Active Family Magazine | March 2021

MARCH 2021

Smoothing the Re-Entry Into School

TP l aHy f E ul

Parents

GUIDE TO

ROUGHHOUSING

TEN REASONS

TO SKI Homewood

Volume 8 / Issue 84

[ PARENTING ] How to Turn Tough Conversations Into Learning Opportunities

6

Smoothing The Re Entry Into School

Ten Reasons to Ski Homewood

24

28

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

[ TRAVEL ]

The Playful Parent’s Guide to Roughhousing

12

Summer Camp Guide

Valley of the Snow Kings — Epic Spring Skiing in Olympic Valley

18

8

12 2 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

28

8

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Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area

Publisher/Editor

Marketing Interns

Contributing Authors

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Talia Dobrec

Advertising Sales Director

Fashion Editor

Whitney Ignacio Whitney@activefamilymag.com

Rachel Fawkes www.fawkeshunter.com

Amy McCready Dr. Laura Markham Betsy Brown Braun Elizabeth Kang

Travel Editor

Design/Production

Elizabeth Kang ekang@activefamilymag.com

Teresa Agnew Craft

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

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Editor’s Note The sun is shining, more daylight is on the way (March 14th to be exact) and summer is just around the corner! Can you tell we are excited?

Our March issue launches our Summer Camp coverage. Now more than ever kids need to get active and get outside! There are so many options around the Bay and summer camp owners are working hard to implement the most stringent safety protocols to ensure our kids are kept safe and having fun! Do check out our Summer Camp Guide on page 18 and keep an eye out for upcoming open houses.

Although summer is on our radar, Tahoe is still making snow and the resorts are open! Turn to page 8 and page 24 to read about some epic snow skiing and boarding options for the entire family and be sure to get up to the snow before it is all gone!

Wishing you all a wonderful Spring!

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

[ PARENTING ]

How to Turn Tough Conversations Into Learning Opportunities

by Dr. Laura Markham Almost from the time our kids can talk, there are conflicts we need to work through with them: • An impending move ("I'm not going!")

• Your six year old lying • Your nine year old flunking math • Your twelve year old using profanity on Instagram • Your fifteen year old getting drunk with his friends Starting out on the offensive will only slam the doors of communication. If you can control your emotions and keep the conversation safe, your child may be able to stop being defensive and start sharing. That’s when breakthroughs happen. The child actually sees the error of her ways and becomes motivated to repair things. (Unlike when we jump to blame and punishment, and the child assumes you never understand or care.)

Here's how to master the art of the tough conversation.

Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone.

You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.

1. Don't take it personally.

• Your four year old screams "I hate you, Daddy!"

• Your ten year old huffs "Mom, you never understand!"

• Your teenager slams the door to her bedroom.

What's the most important thing to remember? DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! This isn't really about you. It's about them: their tangled up feelings, their difficulty controlling themselves, their immature ability to understand and express their emotions. When your child yells "You NEVER understand!" try to hear that as information about her -- at this moment she feels like she's never understood -- rather than about you.

Taking it personally wounds you, which means you do what we all do when we’re hurt: either close off, or lash out, or both. Which just makes the situation less safe and escalates the drama. Your goal is the opposite: Safety and Calm. That's where connection and learning can happen.

2. Manage your own feelings and behavior.

The only one you can control in this situation is yourself. That means you: • Take a deep breath.

• Let the hurt go. Remind yourself that your child does in fact love you but can't get in touch with it at the moment.

• Let the fear go. Remind yourself that while this feels like an emergency, it isn't. It's a learning opportunity for your child. (And for you!)

• Try hard to remember what it feels like to be a kid who is upset and overreacting.

• Notice if your “story” is making you upset (“But she lied to me!”) and

6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

[ PARENTING ] if necessary expand the story to change your emotional response: (“My child was so afraid of my reaction that she lied to me. I guess I need to look at how I respond when she tells me something I don't want to hear.”)

• Consciously lower and slow your voice before you speak. Your goal is to calm the storm, not inflame it.

3. Always start the conversation by acknowledging your child’s perspective.

That takes him off the defensive so he can hear you.

Let him take off from your comments to correct and elaborate. Before you state your own views, reflect his corrections so he knows you understand his point of view.

4. Extend respect.

Remember that more than one perspective can be true at once. Assume your child has a reason for her views or behavior. It may not be what you would consider a good reason, but she has a reason. If you want to understand her, you’ll need to extend her the basic respect of trying to see things from her point of view. Say whatever you need to say and then close your mouth and listen.

5. Reconnect with your love and empathy for your child.

You can still set limits, but do it from as calm a place as you can muster. Your child will be deeply grateful, even if he can't acknowledge it at the moment.

I'm not suggesting that you let your child treat you disrespectfully. I'm suggesting that you recognize any disrespect as an expression of hurt, fear or frustration.

Listen to the message underneath the rudeness. Wait until you can act out of love, rather than anger, before you set limits.

6. Keep the conversation safe for everyone.

People can’t hear when they’re upset. If they don’t feel safe, they generally withdraw or attack. If you notice your child getting angry, scared or hurt, back up and reconnect. Remind him– and yourself – how much you love him, and that you’re committed to finding a solution that works for everyone.

7. Try hard to avoid making your child defensive.

• Use “I” statements to describe your feelings (“It scares me when you’re late and don’t call” instead of "You're so irresponsible not to call!")

• Describe the situation. (“This report card is much worse than your previous report cards” instead of "This is a terrible report card!")

• Give information. (“Our neighbor Mrs. Brown says that you were smoking in the back yard” instead of "Are you smoking?")

8. Ask questions instead of lecturing, which is the best way to keep your child receptive.

Here are two of the most valuable questions you can ask to help your child develop good judgment and make better choices in the future: • "Was there some part of you that knew this was a bad idea?"

• "Why didn't you listen to that part of you?"

9. Summon your sense of humor.

A light touch almost magically diffuses tension.

10. Remember that expressing anger just makes you more angry ...because it reinforces your position that you’re right and the other person is wrong. Instead, notice your anger and use it as a signal of what needs to change, and take constructive action. For instance, rather than throwing a tantrum because the kids aren’t helping around the house, use your anger as a motivator to implement a new system of chores – one they help design -- that will help prevent the situation in the future.

11. Wait until there's been a reconnection before you ask your child to come up with a repair plan.

For instance, if your child has ruptured the trust between you, he has some repair work to do. But he won't be be motivated to do that until he sees the cost of his actions.

First connect. Then brainstorm repair with him.

