MARCH 2021
Smoothing the Re-Entry Into School
TP l aHy f E ul
Parents
GUIDE TO
ROUGHHOUSING
TEN REASONS
TO SKI Homewood
Volume 8 / Issue 84
[ PARENTING ] How to Turn Tough Conversations Into Learning Opportunities
6
Smoothing The Re Entry Into School
Ten Reasons to Ski Homewood
24
28
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
[ TRAVEL ]
The Playful Parent’s Guide to Roughhousing
12
Summer Camp Guide
Valley of the Snow Kings — Epic Spring Skiing in Olympic Valley
18
8
12 2 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
28
8
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Amy McCready Dr. Laura Markham Betsy Brown Braun Elizabeth Kang
Travel Editor
Design/Production
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Editor’s Note The sun is shining, more daylight is on the way (March 14th to be exact) and summer is just around the corner! Can you tell we are excited? Our March issue launches our Summer Camp coverage. Now more than ever kids need to get active and get outside! There are so many options around the Bay and summer camp owners are working hard to implement the most stringent safety protocols to ensure our kids are kept safe and having fun! Do check out our Summer Camp Guide on page 18 and keep an eye out for upcoming open houses. Although summer is on our radar, Tahoe is still making snow and the resorts are open! Turn to page 8 and page 24 to read about some epic snow skiing and boarding options for the entire family and be sure to get up to the snow before it is all gone!
Wishing you all a wonderful Spring! Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com
4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
[ PARENTING ]
How to Turn Tough Conversations Into Learning Opportunities by Dr. Laura Markham Almost from the time our kids can talk, there are conflicts we need to work through with them: • An impending move ("I'm not going!") • Your six year old lying • Your nine year old flunking math • Your twelve year old using profanity on Instagram • Your fifteen year old getting drunk with his friends Starting out on the offensive will only slam the doors of communication. If you can control your emotions and keep the conversation safe, your child may be able to stop being defensive and start sharing. That’s when breakthroughs happen. The child actually sees the error of her ways and becomes motivated to repair things. (Unlike when we jump to blame and punishment, and the child assumes you never understand or care.) Here's how to master the art of the tough conversation.
Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone. You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.
1. Don't take it personally. • Your four year old screams "I hate you, Daddy!" • Your ten year old huffs "Mom, you never understand!" • Your teenager slams the door to her bedroom. What's the most important thing to remember? DON'T TAKE IT PERSONALLY! This isn't really about you. It's about them: their tangled up feelings, their difficulty controlling themselves, their immature ability to understand and express their emotions. When your child yells "You NEVER understand!" try to hear that as information about her -- at this moment she feels like she's never understood -- rather than about you. Taking it personally wounds you, which means you do what we all do when we’re hurt: either close off, or lash out, or both. Which just makes the situation less safe and escalates the drama. Your goal is the opposite: Safety and Calm. That's where connection and learning can happen. 2. Manage your own feelings and behavior. The only one you can control in this situation is yourself. That means you: • Take a deep breath. • Let the hurt go. Remind yourself that your child does in fact love you but can't get in touch with it at the moment. • Let the fear go. Remind yourself that while this feels like an emergency, it isn't. It's a learning opportunity for your child. (And for you!) • Try hard to remember what it feels like to be a kid who is upset and overreacting. • Notice if your “story” is making you upset (“But she lied to me!”) and
6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
[ PARENTING ] if necessary expand the story to change your emotional response: (“My child was so afraid of my reaction that she lied to me. I guess I need to look at how I respond when she tells me something I don't want to hear.”) • Consciously lower and slow your voice before you speak. Your goal is to calm the storm, not inflame it. 3. Always start the conversation by acknowledging your child’s perspective. That takes him off the defensive so he can hear you. Let him take off from your comments to correct and elaborate. Before you state your own views, reflect his corrections so he knows you understand his point of view. 4. Extend respect. Remember that more than one perspective can be true at once. Assume your child has a reason for her views or behavior. It may not be what you would consider a good reason, but she has a reason. If you want to understand her, you’ll need to extend her the basic respect of trying to see things from her point of view. Say whatever you need to say and then close your mouth and listen. 5. Reconnect with your love and empathy for your child. You can still set limits, but do it from as calm a place as you can muster. Your child will be deeply grateful, even if he can't acknowledge it at the moment. I'm not suggesting that you let your child treat you disrespectfully. I'm suggesting that you recognize any disrespect as an expression of hurt, fear or frustration. Listen to the message underneath the rudeness. Wait until you can act out of love, rather than anger, before you set limits. 6. Keep the conversation safe for everyone. People can’t hear when they’re upset. If they don’t feel safe, they generally withdraw or attack. If you notice your child getting angry, scared or hurt, back up and reconnect. Remind him– and yourself – how much you love him, and that you’re committed to finding a solution that works for everyone. 7. Try hard to avoid making your child defensive. • Use “I” statements to describe your feelings (“It scares me when you’re late and don’t call” instead of "You're so irresponsible not to call!") • Describe the situation. (“This report card is much worse than your previous report cards” instead of "This is a terrible report card!")
• Give information. (“Our neighbor Mrs. Brown says that you were smoking in the back yard” instead of "Are you smoking?") 8. Ask questions instead of lecturing, which is the best way to keep your child receptive. Here are two of the most valuable questions you can ask to help your child develop good judgment and make better choices in the future: • "Was there some part of you that knew this was a bad idea?" • "Why didn't you listen to that part of you?" 9. Summon your sense of humor. A light touch almost magically diffuses tension. 10. Remember that expressing anger just makes you more angry ...because it reinforces your position that you’re right and the other person is wrong. Instead, notice your anger and use it as a signal of what needs to change, and take constructive action. For instance, rather than throwing a tantrum because the kids aren’t helping around the house, use your anger as a motivator to implement a new system of chores – one they help design -- that will help prevent the situation in the future. 11. Wait until there's been a reconnection before you ask your child to come up with a repair plan. For instance, if your child has ruptured the trust between you, he has some repair work to do. But he won't be be motivated to do that until he sees the cost of his actions. First connect. Then brainstorm repair with him. 12. Hold the intention that working through a conflict in a way that meets everyone's needs can actually bring you closer to your child. This doesn't happen if we enter the conversation intent on winning. But if we approach a difficult discussion with clarity about our true purpose -- nurturing this developing human -- we create an opening for something new to happen. If we're open to really hearing our child's side of things, and to meeting our child with love even while we're clear about the behavior we need to see, new possibilities for connection will appear. That may seem impossible when everyone is upset. But intimacy deepens or is eroded by every interaction we have. Every problem is a chance to shift onto a positive track and deepen your connection to your child. MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 7
[ TRAVEL ]
[ TRAVEL ]
Valley of the Snow Kings - Epic
Spring Skiing in Olympic Valley by Elizabeth Kang
The spring ski season is my absolute favorite time of year
delicious on-site restaurants, comfortable lodging, and
to hit the slopes in Northern California. There’s nothing
breathtaking scenery. (There are currently plans to build
like flying down the mountain in a short-sleeved shirt,
a interconnecting gondola to connect the two ski parks
with the sun warming your back and plenty of powdery
for easy back and forth access between the two parks.
soft snow beneath your ski’s. We are so fortunate to live just a few-hour’s drive from one of the best spring
SAFETY FIRST
ski destinations in the world — Squaw Valley Alpine
*As with most ski resorts in the area, Squaw Valley and
Meadows.
