TCI Parents Spring 2017 by Turks & Caicos Parent Magazine

SPRING 2017

AN ESSENTIAL GUIDE TO WHAT PARENTS ARE TALKING ABOUT

Dealing with

childhood fears and anxieties Learning Disorders

Things to do

before labour

Vacationing while on

a diet

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Cover Photo

Content PREGNANCY & BABY 10 Things to do before

24 Creating a schedule for your child

Don’t expect baby to just latch on and start feeding. For both of you, it will be a learning process.

Remember that kids’ minds are developing each day, they don’t have full control of their emotions yet, and things like a sudden change in the norm can really throw them...

12 Avoid these things while pregnant

26 Dealing with Childhood childhood fears and anxieties

labour

While there are many obvious answers to this, some of the things you shouldn’t do while pregnant may not be so self-explanatory.

LITTLE ONES 22 Teaching our Children to

Navigate this Age of Instant Gratification

We live in an age of instant gratification. Our children, whether 2 or 12, are exposed to videogames, the internet and toys that do what they say with the swipe of a finger or the press of a button.

So do any of you have children that are afraid of the dark? Or monsters? Or dogs? Fears and anxieties are natural in childhood.

TWEENS & TEENS 39 Managing a scattered teen For the average person, it may seem that I’m speaking a foreign language, but for those of us who are dealing with a teenager who fits the following description....

Florence Grace Fielding and her borther Joshua William Fielding

40-41 Teen dating

How young is too young?

Many parents take the issue of teen ating on a case-by-case basis because every kid is different. Some children are fairly mature at age 16, while others may not be ready for a first date until age 19.

42 Understanding basic skin care

If you have ever had any trouble figuring out what certain terms on your skin care products mean, then keep on reading. Below I’ve listed some of the most common terms along with their meanings.

HEALTH & WELLNESS 46 Budgeting

A budget is a plan for your future income and expenditures that you can use as a guideline for spending and saving.

editor’s note What Parents are Talking About PUBLISHER

Creative Designs EDITOR

Patrina Pierre A DVE R T I S I NG S A LE S

Nidra Ganness tciparentsmag@gmail.com D E S I G N & PRO DU C T I ON

Creative Designs W R I T E R S & CONT R I B UTO RS

Chenice Peniston-Williams, Hope Stafford-Regis, Heather Bernard, Rebecca Payne, Kimberly Wallace, Robin Bardegett, Yolande Robinson, Thea Lowe-Gangasingh, Maxcia Rigby CO N TR I B U T I NG PHOTO GR AP H ERS

Attimi Photography and Eva Lakhani Turks & Caicos Parents Magazine is associate with Bermuda Parent Magazine but is published by Creative Designs every three months. Reader correspondence, photo submissions and editorial submissions are welcome. We reserve the right to edit, reject or comment editorially on all material contributed. No portion of this magazine may be reproduced without express written consent of the publisher. The opinions expressed by contributors or writers do not necessarily reflect the opinions of this magazine. Distribution of this product does not constitute an endorsement of the products or services herein. CO N TAC T US

tciparentsmag@gmail.com Tel: 954-708-5299 www.tciparents.com facebook.com/TCIParents

Parenting 101

As we all know that last thing a new parent wants to hear are those random easier-said-than-done clichés advice. “Sleep while they are sleeping”,” Enjoy them while they are young”, or “Trust your gut”. No! Most of the time they are so lost and just dying for some sound advice. Parenting is difficult all by itself, there are no reference manuals; or no app, so most of us play it by air or by instinct. We tend to inculcate what we learnt as children growing up, or see on television. Some of us develop our own style and tweak as we go alone. No two children are the same so what worked for one may not necessarily work for the other. We have to adjust while we go along but keep the fundamental principles. Personally I believe there is no wrong or right way, every individual is different and we have to learn to respect and accept each other differences. However, I believe that teaching our children to love God, to love self regardless of how different the world perceives you, uncompromising respect, good manners, and determination to achieve their goals in life are key elements to a successful life. If these traits are engrained in our children from an early age then our future generation’s future is promising. This edition features “How to teach our children to navigate this age of instant gratification” pg22 and all about different types of “Learning Disorders” and how you can get help identifying them pg28-29. Follow us on Facebook, visit our website at www.tciparents.com or send us am email at tciparentmag@gmail.com. Don’t forget please share a copy with a friend.

Patrina Pierre Editor notes

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TCI Parents

Want to see your child featured here? Email a photo to tciparentmag@gmail.com

JaiiDon St. Ange

Kirkland Vickers Jr

Nadhlenny Mota

Jaire Evander Reyes

Jotham Ezra Reyes

Nyra James

Jamell Robinson Jr

Tyler

Justine Rianne

Malanique

Rodney Adams

Tanazh Gray

Vivaan Castleton

Maleek

Jasaiah & Kevin Shalander ll

Antwanique and Sarah

Temera Dean

Teandre Handfield

Aaron Taylor & Bella Watkins

Alexander Been

Adrien Penn

Deyzariah & Delano Jr Pratt

Justin

Alexander Grant

Aydan Williams

Aza

Delano Pratt Jr.

Celine

n Misick

Aniyah Cash

ariah Seymour

Geordin & Geornae Missick

Anthony Weatherspoon

Clarence & Celine Parker

Davaughn, Davaurii & Davin Daniel

Aaron & Ethan Gangasingh

Aminata-Jaeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122; Rigby & Makhya Wignal

Jade and Jada Handfield

pregnancy & baby www.tciparents.com

pregnancy & baby

BY Elena Mauer - The Bump

Things to do before

KNOW THE BREASTFEEDING BASICS Don’t expect baby to just latch on and start feeding. For both of you, it will be a learning process and some new moms have trouble. Head off problems as much as you can by learning the basics before you give birth. GET A CRIB AND SET UP THE NURSERY Every baby needs to have a comforting place to sleep. Purchase and set up the crib or bassinet completely and follow this checklist for creating a safe and practical nursery before baby moves in. TALK TO YOUR DOCTOR ABOUT YOUR DELIVERY OPTIONS You’re going to see a lot of your OB over the course of your pregnancy. Those appointments can be overwhelming, but try to take advantage of that time to have ongoing conversations about your delivery plans. Since most doctors have admitting privileges at more than one hospital, you’ll want to decide which is the best fit for you whether it’s the one closest to home or one with a special birthing center. You’ll also want to go over your birth plan and make sure you’re on the same page about your preferences, including medication, induction options and interventions so there are fewer surprises come delivery day.

Labour PACK YOUR HOSPITAL BAG

Make sure you have all the essentials before you head to the hospital. Check out our packing list and these extras moms couldn’t live without. INSTALL THE CAR SEAT Once you go into labor, both you and your partner will be too nervous to read step-by-step instructions carefully or to think clearly enough to know the car seat is installed correctly. So do it early and it will be all set to go when delivery day arrives.

in contact with baby’s skin before he or she wears them. While you don’t need to pre-wash everything in the dresser just yet, it’s good to prepare at least a week’s worth of clothing so it’s one less thing to worry about while recovering from childbirth. Wash items separately using a gentle, baby-friendly detergent that’s free of dyes or perfumes. CHOOSE A PEDIATRICIAN

You can’t go wrong by asking people you know for advice you’ll be sure to get an honest answer and a recommendation from someone you trust. Before you start making calls and setting up consultations. WASH CRIB SHEETS AND And try not to stress too much BABY CLOTHES about it if it turns out that the It’s definitely a good idea to wash pediatrician you picked isn’t quite working out, you can simply find a swaddles, crib sheets, blankets and any other items that will come new one and move on.

PHOTO BY ATTIMI PHOTOGRAPHY

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pregnancy & baby

Courtesy Joy Lynskey - Expecting Parents & Baby

Avoid these things while While there are many obvious answers to this, some of the things you shouldn’t do while pregnant may not be so self-explanatory. However, they could be seriously dangerous no-no’s. Let’s take a look at those elements that pregnant women shouldn’t do under any circumstances.

here are a few types of foods you should try to avoid during your pregnancy.

Pregnant

You should avoid all raw and unpasteurized cheeses and meats when possible. Heat your deli meats to at least 145 Fahrenheit before eating.

junkie foods or filling fast foods isn’t just that you’re putting high, fat, greasy foods into your body to share with your developing baby. It’s more a problem of having a significantly smaller stomach during pregnancy. The more junk food you put in the less room you’ll have (the less you’ll want to eat) to put in healthy, nutritious food your baby needs to grow.

and of great nutritional value to your growing baby, however, some types of fish have an elevated mercurial value. So make sure to avoid fish high in mercury — shark, swordfish, king mackerel, and tilefish, among others. For more information on which fish to avoid and which are totally safe during pregnancy, read here.

Junk/Fast Food

Certain types of fish

Fat soluble vitamins are great in small doses. In larger doses they can be dangerous.

