Unshakable Girl Magazine MAY 2015 by Unshakable Girls

May/June/July/August 2015

|girl MAGAZINE

BRIDAL PREPARATION What it means to be wed to the King of Kings

Art

That Captures the Heart of God

HIGHWAYS TO ZION

What Size

Is Your

Heart?

Mourning Turned to

Dancing!

A Note from Tai

Hi everyone! Happy Spring to you all (even if it doesn’t quite look like it yet for some of you -- it’s coming soon)! I’ve been keeping quite busy the past few months as, on top of working on the e-Mags, I felt God leading me to take the plunge into setting up a website for you girls( www.unshakablegirl.com), to provide a safe place where you can ask your questions about how to live an unshakable life, as well as interacting with other girls like you, who also want to leave the emptiness of the world behind. I hope that it will also be another source of ongoing encouragement to you in your walk with the Lord! You can access the magazines there, as well as the forums, blog, and much more! I’ve also felt God directing me to set up a page (as well as a continuing section of the magazine) for “Broken Girls” -- those of you who have been hurt and broken by sin and its effects, and who feel like you can hardly even dream of being “unshakable” because you are so wounded inside and so full of guilt, fears, and pain. But I wanted those of you who are broken to know that you CAN be healed, and that God offers you the same joy, and purity, and closeness with Him that He offers to everyone! It IS within your grasp! So make sure you check out the new website, and start interacting! And keep your eyes open for the new things we’re doing with the e-Mags as well! God bless you all!

Tai Sophia

A screenshot of our NEW website: www.unshakablegirl.com

Since 2014

Unshakable Love: Bridal Preparation!

How to prepare yourself to be wed to the King of Kings!

Unshakable Passion:

Art That Captures the Heart of God!

What kind of art delights the heart of God, and reflects His character?

Unshakable Delight: Highways to Zion

Do you frequently make the journey to meet with the King?

Unshakable Thinking: What Size is Your Heart?

It’s not your body type that defines who you are - it’s your heart.

Broken Girls: Mourning Turned to Dancing!

An intimate tesimony of God’s restoration from brokenness to life and JOY! 3

Bridal Preparation For The K ing of K ings

“Let us rejoice and be glad and give the glory to Him, for the marriage of the Lamb has come and His bride has made herself ready.” It was given to her to clothe herself in fine linen, bright and clean; for the fine linen is the righteous acts of the saints. [Rev. 19:7, 8] All over Facebook, Pinterest, Instagram, magazines --even helpful little old ladies-rings out the advice of what every bride (or anyone who wants to be married) should do before the awaited day. Eat well. Exercise to drop those pounds you have recently noticed. Do-It-Yourself to save money. Don’t choose to Do-It-Yourself--let everyone else do it. Make sure you have monogrammed napkins. What side will your boutonniere go on? Will you wear shoes? Who doesn’t wear shoes?! Have you thought about your children’s college fund? Does he have any brothers for your “spinster” sister? And on they roll. For every bride, the details never end -- while for the single girls, those are the magical details which are endlessly day-dreamed about. But even now, (yes for you who are single too) another Groom eagerly awaits His Father’s word to come and receive you--His Bride. Jesus Christ Himself is your Beloved Groom. Just as a man anticipates the day when he can finally receive you as his wife, Jesus is waiting for the day when He may finally take you into His Kingdom. The day you committed your life to the Lord, you entered into an engagement. You do belong to Christ. Did you know that although He has given His desire on certain things for your outward appearance--He has also allowed us to know what the character, heart and mind of His Love --His beloved Bride-should be. So what does this Bride actually look like? Let’s take care of the “outside” first in one simple point:

1) She is Modest Don’t skip this one, even if you have heard this “a million times”! It is the truth. “Or do you not know that your body is a temple of the Holy Spirit within you, whom you have from God? You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body,” and in what you wear (1 Corinthians 6:19-20 ). I am going to shoot straight with you --modesty is important. It is not merely a length of skirt or a certain way to do your hair, but a heart attitude. It is an overflow of what is going on inside your heart. To be “modest” merely means that you do not draw unnecessary attention to yourself. In other words, shirts, skirts, tank tops, shorts, skinny jeans, bohemian pants, leggings, jeggings, (the list scrolls) are to not distract people by mere physical appearances. When we are not walking close with the Lord, the more prone we are to wanting people to see us (and approve of us) not HIM. However, the closer we walk with the Lord, the more we do not want anything we do or wear to distract people from Him! I don’t know about you, but I want people to be redirected to God by what I do, not distracted by what I wear and applaud my physical form. What It Looks Like: First off, ask the Lord to grant you the humility to dress in a way that honors Him. Imagine Jesus looking at you and saying “Oh! Look at my daughter! Isn’t she lovely? Not only does she value my thoughts on her outward apparel, but even more her

heart is for me!” Pretty sweet, huh? :) Secondly, take a moment to think about what your wardrobe looks like. Is there anything right off the top of your head that would be distracting to the person behind you in church (really short “skater” dresses, shirts that show a little bit of your stomach)? When you bend over, do your pants ride low or shirt neckline show unnecessary skin? Camisoles easily fix neckline issues, plus a splash of color looks great underneath that cute shirt. There are also some really neat Skirt Extenders (a slip with shabby chic lace) that are AWESOME and actually make wearing those cute little dresses possible, but also are not distracting. Remember, if you are dressing with a certain person in mind, make sure the person you have in mind is the person you have committed to--to Jesus. [If you need more advice or even some suggestions about how to piece together a great, but also God-honoring wardrobe, join the forums on our new website to ask the Unshakable Girl staff and other girls just like you!]

is it unattractive! What would you think if you saw a girl walking beside her fiance, but double taking at every shirtless ad, every attractive guy, snickering over innapropriate inuendos, sighing wistfully over steamy fiction novels? You would think that maybe her heart was not actually won or that she actually did not give her whole heart to her groom. “Husbands, love your wives, even as Christ also loved the church, and gave himself for it; That he might sanctify and cleanse it with the washing of water by the word, That he might present it to himself a glorious church, not having spot, or wrinkle, or any such thing; but that it should be holy and without blemish” (Eph. 5:2527). Purity is not only a physical form, but also a willing decision to not have a mind consumed with lust (girls, this is an issue for us, too), dirty jokes or even really intimate scenes in books.

