MARCH 2019
HOW TO DITCH THE DRAMA in Your Relationships
BOOSTING SIBLING HARMONY
24-HOUR NAPA GETAWAY!
Volume 6 / Issue 61
[ PARENTING ]
[ TRAVEL ]
[CALENDAR OF EVENTS ]
Boosting Sibling Harmony
24-Hour Napa Getaway
March
6
10
22
The Single Mom’s Recipe for Kicking Resentment to the Curb
Hotel Spotlight The Clift Royal Sonesta Hotel
[ MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIPS ]
14
28
5 Phrases (And 1 Question) to Help Your Tween Daughter Through the Hard Stuff
[ ENTERTAINMENT ]
18
How to Ditch the Drama in Your Relationships
24
Cirque du Soleil Profile
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
16
Summer Camp Section
34
[ HEALTH ]
Summer Camp Guide
Time To Detox?
38
9
30 2 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
16
26
Open March 22 – May 5 Throw back your spring break 66 million years. Experience life-size dinosaurs that move and roar, and unearth fossils like a paleontologist in our East Garden. Plus, see real specimens and enjoy dino-themed activities throughout the entire Academy. Hurry— before it goes extinct! Get tickets at calacademy.org Dino Days Festival is included in general admission.
Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area
Publisher/Editor
Marketing Interns
Contributing Authors
Tracie Brown Vollgraf
Megan Shackley
Advertising Sales Director
Fashion Editor
Whitney Ignacio Whitney@activefamilymag.com
Rachel Fawkes www.fawkeshunter.com
Travel Editor
Design/Production
Elizabeth Kang ekang@activefamilymag.com
Teresa Agnew Craft
Dr. Michele Borba Elizabeth Kang Jamee Tenzer Emma Vollgraf Isabella Vollgraf Ava Vollgraf Olivia Vollgraf Katie Hurley, LCSW Christine Carter, Ph.D. Amber Ross
Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566
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Editor’s Note I don’t know about you, but this Mom is ready for some sun! As Spring quickly approaches it brings more daylight, plenty of sunshine and the opportunity to get outdoors! Be sure to check out our March calendar on page 22 which offers great family-friendly events around the Bay as well as a few date-night options! St. Patrick’s Day is right around the corner, so be sure to check out the City of Dublin events page as their annual parade and weekend festivities are sure to be a hit with the kids! No matter what time of year it is, we are always up for an adventure! Traveling is our favorite family pastime and we love sharing the destinations we discover along the way. Just a quick jaunt, Napa is always a preferred go-to, especially with friends or significant other (although there is plenty to do with the kids as well!). We were able to sneak away for a 24-Hour getaway and you can read all the details on page 10! Highly recommend packing up an overnight bag and hitting the road for the day! Happy Spring! Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com
4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
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[ PARENTING ]
Boosting Sibling Harmony by Dr. Michele Borba
Reality Check: University of Michigan Medical School: Research shows that siblings will fight more in families where there is no understanding of acceptable ways to solve conflicts. Make sure you teach your children how to resolve their bickering! I’ll never forget the time one of my kids accused me of one of the truly Deadly Mommy Sins: “Loving the Other Brother More.” To make things even worse, my girlfriend was the one to convey my youngest child’s feelings to me. “Did you know that your youngest, precious child thinks you love your second offspring more?” I can remember not only her words, but where she relayed them to Dr. Michele Borba is an internationally recognized expert and author on children, teens, parenting, bullying and moral development. She is an NBC contributor appearing over 100 times on the TODAY show and is the regular parenting expert on Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers. Her work has been featured on Dr. Phil, Dateline, The View, The Doctors, Fox News, The Early Show and CNN and well as in Newsweek, People, Good Housekeeping, Chicago Tribune, U.S. News & World Report, Washington Post, The New York Times and The Globe and Mail. She was an MSNBC contributor to two televised “Education Nation” specials. Dr. Borba is the awardwinning author of 22 parenting and educational books translated into 14 languages. Titles include: Don’t Give Me That Attitude!, Parents Do Make A Difference, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, and Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me!, No More Misbehavin’, Building Moral Intelligence (cited by Publishers’ Weekly as “Among the most noteworthy of 2001”), and Esteem Builders used by 1.5 million students worldwide. She writes as the parenting expert for Dr. Oz’s website, as well a daily column for her blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check: www.micheleborba.com Twitter: @micheleborba
me. They caused such angst. Oh the guilt, the shame, the humiliation! There are few crimes your child can accuse you of that make a parent feel more hurt and disgraced. And how could my son possibly feel I loved his brother more? I wracked my brain trying to figure that one. I’d always tried so hard to make things fair amongst my sons. After all, I went out of my way to make sure I showed up–and on time, at that–at the precise same number of their soccer games. I tallied the exact hours I volunteered in each of my children’s classrooms to ensure I gave equal time. I even checked my calendar to make certain each child had the same number of play dates. And now I’m accused of being an unfair mother! I was devastated. A few sleepless nights I finally had my “Ah-ha parenting moment.” I realized that though I can try to make things appear even and equal for my kids, the fact is, it’s just plain impossible. Besides, even trying to treat kids equally is plain unrealistic: my three kids are as different as night and day just as I’m sure yours are as well. Our kids come packaged with different temperaments, interests, and needs. So we can’t drive ourselves too crazy trying to make things always fair. It just isn’t realistic. Besides, real life isn’t fair. It was my Reality Check and became an important tip to remind myself. The truth is, as much as we try to make our kids feel equally loved, they are bound to accuse us of showing “favoritism.” It’s up to we parents to keep things in perspective. The real secret here is to try and minimize conditions that break down sibling relationships that can cause long-lasting resentment. Here’s the bottom line: While some rivalry is plain unavoidable, parents can discourage sibling disharmony by giving careful attention to how their household atmosphere is structured. Here are nine tips to guide you in minimizing jealousy and boosting harmony
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[ PARENTING ] amongst your kids:
report cards only to their own previous work—never to the work of their siblings or friends. Instead of stimulating
Give yourself a reality check
a child to work harder, comparisons are more likely to
Before you go beating yourself up, take a moment to
fuel resentment.
seriously reflect on how you do treat your kids. Avoid using negative labels A good question to ponder is: “If someone asked your
Family nicknames like Shorty, Clumsy, or Klutz can cause
child if you treat your kids fairly, how would he or she
unfair family ribbings and fuel sibling resentment. “Don’t
respond?”
worry, he’s just the family klutz”-as well as become daily reminders of incompetence. These kinds of labels often
For instance: Does each kid feel like your favorite? Do
stick and become difficult to erase, not only within but
you avoid comparing your kids in front of others? Do
also outside your family as well. In fact the one rule on
you provide opportunities for each child to nurture her
labels:
special talents? Unless the label is helpful or esteem-enhancing, don’t Is there one thing you might do to change your behavior
use it! Labels create sibling resentment but also become
or interactions with your children to minimize their
fulfilling prophecies.
feelings of jealousy or rivalry? Nurture a unique strength for each sibling Get in your child’s shoes
All kids deserve to hear from parents what makes
Pretend you really are in the shoes of the child who feels
them unique. Knowledge of that talent nurtures their
jealous. How would you feel if you were your kid? How
self-esteem as well as setting them apart from their
would you act? Is his take on things right? If so, what
siblings. Ideally, you should nurture a different strength
will you do to change your relationship with this child
for each sibling based on natural temperament and
so he feels just as special in your eyes? Write down your
interests. Once you identify the talent, find opportunities
thoughts then commit to making that change happen.
to cultivate and validate it so each child can be acknowledged for their strength.
Refrain from comparing behaviors Never compare or praise one kid’s behavior in contrast
Find special alone time with each child
to a sibling: it can create long-lasting strains. “Why can’t
One way to let each child feel treasured is by spending
you be more like your sister?” “Why aren’t you organized
alone just with each parent. Capitalize on those
like your brother?” All too easily, kids can interpret such
individual moments as they arise: “Your brother’s asleep.
comparisons as: “You think he’s better than me” or “You
Let’s just you and I go read books together.” Or make a
love him more.” It unfairly puts pressure on the sibling you
date with each sibling to have special time just with you
praised and devalues your other child.
then mark it on the calendar.