12. Hold the intention that working through a conflict in a way that meets everyone's needs can actually bring you closer to your child.

This doesn't happen if we enter the conversation intent on winning. But if we approach a difficult discussion with clarity about our true purpose -- nurturing this developing human -- we create an opening for something new to happen. If we're open to really hearing our child's side of things, and to meeting our child with love even while we're clear about the behavior we need to see, new possibilities for connection will appear.

That may seem impossible when everyone is upset. But intimacy deepens or is eroded by every interaction we have. Every problem is a chance to shift onto a positive track and deepen your connection to your child.

MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 7

[ TRAVEL ]

[ TRAVEL ]

Valley of the Snow Kings - Epic

Spring Skiing in Olympic Valley

by Elizabeth Kang

The spring ski season is my absolute favorite time of year

delicious on-site restaurants, comfortable lodging, and

to hit the slopes in Northern California. There’s nothing

breathtaking scenery. (There are currently plans to build

like flying down the mountain in a short-sleeved shirt,

a interconnecting gondola to connect the two ski parks

with the sun warming your back and plenty of powdery

for easy back and forth access between the two parks.

soft snow beneath your ski’s. We are so fortunate to live just a few-hour’s drive from one of the best spring

SAFETY FIRST

ski destinations in the world — Squaw Valley Alpine

*As with most ski resorts in the area, Squaw Valley and

Meadows.

Alpine Meadows are adhering to strict Covid-19 safety protocols, which include mandatory face masks required

Nestled between Truckee and Lake Tahoe in the world-

in all common public areas, including on the ski lifts,

famous Olympic Valley, Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows

gondolas, outdoor village areas, and on the slopes.

is a world-class ski destination that should be on every snow-lover’s bucket list. A haven for both adrenaline

*Social distancing is encouraged throughout the ski

junkies and laid-back families, these two epic ski resorts

resorts and lift riders are only allowed to ride with

boast breathtaking natural beauty, and some of the best

members of the same household or “social bubble.”

skiing in the world. With a ski season that can run into July on a good year, Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows offers

*Purchasing a lift ticket must be done in advance, as the

a spring ski season like no other, with the most ski-able

resorts are limiting the number of people allowed on the

acreage in North America.

slopes in an effort to reduce capacity.

Voted USA Today’s Reader’s Choice “Best Ski Resort in

*Many eateries offer easy online ordering from the

North America,” Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows are

Squaw Valley/Alpine Meadows App, so you can pick

actually two separate ski destinations, each with their

up your food when it’s ready and eat outside, or in the

own character and vibe, both located next to each

safety and comfort of your lodging.

other in Olympic Valley. (Purchasing a lift ticket to either ski park gives you access to ski both parks.) While both

SNOW ACTIVITIES

ski parks offer a vibrant ski culture and picturesque

*Skiing and Snowboarding is offered every day of the

views, some prefer the smaller, more intimate family

week, but I highly recommend going midweek if you can

friendly vibe of Alpine Meadows, while others enjoy the

swing it, when the crowds are much more sparse, and

grander scale of Squaw Valley. Squaw Valley and Alpine

the prices are a steal. With over 6,000 skiable acres and

Meadows are both only a 5-10 minute drive to the lake

34 lifts across both ski parks, there’s always new terrain

and offer awesome skiing and snowboarding for all

to explore and dozens of runs to experience at Squaw

levels.

Valley Alpine Meadows.

You can’t go wrong with either choice. Both offer ski

*Booking midweek lodging gets you discounted lift

and snowboarding lessons for ages 3-yrs-old to adult,

tickets, and the resort offers an awesome “midweek 4 MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9

[ TRAVEL ]

pack” deal where guests can get lots of consecutive ski

tours.

days in — the best way to learn — on the cheap. Plus, going midweek ensures that you won’t be fighting that

SPACIOUS LODGING

dreaded weekend Bay Area/ Tahoe traffic.

*The Village at Squaw Valley offers spacious and comfortable lodging right in the heart of the village, just

*For those seeking alternative snow fun, both resorts offer

a short walk to the slopes. From Studio units to One, two

snow tubing, (children must be at least 40” tall,) and

or three bedroom suites, there are accommodations to

Cross-Country/Nordic Skiing. Squaw Valley also offers

suite any size group or family.

snowmobiling, and even mini snowmobiling for kids ages 6-12 yrs-old. Other snow activities offered at Squaw

*Boasting private balconies overlooking mountain and

include snowshoeing, sledding, and guided backcountry

village views, along with convenient underground

10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

[ TRAVEL ] parking, The Village at Squaw Valley offers the most

serves up family friendly eats such as burgers, fries, and

convenient location to ski and board.

nachos, along with signature drinks and craft beer.

*Most suites offer full gourmet kitchens, cozy fireplaces,

*Wildflour Baking Company is located in Olympic House

and ski lockers to store all your gear, and under normal

at Squaw Valley and serves to-die-for fresh-baked

circumstances (outside of Covid-19), relaxing community hot tubs are available for guests’ use. The rooms and suites are modern and updated, with plenty of space for the whole family to stretch out and relax.

FAMILY FRIENDLY DINING *Fireside Pizza Co. is a popular venue located right inside

cookies, along with breakfast fare and light lunch choices. Their house-made bagels are a favorite with staff and hungry skiers alike.

*Tremigo Mexican Kitchen & Tequila Bar is a lively restaurant with outdoor seating and great fish tacos,

The Village at Squaw and offers delicious pizza (gluten

along with specialty tequila drinks. Don’t miss their

free crusts available) that both kids and adults enjoy, as

warming and rich “Molcajete,” a delicious Mexican

well as hearty salads and pastas.

stew served in a traditional lava stone bowl, perfect for sharing. Grab n Go breakfast burritos are available in the

*Rocker@Squaw, also located in the Village at Squaw,

mornings.

MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11

[ PARENTING ]

The Playful Parent’s Guide to Roughhousing

by Dr. Meg Meeker Crash!

You wince as the sound of glass smashing onto the hardwood floor echoes from the living room. Quickly, you run into the room, pretty sure you know what scene you’re about to come across.

Just as you suspected, there lies your favorite crystal vase, shattered to pieces amidst a sea of wilting flowers. Your children stare at you from their spot on the ground, arms entangled, waiting for your reaction.

You open your mouth but don’t know what to say. A million things come to mind…

Dr. Meeker is a pediatrician, who has practiced pediatric and adolescent medicine for 25 years. She is the author of six books including the best-selling Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: Ten Secrets Every Father Should Know; Boys Should Be Boys; Your Kids At Risk;, The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity; Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: The 30 Day Challenge and Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men, (Ballantine) April 2014. She is a popular speaker on pediatric health issues and child-parent relationships.