What It Looks Like: Jesus knows our past. He knows what we have done, or what has happened to us. Did you know that despite 2 ) She is Willfully Pure the fact that you may not be “physically” What on earth does THAT mean? The word pure in the world’s eyes, the Lord can make “pure” you’ve heard--possibly quite frequent- you pure again? When we ask Him, He bely-- but...willfully? It is simple. Despite what gins to craft into us a thirst for the innocent has happened to you in your past, physically things--the simple, sweet things. But we or emotionally, you want to be different. You have to be ready to let go of the things we want to be pure. Purity is not overrated, nor secretly (or not so secretly) like. We can only

let go by the strength of the Holy Spirit, and by spending time with the One who is completely without spot or blemish--Jesus Christ. It is crucial. We have to make time for the Lord, girls. It’s not a pretty option or a good “staged picture” for Instagram. If we want to see God, we have to be pure in heart (Matthew 5).

3) She is Lacking in Arrogance Also known as humble. I have been to a lot of weddings. By “been to” I mean in, throwing showers for, baking cakes for, cleaning up after, directing, pointing, assisting, decorating, bride prepping-you name it. In doing so, I have seen a variety of attitudes as brides get dressed in their waiting room. I have seen “I’m attractive, so of course he wants to marry me” brides, as well as the sweetest brides which glow from exquisite joy because they cannot believe the man God is allowing them to marry. They truly are still astonished at the great blessing that God has bestowed upon them--a man that loves the Lord with his entire heart. May I just state that it is the brides which do not think much (“I’m attractive, obviously” attitude) of themselves which cause me to be continually praising the name of the Lord?

The Bride of Christ is engaged to the most humble man to ever walk the earth. Remember, “although (Jesus) existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped” and allowed Himself to live a life of great servanthood, laboring, but also demonstrating what LOVE is. If Jesus set the example of humility, would it not also be logical to assume that it is a desired trait within His beloved Bride? “Put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive” (Col 3:12). What it Looks Like: By spending time with the One who is actually worthy of honor and “bragging on”, we begin to understand the truth of who we are. We are created beings--we are under the mercy, grace, protection and hand of an incredible God. When we spend time with the Lord, our lenses get cleaned on our outlook of life. We do not deserve the precious gift of a relationship with the Lord, nor the mindblowing blessing of promised hope and life after we finish our time on earth. Humility comes when we spend time with Jesus.

4) She is a Servant There are a lot of beliefs and attitudes floating around in this generation. One, I am noting, is the “no woman should ever be a ‘servant’ to anyone--especially a man” attitude. “I don’t owe anything to anyone,” is right there behind it. I have been considering these points of views. May I gently venture to say that these are not godly attitudes, my dear friends? I am also aware that the root of these opinions can grow from having been truly hurt by the men in one’s life. For that, may I actually apologize for the hurt you have received? I pray that you will allow the balm of Gilead to soothe and comfort the scars you have, as well as fully restore the Joy of serving HIM. Let me continue by first telling you what servant-hood (in the context of what I am referring to) is NOT. It is NOT a ball and chain, being at the beck and call of everyone. Servant-hood, in the context of a Christian’s life, is a JOY.

Again, going into a relationship (even a friendship) with the attitude of deserving is wrong. Hear me out. Jesus HIMSELF “did not come to be served, but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Matthew 20:28). Jesus served men AND women--day and night. He healed a woman who had been bleeding for 12 years (Luke 8), women who were sick (Matthew 8, Luke 8), and the list scrolls. He is the only person who could actually say “Why isn’t everyone doing things for me?” Serving is NOT what the world would call slavery. It is merely letting go of pride and actually wanting to do things for others in order to show the love of Christ. What It Looks Like: It is as simple as scrubbing down bathtubs for an overwhelmed mom, making time to pray on the spot for a person in need, or even just putting off things you want to do in order to be a blessing to someone else. If we try to do things

to make people happy or just because we are free, eventually we will run out of joy and eagerness to serve. To have a heart that matches your Groom--a true servant’s heart-it has to be done for the Lord. “Lord, I may not always enjoy this task, but today I am doing this to honor You, and so that others might know Your love.” Then, dear sisters, that is when serving becomes a JOY.

4) She is His True Friend One of the sweetest privileges about being in a relationship is that you are able to form a friendship--not just a romantic relationship. Someone to talk with, laugh with, and just enjoy being together. Did you actually know that you can sit in the Lord’s presence without speaking and just enjoy being with Him? Jesus wants to be our friend. Did you know He loves to laugh? Did you know that He can tell you, Himself, all about the things He has made? Did you know that He knows the depths of your soul? He made you. But, like any good relationship, it takes effort and care. When He comes back to receive you, don’t you want to know Him so well that you are both laughing with elation at just finally seeing each other?! What It Looks Like: What does a relationship look like here on earth? Spend TIME with Jesus. I cannot emphasize or italicize that enough. Learn to hear His voice. Learn about the things He has made. Stand up for Him when others put Him down. Talk to others about Him--Your Groom. Read His Book, inspired by the Holy Spirit, which is still living and active. It is your weapon against the enemy who would love nothing better than to separate you from the One who loves you so much, friend. Cherish, protect, and honor Jesus. Put the Lord’s desires above your own. “It may not be easy, but it is simple”.

That is what Jesus is looking for in His Bride. She may not be perfect, but she is spotless because of what the Lord has done for her and what she let Him do for her. She is humble, radiant with joy, eager to serve others, intentionally ignorant about dirty jokes, and she clothes herself with dignity and grace-all because she loves the One who has chosen her above all others. Today, whether you are making plans to prepare for marriage or you are still waiting on the Lord, remember that there is a Groom who is eagerly waiting to receive you. Spend time with Him, get to know Him. Delight in Him. He is the One who calms your anxious heart, who hears every thought and desire, who fights your battles for you, and who wants to use you for His glorious name.

“In many-colored robes she is led to the king, with her virgin companions following behind her. With joy and gladness they are led along as they enter the palace of the king. “ [Psalm 45:14-15]

Article by: Anna Faith

An Unshakable Girl Staff Writer

Art That Captures the Heart of God!

