Tallahassee Woman Magazine October/November 2021

OCTOBER / NOVEMBER 2021

BARBY MORO

g n i c a r b m E

Celebrating Hispanic Heritage

Learning to say No! JANE MARKS

G rat_3 itude

Zuppa Toscana QUIET THE NOISE

LAS CHICAS

CAREER. FAMILY. VACATION. YOU PLAN THEM ALL. BUT DO YOU HAVE A PLAN IF YOU FIND A LUMP >

WE DO.

We see you. Always planning and preparing for your future. But one thing you may not have a plan for is fighting breast cancer. The region’s most comprehensive program for cancer treatment, from diagnosis to recovery, can be your navigator. Tallahassee Memorial’s Walker Breast Program is a multidisciplinary, streamlined plan of care bringing you and expert physicians together. That’s how we quickly and aggressively fight your breast cancer: with a plan created just for you.

>

Learn more at TMH.ORG/Plan

YOU CAN STILL BRING CARE AND COMFORT TO LOCAL PATIENTS FIGHTING CANCER.

Although we can’t enjoy Cards for a Cure in person this year due to COVID-19, patients fighting cancer still need your support. Cards for a Cure generates critical funding that helps patients without health insurance access life-saving PET scans, MRIs and mammograms. Your support also helps provide lodging and transportation for patients who must travel to Tallahassee for treatments.

New patients are diagnosed daily.

Your generosity makes a life-or-death difference for them.

Give today at TMH.ORG/Cards.

BENEFITING PATIENTS AT THE TALLAHASSEE MEMORIAL CANCER CENTER

12 14

CONTENTS Contents

LETTER FROM PUBLISHER LETTER FROM GUEST EDITOR

TRENDS

16

Beauty: The Perfect Foundation Match She Say Social: Fall & Halloween Traditions Home: Top 5 Ways to Maximize Your Space

22 LIVING LOCAL

Haute Happenings: Local Tallahassee Events Around Town: 10 Things to do in Tally in October!

Community: Celebrating National Hispanic Heritage Month We Elevate: Meet Chantal English

36

42 BUSINESS

Work Life: How to Write an Elevator Speech Women to Watch: Highlighting Women Accomplishments Marketing: Video Marketing

46

WELLNESS

Mental Health: learning to Say No! Mental Health: Overthinking Healthy Living: Quiet the "Noise" h

50 FOOD

The Dish: Zuppa Toscana

TRAVEL

Madame Xhales St. Augustine, Florida

46

28

On the Cover Barby Moro Embracing Gratitude

28 ABOUT THE COVER: BARBY MORO | PHOTOGRAPHY: KIRA DERRYBERRY | HAIR: EIGHT FIVE ZERO SALON | NAILS: IMAGE NAIL SPA & SALON

tallahassee woman | 4 | october • november 2021

Welcome,

Nichole.

Nichole Kennedy Wealth Advisor kennedy.nichole@ccbg.com 850.402.7747 office

Capital City Trust Company welcomes Nichole Kennedy to our team serving Tallahassee.

Nichole Kennedy, our newest wealth advisor serving Tallahassee, specializes in handling the complex trust and investment decisions of high-net-worth individuals. She guides clients through a personalized, tailored approach to wealth management that addresses your unique needs and goals. Contact Nichole today to schedule your financial review.

www.capitalcitytrust.com Some investment products are not FDIC insured, are not bank guaranteed, and may lose value.

Gynecology & Obstetrics Associates of Tallahassee

Welcomes

Dr. Kelly Forsthoefel to the practice.

GENERATIONS CARING

for

GENERATIONS OF WOMEN

NOW ACCEPTING PATIENTS | 850-848-4628 1405 Centerville Rd, Suite 4200, Tallahassee, FL 32308 | goatallahassee.com

tallahassee woman | 6 | october • november 2021

PRP for Vag-Juvenation vulva and vagina. The patient has a few tubes of blood drawn to obtain the platelets. The platelets in the blood sample are separated in a machine and prepped for injection.

The preparation is done in-office, taking 30-60 minutes. Once processed, the platelets are referred to as “platelet rich plasma” or PRP. The PRP solution is a clear, yellow fluid and gets injected into the appropriate areas.

Platelets help to rejuvenate tissues at the cellular level. Platelets release various substances which modulate inflammation and stimulate blood vessel development. Increased blood flow can reduce scarring, increase tissue pliability, muscle strength, and nerve sensation.

Caveats:

Benefits may include:

• improved or restored urinary continence • decreased vaginal dryness • decreased genitourinary pain • relief from painful intercourse • diminished pelvic prolapse • resolve or minimization of episiotomy or childbirth scar • regression of dermatologic conditions (i.e., lichen sclerosis, psoriasis)

How is it performed?

A numbing agent is applied in advance to the patient’s

Generally, patients with better overall health have better functioning platelets. Typically, older patients have less effective platelets. Therefore, postmenopausal women getting PRP vaginal rejuvenation should consider combination therapy, such as PRP plus one or more of the following: Stem cells Exosomes Pulsed vibration therapy Hormonal replacement therapy

Results:

Improvements from PRP therapy are gradual, becoming evident between two and 12 weeks.

Urinary incontinence can improve as early as the first two weeks. Think of this treatment as turning back the biological clock.

Results can last months to years, and the procedure can be repeated at various intervals.

GE N E R AT ION S C A R ING

for

GE N E R AT ION S OF WOM E N

r.

D

D

aginal rejuvenation refers to therapy that renews vaginal tissues and improves their function and health.

The O-shot™ (its name derived from the phrase “orgasm” shot) is one such therapy. Providers trained to perform this procedure have greatly increased, allowing more women to benefit from it. Although increased sexual pleasure is a popular benefit, this therapy has many others.

el

V

Dr. Dawn Ericsson, OB/GYN

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ot h

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hite

, Dr. Jana B

ures-Fo rsthoefel

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or ly F

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For over three decades, we’ve delivered personalized care for generations of women in every stage of life.

Our physicians provide state-of-the-art care for all patients, implementing cutting-edge technology and earning awards for high success rates for VBACs. Now, we’re expanding our own family tree with the addition of Dr. Bures-Forsthoefel’s daughter Kelly to our practice.

850-848-4628 1405 Centerville Rd, Suite 4200, Tallahassee, FL 32308

tallahassee woman | 7 | october • november 2021

goatallahassee.com

Tallahassee

WOM A N

MAGAZINE

October - November 2021 • Volume 16 • Issue 5

PUBLISHER Dr. Michelle Mitcham EDITORIAL ASSISTANT Tavia Rahki CREATIVE DIRECTOR Olivia Heyward RELATIONSHIP MANAGER Cristina Carter INTERNS Ashley Dickey Sofia Jimenez Emily Burkett Amber White Julia Lehmann

CREATIVE CONSULTANT Briana Smith DIRECTOR OF PUBLIC RELATIONS Marcia Warfel DIRECTOR OF LEADERSHIP INITIATIVES Paula DeBoles-Johnson DIRECTOR OF LUXURY TRAVEL Regina Lynch Hudson

ADVERTISING For information on advertising, visit talwoman.com, call (850) 893-9624, or e-mail ads@TalWoman.com.

