Tallahassee Woman Magazine June-July 2021 by Tallahassee Woman Magazine

JUNE / JULY 2021

Paula DeBoles-Johnson HAPPINESS TAKES COURAGE

GOLDEN GALA XXXVII IS BACK! SEPTEMBER 16, 2021

After several postponements due to COVID-19, we are

Grammy nominated OneRepublic. Golden Gala XXXVII

thrilled to bring Tallahassee’s premier black-tie event

benefits the Walker Breast Program at TMH.

back on Thursday, September 16, 2021. Hosted by the Tallahassee Memorial HealthCare (TMH) Foundation, The Golden Gala supports the TMH mission of transforming care, advancing health and improving lives. Enjoy an evening of good company, dinner and entertainment by

Sponsorship opportunities are available. 100% of all sponsorships will support the Walker Breast Program. Contact Nigel Allen, President and Chief Advancement Officer, 850-431-5752.

PURCHASE YOUR TABLE AT TMH.ORG/GALA.

CAREER. FAMILY. VACATION. YOU PLAN THEM ALL. BUT DO YOU HAVE A PLAN IF YOU FIND A LUMP >

WE DO.

We see you. Always planning and preparing for your future. But one thing you may not have a plan for is fighting breast cancer. The region’s most comprehensive program for cancer treatment, from diagnosis to recovery, can be your navigator. Tallahassee Memorial’s Walker Breast Program is a multidisciplinary, streamlined plan of care bringing you and expert physicians together. That’s how we quickly and aggressively fight your breast cancer: with a plan created just for you.

Learn more at TMH.ORG/Plan

1O 12

LETTER FROM PUBLISHER LETTER FROM GUEST EDITOR

TRENDS

Fashion: Summer Swimwear Inspiring Reads: Summer Reads Tech: Microsoft One Note

24LIVING LOCAL Aroun Town: TWM 15th Anniversary Event Haute Happenings: Local & Virtual Events We Elevate: Meet Amy Lowe Community: United Way of the Big Bend 23rd Annual Golf Classic Community: Institute for Nonprofit Innovation and Excellence (INIE)

CONTENTS

Contents

TRAVEL

Girls Getaway: St, Augustine Madame Xhales in Chattanooga, Tennessee

40 BUSINESS

Business: Understanding How Emotional Health Can Influence Financial Decisions Business: 6 Tips for Asking Thoughtfully & Effectively WorkLife: Improving Your Communication WWMB: 2021 Women on Fire Winners & Nominees Legal Writes: From the Desk of Dana Brooks Mindset: 10 Ways to Practice Mindfulness

WELLNESS

Healthy Living: Bike Riding

FOOD

The Dish: Grilled Watermelon

On the Cover Paula DeBoles-Johnson

tallahassee woman | 4 | june • july 2021

Lisa Askins Synovus Securities, Inc.

Shannikia Bethea Varsity Plaza Branch

Tina Darnell Killearn Branch

Cindy James Capital Circle Branch

Semico Paul Capital Circle Branch

Marshelle Sanders Killearn Branch

Cathy Warren Synovus Trust Company, N.A.

Chattie Winton Commercial Banking

The strength of a team with a single focus — you. In today’s busy world, your financial needs can be complex and ever-changing. It takes more than an individual to meet those needs. It takes a team. At Synovus, we have a team of professionals with the expertise and resources you need. We work together with a single focus – helping you reach toward your financial goals.

1-888-SYNOVUS (796-6887) synovus.com Loan products subject to credit approval. Banking products are provided by Synovus Bank, Member FDIC. Investment products and services provided by Synovus are offered through Synovus Securities, Inc. (“SSI”), Synovus Trust Company, N.A. (“STC”), GLOBALT, a separately identifiable division of STC and Creative Financial Group, a division of SSI. Trust services are provided by Synovus Trust Company, N.A. The registered broker-dealer offering brokerage products for Synovus is Synovus Securities, Inc, member FINRA/SIPC and an SEC Registered Investment Advisor. SSI is a subsidiary of Synovus Financial Corp. and an affiliate of Synovus Bank and STC, and STC is a subsidiary of Synovus Bank.

Tallahassee

WOM A N

MAGAZINE

June-July 2021 • Volume 16 • Issue 3

PUBLISHER Dr. Michelle Mitcham EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Tavia Rahki CREATIVE DIRECTOR Olivia Heyward RELATIONSHIP ASSOCIATE Breanna Rittman DIRECTOR OF MULTIMEDIA Cristina Carter INTERNS Lilly Simons Sofia Jimenez Amber White

CREATIVE CONSULTANT Briana Smith DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS Marcia Warfel DIRECTOR OF LEADERSHIP INITIATIVES Paula DeBoles-Johnson DIRECTOR OF LUXURY TRAVEL Regina Lynch Hudson

ADVERTISING For information on advertising, visit talwoman.com, call (850) 893-9624, or e-mail ads@TalWoman.com.

TALLAHASSEE WOMAN is a publication of Mitcham Media Group LLC Post Office Box 16616 | Tallahassee, FL 32317-3401 Phone (850) 893-9624 | Fax (850) 254-7038 | info@TalWoman.com Tallahassee Woman is published six times per year and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout Tallahassee and the surrounding communities.

TALWOMAN.COM The information in this publication is presented in good faith. The publisher does not guarantee accuracy or assume responsibility for errors or omissions. Copyright © 2021 Mitcham Media Group LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, without expressed written consent of the Publisher is prohibited.

tallahassee woman | 6 | june • july 2021

Advertise with us!

Visit TALWOMAN.COM to Download our 2021 Media Kit or Email Ads@Talwoman.com to advertise with us. tallahassee woman | 7 | june • july 2021

CONTRIBUTORS

Contributors

KIRA DERRYBERRY PHOTOGRAPHER LISA BROWN Kira Derryberry is WRITER ALYCE LEE a Tallahassee-based Lisa Brown has a STANSBURY portrait photographer FELINA MARTIN Masters in Business WRITER specializing in families, WRITER Administration. She Alyce Lee Stansbury, headshots and boudoir Felina Martin serves as started her credit union CFRE, President of and commercial the Executive Director career in 1993 and has Stansbury Consulting, of the Institute for photography. She books held various roles. She is is a 30-year fundraising Nonprofit Innovation and CEO of Tallahassee-Leon Excellence, affectionately veteran, nonprofit expert, locally in Tallahassee and is available for Federal Credit Union known as INIE. She leads speaker, and columnist. travel worldwide. View since 2010. She sat on a passionate team of staff She was a 2014 finalist Kira’s portfolio online at the City of Tallahassee’s and interns in impacting for the Women Who kiraderryberry.com. Citizen Advisory Board the sustainability of Mean Busines Awards. for Utilities for three years over 150 nonprofit StansburyConsulting.com and was the Treasurer for organizations through Ladies Learning to Lead. education, collaboration, and advocacy.

DR. GABRIELLE K. GABRIELLI DR. ANDREA FRIALL WRITER WRITER Dr. Gabrielle K. CRISTINA CARTER Andrea Friall is a daughter, Gabrielli is a leadership REGINA LYNCHWRITER sister, aunt, cousin, wife, coach, speaker, and HUDSON Cristina Carter, mother, physician, friend trainer. She owns a WRITER Tallahassee native, and lover of life. It is consulting business Veteran publicist fluent in Spanish her mission to heal with and luxury lifestyle Teaches Multicultural kindness and courage and and runs a Leadership experience-aholic, to uplift and support those Academy. She also heads Dimensions of Film a nonprofit organization Regina Lynch-Hudson, with a similar purpose. and 20th Century to benefit people with Culture at Florida State pens MadameXhales, disabilities including slated towards the University. She coveterans. In her spare vintage of woman that directed/ co-produced time, she fosters enjoys more time to the documentary, "Las animals, scuba dives, travel.MadameXhales Chicas" about a group flies planes, runs, and explores destinations, of classy local Latinas cycles. cruises, resorts, spas and who find sisterhood and community in the south. extracurricular activities. tallahassee woman | 8 | june • july 2021

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“

From the

PUBLISHER

“In early June the world of leaf and blade and flowers explodes, and every sunset is different.”