Listen openly to all sides
How frequently you meet is based on what’s realistic for
Listening fairly your kids is not only a powerful way to
your schedule: thirty minutes weekly, ten minutes daily,
convey that you respect each child’s thoughts and want
an hour every other week.
to hear all sides: “Thanks for sharing. Now I want to hear your brother’s side.” The key is to build a fair relationship
Arrange for another adult to watch other siblings or
with each sibling so that he or she knows not only that
choose a time when they’re gone. “Together” occasions
you value each opinion and you’re an unbiased listener.
could be: a movie, a walk, lunching at a favorite
Never compare schoolwork or competencies or athletic
restaurant, kite flying, an ice cream outing, or just time
behaviors or musical talents or…
alone. Then enjoy each other without siblings around–
Kids should compare their schoolwork, test scores, and
even if it’s just five minutes. Say; “This is our time.” MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 7
[ PARENTING ] Reinforce cooperative behavior Don’t overlook one of the simplest ways to boost sibling harmony: catch them supporting each other. The
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repeat the behaviors because they know that’s what you want them to do.
Now that you’ve learned the nine tips how will you use them to achieve long-term change? You might want to
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take a moment to write down exactly what promise you want to make to yourself and your family. For instance, which simple secret you will commit to doing within the next twenty-four hours to make a real difference in your family? Then don’t give up until you get the change you want.
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8 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
[ HEALTH ]
As the founder of Timeless Anti-Aging and Wellness Clinic, my mission was to create a pristine and soothing spa setting where one can let go of the worries of the world and enjoy the highest quality, clean skincare treatments and state-of-the-art procedures. As each person is unique, so is their skin and individual needs. You will benefit from a customized approach that is right for you. My mindset as a licensed PA-C is to enhance patients natural features in a subtle way. I value healthy skin and overall health. With 15 years of experience, I embrace an attitude of holistic wellness, where mind, body and soul are considered. Focusing on clean, whole foods and proper nutrition is important as well. Timeless Clinic provides safe, effective therapies that help you look and feel your best.
Time To Detox? by Amber Ross With our busy lives we seldom have time to slow down and eat, much less make sure it is nutrient dense and detoxifying. We are continually exposed to toxins: pesticides, chemicals, and pollutants that we ingest, breathe, and come across daily. A cleanse will remove these toxins and replenish you body from the nutritional deficiencies that today's food lack. Q: How often should I detox A: You should cleanse at least every 6-12 months, depending on your health and lifestyle. The Timeless Clinic Detox Cleanse that we use has 5 different cleanses to fit everyones lifestyle. The Weekend Cleanse, 3-Day cleanse, 7-Day cleanse, 14-Day cleanse, and the 21-day cleanse. Q: Diet vs Cleanse A: An overburdened liver innately produces body fat to store toxins that it cannot effectively eliminate in order protect the body from its harmful effects. Dieting alone does not address the issue of toxins and its effect on fat production. As the body sheds toxins, it no longer needs to hold on to fat, and sheds toxic weight as a result. Q: How does cleansing benefit the skin A: When toxins enter our cells they are not able to function correctly. Toxins cloud up the cells which creates dull heavy skin. A detox cleanse will stimulate a healthier environment for your skin and creates cellar renewal, rejuvenates and lightens the skin, and generates new collagen and elastin. MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9
[ TRAVEL ]
24-Hour Napa Getaway
by Elizabeth Kang
Photos courtesy of Senza Hotel
Hallelujah! The grandparents volunteered to take the kids overnight! Don’t settle for another hum drum dinner/movie date. Instead, head up to Napa for a real escape! We discovered a sexy and modern boutique hotel overlooking the vineyards, just steps away from a renowned restaurant and hip tasting room.
10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
[ TRAVEL ]
SATURDAY
4 p.m. Drop the kids off and get outta Dodge! Napa’s verdant valleys and winning wineries await, and they're only an hour’s easy drive away. 5 p.m. Check into SENZA Hotel. This sleek and modern hotel has a cozy, boutique feel, but is still appointed with all the luxurious amenities you’d expect at a larger resort. Heated floors, posh furnishings, in-room fireplaces, complimentary breakfast and private patios overlooking the vineyard all add up for a luxurious stay at a surprising value. SENZA Hotel is owned by Kathryn and Craig Hall (of the renowned HALL winery.) The winemaking couple purchased the property in 2006 and lovingly transformed it from a quaint Bed & Breakfast to the upscale, posh hotel it is today. 6 p.m. Wine and Cheese Hour. You do not want to miss SENZA’s nightly complimentary Wine and Cheese Hour (from 6-7 p.m.) located in the lobby. The cheese & charcuterie boards are absolutely stunning and very generous, and the hotel features tastings from a different winery nightly — a fantastic way to experience
a new winery without having to leave the hotel. A friendly hotel employee is present to pour and chat about the night’s featured wines. The wine and cheese hour is also a great time to take stroll around the property and explore the hotel’s impressive collection of outdoor art displays. 7 p.m. Stroll to dinner. Thanks to your hotel’s fantastic location, dinner at the famed Bistro Don Giovanni is only a five-minute stroll away. Reservations at this legendary, long-running Italian haunt are a must on a Saturday night, so if you didn’t get a chance to make one, be prepared to wait. The generous cocktails, homemade pastas, and authentic tiramisu are worth waiting for. 9 p.m. A nightcap. After an easy walk back to SENZA Hotel, take advantage of the cozy outdoor fire pit on property, or enjoy the privacy of your room’s own warming fireplace. Every room in the hotel is equipped with a large in-room fireplace and deep soaking tub — the makings of a very relaxing evening. The hotel offers a free bottle of Sauvignon Blanc with a YELP “check in,” MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11
[ TRAVEL ]
so your nightcap is covered.
SUNDAY 9:00 a.m. You’ll never miss the fact that SENZA Hotel doesn’t have an onsite restaurant, because they provide a generous, sumptuous breakfast spread every morning. The lavish buffet-style offerings include fresh pastries from the legendary Bouchon Bistro, delectable daily quiche, smoked salmon, seasonal fruit, gourmet coffee and a help-yourself mimosa station. Have a relaxing, leisurely breakfast in the cozy dining area, and help yourself to a daily newspaper. 11:00 a.m. Spaaaaaaah. Be sure to book your spa treatment at SENZA Hotel on the way up, as all services do require reservations. Enjoy an unwinding massage, luxurious facial or couple’s massage in their zen-like spa room. 12:30 p.m. Ashes & Diamonds Winery. This swanky newcomer is conveniently located within walking
distance, down the road from SENZA Hotel The service is welcoming, the wine and food is delicious, and the ambiance channels some impressive mid-centurymodern vibes. Interestingly, the winery is named after the 1958 Polish Nazi flick of the same name. You can opt for either a traditional tasting experience of four or six wines (including a delicious Cab Franc,) or you can experience a tasting and food pairing lunch. The lunch includes all six wines from the current release, plus a five-course food pairing of seasonal food prepared in-house. 2 p.m. More Tastings! Squeeze in one more tasting before you head back home, and explore some of the lesser-known (but no less delicious) tasting rooms in the immediate area. There are plenty of nearby wineries to choose from, all within a couple-minute’s drive, including Trefethen Family Vineyards, Laird Family Estate, O’Brien Estate, Black Stallion Winery, and many others.
[ TRAVEL ]
MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13
[ PARENTING ]
Jamee Tenzer is an Executive Coach, Trainer and Mentor. For the past 15 years she has been privileged to coach breadwinner moms and executives and to work internationally as a coach mentor and trainer. She has worked with leaders in many industries including; entertainment, non-profit and technology. In addition to serving as a Supervisor, Mentor and Trainer for the International Coach Academy from 2006 to 2015, she is also a trained mediator and the co-creator of three ICF Accredited courses for coaches; Deeper Conversations Coaching, Mentor Coach Certification and Real Coaching Sessions Unplugged. Jamee is a member of the International Coach Federation, Producers Guild of America and Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. She holds a CPC from the International Coach Academy, a PCC from the International Coach Federation and a BCC from the Center for Credentialing and Education. She is a committed im-perfectionist - her husband and three children can attest to this!