TALLAHASSEE WOMAN is a publication of Mitcham Media Group LLC Post Office Box 16616 | Tallahassee, FL 32317-3401 Phone (850) 893-9624 | Fax (850) 254­-7038 | info@TalWoman.com Tallahassee Woman is published six times per year and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout Tallahassee and the surrounding communities.

TALWOMAN.COM The information in this publication is presented in good faith.

The publisher does not guarantee accuracy or assume responsibility for errors or omissions.

Copyright © 2021 Mitcham Media Group LLC. All rights reserved. Reproduction, in part or in whole, without expressed written consent of the Publisher is prohibited.

tallahassee woman | 8 | october • november 2021

Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography

Advertise with us!

Visit TALWOMAN.COM to Download our 2021 Media Kit or Email Ads@Talwoman.com to advertise with us. tallahassee woman | 9 | october • november 2021

CONTRIBUTORS

Contributors

KIRA DERRYBERRY PHOTOGRAPHER Kira Derryberry is AMBER WHITE a Tallahassee-based WRITER Amber White is a student portrait photographer OLIVIA J. HEYWARD REBECCA WEAVER studying at Florida State specializing in families, WRITER headshots and boudoir JANE MARKS University. Currently WRITER Olivia Heyward, owner Rebecca Weaver serves and commercial WRITER working in the digital of a OH Creative Jane Marks is a licensed as a news reporter and media industry, she loves photography. She books locally in Tallahasee psychotherapist and “life Boutique has nearly 12 on-air personality for the seeing the process it Steve Harvey Morning years experience as a coach” with more than takes to go from an idea and is available for brand designer, Olivia’s Show and guest chef for to a reality. With that in travel worldwide. View 50 years of experience Kira's portfolio online at specializing in child and background and graphic WCTV’s “Good Morning mind, she is extremely Show.” Rebecca has design and brand kiraderryberry.com adolescent behavior. She excited to become a worked nationally and development provides works as the host for part of the Tallahassee internationally, inspiring a fresh perspective for “From the Heart” and Woman Magazine. positive change. She not only from a design the Mental Health and hopes to inspire others aspect but for branding to live a life they can Wellness expert for the Black News Channel. Jane strategy as well. She be proud of, one that promotes peace, respect is a motivational speaker is also partnered with for diversity. and lecturer with a focus Tallahassee woman magazine as creative on mental health and director. adolescents.

SOFIA JIMENEZ WRITER Sofia Jimenez, FSU freshman, majoring in English Literature, Media & Culture. Having been enamored with reading and writing since she was little; excited to be on the path - striving to change the course of the world, one word at a time.

CRISTINA CARTER WRITER Cristina Carter, Tallahassee native, fluent in Spanish Teaches Multicultural Dimensions of Film and 20th Century Culture at Florida State University. She codirected/ co-produced the documentary, "Las Chicas" about a group of classy local Latinas who find sisterhood and community in the south.

REGINA LYNCHHUDSON WRITER Veteran publicist and luxury lifestyle experience-aholic, Regina Lynch-Hudson, pens MadameXhales, slated towards the vintage of woman that enjoys more time to travel.MadameXhales explores destinations, cruises, resorts, spas and extracurricular activities.

EMILY BURKETT WRITER Emily Burkett is a DR. DAWN ERICSSON senior at Florida State WRITER University majoring in Dr. Dawn Ericsson is a Editing, Writing, and graduate of Yale University Media with a minor and State University of New York’s medical school. in Communication.

She loves storytelling In 2016, she was voted Tampa’s #1 OB/GYN and and highlighting individuals who would is certified in Hormone have otherwise gone Replacement Therapy, Sexual Dysfunction, and unnoticed and sharing a multitude of Aesthetics those unique stories. services. Currently, Emily is currently Dr Ericsson is the working as an intern Medical Director at Age for Tallahassee Woman Rejuvenation. She holds Magazine. membership in Alpha Kappa Alpha Sorority and Jack and Jill of America.

tallahassee woman | 10 | october • november 2021

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tallahassee woman | 11 | october • november 2021

From the

PUBLISHER

& e d u t Grati race G

I

t’s important to take time to exhale and reflect on all the great things and people we have in our lives. We are living in trying times filled with fear of the unknown or the future. Taking a moment to be thankful for the meaningful things to you can be empowering. I start each day being thankful for my blessings, my faith, family, friends, and community. In challenging times, it is so important to show and demonstrate gratitude and grace. Life is not easy, and no one said that it would be. With the ongoing pandemic that has presented many challenges such as loss of loved ones, health, and employment modifications, practicing gratitude and grace can be difficult. I am thankful that we live in a supportive, kind community of caring people, where we call home - Tallahassee. Through it all, community members, neighbors, family, and friends have shown up for each other. Let’s continue to embrace all those that make a difference in our lives.

October is Breast Cancer Awareness Month, so please support the community in raising awareness of this disease and help women have access and receive the help they need. The Thanksgiving month and season start in November, and many will be celebrating family and taking time to be grateful.

an, Barby Moro, learned to embrace grace and gratitude from her loving family and core values learned from her Cuban heritage. TWM recognizes National Hispanic Heritage Month and the great contributions from our diverse community members and leaders, such as Barby, the CEO of RedEye Coffee.

I am sure you will love her story captured by Dr. Gwen Singleton, our esteemed guest editor who is a Professor of Psychology at Florida Agricultural and Mechanical University.

I am thankful for all the women in Tallahassee that illuminate their circles of influence and lift up other women, inspiring them to be their best. We need empowered women to continue empowering women.

During this Thanksgiving season and beyond, reflect on all the blessings in your life and take time to let others know how much you love them. Lead with light and love.

Wishing you light and love,

Dr. Michelle Mitcham

Our dynamic cover wom-

Photo by Kira Derryberry Photography

R.E.D. ROLLOUT Remember those roller skates that you bought at the beginning of quarantine? It’s time to lace them up and head over to Skate World!

On the 4th Thursday of the month (10.28.2021), we’re inviting all R.E.D. (resilient, empowered, and determined) women for a night of Fierce and Flexy fun. For only $10, you get admission and a pair of skates to wear for the evening. Whether you’re a seasoned skater or a beginner looking to sharpen up your skills, we’re looking forward to seeing you!

Skate World

2563 Capital Circle NE, TLH 32308 ADULT SKATE NIGHT

community.

Photo by Jennifer Powell Photography

guest EDITOR

“

The heart of Tallahassee-Leon is clear. We are a

T

Barby Moro, Managing Partner and CEO for RedEye Coffee, is among those positive people in our community. Barby and I met as members of the Tallahassee/Leon County Commission on the Status of Women and Girls. She is consistently a passionate and kind team player. A person who is easy to talk to, and her laughter brightens the room! She loves people, especially her family, community, and her employees.

She regularly states that because of them, her work does not feel like work. I recently had the honor of interviewing Barby for this issue.

Her vision, compassion, work, and community service undoubtedly contribute to the strength of our community.

he strength of our community is revealed in who we are and what we do in times of prosperity and in those times of challenge. The Tallahassee-Leon County area has pivoted and reimagined traditional

activities during these challenging and ever-changing Dr. Gwendolyn Singleton times. The heart of Tallahassee-Leon is clear. We are a community. We salute our healthcare professionals, educators, essential workers, business owners, community leaders, volunteers, and every citizen who continues to support, empower, and advance our community. We are a resilient community because of you. We thank you.

