OCTOBER/NOVEMBER 2024
Can't pour from an empty cup! PUMPKIN POWER COT TALENT SHAPING TALLAHASSEE
SAINT PETE SPLENDOR
PIVOT & PERSEVERE
TALLAHASSEE STATE COLLEGE
The Art of Micro-Flirting
Colette Washington & Khari James
Hurdles, Hardwork & Hope
A Family Story and The Journey to the Next Generation
Expert Care, Faster Recovery, Close to Home.
Meet Shlermine Everidge, MD, a Florida State University College of Medicine graduate, who spent a year dedicated to advanced breast cancer surgery training at the prestigious MD Anderson Cancer Center. Now she’s back and bringing the latest advancements in breast cancer treatment to the Tallahassee Memorial Walker Breast Program. With the region’s only fellowship trained breast surgical oncologist, TMH patients receive expert cancer care without having to travel far from home. We’re going the extra mile, so you don’t have to.
Learn about the Walker Breast Program at TMH.ORG/BreastCancer.
Tallahassee Community College Transforms into Tallahassee State College to Meet Expanding Educational Demands
O
n July 1, 2024, Tallahassee Community College proudly transitioned to Tallahassee State College (TSC). The change reflected TSC's significant evolution as a nationally-ranked public college with expanded academic offerings and a broadening impact in the state. The renaming also coincides with a period of remarkable growth. This semester, TSC welcomed its largest-ever cohort of new faculty—36 full-time members across multiple disciplines—to accommodate a surge in student enrollment. More than 12,000 students registered for fall 2024, a 7.2% increase in enrollment and a 9.1% rise in credit hours, the highest in more than a decade. Dr. Calandra Stringer, Provost and Vice President for Academic Affairs, emphasized, "These talented new faculty members not only meet the needs of our growing student body but also enrich the breadth and quality of our academic offerings."
vative fields such as applied artificial intelligence, computer crimes, and animation and game art. This expansion also includes new bachelor's degrees in elementary education, exceptional student education, and business administration. These programs complement the existing B.S. in Nursing and align with labor market trends, ensuring they meet regional workforce needs. TSC has also distinguished itself as the No.1 transfer school to both FSU and FAMU, with 60% of its students hailing from outside of its service district. This reflects TSC's growing influence and appeal in providing top-tier educational opportunities. As TSC advances, it continues to stay true to its mission of delivering accessible, affordable, and quality education. The transformation from TCC to TSC is more than a name change—it's a renewed commitment to ensuring it remains the college of choice for its students.
Several new associate in science (A.S.) degrees have been introduced in inno-
tallahassee woman | 4 | october • november 2024
Recognized as one of the top two-year colleges in the nation, we’re proud of our legacy as Tallahassee Community College. Now, we are soaring higher as Tallahassee State College. With more than 120 degree programs and career training opportunities, and the No. 1 transfer program in the state, we are the College of Choice for our students and our community. Discover more at tsc.fl.edu.
CONTENTS
4. TALLAHASSEE STATE COLLEGE 10. LETTER FROM PUBLISHER 12. LETTER FROM GUEST EDITOR
CULTURE & CUISINE
14. FALL FASHION UNLEASH YOUR STYLE 16. GLORIOUS GLUTEN-FREE PUMPKIN SPICE PANCAKES
LIVING LOCAL
18. HAUTE HAPPENINGS 20. FOOTBALL AND TAILGATES 22. AROUND TOWN: SISTER SPEAK WINE & WISDOM
ON THE COVER
24. COLETTE WASHINGTON & KHARI JAMES HURDLES HARDWORK & HOPE
TRAVEL
32. WEEKEND WONDERS UNVEILING THE HIDDEN TREASURES OF DOWNTOWN ST. PETERSBURG
EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE 42. REFILL YOUR CUP HOW TO BALANCE LIFE, WORK, AND SELF-CARE WITHOUT BURNING OUT 44. FINDING PEACE IN THE CHAOS TWO TIPS FOR BUSY MOMS SEEKING A BALANCED LIFE 47. ENCOURAGING EXPLORATION
16
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
48. TAKING OFF THE MASKS— CREATING AUTHENTIC SISTERHOOD 50. THE ALLURE OF FLIRTING 51. WE INSPIRE
42
24
BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP
34. LEGAL WRITES WITH DANA BROOKS 36. PIVOT & PERSEVERE
MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
40. EMPOWER YOUR JOURNEY EMBRACE CHANGE, BUILD SKILLS, AND THRIVE IN 24. ABOUT THE COVER: | PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | MAKEUP: IMAGE BY LISA | HAIR: EIGHT FIVE ZERO SALON | WARDROBE: NARCISSUS
tallahassee woman | 6 | october • november 2024
44
Confident and compassionate – that’s the type of person you want managing your retirement plans and exactly who Angel Charlton is. As the City of Tallahassee’s first African American Retirement Programs Administrator, Charlton plays a direct role in the life of each of the City’s 4,000 employees. Rather than viewing employees as a simple calculation, she encourages her team to meet each employee where they are and help them plan for retirement in a way that meets their individual goals. With 20 years of service, Charlton has driven retirement readiness initiatives with a focus on early- and mid-career retirement plan education and implemented programs for retirees. In her role, she is responsible for managing and negotiating investment, pension and defined contribution plans, while also managing the retirement “powerhouse” (her talented, driven team).
ANGEL CHARLTON
The City is a great place to work and retire from, due in part to Charlton’s leadership and dedication to staying current on industry trends. She is an active member of the Florida Public Pension Trustee Association, the National Pension Education Association and the National Conference for Public Employee Retirement Systems. Additionally, Charlton recently graduated with a master’s in public administration from Florida State University. For Charlton, her role is much more than a title – it’s a service to an organization she is proud to represent. When asked if she was looking forward to her retirement with the City, her answer was a representation of her dedication to the organization. “I don’t think I will retire in 10 years because I have a lot more left to give,” she said. Discovering the excitement of computer programming in high school, Sabrina Holloman knew early on that she belonged in the field of technology - a field that was largely male-dominated at the time. Now, 23 years into her career with the City of Tallahassee, she stands as a leader in the industry, serving as the Deputy Director of Technology and Innovation (T&I) for Business Engagement and Professional Services. Holloman plays a key role in evaluating emerging trends in technology and planning strategic improvements that enable City services like public safety, utilities and StarMetro to operate more efficiently. She was instrumental in the development of the City’s first computer-aided dispatch system that now supports Tallahassee’s Consolidated Dispatch Agency, ensuring that 911 dispatchers have reliable, smooth technology, ultimately improving response times. She received a bachelor’s degree in computer information systems from Florida A&M University and is a graduate of Florida State University’s Certified Government Chief Information Officer and Public Manager programs. Prior to joining the City, Holloman held an impressive 11-year tenure in IT with Procter & Gamble. This combined education and expertise led her to be the City’s first African American and female Chief Information Officer, a role that laid the foundation for her current position. A natural-born teacher, Holloman considers the opportunity to influence technology trends and employee-development to be her favorite parts of the job. Her division within T&I mentors students through the Tallahassee Future Leaders Academy each year hoping to inspire future generations toward a career in technology. The collaborative work environment she has created empowers her intelligent, capable team members to take the lead on projects with confidence in their ability to deliver outstanding results.
SABRINA HOLLOMAN
tallahassee woman | 7 | october • november 2024
WOM A N
MAGAZINE CRISTINA CARTER Relationship Manager
Publisher | Editor-in-Chief
OLIVIA HEYWARD
TALLAHASSEE WOMAN MAGAZINE is a publication of Mitcham Media Group LLC Post Office Box 16616 Tallahassee, FL 32317-3401 Phone (850) 893-9624 publisher@TalWoman.com Tallahassee Woman is published six times per year and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout Tallahassee and the surrounding communities. ADVERTISING For advertising, visit talwoman.com, call (850) 893-9624, or e-mail ads@TalWoman.com. The information in this publication is presented in good faith. The publisher does not guarantee accuracy or assume responsibility for errors or omissions. Copyright © 2024 Mitcham Media Group LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, without expressed written consent of the Publisher is prohibited.
TALLAHASSEE WOMAN MAGAZINE IS A CERTIFIED MINORITY BUSINESS ENTERPRISE
Director of Leadership Initiatives
VICKI BRADLEY WRITER
HEATHER THOMAS WRITER
KIRA DERRYBERRY PHOTOGRAPHER
DR. TAVIA REYES WRITER
JANE MARKS WRITER
KAITLYN WALSH WRITER
Vicki Bradley is a news leader with nearly two decades of news production, producing and leadership experience.She currently serves as Station Manager and Sr. Director of News for WTXL ABC 27.