Look at what you did!

How many times have I told you not to roughhouse?

Why don’t you ever listen?

You need to play nicely!

Instead, you hold back and take a deep breath. Sure, controlling your temper is proving to be rather challenging–after all, you must have asked them not to roughhouse at least fifty times (this week!). But as the saying goes, this isn’t your first rodeo. And if there’s one thing you’ve learned time and time again, it’s this: yelling won’t help.

But what can you do?

Dr. Meeker is co-host and physicianin-residence of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk Radio. She is also Assistant Clinical Professor at Michigan State University College of Human Medicine and currently teaches medical students and physicians in residency training.

She is board certified with the American Board of Pediatrics and is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Dr. Meeker serves on the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute. She has been married to her husband, Walter for 32 years. They have shared a medical practice for over 20 years.

They have three grown daughters and a grown son. She lives in northern Michigan.

First off, friend, let me assure you, I know exactly how you feel.

You’ve given everything you have to be the best parent you can be. You’ve taken the classes, read the parenting books, and listened to all the experts.

Yet, when you find your children roughhousing (again), you feel a little hopeless. Isn’t there something you can do to make it stop?

But let’s pause for a moment.

Now, I know from the outside looking in, roughhousing appears, well–ROUGH! It seems so brutal and violent. Not to mention heart-stopping (I mean, really.

Do they want to go to the hospital?). We can’t possibly let our children act that way…right?

12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

[ PARENTING ] Believe it or not, the answer is yes. We can let them act

Here’s the thing…it’s not your job to stop the rough and

that way!

tumble play. But it is your job to teach your children to partake in the right way.

Because the truth is, roughhousing–when done right–is NOT a bad thing. It actually has some fantastic benefits!

Follow these tips to make sure your kids’ roughhousing stays playful, fun, and harmless!

Let me explain…

TIPS FOR ROUGHHOUSING THE RIGHT WAY The Science of Roughhousing Roughhousing–or as some call it, “Rough and Tumble

Tip #1: Know the Difference Between Play Fighting and

Play”–looks a bit sketchy on the outside (especially to

Real Fighting

us moms–yikes!). But science tells us there are numerous benefits to this type of play.

You’re standing at the kitchen sink, multitasking as usual.

As your hands wash the dishes, your eyes keep darting

In fact, in their book The Art of Roughhousing: Good

out the window, checking on your kids playing in the

Old-Fashioned Horseplay and Why Every Kid Needs It,

backyard.

Drs. Anthony DeBenedet and Lawrence Cohen suggest that roughhousing has both intellectual AND connective

Your oldest is jumping on the trampoline with his little

benefits.

brother, and the two are getting along well. After a year spent at home together through the pandemic, you take

You see, when our kids are roughhousing, their

this as a huge win.

brains release a chemical known as a brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). You can think of this as a

Of course, you look down to grab another dish only

type of fertilizer that stimulates brain growth.

to glance up a few seconds later to find things have

How neat is that?!

changed…drastically.

Each time they start horsing around playfully, their brains

Suddenly, the two boys are no longer happily bouncing

are treated to a healthy boost of stimulation that will not

up and down. Instead, they’re rolling across the

only lead to stronger intellectual and social development

trampoline, arms entangled, legs thrashing. Your oldest

but will help them learn to regulate their emotional

puts his brother in a headlock and messes up his hair, but

responses as well.

the little guy soon wiggles free and jumps on his brother’s back.

This type of rough play between kids or with parents is also an excellent way to build connections with others.

Naturally panicked, you run outside to put a stop to the

When done the right way–with both parties having a

fighting. However, upon closer inspection, you notice

good time playing–the brain releases a significant dose

things look a little different. Are the boys actually…

of oxytocin.

laughing?

You know oxytocin–the hormone that gives you all those

From afar, it’s easy to understand how play fighting can

warm, loving feelings? It’s the same thing that’s released

be mistaken for real fighting. After all, it’s still technically

when we share a hug or snuggle our kiddos.

fighting.

Seeing your kids playing so wildly may give your heart

But there are key differences between the two. And

quite the fright, and the thought of joining in? Forget

when you learn to recognize the signs, it’s much easier to

about it! But you can rest assured knowing there are a lot

accept roughhousing for what it is–another form of play!

of benefits resting just below the surface.

When kids are play fighting, “attacks” are simulated and MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13

[ PARENTING ] “held back.” By that, I simply mean they’re pretend.

firm shove to the ground. On come the waterworks.

It looked like your oldest had his brother in a severe

And you just know what you’ve been worried about all

headlock, but up close, his grip was actually loose

this time has suddenly come true. Someone has gotten

enough to let him easily slip out.

hurt.

When fighting for play, punches are softened, tackles

Now I know your first instinct may be to ban them from

are less aggressive, and attitudes are usually pretty

ever horsing around again. But try and hold off. Because,

cheerful. And afterward, there are no hard feelings.

like it or not, trying to force your will is nothing but a recipe for power struggles.

When kids fight for real, however, all the rules go out the window.

Instead, try establishing some ground rules.

Happy shrieks are traded for angry cries. The intention of

In a calm moment, perhaps during a family meeting

fun is replaced with a desire to harm. And when the fight

or somewhere else away from the chaos, make it a

is over, anger remains.

priority to create your family’s own ground rules for roughhousing.

As a parent, you know your children better than anyone.

And I’d be willing to bet you have a pretty good

These can be anything you see fit, though certain rules

understanding of when they’re fighting for play versus

are probably a given. For instance:

when they’ve entered a full-on knock-down-drag-out match.

• Consent is the number one priority! Any participation in roughhousing should be agreed

So keep an eye out, and listen to your gut. By knowing

upon by all involved. AND the moment one party no

and watching for the difference between the two

longer wants to play, the roughhousing should end.

types of play, you’re setting yourself (and your kids) up for understanding the key to successful and safe roughhousing.

• Be nice! Just because the play is rough does not mean it can’t be nice. That means no hitting, kicking, biting, etc., that is rough enough to cause

Tip #2: Establish Ground Rules “Last one in the house is a rotten egg!”

physical harm.

• Pick a safe space. Roughhousing right next to mom’s favorite vase is probably not the best idea. Out in

Your 7-year-old daughter takes off in a sprint, racing

the yard or downstairs on a playmat? Much better!

her older sister toward the house. They’ve been playing outside all morning and are more than ready to eat

Once you have your rules finalized, the next step is to

when you call them in for dinner.

utilize this fantastic tool from our toolbox–Take Time for Training.

