Unshakable Girl Magazine OCTOBER 2014

Missions Edition!

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October/November/December 2014

|girl

Thanksgiving MAGAZINE

Choosing

Meet

Kinsey Reaching Muslims in NYC

Godly Guys On What’s Speak Important

What’s a

Missionary ?

Contents:

Devotional Choosing Thanksgiving

4 Relevant Truths Guilt

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Godly Guys Speak On What’s Important

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Interview Meet Kinsey: Reaching Muslims in NYC

Since 2014

Daily Disciplines You Want...Me??

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16 Culture and Life What’s a Missionary?

Unshakable Girl Magazine Designer: Tai Sophia www.beggarlybouquet.com All content in this publication is copyright 2014.

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Guilt 4

G

uilt. Chances are, you’ve felt it...and if you haven’t, chances are, you just might someday. It is a product of our sinfulness combined with that inner understanding that is built into all of us that says there is right and wrong...and when you do something that’s wrong, you know it. When we do something that goes against God’s laws, or even when something bad happens to us and we know it was wrong, we can tend to feel guilty. It might start out as conviction, which is actually a gift from God, to let us know that we need to repent so we can be restored to Him. However, if we simply hold on to the bad, yucky feelings, and let them sit, and ferment, and grow...the thing they turn into is guilt, which is not from the Lord.

The Lord convicts us of sin for our good, so we can say sorry, and turn away from it, and be made clean

by His Spirit. And the moment we repent, God forgives us completely and doesn’t hold our sins against us any more.

But guilt is when WE choose to hold onto our sinfulness, saying to ourselves that God’s forgiveness can’t possibly be enough to undo what we’ve done; can’t possibly be enough to make us clean again, and we replay our sinfulness over and over and over again, choosing to hold onto the weight of what happened instead of accepting God’s simple way out (repenting and being given new hearts).

And often times, guilt is straight from the devil, who is always trying to keep us from a close friendship with God which is exactly what guilt does.

Also, guilt comes from our own pride. Which is a funny thing, because at the same time that we are crushed by the weight of our incredible weaknesses, we can actually also still be holding onto pride; that part of us that thinks that what we’ve done is actually too big or too bad for God to fix. And there is that part of us that WANTS to feel bad for what we’ve done. We feel like we need to do some kind of self-punishment because just saying sorry doesn’t seem like enough...and honestly, we just want to have a pityparty. There’s something about feeling miserable that we actually really don’t want to give up. I know because I’ve been there. So often when I am feeling guilty or miserable, I can see the way out, but I a hesitant to take it because my flesh loves the pity of others, or just loves sitting and moping and recounting all the ways I’ve failed because it’s feeding my selfishness...and letting God remove it from me -and taking hold of the fact that He HAS removed it from me, in faith- means that I have to stop focusing on myself, and start getting out and praising God and serving others...and...smiling - even singing! Whew! What a chore!

It’s so much easier just to sit and mope...or to wear a glum

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face around, hoping people ask you what’s wrong...so you have yet one more chance to accumulate pity for your always-hungry selfish nature.

Some of you may have been dealing with guilt for years, and you might even have convinced yourself that there’s nothing you can do about it...except maybe go through counseling or drown your sorrows in mind-numbing entertainment...or worse.

Guilt can be incredibly all-consuming, even to the point of making us ineffective in the Lord’s service, and causing us to retreat into our own little self-centered bubbles where we don’t have to see anyone else, or be asked to do anything.

liked

Again...I know this because I’ve been there.

I was raised in a Christian home, and I know that I had the Holy Spirit inside of me, showing me right and wrong. But those things didn’t keep me from sinning. I still had to make my own choices. And many, many times I chose wrong. One particular sin I kept committing over and over again.

I would say sorry to the Lord...and then fall again...then say sorry...and fall again. It got to the point where I felt like I shouldn’t even bother saying sorry or asking for the Lord’s forgiveness any more because I was sure He was done with me, and my sins were just too much for Him. I walked around with an intense weight of guilt on my shoulders continually, because I knew that what I was doing was wrong...but I wanted to be free...kind-of...and I kept falling in the same ways over and over...and yet, I was seen as a “good Christian girl”. And the only thing I could think of was, “what would people think of me if they knew what I had done”!

And now I know that my family and at least most, if not all of my friends, would actually have forgiven me and had so much grace toward me that I might have been shocked at how free I felt. But instead, the devil did a good job at keeping me locked up in my mind, and chained up by my own guilt, because I was always thinking about the fact that no one knew how much I had messed up...and in order to keep up my “good Christian girl” persona, I felt like they could never know. As years went by, the guilt kept me chained in lots of ways, because I felt like I couldn’t help anyone else until I had conquered this persistent sin in my own life...and so I shied away from many ministry opportunities or ideas I had, simply because I felt too guilty to be able to speak to anyone with authority about the Lord.