I encourage our community to continue to invest time and energy into the community and our neighbors. I also invite you to pause daily to invest time and positive energy in yourself. We have a tremendous capacity to learn, grow, and thrive, especially when faced with a challenge.

I encourage you to seek positive people and positive spaces intentionally. tallahassee woman | 14 | october • november 2021

Dr. Gwendolyn Singleton, Professor, Department of Psychology at Florida A&M University. She earned a Ph.D. in Neuropsychology, Howard University; a nationally certified Mental Health First Aid instructor; regional Institutional Representative Coordinator, ACE Women’s Network of FL.

L A U 1 1

T H

A

N

N

October 21, 2021 5:00 - 8:00 p.m.

Tallahassee Community College Performing Arts Theatre The Oasis Center for Women & Girls is proud to announce the 11th Annual Celebration of Women & Girls. This family friendly, fun-filled event showcases local female artistic talents of all kinds — from music to poetry and comedy and everything in between. In addition, guests enjoy food donated by local restaurants, a cash wine and beer bar and an expansive on-line silent auction and live raffle.

The Celebration supports the important work of The Oasis Center for Women & Girls, whose work creates a community culture where women and girls from all walks of life are engaged, empowered, and celebrated.

Programs offered include Girls Circles, a program to increase resiliency in girls; Women Can Run, which encourages women to run for elected office; Trailblazers, which increases awareness of women’s contribution in history; Girls Can Do Anything Summer Camp; Single Moms’ Support Group; and much more.

VIP Packages and tickets can be purchased at: GiveBox.com/Celebration

Thank you to our sponsors

Early bird ticket price is $40 through October 11

Information about sponsorships is available by calling 850-222-2747.

OASIS BOARD OF DIRECTORS

Trends TRENDS

F

inding your perfect match is a challenging endeavor for most women. The choices are abundant, confusing, and you can't sample most product lines. We wander the rows of makeup, are completely overwhelmed, and end up buying the wrong thing, wasting time and money.

tices for foundation purchasing with ease in any season.

First, we need to understand our skin's undertone. Once you determine the undertone, move to shade depth, usually ranging from light to dark, indicated by adjectives like light, medium, dark, or numbers.

Although consumers are unaware, most cosmetic companies follow this same matching protocol: undertone first, shade second.

This is how I explain it to my clients.

Which one best describes you?

Moving "lighter" or "darker" in preparation for a season change isn't as simple as it sounds as we continue to struggle for the elusive perfect match.

Here are my best prac-

PINK- I have pink or peach skin, freckles and typically only burn when exposed to the sun, which causes me to avoid it.

Determining your best makeup match for every season.

By Lisa Davis, Makeup Artist

Some pinks can build up a tan, which naturally brings out freckling and causes a ruddy, deep-red complexion.

Deeper-toned African American skin may also use a dark pink undertone foundation. Pink foundations will typically use words that indicate cool tones like "beige, porcelain, rose, fair, blush, bisque, and cool."

YELLOW- I have olive or golden skin, no freckles, but prone to sunspots/damage, tan easily, and rarely burn.

Most mid-toned African American skin types are yellow/orange foundation. Yellow foundations will typically indicate warmth, using words like "warm, golden, honey, sun-kissed, and sand."

NEUTRAL- I am an even mix of yellow and pink. I range from fair to slightly tan, but building a tan takes time, and I typically burn first or don't attempt to get sun at all.

Neutral foundations will use words such as "neutral, buff, or ivory."

Need additional makeup help? Contact Image By Lisa to schedule. Foundation matching sessions are complimentary. For daily makeup tips and tricks, follow me on Instagram @imagebylisa. www.imagebylisa.com

tallahassee woman | 16 | october • november 2021

Faves & Raves 1

Wonsaponatime Vintage Levi Jeans Ranging from $30-$90 (850) 778-2188 636 McDonnell Dr, Tallahassee, FL 32310

2

1

Bee's Knees Honey - $10 (8oz bottle) 1034 Commercial Dr, Tallahassee, FL 32310

3

6

2

Crystal Portal Moldavite - Ranging from $30-$300+ (850) 727-8214 1026 Commercial Dr, Tallahassee, FL 32310

4 4

Cap City Video Lounge Theater Rental - $80 for two hours (850) 765-0147 675 Industrial Dr, Tallahassee, FL 32310

5

Fat Cat Books Rocky Mountain Sunset Earrings - $15 (850) 980-0915 647 McDonnell Dr, Tallahassee, FL 32310

6

3

Curio Cherry Earrings - $18 (850) 766-9670 1046 Commercial Dr, Tallahassee, FL 32310

6 tallahassee woman | 17 | october • november 2021

Trends |

She says social

She says Social

Q

What's your favorite fall or halloween tradition?

Fires and s’mores!!

Briana Sealy Photography

FSU Basketball! (Family tradition)

@doctorasha

How excited my kids get receiving candy that they put in the closet and forget about.

MUMS, WINE, MAKING EVERYTHING SMELL LIKE PUMPKIN SPICE, AND HOCUS POCUS. Melissa Christina

Dana Giove

I love watching the entire Harry Potter movie series with my son … maybe more than a couple times!

A family costume theme every year! Last year was a Harry Potter theme, this year it’s Hunger games. Even our Boston Terrier gets a costume every year.

@froplusfashion tallahassee woman | 18 | october • november 2021

@steamwithmrscornais

Helping you achieve your goals has always been ours Congratulations to Jennifer Rupert for being named to the Forbes’ “Top Women Wealth Advisors” 2021 list.

Rupert & Associates Jennifer Rupert, CPFA, CFA®, CFP® Managing Director Wealth Management Advisor 850.599.8945

Merrill Lynch Wealth Management 1276 Metropolitan Boulevard Suite 201 Tallahassee, FL 32312 fa.ml.com/rupertandassociates

Source: The Forbes “America’s Top Women Wealth Advisors” list, March 24, 2021. Data provided by SHOOK™ Research, LLC. Data as of September 30, 2020. The Forbes “America’s Top Women Wealth Advisors” ranking was developed by SHOOK Research and is based on in-person, virtual and telephone due diligence meetings to evaluate each advisor qualitatively, a major component of a ranking algorithm that includes: client impact, industry experience, review of best practices and compliance records, firm nominations; and quantitative criteria, including: assets under management and revenue generated for their firms. Investment performance is not a criterion because client objectives and risk tolerances vary, and advisors rarely have audited performance reports. Rankings are based on the opinions of SHOOK Research, LLC and not indicative of future performance or representative of any one client’s experience. Rankings and recognition from Forbes are no guarantee of future investment success and do not ensure that a current or prospective client will experience a higher level of performance results, and such rankings should not be construed as an endorsement of the advisor. Neither Forbes nor SHOOK Research receives compensation in exchange for placement on the ranking. Forbes is a trademark of Forbes Media LLC. All rights reserved.

Merrill Lynch, Pierce, Fenner & Smith Incorporated (also referred to as “MLPF&S” or “Merrill”) makes available certain investment products sponsored, managed, distributed or provided by companies that are affiliates of Bank of America Corporation (“BofA Corp.”). MLPF&S is a registered broker-dealer, registered investment adviser, Member SIPC and a wholly owned subsidiary of BofA Corp.

