SUMMER 2016
FREE
What parents are ta lking
about
WHEN IT DOES NOT GO THE WAY
we planned THE GREAT
gluten debate Spending
quality time
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Balancing work AND PARENTING
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Cover Photo (L-R) Katherine, Michael, Charles and Poppy Burchill. The Burchill family is actually second & third generation belongers, both Michael and Katherine’s parents moved to GDT in the early 80’s and North Caicos (and then on to GDT) in 1979 respectively where they settled and raised their families. Katherine and Michael have also decided to follow in their parents footsteps and raise their kids in the beautiful by nature Turks & Caicos Islands the land of their birth. Photo to the right Charles and Poppy Burchill
FERTILITY & PREGNANCY 10 When it Takes more than
2 to have a baby
6.7 million women have difficulty getting pregnant, or carrying a baby to term. Men experience infertility too, in comparable numbers.
14 Creating a good birthing experience I would like to suggest that it is because the definition of a good birth is more than just the physical health of the mother and baby, but is also about the psychological impact of labour and birth..
LITTLE ONES 20 Helping your child play
nicely with others
As parents, we must first accept and let our children know that it is okay to not be friends with everyone. However, it is still our responsibility to ensure that they respect and show compassion ...
Content
24 Four tips for raising emotionally healthy kids
As parents in today’s world, raising children can be challenging. We face a multitude of ever-changing needs and pressures, ranging from helping our children develop healthy eating habits to helping them with their school work or teaching them how to be safe.
27 Encouraging Curiosity
As a mother of a one-year-old and soon to be six-year-old, I can with definite certainty, and not needing any science to back me, say that children are born curious.
TWEENS & TEENS 34 Raising a teenage
daughter friend or foe? I often wonder if my 14 year old daughter knows how much she is loved. She has parents that meet her every need and cares about her so much that we get involved in her life..
36 Finding the right school for your child
There is a mountain of documentation out there that compares different curriculum single-sex versus coed education; class sizes - and the list goes on.
38 Monitoring your tween and teen’s internet time
With a world as vast as the internet there is more information good and bad, harmful and harmless which we must navigate our way around..
HEALTH & WELLNESS 48 Soothing Angry Skin
Inflamed, angry skin is a common complaint amongst persons with sensitive skin. It can be caused by many factors such as allergies, autoimmune disorders and environmental irritants such as poor skincare routines or overexposure to sun or wind. You may also be using harsh cleansers or roughly exfoliating your face.
editor’s note Summer flew by!
What Parents are Talking About PUBLISHER
Creative Designs EDITOR
Patrina Pierre A DVE R T I S I NG S A LE S
Nidra Ganness tciparentsmag@gmail.com DE S I G N & PRO DU C T I ON
Creative Designs WR I T E R S & CONT R I B UTORS
Chenice Peniston-Williams, Hope Stafford-Regis, Heather Bernard, Rebecca Payne, Kimberly Wallace, Robin Bardegett, Yolande Robinson, Thea Lowe-Gangasingh, Maxcia Rigby CO N T R I B UT I NG PHOTO GR AP HERS
Attimi Photography and Eva Lakhani Turks & Caicos Parents Magazine is associate with Bermuda Parent Magazine but is published by Creative Designs every three months. Reader correspondence, photo submissions and editorial submissions are welcome. We reserve the right to edit, reject or comment editorially on all material contributed. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced without express written consent of the publisher. The opinions expressed by contributors or writers do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this magazine. Distribution of this product does not constitute an endorsement of the products or services herein. PRINTING SunDance Marketing Solutions 9564 Delegates Drive Building A Orlando, FL 32837 CONTAC T US
tciparentsmag@gmail.com Tel: 954-708-5299 www.tciparents.com facebook.com/TCIParents
Where did it go? Hard to believe it’s back to school time again! The new school year is here and we will soon be back into our old routine. Back to the early mornings and that commute to and from school, not to mention all those after school program and HOMEWORK! Yes I said it HOMEWORK! For us parents with younger kids it is considered “Parentswork” But like everything we will get through it, and as fast as the summer left Thanksgiving break will be upon us. As you read through this issue, you will realize there is something we all can relate to. Pregnancy can be the most amazing, thrilling and life changing experience a woman can go through. However, it can also be a scary, heartbreaking and difficult time for some families as well. While in some cases, trying to conceive or even carry a baby to term might seem impossible, we fail to realize this is not only the woman’s problem. Men can experience infertility too, in articles on pg. 10-14 we explore information that can be helpful. On pg. 16we speak about miscarriages, this is another heartbreaking word. Having 10 experienced a miscarriage myself I can identify with the pain and the emptiness it can leave in your heart. Educating ourselves and reaching out to health care professionals is the best way to start dealing with these issues. Follow us on Facebook, visit our website at www.tciparents.com or send us am email 16 at tciparentmag@gmail.com. Don’t forget please share a copy with a friend. Happy Parenting!
Patrina Pierre Editor notes
TCI Parents
Aniya Garland
Emilio Butler
Matthew Thomas
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Kai Christina Faith O’Neil
Gabriella & Elly Butler
Israel & Judah Rigby
Jael Williams Ciara Fulford
Wanya & Lavard jr Lightbourne
Jada O’Neil
Donnie Pinder
Breanna Mighty
Aiden Bromley
Laila Garland
Want to see your child featured here? Email a photo with your child’s first and last name to tciparentmag@gmail.com
Marco Gallardo
Denard Mighty Jr
Amy Gallardo
Connor Bromley
Azel Carmichael
Ari Janay Cox
Jahtee,Tajee Meier and Xia Meier-Sy
Laquad Garland II
Soleil Rigby
The Twincesses Brooklyn and Lyric Hall7
Demia & Denae St Ange Demia & Denae St Ange
Laila Reynolds
Kianna, Kelani, Aniquia, Amarri and Sydrie Rezon and Rahnel Carmichael
Aaliyah Carmichael Mikael Wilkinson
There is no one alive who is Youer than You.
�
Dr. Seuss
Gabrielle Rigby
Tyesha Pierre
Taylah Seymour
Want to see your child featured here? Email a photo with your child’s first and last name to tciparentmag@gmail.com
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fertility & pregnancy PHOTO BY ATTIMI PHOTOGRAPHY
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fertility
Courtesy Path2Parenthood
When it takes more than 2 to have a baby
6.7 million women have difďŹ culty getting pregnant, or carrying a baby to term. Men experience infertility too, in comparable numbers. In both sexes, certain types of infertility are, unfortunately, unavoidable but other kinds can be eliminated or greatly diminished by good lifestyle habits and healthy, pro-active choices.
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o matter who you are, the decisions you make, as early as your teenage years, can affect your fertility potential forever. This informational handbook helps provide men and women with tools that can help lead to educated decisions about reproductive health, so that infertility can be avoided 12
whenever possible. Healthy lifestyle choices, concrete knowledge about the biological clock, sexually transmitted disease prevention (STDs) and reducing exposure to environmental toxins, all stack fertility odds in your favor. As women age, their ability to conceive goes down. Pregnancy potential starts its
first subtle decline at around age 27, escalating significantly for many women by age 34 or 35. By 42 years of age, most women have only a one percent chance of conceiving naturally each month. And, despite popular belief, in vitro fertilization (IVF) is not an iron-clad fix for agerelated infertility. Success rates for women in this age group who
are determined by multiple factors including a woman’s age when she freezes, with younger being better. Statistically however, the younger a woman is when she freezes her eggs, the less likely she is to retrieve them, later on. Egg freezing also does nothing to reduce your body’s natural aging process, so remaining healthy and “pregnancy-ready” in later years is an important factor to consider. One of the worst things you can do to your fertility and overall health is smoke cigarettes or be exposed to secondhand smoke. The chemicals in cigarettes include nicotine, cyanide and carbon monoxide, all of which accelerate egg death, even in young women. It also reduces sperm quality and quantity, as well as the ability of sperm to penetrate and fertilize eggs. Smoking is also a leading cause of erectile dysfunction, a fertility non-starter. Smoking and second-hand smoke exposure also puts infants
and babies at a higher risk of Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS), and other health issues, and even affects their fertility potential, later on in life. Obesity not only destroys health, it also can reduce fertility, in both men and women. Maintaining a healthy body mass index (BMI) and keeping yourself physically fit with exercise can enhance and maintain fertility potential, plus provide for a healthier pregnancy, labor, delivery and baby. What you eat matters and only a 10 percent reduction in body mass can make a difference.
Different fertility options
• Intrauterine Insemination (IUI) • Active Ovulation Management with Insemination • In Vitro Fertilization (IVF) • Pre-Implantation Genetic Diagnosis (PGD) & Screening • Micromanipulation • Ocycte (Egg) Freezing & Fertility Preservation
are attempting pregnancy with their own eggs, is much lower than that of women under age 35. Freezing the Clock Social egg freezing, for some, will provide hope, empowerment and possibly, an extension to fertility. With the advent of an effective, flash-freezing technique called vitrification, knowledge of egg freezing and its potential to stop that ticking sound has become highly publicized. Before you pull out your checkbook however, it’s important you understand what egg freezing can and can’t do. Hardly an insurance policy, egg freezing is not always successful, nor does it guarantee pregnancy or a take home baby for everyone. Pregnancy rates from frozen eggs www.tciparents.com
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Why can’t I have a second child
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y name is Paula. You look at me and think I have it all. From the outside when you look at my life, you see that I have been married for close to a decade to a man who makes me smile every day. We have a beautiful four year old daughter Kala and a lovely home. I work part time and have checked most boxes in life that determines my personal success – so what am I missing you ask? My second child. Conceiving Kala was no problem. Like most of you reading this I spent my twenties trying NOT to get pregnant and living life to it’s fullest. When Richard and I got married we enjoyed our first few years as a newly married couple and when we made the life changing decision to start our family, it was just one of those things that happened as natural as the sun rises every morning. Life was good. When Kala turned two, we had regained a happy routine in our lives and decided it was time to give her a little brother or sister. In our heads the decision was made, however life was about to take a very sharp turn.
time is right.” Each time it was like a dagger, each time I wanted to scream at them.
