Active Family Magazine - March 2018

MARCH 2018

FA M I LY

WEEKEND IN MONTEREY

INSPIRED & INFORMED: Choosing The Perfect Camp For Each Child In The Family

5 DO’S AND DON’TS

of Helping Kids Handle Bullying

Volume 5 / Issue 50

[ PARENTING ]

[ TRAVEL ]

Parenting: Stress-Full or Stress-Free?

Family Weekend in Monterey

8

6

Weekend Escape, Napa

Inspired & Informed: Choosing The Perfect Camp For Each Child In The Family

28

To Help a Victim of Bullying, It Just Takes One

12

What is Summer Brain Drain, and How Do You Prevent It?

10

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

29

5 Do’s and Don’ts of Helping Kids Handle Bullying

22

Summer Camp Guide Summer Camp Spotlight

30

14 After-School Enrichment Programs And Social/Emotional Competence

16

14 2 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2018

12

30

Step inside a lush four-story rainforest filled with over 1,600 colorful plants and animals to experience the sights, sounds, smells, and tastes that rainforests provide. Watch butterflies emerge before your eyes, engage all your senses, and learn more about these vital ecosystems and how you can support critical conservation efforts.

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MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 3

The Osher Rainforest is generously supported by The Bernard Osher Foundation.

Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area

Publisher/Editor

Fashion Editor

Contributing Authors

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Rachel Fawkes www.fawkeshunter.com

Roma Khetarpal The Growing Room Katie Hurley, LCSW Signe Whitson Christina Katz Elizabeth Kang Ann Woods Stratford Schools

Advertising Sales Director

Design/Production

Kathy Brillheart kbrillheart@activefamilymag.com

Teresa Agnew Craft

Travel Editor Elizabeth Kang ekang@activefamilymag.com

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

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Editor’s Note Summer is quickly approaching and it’s time to start thinking about how to keep the kids busy and engaged during the school break. March kicks off summer camp registration around the Bay Area. If you are thinking about enrolling your child in one of the many camp options offered around the Bay, check out our comprehensive Summer Camp Guide on page 22. Whether your child is interested in S.T.E.M, sports, animals or art, you will be sure to find a camp that fits your child’s needs.

In need of a getaway with your significant other? Check out our Napa Valley Travel feature on page 12. Silverado Resort and Spa is a historic estate which offers a respite from the day-to-day hustle and bustle and is just what you need to reconnect. If a family vacay is what you have in mind, we highly recommend the Monterey Tides Hotel. From seal watching, to bonfires on the beach, your family will have a blast spending the weekend in Monterey. Learn more about the hotel on page 8.

Wishing you a wonderful March!

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

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[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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[ PARENTING ]

Roma Khetarpal is the author of The “Perfect” Parent: 5 Tools for Using Your Inner Perfection to Connect with Your Kids and the founder/ CEO of Tools of Growth (www. toolsofgrowth.com), through which she helps parents raise kids to “Be Happy, Think Positive, and Do Good.” She is also a contributor to Huffingtonpost.com and Masalamommas.com.

She is also an Executive Board Member of the Philanthropic Society Los Angeles, which raises funds for Children’s Institute, Inc., and is Member of the Board of Directors for the Santa Clarita Valley Education Foundation, an organization providing support, programs and leadership for K-12 public school education. Khetarpal also serves on the Board of Directors at AM-Touch Dental where she previously served for 20 years as Vice President of Sales and Marketing and where she currently teaches employee relations classes.

She is also working on a line of children’s products that will promote self-understanding and emotional intelligence. (Article first published on Huffington Post)

Parenting:

Stress-Full Or Stress-Free?

by Roma Khetarpal We’re reminded of it at every doctor’s visit: Our vital signs—our heartbeat, breathing rate, temperature, and blood pressure—are the measures of our body’s functions. If you’re healthy, your pulse rate is 60-100 beats per minute; you take about 12-18 breaths per minute; your blood pressure ranges from 90/60 mm Hg to 120/80 mm Hg, and your temperature is between 97.8 degrees F to 99.1 degrees F. As long as you stay within these ranges, all is apparently well.

When we have outbursts of anger or stress and anxiety, however, our sympathetic nervous system is alerted and the adrenaline that is pumped into our bloodstream provides a burst of energy and other physiological changes: Our heart beats goes up, our pulse rate and blood pressure rises, and we start breathing faster and heavier. Repeated patterns of these changes reflect “chronic” stress—the biggest contributor to mental and physical ill health.

So here’s a question for parents: How often do you have outbursts of anger or stress with your kids? Two, three, four times a day or more? Okay, calm, mindful parents might drop those numbers a few notches. But how often do you complain every day—out loud or in your head? All the time, right? This is all part of the parental communication landscape! When it comes to our kids, we are either yelling, getting angry, stressed out, or at the very least, complaining.

6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2018

[ PARENTING ] The exact number of stresses doesn’t matter. What counts is what you can do about them. Here are some time-tested, science-supported strategies for lowering your stress: 1. Take a trip inward, and get familiar with what your “normal” vital signs feel like. It’s best if you start when your kids are not around. Sit in silence for a few minutes and pay attention to your thoughts and feelings, and especially to the gaps of silence in between your thoughts and feelings. Feel the effect of the silence in your body, breath, and heart rate. This is the foundation of meditation.

If your mind continues to race, follow your breath. Your mind will drift. Bring it back to your breath. Research has shown that, like meditating and breathing, even deep sighing can help ease stress. The more you practice it, the better acquainted you will be with what your “normal” vital signs are like, and the better you will become at dialing into that state when you are anxious, stressed, angry, complaining, or frustrated. Being mindful as such simply starts with getting familiar with your optimal healthy vitals.

For most people, thoughts dissipate more quickly than feelings. So...

2. Build your emotional vocabulary. In my book, The “Perfect” Parent, I advocate a tool called Dealing with the Feeling. The steps are: Spot it. Say it. Okay it. Start by spotting what you’re feeling—anger, frustration, fear, guilt, doubt, worry. Say the feeling out loud or in your inner voice: I am feeling angry. Then okay it; validate the feeling. When we validate our feelings, we accept them as they are instead of fighting them. It is the resistance to accepting our feelings that causes stress and anxiety.

Also keep in mind that there is energy created with every emotion. Give yourself some time to…

3. Sit with your feelings and allow them to dissipate. Your goal is to allow this energy to lose its hold on you. Think how anger or stress makes our stomach turn or tightens our neck muscles. Like a seasoned surfer, ride the wave of this energy until you feel it has worked its way through your body—both internally and externally. There’s nothing much to be done here except just observing the energy lose its momentum. Even though it sounds easy, it can be a little unconfotable. We are not used to taking

the time to release the energy behind our feelings. This is why many of our behaviors are repetitive. The more we learn to sit with and release the energy behind current and past emotions as they are created or as they surface, the easier it is to flush them out of our system.