By Tai Sophia

here are some who seem to be particularly gifted with the ability to mull over numbers and facts for hours on end. There are those who are gifted to be teachers, nurses, and secretaries -- those who keep the world going ‘round. And then...there are some, like myself, who are captured by beauty and remain simply unable to look away. Beauty tugs at our heart strings and causes us to forget the realities of this world and the things that are needed to make it run, as “Beauty tugs we find ourselves lost in the pursuit of capturing it. Some of us use paintbrushat our heart es, and some - pencil, charcoal, ink. Some delight in using the modern technology within our cameras to capture beauty...and some are content to sit with only strings....and we their imagination as the limit of what they can capture.

find ourselves lost I’ve always liked to think of this pursuit as being especially close to the in the pursuit of heart of God, the Artist Who paints every sunset in the sky, and captures every capturing it.”

sparkle on the water just so. God has put into us a little of His own Being...and that, I believe, is where we get our love of creating beauty! However, the devil never rests at his job of corrupting every good gift from God...and in this current society I see it more starkly displayed then perhaps has ever been seen on earth before. Skulls are entwined with flowers and bows on every hoodie in the mall. Sculptures in every park look like chunks of metal that fell off a spaceship and got embedded into the ground. Paintings consist of random splatters and drips...or people who are garishly disproportionate...or inappropri-

ate. And so many dark, depressing works of “art” that just make your skin crawl - many of which include hellish faces leering at you as you walk by. That’s what happens when God isn’t welcome. All true creativity, sweetness, and beauty is lost. Without instruction from the Master Designer, we can only create empty forms of beautiful things...and they will be lacking all of the vibrancy and life that made them worthy of capturing in the first place! And every “art gathering” is simply an expo of New Age, magic, death, pride, lust, and all KINDS of terrible things. NOT exactly what our hearts are longing for. So, how can we make the best use of our art? How can our art most glorify the Creator of art -- the King of the Universe? How can our art stand out like a beacon of light in the midst of the dark, dank “art cave” of this world? How can we truly capture God’s heart in our art?

1.) Capture innocence. The sparkle in a child’s eyes. The frisking of a puppy. The gentleness of the world cloaked in snowy wonder. The delicate curve of a flower’s soft petals. These things are all full of an innocence that the world overlooks, and has forgotten how to appreciate. The world needs bold colors, elements that grate against each-other in an irritating way, and disturbing images to capture our mediadeadened minds, so that we’ll take notice. But God’s ways take us back to child-like innocence and purity...and the ability to take delight in the gentle and sweet things that

He has created; these are the sort of things that come from His heart! Everything He does blends perfectly, and He always highlights just the right parts to cause our eyes to marvel at the beauty. He does not create anything ugly, or perverse, or even irritating to our eyes and our sense of proportion and beauty. If you are going to make art, imitate our good God in this: capture innocence.

2.) Capture light, virtue, and beauty. God is light, and in Him is no darkness at all [1 John 1:5]. The moody, depressing paintings of the world ooze with darkness and despair. They exalt perverseness and immorality, and the twisting of beauty into something that echoes the chaos of their hearts. This is not art to be praised! This is simply a window into the hearts of men without God, no matter how fine the brush-strokes, or how perfect the hues. These “artists” are to be pitied, and prayed for...but not emulated! No! Do not desire to be like these, however popular or praised they may be. To capture God’s heart, and draw hearts to Him through our art, it must be bursting with light, celebrating virtue, and full of the delight of true beauty - which can be found in all the things that God has created. In order to truly capture God’s

heart in these things, though, we must actually have a close friendship with Him ourselves, first and foremost. In order to see what He sees, and capture things in just the right way that brings glory to Him and causes people’s hearts to rejoice, we must truly KNOW Him, and be close to His heart. Anyone who does not know God, cannot capture things through His eyes, and cannot see the beauty that only His children can see. And, one tip I have been coming to understand about what sets a good painting or drawing or photo apart from the rest is always significantly about the lighting in the picture. So, I recommend, if you want to be able to capture the beauty you see, or the sweet things in your imagination -- study light. Study the way it dances through the trees, and sparkles on the ripples in the river, and gives depth to scenes that would otherwise be flat and boring. Note how it causes a face to glow, and how it gives petals an inner radiance. 3.) Capture truth. While drawing fantasy worlds may

be fun, or relaxing, it is most likely never going to save a soul. Focus, instead, on what is true. And...what is truth? God is truth. Salvation is truth. Repentance and forgiveness are truth. Fighting to hold onto salvation is truth. Our heavenly reward is truth. Though this kind of art may not be for everyone, I have found some of the most compelling art I have ever seen to be that which captures the spiritual truths that give us a heavenly window into spiritual realities that we can’t always see, but know to be true. I think an excellent example of this is Ron DiCianni. His paintings are all beautiful depictions of a Christian’s life, and glimpses into heaven. I think perhaps my favorite is one he calls, “Safely Home”, which depicts a Christian martyr just arriving in the presence of the Lord, finally free of his chains, and held in His Savior’s comforting embrace, as an angel waits to give him his new and shining white robes. So much emotion is captured in this one scene, and it is one that causes your own heart to long to be faithful unto death -- to “Hold fast what you have, so that no one may seize your crown”. [Revelation 3:11]. 4.) Capture Heaven. Jesus dwells in Heaven. It is a very real world, full of light and beauty and free from the effects of sin and death. If you can give people a glimpse into heaven with your art, not only will their hearts be compelled to rejoice, but

there will be an inner longing that is awakened in their hearts that may very well lead them to the Savior Himself. I can’t necessarily dictate to you all that this means for your art, and it very much ties in with my previous points...but if you prayerfully make this your goal in all that you do, you will find your art take on a new depth and life.

