Active Family Magazine | April 2019 Issue

APRIL 2019

Staying Close To Your Tween Daughter

SUMMER CAMP GUIDE

HOTEL SPOTLIGHT Calistoga Ranch, an Auberge Resort

Volume 6 / Issue 62 She’s Not Bossy, She’s a Leader: 15 Ways to Know a Bossy Child from a Potential Leader

[ PARENTING ] If You’re Worried About Your Kids’ Friends

SPRING BREAK SPECIAL –Maui on a Budget

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30

Staying Close to Your Tween Daughter

[ HEALTH & WELLNESS ] The Facts about Microneedling

EGG-citing –BUNNY SIGHTINGS & EASTER EGG HUNTS!

16

32

28

7 Steps to Encourage Honesty in our Kids and Put an End to Lying

9 Ways to Make Your Groceries Stay Fresh Longer

Summer Camps

24

27

[ SEASONAL EVENTS ]

34

[ TRAVEL ] HOTEL SPOTLIGHT –Calistoga Ranch, an Auberge Resort

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Open March 22 – May 5 Throw back your spring break 66 million years. Experience life-size dinosaurs that move and roar, and unearth fossils like a paleontologist in our East Garden. Plus, see real specimens and enjoy dino-themed activities throughout the entire Academy. Hurry—buy online and save before it goes extinct!

Get tickets at calacademy.org Dino Days Festival is included in general admission.

Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area

Publisher/Editor

Marketing Interns

Contributing Authors

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Talia Dobrec

Advertising Sales Director

Fashion Editor

Whitney Ignacio Whitney@activefamilymag.com

Rachel Fawkes www.fawkeshunter.com

Travel Editor

Design/Production

Elizabeth Kang ekang@activefamilymag.com

Teresa Agnew Craft

Dr. Michele Borba Elizabeth Kang Christine Carter, Ph.D. Amber Ross Amy McCready Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Catherine McCord

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709 Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note Bring on the sun! After a very wet and rainy winter, we are very excited for Spring flowers, sunshine and family fun! With Spring Break comes plenty of opportunities for family bonding. Whether you are heading to one of California’s amazing beaches, hitting the Sierra ski slopes or simply hanging at home, the break allows a reprieve from the every day hustle and bustle!

With only a few months left of school, the bigger questions remains; how will you keep the kids busy this summer? Our Summer Camp Guide on page 40 offers plenty of ideas and ways to keep the kids engaged, active and happy. One of our favorites is Adventure Day Camp located in Walnut Creek and San Ramon. ADC offers something for everyone, whether your child is into sports, arts, music or science, they are sure to thrive in the environment and make new friends along the way.

Have an animal lover? Another favorite camp which offers both Spring and Summer sessions is the Oakland Zoo. Tour the animals, play games, sing songs and get up close with the creatures at the zoo. An experience they will remember forever!

Don’t forget to follow up on Instagram @activefamilymagazine and Facebook @ activefamilymag for more Bay Area parenting info!

Enjoy Spring!

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

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before making a decision about braces.

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APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 5 PD00061-00 Rev. A Practice specific marketing is sponsored by the provider and not by Align Technology, Inc.

[ PARENTING ]

If You’re Worried About Your Kids’ Friends

by Dr. Michele Borba Bad friends. It’s every parent’s worst nightmare: we imagine only the worse: drugs, smoking, sex, trouble with the law. But what should parents do if they notice that their daughter is hanging out more with a kid whose values don’t seem in sync with their own? Is there ever a time when you should forbid your son from being with a particular friend?

The bottom line on this one: It’s okay to have friends who are different from your child. After all, exposing our kids to diversity is a big part of helping to broaden their horizons, learn new skills and perspectives, and get along with Dr. Michele Borba is an internationally recognized expert and author on children, teens, parenting, bullying and moral development. She is an NBC contributor appearing over 100 times on the TODAY show and is the regular parenting expert on Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers. Her work has been featured on Dr. Phil, Dateline, The View, The Doctors, Fox News, The Early Show and CNN and well as in Newsweek, People, Good Housekeeping, Chicago Tribune, U.S. News & World Report, Washington Post, The New York Times and The Globe and Mail.

She was an MSNBC contributor to two televised “Education Nation” specials. Dr. Borba is the awardwinning author of 22 parenting and educational books translated into 14 languages. Titles include: Don’t Give Me That Attitude!, Parents Do Make A Difference, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, and Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me!, No More Misbehavin’, Building Moral Intelligence (cited

by Publishers’ Weekly as “Among the most noteworthy of 2001”), and Esteem Builders used by 1.5 million students worldwide. She writes as the parenting expert for Dr. Oz’s website, as well a daily column for her blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check: www.micheleborba.com Twitter: @micheleborba

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others. The trick here is to figure out when the other kid’s values or lifestyle are really reckless, self-destructive or totally inappropriate. Consider this: could hanging around this kid damage your child’s character, reputation, or health?

Keep in mind that our kids are rarely ?made bad? by another kid, but the friends our kids choose to hang around with sure can increase the odds that he may—or may not—get into trouble.

Here are a few tips to help you handle these rougher waters of parenting.

Restate your standards Be clear your child knows your family values and is aware of the consequence if he violates them. “No drugs, drinking, smoking.” “You always call to tell me where you are.” “You only go to homes where parents are there to supervise.”

“You don’t leave one location and go to another without telling me.” A one time talk to your child isn’t going to cut it so plan to talk again and again.

Share your concerns Instead of judging or criticizing your kid’s companion (which is guaranteed to end the conversation), describe the changes you see in your child. “I notice whenever you sit next to Kevin in class, I get a call from the teacher.” “You never swore before you starting hanging around that group.”

If you’re not sure you understand what’s going on, ask questions. “You hid Ricky’s magazine when I came in your room. What exactly was it that you didn’t want me to see?”

Talk to the parent Do try to talk to the other kid’s parent, and it’s best to do so as soon as your child befriends their child. Meeting personally would be ideal, but a phone call is usually more realistic. Try your best to be positive, friendly, and open minded. Exchange phone numbers. And if you haven’t taken time to do so with his other friends, make it a policy from now on.

[ PARENTING ] Befriend your child’s friends

lessons, the art class).

Get to them and let them know you are interested in their lives. You may see a different side. “Do you play any

Be prepared

sports?” “How did you and Norma meet?” “Are you in

Teach your child what to do any time he does not feel

any of the same classes?” “Can you stay for dinner?

comfortable or thinks there could be trouble. Set up a code word that only you and your family know such as

Ask “What if…”

phrases like: Robin Hood, Trick or Treat, Jimmy called.That

A good way to assess your kid’s ability to handle peers

way anytime you are talking to your child and his friends

who could be trouble is by posing “What if…” questions.

are listening, he can say the word and you’ll know you

You make up the problem scenario, but then listen

really want to come home. Also have a parent support

to how your child responds. Her answers will be a

group available in which you and another friend who

springboard to talk about possible solutions she may

knows your child well, agrees that anytime you’re not

face in bad company. “What if you go to a friend’s house

available your child will call her (and vice versa with their

and you there aren’t any parents there” “What if you’re

kid) to pick him up.

at a slumber party and your friends want to sneak out and (smoke, drink, meet boys, etc)”

Watch for red flags Are you seeing any changes in your child’s behavior that

Get the facts

are big warning signs that things are becoming more

Talk to other parents, teachers, and adults whose

serious? The key is to look for differences you’ve noticed

opinions you value. Do they know the kid and share your

in your child since she began hanging around with this

concerns? Does their kids hang around with them? If not,

companion: Grades slipping, tears, moodiness, red eyes

why? What do they suggest?

(drugs), alcohol or smoke smell (or cologne to possibly cover up the smell), defiant or disrespectful attitude,

Know where your kid is at all times

hiding things or acting sneakily, sleeping too much, more

Especially if you’re concerned about your child’s friends:

accidents, a complete wardrobe change that is not your

Make it clear that immediately after school (or any

kid. Remember to direct your concerns to where it really

activity) you want to hear from him. If your child doesn’t

counts: how your kid acts instead of how the other kids

have access to a cell phone or pager, give him a phone

behave.

card and teach him how to use it or how to make collect phone calls. There should be no excuses.