~John Steinbeck

ummer is here! For me, there is so much excitement and anticipation about summer that starts building probably in late March or April. I have fond memories of hot summer fun in Michigan with my family going to spend time on Lake Erie, swimming and fishing, and of course barbeque cookouts. For me, it is my birthday month which is always fun! This is a magical season full of fun, friends, swimsuits, sunshine, travel and adventure. The explosion of possibility – dreams to be fulfilled. What do you love about summer in the South? I love the opportunity to enjoy long walks, bike rides, the beach and girlfriend get togethers. Summer is family time, summer camps for the kids and getaways. In this issue, we focus on summer fun, good reads and ideas for getting away. Check out highlights of the recent Tallahassee Woman Magazine’s 15th Anniversary Celebration at Hearth and Soul! Gracing the cover, is the dynamic and daring Paula DeBoles-Johnson, an extraordinary woman with an extraordinary story of courage, written by our esteemed guest editor, Shelly Gomez. I know that Paula’s story will inspire you to be your best and never stop dreaming. I had the honor of meeting Paula years ago when we served on the Tallahassee Leon County Commission on the Status of Women and Girls. I was so impressed with her servant heart and unparalleled dedication to community service and advocacy for women and girls. In this issue, meet the winners and finalists of the 2021 Women Who Mean Business Awards. By all accounts, every single woman is a winner as they dedicate their time and talent to making Tallahassee the best community ever! We are honored to be Tallahassee’s award winning magazine for women, by women and about women.

ENJOY THE SUMMER SUNSHINE! Optimistically yours,

Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography

tallahassee woman | 10 | june • july 2021

YOUR HOME SHOULD BE A JOYFUL AND INSPIRING SPACE NOW

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TALLAHASSEE SOLAR

Photo by Jennifer Powell Photography

guest EDITOR

“

Paula lit up whatever room she entered. Her booming voice and everybody-gets-to-play attitude made us all pay attention and feel seen.

first met Paula four years ago, when she served as Chair of the Tallahassee-Leon County Commission on the Status of Women and Girls and I was a new executive director for a local nonprofit. A commanding and friendly presence, Paula lit up whatever room she entered. Her booming voice and everybody-gets-to-play attitude made us all pay attention and feel seen. I haven’t met many people before or since with such an ability to hold space for resolution, for mutual support, for moving forward, together. When Paula was selected as a recipient of the Trailblazer Award in 2018, she and I sat down so I could learn more about her and write a feature article, as I did for each Trailblazer that year. I looked forward to the conversation because I knew it would be juicy, since Paula is not one to hold back her opinions. Indeed, that story wrote itself. I hung on every word, enthralled by her authenticity, her fearlessness, her insistence on helping people because we should. So much has changed for everyone since that first interview. I think of the poem, Invictus; I look out across our community, and see our heads bloodied but unbowed. Paula is that

spirit. Talking with her for this article, it is clear her head is still held high and her vision is fixed on the future. In a world where liking yourself is an act of bravery, just being in Paula’s company encourages self-acceptance because she is so strongly herself. Though her hope might have wavered, like it has for many, though there are many reasons to feel sorrow and worry, Paula remains willing to ask the hard questions. Then stand in there and work toward the tough answers that create the most good for the most people. Some of these hard questions echo from my recent talk with her. What if we could change the world by caring about each other? Are we brave enough? What if caring about each other is the only way the world changes? I share her sentiment that it is time for women leaders to chart a new course. That our superpowers lie in the care we can cultivate for ourselves and each other. I hope you enjoy seeing deeper into the person Paula is, and sitting in the glow of her light, as much as I do.

Shelly Gomez

Shelly Gomez is a native of Tallahassee who delights in supporting positive change. She writes, teaches, and organizes, encouraging individual growth and community cohesion through heart-centered leadership.

Welcome, Catrina. Catrina’s experience in the financial services industry has allowed her to focus on personal, business and retirement planning. She has developed a detail-oriented approach to investments and advisory services with an emphasis on client service. Call Catrina today to schedule your no-obligation financial plan review.

Catrina Stith Financial Advisor, LPL catrina.stith@lpl.com 850.402.8043

www.capitalcityinvestments.com

Securities and advisory services are offered through LPL Financial (LPL), a registered investment advisor and broker-dealer (member FINRA/SIPC). Insurance products are offered through LPL or its licensed affiliates. Capital City Bank and Capital City Investments are not registered as a broker-dealer or investment advisor. Registered representatives of LPL offer products and services using Capital City Investments, and may also be employees of Capital City Bank. These products and services are being offered through LPL or its affiliates, which are separate entities from, and not affiliates of, Capital City Bank or Capital City Investments. Securities and insurance offered through LPL or its affiliates are: Not Insured by FDIC or Any Federal Government Agency · Not Bank Guaranteed Not Bank Deposits or Obligations · May Lose Value

Trends TRENDS

Feel Confident and Sexy

Flatter and Enhance tallahassee woman | 14 | june • july 2021

MI A MI o t e om Welc

- VIA TALLY By Sofia Jimenez

“Party in the city where the heat is on all night on the beach till the break of dawn ‘Welcome to Miami’”, via Tally! Perhaps you could take a girl's trip to Saint George Island to escape the anxiety of the pandemic, or maybe you could ditch the zoom calls and replace them with a road trip to St. Augustine. Regardless, with sunshine and cool breezes upon the horizon and “hot girl summer” on everyone’s minds, it is high time to strut down the beach in a bathing suit that makes you feel like the queen you are. With fashion from the 90's circling back, it is no secret what the primary themes for this summer are: a retro, yet body-positive fusion. Websites such as Nada Manley and Surf and Sunshine are great resources for finding bathing suits that will flatter and enhance your natural body shape, while also taking into consideration current trends. Remember, this summer is all about finding a swimsuit that not only makes you feel confident and sexy, but one that encourages you to embrace whatever imperfections you feel you may have because believe it or not, your imperfections are what make you most beautiful.

tallahassee woman | 15 | june • july 2021

Trends |

Inspiring Reads

Books

BY TWM STAFF

MIRROR, MIRROR: WHAT REFLECTION DO YOU SEE?

We live in a time when self-awareness, internal biases, beliefs, and stereotypes drive our thoughts, communications, and behaviors. Mirror, Mirror: What Reflection Do You See is a relevant and pertinent guide to help the reader navigate this transformative process. Described by reviewers as authentic, timely, and relevant, it is a must-read to realize a gratifying personal transformation. Through vivid stories and personal experiences, the author guides the reader in transitioning from a life of being on auto-pilot to a life fueled by being more consciously aware. She enables the reader to both identify and address the self-limiting behaviors that get in the way of reflecting who God has created us to be. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Dr. Adriene Wright is a Consultant, Thought Leader, Certified Life Coach, Author, and Speaker. She is the Founder and President of Abelita, LLC a consulting firm advancing strategic initiatives that help in Transforming People, Organizations, & Communities.

OWN YOUR FIRE Ely Rosario’s Own Your Fire chronicles the wisdom of her youth, motherhood, graduate school, a successful career, and the difficulties of her decade-long marriage to an alcoholic. With “determination, grit, and self-motivation,” Rosario has risen above her tribulations and achieved success as a speaker, marathon and Ironman finisher, business woman, and mother. Utilizing humor, direct speech, and experience from her life, Rosario guides others on a journey of self-development and liberation. It is in her words that you will find the strength to reclaim your life and Own Your Fire. ABOUT THE AUTHOR: Ely Rosario has a Masters of Business Administration from Colorado State University and an undergraduate degree from Florida State University in Communications with Business. She has spent the last 15 years as second in command at Jackson Properties and Financial Services, a pioneer and local company owned by Erwin Jackson Ph.D, dedicated to serving the college students in our community.

tallahassee woman | 16 | june • july 2021

Trends |

fashion trends

MAGIC TIKTOK LEGGINGS By Amber White

nless you’ve been living under a rock these past few months, you’ve definitely heard of the popular TikTok gym leggings. Popularized by TikTok users from all over the globe, these high waisted leggings have a scrunchy, honeycomb texture that have curve enhancing and confidence boosting effects! The original leggings were from American Eagle, but after inevitably selling out in less than a day, companies like Walmart and Amazon started selling them as well. In case you didn’t know, TikTok is the best place to find all of the things you didn’t know you needed. From makeup products to new fashion trends TikTok is definitely the place to stay in touch with your youthful side and maybe even learn something new!

