Synthesis Weekly – December 1, 2014

California Honeydrops page 18

6H 6 HOUR AUGUST 25. FREE, FREE, FREE!

workout program demo

BALLET

L

RECITA

EXTRA QUALITY VIDEO TAPE

FOUND FOOTAGE FESTIVAL

NEW OUTDOOR HEALTH CLUB ...COMING SOON TO CHICO

OUTDOOR WEIGHT MACHINES

OUTDOOR CARDIO MACHINES

PARKOUR STATIONS

Safe • Secure • Well Lit

PARCOURSE STATIONS

Volume 21 Issue 15 December 1, 2014

For 20 years The Synthesis’ goal has remained to provide a forum for entertainment, music, humor, community awareness, opinions, and change.

Amy Sandoval amy@synthesis.net

Creative Director

Columns

This Week...

Publisher/Managing Editor

Found Footage Festival

PAGE 8

Tanner Ulsh graphics@synthesis.net

Letter From the Editor

by Amy Olson

Entertainment Editor

amy@synthesis.net

Arielle Mullen arielle@synthesis.net SynthesisWeekly.com/submit-yourevent/

PAGE 4

Productivity Wasted

Associate Editor

by Eli Schwartz

Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff emilianogs@gmail.com

pwasted@synthesis.net

Designers

Liz Watters, Mike Valdez graphics@synthesis.net

PAGE 5

Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA

Deliveries

by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff

Jennifer Foti

PAGE 7

Contributing Writers

Zooey Mae, Bob Howard, Howl, Koz McKev, Tommy Diestel, Eli Schwartz, Mona Treme, Emiliano GarciaSarnoff, Jon Williams, Sean Galloway Alex O’Brien

Immaculate Infection

by Bob Howard

Madbob@madbob.com

PAGE 16

Photography Jessica Sid Vincent Latham

December Art Report

Nerd

Dain Sandoval dain@synthesis.net

Accounting Ben Kirby

Director of Operations Karen Potter

PAGE 17

California Honeydrops

PAGE 18

Consider the Platypus

by Mona Treme

Owner

Bill Fishkin bill@synthesis.net The Synthesis is both owned and published

by Apartment 8 Productions. All things published in these pages are the property of Apartment 8 Productions and may not be reproduced, copied or used in any other way, shape or form without the written consent of Apartment 8 Productions. One copy (maybe two) of the Synthesis is available free to residents in Butte, Tehama and Shasta counties. Anyone caught removing papers will be prosecuted to the fullest extent of the law. All opinions expressed throughout the Synthesis are those of the author and are not necessarily the same opinions as Apartment 8 Productions and the Synthesis.

The Synthesis welcomes, wants, and will even desperately beg for letters because we care what you think. We can be reached via snail mail at the Synthesis, 210 W. 6th St., Chico, California, 95928. Email letters@ synthesis.net. Please sign all of your letters with your real name, address and preferably a phone number. We may also edit your submission for content and space.

210 West 6th Street Chico Ca 95928 530.899.7708 editorial@synthesis.net

PAGE 18

Grave Concerns

By Sean Galloway

PAGE 19

Supertime!

by Logan Kruidenier logankruidenier.tumblr.com

PAGE 20

Kozmik Debris

by Koz McKev

kozmckev@sunset.net

PAGE 21

From The Edge

by Anthony Peyton Porter

PAGE 22 FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 3

PET OF THE WEEK

Judgement Day Bonnie Hi! My name is Bonnie. I love meowing at people for attention!

Look how cute I am! I also love my brother Clyde and playing with toys. I am a super sweet kitten and I get along with just about everyone. I would rather not be in the shelter, I need a loving home to call my own!

2580 Fair Street Chico, CA 95928 (530) 343-7917 • buttehumane.org

Now Hear This SYNTHESIS WEEKLY PLAYLIST

The Cramps

Tanner The Cramps - “Muleskinner Blues” Liz First Aid Kit - “A Long Time Ago” Mike Greg Reitan - “Lament” Becca ScHoolboy Q - “Man of the Year” Al Wiz Kahlifa - “Ass Drop” Dinah Gred & Forge - “Brotherly Love” Andrea Aloe Blacc - “The Man” Alie The Lumineers - “Big Parade” 4

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 1 2014

The opening steps of taking off boots and putting my purse and laptop on the conveyor belt for x-rays are familiar; the herd mind activated, small steps in line, simple motions mimicking the people in front of me with a few seconds delay. I instinctively follow the bulk of the group as they turn left down the hall, trusting that they know where they’re going and are here for the same reason as I am—jury duty.

We exchange polite smiles as we walk down the hall; the brunette woman who had been directly behind me in line compliments my boots, and I thank her. She seems nice. New situations always carry a level of dread with them. Well… the buildup to new situations— knowing I’ll be in an unfamiliar place, and that there will be expectations I can’t anticipate— that fills me with dread. The small exchange of pleasantries is like an exhale. I feel the human reality eclipsing the anxious fantasy I had been weaving.

The first thing I notice in the waiting room, as people disperse to find seats with one or more buffer on either side, filling in gradually, is that we cluster automatically by gender. There are some exceptions, but for the most part each row is a line of women or men, and upon even closer inspection, there are trends of socio-economic status and age. We make snap decisions after a cursory glance, and place our trust in the familiar.

I don’t know what to expect of this day, or even what I really want from it. I know the timing couldn’t be worse for work: already a three day week to do what takes five, and at best I lose one of those three to this. I wonder what they’ll ask, what I’ll say, if they’ll care,

if I’ll be chosen, if the trial will be long, if the choices will be clear, if the call will be correct, if I can bear the weight of doling justice. I wonder if I’m truly capable of being unbiased, I who sat in a row of 30-year-old women in jeans with boots and sweaters. A part of me wants to be chosen, to test my ability to be thoughtful, experience this new thing, see if it’s anywhere near television and if I can play that walk on role without reading the script… and another part of me is twisted in knots at the burden it puts on my co workers to have my workload shoved on them. I feel guilty.

A video is being queued in the corner. Epic music, civic duty, state pride, people stoked to be jurors, the verdict, triumphant music, roll credits. It’s meant to inspire us, and despite my sarcastic nature, I feel it a little bit. Another blow to my sense of independent objectivity: I am emotionally malleable.

Waiting. It bothers me that the TV has been left on this whole time, the word “video” glowing in the corner. I play 2048 on my laptop, feeling sorry for the girl next to me who brought nothing and sits staring into space. We had made brief eye contact and laughed at the video earlier, I feel responsible for her now. I consider putting my things away, but think better of it; she made the choice to bring nothing, this is her consequence. Justice.

Maybe I am capable of this.

Letter From the Editor

by Amy Sandoval amy@synthesis.net

Far Cry 4 HIGH ALTITUDE HEART OF DARKNESS Far Cry 4 is the latest in Ubisoft’s first person exploratory shooter franchise. It was resurrected from 2008 sleeper Far Cry 2 into 2012’s heavily publicized and popularized Far Cry 3. The series maintains a familiar structure, similar to and likely based on Joseph Conrad’s Heart of Darkness. All follow the journey of someone from the first world moving suddenly to the darkest and most unstable parts of the world, where the right decision is stolen from the protagonist by unjustifiable conflict.

The Far Cry series is one strange fever dream.

2’s protagonist often collapsed in fits of malarial agony, 3’s was high out of his mind the entire time, and 4... well, Far Cry 4’s protagonist doesn’t have much to characterize him by. I find myself missing the obnoxious Jason Brody, the bro-ey SoCal Übermensch of Far Cry 3, at least in comparison to the flat plank of wood that is Ajay Ghale, American returning to his (fictional) native country of Kyrat in order to scatter his mother’s ashes.

Kyrat is a strange blend of India and Tibet, not unlike a sort of hazy (yet very believable) pastiche of Nepal and Assam, Himalayan nations influenced by both of the ancient empires. Kyrat is perhaps the greatest accomplishment of the entire game. The gameplay is not bad, but it’s repetitive and unimpressive. Shooting people with guns and bows alike has been done, and stealth is in this season. Ubisoft takes its usual approach of a smattering of mechanics thrown into the game, with a huge quantity of collectibles and side missions to gnaw on in order to distract us from the main plot.

Kyrat itself, however, is a gorgeous and very real feeling nation, where shrines dot

the land, and summits are marked with poles bearing prayer flags. Many of the side locations are useless, or only contain some small collectibles. But many of them are still fascinating or gorgeous little holes in the wall, reached by mountain climbing and caving.

The very best of the game is in those side missions that take advantage of place, like those that take you into the bloody arctic ops of the Himalayas, and the Thangka missions, which unashamedly incorporates the concept of Shangri-La into fascinating and beautiful missions within the mythical land.

Many games give me a gun and a red-colored soldier to shoot; but I can’t remember the last time I sicced a glowing white tiger on demons while I shot mystical arrows at a giant flying monster atop a waterfall of blood. The Shangri-La Thangkas ultimately immersed me more than anything else in the game, which could have been a plus, if they hadn’t been a short, disconnected questline.