Heather Thomas is the former Executive Editor of Tallahassee Woman Magazine and currentlyserves as the Marketing Coordinator at Leon County Schools. To keep up with Heather, follow her on Instagram @ladybluewrites.
Creative Director
T A LWO M A N .C O M
Executive Editor
PAULA DEBOLES-JOHNSON
CONTRIBUTORS
Dr. Michelle Mitcham
LACI SWANN
BRIANA SMITH Creative Consultant
Kira Derryberry is a Tallahassee-based portrait photographer specializing in families, headshots and boudoir and commercial photography. She books locally in Tallahasee and is available for travel worldwide. View Kira's portfolio online at kiraderryberry.com.
Jane Marks is a licensed psychotherapist "life coach" with more than 50 years of experience specializing in child and adolescent behavior. She is a motivational speaker/lecturer focusing on mental health and adolescents.
tallahassee woman | 8 | october • november 2024
Dr. Tavia is an applied kinesiologist, certified acupuncturist and yoga teacher. She is deeply grateful for the opportunity to serve as a holistic physician, empowering others through root cause medicine and health education.
Florida State University Intern
Private wealth solutions for what’s next. And for what happens after that. When you’re ready to focus on the future, Synovus is the partner to help you get more out of life. Partner with a team of experienced wealth advisors to help you build a brighter future for decades and generations to come.
Start your journey at synovus.com/wealth. Investment products and services provided by Synovus are offered through Synovus Securities, Inc. (“SSI”), Synovus Trust Company, N.A. (“STC”) and Creative Financial Group, a division of SSI. Trust services for Synovus are provided by Synovus Trust Company, N.A. The registered brokerdealer offering brokerage products for Synovus is Synovus Securities, Inc., member FINRA/SIPC and an SEC Registered Investment Advisor. Investment products and services are not FDIC insured, are not deposits of or other obligations of Synovus Bank, are not guaranteed by Synovus Bank and involve investment risk, including possible loss of principal amount invested. Synovus Securities, Inc. is a subsidiary of Synovus Financial Corp and an affiliate of Synovus Bank and Synovus Trust. Synovus Trust tallahassee Company, N.A. is a subsidiary of Synovus Bank.woman | 9 | october • november 2024
PUBLISHER LETTER
“Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take, but by the moments that take our breath away.” -Maya Angelou
A
s we reflect on the recent impact of Hurricane Helene, I am reminded of the incredible resilience that defines our city, our community, our state, and our nation. In times of adversity, we witness the true spirit of humanity as people unite to lend a helping hand and show compassion for one another. The essence of resilience embodies the strength of women—those courageous souls who advocate for others and uplift their communities. This issue features two remarkable women who exemplify this spirit: the dynamic mother-daughter duo, Khari James and Colette Washington. Their inspiring story is a testament to the power of belief and determination, encouraging us all to rise above challenges. The spirit of resilience resides within each of us, waiting to be ignited. I also invite you to join us at our monthly event, SisterSpeak: Wine & Wisdom, where women gather to share their powerful narratives of strength, courage, and resilience. These gatherings remind us that we are never alone in our journeys and that we can uplift each other through shared experiences. As we celebrate the rich tapestry of women in our community, let us honor Hispanic Heritage Month by recognizing the invaluable contributions of our Latina sisters who enrich our lives and our city. Together, let us embrace the wild beauty of humanity and continue to support one another through our shared struggles and triumphs. I look forward to bringing you inspiring articles on self-care, wellness, legal matters, and matters of the heart. Special thanks to all of our writers, contributors and advertisers. “Do not wait for leaders; do it alone, person to person.” – Mother Teresa
Dr. Michelle Mitcham CEO & Publisher Tallahassee Woman Magazine
tallahassee woman | 10 | october • november 2024
Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography
tallahassee woman | 11 | october • november 2024
GUEST EDITOR LETTER
“I have found the same values to be just as true being a part of Tallahassee Woman Magazine - a publication that works to showcase meaningful stories and words to inspire, motivate, and drive the future of our community.”
D
edicating yourself to a career in journalism comes with a love of people, stories, and the goal of sharing voices and experiences. It’s all in the hope of strengthening connection, to make someone feel inspired, less alone, more understood, the list goes on. For me, it’s about the change that can happen when people feel connected with each other and their community– that’s what my first year living in Tallahassee and working at ABC 27 (WTXL) has taught me. Our approach to local news at ABC 27 thrives on community, goodwill, and commitment to the future of our neighborhoods – all values I have come to learn define Tallahassee. They’re attributes I have been so lucky to cover across our city, meeting neighbors that have helped me integrate into this city because of their steadfast devotion to wanting to help and better our communities. I am always in awe of the vulnerability and openness people afford me when they are sharing their stories. Not only has each story shifted my own perspectives, making me question and consider new facets of the world, they have also been the most fulfilling way to learn about our
community, then share those findings so more people can experience my same revelations. I have found the same values to be just as true being a part of Tallahassee Woman Magazine - a publication that works to showcase meaningful stories and words to inspire, motivate, and drive the future of our community. It’s also evidence of the deep-rooted care and consideration our neighbors have for each other and this city. I have been deeply moved by my conversations with Khari James and Colette Washington, learning how their investment in resiliency and strength has grounded their family and ensured, with hard work, they were able to achieve their dreams – one of which they are expecting in a matter of moments. I hope their words motivate you. Thank you for trusting me to tell your stories and welcoming me into your communities and your homes every morning and evening.
Maya Sargent
Multimedia Journalist WTXL ABC 27
tallahassee woman | 12 | october • november 2024
tallahassee woman | 13 | october • november 2024
CULTURE & CUISINE
A Flare for Fall Fashion
Unleash Your Style!
A
By TWM Staff
s the crisp autumn air rolls in, it’s time to breathe new life into your wardrobe, embracing a season filled with comfort and creativity! This fall, it’s all about making a bold statement with chic monochromatic outfits that exude confidence. Think light layering, oversized sweaters draped effortlessly, and a pop of vibrant color to elevate your look! Accessorizing is the name of the game this season! Get playful with a whimsical scarf, a trendy hat, stylish sunglasses, or a fabulous handbag that speaks to your personality. And let’s not forget the crossover bag—it’s a fabulous accessory that adds a touch of flair to any ensemble. This fall, break free from the old-fashioned rules of matching metals; mix and match your gold, silver, and rose gold accessories with unapologetic boldness. Your style is your own, so let it shine!
Comfort is key, and that starts with your footwear. Step into the season with an array of stylish and cozy boots! From chic ankle boots to classic riding boots, and from elegant high heels to comfy low heels, there’s something for everyone. In the southern regions, why not make a statement with some fashionable cowboy boots? They can range from high-fashion to ruggedly chic, so choose a pair that reflects your unique vibe! And don’t forget to spice things up with a standout belt—explore local consignment shops or thrift
stores for a one-of-a-kind buckle that screams personality, whether it’s adorned with dazzling bling or a rustic cowboy motif. If your adventures take you to coastal areas, embrace the serene shades of coastal blue to evoke the spirit of the sea. You can never go wrong with an effortlessly draped wrap or a perfect sweater; try wearing it off the shoulder for that laid-back, stylish look. Cargo pants are back and better than ever! These versatile essentials can be dressed up or down effortlessly, whether you snag them from
tallahassee woman | 14 | october • november 2024
Target or a trendy boutique. Pair them with a sharp blazer for a polished look, or go casual with a cozy tee and sneakers for a day out. This fall, don’t shy away from experimenting with textures! Incorporate luxurious suede shoes or a sumptuous velour sweater into your outfits for that playful twist that brings your ensemble to life. So, get ready to dive into fall fashion with enthusiasm! This is your time to express your personality through vibrant colors, exciting textures, and stunning accessories. Take a good look at your closet or hit the stores to find that perfect look that ignites your spirit and makes you the center of attention wherever you go. Let your fall wardrobe be a canvas for your unique style!
tallahassee woman | 15 | october • november 2024
Glorious Gluten-Free Pumpkin Spice Pancakes By TWM Staff
T
he time is here! It’s pumpkin season, where pumpkin spice is literally in the air. People all over the world are burning pumpkin candles, drinking pumpkin lattes, making cakes, cookies and more. Pumpkin is near and dear to the hearts of many, as a nostalgic staple of fall festivities. Let’s dive a little deeper and explore the many uses of pumpkin, both inside and outside of fall traditions. FUN FACTS: Pumpkins are a winter squash in the genus Cucurbitacae. This includes squash, pumpkins and several other vine-grown fruits. Pumpkins are native to Central America and Mexico, domesticated over 7,000 years ago. The inner pulp is
most commonly used today, but Native Americans used the inner pulp, the flowers, the skin and the seeds. The many different varieties of pumpkin express beautiful deep fall colors, various textures and shapes. Pumpkin is used as a symbol of prosperity and abundance because of its resilient ability to grow in less than ideal conditions. Pumpkin is a nutrient dense fruit, both the pulp and the seeds contain beneficial components like minerals, vitamins, and anti-fungal proteins. Health benefits of pumpkin include antioxidant activity and improved glucose tolerance. Pumpkin is a versatile culinary contender, working well in both savory and sweet dishes.