The Single Mom’s Recipe for Kicking Resentment to the Curb by Jamee Tenzer What have you done for me lately? You know the drill. Your son asks you to leave the office early to pick him up at basketball practice and run him over to his friend’s house where they will throw together the science project they should have started last month. It’s due tomorrow! And, he hates to ask, but he’d love it if you could be back in 90 minutes to run him over to school for the fall musical rehearsal. Did he tell you he got the lead role? No? Well he did and now he needs a ride. Lots of them, in fact. Isn’t that great? Oh and by the way, his feet grew a size since this morning and the new shoes you bought him for P.E. are too small. Can you buy some more in a bigger size? Thanks, Mom!
14 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
[ PARENTING ] Your reaction?
resentment is a part of daily life. Who needs it? It’s just as important to fill up your reserve tanks of good
Truthfully, it’s a confusing cocktail of joy, pride and
will, patience and energy as it is to be there when your
amazement with just a splash of stress and overwhelm
children need you. And yes, you can do both.
thrown in to keep things interesting. And you are happy once again, to belly up to the bar and throw back a few.
3 Steps to Keeping Resentment out of that Cocktail:
After all, he is your boy and you want to help him evolve into the wonderful person he is becoming.
1. The next time resentment darkens your door, take a moment to feel it fully. Getting familiar with it is the
So you kick into gear and perform some inter-office
best way to make sure you see it coming so you can
gymnastics that would put Nadia Comaneci to shame.
nip it in the bud.
You reschedule two meetings, eat lunch at your desk
2. Notice what your limits are and what your basic needs
and peel out of the office parking lot to pick him up with
are. Maybe you can go a week without going to
moments to spare.
the gym, but more than that and you begin to fray a bit around the edges. Perhaps you have the ability
Then a quick dash to the gym between science project
to miss a few episodes of your favorite show – but if
and fall musical, where you have time for a push up and
missing an entire season of Downton Abbey is going to
2 squats before running home to take a shower and eat
make you feel like you’re living in the 19th Century, it’s
dinner over the sink.
going to take more than loosening the strings on your corset to feel human again. Nip it in the bud.
And as you get back in the car to drive back to school
3. Explain your limits to your child BEFORE you’ve had
for the 3rd time in 5 hours, you ask yourself; “Is it worth it?”
so many cocktails laced with resentment you begin
The answer is a resounding yes.
to slur your words. Explain that you can run the gauntlet between school, science project and the fall
But now you are tired. Your work is piled up, you didn’t
production rehearsal today, but tomorrow you need
get a good workout and you haven’t had any time
to take some time for yourself.
to breathe. Plus the dog was not walked, the mail is unopened on the counter and if you don’t vacuum
Motherhood is a gift and a challenge. It forces us to
soon, you may drown in the cloud of dust bunnies that is
look at ourselves and to be more vulnerable than we
replicating under your bed.
ever expected was possible. What an opportunity to grow, learn and in so doing, help our child find their own
Now is the time that a bit of resentment can find its way
balance.
into that confusing cocktail. After all your child will need to kick resentment to the If you spend too many days like this, you will find
curb one day too. Why not learn it from the master? MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15
[ ENTER TAINMENT ]
Paola
Fraschini
– Roller Skater, VOLTA by Cirque du Soleil by Isabella, Olivia, Emma & Ava Vollgraf
Q: When you were little, what did you want to be when you grew up? A: I wanted to be a dancer...and actually a hairdresser! Then when I was around 15, I started to want to be an actress. Now in VOLTA, I'm a character and I can combine acting with skating so it’s a dream come true! Q: Did you take gymnastics as a kid or play other sports? A: When I was a kid, I spent so many hours in the rink. I trained different specialties in roller skating: dance and artistic (couple) and dance and artistic (individual). Then I specialized in dance individual and couple. I also practiced a bit of dance and ski. Q: Where did you grow up? A: I am from Genova, Italy. Q: What is your favorite sport? A: I should say Roller Skating! But I also love dance and yoga! Q: What do you do for Cirque? What character do you play and what do you do in the show? A: I’m a roller skater and I play one of the main character: Ela. Ela is part of the characters called the Free Spirits. She is very important in the show as she is the person who will teach self-acceptance to the main character, Waz. The message she shares with him is that it’s OK to be himself and that his difference makes him unique and beautiful. Q: How often do your travel each year? A: I travel a lot! We present shows in about six cities per year, so I travel a minimum of six or seven times each year! Q: Do you like to travel? A: I absolutely love it! Q: How long have you been with Cirque? A: I started in 2016. Q: What age were you when you started performing for Cirque? A: It was 2 years ago, I was 32. 16 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
[ ENTER TAINMENT ] Q: Other than Volta, what other Cirque shows have you performed in? A: I’ve taken part in numerous exhibitions and competitions around the world. Q: How did you learn to do the things you do in the show? A: I skated all my life! I did a lot of competitions, but to skate in the little stage took time for me. So, I actually had to change certain moves and to create a new way to dance on skates. Q: Do you have kids?? A: I don’t yet! Q: Is everyone friends who are in the show together? A: Not only are we friends, but we have become a big family! We spend so much time on the road together that all the artists become brothers and sisters. Q: Do you have family in the business? A: I don't have family in the circus but my mom was my coach. Q: How long will you stay in the business? A: I don't know yet, but I would like to improve my acting skills and to become an artistic director one day. Q: How does someone become a Cirque performer?
A: Cirque du Soleil scouts the world looking for the best and most unique talents in various disciplines. A lot of artists will also send videos to the company to propose numbers. It’s all about believing in yourself and in your dreams! If you like to do something, keep doing it! Nothing is impossible. Q: How old is the youngest performer in the show? A: 19 years old. Q: What is your favorite thing about being involved with Cirque? A: Being part of VOLTA is a dream that comes true. I always wanted to bring roller skating outside of the competitions and I'm glad to be a pioneer of this! I’ve also always wanted to be an actor and VOLTA gives me the occasion to combine two of my passions: acting and skating! Q: Any secrets about the show you can share? A: VOLTA is a show that families and kids will truly love! On top of sharing a positive message of self-acceptance, it’s the first Cirque du Soleil to incorporate a full BMX park on stage! One of the most touching number is the duo between a ballerina and a Flatland BMX where the mother teaches her son to ride his bike for the first time! I can also tell you that you will laugh a lot, especially when you see what washing machine troubles our clown, Mr. Wow, will get himself into!
MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 17
[ PARENTING ]
Katie Hurley, LCSW, is a child and adolescent psychotherapist and author of The Happy Kid Handbook. Her work can be found on EverydayFamily, Momtastic, mom.me, Yahoo Parenting, PBS Parents and The Huffington Post. Katie writes the parenting blog, Practical Parenting. Katie splits her time between Los Angeles and the Connecticut coast with her rock and roll husband and their two happy children. For more stress reduction techniques and strategies to empower children to live happy lives, check out Katie’s new book, The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World.
5 Phrases (And 1 Question) to Help Your Tween Daughter Through the Hard Stuff by Katie Hurley, LCSW I’ve worked with a lot of tween girls over the past 18 years. They end up in my office for various reasons (I specialize in anxiety, stress, self-esteem, and learning differences), but, more often than not, we end up talking about the pressure that exists for young girls today. On the one hand, girls have tons of opportunities at their fingertips. Options are everywhere. Name an area of interest and you can find a class or program to hone those skills and follow that dream! In some ways, that’s a very good thing. Girls who don’t want to play traditional sports, for example, find other cool sports and activities. Girls who want to skip organized sports altogether
18 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
[ PARENTING ] seek out other outlets to connect with other kids and
processing that resentment and other negative emotions
follow their passions. That’s the good news.
build up.