Forbid bad friend when serious issues emerge If the companion clearly is a “bad influence” and

Keep an open house

is pushing your kid into experimenting with serious

Stock your refrigerator with sodas, save those pizza

issues such as drugs, substance abuse, shoplifting, sex,

coupons, and make your house ?kid friendly? so your

smoking, it’s time to draw a halt to the relationship. This

child’s friends want to come to your house. In fact, worry

may be easier said than done, but and you might need

more if you kid doesn’t want to bring his friends over.

to consider the extreme: changing schools, a summer

Besides feeling more comfortable and knowing where

camp, a month at a relative’s, a boarding school, or

your kid is, you’ll also be able to keep your eyes and ears

even moving. In some cases it really may be the only

open to see if your concerns are really grounded.

option to prevent a potential tragedy.

Foster new associations

Above all, keep the lines of communication open and

The best way to limit time spent a potential bad friend

your relationship warm and positive as your child. You

is to find other social avenues to go down instead. Look

want to convey the message loud and clear: “I love

for places she can make new friends such as Boys & Girls

you.” “Remember, I’m always here for you.” Don’t let your

Club, scouts, clubs, music, sports. Arrange activities that

dislike of your child’s friends hinder your relationship with

your child really wants to do (the basketball team, guitar

your child.

APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 7

[ TRAVEL ]

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[ TRAVEL ]

HOTEL SPOTLIGHT Calistoga Ranch, an Auberge Resort

by Elizabeth Kang

A splurge-worthy, ultra-private getaway that leaves a lasting impression.

It’s been a few weeks since my stay at Calistoga Ranch, and yet, I still find myself daydreaming about the experience — transporting myself back to my lodge’s sprawling private outdoor cedar deck, with wine glass in hand, luxurious robe and slippers on, and cozy fireplace blazing. I keep picturing the swoon-worthy gourmet breakfast I experienced at the property’s guests-only farmto-table restaurant, overlooking the charming, private lake. The whole experience was unlike any I’ve had at a resort, and likely one I won’t find elsewhere.

Calistoga Ranch is truly that special, and although high-end, well-worth the price-tag.

APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9

[ TRAVEL ]

A PICTURESQUE PROPERTY Nestled in its own private canyon in Northern Napa Valley, Calistoga Ranch is a secluded natural world unto itself, with separate freestanding guest lodges set among a landscape of majestic moss-covered oaks, verdant, lush hills, and a babbling creek that winds throughout the property. The landscape is somehow both polished and wild, with striking oversized Agave plants dotting the paths, and it feels like an ultraluxe adults’ summer camp, where you’re immersed in nature but have high-end amenities at your fingertips.

Aside from the wonderful amenities and natural beauty of the property, the welcoming feel and inclusiveness helps this resort stand out. Calistoga Ranch sees it’s fair share of honeymooners and anniversary celebrators, but it also hosts plenty of children, and even dogs, and welcomes both wholeheartedly. In fact, on our stay we were warmly greeted by the friendly and wellmannered resident Golden Retriever, Cal. Children and families will enjoy the family pool and outdoor Pool Terrace restaurant, perched hilltop, with stunning panoramic views of trees and valley, while adults traveling sans kids will appreciate the adultsonly pool, located below. The property features unique, fun farm-life that both little ones and grown-ups will enjoy. Visit the chicken coop to choose fresh eggs for your breakfast, and be sure to stop and say hello to the adorable goats at their newly built house. There’s also a working beehive, Cabernet grape vineyard, and garden on property, all of which are lovingly tended to by Juan Luis, the longtime head groundskeeper.

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[ TRAVEL ]

AMAZING AMENITIES Before it was became the luxurious natural hideaway it is today, the 157-acre site was a silver mining camp roughly 100 years ago, and then a trailer park, before it opened as Calistoga Ranch in May of 2004.

The 50 freestanding lodges were built with privacy and serenity in mind, and they are as pretty to look at as they are functional. Made from cedar planks, they are modern woodsy cabin-like bungalows, with sprawling decks and comfortably sized rooms. All rooms, whether one or two-bedrooms, are equipped with a stunning private stonetile outdoor shower, and oversized soaking tub in the bathroom. A one-bedroom lodge is the perfect retreat for a couple, while those traveling in a group or with children will want to reserve a two-bedroom lodge, which boasts a separate full-sized chef’s kitchen (stocked with drinks, snacks, dishes, glassware and utensils,) separate APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11

[ TRAVEL ] living room area with oversized flatscreen TV, cozy couches and chairs, and two separate bedrooms, each of which have their own full-sized bath. All of the separated rooms are conjoined by the large outdoor cedar deck, where one should spend most of their time, enjoying the hot tub, fireplace, space heaters and lounge furniture among the peaceful trees and hills. It wouldn’t be unusual to spot a deer, fox or bobcat nearby, while lounging on your deck.

Adding to the peaceful vibes, cars are not allowed past the parking area, but it’s easy to walk the paths or call for a golf cart to ferry you to and from your car, or perhaps to the onsite spa or restaurant.

DELICIOUS DINING The property’s onsite restaurant, The Lakehouse, dreamily overlooks a picturesque little lake, and has a sprawling deck to ensure that every guest gets a view. Open for breakfast, lunch, and dinner, the restaurant is quaint and private, reserved only for Calistoga Ranch guests. During my stay, I enjoyed a memorable breakfast of the highly recommended Huevos Rancheros, made with the property’s own fresh organic eggs, and my companion enjoyed a unique and colorful plant-based option, the Seasonal Local Farmer’s Vegetable Hash, which came with a vegan “ricotta” tempura dumpling. Don’t miss the heavenly Artisan English Muffin on the “sides” menu, which are brought in from the nearby Model Bakery.

In the warmer months (May - October) families will enjoy the poolside service of the more relaxed and casual Pool Terrace Restaurant, where children can enjoy a burger with fries while adults nosh on freshly made salads, gourmet sandwiches and sip on a refreshing 12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

[ TRAVEL ]

Sangria or seasonal Mojito.

For dinner, take a short drive over to SolBar, located at Calistoga Ranch’s sister property, Solage. The popular Michelin-starred restaurant is well worth traveling offsite, as it boasts a recent $1-million-dollar renovation and elegant food to match. SolBar’s service is top-notch, with friendly, seamless servers and warm hosts. The interior and decor are gorgeous, contemporary and intimate — perfect for a romantic date night or special-occasion group dinner. Guests can choose from an extensive cocktail and wine menu to pair with modern farm-to-table fare such as House Grilled Naan Bread served with burrata cheese spread, (we couldn’t stop eating this) and Pan Roasted Alaskan Halibut elegantly served with a table-side-poured creamy oyster stew.

The portions are fairly generous for the price, and the food is decadent, fresh and innovative.

EXCURSIONS & EXPLORATION Back at Calistoga Ranch, you’ll find plenty to keep you occupied both on and off thproperty. The resort contains three private hiking trails, ranging from easy to difficult, depending on length and steepness. There are, of course, the sparkling outdoor APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13

[ TRAVEL ] pools to enjoy and well-appointed fitness center to use, as well as the world-class spa to experience.

The Auberge Spa is in a class of its own, in a gorgeous lakeside location amongst a serene, forested natural setting. Spa-goers can choose to relax in the natural heated mineral waters, or take a plunge in the mud baths.

Alongside more standard spa treatment options such as Swedish massage and facials, there are more unique offerings, such as the Animal Spirit Treatment — an intimate spa treatment based on your unique animal spirit.

During the playful treatment your animal spirit is first discovered, and then a treatment correlating to that animal is developed based on elements of earth, water, fire and air.

After a relaxing and rejuvenating spa treatment, you may be ready to explore the area around Calistoga Ranch, and you can do that in style thanks to the resort’s generous policy of letting guests borrow their fleet of Mercedes Benz’s. The vehicles are loaned on a first-come, first-served basis, and we were lucky enough to snag a sporty silver convertible on our trip.

We took our car for a spin to visit some nearby wineries, including Frank Family Vineyards (famous for their Chardonnay,) Dutch Henry Winery, and Three Palm Vineyard. Be sure to mention that you are guests of Calistoga Ranch, as most nearby wineries offer free tastings to Calistoga Ranch guests in partnerships with the resort.

With all there is to do and experience (wine tasting, gourmet food, hiking, spa treatments, swimming, and exploring,) I had to slow down and savor just being present at this gorgeous resort. It’s a lovely place to just be. If you’re anything like me — a nature lover who also enjoys the finer things in life, Calistoga Ranch may just be your new favorite getaway.