Alpine Meadows are adhering to strict Covid-19 safety protocols, which include mandatory face masks required
Nestled between Truckee and Lake Tahoe in the world-
in all common public areas, including on the ski lifts,
famous Olympic Valley, Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows
gondolas, outdoor village areas, and on the slopes.
is a world-class ski destination that should be on every snow-lover’s bucket list. A haven for both adrenaline
*Social distancing is encouraged throughout the ski
junkies and laid-back families, these two epic ski resorts
resorts and lift riders are only allowed to ride with
boast breathtaking natural beauty, and some of the best
members of the same household or “social bubble.”
skiing in the world. With a ski season that can run into July on a good year, Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows offers
*Purchasing a lift ticket must be done in advance, as the
a spring ski season like no other, with the most ski-able
resorts are limiting the number of people allowed on the
acreage in North America.
slopes in an effort to reduce capacity.
Voted USA Today’s Reader’s Choice “Best Ski Resort in
*Many eateries offer easy online ordering from the
North America,” Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows are
Squaw Valley/Alpine Meadows App, so you can pick
actually two separate ski destinations, each with their
up your food when it’s ready and eat outside, or in the
own character and vibe, both located next to each
safety and comfort of your lodging.
other in Olympic Valley. (Purchasing a lift ticket to either ski park gives you access to ski both parks.) While both
SNOW ACTIVITIES
ski parks offer a vibrant ski culture and picturesque
*Skiing and Snowboarding is offered every day of the
views, some prefer the smaller, more intimate family
week, but I highly recommend going midweek if you can
friendly vibe of Alpine Meadows, while others enjoy the
swing it, when the crowds are much more sparse, and
grander scale of Squaw Valley. Squaw Valley and Alpine
the prices are a steal. With over 6,000 skiable acres and
Meadows are both only a 5-10 minute drive to the lake
34 lifts across both ski parks, there’s always new terrain
and offer awesome skiing and snowboarding for all
to explore and dozens of runs to experience at Squaw
levels.
Valley Alpine Meadows.
You can’t go wrong with either choice. Both offer ski
*Booking midweek lodging gets you discounted lift
and snowboarding lessons for ages 3-yrs-old to adult,
tickets, and the resort offers an awesome “midweek 4 MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9
[ TRAVEL ]
pack” deal where guests can get lots of consecutive ski
tours.
days in — the best way to learn — on the cheap. Plus, going midweek ensures that you won’t be fighting that
SPACIOUS LODGING
dreaded weekend Bay Area/ Tahoe traffic.
*The Village at Squaw Valley offers spacious and comfortable lodging right in the heart of the village, just
*For those seeking alternative snow fun, both resorts offer
a short walk to the slopes. From Studio units to One, two
snow tubing, (children must be at least 40” tall,) and
or three bedroom suites, there are accommodations to
Cross-Country/Nordic Skiing. Squaw Valley also offers
suite any size group or family.
snowmobiling, and even mini snowmobiling for kids ages 6-12 yrs-old. Other snow activities offered at Squaw
*Boasting private balconies overlooking mountain and
include snowshoeing, sledding, and guided backcountry
village views, along with convenient underground
10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
[ TRAVEL ] parking, The Village at Squaw Valley offers the most
serves up family friendly eats such as burgers, fries, and
convenient location to ski and board.
nachos, along with signature drinks and craft beer.
*Most suites offer full gourmet kitchens, cozy fireplaces,
*Wildflour Baking Company is located in Olympic House
and ski lockers to store all your gear, and under normal
at Squaw Valley and serves to-die-for fresh-baked
circumstances (outside of Covid-19), relaxing community hot tubs are available for guests’ use. The rooms and suites are modern and updated, with plenty of space for the whole family to stretch out and relax. FAMILY FRIENDLY DINING *Fireside Pizza Co. is a popular venue located right inside
cookies, along with breakfast fare and light lunch choices. Their house-made bagels are a favorite with staff and hungry skiers alike.
*Tremigo Mexican Kitchen & Tequila Bar is a lively restaurant with outdoor seating and great fish tacos,
The Village at Squaw and offers delicious pizza (gluten
along with specialty tequila drinks. Don’t miss their
free crusts available) that both kids and adults enjoy, as
warming and rich “Molcajete,” a delicious Mexican
well as hearty salads and pastas.
stew served in a traditional lava stone bowl, perfect for sharing. Grab n Go breakfast burritos are available in the
*Rocker@Squaw, also located in the Village at Squaw,
mornings.
MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11
[ PARENTING ]
The Playful Parent’s Guide to Roughhousing by Dr. Meg Meeker Crash! You wince as the sound of glass smashing onto the hardwood floor echoes from the living room. Quickly, you run into the room, pretty sure you know what scene you’re about to come across. Just as you suspected, there lies your favorite crystal vase, shattered to pieces amidst a sea of wilting flowers. Your children stare at you from their spot on the ground, arms entangled, waiting for your reaction. You open your mouth but don’t know what to say. A million things come to mind… Dr. Meeker is a pediatrician, who has practiced pediatric and adolescent medicine for 25 years. She is the author of six books including the best-selling Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: Ten Secrets Every Father Should Know; Boys Should Be Boys; Your Kids At Risk;, The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity; Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: The 30 Day Challenge and Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men, (Ballantine) April 2014. She is a popular speaker on pediatric health issues and child-parent relationships.
Look at what you did! How many times have I told you not to roughhouse? Why don’t you ever listen? You need to play nicely! Instead, you hold back and take a deep breath. Sure, controlling your temper is proving to be rather challenging–after all, you must have asked them not to roughhouse at least fifty times (this week!). But as the saying goes, this isn’t your first rodeo. And if there’s one thing you’ve learned time and time again, it’s this: yelling won’t help. But what can you do?
