplishing much. Wednesday night through Friday features a moon in Aries. Be ready to come up with something new yet workable with tradition. Find out about the things in your life that make you comfortable. Be certain to try to honor your parents in some way, big or small.

The weekend looks good for affirming values, making finances work and getting to enjoy a good meal.

Bloom where you are planted. Take time out for short trips so you can enjoy your natural environment more.

Communication should improve dramatically this week.

Your feet are on the ground.

You know where you are going and what you are doing.

Venus moves into your third house bringing renewed passion for performance art, old friends, siblings and telling a good story. The moon will be in Taurus Saturday and Sunday. Explore your boundaries and stretch your limits for something new and exciting.

Listen to something better than static or white noise.

Your ears and throat are more sensitive centers for you these days. You are becoming more aware of your desires, needs and sensual appetite. Mercury and Venus move into your second house of values. Ambition alone is not enough. You take on other people due to expectation. You’ll need to conform to public expectations to a point. Your economic situation will slowly but surely recover. It’s best to lay low over the weekend and take care of the business at hand.

The wind is in your sails and you are ready to move the boat forward. Good things continue to come your way.

Money will come to you, be it through hard work or good decisions. Venus moves into Cancer this week, making you sweeter and more attractive.

The moon in Pisces Monday evening through most of Wednesday glide through a lot of little challenges. The weekend looks good for socializing and parties. Drop the need to feel insecure. All people experience vulnerability from time to time.

This is the closing of one era and the beginning of another.

You face your own isolation and spiritual karma. A renewal of generosity and hope has come to your soul. Be grateful even in the face of adversity.

This Wednesday night through Friday looks good for travel or for a spiritual retreat of some nature. Try something new or different. The weekend looks good for displaying your talents and skills. Pay attention to messages in dreams and work on getting a good night’s sleep.

Make the most of your alliances this week. Be willing to tone it down enough to work like a team player. The romance meter is high as well, especially when Venus enters your eleventh house on Friday.

Flirtation and light hearted affairs come with more ease.

Let go of expectations. See the good qualities in all that surround you. Be a fountain of gratitude. The weekend looks excellent for a trip, an educational experience, or for spiritual upliftment. Practice kindness and patience every chance you get.

Libra

Scorpio

Saggitarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

The fulfillment of your personal will is known to all those around you. You have demonstrated a certain kind of motivational drive. Your social life is getting richer.

Good people will appear just when you need them. Making relationships work is part of this week’s current theme.

You stand a good chance of being rewarded at work.

The weekend looks good for letting go of what is no longer yours. Toward the end of the work week some sort of negotiation will take place.

Some of your creativity will enter the workplace.

You’ve been seeking more of a higher wisdom. Ordinary education is not enough.

It’s time for some soul truth.

Travel and higher educational pursuits go well during this period. Monday night through most of Wednesday your creative inspiration runs high with the moon transiting your fifth house. Thursday it’s important to stay focused on difficult tasks, breathe deeply and make a courageous effort. The weekend looks good for romance and relaxation.

Forgiving others and admitting to the damage you may have caused goes a long way.

The adventure has begun.

The struggle will diminish and your success comes with the price of living through sacrifice. Your intellectual hunger is high. This could also be a good time to consider going back to school. On Wednesday morning Jupiter goes into your ninth house, emphasizing exotic experiences and living by a higher philosophy.

You are likely to be luckier than usual for the next year.

The weekend looks good for charitable causes, health and lifestyle upgrades, as well as being part of a team that serves other people.

Making the most of your potential with others is a theme here. Without negotiation we are lonely and unappreciated. Compromise is how we build a reputation for give and take. Saturn goes direct this coming Sunday afternoon. You will get your life back on track. Venus enters your seventh house on Friday allowing you to become a more desirable person. You’ll say the right thing at the right time. The weekend looks good for love and play with the moon transiting your fifth house. Stay sensitive to the needs of others.

Koz McKev is on YouTube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.1FM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horoscopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net

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SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM JULY 14 2014

Most of Monday features the moon in your first house. Begin the week full steam as you can accomplish much. Relationships become richer as Jupiter enters your seventh house this week. You’ll find both excess and spiritual wisdom in the people that you meet. Hard work and sticking your nose to the grindstone is what it’s all about. The weekend looks good for being a homebody or for visiting parents. Do things to help improve your everyday work life.

Saturn moving direct will help your career.

Appreciate the good while you have it. Jupiter moving from your fifth house to your sixth house leads me to believe that laughter is good for your health and well being. You’ll find a new joy in being at work. The moon will be in Pisces Monday evening through most of Wednesday. You’re on a roll with creative flow and overcoming obstacles. The weekend looks good for taking a short trip, catching up on communiques or learning to appreciate where you live. Did I mention that your love life could get a little sweeter too?

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