to your art, and don’t hold too fast to your own notions of what you want to do with your “gift”. There are so many thousands and millions of desperately hurting, lost, and dying people in this world who need Jesus, that if there is any potential that God could use you in the harvest, there really can’t be any time wasted on seeking after art for art’s sake. One painting, one drawing can take days and weeks to complete. And there just isn’t any way to justify the loss of that 5.) Selfless art. “Jesus is re- much time. Jesus is returning soon, and Perhaps the highest call every moment we spend in seeking our turning soon, for art is, in fact, using it to bless own interests is a moment that we aren’t and every moothers. You may think that it’s not reaching out and rescuing another soul worth it to spend days or weeks on ment we spend for eternity. We can try to justify our art a painting just to give it away to in seeking our as a “tool” for the gospel, and as long as it one person. But the act of giving truly is, I think God will bless it. But how own interests something so full of care and effort much of it is simply seeking our own idea is a moment away for the eyes of the receiver of what we want to do, and what we find alone is an act of the greatest that we AREN’T delightful and “fun”? Honestly, there is humility and selflessness. Not reaching out just no time to waste on art that doesn’t expecting any praise or acclaim directly call people to seek the Lord. God and rescuing or gain, but just giving to make has really made this clear to my heart. I another soul for someone smile. I have personally had thought that I might like to go to art found that I prefer this kind of art school as I was considering after-higheternity.” over every other; just seeking the school options...and even after I decided Lord for His ideas for a picture for someone, against college, I still held onto art as someoften with a verse to go with it, that will rething that I desired to excel in and be known ally minister to their hearts in exactly the ways for. But then, God did something special. He that HE knows they need. When I seek God for called me to serve Him full-time instead, both His thoughts and ideas, and His help to draw/ in directly sharing Him with people all across paint/take pictures that are sweet and full of North America, and in simply making the best His love, I am never disappointed at the way He use of my time, and making sure that everyuses it to speak to the hearts of the receivers in thing I use my time for is with the goal of exa special way -- and that is the greatest reward! panding the Kingdom of God. He has asked me to lay aside my desires to build my life on art, and instead, to desire to seek and save the lost. 6.) Surrendered art. It is interesting, because sometimes He will give Here I come to a most difficult point, me something to do that involves art...whether but in it is found the greatest reward! If you illustrating a book, or doing photography for think there is any chance for God to use your someone, or making a drawing or painting to life to reach other with the gospel; if you want bless someone with...and instead of it being me to serve God, and see lives changed...don’t look seeking my own pleasure or acclaim, it is just a

Rosalind’s own words, part of my obedience to Him and His call on “The autumn of 1882 found us again my life, and is filled with almost the same joy settled in Toronto, when I at once entered as leading a soul to Him directly. Sacrificing our art for the sake of seeing lost souls come to salvation is a sacrifice that is well-pleasing to God, and He will cause it to be like fertilizer for the seeds that are planted in people’s lives to spring up and flourish! One encouraging example of this area of surrender, one that encouraged me to release my grip on “my art”, is Rosalind Goforth, who, with her husband Jonathan, was a missionary to China starting in the late 1800’s. God granted them the answer of their prayer of reaching 10,000 souls with the gospel. Rosalind was a talented young artist from a well-todo, prominent family in England. Her days from youngest childhood were largely spent beside her artist father’s easel, who strongly desired that she would be an artist, and saw in her a natural talent. At age 12, after hearing a preacher speak at a revival meeting, Rosalind gave her heart to the Lord. She said, “From that time, and increasingly as the years passed, there seemed to be two elements contesting with- Painting by Rosalind’s brother, Fred, shows the talent that ran in me, one for art, the other — in her family...and the reality of what she gave up for Jesus. an intense longing to serve the the Art School. The period of three years Master to whom I had given myself.” Rosathat followed was a period of great unrest in lind did, in fact, end up graduating from the my life. While I loved my art, for it was born Toronto School of Art, and was preparing to in me, yet there was always the inner, secret leave for London to complete her studies in longing for definite Christian service. I came art abroad when God changed her course. In

to pray daily that a door might be opened for such.

Words fail me to describe what that hymn meant to me through those days of agony. The words, fresh in mind, came with Mother and my eldest brother, Fred, out effort. While at times the whole six verses had given Father their solemn promise that would come as soothing balm, it was the I would be sent to England for training in message of the first two lines of the last verse the Kensington School of Art. In view of this that brought to me the irresistible call to serpromise, Mother’s later action may be better vice. The words, and more sympathetically understood. I would thy boundless love proclaim With every fleeting breath Little did I dream as seemed burned into my soul. I we entered the year 1885 came out of that valley of suffering how completely the course “I came out of determined to pray myself loose of my life, as then planned, that valley of suf- from the things that were forcing was to change before the fering determined me to follow other than the path of year ran out. Graduation Christian service. to pray myself from the art school was to come in May, when a loose from the It was then I began to pray that coveted gold medal was to if the Lord wanted me to live the things that were be presented by the Govforcing me to fol- married life, he would lead to me ernor General of Canada. one wholly given up to Him and to low other than the His service. I wanted no other. One pupil, Miss X, and myself were so far ahead path of Christian of the others in the class, it Graduation time came, and service.” was a foregone conclusion while I was able to attend, I, of that one of us would get course, failed to win the gold medthe medal. There is little doubt had I won it al, which was awarded to Miss X. I would have been so elated the artist career would certainly have followed. But GOD Preparations had begun for my going planned otherwise. to England, for I had told no one, not even my mother, of my spiritual struggles and secret Early in February, I was taken ill with hopes, believing it was better to leave the inflammatory rheumatism. This was the Lord to work out all in His own way. Then, in third serious attack. For days my life hung in a truly marvelous way, He brought into my the balance. I was only half conscious and life just what I had asked for, a man wholly unable to move or be moved. Every joint yielded to GOD and His service.” in my body seemed on fire. Some weeks before, I had memorized the hymn, the first That, of course, being Mr. Jonathan verse of which is: Goforth. And Rosalind tells the remarkable How sweet the name of JESUS sounds story in his biography and a few other of her In a believer’s ear; written works. It soothes his sorrows, heals his wounds, And drives away his fears. “On looking back upon that time, the greatest wonder seems to be the rapidity