Some weeks were better, and then I would have more confidence to do things...and then I would fall, and the waves of guilt would close in over my head again, and I would retreat into my own self-centered bubble.

This just showed that my focus was on myself, and if I felt like I was doing enough good stuff to make up for the bad...and not on Christ’s finished and complete work on the cross, and HIS righteousness. That is such an easy place to end up; feeling like if we do enough good stuff, it kind of covers over the guilt, and maybe we can face God again...but as soon as we mess up, or if we aren’t able to do enough good to satisfy our own quota for what we feel is good enough, then the guilt washes right back in, and we can’t face God OR anyone else without shame.

I my sin more than I wanted the holiness of God. The holiness of God takes work.

My sin was easy.

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There is only one thing that can stop this endless cycle of guilt. Curious? Well, King David is an excellent example. He sinned many times, one of the most notable times being when he murdered a man in order to take his wife for his own...and this was after already committing adultery with her. That’s pretty bad. Now, you’d think that after David had messed up so badly, God would give up on Him and find someone better to be king, right?

Fortunately for us, God is not like us. God sent

a prophet to confront David about his sin...and when David’s eyes were opened, and he saw how wicked he had been, he quickly humbled himself before the Lord and repented. Now, God had to judge David’s sin; there had to be consequences both to show David how very serious it was, and also because he was actually the King, and he was an example to all the people he ruled over of what was acceptable...and what he did was very much NOT something God wanted to be repeated by anyone else. David saw that his sin was very deep and needed to be scrubbed out of him

by God, and Psalm 51 is David’s prayer of repentance to the Lord after the prophet came to him and revealed his sin. Verses 16-17 say, “For you will not delight in sacrifice, or I would give it; you will not be pleased with a burnt offering.

The sacrifices of God are a broken spirit; a broken and contrite heart, O God, you will not despise.”

1.)

This is the first step to being free from guilt:

Humble yourself before the Lord, and acknowledge the full weight of your sins, and understand how much these things are not only destroying you (and even those around you), but also are hurtful to the Lord and go against the purity of who He is! Don’t try to sluff things off, or say, “It wasn’t so bad.” You must actually be broken before the Lord by the weight of your sin.

God doesn’t want you to “sacrifice” to Him by doing more good things to try to make up for it.

The sacrifice He desires from you is to actually just admit all that you have done wrong, and repent... and to actually BE sorry for it. So many times I said, “Please forgive me, Lord”, but I wasn’t actually

sorry for what I had done...because, in all honesty, there was a part of it that I really liked. And it is like that with any sin - that is why we fall into sin: because the devil only tempts us with the things we like - that’s what makes them tempting! I liked my sin more than I wanted the holiness of God. The holiness of God takes work. My sin was easy.

2.)

Verses 10-12 of Psalm 51 say, “Create in me a clean heart, O God, and renew a right spirit within me. Cast me not away from your presence, and take not your Holy Spirit from me. Restore to me the joy of your salvation, and uphold me with a willing spirit.”

First, as these verses allude to, it can be true that, if we persist hardheartedly in our sins, and refuse to repent, God will take away His Holy Spirit from us, and let us go our own way into the dark wilderness of sinfulness. It is a scary thing, and should cause us to not hesitate in humbling ourselves before the Lord. While you are still feeling conviction, there is still hope.

But the main point I wanted to make with these verses is that you must ask God for a new, clean heart and the desire and willingness to do what is right...and when you sincerely ask, He will do it!

3.)

Verse 7 says, “Purge me with hyssop, and I shall be clean; wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.” David doesn’t say, “Hopefully someday I’ll be able to get over what I did, and not feel so yucky about it.” He takes hold of the complete cleansing work of the Lord in faith, and says, “I SHALL be clean” and, “I SHALL be WHITER than snow”. Not just a little clean, and a little less dirty, but so thoroughly cleaned and made new that there isn’t any of the old sin remaining! And it has nothing to do with David’s righteousness or good

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works, but it has everything to do with the Lord Himself reaching in and scrubbing (...and scrubbing...and scrubbing some more) out all of the dirt of wickedness and sin from David’s heart; making it new and completely pure!

That is the amazing thing about God: He will actually make our impure, sinful, gunked up hearts totally pure again if we let Him remove all of the sin!