INGREDIENTS • 1 cup of Gluten Free Flour • 3/4 cup almond flour • ½ cup of almond milk • ¼ pumpkin puree • 2 eggs • 1 tablespoon of butter (or butter substitute) • 1 tsp vanilla • ½ tsp baking powder • ¼ tsp salt • 1 tablespoon of cane sugar (or 1 tsp of stevia or monk fruit) • Add spices to preference (cinnamon, nutmeg, allspice, ginger)
PREPARATION Combine dry ingredients and in a separate bowl, combine wet ingredients. Next, combine the wet and dry ingredient. Spoon batter into skillet and cook on each side for a couple of minutes, until golden brown on both sides. Enjoy! *This is a gluten-free, soy-free, dairy-free recipe for those with food sensitivities.
TA
2024
TA
’S
EM ASSE AGAZI NE AH LL
of
LL A H A S SEE
THE EARLY BIRD GETS THE BEST
HOLIDAY GIFTS.
Get your early bird tickets now for exclusive access to Market Days, Tallahassee’s finest holiday shopping tradition with thousands of one-of-a-kind arts and crafts from 300 juried artisans. All proceeds support the Tallahassee Museum’s positive community impact, the best gift of all.
December 7-8, 2024 North Florida Fairgrounds
Early bird tickets available while they last at MarketDays.org. Tickets & Info at MarketDays.org
HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH NATIONAL HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH IS ANNUALLY OBSERVED FROM SEPTEMBER 15 TO OCTOBER 15 IN THE UNITED STATES FOR RECOGNIZING THE CONTRIBUTIONS AND INFLUENCE OF HISPANIC AMERICANS TO THE NATION'S ACHIEVEMENTS, CULTURE, AND HISTORY
tallahassee woman | 17 | october • november 2024
LIVING LOCAL
Haute
HAPPENINGS By Kaitlyn Walsh
VISIT TALLAHASSEE: DOWNTOWN GETDOWN Date: October 4 Time: 6:00 p.m. Location: 300 S Adams Street.
plantations in Leon County. After the show, filmmaker Scoon will discuss the film and answer questions. Tickets are Available online at Eventbrite.com.
TALLAHASSEE MUSEUM: ZOOBILEE: WITCHES AND This free public event is on Adams Street in WARLOCKS downtown Tallahassee. Visitors can enjoy live music while shopping at food and craft vendors. Downtown GetDown is a familyfriendly event.
LEMOYNE ARTS: ART AND SOUL CELEBRATION: SOMETHING FLORIDA
Date: October 25 Time: 7:00 p.m. to 10:00 p.m Location: 3945 Museum Drive, Tallahassee, FL 32310
Head to the Young Actors Theatre to see the Broadway hit "Beauty and the Beast." The Young Actors Theatre trains young student actors ages three to 18. Come out and support their hard work!
UNITED WAY OF THE BIG BEND: ANNUAL WOMEN'S LEADERSHIP BREAKFAST November 12 Time: TBA Location: TBA
Tallahassee Museum's fundraiser. Live local music, food from local eateries and an open bar. Costumes are encouraged, and the event's theme is witches and warlocks. The event is 21-plus. Tickets cost $50 before the day of the event, $55 at the door and a group rate is available for parties of 10.
The event from Women United celebrates women who are leaders in business and philanthropy! The Annual Women's Leadership Breakfast will have a keynote speaker. For more information on this event, head to: https://uwbb.org/ womensleadership/
The "Something Florida" celebration will be held in the Lemoyne Gardens, where there will be lots of live music, treats, snacks, and cocktails. This event celebrates Florida, and their website says to dress in your best Florida chic! Live auctions of online jewelry, artwork and experiences are also available.
VENVI ART GALLERY: LOCALES: NORTH FLORIDA'S PLEIN AIR LANDSCAPE
BIG BEND HOSPICE: FAMILY HOPE FOR THE HOLIDAYS WORKSHOP
INVISIBLE HISTORY: MIDDLE FLORIDA'S HIDDEN ROOTS
Nan Liu's artwork will be on display in November, with an opening reception that evening. The exhibit will run through January 19.
Date: October 17 Time: 5:30 p.m. to 8:30 p.m. Location: 125 N. Gadsden Street Tallahassee, FL 32301
Date: October 19, 2024 and December 1, 2024 Time: 1:00 p.m. to 3:00 p.m. Location: Challenger Learning Center of Tallahassee IMAX Movie Theater 200 South Duval Street Tallahassee, FL 32301.
A film by Valerie Scoon highlights and shows the bravery of the nine thousand women, children and men enslaved on
Date: November 1 to January 19. Time: 5:00 p.m. to 7:00 p.m. Location: 2901 E Park Ave, Unit 2800, Tallahassee, FL 32301
YOUNG ACTORS THEATRE: BEAUTY AND THE BEAST Date: November 1, 2024 through November 10, 2024 Time: TBA. Location: 609 Glenview Drive, Tallahassee, FL 32303
Date: December 3, 2024 and December 12, 2024 Time: 6:00 p.m. to 7:30 p.m. Location: Big Bend Hospice - Elaine C. Bartelt Administration Center 1723 Mahan Center Boulevard, Tallahassee, United States It is an event for families who are dealing with the loss of a loved one. This workshop will help to support families through the holiday season. Trained grief counselors lead the workshop and help families cope. The workshop is free.
tallahassee woman | 18 | october • november 2024
ENHANCE, REFRESH, AND REJUVENATE. Square One is currently the ONLY MedSpa in Tallahassee that features these latest advanced treatments such as the Sofwave and Pure Impact technology! The only FDA-cleared, non-invasive treatment to IMPROVE facial lines and wrinkles, LIFT the eyebrow, LIFT lax submental and neck tissue, IMPROVE the appearance of cellulite, and TREAT acne scars. Info about Sofwave:
Info about Pure Impact:
Ultrasound technology
No downtime
No needles
Wireless connectors
No downtime
Comfortable treatments
All skin types
30 minute sessions
One treatment protocols for face & neck!
Stimulate multiple muscle groups simultaneously
Contact Us Website:
Phone Number:
850-765-9923
www.squareoneaesthetics.com
Instagram:
@squareoneaesthetics Our Brand New Location:
863 E. Park Avenue Tallahassee, FL 32301
T A L L A H A S S E E W O M A N M A G A Z I N E & F O U N D A T I O N P R E S E N T
TALLAHASSEE FASHION WEEK 2024 NOVEMBER 15-16, 2024
WE ARE SEEKING LOCAL BOUTIQUES AND STORES TO PARTNER WITH US FOR TALLAHASSEE WOMAN MAGAZINE'S FASHION WEEK. IF INTERESTED, PLEASE REACH OUT TO US AT PUBLISHER@TALWOMAN.COM.
tallahassee woman | 19 | october • november 2024
Football and Tailgates What to Wear and Essentials By Kaitlyn Walsh
W
ith football season just starting here in Tallahassee, here are a few outfit ideas and essentials for having the best time!
WHAT TO WEAR: If you want to be comfortable in the gameday heat, I have found that athletic wear, or "athleisure," is a perfect way to feel stylish while staying cool. Wearing an athleisure top, tank top, dress, or skirt is a way to feel less hot and have a more breathable material. If you want to feel more put together, try a relaxed or loose dress in your team's color. Add some comfortable sandals, and you are game-day-ready. Suppose you're looking to scream school spirit; who can go wrong with a classic team shirt, leggings, shorts or jeans. Make sure to wear walkable sandals or comfortable shoes. Wearing your favorite team's shirt on game day to show your spirit is what it's all about, anyway! Florida State University and Florida A&M merchandise shirts are at stores throughout Tallahassee. Here's a list of stores where you can find some merch for you and the family: • Narcissus • Hearth and Soul • Garnet and Gold • Campus Greek and Embroidery Shop • Barefoot Campus Outfitters • FAMU Spirit Shop (Online: https://famu.spirit.bncollege.com/ ) • Picked. • Target, Walmart and Amazon. • Goodwill and consignment stores.
ESSENTIALS: If you're heading into a stadium to see a game, you should get a clear, see-through pouch or purse. Most stadiums may require clear bags, which must be the size of a small purse to bring into the stadium. Need help finding one? Amazon, Target, and Walmart are just some stores where these bags are for sale. Some game-day stores around Tallahassee likely sell them as well.