Dr. Meeker is co-host and physicianin-residence of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk Radio. She is also Assistant Clinical Professor at Michigan State University College of Human Medicine and currently teaches medical students and physicians in residency training. She is board certified with the American Board of Pediatrics and is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Dr. Meeker serves on the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute. She has been married to her husband, Walter for 32 years. They have shared a medical practice for over 20 years. They have three grown daughters and a grown son. She lives in northern Michigan.
First off, friend, let me assure you, I know exactly how you feel. You’ve given everything you have to be the best parent you can be. You’ve taken the classes, read the parenting books, and listened to all the experts. Yet, when you find your children roughhousing (again), you feel a little hopeless. Isn’t there something you can do to make it stop? But let’s pause for a moment. Now, I know from the outside looking in, roughhousing appears, well–ROUGH! It seems so brutal and violent. Not to mention heart-stopping (I mean, really. Do they want to go to the hospital?). We can’t possibly let our children act that way…right?
12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
[ PARENTING ] Believe it or not, the answer is yes. We can let them act
Here’s the thing…it’s not your job to stop the rough and
that way!
tumble play. But it is your job to teach your children to partake in the right way.
Because the truth is, roughhousing–when done right–is NOT a bad thing. It actually has some fantastic benefits!
Follow these tips to make sure your kids’ roughhousing stays playful, fun, and harmless!
Let me explain… TIPS FOR ROUGHHOUSING THE RIGHT WAY The Science of Roughhousing Roughhousing–or as some call it, “Rough and Tumble
Tip #1: Know the Difference Between Play Fighting and
Play”–looks a bit sketchy on the outside (especially to
Real Fighting
us moms–yikes!). But science tells us there are numerous benefits to this type of play.
You’re standing at the kitchen sink, multitasking as usual. As your hands wash the dishes, your eyes keep darting
In fact, in their book The Art of Roughhousing: Good
out the window, checking on your kids playing in the
Old-Fashioned Horseplay and Why Every Kid Needs It,
backyard.
Drs. Anthony DeBenedet and Lawrence Cohen suggest that roughhousing has both intellectual AND connective
Your oldest is jumping on the trampoline with his little
benefits.
brother, and the two are getting along well. After a year spent at home together through the pandemic, you take
You see, when our kids are roughhousing, their
this as a huge win.
brains release a chemical known as a brain-derived neurotrophic factor (BDNF). You can think of this as a
Of course, you look down to grab another dish only
type of fertilizer that stimulates brain growth.
to glance up a few seconds later to find things have
How neat is that?!
changed…drastically.
Each time they start horsing around playfully, their brains
Suddenly, the two boys are no longer happily bouncing
are treated to a healthy boost of stimulation that will not
up and down. Instead, they’re rolling across the
only lead to stronger intellectual and social development
trampoline, arms entangled, legs thrashing. Your oldest
but will help them learn to regulate their emotional
puts his brother in a headlock and messes up his hair, but
responses as well.
the little guy soon wiggles free and jumps on his brother’s back.
This type of rough play between kids or with parents is also an excellent way to build connections with others.
Naturally panicked, you run outside to put a stop to the
When done the right way–with both parties having a
fighting. However, upon closer inspection, you notice
good time playing–the brain releases a significant dose
things look a little different. Are the boys actually…
of oxytocin.
laughing?
You know oxytocin–the hormone that gives you all those
From afar, it’s easy to understand how play fighting can
warm, loving feelings? It’s the same thing that’s released
be mistaken for real fighting. After all, it’s still technically
when we share a hug or snuggle our kiddos.
fighting.
Seeing your kids playing so wildly may give your heart
But there are key differences between the two. And
quite the fright, and the thought of joining in? Forget
when you learn to recognize the signs, it’s much easier to
about it! But you can rest assured knowing there are a lot
accept roughhousing for what it is–another form of play!
of benefits resting just below the surface.
When kids are play fighting, “attacks” are simulated and MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13
[ PARENTING ] “held back.” By that, I simply mean they’re pretend.
firm shove to the ground. On come the waterworks.
It looked like your oldest had his brother in a severe
And you just know what you’ve been worried about all
headlock, but up close, his grip was actually loose
this time has suddenly come true. Someone has gotten
enough to let him easily slip out.
hurt.
When fighting for play, punches are softened, tackles
Now I know your first instinct may be to ban them from
are less aggressive, and attitudes are usually pretty
ever horsing around again. But try and hold off. Because,
cheerful. And afterward, there are no hard feelings.
like it or not, trying to force your will is nothing but a recipe for power struggles.
When kids fight for real, however, all the rules go out the window.
Instead, try establishing some ground rules.
Happy shrieks are traded for angry cries. The intention of
In a calm moment, perhaps during a family meeting
fun is replaced with a desire to harm. And when the fight
or somewhere else away from the chaos, make it a
is over, anger remains.
priority to create your family’s own ground rules for roughhousing.
As a parent, you know your children better than anyone. And I’d be willing to bet you have a pretty good
These can be anything you see fit, though certain rules
understanding of when they’re fighting for play versus
are probably a given. For instance:
when they’ve entered a full-on knock-down-drag-out match.
• Consent is the number one priority! Any participation in roughhousing should be agreed
So keep an eye out, and listen to your gut. By knowing
upon by all involved. AND the moment one party no
and watching for the difference between the two
longer wants to play, the roughhousing should end.
types of play, you’re setting yourself (and your kids) up for understanding the key to successful and safe roughhousing.
• Be nice! Just because the play is rough does not mean it can’t be nice. That means no hitting, kicking, biting, etc., that is rough enough to cause
Tip #2: Establish Ground Rules “Last one in the house is a rotten egg!”
physical harm. • Pick a safe space. Roughhousing right next to mom’s favorite vase is probably not the best idea. Out in
Your 7-year-old daughter takes off in a sprint, racing
the yard or downstairs on a playmat? Much better!
her older sister toward the house. They’ve been playing outside all morning and are more than ready to eat
Once you have your rules finalized, the next step is to
when you call them in for dinner.
utilize this fantastic tool from our toolbox–Take Time for Training.
However, just as she’s about to reach the front steps, her sister catches up and latches onto her shirt. They push
Rules are hard, and they take time to learn–especially
and pull, and the younger girl is clearly trying to get
for kids. So make sure you aren’t setting your
away when…RIIIIIP!
expectations too high right out of the gate.
“Hey, you ruined my shirt!”