I started to analyze every thought in my head. Were we not conceiving because somehow the Universe was saying that I couldn’t handle another child? Why could I not just be happy with one child? Was I just simply being ungrateful? Not someone to take things lying down, Richard and I turned to the Internet for answers and looked at the cost of private IVF treatment. On our search we found Barbados Fertility Centre (BFC), a world renowned JCI accredited centre of excellence for IVF and we scheduled a call with Anna Hosford, specialist IVF nurse coordinator. That call changed everything for us. Anna reassured us that secondary infertility could be treated successfully and outlined how the medical team at BFC could help. She was a lifeline. I felt for the first time that I was finally speaking to someone who understood what we were going through and could offer a solution.
The next step was a telephone consultation with Dr. Juliet Skinner, Medical Director at BFC. Dr. After a year of trying to Skinner gave us the conceive nothing happened. We opportunity to outlay our went to see our doctor and were concerns to her. There told to keep trying. I was 35 at was never a point in the the time and worried that it was conversation where we getting late. After another 4 months felt belittled, but rather I went back to the doctor as panic when we put down the was starting to set in and I asked phone for the first time about fertility treatment options. in over a year we had The doctor prescribed Clomid and a plan but even more we carried on trying. I became importantly, we had obsessed with babies and taking HOPE! Kala to nursery was painful as the other mums were proudly showing We started the preoff their bumps and constantly cycle tests here in the asking me “So when are you going Bahamas with the BFC to get pregnant?” I smiled at them medical team holding all and sweetly replied, “When the our hand every step of
the way. They became like family, always just a call or email away. In July 2015 we flew to Barbados and again they looked after everything for us, including flights and accommodation working within our budget. The level of professionalism and care was outstanding. BFC understood the trust we were placing in their hands. They took the responsibility of our dreams to heart and we knew they would do everything to make sure of our success. After two weeks on the island and the transfer of two embryos we returned back home for the twoweek wait. The two-week wait was really difficult, but I remained positive. We were absolutely thrilled when the two lines appeared on the test! I was PREGNANT! Kala will have a little brother or sister in April and we can’t wait. We cannot thank the team at BFC enough! When you think you have no other options, look outside the box - BFC helped to make our dream come true! For further information about Barbados Fertility Centre please log on to www.barbadosivf.com or call for a confidential chat on 246 435 7467 or email contact@barbadosivf.com.
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pregnancy
BY Fiona Dill
Creating a good birth
“It is how you experience the birth, not how it actually is, that either strengthens you or gets you down” (can be pulled out).
F
Experience
or many women, birth can be a highly emotive topic. I think we would all agree that there are few things more important or as special as bringing life into the world. However, at a time when birth is safer than it has ever been, why do we find so few women who can say “I had a good birth experience”? I would like to suggest that it is because the definition of a good birth is more than just the physical health of the mother and baby, but is also about the psychological impact of labour and birth. You will often hear…. ‘as long as the mother and baby are healthy that is all that matters’. But it seems that perhaps this is not enough, when we are considering the future well being of mother and baby. Ask any child development specialist, and they will tell you that the best predictor of a baby’s future wellbeing, educational attainment, mental health and happiness is the quality of the bond formed between that child and his primary caregivers in the hours, days, months after birth. When a woman begins her life as a mother feeling low in confidence and unhappy in herself, she may not be as able to give of herself to the bonding process as she would do, if she embarks on motherhood feeling empowered and validated by the experience. Research also suggests that the birth affects a father’s early bonding with his child, as well as his future relationship with his partner….all of which has ramifications for the emotional development of a healthy infant. Perhaps surprisingly, a positive birth experience for most women is not determined by whether or not she had pain relieving drugs; how the baby was born or even whether they achieved their goals or not. A positive birth experience was felt when the mother or couple were able to be in control of the decisions that were made during the actual birth, as well as feeling supported, respected and safe. 16
As one woman put it: “It is how you experience the birth, not how it actually is, that either strengthens you or gets you down”. With all this in mind, how then can women prepare to experience a positive birth? Know Your Options and Find Your Voice: Find childbirth education classes that explore choices, give evidence based information, cover all aspects of labour and birth and that help you to trust the amazing process of birth and your body’s ability to cope and adapt. In my experience, most first time mothers underestimate how hard labour is going to be but I also find that most also underestimate how strong they are if they want to be. Find out and think about options that will help you feel strong, supported, respected and safe. If your birth is long or complicated, knowing your options and feeling heard, is especially key to a positive birth experience. And remember every woman is different. I have seen women transformed by the experience of having worked hard and achieving a positive, un-medicated birth and we know that babies do best when their mothers do not use powerful pain relieving drugs. But I have also seen how empowering and positive it can be for a mother who is struggling, to know the facts and choose a well timed epidural. Prepare Your Mind: It is clear that giving birth can be physically hard work but it has also been described as one of the greatest emotional challenges a woman will go through
in her lifetime. I could write for pages about the many ways to prepare but as a starting point, it is important that women address their fears and find ways of coping during the birth process. Research shows that women can be pain-free but still perceive their birth experience as negative, which once again suggests that a positive experience is not about being pain-free, but how you feel about what is happening. No one can tell you how your birth is going to unfold, whether it is going to be straightforward or complicated or how you are going to react but you
can mentally prepare, as you would for any experience that provides a challenge and requires commitment. Get Great Support: If the key to a positive birth experience is to feel safe, supported, heard and respected then the people you have around you when you are giving birth is very important. Your partner needs to be on board with your desires and birth preferences and know ways of helping you achieve them, as do your caregivers. Some couples will hire a doula to help with comfort measures, information giving and practical support. Recent research shows a 60-80% decrease in c-section rate and previous evidence indicated increased breastfeeding rates and less postnatal depression amongst many other positive outcomes. So know your options, find your voice, prepare your mind and get great supporters for one of the most significant journeys of your life and aim for a ‘good’ birth.
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pregnancy
When it does not go the way
we plan
Miscarriages are common approximately one in 5 pregnancies end in miscarriage every year. That means hundreds of thousands of women experience miscarriages and most of those miscarriages occur in the first 12 weeks of pregnancy. However, after that your chance of miscarrying drastically decreases. Most miscarriages, however, are usually random and isolated events. Having one miscarriage doesn’t increases your odds of having another one.
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or many women, the attachment to the child she is carrying begins at the moment she knows she is pregnant. That is when we begin dreaming about the baby we are carrying and imagining how our lives will change in only nine short months. Few of us hold back our excitement due to fears of a first trimester miscarriage. Instead, we start taking extraordinarily good care of ourselves-eating right, getting plenty of rest and avoiding alcohol, caffeine and tobacco products. When a loss takes place despite all of these preparations, you can feel like you did something wrong. Even the word miscarriage seems to imply that you did not carry your baby properly. In many, if not most cases, the cause of your miscarriage will never be known. Again, most 18
miscarriages are random and isolated events. Doctors now believe that most miscarriages are caused by chromosomal abnormalities in the developing embryo or fetus, and some are caused by various uterine abnormalities. However, alot of miscarriages may be cause by immunological factors, infections or environmental factors (including smoking and heavy alcohol use). It is often more difficult to recover emotionally from a miscarriage than it is to recover physically from one. Even if you had to have a D & C, the emotional fallout from a miscarriage can stay with you for months afterward. Guilt, shame, sadness, anger, and a feeling of powerlessness are very common emotions. So is a sense of generalized anxiety and the fear of another loss. It
is not uncommon, especially if you are not able to become pregnant again quickly, to have an ongoing awareness of how far along in the pregnancy you would have been if the loss had not occurred. Many women feel particularly grief-stricken around the time of the due date of that pregnancy. Miscarriage is a traumatic experience-it takes time to heal from a trauma of any kind. It is important to be gentle with yourself and find people to talk to who are compassionate and will not judge you for the intensity of your feelings. It is also important not to blame yourself, or to isolate yourself too much. It may be impossible to spend much time around pregnant friends or those with babies or young children, but if you don’t have people in your life who are willing to share their own experiences of pregnancy loss with you, there is a large group of people out there who have been through a miscarriage, and there are many on-line resources and books available to you that can help you feel less alone.
little ones GABRIELLA E. KRZANOWSKI www.tciparents.com 19
little ones
BY Chenice Peniston-Williams
Balancing work and parenting Vacation time is over! Your maternity leave is up and the dreaded moment is upon you. It’s time to head back to work again! However, this time you have to add taking care of baby to the daily ‘to-do’ list.