The main campaign has interesting questions within it, but it strings the player along a boring civil war filled with bad decisions, and then answers them all at once, with very little closure, in an ending so open it can only be a matter of setting up postgame DLC, or a bad case of rushed writing. Far Cry 4 has many misses, but it is such a large and multifaceted game that, as per Ubisoft’s plan, some of the places where it hits are well worth investigating.

Productivity Wasted

by Eli Schwartz

pwasted@synthesis.net

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 5

On The Town 6

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM

PHOTOS BY JESSICA SID

DECEMBER 1 2014

Exotic Adventures in Smalltown, USA

by Emiliano Garcia-Sarnoff

White People Problems Gone is the era in this country where certain drinking fountains and swimming pools, etc, are exclusively demarcated for white people.

And yet there is one place in this country— indeed in this (supposedly progressive) city— that is—even in this day and age—pretty much exclusively for white people. And I’m not talking about the City Council.

I’m talking about Tanning Salons.

I’ve driven past Tanning Salons all my life. As a non-white person myself (see my picture above, where I pretty much look like a Mexican Eazy-E), I’ve gone past them without ever really taking notice; Tanning Salons are seen yet unseen; a secret club of a society that I’m not privy to.

What happens in these places? Is it like that “White Like Me” Eddie Murphy SNL sketch?

Are loans dispensed without credit checks or even identification? Does champagne flow like water?

At the California Sun on Mangrove, 20-yearold Kaitlin, blond, sweet and bubbly with a sequin-bedazzled shirt, explains the various lotions and “tan-extenders” to me. “This is our Juicy Desire,” she says, gesturing at a bright bottle of 18X bronzer on the shelf behind her. “It has pineapple, mango and kale in it, so it’s super super good for your skin! It’s packed full of antioxidants.” Kaitlin also shows me the Jwoww Bronzer, which she explains is “natural” and made with stuff like black walnut. Then Kaitlin points to a bottle of “Kardashian Glow.” “This stuff is amazing!”

She says. “It’s really cool, cuz there’s a coolant in it, so it’s gunna cool you down in the hotter

beds and it’s gunna leave you really cool and refreshed.”

The term “white people problems” is thrown around these days in very disparaging ways.

It’s used to refer to a class of difficulties that includes iPhone battery life, dry cleaning lawsuits, the sociology of airplane seat reclining, and the horrors of baristas who don’t know how much foam a double macchiato ought to have. But these aren’t technically really White People Problems, obviously. People of color have to deal with this shit, too.

But choosing between Jwoww, Kardashian Glow and Juicy Desire is an actual White Person Problem. And it’s one that, with my melanin, I’ll never have to face. In fact, having a blond girl named Kaitlin describe these products might be the most deeply white experience I’ve ever had. That tanning salons are essentially exclusively a white thing is why, last year, Republican Florida Congressman Ted Yoho suggested that the 10% tax on tanning booths included in the Affordable Care Act was a “racist tax” targeting white people.

I ask Kaitlin something I’ve been wondering about: Why is it that, with white dominance all around the world, with people in Asia using whitening lotions and Abuelas in Latin America remarking “Que blanca!” with joy when their grandchildren are born lighter than expected, do white people here want to get darker? Does darkness, which once signified manual labor and, thus, the lower classes, now signify, among certain caucasian subcultures, a life of superior leisure and fun?

Kaitlin considers the question for a beat or two. “I know when I feel tan it makes me have a lot of confidence,” she explains. “They say if you can’t lose it, tan it!’ It makes you feel skinnier.”

“So it’s like wearing black?” I ask. “Except it’s your skin?”

“Yeah, exactly,” Kaitlin says.

After this little philosophical exchange, the manager, Amanda, starts in with the hard sale.

I try to explain to her that I’m just doing this for “journalistic” purposes. “Look at my skin,” I tell her, pointing to one of my brown arms. “I really don’t want a month membership, trust me. I just want to try it one time.”

Amanda is not having it. “So you’re going to pay $15 for one three minute session, when you could pay the same for a month membership?” she asks, rhetorically, visibly perturbed; her arms crossed defiantly, her lips tightly pursed.

“Uh, but Kaitlin told me it was only $10 for one session,” I say. Amanda looks totally busted. She’s so dead set on getting me to sign up for a membership that she’s willing to dissemble. I call her out on it. She explains that I’m going to totally screw over her sales numbers if I opt for the one time session. “It counts as a missed opportunity,” she explains.

“You were an opportunity to sign up a new membership. And if you don’t, it counts as a missed opportunity.”

Amanda abandons the dissembling but doubles down on the guilt trip. “I think we helped you out,” she says. “So you can help

us out. I did just let you talk to my assistant manager for 10 minutes.”

Then she switches tactics again. Her voice softens to a purr. ”I mean you’ve got two cute blondes smiling at you,” Amanda says.

They stare me down; their ultra-white teeth juxtaposed against their tan skin; gleaming in wide, frozen smiles.

It’s working. The guilt, that is. “So I’m like ruining your life if I get a single session?” I ask, breaking down.

“You really are,” Amanda says.

I agree to pay for an entire month. That is until halfway through the application I realize it’s one of those ongoing memberships I’m going to have to call and cancel. “Screw this,” I think.

“I’m going to tan elsewhere.”

Over at the Electric Lounge, on Nord, super cool 17-year-old Chico High senior, Jacqueline Garcia—who can’t even legally tan—lets me tan for free. I opt for a standing booth. I feel like a non-buff Terminator about to time travel, getting into this thing naked. The lights are warm and loud fans swirl air around me.

It’s kinda nice I guess.

When I’m done, I ask Jacqueline the same question I asked Kaitlin about why white people want to be darker now while many people around the world want to be lighter.

“I guess that, wherever you go, everyone is trying to be something that they’re not,” she says.

Exactly, Jacqueline. Exaclty.

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 7

“John and Johnny”

TEN YEARS OF FOUND FOOTAGE

by Zooey Mae The Found Footage Festival is one of those shows that, after attending, you’ll undoubtedly try (and probably fail) to accurately describe to your friends. FFF was founded in New York in 2004 by Joe Pickett and Nick Prueher, but the true inception of this event came decades ago when Prueher, still in high school and working at McDonald’s, found a janitorial training video that was hilariously awful. Prueher shared the video with Pickett, thus beginning their love affair with bad VHS videos. In its current form, FFF is a guided tour with live commentary by Pickett and Prueher themselves. Featuring a perfectly curated selection of VHS tapes from cable access shows, training videos, or home movies, Pickett and Prueher lead the audience through a collection of these strange and wonderful videos.

FFF has been featured on Late Night With Jimmy Fallon, NPR, Jimmy 8

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 1 2014

Kimmel Live, and is returning to Chico for their ten year anniversary show. Slated to appear at Chico’s own Pageant Theater, you definitely don’t want to miss this one.

Recently, I was lucky enough to interview Nick Prueher about their upcoming show, the specific videos they’ve come across in northern California, and naturally, The Winnebago Man. I’ve read about how the FFF got started with the janitorial training video from McDonald’s, can you talk a little bit about how you joined forces with Joe and how the festival came to its current form?

Joe and I actually met in 6th grade, and we hit it off pretty quickly.

We both gravitated towards the same types of comedy. I remember bonding over this show called Small Wonder about a robot little girl and it was so terrible, we’d have viewing

parties for it. We both loved and hated that show at the same time.

And our classmates, they watched it and actually liked it, which was crazy to us.

We did not excel in school or really anything else, except we had a very advanced sense of irony, so I think that’s why we quickly started working on comedy projects together. So when I got to high school and got a job at McDonald’s, I found that video in the breakroom and Joe was the first person I thought to share it with.

The video was just collecting dust so I didn’t feel that bad about stealing it, and we just got obsessed with this tape. We started to deconstruct it, and probably put more thought into it than the people who made it. We analyzed it, we talked about what those people were doing now, we even made a short film based on it; it was an obsession. We got

“Totally Tulip”

friends together and had viewing parties of the McDonald’s video. It was so much fun that we thought that there must be more of this stuff out there. This was in 1991, and it was at that point that we started actually looking for this stuff. Not with any kind of grand plan, but more just to entertain ourselves and friends. So fifteen years later, we had hundreds of video tapes and we thought we could definitely make this work in a larger setting like a movie theater. We trace the genesis of the show back to that.

How do you find the different parts of the country compare as far as your video finds from each area? Is there a location that’s particularly fruitful for finding strange videos?

It varies, we find good stuff everywhere. We find a lot of hippiebased environmental videos in Northern California, we’ve definitely found our fair share of those in Chico. I think we gravitate towards the Midwest because where a lot of

our early collecting happened, just being from there. We have a lot of videos from Wisconsin, Minnesota, Illinois, and as it happens, those places have a lot of corporate headquarters, so we find a lot of training videos there. In Los Angeles and New York we find a lot of weird public access footage, because I think people there want attention. Our all-time favorite thrift store is in Anchorage, Alaska, a place called The Bishop’s Attic.