However, just as she’s about to reach the front steps, her sister catches up and latches onto her shirt. They push

Rules are hard, and they take time to learn–especially

and pull, and the younger girl is clearly trying to get

for kids. So make sure you aren’t setting your

away when…RIIIIIP!

expectations too high right out of the gate.

“Hey, you ruined my shirt!”

Will they forget one of the rules? Probably. But that’s why we take time to train them. Eventually, the knowledge

Your youngest is red in the face as she gives her sister a 14 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

will seep in, and they’ll catch on.

[ PARENTING ] Tip #3: Make it About Connection

What a win!

Imagine, if you will…

Tip #4: Keep it Playful

You’ve completed The 7-Step Parenting Success System,

For kids, more than anything else, roughhousing is

and of all the tools in the toolbox, Mind, Body, and Soul

downright fun!

Time (MBST) is your absolute favorite! Those 10-15 minutes you spend each day with your son one-on-one are the

They enjoy the movement, the laughter, and the

best 10-15 minutes of the entire day.

connection it brings, which explains why you may be finding it next to impossible to put a stop to in your

It’s your husband’s favorite tool, as well. But his MBST

household.

with your son looks a little different from yours. And, sometimes, that has you worried.

Just remember, stopping the roughhousing isn’t the goal. Maintaining that playfulness, however, absolutely

Because, while the two of you enjoy reading comic

is. Because, unfortunately, the jump from playful to

books, building LEGO sets, and drawing pictures, he and

aggressive isn’t a very long one.

your husband have a different daily ritual.

I’m sure you’ve been there, watching your children They fight. Well, play fight, that is.

wrestling on the playroom floor. One second they’re all laughing and giggles; the next, they’re screaming and

Every day, the moment your son steps foot off the school

crying because one child pushed the other a little too

bus, you know what’s about to go down. Or should I say,

hard.

throw down?

Your instinct may be to put a stop to it that very instant.

Right there on the front lawn, for all the world to see, they

And, if safety is a concern, you absolutely should. But I’d

wrestle. They shove. They fight.

challenge you to play a little more offense if you can and

But you know what else they do? Bond!

go in with the mindset of preventing a downward spiral altogether.

Believe it or not, roughhousing paves the way to building a deeper connection with your child. (It works great for

And the best way to do so is to take an active role in

siblings to connect, as well!)

keeping it playful.

To make it simple, set your mind right by entering into

Try some encouragement!

the Child Ego State, where emotional connections are made. No longer are you the parent whose job is to

“Look at how much fun you two are having!”

maintain rules and keep order. You’re there to have fun!

“Wow! You have so much energy! It’s great to see you And when you’re having fun with your child, you’re not

playing so nicely.”

only meeting their hard-wired need for attention–you’re building memories that last a lifetime!

Of course, if you’re roughhousing alongside them, you have a fantastic opportunity to model good behavior.

As a bonus, enjoying a deep level of connection not only

Keep smiling, laughing, and mentioning how much fun

makes you a happier, less stressed parent; it also cuts

you’re having. Also, pay close attention to ensure you

down on the amount of misbehavior you see coming

never let your size and strength become intimidating or

from your child.

scary.

MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15

[ PARENTING ] The truth of the matter is, if you’re in a playful mindset,

the roughhousing.

your kids will most likely follow. Which is a fantastic way to ensure this fun pastime stays precisely that–FUN!

You can do this by laying out your expectations in advance. This will avoid blindsiding them and prepare

Tip #5: Know When to (Calmly) Rein It In

them to settle down without feeling as though they are being nagged.

It’s so easy, especially in the heat of the moment, for things to take a turn for the worse. Feelings get hurt,

Perhaps try, “Alright, we are running out of time before

tempers flare, and everything else seems to disintegrate

we have to go eat dinner. Let’s play for one more

very quickly.

minute, and then we can have dinner. You must be so hungry!”

Fortunately, there are a few clues you can look for that are pretty good indicators things are about to head south.

Are the smiles and giggles becoming fewer and further between? Are the shoves getting harder? Is the room feeling less fun?

What about body language?

Look for scowls, furrowed brows, even a lack of eye contact. When the atmosphere in the room turns from fun-filled to on-edge, that’s a sure sign that trouble is brewing.

One of the most beautiful things about roughhousing is that it allows children to strengthen their awareness of their bodies as well as learn to respect the boundaries of others. Of course, when boundaries are crossed and the joy begins to leave the playtime, be aware, and prepare

There’s a reason why Calm Voice is one of the top Positive Parenting Solutions tools in the toolbox–it works!

And when it comes to roughhousing, staying calm (even when everything inside you is trying to freak out) will always prove to be beneficial in the long run.

But here’s what not to do: jump in too soon, if you can possibly help it. Not only do you want to give them a chance to figure out for themselves when to make an exit or call a playful truce, but you also don’t want to get in the habit of helicoptering their interactions.

FINAL THOUGHTS As hard as it may be, now is the time to put away those preconceived notions you may have of roughhousing.

We now have so much evidence that tells us, when done correctly, rough play can be a significant asset to

to rein it in.

our children and to us as well!

Should you see any of the warning signs, politely shut it

It’s physically and emotionally stimulating, and

down before anything serious happens. It’s up to you to

connective beyond measure. Of course, as with

know your kids and their limits.

anything our children do, precautions must be taken.

In a calm voice, say, “Hey kids, I can see you aren’t

But you can rest assured, as your children mutually

having as much fun as you were before. Let’s take a

wrestle out in the yard or jump on your partner the

break for a while and go have a snack.”

moment he walks in the door, what may seem like a risky form of play is nothing to worry about.

Or perhaps you simply have something else coming up that will require the rough play to end. You can get

In fact, it’s absolutely normal.

ahead of the curve (and avoid unnecessary power struggles) by calmly preparing your children to stop with 16 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

Have fun playing!