WHAT GOES INSIDE? • Tickets! Make sure you • have them on your phone • ID, wallet, cash and debit or credit card • Small, mini fan • Comfortable shoes • Hair ties • Chapstick or Lipstick • SPF lotion
tallahassee woman | 20 | october • november 2024
Our Board Certified Plastic Surgeons provide the latest techniques and procedures with confidential, personal care, providing the highest quality plastic surgery of North Florida and South Georgia since 1978. Our elegant Tallahassee Plastic Surgery Clinic is designed to make you feel welcome and pampered. LASER | FACIAL REJUVENATION | COSMETIC FACIAL SURGERY SKIN CARE COSMETIC AND RECONSTRUCTIVE BREAST SURGERY BODY CONTOURING | SKINCEUTICALS ADVANCED CLINICAL SPA
(850)877-2126
TLHPLASTICSURGERY.COM ALFREDO A. PAREDES JR., M.D. | LARRY HARPER, M.D., FACS | JEFFREY M. RAWLINGS, MD, FACS MEGAN WILSON, PA-C, LAUREN BOWEN ZIRGIBEL, PA-C, SHARON BANASIEWICZ, PA-C
tallahassee woman | 21 | october • november 2024
TOWN
AROUND
S
ince the inaugural Wine & Wisdom Sister Speaks event at Vino Beano, these gatherings have only gotten better, like a fine wine growing richer with age. Each new session, led by Dr. Michelle Mitcham, brings fresh wisdom, deeper connections, and an ever-growing sense of community among the women of Tallahassee.
By Blaire Bennett & Kelsie Pace
relationships and professional growth. What makes these evenings truly special is the way they bring together women of all ages, backgrounds, and beliefs into one inclusive space. Whether it’s seasoned professionals or those just starting out, the diversity of experience and perspective adds richness to every conversation. This sense of unity and shared purpose is what makes each event more meaningful than the last.
What began as an empowering night of advice and storytelling has evolved into a cherished tradition. Now, familiar faces return with updates on their journeys, while new attendees are welcomed into an atmosphere of mutual support. These events have transformed from being a room full of inspiring women to a collective sisterhood, fostering authentic
As these gatherings continue, they remain a testament to the power of women uplifting women—each night better than the last, promising even more growth, connection, and wisdom to come. Cheers to the next glass!
WEEKLY Events Sip &Study
VinoBeano, Tallahassee's charming spot for exquisite in-house cuisine, wine, and cocktails. Perfect for unforgettable birthdays, business gatherings, or wedding events!
Daily until 5PM Join us for a refreshing study session! Enjoy a buy-one-getone special on coldbrew coffees with a student ID.
Wine Bingo
7pm-9pm Complimentary glass of wine with any food purchase Must purchase any item to play*
Ladies Night
www.vinobeano.com @vinobeanotally
5pm-7pm Enjoy half off specialty martinis and join us for Ladies Night every weeknight.
EVERY DAY
WED
EVERY WEEK NIGHT
1309 THOMASVILLE RD, SUITE 101, TALLAHASSEE, FL 32303 (850) 329-2562
tallahassee woman | 22 | october • november 2024
The FUTURE of Mind
HEALTH IS BRIGHT PHYSICIAN LED. EVIDENCE-BASED.
Experience the evolution of mental healthcare with our safe and highly effective ketamine treatments. WE OFFER ADVANCED TREATMENT SOLUTIONS AT LUMINA MIND HEALTH Evidence-based IV ketamine for treatmentresistant mood disorders Physician-owned and operated Psychotherapy included in each session by board-certified psychiatric APRN Treats depression, anxiety, PTSD, bipolar disorder, substance use disorders, and OCD Offers medication management, psychiatric evaluations, and substance use exams Infusions supervised by a physician and APRN Dr. Boyd trained under experts with specialized protocols for optimal results
CONTACT US
Call Us (850) 270-3085
@luminamindhealth
Visit Our Website luminamindhealth.com Our Location 223 E Virginia Street, Tallahassee, Fl 32301
COVER
tallahassee woman | 24 | october • november 2024
Hurdles,
Hardwork
&
Hope
A Family Story and The Journey to the Next Generation BY MAYA SARGENT | PHOTOGRAPHY KIRA DERRYBERRY
Colette Washington & Khari James tallahassee woman | 25 | october • november 2024
COVER
I
met Khari James at GroundOps Roastery and Bakehouse in Midtown, bright and early, on a weekday morning. We had to change the time once this week as Khari is preparing for an upcoming case. Khari is a prosecutor. I came to learn that most of the cases Khari works on are crimes involving sexual, domestic, and homicidal violence. The work, she told me, is arduous and challenging, but you would have never guessed Khari carries the weight of the responsibility of advocating for these vulnerable families, or that she’s been through the most challenging year of her life, as she gave me the warmest smile and hug upon meeting - for the first time I might add. Khari is also celebrating a significant milestone. She’s 33 weeks pregnant, expecting a baby girl, and soaking in every part of becoming a mother. Khari said she’s feeling good and waiting patiently for her fall due date to roll around. And on cue, with the strength I am almost already certain she’s gotten from her mother, Khari’s baby starts hiccuping, assuring us, she is very much ready to be part of our conversation— or she’s telling me to put my coffee down, and get started, so I can stop taking up all of her mom’s attention! It’s a blessing that Khari is so far along in her pregnancy. Her last year has been incredibly difficult— including two recurrent miscarriages, many doctor’s visits, surgeries, reading countless case studies related to how the shape of your uterus may affect your ability to carry a baby to term, all the while continuing her work fighting for victims of heinous crimes. Children that aren’t her own, but they might as well be, she told me, with the way she internalizes her job. “I get very protective over them and always want to make sure they feel heard and supported,” said Khari. She is a Tallahassee native. “I have left a few times and come back because I just cannot seem to get enough,” said Khari. Those
trips away included her time studying at the University of Central Florida in Orlando, as well internship opportunities in Washington D.C., and a year of law school in Chicago. However, her need to return to Tallahassee remained fervent. “I think it just feels comfortable here,” said Khari. “[Tallahassee] feels safe. It feels comfortable. It feels like my comfort blanket. It’s home.” With the nature of her job, the desire for familial connection and deep-rooted friendship makes perfect sense. Khari’s return to Tallahassee came through the avenue of completing law school at Florida State University. “FSU law school is also very government and public interest focused,” said Khari. “I still had access to very similar resources for what I was interested in.” Khari explained that’s where she began working at the State Attorney’s Office, first as an intern and then hired fulltime after passing the bar exam. Being a zealous advocate for those who had experienced horrific traumas was the very path that she would dedicate her working life. “I don’t feel like it was hard to do that type of work,” said Khari. “I don’t feel like it was hard because I’ve always known what I wanted to do. It’s who I am.” A passion and love for advocacy that has clearly stood the test of time. Khari’s passion emanated while she recounted memories in court, fighting for family’s freedom from an abuser, or advocating for herself for a key college internship with the Department of Homeland Security, or that summer she spent working at the White House. “I was taught from a very young age, if I want something, then I can do it. There is nothing that I cannot do.” said Khari. It’s been one of the fundamental philosophies that’s governed her life. “I just kind of carried it with me… If I want something, then I can do it, and I’m going to find a way to work hard to make it happen.” She shared
that the choice to be in this career field was never difficult. There was always inner clarity and self-assurance that this was her destined path; so her commitment to the job and advocacy came naturally. It’s an inner strength that has grounded Khari throughout her life and is a constant reminder of what she is capable of overcoming and achieving. It’s a belief she would need to cling on to during the events of last year when she recounted some of the lowest and most challenging moments of her life. “I’m standing up there, fighting for justice for someone’s child, while I was actively losing my own.” Like all of the many times before in Khari’s life, when she put her mind to something, she achieved that goal. So when Khari decided she was ready to have a baby, that’s exactly what happened. However, things were not quite that simple. “Getting pregnant was not difficult, staying pregnant was,” said Khari. Khari endured two miscarriages in the span of just a couple of months. She underwent surgery to complete both of those miscarriages and suffered the loss of her mother-in-law during this time. While Khari was having surgery due to miscarriage, her mother-in-law was in the ICU in the same building— just one floor up. It was one of the most traumatic things, Khari said, she has ever had to endure. “It was a horrible, horrible, horrible, time,” said Khari. A year that took a toll on both her body and her mind. During this period, Khari continued to work. She said she threw herself into her cases because she owed it to her victims and survivors. Her struggle to stay pregnant was an internal battle she had to leave at the doors of the courtroom so she could fight for the children in front of her, even as she was losing her own.