Alaska is probably the final frontier of wilderness, but also in terms of thrift store finds. We always plan an extra day and extra room in the suitcase for all the videos we find there. They don’t filter what goes onto the shelves, so we’ve found home movies there, and this sexual harassment awareness video by Blockbuster that they made their employees watch.

I’ve read that Winnebago Man (Jack Rebney) has been in contact with you, and even might have been a featured guest at one of your shows. That seems like a

pretty excellent repercussion to have had happen from all of this.

As part of the show we’ve tracked down certain people and tried to meet them, and get to the bottom of the videos they’re featured on.

He [Winnebago Man] was the Holy Grail. He was the one guy on all the videos who we really wanted to find out what happened with. We reached a dead end trying to find him, and we thought maybe he was dead from some anger-related issue, but it turns out no, he was living like a hermit in Northern California and had no idea this tape was out there.

When he found out that we were playing it across the country, he was pissed off about it. It shouldn’t have been a surprise, he’s known as the angriest man in the world, so we should’ve seen it coming. But we did manage to convince him to appear with us at a show in San Francisco several years ago. He was definitely a little prickly when we first met him, but this was the first time he’d watched the video with an audience.

And I don’t think he’d realized how much joy this video had brought to people. So he was in the back of the room and his arms were folded and he had this scowl on his face, but as soon as he saw people doubled over with laughter, he completely changed his tune.

We’ve described it as the Grinch Who Stole Christmas, because I think his heart grew three sizes that day. He loved the attention, and people were lined up to get his autograph after the show, and he told stories about that day during the shoot, and we actually hugged him at the end. So if that’s not a career highlight, I don’t know what is. I mean, the angriest man in the world gave us a hug! This is the ten year anniversary of the show, but that was definitely one of the highlights.

Have you ever tracked down other people from the videos?

When we were in college we found this video called Sell, Sell, Sell, and

it was a 30-minute excerpt from this home shopping channel called America’s Value Network. And the hosts of this show were two guys, John and Johnny, that were so hyperactive, like a level that’s never before been seen. I think their M.O. was to just be as obnoxious as possible so no one could change the channel. But it worked, we’ve been obsessed with that tape for twenty years now. We loved that tape, but all we had was that small thirty minutes of it, and we figured that they would have to have been on the air for more than that.

So we contacted people that used to work at that network, and they gave us some long lost John and Johnny footage. And in the process of researching all that, we actually found where John and Johnny are today. One was living in Seattle, the other was in Tampa. And we spent way too much money to fly the guy from Seattle to Tampa for a reunion.

They had not seen each other since 1987. So not only do we have the long lost footage, we have the (in FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 9

“Facercize”

a lot of ways), emotional reunion.

There’s not going to be a dry eye in the house.

I’m sure you probably get a lot of people sending you weird videos from either their own collections, or things they stumble across.

It happens all the time, and we love that. People will bring them to shows too, which is always great.

The coolest thing about the show for us is that when we started it was just the two of us with this weird little hobby. And now, people who are doing it are just coming out of the woodwork, and it seems like we’ve inspired people to keep an eye out for VHS tapes. So one of the cool side effects is that we have videos that we never would have had access to. I got a box in the mail today actually, a big Huggies box from someone in Portland, Oregon.

It looks like there’s some pretty 10

good ones in there, so we actually really encourage that. We have a video that someone sent us just recently that’s going to be in the show, and it has this creepy-looking guy with a beard on the cover, and it’s called Making Babies With Lewis Goldstein. The video is actually about how to make dolls, like baby dolls, but it’s still a really weird title.

Because VHS tapes aren’t really a widely used medium anymore, do you worry about the availability of these bizarre videos ever running out?

We definitely do. It’s always in the back of our minds that this is a nonrenewable resource, and sooner or later we will run out of videos, and then what? I just know that we have about two thousand videos that we have yet to even go through for this year, and so we know that it’s a ways away. But the good news is

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 1 2014

that occasionally we’ll find a DVD, so what we’ve realized is that while the technology changes the misguided ideas don’t. So as long as there are people out there who have a lot of ambition, but maybe not the most talent, there will be material out there for us to discover.

What kinds of new and strange videos can we look forward to at this year’s show?

Oh man, there’s so much good stuff. One of the highlights for me is How To Have Cybersex On The Internet. That’s the actual title, it’s a little redundant. We’ve found a lot of videos from this same company, I think their whole idea was quantity over quality, and to cash in on a trend. So we’ve found videos from them on random stuff like rollerblading, or pogs. It’s so weird, because they try to be sexy with it [How To Have Cybersex On

The Internet], but be informational about it too. So that one is so perplexing, it has all the weird ‘90s technology in it that you’d want but it’s so weird, it’s just a perfect combination. There’s the new John and Johnny footage, which is a real highlight, and a whole new collection of exercise videos, which are always some of our favorites.

This is also the first time we’ve done a sequel to a video. There was a public access show from New York called Petpourri, which is an advice call-in show hosted by a pet store owner. It was just chaos, because he had all the animals from the store, just hanging out. Even animals that didn’t get along together just hanging out on this countertop, and it’s absolute madness. We had all three years of the show, and for the 10 year anniversary, we dove back into the episodes and pulled out more footage. I think it may even be better than the original, it’s pretty

unbelievable. It’s just pure animal slapstick, animals fighting and falling off tables, flying into people’s hair. We’re really excited about it, and it’s always fun to come back to Chico too.

Don’t miss the 10 year anniversary show for the Found Footage Festival appearing at the Pageant Theater on December 8th at 7:30pm. Get your tickets now!

BANDS & MUSICIANS GET SPECIAL AD RATES editorial@synthesis.net

SUNDAY

49ERS VS RAIDERS | 1:25 PM

$3 WELL BLOODIES

$2 MIMOSA FLUTES $5 MIMOSA PINTS

Food & Drink MONDAY TUESDAY

FREE POOL AFTER 10PM

WATCH ALL THE

GAMES HERE

344 west 8th St | chico, ca | 530-343-2790

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY FRIDAY

Closed.

We need to drink, too!

Closed

Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm $3 Sierra & Domestic Pints 6PM - close $1 Off Pitchers $5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7pm PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Open Mic Comedy Night Every Other Week!

Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR & Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

$6.99 Pulled pork sand w/ fries or salad Wings 5 for $3 from halftime 'til they're gone!

MONSTER MONDAY SPECIALS 6PM-CLOSE BEER $3.50/4.50/5.50/6.50 FREE Pool after 10PM

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3

Closed

$2.50 TUESDAY: Tacos, Corn Dogs, French Fries or Tots, Chips & Salsa and Motzerells sticks only $2.50 ALL Day! Homemade Soup Daily $3 Sierra and Dom Pints $ 3.50 Kamis ALL DAY!

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Two Dollar Tuesdays! $2 PBRs $2 Tacos!

Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

Chicken Strip Sand only $6.99 before 6 PM TWO BUCK TUESDAY 6-11pm $2 Rolling Rock, Olympia & Single Wells $2.50 PBR, Coors and Double wells

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Menu cocktails $1 off. Sierra Nevada Draft $3 Live music 8-10

Closed

WING WEDNESDAY! $2 for 3 Wings 8pm-Close $2.50 Fire Eater Shots $5.50 DBL Bacardi Cocktails $5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7pm

Chicken Waffle Wed.!

8 ball Tourney 6pm sign-up Happy Hour 2-6pm M-F $1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Pool Rates Cut in 1/2!

Reuben Sand w/ fries or salad $6.99

Come see our beautiful Patio! Happy Hour 4-6: Wander Food Truck on the Patio 6pm

Closed

Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm $3 Sierra & Domestic Pints $3.50 Soccer moms $6 Dbl Roaring Vodka Homemade Soup Daily $5 Sailor Jerry DBLs All Day Every Day

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7pm PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Open Thanksgiving Evening

Baby Back Ribs $11.99 Philly Cheesesteak $7.99

Special Holiday Food & Drink Menu

6pm-Close $4.50 Grad teas $3.50 All beer pints FREE Pool after 10PM Coors Light Promo 6-8PM

Join us for Beers on our Patio Bar! Happy Hour from 4-6.

Open 9PM Bartender Specials $3 14oz. Slushies $4 20oz. Slushies

Mon-Fri Happy Hour 12-4pm $3 Sierra & Domestic Pints Weekend Blast Off!!