And this step is so important, in that, we actually have to cling to this purity and newness of heart with all the strength we have! We have to hold on in faith and not let go. The devil will try to bring that guilt back to us and say, “Look how horrible you are! Look at what you did!” And you can say with confidence, “Yes, I did that, but God has given me a new heart and that stuff isn’t in it! He has removed my sin from me as far as the east is from the west. He has given me new desires, and those old sinful ones aren’t welcome any more - so I’m not even going to dwell on them in retrospect [looking back at the past].” And then, don’t even give those things a second thought, but move on to praise the Lord and to rejoice in Him for the way He has set you free and forgiven you!

God doesn’t just forgive a little - He always forgives completely!

And you don’t have to be held back by guilt any more - you too can be set free to help others and tell them about the Lord and what He has done for you; bearing much eternal fruit for His kingdom....like David said in Psalm 51:13, “Then I will teach transgressors your ways, and sinners will return to you.”

Praise God for His redeeming power! He uses even our struggles to bring forth good! And now you can have a greater love and understanding toward those who are also dealing with sin and the incredible weight that guilt puts on us.

“And Jesus said, ‘Neither do I condemn you; go, and from now on sin no more.’”

John 8:11b

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“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.”

John 8:36

“

Purge me with hyssop, and I

shall be clean;

wash me, and I shall

be whiter than

snow. ”

Devotional

“Choosing Thanksgiving”

“The one who offers thanksgiving as his sacrifice glorifies Me;” Psalm 50:23

“I never have enough money for the things I want.”

Angie slumped down into her chair with a huff. Her friends turned slightly in their seats, politely acknowledging that they had heard, but no one offered a response, because... well...what do you say? Angie continued, “I’m tired of being stuck at home, but my car needs to be fixed again, and I never have any money to get out and do something just for fun once in a while.” Someone slurped the remainder of their root-beer float loudly through their straw, with a sideways glance. “And I’m sick of my job, and I wish I could just do something that’s more...interesting.” Silence. Someone coughed, and one of Angie’s friends offered a low, “Mmmmhmm,” in half-hearted support.

We all know how it goes.

And perhaps you have been the complaining “Angie” in your own circles of friends. It’s easy to do! It is so easy to slip into complaining especially when you allow yourself to have a mindset where you feel like you deserve certain things things like comfort, security, money, time, rest, love, etc. I have been this way many times. The more I feel “deserving” of something, the more grumpy and complaining I am when I don’t get it.

But the truth is, if we want to serve the Lord and surrender our WHOLE lives to Him, that means that we must actually surrender our WHOLE lives to Him. What a crazy concept.

When we say we want to do whatever He wants us to, that doesn’t just mean, “As long as it’s fun and exciting”. It also means staying up an hour or two longer than you had planned, in order to pray for someone. It means not always having the “normal” comforts of life that have become just a way of life for us North Americans; things people will think you are weird or under-privileged for not having, but in reality, most of such things weren’t even invented until recent years! It means not chasing after guys...and maybe being content for a long time without one, in order to serve God however He calls you. It may mean not having free time to do whatever you want; it may mean not even having just a few minutes to relax or have peace and quiet.

It may mean not having money; not being able to get all

the super awesome hair products that sparkle on the shelf, or the fab new fashions that are oh-so cute.

When we decide that we want to follow Jesus, we lay all of our “deserving” aside, and instead begin to live our lives, not for ourselves any more, but for the Lord and for others! We are to be like Jesus, and take on the form of a servant - doing all the dirty work, and not looking for comfort, or relaxation, or any kind of reward. (“...but [Jesus] emptied himself, by taking the form of a servant...” Philippians 2:7a) When we complain, it is not only just plain annoying for everyone around us to listen to, but it is also drawing all attention to ourselves and is the same as saying, “I deserve better”. It is self-seeking, for, all we really want is people to pity us... but often we don’t even realize that, while we are looking for pity to boost our own egos, we are, at the same time, telling the watching world that God isn’t actually enough for us, and that He is stingy and hard-hearted. We are discrediting God while we seek our own fulfillment - what a tragedy! (And I am certainly preaching to myself here, because I have done this far, far too often.)

However, when we choose thankfulness instead of complaining, it flips the whole situation around, from the spotlight being on us, to it being where it rightfully belongs: on Jesus. It might be difficult to choose thankfulness when you are actually having a really rough day - but that’s why it is called a “sacrifice”. We must do it even when we’d rather complain or curl up in a ball and cry. You will find that the more you catch yourself as you are about to complain, and instead, thank the Lord for His goodness, the more natural it will become! Let your thankfulness flow as freely and as publicly as you have proclaimed your woes. It will direct all the glory and attention to the Lord, and you will find your own attitude beginning to change.

Instead of a continual cloud of gloom hanging over your head, your clouds will roll back, and you will begin to see into the very joys of heaven itself!

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y l d o G ?

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Guys

Speak ?