Don’t be afraid to…

4. Look through your growth lens. Asking simple questions like “What am I learning from this emotion or experience” is a huge detangler of past experiences and conditioned internal states. When we answer such self-reflective questions, we slowly reveal what is in our subconscious from decades ago that has stunted our growth. This is true especially for reactions that we have to our children’s repeated behaviors. Don’t think for a second that we take this parenting journey only to help our children grow. Our children cannot move forward in their growth if we don’t grow at the same time. And, please, don’t take life so seriously…

5. Find the funny in life’s moments. Humor is a huge stress buster! Dip into your sense of humor often enough so that it is your constant companion. If you’ve lost it somewhere, or don’t seem to have one, that’s because, like the extra tire of a car, we have it tucked away in our trunk. Hop online and recover your sense of humor with videos, jokes, whatever you can get your hands on. Soak it all in. If all else fails, go to a comedy club, rent a funny movie or buy a silly joke book! Whatever you do, be sure to share it out loud with those around you—your friends, your family, and your kids! Laughter is contagious. Our kids are great teachers of this.

These easy practices will help rewire your brain and recreate new pathways so you can minimize stress and start enjoying the parenting ride. We can’t wait for our kids to leave our home to finally relax, right? As a mother of adult children who have flown the nest, I promise you, that doesn’t happen. If you’re stressed out with your kids now, you’ll have created enough brain pathways to remain stressed for the rest of your life. And then what?

As salesman/philosopher Elbert Hubbard said, “Do not take life too seriously. You will never get out of it alive.”

It is never a challenge that causes us stress, it is our reaction to it. Parenting will never be completely stressfree, but it doesn’t need to be full of stress. We can use tools to create habits that free us from the tangles of stress. The choice is ours.

MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 7

[ TRAVEL ]

Family Weekend in Monterey

by Elizabeth Kang Getting away for the weekend with the family doesn’t have to be a rare treat when you go somewhere close, affordable, and entertaining enough for everyone. That somewhere is Monterey Bay, where the drive up (about 1.5 hrs) is just long enough for the kids to watch Moana in the car, for the 76th time. Pack a light overnight bag and head out on a Saturday morning for a memory making weekend the whole family will enjoy.

Saturday 8 a.m. Get moving! The world-renowned Monterey Bay Aquarium opens at 9:30 a.m. Saturdays, so if you purchase your tickets online, you’ll be able to avoid some lines and walk right in. The aquarium is a must-see when visiting Monterey with the family.

10 a.m. The Monterey Bay Aquarium is an awe-inspiring and educational treat for all ages, and you’ll want to give everyone plenty of time to check out all of the exhibits — at least three hours. Some of the “can’t miss” exhibits at the aquarium include watching the adorable and playful Sea Otters, experiencing the Wave Crash 8 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2018

Tunnel, and gazing into the Kelp Forest, which is teeming with fish, and even sharks. Be sure to check out the ethereal jelly fish exhibit, and go see the Giant Pacific Octopus – one of the world’s largest — measuring six feet across.

12 p.m. Lunch! With two dining options located inside the aquarium, you can choose to grab a quick bite inside the cafe, which serves a wide variety of family friendly lunch fare, or linger a bit longer at the full-service restaurant while enjoying views of the ocean and a glass of wine. At the cafe, you’ll find everything from mini pizzas to fresh-tossed salads, and a coffee bar to keep you properly fueled. (Open daily from 9:30 a.m. to 5:30 p.m.) At the restaurant, enjoy Pacific Rockfish Tacos or Smoked Pork Loin, while children choose from the kid-friendly options from the child’s menu. (Open daily from11 a.m. to 3 p.m.) Both dining options offer seating on a first-come, first-served basis.

3 p.m. Cannery Row. Located right outside the aquarium

[ TRAVEL ] is the famed Cannery Row, with plenty of shops and

minute Sunday chores like laundry and grocery shopping

attractions to keep everyone’s attention until your hotel

when you get home in the early afternoon. You’ll feel

check-in. Stop by CandyLand to pick up some traditional

refreshed and rejuvenated after your fun-filled beach

salt water taffy for the ride home on Sunday.

getaway, and will have created lasting family memories.

4 p.m. Check in time. The Monterey Tides Hotel is a great option for families, as it’s located right on the beach and is only a few minutes car or bus ride to Cannery Row, Fisherman’s Wharf and the aquarium. This pet-friendly hotel has recently undergone a transformation, and features bold seaside colors and rustic wood interiors, mimicking and blending with the surrounding sand and sea. Rooms feature either an ocean or inland view along with flat-screen TVs and mini fridges, and the hotel boasts a large outdoor heated swimming pool and hot tub, as well as a fitness room and two onsite dining options.

5:30 p.m. Dinner at Vizcaino Waterfront Food + Drink.

Located inside the hotel, Vizcaino offers glorious panoramic views of the ocean, so be sure to request a table near the window, and try to time your meal during sunset for an added bonus. The menu features Spanish Coastal Cuisine such as 12-Hour Braised Pork Belly, Seared Ahi, Hydroponic Watercress Salad, and Tajin Sea Bass. The restaurant is casual and family friendly, with a kid’s menu available for breakfast, lunch and dinner.

7:30 p.m. S’mores on the beach. Take advantage of the close proximity of the beach and pack along s’mores supplies for a fun treat. Use the hotel’s beach access and build a bonfire with the family to enjoy a fireside chat and gooey dessert for the perfect ending to a fun-filled day.

9 a.m. Breakfast at the hotel. Options include Spanishinspired signatures like Huevos Rancheros, and Poblano and Oaxaca Cheese Omelette, or staples such as Eggs Benedict or Bananas Foster French Toast. Children’s dishes include pancakes or scrambled eggs and bacon or sausage.

10 a.m. Beach time. Before you check out of the hotel (11 a.m. check-out,) build a sandcastle or take a morning stroll on the beach to soak up every last minute of your beachside stay.

11 a.m. Head Home. You’ll even have time for those last MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9

[ PARENTING ]

Katie Hurley, LCSW, is a child and adolescent psychotherapist and author of The Happy Kid Handbook. Her work can be found on EverydayFamily, Momtastic, mom.me, Yahoo Parenting, PBS Parents and The Huffington Post.

Katie writes the parenting blog, Practical Parenting. Katie splits her time between Los Angeles and the Connecticut coast with her rock and roll husband and their two happy children.

To Help a Victim of Bullying, It Just Takes One

by Katie Hurley, LCSW

IT ONLY TAKES ONE It takes one smile, One helping hand One kind word,

For more stress reduction techniques and strategies to empower children to live happy lives, check out Katie’s new book, The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World.

One act of compassion.

It only takes one human connection To help a person in need.

Empower your child to be the one.

It only takes ONE. I’m alone at recess. I can’t find a friend.

I’m alone in the classroom. They don’t want to be my partner.

I’m alone at lunch. They don’t talk to me.

I’m always alone.

10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2018

[ SEASONAL FUN ] Time and time again, the victims of relational aggression tell me that the loneliness is overwhelming. Their parents tell them they’re not alone. Their teachers tell them they’re not alone. Their coaches tell them they’re not alone. But they feel so very alone. They feel swallowed up by loneliness, by the silence that envelops you when you can’t find a friend.

[ PARENTING ] In the classroom: Look for the student who is always the last one chosen. Get to know that child. Be a friend to make a friend.

During recess: Invite the outliers, the ones wandering around and watching, to join your group at play. The more the merrier when it comes to group play.

They just want one. One friend to play with at recess. One friend to partner up with in class. One friend to sit with at lunch. One friend to share laughter, stories, and secretes.

One human connection to anchor them. One lifeline to pull them away from the dark hole of loneliness.

It just takes one.

Kids are often told to stand up to a bully – to use witty comebacks to show the bully that her words or actions don’t hurt. Kids are told to stand tall, look the bully in the eye, and let the words roll off their backs. Walk away.