tallahassee woman | 26 | october • november 2024
“From day one, I promised her, I’m going to give you the best life possible. I’m going to do everything I can for you to achieve all of your dreams.” -Collette Washington
tallahassee woman | 27 | october • november 2024
COVER
PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY MAKEUP: IMAGE BY LISA HAIR: EIGHT FIVE ZERO SALON WARDROBE: NARCISSUS
tallahassee woman | 28 | october • november 2024
“I was taught from a very young age, if I want something, then I can do it. There is nothing that I cannot do.” -Khari James
“I was pretty lonely,” said Khari. “It’s very hard to try to explain to others what you’re feeling when you’re having a miscarriage, or how sad you really are. I think I mostly just felt alone.” Even so, on the job, no one knew what Khari was going through. And she kept it that way. It was a battle invisible to the public eye but one that she was feeling so intimately. And yet, the situation caused Khari to dig in deep and fight harder in court to win justice for her families. Standing up in trial after trial, taking the weekends to heal from surgery and to grieve all of the losses she had experienced back to back, all the while still maintaining her caseload and working hard to make sure that what was happening in her personal life did not interfere with work. “It wasn’t about me,” said Khari. “It was about my victims. I owed it to them to keep going.” “Looking back, I don’t know how I survived, honestly, I don’t know how I did it,” said Khari. But if there was any sign of defeat, Khari did not let it stick around for long. After miscarrying a second time, her mission to keep her baby became her next case to investigate. “By the end of it, I probably could have done the surgery myself,” said Khari— that’s how committed she became to finding out what was happening inside of her body and how she could go about making sure she did not miscarry again. Khari said she switched doctors three times, all the while consistently reading case studies about the shapes of uteri, and researching incessantly, looking into the intricacies of the procedure and the equipment the surgery would require. “I trusted my body,” said Khari. “I was ready to have a baby and I knew my body could do it.” However, Khari explained she felt the gravity of the situation. While she had complete confidence in herself, the thought of handing over the control of her future and her ability to have a child into the hands of someone else— “it was very scary because it’s like this is my uterus. I only get one and so, if you mess it up, you will take this from me, and that’s going to be a big problem,” said Khari. But her innate strength, that had been so fiercely tried and tested, persisted. Now I’m getting to know Khari, I’m not surprised to find out, she sought out the answers, all by herself. Eventually, Khari found out she had been miscarrying because of the shape of her uterus. What the doctors had thought was one shape, actually turned out to be another. Thankfully, this one could be fixed with surgery, which is how Khari underwent her third surgery of the year. “I had the surgery. Thank god, it was successful, and here I am pregnant
tallahassee woman | 29 | october • november 2024
COVER with a healthy baby girl,” said Khari. When we met, Khari was 33 weeks pregnant. “It feels very magical, beautiful,” said Khari. “I just feel very proud of my body and of myself for not giving up because I could have so easily.” I didn’t tell Khari this, but it’s completely unsurprising that she managed to endure and persevere through her lowest moments because her foundations are, and always have been, so strong. During the interview, I learned that It’s resilience that is embedded in the DNA of her family, nurtured from the earliest age in her childhood from her parents. “I feel like my dad sort of taught me that if you care about something or someone, you always, always show up,” said Khari. “My mom was always solid as a rock, doing everything she needed to do so that we did not go a day without what we wanted and needed. There was nothing that was going to make her waiver. Her strength is unmatched.” A strength Khari is determined to pass on to her daughter as well— which has been passed on through generations of strong women, especially by Khari’s own mother, Colette Washington.
Generations Built on Fighting for Oneself I met Colette a week later and was mesmerized by how similarly she matched her daughter’s energy. Warm, authentic, and self-assured. I shared this similarity I noticed with Colette and she explained they’re qualities she has always tried to live by and pass on to her daughters— Khari also has a younger sister. Growing up in a house with a mother who looked after her and her siblings, Colette told me she never saw anything other than
hard work and resiliency, describing the many roles she saw her mother embody in the house. “She was trying to survive and get food on the table, and a roof over our head, and make sure that we were safe and taken care of.” The story of resilience continued to be shared, as I clearly saw the family trait and took notes. “She got married young, and did not have a good marriage the first time, did not have a good marriage the second time.” Colette said it was seeing her own mother overcome these hurdles that first taught her the true meaning of strength and what it could look like. “I think it’s just ingrained into our genes that we are very resilient and strong.” Colette grew up in North Dakota but her teenage years led her to St Petersburg, Florida before settling in Tallahassee, where she graduated from Lincoln High School. While Colette said she thinks moving around as a young girl, learning to adapt to various environments, played a role in establishing her self-confidence, it was becoming a mother to Khari at just 20-years-old that really tested her every ability— to apply the strength she had been surrounded by during her childhood. “[Khari] filled a void,” said Colette. “The love you feel is a whole other level. It’s like you just explode.” Colette said she felt the strength settle inside her tenfold when she had Khari. Suddenly, nothing else mattered. “You don’t even realize that you could love this tiny little thing instantly,” said Colette. Colette would later tell me that as a teen, she had plans to attend medical school to be a physician, and she didn’t want children nor wanted to get married. It’s hard to imagine this version of Colette as I listened to her describe the steadfast bond she shares with her daughters. Becoming a mother changed Colette, creating a bond she was not expecting and inspir-
ing her to become a version of a mother that drew inspiration from her own childhood but also developed the role of the maternal figure, defining her own version of motherhood and morphing into her own unique character. “I think there’s so much testament and power in the sense of showing, realizing what you didn’t have [in your own childhood], and being able to leverage that to be a better mother,” said Colette. This commitment to motherhood meant Colette and Khari developed a special and close relationship that they still share to this day— “I get into a protective mode,” Colette said, chuckling at her attachment to Khari. It’s a connection that made seeing Khari endure the events of the past year even more challenging for Colette. “It broke me, I mean, you know, it was even to the point where I would have done anything for her.” Colette said, like Khari, she never had any trouble getting pregnant, but unlike her daughter, she never miscarried. Therefore, seeing Khari endure the events of the last year was incredibly distressing. “You don’t ever want your children to ever go through anything horrible and you want to fix it,” said Colette. “It doesn’t matter how old they get.” Therefore, even though she wasn’t experiencing them firsthand, as Khari’s mother, the events of the last year took a significant toll. “From day one, I promised her, I’m going to give you the best life possible,” said Colette. “I’m going to do everything I can for you to achieve all of your dreams.” And so, I found another reason to not be slightly surprised that Khari soldiered through last year’s challenges. It’s clear she’s inherited a fierce commitment to her family, and herself. A resiliency ingrained so deep in their genetics that it shines a new
tallahassee woman | 30 | october • november 2024
light on Khari’s story— it only makes sense that she navigated all of the hurdles to make her dreams of motherhood a steadfast reality. “I’m just so grateful that [Khari’s] so diligent in the research and was persistent, and advocated for herself,” said Colette. Fighting for what they believe in is something that runs deep in this family. Colette said Khari knew she wanted to be a lawyer from a young age. “I knew she had the right personality to advocate for victims,” said Colette. “I knew she was going to be a force of nature.” I hope Colette realizes it’s a quality they both share. While Colette’s life led her away from her initial dreams of medical school, after becoming a mother, Colette continued to pursue her healthcare dreams. She’s a reg-
istered nurse— eventually, she would start her own business, along with her husband, teaching cardiovascular care courses, connecting the community with healthcare, and being a mentor for many. “I didn’t know how to run a business,” said Colette. “I said, I’m going to give myself a year to see if this is going to work or not.” Florida Health Science Consulting, their company that began in the basement of a church, will celebrate their eighth year of business this year. Colette couldn’t be happier or prouder. “It’s truly shown and proven to be, don’t ever close doors to possibility and opportunities,” said Colette. Khari and Colette’s stories may be different from each other, but the innate values that have carried them through the trials and tribulations that life likes to test us with, are the same. With sheer grit, determination,
warmth, authenticity, you can live the life you have dreamed of, worked hard for, and deserve. When I look at this photo of joy, hope, and promise, three generations looking towards the next big step for their family, it’s hard to comprehend the hurdles they’ve overcome to get here— the ones of the past year, and also the ones to get here, to Tallahassee, to their life’s work, and to their relationships. But as life proves time and time again, at the heart of the strongest lies some of the hardest challenges, it’s how you overcome these hurdles that come to define you. That’s what I hope Khari’s new daughter takes away from her family’s story. “I think the strongest women have gone through the hardest times,” said Khari.
Work With Nadia I am committed to listening to client’s needs and utilizing my negotiating skills to ensure a successful transaction. From the initial consultation to the final keys handed over, our commitment is to make the process as luxurious and seamless. Your dream home is not just a possibility; it's a reality waiting to unfold in a space where luxury meets service.