On the other hand, the stakes feel very high. Girls tell me
They are growing and changing at a rapid pace, and
that the pressure to “be the best” and “rise to the top”
the world around them is full of conflicting and often
is almost suffocating. Some consider quitting sports and
confusing messages. They are entitled to a few bad days
other activities because they feel like there’s no point in
and rocky moments!
doing those things for the fun of it – they’re expected to succeed. They also talk about the competition between
5 Phrases that help tweens
girls and how it negatively impacts their friendships.
What they don’t want is a pep talk every time they express their emotions or share their tough stuff. What
Yes, relational aggression continues to be a problem in
they need is support. I like to go to the source, and I
the life of girls, and they don’t know how to manage the
suggest that you open that dialogue with your tween
stress of friendship troubles coupled with the stress of
(see below.) All girls are different, and a phrase that
rising to the top. It’s a lot.
helps one might annoy another. The following phrases, however, come up over and over again:
“Move on” Tween girls go through some tough stuff. They need to
“I’m here for you.”
get those feelings and out and talk about the ups and
Sounds simple, right? I can’t tell you how many girls tell
downs of girlhood. The problem is…they’re not sure
me they just want their parents to say these words. They
where to turn. Tweens have a tendency to be pleasers
don’t want corrections. They don’t want to be quizzed on
at times, and many go to great lengths to show their
what went wrong. They just want you to be there. They
parents and other adults in their lives that they can
want to hear that they’re not alone.
handle everything on their own. They also hear a lot of, “move on” messages from the adults in their lives. Thing
“I’m listening.”
thing is, it’s really hard to “move on” when you’ve had a
One the biggest complaints among young girls right now
terrible day (or week, or month.)
is that they feel like parents are only ever half listening.
I’ve asked girls to share their least favorite responses from
I’m guilty of looking down when I should look up at times;
adults over the years. Below is a small sample:
I get it. But this age range marks a critical period of selfesteem development. They need 1:1 time with us that
“Everybody goes through this.”
includes tuning out the rest of the world so that we can
“Don’t be so dramatic.”
tune in to them.
“You’ll be fine.” “Move on and find new friends.”
Studies show that self-esteem begins to dip for girls as
“Don’t worry; it’s no big deal.”
early as age 9, with an average age of dip occurring at 11, and doesn’t make a comeback until later
Why these phrases hurt
adolescence.
Tween girls tend to be highly social beings. They’re learning to gain independence and find their tribes.
Listening, really listening, makes a difference. Girls often
When the tribe fails them in some way (even if they
tell me that they feel like their parents only listen enough
played a role in that failure), it hurts very deeply.
to respond. What they want is for parents to sit back and let them talk their way through their big feelings.
Sometimes tweens internalize feelings. Sometimes
“I’m proud of you.”
they make assumptions based on limited information. Sometimes they react before they’ve had time to
We’re all proud of our kids. But do we all communicate
process, while other times they spend so much time
that feeling to our kids regularly? Parents get so focused MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19
[ PARENTING ] on results (grades, goals, scores) that they forget to talk
because we want to raise caring and compassionate
about the little things that make them proud (acts of
kids. But then we turn around and minimize their
kindness, helping someone in need). Your girls need to
concerns when they share them.
hear this. Regularly. I find that most parents do this so that their girls won’t “That sounds hard.”
worry too much or get overly upset about what the
The benefit of being an adult is that adults have excellent
parents consider small bumps in the road. It comes
hindsight. Adults know what mistakes they made and
from a good place. The problem is that girls’ problems
how to fix everything for their kids! One small problem:
feel very real and very big to them. When they feel
Your tween is not you, and she needs to work through her
overwhelmed and unsure, minimizing their problems only
own ups and downs. Instead of running in for the save
leaves them feeling isolated.
with a point-by-point plan to solve the dilemma, try this simple phrase. It will open the door to communication
It also causes them to shut down.
and might even inspire your daughter to seek you out for help another time.
Parenting with empathy and communicating that you understand helps build a strong connection and
“I understand.”
encourages your daughter to seek help from you in the
Parents and other adults talk to kids about empathy
future.
fairly regularly these days (I hope so, anyway.) We do this One important question When I ask girls what they need or want from their
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Bonus Tip: Talking can be really hard for tweens. Sometimes they don’t know how or where to begin. A parent-child journal is a great way to communicate without the tension that can emerge when sitting face-to-face. Give it a try!
20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
Time To Take Care of You! Are you guilty of taking care of everyone始s needs while neglecting your own? When is the last time you始ve pampered yourself, had a manicure, went to the salon? Are you desperate for a new, updated look, or perhaps a shopping spree and an overnight date with your significant other? Sound amazing? It始s time to recharge and renew! In honor of Mother始s Day and all Mothers who work continuously to care for others, we are launching our Mommy Makeover contest!
Nominate Someone or Nominate Yourself! Send us a note explaining why you or someone you know deserves a makeover. Include a few current pictures of yourself and the city you reside in. Email your entries to: info@activefamilymag.com and keep an eye out for more information and ways to enter on our Facebook @activefamilymag and our Instagram @activefamilymagazine.
[ EVENTS ]
March Alameda County MARCH 1 Come Together: The Beatles Concert Tribute Bankhead Theater Livermore 8:00pm lvpac.org Super Trouper: The ABBA Concert Hoffman Theatre Walnut Creek 8:00p lesherartscenter.showare.com Animal Feeding Ardenwood Historic Farm Fremont 3:00 pm - 3:30 pm apm.activecommunities.com/ ebparks/Activity_Search/24228 Storytime Pajama Party! Children’s Discovery Museum of San Jose 180 Woz Way San Jose 6:00 pm – 8:30 pm $20/person for Non-Members $5/person for Members www.cdm.org/event/family-nightstorytime-pajama-party/
MARCH 2 1st Annual VFW Battle of the Bands Featuring MVHS & SRV! Veterans Memorial Building 400 Hartz Ave Danville 6:00 p.m. – 9:00 p.m. $30 0 purchase tickets at: montevista.revtrak.net/anyamount-donation#/list Old-Fashioned Fun Ardenwood Historic Farm Fremont 11:3-am – 12:30pm apm.activecommunities.com/ ebparks/Activity_Search/24628
22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
MARCH 2 & 3
MARCH 14
Family Coach Sean Donohue Community Presbyterian Church Danville Saturday, March 2 at 5pm Sunday, March 3 at 9am & 10:45am www.cpcdanville.org
The Self Driven Child Speaker Event with Author William Stuxrud California High School Theater San Ramon 7:00pm – 9:00pm events.r20.constantcontact.com/ register/event?oeidk=a07eg07wyxq 22fc9c01&llr=xjw9kijab
MARCH 3 Family Pancake Breakfast Civic Park Community Center – Social Hall 1375 Civic Dr. Walnut Creek 9:00am – 12:00pm www.walnut-creek.org Livermore Half Marathon & Downtown Festival First Street & S. Livermore Ave. Livermore 7:30am – 1:00pm www.livermorevalleyhalf.com
MARCH 6 & 7 Daniel Tiger’s Neighborhood, King for a Day Oakland & San Jose Shows Various Times www.danieltigerbayarea.com
MARCH 16 St. Patrick's Day Brew Crawl 2019 Pleasanton 5:00pm – 8:00pm Tickets starting $40 www.pleasantondowntown.net/ event
Contra Costa County MARCH 2 & 16 Snow White and the 7 Dwarfs Children’s Theatre Assoc. of SF Fort Mason Center for Arts & Culture San Francisco www.ctasf.org
MARCH 30 & 31
The Emperor’s New Clothes Lesher Theater Walnut Creek 9:30am lesherartscenter.showare.com
Messy Art Fest Bay Area Discovery Museum Sausalito Saturday and Sunday, March 30 and 31 9 am – 5 pm www.bayareadiscoverymuseum.org
MARCH 9
MARCH 5
World Cultural Fair Saturday, March 9, 2019 Bankhead Theater, 2400 First Street Livermore 1:00pm - 3:00pm
Hikes for Tykes Lake Chabot, Lafayette-Moraga Trail Lafayette and Moraga 10:30 am - 11:45 am apm.activecommunities.com/ ebparks/Activity_Search/24144
MARCH 7 -10
MARCH 9 DLUX Puppets: Alice in Wonderland Firehouse Arts Center Pleasanton 11am and 2pm www.firehousearts.org
[ EVENTS ]
March MARCH 8 – MARCH 17
MARCH 23
Cinderella (Broadway version) Firehouse Arts Center Pleasanton Fridays & Saturdays • 7:30pm Sundays • 2pm
The Great and Glorius Mr. Toad Dell Valle Theatre Times Vary lesherartscenter.showare.com
MARCH 16
MARCH 22-23
The 36th Annual Dublin Lions Club St. Patrick's Day Parade Dowtntown Dublin 9:30am dublin.ca.gov/869/Dublin-LionsClub-Parade
Diablo Ballet’s Once Upon a Time Hoffman Theatre Walnut Creek Time Vary lesherartscenter.showare.com
MARCH 16 & 17
MARCH 26-28
St. Patrick’s Day Festival 100 Civic Plaza Dublin 10:00am – 5:00pm dublin.ca.gov/873/FestivalHighlights
Shrek the Musical San Ramon High School Theater Danville 7:00pm, Friday matinee at 3:30pm on March 29th
SATURDAY, MARCH 16 Farm Chores For Littles Tilden Nature Area Berkeley 10:30am- 11:00am apm.activecommunities.com/ ebparks/Activity_Search/24311
SUNDAY, MARCH 17 Blarney Stones, Shamrocks and Rainbows Big Break Visitor Center at the Delta 69 Big Break Road, Oakley 10:00am-1:00pm apm.activecommunities.com/ ebparks/Activity_Search/23981 FREE
MARCH 22 - MARCH 31 Junie B. Jones The Musical JR. Firehouse Arts Center Pleasanton Fridays • 7:30 pm Saturdays • 2 pm & 7:30 pm Sundays • 2 pm www.firehousearts.org
Email info@activefamilymag.com to subscribe to our weekly email blast for more events!
MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23
[ MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIPS ]
Christine Carter, Ph.D.*, is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of “RAISING HAPPINESS: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.” She teaches online happiness classes that help parents bring more joy into their own lives and the lives of their children, and she writes an award-winning blog for *Greater Good* (www.greatergoodparents.org).
How to Ditch the Drama in Your Relationships by Christine Carter, Ph.D. “You are unimaginably cruel. I could never have done something like that to you.” One of my clients—we’ll call her Sara—received that in a nasty text from her ex-husband, who was angry because their daughter, a young adult, had excluded him from a milestone event. Instead of confronting their daughter, the ex-husband was pinning his daughter’s actions on Sara. Understandably, the accusation consumed Sara. Even when we aren’t provoked by such high-emotion personal conflict, these days it’s hard to escape the daily dramas playing out all around us. Personal dramas are served to us via text and email—and if our own lives are peaceful, we need look no further than Twitter for President Trump’s conflicts, or our smartphones for the latest metaphorical (or literal) trainwreck.
24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
[ MARRIAGE & RELATIONSHIPS ] Most of us are, at the very least, distracted by drama. Despite our best intentions, we have trouble looking away. Biologically, we are hardwired to love the novelty, stimulation, and social information that a constant feed of drama provides. But the 24/7 drama isn’t pointing us towards meaningful lives. And it keeps us from the stillness and reflection and deep conversation that make our lives meaningful. There is another problem with drama. Having a constant source of it leads us, unknowingly, to take on disempowering roles in our own lives, roles that hurt our relationships and foster feelings of powerlessness, shame, and superiority. How does that happen? In 1968, a psychologist named Stephen Karpman developed a social model, the “Karpman Drama Triangle,” to map the dysfunctional behavior we predictably display when we get sucked into interpersonal drama. Karpman recognized how entertaining and addictive our relationship conflicts could be—despite being psychologically harmful. Karpman teaches that there tend to be three roles in a conflict, hence the formation of a triangle: 1. The first and most familiar role is the victim. This is not an actual victim, mind you; it’s just someone who feels like they are being victimized, or someone who is acting like they are being persecuted. Victims often feel oppressed and helpless. Deep down, they tend to feel shame. They are often self-pitying. They act as though they are powerless, and as such are often our neediest (and most toxic and draining) friends and relatives. 2. Victims typically identify a persecutor, someone whom they believe is victimizing them. Persecutors are made out to be controlling and critical. When we take on the role of persecutor ourselves, often we act angry, rigid, and superior. 3. Every victim has a rescuer who works diligently to save them from mistreatment. Although it can feel good to play a rescuing role—because attempting to help others can make us feel good—rescuers don’t really help. Although their intentions may be good, they are the ultimate enablers, keeping victims stuck in their roles as victims.
All of these roles are tempting because they give us a sense of power (even if it is false power). Victims get to claim innocence, they gain the doting attention of their rescuer, and they avoid taking responsibility for their own lives and their own outcomes. Persecutors get to sit in the power seat, feeling superior. Rescuers feel righteous anger and empathy, and so they also get to feel superior to both the victim and the persecutor. And while rescuers avoid the negative shadow that hangs over victims and persecutors, the rescuer role is not healthy, either, because focusing on someone else’s conflicts is usually an excuse to ignore their own problems. Rescuers usually have a stake in keeping the victim feeling helpless and weak. In the end, the rescuer keeps the victim feeling like a victim by giving them permission to avoid changing or taking responsibility for their own lives. These roles are so ingrained in our cultural milieu that we don’t even see them; we just seamlessly (and unconsciously) step into them. But they are like junk food, providing only temporary stimulation and a quick shot in the arm of power, leaving us weaker in the long run. So, what can we do instead of taking on these dysfunctional roles? 1. Don’t engage When Sara got that nasty text from her ex-husband, he was playing a victim role, while making Sara the persecutor. (He had engaged a mutual friend as a rescuer, who was also texting Sara, encouraging her to help her ex repair his relationship with his daughter). Sara needed reminding that getting involved in a drama like this is always a choice. One option was to just ignore her ex-husband’s nasty text, or opt to send her exhusband straight to the source, telling him to please talk to their daughter directly. And then Sara could silence the text conversation on her phone. 2. Question the prevailing beliefs Having been pinned as a villain, Sara understandably had a hard time not engaging. She felt that ignoring the texts coming in by the dozen would only make her ex-husband more justified in his anger. She wanted to defend herself against his unfair accusations. More than that, though, Sara felt truly sad for her exMARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25
[ RELATIONSHIPS ] husband, even though she understood (and supported)
• Persecutors can become, or be seen as, challengers.
her daughter’s actions. Sara really felt her ex-husband’s
Persecutors are people (or situations) that force the
hurt, and she wanted to help him, or at least soothe his
victim (now a creator) to clarify their needs, and
pain. She wanted to intervene, even though she’d never
focus on their own learning and personal growth.
been successful in doing so in the past.
Challengers always tell the truth, even when it is painful.
Perhaps the most important stress-reduction tactic that
• Rescuers can become coaches. The key difference
anyone has ever taught me is not to believe everything
between a rescuer and a coach is that the coach
I think. For Sara to stay out of the Karpman Drama Triangle, she would have to question her belief that things would get better if she tried to fix the situation—if she swapped her persecutor role for a rescuing one. I find The Work of Byron Katie, whose simple strategies are
sees the creator as capable of making choices and of solving their own problems. A coach asks questions that help the creator to see the possibilities for positive action, and to focus on what they do want instead of what they do not want.
similar to cognitive behavioral therapy, works well when we need to question our thoughts and assumptions.
In this case, Sara was a lot less tempted to engage in the conflict when she questioned the assumption that her involvement would actually help. She came to see that her involvement would actually create more distance between her ex and their daughter.