with which events took place: the meeting with Mr. O’Brien at St. Peter’s; a few days later his invitation to the workers’ meeting of the Toronto Mission Union; the introduction of ‘Jonathan Goforth, our city missionary’; and a few days later the never-to-be-forgotten incident of examining the worn Bible. At that meeting, though the first I had attended, my name was included in the committee appointed to find a place and open a branch mission in the east end slums. Mr. Henry O’Brien was chairman, while Jonathan Goforth was also included on the committee. Thus we were coworkers from the beginning. The two years given to work in the East End slums, was of the greatest possible value in gaining experience which gave me a realization of my own personal responsibility towards my unsaved sisters. Of course, by this time, art had practically dropped out of my life, and in its place had come a deep desire to be a worthy life-partner of one so wholly yielded to his Divine Master, as I knew Jonathan Goforth to be. To my great surprise, Mother’s reaction to this slum work was most sympathetic. For weeks all went well. Then one day, as if uneasy, she expressed a wish for Mr. Goforth to come for supper Sunday evening. He came and Mother liked him; but that evening when I returned from the mission, Mother looked straight at me in a strange way and said, ‘Rosie, was the moon out tonight?’ Everyone in the room had his eyes on me, and my embarrassment was more than I could bear, for I had to acknowledge, as I fled, that I did not know! (Jonathan Goforth had accompanied me home.) The next morning, Mother came to me and said sternly, ‘This slum work is to cease at once. You are to get ready and leave for England without delay!’ I replied quietly, but firmly, ‘Mother, it is too late; I promised Jonathan Goforth last night to be his wife and to go to China!’ Poor Mother! She almost fainted! It is not necessary to give the details of the week that followed. Suffice it to say, Mother gave me the choice of obeying Father’s dying wish or leaving home. For six weeks, I stayed with a brother in a distant city. Then came a letter from my sister pleading with me to return, as Mother was sobbing day and night and seemed failing fast. On reaching home, I was shocked at the change in Mother. She would not speak to me and seemed broken-hearted. My distress was now very great. Could it be GOD’s will for me to break my Mother’s heart? At last, one day, as I listened to her pacing her bedroom floor, weeping, I could stand the strain no longer and determined to find out GOD’s will so plainly I could make no mistake. Going down to the parlor, where the large family Bible rested on a small davenport or desk, I stood for a moment crying to the Lord for some word of light. Then I opened the Bible at random, and the first words my eyes lit on were: “Ye have not chosen me, but I have chosen you, and ordained you, that ye should go and bring forth fruit” (John 15:16). I knew at once GOD was speaking His will to me through these words, and in an instant the crushing burden was gone. Running to Mother’s room, I begged her to hear what I had to

say. Unwillingly, she unlocked the door and stood while I told her of my prayer and answer. For a moment only she hesitated, then with a cry I could never forget, she threw her arms about me, saying, ‘O my child, I can fight against you, but I dare not fight against GOD.’ From that moment till her death eighteen months later, Mother’s heart was entirely with me in the life I had chosen.” So, as you can see from this example, it may be a difficult thing to surrender your art to the Lord - and there may even be those who can’t understand why you would set aside such “talent”. But I know that Jesus has said, “If anyone would come after me, let him deny himself and take up his cross and follow me. For whoever would save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake and the gospel’s will save it. For what does it profit a man to gain the whole world and forfeit his soul? For what can a man give in return for his soul?” (Mark 8:3437 ESV) And I hold fast to this hope and assurance -- that anything I give up in this life will be my greatest gain in the life to come. So whether in taking up your art as a tool to spread the love of Christ, or laying it down as a sweet offering before the throne of God, do it all for the glory of God. And may I also give a fair warning to those of you who are considering going to college for art? Be very careful and prayer-full. You might actually do better to pray and study under God’s guidance - with Him as your teacher, than to shell out tens of thousands of dollars to go to a school where they can’t actually help you. Many of the art programs are so yucky, and with many teachers so full of the darkness of the world, that you couldn’t actually learn to make beautiful art there. They cannot teach what they do not know. Additionally, most art programs today are full of immense wickedness, and sin is celebrated and encouraged! It is a sad reality, but you don’t have to be discouraged, because God is the best teacher in these things that you could ever have! Seek Him, and you will not be disappointed!

Highways to

Zion

By Tai Sophia

“Blessed are those whose strength is in You, in whose heart are the highways to Zion. As they go through the Valley of Baca [lit. “Weeping”] they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools. They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.” (Psalm 84:5-7 ESV)

od pointed this passage out to me not too long ago, and showed me some neat things about it, that I wanted to share with you. These are very encouraging promises, showing us what blessings and assurance we can find as we diligently frequent His throne room.

“Blessed are those whose strength is in You, in whose heart are the highways to Zion.” As I meditated on this verse, I had to push aside my unappealing mental pictures of noisy cars and Mac trucks zooming down a 6-lane highway, and ask God to help me to take a step back, to be able to see what He was really getting at by using the word “highway” as an illustration of what our hearts should be like. I knew it was intentional, and I knew it was important enough for God to have put it in there for us to read, so I didn’t want to just read through it and say, “Oh, that sounds like a nice verse,” one more time...maybe highlighting it, but not having the true meaning birthed in my heart. So, I fought against the urge to just move on to the next verses, and as I waited on the Lord...this is what he showed me:

Back in Biblical times, before cars and trucks and pavement, a highway would have simply been a path that was wellplaced, and well-used. It wouldn’t have been a noisy, obnoxious slab of pavement, but a road that was well-worn, and frequented by many on their way to the city -- in this case, the city of Zion, which is often used as a Biblical representation of the city of the Lord - the Great King! So, this verse could be paraphrased to say, “Blessed are those in whose heart are the well-traveled roads to meet with their King.” This is how our hearts should be. There are many “roads” that our hearts can have...and many “ruts” we can easily get into on those roads -- the road to waste time on the computer, the road to get angry, the road to go to work, the road to watch a movie when we’re bored, the road to go shopping...there are just SO many “roads”!! I’m sure you can think of a few roads that your own heart travels on daily. And, while there are plenty of downright worthless and sinful roads, there are also roads that are important and which have to be traveled each day. But what this verse is encouraging us to examine is whether the most frequented, well-traveled roads in our

