APRIL 2020
How to
HELP TEENS SHELTER IN PLACE
How to Cope with Stress During Covid-19
EASTER BRUNCH FROM WEELICIOUS
Volume 7 / Issue 74
[ PARENTING ] Quarantine Forced Togethernes
6
When Parents Disagree on Discipline: 8 Steps to Harmonious Parenting
Distance Learning in this New Era: Advice from Stratford School
24
18
How to Help Teens Shelter in Place
[ RECIPES ] Easter Brunch
How to Cope with Stress During Covid-19
10
14
22
[ SUMMER CAMPS ] Summer Camp Guide
26
22 2 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
10
14
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Editor’s Note These are unprecedented times we are living in and we hope that you are your family remain safe and healthy. This is not the issue we had anticipated for Spring, but here we are nonetheless. Instead of ideas for Easter egg hunts, a feature on where to find the Easter Bunny or inspiration for your next summer vacation, we are dedicating this issue to our current state of affairs; Covid-19. Please turn the pages to find advice from our amazing experts, addressing the pandemic and ways in which we can remain sane during this trying time. We are thinking of all of our readers during this time. Please stay safe. We are all in this together. Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com
4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
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[ PARENTING ]
Quarantine Forced Togetherness by Dr. Laura Markham "One of my children is having such a hard time that he's making everyone in the family miserable. How do we keep our kids from each others' throats when Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone. You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.
6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
we're all home, all the time?!" Family life is hard enough in ordinary times, because kids are still learning basic skills to get their needs met without attacking others .... and, truth be told, so are parents. So right now, in the middle of the virus pandemic, it's not surprising that many homes feel like a pressure cooker. If your children are at each others' throats and you're getting fed up, you're not alone. It's natural to snap and start shouting threats. But since all humans rebel against control, you just end up escalating the drama. And since punishment
[ PARENTING ] doesn't address the emotions and needs causing
being part of their group of schoolmates. Unfortunately,
your children's "bad" behavior, this approach ends up
playing with their sibling sometimes isn't much of a
creating more antagonism.
substitute -- it just reminds them of what they're missing, because the sibling can't hope to replicate their
Luckily, there's a better way. Address the needs and
friendships.
feelings that are driving the behavior, and you can nip it in the bud. Here are five family habits you can structure
• Set up regular video "playdates" or hangouts for
into your life in quarantine to help with emotions, meet
your child who misses their friends. It's not the same,
needs and heal sibling rivalry -- for more peace and
of course, but there are ways to help kids past
affection all around.
the awkwardness so they can connect. Younger kids might each use clay to create monsters,
1. Insure personal space.
demonstrating for each other how the monsters roar
One effect of being cooped up together is that it's easy
or fly. Older kids can play chess, or chat while they
to get on each other's nerves. Everyone needs some
draw. Kids who are into pretend play can come up
downtime to "just be" with themselves and replenish
with stories together; kids who are into building things
their batteries. Yes, extroverts need this time too,
can show each other their latest creations. Kids can
although they often don't need as much of it. Without
even do science experiments or baking while their
some downtime, all children get over-stimulated, which
friend follows the same instructions, chatting, keeping
eventually leads to crash and burn.
each other on track, and comparing their results.
• Teach your child the words to help them disengage
• If your child's school has a Morning Circle or an
from siblings when they've had enough time together:
afternoon Closing Circle, it's worth structuring your
"I really like playing with you. Right now I'm starting to
day to be sure your child gets to participate. (Don't
feel crabby so I need some time by myself."
feel guilty about keeping schoolwork to a minimum in between, especially for kids who need more
• Be your child's backup by diverting the sibling: "Your brother loves you and will play with you later. Right
supervision. Your whole family might be better off spending a couple of hours outside.)
now he is going to read. What would you like to do?" • Step up your connection time with your children • Be sure that everyone in your family has a way to
to help them play with each other, which meets
withdraw to a quiet, cozy space when they need to.
everyone's need for contact -- even if it isn't your
You may want to designate one room of your home
child's first preference.
as the "Quiet Room." If your home is big enough, each person can have a room that is theirs, to withdraw to.
3. Balance Individual Needs Your children's needs may well clash right now, so try to
• This is the time for headphones, so no one is subjecting the rest of the family to their screen and music
articulate and address those differences without making anyone wrong.
preferences. • "You are just full of energy this morning, aren't you? It • You do need a family schedule to stay sane. Be sure
looks to me like you sister isn't really awake yet, and
that Quiet Time or Me Time ispart of each day, for
she needs a little time to herself. Why don't you and
everyone.
I head up to the park for awhile? You can play with your sister later, when she's ready."
2. Address Social Isolation Many children are suffering because of the social isolation. They miss playing with their friends. They miss
• If one child wants more interaction than the other one, try setting up daily "Special Time" between APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 7
[ PARENTING ] these two siblings. You may have to help them find
• Empathizing with each child -- without making the
an activity that they'll both enjoy, but research
other one wrong -- helps kids feel acknowledged,
shows that when children have fun together, their
even when they can't get what they want. "It sounds
relationship improves, even if they fight at other times.
like YOU want some peace and quiet. And YOU want
Of course, after their "Sibling Special Time" you'll need
to dance to your music! This is a tough situation. I
to protect your child's right to time without her sibling,
wonder how we can work this out?"
which will mean that you find a way to keep the sibling occupied.
• When tensions start to rise, step in to uphold standards of respect, without shame or blame: "You two sound
• When one child is bugging another and you suspect they're just bored, step in to meet their need for
really mad at each other. You can tell each other what you need without attacking each other."
connection: "Are you out of hugs again? Let's see what we can do about that!"
• Instead of rushing in to correct and protect, coach your kids to stand up for themselves. "I hear some
• In normal times, it is not your older child's job to babysit your younger child. They're busy with
words that could really hurt. You can tell your sister 'I don't like it when you tease me.'"
schoolwork, peers, activities and important developmental tasks. But these are not normal times
• If one child persists, be your child's backup to uphold
and we all need to pitch in as a family. If you need
your family rules and teach repair: "Our family rule is
to work to keep your paycheck coming in, there's
Be Kind. Your brother is telling you how he felt when
nothing wrong with enrolling your older child to
you used those words. I wonder what you can do to
watch over younger sibs for short periods of time.
make things better with your brother now?"
But give clear guidelines so they know how to guide the younger child's behavior appropriately, how to handle specific issues, and when to interrupt
• Never compare your children, which increases competitiveness.
you. And be sure to make it worth their while, with appreciation, special privileges, and an increase in allowance.
