Today's Charlotte Woman May 2013

MAY 2013 VOL 17 | NO 1 | COMPLIMENTARY

Mama’s

Got A Brand

New Bag

Fancy That Melissa Gibbs & The Queen City’s Mom Prom

Behind The Scenes Arden McLaughlin, Katie Tyler & more

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Starters: Stack books under small objects or lamps to achieve skyscraper lines atop your tables.

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ommitted to making an mpact in our patients’ dental health, Holt Family Dentistry delivers exceptional high-tech dentistry in a relaxed, family-friendly atmosphere. Our diverse and dedicated staff collaborates as a team to surpass expectations, putting patients at ease and earning their trust. We look forward to having you become a part of our dental family.

ACCELERATE YOUR CHILD’S POTENTIAL AT THE JOHN CROSLAND SCHOOL. A child with learning differences or attention deficit disorder has as much potential as any other child, especially when they receive an education dedicated to their needs. The John Crosland School is Charlotte's premier K-12 school focused on learning differences and attention deficit disorder. Schedule a tour today to see just how our unique approach and focus can help your child.

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MINI TOURS

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Photo by Michael C. Hernandez

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Meet Captain Michelle Hummel Officer, Mother of Two & Community Volunteer.

Have You Considered A Career with CMPD? We offer a challenging and rewarding career with numerous possibilities for you to make a difference in our community.

To Apply or For More Information visit: http://www.cmpd.org or call 704-432-1603

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

“I don’t want to do the same thing everyday and being a police officer definitely offers variety. I am lucky to have a career where I can serve the community and work with such wonderful people. When not on duty, you can usually find me at the soccer field with my two boys.”

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Contents | May 2013

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16

Editor’s Letter A Brand New Bag

10 Seen In The City Shain Gallery’s Spring Cleaning Show

12 Eventful Goings On Around Our Town

14 The Purposeful Life With Rosie Molinary

16 Girl Time

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Tips, Trends, And Fancies

20 By The Book Arden McLaughlin Helps Lead The Library

24 Fancy That Melissa Gibbs & The Queen City’s Mom Prom

28 Style Mama's Got A Brand New Bag

35 At Your Service Holt Family Dentistry Cares For The Whole Crew www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 6

36 Seniors, Aging Gracefully Secure The Future With Careful Planning

40 At Home Closets That Organize And Inspire

44 Health Flash What You Need To Know To Stay Well

OnTheCover Featuring model Alex Cruz.

50 Essay: Heart Ties Trump Bloodlines

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On The Model: Dress, Lush, $54, K-la Boutique; earrings and bracelet, stylist's own; green clutch, Street Level, $68, K-la Boutique; pink-studded clutch, Valentino, $1,795, Nordstrom; red cross-body, Marc By Marc Jacobs, $348, Nordstrom; metal reptile cross-body, Stella McCartney, $1,375, Nordstrom.

Photo By Glenn Roberson.

Styled By Stacee Michelle.

FromTheEditor

Volume 17, Number 1 May 2013

PHOTO BY MICHAEL C. HERNANDEZ

Karsen Price Editor Editor@todayscharlottewomanmag.com

Sharon Simpson Publisher Sharon@todayscharlottewomanmag.com

Fern Howerin Associate Publisher Fern@todayscharlottewomanmag.com

A Brand New Bag ’m just like the next girl — I love a new purse.

I didn’t always crave designer bags, though. Back in the day, I thought $35 was a lot to spend on a purse.

Then in the year 2000, at the urging of one of my better coiffed friends, I bought my first “statement bag,” a spring fabric hobo from Coach with accents of turquoise. I was hooked. From there, I became a bonafide “bag girl,” although most of my purses remind me more of old leather saddles and hand-tooled cowboy boots.

My favorite purse ever was that Dooney & Burke animal-print bag that was all the rage for a while. I carried that bag for two years straight, until I got so tired of seeing the knockoffs — with horrible hot-pink trimmings — that I gave up and put it in my closet, where I will one day whip it back out in all its glory as “retro.”

There’s just something about a purse.

It’s like an extension of a woman’s persona. And you know how we like to reinvent ourselves from time to time.

There’s no easier — and fun — way to reinvent yourself than by picking out a brand new purse … designer or otherwise.

Speaking of reinvention, Today’s Charlotte Woman knows a thing or two about the stuff. This month marks the magazine’s 17th anniversary. Over the

I www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 8

Trisha Robinson Sales Executive Trisha@todayscharlottewomanmag.com

years, the magazine has changed in a multitude of ways … from owners and publishers to editors to art directors to logos to our new design, shown off throughout this issue.

In addition to a fresh new look, we have several new sections to bring to your attention this month.

There’s the addition of “The Purposeful Life,” a column by educator Rosie Molinary, author of “Beautiful You: A Daily Guide to Radical Self-Acceptance.”

There’s the welcome addition of Stacee Michelle as our Style Editor. We have refreshed familiar departments with new names and looks, including the replacement of “Queen City Jewels” with “Eventful.”

When it comes to handbag shopping, you generally need your best friend’s opinion to help you decide which purse looks the most “like you.” Here at TCW, we would like you to play the role of best friend … only instead of purses, we’d like your input on the magazine.

Tell us what you like, what you would like to see more of, and what the magazine means to you.

Communicating with us is easier than ever, due to a new and improved website — found at todayscharlottewomanmag.com.

We’d love to hear from you!

April Rozzelle-Woolford Sales Executive April@todayscharlottewomanmag.com

Kerrie Boys Creative Director idesign2, inc Contributing Writers Dana Durham Beth Howard Melinda Johnston Deb Mitchell Rosie Molinary Victoria Moreland Lori K. Tate Style Editor Stacee Michelle Contributing Photographers Michael C. Hernandez Joe Martin Glenn Roberson www.todayscharlottewomanmag.com www.facebook.com/TodaysCharlotteWoman Mission statement:Today’s Charlotte Woman celebrates the lives, loves and endeavors of the women of Charlotte. Our mission is to inspire and motivate our community through well-written editorial content, artful photography and elegant design. The magazine will enlighten, engage and entertain its readers, ever seeking to spotlight the unbreakable strength that is the heart of Today’s Charlotte woman.

P.O. Box 1676 • Cornelius, NC 28031 704.677.9159 Today’s Charlotte Woman is published by Venture Magazines Inc., and is distributed on a complimentary basis throughout the greater Charlotte area.

Subscription rate is $20 per year for 12 issues.

Copyright© 2013 Venture Magazines Inc. All rights reserved. Copying or reproduction, in part or in whole, is strictly prohibited.

Today’s Charlotte Woman and Venture Magazines Inc. do not necessarily endorse the views and perceptions of contributors or advertisers.

Fred Galle

/F THE NEARLYY !MERICAN !CADEMY OF #OSMETIC $ENTISTRY THERE $ENTISTRY MEMBERS WORLDWIDE THE ERE ARE ONLY WHO HAVE ACHIEVED THE EXCLUSIVE W EXCLUSIVE DITED &ELLOW ND LEVEL OF !CCRED !CCREDITED &ELLOW )N ALL OF .ORTH AAND 3OUTH #AROLINA A ONLY ONE DENTIST HAS EARNED TH HIS #AROLINA

THIS ELITE STATUS BYY ILLUSTRATING THE REQUIRED LEVEL OF EXCELLENCE IN THE AREA OF COSMETIC DENTIST RY DENTISTRY !CCREDITED &EL LLOW Ross W &ELLOW W. Nash Nash, DDS DDS.

Cosmetic Dentistry of the

Carolinas

Ross W. Nash, DDS

General & Cosmetic Dental Care

SeenInTheCity O U T

A N D

A B O U T

I N

T H E

Q U E E N

C I T Y

COMPILED BY D AN A DU RHAM • PHOT OS B Y LIZA COX PHOT OGR A PHY

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n March 14, Shain Gallery kicked off the season with its Spring Cleaning Show, featuring some of the gallery’s privately owned collection along with new and old works. Featured artists included Christy Kinard, Connie Winters, Jane Schmidt, Amy Dobbs, William Jameson, and Brian Hibbard. Ten percent of sales were donated to Safe Alliance (formerly United Family Services) to help families and individuals live in safe environ-ments. A whopping $3,700 was raised, and fun had by all.