Courageous Conversations

Need coaching or counseling? Teletherapy with Dr. Michelle Mitcham, LMHC of Courageous Conversations as seen on www.PsychologyToday.com Online counseling and coaching via audio or video messaging from anywhere. Flexible plans to meet your scheduling needs and lifestyle. Confidential and Secure. Discounted rates available.

CALL FOR FREE PHONE CONSULTATION - (850) 888-8945 tallahassee woman | 17 | june • july 2021

Trends |

TECH

Let Microsoft OneNote Be Your Digital Genie By Cristina Carter

id you ever wish you had a digital genie that could organize stakeholders, receipts, and research articles for you? If your life is anything like mine, you need a one stop digital stop for all of your personal and business information. Thankfully, Microsoft OneNote is a digital note taking cloud-based service that makes your phone start to look like a genie lamp the more that it is used. Think of OneNote as your virtual notebook. Use it as a personal journal to sketch or jot ideas down in or a handy real time family shared grocery list that’s easy to update. OneNote does it all while its cloud-based service makes digital note taking easy and fun. Add pictures, record audio, store files, and even collaborate with family and colleagues in real time. OneNote enables users to create multiple “notebooks” where they can write down, store, and create ideas syncing them together simultaneously across all devices whether it be your phone, tablet, or computer. The best part? You can share notes with family, friends, colleagues, or anyone in your network instantly.

Organize notes using tabs, labels, and colors. Copy pages, sections, tabs, and create new ones as you please. See an image you like on Instagram? Store it to your Instagram notebook under the inspirational quotes tab color coded in red. Aren’t sure if you remember what kind of spice is used for the recipe you’ve been wanting to try? No worries, you stored it last week while on the phone with your mom so you wouldn’t forget. It’s in the recipe notebook coded in purple under the tab titled oh so cleverly “mom’s recipes”. I use OneNote all the time. Technically, you can use it and take digital notes anywhere in the world at any time as long as you have internet access with its versatile mobile app. Using a qualifying SharePoint Online or Office 365 cloud-based subscription service to login to OneNote users can freely store files, recordings, pictures, scans, drawings, receipts, and anything else you put your sweet little organized mind to. Before long you will forget you ever needed a digital genie to begin with.

tallahassee woman | 18 | june • july 2021

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tallahassee woman | 19 | june • july 2021

HAUTE

Local LIVING Living LOCAL

happenings Goat Yoga at Goat House Farm June 12, 2021 10:00 AM – 11:00 AM Location: Goat House Farm 17870 Larkin Court West Tallahassee, FL 32310

In the mood for a restorative yoga flow, the healing outdoors...and quality time with some furry friends? Goat House Farm welcomes you to their farm! Join Certified Yoga Instructor Crystal and a plethora of “sweet and playful” goat yogis for a beginner-friendly flow in a beautiful outdoor setting, a morning of mindful movement and adorable animals! Ages 13+ can sign up at eventbrite.com

Florida Animation Festival

Jun 10-13, 2021 12:00 am - 11:55 pm Location: TBD The 6th annual Florida Animation Festival returns to Tallahassee to showcase the magic in the art of animation, celebrate a bounty of animated films, and highlight both regional and global animation talent. A multi-day event, the festival aims to cultivate a collaborative, communal environment of patrons, artists, and filmmakers, aligned together by a shared passion for animation Visit floridaanimationfestival.com for more information.

Veronica Swift Presented By FSU Opening Nights

June 10, 2021 7:30 PM Location: The Moon, 1105 E Lafayette St Are you a devout jazz listener or passionate music lover? Join FSU Opening Nights at The Moon for a performance by Veronica Swift, a world-renowned jazz talent who has toured and performed on a multitude of occasions with Michael Feinstein, Benny Green, Wynton Marsalis and the Jazz at Lincoln Center Orchestra.

Purchase your tickets at tickets.openingnights.fsu.edu

Tri-state Juried Watermedia Exhibition

May 21 – July 24, 2021 Location: LeMoyne Arts 125 N. Gadsden St Tallahassee FL 32301 Come and savor a magnificent exhibition of watercolor paintings! The Tallahassee Watercolor Society will host its Tri-State Juried Water Media Exhibition from May 21 – July 24, 2021 at LeMoyne Arts.

First Friday Railroad Square Return June 4, 2021 Location: Railroad Square Art District, 618 McDonnell Dr.

Have you missed the monthly festivities of Railroad Square’s First Friday celebration? The wait is over: the popular First Friday festival is returning to Tallahassee on June 4 for a vibrant experience with open galleries/shops, live music, and food.

Grease at Young Actors Theater June 25- July 10, 2021 Location: 609 Glenview Drive

Support the local theater arts community and take a trip back in time with your attendance of the Young Actors Theatre’s 2021 Summer Main Stage production, GREASE. Live performances run from June 25 to July 10, 2021. Learn more at youngactorstheatre.com/grease.html

Spotlight on Dance: Pas de Vie Ballet

June 11- 12, 2021 Location: Turner Auditorium, TCC, 444 Appleyard Drive

tallahassee woman | 20 | june • july 2021

Put your ballet shoes on...it’s time to celebrate the art of dance! Support the local dance community by joining Pas de Vie Ballet for their Spotlight on Dance performance at the Turner Auditorium at Tallahassee Community College. Pas de Vie Ballet is “dedicated to the preservation of the art of dance through the education and inspiration of today’s youth. Meaning “step of life,” Pas de Vie Ballet celebrates the beauty and wonder of ballet.” Learn more and purchase your tickets at pasdevieballet.com.

Summerbrooke Golf Club: Ladies Night at the Range

July 2, 2021 Time: 5-9 p.m Location: Summerbrooke Golf Club, 7505 Preservation Rd Grab your girl group and golf shoes! Summerbrooke Golf Club invites you to Ladies Night for an evening of relaxation featuring BOGO Glass of Wine, Free Small Buckets of Golf Balls, and Free 10 Minute Golf Lessons. Learn more at theclubatsummerbrooke.com

Jubilee Orchards' 2021 Blueberry U-Pick Through June

Hours: Tuesday - Friday: 4-7pm; Saturday: 8 - 5pm; Sunday: 1 - 5pm; Monday: Closed Location: 12008 Miccosukee Road Looking for an outlet to score some succulent local summer produce? Put your farm clothes on and head to Jubilee Orchards to support local growers and pick your own delectable blueberries: it’s the season to get back to nature!

Hospice is about Living. Hospice care focuses on the whole person - providing physical, emotional, psycho-social, and spiritual support. This allows the patient to live life to the fullest - on their terms.

We inspire hope by positively impacting the way our community experiences serious illness or grief - one family at a time. BIG BEND HOSPICE | (850) 878-5310 | WWW.BIGBENDHOSPICE.ORG tallahassee woman | 21 | june • july 2021

Living Local |

WE ELEVATE

WE Elevate

MeetAmyLowe

By Dr. Andrea Friall

he Tallahassee community and the Ballet Arts Conservatory of Tallahassee have long benefited from the artistry and direction of Mrs. Lowe, passionately known to her students as “Miss Amy”. She has served on FSU’s Friends of Dance for years and as their President for multiple terms. She incorporates high quality instructors from FSU’s prestigious dance program into her school. She established the Mary Kathryn Smith Young Memorial Scholarship which funds the dancers’ ex-

periences and therefore provides support to those who might not be able to afford the opportunity to dance. To say “ballet changes lives”, a part of the school’s motto, does not fully encompass what Miss Amy and her studio has instilled in her dancers and their families. Like many, we handed over our child to Amy at the early age of 3. She expected all the things parents want from their children...dedication, hard work, and respect

tallahassee woman | 22 | june • july 2021

for others. In my mind, an exceptional teacher fosters the positive attributes each student has and encourages them to flourish. She cultivates an environment where youth, in their most vulnerable of states, can feel at home and be themselves. I, as many other parents, are so grateful to have found Amy. With the onset of the pandemic, the performing arts truly faced a challenge. There is only so much that can happen