• Parents often increase sibling rivalry because they don't know how to intervene in conflicts without creating more resentment. The articles linked to at
4. Disarm Sibling Rivalry and Teach Social Skills.
the end of this post will help you take your parenting
No matter much siblings love each other, most will at
game up a notch. And don't miss the section of the
times experience a twinge of worry that their parents
Aha! website that's devoted to Parenting Siblings.
might love their sibling more. At times of threat (and yes, a pandemic qualifies), this worry intensifies, and fighting
5. Help with Big Emotions.
may intensify. You can address this by making sure that
If your child is surly to everyone, they're clearly having a
each child feels uniquely appreciated, and that you're
hard time. Children are not immune to the fear infecting
not unwittingly increasing sibling rivalry by comparing
our entire society, even if they seem more concerned
your kids or intervening in conflicts so that one child feels
about that party they're missing. They may not be able
like they "lost." This is also a terrific opportunity to teach
to articulate it, but every child picks up on the tension
your kids the skills to work through their differences in
their parent is feeling, and it makes them anxious. A few
ways that bring them closer.
positive family habits can help kids work through their worries, reduce everyone's anxiety and make it easier to
• Special Time with each child is more important than
get along with each other.
ever, so they feel connected, seen, valued and safe. It also gives them a safe place to play out their worries, or bring them up verbally. 8 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
• Roughhousing reduces the stress hormones circulating in the body and should be on your daily
[ PARENTING ] schedule. Since roughhousing and laughter also
During the Coronavirus Pandemic School Closures) or
increase bonding hormones, find ways for your kids to
a gratitude practice at dinner every night.
laugh as they're physically active together. This is a scary, unprecedented time, which means that • Talk to your child about their feelings about the virus pandemic. Expressing fears, even unreasonable ones, to a caring witness has a way of making them more manageable. And when we allow ourselves to feel and acknowledge our big emotions, we start to gain conscious control over them, so their power begins to dissipate. • Welcome all emotions. Remember that behind anger
you're a saint if you're not more tense than usual. That means that you can expect tension between yourself and your children. Between yourself and your partner (see #8 at this link: 10 Solutions To Save Your Sanity During the Coronavirus Pandemic School Closures.) And of course, between your children, who after all have a less-developed prefrontal cortex, meaning they have a harder time managing their impulses.
you will usually find fear or sadness, so if your child is angry, resist taking the bait. Breathe deeply, stay
So build in family habits that help everyone work though
calm, and invite your child to show you all that upset:
big emotions. Be disciplined to do whatever you need to,
"You must be so upset to speak to me like this... Tell me
to keep yourself centered and your courage strong. And
more, Sweetheart.... I'm listening." The more safety you
most of all, give yourself and everyone around you some
can create with your tone, the more likely that your
grace. We can get through this in a way that makes us
child will move past the anger to the tears and fears
stronger.
beneath. (If your child gets stuck in anger but can't cry.) • Keep reminding yourself that kids pick up on what we're feeling. If you're a nervous wreck, or fighting with your partner, your children will feel the stress. Take responsibility for what you're radiating. That means developing a repertoire of practices to manage your own stress.
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• Turn off the news. It just increases everyone's anxiety. • Teach kids to manage their worries, with skills like Stop, Drop Breathe, Focusing on what they CAN control, rather than what they can't, and noticing how upsetting thoughts lead to upsetting feelings. • Start a family mindfulness practice, like listening to a guided meditation together every day (see #9 at
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[ PARENTING ]
Christine Carter, Ph.D.*, is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of “RAISING HAPPINESS: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.” She teaches online happiness classes that help parents bring more joy into their own lives and the lives of their children, and she writes an award-winning blog for *Greater Good* (www.greatergoodparents.org).
How to Help Teens Shelter in Place by Christine Carter, Ph.D. Teens are not made for isolation, which makes COVID-19 especially hard on them. Here's how to help your teenager to see the bigger picture. Last weekend, my kids began arriving home from their various schools. We invited our oldest daughter’s longtime best friend, Lena, over for a homecoming dinner. She’s like a member of our family, and we were excited to see her, too, despite closing schools and social-distancing recommendations. The kids are all healthy, we reasoned. We had Lena wash her hands when she came in; we resisted hugging her. On Monday we got a government order to shelter in place, and having had Lena over the night before suddenly seemed like a reckless mistake. But not all families in our neighborhood agree. Parents all around me are reasoning that their high schoolers have been hanging out together anyway, so they’ve already “shared germs.” Lots of seemingly rational (but dangerously short-sighted and scientifically
10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
[ PARENTING ] unvalidated) arguments for letting kids out of the house
In addition, their hard-wired attunement to social
are circulating, including the belief that teens and
status makes them super touchy about whether or not
college students won’t get seriously sick, and that they
they are being treated like children. Their most central
aren’t contributing to the spread of COVID-19 beyond
developmental job during adolescence is to individuate,
their “friend groups.”
to leave the nest and become independent from us, their parents. So, of course, they feel infantilized when
Teenagers, college students—and other families—can
ordered to shelter in place.
be difficult to control. When asked how she is holding up, a friend texted “2 of my kids are at home being good
What can we do to encourage teens to comply with
citizens and students doing homework. The other is at the
social-distancing measures? We need to work with their
beach with her friends being a part of the problem.”
existing motivations. Teens are unlikely to be persuaded by (brilliant! logical! passionate!) arguments that conflict
Another worried mother of younger kids proclaimed:
with their innate, developmental motives.
“Why, for the love of God, is it so hard to follow the guidelines and ISOLATE?”
Let’s start with their high motivation to individuate, to be out from under our control. We can work with this existing
It isn’t that we aren’t trying. Isolating teenagers and
motivation by treating them like competent young adults
young adults is hard. Another friend is understandably
rather than little kids. We can do this by:
coming unglued. “My kids keep skating around rules and being with friends every time I close my office door to
•
Expecting them to contribute to our household in
work.” She has two teenagers and a big corporate job
meaningful ways. They can help with meal prep
she’s got to keep doing. She’s trying to care for elderly in-
and household cleaning. We expect our kids to
laws, and her younger daughter needs medication that
keep family spaces clear of their belongings, and
she’s having trouble securing. “I feel like I should be able
also to help with actual cleaning by vacuuming
to control them. I’m trying. But my anxiety is so heavy. I’m
and wiping down the counters. Being nice to their
emotionally exhausted.”
siblings—keeping conflict low amid tight quarters—is a meaningful contribution. Planning fun activities
Time is of the essence. Accounts from Italy make it
for the family to do together might be the most
clear that we need to get our young people—those
important contribution of all!
who are carrying the coronavirus but not showing any symptoms—to stop spreading it. TODAY matters. “It
•
Allowing them to manage themselves, their own
only takes a one-day difference in action to see a 40
schoolwork, and their other responsibilities without
percent reduction in cases—that’s enormous. It really
nagging or cajoling. This does not mean that we
conveys the urgency of the situation,” infectious disease
won’t set expectations or establish the structure and
epidemiologist Dr. Britta Jewell explained to the New
support they need to function in this new reality. Nor
York Times.
does it mean that we won’t be engaged with them. It does mean that we give them space to operate
Teenagers and college students have amplified innate,
freely within the limits we agree to as a family.
developmental motivations that make them hard to isolate at home. The hormonal changes that come with
•
Asking them to help us with our work to the extent
puberty conspire with adolescent social dynamics to
that they can. “My kids keep interrupting me on
make them highly attuned to social status and peer
Zoom calls for stupid shit,” a friend texted me,
group. Friends feel like everything. Social isolation is
frustrated to the brink. Most teens need us to be
hard for humans of all ages, but it is more profoundly
clear about how their constant interruptions affect
distressing for adolescents—especially if they all think
us. Try using feeling words instead of criticizing them.
that their friends are all hanging out without them.