Jenny Burleson, Rebecca Barrett Levell, Elizabeth Mercer, Liz Barrett, and Allison Cornwell Moss Mark Ryan and wife

Dr. Elizabeth Faircloth Rostan and husband

Gaby Shain, owner of Shain Gallery www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 10

Howard Daniel and Ellen Stevens

Converse Roberts, Toni Steadman, and Carol Roth

Helen Godwin, Fred and Mimi Rees

Bill Wornall, Helen Godwin, Fred Rees, Mimi Rees, and Massoud Shiraz

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www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

JUNE 4, 2013 11:30am - 1:15pm

Hormones need balancing at all ages.

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Eventful O N

A R O U N D

O U R

T O W N

PHOTO COURTESY OF NC BLUMENTHAL PAC

G O I N G S

Gears, Beers & BBQ In Support Of Cancer Research

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elebrate bikes, beers and barbeque — and support 24 Hours of Booty, a bike race that raises money for cancer research — by attending Gears, Beers, and BBQ on May 18, from 11 a.m. to 2 p.m. Held at Birdsong Brewery, a microbrewery founded in Charlotte in 2011, the event features a special Booty Brew, barbeque by Queen City Q, plus music, brewery tours, and cupcakes. Tickets are $30; $20 for designated drivers. Attendees must be 21 and up.

WantToGo? Birdsong Brewery is located at 2315 N. Davidson St., in NoDa. Call 704-507-7773.

War Horse www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 12

Epic Tale Hits The Stage

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ure to dazzle audiences with its epic tale and breathtaking puppetry, the acclaimed Broadway production “War Horse” comes to the Queen City May 28 through June 2 at Belk Theater.

“War Horse” is based on a book by Michael Morpurgo, which was adapted to both the stage and film. It features the remarkable tale of courage, loyalty, and friendship between a boy, Albert, and his horse, Joey, which has been sold to the cavalry and shipped to France.

Joey becomes caught in enemy crossfire

and ends up serving both sides of the war before landing in no man’s land.

Albert, who is not old enough to enlist, embarks on a mission to find his horse and bring him home. At the heart of the play are life-sized puppets, which bring breathing, galloping, charging horses to life on stage.

Note: The play is recommended for ages 12 and up; children under the age of 5 aren’t permitted.

WantToGo? Belk Theater is located at 130 N.Tryon St. Visit Blumenthalcenter.org or call 704-372-1000.

Good Vibrations

The Jazz Room

Carolina Voices Celebrates The ’60s

Courtesy Of Jazz Arts Initiative new monthly jazz series,The Jazz Room @ The Stage Door Theater, is offering an intimate concert of the music of Miles Davis, performed by acclaimed trumpeter Mark Rapp, on May 21.

Charlotte’s Jazz Arts Initiative is the driving force behind this new musical endeavor, which began bringing live jazz music to the Queen City in April. Each performance will take place on the third Tuesday of the month, and feature one 6 p.m. set, with the Charlotte region’s most gifted musicians recreating the music of jazz masters such as Miles Davis, Dave Brubeck, and Billie Holiday.

“This will be a marvelous way to unwind after work and enjoy classic jazz with friends and co-workers,” says Lonnie Davis, executive director of the nonprofit Jazz Arts Initiative. “We encourage everyone to drop in for a drink and hear some of the best jazz the local and regional scene has to offer.”

The Stage Door Theater, part of Blumenthal Performing Arts Center, offers a casual setting, and is located at the corner of Fifth and College Streets. Limited tickets are $10, and available at the door.

For tickets, visit carolinatix.org, or call 704-372-1000.

For information on Jazz Arts Initiative, visit thejazzarts.org.

No Ringling Bros. Here Traces Comes To Charlotte

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WantToGo? Knight Theater is located at 430 S.Tryon St. Visit Blumenthalcenter.org or call 704-372-1000. [TCW]

McGlohon Theater is located at 345 N. College St. Visit carolinavoices.org or call 704-374-1564.

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

n the mood for awe-inspiring acrobatics infused with urban energy? Don’t miss “Traces,” a modern-day version of circus that mixes music and dance with skateboarding, basketball, acrobatics, and more. Deemed “the most fun and memorable 90 minutes you will have all year” by Entertainment Weekly,“Traces” will be at Knight Theater May 7 through 19.

The show includes talented performers who appear to be nothing more than a group of friends, until they unleash 90 minutes of heart-stopping acrobatics, leaving audiences exhilarated.

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WantToGo?

PHOTO COURTESY OF NC BLUMENTHAL PAC

WantToGo?

PHOTO COURTESY OF JAZZ ARTS INITIATIVE

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he 1960s might have produced some of the biggest social and political changes in our country, but it also produced some of the best music of the century. Carolina Voices showcases these tunes with “Good Vibrations: Chart Toppers of the ’60s” May 10 and 11 at McGlohon Theater at Spirit Square.

Join Carolina Voices’ MainStage Choir and friends as they celebrate the music made popular by The Beatles,The Mamas and the Papas, The Beach Boys, Simon and Garfunkel, Jackson 5, and more. The interactive show includes film clips, trivia, and photos that highlight the decade along with special dance and vocal performances.

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APurposefulLife

Journaling

Journey Write Your Way To Self-Awareness

By Rosie Molinary

started journaling as a girl.

I had always been a reader, and writing became a natural next step for expressing myself. Soon, I was processing everything on the written page. By high school, I had discovered that if I gave myself the time to think it through, I had far more answers to my questions than I could have ever imagined.

Even more interesting, writing kept me safe, because it made me incredibly self-aware. I couldn’t claim a truth in my journal — I want to do this or be this kind of person — and then behave differently in the world. If I wrote my dreams and hopes, I did everything I could to realize those things.

What I learned was that there was incredible power in selfknowledge and practicing the personal leadership that would take me where I wanted to go.

Now, when I work with people who want to live more authentic lives, I always incorporate reflection exercises to boost their own self-awareness. People typically know their answers if they will just give themselves the time, room, and quiet to listen for it. Because being in tune with yourself matters at any age and because who we are develops over our time, having a reflection practice can be incredibly empowering.

Try these four strategies to foster more reflection and self-awareness:

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Three Small Questions When I teach journaling workshops, I often give participants a series of prompts that I call Three Small Questions. The catch is that they aren’t small questions at all. They are often big questions, but what I want is short, simple, one-sentence answers. Choose three questions from this sample list and answer them every day for a week. Then choose the next three questions or incorporate your own. Sample list: Who am I? How am I? What do I need right now more than anything else? What did I learn today? How will I apply it? A year from now, what will I wish I had started today?

Intention Setting Start each day with a one-word intention that captures what you want to focus on that day. Maybe it is connection, patience, grace, joy, peace, or leadership. In your journal, capture why you’ve chosen that intention. At the end of the day, return to your journal and record how that intention was present for you that day.

Friday Reflections At the end of each week, I complete the same exercise. Using my senses as a guide, I record what I tasted, saw, heard, smelled, and felt that week. In those notes, I capture new recipes that I want to try again, unique family moments, the complete sensory sensations of a new experience or the everyday things like the scent of hot chocolate and the soaring of bats at night. I end each Friday Reflection with what I am wishing or hoping for in the week to come. Even if I complete no other reflection exercise for the week, this one always grounds me.

Happiness Box The happiness box is a great way to capture your world without having to write too much. Buy a box that speaks to you — it can be a beautiful wooden box or even a simple organizing box — and place it in a location where it will catch your eye often. Leave memories in it that bring you joy — a family photo, a Mother’s Day card signed by your 3-year-old daughter, a locket of hair. Sometimes our memories don’t even need words; they simply need to live on in the very way they are embodied. [TCW]

Rosie Molinary is an author, speaker, and educator who empowers women to embrace their authentic selves.

Learn more at rosiemolinary.com.

For the Free Spirited

By participating in The Power Walk for Dress for Success, you are taking an important step toward empowering disadvantaged women to achieve self-sufficiency.