850.756.6421 Info@NadiaNixon.com www.NadiaNixon.com
Superior Realty Group
Where Luxury Meets Service @nadianixon.realtor
tallahassee woman | 31 | october • november 2024
TRAVEL
WEEKEND WONDERS
Unveiling the Hidden Treasures of Downtown St. Petersburg
I
f you’re yearning for a weekend escapade that tantalizes the senses and awakens the spirit, look no further than the vibrant heart of downtown St. Petersburg, Florida. This sunkissed gem, often overlooked, awaits discovery with open arms and a myriad of delightful experiences. Imagine strolling down the lively Central Avenue, where the air is infused with the irresistible aroma of diverse cuisines that beckon you to indulge. From mouthwatering Spanish delights at Bodega to the refreshing, all-natural popsicles at Hyppo, every bite is a celebration of flavor. As you wander, the kaleidoscope of colors from local boutiques and artisan shops will invite you to explore the eclectic offerings of this charming city. A visit to the newly revitalized St. Pete Pier is a must! Spanning over several blocks, it’s a haven of family-friendly fun, complete with picturesque waterfront views and tantalizing dining options. Whether you’re enjoying a leisurely afternoon with your furry friends or taking in the sunset, this serene spot is perfect for creating lasting memories. You may choose to have a picnic or go for a bike ride!
Art enthusiasts will find their muse in the illustrious Chihuly Collection and the captivating Dali Museum, both showcasing otherworldly creativity. Don’t miss the monthly art stroll in the Warehouse Arts District, where local artisans proudly display their masterpieces, and the lively atmosphere is filled with live music and mouthwatering food. For the coffee aficionados, the vibrant café scene features hidden treasures like Paredeco and Kahwa Coffee, each sip a delightful journey through rich flavors. As the sun sets, let the culinary adventure continue at one of the many restaurants along Beach Drive, where divine desserts await to sweeten your evening. And let’s not forget the thrill of thrifting! Dive into the treasure troves at Retreat and Wendy’s Closet, where you can unearth designer gems at unbelievable prices. So pack your bags and get ready for an unforgettable weekend in downtown St. Petersburg—where every moment is a vibrant tapestry of art, culture, and culinary delights just waiting to be explored!
tallahassee woman | 32 | october • november 2024
BUSINESS & LEADERSHIP Girl, let’s talk about getting our affairs in order.
Dana Brooks
I
Managing Partner/Shareholder Fasig | Brooks Law Offices dana@fasigbrooks.com
If you have questions about this or any other legal topic, Dana can be reached at Fasig Brooks Law Offices, 850-777-7777. I’d be glad to help.
f you’ve been in a hospital or have undergone a medical procedure, you’ve been asked if you have a healthcare surrogate or advanced directive telling your providers how you want your healthcare managed in the event you become incapacitated. Chances are you either did not complete one or you named whoever came with you that day. But just because you trust a person to drive you home and care for you doesn’t mean they are the best choice for managing your affairs or deciding what life-saving measures will be employed if things do not go well. Without these important designations, families often face expensive legal battles, delayed medical care, and potential interpersonal conflict. A power of attorney (POA) grants a trusted person the authority to make decisions on behalf of the incapacitated individual, while a healthcare surrogate is specifically designated to make healthcare decisions. Without these documents, no one has the legal authority to act on behalf of the incapacitated person, leading to significant delays in critical decision-making. Healthcare providers are often hesitant to perform procedures or administer treatment without the explicit consent of a legally authorized representative. This can result in a delay in care and worsening of the patient’s condition. Financial matters like paying bills and managing bank accounts are left in limbo, potentially causing havoc on the patient’s life. In the absence of a POA or healthcare surrogate, families are often forced to seek court intervention to appoint a guardian to make decisions for the incapacitated person. Guardianship is a legal process where the court appoints an individual to make
tallahassee woman | 34 | october • november 2024
decisions for someone who is deemed unable to make decisions for themselves. To obtain guardianship, the family must file a petition with the court, and the process typically involves legal fees, court costs, and potentially months of waiting. The court will require medical evaluations, evidence of incapacity, and testimony from witnesses. However, it is often disputed or unclear who this designate should be. Spouses have legal preference, but that becomes murky when the spouse abandoned the patient, or they were estranged. When there are multiple siblings or children who cannot agree on a designate, the process becomes even more complicated, expensive, and emotionally tolling. Different family members may have conflicting opinions about the best course of action, particularly when it comes to medical decisions such as end-of-life care, surgical procedures, and what the patient would have wanted. These conflicts can become deeply personal, leading to long-standing rifts among family members. When this occurs, the court may appoint an independent guardian, which can lead to outcomes that do not align with the patient’s or family’s wishes. Throughout this time, essential decisions about the loved one’s care and financial matters are put off, creating even more stress and uncertainty. The absence of a POA can lead to severe financial consequences. Without a designated agent to manage the patient’s finances, bills can go unpaid, investments may be mishandled, and assets may be at risk. Access to bank accounts, retirement funds, and other financial resources is often frozen until a legal guardian is appointed, which can create financial instability for the incapacitated person and their dependents.
*sponsored content
Similarly, trying to manage healthcare costs without access to the patient’s funds can lead to mounting medical debt, unpaid bills, and potential loss of assets. The inability to make timely financial decisions can exacerbate an already difficult situation, placing an unfair burden on family members who often struggle to cover those expenses out of their own pockets.
Attention visionary business owners. Ready to elevate your brand and make a lasting impact? Join TWM, where bold ambition meets unstoppable influence. In a world driven by innovative women, TWM is your source of inspiration and connection. Picture your brand here, engaging a powerful audience that drives positive change.
Without a POA or healthcare surrogate, the incapacitated person loses the ability to have their wishes carried out in medical and financial decisions. Decisions made through court-appointed guardianship may not reflect their values, leading to choices that they might not have made for themselves. Additionally, the court process often requires disclosing private medical and financial information into the public record, which can compromise the individual’s privacy. The absence of a Power of Attorney or healthcare surrogate designation when a loved one is medically incapacitated can lead to a host of legal problems, including delayed decision-making, costly and lengthy court proceedings, family conflicts, financial instability, and a loss of autonomy for the incapacitated individual. To avoid these challenges, it is crucial for individuals to get their affairs in order ahead of time, ensuring that their wishes are honored and reducing the burden on their loved ones during an already difficult period. Proper planning can provide peace of mind and clarity, protecting both the incapacitated person and their family from unnecessary legal complications.
Visit TALWOMAN.COM to download our Media Kit or Call (850) 839-9624 to advertise with us.
Advertise with us! Visit TALWOMAN.COM to download our Media Kit or Call (850) 839-9624 to advertise with us.
tallahassee woman | 35 | october • november 2024
Pivot & Persevere By Jane Marks
L
ife for most of us is a journey filled with twist and turns, and sometimes we need to pivot to discover new paths and new direction. Embracing change is essential for personal growth and development. It allows us to adapt, learn and ultimately thrive. Being prepared is your safety net; it gives you the confidence to tackle new challenges, but also to be successful. When you’re empowered, you harness.your strength and capabilities, turning obstacles into opportunities. And getting certified in your field not only boosts your credentials, but also deepens your expertise, making you more resilient in the face of change. Passion for your field is not the only key in moving forward. Skill building along the way adds dimension and credibility to your craft. As industries evolve, having diverse skill sets allows you to adapt to new roles and responsibilities. This flexibility makes you more marketable in continuing changing landscapes. Continuous skill building, sets you apart from other experts in your field and often
leads to mentorship, collaboration, and even job opportunities. Now, let’s talk health! Pivoting and preparation aren’t just good for your career- they’re fantastic for your well-being too. When you embrace change, you reduce and anxiety, as you become more adaptable and open to new experiences. This flexibility can lead to better mental health and improved emotional resilience. Moreover , preparing for new challenges, often involves developing healthier habits. Whenever establishing a workout routine, prioritizing self-care, or learning stress management techniques, these practices enhance your physical and mental health. So, remember every pivot is a chance to grow, evolve, and redefine your goals. Embrace this journey. Stay curious and keep pushing your boundaries. You’ve got the power to create your own pathprepare, empower, and certify yourself for all the adventures ahead your mind and body will thank you for it.
tallahassee woman | 36 | october • november 2024
The Eight Five Zero
Salon Difference Our carefully chosen and highly trained staff is here to exceed your expectations. The same goes for our elegant salon space - dedicated to guest comfort - and our devotion to innovation and artistry. We're focused on making your day and continually raising the bar. We are also proud to align with Aveda's mission of ethical and sustainable business practices and its high-fashion aesthetic. We share Aveda's exceptional standards of quality products, treatments, and guest care, and everything we do reflects the standards of an Aveda Salon. MENTION TALLAHASSEE WOMAN MAGAZINE FOR $20 OFF YOUR SERVICE
•
Call Us Now
850-224-1814
EIGHT FIVE ZERO SALON
1122 T homasville Rd, Ste 6, Tallahassee, Fl 32303 eight1ivezerosalon.com
tallahassee woman | 37 | october • november 2024
tallahassee woman | 38 | october • november 2024
tallahassee woman | 39 | october • november 2024
MIND, BODY & SPIRIT
EMPOWER YOUR JOURNEY EMBRACE CHANGE, BUILD SKILLS, AND THRIVE IN EVERY ASPECT OF LIFE
T
he pressure to be productive is a powerful incentive for most of us. I don’t know about you, but my last three weeks have been an exercise in multitasking, packed schedules, and over-the-top social activities. I always tell patients: “Make sure you take time for yourself to recharge.” Unfortunately, I am like so many in that I do not follow my own advice. When that happens, your body has a way of stopping you dead in your tracks. Instead of pausing and relaxing when you should, you keep on pushing and then a health complication generally pops up. Some of my patients often share their favorite excuses for dodging downtime:
JANE MARKS WRITER Jane Marks is a licensed psychotherapist "life coach" with 50+ years of experience specializing in child and adolescent behavior. She is a motivational speaker/lecturer focusing on mental health and adolescents.