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[ TRAVEL ]

CALISTOGA RANCH –AN AUBERGE RESORT 580 Lommel Rd, Calistoga, CA 94515 (866) 484-8829 www. aubergeresorts.com/calistogaranch APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15

[ PARENTING ]

Staying Close to Your Tween Daughter

by Dr. Laura Markham Parents often ask me how to get along with their suddenly volatile preteen daughter. It’s a shock when your previously sweet little girl starts tantrumming Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone.

You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.

again. Twelve year old girls can be moody, over-dramatizing, self-centered, focused almost solely on friends, close-mouthed, surly, back-talking and condescending to parents. They can, of course, also be mature, affectionate and delightful, but at their worst they’re a cross between the most challenging aspects of toddlers and teens.

The bad news is that your tween’s developing body is flooded by hormones, her brain is rewiring, her need to discover herself and her place in the world takes precedence over the other things she values (like her family and schoolwork), and she probably can’t acknowledge how much she still loves and needs you, because she's working hard to feel "grown up" and independent. The good news is that if you can accept this new situation and adjust your parenting accordingly, the tween years are the perfect time to strengthen your relationship before she heads into the teen years.

So for those hard days, here are 16 tips to make parenting your tween girl less

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[ PARENTING ] drama, and more delight:

figure things out for herself. Instead, ask good questions and empathize.

1) Be willing to change.

You can’t parent the way you did when she was little; it

5) Cultivate empathy and try to see things from her

just isn’t appropriate or effective. If she gets testy, that’s

perspective.

a signal that you need to adjust your parenting style to

As you listen to her, remind yourself that the upset of

connect and listen more. (This will happen just at those

the moment may not seem like a big deal to you, but to

moments when you want her to listen to you, of course!)

her it feels like the end of the world. Having your body start changing so dramatically is worrisome at best

2) Focus on the relationship, not on discipline.

and painful at worst, as in growing pains and menstrual

You’ll get no respect if she doesn’t feel connected to

cramps. That means that when she over-dramatizes, you

you. Fight like the dickens to stay close to your daughter.

offer empathy. Her stubbed toe may not have warranted

Do not let her push you away. She still needs you, she just

all that fuss, but something does hurt and she does want

can't acknowledge it. Find every opportunity to connect.

you to kiss it and make it better, even if she isn't exactly

Hug her hello every morning, and hug her goodbye

sure what’s bothering her and how to put it into words.

when she leaves for school. (Do this with a sense of humor and she will humor you.) Greet her with delight

6) Be aware that tween girls usually harbor great anxiety

and a hug when you see her again later in the day. She

about adolescence.

may not "need" tucking in at night, but that shouldn't

One study found that tween boys looked forward to

stop you from lying down next to her to discuss her day

adolescence and the strength, power, independence

and having a few minutes of quiet connection. Many

and prestige they would develop. Tween girls, on

parents find that time just before bed to be the time their

the other hand, dreaded adolescence, fearing

daughter is least distracted by other things, and most

menstruation, their new vulnerability to men, and the

willing to open her heart.

pressure to be sexy and attractive. Most girls don’t know how to put these anxieties into words, but they feel them,

3) It’s appropriate for your tween to want more

even as they beg to wear skimpy outfits so they’ll be

independence.

“cool.” Your daughter may want to be a hottie so the

If you insist on controlling all her choices, you’re inviting

other kids will be impressed with her, but inside she knows

rebellion, or worse. If you can find appropriate ways to

full well that she isn’t ready for the attention that will

give your daughter independence, she won’t have to

bring.

rebel against you to start standing on her own two feet.

Of course she’ll make mistakes. That’s how humans learn.

7) Be sure your daughter is getting nine hours of sleep

And of course she isn’t ready to make all her decisions.

each night, as an absolute minimum.

You’re still the parent. Deciding how much to weigh in is

A big contributor to the infamous moodiness of tweens

the hardest part of this parenting dance.

and teens is that they don't get enough sleep. Research shows they need a minimum of nine hours. If your child

4) Schedule quality time.

isn't waking up naturally (without an alarm or a wake-

Create regular times, at least once a week, when you

up call from you), then they aren't going to bed early

go together for brunch or a manicure or a walk, and

enough to get enough rest.

make the most of those opportunities to connect. For ideas on conversations to have with her, check out 190

Most preteens begin to find it harder to fall asleep at

Conversation Starters for Conversations with Your Child.

night. But when kids stay up late, their stress hormones

But you don’t have to always have deep conversations.

like cortisol kick in, which makes it harder to fall asleep.

Just appreciate and enjoy her. And listen, listen, listen.

The problem is that cortisol stays in the system and makes

Remember, the more you give her advice, the more

them edgy the next day; it also contributes to depression,

she feels like you don't have confidence in her ability to

anxiety, and weight gain. The famous moodiness of APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 17

[ PARENTING ] teenagers is partly attributable to late bedtimes, which

sophisticated testing to ensure that their games are

have become standard practice in our culture. Just

physically addictive, which means that your child's

because your toddler gains the ability to keep himself

body is bathed in adrenalin and other neurotransmitters

awake doesn’t mean you’d let him stay up half the night.

as soon as she even thinks about playing her games.

Just because your tween and teen gain the ability to

Computer games actually change our brain chemistry

keep themselves up doesn’t mean it isn’t bad for them.

while we're playing them, and we don't know how

Introduce your tween to relaxation exercises if she’s

long the effects last afterwards. We don't expose our

having a hard time falling asleep; they’ll come in handy

children to other addictions and leave them to fend

for the rest of her life. But insist on a reasonable bedtime.

for themselves. Kids need our help to manage this addiction, too.

What about that research that the body clock of teens is set to stay up late? The researchers didn't control for

9) Nurture your daughter’s passions.

screen usage. When humans use blue light (phones,

Anything she really cares about and can throw herself

ipads, computers, tv) within an hour or two of bedtime,

into is protective, a place to feel competent, a place

it suppresses melatonin and keeps us awake. Naturally,

to push herself and learn resilience, a place to lose

then, we sleep later, because young people do need

herself when the arrows of outrageous fortune pierce

more sleep than adults. I'm betting that as soon as they

too deeply. Does she like to dance? Write? Draw? Do

stop kids from using screens in those experiments, the

whatever it takes to encourage her. It’s critical that this

kids will be on the same body clock as other humans.

be something she is drawn to, of course, not something

Why would they have evolved differently than the rest

her parents are pushing. And don't make her perform or

of us? So it's critical to keep all screens out of bedrooms.

submit to competitions. Let this be about engagement

(Yes, this is true for adults also.)

with her own passion, not performance.

8) Limit computer use.

10) Don’t let your daughter turn into a couch potato.

As tween girls begin to lose interest in pretend play and

Regular exercise has tremendous benefits, from getting

the other games that occupied their earlier years, many

the metabolism moving to balancing raging hormones

of them begin to spend more time on the computer, and

to helping her fall asleep easily at night. Make a habit

it isn’t unusual for them to fall into the grip of a computer

of physical activity every day, whether a bike ride,

addiction. As a first step, you'll want to limit computer

soccer game, family hike or time on the treadmill. But

chatting to friends, and to the hours after homework is

be warned: You'll probably have to join in. Instead of

completed.

resenting that, see it as a way to stay connected and get some exercise yourself.

The lure of social media sites can be strong, especially if other kids are on them. Facebook has a rule that users

11) Talk about relationships and sex.

must be 13 so getting a Facebook account when you're

Your daughter is hungry for information about love and

under 13 requires lying, which is enough reason for

sex. Talking about it won't make her rush out and do

parents to nix it. (This is one of the few times the culture

it. In fact, research shows that the opposite is true. Kids

will support you in your parenting, so take advantage of

who don't have strong connections with their parents

it.) It's a good idea to familiarize yourself with the tech

are the ones looking for love in all the wrong places.

culture of your child and her friends; you can start here

You want your daughter to feel great about her body

for some suggested parent-friendly websites on raising

so she isn't looking to prove herself with choices that will

web-savvy kids: Internet Smarts: Keeping Your Kids Safe

shame her later. The best way to prevent that is for her

Online.

to understand that these scenarios happen, so she can walk out of any drama that's too much for her to handle.

You should also know that computer game manufacturers spare no expense and use very

12) Don't take anything she says or does personally.