[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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www.prodigyfitness-jumpstart.com MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 17

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

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18 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

Programs available at

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A traditional summer camp experience

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19

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Summer Alameda County ALAMEDA Alameda School of Music 1307 High St. 510.769.0195 www.alamusic.org

Camp Bladium 800 West Tower Ave 510.814.4999 www.bladiumalameda.com/ youth-kids/kids-camps

BERKELEY Music Discovery Workshop 2005 Berryman St. 510.528.1725 www.sfems.org

St. John’s Camp Elmwood 2727 College Ave. 510.845.6830 www.stjohnsberkeley.org/ campelmwood

Sticky Art Lab 1682 University Ave. 510.981.1148 www.stickyartlab.com

City of Dublin 100 Civic Plaza 925.556.4500 www.ci.dublin.ca.us

Young Writers Camp UC Berkeley Campus 510.642.0971

Valley Christian School 7500 Inspiration Dr. 925.560.6270

www.bawpwritingcamp.org

www.ValleyChristianSchools.org

Green Stuff Summer Camp UC Berkeley Botanical Gardens 510.643.4832

Edge Gymnastics Training Center 6780 Sierra Court St. K 925.479.9904

www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

www.edge-gymnastics.com

Lawrence Hall of Science UC Berkeley 510.642.5134

Kidz Kraftz Quail Creek Cir. 925.271.0015

www.lawrencehallofscience.org

www.kidzkraftz.com/camps

BERKELEY/ECHO LAKE

Tri-Valley YMCA 6693 Sierra Ln 925.263.4444

Berkeley Echo Lake Camp Lot #7 Echo Lakes Rd 530.659.7539 www.cityofberkeley.info/camps

CASTRO VALLEY Skye Valley Training Camp 10250 Crow Canyon Rd 925.858.8825 www.psi.lunariffic.com/~skyev0/

Sarah’s Science 21525 Knoll Way 510.581.3739 www.sarahscience.com

Camp Kee Tov 1301 Oxford St. 510.842.2372 www.campkeetov.org

Bee Best Learning 20394 San Miguel Ave. 510.728.2110 www.beebestlearning.com

Habitot 2065 Kittredge St. 510.647.1111 ext. 14 www.habitot.org/museum/ activities_camps.html

Monkey Business Camp 2880A Sacramento St. 510.540.6025

www.trivalley.ymcaeastbay.org

Extended Day Child Care 8435 Davona Dr. 925.829.4043 & 7997 Vomac Rd. 925.551.8170 7243 Tamarack Dr. 925.833.0127 & 5301 Hibernia Dr. 925.803.4154 & 3300 Antone Way 925.826.5538 www.extendeddaychildcare.com

Quarry Lane School 6363 Tassajara Rd. 925.829.8000

DUBLIN

www.quarrylane.org

East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 4651 Gleason Dr. 925.479.9670

FREMONT

www.eastbayspca.org/camp

www.monkeybusinesscamp.com

20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

Learning Bee Summer Camp 39977 Mission Blvd.

510.226.8408 www.learningbeeusa.com

Ohlone for Kids 43600 Mission Blvd.

510.659.6000 www.ohlone.edu/org/ ohloneforkids

HAYWARD Hayward Area Recreation Park District (H.A.R.D.) Day Camps 510.881.6700 www.haywardrec.org

LIVERMORE Horizons East Equestrian Center 5111 Doolan Rd. 925.960.9696 www.showstables.com

Roy’s Magic Camp 2466 8th St. 925.455.0600 www.magiccamp.org

Camp Arroyo Taylor Family Foundation 5535 Arroyo Rd. 925.371.8401 www.ebparks.org/activities/ daycamps/parks_camp_arroyo

Saddle to Ride Topline Training, Inc. 4180 Greenville Rd. 925.858.3933 www.saddle2ride.com

Xtreme Force Dance Company 847 Rincon Ave. 925.455.6054 www.xtremeforcedanceco.com

Double Diamond Sports Academy 2272 Research Dr. 925.830.9765 www. doublediamondsportsacademy. com

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camps Valley Montessori 1273 N. Livermore Ave. 925.455.8021

MOCHA Summer Camp 1625 Clay St. 510.465.8770

Contra Costa County

www.valleymontessorischool.com

www.mocha.org

OAKLAND

PLEASANTON

Lakeshore Children’s Center 3534 Lakeshore Ave. 510.893.4048

Gingerbread Preschool 4333 Black Ave. 925.931.3430

City of Antioch Parks and Recreation 213 “F” St 925.776.7070

www.lakeshorechildrenscenter.org

www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us/services/ recreation/gb/gbhome.html

Urban Adventure Camp 5701 Cabot Dr. 510.339.0676 www.urbanadventurecamps.com

Extended Day Child Care 5199 Black Ave. 925.846.5519 www.extendeddaychildcare.com

East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 8323 Baldwin St. 510.569.0702 www.eastbayspca.org/camp

Quarry Lane School - East 3750 Boulder St. 925.846.9400 www.quarrylane.org

California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 4660 Harbord Dr. 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html

Oakland Summer ZooCamp 9777 Golf Links Rd. 510.632.9525 www.oaklandzoo.org

Lake Merritt Boating Center Youth Boating Camps 568 Bellevue Ave. 510.238.2196 www.sailoakland.com

Raskob Learning Institute 3520 Mountain Blvd.

510.436.1275 www.raskobinstitute.org

Kids N’ Dance 3840 Macarthur Blvd.

510.531.4400 www.kidsndance.com

Quarry Lane School - West 4444B Black Ave. 925.462.6300 www.quarrylane.org

ANTIOCH

www.ci.antioch.ca.us/Recreation

Four Stars Gymnastics Academy 1799 Vineyard Dr. 925.778.8650 www.fourstarsgym.com

CONCORD City of Concord Parks and Recreation 925.671.3404 www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps

Camp Concord in South Lake Tahoe 1000 Mt. Tallac Trailhead Rd South Lake Tahoe 530.541.1203

Yang Fan Academy 4160 Hacienda Dr. St. 100 925.699.4664

www.ci.concord.ca.us/recreation/ camp

www.yfacademy.org

Backyard Explorers Corner of Babel Ln & Cowell Rd. 925.671.3118

City of Pleasanton Summer Programs 200 Old Bernal Ave. 925.931.3436

DANVILLE City of Danville Camps 420 Front St. 925.314.3400 www.danville.ca.gov/Recreation/ Camps

Vision Tech Camps 117 Town & Country Dr. St. B 925.699.9602 www.visiontechcamps.com

Athenian Summer Programs at Athenian School 2100 Mt. Diablo Scenic Blvd 925.837.5375 www.athenian.org

Color Bundles 301 Hartz Ave. #104 925.727.3137 www.colorbundles.com

Camp Brainy Bunch 741 Brookside Dr. 510.548.4800 www.campbrainybunch.com

Quest Therapeutic Camps Charlotte Wood Middle School 600 El Captain Dr. 925.743.2900 www.questcamps.com

www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps/backyardexp.htm

www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us

Expressions Dance & Art 3015 Hopyard Rd. Ste. I 925.200.9908 www.expressions-dance-arts.com/