Ever wonder what guys who really, REALLY love the Lord think is important in a girl? Get an INSIDE look into what they’re thinking as you read this page, which is straight from the heart of anonymous REAL-LIFE missionary guys...

First I would say that whatever they do should never be with the motive of “so that I can marry a godly man". All should be for the motive of being the bride of Christ. If Jesus has a husband for you, which He probably does, He will teach you how to be a good wife. The most important thing that He will teach you is how to act out of selfless love for Jesus. This selfless love for another person is one of the most important things we can ever learn. And no marriage can survive without it.

The guy must selflessly love the girl, and the girl must selflessly love the guy, and both must love Jesus above all! In a lot of ways, it’s much less complicated than you might think. So, I suggest asking Jesus, “What do You want me doing TODAY?” And He will take care of your future! He has promised that He will!

There are many different “voices” telling girls what they should be doing with their lives while they are single. What would you say are the things which are actually important?

A man who wants to serve the Lord wants to find a girl who is seeking God for His own sake. Girls can look the part of a Christian when they’re at church or around specific guys, but inwardly they don’t love God for His own sake. Acting the part of a Christian is one of the easiest things to do on earth, and it can take a long time for a guy to find out if a girl is serious about God. Sometimes it’s easy to tell, but sometimes it can take weeks or moths before you know if someone actually loves the Lord, or if they’re just putting on a show. But the greatest criteria that a godly man needs to know is that the girl’s first love is Jesus. He will need to see a long-standing walk with God that has been consistent and real; a serious love for Jesus that started before he ever met the girl.

What

hat a What is it t ho godly guy w g ervin is actively s looking the Lord is for in a girl?

Be careful not to “follow your heart”.

In Proverbs 3, it says, “Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not are some culrely on your own understanding ...and tural snares that you He will direct your path." Our heart is I once walked into a would encourage full of selfish desires, and sometimes Why can’t he be in a house, before I was and there were we don’t even know it! Also, the devil girls to beware of? relationship with just married, 3 young ladies sitting is very active and has lured many Christian girls into relationships any girl who might at a table with a group of people. Part of me with ungodly guys. I have watched have a crush on wanted to go meet them]. But in horror as girls have thrown away their lives because they when I saw them, I knew that thought that “this is the one”, or “I’ll be able to change him”, him? they were not serious about and their lives are destroyed. Always remember that WE can’t Christ. They were friendly, atchange anyone - only Jesus can! Our job is to do what Jesus tractive by the world’s standards, and had come from said. He says, “Preach the gospel,” and, “Do not be unequally Christian families, but I knew that Jesus was not their yoked”. The best way to save a soul is by doing God’s will, and first love. I could tell just from their conversation. And it is never God’s will for a Christian to be in a relationship though I was single and wanted to meet people and wanted with a non-Christian. God is trying to protect us, and if we go to be married, I knew at that moment, that I should not into a relationship with a non-Christian, thinking that we can even try to meet them...and I walked into another room, change them, we are believing a deadly lie, straight from Saand avoided contact with them. It has now been 5 years, tan’s mouth. God will give you an excellent husband, and your and I have seen those girls around every now and then, marriage will be sweeter than you can imagine. Please don’t and it seems that they are still not walking close to Jesus. take the quick and easy way. Jesus will take care of you if you And though my heart wanted to meet them in the moment, cling to Him with both hands. time proved that wisdom does not lie, and that we need Marriage is a sweet blessing from God, but there is no greater to be equally yoked with those who have a serious, wholejoy in the whole world than being in the arms of our Father in hearted, first love for Christ. heaven. Jesus has called you to be His bride! That is the highest calling that any human could receive.

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Reaching Muslims in

New York City Meet Kinsey, an “ordinary” girl from South Carolina, who has God called out of her “ordinary” life, and into His service, along with her husband, Brian. I’ve known Kinsey for quite a while, and have been so blessed to watch her cling to the Lord throughout all of the challenges of life, and have rejoiced with her as she has given herself fully to the Lord’s service, and embraced the adventure that He has set before her. Currently she, her husband, and son are living in NYC as they seek to share the gospel with Muslim immigrants who are living there.

Here’s their story...

1.) Can you explain exactly what it is that you’re currently doing?

“Brian and I work in New York City with a mission organization called Global Gates. This organization was started because of the large number of immigrants coming to NYC, and many of these people

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have had no access to the Gospel back in their home countries. We work with the immigrants from West Africa, specifically the Mandinka and Soninke tribes. In NYC there are over 10,000 immigrants living here from just those two tribes alone! Once we moved here we were shocked at the huge number of people from other countries who have never heard the Gospel. Our goal is to see people of these Muslim groups come to Christ and begin a church among their own people.”

2.) Can you give us a little background on who you are, what your life looked like growing up, what your dreams/aspirations were as a child, and how God changed and shaped you as you got older?