Join us for the

3rd Annual

A 5K Family Friendly Event to Benefit trendy accessories & apparel unique home decor awesome gifts 704.412.1696 1200 The Plaza Suite A 2 Charlotte, NC 28205 www.incognitogypsy.com Find us on facebook

Saturday May 11, 2013 Freedom Park Registration begins at 8:00am www.DFSpowerwalk.org

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Don’t Miss the First

Nettie Reeves Pre-Race Trainer & Warm-Up

Stiletto Swagger

Fridonna Shepard Steele 2012 Dress for Success Worldwide Success Summit Delegate Honorary Co-Chair

Some of Charlotte’s Favorite Men Will be “Raising the Heel” and walking for awareness

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

“As a patient, many times we do not look forward to a medical appointment. But at Cotswold Family Dentistry, the girls make it fun to return.

I have always had a great experience there. I will continue to recommend them to others.

The front office, the assistants, hygienists and the doctors all are great people to deal with.

They are very honest and friendly.

-Moises

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GirlTime T I P S,

T R E N D S, A N D F A N C I E S COMPILED BY KARSEN PRICE

Rescue Right Katie Tyler’s Tips For Pet Adoption atie Tyler is CEO and “Big Dog” of Tyler 2 Construction in Charlotte. If you know anything about Tyler, you also know she is an avid dog lover (hence the title Big Dog). In addition to rescuing dogs, she trains dogs for Southeastern Guide Dogs. In honor of pet month,TCW asked Tyler a few questions about pet ownership:

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Q: How many dogs have you rescued/trained/owned?

A: I’ve owned 15 from rescue through their passing: Lad, Kita,Whiskey, Scooter, Sassy, Baby, Rascal, Heidi, Maggie, Cooper, Lila, Kukla, Phoebe, Shasha, and Amos.

I’ve trained six for guide dog school: Kandi,Tyler, Phoebe, Phaba, Angel, and Kukla.

I’ve rescued easily over 100.

“This is Cooper, my giant schnauzer who sadly passed away recently. We rescued him from a shelter in Tennessee when he was 10 months old. Took us six months to earn his trust.

We had him six years and he was the best dog!” — Katie Tyler

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 16

Q: What should people know before they decide to get a dog?

A: First, talk to other dog owners about the responsibilities and costs involved — the good, bad, and ugly. Know it is a commitment for the lifetime of the dog, and that many breeds live 15-plus years. Then, take an online quiz. IAMS has a great one called a Breed Selector Tool, a multiple-choice quiz that asks questions about size, appearance preferences, how much time the dog will be alone, how much time you want to spend with it, etc. While it identifies specific breeds, it is a good guideline for finding a mixed breed “family member.” Last, go to Animal Care & Control (formerly known as the dog pound) or the Humane Society and speak to their trained and very experienced staff about dog types and characteristics. They can even keep a lookout for the dog that is best for you.

Q: Why do you think rescuing is best?

A: In the U.S. alone, over 9,000 companion animals are killed every day due to pet overpopulation. Most of these animals are adoptable. Some 17 million Americans will add a new pet to their family each year. By rescuing or adopting rather than buying, you will save a life. Also, adoption costs less than buying from a pet shop or breeder. All sizes, shapes, colors, ages, and temperaments are available through adoption. They just need a second chance.

ARTWORK BY HILDA SPAIN

Pets provide companionship and promote a general feeling of well-being.

Q: What are the rewards of pet ownership?

A: Psychologically, they give unconditional loyalty and love. Pets provide companionship and promote a general feeling of well-being. At work, dogs improve staff morale. (Our office is dog friendly. Today, we have 10 here!) At health facilities, pets improve patient morale. One of my dogs, Phoebe, is a therapy dog, and I have stories of patient inspiration that are heartwarming. Pets promote good health as a stress reducer and exercise partner. And they offer social interaction by promoting positive encounters with others. It is an instant topic of conversation with strangers!

ToLearnMore Visit Animal Care & Control at Charmeck.org; the Humane Society of Charlotte at Humanesocietyofcharlotte.org; and Southeastern Guide Dogs at Guidedogs.org.

Middle Ground Local Women Offer Mom-Daughter Workshop ost of us don’t have the fondest memories of middle school. And when it comes to sending our precious daughters off into the drama, things can get stressful! That’s where Michelle Icard comes in. The founder of the girls’ social leadership program Athena’s Path has joined forces with author and empowerment educator Rosie Molinary to form a mini-conference called Right in the Middle — a fun, three-hour workshop that helps moms and daughters start middle school “right.”

The conference was piloted last year, and created for moms and their rising sixth- and seventh-grade daughters. The idea is to help them (both!) start middle school on the right foot.

“This conference is the highlight of my year because moms and daughters

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leave with a visibly stronger connection,” says Icard, CEO of Michelle In The Middle. “I can see it as the girls physically lean into their moms more as the program progresses.”

She adds, “The day after last year’s conference, a mom emailed me that

she and her daughter had ‘the best conversation of their lives on the ride home.’ For me, there is no feedback that could be better!”

In 2013, the conference will be offered four times — three times in Charlotte and once in Columbia, S.C. The first conference is May 5, from 2 to 5 p.m. at the Piedmont Natural Gas headquarters, in Piedmont Row Southpark. Tickets are $75 per person.

The other conferences are Aug. 4, 18, and 21 at various locations.

“So many changes are flying at girls and moms at this time of their lives,” Icard says. “Should I have a boyfriend?

Should I get an Instagram account?

Who am I supposed to be?

“At RITM, Rosie and I give moms and girls the language to comfortably talk through these questions and to stay on the same team when finding the answers.”

ToLearnMore Visit michelleinthemiddle.com/ rightinthemiddle.

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 17

GirlTime

Career 911 Jumpstart Your Future obyn Crigger, CEO of Compass Career Management Solutions, has had an influx of working women contact her recently expressing a desire to make a career transition.

“Most have expressed a frustration in their current work situations, including no growth opportunities, no increases, more demands, feeling unappreciated, etc.,” she says.

Oftentimes, the dissatisfied employee has done little to grow or improve their skills and talents. “In fact, most have neglected any networking, nor have they attended any professional organizations,

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www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 18

which could grow their networks and give them new skills,” Crigger says.

Interested in jumpstarting your career? Consider the following actions: 1. Join professional organizations where you can meet credible business contacts, helping expand your knowledge and professional circle.

2. Consider which areas of your career possess growth potential, and refer to past performance evaluations to determine areas of weakness. Research a new skill or interest that will help elevate your experience, and then find educational institutions, seminars, and workshops that offer related classes.

Sign up to attend!

3. Select and hire a qualified career

coach to help identify areas of professional growth and give direction on improving specific skills and talents,such as improved presentation skills or leadership abilities.

4. Seek out a volunteer position where you can practice and perfect your new skills, possibly with a mentor.

5. Journal your career growth.

Crigger suggests sharing accomplishments with employers as a way to preface a request for a promotion and/ or increase. “If your employer doesn’t offer encouragement, be prepared to turn to some of your new business contacts for possible job opportunities — hopefully with a more progressive employer, who will value your assertiveness,” she says.

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Opposites Attract And Then They Make You Crazy

A

Rick W Rick Wallace allace fulfilled fulfillled a 55-year 55-year dream dream when he e purchased purchased a Harley Har ley Davidson, Davidson, but tha thatt dream dream turned into into a nightmare nightmare when he wr wrecked ecked the motorcycle motorcycle just six weeks weeks later. later e . A severed severed trachea trachea (windpipe) (windpip e) left left him m without the ability ability to to speak. spea ak.

Rick fo Rick found ound his vvoice oice again thanks to to the Voice Voice and and Swallowing Swallowing C Center enter at at Char lotte EEye ye Ear Nose N & Throat Throat Associates, Associates, P.A. P.A. (CEENTA).

(CEENT C TA). He no longer Charlotte has the rrange ange to to sing sin ng in the church church choir, choirr, though h he can still sing his g randdaughter to to sleep. s sleep . “And “And that’s that’s good enough gh for ffo or me, me,” says says Rick.

Rick. granddaughter List en to to R ick’s story storry at at www.goodsenses.com/rick www.goodsenses.com/ricck Listen Rick’s

WE JUST M MAKE AKE SENSE. SE.

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www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

re you an introvert or extrovert, and in a relationship with a person who is the exact opposite?

If so, join the crowd.

Psychologist Laurie Helgoe — an introvert who has been happily married to an extrovert for nearly 25 years — says opposites do attract, which is why many couples consist of one introvert and one extrovert.