For example, explain rather than accuse: “I feel APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11
[ PARENTING ] embarrassed and stressed when I’m on a video
•
call and you keep asking me questions” vs. “It is inconsiderate and selfish of you to keep interrupting
We are wondering: What do you truly care most about in this crisis?
•
my meetings.”
Who can you help, and who are you concerned that you might harm? How can you use your skills to help the world right now?
•
Using non-controlling, non-directive language. One good way to do this is to ask them questions
•
Your grandchildren are going to ask you about the
instead of telling them what to do. For example: “Is
role you played during this pandemic. What will you
there anything that I can do to help you get some
tell them?
exercise today?” My all-time favorite question is this one: “What’s your plan?” As in: “What’s your plan for getting your homework done?” This makes it clear that they are still in control of their own behavior, and it helps put them in touch with their own motivations and intentions. Often teens simply need to make a plan, and sometimes if they aren’t asked to articulate it, they won’t do it—especially those who are used to being nagged because they know their parents will eventually get frustrated and do their planning for them. •
Acknowledge that all of this is so hard. Many students coming home from school are experiencing great losses right now. Their feelings of grief, anxiety, stress, and isolation are hard to cope with. And also: One of the great lessons of adulthood is that they can do hard things.
We can also tap into their high attunement to the social world by emphasizing their social value—how their lives
If they just aren’t getting it, try humor. This video is wildly inappropriate in many ways, which is why it could be hugely effective with teenagers. Not comfortable with that? Try asking them to demonstrate their understanding of this graph. Show them the videos coming out of Italy and hospitals here in the US pleading with folks to stay at home. Help them see that this is not about what they want or expect from life. It’s about what life is expecting from them right now. We expect them to rise to the occasion; to be a part of the solution, not a part of the problem. The best outcome right now is that we get the virus under control before our hospitals are collapsing. If this happens quickly, my family will accuse me of being too aggressive. They may be angry with me for having unnecessarily ruined a few weeks of their lives. That is the outcome I am hoping for.
have a purpose, meaning, and impact on other people. While Generation Z’s impact on this global pandemic
No matter what happens, there are incredible, urgent life
might be obvious to us adults, it’s not to many of our
lessons here. We are teaching our kids both directly and
kids. Here is what we said to our teen who was resisting
through our own example how to take responsibility—not
isolation:
just for ourselves and our immediate family, but for our local and global community, as well.
• •
We know that you want to see your friends. We know that you are bored and lonely.
We are all being called to demonstrate our character
We hope you see clearly that you are not a passive
and commitment to others and to the greater good. Our
actor here, along for the ride. Your actions are
young people are being called, too. Let’s give them the
directly affecting the course of this crisis.
opportunity to step up.
12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
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APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13
[ RECIPES ]
Easter BRUNCH Easter Brunch is a must and presents a wonderful way to work together as a family to create a scrumptious meal! Weelicous.com has provided some fabulous recipes below. For more recipes, please go to www.weelicious.com/27-easter-recipes.
CARROT GINGER SOUP (serves 4) Prep Time: 5 mins Cook Time: 20 mins
INGREDIENTS • 1 tablespoon olive oil • 1 small yellow onion, diced • 1 16 ounce bag baby carrots • 2 tablespoons fresh ginger, peeled and chopped • 1 teaspoon kosher salt • 1 32 ounce box low sodium vegetable stock (you could also use low sodium chicken stock)
PREPARATION 1. Heat the oil in a stock pot over medium heat and sauté the onion for 4-5 minutes or until translucent. 2. Add the stock, ginger, carrots and salt, bring the liquid to a boil, reduce to a simmer and cook for 15-20 minutes or until carrots are fork tender. 3. Puree the soup using a hand blender or in a blender until creamy and smooth. 4. Serve topped with a dollop or yogurt, sour cream or crème fraiche.
ACCOMPANIMENTS plain yogurt, sour cream or crème fraiche 14 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
[ RECIPES ]
ROAST CHICKEN WITH CARAMELIZED LEMONS, CHERRY TOMATOES AND OLIVES
SHAVED VEGETABLE SALAD
INGREDIENTS
INGREDIENTS • Use any combination of these vegetables: • fennel • cucumbers • carrots (any color), peeled • celery • radishes (any type) • asparagus • beets (any color), peeled • artichoke heart, raw • zucchini • yellow or patty pan squash • cabbage • kohlrabi • turnips • parsnips • celeriac • rutabaga
• 1 tablespoon vegetable or canola oil • 4 chicken breasts, bone in and skin on • 1 teaspoon kosher salt • 1 lemon cut in half • 1/2 cup pitted black olives • 1/2 cup cherry tomatoes • handful of thyme (about 8-10 stems) PREPARATION 1. Preheat oven to 450°F. 2. Heat the oil in an oven-proof skillet over medium-high heat. 3. Pat the chicken breasts dry, make sure they are very dry, and sprinkle the top with the salt. 4. Place the chicken breasts, skin side down, in the heated oil and sear for 5 minutes, or until skin is crisp and golden brown. 5. Flip the chicken over. Add the lemon, olives, tomatoes and thyme to the skillet and transfer to the oven. 6. Roast for 25 minutes, or until chicken is cooked through.
Prep Time: 5 mins Cook Time: 0 mins
PREPARATION 1. Using a mandoline, thinly slice vegetables and place on a plate or platter. 2. Lightly drizzle with olive oil, a squeeze of lemon juice and sprinkle with kosher or maldon salt. APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15
[ RECIPES ]
Easter BRUNCH
HAM AND ASPARAGUS QUICHE (serves 6) Prep Time: 30 mins Cook Time: 50 mins INGREDIENTS • 4 large eggs • 3/4 cup half and half • 1 cup swiss cheese, shredded • 1 cup chopped asparagus • 1 cup chopped ham • 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt • 1 unbaked pie crust* (you can make your own pastry dough or buy prepared crust at the grocery) PIE CRUST: • 1 1/3 cups flour • 1/2 teaspoon kosher salt • 1/2 teaspoon sugar • 1/2 cup butter, cubed & cold • 2-3 tablespoons water PREPARATION 1. Preheat oven to 350° F. 2. In a bowl, whisk together the eggs and milk, then stir in the remaining ingredients. 3. Place the dough into a pie or tart pan and mold into the shape of the dish. Place the pie crust in the freezer for 10 minutes to chill. 4. Pour the filling into the well-chilled pie crust, and bake for 50 minutes or until golden and cooked through (the center shouldn’t jiggle). 5. Cool and serve. PIE CRUST: 1. Place the first 3 ingredients in a food processor and pulse. 2. Add cold butter and using on/off turns, process until coarse meals forms. 3. Add the water 1 tbsp at a time and process until moist clumps form, adding more water 1 tsp at a time if mixture is dry. 4. Form dough into a disk, wrap in parchment paper or plastic wrap and refrigerate 1 hour or until cold.