Will they forget one of the rules? Probably. But that’s why we take time to train them. Eventually, the knowledge
Your youngest is red in the face as she gives her sister a 14 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
will seep in, and they’ll catch on.
[ PARENTING ] Tip #3: Make it About Connection
What a win!
Imagine, if you will…
Tip #4: Keep it Playful
You’ve completed The 7-Step Parenting Success System,
For kids, more than anything else, roughhousing is
and of all the tools in the toolbox, Mind, Body, and Soul
downright fun!
Time (MBST) is your absolute favorite! Those 10-15 minutes you spend each day with your son one-on-one are the
They enjoy the movement, the laughter, and the
best 10-15 minutes of the entire day.
connection it brings, which explains why you may be finding it next to impossible to put a stop to in your
It’s your husband’s favorite tool, as well. But his MBST
household.
with your son looks a little different from yours. And, sometimes, that has you worried.
Just remember, stopping the roughhousing isn’t the goal. Maintaining that playfulness, however, absolutely
Because, while the two of you enjoy reading comic
is. Because, unfortunately, the jump from playful to
books, building LEGO sets, and drawing pictures, he and
aggressive isn’t a very long one.
your husband have a different daily ritual. I’m sure you’ve been there, watching your children They fight. Well, play fight, that is.
wrestling on the playroom floor. One second they’re all laughing and giggles; the next, they’re screaming and
Every day, the moment your son steps foot off the school
crying because one child pushed the other a little too
bus, you know what’s about to go down. Or should I say,
hard.
throw down? Your instinct may be to put a stop to it that very instant. Right there on the front lawn, for all the world to see, they
And, if safety is a concern, you absolutely should. But I’d
wrestle. They shove. They fight.
challenge you to play a little more offense if you can and
But you know what else they do? Bond!
go in with the mindset of preventing a downward spiral altogether.
Believe it or not, roughhousing paves the way to building a deeper connection with your child. (It works great for
And the best way to do so is to take an active role in
siblings to connect, as well!)
keeping it playful.
To make it simple, set your mind right by entering into
Try some encouragement!
the Child Ego State, where emotional connections are made. No longer are you the parent whose job is to
“Look at how much fun you two are having!”
maintain rules and keep order. You’re there to have fun! “Wow! You have so much energy! It’s great to see you And when you’re having fun with your child, you’re not
playing so nicely.”
only meeting their hard-wired need for attention–you’re building memories that last a lifetime!
Of course, if you’re roughhousing alongside them, you have a fantastic opportunity to model good behavior.
As a bonus, enjoying a deep level of connection not only
Keep smiling, laughing, and mentioning how much fun
makes you a happier, less stressed parent; it also cuts
you’re having. Also, pay close attention to ensure you
down on the amount of misbehavior you see coming
never let your size and strength become intimidating or
from your child.
scary. MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15
[ PARENTING ] The truth of the matter is, if you’re in a playful mindset,
the roughhousing.
your kids will most likely follow. Which is a fantastic way to ensure this fun pastime stays precisely that–FUN!
You can do this by laying out your expectations in advance. This will avoid blindsiding them and prepare
Tip #5: Know When to (Calmly) Rein It In
them to settle down without feeling as though they are being nagged.
It’s so easy, especially in the heat of the moment, for things to take a turn for the worse. Feelings get hurt,
Perhaps try, “Alright, we are running out of time before
tempers flare, and everything else seems to disintegrate
we have to go eat dinner. Let’s play for one more
very quickly.
minute, and then we can have dinner. You must be so hungry!”
Fortunately, there are a few clues you can look for that are pretty good indicators things are about to head south. Are the smiles and giggles becoming fewer and further between? Are the shoves getting harder? Is the room feeling less fun? What about body language? Look for scowls, furrowed brows, even a lack of eye contact. When the atmosphere in the room turns from fun-filled to on-edge, that’s a sure sign that trouble is brewing. One of the most beautiful things about roughhousing is that it allows children to strengthen their awareness of their bodies as well as learn to respect the boundaries of others. Of course, when boundaries are crossed and the joy begins to leave the playtime, be aware, and prepare
There’s a reason why Calm Voice is one of the top Positive Parenting Solutions tools in the toolbox–it works! And when it comes to roughhousing, staying calm (even when everything inside you is trying to freak out) will always prove to be beneficial in the long run. But here’s what not to do: jump in too soon, if you can possibly help it. Not only do you want to give them a chance to figure out for themselves when to make an exit or call a playful truce, but you also don’t want to get in the habit of helicoptering their interactions. FINAL THOUGHTS As hard as it may be, now is the time to put away those preconceived notions you may have of roughhousing. We now have so much evidence that tells us, when done correctly, rough play can be a significant asset to
to rein it in.
our children and to us as well!
Should you see any of the warning signs, politely shut it
It’s physically and emotionally stimulating, and
down before anything serious happens. It’s up to you to
connective beyond measure. Of course, as with
know your kids and their limits.
anything our children do, precautions must be taken.
In a calm voice, say, “Hey kids, I can see you aren’t
But you can rest assured, as your children mutually
having as much fun as you were before. Let’s take a
wrestle out in the yard or jump on your partner the
break for a while and go have a snack.”
moment he walks in the door, what may seem like a risky form of play is nothing to worry about.
Or perhaps you simply have something else coming up that will require the rough play to end. You can get
In fact, it’s absolutely normal.
ahead of the curve (and avoid unnecessary power struggles) by calmly preparing your children to stop with 16 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
Have fun playing!
[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]
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[ SUMMER CAMP ]
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SUMMER
CAMPS
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www.vivaelespanol.org • 925-962-9177
Lafayette • Pleasanton • And schools all over the Bay Area
PERSONALIZED INSTRUCTION FOR ADULTS, CHILDREN AND TODDLERS.
ZOOCAMP
SUMMER CAMPS & HORSEMANSHIP CLINICS
.............................................