over zoom...so we thought! As a performance ballet company, we needed a “stage”. We reached out to those who in the past had allowed us use of their auditoriums but nothing was available. The arts have had to be completely reimagined as have many other activities. It was the 20th Anniversary Season of Ballet Arts Conservatory of Tallahassee & Company Etudes Youth Ensemble Ballet where inspired storytelling, magical productions, and un-compromised artistry lives. We invited the community to support us in the holiday season as a partner in the arts and wanted to allow the community to experience the magic and beauty of classical ballet as presented by the area’s only pre-professional all youth ballet company. Under the direction of Amy Lowe, the studio opened the fall of 2020 reimagined with virtual and in person classes. Dedicated to safely continue classes, with the guidance of the CDC for safe activity practices during the pandemic, Amy’s studio did not let our youth, families or community down. She continued to offer a safe environment for the youth to dance. Committed to the concept that “the show must go on,” it meant more this past season than perhaps any other. A beloved dancer of the studio was critically injured in a motor vehicle crash literally the weekend the coveted cast list for the Nutcracker Reimagined came out. The studio and community were all pulling for her recovery. Doctors and therapists noted her physicality as one of the reasons they expected her to recover well. And the show happened the weekend the dancer was released from the hospital! Not a dry eye among our dance family! The company performed the Nutcracker

in a truly reimagined form with a window scene atmosphere, streaming, as well as an indoor/outdoor modified setting with most importantly...our entire cast present. But beyond thinking of the show, Amy wanted to make sure she could develop a program to get our sweet dancer back on her toes! Getting back into the studio with Amy has been a driving force of her recovery. She worked with her individually and this spring she was back with us on stage for our Tutu’s and Tailgates performance! She will also be with us for the ball in the late spring production of Cinderella. That is just an example of how much these students love Amy and how much she loves them. While many are addressing and having conversations about where diversity, equity and inclusion fit into their world, Amy’s studio reflects it in action. It has lived there and has been since she opened her doors over 20 years ago. The quote by Alonzo King on her Facebook page states it best, “Dance training can’t be separate from life training. Everything that comes into our lives is training. The qualities we admire in great dancing are the same qualities we admire in human beings: honesty, courage, fearlessness, generosity, wisdom, depth, compassion, and humanity. “ What our children and families learned from being a part of this ballet studio has remained consistent with the values taught from the moment you step foot into her studio...dedication, hard work, respect for yourself and others at all times. It is always about being the best human being, as Amy models every day.

tallahassee woman | 23 | june • july 2021

AMY LOWE

Living Local |

around town

AROUND TOWN 1

he 15th Anniversary Celebration was hosted by Hearth & Soul on May 20th with cover women Susie Lisa Davis, Quia Atkinson, Carrie Zimmerman, Marsha Doll, Andrea Friall, Jane Marks, Diane McCain, Josie Tamayo and Patricia McCray. What an honor and a privilege to celebrate women and share their wonderful stories through TWM. Thank you to all who read and support our magazine. Tallahassee

tallahassee woman | 24 | june • july 2021

Woman Magazine’s 15th Anniversary celebration was filled with sisterhood, laughter, testimonials and so much fun! As times change and life continues, one thing will remain the same...women are a force of nature filled with power, grace and love and TWM honors these women. Cheers to that, and to many more years to come! Thanks to all the advertisers that support women and the mission of TWM.

great COFFEE

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Images from left to right 1. Carrie Zimmerman, Susie Transou, Dr. Michelle Mitcham, Lisa Davis, Marsha Doll, Quia Atkinson, Diane McCain

Dr. Michelle Mitcham,Kira DerryBerry, Quia Atkinson, Josie Tamayo, Marcia Warfel

2. Olivia Heyward, Susie Transou, Dr. Michelle Mitcham, Quia Atkinson, Heather Thomas

8. Hearth & Soul

3. Marsha Doll, Dr. Michelle Mitcham, Carrie Zimmerman, Kira Derryberry, Heather Thomas, Josie Tamayo, Lisa Davis, Susie Transou 4. Chantal English Miller, Zana Joiner 5. Jane Marks, Marcia Warfel, Secretary of State Laurel Lee, Dr. Michelle Mitcham, Lisa Davis, Quia Atkinson 6. Carrie Zimmerman, Diane McCain, Dr. Andrea Friall, Lisa Davis, Marsha Doll, Cristina Carter, Jane Marks, Olivia Heyward,

7. Tanya Evans, Mickey Moore

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tallahassee woman | 25 | june • july 2021

ON T H E C OV E R

Happiness

TAKES COURAGE

PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | MAKEUP: LISA DAVIS | NAILS: IMAGE NAIL SALON | CLOTHING: PRIVATE COLLECTION | ACCESSORIES: NARCISSUS

a l u a P

DEBOLES-JOHNSON

By Shelly Gomez | Photography By Kira DerryBerry

aula DeBoles-Johnson will say that she is an ordinary woman living an ordinary life. Still, the way her smile lights up a room feels special. She has a talent for making the people feel special too. It may be that everyone lives through heartbreak, struggles to be understood, is changed by injustice. If we let it, our humanity binds us. That fundamental connection is Paula’s guiding principle. Women in Tallahassee or her hometown of Orlando might find familiarity in the details of Paula’s life, whether memories of being a latch-key kid, facing bullies, making a lot from a little. But the attributes she developed in response to adversity – the personal sovereignty, courageous optimism, wide-open heart – are nothing short of extraordinary.

BRAVE ENOUGH

Self-acceptance, a treasure often elusive for women, found Paula early. Raised as the only child of a nurse who worked long hours, she learned to be comfortable on her own. Her mother’s rule was “in the house, door locked, no visitors,” a way to protect her daughter while away on shifts that ended near midnight. Paula had school-age cousins who lived nearby. But because she lived on a different street, she was bussed across town and was on her own at school too. “There are things you learn early when you have a lot of alone time,” said Paula. “You learn to be resilient. You learn to be brave. You learn to stand up for yourself.” Even as a young child, Paula resisted peer pressure. She didn’t strive to be a cool kid. She was different and she liked herself. But by herself, she was vulnerable, an easy target. A boy who would become a professional fighter tormented her relentlessly. One day, riding home on the school bus, she stood up to his pestering and told him to leave her alone. He responded with a hand to her face. When he hit her, her glasses flew out the open bus window. Scared to meet her mother barefaced and unable to see well, Paula explained what happened when she got home. Angry about the bullying and the glasses, her mother set out after both. She and Paula searched along the busy Orlando street. And found them. The glasses were in the median, untouched. Paula remembers thinking, God loves me. Then they headed for the boy’s home. From her mother’s tiny, fierce body, one sentence came: You’re going to keep your hands off my child. Facing her fears became a matter of course. And though the bullying didn’t stop for long, Paula’s sense of self, and bravery in

defending it, continued to get stronger. Despite the social difficulty in school, self-acceptance is Paula’s favorite thing about herself. She has noticed that being comfortable in her own skin invites others to do the same, to expose and enjoy their authenticity. She believes that life works itself out when you know who you are. And that women and girls need the encouragement to be confident, to like themselves. A self-proclaimed “weird kid” who liked comic books and punk rock, Paula was determined to change the narrative that society was creating for her. As the child of a single, Black woman, she was supposed to fail. She was smart and did well in high school, but she was having trouble with algebra. Sitting in the principal’s office, she heard him say she would not make it. The air left her lungs and her chin dropped to her chest. He declared that she probably wouldn’t go to college, wouldn’t go anywhere, wouldn’t be able to make much of herself. Every cell in her body screamed and her heart hurt. She felt she had let her mother down. But her mother hadn’t heard it. Paula’s mother stood up, her small frame growing before the short-sighted man and said, “No. That will not be true. She can do whatever she wants to do.” She wanted to get out of Orlando. She wanted to prove people wrong. But she also wanted to prove to herself that she could do it, that she was more than they thought. She wanted to write her own story. So she worked at it, passed algebra and the rest of her classes, and planned her exit strategy.