Sara ultimately decided not to try to protect her exhusband from the truth by making excuses for their daughter, nor did she try to placate him with pictures from the event. By telling the truth, she’d become a challenger instead of a persecutor. And by refusing to soothe and placate, she declined to be a rescuer, even though this made her ex very angry.
3. Take on a different role in the conflict We can also always shift the role we are playing in a conflict from a dysfunctional one to a constructive one.
She did offer to take on a coaching role, by asking her ex what type of relationship he wanted with their daughter, and then asking him how he might take steps to get
• Victims can become creators. Instead of succumbing
there—but he wasn’t actually looking for coaching or to
to the temptation to wallow in the unfairness of it
create a new relationship with their daughter. In the end,
all, we can go from problem-oriented to outcome-
because he wasn’t getting what he wanted out of Sara,
oriented. What is it that we want to gain in this situation
he kicked her out of his drama triangle, leaving her alone
or relationship? When we take responsibility for the role
in peaceful silence.
we play in challenging situations, and for our lives, we trade the false power of victimhood for the real power
For Sara, that silence was a blissful ending to a painful
that comes from creating the life we want.
conflict.
26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]
A P P LY N OW !
St. Isidore Catholic School is the East Bay's largest Catholic TK-8 elementary school - dedicated to an educational experience that cultivates knowledge, leadership, and service. Submit your application online at www.stisidore.org. New Student Testing for grades 1-8 will be held on Thursday, March 14th at 3:30pm. Call 925.837.2977 to RSVP.
MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27
[ TRAVEL ]
28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
[ TRAVEL ]
HOTEL SPOTLIGHT The Clift Royal Sonesta Hotel
by Elizabeth Kang
Posh, hipster hotels are a dime a dozen in San Francisco, but in a city with so much interesting history and eclectic character, why not stay somewhere that parallels that rich past? In that respect, The Clift Royal Sonesta Hotel stands alone. This historic hotel is located two blocks from Union Square at the intersection of Geary Street and Taylor Street, in San Francisco, California.
MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29
[ TRAVEL ]
A HISTORIC PAST In the past 100-plus years since The Clift has been open, it’s seen numerous renovations and changes of ownership, but its elegance and character has remained intact. The hotel opened in 1915, under the ownership of Frederick C. Clift, an attorney who inherited the plot of land where the hotel stands today. The architect of the original 300-room hotel was the same man who designed the Palace of the Legion of Honor — Mr. George Applegarth. The hotel became renowned as the largest hotel in California at the time, and it also garnered fame from its claim as being the first hotel in San Francisco to be both fire and earthquake proof. The Clift Royal Sonesta also boasts being the first US property owned by The Four Seasons Hotel franchise, which purchased the hotel in 1976, and thus the hotel was renamed The Four Seasons Clift Hotel in 1978. Since then, the property has been bought, sold, and renamed a few more times, and has undergone a huge $50 million dollar renovation by famed interior designer Philippe Starck, re-opening on August 3, 2001. Thanks to Starck, the hotel boasts an eclectic and notable furniture collection that includes chairs from Ray and Charles Eames, and furniture by Salvador Dalí.
ELEGANT AMENITIES The Clift Royal Sonesta Hotel is elegant, no doubt, but it has a certain eclectic charm that adds interest and individuality, and makes the hotel stand apart from its neighbors. The Clift captures that elusive classy, yet bohemian spirit that San Francisco is so well-known for. From its unconventional, yet fashionable lobby furniture to its soothing but still charismatic guest rooms, the hotel ensures a memorable and comfortable stay. 30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
[ TRAVEL ]
Comfort is a priority at The Clift, where guest rooms are decorated in soft, soothing colors of ivory and gray, with pops of pretty oranges and lavender — said to mimic the colors of a California sunset. Archictect Philippe Starck was inspired by the California Gold Rush when he designed the guest room’s wooden wheelbarrow lounge chairs. Amenities include 300-thread count bedding, imported Merino wool throw blankets, pillow-top beds, complimentary newspapers, minibar, premium toiletries, plush robes, in-room safes, decorative Venetian Murano glass fixtures, and stunning city views. MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31
[ TRAVEL ] Guest rooms range in size from a roughly 300-square-foot King room to a 1,175-squarefoot private apartment, with many choices in-between. The Clift also offers guests use of complimentary bicycles during their stay, valet service, access to a 24-hour business center and a 24-hour fitness center. In-room massages are available, upon request, and the hotel is dog-friendly, as well. Babysitting services, dry-cleaning services, and turndown services are all available upon request.
DINING WITH CHARACTER REDWOOD ROOM One of the oldest bars in SF, the historic Redwood Room has entertained many Bay Area locals throughout the years, opening in 1934. The Redwood Room is named after its 2,000-year-old redwood slab bar, and has been renovated to the upscale, modern and elegant space that it is today. The bar attracts clientele of all walks, including club-goers, date-night lovers, and curious tourists. Enjoy small bites with sophisticated cocktails. VELVET ROOM A casual, delicious breakfast in an elegant setting is what you can expect at the Velvet Room. Guests can choose from breakfast à la carte or breakfast buffet, daily. Healthy options abound, with organic raw fresh juices, organic steel cut oatmeal, and organic omelets. Decadent options are just as tempting; Banana Bread French Toast, Smoked Salmon Benedict, and classic morning cocktails with a twist (Blood Orange Mimosa.) A children’s menu is offered, as well. LIVING ROOM The Living Room is the ideal setting to relax and people watch, with cozy, plush seating, 32 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
[ TRAVEL ]
soft lighting, and the ambiance of an austere English club room. Sip on aged whisky, a local wine, or perhaps an after-dinner cordial. (In-Room Dining is also offered, with options ranging from a full-course dinner to light morning pastry and coffee.)
COMMITMENT TO SUSTAINABILITY In 2015, The Clift was awarded the Good Earthkeeping Award by California Hotel & Lodging Association, and their commitment to reducing their carbon footprint is remains admirable. One of the hotel’s most endearing eclectic charms is their rooftop bee sanctuary, where local beekeeper Roger Garrison looks after maintaining the hives. The resulting honey is lovingly served in craft cocktails and seasonal dishes at The Clift. The hotel encourages guests to help the cause by giving the option to forgo housekeeping (if staying two or more nights) by placing a designated door hanger on their guest-room door. Guests who choose this option will be thanked with a $15 food and beverage voucher for each day of their stay. MARCH 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 33
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Spanish Immersion Classes & Camps Engaging curriculum uses music, art & games
Experienced, dynamic teachers Ages toddlers to teens Small class sizes
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34 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
t h a t FITS!
Summer EXPLORE! Stratford @ EXCEL! ENGAGE! Stay Curious.
Stay Sharp.
Keep Discovering.
Discover where the Extraordinary begins Stratford School infuses its STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, and Math) curriculum into an innovative and enriching summer camp experience for children in Preschool through Middle School.
WE S
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*Preschool State License Numbers: 073402482, 073406680, 013420588, 013423042, 434404890, 434413440, 434410816, 434408056, 013420939, 414004014, 384001837, 384004006, 434407977, 434408877, 434410807, 434404336, 434406722. Copyright © 2019 Stratford Schools, Inc. .
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[ SUMMER CAMP ]
ZOOCAMP Affordable Family Vacations at Lake Tahoe
Family Camp Sessions: June 22 through July 14 & July 30 through Aug 12
REGISTRATION OPENS MARCH 19 oaklandzoo.org
campconcord.org ● (925) 671-3006
Summer @ Stratford
Discover where the Extraordinary begins Stratford School infuses its STEAM (Science, Technology, Engineering, Arts, and Math) curriculum into an innovative and enriching summer camp experience for children in Preschool through Middle School.
Camp Sessions June 18 – August 10
ALL NEW!
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36 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
SCH
Preschool State License Numbers: 073402482, 013417816, 013420588, 434404890, 434408056, 434407977, 434404336, 434406722, 434408877, 384001837, 434410807, 434410816, 073406680, 013420939, 414004014, 434413440. Copyright © 2018 Stratford Schools, Inc.