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he hours in the day don’t seem to be long enough and sleep has become a luxury. So you wreck your brains trying to determine how do I balance work and parenting? There is no magic wand to wave and everything gets done. If only! 1. Take all the help that you can! To effectively balance work and parenting, support from friends
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and family is essential. Juggling work and parenting, another full time job, can be taxing, especially on mothers. As such, all help should be welcomed. After working your regular 8 –hour job, you pick up the parenting role. Allow your spouse / mate, parents and friends to assist with the duties. Furthermore, between you and your spouse, you should assign and share the roles and responsibilities to ease the burden. Mommy is in charge of getting children out the house to daycare
and school on time and daddy or granny helps out with the extracurricular activities. Taking turns caring for the children makes it easier on both parties. 2. Hire Help! One of the biggest fears of parents is leaving your children with someone you don’t completely trust. You do not want to have to be on work during the day and studying if your child is safe and secure. Getting a reputable
daycare / babysitter plays a major role in your child’s security and your peace of mind. In turn, you are more productive during the day. You want to build a relationship with the daycare / baby sitter whereby they take joy in caring for your child and attending to their needs without you having to say so all the time. They know your child inside out! More so, should you have an emergency on work that requires you to put in a few extra hours, you’re not on a rigid timer and the caregiver is understanding because of the relationship that you share. 3. It’s OKAY to take a BREAK! It is okay to stop and take a minute – or 10, for yourself. Don’t try to be super mom! So instead of trying to complete that report or plan the next activity on your lunch break, take a deep breath and just
RELAX! Do something you enjoy and don’t really have time for anymore. Listen to some music, do a crossword, go do some shopping…for YOU! Just ensure that whatever you’re doing on this free time is for YOU! Ever so often, ask daddy or granny or someone to look after the children and go get a massage or do your hair or get a spa treatment. Additionally, make it a habit to spend time with your spouse / mate at least once a week doing something together that does not include the children. And when necessary, ever so often, if you can, take a ‘mommy-cation’time away from all mommy duties! 4. Leave work at work! Based on your position in the organization, you may be required to take home work from time to time. However, this should not be a common practice. Even if you’re
working on getting that promotion, try your utmost best to not take the office home. This takes away time from your other job, parenting while simultaneously cutting down on family time. This is where you have to exercise time management skills to be sure that all work deadlines are met. You can’t take your children to work, so why should you take your work home? Unless you’re a stay at home parent, you would find yourself always trying to find a way to maximize the 24 hours given every day. So next time you find yourself overwhelmed and frustrated between parenting and working, take some deep breaths and remember that a tired and weary parent won’t be functional to the office or the home. So take all the help that you get, take time off to attend to you and to always separate your parenting and work responsibilities.
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little ones
Helping your child PLAY NICELY WITH OTHERS BY Chenice Peniston-Williams As parents, we’ve all experienced or would soon experience the friendship building phase with our children. Every parent wants their child to have a lot of friends from a young age and possibly build lifelong friendships. But what if there is someone at the park or the nursery that your child is not too keen on playing with? How do you as parent address this and help your child to still play nice and not be the bully or mean kid?
As parents, we must first accept and let our children know that it is okay to not be friends with everyone. However, it is still our responsibility to ensure that they respect and show compassion to their peers.
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ot because you may not want to play with another child means you have to be mean to him / her. Teach your children simple respect rules such as saying “I’m sorry!” or “No thank you!” or “I do not wish to play today!” In turn, you are also teaching them how to respond to others as well as boosting their self-expressions as they are now better equipped to assert themselves. Set an example! You are the first friend your child will have. Therefore, it is important that you set an example of how they should interact with others. Sow seeds of positivity in your child’s life. Commend them when they do something nice and always do something to boost their spirit and self esteem. Don’t ever compare your child to another or talk down to him / her. Remember this is their friendship blueprint! Whatever they observe and learn from your interactions, they would emulate. More so, your friendships with your friends and family are also under indirect scrutiny from your child so keep alert of your interactions and behaviors. Monitoring your child’s behavior and actions 22
towards others is crucial in teaching them to play nicely. You must enforce the consequences for not playing fair. For playing nice, rewards should be given. For example, a longer time at the park or an additional play date or sleep over. But if not, take away a toy or skip an activity that they would enjoy as a form of correction and to reinforce the importance of playing nicely with others. So the next time you set up a play date, observe how your child interacts with others. If all else fails, there is the option of seeking professional aid. After close observations of your child’s behavior and interactions with others, and having exhausted all other crafty alternatives, a professional would be better able to give a more indepth explanation for the child’s behavior and make recommendations. Your job as the parent is to be actively involved in the child’s life to observe these behaviors and never just say it’s just a ‘play-date’ and ‘they’re just being children.’ These behaviors manifest themselves and are contributing factors to the adults that you send out into the world.
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little ones
A
s a parent, ensuring your child’s teeth are cleaned and cared for is as important as maintaining any other aspect of their health. Establishing a good dental routine from an early age will set them up with good habits for life. Daily care of your child’s teeth You should begin toothbrushing as soon as a child’s teeth start to come through (around 6 mths) but it is not until around the age of 2 years that a child will have all 20 of their baby (deciduous) teeth. These teeth will stay with the child until the adult teeth come through at around 6-8 yrs. A child under the age of 7 years is unlikely to be able to effectively brush their teeth themselves and so I recommend that an adult takes responsibility for brushing the child’s teeth twice a day. A small-headed brush with medium soft bristles should be used with a small (pea-sized) amount of fluoride toothpaste. Limiting the amount of sugar, especially hard candy, juice and soda, will also help to keep your child’s teeth healthy. Visits to the dentist I recommend that a child’s first visit to the dentist is nothing more than accompanying a parent or guardian during their own routine dental check-up. In this way, a child sees an adult that they trust sitting happily and comfortably in the dentist’s chair and in turn will help make the child feel more relaxed and familiar with the environment. Then, at the age of around 18-24 months I recommend a first check-up which might involve them sitting on mum or dad’s knee whilst in the dentist’s chair. From then on a routine visit every 6 months will ensure that the teeth and gums 24
Caring for your child’s teeth are staying healthy and clean, no cavities are starting and then later that the adult teeth are coming through correctly.
Fissure Sealing Fissures are the very narrow grooves that occur naturally on the chewing surface of adult molars and premolars. These are vulnerable to decay as the fissures can be deep and difficult to clean (often narrower than the thickness of one bristle of your toothbrush.) Fissure sealing is a preventative treatment where a liquid filling material is used to fill in the fissure which then sets, thereby preventing anything entering the fissure and causing tooth decay. It is routinely recommended for children around the age of 6 or 7 years. Losing baby teeth A child’s baby teeth should start to come out naturally from around the age of 6yrs. The teeth
become lose because the roots have dissolved and so they have very little to anchor them into the jaw. Therefore, losing these teeth should be relatively painless and require nothing more than a little wiggle to help them along. Occasionally, an adult tooth might come through without the baby tooth having come out. This is not that unusual and often there is nothing more to do than wait a little while longer. Occasionally the baby tooth might require some help in which case a visit to the dentist is required for a very simple extraction. If you are in any doubt it is worth speaking to your dentist and getting some advice. In summary, it is important but not difficult to care for your child’s teeth and set them up with good dental habits for life. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me on drmosmond@gmail. com or our Facebook page: Dr Mark Osmond.
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health & wellness
BY Brenda Dale
Four tips for raising emotionally healthy Kids
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s parents in today’s world, raising children can be challenging. We face a multitude of ever-changing needs and pressures, ranging from helping our children develop healthy eating habits to helping them with their school work or teaching them how to be safe. As I reflect on my children’s life, compared to my childhood, I realize how important it is to look beyond daily tasks and teaching of skills, and pay attention to our children’s emotional health as well. Dealing with our children’s emotions can seem stressful at times, but it is important and can be extremely rewarding as we connect with our children on a deeper level. Luckily, it is not that difficult – all that is required is that we love our children unconditionally and pause from the daily stressors of life to ensure that we are there for them by being a good listener and observer, and being both physically and emotionally present with them as they grow. Studies show numerous benefits for emotionally healthy children; including better performance at school, the ability to build lasting and mutually respectful relationships, and the ability to cope through difficult times and stressful situations.
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Remember - You are the Role Model First and foremost, we must remember that our children learn the tools for emotional health by watching us. Every single day they observe how we cope with and manage our daily tribulations and challenges, and how we then relate to them and to the people we come in contact with (such as our neighbors, family, teachers etc.). It is most helpful if we share our emotions with our children as we tackle daily challenges, and then show them how we manage our emotions (e.g. frustration, sadness, loss, anger) and the relationships embedded within. This will encourage them to share their emotions and struggles with us. Our children are bombarded daily with information and local and international news that can be both confusing and frightening, and doesn’t necessarily provide the best examples for them. We need to openly discuss what they see and help them help them interpret the world around them by avoiding 26
unnecessary anxiety, worry, confusion, frustration and possibly anger. None of us will handle every situation perfectly; however, there is also merit in sharing with our children how we handle our own short-comings and failures. Consistency in our behavior brings comfort to our children as they come to know what to expect and can feel safe in approaching and discussing any concerns with us.
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Know What Behaviours are Expected at a Given Age We are better able to help our children if we know what the appropriate developmental milestones are, and what behaviors are reasonable to expect. This knowledge enables us to respond better to our children’s needs, and can also help us to identify problems. The signs of emotional health vary with age, and what is appropriate at one age (e.g. temper tantrums) may be a sign of a problem when it occurs consistently at another age. If we become concerned about our child’s behavior, it’s best to talk it over with their physician, and seek professional help as early as possible.