[ PARENTING ] Tween and teen girls are famous for feeling like their

15) Don't stop being physically close.

parents "Just don't understand!" Try not to feel hurt by

Your preteen daughter's body is growing into

that. In fact, try not to feel hurt by anything she does

womanhood, but she is still your little girl, and she

or says. Most of it is not about you at all, but about her

still needs your physical closeness. If you find yourself

tumultuous hormones and emotions, her huge fears and

uncomfortable about holding her, observe your own

insecurities, her urgent need to shape an identity as a

anxiety and find a safe place to talk about it and work it

separate, independent person. So just breathe through

out. But don't withhold from your daughter the touch all

any "tantrums" and bite your tongue. The minute you get

humans need, especially young humans. You don't want

triggered, you're pushing her away.

her looking for love in all the wrong places.

13) Insist on civility, but do it from as calm a place as you

16) Course correct.

can muster

No one parents perfectly. I found that about once a

and don't overreact when your child raises her voice to you in the middle of hysterics over something. She will be deeply grateful, even if she can't acknowledge it at the moment. I'm not suggesting that you let your child treat you disrespectfully. I'm suggesting you act out of love and connect with empathy, rather than anger, as you set limits. If you're too angry to get in touch with your love, always wait until you can do so, before you set limits. That means you keep your own voice calm and warm, even when she doesn't. It means that when she back-talks, you politely remind her "We don't talk to each other that way in this house,” but then be sure to add "You must be so upset to talk to me that way. What's going on, Sweetie?" Remember, if you don't model self control, you can't expect it from her, and what's worse, you'll lose her respect. If you can stay calm and "seek first to understand" (as Stephen Covey would say), she'll finish her upset feeling closer to you, and she'll be less likely to go on the attack next time.

14) Remember that kids this age have strong feelings that they need help to handle.

week I said exactly the wrong thing to my 12 year old, and whatever upset she was already in would then erupt at me. But since I was committed to calming, rather than escalating the situation, I was able to use those mistakes and misunderstandings as opportunities to get closer. By 14, she was calmer than I am, and a delight to parent.

We have to remember that it's like putting on our own oxygen mask first. We have to regulate our own emotions, because they don't have the maturity to do it. They rely on us to act like grownups and model emotional self-management. If, instead, we walk away angry, our daughters feel wounded, misunderstood, alienated. They attack us, or build up resentment and distrust. A rift appears in the relationship, and if we don’t respond quickly, it widens. But if we can back up, breathe, apologize, pay attention, and reconnect, we build bridges. The inevitable ruptures of daily life become opportunities to teach them so many lessons: how to process their emotions, how to repair an emotional rift, how to problem solve, that they can trust us. Most

If you can stay calm and listen for what's going on

importantly, we end even the hard interactions with a

underneath her upset, you can use it as an opportunity

stronger relationship.

to get closer. You could respond to her raising her voice at you by angrily insisting on respect, but you would drive

Parenting is a lot of work, and the emotional work may

your daughter away. Not knowing what to do with their

be hardest with tweens and teens. It might seem unfair

tumultuous feelings, tweens and teens often act out

that you have to do most of the work in your relationship

towards the people they feel safest with: their parents. If

with your daughter, but that’s the way parenting is. Our

we get distracted by their disrespect, or react angrily, we

daughters may look like young women, but they’ve got

miss the real message. If we can instead empathize, look

a lot of growing up to do emotionally. It’s our job – and

for the upset under the disrespect, and remind them of

our privilege -- to support them in that process. Every

who they really are ("You don't usually act unkindly"), we

relationship she has after this will have be modeled on

create an opening to help them manage their feelings.

the relationship you're building with her now.

APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19

[ TRAVEL ]

[ TRAVEL ]

SPRING BREAK SPECIAL Maui on a Budget

by Elizabeth Kang

Is a budget-friendly, family friendly Maui vacation

It’s rare you’ll find a hotel on Maui’s coveted Ka'anapali

actually possible? Absolutely! You can get the full

coast for less than $300 a night, but rooms at Ka'anapali

Hawaiian vacation experience without breaking the

Beach Hotel start at less than $200 a night. That’s a great

bank (or sacrificing quality) at Ka'anapali Beach Hotel.

value, especially when you take into consideration the amazing beachfront location and proximity to shopping,

If you think a Spring Break Maui vacation is not in the

restaurants and attractions, (saving you from the need

budget, think again. Sure, Hawaiian vacations can be

and added cost of a rental car, too.)

expensive, but they don’t have to be. If you save big bucks on your flight, hotel, food and excursions, it can

What makes Ka'anapali Beach Hotel so special is

cost less than a family-of-fours’ trip to Disneyland.

its commitment to maintaining and nurturing their authentic Hawaiian culture. The warm and friendly

GETTING THERE FOR LESS

staff is trained in all things Hawaiian, from the history

In the not-so-distant past, a roundtrip flight to Maui was

of the Hawaiian Islands, to ’ukulele and hula lessons.

almost always a guaranteed $500 ticket from the West

The staff is also given lessons on the native Polynesian

Coast. But recently, a little healthy competition among

Hawaiian language, “Ōlelo.” It all makes for a rich

airlines is proving to be highly beneficial to the money-

cultural experience that guests are immersed in from the

savvy flyer.

moment they step onto the property.

Southwest has recently launched nonstop flights to

Speaking of the property, there is plenty of fun to be

the islands, and competitors such as American and

had onsite. The lush, green fauna and colorful flora is

Hawaiian Airlines have been forced to lower their prices.

a wonderful compliment to the gorgeous turquoise

As even more airlines, such as United, begin offering

ocean, which is quite the relaxing view from your own

flights to Hawaii, travelers can expect airfares to get

private lanai (balcony) in your room. All rooms are

even cheaper. For the lowest rates, it’s best to shop for

decorated in a tasteful old-school Hawaiian decor,

flights midweek, and, according to Travel and Leisure

and offer every comfort needed, from air conditioning

Magazine, fares to Hawaii tend to be cheapest when

and hypoallergenic bedding to HD televisions and mini

shopping in the Winter from January 16 — February 14.

fridges.

STAYING ON THE CHEAP

Beyond the comfort of your room lies plenty of fun to

Beachfront location? Check. Old world Hawaiian

be had for the entire family, from the whale-shaped

culture? Check. Gorgeous, lush grounds and sparkling

gradient pool (perfect for little ones) to outdoor games,

pool? Check & Check! Ka'anapali Beach Hotel has

and of course, the sparkling white-sand Ka'anapali

everything you could want in a Maui resort, without the

Beach, just steps away from the hotel. The hotel also

steep price tag. As an added money saver, the hotel

offers a free nightly sunset hula show. Friday nights are

offers no resort fees, which can easily add up at the

particularly special, as the hotel features students from

resorts to equal the cost of another night’s stay.

nearby hula schools to perform on the Tiki Courtyard APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21

[ TRAVEL ]

Stage.

Beyond your hotel, cheap, delicious eats are just a short EATING ON A DIME

walk away. Be sure to visit Cafe Roseanne for a reasonably

Eating in Maui is notoriously expensive, but with a little

priced classic American or traditional Hawaiian breakfast,

research and planning, you can save hundreds of dollars

as well as delicious Filipino specialties. The cafe serves all

on food.

of your family favorite’s, such as pancakes and eggs, along with Hawaiian mainstays such as Loco Moco. A filling egg

At your hotel, children under 5-yrs-old and younger can

sandwich will set you back just $5.99, while a short stack of

eat at the Tiki Terrace breakfast buffet for free, with a

pancakes ($5) will keep your kids happy and full.

paying adult. The Tiki Grill is a great choice for a wallet-

One of your best budget-friendly bets in the area for lunch

friendly, casual lunch with kid-friendly options, and

and dinner are the numerous gourmet food trucks —

the Grab N Go deli, located on the ground floor of the

they’re a huge step up from your typical “roach coach.”

Ka'anapali Beach Hotel, is another budget-friendly option,

Don’t miss the fusion gourmet hot dog truck “Sumo Dogs,”

offering pastries, coffee, sandwiches, salads, and pizza.

which offer unique dogs with local flavor, such as the

Grab a $3 muffin, or bagel with cream cheese to go with

“Spicy Maui Onion” and “Guava Dog.” For a refreshing

the complimentary coffee you made in your room, and

acai bowl or mouthwatering grass-fed burger, visit the

you have yourself breakfast for under $5!