Young Ivy Academy 5460 Sunol Blvd (#3) 925.548.0188 www.youngivyacademy.com

Inspire Music Academy 2340 Santa Rita Rd. Ste. 7 925.461.3266 www.inspiremusicacademy.com

MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Summer LAFAYETTE California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 1000 Upper Happy Valley Rd 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html

Kids N’ Dance 3369 Mt. Diablo 925.284.7388 www.kidsndance.com

Sienna Ranch 3232 Deer Hill Rd. 925.283.6311 www.siennaranch.net

Sherman Swim School 1075 Carol Ln. 925.283.2100 www.shermanswim.com

www.frenchforfun.com

Lafayette Tennis Club 3125 Camino Diablo 925.937.2582 www.lafayettetennis.com

Husky House for Kids 3855 Happy Valley Rd. 925.283.7100 www.huskyhouseforkids.org/ summer-camp-programs

Lafayette Community Center Camps 500 Saint Mary’s Rd. 925.284.2232 www.lafayetterec.org

Roughing It Day Camp 1010 Oak Hill Rd. 925.283.3795 www.roughingit.com

BandWorks Summer Camp 28 Orinda Way 925.254.2445 www.bandworks.com/summer_ orinda.php

Orinda Academy 19 Altarinda Rd. 925.478.4504

Lindsay Wildlife Museum Summer Science Camp 1931 First Ave. 925.935.1978 www.wildlife-museum.org

Camp ARF for Kids 2890 Mitchell Dr. 925.256.1273 www.youth.arf.net

Merriewood Children’s Center 561 Merriewood Dr. 925.284.2121

www.orindaacademy.org

Camp Doodle 66 St. Stephens Dr.

City of Walnut Creek Summer Camps 1666 North Main St. 925.943.5899

www.merriewood.org

www.campdoodles.com

www.walnut-creek.org

MARTINEZ

PLEASANT HILL

John Muir Mountain Day Camp John Muir National Historic Site 925.680.8807

City of Pleasant Hill Camps 147 Gregory Ln 925.682.0896

Castle Rock Arabians 1350 Castle Rock Rd. 925.933.3701

www.johnmuirassociation.org/ muircamp/index.php

French For Fun 3381 Mt. Diablo Blvd 925.283.9822

ORINDA

Rancho Saguaro 1050 Pereira Rd. 925.788.5200 www.ranchosaguaro.com

MORAGA Gaels Summer Camp 1928 St Mary’s Rd. 925.631.4FUN www.smcgaels.com

Camp Saklan 1678 School St. 925.376.7900 www.saklan.org/about-us/campsaklan

OAKLEY City of Oakley Parks and Recreation 3231 Main St. 925.625.7044 www.ci.oakley.ca.us

Diamond Hills Sports Club 1510 Neroly Rd. 925.420.4575 www.sparetimeclubs.com

22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

www.castlerockarabians.com

www.pleasanthillrec.com

PITTSBURG City of Pittsburg Parks and Recreation 300 Presido Ln. 925.252.4842 www.ci.pittsburg.ca.us

SAN RAMON City of San Ramon Camps 2226 Camino Ramon 925.973.2500 www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us

School of Rock San Ramon 460 Montgomery Street 925.415.3340 510.207.9281 bit.ly/SORsanramoncamps

Adventure Day Camp Dorris-Eaton School One Annabel Lane 925.937.6500 www.adventuredaycamp.com

WALNUT CREEK Adventure Day Camp Seven Hills School 975 North San Carlos Dr. 925.937.6500 www.adventuredaycamp.com

Multiple Locations The Growing Room Academy Various locations around the Bay Offers: 3,4 and 5 Day Camps 925.837.4392 www.thegrowingroom.org

Camp Rocks: Girl Scouts of Northern California Offered at 5 locations: San Rafael (Camp Bothin), Santa Cruz (Skylark Ranch), San Jose (Camp Metro Day Camp), North Lake Tahoe (Deer Lake), and the Sierra Nevada Mountains (Sugar Pine) 800.447.4475 ext. 2091 www.camprocks.org

Mad Science Camp Offered at several local Recreation sites and Community Centers 925.687.1900 www.mtdiablo.madscience.org

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camps Steve and Kate’s Camp Danville, Dublin, Fremont, Oakland, Walnut Creek and Berkeley 415.389.5437 www.steveandkatescamp.com

Camp Galileo Alameda, Alamo, Berkeley, San Ramon, Walnut Creek, Fremont, Oakland, Lafayette and Orinda 510.595.7293

Lango Language Summer Camps Serving Alamo, Blackhawk, Brentwood, Briones, Canyon, Clayton, Concord, Danville, Martinez, Moraga, Orinda, Pacheco, Pittsburg, Pleasant Hill, San Ramon, Walnut Creek and surrounding regions 888.445.2646 www.langokids.com/parent/kidslanguage-summer-camps

Out of Area Golden Arrow Camps 644 Pollasky Avenue, Ste. 100 Clovis, 93612 800.554.CAMP www.goldarrowcamp.com

Coppercreek Camp 1887 Williams Valley Rd. Greenville, 95947 800.350.0006 www.coppercreek.com

www.galileo-learning.com

KinderCare Walnut Creek, Concord, Danville, Martinez and Clayton 888.523.6765 www.kindercare.com/ summercamp

Viva el Espanol!

Lafayette, Piedmont, Pleasanton & San Anselmo 925.962.9177 www.vivaelespanol.org/ summerprograms.php

Club Sport Fremont, San Ramon, Pleasanton and Walnut Creek 925.938.8700 www.clubsports.com

Camp Edmo Alameda, Fremont, and Oakland 415.282.6673 www.campedmo.org

Kids’ Carpentry Berkeley, Lafayette, Alameda, Oakland, Alamo & Walnut Creek 510.524.9232

Stratford School Summer Sports Camp & Enrichment Danville, Fremont, Los Gatos, Morgan Hill and Pleasanton 925.737.0001

www.kidscarpentry.com

www.stratfordschools.com

www.techknowhowkids.com

Sky hawk’s Sports Camp Various locations around the Bay Area 800.804.3509

iD Tech Camp Moraga, Concord, Livermore, Berkeley and other Bay Area locations www.idtech.com

www.skyhawks.com

TechKnowHow Kids Dublin, Berkeley, Fremont, Livermore, Oakland & Pleasanton 650.638.0500

Camp Unalayee 3921 East Bayshore Rd. Palo Alto 650.969.6313 www.unalayee-summer-camp.com

CYO Summer Camp 2136 Bohemian Hwy Occidental, 95465 707.874.0200 www.camp.cccyo.org

Mountain Camp Woodside 302 Portola Rd. Portola Valley 650.576.2267 www.mountaincampwoodside.com

SF Zoo Camp Sloat Blvd. & the Great Highway San Francisco 415.753.7080 www.sfzoo.org Almaden Equestrian Center 20100 Almaden Rd. San Jose 408.927.0232 www.almadenequestriancenter.net

Silver Creek Sportsplex 800 Embedded Way San Jose 408.224.8774 www.gotoplex.com

College For Kids 1700 W. Hillsdale Blvd.