Cheeses/Meats

The real problem with eating 12

Fish is definitely brain food

Extra vitamin supplements

Make sure to talk to your physician before adding any more vitamins besides your prenatal.

Prescription and OTC Medications

Alcohol and Drug No-No’s

You don’t have to look to street drugs and alcohol for substances likely to cause developmental or birth issues. Some prescription drugs can actually be far more devastating in effect than alcohol or illegal drugs. Make sure to talk with your physician before you take any new prescription or OTC drugs.

The placenta can’t filter all drugs. But the drugs you should avoid aren’t just limited to street drugs. Illegal Drugs – The use of street drugs during pregnancy is associated with pregnancy complications for mom and developmental impairment for baby. Alcohol – Alcohol can have a variety of negative effects on you and your developing baby. The main problem with consuming any amount of alcohol during pregnancy is that researchers have been unable to determine a ‘safe’ amount to consume while pregnant.

Toxin’s No-No’s

There are plenty of toxins you’ll find around the average home that a pregnant woman needs to avoid. Smoking and Second-Hand Smoke – This is a given. If you smoke, seek help to stop. Ideally before you get pregnant. Second-hand smoke is equally as dangerous for you and your baby. So prevent others from

smoking in closed quarters with you whenever possible, as well. Paint Fumes – If you’re worried about which paints are safe for your pregnancy as well as your newborn baby, look for low VOC paints to decorate the nursery with or look for someone who will paint it for you. Garden and Lawn Chemicals – Keep an eye on labels on all of these products and do not use if they suggest they are dangerous during pregnancy. In general, avoid contact whenever possible with pesticides, herbicides and fungicides. Personal Care Products – Just as with lawn chemicals, keep your eyes on the safety labels on all products. The safest products will have the fewest ingredients or the USDA Certified Organic Seal. Basic Household Cleaners – Avoid those with a long list of ingredients a well as any labeled as poisonous or those with warnings and dangers. During your pregnancy, you’ll find that a safe option for cleaning most things around the house is basic ingredients you have around the home already, like baking soda and vinegar.

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The Hope Foundation for Autism Awarenee TCI Inc. www.tciparents.com

little ones

BY Dr. Renee Simons

Having a baby changes everything If these symptoms worsen or persist over time, it may be a more serious condition called Postpartum Depression (PPD). PPD is a serious mental health problem characterized by a prolonged period of emotional disturbance, occurring days or even months after the birth of a new baby. It can make it hard to get through the day, and can affect your ability to take care of your baby, or yourself. PPD can affect anyone, regardless of age, race, ethnicity, or the circumstances surrounding the pregnancy or birth. This condition can last weeks or months if left untreated and can have significant consequences for both the new mother and the rest of the family.

e have all heard the saying, “having a baby changes everything,” of course it does! Enter the joys of parenting, including sleepless nights, continuous feedings and a seemingly infinite amount of dirty diapers. But what happens when stress, anxiety, sadness, and exhaustion cloud such a happy and joyous occasion? It is common for new mom’s to experience the “baby blues” feeling stressed, sad, anxious, lonely, tired or weepy following their baby’s birth. Luckily, the “baby blues” typically go away over time.

Affects the Entire Family Children of mothers with postpartum depression can; become withdrawn, irritable, or inconsolable. They may display an insecure attachment and behavioral problems, experience problems in cognitive, social, and emotional development, and have a higher risk of anxiety disorders and major depression in childhood and adolescence.

What about Fathers? Fathers can also be depressed in the postpartum period, especially if the mother is depressed or if the father is not satisfied with the marital relationship or with life after the birth of the child. 16

What to do If you think you may be suffering from PPD, don’t face it alone, seek help from a psychologist or other mental health provider or contact your doctor. Talk openly about your feelings with your partner, other mothers, friends, and relatives. Recruit relatives or close friends who can help you take care of the baby. Get as much sleep or rest as you can. Once you have gotten clearance from your doctor, try to exercise regularly. Try not to worry about unimportant tasks and cut down on less important responsibilities be realistic about what you can do while taking care of a new baby.

Warning Signs & Symptoms

1. A loss of pleasure or interest in things you used to enjoy, including sex 2. Eating much more, or much less, than you usually do 3. Anxiety all or most of the time or panic attacks 4. Racing, scary thoughts 5. Feeling guilty or worthless blaming yourself

6. Excessive irritability, anger or agitation mood swings

12. Feeling numb or disconnected from your baby, family, and friends

7. Sadness, crying uncontrollably for very long periods of time

13. Difficulty concentrating, remembering details, or making decisions

8. Feeling guilty about not being a good mom, or ashamed that you cannot care for your baby.

14. Having scary or negative thoughts about the baby, like thinking someone will take your baby away or hurt your baby.

9. Fear of being left alone with the baby

15. Thoughts of hurting yourself or the baby (if this happens, get immediate help- call 911, tell a close relative or family member, or go to your doctor).

10. Trouble sleeping when your baby sleeps (more than the lack of sleep new moms usually get). 11. Sleeping too much, difficulty falling or staying asleep

If these warning signs or symptoms last longer than 2 weeks, you may need to get help.

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real life real stories

Everyday is a miracle

was always encouraged to write my story, but thought it was too painful to talk about and to relive those moments. There was so much pain and anxiety during that period of my life. Then again, there is so much people can learn from my experience. Being the parent of a micro preemie (born before 27weeks) has opened my heart and mind in so many ways. After experiencing a few

miscarriages and never going pass 20 weeks, I was extremely excited as my pregnancy seemed to progress after my 23rd week. I built up the confidence to take my first belly shot and started thinking about holding her in my arms. Despite the many obstacles to get to this point like having a cerclage place and being on bedrest, I was still on cloud nine. However, that was short lived by week 24 I started having

contractions and was admitted into the hospital. Later that same day my water bag burst and I was rushed in for an emergency C section. On October 26 at 4pm Tyesha Destiny was born 1lb 3oz and 12inches long. It’s a place you likely didn’t expect, sitting in the NICU, watching your tiny baby fight for her life. It’s a place you wouldn’t choose and if you’re like me you

had every intention and dream of holding a healthy, plump baby on your chest shortly after birth. A dream of leaving the hospital baby in tow, now here I was, sitting and watching my little princess through a glass box. I was told that she had a 10% survival rate and she was born on the verge of viability. I didn’t see her face for the first month of her life, she was born with jaundice so her eyes covered, and the tube from the ventilator was in her mouth. There were so many wires and tubes and all the beeping from the monitors, I felt helpless. I wish there was a magical word that I could say to make the situation better, but I know there was no words to explain the sadness I felt inside. Having a baby in the NICU is challenging. Plain and simple the NICU is a traumatic place, it is filled with uncertainty, obstacles and pain which take a toll on your body and mind. I can remember sitting next to her isolette with my sister, and her doctor, telling me how sick she was, and it is not likely for her to survive and if she did, quality of life she would have. Throughout our NICU journey, some babies didn’t make it and I would pray every day and every night that God would bless her and take away her pain. While it’s comforting to sleep near your baby, hospital sleep is far from restful. I know this because Tye spent 225 days in the hospital. Because she spent so much time in the NICU and hospital as we waited for his lungs to grow, she adapted to a sleep schedule that followed her scheduled medicine and vital checks. As the days go by she overcame,

heart surgery patent ductus arteriosus (PDA) , temperature control problems, Sepsis (bacterial infection) and an IV burn that left a scar on her lower leg. Her biggest obstacle, Tyesha also suffered a grade 3 and 4 brain bleed just after birth, because she wasn’t born breathing and had to be resuscitated and then place on a ventilator. As a result she developed Periventricular Leukomalacia (PVL) and Hydrocephalus. At first she was too small for a shunt so they put a reservoir in and would tap it every morning. When she was almost 4 months old she had a shunt placed. The shunt made a huge difference. A brain bleed in layman’s terms is “Intraventricular hemorrhage,” bleeding into the brain’s ventricular system. It’s very common in premature babies. Most brain bleeds occur in the first 72 hours after birth, and the use of oxygen (critical for extremely premature babies’ survival) increases the risk. Brain bleeds come in four levels. Grades 1 and 2 are the most common, and often result in no major complications. Grades 3 and 4 are the most serious and can result in longterm brain injury (blood clots forming, blocking the flow of cerebrospinal fluid and increasing fluid in the brain) or death. I can go on and on about what she has gone through, but the most important thing is, she is here today despite t her prognosis. She is a fighter; she always has a smile on her face. Anywhere she goes she makes friends, she loves life, she is our princess. www.tciparents.com

pregnancy & baby

By Roxanne Kipps-Jackson Rn BSN Ma, Midwife

Breastfeeding is

normal

Breastfeeding gives every mother and newborn the ability to get off to the best possible start in terms of health benefits and reducing these chronic diseases.