“Honolua Farms Kitchen” food truck, which features fresh,

22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

[ TRAVEL ] local ingredients. There are lots of other high-quality, low-

The main attraction in Maui also happens to be 100%

price food trucks in the area, so you can try something

free of cost, and that’s, of course, the beach! Pick up

new and delicious for every meal of your stay, all while

some free kids’ beach toys from the hotel, and grab

staying well within budget.

some pre-made sandwiches at the Grab N Go deli, and you have yourself a blissful day of low-cost fun on the

FREE & LOW COST FUN Free Onsite Family Fun: The Ka'anapali Beach Hotel offers fun complimentary daily activities that save you big bucks on the cost of family entertainment. Children and adults are welcome to learn the hula, along with its rich history and culture. Hotel guests are invited to learn the art of making ancient plant-based cloth (“Kapa”) from traditional tools, stamps, and dye.

There are also lei making classes daily, where guests can learn to make different styles of leis, oftentimes made from materials they gather on the property. Guests

gorgeous Ka'anapali coast.

A wonderful offsite excursion well worth the “splurge” is the Guided Snorkel Tour to Pu’u Keka`a. This exciting adventure starts on a “Boki Board,” (which is a small raft) and takes you on a guided tour to one of the island’s best snorkeling spots; “Pu’u Keka’a" (black rock.) The family will delight in seeing colorful fish and aquatic life in this 1.5 hour tour, all while learning interesting facts about the local aquatic ecosystem. The cost is $69 per person, and there are family group rates available.

can learn to play the ‘Ukulele and other Hawaiian instruments, and many get the chance to even take a

By saving on almost all aspects of your vacation, you’ll

musical instrument home. Other classes offered include

have room in your budget to splurge on a few excursions

Hawaiian language classes, learning about native plants

and meals out, truly making the most of your Maui Spring

and their medicinal values, and weaving (Nala) classes.

Break vacation.

APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23

[ PARENTING ]

Parenting expert and “recovering yeller” Amy McCready is the Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and the author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time…

The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling (Penguin, 2011.) Amy is a regular parenting contributor on The TODAY Show and has also appeared on Rachael Ray, CBS This Morning, CNN, Fox & Friends, MSNBC, Steve Harvey and elsewhere. In her most important role, she plays mom to two teenage boys. Follow Amy on Twitter @AmyMcCreadyPPS.

7 Steps to Encourage Honesty in our Kids and Put an End to Lying

by Amy McCready Perhaps your budding artist suddenly disowns the crayon mural in the hallway.

Maybe your daughter, who has spent the last hour making mud pies in the backyard, tells you she’s already washed her hands, despite mud caked on her hands. Or your teen tells you he got home last night at curfew when you heard him come in a half-hour late. Whatever the lie, it’s a frustrating challenge for parents. But when we understand why kids lie, we can help our kids become more honest.

Lying isn’t always done with ulterior motives. When your preschooler starts lying, it’s simply a new developmental milestone, according to research by Kang Lee, a University of Toronto professor and director of the Institute of Child Study.

This shift signifies changes in the way your child organizes information. It’s a normal step, so you don’t need to worry about your little one becoming a

24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

[ PARENTING ] pathological liar. The study shows that lying is common

we’re giving our children the opportunity to tell a lie.

from age 4 to 17, and by age 7, kids can tell a lie so well

Instead, emphasize ways to address the situation. If you

that often their parents can’t even tell they’re being

know Evan hasn’t touched his homework, ask him, “What

untruthful. But after age 17, lying decreases – so it’s

are your plans for finishing your homework?” Instead of

not necessarily a problem that will follow our kids into

“Where did all this mud come from?” ask, “What can

adulthood.

we do to clean this up and make sure it doesn’t happen next time?”

That said, many times kids do have a legitimate reason for stretching the truth – they want to avoid punishment,

This can help head off a power struggle and allows

disappointing their parents or an unpleasant outcome.

your child to save face by focusing on a plan of action instead of fabricating an excuse. It also teaches a

Would you be honest if you knew it would cause you

lesson of what they can do next time – sitting down with

humiliation, a lecture, a punishment or being yelled

homework right after school or taking off their shoes

at? It’s hard for a child to tell the truth when they know

in the mudroom instead of the living room – to avoid

those will be the outcomes. Your child doesn’t want to

problems.

disappoint you, either. So they may fib about a poor choice they made or make up ridiculous stories to

3. Get the whole truth.

impress you.

While we may want to put our child on the spot when we catch them in a lie, accusing or blaming them will only

And naturally, when our kids blatantly lie to us, we want

make things worse. Getting to the root of the problem

to punish them to make sure it doesn’t happen again.

and understanding why she couldn’t be honest with you

Unfortunately, that’s exactly what happens – when we

will help you encourage your child to tell the truth in the

punish kids for lying, they’ll keep doing it in the hopes of

future.

avoiding any future punishment.

Open up a conversation gently, saying, “that sounds like So if we can’t punish them, how do we put a stop to the

a story to me. You must be worried about something and

lies? Keeping in mind the reasons why kids lie, we can

afraid to tell the truth. Let’s talk about that. What would

create an environment where they feel safe telling the

help you be honest?” You can use the information you

truth. The following seven tips can help you make your

glean to help her be more truthful in the future.

home a more honest place.

4. Celebrate honesty.

1. Keep calm and parent on.

Even if you’re upset that there’s a sea of water on the

Watch how you respond to misbehavior and mistakes

bathroom floor because your daughter tried to give her

in your home, whether it’s spilled juice on the carpet

dolls a bath in the sink, commend her for coming to you

or unfinished chores. If your kids worry about being

and telling the truth.

yelled at or punished when they mess up, they won’t want to come to you with the truth. Focus on using a

Tell her, “I really appreciate you telling me what really

calm voice – yes, it can be tough, but it’s possible. That

happened. That must have been difficult for you, but

doesn’t mean kids are off the hook for lying. But instead

I really appreciate you telling the truth and taking

of getting angry and assigning blame, discuss solutions

responsibility.”

to the problem with your child.

5. Delight in do-overs.

2. Don’t set up a lie.

Think of mistakes as a way to learn how to make better

If you can see piles of laundry on your daughter’s floor,

choices. When we stay calm and avoid yelling or

don’t ask her if she’s cleaned up her room yet. When

punishing our kids for mistakes, our kids will be more likely

we ask questions to which we already know the answer,

to admit their slip-ups in the future. Turn the mistake into APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25

[ PARENTING ] a learning opportunity.

they’re showing your kids that it’s okay to lie.

Ask, “If you could have a do-over, what would you do

Final Thoughts

differently?” and brainstorm different ideas. If someone

These tips will help start your family on a path for a more

else was affected – maybe he broke his sister’s scooter –

honest household. But remember it takes time to build

ask what he can do to make it right with the other party.

up trust. Be patient. However, if your child continues to lie often or lies with the intention of hurting others, you may

6. Show the love.

Let your kids know you love them unconditionally, even when they make mistakes. Make sure they know that while you don’t like their poor behavior, you will never love them any less because of the mistakes they might make. This helps your kids feel safe opening up to you.

want to consider counseling or other professional help.

I also teach may other strategies to encourage honesty in my my online parenting course. If you want to see if it’s a good fit for your family, I’d love for you to JOIN ME FOR A FREE ONLINE CLASS.

7. Walk the talk.

Remember that your kids are always looking to you and

Creating an environment where kids feel safe telling

learning from your actions. Those little white lies we tell,

the truth not only cuts down on lying day to day, but it

whether it’s to get out of dog sitting for the neighbors

helps your child build character traits that will serve her

or helping with the school fundraiser, aren’t harmless –

throughout adulthood.

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26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

[ HEALTH & WELLNESS ]

9 Ways to Make Your Groceries Stay Fresh Longer

by Catherine McCord Every Sunday I shop at our local farmers market to buy our fresh fruits, vegetables and more for the week. I've been reliving this ritual every week for over 20 years and get endless satisfaction from the experience. I love visiting with the farmers, nibbling on new seasonal produce and watching my kids learning about different foods. My one pet peeve, though, is when food goes bad before I'm ready to eat it. Over the years I've come up with strategies to make my berries stay fresh up to 2 weeks and greens even longer. By taking a few minutes extra each week I've created these 9 ways to make your groceries stay fresher longer.

1. Fruits and veggies produce condensation as they chill, and paper towels will help to absorb that excess moisture.

2. Line the crisper drawer in your fridge with paper towels and store carrots, cucumbers, bell peppers and other whole fruits and veggies either loose or in their original containers.

3. Leafy greens can be washed, dried in a salad spinner, then wrapped in a paper towel before being placed in a breathable bag and stored in the fridge.