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Spend Quality Time with Your Child Our lives are very busy and somewhat complicated, but it is important that we find a way, each and every day, to pause, spend time with
and be present with our children to find out how their day was – what went well, what didn’t go so well, what their concerns, fears and hopes are, and how we can help. There is nothing that can replace this connection time, and we can be assured that if we don’t make the time, there will be certainly be something else that will fill the void. This time and sharing provides an opportunity for us to teach our children how to reflect on the present, building inner peace and a solid foundation for their long-term emotional health.
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Nurture the Attitude of Gratitude Both expressing and feeling gratitude are important parts of life. Over the past decade, hundreds of studies have documented the social, physical, and psychological benefits of gratitude. Gratitude has two parts – first is the acknowledgement of the good things in the world, the gifts and benefits received. The second is the acknowledgement that the source of goodness lies outside of one’s self
and in other people, even higher powers that provide the many gifts, big and small, in our lives. Practicing gratitude has proven to be one of the most reliable methods for increasing happiness and satisfaction, and reducing anxiety and depression. Gratitude strengthens relationships, making us feel closer and more committed to those around us. From the outset, a parent’s modeling of gratitude is key. Toddlers can be taught to say thank you when they receive assistance or a gift from someone. By primary school, we can encourage our children to reflect on their day and share one thing they are grateful for daily, for example at dinner time, or by creating a ‘gratitude list’ or ‘gratitude jar’. Gratitude encourages us not only to appreciate our gifts but to repay them or pay them forward. Studies suggest that when 10-19 year olds practice gratitude, they report greater life satisfaction and more positive emotion, and they feel more connected to their community. Let’s share this precious gift.
www.tciparents.com
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pregnancy little ones
BY Chenice Peniston-Williams
Siblings!
Why they don’t always get along?
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ibling rivalry, a cause of concern for many parents, is defined as, “jealousy, competition and fighting between brothers and sisters,” and has been existent in generations gone by and would continue to exist in many more to come. So we see it is quite normal! But why can’t they just get along? After all, they’re not strangers! Reality is, sibling rivalry begins after the birth of a second child. There’s just no way around it! So why can’t they just get along you’d ask? After being the centre of attention, an addition to the family brews jealousy from the first born child. This may not be intentional but not being the focus and privy to things you would have previously enjoyed, would make any person, more so a child, not warm up to the very person that has seemingly replaced him / her. “Why do MY things become OUR things?” As sharing as a child may be, there are some things that they may not be too keen on sharing. Therefore it is the responsibility of the parent to encourage sharing but there should be some distinct ‘non-shareable’ items. In doing so, you help create an environment of minimal conflict. “Why is everyone always comparing me to my younger / older siblings?” Comparison is the thief of joy and one of the root causes of sibling rivalry. Constantly comparing your children is unhealthy and unfair as they are two different unique beings. There will always be one child feeling inferior to the other and this in turn births many fights and one child thinking they have to constantly compete for 28
their parents’ love and affirmation by any means necessary. Additionally, the child who feels favoured by the parents would use these as a ploy to initiate bickering and fighting. So as far as possible, parents should never compare their children and acknowledge their sense of individuality. “But there are no rules!” In the absence of house rules and assigned chores and responsibilities, your home can get out of control. The older sibling may assume the role as ‘boss’ and bully the younger siblings into doing chores and taking advantage of younger siblings as there is nothing indicating who has to do anything. Furthermore, with rules, your children are now aware of the consequences attached to completing their assigned responsibilities and you therefore hold each child accountable for his / her actions rather than focusing only on one child for things not being done. However, sibling rivalry is not as bad as we think it to be! Once identified, it can be used as a learning tool in the family to teach your children morals, values and a host of other skills ranging from conflict resolution to cooperation and even anger management. To achieve this, it is crucial that the parents never get involved in any sibling rivalry match. Unless the bickering and fighting is bordering violence, then you assume referee mode. Until then, don’t wear yourself thin every time there is an argument. Be assured that sibling rivalry is not causing any ‘real’ disassociation or breaking up their bond. Want to test this theory? Have any of your children say that someone took advantage of them….siblings are usually the first to their defense!
Encouraging BY Yolande Robinson
Curiosity
Albert Einstein, as an intellectual genius, once said, “I have no special talent. I am only passionately curious.” In fact, many individuals who are seen as ‘intellectuals’ were often described as curious. Do you know what other group of people are routinely described as curious…children.
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s a mother of a one-year-old and soon to be six-year-old, I can with definite certainty, and not needing any science to back me, say that children are born curious. They remain curious for as long as we foster that curiosity. Think of a baby: once they get out of the newborn stage, they are ready to explore. They constantly want to explore the world. They use their senses to experience the world. Much of their day is spent being curious! They find different ways to look at, taste, touch, and hear the things that interest them. It may be as simple as first banging their spoon accidentally on their high chair tray. They bang it, hear the sound, and do it again because their curiosity has been piqued and they like what they hear! As our children get older, and they begin to understand what they should taste and what they should not, curiosity starts to take on other forms. Curiosity may not only come in the form of where they allow their play to go, but also with the adults and older siblings around them being constantly asked ‘why?’ Although ‘why’ can get quite annoying, and many parents including myself may try to find ways to shut down the ‘why’ question out of sheer exhaustion…it’s important to remind ourselves that many problems are solved and more efficient strategies found by individuals who dare to be curious and ask questions. Our children need a safe space in which to be curious. When we encourage our children to be curious, whether it is reading books on topics of interest, making potions in the back yard, or simply asking questions, we are encouraging them to keep their minds active. We are moving them away from passive thinking and making them more active thinkers. Children who are more curious are also more
observant. Whether it be in their environment, or in the solving of a math problem, their curiosity encourages them to look at things from a different perspective. So how exactly can you nurture curiosity in your children.
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Remember that children learn through play. Encourage unstructured play time in which they can follow their interests and spend time doing activities that peak their curiosity.
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Allow your child to lead. When playing with your child, allow them to take the lead so that you can encourage their curiosity.
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Model curiosity. Spend times sharing with your child things that pique your curiosity. This may be on a walk outside, or while watching a television program. Think out loud and wonder.
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Answer their questions. Try your best to answer their questions in an age appropriate way. You may not have all the answers, and this is fine, but we are lucky to live in an era where information can be found extremely quickly. Perhaps make a point of looking up the information together.
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Ask open ended questions. Stimulate your child’s imagination and thought process by asking openended questions. Encourage active thinking and the making of connections.
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Redirect, don’t discourage. It isn’t uncommon to find a child going down a road of curiosity that you are not comfortable with. Find ways to redirect interests rather than discourage. www.tciparents.com
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pregnancy real families, real stories
BY Maxcia Rigby
“Don’t take it personally!”
Living with an autistic child has its share of challenges, however I believe it is very important to take each challenge just as it is. Taking these challenges personally will hinder the growth and development of your child and can also create more challenges. irst I will speak about the communication challenge. Many children with autism are non-verbal or may have limited verbal ability so they have to use other ways to communicate. Imagine not being able to get someone’s attention if you were hungry, or hurt. A child, let alone a child with autism lacks the ability to reason and use strategic thinking, so they scream and throw tantrums. Most times parents interpret this as rudeness or disrespect when this is actually a form of communication. Naturally our next reaction is to discipline the child for their actions because we are upset. Our reaction should be to stop, observe and rethink the situation. I remember when my son was much younger, he had very limited he became very rigid. If you said routines. speech. Once while we were at first church then beach, you had It allowed us to have more the grocery store his slipper fell off. better mean that because changing conversations and also helped He became very stiff as I tried to your clothes, getting snacks at the to form his sentences. He would take him out of the cart. He kept store and picking up a friend on the repeat what I said and I would reaching to go back and I got very way wasn’t what you said. ensure he knew that the ultimate upset. I told him very firmly that He would get upset if we goal had not changed. Ten minutes it was time to go and carried him had the slightest change in our before dinner time; we have to stop back to the car. As I put him in routine. He hated turning around and get snacks for the beach; let’s his seat, I said out loud, “Where is even to get to our destination. I turn here to get to the food store. It your slipper? I knew he couldn’t didn’t understand why he reacted didn’t work right away of course but answer but the answer was right in that way; I didn’t know how to tell he caught on to the new routine. my face. He was trying to tell me him anything without feeling the That clever boy began saying this earlier but I took it personal. I pressure of having to deal with a things like “Candy then dinner, its not only missed that his slipper fell tantrum. After getting over myself, healthy food” which began another but also a learning opportunity to I realized that routines was Isreal’s challenge; but that’s for another teach him a new word. comfort. It was also how he coped time. As my son got older, his with life. Knowing what would This part of the journey is communication improved but I had happen and when kept him calm taking some time; to be real, it will to learn how to talk with him. My and even decreased some of his take a lifetime! But it’s helping me son went from one word to short negative behaviors. Though this and changing me and maybe I can sentences in what seemed to be a wasn’t always realistic, I learnt how help you on this journey; to find a day. Once he discovered the power to talk to him. I guided him through way to make all these little pieces of words, he started using them his day instead of using general fit! more often. This was great except
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little ones
BY Charlis Robins, OTR/L
Maximizing
Occupational Therapist Learn and Lead Educational Center
a child’s success through Early Intervention
A child’s earliest years are filled with new experiences that provide stimulation that drives his or her cognitive, social, and physical growth. The first 3 years of life are a critical time for brain development, especially if a child has delays or is restricted in development. If a child needs support to ensure optimum development, occupational therapy can help.