16 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
[ RECIPES ]
LEMON POUND CAKE MINI DOUGHNUTS (makes 18 doughnuts) Prep Time: 10 mins Cook Time: 20 mins
CARROT ORANGE GINGER SMOOTHIE Prep Time: 0 mins Cook Time: 0 mins INGREDIENTS • 1 peeled orange • 1 large carrot • 1 inch piece fresh ginger, peeled • 1 inch piece fresh turmeric, peeled • 1 dates • 2 tsp coconut oil • 1 crackbl black pepper • 2 teaspoons bee pollen • 1 tablespoon hemp seeds • 3/4 cup frozen mango • 1 cup milk (cow, almond, rice, etc) PREPARATION 1. Place all of the ingredients in a blender and puree until smooth. 2. Pour into a tall glass, pop in a straw and you’re ready!
INGREDIENTS • 1 cup granulated sugar • 1 stick (1/2 cup) unsalted butter, softened • 3 large eggs • 1/2 teaspoon vanilla extract • 1 1/2 cups all purpose flour • 1/2 teaspoon baking soda • 1/4 teaspoon kosher salt • 1/2 cup sour cream • 1/4 cup lemon juice • 1 teaspoon lemon zest • Lemon Glaze: • 1 cup powdered sugar • 1-2 teaspoons lemon juice, milk OR cream (to make the icing white) PREPARATION 1. Preheat oven to 325 degrees F. 2. Using a standing mixer or electric mixer, cream the butter and sugar until light and fluffy, about 5 minutes. 3. Add the eggs one at a time, making sure to incorporate each one. 4. In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, baking soda, salt and set aside. 5. Whisk the vanilla, sour cream, lemon juice and lemon zest in a separate bowl. 6. Add the flour and sour cream alternately to the egg mixture 1/2 at a time, until combined. 7. Spoon the batter into greased mini doughnut pans and bake for 18-20 minutes, until a toothpick inserted in the center comes out clean. 8. Mix together the glaze ingredients until smooth. 9. Allow the doughnuts to cool completely before glazing. APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 17
[ PARENTING ]
Parenting expert and “recovering yeller” Amy McCready is the Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and the author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time… The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling (Penguin, 2011.) Amy is a regular parenting contributor on The TODAY Show and has also appeared on Rachael Ray, CBS This Morning, CNN, Fox & Friends, MSNBC, Steve Harvey and elsewhere. In her most important role, she plays mom to two teenage boys. Follow Amy on Twitter @AmyMcCreadyPPS.
When Parents Disagree on Discipline: 8 Steps to Harmonious Parenting
by Amy McCready You vowed to be together for better or for worse, richer or poorer, in sickness and in health, but now you’re in a parenting standoff and can’t seem to agree on A.N.Y.T.H.I.N.G. You’re tired of yelling at your kids. Your partner is tired of their disrespect. You try to implement consequences. Your partner insists on sending them to time out. You dread mealtime. Your partner dreads bathtime. The tension is palpable and your kids notice. They know you’re the strict one and your partner is more lenient. They know who will cave under pressure and whose fuse will blow first.
18 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
[ PARENTING ] If there is one thing you can ALL agree on, it’s this:
fresh start for everyone involved, so build on your
Something has to change.
commonalities.
The standoff can’t continue.
Step 2: Explore the Underlying Reasons why you Disagree on Discipline
Your kids are too important. Your marriage is too
The greatest influence on our discipline methods is
important. Your family is way too important to let
undoubtedly our own parents. Whether you agree with
discipline differences wear everyone down.
your parents’ discipline-style or not, the choices you make today as a parent are due in part to how you were
So what should you do about it?
raised.
First, take a deep breath. Like a REALLY deep breath.
Without new knowledge and outside influences, parents are often predisposed to repeat the same patterns of
There is hope for you and your family, my friend. Lots of
behavior as their parents. Which is why you’ll hear moms
hope.
all over the world catch themselves in a moment of shock and mutter, “Oh no! I sound just like my mom!”
I’m here to suggest there are 8 tangible steps you and your partner can take TODAY to set a new foundation
For those with negative childhood discipline
in your home – a foundation that you can both feel
experiences, these parents often vow to not repeat the
comfortable standing on as you continue your parenting
same discouraging behaviors on their own children.
journey. Or conversely, (and more frequently) those who agree Step 1: Find (Any) Common Ground
with the discipline techniques used by their own parents
Start by identifying the aspects of parenting and
will repeat the same strategies and use the same
discipline in which you DO agree. You’ll be more
language they internalized as a child.
successful by identifying areas you agree on rather than focusing energy on the many areas where you disagree.
This scenario plays out when you hear a parent say, “My parents did _____ and I turned out ok!”
Look for the positives. Identify the parenting strategies
This justification for parenting choices is a slippery slope
your partner uses that you appreciate.
because you are taking your experience as a single person and applying it to an entire group of people.
Are they encouraging? Do they use a respectful tone?
For example, you might hear someone say, “I never wore
Do they play with the kids?
a seatbelt growing up, and I turned out fine.” Chances
Are they consistent?
are, if this were the case, the same person problem
Do they have reasonable expectations of your kids?
wasn’t in a messy car accident either.
Are they loving? This person’s one experience can’t be used to justify Even if all you can say with confidence is “I appreciate
banning seatbelts because inevitably, someone is going
how much you love our children,” that is a positive
to get into a car accident and need a seatbelt to save
foundation to build upon.
their life.
After all, your partner DOES love your kids. And even
In parenting circles, you’ll often hear someone say, “I was
though his/her parenting style may differ from yours, the
spanked all the time, but I turned out ok.” But the truth is
discipline approach comes from a place of LOVE.
we can’t let a single person’s experience justify spanking
This is not a time for blame or rehashing – this is a
ALL children who come from a plethora of different APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19
[ PARENTING ] backgrounds and who have different predispositions. Or
work. Imagine who they’ll be when they have children
when multiple scientific studies tell us it has a negative
of their own.
effect on children. What attributes do you hope your children will possess And sure, this negative effect might be something as
when they become adults?
simple as a quick-temper or mild anxiety, but it could
Compassion? Work ethic? Thoughtfulness? Respect?
also create emotional trauma that is much deeper than
Motivation? Resilience?
you ever intended. If you and your partner can agree on 3-4 words you If you find yourself using the “I turned out fine” argument
hope describe your children as adults, you’ll be able to
to justify your position, I’d encourage you to really dig
view parenting with a far-sighted lens.
deep and evaluate where these feelings are coming from.
Then, when tackling the day-to-day discipline dilemmas, ask yourselves the question:
To find common ground with your parenting partner it’s critical you each do a little soul-searching and discover
“What do we want our child to LEARN from this
WHY you disagree.
experience or discipline opportunity?”