8-close $5 Blasters Homemade Soup Daily

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7PM

Rock Out at The DL! Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @11am All ages untill 10pm

10 oz. Tri-Tip Steak w/ Fries or Salad & Garlic Bread $8.99 8pm-Close $4 J채ger $5.50 DBL Vodka Red Bull $2.50 Kamikaze shots FREE Pool after 10PM

Open at 11am $4.50 Bloody Mary $5.50 Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys Noon - 6PM $8 / $9 SN Dom Pitchers $5.50 DBL Bacardi Cocktails

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7pm Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Rock Out at The DL! Enjoy Live Music, Great Grub, and 10 9' foot tables Open @11am All ages untill 10pm

Baby Back Ribs w/Salad, Fries & garlic bread $11.99 8pm-Close $4 Single/$6 Double Jack or Captain $3 Sierra Nevada Pints FREE Pool after 10pm

10am -2pm $5 Bottles of Champagne with entree $4.50 Bloody Mary $5.50 Absolut Peppar Bloody Marys OPEN FOR CHRISTMAS PREVIEW

Daily Happy Hour from 4-7pm PBR $2.25 Everyday!

Free Pool with Purchase!

1.00 off Sierra and Dom Pitchers $1.00 off PBR and Olympia Cans OPEN FOR CHRISTMAS PREVIEW

$5.49 Grad/Garden/ Turkey Burger w/fries or salad Bloodies $3 Well, $4 Call, $5 Top, $6 Goose Mimosas $2/flute, $5/pint $6 CHEAP Beer Pitchers FREE Pool after 10pm

Smirnoff Fruit Punch Sour Promo 10pm - close

EAT. DRINK. PLAY.

Find Out How you Can Play Pool

for Only $1/Day!

LESSONS, LEAGUES AND TOURNAMENTS!

GREAT FOOD! LIVE MUSIC!

We open at 12:00pm.

SATURDAY SUNDAY

Tacotruck.biz and Beers on the Patio!

Open 9pm Bartender Specials $3 14oz. Slushies $4 20oz. Slushies Patron Incendio Promo 10pm - close

WE OPEN AT 12:00PM MIMOSAS WITH FRESH SQUEEZED OJ FOR $5 UNTIL 5PM.

CLOSED

12

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 1 2014

OPEN FOR CHRISTMAS PREVIEW

HAPPY HOUR!

DANCE NIGHT DJ SPENNY & JEFF HOWSE PLEASE DRINK RESPONSIBLY

HAPPY HOUR 4-7PM Beer Week Guinness cocktail specials Beer coozie giveaway at back bar

8pm-Close Pitcher Specials $6.50/$9.50/$13 FREE Pool after 10PM

F r i d ay 4 - 7 p m

Wednesday 9pm

319 Main Street (530) 892-2473

Full Bar in Back Room Weds, Fri & Sat Nights!

PBR $2.25 Everyday!

THE PUB SCOUTS shirts 2 for $20 while supplies last

(530) 343-7718 337 Main St

Closed

Go DownLo

BEAR-E-OKE BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49.

11am-10pm.

Happy Hour 11-6pm select bottles & drafts $3

CLOSED

2 FOR 1 BURGERS ALL DAY !!

MINORS WELCOME!

CLOSED

CLOSED

LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM Closed

Go DownLo

BEAR WEAR! 1/2 off while wearing Bear Wear.

MUG CLUB 4-10PM

Go DownLo

Happy Hour 4 - 8pm Ladies Night!

8pm - CLOSE $5 Pabst pitchers $2 shot board $4 Moscow Mules $3 Jamo and Ginger Buck Hour 10:30 - 11:30

Early Bird Special 9-10PM 1/2 off wells

Happy Hour 4 - 8pm

Early Bird Special 9-10pm 1/2 off wells

FIREBALL FRIDAYS!!!

8pm - Close $3 Fireball Shots $4 Big Teas $3 Coronas

TRIKE RACES! Post time @ 10pm.

Win T-shirts and Bear Bucks.

MUG CLUB 4-10PM

$2.50 Select Sierra Nevada or Dom Drafts $2 Kamis -any flavor All Day

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm

Happy Hour 4 - 7pm

Progressive Night:

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!

8 - 10pm $1 Dom, Wells & Sierra Nevada Pale Ale 10pm - Close: Up $0.25 per hour til closing

All 16 oz Teas or AMF $3 All Day

$3.50 Skyyy Vodka Cocktails $3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm

1/2 OFF EVERYTHING!!!

4-6pm $1 Dom Drafts $2 SN Drafts & Wells $5 DBL Captain Buck Night 8-Close $1 wells, SN Pale Ale, Rolling Rock, Dom Draft $3 Black Butte $4 Vodka Redbull

Closed

Happy Hour 11-6pm $3 select bottles & drafts

9pm - Close $2 12oz Teas $3 20oz Teas $2 Well, Dom Bottles & bartender Specials $5 Vodka Red Bull

Happy Hour 4 -7pm

4-6pm $1 Dom Drafts $2 SN Drafts & Wells $5 DBL Captain 8pm - Close $4 151 Party punch 22oz.

8 - 9pm $1 Pale Ale & Dom.Draft Up $0.25/ hr until close

Closed

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm

Happy Hour- 4-7pm $5 Fridays 4-8pm Most food items and pitchers of beer are $5

Power Hour 8 - 9pm 1/2 Off Liquor & Drafts (excludes pitchers) 9PM - Close $3 Domestic Drafts $9.75 Pitchers $5 Dbl Sugar Island Rum NO COVER

Open at 9pm

Hot "Dawgs" ALL DAY!

Mon. - Sat. 4pm - 6pm $1 Dom. draft, $2 SN Draft and Wells Power Hour 8 - 9pm $3 Domestic Drafts $9.75 Pitchers Patron Incendio Promo 10pm NO COVER

BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available!

Call for reservation 898-9898

CLOSED

CLOSED

LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM

1/2 OFF COVER before 10PM

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49.

11am-10pm.

MUG CLUB from 4-10PM

LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM

$2.50 16oz Wells All Day

Select Pints $3

LIVE MUSIC 1/2 OFF COVER before 10PM

Opening at 8pm for 80's NIGHT!!

8 pm - CLOSE $4 Sauza Margaritas $3 Kamis $3 Shocktop & VIP pint

Early Bird Special 9-10pm 1/2 off wells

KARAOKE "INDUSTRY NIGHT" 8 PM - CLOSE HALF OFF ALMOST EVERYTHING!(Except Red Bull and Premium Liquors) Specials All Day!

OPEN FOR 36 CRAZYFISTS SHOW

Smirnoff Fruit Punch Sour Promo 10 - close

LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM

LIVE MUSIC 1/2 OFF COVER before 10pm

191 E. 2ND ST • 898-0630

NEW THIS WEEK...

BURGER MADNESS! Bear Burger with fries or salad for $5.49.

11am-10pm.

GAMES HERE! HOMEMADE SOUP DAILY

LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1 AM

WACKY WEDNESDAYS (8pm - close ) DJ Party 4 different DJ’s $1 wells $2 calls $2 domestic bottles $6 pitchers of well drinks

watch all the

$4 Sex On The Beach $4 Sierra Nevada Knightro ON TAP $1 Jello Shots 7-10pm $3 Fireball

$3.50 Tea of the Day Bartender Specials Happy Hour 4-8pm

$4 World Famous Bloody Joe $5 Premium bloodys your choice of vodka

Champagne Brunch 11am - 2pm $4 Champagne with entree

$1.50 sliders and other cheap eats!!

Patron Incendio Promo 10pm - close

Champagne Brunch and SPORTS!

Closed

vs.

SUNDAY DEC 7TH 1:25PM

$5 CHAMPAGNE BOTTLES WITH ENTREE

1 3 4 B r o a d w a y S t, C h i c o , C A | 5 3 0 . 8 9 3 . 5 2 5 3

BOTTLE SERVICE Now Available!

Call for reservation 898-9898 Large selection of wines, sangrias and Martinis.

Open at 9pm Large selection of wines, sangrias and Martinis.

LATE NIGHT EATS! kitchen open until 1am

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY

THURSDAY

NO COVER

$1 WELLS, DRAFTS, DOM. & SIERRA NEVADA 8-10PM PROGRESSIVE 10-2AM

$1 WELLS/ROLLING ROCK, PALE ALE & DOM.

CLOSED FOR THANKSGIVING DAY

UP 25¢ PER HR. UNTIL CLOSE

$4 VODKA REDBULL

FRIDAY & SATURDAY

$3 BUTTE PORTER

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 13

This Week Only...

Fine Dining in the Tradition of Southern Italy

SUBMIT YOUR EVENTS AT SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM/SUBMIT-YOUR-EVENT

BEST BETS IN ENTERTAINMENT

SICILIAN CAFÉ

Celebrating 30 years !

Farm.

Fresh.

Italian.