reast-fed children are more resistant to disease and infection in early life than formula fed children. The cells, hormones, and antibodies in breast milk protect babies from illness. This protection is unique; formula cannot match the chemical makeup of human breast milk. In fact, among formula-fed babies, ear infections and diarrhea are more common. The colostrum produced in the very early days of breastfeeding is often referred to as “liquid gold”. This milk is very rich in nutrients and antibodies to protect your baby. Although your baby only gets a small amount of colostrum at each feeding, it matches the amount his or her tiny stomach can hold. Breastfeeding decreases the chances of “overfeeding your baby”. When a baby is full and content they pull off the breast. Babies who are bottle fed are often given the amount of ounces at each feed the parents feel is necessary, then they are encouraged to drink every ounce, it is too expensive to waste formula. Bottle feeding tends to encourage overeating which can lead to obesity. Premature infants who breastfeed have the benefit of decreasing the risk of developing Necrotizing enterocolitis (NEC) disease that affects the gastrointestinal tract in preterm infants. Some research shows that breastfeeding can also reduce the risk of Type 1 diabetes, childhood leukemia, and atopic dermatitis (a type of skin rash) in babies. Breastfeeding has also been shown to lower the risk of SIDS (sudden infant death syndrome). Breast fed children are less likely to contract diseases such as juvenile sclerosis, heart disease and cancer before the age of 15. Life can be easier when you breastfeed. Breastfeeding may take a little more effort than formula feeding at first. But it can make life easier once you and your baby settle into a good routine. Plus, when you breastfeed, there are no bottles and nipples to sterilize. You do not have to buy, measure, and mix formula. And there are no bottles to warm in the middle of the night! You can satisfy your baby’s hunger right away when breastfeeding. 20

Breastfeeding can save money. Formula and feeding supplies can cost well over $1,500 each year, depending on how much your baby eats. Breastfed babies are sick less often, which can lower health care costs. These are only a few highlighted benefits of breastfeeding. The impact of breastfeeding will last a lifetime. The long term benefits to mom, baby, community and country will be a reduction on times and monies in treating and curing our chronic diseases of cardiovascular, diabetes, asthma, hypertension and obesity. The direct benefits to the mom by breastfeeding reduces her risk of 1. Type Two Diabetes 2. Breast cancer 3. Ovarian cancer 4. Postpartum depression Accept that breastfeeding is natural so enjoy the bond it creates between mom and baby. Revel in the thought that you are doing your part in making the best decision for your infant’s start to life.

little ones WINICK ELIJAH CALEB www.tciparents.com 21

little ones

BY Yolande Robinson, B.Ed, M.Ed.

Teaching our children

to navigate this age of instant gratification

e live in an age of instant gratification. Our children, whether 2 or 12, are exposed to videogames, the internet and toys that do what they say with the swipe of a finger or the press of a button. With Netflix and other video streaming programs, our children do not have to wait a week for the next episode or even have to wait through a commercial. As an adult, I too love this! When it comes to learning, we are also in an age of instant gratification. When a child can’t remember a historical fact, or a capital of an island, all they need to do is to ask Google! Although we now have many tools in our society that make life easier, or even more 22

enjoyable, it is essential that we pay attention in order to ensure that these tools don’t take away the learning of or the important skills taught by delaying instant gratification. Delayed gratification means waiting for what you want. This can be a tough lesson for our children. Whether it is the toy at the grocery store, the chocolate bar in the pantry, or the stuffed animal on the shelf at the toy store, having to wait to receive a desire is an important skill to develop. Delayed gratification contributes to teaching children patience, striving to achieve a goal, and learning how to control their emotions. I am sure we have all been at the grocery store with our

children when they point out the snack or the toy that they just ‘must’ have. How do we navigate this to avoid having to buy something on each trip to the grocery store? The first step is to be proactive. Have a chat with your kids about needs and wants at home. Explain that there is nothing wrong with ‘wants’, but outline ways in which they can get their ‘wants.’ Perhaps it is by choosing items for a Christmas list, a birthday list, or for the money in their piggy banks. We live in a consumer world that gives the appearance that everything we want is right at our finger tips and it’s important that we help our children navigate this ‘Now! Now! Now! Culture.’

When we value and believe in instant gratification we risk proving to our children that their success should also be instant. If they do not achieve success instantly, and have to be patient and work hard at a desire or to achieve a want, they can then begin to think that they are not good at it. We risk teaching that if they are not good at something, or if it isn’t moving fast enough for them, that they should move on. What we want to ensure is that we are helping them understand that often earning occurs as a result of hard work. Not getting what a child wants or failures can be tough on a

child. It is helpful to encourage your children to see failures as road signs to where they need to go. Adversity and scarcity, although they may not feel too great, breed character, creativity and resourcefulness. The ability to persevere through disappointment helps them to develop ‘grit.’ Children who are more ‘gritty’ have an easier time navigating the long game vs. the short game in the future. They have a stronger ability to persevere and they tend to be able to go deeper for their intrinsic motivation to help them through the challenges that they face.

We all want the best for our children. We want to expose them to as much as we can and want them to be as happy as they can be. Raising a child in the 21st century has many perks. Our children get exposed to so much and so early in life. As parents, it’s up to us to decide on times of instant gratification and on times of delayed gratification. By being intentional about these decisions and putting thought into judgement calls to help our children navigate their needs and their wants, we help them to develop the tools to become more satisfied adults that can live and thrive in our ever changing society.

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little ones

By Katherine Burchill

Creating a schedule for your child As parents it’s our job to develop a sense of stability for our children in their homes and in their lives. Creating a routine for your child will help them feel that they can depend on you, they know what to expect, and nothing feels too out of place - which can be scary, especially for younger children.

emember that kids’ minds are developing each day, they don’t have full control of their emotions yet, and things like a sudden change in the norm can really throw them for a loop which can lead to restless nights, whining and worst of all tantrums!

Tips for Starting a Schedule: Start with a Bedtime Routine. Make yourself a list of the things that need to get done before they sleep: Eating Dinner, Having a Bath, Brushing Teeth, Getting in Pajamas, Reading a Story, Singing a Lullaby, etc. and then decide what order you’d like to do them in and stick to it. With younger children a picture chart can be really helpful with this so they have a visual aid to show them what’s coming next. It doesn’t have to be strict, but it does have to be consistent. The timing isn’t important to begin with - maybe you had a long play date and dinner isn’t on the table until later than usual, it’s okay. As long as the steps are the same, your child will recognize the routine, know what to expect next and follow along as usual. They don’t know what time it is! Rushing or skipping steps (especially if they are tired) may cause them to become confused and agitated. You don’t need to pack your child’s day full of activities, playdates or after school clubs. Quiet time, and solitary play are just as important to child’s development as social interaction and structured activity. If they are no longer having naps, think about introducing a ‘Quiet Hour’ where they can do a puzzle, read a book or simply lie in a quiet room for a bit. Allow your child some time to process 24

everything that’s going on around them. Constant stimulation can be exhausting and a tired little mind is less likely to be able to deal with emotions that may crop up around bed time. Bedtime is bedtime! All children are different but generally speaking kids under the age of 5 should be in bed no later than 8pm, and this is something you should be strict about if you can. Now saying that, bed time doesn’t mean sleep time. If your child is in bed then yes sing that extra lullaby, read one more story - but let them know that bedtime is not a negotiable thing. By setting this rule now you are helping their bodies learn a rhythm, and their minds to learn that you as the parent are in control. Children like to think they run the show, but in reality they thrive on knowing you are there to keep them in line, so they can depend on you. Not everyone is very organized, there are plenty of adults who ‘go with the flow’, and there’s nothing wrong with that. Know that just because you are not a very structured person, doesn’t mean you can’t have a sense of routine in your child’s life. If your kid prefers to have his bath in the morning, likes to wear his pajamas to eat his dinner or demands to walk around the garden before he can go to bed - that’s fine! As long as those things are part of your routine, there’s no reason your schedule is better or worse than anyone else’s. The important thing about setting a schedule is that your child knows they can trust you and the situation around them. They have so little control over their own lives so it’s vital for them to know that someone is in charge and making sure everyone is safe and happy. You’re that someone!