What parts of your childhood influence your perception
It’s not about winning. It’s not about proving “you’re the
of appropriate parenting techniques?
boss and they WILL OBEY!”
Additionally, what parts of your childhood influence how
It’s about teaching your child to make the best possible
you feel about your partner’s parenting techniques?
choices in the future and learning from mistakes along
With a little self-reflection from you and your partner,
the way so they can grow into well-adjusted adults.
you’ll be well on your way to uncovering the surface of your deeply held parenting beliefs.
When you and your partner have a long-term goal of raising responsible, compassionate, respectful children,
Step 3: Start Small
you have a framework to make short-term decisions.
Begin with the non-negotiables for your family. The non-negotiables are typically the health and
For example:
safety rules (wearing bike helmets, driving before dark,
• If you want your child to be responsible, should you
etc.) and other areas your family values – education
drive his forgotten homework up to school for the third
(homework before playtime) or respect (name calling
time this week or not?
will not be tolerated).
• If you want your child to be compassionate, how should you respond when she admits to cheating on
Agree on the limits and expectations for the nonnegotiables and clearly communicate those to everyone. Be sure you both follow through each and every time on the non-negotiables so your kids see you are a unified front.
a test? • If you want your child to be respectful, how can you model that for him on a daily basis? If you and your partner can agree on some longterm parenting goals for your family, the short-term decisions will be easier to make.
Step 4: Think Long-Term Remember that parenting is a marathon, not a sprint –
Step 5: Select a Signal
and that requires we think long-term.
It’s okay if you disagree on some discipline issues – but the key is not to argue about them in front of your
Visualize your kids when they show up for their first day of 20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
children.
[ PARENTING ] undoubtedly share the same sentiments and behave Establish a non-verbal signal between you and your
accordingly.
partner that indicates “we clearly don’t agree on this one, let’s discuss it away from the kids.”
Step 7: Commit to Consistent Communication Set aside some time one night each week, after the kids
Since 95% of issues don’t need to be solved on the spot,
go to bed, to discuss your progress.
this gives both parents a chance to take a breather and decide on a course of action later.
Take note of the issues that have come up most frequently and agree on a correction method to use
Step 6: Avoid Good Cop, Bad Cop
from now on. Keep in mind that your goal is not to
In the same way you shouldn’t disagree on discipline
“win the battle” with your partner, but to find the most
in front of your children, it’s vitally important you don’t
constructive plan to help your children make good
pigeon-hole one another into good cop, bad cop roles. Well-meaning parents do this all the time when you hear them say things like, “Just wait until Dad gets home,” or “Mom is going to be very upset about this.” What message does a kid hear when mom says, “Just wait until Dad gets home?” A child hears that Daddy is the bad cop and is the only one capable of handling this situation. Or if Dad says “Mom is going to be very upset about this broken vase!” The child assumes Mom cares more about the vase than Dad does. Statements like these only reinforce a child’s feelings of
choices–thereby reducing future misbehaviors and training them for adulthood. Again, this is not a time for blaming or rehashing, but rather a time to come together and map out a plan for your current parenting struggles. Celebrate the little successes you’ve made and the changes you’ve seen in your children and each other. Step 8: Seek Support If after some focused effort, you and your spouse continue to disagree on parenting and discipline issues, consider taking a parenting class together or visiting with an objective, third party resource – such as a family therapist.
viewing one parent as the “loving one” and one parent as the “strict one”.
If you’re not sure whether an in-person parenting course or an online class is better for your family, you can learn
In reality, if you’re trying to present yourselves as a
more about the pros and cons of each type here.
unified front, you should both try to be consistent in your reactions. Each parent should feel equipped and
No matter what route you take, just remember, you and
empowered to handle any situation that arrives when
your partner are on the same team!
the kids are in their care without threatening the other parent’s involvement.
Final Thoughts While the task of solving discipline disagreements can
In a similar vein, it’s important not to undermine your
seem daunting, these 8 strategies will put you and your
partner’s parenting decisions in front of the children.
spouse on the path to success. With these guidelines,
If your children see you have a lack of faith in the
time and effort, it won’t be too long before the big
parenting decisions your partner made, they will
discipline debate is happily in the past. APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21
[ PARENTING ] Dr. Meeker is a pediatrician, who has practiced pediatric and adolescent medicine for 25 years. She is the author of six books including the best-selling Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: Ten Secrets Every Father Should Know; Boys Should Be Boys; Your Kids At Risk;, The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity; Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: The 30 Day Challenge and Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men, (Ballantine) April 2014. She is a popular speaker on pediatric health issues and child-parent relationships. Dr. Meeker is co-host and physicianin-residence of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk Radio. She is also Assistant Clinical Professor at Michigan State University College of Human Medicine and currently teaches medical students and physicians in residency training. She is board certified with the American Board of Pediatrics and is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Dr. Meeker serves on the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute. She has been married to her husband, Walter for 32 years. They have shared a medical practice for over 20 years. They have three grown daughters and a grown son. She lives in northern Michigan.
How to Cope with Stress During Covid-19 by Dr. Meg Meeker Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, life in our country looks very different, and every parent is wondering the same thing: Now what? COVID-19 has disrupted every family in America. Here’s how parents can cope. In a matter of two weeks, it seems life for American families has completely changed. Parents are working from home, and schools are closing, as well as restaurants, coffee shops, and playgrounds. Due to the COVID-19 pandemic, life in our country looks very different, and every parent is wondering the same thing: Now what? 22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
[ PARENTING ] This pandemic is unprecedented compared to recent
will suffer; your parenting will suffer. That’s OK. You are
viral outbreaks, such as SARS and Ebola. COVID-19 has
navigating new territory, there is no map, and we are all
now spread across the globe, and the U.S. is cracking
just trying to find our way through a new norm.
down, trying to flatten the curve with rules against
Now is not the time to be comparing yourself with your
gatherings of more than 10 people and the closures of
friends. Even if it looks like they’re holding it together on
schools and countless businesses in most states. While
social media, the reality is probably much different. Give
these precautions are good and necessary, they come
yourself extra grace during this time.
at a cost, especially for parents who are now trying to homeschool their children while working from home and only leaving the house to run necessary errands.
Keep conversations open. Your kids probably have a lot of questions right now. Even if you were able to shelter them from the news of
While the situation is changing daily, and we don’t know what the future will hold, there are some things you can do now to help ease your fears, anxieties, and cabin fever, even with your entire family in the house all day.