1020 Main Street Chico 530.345.2233 14

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 1 2014

Tuesday, December 2nd

Friday, December 5th

COSMONAUTS, THE SHE THINGS, THE CHROME (BEN TIETZ)

YULE LOGS/ TREE LIGHTING

DUFFY’S TAVERN

DUFFY’S TAVERN, CITY PLAZA

Saturday, December 6th

Sunday, December 7th

Kick off this holiday season in the right way: with stoner-psych rock, high-kicks and highballs, your favorite Duffy’s bartenders, all your buds, and babes. Featuring (from Burger Records) The Cosmonauts (Los Angeles), with local support by The Chrome, and Chico’s newest babe-rock band, The She Things (Kerra Jessen, Christina Leeann, & Chelsea Rose). Show starts at 9:30pm at Duffy’s Tavern and will set you back $5.

SHELBY COBRA & THE MUSTANGS, DOUG C & THE BLACKLISTED, RYAN DAVIDSON THE MALTESE

Absorb some whiskey-soaked tunes with Shelby Cobra & The Mustangs (ex-Chico resident, current Bay Area dirt country legend), Doug C & The Blacklisted (ex-Descendents, current western swing/rockabilly), and Chico favorite, Ryan Davidson.

Get here early and plant yourself by the bar with a clear view of the stage, because you won’t want to miss this! Show starts at 6pm, 21+

This week at...

On

CALIFORNIA HONEYDROPS W/ SPECIAL GUEST JELLY BREAD

DEC

05

Still lamenting last Sunday, during Christmas Preview, where you missed basking in the annual glow of The Yule Logs? Come to the City Plaza at 6pm for the Tree Lighting (free), then the Yule Logs at Duffy’s Tavern at 10pm! Tree Lighting event is at 6pm, free, all ages. The Duffy’s show will set you back $5, 21+

MIXED MEDIA MIXER 1078 GALLERY

Come celebrate with Uncle Dad’s Art Collective and Energy Plant Arts after another successful Energy Plant session video release. With live art creation by local embroidery artist Savannah May (Sleepy King), crochet artist Angela Kirchubel, wire worker De Andra Schmid, and live music from Sisterhoods, Bogg, Mitchel Davidovitz, Michael Bone and Get Foxy, we guarantee you won’t find a better FREE event this Sunday! 2pm, all ages, free

KLOZD SIRKUT: TRUMPETER FOR KARL D’S TINY UNIVERSE DEC

06

Upcoming shows...

SHOOK TWINS

Main DOORS OPEN AT 9PM | HALF OFF DRINKS BEFORE 10PM

DEC

11

New & Exciting:

Ongoing Events

1 Monday

1 Monday

Cafe Coda: First Mondays Jazz, 7-8:30pm, $10

2 Tuesday

Duffy’s: Cosmonauts, She Things, The Chrome. 9:30pm, 21+, $5 Tackle Box: Karaoke, 9pm-1am, 21+

4 Thursday

1078 Art Gallery: Cold Blue Mountain, Blight, Touch Fuzzy Get Dizzy, 8pm, all ages, $5 Blue Room: A Christmas Carol, 7:30pm, all ages LaSalles: Happy Hour with Brad Relf, 4-8pm, 21+, free Laxson Auditorium: Chico Community Ballet: Nutcracker. 7:30pm, all ages, $10-$29 Performing Arts Center, Room 134: SOTA Presents: Kevin Lyman, founder of the Mayhem Festival and Warped Tour.

5pm-6:15pm, all ages, free Senator Theatre: Bass Jackers w/ Dyro, doors at 8pm, show 9pm, $22.50/advance Skyway House Treatment Services: “Desert Runners” Film Screening. 6:30pm9:30pm Women’s Club: Acoustic Evening with Jackie Greene, 7:30pm, all ages, $50

5 Friday

1078 Art Gallery: Reckoning, Hannah Jane Kile, 7:30pm, all ages, $5-$10 Blue Room: A Christmas Carol, 7:30pm, all ages BMU: Wrap & Roll sushi rolling workshop for Chico State Students, 6pm City Plaza: Tree Lighting, performances

by Children’s Choir of Chico and Sounds of the Valley Chorus. 6pm, all ages, free Duffy’s: The Yule Logs, 10pm, 21+, $5 LaSalles: Happy Hour with Pat Hull, 4-8pm, 21+, free, followed by Mystic Roots at 10pm Laxson Auditorium: Chico Community Ballet: Nutcracker. 7:30pm, all ages, $10-$29 Lost On Main: California Honeydrops w/ special guests Jelly Bread. 9pm, 21+ Patrick Ranch Museum: Holiday Fine Art and Gift Sale, 4pm-8pm, 18+, free Stansbury Home: Victorian Christmas, Santa, Horse-drawn carriage rides, entertainment, hot cider and cookies.

6pm-9pm, advance tickets are $5/adults, $1 kids, door prices go up $1 Tackle Box: Live music w/ All Fired Up, 9pm, 21+

6 Saturday

1078 Art Gallery: Wanderers and Wolves

EP Release Show, Trox and the Terribles, Furlough Fridays, Major Powers and the Low Fi Symphony. free EP with admission.

7:30-11pm, all ages, $5 Basement of Frustration (374 E 9th St): Mr. Bang & The Whatevs, Crude Studs, Lips of Renegade, 6pm, all ages, $5 Blue Room: A Christmas Carol, 7:30pm, all ages CARD Community Center: Breakfast with Santa, 8am-11am, $10 Chico Theater Company: Opening night of White Christmas, 7:30pm, all ages El Rey Theatre: An Evening With Chris Robinson Brotherhood, doors at 8pm, show 9pm, $27-$32 LaSalles: Happy Hour with Noche Oskura, 4-8pm, 21+, free Laxson Auditorium: Chico Community Ballet: Nutcracker. 7:30pm, all ages, $10-$29 Lost On Main: Klozd Sirkut, 9pm-2am, 21+ Maltese: 6pm Early Show: Shelby Cobra & the Mustangs, Doug C and The Blacklisted, Ryan Davidson, followed by Caravan of Glam and the Malteazers.

Nantucket Home: Butte Humane Society Hosts Pet Photos with Santa. 11am-3pm, all ages GSEC Center: LGBTQ Conference, 1pm5pm, free Patrick Ranch Museum: holiday Fine Art and Gift Sale, 10am-5pm, 18+, free Stansbury Home: Victorian Christmas, Santa, Horse-drawn carriage rides, entertainment, hot cider and cookies.

6pm-9pm, advance tickets are $5/adults, $1 kids, door prices go up $1 Tackle Box: Live Music w/ Josh Budro, 9pm, 21+

7 Sunday

1078 Art Gallery: Mixed Media Mixer featuring Sisterhoods, Bogg, Mitchel Davidovitz, Michael bone, and Get Foxy from 2pm-5pm (free), then at 7:30pm Zodiac Death Valley, The Icarus Line, Zig Zags, Get Foxy. All ages, $5-$10 Blue Room: A Christmas Carol, 2pm, all ages Chico Theater Company: White Christmas, 2pm, all ages Laxson Auditorium: Chico Community Ballet: Nutcracker. 2pm, all ages, $10-$29 Stansbury Home: Victorian Christmas, Santa, Horse-drawn carriage rides, entertainment, hot cider and cookies.

6pm-9pm, advance tickets are $5/adults, $1 kids, door prices go up $1

100th Monkey: Healing Light Meditation, 7pm-8:15pm The Bear: Bear-E-oke! 9pm Chico Womens Club: Prenatal Yoga. 5:30-6:30pm DownLo: Open Mic Comedy Night. Free.

Maltese: Open Mic Comedy, Signups at 8pm, starts at 9pm.

Mug Night 7-11:30pm The Tackle Box: Latin Dance Classes. Free, 7-9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Yoga Center Of Chico: Sound Healing w. Emiliano (no relation). Breathwork, Meditation, Healing.

2 Tuesday

100th Monkey: Fusion Belly Dance mixed-level class, with BellySutra. $8/class or $32/ month. 6pm The Bear: Open Jam Night, featuring a different live band opening each week. Bring instruments, 9pm-1:30am Chico Women’s Club: Yoga.

9-10am. Afro Carribean Dance. $10/class or $35/mo. 5:50-7pm.

Crazy Horse Saloon: All Request Karaoke. 21+ DownLo: Game night. All ages until 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: Salsa Lessons, 7-10pm LaSalles: ’90s night. 21+ Panama Bar: Tropical Tuesdays ft. Mack Morris & DJ2K. 10pm Studio Inn Lounge: Karaoke.

8:30pm-1am The Tackle Box: Karaoke, 9pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Trivia Challenge.

Call at 4pm to reserve a table.

Starts 6:30pm

3 Wednesday

The Bear: Trike Races. Post time 10pm Chico Women’s Club: Afro Brazilian Dance. 5:30-7pm DownLo: Wednesday night jazz.

8 Ball Tournament, signups 6pm, starts 7pm Duffys: Dance Night! DJ Spenny,

Lois, and Jeff Howse. $1, 9pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm The Maltese: Friends With Vinyl!

Bring your vinyl and share up to 3 songs/12 minutes on the turntable. 9pm-1am The Tackle Box: Line Dance classes. Free, 5:30-7:30pm.