Don’t cry. Don’t give the bully what she wants.

Adults give this advice for good reason. They want to build resilience in their kids – they want their kids to know that they are bigger than the bully. The thing is, it’s exceptionally difficult to ignore, walk away, or fire back witty comebacks when you feel like your whole world is falling apart.

In the lunchroom: Sit with the lonely. Ask a question.

Share a favorite story. Talk about a funny movie. Start a conversation to drive the loneliness away.

On the bus: Be the one the fill the empty seat. It’s as easy as saying, “hello.”

On the walk home: Fall in step next to a peer who always seems to walk alone. Sometimes just the presence of another person reduces feelings of loneliness.

When relational aggression occurs: Stand next to the person in need. Say, “let’s get out of here.” Be the lifeline.

Online: For every unkind comment, leave a kind one. For every unliked photo, hit the like button. For every group

It feels impossible to stand tall when others cut you down over and over again. Walking away doesn’t feel like a viable option when the taunting follows you home by text, by email, by social media…when the hurt seems to loop like the 24-hour news cycle.

chat that turns unkind, say no thanks. Sprinkle kindness all

Where do you go when the hurt never stops? How do you get help when the bystanders repeatedly pass you by with their heads kept low in attempt to avoid being the next victim? How do you survive?

the team that everybody counts.

It’s time to teach our children to be the one. What I see in my practice, and what the research supports, is that it only takes one human connection to help another person in need. Positive upstander behavior is associated with a decrease in the frequency and impact of negative bullying behavior.

It only takes one.

Teach your child to be the one.

over to lighten up the darkness.

On your team: Be a leader. Leaders are includers.

Leaders bring the whole team together. Leaders show

Chronic loneliness is associated with anxiety and depression. When children are targeted, excluded, and face bullying and relational aggression on a regular basis, they are at risk for chronic loneliness.

It only takes one child to stand up and help another child in need. It only takes one human connection to reduce that loneliness. Teach your child to be the one. If we all make every effort to empower our children to be the one, we can reduce (and possibly even eliminate) relational aggression and bullying among our children.

MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11

[ TRAVEL ]

Weekend Escape, Napa

by Elizabeth Kang We’re so lucky, living in the Bay Area. Narrowing down the locations for a weekend getaway is actually quite difficult, especially in the Spring. Beach or snow escape?

City or forest adventure? And if you get the opportunity for an adults-only weekend, there are even more options to consider. Do you enjoy a spa day, go wine tasting or indulge in upscale dining? Your best bet is to make room for all three, and that’s exactly what we accomplished during our most recent weekend escape in Napa.

for its spectacular fountain pool and tasting terrace overlooking gorgeous views of the vineyard and rolling hills.

In an effort to take advantage of nearby Napa Valley and all of its verdant splendor this time of year, we made the hour drive North for an enjoyable, sans-kids weekend. There are, of course, scores of wineries and luxury hotels to choose from, but we focused on an old favorite; Alpha Omega Winery, stayed somewhere historic; Silverado Resort and Spa, and ate somewhere trendy and (fairly) new; Farmstead.

For $50, guests can enjoy Alpha Omega’s four signature wines in the main tasting room or on the outdoor terrace: Sauvignon Blanc, Chardonnay, Proprietary Red and Cabernet Sauvignon.

Sip & See Come for the wine, and stay for the incredible views.

Alpha Omega Winery is known for its big, bold singlebarrel cabs, and tasty, unique chardonnays, but also 12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2018

While tastings at this Napa Green-Certified winery and vineyard are not the cheapest you’ll find in the valley, we find the experience to be well worth the cost. Alpha Omega wines are lush and complex, and the service is always exemplary. Did we mention the views?

The winery hosts special events throughout the year, usually at a discounted price for wine club members. It’s also open a bit later than most wineries — till 6 p.m. — which makes it a great last stop on your winery tour, even more so if you time the sunset right.

Stay & Play The Silverado Resort & Spa is the ideal adult playground.

[ TRAVEL ] Champion golf courses, bike rentals, tennis courts, bocce ball and serene spa treatments are sure to keep everyone happily occupied, whether staying with friends or a special someone.

Farmstead, located in a renovated barn owned by Long Meadow Ranch, a cattle ranch & winery. Farmstead serves true farm-to-table, New American fare, and is the hot reservation in Napa Valley.

At the heart of the resort is the Silverado Mansion, which was once home to Civil War Hero General John Franklin Miller. Legend has it that when construction began in the early 1870s, General Miller refused to destroy the existing onsite Spanish Adobe, for superstitious fear of bad luck.

So, it is said that the main residence is built around the adobe, which is supposedly contained in the Southwest section of the mansion.

Open for lunch and dinner, Farmstead showcases some of the very best local ingredients from its farm, ranch, and vineyard.

Beyond its intriguing history, Silverado Resort is a lovely place to stay, with its stately, brilliant white mansion and perfectly manicured, lush landscaping. It’s comprised of 439 one-bedroom condominium suites, two swimming pools and a hot tub, three dining destinations, and a plush 16,000 square foot spa and salon. The expansive property includes a choice of staying in four distinct “neighborhoods,” and many rooms offer state-of-the-art kitchenettes and other luxurious amenities.

Dining options are numerous, including the casual yet refined The Grill, where you can enjoy a Kobe Beef burger and glass of bubbly, al fresco, overlooking the scenic golf course. At the Mansion Lounge, sitting by the fire pit while stargazing and enjoying a cocktail, and perhaps something from the cigar menu, is a common pastime. Or grab a quick sandwich, smoothie or coffee at Boost Cafe.

Wine & Dine When you’re ready to venture outside of the resort for a memorable dining experience, we highly recommend

Shared bites “for the table” include the popular “Mini Ham Sandwiches (and) pepper jelly,” decadent “Warm Burrata (with) whole roasted garlic, estate olive oil, grilled bread,” and the impressive “Farmstead Charcuterie Board,” which could easily be a meal in itself.

Starters are equally strong, including hearty salads such as the “Salad of Lacinato Kale (with) chile pequin, toasted parmesan, lemon dressing, and the hearty, yet delicate Grass-fed Beef Meatballs served with caramelized onions, greens, and tomato marmalade.

The entrees offer wide variety of meat and fish options, plus at least one vegetarian option, which we appreciated. The “Wood Grilled Heritage Pork Chop” with broccoli, jalapeño grits, and pear chutney was huge, and succulent. From the smoker we enjoyed the “Heritage St Louis Ribs” with green apple coleslaw, which were well executed and generously portioned. On the lighter side, the “California Arborio Rice” with squash puree, mushrooms, and lemon ricotta was delicate, fresh and perfect for the season.

Dessert options are numerous, including house made ice creams and sorbets, artisan cheeses from the Bay Area, and a decadent sounding Scharffen Berger Chocolate Cream Pie.

MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13

[ PARENTING ]

Signe Whitson is a certified school social worker, author, and internationallyrecognized speaker with 20 years of experience working with children, teens, and families. She presents customized training workshops for professionals, parents, and students on topics related to understanding and ending bullying, managing anger in children, changing passive aggressive behavior, and intervening effectively in crisis situations in schools and treatment organizations.

In her articles, books, and trainings, Signe provides down-to-earth, practical advice for navigating the daily challenges of living and working with children, tweens and teens. As a mother of tween & teen daughters, Signe relates to parents on a personal level.