Why children need chiropractic By Dr. Lise Cloutier

More and more parents are seeking chiropractic care for their children. Many spinal problems seen in adults began as early as birth. Even so called “natural” birthing methods can stress an infant’s spine and developing nerve system.

he resulting irritation to the nerve system caused by spinal and cranial misalignment can be the cause of many newborn health complaints. Colic, breathing problems, nursing difficulties, sleep disturbances, learning disorders such as, ADD, ADHD, dyslexias can often be traced to nerve system stress. Why Should Children Have Chiropractic Care? As the child begins to sit, crawl, walk and participate in regular childhood activities like skating or riding a bike, small yet significant spinal misalignments (subluxations) may occur. If neglected, the injuries during this period of rapid growth may lead to more serious problems later in life. Subtle trauma throughout childhood will affect the future development of the spine leading to impaired nervous system function. Any interference to the vital nerve system will adversely affect the body’s ability to function at its best. One of the most common reasons parents seek care for their child is trauma from an injury of some sort. These misalignments may or may not result in immediate pain or symptoms. Regular chiropractic checkups can identify potential spinal injury from these traumas, make the correction early in life and help avoid many of the health complaints seen later in adults. Proper spinal hygiene is an important key to better health. Why should children have chiropractic care? It is important to understand that the Doctor of Chiropractic does not treat conditions or diseases. The expertise of the chiropractor is in checking the child’s spine for misalignments that impair nervous system function therefore affecting overall body function. The nerve system controls and coordinates the function of all the systems in the body: circulatory,

respiratory, digestive, hormonal, eliminative and immune system. Any aspect of health may be impaired by nerve interference. The chiropractic adjustment restores nerve system function allowing the body the ability to express a greater state of health and well-being. Chiropractic adjusting procedures are modified to fit a child’s size, weight, and

unique spinal condition. They are both gentle and specific to the child’s developing spinal structures. Most parents report that their children enjoy their chiropractic adjustments and look forward to subsequent visits. They also report that their children experience a greater level of health while under regular chiropractic care.

Please call for our special offer of $75.00 for kids in the month of May/June at (649-339-1000). Dr. Lise is a certified pediatric Chiropractic specialist.

www.tciparents.com

little ones

By Yolande Robinson, B.Ed, M.Ed.

Dealing with childhood fears

and anxieties

o do any of you have children that are afraid of the dark? Or monsters? Or dogs? Fears and anxieties are natural in childhood. As a parent, it is helpful to have a few tips on how to help your child deal with their fears and anxieties. Everyone, whether a baby, child or adult, at one point or another feels fear. Feeling anxious can be especially uncomfortable because this comes with the feelings that one needs to escape immediately, and fast! Your heart might beat quickly, your body might perspire, and you may even get butterflies in your stomach. Anxiety is no fun. Not for adults or for children. Anxiety is defined as ‘apprehension without apparent cause.’ That means that often when we feel anxiety, there is no immediate threat to our feeling of safety or well-being, but the fear seems real. This is important to keep in mind if your child runs into your room due to the monsters in their closet. You explain that there is no monster in the closet. They may be trying to believe you, but their anxiety may make them feel otherwise. Before we get into some ways to deal with fear and anxiety, it’s important to highlight that these are not always bad emotions. Fear and anxiety can be helpful in making a child behave in a safe manner. For example, if a child is afraid of fire, they are less likely to play with matches. Every child, whether it’s separation anxiety on the first few days of school, or fear of a natural disaster, feels these emotions at some point or another. In fact, dealing with these fears and anxiety can prepare them for when they become a teenager or young adult and have to handle the unsettling experiences and challenges of real life situations they will certainly feel at different points in their lives.

How do you know if your child is experiencing these emotions? They may appear to be clingy, impulsive and distracted. It’s not uncommon for parents to

notice nervous actions and problems with sleep. Physiological responses include accelerated heart rates and breathing, as well as sweaty palms, nausea, headaches and stomachaches.

How can you help your child deal with fears and anxieties? The first point is that it is important to recognize that their fears are real. Ignoring them doesn’t make them go away. Start by talking to your child. Talking about a fear makes the fear less powerful. Try your best not to belittle their fears. Comments like, “Don’t be ridiculous!” won’t make the fear go away. You also don’t want to cater to the fear. For example, if your child is afraid of dogs, always crossing the road will not help them deal with this fear. You may hold their hand and provide support as you pass by the dog. Some children benefit from rating their fears. A scale of 1 – 10 can be helpful, or making it visual. Is the fear up to your knees, your stomach or your head? Help them put it into perspective and, this will help them realize when the fear is reducing. Lastly, never underestimate the power of positive selfstatements. “I can do this.” “I am ok.” By helping your child develop this positive self-talk you are training them how to implement this into their lives and transfer it to other situations. As children grow, many of their fears get either erased or replaced. Having a life free of fear and anxiety is not likely to happen, but the important thing is helping them realize that there is nothing wrong with being afraid and that there are ways that you can help them deal with their fears.

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pregnancy little ones

By G. Terrence Ryan is a School Psychologist and Licensed Mental Health Counselor.

Learning Disorders

How to help a child with a Specific Learning Disorder in the Turks & Caicos Islands. If possible, have your child evaluated by a School Psychologist or Psychoeducational Specialist. There are several such specialists in private practice in the TCI. The 1 World Foundation Clinical Evaluation Team also offers evaluations that include child-specific interventions. Contact Ms. Betty-Ann Been (BA_Been@gov.tc), Director of Special Needs or your child’s Pediatirician for the dates of the Team’s next visit. There is no cost to the family for the evaluations; the work of the Clinical Evaluation Team is sponsored by 1 World Foundation in collaboration with the Special Needs Unit. There are plethora of instructional approaches and technology to help the child with a SLD. For example, if the child understands spoken language but struggles to read the written word, an electronic “reading pen” may be considered to promoted efficiency of learning in other academic areas such as math or science.

Series on Neurodevelopmental Disorders Neurodevelopmental disorders encompass a variety

of childhood conditions. Some of the disorders such as Autism Spectrum Disorders (ASD) have received attention because of the increased incidence; today 1 in 68 children have a diagnosis of ASD. There are a number of other disorders that are important to recognize in order to provide effective interventions and to further reduce the stigma associated with the conditions. The first article in this series focuses on Specific Learning Disorders. In future editions, other disorders such as Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder, Intellectual Disability, Language Disorders, Motor Disorders, Traumatic Brain Injury, Tic Disorders, and Autism Spectrum Disorders will be highlighted. Other disorders that affect children such as Anxiety Disorders that often accompany the neurodevelopmental disorders will be the focus as well. The goal of this series is to help parents identify challenges that may emerge in their children and to recognize that that there is help, support, and guidance in the TCI.

What is a Specific Learning Disorder (SLD)? In accordance with the Diagnostic and Statistical

Manual, Fifth Edition (DSM5; 2013) SLD is a disorder that is associated with one or more events that can affect the development of the child’s nervous system (i.e. neurodevelopment), causing learning problems in the areas of reading, writing, and/or mathematics. The events associated with a SLD may be inherited (i.e. genetic), influenced by a variety of factors that turn-on or turn-off inherited features (i.e. epigenetics), and/or environmental factors (e.g. inadequate health 28

care, poor nutrition). The essential feature of a SLD is that the person is unable to succeed in school; if the disorder continues into adulthood, he/she is unable to succeed on the job or in everyday life because of the learning disorder. There are three categories of SLD and each category has subtypes the distinctly describe the area of struggle; these are as follows: • Reading Impairment: The child has substantial difficulty with accurately reading the word, and/or has a slow reading rate, and/or has difficulty with comprehending the reading material. • Written Expression: The child has substantial difficulty with spelling, and/or grammar as well as punctuation, and/or cannot write in a clear and organized manner. • Mathematics: The child has substantial difficulty with understanding numbers, and/or memorization of arithmetic facts, and/or efficiently completing calculations and doing so accurately. A child can have one or more of the above learning challenges despite interventions aimed at reducing the problem. The child’s skills are below average in comparison to expected levels based on age, as measured by achievement testing or other standard academic measure. A common misconception is that the child’s difficulty in school is the result of not being “smart” enough. Typically, the nature of SLD is silent in that it cannot be directly observed based on the child’s everyday behavior. Consequently, a SLD is often not recognized, or it is misunderstood.

What is NOT a SLD A SLD is not the direct result of problems with hearing or vision; even when problems in these

areas are corrected the child still struggles because the brain has difficulty processing the information. A SLD is not the result of low intelligence, however, it is often confused with a child who may have an intellectual disability (aka mental retardation). Children with SLD are often thought of as being “slow,” when in fact they may have above average or superior ability in other areas. For example, a child who is unable to read may be gifted in the area of graphic design, which uses another part of the brain. Finally, a SLD is not the direct result of a neurological condition such as a pediatric stroke; such conditions can affect learning, but it falls into a different diagnostic category and is not considered a SLD (see next Edition – do you want us to do this next, that is, “Other Specified Neurodevelopmental Disorders” that affect learning?).

Symptoms of a SLD

The appearance of a SLD changes shape as the child matures. The preschool child with a Specific Reading Impairment may have trouble rhyming, frequently uses baby talk, fails to recognize letters in their own name, or has trouble learning to count. When the child reaches middle years, the problem may be in connecting sounds and letters or reading very slowly with errors. In high school, the child may avoid reading long words because of problems with sequencing all the sounds of the word. Sometimes the child starts off the word correctly and then guesses the rest of the word. The equivalent problem occurs in spelling and writing. In mathematics, a reading disorder can affect understanding word problems even though a child can do the calculation. The sequential steps of math are sometimes difficult to learn, even if the child has eventually learned math facts. A secondary problem to these learning challenges may be anxiety when faced with school work or homework, refusal to do work, misbehaving to detract or distract from the child’s failure to learn, and emotional difficulties that can range from low selfesteem to depression.