Investment products: Are Not FDIC Insured Are Not Bank Guaranteed May Lose Value The Bull Symbol is a registered trademark of Bank of America Corporation.

CFA® is a registered trademark of the CFA Institute. Certified Financial Planner Board of Standards Inc. owns the certification marks CFP® and CERTIFIED FINANCIAL PLANNER™ in the U.S. © 2021 Bank of America Corporation. All rights reserved.

MAP3540669 | AD-06-21-0104.B | 471003PM-0420 | 06/2021

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tallahassee woman | 19 | october • november 2021

Trends |

TOP 5 WAYS TO

HOME

L

MAXIMIZE

earn to be a minimalist

tables with built-in drawers underneath. Any sort of furniture that you can use for multiple Do your best to only keep the essentials things are great to have in your home. Personally, in your home and frequently get rid of unused items and clothing. Keeping your I use my pantry to store multiple kitchen items, space decluttered and minimalistic is a great way including silverware. to make your home feel bigger.

Use multipurpose furniture

This one is pretty self-explanatory. Futons that fold into beds, chairs with internal storage, or

Projectors instead of televisions

Projectors take up almost no space and are easily portable. Since most landlords don’t allow you to hang things like televisions on the wall,

tallahassee woman | 20 | october • november 2021

YOUR SPACE

By Amber White

projectors are always a great alternative. You can project your movies and TV shows right onto a blank wall, or use a pull down screen. I personally use a pull down screen over my closet doors so that I can utilize every wall in my room.

Build up

If you have high ceilings, sleep on a loft bed. Loft beds allow you to put a desk or couch under the bed, which allows for more space when you are not

using your bed. Additionally, using higher spaces for storage can be very useful.

For example, you can use shelves for books or hooks to hang your guitar.

Color code your space One of my favorite things about decorating in a small space is using an organized variety of colors to distinguish areas of my home. Some green tones in your bedroom area complimented with brown tones in your living room area can make your small space seem larger and more lively. tallahassee woman | 21 | october • november 2021

HAUTE

happenings

Local LIVING Living LOCAL

Outdoor Headphone Yoga

Multiple Dates throughout October 1st- October 29th Goodwood Museum & Gardens 1600 Miccosukee Road Tallahassee, FL 32308 Want to experience yoga in a fun new way? Outdoor Headphone Yoga allows everyone to hear the instructors and music all while being spread out and enjoying the outdoors! All levels are welcome to participate! Sign up and select a date here: https://www.eventbrite. com/e/outdoor-headphone-yoga-atgoodwood-museum-gardens-tickets149797954715?aff=ebdssbdestsearch

2021 Tally Tango

October 2nd, 2021, 7:00 AM- October 3rd, 2021, 10:00 PM Location: Weems Road Mini Trailhead Parking Lot 3430 Weems Rd Tallahassee, FL 32317 Grab your bike and get ready to go on the ride of a lifetime! The Tallahassee Tango routes are interestingly one of the first bikepacking routes in the Florida Panhandle! Find out how to get involved: eventbrite.com

Brats, Beers, & Cheers!

October 2nd, 2021 12:00 PM- 3:00 PM Publix GreenWise Market on Gaines 625 West Gaines Street Tallahassee, FL 32304 For adults 21 and over, this local event is the perfect take on Oktoberfest.

Enjoy specials on local beers, live music, games, giveaways and even house-made bratwurst sausages!

Mark your calendars so you don’t miss out!

2021 Corporate Cup Challenge

October 9th, 2021 Starts at 7:15 AM Maclay Gardens State Park 3450 Thomasville Rd Tallahassee, FL 32309 The 13th Annual Corporate Cup Challenge invites you to bring your coworkers and families to have a fun time competing for awards! There are plenty of outdoor activities to challenge you and get you to be active! Purchase tickets to an event you can’t miss: eventbrite.com

4th Annual Kid Biz Fair

October 9th, 2021 1:00 PM- 4:00 PM Bannerman Crossings Shopping Center 3425 Bannerman Rd Tallahasse, FL 32312 The Annual Kid Biz Fair is where children can be creative and show off their own products and services and keep all the proceeds! It is a great way to have fun with your family and interact with other locals! Purchase tickets here: eventbrite.com

Storytime at The Grove Museum October 13th, 2021 Starts at 10:00 AM

tallahassee woman | 22 | october • november 2021

The Grove Museum 902 North Monroe St Tallahassee, FL 32303 Join the Grove Museum’s reading of Marjory Saves the Everglades: The Story of Marjory Stoneman Douglas

by Sandra Neil Wallace. Bring a picnic lunch and enjoy the museum’s grounds with family, friends, and locals!

Fri-DAY Soiree “Mask Off” Garden Groove October 29, 2021 3:00 PM- 8:00 PM Parkside at the Edison 470 Suwanee St Tallahassee, FL 32301

Get your elegant on at the “Mask Off” Soiree! There will be music, fancy dresses and suits, and beautiful scenery! Located in the grassy area behind the Edison Restaurant, enjoy a fun night out with friends and family!

Purchase tickets here: fridaysoiree21.eventbrite.com

2021 Charity Golf Tournament November 5th, 2021 Starts at 8:00 AM Hilaman Golf Course 2737 North Blair Stone Rd Tallahassee, FL 32301

Join the Bradfordville Kiwanis Charity Golf Tournament to have fun and give back to the community! All the proceeds will go to the Lighthouse Children’s Home here in Tallahassee.

Grab some friends and give it your best shot!

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tallahassee woman | 23 | october • november 2021

Living Local |

around town

AROUND TOWN

Top Ten Things to do in Tally in 1At⃣ Christ Pumpkin Patch Picking Presbyterian

Location: 2317 Bannerman Road, Tallahassee FL, 32312

2circus.fsu.edu ⃣ FSU Circus Halloween Series Fall 2021 3Visit⃣ Bake Halloween Treats website for inspiration

October!

delish.com

4At⃣ Orchard Visit a Local Farm Stand Pond

400 Cedar Hill Rd, Tallahassee, FL 32312 orchardpond.com

5One⃣ Visit Terror of Tallahassee of the biggest haunted attractions in Florida!

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6The⃣ Watch “October” Movies! movies are nostalgic, cheesy, and scary!

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8facebook.com/events/339289741103193 ⃣ Visit Cat Fest 9tallyhayrides.com ⃣ Go on a Hayride 1auntlouisesfarm.com ⃣ 0⃣ Visit a Corn Maze tallahassee woman | 24 | october • november 2021

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Living Local |

community

Celebrating National

HISPANIC HERITAGE MONTH Las Chicas: Celebrating 30 Years

I

remember growing up in Tallahassee, and one Christmas, my mother's family from Venezuela decided to send us a present in the mail. However, they didn’t know our exact address and instead just listed: The Gonzalez Family – Tallahassee, FL as the address. Would you believe that we received the present because we were indeed the only Gonzalez family in Tallahassee? A lot has changed since my childhood years, but as the cliché saying goes, some things never change, like a sisterhood.

In 2018 I had the opportunity to film a documentary, “Las Chicas” about a group of local classy Latina’s who reside in Tallahassee and have formed a sisterhood they like to refer to as “las chicas”. Offering a space where they can

speak in their native tongue and eat favorite dishes from home, they made Tallahassee their home away from home with the help of each other.