A psychologist and the author of “Introvert Power: Why Your Inner Life Is Your Hidden Strength,” Dr. Helgoe says whether you play the role of introvert or extrovert in your relationship, you often see the other personality’s behavior as “selfish.” She suggests ways to help partners accept and respect their differences … from an introvert’s perspective, of course!

Educate your extroverts. To know you is to love you. Teach those outgoing extros that you need alone time to recharge, and you really like to think before you speak.

Cue your extroverts. When you desperately need a break from people, tell them (nicely) that you’re checking out for a bit, instead of just disappearing.

Expect respect for your pauses.

Extroverts see quiet as a nonresponse; but introverts need quiet to form their response. Teach extroverts that silence doesn’t mean you don’t care. Say, “Hold on. I’m thinking about what you said.”

Negotiate needs. Once you’ve established what works for you, negotiate on how to get both of your needs met.

Remember, stretching yourself for love is a noble thing; stretching resentfully hurts you both.

Love, introvert style. Introverts give each other lots of space, but your relationship with each other needs space, too. Make room for shared introvert pleasures, whether a coffeehouse conversation, walk in the woods or a new part of town, or being “alone together.” Even reading or writing in a cozy setting at the same time counts! [TCW]

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Profile

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

20

By The Book ARDEN MCLAUGHLIN HELPS LEAD THE LIBRARY TO A SECURE FUTURE

By Lori K. Tate | Photos By Joe Martin

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A Love Of Literacy A Mooresville native, McLaughlin attended the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, where she majored in journalism and minored in creative

writing. Her mother, Libby, was a first-grade teacher, and she bought books for McLaughlin and her younger brother, Brett.

“My mom couldn’t keep up with my brother and me,” she says. “I started to reread books because I always wanted to be reading something.”

She’s currently reading “The Passing Bells,” by Phillip Rock, but McLaughlin’s favorite book is “Celia Garth,” by Gwen Bristow. A work of historical fiction, “Celia Garth” takes place in Charleston, S.C., during the Revolutionary War. “You just feel like you’re walking on the streets of Charleston when you read it,” says McLaughlin, who shares a copy of the book with her mom. “It’s hardbound, and the binding is coming off. I’m sad when it’s over, even though I know I get to read it again!”

In addition to a love of reading, McLaughlin’s mother taught her a lesson that she depends on to this day: The smallest details can help you live life to the fullest.

“My mom always used to tell me, ‘Just throw on a little lipstick; you’ll feel better.’ ” To this day, lipstick is one of McLaughlin’s favorite

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

ou might suspect that someone who works for the library spent a lot of time growing up in one. That was not necessarily the case with Arden McLaughlin, development officer for the Charlotte Mecklenburg Library.

“We never could return our books on time, so we stopped going,” she recalls with a laugh — adding that the library wasn’t near her home.

Despite her lack of time in a library as a child, McLaughlin has a unique passion for books. That passion fuels McLaughlin’s passion for the Charlotte Mecklenburg Library. She doesn’t look at her position as a job. Instead, it’s a calling.

“I think she has a real passion for literacy and wanting our community to be a more literate community,” says Karen Beach, director of resource development at the library. “She’s good at connecting people’s interests.”

21

PHOTO BY ROBERT CHRISTOPHER PHOTO BY ROBERT CHRISTOPHER www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 22

things. But the morning of our interview, she forgets to wear any. As soon as she makes this realization, the 34-year-old reaches into her purse and pulls out her (current) favorite shade — Birchbox Pink, by Jouer. “It’s just hot pink,” she says,“and it is fabulous.”

While the act of putting on lipstick might seem simple in most circles, it takes on a deeper meaning for McLaughlin. For her, lipstick is a personal pick-me-up. In fact, she’s been writing a blog for the past year called “Lipstick Makes Everything Better,” which focuses on makeup, ministry, and musings.

“My blog is just about that one little thing you can do for yourself,” McLaughlin explains. “It’s really about learning to do life and accepting your space in life.”

Turn The Page When the downturn in the economy challenged the library on several fronts a few years ago, McLaughlin used her talents to help in any way that she could. “It was fight or flight, and I’m a

fighter,” she explains. “I wasn’t in development at that point in time.

I looked at my boss and said, ‘Look, you know I know a lot of people. You know I love this library. I’m willing to do whatever it takes. How can I help?’ That’s when I started learning the nuts and bolts of what development looked like.”

The community, including many of McLaughlin’s friends, came to the library’s aid, and she says the organization is now on the upswing. To make sure things continue to go in the right direction, she works with individual givers on efforts such as the Annual Fund and special author events.

A large portion of her responsibilities involves Friends of the Library, a group of volunteers who hold an annual book sale in April and a 5K in September.

In addition, she writes book reviews for Little Ones Magazine and appears biweekly on WBTV’s noon segment called Need to Read, where she recommends books for all ages.

McLaughlin applies the high-energy approach she utilizes at the library to

all facets of her life.

When her father,Tom, discovered he had heart disease at age 58, McLaughlin soon began volunteering with the American Heart Association and managed its first Red Hot Purseonality fundraising campaign. She also served on the executive committee for Go Red for Women. On a personal note, she absolutely loves to exercise.

“I’m a big worker-outer,” she says. “I recently got a bike. I love biking. I’m obsessed with cycle classes. Flywheel [a cycling studio in Charlotte] is obsession nation. You can quote me with obsession nation. That’s my favorite thing to say.”

And while her home base is the main library branch, you’ll rarely find her there.

“If I’m at my desk,” she says, “I’m not doing my job.” [TCW] Lori K. Tate is the editor of Lake Norman CURRENTS. She lives in Cornelius with her husband and 3-year-old twins.

ARDEN MCLAUGHLIN’S

TOP-FIVE SUMMER READING PICKS

“And The Mountains Echoed,”

by Khaled Hosseini Hosseini’s third novel follows a close-knit but oft-separated Afghan family. The story opens in 1952 in the village of Shadbagh, outside of Kabul, with a laborer, Kaboor, relating a haunting parable of triumph and loss to his son, Abdullah.

The heart of the novel, however, is the sale for adoption of Kaboor’s 3-year-old daughter, Pari, to the wealthy poet Nila Wahdati and her husband, Suleiman, by Pari’s step-uncle Nabi.

“The Impossible Lives Of Greta Wells,”

by Andrew Sean Greer In 1985, Greta Wells is so distraught by the death of her twin brother and her breakup with a longtime lover that she seeks psychiatric treatment. She finds herself unexpectedly living alternate lives — as both a bohemian adulteress in 1918, and a dedicated wife and mother in 1941. Ironically, her challenges in these two lives recall her contemporary ones despite differences in circumstance.

“The Last Original Wife,”

by Dorothea Benton Frank Leslie Anne Greene Carter is the only first wife among her husband’s friends, all of whom have

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moved on to perky, second marriages. She’s proud of her secure if not scintillating situation until, when out golfing with the crowd, she falls into a manhole and no one notices she’s missing. Thereafter, Leslie Anne determines to rouse her inner sexy goddess and take South Carolina’s white-sand beaches by storm. *The Charlotte Mecklenburg Library will have an event with Dorothea Benton Frank June 17.

Visit cmlibrary.org for details.

“The Accursed,” by Joyce Carol Oates Princeton, N.J., at the turn of the 20th century is a tranquil place to raise a family, and a genteel town for genteel souls. But something dark and dangerous lurks at the edges of the town, corrupting and infecting its residents.

“The Astronaut Wives Club: A True Story,”

by Lily Koppel NASA’s first crew, the Mercury Seven, comprised the best, fittest, and smartest pilots the United States Armed Forces had to offer. While they were busy going where no man had gone before, their earthbound wives became the source of fascination for an American public eager to get a glimpse into the lives of the Astronaut Wives.

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www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

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23

Profile

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

24

Fancy That MELISSA GIBBS STANDS UP TO PEDIATRIC CANCER WITH QUEEN CITY’S MOM PROM

By Deb Mitchell | Photos By Themba Imagery

t the time of this writing, there’s at least one girl in Charlotte who’s anticipating a spring night when she’ll put on a beautiful dress and head out for a magical night of celebrating and dancing.