• I have too much to do, and I’m too stressed to relax right now. • I will finish after I do this one last thing—even though relaxation makes me feel stressed. • I feel guilty when I leave a job incomplete. • I’m too wired and too tired to wind down and too charged to take a rest. If any of these excuses sound familiar, perhaps this is your inner critic not allowing you to relax and reset your priorities. So, this #MentalHealthMonday, let’s take time for checking our speed and creating more space for ourselves to restore and re-energize. Consider these tips: 1. SCHEDULE IT. Treat downtime as an essential part of your routine by scheduling specific time for relaxation. Make this an essential part of your day. 2. SET BOUNDARIES. Communicate to others about your need for downtime and set boundaries to protect that time. This is also a time for you to let go and delegate. Give yourself permission to say no. 3. DISCONNECT AND UNPLUG. Start with technology, social media, and work-related activities. You’ve heard the saying, “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.” 4. DO THINGS YOU ENJOY—whether it’s reading a book or magazine, soaking in a scented bath, a walk in nature, Wordle, sitting outside in the sun, or a conversation with a friend. 5. LEAN INTO YOUR PASSIONS. Explore your creativity: paint, knit, sew, listen to music without the need to do something else at the same time. 6. TAKE CARE OF YOU. Prioritize self-care activities like sleep hygiene, exercise, diet, hydration—anything and everything that will support your well-being 7. PRACTICE MINDFULNESS. Deep breathing, meditation, and yoga will all help calm your mind and reduce stress. Reflect and recharge. Use any downtime to reflect on your thoughts and feelings, and focus on recharging your mental and emotional energy. So, let’s be intentional about downtime. It is no longer a luxury, but a crucial part of your healthcare tool box.
tallahassee woman | 40 | october • november 2024
Helping Tallahassee Embrace Your Inner Beauty since 2013 Natural & Effective Hair Removal, Traditional Hard Waxing, Sugaring, Spray Tans, Facials & Skin Treatments!
Soft Wax
Hard Wax
Sugar Wax
Facials
Book now www.barewaxingcenter.com @BAREWAXINGCTR
(850) 591-9291
1215 Lee Ave, Tallahassee Fl, 32308
A RED CARPET AFFAIR presented by
TALLAHASSEE WOMAN MAGAZINE
RM
TO S O T UE
D
tallahassee woman | 41 | october • november 2024
A
s women we give so much of ourselves – this is a fact. Not to say that the men in our lives do not contribute, because I know so many do. But at times it may feel as if it all falls on your shoulders. If you’re like me you are splitting your time between work, a nonprofit board or two and really giving yourself to anyone who you feel needs you. Through the nonstop meetings, hustle to get to and from outings and all the commitments you have, you probably didn’t realize that your cup is empty. Not that big water one you lug everywhere or your favorite coffee mug, but your metaphorical cup. The thing about not refilling your cup is that it will get empty. Once it does, the work to replenish is sometimes more daunting than the tasks that led you there. So here are a few ways to refill your cup when it starts to run low from the office to your home. If you’re going to take time off, be off: I know, it’s hard. You’re thinking of all the things you should be doing. How your team will not make it without you chiming in on that email thread. But they will. You must trust the people you hired to do exactly what you hired them for. It’s not by accident that you’ve put them in those positions. Delegate: While I know you think you’re the only one who can do it right, you’re wrong. Stop taking on those tasks your managers are more than capable of handling. Every project is not your project. Empower your team to take it on. Chances are you have someone on your team who is ready to step up and take on a new challenge. Let them. Take a breather: Getting time to yourself might feel impossible. Take a few deep breaths when things feel overwhelming. Get some air. Take a walk around the parking lot. Take your cell phone with you. If people need to reach you, they’ll find you, believe me. Give yourself a hard wrap: There will be times when you must pull 12- to 14-hour days, but those shouldn’t be all your days. Come up with a hard-stop time and head for the door. Your family will thank you. Don’t be too hard on yourself: It’s easy to beat ourselves up over the things on the to-do list that we didn’t get to. When you can start appreciating all that you have done, that mountain of things left starts to feel less scary. Will doing these things instantly make you feel like everything is going to be OK? Maybe not immediately – but it’s a good start because you can’t pour from an empty cup.
tallahassee woman | 42 | october • november 2024
REFILL YOUR CUP HOW TO BALANCE LIFE, WORK, AND SELF-CARE WITHOUT BURNING OUT
By Vicki Bradley
tallahassee woman | 43 | october • november 2024
FINDING PEACE IN THE CHAOS Two tips for busy moms seeking a balanced life
By Laci Swann
M
otherhood never stops, which means the juggling act of balancing work, home, and personal time is a persistent challenge.
Every minute of my day is accounted for. Parenting two children, one of whom has special needs, managing concurrent writing projects for my clients, and attending doctoral classes, among several other responsibilities, leaves me feeling like I’m constantly racing against the clock. Over time, though, I’ve gained a bit of wisdom and learned to approach life in a way that does not leave me grasping for a breath. Two mantras that keep me as grounded as possible may help you, too. Check them out! 1. I will keep my expectations real: Chances are, your to-do list will never be blank. So, you should not expect to live a Pinterest-perfect life. Consider your availability and gauge your energy levels. From there, keep your expectations realistic and acknowledge that everything will not be perfect day in
and day out. Laundry piling up? So be it. Clothes can wait, especially if that means you are taking solo time, spending time with your children, or partaking in something outside of the home and office. Remember — You are the CEO of your life. Prioritize your tasks accordingly and realistically. 2. I will ask for help: For years, I thought shouldering every task and responsibility made me strong when, in fact, I was creating and sustaining an unnecessary stressor. Now, I enlist the help of family members and friends, utilize a babysitter, tap into virtual mom groups for support, and embrace delivery services. Communicate your needs to people you trust and accept support when it's offered. Reminder yourself that accepting a helping hand is a sign of strength. While a balanced life may seem unattainable, maintaining a sense of balance amid chaos is entirely possible. You must recognize and address your needs. After all, taking care of yourself is not a luxury but a necessity.