5 Do’s and Don’ts of Helping Kids Handle Bullying

by Signe Whitson One of the most common reasons parents approach me is to ask for my advice on how to help their child handle a bullying situation at school. Fear for their child’s well-being combined with a sense of powerlessness at changing peer dynamics often leaves moms, dads, and other caregivers feeling helpless. The bad news is that conflict and bullying are pervasive among school-aged kids and most students will be impacted by physical or social

Signe is the Director of Counseling & Wellness at The Swain School in Allentown, PA. She is also the Chief Operating Officer of the Life Space Crisis Intervention Institute, an international training and certification program for turning crisis situations into learning opportunities for children and youth with chronic patterns of selfdefeating behaviors.

aggression either directly or indirectly. The good news is that there are many, many ways that parents can help safeguard their children and positively impact kids’ relationships. Here are five of the simplest—yet most powerful— do’s and don’ts parents can use to help their kids handle conflict and bullying: 1. Words Matter Do help kids understand the difference between unintentionally rude behavior (such as butting ahead in the lunch line), mean comments said in a moment of anger between friends (e.g. “You’re not my best friend anymore”), and

She is the author of six books

bullying behavior that is characteristically marked by purposeful cruelty that

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[ SEASONAL FUN ]

[ PARENTING ]

is repeated over time and involves an abuse of power

child understand that time away from a BFF can be a

(whether that power be size and strength or social rank

healthy thing and that spending time with other friends

at school.)

(or alone!) is not a sign that a friendship is over, but rather a wise choice.

Don’t allow kids to over-label rude and mean behaviors as ‘bullying.’ In recent years, gratuitous references to

Don’t let kids get caught up in all-or-nothing thinking

bullying in schools and communities have created a

patterns that cause them to think that a period of

“little boy who cried wolf” phenomena, resulting in

annoyance with a BFF must result in the end of the

jaded adults failing to take action when needed and

friendship altogether. Bullying too often begins where

vulnerable children missing out on the adult support they

friendships end; besties become frenemies when a slight

desperately need.

snowballs into a fight. Adults play a key role in teaching

2. Conflict is OK Do teach your child that it is perfectly normal to disagree with a friend. Differences of opinion are perfectly acceptable and learning how to communicate them respectfully is a critical social skill.

Don’t worry that you’re too much of a helicopter parent if you intervene in your child’s friendship conflict. Kids are not born knowing how to resolve conflict (goodness knows too many people make it to adulthood without this knowledge!). Young people need supportive adults to coach them in how to disagree without arguing and how to apologize after they’ve behaved badly.

3. Bullying is Not OK Do talk to your child about the qualities of a good friendship and help them to set healthy boundaries on how they are treated by others. Having a fight with a friend is one thing—being on the receiving end of persistent cruelty is quite another. All young people

young people that time apart can actually bring friends closer together.

5. Stronger at the Broken Places Do believe that your child is strong enough to cope with the emotions associated with conflict and bullying, including anger, sadness, embarrassment, confusion, and even humiliation. Empower the young person in your life to work through difficult situations and negative emotions and provide them with unconditional love and support all along the way.

Don’t rescue your child from every problem situation and challenging emotional state. While it can be incredibly difficult to watch a young person struggle with painful feelings, not allowing them to cope is far worse! You are raising your child to become an adult and as such, he or she needs to know how to handle whatever life throws at them.

should be empowered to know the difference.

Does this mean you should allow your child to navigate

Don’t second-guess your child if he or she tells you that

As noted above, kids need adults to teach them helpful

they are being bullied. Listen to them, convey that you

skills to cope with friendship troubles.

conflict and bullying entirely on their own? Of course not.

believe them, tell them you ae sorry for what they are going through, and help them problem-solve when they

Am I saying kids should be exposed to intense levels of

are ready for this step. The experience of feeling heard

stress in order to “build their character?” No way. It’s

and understood is invaluable for a young person.

never healthy for kids to become stressed beyond the limits of their coping abilities.

4. BFF’s Do Not Have to Be Together 24/7/365 Do let kids know that it’s totally natural for friends to get

What I am saying, however, is that kids need to be

on each other’s nerves from time to time and that these

allowed to feel their feelings and—with the support of a

feelings of irritation and annoyance are very different

caring adult—to learn how to cope with these feelings in

from actually “not liking each other anymore.” Help your

healthy ways during their childhood and adolescence.

MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15

[ PARENTING ]

The Growing Room was created for children. It has always been a safe place to go before and after school to learn, to study and to have fun.

Since 1989, our philosophy hasn’t changed: work with parents to provide exceptional after-school enrichment for children. The Growing Room partners with families to provide the best before and after school programs available.

After-School Enrichment Programs and Social/Emotional Competence

Serving the San Ramon Valley Unified School District, we offer before and after-school care in San Ramon and Danville California. Our licensed childcare programs are located at Neil Armstrong, Hidden Hills, Live Oak and Tassajara Hills.

educational fields confirm that children who participate in afterschool

by The Growing Room Do children who participate in afterschool enrichment programs acquire increased social skills and social/emotional competence?

The short answer is “Yes”. Decades of research across interrelated programs reap a host of positive benefits. In addition to improved academic skills, interrelated outcome areas also include prevention, health and wellness, and social/emotional competencies. Recently, studies exclusively exploring the connection between afterschool program participation and improved social competencies document a wide range of pro-social outcomes, including: improvements in peer relationships, sense of self-worth,

Our off-campus Enrichment Center, The Growing Room Academy, represents 25 years of listening to the needs of families in our community. Registered with the California Department of Education, The Academy combines a specialized class-based curriculum with a focus on language and culture study as well as private classes, lessons and tutoring.

The Growing Room values the diversity reflected in our community and welcomes children from all ethnicities.

altruism, self-control, and intrinsic motivation.

Youth enrolled in high quality programs are more likely to see positive outcomes. How social/emotional competence is achieved during afterschool program participation rests on three key factors: quality programming and staffing, frequency of youth participation, and strong local partnerships.

Quality of Program and Staffing A program that offers a well-organized, active form of learning is the key.

The curriculum should also provide a focused component on personal skill development that fosters peer-to-peer engagement. Interpersonal engagement is what facilitates high quality social/emotional learning

16 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2018

[ PARENTING ] outcomes. Programs that offer classes with a sequenced

which leads to a sense of self-assuredness. High-level

set of activities (designed to achieve interactive skill

participants are also likely to find more enjoyment in the

development objectives) such as STEAM curriculum,

programs, be more actively engaged, and have greater

music and language instruction, chess club, homework

learning outcomes.

labs, and organized athletic participation provide opportunities for interpersonal communication. These

Strong Partnerships

types of classes target explicit personal or social skills

Afterschool programs, that effectively develop and

as part of the learning outcome. This curriculum

establish strong partnerships with supporting team

yields a wide range of significant positive pro-social

members such as local schools, families, and community

outcomes, including self-efficacy, self-regulation, intrinsic

business, reinforce pro-social learning outcomes.

motivation, empathy, self and social awareness, and

Providing a bridge between home and school, while

relationship management skills. These acquired skills lead

supporting other community businesses, contributes to

to an increased sense of accomplishment.

a child’s social development in both his/her micro and macro environment.