No, it’s not a teenager looking forward to her high school prom. It’s Melissa Gibbs — wife of J.D. Gibbs, former NASCAR driver and president of Joe Gibbs Racing, and daughter-in-law of Joe Gibbs, NASCAR team owner and former coach of the Washington Redskins.

Melissa Gibbs is putting on her dancing shoes and manning the microphone as “SpokesMom” and emcee for the evening in the name of a cause that’s as close to her heart as one can get — the second-annual Queen City’s Mom Prom, a ladies-only event with a focus on raising funds for pediatric cancer research.

A

Gibbs originally met her husband in the seventh grade, where they were middle-school sweethearts. They fell out of touch with each other until they reconnected for good in college. Gibbs worked in the family business as bookkeeper for its drag-racing team pre-kids, but has since stayed home to raise her four (count ’em — four!) boys, aged 15, 13, 10, and 8.

Six years ago, Gibbs found herself facing a mother’s worst nightmare when her youngest son,Taylor (2 years old at the time) was diagnosed with acute lymphoblastic leukemia.

“He had a fever and cold symptoms,” Gibbs recalls. “The fever went away but he still seemed really puny and needy.” She took him to the

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

Mothering Through Cancer

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www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 26

doctor, thinking he had an ear infection or, at worst, pneumonia. “The nurse took one look at him and asked if he was always so pale,” she says. “You look at your kids all the time, and sometimes you just don’t notice things like that.”

Because of his pallor, the doctor did a blood test, which revealed abnormally low hemoglobin counts. They referred him to the hospital immediately, where a bone marrow aspiration was performed. Taylor was diagnosed and a treatment plan was put into place by the next day.

For Gibbs, the journey through her child’s diagnosis and treatment was a time of drawing close to her loved ones and growing in faith.

“When you’re going through something that intense,” she says,“you trim the fat in your life and focus on what really matters.”

To other moms struggling through the same journey, Gibbs offers a positive attitude.

“People say to me, ‘I couldn’t go through what you went through,’ and before Taylor’s cancer, I would have said the same thing. But you can go

through it. As a parent, you do what you need to do to take care of your kids. And you draw your strength from deep, deep wells.”

Taylor, now 8, is in remission and his prognosis is good. Gibbs says he’s one of the lucky ones.

“Taylor’s cancer is the No. 1 form of pediatric cancer,” she says. “It is well-funded and researched. Just 30 years ago,Taylor’s chances would have been 50/50, but treatments have gotten better and now it’s very curable.”

Pediatric cancer research is underfunded compared to other cancers.

“More adults get cancer than kids, but it’s just so tragic when kids have it.

Research trials are just sitting there waiting to happen,” she says. “People have ideas. But there isn’t money to fund them. You can imagine the panic and desperation of parents whose kids have been diagnosed with more rare or harder-to-treat cancers. You just want to fund as many trials as you can.”

That, says Gibbs, is exactly what Mom Prom is all about. “You don’t have to be a ‘cancer mom’ to care about this issue,” she says. “Mom Prom was

actually started by a non-cancer mom.

Any mom can put herself in the shoes of a mom whose child has cancer. She can feel in her bones the anguish of that mom whose child is ill.”

Dancing For A Cure Gibbs took on the role of Mom Prom’s SpokesMom in its inaugural year after being approached by the event’s organizers. Having just planned a pediatric cancer fundraiser at Charlotte Motor Speedway, Gibbs was ready for a role that didn’t require any “heavy lifting” but could make a difference for kids with cancer.

“I know that having the Gibbs name is impactful,” she says, noting that the respect and credibility the name carries is to her father-in-law’s credit. “And Taylor’s testimony is powerful. If those two things can bring attention to an issue that needs it, then I need to be a good steward of that.”

The 2012 event had 325 attendees and raised $20,000.

Thanks in part to the Gibbs’ family connection to Toyota (Joe Gibbs Racing

ToLearnMore Visit QueenCityMomProm.com for information about next year’s event.

Deb Mitchell, a freelance writer who lives in Huntersville, is the mother of three boys.

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is a Toyota-sponsored team),Toyota Sienna has come on board this year as a Mom Prom sponsor, lending more visibility to the event. “It’s a great fit,” Gibbs says. “After all, the Sienna is a minivan!”

The Mom Prom donates all of its proceeds to Cookies for Kids’ Cancer, a grassroots group dedicated to raising funds for pediatric cancer research. However, the Mom Prom isn’t a somber event, nor is it reserved only for moms who have a child in the fight against cancer.

“It’s an act of solidarity,” says Gibbs. “We will all support each other no matter what.”

The night of the prom, held April 26 at the Havana Banquet and Ballroom in Cornelius, Gibbs had the privilege of introducing five “prom queens” — moms whose children have battled or are battling cancer.

Now on the other side of Taylor’s cancer, Gibbs says it’s hard to believe, but days go by when she doesn’t think about it at all. She acknowledges in the same breath, though, that for too many cancer moms, the outcome is different. It’s for her and for these moms that Gibbs dances at Mom Prom.

“I wouldn’t have chosen a walk through cancer, but there’s beauty in it,” she says. “And knowing that our story can be transferred into something positive feels really good.” [TCW]

27

Style

MAMA’S GOT A

BRAND

ON MODEL: BCBG MAXAZRIA ROMPER, $198, KK BLOOM; WHITE CLUTCH, $45, ALDO; PURPLE CLUTCH, $55, K-LA BOUTIQUE. INFINITI COUPE COURTESY OF LAKE NORMAN INFINITI.

NEW BAG And Then Some!

Photographed By Glenn Roberson Directed & Styled By Stacee Michelle Hair By Erica Arcilesi Makeup By Johnatha Camp Styling Assistant Erica Dunn

By Karsen Price

Dark and dangerous may be a stretch, but secret source of power is hitting the nail on the head. In addition to being the ultimate style accessory, the purse also serves many purposes … from beauty toolbox to medicine cabinet to financial vault. Usefulness aside, a woman’s purse is uniquely representative of her personality, from color to brand to material to style. Make sure to select a bag that makes a statement. If you need some inspiration, just turn the page!

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

p

erhaps Matthew McConaughey (playing ad exec Benjamin Barry) put it best in “How To Lose A Guy In 10 Days” when he described the importance of a woman’s purse. “A woman’s purse is her secret source of power,” he says to his male friends. “There are many dark and dangerous things in there that we, the male species, should know nothing about.”

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Style The Look: Blouse, Lush, $42; maxi skirt, Lush, $44; necklace, $38; bracelet, $39; ring, $12; all at K-la Boutique.

The Bags: Yellow tote, Michael Kors, $248, Nordstrom. Teal tote, $110, Bevello. Metallic tote, $300, Eileen Fisher.

Laser cut tote, Reed Krakoff, $790, Coplons.

Glam Super Tote, $395.

Brighton

SHOULDER Kate Spade, $198.

Nordstrom & Nordstrom.com

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 30

Milly, $365.

Nordstrom & Nordstrom.com

Reed Krakoff, $1,590.

Coplons White tote, $84.

K-la Boutique

Teal tote, $110.

Bevello

& TOTE BAGS

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Style Rebecca Minkoff, $195.

Nordstrom & Nordstrom.com

METAL & Tri-color with metal detailing, $58.

Bevello Dress, BCBG Maxazria, $178, KK Bloom.

Sunglasses, $12, Aldo. White-studded hobo, $95, Nordstrom. Gray metal “Zoe” clutch, $158, FLOW By Tara Davis. Green leather tote, Reed Krakoff, $1,590, Coplons.

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 32

BCBG Maxazria, $178.

KK Bloom

Aldo Accessories, $45.

Aldo

Valentino, $1,795.

Nordstrom & Nordstrom.com

JJ Winters, $320.

KK Bloom [TCW]

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704.845.5466 Promenade on Providence, Beside Ann Taylor Loft 5341 Ballantyne Commons Pkwy Charlotte, NC 28277

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www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

Introducing a fun, boutique style, pop-up shop, located inside The Mole Hole.

Charlotte’s favorite gift shop has evolved into a full-fledged lifestyle brand!

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Combining the talents of Columbia, SC Artist Kyle Smith with the uniqueness of artisan made Cade & Lavender incense from the South of France,The Lavender Farm Shop delivers this exceptional gift for every special occasion.