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his Early intervention provides children from birth to 3 years old who have disabilities, or who are at risk with help they need to succeed later in life. In Early Intervention, Occupational therapy benefits children with many specific conditions (e.g., Down syndrome, autism, cerebral palsy), in addition to children with no clear diagnosis. For children with developmental delays or a known physical or mental condition associated with a high probability of delays, occupational therapy can help improve their motor, cognitive, sensory processing, communication, and play skills. The goal is to enhance development, minimize the potential for developmental delay, and help families to meet the needs of their infants and toddlers. Occupational therapy practioners always work with the child and family situation in natural environments. These settings could be at home, at day care, or at the playground. Once a delay is noticed, a child can be referred for Occupational Therapy. Once referred, an evaluation takes place. Occupational therapy practitioners develop a a treatment plan based on those findings and on the goals the family has for the child. The practitioner also identifies things that
parents and caregivers can do throughout the day to reinforce a skill and improve sensory processing or enable new learning. For example, parents might be concerned that their child cannot pick up food with their fingers. An occupational therapy practitioner can work with the family to identify times during the day that the child can practice isolating her index finger and grasping small things. Together, the practitioner and parents might develop strategies to adapt meal times with larger bits of food for easier grasping, opportunities to press buttons on the TV remote, and work on pointing to pictures during the bedtime story routine at night. Incorporating therapy into regular occupations is a central tenet of occupational therapy. Occupational therapy practitioners support and encourage parents’ engaging with their child. The time a family spends working with a child in between an occupational therapy practitioner’s visits is vital. In an early intervention context, occupational therapy centers on the family, and the occupational therapy practitioner is there to support the family. Occupational therapy services are tailored to the child’s family, including siblings and other family members and services and alter and adapt as the family’s needs change. Occupational Therapy is important in early development to help maximize a child’s functional capacity. www.tciparents.com
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pregnancy little ones
BY Chenice Peniston-Williams
Spending Quality
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t is every parent’s wish to spend as much time as possible with their child….but then life happens! As a parent, you sometimes get pre-occupied with providing the physical needs of your child that you neglect attending to their more important needs. To my single mothers, this is where the dilemma usually lies! Put in those extra hours at work? Take that side job? Or go home and spend time with your child? In the end, the ideal choice should be spending time with your child, but what if you can’t? How do you get to maximize on spending quality time with your child while being the multi-tasking mom?
Plan Ahead
Believe it or not, planning ahead for your vacation or weekend outing can ensure that you stick to these plans. Keep a diary of activities and pen in the date with your little one so that you can plan other activities around that date. What I have observed to also work is informing your child of said outing. Won’t want to disappoint them, won’t you? 32
time
As such, this gesture holds you accountable while simultaneously building the excitement between you and your child.
Maximize on Time-off
As far as possible, maximize on your time off from work, whether it’s casual leave, vacation leave or holidays. Avoid using these days to do anything work related. Set aside this time for you and your child and by extension your family. This way, you don’t have to wonder about doing a magic trick to find days to enjoy some quality time with your child. Before leaving your work place, let your co-workers know of your plans to spend time with your child. More so, on these days, take a break from the electronic devices as much as possible. The only one to keep nearby is the camera and video recorder to capture the magical moments!
Working from home
Are you in a position to request the option to work from home a few days of the week or come in to work at a later time? Then why not pitch this idea to your boss or
Human Resource Team? This way, it’s a win/win for all parties! You accomplish your work-related tasks and get a bonus of enjoying some quality time with your child. Even if this is not an option at our workplace, it can be something that management can consider based on your suggestion.
BALANCE!
As with everything else in life, as a parent you must know how to strike a balance. You are now forced to develop impeccable time management skills in order to balance work and parenting. Don’t bring home any work to do unless it’s absolutely necessary! Can you take your parenting duties to work? So why take work at home? Find that balance on your scale of activities and make it work for you. Before you know it, your child would have grown up and you don’t want to miss any of these priceless moments. As little as the time spent with your child may be, make every moment count! As the saying goes, “Enjoy the little things in life for one day you would look back and realize they were the big things.”
www.tciparents.com
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tweens & teens (L-R) Maya Lopes-Wilson, Paige & www.tciparents.com Megan Zammit35
tweens & teens
BY Maxcia L. Rigby
Raising a Teenage daughter Friend or Foe?
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aising a teenage girl can be very challenging for parents. Our young ladies are trying to figure out life and they think they can do it on their own. I often wonder if my 14 year old daughter knows how much she is loved. She has parents that meet her every need and cares about her so much that we get involved in her life. Then I think back about how I felt as a teenager; I remember being confused and empty and longing for attention. I only learnt later on that a big part of my longing was for my parents to be my parents; for help so that I would not have to learn life’s hard lessons on my own. As parents we try to help them along this journey but it’s difficult; they don’t seem to want our help; most times they start off hating us. If we are “cool” parents we end up finding ourselves in the friend zone and as a parent this is not a good place to be. Being 36
your daughter’s friend may sound like a nice thing but the nice thing is not always the right thing to do. So what is the right thing to do? Well, when I think about doing the right thing, I think about being there for my daughter; because she has some challenges too. I try to compliment her and show her that I am her biggest fan. I let her be herself as much as possible and depend on my parenting and God help her make the right decisions. I also think about forgiveness because she will make mistakes. I think about love because there is so much to give and time goes by so quickly; soon she will find love on her own. I also think about giving direction and advice and practicing what I preach. Above all, though I often fail, I try to listen and say I’m sorry. As with any relationship this is the hardest of them all; though difficult, it produces the best results. She is my daughter
after all and I want the best for her. What do you want for your teenager? How can you show them you care and understand their struggles? What do you see for them in the future? Of course I won’t wear joggers or black lipstick but my daughter and I can get braids and our nails done and plan her best friend’s birthday. Though we have fun together, I’m not her friend or a foe; I’m her mother, the one who loves her enough to stay with her on this journey. She needs me to be her parent whether or not she sees it, knows it or understands it. That is really not my goal. My goal is to be the one who she can rely on, to make sacrifices and change things to ensure she succeeds. Surely, I won’t ever give up on her because one day she will say thank you because at that moment she will know and understand. Then nothing else will matter, NOTHING.
pregnancy the right Finding school for your child By Warwick Academy
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hether your child is quite young or a bit older, how do you decide where to send your child for his or her education? Obviously there can be many factors involved, including finances - but outside of those external factors, what should you consider? As someone who has been involved in education for over 25 years and has worked at schools in seven different countries that span four continents, this idea of what makes a great school is one that I have thought about a lot. It certainly does not depend on where in the world the school is! There is a mountain of documentation out there that compares different curriculum single-sex versus coed education; class sizes - and the list goes on. The one thing you quickly find out when you start looking at all of this documentation is that for one article that celebrates and recommends one approach, you can find another that celebrates and recommends a different approach. So, as parents are surrounded by this sea of sometimes contradictory ‘evidence’, what can we do to make up our own mind? There are many organizations around the world that set standards against which schools can compare themselves. When schools have been held to account by these organizations, one starts to see the common factors that they all identify as key to a quality school and first-class education. With
Probably one of the most important and difficult decisions we as parents, have to make is where to send our child to school. As children grow, we start to look around and can be overwhelmed by the choices. this in mind, I have put together some questions that I believe you should consider when you start researching schools for your child, regardless of their age: • How do the teaching staff attend to individual learning needs? Is there even recognition that different approaches should be used? • How diverse is the curriculum, and is it available to all students? Will your child have a chance to find an area in which he/she can excel, to balance areas where he/she may struggle? • What is the school’s approach to behaviour management? Are there clear expectations and a clear philosophy behind how the school supports positive behaviour? • What extracurricular opportunities are available for your child to take part in, and how diverse are those opportunities? • Is the school a learning community? What courses are teachers taking? How many are furthering their qualifications? Does the school think this is important? • For schools that take
external exams - what are the results like? Not just the top end results (these are important as they show what is possible), but the averages. How does the ‘average’ student at the school do? My final piece of advice is probably the most important: Visit the school when it is up and running! As soon as you step into the corridors of an educational establishment, you find out more than you possibly could from any other source. Consider the following: • What is the atmosphere in the classrooms like? Do children appear to be enjoying their learning? • What is the human interaction like in the school? (Child-to-child, adult-to-child, adult-to-adult). • Do the children and adults appear to be happy? (Do you hear any laughter as you move around?) I hope that this very brief piece has at least given you some ideas of what to look for should you be at the point where you have to make decisions on the best school for your child. www.tciparents.com
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pregnancy tweens & teens
BY Kimberly Wallace
Monitoring your
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tween and teen’s internet time
o other time in mankind’s history have we had the ability to access information on a grand scale as we do today. For that we have the internet to thank. Our parents and grandparents can recall a time when doing research involved going to the library and poring through books and encyclopedias, today you just have to think of any topic, ranging from the simplistic how to boil a perfect egg to the outlandish how to build your own airplane, enter it in the search bar and in a matter of seconds the results pile in. With a world as vast as the internet there is more information good and bad, harmful and harmless which we must navigate our way around. This is especially true in the case of youths who spend much time online posting pictures and connecting with friends via social media. Since the internet can expose young ones to dangerous influences like pornography and cyberbullying, parents should monitor what their teenager is viewing and who they are befriending online. For all the good that the internet can represent, there is also the bad and the ugly. The internet and social networking sites are tools used by sexual predators and recruiters for terrorist organisations, in both instances, real identities are hidden and the intention is to lure the unwary. Parents will be wise to 38
counteract this by communicating regularly with their teens, alerting them to online dangers and helping them use their critical thinking skills while online. Establishing an open and honest line of communication is important. Talk with your children, find out what sites they visit often, let them know they can come to you with whatever questions or concerns they may have and help them to understand that not everyone or everything on the internet is as it seems. Take a page from the late Steve Jobs, the late tech CEO limited the amount of time his children spent on the internet
so have some other CEOs who know only too well the risks that come with technology. Setting boundaries according to the child’s age can be especially important to prevent the child from becoming addicted to social media. Chances are your child knows more about the internet than you do, still your efforts to monitor their online activity can prepare them for the online world and protect them from dangers. something you regret. You can report photos and videos to the websites they are on or seek help from an adult you trust.