Steps to the diagnosis of a SLD Recognizing that a child is struggling with learning

rather than dismissing the problem as the “child is slow” and cannot learn is the first step toward diagnosis. The next step is discussing your concerns and observations with the teacher about how your child learns. Teachers are trained to instruct children to learn in a variety of ways and can share these approaches with the parents for additional support at home. Formal diagnosis of a SLD requires the expertise of a School Psychologist who may also consult with a variety of specialists including Speech/

Language Pathologist, Occupational Therapist, Reading Specialist, and Special Education Consultant. If you and the teacher have identified a SLD formally or informally, you can also start with one of the many online resources to help a child with a SLD. Below are a few reputable sites with direct site-based descriptions: http://www.abcmouse.com http://studyjams.scholastic.com/studyjams/jams/ science/index.htm http://www.abcya.com/ http://www.interventioncentral.org/response-tointervention

About 1 World Foundation In 1993 the philanthropist Joseph Rich from

Watertown, New York formally organized an international effort to support children of the Turks and Caicos Islands with a focus on helping children with Special Needs. He did this initially on a child-by-child basis by securing wheelchairs and personally paying for medical procedures and associated expenses. In collaboration with the Special Needs Unit in the Ministry of Health the Foundation’s role expanded, offering educational training sessions to help people understand children with special challenges and at the same time promoting awareness, acceptance, and destigmatization. In 2011 Mr. Rich and the 1 World Foundation Board formally introduced the diagnostic Clinical Evaluation Team comprised of the following specialists: Speech/ Language Pathologist, Occupational Therapist, School Psychologist, and Neuropsychologist. With the approval of the Ministry’s Health Practitioner’s Board and the support of InterHealthCanada for use of clinic facilities, the Clinical Evaluation Team travels to the islands of TCI two to three times per year to work directly with families and children with Special Needs and to offer trainings and consultation to local clinicians and schools. www.tciparents.com

little ones

By Celia Musson-Nzabalinda, DDS

Dental decay is Contagious!

mother brings her new baby home and, filled with love for her bundle of joy, she plans to do the very best for her child. Her natural inclination is to keep this child happy, comfortable and healthy. The daily routine of feeding, cleaning and interacting binds child and parents together, and the child’s development and happiness reflect all the loving attention he or she has received. The child’s rapid rate of growth requires frequent feeding, and the parents quickly fall into a comfortable rhythm with their baby. When the child’s teeth eventually start to come in, however, parents will need to take some steps to protect those teeth from decay even at a very young age. As new foods are added to the baby’s diet, the oral environment changes, and levels of bacteria in the child’s mouth increase. In addition, bacteria are transferred from the parent or caregiver’s mouth to the child’s mouth during the course of normal everyday activities, and many parents are totally unaware that their own oral health is critical to their baby’s oral health. Regardless of the source, however, oral bacteria quickly develops into a plaque biofilm and, if not removed daily, can cause decay. How does this kind of decay actually occur?

The oral environment normally has an alkaline pH (i.e., the opposite of acidic). During feedings, bacteria living in the mouth use the natural or refined sugars in our diet as their source of nutrition, in turn excreting waste that is acidic and causing the mouth to become more acidic after meals. This brief acid attack then begins to dissolve the thin layer of enamel on the teeth the enamel that is so essential to a tooth’s overall well-being. Eventually, the mouth should return to an alkaline pH, and the enamel should be restored. However, if the individual feeds again within a short time period, the mouth never gets the chance to return to the normal alkaline pH. Snacking and sipping on beverages throughout the day, for example, cause oral acidity to increase, and eventually the daily acid baths can damage the enamel beyond repair. Once the enamel has been penetrated – even to a small extent the decay can reach the softer dentin beneath the surface, spreading out and forming a large cavity. To make matters worse for very young children, the enamel of baby teeth is just half as thick as the enamel on permanent teeth, so decay can penetrate baby teeth more quickly. Ultimately, this type of decay can cause loss of primary teeth or require large restorations in order to preserve them a procedure that may necessitate treatment under general anesthetic. Also, molars may require stainless steel crowns, since large white fillings are more likely to fail in the baby teeth. So how can parents prevent this condition, known as early childhood caries (ECC)?

Exclusive breastfeeding

Breast milk contains all the nutrition needed for young babies, and it is recommended that mothers breastfeed exclusively for at least six months. No other food or beverages are necessary during this time. Most physicians recommend the introduction of other foods at about six months, with continued breastfeeding up to one year. Breast milk by itself is not likely to cause decay. However, once other foods have been introduced, breastfeeding during the nighttime (when the baby is likely to fall asleep with milk

still in his or her mouth) may result in decay. As a result, international dental authorities advise that babies who feed on both breastmilk and food should not have more than seven feedings per day and that, once food is introduced, nighttime breastfeeding should be discontinued.

Limit the bottle and sippy cup

Many children sip from a bottle or sippy cup during the day. While the total amount of beverage they consume may be relatively small, the number of sugar exposures from repeated sipping can be high, causing the acidification process described above to be repeated

over and over. A bottle or sippy cup of water (with nothing else added) is the only desirable beverage for frequent exposure. Additionally, children should not be put to bed with a bottle of juice or milk, because they likely will not swallow all of the beverage, causing the teeth to be exposed to acid all night long. Juice, incidentally, is not recommended in the diet until a child can use a regular cup without assistance.

Oral health care

Be sure to brush your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s teeth daily, after breakfast and before bed, to remove the plaque

biofilm. His or her first dental visit should be within six months of the eruption of the first tooth, or by one year old, whichever comes first.

Decay is contagious

Taking care of your own oral health will also help protect your child. Reducing the amount of bacteria in your mouth reduces your chances of transmitting harmful bacteria to your baby, and this in turn improves your childâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s chances for a decay-free mouth. L imit your own snacks and beverage exposures to maintain a healthy alkaline oral environment. Also, drink plenty of water and limit all kinds of carbonated beverages, as even diet sodas are acidic and present a danger to oral health.

www.tciparents.com

pregnancy little ones

By Cheryl Ann Jones

Parenting a

second time around Parenting a grandchild means a new way of doing things. For us a busy people we thought about re organizing our lives, we decided not to. This should not sound harsh as it is; frankly we had to arrange his life around ours. So we have not drop events from our lives, we still walk and exercise, but we have a special push for him. When we work out, we give him his time on the machine. We take turns on the machine and he gets a few seconds on each. That calms him down and encourages him to wait patiently. We have a 90% success rate on that one.

am late for work this morning. The cause is a missing shoe. That is a common occurrence in my life these days. Missing shoes, missing items of clothing, missing pots and pans! I looked everywhere that is usual- these days; in garbage bins, in groceries bags in the pantry, in bath tubs and in toilet bowls. The little man who I suspect, did the deed is a master and finding new and unique places to make things disappear. I in-turn developed my sense of creativity as I discover these places more and more quickly. Yes, I looked in the fridge for my missing dress! I have many friends who extol the joys of grandparenthood- they were waiting anxiously for someone to spoil, another offspring they didn’t have to give birth to but who they can act as GRAND parent to. In making the decision to be the main caregiver for a year to this young chap I considered in a mystical sort of way why the word is Grand parenting. Grand – bigger than normal. That is how I feel! Our home will seem unfriendly to children. That is because the last time a young child lived there was over seventeen years ago. It is not child focus, in considering advice to move valuables, put things higher, 32

I went with, - and let me use all the objects in the house to teach a lesson. May I say that in this way I feel myself close to these young millennium parents, these over achievers who want to create over achieving children, who do not want to relax with parenting? So, I did not move much. Of course there are goods that are ‘keep out of the reach of children’ however, children still do learn with their mouths. So bleach, medication and other items are moved pass the ability of a young child to climb a few feet and experiment with interesting looking labels. The boy is asked to please put back things, or he is cautioned that, ‘this is not for touching or not for children’. So far we are 80% successful. There are items that look attractive to touch frankly. One negative though is that he has learnt the negative, waving no with a figure gesture. I cannot seem to change. While children still have the same nutrition needs as before, the variety of pretty labeled foods and feeding utensils are huge and can be confusing. I went with the true and tried brands of foods. It is still difficult for children to eat vegetables. As usual the best way to have children adapt certain behaviours

is to have them practice what you do. So we eat lots of veggies, lots of fruits, reduced processed food as much as possible. And that is what the child loves eating. Frankly this saves time, which is precious and limited. It is also more possible now to build my support network (paid or unpaid) to supervise him when we want to go out. Children need stimulation. I understand that all young children over one year old must have their own device. This allows them to watch you tube videos, I resisted this for about a week. I found that there are wonderful videos for children on YouTube. I also found that when a device is in the hand of a young child, they can keep still and quiet for an extraordinary amount of time. On afternoons and mornings, in the car, or before he falls asleep, he is allowed to hold and press, start and re start a child friendly device with loads of videos downloaded from YouTube. I got to understand that Barney is no longer an in thing for young children. My own children grew up watching Barney. He taught good lessons and ended with, I love you. They say Barney is not realistic, too nice. I found that young children have enough time