“I grew up in South Carolina, just a short drive from the Blue Ridge mountains. My parents had eight kids, so we never had a dull moment in

our house! I am the second oldest, so growing up I spent a lot of time looking after the younger kids.

I loved being part of a big family! My sisters and brothers were definitely my best friends growing up, and even now as a young adult. We were homeschooled and that was great because my parents had an art business and so we got to travel the country with them when they had art shows. As a child I had many different dreams of what I wanted to do when I grew up. I think being a wife and mom was something I always wanted, but from the age of about 10, I really felt called to missions.”

3.) Did you “plan” on being a missionary? What would you have thought at that point about what you’re doing now?

‘Well, I definitely ‘planned’ on being a missionary when I was young, probably through middle school. But my idea of being a missionary was a lot different than the work I’m actually involved in now. When I was young I dreamed of going to India, and serving the street children there. I read biographies of many missionaries and my favorite was Amy Carmichael. When I came near the end of high school I began to seriously think about what I wanted to do for a career, and missions began to be pushed to the back of my mind.”

4.) At what point did you meet your husband, and how? What were your thoughts and plans like at that point?

“Brian and I met during my second year of college, when I started working at Chick-Fil-A ( a fast food restaurant). He was one of the managers there, and we hit it off right away. We actually were friends for about a year and a half before we

started dating though. At the time he was also in college, and we had a lot in common. He was also homeschooled and was a strong Christian. Like I said earlier, I was in college at this time. I was majoring in Elementary Education. Teaching was something I became interested in during high school, and I was very intent on becoming an elementary teacher after graduation. “

5.) How did God direct you to missions work...and how did He begin to shape the specifics?

“During my college years I really tried to ignore the calling to missions that I had experienced when I was younger. I was so looking forward to teaching, that I tried to dismiss that calling as a “childhood dream” and nothing more. I believe what was really going on was that as I got older, made more friends, and really looked toward the future I took my eyes off of serving God and began to just seek out what would make me most comfortable.

My favorite song during this time was a song called “Where the Trees Stand Still” by Bebo Norman. I really felt like that was my anthem, I just wanted a normal, ordinary life with my family. But in the back of my mind I always felt that tug of the Holy Spirit that I wasn’t following God’s will. The turning point came for me when Brian and I talked about getting married. He was majoring in Christian studies and he wanted to go into missions. I’ll never forget one night after returning from a mission trip to China he said, ‘Would you be willing to go anywhere to be a missionary?’ I began crying because I felt as if this question came from God and not Brian. Inside I still struggled with what this would mean for me, but I said ‘Yes.’ I really believe God brought us together to

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fulfill His calling in both of our lives. “

6.) What were your thoughts, fears, excitements (is that a word? lol) etc., as God began to guide you?

“After we were married Brian was still in school, so I became a teacher during this time. I taught at a local Christian high school. During this time I was unsure of exactly how we would serve God, but I knew we would be making that decision soon. I was excited about all the possibilities that lay ahead, but I was nervous too. I struggled with feeling like I wasn’t “spiritual” enough to be a good missionary. Also, I was really enjoying my time teaching these high schoolers. God was using me to speak into their lives, and I am still very thankful for the two years I taught there. We heard about the ministry that we are now a part of in 2012 at a missions conference in our hometown. We prayed about it and really saw the vast need for workers in New York City. At the same time we decided to go to NYC as missionaries, we also found out we were expecting our first child. I was excited to go to NYC, while at the same time I was sad to leave family in SC with this new addition coming so soon. “

7.) Were there difficulties that you had to overcome?

“Our first year here in NYC was a big transition for me. In many ways, I feel like I am still transitioning. Coming from a rural country town to live in The Bronx was a huge adjustment. Everything that

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I was used to enjoying was hard to find here: hiking, open spaces, grass, seeing the stars at night. Everything I took for granted in SC I realized I couldn’t find them here, so I have had to make an effort to find ways to make NYC feel like home for me. But the hardest part for me has been the distance from family. Having to miss graduations, birthdays, and weddings was very difficult. And really just knowing that our families have missed out on a lot of Jacob’s first years has been pretty hard too. “

8.) Are there any specific testimonies of how God overcame the difficulties and confirmed His will to you that you can share?

“God has proven Himself so many times since we have been here. Just seeing how God worked in our lives to bring us here, and how He is always providing the funds we need has been the biggest encouragement to us. Also, our church family here is made up of fellow missionaries who work in the city. Although no one can replace our families in SC, our church has been a great comfort to us through their friendship. “

9.) Can you give us a picture into some of the daily life/outreaches/struggles/ ministry opportunities that you have?