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Intoxicating Fragrance The White Narcisse Candle by Nest Fragrances is an elegant combination of white narcisse blended with hints of French mimosa, dewy muguet and creamy sandalwood. Housed in a fine, handmade porcelain container, we think it makes a lovely Mother's Day or hostess gift and will set the perfect mood for your next gathering.

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AtYourService

ONE STOP SHOP FOR SMILES Holt Family Dentistry Cares For The Whole Crew

By Melinda Johnston

A

“We find that it’s easier for families when they can all come to the same office.”

— Dr. Sheila Gordon Holt

Holt Family Dentistry 12105 Copper Way, Suite 200 Charlotte, N.C. 28277 HoltFamilyDentistry.com 704/542-2325

She enjoys all areas of general dentistry, including crowns, bridges, cosmetic dentistry such as teeth whitening, veneers, implants, and most recently Invisalign — which are clear braces suitable for many teens and adults.

Education is also an important part of her practice. Dr. Holt points out that teeth are made to last a lifetime, and she wants to make sure people know how best to maintain a healthy mouth.

“You need a dental exam and cleaning twice a year, but you must do your homework between times to keep your teeth healthy. That means brushing at least twice a day, and flossing each evening,” she says.

“And don’t forget to brush your tongue. A lot of plaque and bacteria build up there, and if you only brush your teeth, you are only half done.”

Another big problem most patients don’t consider is the consumption of too many sugary and acidic beverages.

“One soft drink once in a while with a meal is okay, but many people sip on them all day long. That means a layer of the liquid just sits in your mouth and coats your teeth, constantly feeding the bacteria with sugar,” she says.

No place to brush after a meal?

Dr. Holt suggests chewing sugar-free gum that contains xylitol, an additive that’s proven to decrease cavities.

[TCW]

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

re you looking for an exceptional, family friendly dentist for you and your kids?

Dr. Sheila Gordon Holt, of Holt Family Dentistry, treats patients ages 4 and up, so families can be scheduled together for routine cleanings and checkups.

“We find that it’s easier for families when they can all come to the same office. Many of our patients have been with us a long time, and they feel more comfortable bringing their children here,” Dr. Holt says.

She refers to a pediatric dentist when necessary, but says routine dental care for little ones can easily be handled in her office. And since she is the mother of two young children, she has a special affinity for her smallest patients.

Dr. Holt has taken significant effort to ensure that all staff is bilingual in order to better serve Charlotte and the surrounding community. She also strives to make patient comfort a top priority for both children and adults.

“We know that coming to the dentist can be a stressful experience for many people, so we take time to make sure that our patients are comfortable. We offer television, blankets, headphones — anything that will distract them from focusing on the procedure they are having done,” Dr. Holt says.

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A SECURE

FUTURE

From The Perfect Senior Community To The Right Retirement Planning

By Melinda Johnston

our own retirement may still be years away, however your parents or other relatives may be at the point in life where they need a little extra care. A continuing care retirement community — otherwise known as a CCRC — could be the answer.

A CCRC provides all levels of care — from independent living to skilled nursing care — on one campus. Kelly Reed, admissions coordinator at Stanley Total Living Center in Stanley, N.C., explains, “We have independent living apartments, where residents go to the dining room three times a day

Y

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 36

for their meals. We also do their housecleaning and laundry, and keep track of their medications. We do the things for them that they can’t do anymore, so they can stay independent.”

If residents get to the point where they need assistance with dressing, bathing, and other activities of daily living, they move to the assisted living portion where those needs are met.

And if skilled nursing care is required, a different area of the center can handle those needs.

But how do you know if your loved one is ready for a CCRC? For Reed, the answer is surprisingly personal.

“My mother-in-law lived with us for six years, but then had a mild heart attack and moved to Stanley Total Living Center for rehab. She finally moved back to our house, but after several days told me, ‘I didn’t realize I was lonely until I went to work with you. I had a life there. I want to go back.’ We moved her back, and she was able to live that last year of her life surrounded by friends and activities that she other-

wise wouldn’t have had,” Reed says.

According to Reed, continuing care retirement communities offer several advantages for residents. It’s easier to transition from home to an independent living apartment rather than going straight to a nursing home. Residents’ health generally improves, as they are provided three nutritious meals each day and have medications monitored.

Residents find their outlook and attitude generally improves, as they make new friends and participate in activities they may not have had the chance to enjoy at home.

For example, at Stanley Total Living Center, residents can choose to fish, play handbells, swim, shop, have their nails done, and much more.

Lastly, a CCRC also takes the burden off the children.

Reed says, “Once you move your loved one into a CCRC, you don’t have to worry about placing them anywhere else. This becomes their home. They are happy and you know they are well taken care of. At Stanley Total Living Center, we are one big family.”

Making Personal Changes Let’s say the person looking to make changes in her lifestyle is you! Is downsizing your dwelling part of your retirement plan? If so, then Tom Daniel, developer and builder of The Springs at Westport Club in Denver, N.C, has some advice.

“First, understand that downsizing square footage does not mean you are downsizing quality,” Daniel says. “For instance,The Springs consists of patio homes with private-side courtyards and all the luxuries you are accustomed to, but with maintenance-free exteriors.

Sizes range from 1,700 to 3,000 square feet, with a price point between $285,000 and $375,000.”

Whether you choose The Springs or another development designed for active seniors, Daniel says there are a few things to keep in mind.

“Look for a community where you don’t have to give up your privacy,” he says. “You may not be ready to live in an attached dwelling with folks just 6 inches on the other side of the wall.”

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He adds,“Private outdoor living space is also an important amenity, so make sure you carefully consider the outdoor space as well as indoor space before making a commitment.”

Daniel encourages active seniors to make sure the development offers a wide variety of activities in a convenient setting.

For instance, in addition to golf, swimming, and tennis,The Springs’ Westport Community has a county library on site, a book club, a garden club, several card groups, and so much more.

When it comes to your new home, check for age-in-place design.

The Springs has a number of features including wider doorways, walk-in/ roll-in showers, minimal steps, and other features that make it possible for wheelchairs and walkers to navigate if needed. Finally, make sure you understand all the small details before you sign.

Daniel says, “Know the rules about the age of occupants in case you ever want to sell. Know what you can and

cannot do to the outside of your home.

Do your homework and thoroughly read the covenants and restrictions to prevent unforeseen consequences once you own your new home.”

Planning Your Financial Retirement No matter what your age, a healthy bottom line is crucial to a secure future.

Financial consultant Debbie Peterson, owner of Money Counts, notes that retirement will be much more enjoyable if you take a little time to do some financial planning beforehand.

“If they haven’t already done so, I think everybody aged 50 to 55 needs to put together a financial plan for transitioning out of full-time work,” Peterson says. “Hiring a professional consultant to help with the process makes the planning much easier.”

According to Peterson, there are three areas that are important to understand when looking at retirement income, beginning with Social Security.

“Social Security is one of the most misunderstood, yet most beneficial aspects of retirement. You really need to

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understand your Social Security and Medicare benefits and how they apply to you. You also need to know when to take your disbursements to maximize your income,” Peterson says.

Next, consider your pension. If your company has a pension plan, make sure you know all the details. How much is in your account? How and when will that money be distributed? What are the survivor benefits?

Peterson also encourages her clients to review retirement investment accounts — such as IRAs and 401Ks — and find out how and when you can make withdrawals from them.

She says you may be surprised at what you learn.

“There is a lot of misunderstanding about these accounts and you need to know the facts,” Peterson says. “You also need to understand the kinds of investments in these accounts and what you can do to maximize their returns.”

A special thank you to the TCW advertisers who contributed to this feature. [TCW]

AskTheExpert

Direct Bonding For Immediate Repairs Of Front Teeth Dr. Ross W. Nash

red filling on Old, discolo tooth front

Ross W. Nash, DDS, is one of only 46 Accredited Fellows in the American Academy of Cosmetic Dentistry, meaning he has acquired extraordinary skills in the area of esthetic and cosmetic dentistry.

ooth colored composite resin materials can be used to restore broken or decayed teeth and the process can be performed in a single appointment. This type of dentistry requires both technical and artistic ability from the provider. Direct bonding can be the process of choice for many clinical situations and the restorations can usually be placed at a lower fee than other types of esthetic restorations that require a laboratory process.