DREAMS TAKE SHAPE

While her ideas about what she would do and who she would be were still forming, Paula was becoming clear on what she did not want. She watched friends succumb to drugs or pregnancy, girls who could no longer go to school, who were receiving acceptance letters to college but had to take care of babies instead. She saw mistreatment of women, verbal and physical abuse, and knew what she would not allow. She pushed against her mother’s severe restrictions, even as they kept her apart from the outcomes she wanted to avoid. Paula strained to stretch her wings and found comfort in family members who stepped in to remind her to hang on just a little longer. Their support helped her focus on the light at the end of the tunnel. Experiencing the importance of a positive, non-parental influence became the foundation for the mentoring program Paula would establish more than a decade later, after graduating college and working with young people in the justice

tallahassee woman | 27 | june • july 2021

ON T H E C OV E R

system. Being that voice of encouragement for teenagers is still her passion today. “Until I can’t do it anymore, I’m going to keep trying to help people,” said Paula. “Keep making sure that our young people know they are loved. I’m going to make sure that I’m one of the people who tell them, ‘All you have to do is make it one more year. I need you to hold on.’” Her father, a fireman, gave his ex-wife a wide berth, but was always there for his daughter when she needed him. Paula had been waiting so long for this moment. Standing beside her father’s car on FAMU’s campus, she wasn’t sure she wanted to stay. After unpacking her things, he squeezed her nervous hands and said, “If you don’t like it after the semester is over, I will bring you home.” It didn’t take long for Paula to find her way. Again, she gathered the courage to stand up, not only for herself but also for other women. Stepping between her friends and the young men who were assaulting them nearly got her kicked out of school. She sat before the president of the university, her scholarship in jeopardy, asking how he expected her to just stand by and do nothing. With two degrees from FAMU, Political Science and a Master of Public Administration, Paula commanded respect in the professional spaces she occupied. Because she was clear about how she should be treated, and spoke to injustice where she found it, she created spaces that were safe for women everywhere she went. And she was unafraid to leave the places that proved toxic. “If it did not feed me something positive or wholesome, I didn’t want any part of it,” Paula said. “It was easy for me to walk away.” That degree of self-definition is rare. Especially when blended with a desire to help and make better, the ability to see a need and figure out how to fill it. When she looked around and saw that kids in Tallahassee were really struggling, roaming without guidance at a time when hasty decisions can cost lives, she gathered her girlfriends and started a solution. “Most of the young people I worked with were in trouble for stealing,” said Paula. “But they were stealing things that didn’t make sense for a kid to steal, like groceries. When you stop and ask why, you find out that they are trying to feed their siblings. A child’s whole life should not be turned upside down because they’re hungry.” The trio of friends, mothers themselves, focused on teenage girls, equipping

them with knowledge about their bodies, strengthening their minds and self-esteem, giving them hope and practical how-to in creating the futures they want. Paula sees herself in all of them, and the success stories are many. Paula’s home, as well as her work in the world, are beautiful examples of her devotion to faith, family, and a positive future. She and her husband of 28 years, David, a retired army captain and war veteran, have lovingly raised two daughters with sharp minds and huge hearts for service. Zemoria, a Doctor of Pharmacy, is also CEO of the family foundation that helps local high school students afford the college they want to attend. Her younger sister, Zenani, recent graduate of the University of West Florida where she served as the first African American student body president and student representative of the Florida Board of Governors, fights for the voiceless in policy and practice. Paula’s accolades and affiliations, just the surface of her considerable impact, stretch past the length of a page and across the nation.

HAPPINESS TAKES COURAGE

Looking back, though she always held fire in her belly, the mountains she moved were less by earthquake and more by steady stream. Not one big, life-changing event but many small moments shaped her success. Her parents said: Do right, be kind, tell the truth, and good things will happen for you. When that straight line became difficult, her mentors said: You can do this. Those words pulled her through, and now she shares them with others. “You have to take other people with you,” Paula said. “If we left everyone behind, we wouldn’t move forward.” Compassion is Paula’s secret to making a difference and living a life to be proud of. A sense of community, woven by the million little kindnesses we might extend to each other – the smile that could shift a person’s day, the time to listen when someone feels invisible – these are the things that change a life, that change the world. Toward the end of 2020, the pandemic, the political turmoil, the prevalent danger of living in dark skin, took their toll. Paula’s usually cheery disposition faded under the weight of so many lives ending without cause, without the concern we should have for each other. But you can’t keep a good woman down. “I refuse to stay down and be angry,” Paula said. “It takes so much energy. And it changes you. We should be peacekeepers. We should be looking for ways to extend the olive branch.” tallahassee woman | 28 | june • july 2021

Though some people and projects fell away, and she had to unplug from the news for a while, clarity about who she is and what she will tolerate is a familiar buoy for hard times. She credits her friends’ goofy jokes for sustaining her, the few women who reached out to say, “Even when you’re not yourself, I see you and I care.” That, Paula says, is our superpower. Caring, connecting, one on one. We can change what is in reach, and we can begin with ourselves, our families, our neighbors. She describes the past year as one of awakening on many levels. An opportunity to reset, return her focus to her family and her relationship with God. The recentering of perspective also restored faith in her purpose, to do good and make a difference. Not on a grand scale, but in a personal way. “Philanthropy would be my dream role,” said Paula. “I would love to meet people, hear their ideas about how they’re going to change the world, and give them money to do it.” Until she can do that, she says the answer is more women at the table. More women in decision making roles, supporting each other. Wherever there is a space a woman wants to be, Paula wants to see her there, offering her ideas, energy, and genius for the greater good. She believes women are the collaborators and problem solvers that are needed right now, inspiring others to action and changing the things that don’t work. Paula says women make good leaders because they consider what is good for everyone, but they often put other’s needs before their own. She is understanding now that taking care of herself is part of the work. As her close family got even closer this past year, the always-active mom noticed that she had unwittingly taught her daughters to be busy, to push themselves to the limit. She is spending time with them now unlearning habits that deplete them, learning instead to rest and restore so they can be their best selves and keep reaching back. An act of humanity that Paula considers an obligation. “We have looked for so many ways to divide ourselves when there is so much more that connects us,” said Paula. “We all want to be safe. We want a place to call our own. We want to feel useful. To be heard and seen. We want to be treated like we are human.” Perhaps the child of a nurse and a fireman would have to become a servant leader. It is certain that Paula is a woman you want in your corner. And it is likely she is already there.

“When women see other women walking in their truth, unafraid, unashamed, it gives them permission to be themselves.”

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United Way of the Big Bend 23rd Annual Golf Classic

eam Tallahassee Woman Magazine had a great time at the United Way of the Big Bend 23rd annual Golf Classic at the Capital City Country Club on May 24th to support their cause. UWBB is dedicated to lifting our neighbors out of poverty. Thanks for the leadership of Berneice Cox, and the UWBB team and all of the sponsors for a great event! Team TWM: Quia Atkinson, Dr. Michelle Mitcham, Heidi Otway and Marcia Warfel.

tallahassee woman | 30 | june • july 2021

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Institute for Nonprofit Innovation and Excellence (INIE) By Felina Martin

Tell me about you and your background?

I am a proud Air Force military brat. With both parents serving in the armed forces, I was fortunate to live in a few great places like Spain and Alaska. When my father was stationed at Eglin Air Force Base, outside of Ft. Walton Beach, Florida became home for the last 30 plus years. Along with ambitious parents, the experience of being a military dependent taught me independence as well as an appreciation for diverse cultures and sacrifice. In addition to being a military brat, I am an equally proud mother of an incredible 24-year-old son, a former entrepreneur for over 16 years, and divorcée. Being a proud divorcée may sound a little harsh to some, but the decision to leave a toxic marriage to respect and love myself was the most courageous thing that I have ever done.

Tell us about INIE’s mission and vision?

The mission of the Institute for Nonprofit Innovation and Excellence (INIE) is to strengthen the impact and capacity of the nonprofit sector through education, collaboration, and advocacy. As a nonprofit, we aspire to be the ultimate resource for other nonprofit organizations in the Big Bend Region. If a nonprofit needs anything, we are relentless in trying to provide or make referrals to meet those needs. Our services span from education programs to grant writing services to coworking

space. INIE envisions a vibrant nonprofit sector that is valued by the community for its innovation, leadership, accountability, and overall impact.

What inspires you to do this work?

I am inspired every day to meet the mission of INIE because of the impact that we have on the sustainability and growth of area nonprofits. If we help a nonprofit succeed, then that can mean more jobs, food, housing, and culture with less pollution, discrimination, and illness. INIE is fortunate to have the support of Tallahassee Community College that includes a 5,000 square feet multi-functional professional space at the TCC Center for Innovation. However, we are an independent organization from the college and face the same challenges as other nonprofits. While I am inspired by every nonprofit leader and aspiring nonprofit founder, I am equally inspired by the generosity of TCC and those who worked tirelessly to give life to INIE. I feel compelled to fulfill their vision of ensuring that every nonprofit has the resources they need to be a sustainable organization. When a nonprofit closes its doors, the entire community suffers a substantial loss. The Institute for Nonprofit Innovation and Excellence (INIE) is located at the TCC Center for Innovation, 300 West Pensacola Street, Tallahassee, Florida 32301. Phone: 850.201.9766 Website: myINIE.org

tallahassee woman | 32 | june • july 2021

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T R AV E L

BY CRISTINA CARTER

ocated three hours away St. Augustine is a place you can never get enough of. From bachelorette parties to mom and daughter fun, this is a must-have spot to add to your upcoming girl’s getaway list. Founded in 1565 St Augustine is the oldest continuously occupied city in the country. It also houses the oldest masonry fort, Castillo de San Marcos, oldest school, and oldest wax museum. You’ll feel you’re in Europe while strolling through the narrow streets of its historic district.