Swing Dance classes. Free, 7:309:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Trivia Night plus Happy Hour. call at 4pm to reserve a table. Starts at 8pm

4 Thursday

The Beach: Live DJ, no cover, 9pm DownLo: Live Jazz. 8-11pm. All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Has Beans Downtown: Open Mic Night. 7-10pm. Signups start at 6pm Holiday Inn Bar: Karaoke.

8pm-midnight LaSalles: Free live music on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Karaoke. 9pm-close Panama Bar: Buck night and DJ Eclectic & guests on the patio.

9pm Pleasant Valley Rec Center: CARD World Dance Classes.

6-7pm/youth 10-17, 7-8:30pm/ adults. $20/4classes Quackers: Karaoke night with Andy. 9pm-1am Tackle Box: Karaoke. 9pm-1am, 21+ University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm Woodstocks: Open Mic Night Yoga Center Of Chico: Ecstatic Dance with Clay Olson. 7:309:30pm

5 Friday

The Beach: Live DJ, 9pm Cafe Coda: Friday Morning Jazz with Bogg, happy hour. 10am2pm Chico Creek Dance Center: Chico international folk dance club. 7:30pm, $2 DownLo: ½ off pool. All ages

until 10pm. Live Music, 8pm Duffys: Pub Scouts - Happy Hour. 4-7pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dance Party. 8pm-midnight LaSalles: Open Mic night on the patio. 6-9pm Maltese: Happy hour with live jazz by Bogg. 5-7pm. LGBTQ+ Dance Party. 9pm Panama Bar: Jigga Julee, DJ Mah on the patio. 9pm Peeking: BassMint. Weekly electronic dance party. $1-$5.

9:30pm Quackers: Live DJ. 9pm Sultan’s Bistro: Bellydance Performance. 6:30-7:30pm University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

6 Saturday

The Beach: Live DJ, 9pm DownLo: 9 Ball tournament.

Signups at noon, starts at 1pm.

All ages until 10pm The Graduate: Free Pool after 10pm Holiday Inn Bar: DJ Dancing.

70s and 80s music. The Molly Gunn’s Revival! 8pm-midnight LaSalles: 80’s Night. 8pm-close Panama Bar: DJ Eclectic on the patio. 9pm Tackle Box: Karaoke.

8:30pm-midnight, 21+ University Bar: Free Pool 6-8pm

7 Sunday

Dorothy Johnson Center: Soul Shake Dance Church. Free-style dance wave, $8-$15 sliding scale.

10am-12:30pm DownLo: Free Pool, 1 hour with every $8 purchase. All ages until 10pm LaSalles: Karaoke. 9pm Maltese: Live Jazz 4-7pm. Trivia 8pm Followed by: Smashed Spelling Bee. 9pm.Trivia 8pm Tackle Box: Karaoke, 8pm

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 15

Wine, Thrifting, and Failing to Attain Zen WORKING THE THINGS I CANNOT CHANGE INTO MY SPIRITUAL JOURNEY, AN UNLIKELY THRIFT STORE HAUL, AND CONCOCTING A POORMAN’S SPEEDBALL Ohhhmmm... Ohhhmmmm... I’m trying to incorporate the steady drone of the neighbor’s leaf blower into my late-morning meditation.

Talk about trying to fight the ocean. We live in an oak forest, and we live in the country—let the leaves lie. They break down and benefit the soil, replenishing the nutrients that are drawn away by whatever annuals are growing beneath. Pointless; in fact the ceremonial blowing of leaves is a bad practice in regards to soil management. The engine generated winds blow away all the humus and the real hacks blow away the fertile topsoil as well, leaving the ground hard-packed, dense, and deprived of nutrients. Oh well, I suppose it’s his piece of ground and he can do what he wants with it. In regards to my spiritual state of mind, the mild hangover I’m weathering isn’t helping me enter into the euphoria of nothingness anyway.

cat sculptures—one ceramic and one a wax candle with a nibbled ear, two female mannequin torsos—to go with the eight sets of mannequin legs and the one full mannequin we’ve collected thus far, a glass juicer, a stylish painting of flowers, a small box with a bird on it, a complete set of oil paints and about a dozen brand-new canvases ranging from 8”x10” up to about 3 feet square. The oil paints and canvases felt serendipitous.

I’ve been interested in getting to understand oils and bought a cheap set of oil paints and a palette at Michael’s the other day, as well as some turpentine and linseed oil at the hardware store. Everything at art supply stores is expensive so I get a lot of my stuff from the hardware store instead. I use the cheapest white paint I can buy for “gesso.”

I read an interview once with the reclusive author Carlos Castaneda in which he spoke about meditating to the traffic noise emanating from the sprawling and busy freeway system in the city of Los Angeles, where he was living at the time. I read Castaneda’s first several books ravenously when I was in college and seeking. I was mystified by the other world he presented, the one lying beyond an invisible curtain, populated by spiritual beings and lines of energy; a world that we can only understand when we learn to “see” properly.

I’ve got three gallons of coffee flavored melomel brewing. A melomel is flavored mead—mead being a honey-based style of wine. I made the coffee melomel because the plum wines keep putting Trish and I to sleep.

I’ve also got a few gallons of pomegranate wine racked into their secondary air-locked carboys.

Thrift Store Score

On The Town 16

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 1 2014

Trish and I dropped $60 at one of the local thrift stores—a lot of dough! But we came away with a haul: a solid pair of mud boots, two small pieces of airline luggage, two

Coffee and Wine

The leaf blower is going again and all this talk of wine is making me thirsty. I try never to drink before noon, and the clock on my computer here reads 12:23. See you next week.

Immaculate Infection

by Bob Howard

Madbob@madbob.com

December Art Report

BY MICHELE FRENCH CAPTAINJACKAFTON@HOTMAIL.COM Reed Applegate has been busy this fall, curating a show to commemorate the centenary of John Ayres, and arranging a show at the 1078 Gallery to celebrate other collectors.

The show of works by the late John Ayres is at the University Gallery in Trinity Hall, an exhibit that spans his years as a productive artist from the 1930s to the 1960s. Ayres founded the art department at Chico State and was its chair from 1946 to 1967. In the main gallery there’s an impressive group of watercolors inspired by historic buildings Ayers saw while on a sabbatical in the mid ‘60s. The structures depicted pulsate with an energy barely contained by delicate, but sharply etched lines. I was most drawn to “Bramall Hall,” which was done in 1968. Located in Cheshire, Bramall Hall is considered one of the finest examples of Medieval architecture in England.

Ayres chose to present only the oldest part, which dates from the 14th century and has an elaborate geometric façade. This show will be in place until December 18 and is located on the Chico State campus next to Meriam Library.

The other show curated by Reed is at the 1078 Gallery, which contains art work from the collections of Shari and David Hopper, Pat and Richard Macias, Gwen Curatilo, Dorna Anderson, Idie Adams, Alan Carrier, and Reed’s own collection.

Probably because they’re somewhat shocking images, two works struck me particularly: One is from the collection of the Macias, Charles Lindner’s “Untitled, 2002,” two stark white shot-gunned metal panels. The force of the blasts scored the metal randomly and

shaped it to some degree so that it has an air of calm after violence. Another work that fascinates among the 35 others is “Chubby Bunny” by Abby Murray, from the collection of Idie Adams and Alan Carrier. A sculpture, about five feet tall on its pedestal, carved from styrofoam and tinted bubble gum pink.

It has no face below its floppy ears, but it does have a little pearl necklace and a rose-colored apron. It reminds me of anime and of those kitschy items you can get at the House of Rice, but then again, it might be a bit of domestic irony. This show will be on the walls until November 29. The 1078 Gallery is located at 820 Broadway, and is open from Thursday through Saturday from 12:30pm to 5:30pm.

The aforementioned David and Shari Hopper have also curated an exhibit at the Turner Print Museum titled Together/Divided: A Couple Curates which will be in place until December 13. David is a much admired glass artist. As notes to the show state, the Hoppers met at San Jose State in 1968 and have been together ever since. There are 30 prints in this show with an emphasis on abstract compositions, but there are also a number of examples of realism, including one print

by Janet Turner. One print I admired was an embossed serigraph with the title “Go-A” by Japanese printmaker Haku Maki who lived from 1924 to 2000. The black and white Go pieces pop from the surface of the print in a pleasing minimalist pattern. The Turner Print Museum is located on the ground floor of Meriam Library and is open Monday through Saturday from 11am to 4pm.

PHOTOS BY VINCE LATHAM FACEBOOK.COM/VANGUARD.PHOTOGRAPHY

On The Town

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 17

California Honeydrops Lost On Main Friday, December 5th

BY JOEY HANEY

PSA: Socially Transmitted Craft Matter Many years ago, my ex came home after a long night of working at the lumber mill. When he was tired it usually manifested as grumpiness, and he was always tired after a graveyard shift. This time, however, there was also a bit of repressed laughter. After cutting amused eyes at me for half an hour, I finally asked “What?”