4. Berries should not be washed until you're ready to use them. Line a glass container with a paper towel, place the unwashed berries and top with another paper towel. When ready to eat, spray with a fruit and vegetable wash, rinse with water, and serve.

5. Tomatoes, avocados, and bananas should be stored at room temperate on the counter. Keep them away from apples so they don't go bad. On the other hand, if you need any of these to ripen quickly, put them in a paper bag with an apple, fold closed, and leave on the counter overnight.

Catherine McCord created Weelicious. com to show parents how easy and beneficial it is to expose children to homemade food. Weelicious houses 1,200+ original recipes and 200+ videos, with new content weekly.

In 2012, Catherine published her first book, Weelicious: One Family.

One Meal. with 140 “easy, fresh, and fun� recipes. Her second book, Weelicious Lunches: Think Outside the Lunchbox published September 2013. With 160+ recipes, Catherine provides solutions beyond the standard PB&J.

6. Mushrooms need room to breathe. Transfer them to a brown paper bag and store in the fridge.

7. Think of fresh herbs like flowers. Store them in a glass filled with water in the windowsill or a section of your counter that gets some sunlight.

8. Store potatoes and sweet potatoes in a drawer, or other cool dark place.

9. Nuts and seeds can be transferred to an airtight glass container and stored in the freezer so they can remain fresh to use for a year or more.

Share your best tips for storing fresh fruits and vegetables in the comments below! Check out my freezer organization for more food storage tips.

APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27

[ SEASONAL EVENTS ]

EGG-citing

BUNNY SIGHTINGS & EASTER EGG HUNTS!

MARCH 31 - APRIL 20 Easter Bunny at Blackhawk Plaza Monday-Saturday 11:00 am - 7:00 pm Sunday 11:00 am - 6:00 pm www.shopblackhawkplaza.com

APRIL 7 25th Annual Eggster Egg Hunt and Learning Festival Campanile Esplanade (Sather Tower), UC Berkeley 1-5pm eggster.berkeley.edu

APRIL 13 Spring on The Row Santana Row in Park Valencia San Jose 10am- 2pm www.santanarow.com Kids Easter Event!

Stoneridge Shopping Center Pleasanton 10-11am www.simon.com/mall/stoneridgeshopping-center

Splash Into Spring Egg Scramble Crab Cove Picnic Area Alameda 10am - 12pm www.alamedaca.gov

APRIL 20 74th Annual Egg Hunt & Bonnet Parade!

Skywwest Golf Couse Hayward 9am www.facebook.com/ events/402870380522305 Spring Eggstravaganza!

Emerald Glen Park Dublin 8:30am, 9:30am, 10:30am, 11:30am www.dublin.ca.gov/287/SpringEggstravaganza

28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

Spring Carnival & Community Expo Emeryville 10am www.ci.emeryville.ca.us/199/SpringCarnival-Community-Expo Eggstravaganza Danville Community Center Danville 11:3-am – 1:3-pm apm.activecommunities.com 39th Annual Easter Egg Hunt and Parade Robin Sweeny Park Sausalito 9:45am www.sausalito.gov/departments/parksand-recreation/events/easter-paradeand-egg-hunt

[ SEASONAL EVENTS ]

Half Moon Bay Easter Egg Hunt Cunha Middle School Soccer Complex Half Moon Bay 11am visithalfmoonbay.org/easter-egg-hunt

Epic Easter Egg Drop SJ Giants Stadium, San Jose 10am www. southridgesanjose.com

Annual Easter Egg Hung Holbrook-Palmer Park Atherton 9:30am www.friendsofholbrookpalmerpark.org

APRIL 20 & 21

Big Bunny 5K and Kids Fun Run Cupertino Civic Center Cupertino 8:30 - 11:30am www.bigbunny5k.com

Pixieland Easter’s Speggtacular Pixieland Concord Sat – 10am- 5pm Sun 10am – 4pm www.pixieland.com

APRIL 21 Union Street’s Easter Parade and Spring Celebration San Francisco 10am – 5pm unionstreetevents.com

APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29

[ PARENTING ]

Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. is a psychoanalyst with specialized clinical training in infant-parent, child, adolescent, and adult psychotherapy. She has been on the faculties of New York University and the Society for Psychoanalytic Study and Research, among others. She has written extensively on parenting for various publications, including the Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, The International Journal of Infant Observation, The Inner World of the Mother, Newsday’s Parents & Children Magazine, Long Island Parent. She also wrote her popular column, PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE, at Moms Magazine and has been a parenting expert for numerous publications such as Good Housekeeping. and Bustle Lifestyle. She currently writes for Active Family Magazine (San Francisco) and blogs for Huffington Post. Her new book is Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior. To learn more go to Dr. Hollman’s website at www.lauriehollmanphd.com.

She’s Not Bossy, She’s a Leader: 15 Ways to Know a Bossy Child from a Potential Leader

by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. It’s so common to see little three and four-year-olds telling their peers and adults what to do with such ferocity you wonder where that gumption came from. It stops being cute when they keep demanding their way and you find yourself helpless to curb their appetites for getting what they want from others all the time. They expect their peers to play what they choose, follow their rules for as long as they want until they change the rules to suit them or change the game.

Given they’re only three or four, maybe there’s something positive going on that you don’t want to shake or curb too quickly. Maybe these are future organizers, leaders, captains, and go-getters who will do good for the world.

How do you know the difference between bosses and leaders? By ages five and six, you can tell the difference. These are ages when developmentally empathy should be coming into play.

15 Ways to Separate Out Little Bosses from Prospective Leaders 1. The leaders learn limits. After a while they let someone else choose the game or at least compromise and take turns.

2. The leaders by age four have some regard for others’ feelings. They stop demanding their way if they see someone is upset by this.

30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

[ PARENTING ] 3. The leaders develop some restraint. They suppress their wishes to control everyone and demonstrate

10. The leaders may be outspoken but don’t hurt people in the process.

sensitivity and understanding of others’ wishes.

11. The leaders slowly begin to think before they act.

4. The leaders are honest about what they want without trying to fool others by changing the rules just to get what they want or to win unfairly.

5. The leaders know how to be cheerful when they don’t get their way.

6. The leaders know when to stop and listen to

12. The leaders like being the center of attention but not at the expense of others.

13. The leaders start to realize others have good ideas, too.

14. The leaders use their gusto for accomplishing goals.

someone else.

15. The leaders may be dominating but know how to be 7.

The leaders don’t take advantage of the shy, more

likeable.

reticent children.

So if your preschooler bosses his friends, later you may 8. The leaders are enthusiastic and sociable but make friends with those who are more passive as well.

ask if he thought about how some of the other kids were feeling when he got his way all afternoon. This may be a new notion and he may not be capable of answering

9. The leaders become less demanding of others

right away but you’re steering him, not shutting him

while staying demanding of themselves. They are

down. You’re guiding him, not punishing away what may

hardworking and persistent.

become a source of later accomplishment.

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[ HEALTH & WELLNESS ] As the founder of Timeless Anti-Aging and Wellness Clinic, my mission was to create a pristine and soothing spa setting where one can let go of the worries of the world and enjoy the highest quality, clean skincare treatments and state-ofthe-art procedures. As each person is unique, so is their skin and individual needs. You will benefit from a customized approach that is right for you.

My mindset as a licensed PA-C is to enhance patients natural features in a subtle way. I value healthy skin and overall health. With 15 years of experience, I embrace an attitude of holistic wellness, where mind, body and soul are considered.

Focusing on clean, whole foods and proper nutrition is important as well. Timeless Clinic provides safe, effective therapies that help you look and feel your best.

The Facts about Microneedling

by Amber Ross PA_C 1. What is microneedling?

The purpose of this treatment is to generate new collagen, it is a collagen induction therapy. It uses tiny needles to penetrate the skin 1.5-2mm causing micro injury to the collagen layer, which induces new collagen growth.

2. How does it feel?

Numbing cream should be applyed 15-20 min before treatment to prevent any pain.

32 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

[ HEALTH & WELLNESS ] 3. What are the benifits of microneedling?

The healing process increases collagen production which leads to smoother, firmer, more toned skin. It also treats fine lines and wrinkles, shrinks pore size and helps with scarring.

4. How offten should microneedling be done?

We recomend 3-6 treatment every 4 weeks. You will start to see results in the first 3-4 weeks after the first treetment.

5. What the downtime?

Within the first 24 hours you will be red and swollen. The next day will feel chaped like a sunburn, a few days later you may experence some peeling. A new layer of skin is produced during the healing process and the old skin begins peeling off.