to learn realistic. So, I expose him to Barney, he teaches how to count and say ABCs, that cannot change. Along the way, so what if he learns that ‘we are a part of one family’ I was warned that real parenting is not for people my age. They need people with energy to run behind them. I think they need order, love, attention and discipline. Providers of those things come not so much with age but with experience. We have that. Luckily we are healthy people who are alert and can run behind an 18 month old. Grandparents and parents, need to make exercise a part of

their daily lives, the message for children will have more meaning. In the home, if we are too tired, he is now used to being relegated to what we called a play pen. No doubt a much fancier word labels this contraction today. This was not an easy task; the pen itself must come to be an interesting place where interesting toys are! Not a place of punishment. The question for us though was deciding what we were to be. We are not the parents; they will take up their role within the next few months. We must though instill discipline, please and thank you are important. We are not going to

spoil him, we cannot afford to, and he has some time with us still. It is still a more relaxing approach. We understand that children will learn at their own pace. Our job is to stimulate this young child. I am not going to push him to read a book before age two. He will read. He will mark the paper we give him with indistinguishable marks, he will learn to write! I will not get panicked if the other child his age knows the entire alphabet. He will get it, for now he knows the tune and starts with ABCD, E, F, me, me, me, me and ends with twinkle, twinkle little start. Not a problem!

“What you can’t see”

hat you can’t see is the passion in me and his voice that was longing to be heard. No more silence, only words that bring about power and change. Though his challenges remain, his strength to fight through is amazing. So brave, intelligent, loving, funny and gifted he is. Though the world sees his label, I see that he is able. I am fighting and praying for him every day. What you can’t see is the strength in me and the fight he has inside. Sometimes his battle is gruesome, it lasts for weeks, sometimes months. Sometimes when I think it’s over, its starts again, his little heart grows stronger as he presses on every day. I hold his hand sometimes, I let him walk sometimes; I often watch him from a close distance. He has to learn, he has to grow, and he has to be his own person because he won’t always be a child; he must learn to fight on his own. What you can’t see is the hope in me and the freedom he has to thrive. He calls my name and negotiates with me; he engages me and pretends with me like a child who

By Maxcia L. Rigby

doesn’t know his weaknesses. His personality pours out as he plays with his brother and teases his sister. He pats his daddy on the head and corrects my grammar, oh that boy was made for something great and to bring out the greatness in me! What you can’t see are the memories in me and the thoughts that drives his mind. He looks in the empty oven and asks for dinner and knocks on the door when no one is home. He memorizes his class schedule and records videos of his favorite shows. He comforts his brother, obeys his sister, trusts his mother and respects his father. He can read, spell, make me laugh and write a story. He will yell “No me gusta” if he doesn’t like something. One time he claimed to have died from eating veggies. He expresses feelings of happiness and sadness, frustration and sometimes being embarrassed without a change of expression and hardly ever cries. I know I don’t understand why! What you can’t see is the passion in me and the potential in him to grow To exceed every expectation, to put up a good fight and be all that God has called him to be and win at this life. To make a choice to accept that God will make all things right, in His time, by His will, it will be alright. www.tciparents.com

little ones

By Dr. Renee Simons

Managing the strong willed child,

while staying calm

rom tantrums to toilet training, bed time to bullies, parenting can be hard, especially when you have a strong willed child. With the huge selection of parenting books and endless advice from friends and family members, finding effective ways to manage your child’s challenging behavior can be confusing. This article offers suggestions on how to manage your strong willed child’s challenging behaviors while keeping your calm. So what is a strong willed child? A strong willed child could be seen as “difficult” or “stubborn” at first glance, but if you look closer you can see that these kids are people of integrity who are not easily swayed from their own viewpoints. They want to learn for themselves, and don’t passively accept what others tell them. They test the limits, want to be the “boss” of themselves and love to be right. These kids are passionate and live at full throttle. Often, strong willed kids challenge their parents to a power struggle. Parents, always 34

remember that you do not have to accept the challenge! Engaging in a power struggle leaves parents open to get caught in a trap, known as the Talk-PersuadeArgue-Yell-Hit Syndrome. Although you may have the best intentions, when your child is doing something that you do not like you start by telling him to stop. If he continues to misbehave, you try persuading him to see things your way. When this is unsuccessful, you start arguing. When arguing fails, you yell. If yelling fails, you might feel as though there is nothing left to do, so you may turn to hitting. The two biggest parenting mistakes – too much talking and too much emotion – trigger the Talk-Persuade-ArgueYell-Hit Syndrome. Getting caught up in a yelling match and experiencing feelings of anger are destructive for many reasons. 1 – The focus of the interaction is no longer the child’s misbehaviour, rather it becomes the parent’s own outburst. 2 – Many kids see a parent’s

emotional outburst as a challenge to a fight, e.g. “you yell at me, so it’s okay for me to yell at you.” 3 – Parents who over explain send their children the message that “You really don’t have to behave unless I can give you a good reason as to why you should.” Change your expectations in order to change your child’s behavior. Choose a method and repeat it consistently until your child learns the ropes. Most importantly, remain calm, patient and gentle, while also being persistent and firm. Children thrive off of consistency and repetition in a warm and loving environment. Here are some tips to help you manage your strong willed child: • Avoid power struggles by using routines and rules, for example: “The rule is we use the potty after every meal and snack,” or “The schedule is that lights-out is at 8pm. If you hurry, we’ll have time for two books,” • Remember that strong-willed

kids learn through experience. That means they have to see for themselves if the lemon is sour. So unless you’re worried about serious injury, it’s more effective to let them learn through experience. Expect your strong-willed child to test your limits that’s how he learns. Once you know that, it’s easier to stay calm, which avoids wear and tear on your relationship--and your nerves. • Your strong-willed child wants mastery more than anything. Let her take charge of as many of her own activities as possible. Don’t nag at her to brush her teeth; instead, ask “What else do you need to do before we leave?” If she looks blank, tick off the short list: “Every morning we eat, brush teeth, use the toilet, and pack the backpack. I saw you pack your backpack, that’s terrific! Now, what do you still need to do before we leave?” Kids who feel more independent and in charge of themselves will have less need to be oppositional. Not to mention, they learn responsibility early. • Give your strong-willed child choices. If you give orders, he will almost certainly push back. If

you offer a choice, he feels like the master of his own destiny. Of course, only offer choices you can live with and don’t let yourself get resentful by handing away your power. If going to the store is non-negotiable and he wants to keep playing, an appropriate choice is: “Do you want to leave now or in five minutes? Okay, five minutes with no fuss? Let’s shake on it. When it comes to parenting, always trust your instincts. If you have concerns about the following, consider seeing a mental health professional: • Trouble paying attention or sitting still • Problems with language development, social interaction, and restricted interests • Negative, hostile and defiant behavior • Excessive worrying or unusual anxiety about separation • Loss of interest in fun activities and irritability • Excessive verbal and physical aggression • Disregard for age appropriate norms and rules • Unexpected learning difficulties

Local Performing Art Students & International stars wow audience in Provo! ABOUT THE SHOW – “LONDON CALLING” London is a bustling, busy city that can feel chaotic, but there are always friendly faces if you look close enough! A musical journey through London with an explanation in Cockney Rhyming Slang! Provo Performing Arts School Students, who were supported by The Turks & Caicos Friends of the Arts Foundation arranged for Anna Jane & Anne-Marie to provide a (free) Performing Arts Camp during the Easter Holidays. Anna Jane wrote an original musical script especially for the camp, which students performed at Brayton Hall. Not only that Anna Jane & AnneMarie performed live in the musical. Anna Jane’s recent stage reviews in the UK:-

“Theatrical Dynamite.” The Guardian “Glorious.” The Telegraph “Spectacular.” The Times ABOUT PROVO PERFORMING ARTS SCHOOL A collection of classes for boys & girls of all ages, brought to you by Provo Primary School Inspired, dedicated classes - building confident and creative individuals. Classes in dance, acting and musical theatre. 3 year olds to 99 year olds! For more information contact: Niki Flowers Web: www.ProvoPerformingArts.com Telephone: 649-343-4716 Email: nikiflowers@gmail.com

www.tciparents.com

tweens teens Teens &&Tweens PHOTO BY ATTIMI PHOTOGRAPHY www.tciparents.com 37

TCI Parents featured

Maria Dominga Rebolledo

Mia Gray

Skye Zwalden

Louis Fielding

Teens & Tweens

Naryan and Vijay Kalliecharan

Roshawn Cox

Kaelan Bain

Kaitlyn Mala

Gabrielle Rigby

Jelo Vallar

Want to see your photo featured here? Email a photo of your Teen or Tween to tciparentmag@gmail.com

Managing a

scattered tween/teen

By Angela Young BA MSc

or the average person, it may seem that I’m speaking a foreign language, but for those of us who are dealing with a teenager who fits the following description: • Loses handouts • Misses assignments • Unable to find or locate belongings • Frequently asks for rides back to campus because they forgot their text book …then, we are in the “know”. So, let me share my story: Our first year in middle school was full of challenges all of which centered on disorganization or as commonly referred to by psychologists as poor executive skills. From the missed assignments and frequent detentions to the weekly evening drives back to school to find some exercise book, I thought I was going to lose my mind while my patience levels were running on fumes! But, I kept telling myself: “Hey, transitioning from elementary school to middle school is not easy. After all, these middle school students were tossed into a new system: the “day” cycle as well as a rigorous academic format.”