Structure is also important. Programs with a good teacher-student ratio are important. Youth concentrated

Children who develop social/emotional competence

together without adequate supervision will not provide

possess the tools they need to succeed in the classroom

the environment for pro-social learning outcomes. In

and beyond. Quality afterschool programs provide

programs where staff models positive behavior, provides

a vehicle for youth to feel connected to each other,

individual and guided feedback, actively listens, and

teachers/mentors, and their community. Strong

are enthusiastic about their chosen subjects, positive

emotional/social skills are the cornerstones for self-

peer-to-peer relationships are more likely to occur.

confidence, self-awareness, and empathy, and provide

Additionally, staff that establishes clear expectations for

the foundational leadership skills for future generations.

mature respectful peer interactions will see increased social skills among their students.

Sustained Participation Much as participation gaps influence academic, musical, or athletic outcomes for youth, gaps in afterschool program participation also impacts the pro-social benefits. Research indicates that students experience greater social/emotional gains if they participate regularly and with greater frequency (more

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days a week) in their afterschool program. This also includes participating in a sustained manner over a number of years. Youth who participate at a higher level are more comfortable seeking and maintaining new friendships. The increased opportunity to socialize in a positive environment outside of school not only results in improved relationships with peers, but in a sense of belonging. High participation also allows stronger interpersonal relationships with adults. Youth who participate more extensively establish closer connections with teachers and adult mentors than their less engaged peers. Strong and sustained participation allows

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ZOOCAMP ZooCamp is an exciting week of animal adventure, nature discovery, and FUN for kids pre-K through high school.

Camps run mid-June through mid-August

Affordable Family Vacations at Lake Tahoe

Registration opens mid-March!

Family Camp Sessions: June 22 through July 14 & July 30 through Aug 12

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Summer @ Stratford

Discover where the Extraordinary begins Stratford School infuses its STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, and Math) curriculum into an innovative and enriching summer camp experience for children in Preschool through Middle School.

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CAMPS & ACADEMIES

Held at 150 Prestigious Universities UC Berkeley | St. Mary's | Las Positas Carondelet High | Stanford | SJSU | Santa Clara U

Get a brochure and find a camp near you! iDTechCamps.com | 1-844-788-1858 MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Summer Alameda County ALAMEDA Alameda School of Music 1307 High St. 510.769.0195 www.alamusic.org

Camp Bladium 800 West Tower Ave 510.814.4999 www.bladiumalameda.com/ youth-kids/kids-camps

BERKELEY Music Discovery Workshop 2005 Berryman St. 510.528.1725 www.sfems.org

St. John’s Camp Elmwood 2727 College Ave. 510.845.6830 www.stjohnsberkeley.org/ campelmwood

Sticky Art Lab 1682 University Ave. 510.981.1148 www.stickyartlab.com

City of Dublin 100 Civic Plaza 925.556.4500 www.ci.dublin.ca.us

Young Writers Camp UC Berkeley Campus 510.642.0971

Valley Christian School 7500 Inspiration Dr. 925.560.6270

www.bawpwritingcamp.org

www.ValleyChristianSchools.org

Green Stuff Summer Camp UC Berkeley Botanical Gardens 510.643.4832

Edge Gymnastics Training Center 6780 Sierra Court St. K 925.479.9904

www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

www.edge-gymnastics.com

Lawrence Hall of Science UC Berkeley 510.642.5134

Kidz Kraftz Quail Creek Cir. 925.271.0015

www.lawrencehallofscience.org

www.kidzkraftz.com/camps

BERKELEY/ECHO LAKE

Tri-Valley YMCA 6693 Sierra Ln 925.263.4444

Berkeley Echo Lake Camp Lot #7 Echo Lakes Rd 530.659.7539 www.cityofberkeley.info/camps

CASTRO VALLEY Skye Valley Training Camp 10250 Crow Canyon Rd 925.858.8825 www.psi.lunariffic.com/~skyev0/

Sarah’s Science 21525 Knoll Way 510.581.3739 www.sarahscience.com

Camp Kee Tov 1301 Oxford St. 510.842.2372 www.campkeetov.org

Bee Best Learning 20394 San Miguel Ave. 510.728.2110 www.beebestlearning.com

Habitot 2065 Kittredge St. 510.647.1111 ext. 14 www.habitot.org/museum/ activities_camps.html

Monkey Business Camp 2880A Sacramento St. 510.540.6025

www.trivalley.ymcaeastbay.org

Extended Day Child Care 8435 Davona Dr. 925.829.4043 & 7997 Vomac Rd. 925.551.8170 7243 Tamarack Dr. 925.833.0127 & 5301 Hibernia Dr. 925.803.4154 & 3300 Antone Way 925.826.5538 www.extendeddaychildcare.com

Quarry Lane School 6363 Tassajara Rd. 925.829.8000

DUBLIN

www.quarrylane.org

East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 4651 Gleason Dr. 925.479.9670

FREMONT

www.eastbayspca.org/camp

www.monkeybusinesscamp.com

22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2018

Learning Bee Summer Camp 39977 Mission Blvd.

510.226.8408 www.learningbeeusa.com

Ohlone for Kids 43600 Mission Blvd.

510.659.6000 www.ohlone.edu/org/ ohloneforkids

HAYWARD Hayward Area Recreation Park District (H.A.R.D.) Day Camps 510.881.6700 www.haywardrec.org

LIVERMORE Horizons East Equestrian Center 5111 Doolan Rd. 925.960.9696 www.showstables.com

Roy’s Magic Camp 2466 8th St. 925.455.0600 www.magiccamp.org

Camp Arroyo Taylor Family Foundation 5535 Arroyo Rd. 925.371.8401 www.ebparks.org/activities/ daycamps/parks_camp_arroyo

Saddle to Ride Topline Training, Inc. 4180 Greenville Rd. 925.858.3933 www.saddle2ride.com

Xtreme Force Dance Company 847 Rincon Ave. 925.455.6054 www.xtremeforcedanceco.com

Double Diamond Sports Academy 2272 Research Dr. 925.830.9765 www. doublediamondsportsacademy. com

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camps Valley Montessori 1273 N. Livermore Ave. 925.455.8021

MOCHA Summer Camp 1625 Clay St. 510.465.8770

Contra Costa County

www.valleymontessorischool.com

www.mocha.org

OAKLAND

PLEASANTON

Lakeshore Children’s Center 3534 Lakeshore Ave. 510.893.4048

Gingerbread Preschool 4333 Black Ave. 925.931.3430

City of Antioch Parks and Recreation 213 “F” St 925.776.7070

www.lakeshorechildrenscenter.org

www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us/services/ recreation/gb/gbhome.html

Urban Adventure Camp 5701 Cabot Dr. 510.339.0676 www.urbanadventurecamps.com

Extended Day Child Care 5199 Black Ave. 925.846.5519 www.extendeddaychildcare.com

East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 8323 Baldwin St. 510.569.0702 www.eastbayspca.org/camp

Quarry Lane School - East 3750 Boulder St. 925.846.9400 www.quarrylane.org

California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 4660 Harbord Dr. 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html

Oakland Summer ZooCamp 9777 Golf Links Rd. 510.632.9525 www.oaklandzoo.org

Lake Merritt Boating Center Youth Boating Camps 568 Bellevue Ave. 510.238.2196 www.sailoakland.com

Raskob Learning Institute 3520 Mountain Blvd.