receive the power we need to overcome in every situation that presents itself...and that is one reason we frequent the courts of the Lord so very often -- ‘cuz there are an awful lot of circumstances that arise each and every day that we simply don’t have the wisdom, or courage, or energy, or desire to face. It’s just not in us. But we now know that all we must do when these things arise is set off to visit the King. One more trip down the highway. One more trip to make the way smoother, more clear, and more emblazoned on our hearts. “As they go through the Valley of Baca [lit. ‘Weeping’] they make it a place of springs; the early rain also covers it with pools.” The “they” in this verse is referring to lives are those leading to fellowship with those who frequently visit the King (see - I the King -- because we just have to be with Him all the time, and we can’t think of told you it was important! ;) ). As you can see, I added in the translation of “Baca”, so being apart from Him for very long; bethat what I share further on would make cause...well...because we LOVE Him! more sense. “Baca” literally means “weep This verse is the building block for ing”. What God showed me about the the rest of this passage, so it is important meaning of these verses is that, as those to really understand what it means, and who love the Lord (finding their strength to let it sink in; the rest of the promises in in abiding in Him) go through difficulties the passage are dependent on us finding and trials (the “Valley of Weeping”), the our strength in Christ - continually going difficulties WILL be turned into a blessing to spend time with Him, so that He can actually live through us, and fill us with His before them, AND a blessing also for those who follow after them, as they see the power, so that we can live in a way that pleases Him, and find our joy, our strength, victories obtained by those who went before; as they see that rejoicing, victory, and our hope, our purpose -- our ALL, IN Him, and WITH Him. When this is our reality, we blessing IS possible to take hold of in spite of trials. God will never leave us just wandon’t go down every other road looking dering in the desert or in our trials, but will for something to fill our needs, but we instead go straight to visit the King because rain down refreshment upon us, if we seek His face as we go through these difficult we know that it is only with Him that we places. I know of many who have gone receive the help we seek. People will look through unthinkably heartbreaking things at our lives and easily see that we don’t - things that would cause those who have any strength of our own, but that when we go to spend time with Jesus, we doubt God to turn their backs on Him...

even on the world itself, and to become very hard and bitter - and yet, have clung to the Lord as they walked through the Valley of Weeping, and found that “joy comes with the morning”! Whenever I go through something heartbreakingly difficult myself, I have to remember that there are many who have gone before me who have had to deal with even MORE heartbreaking things, AND who have come through them with faith in Jesus and rejoicing and joy, instead of depression, bitterness, and despair. They are always an example to me, and an encouragement to not despair when hard things come, but to press into the presence of God and receive the help and strength that He so willingly offers to any who would come. And God will use US as that encouragement and refreshment for others who see us go through difficult and even terrifying things, and come forth with joy in the Lord, and unshaken faith in His promises! The difficult way that we must all pass through will be made a little easier for those who follow after us, as we hold fast to the Lord and continually dwell in the sanctuary of His presence; there will be springs of refreshment and hope bubbling up around them as they, too, pass that way. Be encouraged - it is not just for your own refuge that you hold onto Christ as the harsh winds blow, but also for those

around you - that the power and redemption of Christ Jesus would be glorified, and seen to be a safe refuge for any that would take hold of Him. “They go from strength to strength; each one appears before God in Zion.” Again, the “they” in this verse refers to those who love spending time with Jesus. Yes, I had to bring it up again. Because it is an important factor, but if you take hold of it, these promises will be yours to hold onto, knowing that God always keeps His promises. And this promise is, indeed, a comforting one. Instead of our difficulties overcoming us, and causing us to become weak and timid, as we cling fast the the Lord in the midst of difficulties, God will cause us to become stronger with each testing, and more purified and effective in service to Him. He will not only simply get us through trials ‘by the skin of our teeth’, so to speak, but will cause us to come forth full of strength and rejoicing in Him, as we trust in our God. And God will not stop after just one trial, but as we steadfastly hold onto Him, HE will steadfastly be holding onto us...and He will see us through to the end, and “keep you from stumbling and....present you blameless before the presence of His glory with great joy” (Jude 1:24)! Hallelujah!

What Size is

your T

he look. The double-take. With looks like that, I can only imagine what is going on in their minds. “Is she really that big? What is wrong with her? Doesn’t she know that she needs to lose weight?” I have been “bigger” than all of my friends since I was young. People, even strangers, have made comments--giving me tips on weight loss and exercise. Sometimes it seems like everyone *thinks* I am the only one in the world who doesn’t know that I am bigger than “average”. There are times when people feel so badly for me that they try to find something, anything, that they can compliment me on (while also managing to throw in there something about my size anyways) so that maybe I won’t feel so badly about myself. Kind ladies asking if I am expecting, don’t know that I’m still single and totally taken aback 22

Heart? by their forward questions. “No, I’m not.” I try to politely respond with a smile, all the while wanting to run away crying. All of us are insecure. Hollywood and just about every other form of media tell us that we HAVE to be a certain way in order to be beautiful, accepted, and (of course, the end all) to get love. We’re told that guys only want blonde, skinny girls with perfect skin, perfectly placed hair that blows in the wind just so, and sparkling white teeth that will blind them when you smile. Sounds unrealistic, doesn’t it? That’s because it is. In a world that tells us the skinnier the better, being larger than average is not easy. Even being average sized isn’t easy. No matter what, you will never ever meet the stan23

dards that have been set by the modern world. Every girl is plagued by a desire to have an eating disorder just to “fit in” and be crowned the title of “beautiful” in a harsh world. However, true beauty is not found on your body, but in your heart. The Bible says “Charm is deceitful and beauty is vain, But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised.”

(Proverbs 31:30) Fearing the Lord...That doesn’t mean being terrified of Him. It means that Jesus is your Lord and Savior. He is the one whose opinion matters the most to you. So how do we keep focused on God, not on our looks, when everyone around us is focused on making us a “better” us? How can I, a larger than average sized, brown-eyed, brown-haired girl, filled with blemishes and imperfect teeth exist in a world that tells me that 24

I’m not beautiful and need to just try harder? I am not oblivious to social norms and how my outward appearances do not fit the mold whatsoever. Believe me, I have tried losing weights in all different ways. If it weren’t for the Lord, I am sure I would be a total mess, completely caught up in the latest diet trends, exercising non stop, and more. I spent one

year in that mindset that after someone informed me that “guys like skinny girls.” I started exercising no matter the weather every day and obsessively counting my calories. This person had also prayed with me about my future husband, followed by a list of all kinds of exercising and weight loss tips. That year was completely spent on pursuing worldly beauty and approval, all the while sticking the phrase of “taking care of my temple” on it. Surely this was godly, right? I am trying to be beautiful so that I can get married. There is nothing wrong with

that...right? But God was not in it because I was spending all of my time working on my outward appearance, instead of spending any time in His Presence, and letting Him change my heart. Over the past few years, God has indeed been chiseling away at my inner beauty--my heart. Slowly I have been letting go of my own ideas about beauty and letting Him transform my heart and show me what true beauty means to Him. It isn’t a weight loss plan on how to have a thigh gap, or a new facial regime to prevent early facial lines. It is actually being close to the Lord. When you grow close to the Lord, He begins to cultivate your heart--weeding out the bad, and caring for the new and joyful things He plants in there. He will change your heart into a beautiful garden, filled with fragrant flowers and flowing with Living Water.