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[ SUMMER CAMP Programs available at
A traditional summer camp experience
Celebrating
20 Years
925.937.6500 • Adventuredaycamp.com
]
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Summer Alameda County ALAMEDA Alameda School of Music 1307 High St. 510.769.0195 www.alamusic.org
Camp Bladium 800 West Tower Ave 510.814.4999 www.bladiumalameda.com/ youth-kids/kids-camps
BERKELEY Music Discovery Workshop 2005 Berryman St. 510.528.1725 www.sfems.org
St. John’s Camp Elmwood 2727 College Ave. 510.845.6830 www.stjohnsberkeley.org/ campelmwood
Sticky Art Lab 1682 University Ave. 510.981.1148 www.stickyartlab.com
City of Dublin 100 Civic Plaza 925.556.4500 www.ci.dublin.ca.us
Young Writers Camp UC Berkeley Campus 510.642.0971
Valley Christian School 7500 Inspiration Dr. 925.560.6270
www.bawpwritingcamp.org
www.ValleyChristianSchools.org
Green Stuff Summer Camp UC Berkeley Botanical Gardens 510.643.4832
Edge Gymnastics Training Center 6780 Sierra Court St. K 925.479.9904
www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu
www.edge-gymnastics.com
Lawrence Hall of Science UC Berkeley 510.642.5134
Kidz Kraftz Quail Creek Cir. 925.271.0015
www.lawrencehallofscience.org
www.kidzkraftz.com/camps
BERKELEY/ECHO LAKE
Tri-Valley YMCA 6693 Sierra Ln 925.263.4444
Berkeley Echo Lake Camp Lot #7 Echo Lakes Rd 530.659.7539 www.cityofberkeley.info/camps
CASTRO VALLEY Skye Valley Training Camp 10250 Crow Canyon Rd 925.858.8825 www.psi.lunariffic.com/~skyev0/
Sarah’s Science 21525 Knoll Way 510.581.3739 www.sarahscience.com
Camp Kee Tov 1301 Oxford St. 510.842.2372 www.campkeetov.org
Bee Best Learning 20394 San Miguel Ave. 510.728.2110 www.beebestlearning.com
Habitot 2065 Kittredge St. 510.647.1111 ext. 14 www.habitot.org/museum/ activities_camps.html
Monkey Business Camp 2880A Sacramento St. 510.540.6025
www.trivalley.ymcaeastbay.org
Extended Day Child Care 8435 Davona Dr. 925.829.4043 & 7997 Vomac Rd. 925.551.8170 7243 Tamarack Dr. 925.833.0127 & 5301 Hibernia Dr. 925.803.4154 & 3300 Antone Way 925.826.5538 www.extendeddaychildcare.com
Quarry Lane School 6363 Tassajara Rd. 925.829.8000
DUBLIN
www.quarrylane.org
East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 4651 Gleason Dr. 925.479.9670
FREMONT
www.eastbayspca.org/camp
www.monkeybusinesscamp.com
38 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2019
Learning Bee Summer Camp 39977 Mission Blvd. 510.226.8408 www.learningbeeusa.com
Ohlone for Kids 43600 Mission Blvd. 510.659.6000 www.ohlone.edu/org/ ohloneforkids
HAYWARD Hayward Area Recreation Park District (H.A.R.D.) Day Camps 510.881.6700 www.haywardrec.org
LIVERMORE Horizons East Equestrian Center 5111 Doolan Rd. 925.960.9696 www.showstables.com
Roy’s Magic Camp 2466 8th St. 925.455.0600 www.magiccamp.org
Camp Arroyo Taylor Family Foundation 5535 Arroyo Rd. 925.371.8401 www.ebparks.org/activities/ daycamps/parks_camp_arroyo
Saddle to Ride Topline Training, Inc. 4180 Greenville Rd. 925.858.3933 www.saddle2ride.com
Xtreme Force Dance Company 847 Rincon Ave. 925.455.6054 www.xtremeforcedanceco.com
Double Diamond Sports Academy 2272 Research Dr. 925.830.9765 www. doublediamondsportsacademy. com
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Camps Valley Montessori 1273 N. Livermore Ave. 925.455.8021
MOCHA Summer Camp 1625 Clay St. 510.465.8770
Contra Costa County
www.valleymontessorischool.com
www.mocha.org
OAKLAND
PLEASANTON
Lakeshore Children’s Center 3534 Lakeshore Ave. 510.893.4048
Gingerbread Preschool 4333 Black Ave. 925.931.3430
City of Antioch Parks and Recreation 213 “F” St 925.776.7070
www.lakeshorechildrenscenter.org
www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us/services/ recreation/gb/gbhome.html
Urban Adventure Camp 5701 Cabot Dr. 510.339.0676 www.urbanadventurecamps.com
Extended Day Child Care 5199 Black Ave. 925.846.5519 www.extendeddaychildcare.com
East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 8323 Baldwin St. 510.569.0702 www.eastbayspca.org/camp
Quarry Lane School - East 3750 Boulder St. 925.846.9400 www.quarrylane.org
California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 4660 Harbord Dr. 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html
Oakland Summer ZooCamp 9777 Golf Links Rd. 510.632.9525 www.oaklandzoo.org
Lake Merritt Boating Center Youth Boating Camps 568 Bellevue Ave. 510.238.2196 www.sailoakland.com
Raskob Learning Institute 3520 Mountain Blvd. 510.436.1275 www.raskobinstitute.org
Kids N’ Dance 3840 Macarthur Blvd. 510.531.4400 www.kidsndance.com
Quarry Lane School - West 4444B Black Ave. 925.462.6300 www.quarrylane.org
ANTIOCH
www.ci.antioch.ca.us/Recreation
Four Stars Gymnastics Academy 1799 Vineyard Dr. 925.778.8650 www.fourstarsgym.com
CONCORD City of Concord Parks and Recreation 925.671.3404 www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps
Camp Concord in South Lake Tahoe 1000 Mt. Tallac Trailhead Rd South Lake Tahoe 530.541.1203
Yang Fan Academy 4160 Hacienda Dr. St. 100 925.699.4664
www.ci.concord.ca.us/recreation/ camp
www.yfacademy.org
Backyard Explorers Corner of Babel Ln & Cowell Rd. 925.671.3118
City of Pleasanton Summer Programs 200 Old Bernal Ave. 925.931.3436
DANVILLE City of Danville Camps 420 Front St. 925.314.3400 www.danville.ca.gov/Recreation/ Camps
Vision Tech Camps 117 Town & Country Dr. St. B 925.699.9602 www.visiontechcamps.com
Athenian Summer Programs at Athenian School 2100 Mt. Diablo Scenic Blvd 925.837.5375 www.athenian.org
Color Bundles 301 Hartz Ave. #104 925.727.3137 www.colorbundles.com
Camp Brainy Bunch 741 Brookside Dr. 510.548.4800 www.campbrainybunch.com
Quest Therapeutic Camps Charlotte Wood Middle School 600 El Captain Dr. 925.743.2900 www.questcamps.com
www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps/backyardexp.htm
www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us
Expressions Dance & Art 3015 Hopyard Rd. Ste. I 925.200.9908 www.expressions-dance-arts.com/
Young Ivy Academy 5460 Sunol Blvd (#3) 925.548.0188 www.youngivyacademy.com
Inspire Music Academy 2340 Santa Rita Rd. Ste. 7 925.461.3266 www.inspiremusicacademy.com
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[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Summer LAFAYETTE California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 1000 Upper Happy Valley Rd 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html
Kids N’ Dance 3369 Mt. Diablo 925.284.7388 www.kidsndance.com
Sienna Ranch 3232 Deer Hill Rd. 925.283.6311 www.siennaranch.net
Sherman Swim School 1075 Carol Ln. 925.283.2100 www.shermanswim.com
www.frenchforfun.com
Lafayette Tennis Club 3125 Camino Diablo 925.937.2582 www.lafayettetennis.com
Husky House for Kids 3855 Happy Valley Rd. 925.283.7100 www.huskyhouseforkids.org/ summer-camp-programs
Lafayette Community Center Camps 500 Saint Mary’s Rd. 925.284.2232 www.lafayetterec.org
Roughing It Day Camp 1010 Oak Hill Rd. 925.283.3795 www.roughingit.com
BandWorks Summer Camp 28 Orinda Way 925.254.2445 www.bandworks.com/summer_ orinda.php
Orinda Academy 19 Altarinda Rd. 925.478.4504
Camp ARF for Kids 2890 Mitchell Dr. 925.256.1273 www.youth.arf.net
City of Walnut Creek Summer Camps 1666 North Main St. 925.943.5899 www.walnut-creek.org
Merriewood Children’s Center 561 Merriewood Dr. 925.284.2121
www.orindaacademy.org
Camp Doodle 66 St. Stephens Dr.