Jennifer had a sporting accident in her youth and fractured her front tooth. It was repaired and the material had discolored with time. The old restoration was removed and replaced with a new generation of esthetic composite resin.

T

Q: What is composite resin?

A: Composite resin is made of ceramic particles in a plastic matrix.

The glass provides most of the strength and esthetics and the resin binds the ceramic particles together and attaches the material to the tooth.

Q: How does the composite resin stay on the tooth?

A: The materials are attached to the tooth through a process called adhesion or “bonding.” The lamination that results between the tooth and the restorative material can actually strengthen the tooth and the composite resin restoration itself.

Broken front tooth prepar ed for new restora tion

The final result with a new composite resin restoration

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Q: How long will bonded composite restorations last?

A: When placed in the proper clinical situations and with good home care and maintenance by the patient, a direct composite restoration can last for many years.

39

AtHome

IN THE CLOSET Make The Simplest Room In The House A Showstopper

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 40

PHOTO COURTESY OF IMPACT DESIGN RESOURCES

By Dana Durham

T

here’s nothing like a well-organized closet with all the bells and whistles to make a woman look forward to getting dressed each morning.

“Lovely … luxurious … welldesigned … bet you didn’t think we were talking about your closet!” says interior designer Marcella Davis-Burks.

She adds,“A closet can hold the seed for inspiration as you embrace each day. To address your changing moods, functionality and simplicity are key.”

“Organized closets do make day-to-day life easier,” agrees Kristie Knorr, with Impact Design Resources.

“Typically, the space is small in relation to other rooms in your home, and we are always trying to put too much in there!”

The Modern Closet Gone are the days of a few hanging bars and a lone florescent bulb. These days, closets can be as fabulous as the mind can imagine. Think jewelry drawers. Purse organizers. Luxury lighting that accents your skin tone. Slanted shoe shelves, and specially designed nooks and crannies. The modern incarnation of a closet is completely dream-worthy.

At Impact Design Resources, the designers have strong backgrounds in residential organization. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We love working with homeowners and helping make life functional,â&#x20AC;?

Knorr says.

Some clients simply crave organization, while others want their personal space tailored to fit their lifestyle. â&#x20AC;&#x153;We are getting requests for ways to help make closet space special,â&#x20AC;? Knorr says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;That could mean full-blown cabinetry for a dressing suite. It could mean built-in banks of drawers with customized jewelry inserts, or even organized but hidden laundry options.â&#x20AC;?

When it comes to practical options that help your closet function at peak performance, choices are endless.

Knorr says one of the most economical and impactful additions for a closet is adjustable shelving, at a minimum of 14-inches deep. â&#x20AC;&#x153;Shelving can hold shoes, sweatshirts, purses, and clear plastic tubs with seasonal clothing in it,â&#x20AC;? she says. â&#x20AC;&#x153;These days, our lifestyles are less formal, so many items can be folded.â&#x20AC;?

She adds, â&#x20AC;&#x153;We like to create cubbies, so a stack of T-shirts or several purses fit neatly in the space. Even if you cannot spend

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AtHome

money on an adjustable closet system, we do recommend taking time to group items by color within the space that you have.”

Beyond Organization Davis-Burks notes that it’s not just about functionality. These days, closets are luxurious, spacious, and functional.

In fact, they can even boost the value of your home.

“You can use the latest Green Design products while surrounding yourself with flattering lighting and color

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 42

accents to best enhance your skin tone and make you feel more beautiful,” she says.

These days, closets can have amenities that you wouldn’t expect to find, such as a music or computer source, TV, heated floors, and even a wine bar or refrigerator.

Davis-Burks says,“Drawers are perfect as electronic charging areas, and provide organized storage for sunglasses, jewelry, and even a doggie bed!

Pullout racks are serviceable for scarves and belts. Boots can be hung from rods

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with clips. Add task and ambient lighting on shelves — and even add a lighting strip just above your hanging rods to achieve a boutique look!”

No matter what elements you choose, Davis-Burks says your closet should fit your personality.

“You may want to enter a room that proudly displays your clothing and accessory treasures behind glass doors,” she says. “Or, you may prefer hidden-area solutions with doors that conceal shelves, nooks, bins, and hanging storage. Cater to your own personal style.” [TCW]

WANT TO WIN A Closet Makeover?

Through May 10, Impact Design Resources is offering its second annual Mother’s Day Contest, where one lucky woman will receive a consultation with an experienced designer and the chance to create a free, $3,000 dream closet.

“We thought the contest would be a fun way to remind Charlotte-area clients that we love organized closets,” says Kristie Knorr. “The bonus to this contest is many moms receive a thoughtful surprise when they discover the letter written or video made on their behalf. So, even if they aren’t selected by the panel of local judges to receive the actual closet, they received an ‘atta girl’ from someone in their lives.”

To enter, visit Impactdesignresources.com. Send your three-minute homemade video or heart-felt letter explaining why your mother is the most deserving mom in town, and make sure to get creative! The person who most inspires the team at Impact Design Resources wins.

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HealthFlash W H A T

Y O U

N E E D

T O K N O W T O S T A Y COMPILED BY BETH HOWARD

F I T

A N D

W E L L

Still Hungry?

Five Ways To Tame Your Appetite t seems simple: You eat when you’re hungry and stop when you’re full. But appetite, and its effect on weight, turns out to be more complicated. Try these tactics to keep hunger at bay:

I

Cesarean Vs. Vaginal Birth What’s Best For Your Health growing number of pregnant women are asking to deliver their babies by cesarean section without a medical reason. But according to Dr. John Allbert, maternal/fetal medicine doctor at Presbyterian Maternal & Fetal Medicine, this is not the wisest decision.

“The frequency of elective C-section seems to be pretty steady over the past five years,” Dr. Allbert says. “It is estimated that nationwide, 2.5 percent of all deliveries are cesarean on maternal request.”

Dr. Allbert says many women elect for C-sections due to the convenience of scheduling their delivery on a certain day so extended family can plan to attend, or to ensure that a traveling husband will be in town on the big day. Others choose elective C-section hoping to avoid the discomfort and inconvenience of a long labor, despite the fact that modern anesthesia allows women to experience labor relatively pain-free.

Dr. Allbert notes that women mistakenly assume that C-sections are easier on their bodies. “There is a misconception that having a C-section reduces the risk of urinary incontinence,” he says. “After

A

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 44

two years, there is no difference in urinary incontinence between women who have an elective C-section versus those who deliver vaginally.”

C-sections attribute to a longer stay in the hospital, higher infection rates, and lower breastfeeding rates. And there are medical risks involved in C-sections that should keep pregnant women from considering it elective surgery.

The American College of Obstetricians and Gynecologists recommends: • In the absence of maternal or fetal indications for cesarean delivery, a plan for vaginal delivery is recommended.

• Cesarean delivery on maternal request should not be performed before a gestational age of 39 weeks.

• Cesarean delivery on maternal request should not be motivated by the unavailability of effective pain management.

• Cesarean delivery on maternal request particularly is not recommended for women desiring several children, given that the risks of placenta previa, placenta accreta, and gravid hysterectomy increase with each cesarean delivery.

Strive for calm.

Stress is a notorious appetite booster — a trigger for overeating or eating things you normally wouldn’t eat.

When the women in one study were presented with a tension-triggering task, they were more likely to chow down on fattening chips and M&Ms, passing up healthier choices like grapes and nuts. Try yoga, meditation, and other stress-management practices to keep your cool.

Eat filling foods. Foods that are high in water and low in fat — fruits, vegetables, lean meat, and low-fat dairy — provide fewer calories per bite and likewise help to decrease your appetite. By adding water-rich foods like vegetables and beans to your favorite dishes, you get more satisfying portions. In fact, according to Penn State researchers, diets that focus on foods low in calorie-density can promote weight loss while controlling hunger.

Compared with women on a low-fat diet, those who added water-rich foods to their diet lost more weight during the first six months of the study — on average 19 pounds vs.

14 pounds. Other filling foods: The fiber in fruits and vegetables, as well as whole grains and legumes and protein.

Don’t starve yourself. It’s why diets typically don’t work. When you restrict calories severely, the brain’s reward system kicks in, and triggers the release of dopamine and endorphins in the brain — the same chemicals involved in drug addiction. That increases your appetite for high-calorie foods.