Sure, eat healthy, exercise. There’s nothing wrong with either of those things. But, DON’T let it consume your life. Do not heed the condemning voice of the devil blaming you for being hungry or even for eating. It is not worth losing your relationship with God. No amount of striving for outward beauty is going to make up for lost time with the one who made you. No calorie counter or 5k running app is going to be such a good friend as Jesus. He alone will comfort your hurting heart. He is the One who holds your heart, Who knows what is best for you and wants the absolute best for YOU. Will people still say things? Yes. People will always say things, no matter if you are a size 16 or a size 6. When they do, run to Jesus and remember: “God sees not as man sees, for man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” 1 Samuel 16:7b

Article by: Rachel

An Unshakable Girl Staff Writer

Mourning turned to

Dancing!

By: A Fellow Broken Girl

“Arise, my darling, my beautiful one, and come along.” Song of Solomon 2:10 Ouch. That hurts. But do I tell anyone? No. I stuff it. I hide it away from the world because no one needs to know that I am weak or fragile. Ugh! They went to the mall without me again? Didn’t it ever cross their minds that I might want to go too? Not that I’ve given them any reason to think that I might want to go with them. They don’t like me anyway...cuz I’m weird. And they don’t understand me. They don’t even try to understand me cuz I don’t fit into their perfect idea of what a girl should be like. I’m not like those girls. I’m not pretty. I’m not bubbly. I’m not into make-up, shoes, shopping, boys, or chick flicks. And I don’t want to be. That stuff is dumb. Why would anyone want to do that stuff anyway? Fine, they can go and have fun. I don’t really want to hang out with them. They’re just girls. I was seventeen years old, and I was as much of a tomboy as a girl could get, chasing after adventure and rough-and-tumble playground sports, not boys, and longing for a friend, not a romantic relationship. To be honest, I never really put much thought into why I was the way I was, I just was. I hated being a girl and did everything in my power to be as un-girly as possible. And that was my life. Pink is gross. Jeans should have straight legs, not flared bottoms and tops should be t-shirts or hoodies. Hair should be as short as possible without actually buzzing it all off. If it happens to be a while between haircuts and your hair gets in the way, pull it up into a messy bun to get rid of it. Or dye it blue. Don’t bother with “nice” looking clothes; they’re un-

comfortable and never fit right anyway. You have to be polite because the Bible says so, but whatever you do, don’t let on that you are compassionate or caring. That would show weakness or allude to the fact that you actually do have basic female emotions. And whatever happens: do not cry in public. I am a broken girl. Or at least I was. I have been through one of the hardest forms of pain that a girl could ever go through. Only I didn’t know it. I would just go about life being me. Or at least being the me that I had created me to be. But God was going to bring me through a roller coaster ride of a healing process that would cause me to become the me that He had created me to be: a beautiful representation of Himself to show the world that He knows. He knows. And that it is by His wounds we are healed (1 Peter 2:24). One day when I was six years old a girl in my first grade class told me she didn’t recognize me that morning when I first walked into our classroom. I was sporting my new haircut, so proud that I had been brave at the hair salon. The night before was my first time going for a haircut. My mom let me have it done however I wanted. And I had wanted it as short as possible. The girl in my class told me that at first when she saw me, she thought I was a new boy that was starting at the school. Every girl , no matter their age, wants to be called pretty and cute. It’s natural for us girls, so her innocent, childish remark cut into my heart just like the hair dresser’s sharpened scissors had cut off my hair, only in a strange way it almost felt good. It was a pain that

subconsciously expressed what was buried inside my heart, deep down somewhere, in the places of my heart I was not allowed to talk about. The place that was forgotten and calloused over. The place that was only confusion and shame. The place that one time, a while back, had made Mommy cry and Daddy speechless. The place that I never wanted anyone to know about, not even myself. This incident with the girl at my school was only one of many that would cause me much embarrassment, pain, callousness of heart, and bitterness over my lifetime. But it felt good because with every biting word or rejecting comment, I had accomplished my secret, subconscious goal: to not be a girl anymore. This was the first of many times where people would question my gender or comment about it. Many times people would mistake me for a boy and I liked it that way. Yes, it was somewhat embarrassing but I learned to let the embarrassment roll off each time and smile inwardly, enjoying the feeling of being in control of what people thought of me and letting it cut into my heart a little bit deeper. This wasn’t the only form of pain I experienced over the years. When you live in a way that is different, people do not usually make an effort to be close to you. People just didn’t understand me, and I had developed a hard attitude toward other people from constantly feeling the little snips at my heart.This made my life pretty lonely. Most days I couldn’t understand why people didn’t want to hang out with me or be my friend, but I think after a while I started to

get the hint, and I took it for granted that I would never have any friends and that the world just hated me. So what did I do when the pain of people’s rejection or misunderstanding hurt in a way that didn’t feel good? I tried other ways to hurt myself. Not cutting or anything obvious like that, but by finding ways to bruise places that no one else could see, or scratch myself with sharp objects in places that no one but me would know about. I knew it was wrong, but somehow I always found myself thinking clearly about it only after the damage was done. Then I lived with the guilt and fear of other people finding out. After I turned eighteen I started having nightmares and daydreams that were so scary and weird I couldn’t figure out where they were coming from. I had started really pressing into the Lord and seriously committing my life to Him as His servant. I was willing to go where He wanted me to go and give up whatever He put His finger on. I was spending time with Him faithfully every day and learning to make Him my first and only love. He was my best friend and my life was finally starting to have meaning. I felt His real love for me like no one else could love me. That’s why it was so random to have these visions or dreams or whatever they were. I knew that the devil always attacks God’s children when they start getting close