Embrace boredom. Even though your child might be homeschooling or taking classes online, their sports have been canceled, along with their plays, and music class and time with friends. With this lack of access to activities, they will get bored. But don’t fight it. Embrace it. Boredom is good for kids. It forces them to use their imaginations. It sharpens their sensibilities. And it teaches them how to be comfortable with themselves. Don’t try to fill every minute
the virus at first, now that school has been canceled or postponed, this is probably not possible, and that’s OK. Kids need to hear the truth, and they need to hear it from you. Don’t alarm them but tell them the necessary facts. Tell them that a virus can’t be killed with antibiotics, so the best we can do is avoid getting COVID-19 while the experts work on testing, treatments, and vaccines. Younger children might be especially fascinated to see a picture of what the virus actually looks like. That picture may make the virus much less scary for young children. You can also talk about how the virus spreads. This will help children take smart precautions to avoid it. The CDC website has all the updated advice.
of your child’s day. Let him figure out what it feels like to be bored and learn how to fill his time productively.
Lastly, I want to remind you that you are not alone. Most parents are in the same situation as you and your family
Don’t try to be supermom.
and are experiencing the same fears right now. In a
I focus on moms here because we mothers tend to put
strange way, this has united all of us, and that can be
a lot of expectations on ourselves throughout the year,
a beautiful thing. Reach out to your community. Stay
but during a quarantine, this is even more tempting. Do
connected, even if you can only do so virtually, and give
not expect to parent perfectly during this time. If you
yourself grace and time to navigate a new normal for
are a working mother, this will be a big adjustment. Work
yourself and your family. APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23
[ PARENTING ]
Distance Learning in this New Era: Advice from Stratford School by Stratford School With mandated school closures and shelter-in-place orders, parents have suddenly become their children’s teachers, guided from afar by their children’s educators. Many working parents, including educators, are now also both working at home and teaching their children at home. “It’s stretching and testing us—as educators, as parents, as families,” acknowledges Melissa Sidebotham, Stratford School Morgan Hill principal and mother of three. “But we’re coming together to make it work.” Sidebotham and three colleagues, all educators and working moms, offer these tips for successful distance learning. Create a learning-friendly environment. Set up a dedicated space with a desk or table and the necessary books, 24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
[ PARENTING ] writing materials, technology tools, and other learning
learning is that it requires an open line of communication
supplies nearby. Choose an area of your home where
between parents and educators. Talk with your child’s
your child can focus on assignments with minimal
teacher as often as needed. Share your concerns and
distractions and you can monitor them.
ideas, and solicit theirs. Ask for help, and ask how you can help.
Set a daily schedule. Create a list of activities for each day of the week,
Tend to your child’s emotional and social needs.
allotting time to both learning and life activities. Allow
Many children are confused, lonely, and anxious
sufficient time for your child to complete assignments as
because of the changes and restrictions in their lives.
well as to play and recharge. Schedule learning time for
As parents, we need to be mindful of our children’s
when you can be present and accessible.
emotional and social well-being. If your child seems out of sorts, spend some down time together, comfort them,
Make art and physical education part of daily learning.
and address their concerns or complaints. If your child
Creative expression and intentional movement not only
gets stumped or frustrated with an assignment, take
make children feel better emotionally and physically,
a breather, talk with their teacher, and try a different
they also enhance the brain’s ability to learn. Take this
approach later. Enable your child to interact remotely
opportunity to include art and physical education in
with friends, grandparents, and other important people
daily learning plans and to integrate art and movement
in their lives—with tele-chats, online gaming, social
into core academic learning.
media, or a phone call.
Incorporate fun and engaging teaching moments into
Guide your child through the learning process.
your daily life.
Provide a level of support appropriate to your child’s
Make a list of things that you and your child like to do,
age and needs. Older, more self-directed children may
and then brainstorm ways to weave learning into those
need you to check in, answer questions, and help them
activities. Sprinkle in some math or chemistry while
work through challenges. Younger and less self-directed
cooking together. Dig into botany or nutrition while
children may need more direction, supervision, and
planting a veggie garden. Explore history or architecture
assistance. Your encouragement and involvement will
while taking a drive through town.
also motivate and facilitate learning.
Tap into technology and other learning resources.
Be gentle with your child and with yourself. You really
Many schools are utilizing technology—such as Zoom
can’t do this wrong. What your children will remember
(live video-conferences), YouTube (prerecorded videos),
from this challenging time is not all the worksheets and
and Facetime (tele-chat)—in their distance learning
videos you made them do and watch. They’ll remember
content. You can also find distance-learning ideas,
the quiet moments of building a connection with one
games, materials, and programs online. For children who
another and learning together.
don’t have access to electronic devices and internet at home, educators are staying connected by phone and
About Stratford School.
mail. You can also ask your child’s teacher for resources
We believe high expectations yield extraordinary results.
to facilitate your child’s distance-learning.
Our advanced, innovative, intentionally balanced curriculum challenges students, accelerates their
Communicate with your child’s educators.
achievement, and prepares them for the future. Learn
One of the challenges and opportunities of distance
more at stratfordschools.com. APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25
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[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Summer Alameda County ALAMEDA Alameda School of Music 1307 High St. 510.769.0195 www.alamusic.org