tallahassee woman | 44 | october • november 2024
tallahassee woman | 45 | october • november 2024
tallahassee woman | 46 | october • november 2024
ENCOURAGING
Exploration
How to help your child find and pursue their passions
By Laci Swann
T
he fall season and the start of the school year mean your emails are ramping up — sports signups, club offerings, group events — you name it, activities are in full swing. While this may seem like the perfect time to get your children involved in sports or extracurriculars, it is essential to consider their interests. Forcing children into activities they are not excited about can lead to resentment, burnout, and a lack of motivation. But that does not mean you cannot encourage an exploration of activities to find out what truly excites them! Developing a genuine passion is vital to long-term success, far beyond their childhood. The following tips may help you help your kids uncover and participate in activities they enjoy: 1. EXPLORE INTERESTS TOGETHER: Spend time with your child exploring different activities. Attend events or read books about various sports, arts, and hobbies to see what piques their interest. 2. OFFER CHOICES: Provide a range of options to choose from. This empowers them to make a decision and feel more invested in the activity they select. 3. START SMALL: Begin with a trial class or short-term commitment. This allows your child to test the waters without feeling overwhelmed by a long-term commitment. 4. MODEL ENTHUSIASM: Show your own interest in activities and hobbies. Your enthusiasm can be contagious and inspire your child to explore their interests. 5. BE PATIENT: It may take time for your child to find their passion. Encourage them to keep trying new things and remind them it is okay to change their mind. By leading your child to find activities they love, you can help them build valuable skills, boost their confidence, and encourage a positive attitude toward self-discovery. tallahassee woman | 47 | october • november 2024
LOVE & RELATIONSHIPS
Taking Off the Masks— Creating Authentic Sisterhood By Heather Thomas
S
omething is shifting within women and in their female relationships—there’s a growing desire for deeper connections as our authentic selves, not the women we are pretending to be. We desire to take off the masks and truly be seen, heard, and accepted, no matter the scars or what we have done to others and what others have done to us. We want sisters-of-the-heart that help navigate the shadows, but also celebrate our greatest joys. As we peer into the future and what it holds for women, it is my experience that having conscious conversations holds the key to consistent authenticity and transforming our life and the lives around us. Creating authentic sisterhood is a give and take—a kind of trust-fall into a deeper awareness and love of the other because we have be-
come more aware, loving, and trusting of ourselves. However, it doesn’t come naturally. We are so used to hiding from each other because we spend so much time (sometimes all our lives) hiding from ourselves. Awakening to my own inner and outer masks came about in a friendship I never thought I would have, or even knew was possible. Our relationship has shown me what authentic and conscious sisterhood can be like, but it wasn’t easy. It’s been years of conversations, acts of courage, and having faith that we will not abandon each other when the masks come off. Here are just a few takeaways from our journey so far: 1. Being vulnerable by sharing your
fears, your heart and your truth is a superpower. It is a sacred, feminine energy that exists in both women and men. However, we are not taught that as children. In fact, most of us learned the opposite—that we need to be afraid of being vulnerable and even how to wield it as a weapon against another. This is ultimately an inward and vulnerable journey of why and where you have put on masks over your pain, victim stories, self-judgement, fear, shame, and guilt just for starters! It can be a tough and painful examination of your self-talk and the origins of your wounds. It’s also asking questions such as, “Who is the originator or creator of these thoughts? Who is the observer? What do I believe to be true about myself? Where and how am I denying myself compassion and love?” We are all repeating unconscious, unhealthy patterns of behaviors since childhood—authentic sisterhood is when we help one another see where and when we are repeating these patterns. Being vulnerable also means taking a risk of triggering another person by pointing out where you see their stuck patterns of behavior—to poke the blind spots that we all guard so fiercely. But we do it out of compassion and love because we have seen and experienced these same patterns within ourselves. It is incredibly hard to see things that we are scared to change or take responsibility for. Also, someone helping you see your unconscious patterns is them taking off a mask because
tallahassee woman | 48 | october • november 2024
they are risking your rejection and abandonment. Incredible trust is built in this back-and-forth process as we begin to accept that the other person is loving you beyond the patterns and masks, and even prefers the unmasked version of you. 2. Be patient. Authenticity within yourself is built over time, and gradually reflected outward. As you make a home inside yourself, a shelter of love and kindness, you each begin inviting the other person in. Having someone hold the light as you speak and receive each other’s fears in the open and celebrate each other’s joys (because you both realize how much courage it took to get this far) is worth the commitment. It requires you to dig deep into what is holding you back from expressing your unique authenticity. Once you begin observing your own trauma stories or painful mind and behavior patterns on repeat from a more loving, conscious place, you will begin to see each other, and all your relationships, in a more compassionate way. 3. There’s a tremendous power that comes from speaking and hearing the inner voice out loud. The pain of seeing and speaking about the places and thoughts that I have buried deep within myself, let alone show those painful places to another is daunting. But they’ve been on repeat for so long that I mistook them for my true self and voice. When you speak about those deep, hidden layers, no matter what feelings they bring up, the bond between you becomes even stronger when it is received as the treasure in the cave that it is. There have been many times when I have felt too naked, defensive, or am resistant to exploring why I’m being triggered and want to put the masks back on. However, every time I surrender to the process of feeling those emotions and tracing
them back to their roots, I am rewarded by my own inner-standing of why and how I am repeating masked patterns. I’m ready to take responsibility for my behavior and have compassion for the woman in the mirror even more. 4. Be willing to go, as my friend and I like to say, “full-on-delusion.” You are both Alice in Wonderland and can say anything at all, and nothing is off the table. No one is going to run away screaming or calling each other crazy. Dream big and speak anything into the open—any fear, belief, theory, goal or imagining that is ebbing and flowing as truth for you. My friend and I feel free to not only take off masks, but to explore beyond them. This is what’s possible when we’re not afraid to face ourselves because we have let go of the judgement and fear of the self and the other. 5. The journey to authenticity doesn’t have to be serious work all the time. As the Indigo Girls sing in their song Closer to Fine, “You helped me take my life less seriously because it’s only life after all,” my friend and I have done A LOT of laughing along the way. No one can do this inner work for me, but she can walk alongside and help me realize all the ways I take myself so seriously, and even laugh at all the untrue things I used
tallahassee woman | 49 | october • november 2024
to tell myself. We reaffirm together that the only true thing, the most important thing, is how you love yourself and others, which is really one in the same. This is a short life and all we have is the present, “now” moment. One of the greatest gifts to come from this experience is learning how to be more present with my authentic self. This has spilled over into all my relationships as I am now more present and more authentically myself with others. It is my belief we were never meant to heal these sisterhood wounds (or any relationship wound) on our own. We can tether up and go spelunking into each other’s dark caverns together. When we reemerge, it is with a deeper awareness of who we are when all the masks are gone, and to truly love and embrace the women we find there.
Heather Thomas, writer, and former Executive Editor of TWM is researching and writing a book about Authentic Sisterhood and would love to hear from you! Follow her and reach out to her @ladybluewrites on Instagram, or ladybluewrites@gmail.com.
THE ALLURE OF FLIRTING Unveiling the Art of Micro-Flirting By Dr. Michelle Mitcham, LMHC-QS
I
n a world dominated by dating apps and virtual interactions, the age-old dance of flirting may seem like a relic of the past. But fear not, for flirting remains a powerful tool in the art of attraction—when wielded wisely and authentically. The question is: Are you an introvert who prefers a more subtle approach, or do you lean towards a bolder, direct style? Understanding your unique style is the first step in mastering this enchanting art. Many dream of finding that special someone but often stumble at the starting line— how to initiate a conversation or drop the right hints to signal interest. Let’s dive into the intriguing world of flirting, specifically the delicate and teasing form known as micro-flirting, which can ignite sparks without overwhelming the senses.
Enter micro-flirting—a masterclass in nuance and mystery. This art form is a symphony of soft gestures, coy smiles, and tantalizing glances that whisper rather than shout your intentions. It’s perfect for the introverted soul, offering a way to flirt with finesse while keeping the pressure at bay. Let’s explore five enchanting strategies for micro-flirting that will leave them intrigued and wanting more:
Engaging Yet Effortless Conversation: Keep the dialogue light and playful. Listen intently, respond thoughtfully, and weave in moments of shared laughter to create a tapestry of connection.
The Captivating Glance: A fleeting look can speak volumes. Make eye contact and let that spark of recognition dance between you. It’s a discreet invitation that says, “I see you.”
Group Dynamics: Invite them into a group conversation, creating a relaxed atmosphere that allows for deeper engagement without the pressure of one-on-one intensity.
Playful Humor: Infuse your conversation with a dash of wit. A well-timed joke or a playful tease can break the ice and signal your interest in a fun way.
Expressive Subtlety: Your face can tell a story. A soft smile, a raised eyebrow, or a gentle laugh can convey warmth and interest without saying a word. Just remember, less can be more!
While some might easily exude flirtation, others may feel like they’re navigating a complex maze. Whether you’re at a cozy café or a lively bar, micro-flirting is your secret weapon. Imagine exchanging a playful comment or sharing a sweet compliment; perhaps it's the way you lean in just a bit closer, locking eyes with a knowing glance. We all recognize the unmistakable signs of intentional flirting, where someone boldly expresses their interest or suggests a date. But what if you prefer a more subtle touch?
So, whether you’re an introverted dreamer or a subtle seductress, micro-flirting offers an exciting pathway to connection. Embrace the art of this soft, yet powerful form of flirtation, and watch as the world of romance unfolds before you. Are you ready to take the plunge and explore this captivating realm? Let the dance of micro-flirting begin!
tallahassee woman | 50 | october • november 2024
W.E. INSPIRE By TWM Staff
Rise, Women, Rise
We are the daughters of fire and light, Carved from the earth, resilient in might. Through storms we bend but never break, With every step, new paths we make. Voices once silenced now boldly sing, Our words like arrows, our spirits take wing. We conquer with courage, compassion, and grace, Our power reflected in each smiling face. Bound not by chains, nor fear, nor doubt, We rise together, fierce and devout. With hands entwined, we shape our fate, Women empowered, we celebrate. For we are the dreamers, the builders, the wise— The heart of tomorrow in the world's eyes. So rise, women, rise, let your spirits soar, The future is ours, and we’ll ask for more.
DOWNLOAD OUR APP