“Every day seems to be different from the one before! Since we minister to Muslims, Brian and I usually have to do separate outreaches, because Muslims typically do not approve of men and women talking together. There are many West African markets and mosques in our city. Brian visits these often and talks with the people there. We have found one Muslim leader who is interested in the Bible, so Brian meets with him every week for a Bible study. We feel that he is very close to becoming a believer! It is a little harder for me to get out in the community with a wild toddler in tow. But on Mondays I go to an African hair braiding shop.

Many African Muslim women work here, and I go every Mondayto teach English and Bible classes.

Other shops have heard about what we are doing, and have even asked us to do the same ministry at their braiding shops too! So that is very exciting. It makes all of the difficulties worthwhile when you

share God’s Word with someone for the first time and see their face light up. “

10.) How would you encourage girls who want to serve the Lord full time, but aren’t sure where to start?

“I believe the most important thing is to not get hung up waiting on a specific calling, but just begin to serve the Lord wherever you are. It may take years before you find out exactly where God wants you to serve, and that place may change many times. This is one piece of advice that a fellow missionary in NYC gave me: Don’t think of your life as one specific task that you have to accomplish for the Lord. But instead know that your life is a journey. It will have many stages. Some stages may feel like ministry, others may not, but we make it ministry when we choose to serve the Lord faithfully in whatever we do. For me, my stages were: college student, fast food worker, teacher, wife, mother, missionary. I don’t believe that any stage was more important than the other. What is important is the attitude you put behind it.

But on a more practical note, if you aren’t sure what type of ministry to get involved in, I would say: Just start trying anything and everything. Volunteering at a homeless shelter, pregnancy center, children’s home, mission trips. Each experience you have will help you see more clearly where you really thrive, and maybe what’s not quite for you. But always be open and pray for God’s guidance. And just a heads up: If you ask God to take you wherever He wants.....He will! So just be ready for that.”

Questions to Ponder M Are there things you know that God has asked

you to do that you’ve been neglecting?

M Would you be willing to go anywhere that

God asked?

M What can you start doing to serve the Lord this

week? Spend some time praying about it and asking God to direct you today - don’t waste another day in aimlessness!

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T he G if t

What’ s Mommy Hea of a

In

aM Selfish

What does it mean to be a missionary? The general idea of a missionary - the one that is always the first thing that pops into our heads at the mention of the word - is often times something like a saintly, glowing person with a halo. Someone with superhuman abilities to do things that “normal” people would never do. Someone who always does and says the right thing, and somehow magically always knows exactly what to do when confronted with a challenge. Someone who goes into the jungles of Africa alone and fearlessly preaches to hundreds of people who all get saved. Someone with great charisma and boldness.

If some of these things are what come to your mind when you think about what a missionary is... you might be surprised to hear what I’m about to say. But I will preface it by saying that I am comforted by these verses:

“For consider your calling, brothers: not many of you were wise according to worldly standards, not many were powerful, not many were of noble birth. But God chose what is foolish in the world to shame the wise; God chose what is weak in the world to shame the strong; God chose what is low and

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rt a

Missionary?

World

despised in the world, even things that are not, to bring to nothing things that are, so that no human being might boast in the presence of God.” (1 Corinthians 1:26-29 ESV)

Serving the Lord isn’t just about going overseas to build houses, or doctor sick people, or preach to cannibal tribes. Sometimes God calls people to do these things...and that is always really amazing to see! But sometimes there’s no glorious title given, such as “So-and-So, a missionary to Such-and-Such exotic location”. Sometimes serving God and doing what He asks you to do means staying in your home country - or even your hometown! Sometimes it means just being faithful to go out to the streets of your city and tell people about Jesus. It can mean simply realizing that practically every person you see walking by you every day is lost and confused and hurting...and dying inside, because they have no hope; because they don’t know Jesus.........and then committing yourself to follow the Lord’s direction to reach out to them, and to do whatever it takes to tell them about Jesus - to give them a chance at receiving new hearts and new lives. It’s not always glorious being a “missionary”. It’s not always fun.

It doesn’t mean getting a great tan, or having lots of pictures in your scrapbook with little kids in rags,

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with dirty faces. These people need Jesus... but so does the kid walking down the street with his face glued to his gameboy. So does the girl you see sitting alone on the bench in the park just crying. So does the barista at the coffee shop, with the sad eyes and empty heart...who has tried buddhism, witchcraft, and mormonism...and who is still searching and empty...so empty, and so confused. You don’t have to raise thousands of dollars to go out for a week and do a building project in a third world country.

You just have to wake up, and look around you each day - any day. You just have to see the needs of the people in your own town instead of pushing them aside, or assuming they’re “alright” (as I can often do myself, because my natural tendency is to generally just assume that everyone is doing fine).