6. What's the cost?

A Microneedling treatment is $450

APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 33

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t h a t FITS!

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*Preschool State License Numbers: 073402482, 073406680, 013420588, 013423042, 434404890, 434413440, 434410816, 434408056, 013420939, 414004014, 384001837, 384004006, 434407977, 434408877, 434410807, 434404336, 434406722. Copyright © 2019 Stratford Schools, Inc. .

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Sign-up Today!

StratfordSchools.com/summer-camp

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Camp Sessions June 10 – August 9

AND CO

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[ SUMMER CAMP ]

ZOOCAMP Affordable Family Vacations at Lake Tahoe

Family Camp Sessions: June 22 through July 14 & July 30 through Aug 12

REGISTRATION NOW OPEN! oaklandzoo.org

36 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

campconcord.org ● (925) 671-3006

[ SUMMER CAMP Programs available at

A traditional summer camp experience

Celebrating

20 Years

925.937.6500 • Adventuredaycamp.com

]

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Summer Alameda County ALAMEDA Alameda School of Music 1307 High St. 510.769.0195 www.alamusic.org

Camp Bladium 800 West Tower Ave 510.814.4999 www.bladiumalameda.com/ youth-kids/kids-camps

BERKELEY Music Discovery Workshop 2005 Berryman St. 510.528.1725 www.sfems.org

St. John’s Camp Elmwood 2727 College Ave. 510.845.6830 www.stjohnsberkeley.org/ campelmwood

Sticky Art Lab 1682 University Ave. 510.981.1148 www.stickyartlab.com

City of Dublin 100 Civic Plaza 925.556.4500 www.ci.dublin.ca.us

Young Writers Camp UC Berkeley Campus 510.642.0971

Valley Christian School 7500 Inspiration Dr. 925.560.6270

www.bawpwritingcamp.org

www.ValleyChristianSchools.org

Green Stuff Summer Camp UC Berkeley Botanical Gardens 510.643.4832

Edge Gymnastics Training Center 6780 Sierra Court St. K 925.479.9904

www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

www.edge-gymnastics.com

Lawrence Hall of Science UC Berkeley 510.642.5134

Kidz Kraftz Quail Creek Cir. 925.271.0015

www.lawrencehallofscience.org

www.kidzkraftz.com/camps

BERKELEY/ECHO LAKE

Tri-Valley YMCA 6693 Sierra Ln 925.263.4444

Berkeley Echo Lake Camp Lot #7 Echo Lakes Rd 530.659.7539 www.cityofberkeley.info/camps

CASTRO VALLEY Skye Valley Training Camp 10250 Crow Canyon Rd 925.858.8825 www.psi.lunariffic.com/~skyev0/

Sarah’s Science 21525 Knoll Way 510.581.3739 www.sarahscience.com

Camp Kee Tov 1301 Oxford St. 510.842.2372 www.campkeetov.org

Bee Best Learning 20394 San Miguel Ave. 510.728.2110 www.beebestlearning.com

Habitot 2065 Kittredge St. 510.647.1111 ext. 14 www.habitot.org/museum/ activities_camps.html

Monkey Business Camp 2880A Sacramento St. 510.540.6025

www.trivalley.ymcaeastbay.org

Extended Day Child Care 8435 Davona Dr. 925.829.4043 & 7997 Vomac Rd. 925.551.8170 7243 Tamarack Dr. 925.833.0127 & 5301 Hibernia Dr. 925.803.4154 & 3300 Antone Way 925.826.5538 www.extendeddaychildcare.com

Quarry Lane School 6363 Tassajara Rd. 925.829.8000

DUBLIN

www.quarrylane.org

East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 4651 Gleason Dr. 925.479.9670

FREMONT

www.eastbayspca.org/camp

www.monkeybusinesscamp.com

38 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

Learning Bee Summer Camp 39977 Mission Blvd.

510.226.8408 www.learningbeeusa.com

Ohlone for Kids 43600 Mission Blvd.

510.659.6000 www.ohlone.edu/org/ ohloneforkids

HAYWARD Hayward Area Recreation Park District (H.A.R.D.) Day Camps 510.881.6700 www.haywardrec.org

LIVERMORE Horizons East Equestrian Center 5111 Doolan Rd. 925.960.9696 www.showstables.com

Roy’s Magic Camp 2466 8th St. 925.455.0600 www.magiccamp.org

Camp Arroyo Taylor Family Foundation 5535 Arroyo Rd. 925.371.8401 www.ebparks.org/activities/ daycamps/parks_camp_arroyo

Saddle to Ride Topline Training, Inc. 4180 Greenville Rd. 925.858.3933 www.saddle2ride.com

Xtreme Force Dance Company 847 Rincon Ave. 925.455.6054 www.xtremeforcedanceco.com

Double Diamond Sports Academy 2272 Research Dr. 925.830.9765 www. doublediamondsportsacademy. com

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camps Valley Montessori 1273 N. Livermore Ave. 925.455.8021

MOCHA Summer Camp 1625 Clay St. 510.465.8770

Contra Costa County

www.valleymontessorischool.com

www.mocha.org

OAKLAND

PLEASANTON

Lakeshore Children’s Center 3534 Lakeshore Ave. 510.893.4048

Gingerbread Preschool 4333 Black Ave. 925.931.3430

City of Antioch Parks and Recreation 213 “F” St 925.776.7070

www.lakeshorechildrenscenter.org

www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us/services/ recreation/gb/gbhome.html

Urban Adventure Camp 5701 Cabot Dr. 510.339.0676 www.urbanadventurecamps.com

Extended Day Child Care 5199 Black Ave. 925.846.5519 www.extendeddaychildcare.com

East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 8323 Baldwin St. 510.569.0702 www.eastbayspca.org/camp

Quarry Lane School - East 3750 Boulder St. 925.846.9400 www.quarrylane.org

California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 4660 Harbord Dr. 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html

Oakland Summer ZooCamp 9777 Golf Links Rd. 510.632.9525 www.oaklandzoo.org

Lake Merritt Boating Center Youth Boating Camps 568 Bellevue Ave. 510.238.2196 www.sailoakland.com

Raskob Learning Institute 3520 Mountain Blvd.

510.436.1275 www.raskobinstitute.org

Kids N’ Dance 3840 Macarthur Blvd.

510.531.4400 www.kidsndance.com

Quarry Lane School - West 4444B Black Ave. 925.462.6300 www.quarrylane.org

ANTIOCH

City of Danville Camps 420 Front St. 925.314.3400 www.danville.ca.gov/Recreation/ Camps

www.ci.antioch.ca.us/Recreation

Four Stars Gymnastics Academy 1799 Vineyard Dr. 925.778.8650

Vision Tech Camps 117 Town & Country Dr. St. B 925.699.9602 www.visiontechcamps.com

Athenian Summer Programs at Athenian School 2100 Mt. Diablo Scenic Blvd 925.837.5375

www.fourstarsgym.com

CONCORD City of Concord Parks and Recreation 925.671.3404

www.athenian.org

www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps

Camp Concord in South Lake Tahoe 1000 Mt. Tallac Trailhead Rd South Lake Tahoe 530.541.1203

Yang Fan Academy 4160 Hacienda Dr. St. 100 925.699.4664

www.ci.concord.ca.us/recreation/ camp

www.yfacademy.org

Backyard Explorers Corner of Babel Ln & Cowell Rd. 925.671.3118

City of Pleasanton Summer Programs 200 Old Bernal Ave. 925.931.3436

DANVILLE

Color Bundles 301 Hartz Ave. #104 925.727.3137 www.colorbundles.com

Camp Brainy Bunch 741 Brookside Dr. 510.548.4800 www.campbrainybunch.com

Quest Therapeutic Camps Charlotte Wood Middle School 600 El Captain Dr. 925.743.2900 www.questcamps.com

www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps/backyardexp.htm

www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us

Expressions Dance & Art 3015 Hopyard Rd. Ste. I 925.200.9908 www.expressions-dance-arts.com/

Young Ivy Academy 5460 Sunol Blvd (#3) 925.548.0188 www.youngivyacademy.com

Inspire Music Academy 2340 Santa Rita Rd. Ste. 7 925.461.3266 www.inspiremusicacademy.com

APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 39

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Summer LAFAYETTE California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 1000 Upper Happy Valley Rd 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html

Kids N’ Dance 3369 Mt. Diablo 925.284.7388 www.kidsndance.com

Sienna Ranch 3232 Deer Hill Rd. 925.283.6311 www.siennaranch.net

Sherman Swim School 1075 Carol Ln. 925.283.2100 www.shermanswim.com

www.frenchforfun.com

Lafayette Tennis Club 3125 Camino Diablo 925.937.2582 www.lafayettetennis.com

Husky House for Kids 3855 Happy Valley Rd. 925.283.7100 www.huskyhouseforkids.org/ summer-camp-programs

Lafayette Community Center Camps 500 Saint Mary’s Rd. 925.284.2232 www.lafayetterec.org

Roughing It Day Camp 1010 Oak Hill Rd. 925.283.3795 www.roughingit.com

BandWorks Summer Camp 28 Orinda Way 925.254.2445 www.bandworks.com/summer_ orinda.php

Orinda Academy 19 Altarinda Rd. 925.478.4504

Lindsay Wildlife Museum Summer Science Camp 1931 First Ave. 925.935.1978 www.wildlife-museum.org

Camp ARF for Kids 2890 Mitchell Dr. 925.256.1273 www.youth.arf.net

Merriewood Children’s Center 561 Merriewood Dr. 925.284.2121

www.orindaacademy.org

Camp Doodle 66 St. Stephens Dr.