Photography by Thais Gonzalez

Start your journey by entering the historic district through the Old City Gates (once the only entrance to the city). Behind them, you will find a variety of shops, museums, and restaurants. Take a break by having a delicious meal at places like the Columbia, Pizza Time (2nd best pizza in the country in 2015), or A1A Ale Works. While you’re there, railroad tycoon Henry Flagler built resort-like hotels in the late 1800’s. Check out the Lightner Museum (previously Hotel Alcazar) to get a taste of some of his work. Dedicate an afternoon to the beaches of Anastasia park and go surfing, kayaking, or sunbathing. Don’t be surprised if you catch a glimpse of a whale in the distance. Wrap it all up by stopping at Isabela’s Bar Cuba off of Cuna Street and grab a signature Cuban Cafecito before shopping at a few (or more, no judgment) of the hundreds of outlet stores. Including stores like Coach, Nike, and Saks Fifth Avenue. St. Augustine has so much to offer culturally and visually we have a feeling you’ll be planning your next girls weekend getaway on your ride back to Tallahassee.

THE TOWN THAT WILL KEEP YOU COMING BACK, ST. AUGUSTINE tallahassee woman | 34 | june • july 2021

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“Although Dr. McCord's approach may be considered unconventional, it is incredibly effective. I initially saw him for chronic issues with my skin, bowels, acid-reflux and pain. After seeing so many doctors for so many years, I was amazed that pain relief was almost immediate! Upon further evaluation, Dr. McCord concluded that food sensitivities were contributing to my chronic bowel, acid-reflux and skin problems. At his direction, I began to change my diet and eliminated the offending foods identified. After more than 20 years of once to twice weekly bowel movements, I now have bowel movements daily, and the acid-reflux that I suffered nightly is gone. Also, much to my delight, I have seen gradual and significant improvement in my skin which has plagued me since I was a teenager. If you are dealing with chronic health issues, go see Dr. McCord, I think you'll be pleased." Mrs. G. Jefferson, Tallahassee, FL

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tallahassee woman | 35 | june • july 2021

T R AV E L F E AT U R E

in Chattanooga, Tennessee By Regina Lynch-Hudson Photography by Courtland Bivens III

Dubbed the Scenic City, Chattanooga is the ideal place to chill —in a carefree, casual city, celebrated for its natural backdrop.

Dubbed the Scenic City, Chattanooga is the ideal place to chill —in a carefree, casual city, celebrated for its natural backdrop. Tree-huggers step into an environment known for mountain hiking, rock climbing, camping, and a myriad of walking and biking trails. Kick off this experience with breathtaking views of iconic sights such as Lookout Mountain, or simply experience the eclectic eye-candy by trekking downtown Chattanooga—filled with historic landmarks and hidden gems, such as the Tennessee Aquarium, Walnut Street Bridge, Bluff View Art tallahassee woman | 36 | june • july 2021

District, The Tivoli Theatre, and the Tennessee River Walk— a pristine 13-mile riverside path which stretches from downtown to Chickamauga Dam. Gals, get out your walking boots! This “outdoorsy town” unfolds a front-row seat to Mother Nature’s splendor. Encircled by mountains and a river that glides through the heart of the city-core, Chattanooga earned its designation as “Best Town Ever” by Outside Magazine!

Chattanooga is internationally recognized due to Glenn Miller’s 1941 hit song "Chattanooga Choo Choo." Inspiration for the jazzy tune was a steam locomotive owned by the Cincinnati Southern Railway, but lyrics were reportedly penned by Mack Gordon and Harry Warren as they traveled onboard Southern Railway's Birmingham Special. Today, symbolic historic trains are the heavily photographed focal point of downtown, permanently displayed at Chattanooga's former Terminal Station. Once owned and operated by the Southern Railway, the station is now part of a 30-acre resort complex, comprised of the Chattanooga Choo Choo Hotel, and a number of vintage railway exhibits. While Chattanooga contains a multitude of exhilarating attractions, a visit to the choo choos and surrounding complex was especially thrilling for me, as an inspirational thinktank to mediate on ideas for museum exhibitions that commemorate my grandfather, George Winslow Whittington, a brave and courageous brakeman who devoted his life to railroading, his tenure spanning the transition from streampowered engines to diesel. As I hopped onboard a classic model train, I imagined Grandpa Winslow journeying along Glen Miller’s Chattanooga Choo Choo route, originating from New York’s Pennsylvania Station, then racing through Baltimore to North Carolina before arriving in Chattanooga.

tallahassee woman | 37 | june • july 2021

T R AV E L F E AT U R E The Choo Choo Hotel, aptly situated by the Chattanooga Choo Choo, is an elegant testament to historic preservation. In 1909, The Terminal Station was unveiled, becoming the first railway station in the South, designed in fabulous Beaux Arts motif. Guest quarters in the MacArthur building, titled in tribute to Southern Railway’s last steam-powered freight train, feature cosmopolitan and cozy room offerings. Historically-themed Pullman Train Car rooms transport you back to days gone by. The on-site Frothy Monkey café serves breakfastthrough-dinner fixings; along with specialty coffees, bakery goods, desserts and cocktails. The Choo Choo Hotel was added to the National Register of Historic Places in 1974. choochoohotel.com

There wasn’t the superficial bling diversion of Jimmy Choo— but there was the Chattanooga Jewelry Company, located in the complex housing the Chattanooga Choo Choo. There, I picked up a girly trinket or two. Chattanooga Jewelry Company customizes masterpieces to suit each customer. For the sentimental at heart, the company repurposes family treasures to create cherished heirlooms. chattanoogajewelrycompany.com/ jewelry-chattanooga-tn

Veteran publicist and luxury lifestyle experience-aholic, Regina Lynch-Hudson, pens MadameXhales, slated towards the vintage woman who enjoys more time to travel, indulges in longer trips, and selects more extravagant travel accommodations. The exacting taste of MadameXhales finds her exploring destinations, cruises, resorts, spas, and extracurricular activities—where like-minded Xhalers have experienced inner-exhilaration! © Contact MadameXhales: thewritepublicist@earthlink.net tallahassee woman | 38 | june • july 2021

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Business BUSINESS

UNDERSTANDING HOW EMOTIONAL HEALTH CAN INFLUENCE FINANCIAL DECISIONS

By Lisa Brown

It wasn’t until the 1970’s that women had the ability to apply for credit cards separate from their husbands. Yet, today, more than ever, women influence or have the responsibility for the financial decisions of their household. Women need to take ownership in the components of good financial health: education and discipline. Emotion can have an influence on financial decision-making and at the same time financial decisions can have a significant influence on our emotional health. Understanding this relationship and taking steps towards continued financial education and discipline can dramatically improve your health! Look for ways to encourage good financial decision making. We all know that exercise will improve our health, but having the discipline troutinely work out can be difficult. The same idea applies to our finances.

tallahassee woman | 40 | june • july 2021

Look for small things that you can do everyday to impact your finances Have a financial buddy that will encourage good financial decisions. Look for passive opportunities to educate yourself on financial best practices. Sign up for reputable blogs, podcasts, or emails that are delivered to you unprompted. Work with a financial planner or a financial counselor on a routine basis. Be conscious of emotional triggers that result in poor financial decision making. Small steps can have big impacts. Look for small things that you can do everyday to impact your finances. Simply eliminating a daily coffee shop stop can result in $2,500 more in your pocket annually. Be aware of the detrimental impact that predatory financial services can have on your long-term financial health. Avoid payday lenders, buy here/pay here car dealers, rent to own stores, and check cashing stores. While these services may be convenient, they can have a significant negative impact. Instead, look to develop a relationship with a Community Development Financial Institution (CDFI) for affordable alternatives.

n our business and personal lives, we are all askers. We ask for a commitment, a contract, favor, friendship, information, opportunity, a date, advice, recommendations, directions, help, and much more. Women are especially skilled at building trusting relationships and asking the right question, to the right person, at the right time, and for the right reason.