“Remember that thing you made a couple Christmases ago? With the purple glitter?”

“Yeah… it was a present for Tania. Why?” “I had some on me. Didn’t know it was there until Tom saw it. Now all the guys think I have a lifestyle I’m not admitting to.”

The takeaway that morning was that purple glitter and flannel are decidedly NOT a fabulous pairing. It was also when I—and the ex—first discovered firsthand exactly why glitter has a reputation for being “the herpes of craft supplies,” to quote Demetri Martin. Have you ever encountered a random hair from a long-departed animal, or found Christmas tree needles in the carpet in August? Glitter’s worse. Way worse.

The reason I mention all this is because we’re slap in the middle of the holiday season— which means an uptick in shopping, parties… and glitter. More things are blinged out than they used to be; seasonal ornaments and decorations, by a factor of like five or so. Not that I’m complaining—it tickles the hell out of my not-so-inner magpie. But that’s just me putting a positive face on my fate. I’ve been infected for a long time now, so it’s too late 18

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 1 2014

for me. Don’t let it happen to you, especially if glittery stuff isn’t your thing!

Increased awareness is your friend. The shit’s everywhere, and it can very easily end up everywhere else. All it takes is a touch or a hug or brushing up against something to get it on you, and it’s light enough to be borne by drafts, too. The ultra-fine-grade stuff, which is what many decorations (and craft geeks like me) utilize, is the worst for transmittal and hiding out on your person.

The California Honeydrops sound fantastic.

Every member of the Oakland five-piece plays remarkably smoothly; every song seems effortlessly slick and fun. The frontman, Lech Wierzynski, is the most pleasant of all.

Wierzynski’s voice is hook, line, and sinker. If anything will pull you into the Honeydrops’ soul-tinged party music, it’s his pristine vocal stylings.

If socially-transmitted craft matter, also known as unanticipated holiday sparkle residue (or UHSR) is starting to sound like a seasonal illness, maybe it should be taken as such. Look around you—it’s gotten to epidemic proportions! The worst part is, like in the story above, you might not know you’ve personally been affected by glitter until it’s just… too… late. They’re like shiny little ninjas, waiting to strike when you think you’ve dealt with them. Cleanliness won’t help you— remember the dog fur and pine needles!

The Honeydrops’ origin story begins with Wierzynski discovering illegal recordings of American soul singers during his childhood in Communist Poland. Thankfully for us, he made his way to the United States, honing his musical skills throughout adolescence and college. The story continues with Wierzynski and drummer Ben Malament performing as a pair of buskers in Oakland BART stations.

They’ve since picked up a keyboardist, bassist, and a sax/clarinet player.

Granted, these days a stray colorful scintillation from one’s shirt lapel doesn’t raise eyebrows quite as high—hell, it might even earn you a few phone numbers—but in the wrong time or place, it could be an unmitigated disaster. Go ahead, go do your holiday thing, but don’t say I didn’t warn you.

UHSR is real, and nobody is safe!

Consider the Platypus

by Mona Treme

The Honeydrops are hard to succinctly summarize. They describe themselves as being influenced by “Bay Area R&B, funk, Southern soul, Delta blues, and New Orleans second-line.” All the Southern blues, Motown funk, and old R&B influences come through, shellacked in an easy Northern California vibe.

To see what I mean, search Youtube for the Honeydrops’ cover of “Don’t Let the Green Grass Fool You,” then compare it to Wilson Pickett’s original. Pickett’s rough edges are sanded down and replaced with Bay Area good feelings.

Good feelings are what the Honeydrops are selling. Their music is relentlessly upbeat and danceable. Even their seemingly sadder songs (such as the gospel-influenced “Cry For Me”) are clap-along celebrations of optimism that climax in hip-swinging instrumental breakdowns. The tempo does occasionally slow down (for a taste, listen to “Singing Waterfall”), but downbeat songs are rare in the Honeydrops oeuvre (they are called the Honeydrops, after all).

A note to those of you looking to do some Internet research on the band: check out their live recordings. The studio albums showcase Wierzynski’s captivating voice, but leave out the infectious energy the band brings to their live performances. It’s obvious that the Honeydrops prefer the stage to the studio. So, while their albums are available on Spotify, I recommend dipping into the Honeydrops’ YouTube channel for a more enticing sample of what to expect.

Should you go see the California Honeydrops at Lost on Main on December 5? If you’ve ever donated time or money to KZFR, you’ll probably like the Honeydrops. If you want to support some professional, talented musicians who are completely in control of their sound, you should check them out. If you’re looking for some feel-good funk and R&B without the jam-band influence that pervades so much of the Chico scene, then the Honeydrops are most definitely for you.

You Can Have My Natalie Merchant Tapes When You Pry Them From My Warm, Loving Hands There are a few necessary items.

1.

2.

3.

4.

5.

6.

7.

8.

Three to four sheets or light blankets Clothespins Three to four mic stands with attached booms (booms are the kind of microphone stands that bends in the middle, for those unfamiliar with Specialized Mic Stand Lingo) One bottle, Jameson Irish Whiskey A record player Vinyl copies of the following records: Emma Ruth Rundle’s Some Heavy Ocean, Stars of the Lid’s The Ballasted Orchestra, and two copies of Huey Lewis & the News’ Sports 35 U.S. Dollars A copy of Natalie Merchant’s Tigerlily on tape

Let’s get started.

Pour yourself a stiff four fingers of the whiskey, to bolster your spirit. You are about to build a fort, motherfucker—the only surety against the frigid pangs of despair that come sweeping across the Northern Valley every goddamn lonesome winter, isolating and intimidating even the most optimistic of souls.

Put on the Emma Ruth Rundle record, and begin erecting the skeleton of the structure, while Emma’s brooding reverb washes over you. The mic stands should lean inward, arching over the main body of the fort, ensuring that they will inevitably tip over and smother you with the blankets in the

middle of the night. Next, attach the blankets to the mic stands, and any other elevated objects you can pinch a clothespin to, with the aforementioned clothespins. Use a LOT of clothespins. Your fort will still eventually collapse and devour you, but the more clothespins you use, the better your chances of making it through the night. By the time “Arms I Know So Well” plays, you should have your fort erected. If not, maybe take a break to nip a bit more whiskey. Once your fort seems relatively stable, crawl inside with the bottle of Jameson. Finish off the ERR record.

It’s time to Reflect on Your Entire Life.

Give the Stars of the Lid record a spin. Lay on your back inside the confines of your fort and stare into the middle distance for the next 45 minutes, while the needle evinces the opiate tones of SotL’s ambient masterpiece. The Jameson will come into play here, too. When “Music for Twin Peaks, Episode #30 Part I” comes on, accidentally spill some whiskey on yourself. The cold will shake you out of your stupor.

Get out of the fort NOW. Put on the first Huey Lewis record. Turn it UP LOUD. The Heart of Rock & Roll is Still Beating, my man. Shake your shit around. Kick part of the fort down. You’re a grown-ass adult.

Why do you have a fort?? Dance around your living room with the bottle of Jameson in your hand, sloshing around on all of your earthly possessions. Let the News record play all the

way through. Now put on the next Huey Lewis album, which is also Sports, because it’s a fucking great record, and its going to get you through this god-awful rainy desolate hell.

Wreck more of the fort. Grab the 35 bucks. Call a cab.

You’re going to Duffy’s Dance Night.

I’m not much of a dancer, but you are. You’re a Diamond Firecracker Exploding in the Heart of the Sun. Dance like everyone is watching, and most likely making fun of your avantgarde dance innovations. These people are Philistines. Don’t let them dissuade what you’re feeling in your heart. They’ll join you, if they know what’s what. Give them time. Give them an entire Jukebox’s amount of time. Get loose as hell.

Get the hell out of Duffy’s.

Go home.

You’ve done enough.

Your fort, bruised as it may be from your earlier abuse, will welcome you into itself with open arms. Lay on the floor under your Empire Strikes Back blanket and listen to the Natalie Merchant tape, while you drift into oblivion. You’re going to make it through this winter. Natalie knows it, and I know it. Maybe take the fort down before you have guests over, though. Ah. F ‘em. Leave it up.

Grave Concerns

By Sean Galloway

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 19

SUPERCLEAN Pros High Performance Detail Cleaners Residential and Commercial Cleaning Services!

• Apartment

• Business

• Home

• Warehouse

• Office

• and more!

Cost Effective, Customer Friendly Cleaning Service Fees FREE estimates with walk- through site inspection (530)774-1175 http://supercleanpros.webs.com

“We clean to YOUR specifications!”