City of Walnut Creek Summer Camps 1666 North Main St. 925.943.5899

www.merriewood.org

www.campdoodles.com

www.walnut-creek.org

MARTINEZ

PLEASANT HILL

John Muir Mountain Day Camp John Muir National Historic Site 925.680.8807

City of Pleasant Hill Camps 147 Gregory Ln 925.682.0896

Castle Rock Arabians 1350 Castle Rock Rd. 925.933.3701

www.johnmuirassociation.org/ muircamp/index.php

French For Fun 3381 Mt. Diablo Blvd 925.283.9822

ORINDA

Rancho Saguaro 1050 Pereira Rd. 925.788.5200 www.ranchosaguaro.com

MORAGA Gaels Summer Camp 1928 St Mary’s Rd. 925.631.4FUN www.smcgaels.com

Camp Saklan 1678 School St. 925.376.7900 www.saklan.org/about-us/campsaklan

OAKLEY City of Oakley Parks and Recreation 3231 Main St. 925.625.7044 www.ci.oakley.ca.us

Diamond Hills Sports Club 1510 Neroly Rd. 925.420.4575 www.sparetimeclubs.com

40 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

www.castlerockarabians.com

www.pleasanthillrec.com

PITTSBURG City of Pittsburg Parks and Recreation 300 Presido Ln. 925.252.4842 www.ci.pittsburg.ca.us

SAN RAMON City of San Ramon Camps 2226 Camino Ramon 925.973.2500 www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us

School of Rock San Ramon 460 Montgomery Street 925.415.3340 510.207.9281 bit.ly/SORsanramoncamps

Adventure Day Camp Dorris-Eaton School One Annabel Lane 925.937.6500 www.adventuredaycamp.com

WALNUT CREEK Adventure Day Camp Seven Hills School 975 North San Carlos Dr. 925.937.6500 www.adventuredaycamp.com

Multiple Locations The Growing Room Academy Various locations around the Bay Offers: 3,4 and 5 Day Camps 925.837.4392 www.thegrowingroom.org

Camp Rocks: Girl Scouts of Northern California Offered at 5 locations: San Rafael (Camp Bothin), Santa Cruz (Skylark Ranch), San Jose (Camp Metro Day Camp), North Lake Tahoe (Deer Lake), and the Sierra Nevada Mountains (Sugar Pine) 800.447.4475 ext. 2091 www.camprocks.org

Mad Science Camp Offered at several local Recreation sites and Community Centers 925.687.1900 www.mtdiablo.madscience.org

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camps Steve and Kate’s Camp Danville, Dublin, Fremont, Oakland, Walnut Creek and Berkeley 415.389.5437 www.steveandkatescamp.com

Camp Galileo Alameda, Alamo, Berkeley, San Ramon, Walnut Creek, Fremont, Oakland, Lafayette and Orinda 510.595.7293

Lango Language Summer Camps Serving Alamo, Blackhawk, Brentwood, Briones, Canyon, Clayton, Concord, Danville, Martinez, Moraga, Orinda, Pacheco, Pittsburg, Pleasant Hill, San Ramon, Walnut Creek and surrounding regions 888.445.2646 www.langokids.com/parent/kidslanguage-summer-camps

Out of Area Golden Arrow Camps 644 Pollasky Avenue, Ste. 100 Clovis, 93612 800.554.CAMP www.goldarrowcamp.com

Coppercreek Camp 1887 Williams Valley Rd. Greenville, 95947 800.350.0006 www.coppercreek.com

www.galileo-learning.com

KinderCare Walnut Creek, Concord, Danville, Martinez and Clayton 888.523.6765 www.kindercare.com/ summercamp

Viva el Espanol!

Lafayette, Piedmont, Pleasanton & San Anselmo 925.962.9177 www.vivaelespanol.org/ summerprograms.php

Club Sport Fremont, San Ramon, Pleasanton and Walnut Creek 925.938.8700 www.clubsports.com

Camp Edmo Alameda, Fremont, and Oakland 415.282.6673 www.campedmo.org

Kids’ Carpentry Berkeley, Lafayette, Alameda, Oakland, Alamo & Walnut Creek 510.524.9232

Stratford School Summer Sports Camp & Enrichment Danville, Fremont, Los Gatos, Morgan Hill and Pleasanton 925.737.0001

www.kidscarpentry.com

www.stratfordschools.com

www.techknowhowkids.com

Sky hawk’s Sports Camp Various locations around the Bay Area 800.804.3509

iD Tech Camp Moraga, Concord, Livermore, Berkeley and other Bay Area locations www.idtech.com

www.skyhawks.com

TechKnowHow Kids Dublin, Berkeley, Fremont, Livermore, Oakland & Pleasanton 650.638.0500

Camp Unalayee 3921 East Bayshore Rd. Palo Alto 650.969.6313 www.unalayee-summer-camp.com

CYO Summer Camp 2136 Bohemian Hwy Occidental, 95465 707.874.0200

SF Zoo Camp Sloat Blvd. & the Great Highway San Francisco 415.753.7080 www.sfzoo.org Almaden Equestrian Center 20100 Almaden Rd. San Jose 408.927.0232 www.almadenequestriancenter.net

Silver Creek Sportsplex 800 Embedded Way San Jose 408.224.8774 www.gotoplex.com

College For Kids 1700 W. Hillsdale Blvd.

San Mateo 650.574.6149 www.collegeforkids-smccd.com

www.camp.cccyo.org

Mountain Camp Woodside 302 Portola Rd. Portola Valley 650.576.2267 www.mountaincampwoodside.com

School of Rock Summer Camp 711 South B St. San Mateo, San Jose & Palo Alto 650.347.3474 www.schoolofrock.com

Camp Tawonga 131 Steuart Ste. 460 San Francisco 415.543.2267 www.tawonga.org

Kennolyn Camps 8205 Glen Haven Rd. Soquel 831.479.6714 www.kennolyncamps.com

888.709.8324

APRIL 2019 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 41

[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

5

WHERE CURIOSITY TAKES YOU Step inside a tornado, turn upside down in a giant curved mirror, walk on a fog bridge, and explore more than 650 hands-on exhibits for visitors of all ages. You’ll find all of this plus unique programs; a café and restaurant; two stores; and more at our beautiful San Francisco bayside location.

Now through September 3rd, don’t miss Inflatable: Expanding Works of Art—where gigantic, fantastical air-filled artworks reimagine what air can become. Inflatable is included with museum admission.

Pier 15 on the Embarcadero •

exploratorium.edu/visit

42 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019

Rated #1 Museum in San Francisco

®

Preschool

Education is a Lifelong Commitment

®

Discover Quarry Lane

NOW ENROLLING Join our Open House every Wednesday! www.QuarryLane.org/Preschool

Toddler, Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten Academic-Based Curriculum Passionate, Experienced Educators

PLEASANTON WEST CAMPUS Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten 4444B Black Ave., Pleasanton, CA

925.462.6300

Full and Half Day Schedules Computer, Spanish, Music, P.E., and Library Two Preschool Campuses in Pleasanton

PLEASANTON EAST CAMPUS Toddler through Pre-Kindergarten 3750 Boulder St., Pleasanton, CA

925.846.9400

CA Licenses: 013411303, 013411304, 013411305, 013417681

44 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2019