Coaching for the beginner and competitive show rider. CALL NOW FOR MORE INFO:
925.960.9696
............................................. Ask for:
Samantha Lazone & Barbara EnDean •
5111 Dolan Rd, Livermore CA 94551
www.showstables.com
REGISTRATION NOW OPEN! oaklandzoo.org
18 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
Programs available at
Donald Rheem School Moraga
A traditional summer camp experience
Celebrating Years
925.937.6500 • Adventuredaycamp.com MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y
19
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Summer Alameda County ALAMEDA Alameda School of Music 1307 High St. 510.769.0195 www.alamusic.org
Camp Bladium 800 West Tower Ave 510.814.4999 www.bladiumalameda.com/ youth-kids/kids-camps
BERKELEY Music Discovery Workshop 2005 Berryman St. 510.528.1725 www.sfems.org
St. John’s Camp Elmwood 2727 College Ave. 510.845.6830 www.stjohnsberkeley.org/ campelmwood
Sticky Art Lab 1682 University Ave. 510.981.1148 www.stickyartlab.com
City of Dublin 100 Civic Plaza 925.556.4500 www.ci.dublin.ca.us
Young Writers Camp UC Berkeley Campus 510.642.0971
Valley Christian School 7500 Inspiration Dr. 925.560.6270
www.bawpwritingcamp.org
www.ValleyChristianSchools.org
Green Stuff Summer Camp UC Berkeley Botanical Gardens 510.643.4832
Edge Gymnastics Training Center 6780 Sierra Court St. K 925.479.9904
www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu
www.edge-gymnastics.com
Lawrence Hall of Science UC Berkeley 510.642.5134
Kidz Kraftz Quail Creek Cir. 925.271.0015
www.lawrencehallofscience.org
www.kidzkraftz.com/camps
BERKELEY/ECHO LAKE
Tri-Valley YMCA 6693 Sierra Ln 925.263.4444
Berkeley Echo Lake Camp Lot #7 Echo Lakes Rd 530.659.7539 www.cityofberkeley.info/camps
CASTRO VALLEY Skye Valley Training Camp 10250 Crow Canyon Rd 925.858.8825 www.psi.lunariffic.com/~skyev0/
Sarah’s Science 21525 Knoll Way 510.581.3739 www.sarahscience.com
Camp Kee Tov 1301 Oxford St. 510.842.2372 www.campkeetov.org
Bee Best Learning 20394 San Miguel Ave. 510.728.2110 www.beebestlearning.com
Habitot 2065 Kittredge St. 510.647.1111 ext. 14 www.habitot.org/museum/ activities_camps.html
Monkey Business Camp 2880A Sacramento St. 510.540.6025
www.trivalley.ymcaeastbay.org
Extended Day Child Care 8435 Davona Dr. 925.829.4043 & 7997 Vomac Rd. 925.551.8170 7243 Tamarack Dr. 925.833.0127 & 5301 Hibernia Dr. 925.803.4154 & 3300 Antone Way 925.826.5538 www.extendeddaychildcare.com
Quarry Lane School 6363 Tassajara Rd. 925.829.8000
DUBLIN
www.quarrylane.org
East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 4651 Gleason Dr. 925.479.9670
FREMONT
www.eastbayspca.org/camp
www.monkeybusinesscamp.com
20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
Learning Bee Summer Camp 39977 Mission Blvd. 510.226.8408 www.learningbeeusa.com
Ohlone for Kids 43600 Mission Blvd. 510.659.6000 www.ohlone.edu/org/ ohloneforkids
HAYWARD Hayward Area Recreation Park District (H.A.R.D.) Day Camps 510.881.6700 www.haywardrec.org
LIVERMORE Horizons East Equestrian Center 5111 Doolan Rd. 925.960.9696 www.showstables.com
Roy’s Magic Camp 2466 8th St. 925.455.0600 www.magiccamp.org
Camp Arroyo Taylor Family Foundation 5535 Arroyo Rd. 925.371.8401 www.ebparks.org/activities/ daycamps/parks_camp_arroyo
Saddle to Ride Topline Training, Inc. 4180 Greenville Rd. 925.858.3933 www.saddle2ride.com
Xtreme Force Dance Company 847 Rincon Ave. 925.455.6054 www.xtremeforcedanceco.com
Double Diamond Sports Academy 2272 Research Dr. 925.830.9765 www. doublediamondsportsacademy. com
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Camps Valley Montessori 1273 N. Livermore Ave. 925.455.8021
MOCHA Summer Camp 1625 Clay St. 510.465.8770
Contra Costa County
www.valleymontessorischool.com
www.mocha.org
OAKLAND
PLEASANTON
Lakeshore Children’s Center 3534 Lakeshore Ave. 510.893.4048
Gingerbread Preschool 4333 Black Ave. 925.931.3430
City of Antioch Parks and Recreation 213 “F” St 925.776.7070
www.lakeshorechildrenscenter.org
www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us/services/ recreation/gb/gbhome.html
Urban Adventure Camp 5701 Cabot Dr. 510.339.0676 www.urbanadventurecamps.com
Extended Day Child Care 5199 Black Ave. 925.846.5519 www.extendeddaychildcare.com
East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 8323 Baldwin St. 510.569.0702 www.eastbayspca.org/camp
Quarry Lane School - East 3750 Boulder St. 925.846.9400 www.quarrylane.org
California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 4660 Harbord Dr. 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html
Oakland Summer ZooCamp 9777 Golf Links Rd. 510.632.9525 www.oaklandzoo.org
Lake Merritt Boating Center Youth Boating Camps 568 Bellevue Ave. 510.238.2196 www.sailoakland.com
Raskob Learning Institute 3520 Mountain Blvd. 510.436.1275 www.raskobinstitute.org
Kids N’ Dance 3840 Macarthur Blvd. 510.531.4400 www.kidsndance.com
Quarry Lane School - West 4444B Black Ave. 925.462.6300 www.quarrylane.org
ANTIOCH
www.ci.antioch.ca.us/Recreation
Four Stars Gymnastics Academy 1799 Vineyard Dr. 925.778.8650 www.fourstarsgym.com
CONCORD City of Concord Parks and Recreation 925.671.3404 www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps
Camp Concord in South Lake Tahoe 1000 Mt. Tallac Trailhead Rd South Lake Tahoe 530.541.1203
Yang Fan Academy 4160 Hacienda Dr. St. 100 925.699.4664
www.ci.concord.ca.us/recreation/ camp
www.yfacademy.org
Backyard Explorers Corner of Babel Ln & Cowell Rd. 925.671.3118
City of Pleasanton Summer Programs 200 Old Bernal Ave. 925.931.3436
DANVILLE City of Danville Camps 420 Front St. 925.314.3400 www.danville.ca.gov/Recreation/ Camps
Vision Tech Camps 117 Town & Country Dr. St. B 925.699.9602 www.visiontechcamps.com
Athenian Summer Programs at Athenian School 2100 Mt. Diablo Scenic Blvd 925.837.5375 www.athenian.org
Color Bundles 301 Hartz Ave. #104 925.727.3137 www.colorbundles.com
Camp Brainy Bunch 741 Brookside Dr. 510.548.4800 www.campbrainybunch.com
Quest Therapeutic Camps Charlotte Wood Middle School 600 El Captain Dr. 925.743.2900 www.questcamps.com
www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps/backyardexp.htm
www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us
Expressions Dance & Art 3015 Hopyard Rd. Ste. I 925.200.9908 www.expressions-dance-arts.com/
Young Ivy Academy 5460 Sunol Blvd (#3) 925.548.0188 www.youngivyacademy.com
Inspire Music Academy 2340 Santa Rita Rd. Ste. 7 925.461.3266 www.inspiremusicacademy.com
MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Summer LAFAYETTE California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 1000 Upper Happy Valley Rd 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html
Kids N’ Dance 3369 Mt. Diablo 925.284.7388 www.kidsndance.com
Sienna Ranch 3232 Deer Hill Rd. 925.283.6311 www.siennaranch.net
Sherman Swim School 1075 Carol Ln. 925.283.2100 www.shermanswim.com
www.frenchforfun.com
Lafayette Tennis Club 3125 Camino Diablo 925.937.2582 www.lafayettetennis.com
Husky House for Kids 3855 Happy Valley Rd. 925.283.7100 www.huskyhouseforkids.org/ summer-camp-programs
Lafayette Community Center Camps 500 Saint Mary’s Rd. 925.284.2232 www.lafayetterec.org
Roughing It Day Camp 1010 Oak Hill Rd. 925.283.3795 www.roughingit.com
BandWorks Summer Camp 28 Orinda Way 925.254.2445 www.bandworks.com/summer_ orinda.php
Orinda Academy 19 Altarinda Rd. 925.478.4504
Lindsay Wildlife Museum Summer Science Camp 1931 First Ave. 925.935.1978 www.wildlife-museum.org
Camp ARF for Kids 2890 Mitchell Dr. 925.256.1273 www.youth.arf.net
Merriewood Children’s Center 561 Merriewood Dr. 925.284.2121
www.orindaacademy.org
Camp Doodle 66 St. Stephens Dr.