I joined them a few weeks ago for their weekly chicas dinner, as pictured above. I loved hearing about how they donate to charities such as the Marion Medical Mission (MMM) that help children living in poverty obtain clean drinking water with the help of local organizations like the Tallahassee Woman’s Club. They are celebrating their 30th anniversary this year, so join me in celebrating with them in honor of Hispanic Heritage Month! I think we all have a little chica in us.

(L-R) Lucila Gongora: Costa Rica. Margarita Erazo: El Salvador. Betty Rodriguez: Colombia. Thais Gonzalez: Venezuela. Gloria Zapata: Colombia. Martha DelMoral: Puerto Rico

tallahassee woman | 26 | october • november 2021

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ON T H E C OV E R

BARBY

MORO g n i c a r b E m itude G rat_3

By Gwendolyn Singleton | Photography Kira Derryberry

B

arby Moro describes herself as "rough around the edges" and further adds that "I talk with my hands a lot and break out into random dance moves which means I'm often knocking things down around me." In the years that I have known Barby, in addition to her fun and authentic nature, she is a wise, confident, kind, approachable, and hard-working team player with a passion for community building. She is consistently working to enhance our community. She does this through community organizing, advocacy, and development. Her efforts reflect her desire to build a strong community with unity, cooperation, value, and respect for everyone. In my recent conversation with her, it became clear that her community-building journey is one guided by joy and gratitude.

Joy and Gratitude in Family Barby learned to embrace gratitude

from those who poured into her.

Those individuals filled her life with joy and a responsibility to pour back into others and the community. "All that I am, I owe," a powerful message of gratitude and responsibility from Barby as she reflects on the sacrifices of her ancestors and of her parents.

As Cuban immigrants, her parents provided perspective, a sense of community, and identity as individuals and members of her community.

Overflowing with immense love, respect, and gratitude, Barby recalls how hard her parents worked to provide a happy home, quality education, and a sense of community for their family.

night shift and often worked overtime.

Her mother was a factory worker who assembled pacemakers. She recalls that her parents did not have overlapping work shifts; her father would get off work at 3:00 am and her mother would go into work at 5:00 am.

Nonetheless, they prioritized making time to love, nurture, teach, and help with homework. "Now as a parent and a partner, I recognize the huge sacrifice my parents made for us."

As an adult, she now has a greater appreciation, not only for the level of sacrifice her parents were making but for the love and joy exemplified in providing for their family and building community.

Barby reminisces on waking early to joyous salsa music, cleaning and working together, enjoying Cuban food, and receiving help with homework from both parents. Her father, a postal worker, worked the

Barby's mother, a woman of strength, joy, and lively laughter, was a valuable source of support, encouragement, and the guide for Barby and her siblings' sense of right and wrong.

Barby learned many life lessons from

tallahassee woman | 29 | october • november 2021

ON T H E C OV E R her mother, importantly, she learned to be a strong, authentic, and happy woman. "I laugh too loud all the time and I love it because I have my mother's laugh." This joy and sense of community is reflected in Barby's family life inside and outside of their home. Barby recalls going around to older neighbors' homes and "paying our respects," as they went visiting, checking on, and delivering fruit and other necessities to them.

Barby's father created teachable moments at unexpected times and places, like when they were at the grocery store during their Saturday morning shopping trips. His lessons had focused on seemingly small things, like orange juice. He made a point of helping her understand and appreciate the hands and the work required for the orange juice they consumed -- from the orange farmers, the picking, juicing, packaging, shipping, shelving, and to the cashiers who processed their purchase. Highlighting that each person is valuable in the process, is an integral part of the community, and is worthy of respect as human beings.

"The important thing to remember is that we are not alone on an island here, and that something like orange juice is the product of hundreds of hands and people that have worked. What a world we live in, that we can work toward a common purpose and others benefit. Remember that nothing is owed to you. You must work hard for what you get. Don't lose sight that it's not about you. If we work together, all of our contributions will allow us to be the best versions of ourselves."

This is among the foundational lessons Barby received from her parents. Her parents instilled in her the importance of honoring her ancestors, working hard,

helping and respecting others regardless of their status in life, and showing gratitude for community members and those investing in you. The lessons are influential in how Barby lives her life today as a business owner and in her every day. She remains mindful that all jobs are important and contribute to collective success. For that, she is joyful and grateful. "My father taught me the power of gratitude and my mother taught me the power of joy."

Joy and Gratitude in Self Discovery An important milestone in Barby's development was attending an allgirls private high school. Because her mother worked an early shift, Barby was taken to school before the school opened. Members of their community on the janitorial and kitchen staff welcomed and looked after Barby before school hours. The janitors would unlock the school gate and let her into her classroom so she could nap before school. They would wake her before the school opened so that she could blend in when others arrived.

"They had my back! They were my crew!" Later Barby rode to school with friends. The valued janitorial and kitchen staff remain important reminders of her joy and gratitude for her community that watched over her when she needed it.

Barby felt privileged attending this private school because this opportunity is not often available for a working-class family. She realizes more now what the tuition bill meant for her parents. Through her parents' acts of love, Barby learned "what sacrifice really means," "what putting family first really means," and the importance of treating everyone with respect and the importance of community.

Because of this foundation and her lived experiences, she understands

joy and gratitude.

Attending an all-girls high school contributed to her identity as a young woman significantly.

She was exposed to genderspecific education, with lessons and experiences that became instrumental to her development as a young lady. She learned about developing and maintaining healthy female relationships and dynamics. She also learned about the "power of all female spaces," and how to successfully navigate and value these spaces. This education shaped her experiences and expectations for female relationships.

Her college years shattered these expectations when she was exposed to negativity and toxic situations, which in her personal assessment did not make sense. These negative encounters conflicted with her beliefs about female interactions and threatened to disrupt her joy. But her experiences and a strong foundation prepared her to navigate these unfamiliar waters.

Guided by joy and gratitude, Barby became drawn to women and girls' issues, issues affecting people with disabilities, and community service. She connected with femalecentered organizations with strong women and began volunteering.

Once again, she found her community, forged solid and healthy relationships, and worked in the service of the community. "There's joy to be found in service." Barby describes that she feels blessed that she has been, and still is, surrounded by amazing women throughout her life to remind her of who she is at her core and to be true to who she is.

Finding Joy and Gratitude After Tragedy Barby bravely and openly shared about two pregnancy losses. The first loss was early in the pregnancy

tallahassee woman | 30 | october • november 2021

“

If we work together, all of our contribut ions will allow us to be the best versions of ourselves"

tallahassee woman | 31 | october • november 2021

ON T H E C OV E R term, and the second was later in her pregnancy term. "Both were tragic, the second was traumatizing."

She describes that society's reactions to pregnancy loss are typically negative or dismissive. Barby notes that the term "miscarriage" suggests that something is wrong with the mother or that the mother is to blame.

Consequently, mothers experience a lot of shame and guilt and may think and believe "something is wrong with me." "Which is not true." Pregnancy losses occur more frequently than publicized. The losses are not made public because grieving parents often find it challenging to discuss.