While other students seemed to find their rhythm with ease, my

sweetie was drowning—and I saw it. And, it is because I saw firsthand what goes on with a tween who has poor executive skills that I knew I had to develop a plan of action for the new academic year! Let me jump in now and explain that Executive Functioning is simply our ability to plan, prioritize (time management) and organize ourselves into action in order to achieve our desired goals. Research shows that as we develop from birth, our brain cells develop these skills as we grow up. However, sometimes these skills are not developed and then, some of our young people simply need to be taught these skill sets. As the psychologists and authors of Smart but Scattered Teens so eloquently explained: “Teenagers who practice executive skills are not only learning self-management and independence, but in the process are also developing brain structures that will support their executive skills into later adolescence and adulthood.”

In other words, the same skills our kids use to complete a class project at age 15 will be the same skill sets they will rely on or use when applying for a home equity loan at 35! With this knowledge, I quickly armed myself with research and studied the topic extensively over the summer as I am neither an educator nor a neuropsychologist. Instead, I am a mom who loves her daughter more than life itself and will go to great lengths to equip her with whatever she needs to survive in this world. Students with weak executive skills need structure, patience and love. Moms and Dads, these three components play a critical role in your child’s development as they matriculate through academia. Often times, I tell parents that there are no quick fixes and instead, they must engage their son and daughter and listen. I can honestly say it has helped me tremendously. As parents, we are our children’s first teachers and thus, we must advocate on their behalf to inspire them to aspire for greatness!

www.tciparents.com

tweens & teens

BY Kerrie McLoughlin

Teen dating... How young is considered too young?

any parents take the issue of teen dating on a case-by-case basis because every kid is different. Some children are fairly mature at age 16, while others may not be ready for a first date until age 19. We don’t have a set age for dating. I think a numerical age is way too hard to pinpoint because of different maturity levels. I do, however, see being a responsible driver as somewhat related to being able to handle dating. Some parents see dating as a means to finding a spouse, so why start so early? Instead, group dating might be encouraged. Mall dates are a great place to start when kids are in junior high. Kids can meet up to walk around, 40

window shop, hit the food court, and maybe see a movie. Some parents will stay and sit at the back of the theatre with an eagle eye, while others will opt for the drop-off thing. House dates are a next step for teens (or parents!) who may not be quite ready for one-onone socializing yet. Tonya, mom of one, said, “My daughter is 17 and, for the last year or so, I have allowed her to have a boy come over to watch a movie or play board games as long as I am home. Her bedroom is off limits!” Sean Covey’s book, The Six Most Important Decisions You Will Ever Make: A Guide for Teens, talks about adolescents’ readiness to date, and knowing the difference between “intelligent” and

“brainless” dating. Intelligent dating is not making decisions based on hormones, popularity, money, and what the crowd is doing. Brainless dating is the opposite. When you feel your teen is ready for one-on-one dating, keep these pointers in mind: Try to model healthy romantic relationships at home. Talk to your teen about dating and how it’s not always as the media portrays it. In fact, some of the very best dates are free. Be realistic about how a date might play out. Talk to your child about what a good relationship is, such as how the other person should never push, hit, degrade, or pressure your teen into doing things that he/she knows shouldn’t be doing. In essence, make sure they know

the proper way to respect another individual (and themselves). Have a plan. Teens should decide in advance which qualities they are looking for, how they don’t want a date to go, what they would do if they find themselves in a bad situation, etc. Teen dating is about meeting many different kinds of people to find out what they eventually may like in a life partner; so don’t flip out if your teen brings home a guy who you don’t love… Chances are he will not become your future son-inlaw! Talk to your teen about being himself/herself and not

turning into a chameleon to please a potential date. Let your teen know he or she can always ask you questions. Don’t be afraid to share your own best and worst experiences, as well as mistakes you made while dating. Everybody has bad judgment sometimes, so let your teen know you understand that, and that you are willing to pick her/him up at any time of the night if a bad situation arises. I think the best thing you can do is set the rules and guidelines for your daughter or son and do not let society set them. You have to parent them, not be their friend, and not be their matchmaker. www.tciparents.com

pregnancy tweens & teens

Contributed By Thea Lowe

Non comedogenic This term refers to products formulated to not clog your pores

Perfecting

These contain one or more of either Salicyic acid, Glycolic acid or Vitamin A. They are meant to retexturize the skin for a more even feel. It can resolve superficial imperfections such as large pores, coarse skin texture, fine lines and wrinkles, acne scarring and discoloration, mild to moderate acne and even rosacea

UVA

Ultra violet light with a wave length of 320400 nanometers. A lot of exposure is thought to cause skin cancer. UVA does not produce sunburn.

Understanding basic skin

care terms

If you have ever had any trouble figuring out what certain terms on your skin care products mean, then keep on reading. Below Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;ve listed some of the most common terms along with their meanings.

Invigorating This can mean soothing, calming or refreshing on the skin.

Nourishing

These products provide nutrients to the skin, sustaining cell growth.

Brightening

These products even out the skin tone for a more uniform appearance with better luminosity and clarity. They most often contain an acid or multiple acids such as Glycolic, Gallic acids, Salicylic and/or Vitamin C.

Calming

Reduces redness due to irritation. Some ingredients that assist with calming are oatmeal, aloe vera, chamomile etc.

Enhancing

These products increase the protein within the skin for fuller, firmer skin.

UVB

Ultra violet light with a wave length of 290320 nanometers. UVB exposure results in sunburn.

Every summer has a story...the Florida Prep Summer Ah, the thought of a long, warm summer…. What could be more enticing to young people? As many parents can attest, summer is anything but enticing; it’s actually one of the most stressful times of the year to be a working parent. How do we entertain our children and save them from endless days playing computer games when we are working full time? Who are our children with during the day? Unfortunately, boredom is a great friend of trouble! Factor in the learning loss over summer, which according to a recent study in the “National Summer Learning Association” is estimated to set a student back two months from their presummer grade level in critically needed math, English and reading skills, and it becomes plain that as parents we should be planning for an alternative

Program

summer, something beyond that of a traditional summer camp. The ‘Florida Prep Summer Program’ may be the alternative you are seeking. Scheduled July 10th through to August 4th, 2017, the program engages middle school and high school students in a fun and challenging schedule of academics and activities that together provide a hands-on curriculum, with exceptional teachers, a fantastic support team, and attention to the individual. Students from around the world enjoy a unique, family environment in a structured, caring setting.Middle school students enjoy daily lessons in the key areas of English, math, history and science with weekly field trips designed to focus on the subjects learned throughout the week. High school students may

choose from a selection of math, English and science subjects; each are awarded an official academic credit upon successful completion. It’s an ideal opportunity for a grade do-over, to “preview” material coming up in the new school year, or for motivated students to get ahead. Of course, it’s not all work. Students need to blow off steam like everyone else and Florida Prep has that covered. Weekend trips to exciting Orlando and Space Coast attractions and the use of campus facilities, including tennis, basketball and a large sports field allow for fun with new friends made from around the world. Is it something to consider? Yes, Will your children will be happy? Yes. And so will you! For more information contact Florida Prep admissions admissions@flprep.com, check out our website www.flprep.com/summer or call us (321) 723-3211.

2017 Summer Programs Florida Prep Every summer has a story .... Grades 5-8 (Middle School)

July 10th - August 4th

Program includes Math, Science, English and History each day, along with a fun weekly field trip and a weekend theme park visit.

Grades 9-12 (High School) Earn Academic Credits!

Earn one full credit at the completion of the course in a variety of subjects, including Math and English. Ideal for students wishing to retake a core subject!