City of Walnut Creek Summer Camps 1666 North Main St. 925.943.5899
www.merriewood.org
www.campdoodles.com
www.walnut-creek.org
MARTINEZ
PLEASANT HILL
John Muir Mountain Day Camp John Muir National Historic Site 925.680.8807
City of Pleasant Hill Camps 147 Gregory Ln 925.682.0896
Castle Rock Arabians 1350 Castle Rock Rd. 925.933.3701
www.johnmuirassociation.org/ muircamp/index.php
French For Fun 3381 Mt. Diablo Blvd 925.283.9822
ORINDA
Rancho Saguaro 1050 Pereira Rd. 925.788.5200 www.ranchosaguaro.com
MORAGA Gaels Summer Camp 1928 St Mary’s Rd. 925.631.4FUN www.smcgaels.com
Camp Saklan 1678 School St. 925.376.7900 www.saklan.org/about-us/campsaklan
OAKLEY City of Oakley Parks and Recreation 3231 Main St. 925.625.7044 www.ci.oakley.ca.us
Diamond Hills Sports Club 1510 Neroly Rd. 925.420.4575 www.sparetimeclubs.com
22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
www.castlerockarabians.com
www.pleasanthillrec.com
PITTSBURG City of Pittsburg Parks and Recreation 300 Presido Ln. 925.252.4842 www.ci.pittsburg.ca.us
SAN RAMON City of San Ramon Camps 2226 Camino Ramon 925.973.2500 www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us
School of Rock San Ramon 460 Montgomery Street 925.415.3340 510.207.9281 bit.ly/SORsanramoncamps
Adventure Day Camp Dorris-Eaton School One Annabel Lane 925.937.6500 www.adventuredaycamp.com
WALNUT CREEK Adventure Day Camp Seven Hills School 975 North San Carlos Dr. 925.937.6500 www.adventuredaycamp.com
Multiple Locations The Growing Room Academy Various locations around the Bay Offers: 3,4 and 5 Day Camps 925.837.4392 www.thegrowingroom.org
Camp Rocks: Girl Scouts of Northern California Offered at 5 locations: San Rafael (Camp Bothin), Santa Cruz (Skylark Ranch), San Jose (Camp Metro Day Camp), North Lake Tahoe (Deer Lake), and the Sierra Nevada Mountains (Sugar Pine) 800.447.4475 ext. 2091 www.camprocks.org
Mad Science Camp Offered at several local Recreation sites and Community Centers 925.687.1900 www.mtdiablo.madscience.org
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Camps Steve and Kate’s Camp Danville, Dublin, Fremont, Oakland, Walnut Creek and Berkeley 415.389.5437 www.steveandkatescamp.com
Camp Galileo Alameda, Alamo, Berkeley, San Ramon, Walnut Creek, Fremont, Oakland, Lafayette and Orinda 510.595.7293
Lango Language Summer Camps Serving Alamo, Blackhawk, Brentwood, Briones, Canyon, Clayton, Concord, Danville, Martinez, Moraga, Orinda, Pacheco, Pittsburg, Pleasant Hill, San Ramon, Walnut Creek and surrounding regions 888.445.2646 www.langokids.com/parent/kidslanguage-summer-camps
Out of Area Golden Arrow Camps 644 Pollasky Avenue, Ste. 100 Clovis, 93612 800.554.CAMP www.goldarrowcamp.com
Coppercreek Camp 1887 Williams Valley Rd. Greenville, 95947 800.350.0006 www.coppercreek.com
www.galileo-learning.com
KinderCare Walnut Creek, Concord, Danville, Martinez and Clayton 888.523.6765 www.kindercare.com/ summercamp
Viva el Espanol! Lafayette, Piedmont, Pleasanton & San Anselmo 925.962.9177 www.vivaelespanol.org/ summerprograms.php
Club Sport Fremont, San Ramon, Pleasanton and Walnut Creek 925.938.8700 www.clubsports.com
Camp Edmo Alameda, Fremont, and Oakland 415.282.6673 www.campedmo.org
Kids’ Carpentry Berkeley, Lafayette, Alameda, Oakland, Alamo & Walnut Creek 510.524.9232
Stratford School Summer Sports Camp & Enrichment Danville, Fremont, Los Gatos, Morgan Hill and Pleasanton 925.737.0001
www.kidscarpentry.com
www.stratfordschools.com
www.techknowhowkids.com
Sky hawk’s Sports Camp Various locations around the Bay Area 800.804.3509
iD Tech Camp Moraga, Concord, Livermore, Berkeley and other Bay Area locations www.idtech.com
www.skyhawks.com
TechKnowHow Kids Dublin, Berkeley, Fremont, Livermore, Oakland & Pleasanton 650.638.0500
Camp Unalayee 3921 East Bayshore Rd. Palo Alto 650.969.6313 www.unalayee-summer-camp.com
CYO Summer Camp 2136 Bohemian Hwy Occidental, 95465 707.874.0200 www.camp.cccyo.org
Mountain Camp Woodside 302 Portola Rd. Portola Valley 650.576.2267 www.mountaincampwoodside.com
SF Zoo Camp Sloat Blvd. & the Great Highway San Francisco 415.753.7080 www.sfzoo.org Almaden Equestrian Center 20100 Almaden Rd. San Jose 408.927.0232 www.almadenequestriancenter.net
Silver Creek Sportsplex 800 Embedded Way San Jose 408.224.8774 www.gotoplex.com
College For Kids 1700 W. Hillsdale Blvd. San Mateo 650.574.6149 www.collegeforkids-smccd.com
School of Rock Summer Camp 711 South B St. San Mateo, San Jose & Palo Alto 650.347.3474 www.schoolofrock.com
Camp Tawonga 131 Steuart Ste. 460 San Francisco 415.543.2267 www.tawonga.org
Kennolyn Camps 8205 Glen Haven Rd. Soquel 831.479.6714 www.kennolyncamps.com
888.709.8324
MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23
[ TRAVEL ]
24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
[ TRAVEL ]
10 REASONS TO SKI
HOMEWOOD MOUNTAIN RESORT by Elizabeth Kang
1. Prime Location
3. Safety Commitments
Homewood Mountain Resort boasts a prime location
Homewood takes guest safety seriously, and has been
right across from breathtaking West Lake Tahoe in
working hard to implement and enforce Covid-19 safety
Homewood, where guests can experience old-town
precautions. This includes requiring that guests wear
charm far removed from the South Tahoe party scene
face masks in all public areas, both inside and outside,
and crowds. Perfect for all levels, this boutique ski resort
and maintain social distancing, ensuring that guests stay
offers beginner, intermediate and advanced ski runs, as
6 feet apart in line for lifts and inside equipment rental
well as sledding, private lessons, and equipment rentals.
areas. Homewood dining venues are open for take-out and outdoor dining only, with limited outdoor seating. All
2. Priceless Views
surfaces are sanitized frequently, from outdoor tables to
The views from Homewood are spectacular. Every
rental equipment and ski lift chairs.
single trail on the mountain offers skiers a breathtaking backdrop view of stunning Lake Tahoe — a bonus not
4. Fewer Crowds