Here are six tips for asking thoughtfully and effectively. 1) DON’T TAKE NO FROM SOMEONE WHO CAN’T SAY YES. No matter what you are asking for, it is critical to ask the person with the power and authority to say yes. Otherwise, you are wasting their time and yours.

2) SHOW ME THAT YOU KNOW ME. No matter who they are, the person being asked should be treated with respect. Savvy askers make it a priority to understand the other person’s goals, concerns, and priorities. Your desire to understand their needs first builds trust from the start.

3) IDENTIFY YOUR BEST ASKING PHRASE. Find the asking phrase that works best for you. I am a big fan of “would you consider?” and “how would you like to proceed?” because it puts the client, donor, or customer in the driver’s seat. Successful asking is not about manipulation or arm twisting but a mutual agreement to do something together that benefits both parties.

4) USE OPEN-ENDED QUESTIONS. The best askers are terrific listeners. They ask thoughtful, open-ended questions like “can you tell me more about that?”, “how did that happen?”, and “would you tell me the whole story?”. Successful askers ensure the other person is doing most of the talking to learn more about who they are, what they value, and what they need.

5) BE PLEASANTLY PERSISTENT. While it is never a good idea to badger someone, the most successful askers have a knack for being steadfast and tenacious in a

tallahassee woman | 41 | june • july 2021

TIPS FOR ASKING THOUGHTFULLY & EFFECTIVELY BY ALYCE LEE STANSBURY

professional, courteous way. Giving up too soon is one of the quickest way to fail

6) EMBRACE TECHNOLOGY. I have clients who are asking – and getting – five and six figure donations on Zoom with no inperson contact. It starts with asking for permission, making sure the other person is comfortable with video conferencing, and then letting the discussion unfold. The best “ask” is a conversation, not a presentation. I hope these tips will help you become a better asker and create mutually beneficial opportunities for you, your clients, colleagues, family, and friends.

BY GABRIELLE K. GABRIELLI, PH.D.

s a leadership consultant, I am often brought into organizations to examine performance and productivity issues. Through a systematic process I frequently learn that the underlying problem is related to communication, often from the top. Consider your own communication and what you can do to make improvements. How do you communicate with yourself? We can be our own worst enemies and call ourselves bad names when we aren’t happy with what we have done or said. Instead, build a constructive inner dialogue. Say affirmations and consider making these changes to what you say: Instead of, “I have to,” say, “I get to.” People often complain that they have to go to work, pick up their kids, or pay their mortgage. Change your mindset to appreciate that you have a job, family, and home. Instead of, “I don’t have time,” say, “It’s not a priority.” You don’t have time to exercise? Yes, you do. It’s simply not a priority since you have chosen to do other things besides exercising. When you don’t make time for self-care, you are saying, “I am not a priority.” How do you communicate with others? Whether it’s in your personal or professional life, when you tell someone you are busy and don’t have time to talk, you are essentially telling the person, “You are not a priority.” Instead, consider asking if it is urgent, and if they say it’s not, schedule a time for a conversation without interruptions. If it is important, do your best to put aside whatever you were doing to give the person your complete attention. When we become more mindful of our words, we are better able to connect with ourselves and others. Being intentional reduces miscommunication, improves understanding, and builds trust. Use these strategies to help improve communication.

When we become more mindful of our words, we are better able to connect with ourselves and others. tallahassee woman | 42 | june • july 2021

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omen Giavona Williams W ON FIRE "Giovona Williams exemplifies the very definition of the Rock Star Award. In just a few short years, she has turned Grova Creative into a marketing powerhouse. As a woman, a veteran, and a business owner, Giovona exudes professionalism and continues to have a vision for her clients and works tirelessly to propel them to the top of their industry." Nominator: Travis Sparkman

"Since 2014, Jocelyne has served as the Director of Volunteers and Engagement for this organization which cares for Tallahassee’s most fragile and often overlooked citizens. Every aspect of her life, including family, faith, and community, somehow encompasses her passion for her work. For others this may just be a job or work but for Josie, it’s a calling." Nominator: Zemoria Johnson

tallahassee woman | 44 | june • july 2021

"You can often Elaine her outside of her business mentoring young professionals, assisting new entrepreneurs, and even providing guidance to the most seasoned professionals without expectation of anything in return. As a city commissioner, she has taken a responsibility to ensure that all areas of this city are able to enjoy the empowerment and vitality that only few have been able to achieve." Nominator: Kawana Johnson

"Sha’Ron is a woman who creates an environment in which others are inspired to challenge the status quo, push boundaries, and achieve growth. Her work to improve racial and gender equality in the insurance industry has been highlighted nationally. She personies inspiration and innovation, combined with anindomitable spirit." Nominator: Anitra Thomas

"Tonnette has always been a role model for young people. She's a huge advocate for mentoring—both seeking the right mentor and being one to others. She values the opportunity to share the wisdom and experience gained to help others navigate the spaces that she has occupied. Tonnette is committed to “reaching back” to serve and help those coming behind her." Nominator: Zenani D. Johnson

“She is a tireless advocate and supporter/teacher/guide for old and young entrepreneurs in Tallahassee. Her ideas are gritty and expansive, but realistic. In speaking with her for even a short time, my way of seeing the world changed. Her view of our future world is fascinating and possible. Her view is on3 that focuses on bettering the world.” Nominator: Joanne Gallagher

tallahassee woman | 45 | june • july 2021

“Miss Vickia is a perfect example of a young woman led with ambition and perseverance. She mentors young women and reminds them of the importance of self-worth, sisterhood, and service to the community. She is driven and hard-working. She is selfless and wants the world to become a better place. She won’t stop putting in the work until it’s done.” Nominator: Dominique McGriff

“Bri makes a personal connection with each and every client she has. Bri has donated so much time and services to charitable organizations in the area, to include the gold hope project for kids with cancer, March of Dimes, and Second Harvest of the Big Bend. Bri is a member of the Junior League and Chamber of Commerce to further her reach into the community she loves.” Nominator: Terry Whigham

"Gabrielle is a speaker, coach, author, evaluator, and educator who helps improve leadership, motivation, performance and learning. Her employment or leadership position may be with a non-profit or other community outreach program/business that serves others as she demonstrates service there that goes above and beyond the norm." Nominator: Paula DeBoles-Johnson

"Marcia has become a veritable expert on the ins and outs of emergency management. Always acting like a friend to those need in the aftermath of an event ensuring that they received applicable resources. Marcia inspires all of us; no one works harder or is more dedicated to the welfare of our citizens." Nominator: Elizabeth Ricci

"Amy has served on FSU’s Friends of Dance for years and as their President for multiple terms. What our children and families learned from being a part of this ballet studio has remained consistent with the values taught from the moment you step foot into her studio...dedication, hard work, respect for yourself and others at all times." Nominator: Andrea Friall, MD

“Quia’s ability to create and innovate is truly unparalleled. She continues to operate from a place of giving. She wants to see everyone succeed and always says, “The table is big enough for everyone to have a seat, so why not help someone else realize their dreams!” She knows that God has given her a gift." Nominator: Morgan Atkinson

tallahassee woman | 46 | june • july 2021

"Talethia empowers and inspires others everyday with her tenacity and grit. She has operationalized many community programs including the Leaping for Literacy campaign she founded, raised funds to provide cash incentives for students meeting their reading goals, and organized the early childhood stakeholders to one table." Nominator: Anita Wimberly

"Carly is an art teacher and oozes inspiration. From her colorful school days to afters chool programs in the new Art Bus, she is constantly creating new and innovate ways to engage children in art...but more importantly creativity. She is fiercely determined to inspire creative kids in the many roles she has taken on." Nominator: Anonymous

"Renee is a pillar in our community and puts the heart into #ihearttally. She is someone who doesn’t just sit on the sideline but instead stands up and delivers for the most vulnerable among us. Her work has saved lives and souls, and gives people an opportunity for a better tomorrow. Whether it's a warm shower, a meal, a bed, a hug, a prayer or connectivity to resources, Renee gives love and hope to all." Nominator: Barbara Wescott