Body image issues in teens By Chenice Peniston-Williams
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any teens are preoccupied with how they look and worry about fitting into the ‘in’ crowd. At some point, we would have uttered some of those same statements or have someone close to us who would have been worried about how they look, especially during their adolescent phase. Teenage years are the period whereby your body experiences a myriad of changes. As your body undergoes these many changes, so too does the image of yourself. As a result, body image is directly linked to selfesteem. While on this journey, looking in the mirror and accepting and loving who and what you see being reflected, is a raging battle for many teens. But what really accounts for the healthy / unhealthy body images that teenagers perceive as acceptable? Who created this mold?
It is important to understand how the human body works. For some, puberty comes knocking earlier than others. So while this simply means that at eleven or twelve years old you are just more developed than your peers, you see yourself as being the fat kid! The one standing out (for the wrong reasons) in the crowd! So as you continue to develop, you engage in crash diets, binge eating or skipping meals in an attempt to look like everyone else…to belong to the ‘in crowd’. Or is it that we as a society allow the impact of media to tell our teens what is or is not the acceptable body type? As parents, we are to take some blame for allowing the media to raise our children and mold their perceptions of what body image is acceptable or not. It is the responsibility of the parent to ensure that your teenager accepts and loves his / her body image. Complimenting
your child or even maintaining a healthy lifestyle together by clean eating and keeping active can go a long way into boosting your teen’s confidence in his / her body image. Where possible, always create a positive space especially when speaking about the body. Mirror, mirror on the wall! To date, this trick still works! Look in the mirror every day and rather than focusing on what you don’t like about your body, focus on what you like and compliment yourself on it. Don’t stay stuck on the negatives! Rather than focusing on your weight and body image, change this unhealthy cycle by channeling your energy into being the healthiest and fittest YOU that you can be. No matter how you feel about your body image, remember that your body is the only place you have to live so you should always put extra effort into caring for it. Here are some daily recommendations for teens to improve their body image: - Find something every day to compliment yourself on! - You don’t like something about your body…CHANGE IT! You have the power to change anything you may dislike. - Get involved in group physical activities! Join like-minded persons with the same goal and vision as you to keep motivated and empowering yourself! - Think positive thoughts! - If necessary, seek counsel from a therapist, religious leader or health specialist. - LOVE YOURSELF! Give yourself a warm fuzzy hug and embrace all of you! www.tciparents.com
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tweens & teens
BY Yolande Robinson, B.Ed, M.Ed. Educational Consultant / Educational Materials Distributor
Instilling Gratitude
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e live in an age of instant gratification. Our children are growing up in an age where gratification is not delayed or earned in the same ways it may have been in the past. For this reason, it’s important to teach our children the virtue of gratitude. There are many virtues that our children have to learn when they are young. They need to learn how to share and how to take turns. These are skills that we want them to learn when they are young and that we teach them; we don’t expect them to just pick these up. This is important to keep in mind when we think of gratitude. Although living by example may encourage your children to show gratitude; it is also a skill that should be taught. Gratitude is a mindset that is developed through environment and the way in which we guide our children. As a parent, by practicing and encouraging gratitude, you are doing more than just teaching your children to say thank you and have good manners. You are helping them to develop a way of thinking that will help them be healthier and happier individuals that connect with the world around them. When you do not take the time to teach gratitude, you risk raising children that feel entitled and as a result may end up feeling perpetually disappointed as they grow up. So how can you teach gratitude? Adults wanting to improve their gratitude often begin gratitude journals. Although this is beneficial, it does not need to be so formal for children. Find ways to infuse gratitude into your daily conversations. Depending on your child, you may want to have a daily gratitude
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routine. In our household we say our ‘grateful’ in the car on the way to school. For my daughter and me, this sets the tone for the day. For others, they like to do it as part of morning devotions or nighttime prayers. It doesn’t really matter when you do it; it is just beneficial to get into the routine of doing it. If you are just beginning a gratitude routine with your children, you will need to model it. The concept can seem quite abstract and it will need to be a little more concrete in order to get it off the ground…especially for young children. Also, remember that there don’t need to be any conditions on your child’s gratitude. For example, one day you may get something deep such as, “I’m so grateful for the sun rises every morning.” But don’t be alarmed if the next day you get something like, “I am so grateful that mommy finally gave me CoCo puffs for breakfast this morning.” The key is remembering that you are teaching your child to slow down, be in the present, and be thankful for both the significant and seemingly insignificant things in their lives. For older children and teens,
you may suggest a gratitude journal. This is a fantastic way to help them be more mindful from an early stage in life. Continuing with a practice such as this one will give your teens the fuel they need in order to be able to deal with stressful and sometimes overwhelming emotions such as anger, shame, fear, and hostility. There are a number of other activities that can also increase the spirit of gratitude in your household. These include: • Deciding on good will projects that you will take on as a family • Encouraging generosity amongst siblings, family members and friends • Encouraging giving • Creating an environment where children have joy in giving and understand the value of giving as opposed to focusing on receiving As parents, it’s important that we remember that many of the values we want our children to have need to be taught. Gratitude is one of them. Take time to create not only a tone of gratitude in your family, but practices that reflect this tone.
Boarding Schools
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aren’t Academic Factories
ndependent boarding schools are renowned for producing wellqualified, highly successful and well-rounded young men and women. However, a German banker wrote recently that top boarding schools provided an unspectacular education and cocoon pupils from the real world, and chided that ‘the great strength of the schools and students is the self-presentation… but appearances are deceptive.’ He also concluded that boarding school pupils learned less than in his native Germany. However, this rather contentious verdict on boarding schools completely missed the point that the great strength of boarding schools is that they are so much more than academic factories.
Diversity
There are independent boarding schools of all different sizes and shapes; many of them offer specialist teaching in those areas which few government systems would be able to provide. Independent schools are able to teach ‘minority’ subjects, or to be centres of excellence for the full range of learning support and emotional needs; few governments would be able to provide this huge range of opportunity.
Opportunities
Contributed By NIALL BROWNE, BVS Education
Independent schools offer a plethora of opportunities to students both inside and outside the classroom. The quality of teaching at independent schools is renowned, supported by an extensive range of intellectual pursuits after lessons have finished – but the often spectacular standards achieved in sport, adventure and the performing arts are also why parents choose to spend so much of their hard-earned money on their children’s education. Of course any child can find these things without going to boarding school, but the fact that all these things are available around the clock and on their doorstep is crucial to creating well-rounded
involved young adults.
Independence
Our progression through childhood and the teenage years is a journey of gaining greater independence. Boarding schools, at whatever age, allow our youngsters the ability to learn to be independent and responsible learners and thinkers, through structured independence. This can offer a valuable edge for university and life beyond.
Presentation
There is no doubt that being involved in such a wide range of activities, being exposed to a high standard of teaching and living and working with contemporaries and adults, means that boarding school pupils often become confident adults who are ease with themselves and those around them. In a world where we often decry how teenagers spend too long playing with vacuous computer games and not interacting properly with the real world, surely this is something to be applauded?
Success
There is no doubt that students from independent boarding schools have a huge success rate in achieving places at top universities. Similarly, many of the top professions, large international companies and world governments are led by former boarding school students. In an increasingly competitive and meritocratic world, it would be quite naïve to suggest that this is purely the result of the ‘old school tie’; rather it is a reflection of the culmination of the things outlined above. So, when the German banker suggested that independent schools were more style than substance, he was quite wrong: of course there are excellent government schools throughout the world and Bermuda is blessed with having some excellent schools both government and private but independent boarding schools do offer something different, something special and something that many parents will try to give their children if they can. A visit to a modern boarding school should easily disabuse any notion that an independent school education is not money not well spent www.tciparents.com
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dinner time
Cannelloni filled with
Salmon & Spinach
INGREDIENTS
DIRECTIONS
Lasagna -250 g sheets Butter - 45 ml Onion - 1, finely chopped Garlic - 1 clove, crushed Spinach - 250 g, washed, dripping wet Creme fraiche - 30 ml Nutmeg - To taste, freshly grated Salmon - 600 g fillet, sliced into 12 long pieces Flour - 30 ml, all purpose Milk - 400 ml Parmesan - 100 g, grated
Bring plenty of salted water to a boil. Cook the pasta sheets according to the package instructions until they bend.
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Dip into cold water and lay on a kitchen towel to dry. Heat 15 ml butter in a pan and fry the onion and garlic over a medium heat until soft. Add the spinach and cook until it wilts.
Stir in the creme fraiche and season with salt, ground pepper and nutmeg. Butter an ovenproof dish. Lay some spinach and a salmon strip on each pasta sheet and roll up to resemble cannelloni. Lay in the dish with the join underneath. Heat the oven to 200C (180C fan) 400F, gas 6. Melt the remaining butter.