LIFE IN CHICO Do you like Life in Chico? So do we! -“Like” Life in Chico, CA facebook.com/ChicoCA

GREAT SHORT STORIES Lotus Land, written by local writer William Wong Foey Local writer William Wong Foey author of best selling novel: Winter Melon releases his new book Lotus Land, a short story collection of bold and amazing stories of desire, despair, courage, and redemption. Available at Lyon’s Book Store at 135 Main (Chico) and in paperback & e-book at Amazon, Barnes & Noble, iTunes, & Direct Music Cafe.

A special thanks to all the people who purchased my debut novel: Winter Melon.

ADVERTISMENT 20

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 1 2014

by logan kruidenier logankruidenier.tumblr.com

December 1, 2014 – By Koz McKev Aries

Taurus

Gemini

Cancer

Leo

Virgo

The first two days of the week feature an Aries moon. Combine this with a Sagittarius sun, Uranus in Aries, and Jupiter in Leo, and you can expect big things to happen. We kickstart our week with enthusiasm. Mars and Pluto in your midheaven give you strength in times of change. Spend Wednesday and Thursday working on your basic needs. The weekend looks good for short trips, and reuniting with old friends, siblings, and cousins. Continue to pursue your highest aspirations. Take risks and be generous. The force is with you.

Give up on trying to control anything this week. You have two solid days with the moon in Taurus on Wednesday and Thursday. Your ability to make progress is enhanced. Allow other people to help you when necessary. Investigate the occult. Learn to be a better lover.

May your knowledge of death encourage you to live each day to its fullest. Mars moves into your midheaven Thursday afternoon. You begin to see your own leadership potential in a new light. The weekend looks good for making financial gains.

You are on the opposite end of what is going on right now.

Partnership demands that you be in a place where you could look directly at your lover. That’s how it is when the opposite sign rules your seventh house of marriage, negotiations, and partnerships. The moon will be in Gemini early Friday morning through early Sunday morning.

The moon peaks full in Gemini at 4:27am PST Saturday morning. This is the kind of weekend where people show their dark twin. You are capable of much more light when you unite with others.

Bury your nose in a charitable cause. Find out that too much work is the way of the world.

Wash your hands more often as the cold and flu season is here. You may have some extra responsibilities toward the beginning of the week.

Wednesday and Thursday are your best opportunities for socializing. You may find yourself longing to control a situation that is uncontrollable.

The full moon Saturday morning highlights personal karma and the places where you might feel isolated. Help others who may be even more isolated.

Reality is overrated while fun can’t help but be enticing.

Reality is fun in certain circumstances. You’ve faced enough challenges that you’re now ready for things to lighten up a bit and to let the good times roll. Creative projects get a new breath of air. This is a great time for having fun with children.

Allow playful moods to dominate. Mars moves into your seventh house on Thursday, making it more likely for you to want to dominate relationships.

Open enemies are more likely to call you out. The full moon weekend highlights parties and social gatherings.

How you feel about things is taking center stage in your life.

Your memory and your intuition are more active than usual. Your concerns go from family and parents to your own personal tribe. This could be a good time for house hunting. Wednesday and Thursday are your luckiest days this week. View everything in the context of its history. The full moon weekend will highlight your talents and skills. You may find yourself in the public eye a little more often. Be willing to be more of an emotional support to those you’re close to.

Libra

Scorpio

Sagittarius

Capricorn

Aquarius

Pisces

Tune in to your local environment. Find poetry in all that you do. Be ready to change location at the drop of a hat. Your communication skills are very good during this period. Venus transiting your third house brings more of a need to do art and to work with your hands. The first part of this week deals with relationships. The full moon on Saturday emphasizes travel, higher education, foreign language, exotic cultures and a higher philosophy on which to live by. The weekend looks good for travel and for looking at things from a different perspective.

Move forward with your highest values. You buy more power with your purchases than you do with voting. What you eat will affect your body. This is a good time of year for you when it comes to making money. Mars moves into your fourth house this week. Issues around your parents, your residence, and your tribe come to you. Things that don’t honor the earth will not stand. Wednesday and Thursday are best for negotiations, love affairs and getting contracts. The full moon weekend inspires transformation. Let go of what you can’t control.

Being the flavor of the month isn’t easy. You seize the day with your outlandish style and humorous quirks. You are the sign most likely to have an opinion. Monday and Tuesday look great for creative activities. On Wednesday and Thursday it’s best to be charitable and help others. The weekend’s full moon will add spice to your romantic life. You may even be able to close in on a big deal. This time around you become aware of what makes the perfect fit in a relationship. See how other people’s needs are attached to your needs.

Wanting and needing are two different things. Part of you has been energized and present.

Another part of you has had their head in the clouds. New steps feel better when there is no unfinished business. Make good karma by paying debts and by helping people who are isolated. Your energy shifts toward the world of finances and personal security. Wednesday and Thursday are your best days for creative work as well as for coming from the heart. The full moon highlights health, service jobs and working with others.

Will the fun and good times never end? They will, but not this week, not yet. There is still reason to celebrate in sight. Take care of communication issues early in the week. Be aware of family and domestic needs on Wednesday and Thursday. Mars will enter your first house giving you strength and willpower. The weekend looks like it will be full of fun and creative play. The full moon will be in your fifth house bringing a sense of playfulness and opportunities for more creative expression. Good friends are around to support you.

I’m leaving you in charge of pretty much everything this week. People tend to be a little less responsible during Sagittarius time. I’m expecting you to do the exact opposite. Monday and Tuesday are good for financial recovery.

On Wednesday and Thursday you’ll catch up on the neighborhood gossip. The full moon weekend may make you homesick, or have you thinking about your parents. Issues involving your domestic situation and your feelings are likely to come up. Have compassion for yourself and realize that you are not responsible for the world’s problems.

Koz McKev is on YouTube, on cable 11 BCTV and is heard on 90.1FM KZFR Chico. Also available by appointment for personal horoscopes call (530)891-5147 or e-mail kozmickev@sunset.net

FACEBOOK.COM/SYNTHESISCHICO 21

THANKS This year I’m especially thankful for the autumn colors. Back in Chicago when I was learning to make photographs, I made an annual trip out to a particular wooded area because the trees there were reliably spectacular. Now, I can be as awed by a particular leaf as by a forest, and a November gingko can make me laugh out loud.

I have plenty of friends, and by plenty I don’t mean many so much as enough for me—not very many at all. You handful of stalwarts make all the difference for me.

I’m thankful for the birds in the flyway— American Coots, Snow Geese, Turkey Vultures, Black-crowned Night Herons, Greater Whitefronted Geese, House Sparrows, Ross’ Geese, Canada Geese, Herring Gulls, American Widgeons, Gadwalls, Eurasian Widgeons, Mallards, Blue-winged Teals, Buffleheads, Northern Shovelers, Cinnamon Teals, Ruddy Ducks, Red-tailed Hawks, Sandhill Cranes, Ring-billed Gulls, Snowy Egrets, Red-winged Blackbirds, Sandpipers, Bald Eagles, Redheads, and Northern Pintails. I really like the way they’re just themselves, unlike many of us.

I’m grateful for rain, especially here and now.

I’m hardly ever aware that the water I drink is practically as old as Earth. That whatever water there is on Earth is all there’s ever gonna be—be it polluted, pure, or inaccessible— seems harsh and fair, and whenever it rains, I’m glad.

I’m grateful for my car, which runs well at eighteen. I think it knows that it’s only a big repair away from a junkyard, because gas and insurance are all I can afford. Meanwhile, I try to keep it clean and talk nice to it. So far, so good. Say hello if you see it.

I’m grateful for my family and friends. You may be one, but probably not. If you aren’t a friend of mine—Facebook doesn’t count—don’t sweat it. You’re likely not missing much, and

I’m grateful for my stuff generally and my bike specifically. I think I have a lot of stuff, although I know I’m a piker next to some.

Lately, when I think about my stuff it’s generally been with an eye to getting rid of it, which is still a goal. Now I try to pay attention to the stuff I most enjoy and appreciate whatever pleasure it provides me. Sometimes it doesn’t, and out it goes. My laptop is my main thing and takes precedence over my car. A carless life is easier to imagine than a computerless life, although I could do without both. Yes, I could too.

I love my books. I’ve gotten rid of stacks of books, and, though I stringently restrict the influx of new books, I still have stacks on shelves and the floor of books I have yet to read. Something makes me want to read what I have before I bring any more in the house, maybe my mother, now that I think of it. I don’t keep a count, but I have fewer books than I did, say, five years and more than I had last summer. I fluctuate.

I’m thankful for Hobbes, our cat. He’s friendly and good-natured and a constant model of how to just be. Hobbes eats and plays and pokes around into things, and still he’s mostly just being, lying there in the sun.

I’m mostly grateful for being able to write this, and thank you for reading it. A lot of things have to go just right for this to happen, and I know that a missed connection between any number of nerve endings could render me null and void right now and I wouldn’t even get to save the file.

From The Edge

by Anthony Peyton Porter A@anthonypeytonporter.com

22

SYNTHESISWEEKLY.COM DECEMBER 1 2014