510.436.1275 www.raskobinstitute.org

Kids N’ Dance 3840 Macarthur Blvd.

510.531.4400 www.kidsndance.com

Quarry Lane School - West 4444B Black Ave. 925.462.6300 www.quarrylane.org

ANTIOCH

www.ci.antioch.ca.us/Recreation

Four Stars Gymnastics Academy 1799 Vineyard Dr. 925.778.8650 www.fourstarsgym.com

CONCORD City of Concord Parks and Recreation 925.671.3404 www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps

Camp Concord in South Lake Tahoe 1000 Mt. Tallac Trailhead Rd South Lake Tahoe 530.541.1203

Yang Fan Academy 4160 Hacienda Dr. St. 100 925.699.4664

www.ci.concord.ca.us/recreation/ camp

www.yfacademy.org

Backyard Explorers Corner of Babel Ln & Cowell Rd. 925.671.3118

City of Pleasanton Summer Programs 200 Old Bernal Ave. 925.931.3436

DANVILLE City of Danville Camps 420 Front St. 925.314.3400 www.danville.ca.gov/Recreation/ Camps

Vision Tech Camps 117 Town & Country Dr. St. B 925.699.9602 www.visiontechcamps.com

Athenian Summer Programs at Athenian School 2100 Mt. Diablo Scenic Blvd 925.837.5375 www.athenian.org

Color Bundles 301 Hartz Ave. #104 925.727.3137 www.colorbundles.com

Camp Brainy Bunch 741 Brookside Dr. 510.548.4800 www.campbrainybunch.com

Quest Therapeutic Camps Charlotte Wood Middle School 600 El Captain Dr. 925.743.2900 www.questcamps.com

www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps/backyardexp.htm

www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us

Expressions Dance & Art 3015 Hopyard Rd. Ste. I 925.200.9908 www.expressions-dance-arts.com/

Young Ivy Academy 5460 Sunol Blvd (#3) 925.548.0188 www.youngivyacademy.com

Inspire Music Academy 2340 Santa Rita Rd. Ste. 7 925.461.3266 www.inspiremusicacademy.com

MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Summer LAFAYETTE California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 1000 Upper Happy Valley Rd 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html

Kids N’ Dance 3369 Mt. Diablo 925.284.7388 www.kidsndance.com

Sienna Ranch 3232 Deer Hill Rd. 925.283.6311 www.siennaranch.net

Sherman Swim School 1075 Carol Ln. 925.283.2100 www.shermanswim.com

www.frenchforfun.com

Lafayette Tennis Club 3125 Camino Diablo 925.937.2582 www.lafayettetennis.com

Husky House for Kids 3855 Happy Valley Rd. 925.283.7100 www.huskyhouseforkids.org/ summer-camp-programs

Lafayette Community Center Camps 500 Saint Mary’s Rd. 925.284.2232 www.lafayetterec.org

Roughing It Day Camp 1010 Oak Hill Rd. 925.283.3795 www.roughingit.com

BandWorks Summer Camp 28 Orinda Way 925.254.2445 www.bandworks.com/summer_ orinda.php

Orinda Academy 19 Altarinda Rd. 925.478.4504

Camp ARF for Kids 2890 Mitchell Dr. 925.256.1273 www.youth.arf.net

City of Walnut Creek Summer Camps 1666 North Main St. 925.943.5899 www.walnut-creek.org

Merriewood Children’s Center 561 Merriewood Dr. 925.284.2121

www.orindaacademy.org

Camp Doodle 66 St. Stephens Dr.

Castle Rock Arabians 1350 Castle Rock Rd. 925.933.3701

www.merriewood.org

www.campdoodles.com

www.castlerockarabians.com

MARTINEZ

PLEASANT HILL

John Muir Mountain Day Camp John Muir National Historic Site 925.680.8807

City of Pleasant Hill Camps 147 Gregory Ln 925.682.0896

Multiple Locations

www.johnmuirassociation.org/ muircamp/index.php

French For Fun 3381 Mt. Diablo Blvd 925.283.9822

ORINDA

Rancho Saguaro 1050 Pereira Rd. 925.788.5200 www.ranchosaguaro.com

MORAGA Gaels Summer Camp 1928 St Mary’s Rd. 925.631.4FUN www.smcgaels.com

Camp Saklan 1678 School St. 925.376.7900

www.pleasanthillrec.com

PITTSBURG City of Pittsburg Parks and Recreation 300 Presido Ln. 925.252.4842 www.ci.pittsburg.ca.us

SAN RAMON City of San Ramon Camps 2226 Camino Ramon 925.973.2500 www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us

Adventure Day Camp Dorris-Eaton School One Annabel Lane 925.937.6500

www.saklan.org/about-us/campsaklan

www.adventuredaycamp.com

OAKLEY

Adventure Day Camp Seven Hills School 975 North San Carlos Dr. 925.937.6500

City of Oakley Parks and Recreation 3231 Main St. 925.625.7044 www.ci.oakley.ca.us

Diamond Hills Sports Club 1510 Neroly Rd. 925.420.4575 www.sparetimeclubs.com

24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2018

WALNUT CREEK

www.adventuredaycamp.com

Lindsay Wildlife Museum Summer Science Camp 1931 First Ave. 925.935.1978 www.wildlife-museum.org

The Growing Room Academy Various locations around the Bay Offers: 3,4 and 5 Day Camps 925.837.4392 www.thegrowingroom.org

Camp Rocks: Girl Scouts of Northern California Offered at 5 locations: San Rafael (Camp Bothin), Santa Cruz (Skylark Ranch), San Jose (Camp Metro Day Camp), North Lake Tahoe (Deer Lake), and the Sierra Nevada Mountains (Sugar Pine) 800.447.4475 ext. 2091 www.camprocks.org

Mad Science Camp Offered at several local Recreation sites and Community Centers 925.687.1900 www.mtdiablo.madscience.org

Steve and Kate’s Camp Danville, Dublin, Fremont, Oakland, Walnut Creek and Berkeley 415.389.5437 www.steveandkatescamp.com

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camps Camp Galileo Alameda, Alamo, Berkeley, San Ramon, Walnut Creek, Fremont, Oakland, Lafayette and Orinda 510.595.7293

Club Sport Fremont, San Ramon, Pleasanton and Walnut Creek 925.938.8700

Camp Unalayee 3921 East Bayshore Rd. Palo Alto 650.969.6313

Almaden Equestrian Center 20100 Almaden Rd. San Jose 408.927.0232

www.clubsports.com

www.unalayee-summer-camp.com

www.almadenequestriancenter.net

www.galileo-learning.com

Camp Edmo Alameda, Fremont, and Oakland 415.282.6673

CYO Summer Camp 2136 Bohemian Hwy Occidental, 95465 707.874.0200

Silver Creek Sportsplex 800 Embedded Way San Jose 408.224.8774

www.campedmo.org

www.camp.cccyo.org

www.gotoplex.com

Kids’ Carpentry Berkeley, Lafayette, Alameda, Oakland, Alamo & Walnut Creek 510.524.9232

Mountain Camp Woodside 302 Portola Rd. Portola Valley 650.576.2267

KinderCare Walnut Creek, Concord, Danville, Martinez and Clayton 888.523.6765 www.kindercare.com/ summercamp

Viva el Espanol!