You might be their only chance to hear about Jesus, and how He can actually give them new hearts and take away their sins, and their guilt and shame and emptiness and fill them with joy. Pray for God to give you His eyes to see people...and pray for boldness...because you’ll need it.

Now, can I tell you that, despite the rosy picture people have of “missionaries”...we are not super-human. In fact...our weaknesses are perhaps MORE apparent in the heat of spiritual battle, lack of sleep, and general stress. We often have moments of intense fear and intimidation. There are many times that we know God has told us to do something, and we hesitate too long. There are many missed opportunities. Many times we know we just need to reach out and help someone... and yet, the words escape us. We get tired very tired - and grumpy. Sometimes we say

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the wrong things; sometimes we say things out of our emotions (which are not always right) instead of from God’s Spirit’s guiding.

We don’t always have victory over the devil’s attacks and discouragements the first time... or the second. We don’t always see fruit from our labors; there aren’t people continually repenting or lining the streets asking, “What must I do to be saved?” We don’t get lots of pats on the back or encouragement - in fact, anger and slander and lots of hurtful words are more common than I ever thought they would be. There are many times when we wish we just had a little bubble that we could pull out and hide in whenever we wanted to have some “alone” or “peace-and-quiet” time. There are lots of times when we’d like to just give up, or get a “real” job, or, at the very least, go on a month vacation. There are some people and places we come across that just downright creep us out. There are sleepless nights, hunger, thirst, discomforts galore...and lots of times - too many from me personally - that we grumble and complain instead of praising the Lord like we know we should.

Being a missionary means being “on call” for God to use you as His hands and feet whenever, wherever He wants to...and it generally goes waaaayyy outside of our comfort zones. Can I just say that again? It generally, almost always, goes waaaayyy outside of our comfort zones. God likes to use us in areas we aren’t comfortable in so that we cling to Him more tightly, and so His power is displayed in our weaknesses - not our skill and cleverness. Sometimes God will call us to do things in a way that we are particularly gifted and comfortable in. Sometimes. But

more often than not, I have seen God’s call on my life and many others lead them outside of their realm of comfort and skill, leading them to lay aside their hobbies and many of the “gifts” they seem to have - the ones everyone is continually complimenting them on and marveling over - in order to just pursue reaching the lost with reckless abandon. There will be time for painting and knitting and playing instruments and doing trigonometry (if that’s something that floats your boat) in heaven.

(Not that there is anything wrong with doing these things, but we can waste so much time pursing our own interests and dreams that we don’t even notice the hurting people

“Being a missionary means being “on call” for God to use you as His hands and feet whenever, wherever He wants to...and it generally goes waaaayyy outside of our comfort zones.” around us. And all of these things take up so much time that they really leave very little for seeking the Lord ourselves, let alone trying to help others find Him. And I will also just add that I have had to lay aside many, many interests that I had in order to do the things God has set before me in this time - from art and playing instruments regularly, to dreams of being an archaeologist and a novel-writer.)

But there is only a very short time we have on earth, and SO many hurting, lost people who are just blindly stumbling their way into hell!

A missionary is simply someone who decides that time is too short to pursue things other than rescuing the lost, and who lays aside their other dreams and goals in order to seek those who are wandering, and to hold them back from the slaughterer of souls.

A missionary is not a perfect person, not always bold and outgoing (I’m really not!), not eloquent, doesn’t always have the whole Bible memorized, doesn’t always wake up like a chipmunk on coffee - wanting to go out and preach the gospel to anyone and

everyone they see, and doesn’t always know the right things to say or do. A missionary is simply someone whose heart has been filled with love and concern for others, and has laid down their own lives in order to bring others into freedom through the gospel (John 15:13). And it is oh, so worth it. Every time I get to see that light in the eyes of someone who “gets it”, my heart overflows with gladness and thankfulness to the Lord for leading me in this way. It can be challenging at times - and made more so by my own weaknesses...but it is so worth it, and so sweet; there is nothing I would rather do. The fruit of living the life of a missionary is that which will last forever, instead of turning to dust like the treasure of this world; meaningless when your life is over.

It is wonderful to see people raised up from their dead lives and given new hearts; filled with joy and light! It is beautiful to see those who were wandering aimlessly through life become like an unfolding flower; beautiful and fragrant. It is so special to be a part of a young child taking hold of the Good Shepherd’s hand for the first time. All this because Jesus chooses the foolish things of this world.....and that would be me. I am so grateful to be a part of His plan...and you can be too.

“Rescue those who are being taken away to death; hold back those who are stumbling to the slaughter.” Proverbs 24:11 “...save others by snatching them out of the fire.” Jude 23a

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You Want...