Coffee Cake
INGREDIENTS
2 1/4 teaspoons 2 tablespoons of granulated sugar 3/4 cup warm milk 1 large egg 3 cups all-purpose flour 1 stick unsalted butter, 1 large egg, lightly beaten with 1 tablespoon heavy cream, for egg wash Stir in the flour and fry until golden brown, then gradually stir in the milk with a balloon whisk. Bring to a boil briefly, stirring continuously. Season with salt, ground pepper and nutmeg. Pour the sauce over the pasta rolls and sprinkle with cheese. Bake for 20-25 minutes until the salmon is done and the pasta rolls are lightly browned.
DIRECTIONS Sprinkle yeast and a pinch of granulated sugar over milk in a medium bowl.
dessert
Beat on low speed until almost fully combined, about 30 seconds. Switch to the dough-hook attachment. Add butter. Beat until smooth, soft, and slightly sticky, about 10 minutes. Butter a large bowl. Turn out dough onto a floured surface; knead a few times until smooth. Place in bowl, turn to coat, and cover with plastic wrap.
Let stand until foamy, about 5 minutes.
Let stand in a warm place until doubled in volume, 1 to 1 1/2 hours.
Whisk together remaining 1/4 cup plus 2 tablespoons granulated sugar, the egg, and yolk.
Transfer pan to a wire rack. Let cake cool.
Combine flour and 1/2 teaspoon salt in the bowl of a mixer.
Make the glaze: Mix together confectioners’ sugar and milk. Drizzle over cake.
Add egg mixture.
Let set for 5 minutes before serving. www.tciparents.com
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environment
Think Clean! Going Green!
Ramez Hakoura TCI Waste Disposal Part2
M
anagers, already accustomed to separating waste in previous jobs or countries they lived in before, were quickly enthused about the idea, passing on directives to staff members to participate in the process by placing separated trash in compartmentalized industrial bins provided by TCI Wastes. This enthusiasm did not trickle down to the lower staff- the men and women who were physically going to do the separation. . Instead a sort of educational programme had to be fashioned. Hakoura visited the hotels and gave lectures and presentations on the need for recycling. In a short time, the hotels were truly on board management and staff working in tandem with TCI Wastes to create a greener Turks and Caicos. Presently commercial customers have expanded from the one, to include additional hotels and several companies. The residential side of things also faced its own set of challenges; speed bumps that slowed things down, but did not stop the journey. While there were some who quickly accepted the recycling mandate, there were some who felt it a bother. To make matters easier for would be recyclers, the company provided each residential home with two bins - one green for non-recyclables, and the other blue for recyclables. “What we did at TCI Waste Disposal, is try to make it as simple as possible. We’ve only got two separations. We’ve got one for everything that’s non-recyclable and one bin for everything that’s recyclable. So all the commingled recyclables go together - the glass,
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bottles and cans. And then we bring that back to our facility and we separate all that out,” says Hakoura. Currently, the plant recycles cardboards, glass, aluminum cans and polyethylene terephthalate (PET) plastics; specifically PET1 plastics. PET 1 plastics are clear plastics under 1 litre and can be easily identified by the number one marked inside the universal recycling symbol. It is commonly used to package soft drinks, water, juice and many other products. The cardboard, the plastics and aluminum cans are crushed and shipped first to Florida and on to recycling plants in China. Glass is processed on site; either shredded to a sandlike texture and used to create aggregate, or into larger, more crystalline fragments that are used in decoration. The sandlike glass, used in place of its natural counterpart, is mixed with concrete and used in the construction of pavements, roads and driveways. The crystalline glass is quite stunning and is popular in landscaping to create beautiful gardens. Hakoura is proud of the progress made thus far, both by the company and its clients- commercial and residential, and says though the country has come a long way from the zero recycling that was done just a few short years, there is more that can and will be done. In fact, he plans to continue educating persons throughout the islands on the importance of recycling, particularly by going into schools. This will ensure that recycling will become second nature to the next generation. He stresses that the
importance of recycling cannot be underestimated. Not only will it preserve the beautiful Turks and Caicos Islands, but it will also attract visitors and investors alike. Tourists, he says are accustomed to recycling in their home countries, and with the world becoming more environmentally friendly everyday day, they will be drawn to countries that demonstrate that they are indeed eco-friendly. Investors he says will only invest if they see the potential for increase. “One thing you have to understand is that when people are coming to invest here, sometimes they’re investing a lot of moneywe’re talking, millions and millions of dollars. When someone is investing millions of dollars, they’re looking at the long term, they’re looking at the future. They might invest five million dollars in a development or land. This site isn’t going to make them their money back next week. If they see that there’s no form of environmental awareness and that in five to seven years’ time their land is going to look worse than it did when they purchased it, they’re not going to invest here. They want to know that in the future they’re investment now has more value- and it certainly won’t have more value if it’s in a worst and dirtier state.”
www.tciparents.com
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aspire health & wellness
BY Dr. Kuni Frith Black
The great gluten
Debate
A gluten-free diet is a diet that excludes the protein gluten. Gluten is found in grains such as wheat, barley, rye, and a cross between wheat and rye called triticale. A gluten-free diet is primarily used to treat celiac disease. Gluten causes inammation in the small intestines of people with celiac disease.
T
hese days gluten free has become a household word and ongoing discussions are being carried out on whether or not one should eat gluten free. Many folks are opting to go gluten free for a number of health reasons. There is scientific data to support gluten is no longer connected to just celiac disease. Gluten sensitivity is affecting up to 40% of the American population according to the latest scientific research. Some of the health issues associated with foods containing gluten are joint pain, depression, eczema, headaches, gas, bloating, diarrhea, constipation, skin rashes, high blood pressure, fatigue, brain fog, abdominal pain, obesity, thyroid imbalance and hair loss to name a few. Dr. William Davis, a preventive cardiologist produced decades of clinical studies on health imbalances related to gluten sensitivity. Davis wrote the New
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York Times best seller Wheat Belly where he outlines his research alongside numerous case histories of persons who have transformed their lives and health by eliminating wheat from their diets. A research article published in The American Journal of Gastroenterology concluded that gluten was a trigger for many people who were non-celiac. Gluten has also been linked to the sharp increase in Type 2 diabetes and obesity. Further research is released from the Foundation for Alternative and Integrative Medicine with regard to gluten sensitivity citing the symptoms of this debilitating disorder as often overlooked by doctors. Dr. Jonathan V. Wright is a guest writer for the Foundation for Alternative and Integrative Medicine. Dr. Wright reveals that if you are suffering from an undiagnosed health imbalance or if you have been diagnosed with an incurable autoimmune disease, you should consider getting tested for
gluten sensitivity. I have been experimenting with gluten free flours for the last year and a half and found that gluten free baked goods taste as good as, or even better in some cases than treats baked with flours containing gluten. I take pride in sharing my gluten free treats with friends and family and watch their reaction when they discover that they have eaten gluten free desserts. They cannot believe there is no compromise in taste. The usual expectation is a taste similar to cardboard, or that it would be a bland and unpalatable experience. Gluten free flours are often made from gluten free grains, nuts, legumes and seeds. They can be found at local grocery stores and health food stores. There is usually a recipe or two on the back of the package for beginners. If you want to get really creative, search the internet for endless possibilities to creating gluten free desserts that will raise eyebrows. Gluten free flours are high in
vitamins and minerals and the health benefits far outweigh their gluten counterparts. Gluten free flours are often organic which places them at the top of the whole foods chain for nutritional benefit. Here is a list of 12 gluten free flours along with a brief explanation on the health benefits of each one. Almond Meal/Flour helps to lower cholesterol levels and is loaded with potassium, iron, magnesium and calcium. Coconut Flour is made from finely ground coconut. Coconut flour is a low carbohydrate, low glycemic, high fiber food. Chick Pea Flour is often used in place of white flour. Chick Pea flour is rich in protein and fiber. Flax Meal/Flour is a powerful source of Omega 3 fatty acids. Flax meal helps to balance nutritional needs and is easily blended with other flours. Amaranth Flour delivers a silky texture along with a nutty, buttery taste to baked goods, waffles and pancakes. High in fiber, zinc, iron and calcium, Amaranth flour compliments any
dessert while meeting nutritional needs. Buckwheat is bursting with folate, magnesium and potassium. This grain is known to relax muscles, improve blood flow and lower blood pressure levels. Oat Flour is considered a heart healthy, cholesterol reducing food. Please note that while some persons living with celiac disease and gluten sensitivity are not affected by Oat flour in baked goods, others are unable to tolerate the grain. Oat flour blends well
with other gluten free flours and is an excellent replacement for white or wheat flour. Millet contains phosphorus, magnesium and manganese. Phosphorus is important for repairing body tissue and encouraging healthy cell growth. Millet is a prized grain in China, Africa, India and Greece. Quinoa is packed with 9 essential amino acids and has three times the amount of iron as regular flour. Quinoa flour is a healthy alternative to gluten flours and works well in pastries, muffins and other tasty baked treats. Sorghum is another excellent alternative for wheat based flour. Sorghum contains several nutrients needed to maintain good health. Brown Rice Flour is rich in insoluble fiber. Brown Rice flour aids weight loss, regulates blood sugar levels and contains a high level of B vitamins. Cassava Flour boasts important minerals like copper, potassium and zinc, along with vitamins b6 and vitamin C. Cassava flour is low in fat and rich in fiber and carbohydrates. An energy bar made with Cassava flour may be beneficial for muscle recovery after a vigorous exercise program. www.tciparents.com
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aspire tips beauty Contributed By Thea Lowe-Gangasingh
Soothing Angry Skin
Inamed, angry skin is a common complaint amongst persons with sensitive skin. It can be caused by many factors such as allergies, autoimmune disorders and environmental irritants such as poor skincare routines or overexposure to sun or wind. You may also be using harsh cleansers or roughly exfoliating your face.