Also, the grieving process may be complicated if those in their social or professional circle do not consider the loss a "real loss." She explains that grieving parents are expected to act as if nothing has happened after a few days off work. Further, there's no "pregnancy loss leave" to facilitate time for healing.

The expectation to rush the grieving process, suppress, ignore, or avoid addressing the loss and the associated emotions interfere with a healthy grieving process. Parents who are brave enough to disclose their pregnancy loss are typically faced with blank, flat, awkward, or insensitive expressions, and remarks.

Instead, "what if they would wrap you in love?" Or if they would ask, "did you give your child a name" or say, "I'll light a candle for you tonight." "Something that acknowledges that your loss was real and that the life lost mattered."

Barby suggests to even "maybe have a ceremony of some kind to help with healing." "Community support is important."

Barby also expressed that we do not provide adequate focus on the fear following the pregnancy loss.

A fear associated with self-doubt and unanswered questions of "Will

this happen again? Do I want to risk it? Is something wrong with me? Is nature trying to stop this?" Barby emphasized that "fear is the thief of joy." It is important to be open to life while being mindful of mental health.

Mental health concerns following a loss are real. Help is available, and recovery is possible. Barby advises "finding your anchor, aligning actions with your purpose and passion, and connecting with positive people and community service to increase joy."

Joy and gratitude are at her center, even in the most challenging moments. Amid these life-altering losses, Barby's appreciation for her son and her partner, Justin, grew. Her community: Justin, her family, and friends "poured into and wrapped me in love." "Justin is the sunshine of my life, and our son fills my life with magical curiosity." Barby, Justin, and their son are now expecting a baby girl! They are overjoyed to welcome the new addition to their family. "If you're going to share my joy, you need to realize that it comes cracked … and it still is beautiful!"

The Next Evolution of Joy and Gratitude "I'm looking forward to the next evolution of joy. I think that there can be so many layers and your journey can be so full. If you are open to it, it will automatically fulfill things that you didn't even know that you wanted or needed. Just being open to the journey and not being boxed in to 'shoulda,' 'coulda,' 'woulda,' or what your life is supposed to look like, or how you were supposed to do things will take you far. I've never been a big 'supposed to' person. I've been a 'why and why not' person."

when she pictures herself "watching my husband be a father to a girl" and witnessing the very special relationship that she's certain they will have. Barby beams as she imagines "watching my son be a sibling" and the special relationship they will have.

Excitement fills the room as she paints the picture of them all "growing as a family, how we present our family unit as a community and the things that we will do to build the community to pour into others and being open to what others will pour into us." Barby anticipates "different forms of joy" on this journey of learning, growing, and living life.

Barby Moro's community-building journey is far from over. She is motivated by the weight of the sacrifices of her ancestors and her parents. She explains that she has so much to live up to in that regard.

She has the "responsibility to raise a good man in this world, to be a good neighbor, business owner, employer, and civic servant." She strives to make her family and all in her community proud. She wants kindness to be her legacy more than anything else. She hopes that this legacy will remind others to pay it forward and help them realize that positivity, joy, and kindness are just as contagious as negativity. "If you're going to be viral, let joy be the contagion."

"I am where I am today because those who came before me broke down barriers and walls, they sacrificed, and they knew their purpose. I was their purpose. My purpose is for those who will come after me, making the past proud, and paying my dues for the future."

Envisioning her next chapter, Barby is anticipating newfound joy in being the mother of a girl and the new experiences that accompany her new family dynamics. She lights up tallahassee woman | 32 | october • november 2021

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Living Local |

WE ELEVATE

WE Elevate

Meet Chanta l

BY CRISTINA CARTER

I

had a blast catching up with local spa owner Chantal English. It’s always refreshing to hear from a successful business owner, but it is especially nice to hear it from someone as driven as Chantal. She explained that since the age of seven, she knew her goal in life was to help others.

She quickly realized she could do this through means of massage therapy, and her journey started there. Mixed with her drive for bettering others, we can see how she is assisting the Tallahassee community firsthand at her new location, Remedy Spa. Here are some other questions I asked during our chat:

"To those women who doubt themselves, what is your advice to them if they’re thinking about branching out on their own?"

“If you truly believe in yourself, go for it. If you don’t, work on it. Use therapy-affirming medi-

tation to build yourself up, THEN go for it, and don’t be afraid of failure. If you put your heart into it and do what you want to do, you will learn and grow no matter what."

"You have a great rapport with your customers. Tell us about how you have developed the special gift to connect with so many diverse people?"

"Being the only child of a dad who worked in the military, we moved a lot.

Usually, I was an outsider and had to create my own way to make friends. My mother also passed away when I was a teen after her battle with cancer, and I had an emotionally abusive (ex) stepmother.

Life threw some hard things my way, so a little kindness went a long way.

I always wanted to be the kind of person who would be that friendly face or shoulder to lean on for others. I’m also infuriated by hate and prejudice for the same reason. So,

loving people well is what I try to do if you’re my client or anyone I meet.

Connections form when you are willing to take everyone as they are, and even deeper when you are you- authentically. There’s something about massaging people in the intimate setting that comes with it, that connects you anyway. It’s those connections, the beautiful souls that enter my spa, and getting to immediately help ease someone’s painthat’s why I love what I do."

"Are you living your dream?"

"I’m almost there. Working with people, the way I do, is the real dream, and that’s what I am doing, so in that sense, absolutely.

However, I’ve got big plans to grow and give back.

The most fulfilling dream I could accomplish is to truly be able to give back with my time, and financially to my community."

tallahassee woman | 34 | october • november 2021

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T R AV E L F E AT U R E

St. Augustine, Florida

By Regina Lynch-Hudson Photography by Courtland Bivens III

St. Augustine, FL, the oldest city in the USA is a sublimely sedate spot, to sidestep the season’s swarm of Baywatch bodies and stuffed-to-capacity haunts in more youth-infested spots in Miami and West Palm Beach. Dotted with 42 miles of pristine Atlantic Beaches, St. Augustine is a refreshingly laidback destination, boasting topstar restaurants, museums, and a magnetic multiplicity of activities, cast in a charming old-world setting.

The quaint waterside Bayfront Marin

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Having sailed on yachts, motorboats, cruise ships, canoes, kayaks, gondolas and every vessel imageable couldn’t prepare me for the thrill of cruising Matanzas Bay aboard a seafaring tiki hut! Exciting excursions at Cruisin' Tikis last 90 or

tallahassee woman | 36 | october • november 2021

180 minutes, with custom jaunts available. www.cruisintikisstaugustine. com

Going with the flow and taking life with a grain of salt (literally) cast me in a zen-like Salt Cave packed with over 25,000 pounds of Himalayan Crystal Salt. Healing salt is jam-packed with 84 therapeutic minerals, dispersed in micro-particles into the cave’s magical atmosphere.

Afterwards, I surrendered to the calmth of a space-capsule-like floating tank, filled with soothing, warm salt water. Just what my nearly 6-feet of fatigued limbs needed! The buoyancy of the capsule is produced with a formula of purified water and a ton of Epson salt, allowing patrons to drift afloat inside the peaceful pod. You glide atop a cushion of salt water maintained at skin

tallahassee woman | 37 | october • november 2021

T R AV E L F E AT U R E

temperature. The capsule’s lid can be left open for those who are prone to claustrophobia. (Slam it shut — drown out the noise!) saltaugustine.com/salt-cave/

Paddle boarding at Matanzas Inlet, one of the most picturesque coastlines in Florida proved to be an exuberant adventure! The inlet, sandwiched between two barrier islands and the mainland, connects the Atlantic Ocean and the south end of the Matanzas River. Alas, the inlet is not stabilized by jetties, and is reportedly subject to shifting.