San Mateo 650.574.6149 www.collegeforkids-smccd.com

School of Rock Summer Camp 711 South B St. San Mateo, San Jose & Palo Alto 650.347.3474 www.schoolofrock.com

Camp Tawonga 131 Steuart Ste. 460 San Francisco 415.543.2267 www.tawonga.org

Kennolyn Camps 8205 Glen Haven Rd. Soquel 831.479.6714 www.kennolyncamps.com

888.709.8324

MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23

[ TRAVEL ]

24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

[ TRAVEL ]

10 REASONS TO SKI

HOMEWOOD MOUNTAIN RESORT

by Elizabeth Kang

1. Prime Location

3. Safety Commitments

Homewood Mountain Resort boasts a prime location

Homewood takes guest safety seriously, and has been

right across from breathtaking West Lake Tahoe in

working hard to implement and enforce Covid-19 safety

Homewood, where guests can experience old-town

precautions. This includes requiring that guests wear

charm far removed from the South Tahoe party scene

face masks in all public areas, both inside and outside,

and crowds. Perfect for all levels, this boutique ski resort

and maintain social distancing, ensuring that guests stay

offers beginner, intermediate and advanced ski runs, as

6 feet apart in line for lifts and inside equipment rental

well as sledding, private lessons, and equipment rentals.

areas. Homewood dining venues are open for take-out and outdoor dining only, with limited outdoor seating. All

2. Priceless Views

surfaces are sanitized frequently, from outdoor tables to

The views from Homewood are spectacular. Every

rental equipment and ski lift chairs.

single trail on the mountain offers skiers a breathtaking backdrop view of stunning Lake Tahoe — a bonus not

4. Fewer Crowds

seen at many other ski parks in the area. The base of the

Homewood has always been known for fewer crowds,

resorts sits merely a few feet away from the Lake Tahoe

but this ski season they’re capping season pass sales by

shoreline, so guests enjoy the best of both worlds — surf

25%, and limiting the number of daily skiers. Fewer skiers

and snow.

per acre is a recipe for more fun on the mountain, with MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25

[ TRAVEL ]

26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

[ TRAVEL ] shorter lines for ski chairs, dining, and sledding.

are also available.

5. Cozy Accommodations

8. Exceptional Workshops

Situated just across the street from Homewood, the

Homewood Mountain Resort offers a number of unique

Westshore Cafe and Inn (owned by Homewood) is a cozy

day backcountry workshops, designed to introduce

respite after a long day in the snow. Offering rooms, suites

beginners to new techniques and experiences, or help

and villas to accommodate any sized group, this rustic-

advanced skiers or snowboarders hone their skills. The

chic lakeside lodge is the perfect snow-bunny haven.

“Introduction to Backcountry Skiing/Riding” workshop

Free breakfast, craft cocktails and stunning lake views

is designed for experienced skiers or boarders and

are reason enough to stay even if your’e not skiing.

introduces them to backcountry skiing/riding just outside the resort. The resort also offers all-level private

6. Elevated Eats

backcountry touring workshops, as well as an intensive

Homewood dining is more than just an afterthought

three-day avalanche course designed to teach

or simply fuel before the ride. It’s a seasonal, gourmet

experienced skiers/riders how to safely travel avalanche

experience. At Westshore Cafe, hungry skiers and guests

terrain.

choose from a changing seasonal menu of chef’s creations, such as Dungeness Crab Cakes, Ricotta

9. Pocketbook Friendly

Gnocchi, or the West Shore Burger, made with local

Lift tickets at Homewood are substantially cheaper than

wagyu beef. (There’s also a children's menu available.)

many of the “big-name” Tahoe ski resorts, so skiers enjoy

The wine list is award winning, boasting accolades

all the fun of world-famous Lake Tahoe skiing without the

from Wine Spectator. There’s plenty of delicious dining

big price tag. Tickets purchased online, in advance, start

options on the mountain, as well, at The Madden Cafe

at $64 for an adult (19-61 Yrs-Old), $55 for a teen (13-18),

(coffee and pizza,) Big Blue View Bar (made-to-order

and just $45 for a child (5-12.)

burritos or grab’ n ’go fare,) 89 Bar & Grill (build-your-own sandwiches or salad) or Hofbrau (German-inspired food

10. Peace of Mind

truck eats.)

Have you ever fantasized about dropping the kids off for a half-day of skiing or boarding, and just hanging

7. Snow Play

back to relax, perhaps with a hot toddy or two? At

There’s much more fun to be had at Homewood in

Homewood, dreams happily become reality. This smaller-

addition to skiing and boarding. The “Snow Play &

scale ski park is just the right size for tweens and teens,

Sledding Hill” thrills guests of all ages. Riders can simply

and offers plenty of beginner and intermediate runs to

purchase a snow play ticket online, and then bring

entertain them for hours. Grownups can head just across

their own sled or rent a sled onsite. There’s a convenient

the street to enjoy a leisurely lakeside meal at West Shore

magic carpet that lifts guests to the top of the hill, so

Cafe and Inn knowing their wards are safe, secure and

they can spend all their energy on the fun part — racing

having an absolute blast. And unlike some ski parks,

downhill! Snow Play tickets are sold in two-hour sessions,

cell phone reception is not an issue, so everyone can

at 10 a.m., 12 p.m., or 2 p.m. Snowshoe tours and rentals

communicate seamlessly.

MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27

[ PARENTING ]

Betsy Brown Braun, best selling author of Just Tell Me What to Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts for Perplexed Parents (HarperCollins) and You’re Not The Boss Of Me: Brat proofing Your Four To Twelve Year Old (HarperCollins), is a child development and behavior specialist, parent educator, multiple birth parenting consultant, and founder of Parenting Pathways®, Inc. Her parenting expertise has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, U.S. News & World Report, Real Simple, American Baby, Cookie, Family Circle, Good Housekeeping, In Style, Parenting, Parents, Pregnancy and Newborn, Twins, Woman’s Day, and, Working Mother, Colorado Parent Magazine, Ohio Valley Parent Magazine among other publications.