Castle Rock Arabians 1350 Castle Rock Rd. 925.933.3701
www.merriewood.org
www.campdoodles.com
www.castlerockarabians.com
MARTINEZ
PLEASANT HILL
John Muir Mountain Day Camp John Muir National Historic Site 925.680.8807
City of Pleasant Hill Camps 147 Gregory Ln 925.682.0896
Multiple Locations
www.johnmuirassociation.org/ muircamp/index.php
French For Fun 3381 Mt. Diablo Blvd 925.283.9822
ORINDA
Rancho Saguaro 1050 Pereira Rd. 925.788.5200 www.ranchosaguaro.com
MORAGA Gaels Summer Camp 1928 St Mary’s Rd. 925.631.4FUN www.smcgaels.com
Camp Saklan 1678 School St. 925.376.7900
www.pleasanthillrec.com
PITTSBURG City of Pittsburg Parks and Recreation 300 Presido Ln. 925.252.4842 www.ci.pittsburg.ca.us
SAN RAMON City of San Ramon Camps 2226 Camino Ramon 925.973.2500 www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us
Adventure Day Camp Dorris-Eaton School One Annabel Lane 925.937.6500
www.saklan.org/about-us/campsaklan
www.adventuredaycamp.com
OAKLEY
Adventure Day Camp Seven Hills School 975 North San Carlos Dr. 925.937.6500
City of Oakley Parks and Recreation 3231 Main St. 925.625.7044 www.ci.oakley.ca.us
Diamond Hills Sports Club 1510 Neroly Rd. 925.420.4575 www.sparetimeclubs.com
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WALNUT CREEK
www.adventuredaycamp.com
Lindsay Wildlife Museum Summer Science Camp 1931 First Ave. 925.935.1978 www.wildlife-museum.org
The Growing Room Academy Various locations around the Bay Offers: 3,4 and 5 Day Camps 925.837.4392 www.thegrowingroom.org
Camp Rocks: Girl Scouts of Northern California Offered at 5 locations: San Rafael (Camp Bothin), Santa Cruz (Skylark Ranch), San Jose (Camp Metro Day Camp), North Lake Tahoe (Deer Lake), and the Sierra Nevada Mountains (Sugar Pine) 800.447.4475 ext. 2091 www.camprocks.org
Mad Science Camp Offered at several local Recreation sites and Community Centers 925.687.1900 www.mtdiablo.madscience.org
Steve and Kate’s Camp Danville, Dublin, Fremont, Oakland, Walnut Creek and Berkeley 415.389.5437 www.steveandkatescamp.com
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Camps Camp Galileo Alameda, Alamo, Berkeley, San Ramon, Walnut Creek, Fremont, Oakland, Lafayette and Orinda 510.595.7293
Club Sport Fremont, San Ramon, Pleasanton and Walnut Creek 925.938.8700
Camp Unalayee 3921 East Bayshore Rd. Palo Alto 650.969.6313
Almaden Equestrian Center 20100 Almaden Rd. San Jose 408.927.0232
www.clubsports.com
www.unalayee-summer-camp.com
www.almadenequestriancenter.net
www.galileo-learning.com
Camp Edmo Alameda, Fremont, and Oakland 415.282.6673
CYO Summer Camp 2136 Bohemian Hwy Occidental, 95465 707.874.0200
Silver Creek Sportsplex 800 Embedded Way San Jose 408.224.8774
www.campedmo.org
www.camp.cccyo.org
www.gotoplex.com
Kids’ Carpentry Berkeley, Lafayette, Alameda, Oakland, Alamo & Walnut Creek 510.524.9232
Mountain Camp Woodside 302 Portola Rd. Portola Valley 650.576.2267
KinderCare Walnut Creek, Concord, Danville, Martinez and Clayton 888.523.6765 www.kindercare.com/ summercamp
Viva el Espanol! Lafayette, Piedmont, Pleasanton & San Anselmo 925.962.9177 www.vivaelespanol.org/ summerprograms.php
Stratford School Summer Sports Camp & Enrichment Danville, Fremont, Los Gatos, Morgan Hill and Pleasanton 925.737.0001
www.techknowhowkids.com
www.stratfordschools.com
888.709.8324
Sky hawk’s Sports Camp Various locations around the Bay Area 800.804.3509
Out of Area
www.skyhawks.com
Lango Language Summer Camps Serving Alamo, Blackhawk, Brentwood, Briones, Canyon, Clayton, Concord, Danville, Martinez, Moraga, Orinda, Pacheco, Pittsburg, Pleasant Hill, San Ramon, Walnut Creek and surrounding regions 888.445.2646
iD Tech Camp Moraga, Concord, Livermore, Berkeley and other Bay Area locations www.idtech.com
www.collegeforkids-smccd.com
www.mountaincampwoodside.com
www.kidscarpentry.com
TechKnowHow Kids Dublin, Berkeley, Fremont, Livermore, Oakland & Pleasanton 650.638.0500
College For Kids 1700 W. Hillsdale Blvd. San Mateo 650.574.6149
Camp Tawonga 131 Steuart Ste. 460 San Francisco 415.543.2267 www.tawonga.org
School of Rock Summer Camp 711 South B St. San Mateo, San Jose & Palo Alto 650.347.3474 www.schoolofrock.com
SF Zoo Camp Sloat Blvd. & the Great Highway San Francisco 415.753.7080 www.sfzoo.org
Kennolyn Camps 8205 Glen Haven Rd. Soquel 831.479.6714 www.kennolyncamps.com
Golden Arrow Camps 644 Pollasky Avenue, Ste. 100 Clovis, 93612 800.554.CAMP www.goldarrowcamp.com
Coppercreek Camp 1887 Williams Valley Rd. Greenville, 95947 800.350.0006 www.coppercreek.com
www.langokids.com/parent/kidslanguage-summer-camps
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[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]
5
WHERE CURIOSITY TAKES YOU Step inside a tornado, turn upside down in a giant curved mirror, walk on a fog bridge, and explore more than 650 hands-on exhibits for visitors of all ages. You’ll find all of this plus unique programs; a café and restaurant; two stores; and more at our beautiful San Francisco bayside location. Now through September 3rd, don’t miss Inflatable: Expanding Works of Art—where gigantic, fantastical air-filled artworks reimagine what air can become. Inflatable is included with museum admission. Pier 15 on the Embarcadero •
exploratorium.edu/visit
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Rated #1 Museum in San Francisco
®
Preschool
Education is a Lifelong Commitment
®
Discover Quarry Lane
NOW ENROLLING Join our Open House every Wednesday! www.QuarryLane.org/Preschool
Toddler, Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten Academic-Based Curriculum Passionate, Experienced Educators
PLEASANTON WEST CAMPUS Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten 4444B Black Ave., Pleasanton, CA
925.462.6300
Full and Half Day Schedules Computer, Spanish, Music, P.E., and Library Two Preschool Campuses in Pleasanton
PLEASANTON EAST CAMPUS Toddler through Pre-Kindergarten 3750 Boulder St., Pleasanton, CA
925.846.9400
CA Licenses: 013411303, 013411304, 013411305, 013417681
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