As a first time paddle boarder, I whispered a silent prayer, “Lawdy, please, puh-leeze, puuuleeeze, don’t let these currents shift — leaving me up “poo” creek without a paddle.”

Jeffery Batton, our encouraging tour guide, and founder and co-owner of Latitude 29 Paddle Boarding, consoled my fears, making me feel confident enough to qualify as an Olympic-hopeful —should paddle boarding ever become an Olympic sport. As a mobile business, Latitude 29 operates from Amelia Island to Matanzas Inlet— and anywhere in-between. latitude29paddleboard.com

Veteran publicist and luxury lifestyle experience-aholic, Regina Lynch-Hudson, pens MadameXhales, slated towards the vintage woman who enjoys more time to travel, indulges in longer trips, and selects more extravagant travel accommodations. The exacting taste of MadameXhales finds her exploring destinations, cruises, resorts, spas, and extracurricular activities—where like-minded Xhalers have experienced inner-exhilaration! © Contact MadameXhales: thewritepublicist@earthlink.net tallahassee woman | 38 | october • november 2021

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Business BUSINESS

Let’s talk about a few tips: 1. Know what you want.

Where do you see yourself in three to five years? What do you want to share with others that will make them want to hire you or your company?

Write these down and make a list.

2. Narrow that list to two to three main points. This way, you can determine what is most important when it comes to your field/business.

How to Write an Elevator Speech

BY CRISTINA CARTER

H

ave you ever been at the coffee shop and see the person you have always wanted to reach out to but freeze up and don’t know what to say? No worries! Many people freeze during situations like this.

What is funny is that it is not always at a networking event that you meet the most important people to network with; in fact, the most vital interactions happen organically. So what do you do when you run into someone that will better your career at the gas station, grocery store, or mall? Many people get the jitters and don’t know what to say when they encounter these situations.

3. Using the list you created, write a thirty-second elevator speech about what you want to highlight. Practice makes perfect. Practice in front of the mirror, in your car while driving, or even while you are working out. This way when the moment comes, you’re ready for take-off.

Don’t get discouraged if you do not do it right the first few times. We have all been there, and I can assure you - whoever you are trying to chat with has too. You got this!

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Business |

women to watch

WOMENto watch N E W S | A W A R D S | M I L E S T O N E S

Monique Akanbi, SHRM-CP joins the National Society for Human Resource Management (SHRM) as their newest East Coast Field Service Director.

Through increased satisfaction, communication, engagement, and collaboration, Akanbi will achieve her business goals of driving membership retention and acquisition. Monique will serve as the senior account and relationship manager for SHRM Chapter and State Council distribution channel, playing a strategic role in building relationships inside SHRM and with affiliates in driving SHRM goals and objectives.

Anneliese Kagan Finn is a newly-established author who just released her first book called, The Code, a work of creative nonfiction about how she was able to succeed in the maledominated medical world of sales. Finn attended Florida State University where she received her Bachelor of Science in Business and is also a mother of two children.

Anneliese is passionate about inspiring women to become top leaders in every industry; especially those that are typically male-dominated!

Gina Giacomo was just named “25 Women You Need To Know In Tallahassee” by the Tallahassee Democrat. Gina has been in the field of criminal justice for thirty-one years and currently serves as the Director of Administration for the Commission on Offender Review. Gina earned a bachelor’s in Criminal Justice Administration and a master’s in Educational Leadership. She has received recognitions including the Superior Accomplishment Awards and ten Davis Productivity Awards.

She is dedicated to serving her community and improving the lives of women and girls.

S. Michelle Whitworth was recently appointed by Governor DeSantis and the Cabinet members as the Coordinator of the Office of Executive Clemency. Whitworth began her career in criminal justice in 1994 upon graduating from Florida State University with a Bachelor’s degree in Criminology. She started out as a Correctional Probation Officer, then graduated from the Probation Officer Academy and became certified by the Florida Department of Law Enforcement. Ms. Whitworth is considered an expert in general and capital punishment clemency matters.

Women to Watch includes announcements of promotions, awards, business openings and milestones of business and professional women in the Tallahassee community.

Submit your announcements for Women to Watch to listings@talwoman.com.

tallahassee woman | 42 | october • november 2021

Dr. Kerry McCord has practiced “the best of natural medicine” since 1973. He is a renowned clinician, author and educator, internationally known for his contributions to the practice of applied kinesiology.

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“Although Dr. McCord's approach may be considered unconventional, it is incredibly effective. I initially saw him for chronic issues with my skin, bowels, acid-reflux and pain. After seeing so many doctors for so many years, I was amazed that pain relief was almost immediate! Upon further evaluation, Dr. McCord concluded that food sensitivities were contributing to my chronic bowel, acid-reflux and skin problems. At his direction, I began to change my diet and eliminated the offending foods identified. After more than 20 years of once to twice weekly bowel movements, I now have bowel movements daily, and the acid-reflux that I suffered nightly is gone. Also, much to my delight, I have seen gradual and significant improvement in my skin which has plagued me since I was a teenager. If you are dealing with chronic health issues, go see Dr. McCord, I think you'll be pleased."

Mrs. G. Jefferson, Tallahassee, FL

tallahassee woman | 43 | october • november 2021

Business |

marketing

U

ndoubtedly, video marketing is one of the the best tools for promotion.

BY OLIVIA J. HEYWARD

HERE ARE 16 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD USE VIDEO MARKETING RIGHT NOW.

You might still have your doubts. Is it really worth it to consider using videos for promoting your business?

1. 2 billion people use YouTube 2. 300 hours of video are uploaded every minute 3. 5 billion videos are watched every day.

4. 90% of people say they discover new brands or products on YouTube 5. Videos up to 2 minutes get the most engagement Do you have enough 6. Gets you More Exposure & Engagement resources to create and use video content 7. Video has grown in popularity across every platforms in your marketing?

8. Has a Longer Shelf Life The answer is simple: 9. Can Be Repurposed Across Multiple Platforms Yes, it’s worth it.

10. Personable Way to Engage with Your Audience Not only because 11. Video Engages Even the Laziest Buyers everyone’s doing 12. Video is 50% of all mobile online traffic and over 90% of internet traffic it but because video is one of the 13. Visuals are processed 60,000X faster in the brain than text most versatile and 14. Videos are shared 12x times more than links and text posts combined profitable digital marketing tools out 15. Video Content Boosts Revenue there.

16. Video Builds Trust Visit createcontentacademy.com for more. tallahassee woman | 44 | october • november 2021

Wellness WELLNESS

Wellness |

mental health

I

Learning to say No!

BY JANE MARKS

n navigating the stress and worry that we’ve experienced over the last year, we’ve often prioritized the needs of others over our own. We have nurtured, empathized with, and motivated those around us in every way we could. We’ve said yes to any and everything that’s been asked of us in an effort to care for our families and communities.