Camp Bladium 800 West Tower Ave 510.814.4999 www.bladiumalameda.com/ youth-kids/kids-camps
BERKELEY Music Discovery Workshop 2005 Berryman St. 510.528.1725 www.sfems.org
St. John’s Camp Elmwood 2727 College Ave. 510.845.6830 www.stjohnsberkeley.org/ campelmwood
Sticky Art Lab 1682 University Ave. 510.981.1148 www.stickyartlab.com
City of Dublin 100 Civic Plaza 925.556.4500 www.ci.dublin.ca.us
Young Writers Camp UC Berkeley Campus 510.642.0971
Valley Christian School 7500 Inspiration Dr. 925.560.6270
www.bawpwritingcamp.org
www.ValleyChristianSchools.org
Green Stuff Summer Camp UC Berkeley Botanical Gardens 510.643.4832
Edge Gymnastics Training Center 6780 Sierra Court St. K 925.479.9904
www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu
www.edge-gymnastics.com
Lawrence Hall of Science UC Berkeley 510.642.5134
Kidz Kraftz Quail Creek Cir. 925.271.0015
www.lawrencehallofscience.org
www.kidzkraftz.com/camps
BERKELEY/ECHO LAKE
Tri-Valley YMCA 6693 Sierra Ln 925.263.4444
Berkeley Echo Lake Camp Lot #7 Echo Lakes Rd 530.659.7539 www.cityofberkeley.info/camps
CASTRO VALLEY Skye Valley Training Camp 10250 Crow Canyon Rd 925.858.8825 www.psi.lunariffic.com/~skyev0/
Sarah’s Science 21525 Knoll Way 510.581.3739 www.sarahscience.com
Camp Kee Tov 1301 Oxford St. 510.842.2372 www.campkeetov.org
Bee Best Learning 20394 San Miguel Ave. 510.728.2110 www.beebestlearning.com
Habitot 2065 Kittredge St. 510.647.1111 ext. 14 www.habitot.org/museum/ activities_camps.html
Monkey Business Camp 2880A Sacramento St. 510.540.6025
www.trivalley.ymcaeastbay.org
Extended Day Child Care 8435 Davona Dr. 925.829.4043 & 7997 Vomac Rd. 925.551.8170 7243 Tamarack Dr. 925.833.0127 & 5301 Hibernia Dr. 925.803.4154 & 3300 Antone Way 925.826.5538 www.extendeddaychildcare.com
Quarry Lane School 6363 Tassajara Rd. 925.829.8000
DUBLIN
www.quarrylane.org
East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 4651 Gleason Dr. 925.479.9670
FREMONT
www.eastbayspca.org/camp
www.monkeybusinesscamp.com
28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
Learning Bee Summer Camp 39977 Mission Blvd. 510.226.8408 www.learningbeeusa.com
Ohlone for Kids 43600 Mission Blvd. 510.659.6000 www.ohlone.edu/org/ ohloneforkids
HAYWARD Hayward Area Recreation Park District (H.A.R.D.) Day Camps 510.881.6700 www.haywardrec.org
LIVERMORE Horizons East Equestrian Center 5111 Doolan Rd. 925.960.9696 www.showstables.com
Roy’s Magic Camp 2466 8th St. 925.455.0600 www.magiccamp.org
Camp Arroyo Taylor Family Foundation 5535 Arroyo Rd. 925.371.8401 www.ebparks.org/activities/ daycamps/parks_camp_arroyo
Saddle to Ride Topline Training, Inc. 4180 Greenville Rd. 925.858.3933 www.saddle2ride.com
Xtreme Force Dance Company 847 Rincon Ave. 925.455.6054 www.xtremeforcedanceco.com
Double Diamond Sports Academy 2272 Research Dr. 925.830.9765 www. doublediamondsportsacademy. com
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Camps Valley Montessori 1273 N. Livermore Ave. 925.455.8021
MOCHA Summer Camp 1625 Clay St. 510.465.8770
Contra Costa County
www.valleymontessorischool.com
www.mocha.org
OAKLAND
PLEASANTON
Lakeshore Children’s Center 3534 Lakeshore Ave. 510.893.4048
Gingerbread Preschool 4333 Black Ave. 925.931.3430
City of Antioch Parks and Recreation 213 “F” St 925.776.7070
www.lakeshorechildrenscenter.org
www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us/services/ recreation/gb/gbhome.html
Urban Adventure Camp 5701 Cabot Dr. 510.339.0676 www.urbanadventurecamps.com
Extended Day Child Care 5199 Black Ave. 925.846.5519 www.extendeddaychildcare.com
East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 8323 Baldwin St. 510.569.0702 www.eastbayspca.org/camp
Quarry Lane School - East 3750 Boulder St. 925.846.9400 www.quarrylane.org
California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 4660 Harbord Dr. 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html
Oakland Summer ZooCamp 9777 Golf Links Rd. 510.632.9525 www.oaklandzoo.org
Lake Merritt Boating Center Youth Boating Camps 568 Bellevue Ave. 510.238.2196 www.sailoakland.com
Raskob Learning Institute 3520 Mountain Blvd. 510.436.1275 www.raskobinstitute.org
Kids N’ Dance 3840 Macarthur Blvd. 510.531.4400 www.kidsndance.com
Quarry Lane School - West 4444B Black Ave. 925.462.6300 www.quarrylane.org
ANTIOCH
City of Danville Camps 420 Front St. 925.314.3400 www.danville.ca.gov/Recreation/ Camps
www.ci.antioch.ca.us/Recreation
Four Stars Gymnastics Academy 1799 Vineyard Dr. 925.778.8650
Vision Tech Camps 117 Town & Country Dr. St. B 925.699.9602 www.visiontechcamps.com
Athenian Summer Programs at Athenian School 2100 Mt. Diablo Scenic Blvd 925.837.5375
www.fourstarsgym.com
CONCORD City of Concord Parks and Recreation 925.671.3404
www.athenian.org
www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps
Camp Concord in South Lake Tahoe 1000 Mt. Tallac Trailhead Rd South Lake Tahoe 530.541.1203
Yang Fan Academy 4160 Hacienda Dr. St. 100 925.699.4664
www.ci.concord.ca.us/recreation/ camp
www.yfacademy.org
Backyard Explorers Corner of Babel Ln & Cowell Rd. 925.671.3118
City of Pleasanton Summer Programs 200 Old Bernal Ave. 925.931.3436
DANVILLE
Color Bundles 301 Hartz Ave. #104 925.727.3137 www.colorbundles.com
Camp Brainy Bunch 741 Brookside Dr. 510.548.4800 www.campbrainybunch.com
Quest Therapeutic Camps Charlotte Wood Middle School 600 El Captain Dr. 925.743.2900 www.questcamps.com
www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps/backyardexp.htm
www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us
Expressions Dance & Art 3015 Hopyard Rd. Ste. I 925.200.9908 www.expressions-dance-arts.com/
Young Ivy Academy 5460 Sunol Blvd (#3) 925.548.0188 www.youngivyacademy.com
Inspire Music Academy 2340 Santa Rita Rd. Ste. 7 925.461.3266 www.inspiremusicacademy.com
APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Summer LAFAYETTE California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 1000 Upper Happy Valley Rd 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html
Kids N’ Dance 3369 Mt. Diablo 925.284.7388 www.kidsndance.com
Sienna Ranch 3232 Deer Hill Rd. 925.283.6311 www.siennaranch.net
Sherman Swim School 1075 Carol Ln. 925.283.2100 www.shermanswim.com
www.frenchforfun.com
Lafayette Tennis Club 3125 Camino Diablo 925.937.2582 www.lafayettetennis.com
Husky House for Kids 3855 Happy Valley Rd. 925.283.7100 www.huskyhouseforkids.org/ summer-camp-programs
Lafayette Community Center Camps 500 Saint Mary’s Rd. 925.284.2232 www.lafayetterec.org
Roughing It Day Camp 1010 Oak Hill Rd. 925.283.3795 www.roughingit.com
BandWorks Summer Camp 28 Orinda Way 925.254.2445 www.bandworks.com/summer_ orinda.php
Orinda Academy 19 Altarinda Rd. 925.478.4504
Lindsay Wildlife Museum Summer Science Camp 1931 First Ave. 925.935.1978 www.wildlife-museum.org
Camp ARF for Kids 2890 Mitchell Dr. 925.256.1273 www.youth.arf.net
Merriewood Children’s Center 561 Merriewood Dr. 925.284.2121
www.orindaacademy.org
Camp Doodle 66 St. Stephens Dr.