Eat slowly. Research from the University of Rhode Island confirms this bit of old wisdom. Investigators asked 30 women to eat a pasta meal on two occasions. The first time, they finished the meal in less than 10 minutes. The second time, the women were asked to stretch out the meal by chewing each bite 15 to 20 times and putting down their silverware between mouthfuls. The result: Women consumed fewer calories when eating the same meal slowly as compared to eating quickly.

Get your Zs. Research shows that skimping on sleep sets off a cascade of hormonal changes that can boost your appetite, leading to extra weight and even diabetes.

Sleep deprivation raises levels of the appetite-stimulating hormone ghrelin and inhibits the release of the hormone leptin, which tells the brain when you’ve had enough to eat. Aim for seven or eight hours of shut-eye each night.

Home, Sweat, Home Invest In Workout Gear

N

early half of Americans own some type of home fitness equipment, and for good reason: There’s no commute to the gym, no waiting for your turn on an exercise machine, and no membership fees. Plus, you can’t cite the weather as an excuse for skipping your fitness routine. With more doctors prescribing regular workouts to counter everything from arthritis to diabetes, a home gym could be a wise investment indeed.

Take these steps when you’re gearing up: Buy what you will use. Spending a grand on a stationary bike or treadmill is fine, if you are certain you will use it.

But according to the Fitness Products Council, about a third of home exercise equipment is languishing in basements and rec rooms. Before you buy, consider your exercise goals and make sure you will enjoy putting in three or more hours a week on the machine you choose.

Take a test drive. You wouldn’t buy a car without taking it for a spin. The same should hold true for fitness gear. Push all the buttons, be sure it fits you comfortably, and see that it moves smoothly through the adjustments. That goes for used equipment, too.

Back To Basics What To Buy You don’t have to spend a lot of money to get a good workout with these fitness basics: • Resistance tubing or stretch bands are effective and cheap.

• Free weights and a bench or a ball. You can perform an infinite number of exercises with dumbbells and a bench for a total body workout. If space is an issue, consider a large plastic stability ball instead. Not only will it do everything a traditional bench does, it can also be used for abdominal work and more advanced upper and lower body exercises. And you can deflate it and put it away.

• Pick up a pair of supportive athletic shoes for walking, running, or aerobic exercise.

Make sure it will fit your space. It’s a surprisingly frequent mistake to buy home exercise gear that won’t fit where you expected it to live. Take measurements to see whether the piece will fit through doorways and stairwells.

• Don’t forget a jump rope!

• Invest in an assortment of exercise videos. Collage Video (collagevideo.com) offers a 60second preview and reviews of most of its 900-plus videos.

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We want every woman to have an annual exam. If not at Midtown OBGYN, with some practice, please.

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45

HealthFlash

Call The Shots The 411 On Adult Vaccinations

T

he word vaccine may conjure the image of tearful children at the pediatricianâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s office. But adults also need to roll up their sleeves from time to time. In fact, the protection of childhood vaccinations wears off over time, while the need for them never ends.

Unfortunately, about 50,000 adults in the U.S. die each year from vaccine-preventable diseases or their complications, according to the National Foundation for Infectious Diseases. Here are a few of the most important vaccines to keep track of:

Tetanus, Diphtheria, and Pertussis Adults have long been advised to get a booster shot for tetanus every 10 years. But public health officials have become so alarmed by recent outbreaks of whooping cough (pertussis) that they now recommend one of those shots be a combined vaccine (called Tdap) that includes protection against three threats: whooping cough, tetanus, and diphtheria.

Characterized by a hacking cough that can persist for weeks or months, whooping cough has been known to crack ribs and lead to hospitalization. In babies, it can be downright deadly. While both tetanus and diphtheria are rare, they still occasionally occur. Diphtheria, which causes a thick coating in the nose and throat, can lead to breathing problems, heart failure, or death. Tetanus triggers painful muscle spasms and lockjaw, a condition in which a person cannot open his mouth.

Pneumococcal Disease Caused by a bacteria, pneumococcal disease can trigger pneumonia, meningitis, middle ear and sinus infections, and a blood infection called bacteremia. Although the vaccine www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 46

Unfortunately, about

50,000 adults in the U.S. die each year from vaccine-preventable diseases or their complications.

has been around for more than 20 years, less than a third of older Americans have received it. Pneumococcal vaccine is already recommended for adults over age 65. The CDC recently advised it for smokers and people with asthma.

Influenza The influenza vaccine guards against the flu, which claims 36,000 lives every year.

Adults age 50 and over and health-care workers are advised to get a flu shot every year, ideally in October and November.

Shingles

Not sure where you stand with your vaccinations? Donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t wait for your doctor to cue you in. Ask your physicians to review your records at your next checkup. [TCW]

www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013

Shingles is caused by the same virus responsible for chickenpox. In people who had the illness, the virus remains dormant in the system, but can re-emerge in older people and those with weakened immune systems. When shingles strikes, it can trigger painful blisters on the trunk or face and leave some patients with nerve pain that lasts for years. A vaccine for shingles, indicated for adults age 60 and over, was licensed in 2006. So far, less than 2 percent of people eligible have received the virus.

47

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TheFinalWord

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By Victoria Moreland

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www.TodaysCharlotteWomanMag.com | May 2013 50

hen I was eight weeks old, my birth mother died in a car crash. I have my unfinished baby book, littered with a few milestones in handwriting that looks a lot like mine. I have her curly hair, wide smile, and big eyes. She may not be a presence in my life, but I am not without a mother.

My father remarried when I was almost 3 years old. I attended the wedding of my father and mother, and smiled for the camera when they took pictures. Notice I did not say stepmother or adoptive mother. My father’s 22-year-old bride became my mother that day and inherited an instant family.

I grew up with my birth mother’s picture on my dresser, and friends often questioned me about losing her.

It saddened me to think of the loss, but when the grief would pass, I knew that knowing my birth mother would have meant not knowing the woman that my father brought into my life –– the woman that I call “Mom.” For those not privy to my personal history, they see Mom in my face.

When I was in my 20s and shopping with Mom at an antique store, a woman with a thick Southern accent was thrown by our resemblance. “She looks like she just spit you out of her mouth,” she said. Not every comment has been as colorful, but we still get

them to this day.

When I was 12, a neighbor questioned Mom about her wedding anniversary. A strange look crossed the neighbor’s face when she determined that Mom’s anniversary was three years less than my age.

Mom didn’t explain it. To be honest, the neighbor was a little nosy and didn’t like us much, anyway.

Mom and I carry our heritage around like a joyful secret, not correcting people when they see us together and mistakenly assuming that we are genetically connected.

She is my mom in every way that matters, and always has been. She was there when I ripped up my Lulu doll and threw her remnants into the grate of our floor furnace. She wiped away my tears when Buddy, my knee-high black dog with too much energy, knocked me down in the backyard.

She hosted summer carnivals in our garage where my friends and I had cakewalks and bobbed for apples. She put up with my teenage tantrums and loved me in spite of them.

She taught me how to cook, how to clean house, and how to be a lady.

She supported my career aspirations, and encouraged my independence while teaching me the importance of respect.

Today, we run errands together, squeezing a stop in at the closest yogurt shop. We savor Indian food and nights out at the movies. We slog

around plant nurseries looking for Sweet Alyssum.

I’m grateful to my dad for bringing Mom into my life.

When I became a mother, I understood the requirements of the job because I learned them from Mom. It didn’t matter that I didn’t give birth to my daughter. It only mattered that I loved her as deeply as if I had.

As we traveled to Russia to meet our adoptive daughter, I knew that the bond of motherhood is not defined by blood, but rather by time, patience, and love. A genetic link is not required.

Mom is a grandmother to my daughter, Olivia. Olivia wants to adopt, so that she can carry on the family tradition. She now gets to hear about how much she looks like me, and experience her friends’ surprise when they learn that I am her adoptive mother. Olivia also resembles her grandmother. The similarity in all of our faces is a neat trick of fate, but it is superficial to the love that ties us together. The old adage blood is thicker than water does not apply here. [TCW]

Victoria Moreland will be spending Mother’s Day with her two favorite girls — her mother and her daughter.

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