While this is a wonderful gift to everyone else, it has taken a toll on our mental health too often. The greatest form of self-care is intentionally choosing how you spend your time and simply saying no. Learning to say no without feeling guilty is a major step toward feeling empowered and improving relationships. Saying no means we

choose to control our lives and ensure that we don’t overextend ourselves. Saying no is the best tool you have for distancing yourself from negative situations. Saying no means that we recognize the value of our own time. Saying no allows us to focus on our priorities, and it leaves room for saying yes to things we may have never even considered. Saying no builds authenticity and confidence.

So, this Monday, let’s get started: 1. Rehearse. For many of us, this will take practice.

2. Be Direct. We can do this with sincerity and tact.

3. Separate saying no from your relationships.

4. Keep it simple and offer creative solutions.

5. Finally, a sense of humor when saying no can serve you and the people important to you.

Remember: there’s nothing to feel guilty about when you say no. Being intentional with your time is an important form of self-care. #MentalHealthMonday

Saying no means that we recognize the value of our own time. tallahassee woman | 46 | october • november 2021

H

Here's where to start: ow often do you find yourself asking, "What if?"

1. Catch the moment when you How often do you beat notice you're replaying certain yourself up over a mistake you events over and over. You may made yesterday? How often do experience a headache or stiffness in your back. Automatic you find yourself stuck in a spiral negative thinking will do this to of playing out different scenarios you. and catastrophizing the outcomes?

2. Step back and observe your Do you often think about how you thoughts as if you were a are going to embarrass yourself? reporter reviewing a case.

If so, you may be like a lot of us This will help you reframe your "Overthinkers." It's important to concerns.

3. Don't suffer in silence. Notice note that overthinking can not the feeling and take action. If only take a toll on your sense of you try out a solution, you will well-being but can also result feel more in control. in many nights of lost sleep. So, 4. Set boundaries on how long how do we begin to put aside you will worry or overthink our overthinking—our rethinking, a situation. Keeping it to rehashing, and second-guessing? five-minute intervals gives overthinking term limits.

BY JANE MARKS tallahassee woman | 47 | october • november 2021

5. Put aside perfectionism.

It's important to experience failures—we learn from them.

6. Trust your intuition. Going with your gut will keep you from continually censoring yourself.

7. Cancel decision fatigue by creating routines. Fewer decisions mean less worry.

8. Change the channel to happiness. When we distract ourselves with music, dancing, meditation, painting, gardening, and things we love, it often stops overthinking in its tracks.

Finally, find grace and gratitude every day. If we can honor our successes— and grow from our failures—we are on our way to developing our very own blueprint to conquer overthinking. #MentalHealthMonday

Wellness |

healthy living

Quiet the “Noise”

By Gwendolyn Singleton

T

hroughout our day, we are surrounded by noise, external and internal noise. Noise may come in the form of auditory sensations, external demands, internal pressures, negative thoughts – the list goes on and on. Frequently, we rush through our day to the beat of the “noise”, without taking a moment to pause to quiet the noise.

Let’s admit it, exposure to “noise” is a part of life!

However, extended exposure to uninterrupted “noise” will lead to stress in our body and mind, causing tensed muscles, elevated heart rate, decreased focus, and poor emotional regulation, to name a few. Amidst our busy schedules, we must place an intentional “pause” on our schedule. It is important to create a sacred time and space to quiet our mind and body.

Mindfulness is a help strategy to calm the mind and body. Mindfulness involves being present and aware of the moment. Mindful breathing involves focusing our attention on the breath, which helps to regulate our heart rate, reduces stress, and increases relaxation.

Tips for Mindful Breathing: • Identify a time and place.

• Find a comfortable sitting position and posture.

• Close your eyes.

• Shift your focus to the breath.

• Inhale through your nose calmly and gently; in your mind count slowly to four, as you notice the air flowing into your lungs.

• Hold your breath (in your mind count slowly to four).

• Slowly exhale (in your mind count slowly to four, as you notice the air flowing out).

• Repeat this 4X4X4 breathing for four minutes or until you feel calm.

Simply managing our breathing helps to improve focus, stress management, and sleep. With practice, a calm state may become easier to achieve during difficult times. Remember to be patient with yourself and the process.

Remember to pause to qui et th e noise.

tallahassee woman | 48 | october • november 2021

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tallahassee woman | 49 | october • november 2021

Food FOOD

Zuppa 54 Toscana (TUSCAN SOUP)

3

By Rebecca Weaver

T

he fall months mean endless pumpkin spice and an abundance of warming comfort foods. What better recipe to bundle up with in front of your fire place or snuggle under your favorite blanket than Zuppa Toscana, or Tuscan soup! Loaded with fresh vegetables and amazing Italian spices, Zuppa Toscana is a flavorful, hearty soup that can even be served as a precursor to your main dish at your holiday dinner parties. As an incredible one-pot dish, it can also be served as a solid

main meal. Whether you enjoy this delicious soup alone paired with a glass of your favorite white wine, or with a group of your closest friends and family around your dinner table, Zuppa Toscana is a must try recipe!

ING R EDIEN T S : • 2 tablespoons olive oil • 6 ounces chopped bacon or pancetta • 1 pound mild or spicy Italian sausage, casing removed • 3 cloves garlic, minced • 1 onion, diced • 1 teaspoon dried oregano • 1 teaspoon dried basil • ½ teaspoon salt • 1 teaspoon freshly ground black pepper • 5 cups chicken broth

DIRECTIONS: • 1 cup heavy cream • 2 bay leaves • 2 cups red potatoes, diced • 1 and ½ cups kale, chopped • 1 and ½ cups baby spinach, chopped • ¼ cup sun-dried tomatoes • Freshly grated parmesan cheese, optional • Crushed red pepper flakes, optional

In a large stock pot or Dutch oven over medium heat, add pancetta or chopped bacon and sauté until browned.

Remove bacon to a paper towel lined plate.

In the same pot, heat olive oil, add Italian sausage and cook until browned, about 3-5 minutes, making sure to crumble the sausage as it cooks; drain excess fat.

Stir in garlic, onion, sun-dried tomatoes, oregano, and basil.

Cook, stirring frequently, until onions have become

tallahassee woman | 50 | october • november 2021

translucent, about 2-3 minutes; season with salt and pepper, to taste.

Stir in chicken broth and bay leaves and bring to a boil. Add potatoes and cook until tender, about 10-15 minutes.

Stir in kale and spinach until it begins to wilt, about 1-2 minutes. Stir in heavy cream until heated through, about 1 minute.

Garnish with bacon, red pepper flakes and grated parmesan. Serve immediately.

WE e r i  s n I

By Emily Burkett

M

y favorite time of the day is the morning, right before everyone wakes up and has begun their day. That is the time when I feel most at peace. The anxieties and overwhelming thoughts of the day haven’t started, and I am left in silence.

While I sit on my couch with the sun from the opened windows filling the room with light, I hold and sip on a warm mug. It is just me and my

thoughts.

Mornings are full of renewal. A new day, new opportunities, and new joys waiting to be discovered. I use this time to take stock of my life and be grateful for the blessings, the people, and even the mistakes because I know that the lessons learned will help me grow. I hope that whenever your quiet time is that you recognize its reviving quality and let yourself sit in the silence.