City of Walnut Creek Summer Camps 1666 North Main St. 925.943.5899
www.merriewood.org
www.campdoodles.com
www.walnut-creek.org
MARTINEZ
PLEASANT HILL
John Muir Mountain Day Camp John Muir National Historic Site 925.680.8807
City of Pleasant Hill Camps 147 Gregory Ln 925.682.0896
Castle Rock Arabians 1350 Castle Rock Rd. 925.933.3701
www.johnmuirassociation.org/ muircamp/index.php
French For Fun 3381 Mt. Diablo Blvd 925.283.9822
ORINDA
Rancho Saguaro 1050 Pereira Rd. 925.788.5200 www.ranchosaguaro.com
MORAGA Gaels Summer Camp 1928 St Mary’s Rd. 925.631.4FUN www.smcgaels.com
Camp Saklan 1678 School St. 925.376.7900 www.saklan.org/about-us/campsaklan
OAKLEY City of Oakley Parks and Recreation 3231 Main St. 925.625.7044 www.ci.oakley.ca.us
Diamond Hills Sports Club 1510 Neroly Rd. 925.420.4575 www.sparetimeclubs.com
30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
www.castlerockarabians.com
www.pleasanthillrec.com
PITTSBURG City of Pittsburg Parks and Recreation 300 Presido Ln. 925.252.4842 www.ci.pittsburg.ca.us
SAN RAMON City of San Ramon Camps 2226 Camino Ramon 925.973.2500 www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us
School of Rock San Ramon 460 Montgomery Street 925.415.3340 510.207.9281 bit.ly/SORsanramoncamps
Adventure Day Camp Dorris-Eaton School One Annabel Lane 925.937.6500 www.adventuredaycamp.com
WALNUT CREEK Adventure Day Camp Seven Hills School 975 North San Carlos Dr. 925.937.6500 www.adventuredaycamp.com
Multiple Locations The Growing Room Academy Various locations around the Bay Offers: 3,4 and 5 Day Camps 925.837.4392 www.thegrowingroom.org
Camp Rocks: Girl Scouts of Northern California Offered at 5 locations: San Rafael (Camp Bothin), Santa Cruz (Skylark Ranch), San Jose (Camp Metro Day Camp), North Lake Tahoe (Deer Lake), and the Sierra Nevada Mountains (Sugar Pine) 800.447.4475 ext. 2091 www.camprocks.org
Mad Science Camp Offered at several local Recreation sites and Community Centers 925.687.1900 www.mtdiablo.madscience.org
[ SUMMER CAMP ]
Camps Steve and Kate’s Camp Danville, Dublin, Fremont, Oakland, Walnut Creek and Berkeley 415.389.5437 www.steveandkatescamp.com
Camp Galileo Alameda, Alamo, Berkeley, San Ramon, Walnut Creek, Fremont, Oakland, Lafayette and Orinda 510.595.7293
Lango Language Summer Camps Serving Alamo, Blackhawk, Brentwood, Briones, Canyon, Clayton, Concord, Danville, Martinez, Moraga, Orinda, Pacheco, Pittsburg, Pleasant Hill, San Ramon, Walnut Creek and surrounding regions 888.445.2646 www.langokids.com/parent/kidslanguage-summer-camps
Out of Area Golden Arrow Camps 644 Pollasky Avenue, Ste. 100 Clovis, 93612 800.554.CAMP www.goldarrowcamp.com
Coppercreek Camp 1887 Williams Valley Rd. Greenville, 95947 800.350.0006 www.coppercreek.com
www.galileo-learning.com
KinderCare Walnut Creek, Concord, Danville, Martinez and Clayton 888.523.6765 www.kindercare.com/ summercamp
Viva el Espanol! Lafayette, Piedmont, Pleasanton & San Anselmo 925.962.9177 www.vivaelespanol.org/ summerprograms.php
Club Sport Fremont, San Ramon, Pleasanton and Walnut Creek 925.938.8700 www.clubsports.com
Camp Edmo Alameda, Fremont, and Oakland 415.282.6673 www.campedmo.org
Kids’ Carpentry Berkeley, Lafayette, Alameda, Oakland, Alamo & Walnut Creek 510.524.9232
Stratford School Summer Sports Camp & Enrichment Danville, Fremont, Los Gatos, Morgan Hill and Pleasanton 925.737.0001
www.kidscarpentry.com
www.stratfordschools.com
www.techknowhowkids.com
Sky hawk’s Sports Camp Various locations around the Bay Area 800.804.3509
iD Tech Camp Moraga, Concord, Livermore, Berkeley and other Bay Area locations www.idtech.com
www.skyhawks.com
TechKnowHow Kids Dublin, Berkeley, Fremont, Livermore, Oakland & Pleasanton 650.638.0500
Camp Unalayee 3921 East Bayshore Rd. Palo Alto 650.969.6313 www.unalayee-summer-camp.com
CYO Summer Camp 2136 Bohemian Hwy Occidental, 95465 707.874.0200
SF Zoo Camp Sloat Blvd. & the Great Highway San Francisco 415.753.7080 www.sfzoo.org Almaden Equestrian Center 20100 Almaden Rd. San Jose 408.927.0232 www.almadenequestriancenter.net
Silver Creek Sportsplex 800 Embedded Way San Jose 408.224.8774 www.gotoplex.com
College For Kids 1700 W. Hillsdale Blvd. San Mateo 650.574.6149 www.collegeforkids-smccd.com
www.camp.cccyo.org
Mountain Camp Woodside 302 Portola Rd. Portola Valley 650.576.2267 www.mountaincampwoodside.com
School of Rock Summer Camp 711 South B St. San Mateo, San Jose & Palo Alto 650.347.3474 www.schoolofrock.com
Camp Tawonga 131 Steuart Ste. 460 San Francisco 415.543.2267 www.tawonga.org
Kennolyn Camps 8205 Glen Haven Rd. Soquel 831.479.6714 www.kennolyncamps.com
888.709.8324
APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31
OUR CAMP CONFORMS TO KIDS. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.
“GO WITH THE FLOW” IS OUR MIDDLE NAME. JUST KIDDING, IT’S “AND.”
Instead of a rigid structure, we give our campers choice. Instead of teaching kids the typical way, we give them tools and gentle guidance to help them become autodidacts, people who teach themselves. Kids choose from: stop motion animation, coding, sports in a custom stadium, bread-making, waterslides and much more.
Our policy is as flexible as you need it to be. You can buy a whole summer membership or you can purchase as many day passes as you want. Use the passes whenever. Didn’t use them? No sweat. We’ll give you a full refund for unused passes. And best of all, you don’t even have to tell us when you’re coming. Ta-da. Camp just got easier.
CODING STUDIO
PRE-K THROUGH 7TH
32 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | APRIL 2020
40+ LOCATIONS
STEVEANDKATE.COM
®
Preschool
Education is a Lifelong Commitment
®
Discover Quarry Lane
NOW ENROLLING Join our Open House every Wednesday! www.QuarryLane.org/Preschool
Toddler, Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten Academic-Based Curriculum Passionate, Experienced Educators
PLEASANTON WEST CAMPUS Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten 4444B Black Ave., Pleasanton, CA
925.462.6300
Full and Half Day Schedules Computer, Spanish, Music, P.E., and Library Two Preschool Campuses in Pleasanton
PLEASANTON EAST CAMPUS Toddler through Pre-Kindergarten 3750 Boulder St., Pleasanton, CA
925.846.9400
APRIL 2020 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 33 CA Licenses: 013411303, 013411304, 013411305, 013417681