Lafayette, Piedmont, Pleasanton & San Anselmo 925.962.9177 www.vivaelespanol.org/ summerprograms.php

Stratford School Summer Sports Camp & Enrichment Danville, Fremont, Los Gatos, Morgan Hill and Pleasanton 925.737.0001

www.techknowhowkids.com

www.stratfordschools.com

888.709.8324

Sky hawk’s Sports Camp Various locations around the Bay Area 800.804.3509

Out of Area

www.skyhawks.com

Lango Language Summer Camps Serving Alamo, Blackhawk, Brentwood, Briones, Canyon, Clayton, Concord, Danville, Martinez, Moraga, Orinda, Pacheco, Pittsburg, Pleasant Hill, San Ramon, Walnut Creek and surrounding regions 888.445.2646

iD Tech Camp Moraga, Concord, Livermore, Berkeley and other Bay Area locations www.idtech.com

www.collegeforkids-smccd.com

www.mountaincampwoodside.com

www.kidscarpentry.com

TechKnowHow Kids Dublin, Berkeley, Fremont, Livermore, Oakland & Pleasanton 650.638.0500

College For Kids 1700 W. Hillsdale Blvd.

San Mateo 650.574.6149

Camp Tawonga 131 Steuart Ste. 460 San Francisco 415.543.2267 www.tawonga.org

School of Rock Summer Camp 711 South B St. San Mateo, San Jose & Palo Alto 650.347.3474 www.schoolofrock.com

SF Zoo Camp Sloat Blvd. & the Great Highway San Francisco 415.753.7080 www.sfzoo.org

Kennolyn Camps 8205 Glen Haven Rd. Soquel 831.479.6714 www.kennolyncamps.com

Golden Arrow Camps 644 Pollasky Avenue, Ste. 100 Clovis, 93612 800.554.CAMP www.goldarrowcamp.com

Coppercreek Camp 1887 Williams Valley Rd. Greenville, 95947 800.350.0006 www.coppercreek.com

www.langokids.com/parent/kidslanguage-summer-camps

MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Inspired & Informed:

Choosing The Perfect Camp For Each Child In The Family

by Christina Katz A mistake parents can make when choosing a camp is confusing their child’s needs with their own needs. If you want your child to be happy at camp, focus on who he or she is rather than on who you were as a camper. Your goal is to create a harmonious relationship between each of your children and the camp experience, not for your child to follow in your well-worn hiking boots.

If going to camp is an option for your child, that’s wonderful. But don’t force camp on a child who is terrified of the idea. At the same time, feel free to plant the seed in your children’s minds from an early age that when they are ready for camp it will be a fun, life-enhancing adventure. If older siblings or friends of the family have gone to camp and enjoyed the experience, younger siblings may be eager to go. But if your child is not enthusiastic, feel free to wait until your child feels brave enough to make the leap.

Author, journalist, and writing coach Christina Katz has learned that seeing kids as the individuals they truly are always pays off in the long run. She also knows it can be a mistake to do what everyone else is doing, even if that’s what the child wants in the short run.

Camp Considerations Feel free to share your camp experiences and what you got out of them with your kids, and invite others in the family to do the same. At the same time, communicate clearly your understanding that your child is not you, and that you like and respect the person your child is. Sending a child to camp to correct things about them is backwards. The person who needs to change their attitude in this scenario is the parent, not the child.

If you have worries or concerns about your child, don’t send your child to camp to address those feelings. Find someone you can talk to so you can learn to accept your children for who they are and meet their range of needs.

Kids who are secure in their own skin thrive at camp, whereas kids who are insecure and anxious may flounder.

A Range Of Choices Sending kids to camp may have been your idea, but in order for kids to feel good about the adventure, they need to buy, as well. The first question to ask yourself is, which types of camp are best suited to your child’s physical, emotional, and mental needs? Would day camp or overnight camp be the better choice at this developmental stage? If choosing overnight camp, would your child prefer to be close or far from home? Also consider the mission and style of the camp. Would your child prefer to rough it for a week in the White Mountains or stay in a cozy, family-style camp with modern amenities closer to home?

Parents may need to let go of the idea that what was good for them as children is good for their kids. What was good for you as a child may traumatize a sensitive child or a child with special needs. Strive to meet your kids where they are. Parents may experience some grieving in letting go of preconceived notions of sharing similar experiences with their children. But

26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2018

[ SUMMER CAMP ] try to leave the past in the past, so you can make the healthiest choices for your family in the present.

For example, if you were a rugged and athletic child, these traits may have been widely admired, as they usually are. If your family of origin had a bias against sensitive or artsy kids, you will want to be aware of a possible unconscious tendency in yourself. You may also need to steel your mind against what others think about who your child is. You are not taking a poll. This is not the 1950’s or even the 1980’s. Try to view the camp landscape through the eyes of each child instead of through the eyes of others from an outdated point of view.

What if you are different from your child in even more profound ways than personality? What if the two of you have very little in common? Would you both crave the same types of camp experiences? Would you even be likely to choose the same camps? Probably not, and this is perfectly okay.

Be Respectful Children know intuitively when they are liked and accepted. They also know when parts of them are disliked or rejected. To look at a child and compare him or her to your childhood self or to siblings or peers is disrespectful and hurtful. To really see your child and accept him or her means loving and respecting your child as is. Each child is an individual with so much to offer the world. If you choose the best camp for your child, you can relax knowing the folks in charge will see the value in your child. When you recognize the value in your child, others see it, too.

Trying to force a child to be more like you, when the child is not you, may seem harmless and common in our society, but there is a cost. A child can feel when she is being criticized, so even if you are trying to bring the two of you closer together by putting your child through paces you were put through as a kid, your child may feel used and unacknowledged.

You cannot send a child who is not like you to camp and get a version of yourself back. Not only does camp not work this way, life doesn’t work this way. Take a good, long look at each of your children. Resist the urge to see them as a version of yourself. None of them are you.

There will never be another you in the whole wide world.

Once you see, understand, and accept each of your children, then you can work together to choose the perfect camp for each of them.

TYPES OF CAMPS This list breaks types of camps down into the most basic types. Camps can become much more specialized as you explore within categories, so this list is just to help you get started considering your options.

Day Overnight Sports Education Leadership Technology Arts Wilderness Girls Boys Co-ed Family Religious Traditional Specialized School vacation INDIVIDUATION WORKBOOKS FOR PARENTS Do your kids a favor and see them for who they truly are. Love each of them to the best of your ability. If you struggle with any of this, admit it, and get some help. Often, parents are so busy taking care of everyone else they sometimes neglect themselves. Individuation is an ongoing process that begins in childhood and continues for a lifetime. Parents can benefit by finding selfexpression practices that help them keep up with their needs. When parents take care of their own emotions, the need to project onto children diminishes and healthy boundaries can be restored. These workbooks are a good place to start for any parent who is over-identifying with a son’s or daughter’s choices.

The Artist’s Way Workbook by Julia Cameron The Creative Journal by Lucia Capacchione Journal To The Self by Kathleen Adams Start Where You Are by Meera Lee Patel The Secret Me by Shane Windham The Inner Child Workbook by Cathryn L. Taylor

MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Considering Summer Camp?

Take a personal camp tour before you decide.

by Ann Woods Unless you've attended a particular camp yourself, it's not easy to know what exactly goes on at the camp that you are considering sending your child to. You can check out their website and read all the information provided but it's still not like seeing the camp in action. An excellent camp will offer opportunities such as Sample Camp or Family Day before the session starts but if you really want to see how a camp performs, request a personal camp tour!