to Him because he wants to try and get them to slacken their pace in seeking the Lord, but this didn’t really seem like that. It wasn’t like the normal way that the devil presses in... it was so... so real. For some reason, the unsettling pictures that would come into my mind, flashing through so fast I couldn’t keep track of them or rolling through my mind like a fuzzy old movie, were very personal. They affected me somehow. It was as if the things that would pop into my head were part of another world, another life. It was as if I had lived those things I saw through some other person’s body. And it scared me. What was wrong with me? When I had these dreams I would startle awake in the night or shake in my sleep and wake up crying. I started having these every day and every night and I needed help. I seriously needed help. I set aside some time alone and I cried out to Jesus. If anyone could show me what to do, it was Him. It wasn’t long before He made it clear that the things I was seeing were flashbacks. Memories of a traumatic time in my life that I had subconsciously blotted out so that I would not have to feel the pain or the shame. Memories I had hidden as a secret deep in my heart and never talked about it. It was like a splinter wound that had healed over on the outside but was

still embedded under the skin. I was having flashbacks from a time in my childhood when I had been sexually abused on several occasions by the same person. I had actually lived through the horrible things I saw in my dreams. Tears streamed down my face as years of numbness began to wear off. The callous on my heart had started to soften the moment I started to diligently make time with Jesus in my daily schedule, and day by day He had been bringing me slowly and gently to this point in my life because He always does a thorough work in the heart of the one who has fully given herself to Him. He doesn’t leave anything undone. His work is always complete. And now it was time for Him to bring up and dust off that painful subject which I had chosen to bury in the past. For the first time in years I allowed myself to remember. And I was broken. So very wounded. I sought the Lord with all my strength and refused to allow myself to not feel it. I knew that it was time to allow the Lord to dig up the splinter from the past and begin to clean out the wound, even if it was painful. I knew that I could trust Him to hold my hand while I let Him do the painful work. I took time to pray at intervals throughout a period of forty-eight hours. All I wanted was comfort and relief for my raw and throbbing heart wound. During this time, Jesus showed me that the lifestyle I had been living, wanting to be as unfeminine as possible, was not just a personality bent. It was a selfprotective armor I had put on in order to keep what happened from happening again. It was

my way of becoming as unattractive as possible in hopes that that would keep the world of men from wanting to harm me for their own pleasure. Instead, in choosing to live in this supposedly “safe” lifestyle, I had brought more pain into my life. The first thing I needed to do was talk about it all with someone. I needed to get it all out and let someone into the fortress of my heart. I grabbed my two best friends, both older than me and exceptionally godly people who had been encouraging me in my walk with the Lord for several years. I knew I could trust them to help me through this intense struggle. We sat down together in a private place and I shared with them about all the awful memories that had been resurfacing. It was the first time in my life that I had told anyone what had happened to me. In all honesty it was the first time in my life that I had allowed myself to think about what had happened to me. We talked, cried, and prayed for a long time for the Lord to remove all of the pain and bitterness that had developed in my heart. I tried to be as open with them, with God, and with myself as possible. I just knew that it was time to be done with the pain of all those years. It was time to move on. After I was able to share and pour out my heart before my friends and before Jesus, I felt a sparkle of sweet joy flickering to life inside of my heart. I felt a lightness and purity that I had never felt before. I felt like I was going to float up to the ceiling and I burst into laughter! My friends were laughing, too, and we were all in tears. I can’t even explain adequately the feelings that were overwhelm-

“Forgiving is something that usually takes broken girls a long time to get around to, but God wanted to do a thorough work in my heart that very night.”

ing me, but that day my heart felt the salve of Jesus’ love being applied and the removal of the chains of bondage that had been holding me a prisoner to myself. The world became beautiful that night, not because it hadn’t been beautiful before, but because Jesus had made me beautiful in His sight. While we were praying God showed me that I needed to forgive the person who had hurt me. I asked that Jesus would help me to do this immensely difficult thing. Forgiving is something that usually takes broken girls a long time to get around to, but God wanted to do a thorough work in my heart that very night, so He and my two dear friends, coached me through a prayer of forgiveness and victory over the power of the devil in my life. I indeed had been in a bondage to the devil for all of those years without even knowing it, and it was time to be free. Free. Free from bondage. Free from the cage in which I had enclosed myself for protection. Free from all of the terrible memories. Free from the horrible guilt, shame, and loneliness. Free to be who God created me to be. A girl. A woman. A beautiful representation of His love, compassion, humility, and gentleness. God would then bring me day by day through a dramatic time of life changing healing where He would peel off more and more

layers of the old me and replace them with the brand new, clean, whole, and pure me. And now several years later, girls who meet me can’t even see a trace of what I used to be like. I’ve even had girls who didn’t know my story comment on how I’m “such a girl”. God has done such an amazing, healing work in me. I am now a joy-filled, ticklish, pink-loving, scarf-wearing, sparkly-eye-shadow-applying, beautiful-in-Jesus’-eyes wife of an amazing godly husband. One of the sweetest parts of my story is how God was working out His plan for me to marry one of those two friends who had been helping me through the healing process. My tender husband knows my deepest secret and has been there by my side through all of the changes, the praying, the sobbing, the remaining flashbacks, and the forgiving. He is my best friend and he is constantly encouraging me in my new life. I praise You, Lord, for You have truly done an impossible thing in my life. You have turned my mourning into dancing and girded me with gladness. How could I ever repay what You have done for me except by giving myself to You thoroughly and wholeheartedly. I desire to show this broken world that Jesus is bigger than the painful things we have gone through and He knows.

â&#x20AC;&#x153;Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour. Resist him, firm in your faith, knowing that the same kinds of suffering are being experienced by your brotherhood throughout the world. And after you have suffered a little while, the God of all grace, who has called you to his eternal glory in Christ, will himself restore, confirm, strengthen, and establish you.â&#x20AC;? (1 Peter 5:8-10)

Contact Tai Sophia at:Tai@unshakablegirl.com