seen at many other ski parks in the area. The base of the
Homewood has always been known for fewer crowds,
resorts sits merely a few feet away from the Lake Tahoe
but this ski season they’re capping season pass sales by
shoreline, so guests enjoy the best of both worlds — surf
25%, and limiting the number of daily skiers. Fewer skiers
and snow.
per acre is a recipe for more fun on the mountain, with MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25
[ TRAVEL ]
26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
[ TRAVEL ] shorter lines for ski chairs, dining, and sledding.
are also available.
5. Cozy Accommodations
8. Exceptional Workshops
Situated just across the street from Homewood, the
Homewood Mountain Resort offers a number of unique
Westshore Cafe and Inn (owned by Homewood) is a cozy
day backcountry workshops, designed to introduce
respite after a long day in the snow. Offering rooms, suites
beginners to new techniques and experiences, or help
and villas to accommodate any sized group, this rustic-
advanced skiers or snowboarders hone their skills. The
chic lakeside lodge is the perfect snow-bunny haven.
“Introduction to Backcountry Skiing/Riding” workshop
Free breakfast, craft cocktails and stunning lake views
is designed for experienced skiers or boarders and
are reason enough to stay even if your’e not skiing.
introduces them to backcountry skiing/riding just outside the resort. The resort also offers all-level private
6. Elevated Eats
backcountry touring workshops, as well as an intensive
Homewood dining is more than just an afterthought
three-day avalanche course designed to teach
or simply fuel before the ride. It’s a seasonal, gourmet
experienced skiers/riders how to safely travel avalanche
experience. At Westshore Cafe, hungry skiers and guests
terrain.
choose from a changing seasonal menu of chef’s creations, such as Dungeness Crab Cakes, Ricotta
9. Pocketbook Friendly
Gnocchi, or the West Shore Burger, made with local
Lift tickets at Homewood are substantially cheaper than
wagyu beef. (There’s also a children's menu available.)
many of the “big-name” Tahoe ski resorts, so skiers enjoy
The wine list is award winning, boasting accolades
all the fun of world-famous Lake Tahoe skiing without the
from Wine Spectator. There’s plenty of delicious dining
big price tag. Tickets purchased online, in advance, start
options on the mountain, as well, at The Madden Cafe
at $64 for an adult (19-61 Yrs-Old), $55 for a teen (13-18),
(coffee and pizza,) Big Blue View Bar (made-to-order
and just $45 for a child (5-12.)
burritos or grab’ n ’go fare,) 89 Bar & Grill (build-your-own sandwiches or salad) or Hofbrau (German-inspired food
10. Peace of Mind
truck eats.)
Have you ever fantasized about dropping the kids off for a half-day of skiing or boarding, and just hanging
7. Snow Play
back to relax, perhaps with a hot toddy or two? At
There’s much more fun to be had at Homewood in
Homewood, dreams happily become reality. This smaller-
addition to skiing and boarding. The “Snow Play &
scale ski park is just the right size for tweens and teens,
Sledding Hill” thrills guests of all ages. Riders can simply
and offers plenty of beginner and intermediate runs to
purchase a snow play ticket online, and then bring
entertain them for hours. Grownups can head just across
their own sled or rent a sled onsite. There’s a convenient
the street to enjoy a leisurely lakeside meal at West Shore
magic carpet that lifts guests to the top of the hill, so
Cafe and Inn knowing their wards are safe, secure and
they can spend all their energy on the fun part — racing
having an absolute blast. And unlike some ski parks,
downhill! Snow Play tickets are sold in two-hour sessions,
cell phone reception is not an issue, so everyone can
at 10 a.m., 12 p.m., or 2 p.m. Snowshoe tours and rentals
communicate seamlessly. MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27
[ PARENTING ]
Betsy Brown Braun, best selling author of Just Tell Me What to Say: Sensible Tips and Scripts for Perplexed Parents (HarperCollins) and You’re Not The Boss Of Me: Brat proofing Your Four To Twelve Year Old (HarperCollins), is a child development and behavior specialist, parent educator, multiple birth parenting consultant, and founder of Parenting Pathways®, Inc. Her parenting expertise has been featured in The New York Times, The Wall Street Journal, USA Today, U.S. News & World Report, Real Simple, American Baby, Cookie, Family Circle, Good Housekeeping, In Style, Parenting, Parents, Pregnancy and Newborn, Twins, Woman’s Day, and, Working Mother, Colorado Parent Magazine, Ohio Valley Parent Magazine among other publications. She has shared her expertise on the Today Show multiple times. Other television appearances have included Dr. Phil, Rachael Ray, The Early Show, Good Morning America, Entertainment Tonight, Fox & Friends, Hallmark’s Home and Family, KCBS, KNBC, and Fox News LA. She contributes to KNX news radio on child development, and has been a guest on countless radio programs nationwide, including NPR. www.betsybrownbraun.com
Smoothing The Re Entry Into School by Betsy Brown Braun Some children are lucky enough to have already gone back to in-person school. But, sadly, many have not. Today the internet was alive with stories of more public schools soon being able to go back to in-person education. Hallelujah! While we would all love our children to run and jump headfirst into school, it may not be so easy for some. For each child and family it will be different. Age is not necessarily the determining factor. The re entry transition has more to do with your child’s temperament, personality, sensitivity and context—that is, what has been each child’s experience while not at school. To top it off, each school will have a different protocol and procedure. Not only do we need to prepare our children to be patient and take it slowly, but we also need to prepare ourselves for the possibility that everything could again in the blink of an eye. Yikes!