"Jeannie is a visionary change-agent of our almost century old lobbying organization that employs more than 200 employees, with offices in Tallahassee and Orlando. Her character, leadership acumen and community/professional contributions have garnered her tremendous respect from other municipal association executives and our Florida League of Cities staff." Nominator: Sharon Berrian

"Keyunna is a 4th grade school teacher, wife, mother, and awesome coach. In 2015,she had a vision: to mentor and coach the youth to becoming and being their best selves. I see her work hard every day - even when she is tired. She mentors, tutors, dances, and has fun with her cheerleaders. She takes out the time to ensure that their mental health is good. The foundation of her non-profit is God." Nominator: Dreunna Holland

“Felicia Dilbert is an inspiration to many! Despite obstacles, she stepped out on faith and started her own business to help empower women to know their worth. Her genuine nature and uplifting spirit make her an exceptional role model for other women to see.” Nominator: Kawana Johnson

"Vickia is a young woman who has dreams of changing the world one queen at a time. She spends countless hours discovering ways to reach our youth to keep them motivated and uplifted. Her hard work is demonstrated in her career as a nurse. She has been working tirelessly during this pandemic and before. She also is a dedicated member at her church where she is the lead nursery teacher and a leader in various entities." Nominator: Ronerra Rosier

WOMEN WHO MEAN BUSINESS

s r o s n o Sp

tallahassee woman | 47 | june • july 2021

"I am choosing to nominate Tanya due to her exemplary leadership, service, and dedication to not only her business, but her entire staff. Tanya worked tirelessly day and night to grow and build her dream, turning an idea and passion into a successful and thriving independent woman-owned business that empowers other women and men to be leaders, successful, and independent. Nominator: Tristan Magruder

"Kathryn illustrates her professionalism and desire to help the next generation while serving as teaching professor and supervisor at FSU as well as resident choreographer for The Tallahassee Ballet. Kathryn has choreographed over 20 opera productions and more than 30 original ballets influencing multiple generations in the community and beyond." Nominator: Cristina Carter

Business | legal matters

From the desk of Dana Brooks DANA@FASIGBROOKS.COM

Dear Worried,

Dear Dana, I ’m going through a divorce and my soon-to-be-ex-husband says I have to give him back all my jewelry. That can’t be right, can it? Sincerely, Worried About my Bling in Tallahassee Dear Dana, I am divorced and my ex-husband and I share parenting time with our children. But when it is his time to have the children, he often leaves them with his new girlfriend instead of spending time with them himself. What can I do about this? Signed, Their Real Mom

The business part of ending a marriage isn’t much fun, especially when you start evaluating and distributing property. Whether your jewelry is marital property subject to equitable distribution or separate property belonging only to you depends on how and when it was acquired. If it predates the marriage or was a gift from a third party during the marriage, it’s likely considered separate property. But if your husband gave it to you during the marriage, it’s likely considered marital property for purposes of your divorce, even if it was intended to be worn and owned solely by you. To know for sure, consult an experienced family law attorney.

Dear Real Mom,

Dana

I hear this a lot and I know it’s frustrating because your children want to see their dad, not his new love interest. Unfortunately when it’s dad’s parenting time, he can leave his children in the care of other people, including his new girlfriend, his family, or even his friends and neighbors. Unless and until he/they are putting your children in immediate danger, there isn’t much that can be done about the situation. My suggestion would be to communicate with your children’s father about your concerns and work together on a plan that considers his, your, and your children’s points of view. Again, always consult an experienced family law attorney on the specific facts of your case.

tallahassee woman | 48 | june • july 2021

Dana

10 to Practice Mindfulness Ways

By Dr. Michelle Mitcham, LMHC-QS, NCC, CCMHC, CFM

ith nearly two years in isolation or hybrid work from home settings, it is easy to be inundated and drowning in technology, not to mention stress or anxiety. Are you ready for a change and do something for you? To escape the tech world and get in touch with self, increasing your awareness with the moment to moment reality of presence and being, try practicing some mindfulness techniques. Here are a few ways to relax, but first know that you have to give yourself permission. Self-care is a gift to you - both mentally and physically. To enhance your happiness and overall quality of life, try to incorporate some mindfulness into your busy schedule.

Unplug from all technology for 30-60 minutes per day. Increase this amount as you learn to be more productive. Fill in this time with a walk, massage, having tea or coffee with a loved one or friend. Do something that brings you joy and happiness. Balance your time with intention. Meditate in a quiet space, alone and without interruptions. Choose happiness and fill your mind and heart with love, gratitude and empathy.

time to practice 3 Schedule doing nothing and deep-

breathing; this means clearing your calendar of busy work and things that do not bring you joy.

4 Considering listening to

guided imagery on an app or YouTube.

outside on the grass and 5 Sit close your eyes and feel the

sunshine on your face. Clear your mind.

in the grass barefoot and 6 Walk practice grounding techniques. a yoga class, maybe hot 7 Take yoga or solo yoga at home. a bike and enjoy the 8 Ride scenery. Feel the warm breeze and focus on being present in the here and now.

a candle and quietly say 9 Light a prayer or positive affirmation.

10Write in a gratitude journal

everyday. Think of at least one thing you are thankful for. Think of one person you are grateful for.

tallahassee woman | 49 | june • july 2021

Wellness WELLNESS

PEOPLE WHO LOVE THE PELOTON LOVE THE PELOTON. By Sofia Jimenez

ne of the biggest questions that have dawned from this pandemic has been: what are you doing to stay in shape? While many gyms around the world have opened back up and are following CDC guidelines, many people are still incredibly hesitant to hop in their cars and drive to a place where they risk possible exposure. Not to mention, having to wear a mask while working out is not the best feeling. A result of this was a massive surge in at-home fitness regimens, ranging from biking and taking walks around neighborhoods, to YouTube workout tutorials, to most popularly, the purchasing of a Peloton. For those individuals who are wary of riding a bike or not fans of the outdoors in general, the Pelo-

ton might be your game-changer. The Peloton is an at-home piece of exercise equipment that allows members to follow encouraging instructors via streaming and on-demand videos to facilitate a workout from the comfort of your own home. It not only offers spinning/cycling/biking classes but also features workouts that deal with upper body, pilates, stretching, yoga, etc. It is no secret that this is a challenging time for everyone as life has been forever changed; however, it is important to keep in mind the little things we can all do to ensure that we come out of this pandemic stronger than we were before, both mentally, and physically.

tallahassee woman | 50 | june • july 2021

Watermelon - Grilled!

ummertime and cold watermelon are quite the perfect pair....however, have you ever had watermelon on the grill? I have to admit, I would have never tried this, except for the fact that my daughter made it and she is a great cook so of course I tried it....and to my surprise, it was delicious! It sounds a bit weird, but the grilled smokey flavor is everything! Ready for adventure? Spice up your summer grilling with delicious watermelon wedges! Yes, watermelon on the grill is amazing and surprisingly sweet and even spicy if you like. With the right seasoning, this could be your new favorite side or you could toss some into a summer salad.

Food FOOD

Wonderful

So there is nothing difficult about this recipe. Just heat up the grill to high. Cut the watermelon in wedges for the best results, at least 1/2-inch-thick slices recommended. Now it's time to get creative and spice up the watermelon however you like. Try a combination of brown sugar, sea salt, chili powder or red pepper flakes, lime juice or zest mixed well. Coat the watermelon wedges thoroughly on both sides the grill uncovered on each side for 2-3 minutes. Serve as a side dish or appetizer or dessert to along with all your favorite summer grilled dishes. Serve with whipped cream, yogurt or even feta cheese sprinkled on top.

tallahassee woman | 51 | june • july 2021

What Women Want 2021 is excited to bring the event you love with new COVID-19 safety precautions to keep your shopping safe! Spreading our event in TWO buildings and limiting the number of vendors allows space for vendors and guests to comfortably socially distance! With temperature screening, hand sanitizer stations, physical distancing, and mandatory masks, you’ll be able to enjoy the fun and shop worry-free!

SATURDAY JUNE 19, 2021 10A-3P THE TALLAHASSEE AUTOMOBILE AND COLLECTIBLES MUSEUM

WANT TO BE A SPONSOR OR VENDOR?

DOT EALY VP/MM CUMULUS MEDIA TALLAHASSEE DOT.EALY@CUMULUS.COM (850) 201-3005