For more information about Summer Programs contact admissions@flprep.com or Tel (321) 723-3211 Located in Melbourne, Florida. | www.flprep.com www.tciparents.com

recipes

Lasagna

INGREDIENTS

Sauce: Olive oil 1 pound lean ground beef (chuck) 1/2 onion, diced, about 3/4 cup 1/2 large bell pepper (green, red, or yellow), stem and core removed, diced, about 3/4 cup 2 cloves garlic, minced 1 28-ounce can good quality tomato sauce 3 ounces (half a 6-oz can) tomato paste 1 14-ounce can crushed tomatoes

2 Tbsp chopped fresh oregano or 2 teaspoons dried oregano 1/4 cup chopped fresh parsley (preferably flat leaf), packed 1 Tbsp Italian Seasoning Pinch of garlic powder and/or garlic salt 1 Tbsp red or white wine vinegar 1 Tbsp to 1/4 cup sugar (to taste, optional) Salt Lasagna: 1/2 lb dry lasagna noodles (requires 9 lasagna noodles - unbroken) 15 ounces Ricotta cheese 1 1/2 lb (24 ounces) Mozzarella cheese, grated or sliced 1/4 lb (4 ounces) freshly grated Parmesan cheese

METHOD 1 Put a large pot of salted water on the stovetop on high heat. 2 In a large skillet heat 2 teaspoons of olive oil on medium high heat. Add the ground beef and cook. Remove the beef with a slotted spoon to a bowl. 3 Add the diced bell pepper and onions to skillet (in the photo we are using yellow bell pepper and red onions). Add the minced garlic and cook half a minute more. Return the browned ground beef to the pan. Stir to combine, reduce the heat to low and cook for another 5 minutes. 4 Transfer the beef pepper onion mixture to a medium sized (3 to 4 quart) pot. Add

the crushed tomatoes, tomato sauce, and tomato paste to the pot. Add the parsley, oregano, and Italian seasonings, adjusting the amounts to taste. Sprinkle with garlic powder and/or garlic salt, to taste. Sprinkle with red or white wine vinegar. Stir in sugar, a tablespoon at a time, tasting after each addition, to taste. Add salt to taste, and note that you will later be adding Parmesan, which is salty. Bring the sauce to a simmer and lower the heat to low to maintain a low simmer. Remove from heat. 5 By now the salted water you started heating in step one should be boiling. Add the dry lasagna noodles and cook then per package directions. Stir often to prevent from sticking. Make sure that water remains at a full rolling boil during the entire cooking to prevent noodles from sticking. Spread a little olive oil on

a large rimmed baking sheet, and lay out the cooked noodles on this sheet, turning them over so that they get coated with a little of the olive oil. This will prevent them from sticking together. 6 Assemble the lasagna: In a casserole or lasagna dish, ladle a cup of sauce and spread it over the bottom of the dish. Arrange one layer of lasagna noodles lengthwise over the sauce. Ladle a third of the remaining sauce over the noodles. Sprinkle a layer of a third of the grated mozzarella on top of lasagna sauce. Add half of the ricotta cheese, by placing cheese dollops every couple inches. Sprinkle the grated parmesan cheese evenly over the top of ricotta cheese. Finish with another layer of noodles. Spread the remaining sauce over the top layer of noodles and sprinkle with the remaining Mozzarella cheese.

www.tciparents.com

aspire family living

Budgeting A budget is a plan for your future income and expenditures that you can use as a guideline for spending and saving. Although many Americans already use a budget to plan their spending, the majority of Americans also routinely spend more than they can afford. The key to spending within your means is to know your expenses and to spend less than you make. A good monthly budget can help ensure you pay your bills on time, have funds to cover unexpected emergencies, and reach your financial goals.

ost of the information you need is already at your fingertips. To create or rework your budget, follow the simple steps outlined below to get a clear picture of your monthly finances. You can also use our free online budgeting calculators below to budget for certain specific purchases or events.

Add Up Your Income

To set a monthly budget, you first need to determine how much income you have. Using the worksheet at the bottom of this page, write a dollar figure next to each relevant income source. Make sure you include all sources of income such as salaries, interest, pension and any other income– including a spouse’s income if you’re married. If you get a salary, be sure to use your take-home pay rather than your gross pay. Taxes are usually taken out automatically, but if they’re not, remember to include them as another expense. If you receive money from somewhere not listed, enter the source along with the amount under “other income.”

Estimate Expenses

The best way to do this is to keep track of how much you spend for one month. The worksheet below divides spending into fixed and

flexible expenses. Fixed expenses are those that generally do not change from month to month, such as rent and insurance payments. Flexible expenses are those that do change from month to month, such as food or entertainment. If some of your expenses for one or more categories change significantly each month, take a three-month average for your total.

Figure out The Difference

Once you’ve totaled up your monthly income and your monthly expenses, subtract the expense total from the income total to get the difference. A positive number indicates that you’re spending less than you earn--congratulations. A negative number indicates that your expenses are greater than your income. This means you will need to trim your expenses in order to begin living within your means. Well done–you’ve created a budget. The next step is to track your budget over time to make sure you’re sticking to it. If you find you aren’t able to follow your budget successfully, it may mean that your plan isn’t flexible enough. It can take revisiting your budget a few times to find the balance that works for you.

Putting the great into Britain

Niall Browne is Director of BvS Education

The UK’s independent schools are known as being among the finest in the world and they should be a real consideration for T&C parents thinking about the future education of their children.

their pupils twenty-four hours a day and are there to ensure that every child is happy and performing well at all times. Boarding schools are wellequipped and qualified to support all learning needs.

1. First Rate Education UK boarding schools are outstanding inside and outside the classroom. Their success in international exams and their pupils winning places at top universities speak for themselves. Teenagers are given the structured independence they need to thrive.

4. Facilities Boarding schools have some outstanding facilities and spaces in which youngsters can grow and develop, and boarding houses are often not far shy of a reasonable hotel.

2. All-Round Education Boarding schools are concerned with much more than academic prowess; the classroom is paramount, but the ability to be involved in sporting, creative or intellectual pursuits is of huge importance too. It is still cool to do something rather than nothing.

5. Sport The coaching and facilities available at UK boarding schools are first rate; one has only to look at the number of Olympians and International sportsmen and women who were educated at Britain’s independent schools to see why.

6. Finance It is always worth asking about Bursaries & Scholarships – and the current rates of exchange mean that 3. Support Staff at boarding schools are with UK schools are now considerably

cheaper than those in North America. 7. University A UK university education is internationally renowned and, again, is comparatively inexpensive compared with the USA or Canada especially for students from UK Overseas Territories. 8. Friendship A boarding school education exposes youngsters to a huge array of people – but the ability to live and work with such a huge number of people is what give boarding school pupils the confidence and maturity to excel in their future lives. 9. Internationalism Boarding is the best way to learn about the wider world and to prepare young men and women to take their place in the international world of 21st Century business. 10. Listen to others: ‘Just go to the school, meet the staff, meet the pupils and I think they’ll make up your mind for you.’ (PARENT)

WOULD YOU LIKE YOUR CHILD TO GO TO SCHOOL IN THE U.K.?

Independent advice on Independent education DAY & BOARDING SCHOOLS

www.tciparents.com 47 www.bvs-education.co.uk

family living

By Kimberly Wallace

Vacationing

while on a diet

our suitcase is packed and you have your flight itinerary. You’re will be counting down the days and hours before your vacation officially begins. But there’s that little problem that has been nagging your brain. Concerned that your diet and all the progress you’ve made over the past few months will go down the drain while you’re on vacation. While many see vacation time as the opportunity to break out of the norm, there are ways you can still stick to your diet. First of all, wherever you have decided to vacation, rest assured that many others there that are just as interested in dieting and eating right as you are are. So explore your options, this you can do on your laptop or tablet from the comfort of your home. When making your hotel bookings, inquire about the menu

at the hotel’s restaurant, ask about other nearby restaurants and what they serve so that you can have an idea about what to expect once you’ve arrived at your holiday destination. Many of us can’t resist a buffet breakfast, our taste buds may kick into overdrive when we feast our eyes on French toast, pancakes drizzled with warm syrup, crispy bacon and eggs done however we like it and we may tend to overindulge after all, we’re on vacation, right? But it can spell disaster if you’re really trying to stick to your diet. So opt for cereal,

fruits or yogurt instead. The same applies to lunch and dinnerresist the urge to overindulge, try vegetables or a tasty salad with some meat of your choice. When deciding on a perfect dessert to cap off your dining experience, order just one dessert which you can share. If it comes with toppings, you might want to put in a request to the waiter to have less than the usual amount of whipped cream or syrup. A night on the town may very well be on your agenda, if so while eating out, apply the same restraint as you would if you were dining at the restaurant at the hotel and watch your portions. Nutritionists suggest packing your own snacks that you’re familiar with wafers or health bars, that way you can snack without the guilt. Your exercise routine doesn’t have to come to an abrupt end while you’re on vacation either. Again, when you’re making your reservations, ask the concierge whether the hotel includes a gym. If not, getting your daily exercise by means of an early morning or late afternoon wal or jog will be beneficial. And since swimming exercises every muscle in your body, make time to swim in the hotel pool or in the ocean. Dieting on vacation involves sacrifice but the end result is worth it you feel and look great.

www.tciparents.com

2 FORMULAS FOR EVERY SKIN TYPE NORMAL/DRY COMBINATION/OILY