28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
[ SEASONAL FUN ]
[ PARENTING ]
Younger children may actually need to go through that
Parents will be full of feelings that can easily leak.
initial separation process, the one that happens as the
Whether great glee or overflowing anxiety, our emotions
child starts pre-school. And children whose first time at
unchecked ooze out, and our children pick them up.
nursery school, kindergarten, or even middle school was
Young children, in particular, look to their parents as
virtual, who have never been to the school or met the
mirrors of how they should feel. Anxiety is contagious,
teacher in person, might have a bumpier road. They, too,
and I am sure you don’t want to add to the load your
will need to take it slowly.
child himself is experiencing.
During pandemic home school, children have grown
Just like starting school in the fall warrants consideration
accustomed to Mommy or Daddy or the nanny being
and preparation, so does re entering in-person school.
right there much of the time. Someone is available to
This transition could take time. You need to be patient
help, to support, to answer questions, to offer sustenance,
and allow it to evolve. It is not unlike getting into a very
to explain a challenge, to calm an emotional child, to
cold pool, one toe at a time. Pretty soon, your whole
provide encouragement. Some previously self-reliant
body is in, and off you go.
and resourceful children have regressed and grown dependent on immediately accessible adult help.
With the re entry here for some and coming into focus for
School will be a big change from that, indeed. Your kids
others, it’s time to think about how we can smooth the
will need to reinvigorate their school independence.
transition for our children. Below is a list of transition tips that I hope will be helpful.
Already anticipating going back to school, some children have churned up anxiety not previously seen.
Transition tips for school re entry:
They are uncomfortable with the unfamiliar. They are worried about who their friends will be. They are afraid
• Begin the transition back into school at least a full
that school is not a safe place, that they will contract
week before school starts. Remember going to
Covid while there. A nine-year-old boy told his mother
school is not a choice.
that he cannot sleep because he is worried that his mom will die from Covid while he is at school. There is a wide
• Gradually adjust your child’s bed times and waking
variety of fears, anxieties, worries, concerns that children
times to the times needed for in-person school. This
and parents are experiencing. Maybe we have done
time adjustment itself will take time.
too good a job teaching our children to be cautious and mindful, about the dangers of Covid. Have we created a monster? Not only is it essential to tune into how the change to in-person school will affect our children, but we need
• Rope in your meal times, cutting back on the constant kitchen visits all day long. • Make sure that your child’s school clothes fit… especially his shoes!
also to consider ourselves. For some parents, it will be a tremendous relief. The burden of having to care for
• Have fun getting his backpack ready as if it were
children 24/7 (in addition to everything else) will at last
September. Perhaps some school supply shopping is
be lifted. Others may feel out of sorts and out of control.
in order.
From being ever-present, they have come to know their children in new ways, seeing behaviors, habits, and styles
• Have conversations with excitement in your voice
previously unobserved. Having grown accustomed
about what is happening, but do not discount any
to being the engine, to being an integral of the child’s
worries your child may have. Validate her feelings.
school life, it may be unnerving and difficult to let go, giving up control. These parents will have to regain their trust of their child and of the system.
• Share that it his old school might feel different at first, but reassure him that it won’t always feel that way. MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29
[ PARENTING ] She will grow more comfortable (like getting into a cold pool). • Join your child in making a list of what might be the same and what might be different in her school. Then visit the list after school. • Make a video of your child expressing his questions out loud. After school play the video and let him answer himself. • For the child who has not attended school in person, drive by the school a lot! • If possible, visit the classroom and walk around the site in advance. • Try to arrange to meet your child’s teacher. Knowing a teacher virtually is different familiarity from being in-person. • Try to connect with a peer or two who will be in her class. It feels so good to have a friend. • If your child is returning to in-school after others,
30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MARCH 2021
connect her with someone who has been there already. Her friend can provide reassurance about what it is like. When School Resumes • Remember to put notes in your younger child’s lunch box. (Truth be told, the older ones won’t hate them!) • Do more listening than talking both before and after your child goes back to school. • Try not ask too many questions nor interview for pain. The news will dribble out if you give it a chance. • In the car and especially with your older children, ask, “Do you want to talk or just listen to music?” or maybe just share your own day. • With your older child be sure to revisit your “house rules” to see if they are still applicable. Adjustments will likely need to be made. (free range screen time?) Go slowly and be reasonable. Know that the transition and adjustment may take time…or not. It depends upon your child.
[ PARENTING ]
®
Preschool
Education is a Lifelong Commitment
®
Discover Quarry Lane
NOW ENROLLING Join our Open House every Wednesday! www.QuarryLane.org/Preschool
Toddler, Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten Academic-Based Curriculum Passionate, Experienced Educators
PLEASANTON WEST CAMPUS Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten 4444B Black Ave., Pleasanton, CA
925.462.6300
Full and Half Day Schedules Computer, Spanish, Music, P.E., and Library Two Preschool Campuses in Pleasanton
PLEASANTON EAST CAMPUS Toddler through Pre-Kindergarten 3750 Boulder St., Pleasanton, CA
925.846.9400
MARCH 2021 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31 CA Licenses: 013411303, 013411304, 013411305, 013417681