Me??

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“Now to Him who is able to do far more abundantly than all that we ask or think, according to the power at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, forever and ever.” Ephesians 3:20-21

It can be a scary thing when God asks you to serve Him. Now, there are many reasons that this statement may be true, but the one I’m currently getting at is the moment when we realize that we are sinful humans and so, so weak - continually messing up and making wrong choices...and yet, God is asking us to get out and preach the gospel, and to be His hands and feet, showing love to the desperate and dying souls we see each day! We realize that all that we do and say may be the only glimpse of the heart of Jesus that people will ever see! We wonder, “How can this be??

God should be using someone who’s far more righteous and holy than me! I can scarcely even stand firm in my own relationship with the Lord, let alone leading others to Him, or being an example of His love in a right way that will draw people to Him instead of causing them to turn away!” And we can see our own weaknesses in speaking with people, because so often either we miss the opportunity because we’re too shy or we don’t know what to say, or we do try talking to them, only to realize that we have no great wisdom or understanding

that can change their lives; when we don’t see people falling to their knees in tears wanting to repent after we talk to them, and instead, we get eyes rolling and mocking laughter, and we begin to wonder...will we ever be able to change someone’s life?

The answer is: no. We can’t. And the more we try in our own strength, the more we will see our glaring inability to help anyone - truly help them - in the ways they most need.

However, there is hope! And it is such a sweet truth that can relieve such a great weight of inadequacy off of our shoulders. The truth is this: Only God can change lives. But He offers His power freely to all who ask (Luke 11:13), so that, when we are willing, His power can actually flow through us, and work through us in ways that we would be unable to accomplish any other way. We were made with a “driver’s seat” in our souls, so to speak.

And we can have one of 3 “chauffeurs”: Either our flesh, the devil, or the Holy Spirit. For most of us, our flesh prefers that spot, and much of what we do and say comes from our sin nature, and our weak fleshly thoughts and desires. And when we come across someone who is weighed down by heavy burdens, our flesh is just a scrawny, weak little thing, and just doesn’t have the power to help.

In fact, if we don’t carefully rein it in, our flesh can actually end up adding 21

burdens to the poor, already weighed down person instead of helping them to be free! However, when we are “putting to death the deeds of the flesh”, and we call upon Jesus to fill us with His strength and power to change lives, and we ask Him to guide and control our words and thoughts and actions, we are kicking our flesh out of the drivers’ seat and letting the Holy Spirit take control...and we essentially must humble ourselves and become willing tools for His use, letting Him “drive” wherever He wants. When we ask God to fill us and take control and to fill us with the power of His might...

He will. And it is amazing how He can bring forth great fruitfulness from situations that seemed questionable, and how He can fill us with strength when we have none, and how He can speak through us to someone’s heart in exactly the ways that they need... and it doesn’t matter if we know the person, and it doesn’t matter if we feel excited, and it doesn’t matter if we are tired, and it doesn’t matter if we don’t know all the right verses that apply to a situation, and it doesn’t matter if we don’t feel bold or don’t know what to say. It doesn’t matter because, we can cast ourselves entirely on Christ’s strength and power, and in the moment that we need it, the wisdom, the understanding, the strength, will all be there. “...do not be anxious about how you should defend yourself or what you should say, for the Holy Spirit will 22

teach you in that very hour what you ought to say.” Luke 12:11b-12

When God spoke these truths to my own heart, I felt such a new freedom to serve Him however and whenever He called me to...because it is no longer dependent on me feeling “prepared” or spiritual enough (though always being prepared, by spending as much time in His presence as possible is invaluable). All that we do comes straight from HIS power, and not our own striving. And when I feel totally inadequate and weak, “His power is made perfect in my weakness” (2 Corinthians 12:9a), because He gets all of the glory for the miracle of bringing forth fruit in spite of my weaknesses, and for using me in the ways that I thought were impossible, and for overcoming my areas of weakness with His great power and the help and encouragement of His Holy Spirit. It is such a wonderful mercy! And it causes me much rejoicing, because it is so sweet for God to still use us in spite of all of our weaknesses and failings... and not just to use us, but if we are willing, He will actually be able to rescue many through the use of our lives.

“Have you ever been driven to do something for God not because you felt that it was useful or your duty to do so, or that there was anything in it for you, but simply because you love Him? Have you ever realized that you can give things to God that are of value to Him? Or are you just sitting around daydreaming about the greatness of His redemption, while neglecting all the things you could be doing for Him? I’m not referring to works which could be regarded as divine and miraculous, but ordinary, simple human things— things which would be evidence to God that you are totally surrendered to Him.” ~ Oswald Chambers 23

Contact Tai Sophia at: UnshakableGirls@gmail.com