She has shared her expertise on the Today Show multiple times.

Other television appearances have included Dr. Phil, Rachael Ray, The Early Show, Good Morning America, Entertainment Tonight, Fox & Friends, Hallmark’s Home and Family, KCBS, KNBC, and Fox News LA. She contributes to KNX news radio on child development, and has been a guest on countless radio programs nationwide, including NPR. www.betsybrownbraun.com

Smoothing The Re Entry Into School

by Betsy Brown Braun Some children are lucky enough to have already gone back to in-person school. But, sadly, many have not. Today the internet was alive with stories of more public schools soon being able to go back to in-person education.

Hallelujah!

While we would all love our children to run and jump headfirst into school, it may not be so easy for some. For each child and family it will be different.

Age is not necessarily the determining factor. The re entry transition has more to do with your child’s temperament, personality, sensitivity and context—that is, what has been each child’s experience while not at school. To top it off, each school will have a different protocol and procedure. Not only do we need to prepare our children to be patient and take it slowly, but we also need to prepare ourselves for the possibility that everything could again in the blink of an eye. Yikes!

28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

[ PARENTING ]

Younger children may actually need to go through that

Parents will be full of feelings that can easily leak.

initial separation process, the one that happens as the

Whether great glee or overflowing anxiety, our emotions

child starts pre-school. And children whose first time at

unchecked ooze out, and our children pick them up.

nursery school, kindergarten, or even middle school was

Young children, in particular, look to their parents as

virtual, who have never been to the school or met the

mirrors of how they should feel. Anxiety is contagious,

teacher in person, might have a bumpier road. They, too,

and I am sure you don’t want to add to the load your

will need to take it slowly.

child himself is experiencing.

During pandemic home school, children have grown

Just like starting school in the fall warrants consideration

accustomed to Mommy or Daddy or the nanny being

and preparation, so does re entering in-person school.

right there much of the time. Someone is available to

This transition could take time. You need to be patient

help, to support, to answer questions, to offer sustenance,

and allow it to evolve. It is not unlike getting into a very

to explain a challenge, to calm an emotional child, to

cold pool, one toe at a time. Pretty soon, your whole

provide encouragement. Some previously self-reliant

body is in, and off you go.

and resourceful children have regressed and grown dependent on immediately accessible adult help.

With the re entry here for some and coming into focus for

School will be a big change from that, indeed. Your kids

others, it’s time to think about how we can smooth the

will need to reinvigorate their school independence.

transition for our children. Below is a list of transition tips that I hope will be helpful.

Already anticipating going back to school, some children have churned up anxiety not previously seen.

Transition tips for school re entry:

They are uncomfortable with the unfamiliar. They are worried about who their friends will be. They are afraid

• Begin the transition back into school at least a full

that school is not a safe place, that they will contract

week before school starts. Remember going to

Covid while there. A nine-year-old boy told his mother

school is not a choice.

that he cannot sleep because he is worried that his mom will die from Covid while he is at school. There is a wide

• Gradually adjust your child’s bed times and waking

variety of fears, anxieties, worries, concerns that children

times to the times needed for in-person school. This

and parents are experiencing. Maybe we have done

time adjustment itself will take time.

too good a job teaching our children to be cautious and mindful, about the dangers of Covid. Have we created a monster?

Not only is it essential to tune into how the change to in-person school will affect our children, but we need

• Rope in your meal times, cutting back on the constant kitchen visits all day long.

• Make sure that your child’s school clothes fit… especially his shoes!

also to consider ourselves. For some parents, it will be a tremendous relief. The burden of having to care for

• Have fun getting his backpack ready as if it were

children 24/7 (in addition to everything else) will at last

September. Perhaps some school supply shopping is

be lifted. Others may feel out of sorts and out of control.

in order.

From being ever-present, they have come to know their children in new ways, seeing behaviors, habits, and styles

• Have conversations with excitement in your voice

previously unobserved. Having grown accustomed

about what is happening, but do not discount any

to being the engine, to being an integral of the child’s

worries your child may have. Validate her feelings.

school life, it may be unnerving and difficult to let go, giving up control. These parents will have to regain their trust of their child and of the system.

• Share that it his old school might feel different at first, but reassure him that it won’t always feel that way.

MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29

[ PARENTING ] She will grow more comfortable (like getting into a cold pool).

• Join your child in making a list of what might be the same and what might be different in her school.

Then visit the list after school.

• Make a video of your child expressing his questions out loud. After school play the video and let him answer himself.

• For the child who has not attended school in person, drive by the school a lot!

• If possible, visit the classroom and walk around the site in advance.

• Try to arrange to meet your child’s teacher. Knowing a teacher virtually is different familiarity from being in-person.

• Try to connect with a peer or two who will be in her class. It feels so good to have a friend.

• If your child is returning to in-school after others,

30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021

connect her with someone who has been there already. Her friend can provide reassurance about what it is like.

When School Resumes • Remember to put notes in your younger child’s lunch box. (Truth be told, the older ones won’t hate them!)

• Do more listening than talking both before and after your child goes back to school.

• Try not ask too many questions nor interview for pain.

The news will dribble out if you give it a chance.

• In the car and especially with your older children, ask, “Do you want to talk or just listen to music?” or maybe just share your own day.

• With your older child be sure to revisit your “house rules” to see if they are still applicable. Adjustments will likely need to be made. (free range screen time?) Go slowly and be reasonable.

Know that the transition and adjustment may take time…or not. It depends upon your child.

[ PARENTING ]

®

Preschool

Education is a Lifelong Commitment

®

Discover Quarry Lane

NOW ENROLLING Join our Open House every Wednesday! www.QuarryLane.org/Preschool

Toddler, Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten Academic-Based Curriculum Passionate, Experienced Educators

PLEASANTON WEST CAMPUS Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten 4444B Black Ave., Pleasanton, CA

925.462.6300

Full and Half Day Schedules Computer, Spanish, Music, P.E., and Library Two Preschool Campuses in Pleasanton

PLEASANTON EAST CAMPUS Toddler through Pre-Kindergarten 3750 Boulder St., Pleasanton, CA

925.846.9400

MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31 CA Licenses: 013411303, 013411304, 013411305, 013417681