I
f you suspect that an underlying medical condition may be the cause of your skin problems, you should see a dermatologist who can correctly diagnose and treat you. There are various ways to calm your angry skin, either with the use of natural ingredients or recipes you can whip up at home or by purchasing skincare products specifically for sensitive skin and switching up your skincare routine. Sensitive skin cleansers are gentler
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and contain less irritating chemicals than those formulated for normal skin.
Soothing Home Remedies
a) Cucumber - grated cucumber makes a cooling and soothing mask for red, irritated skin. Apply to your face for 10 minutes to allow the juices to soothe your skin before rinsing off with cool water. b) Coconut Oil - this is a
great antibacterial and antifungal and can be used as a moisturizer after cleansing your face. It is ideal for sensitive-dry skin types. c) Raw Honey - this is a great mask by itself and reduces inflammation, redness, and allergy reactions, heals and oxygenates the skin. d) Chamomile Tea Chamomile is an antifungal and moisturizer for skin and has been found to be very effective in
soothing skin irritation, inflammation and sunburns when applied topically. Simply boil 2 cups of water and place 2 to 3 teabags inside, allow to simmer on low heat until the liquid is greatly reduced. The less liquid remaining, the more concentrated the remaining will be. Strain the liquid and apply as needed with a cotton ball after gently cleansing the skin. e) Oatmeal Mask - This mask can be used by anyone, especially if your skin is itchy, dry, irritated and sensitive. Simply grind or blend the oatmeal until fine and mix with whole milk plain yogurt and honey to form a paste. Apply to clean dry skin on the face and neck. Let it set for 15 to 20 minutes and then rinse well with warm water and pat dry. f) Cold Compress - wet a washcloth and pop it into a zip-lock bag and place in the freezer for a few minutes until cold. After cleansing the skin, place the towel unto the face to ease inflammation. Repeat as necessary until some relief is felt. g) Aloe Vera - Fresh or raw Aloe Vera is effective in treating a variety of skin conditions, from flaky or dry skin, sunburn, wounds, cosmetic ailments, hair and scalp problems to many more. It moisturizes skin without a greasy feel making it great for any skin type. Simply cut open a piece of Aloe and gently rub the gel onto the face or problem areas, allow it to absorb into the skin; apply more as needed.
Gentle Skincare Routine for Angry Skin
a) Cleanse skin with a gentle cleanser formulated for sensitive skin. Use warm to cool water when washing to avoid over-drying your delicate facial skin. Pat dry.
Photo By: Matthew Creese | MUA: Irie T. Mua
b) Combine a few tablespoons of rose water to equal parts of witch hazel to make a cooling, soothing astringent that is safe for sensitive or irritated skin. Apply gently to your skin, as other moisturizers may contain greasy, irritating ingredients that can exacerbate your skin after cleansing using a cotton ball. condition. Avoid anti-acne moisturizers, which can also cause further drying and increase irritation. c) Use a gentle moisturizer formulated for sensitive www.tciparents.com
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family living
Plan Before You Plunge
H
ave you been thinking of starting a business for a while now, but have not taken the steps that will make your dream come true? If you have been developing the idea, watching the market, examining the trends, evaluating your competitors accessing your own capabilities, you just may be ready to take the plunge. As you continue to selfanalyze your readiness, use the five questions below to help you find the answers you need to take the next step. Take the time to honestly answer the questions to help you figure out whether you are indeed ready to take the plunge into entrepreneurship. 1. Is my business idea an incredible opportunity that will allow me to pursue my passion? 2. Am I ready to put everything in this business (time, money, resources...)? 3. Could I survive for months with little or no income from this business?
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4. Can I start and develop this business without sacrificing the things that matter most to me (family, health, another hobby...)? 5. Would I wake up every day and be excited to go to work? If your answer is a resounding “Yes!� to these questions, then you ARE ready to take the plunge. Your priorities are clear and the initial financial ups-and-downs of starting a business are not a significant deterrent to you. However, before you plunge into entrepreneurship, you must plan. Continue to ask the important questions. As a leader, what will you bring to this business? How will you make it grow and thrive? How will you make sure that you still enjoy it when the going gets tough? In order to answer these questions you must look at your strengths, and identify your opportunities for growth. Utilise your network of support to help mitigate some weaknesses you may have. There are many places where you can find the expertise, and the advice that you will need to help start your business. BEDC
provides free guidance and advice to help you answer some of your questions. There are other local organizations and consultants that can also help you although they may charge a fee. However, paying for advice at the start can be worth it in order to secure success in the future. As you move forward into entrepreneurship, some challenges that you may face include keeping track of finances and human resource management. If you are not very good with numbers, consider one of the many userfriendly accounting software packages like QuickBooks that can help you to develop templates to help keep track of your income and expenses and if this task becomes too daunting, don’t be afraid to hire an accountant. Managing human capital can sometimes be one of the most difficult parts of owning your own business. Rely on advice and guidance from a mentor. He or she may share some tips and hints from his/her own experience that can help guide you.
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family finances
Contributed BY Carla Seely Vice President of Pension and Investments at Freisenbruch-Meyer
When there is no ‘Happily Ever After’
Managing money and a family after divorce
S
ometimes life just isn’t fair. You’ve worked hard, you’ve saved hard and you’ve tried to raise your children with good values but your marriage has suffered one way or another. No matter how hard you have tried, you and your spouse have decided call it quits. There will be a lot of changes in your life once you make the decision to get divorced. Whether you like it or not, there is a need to accept all these changes, especially if they are going to turn your world upside down. So what happens now when you are still juggling much of the same life you had before, but now it is just you? Some of the major aspects in your life that will change are your finances and how you deal with your children’s expectations after divorce. Newly single individuals are typically concerned about their finances and want to make sure they have enough for their immediate needs, and that they’ll have enough for the other things down the road, such as education and retirement.
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The first step is creating your own financial independence: a new bank account, updating beneficiaries on life insurance Carla Seely policies and your pension plan and equally important, creating a new “Just Me” monthly budget. The shock of looking at your newly formed single named bank account and noticing the bank balance is not rising as steadily as it once did may leave you feeling bewildered or even panicky. Furthermore, noticing that your expenses are not that much different than they were before is really frustrating. For most people there is not much you can do to increase the income coming into the account on a monthly basis at the start but there are definitely a few things you can do to trim down what is heading out of the account each month. Budgeting is the foundation for getting things on track again and the first step is to list your current income and expenses. Keep in mind that while many of your expenses may be lower than when you were married, they won’t necessarily be cut in half – after all, it takes the same energy to run lights whether one person or two. Think about ways to trim down your expenses. Can you bring your lunch to work instead of buying it? Can you give up yoga classes right now until can clearly track your spending patterns? Be honest about what is necessary and what can be reduced or postponed. Updating your documents to reflect a new beneficiary on your pension plan, and life insurance policy is essential. It’s important to remember if the beneficiary is a minor you will need to list a
guardian who will be in charge of those assets until the minor becomes of legal age. Another task at hand is to head back to the lawyers but this time you need to find a lawyer who specializes in Wills and Estates because it is time to write/re-write your Will. It’s important to think long and hard about where you want your assets to go in the event of your early demise, and again, if you have children and they are minors, remember to include a guardian. One consideration which needs to be addressed is health insurance. Were you covered under your spouse’s insurance? If so you may need to now apply independently. If you are not currently working will you be responsible for paying the entire amount or is this something that is part of your divorce settlement? What happens if you have a pre-existing condition that was being covered under your spouse’s plan; will it
be covered under the new plan? All these questions need to be asked and answered so you understand the potential greater impact and can plan accordingly. What is often the most difficult part of any divorce is considering the children. Who is going to live with who, financial responsibilities for the children, and working as a “co-parent”. Although there is no “typical divorce” and no “magic formula” for ensuring the most positive child outcomes, there are some general principles that certainly seem to make it a little easier: • Be there for your children, both physically and emotionally. • Talk with your children about the divorce. • Speak about and act in a
respectful manner toward the other parent, especially in front of your children. • Maintain open communication channels with the other parent about the children. • Have a concrete plan on to how you both plan to handle child expenses.
Lastly, it’s important to realize that you are not going to know everything or be able to do everything. Clearly there will be some gaps you will identify that your spouse fulfilled before. Perhaps they did the finances in the family, or were the handyman around the house or the taxi driver for the children’s activities. Figure out what the gaps are and “OUTSOURCE”: need someone to help with your finances? -find a financial planner. Need a handyman?- ask the neighbour, a brother or cousin and get them to show you how to fix it. Looking for someone to help cart the children around? - ask your family or other parents at your children’s school – honestly, most people are happy to help. Don’t let pride get in the way of making your newly single life a bit easier, no one is going to look at you any differently. The reality is, you can’t change the situation at hand but you can certainly change your attitude and how you handle the outcome of your finances and family. www.tciparents.com
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Wrap your newborn in comfort and protection so all he feels is
love.
Š2014 P&G
Wrap your baby in the blanket-like softness of Pampers Swaddlers. The wetness indicator lets you know when it might be time for a change. And for our best gentle clean, try Pampers Sensitive Wipes.
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2 FORMULAS FOR EVERY SKIN TYPE NORMAL/DRY COMBINATION/OILY
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