Here are 5 reasons why seeing camp in action can provide you the insight you need to know if a camp is right for your child.

1. You can feel the camp spirit! Positive energy is infectious and should be felt the minute you come into camp - even if you are just visiting. True camp spirit can't be faked or contained - it just IS! 2. The camp community is one you want to be part of. It’s no secret that many lifelong friendships and connections are made at summer camp. The camp community that you send your child to should be one that supports your values and philosophies. Outstanding camps encourage social skills development, leadership and communication and these should be noticeable upon your visit.

Ann founded Roughing It in 1972 with her husband, Hobie and together they serve as Camp Directors.

Roughing It is celebrating its 43rd year this summer and offers camp programs for children aged 4-16.

An all outdoor traditional Day Camp Roughing It is located at the Lafayette Reservoir each summer and continues a proud tradition of helping children grow in wonderful ways each summer. Roughing It offers free transportation to and from camp each day with 36 bus stops across the Tri Valley, Contra Costa, East Bay and San Francisco communities. For more information go to www.roughingit.com

3. See what new skills they will learn. Unique and challenging adventures are essential to the camp experience and they help kids to grow in positive ways. The lessons offered and level of instruction are evident when visiting camp in action and will give you an idea of what adventures await your child. Teamwork, participation, encouragement and resiliency are all things your child can take away from a summer of camp adventures.

4. Take in the surroundings! You've seen the site in pictures but what does it look like when you actually get out there? Is it clean? Safe? Do they have adequate facilities? Even if you are familiar with the location it is helpful to see how the location is used, where the activities take place and the safety measures being used. Outdoor summer camps in particular are quite unique as they offer unrivaled access to nature. Outdoor exploration, respect and appreciation for nature and connection to the environment not only make for a good camp location but it also makes for a nice visit!

5. Get to know the staff. Quality camps take great measure to hire remarkable staff. The staff should be highly qualified, well-trained, trustworthy and good role models. Seeing just how well the counselors act and interact with the campers will speak volumes as to the quality of staff the camp hires. A personal tour or summer camp personal tour provides the opportunity to speak directly with the directors and camp staff and ask all the questions you may have.

The benefits of summer camp are unparalleled. So much can be gained from a summer at camp – it’s a place for children to learn, grow, discover the outdoors, make new friends and create memories that last a lifetime. Simply put - it enriches the life of a child and can change their world! With so much to be gained from summer camp adventures – it’s important to know just what you are getting. A phenomenal camp will welcome to the opportunity to personally share their camp with you!

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[ SUMMER CAMP ]

What is Summer Brain Drain, and How Do You Prevent It?

by Stratford Schools While your kids may look forward to summer and not having to worry about school or homework for a few months, a summer completely free of learning may set them back. On average, students lose between two and three months of math and reading skills in the summer.

Fortunately, there are some simple ways that you can prevent your children from falling behind their peers in the summer. Below, we dive into the concept of summer brain drain and how you can combat it to set your child up for success when school starts again.

What is summer brain drain?

As families make plans for the summer, many parents may be concerned about the “summer brain drain.” The summer brain drain, also called the “summer slide,” refers to the loss of skills and knowledge that can occur in the summer months.

Stratford School recognizes the need to combat summer brain drain while still allowing children to decompress and have fun during the summer months. Our unique summer camp program enables children to continue learning and growing through the summer months through fun and engaging camps and programs.

Stratford’s flexible summer program also allows parents to balance summer camp with downtime – we know how easy it is to over-schedule a child in today’s fast-paced world. It is just as important to allow a child to be a child, as unstructured, unplugged time allows children to explore their imagination and get outside.

Explore Stratford’s innovative and enriching summer program where learning is balanced with fun and children can run and play while still avoiding the summer brain drain. Learn more about Stratford School’s summer camps today!

Not only can summer learning loss put children at a disadvantage for the beginning of the school year, but it also can cause delays in classroom progress. Educators often spend the first six weeks of school re-teaching skills that students learned in the previous grade before they can move on to new material.

Summer learning loss can happen as early as first grade. As children grow older, this phenomenon can compound. By the time a student is in sixth grade, a consistent summer slide can cause a student to be two years behind their peers.

How do you prevent brain drain?

Mixing educational activities into your child’s summer doesn’t have to feel like school. Depending on your child’s interests, you can add in a few fun, daily activities that will keep them on track for the school year.

Try incorporating some of these activities into your child’s summer plans for a fun way to keep their mind sharp: • Start a book club with your child where you read their favorite books throughout the summer.

• Help your child start a journal documenting all their summer activities.

• Set up scavenger hunts that lets your child run around while answering educational clues.

• Download educational apps and encourage your child to beat their high score.

• Purchase a robotics kit and build a robot together.

• Teach them a new skill, like cooking or helping in the workshop.

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[ SUMMER CAMP ] X

Camp Spotlight that will strengthen their teamwork skills, bolster their confidence, and develop their sense of self-esteem.

The strength of their camp stems from small group sizes, personal attention to each child, a wide array of activities, and an experienced staff dedicated to enriching children’s lives.

ID TECH iD Tech is the world’s #1 summer STEM program for ages 7-18 held at 150 prestigious universities including UC Berkeley, St. Mary's, Las Positas, Carondelet High, Stanford, SJSU and Santa Clara U. With world-class instructors and innovative courses in coding, game development, robotics, and design, our programs instill in-demand skills that embolden students to shape the future. Learn more at iDTech.com.

Adventure Day Camp has been owned and operated by the Welch family since 2000. Kevin and Sunshine Welch are actively involved in all aspects of the camp program, and combined, have over 35 years of summer camp experience.

Programs available in Walnut Creek, San Ramon and Alamo locations.

To register: www.adventuredaycamp.com 925.937.6500

To register: www.idtech.com 1-844-788-1858

ADVENTURE DAY CAMP Adventure Day Camp, a traditional summer day camp, provides a welcoming, lively, safe, positive, and diverse environment for children ages 3- 15. Their program exposes campers to a variety of challenging and exciting activities 30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2018

ROUGHING IT DAY CAMP Discover the outdoors at Roughing It Day Camp! An all outdoor summer camp experience for children ages 4-16. Enjoy the wonders of our lakefront location: canoeing, fishing, hiking and more.

Swimming and horseback riding instruction included. Campers grow in friendships, confidence, and teamwork. Free transportation from 36 Bay Area Locations. Free extended care! Learn more or schedule a camp tour at roughingit. com, 925.283.3795 To register: www.roughingit.com 925.283.3795

®

Preschool

Education is a Lifelong Commitment

®

Discover Quarry Lane

NOW ENROLLING Join our Open House every Wednesday! www.QuarryLane.org/Preschool

Toddler, Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten Academic-Based Curriculum Passionate, Experienced Educators

PLEASANTON WEST CAMPUS Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten 4444B Black Ave., Pleasanton, CA

925.462.6300

Full and Half Day Schedules Computer, Spanish, Music, P.E., and Library Two Preschool Campuses in Pleasanton

PLEASANTON EAST CAMPUS Infant through Pre-Kindergarten 3750 Boulder St., Pleasanton, CA

925.846.9400

MARCH 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31 CA Licenses: 013411303, 013411304, 013411305, 013417681

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