Active Family Magazine - May 2018

MAY 2018

PRIVATE SCHOOL GUIDE

10 TIPS to Make This THE BEST SUMMER

Ever with Your Family

Luxury Pet Product Guide

Volume 5 / Issue 52 [ PARENTING ] 10 Tips to Make This the Best Summer Ever with Your Family

6 50 Ways To Be A Mother (on Mother’s Day)

Are You A ‘Good’ Influence on Your Kids?

[ HEALTH ]

34

22

The Truth About Skin Cancer

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ]

[ EVENTS ]

Kid Time and Couple Time

May Calendar

16

14 How to be Imperfect

20

24

[ TRAVEL ]

[ EDUCATION ]

Hotel Yountville

Private Schools & Open Houses

10

How Are You Really?

26 6 Pieces of Bad Advice We Give Our Kids – And What To Do Instead

30

28

Twenty-Four Hour Staycation-San Francisco

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

36

42

[ PRODUCTS WE LOVE ]

Summer Camp Spotlight

Pet Product Guide

47

18

6 2 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

Summer Camp Guide

18

10

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Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area

Publisher/Editor

Marketing Interns

Contributing Authors

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Candace Warren Megan Shackley

Dr. Laura Markham Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Emma Seppälä Ph.D. Christie Organ Roma Khetarpal Jamee Tenzer

Advertising Sales Director Kathy Brillheart kbrillheart@activefamilymag.com

Travel Editor Elizabeth Kang ekang@activefamilymag.com

Fashion Editor Rachel Fawkes www.fawkeshunter.com

Design/Production Teresa Agnew Craft

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709 Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note Yay for May! Hard to believe the end of the school year is upon us. Summer is just around the corner, how will you make it the best yet? If you are looking to keep the kids busy, then head to our Summer Camp section on page 40 where you will find plenty of ideas for keeping the kids stimulated and engaged. Dr. Laura Markham offers amazing advice on page 6 with ‘10 Tips to Make This the Best Summer Ever with Your Family’. Planning a family vacation? Look to our travel section on our website at www.activefamilymag.com for lots of inspiration!

Be sure to pick up our upcoming issues as we will be providing plenty of summer fun!

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 5

[ PARENTING ]

10 Tips to Make This the Best Summer Ever with Your Family

by Dr. Laura Markham "Summer afternoon...Summer afternoon... the two most beautiful words in the English language." –Henry James Summer lives in our imaginations throughout the year because it nourishes our Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone.

You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.

6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

souls. The warmth.... the fun...the sheer deliciousness. But mostly, the luxury of time, unbounded by school. Time to explore, to make new friends, to lie on your back and watch the clouds billow. The vivid aliveness and freedom of a child's summers can change her forever.

Does this sound like the summer your child is having? Or is he glued to an electronic screen? Or maybe she just has to get up early for camp, so you can get to work. Or maybe he's gotten so used to constant stimulation that he's complaining he's bored.

You CAN reclaim summer for your family. In fact, you can make this the best summer ever with your kids. It doesn't take travel or a lot of money. And you

[ PARENTING ] can do it even if you're working and your kids are in day

stressed, and they'll fight with each other and drive

camp. All it takes is your time.

you crazy. Even if you have to go to work, can you find a way to dial down your stress for the summer? And if

That's right, your time. I know that sounds like the one

you're lucky enough to be home with the kids, don't you

thing you don't have enough of. If you're anything like

deserve a delicious summer as much as your children

most parents, you have a long list of things that need to

do? Your positive attitude will create a relaxed, happy

get done and you feel a little (or a lot!) overwhelmed.

mood in your house.

But it's summer. Your kids won't be kids forever. This is the stuff their childhood memories are made of. As George

4. Help your kids develop a healthy relationship with time

R.R. Martin says, “Summer will end soon enough, and

...one that includes the important life skill of being

childhood as well.�

comfortable with their own company, without technology. Time is, after all, what life is made of. To help

In addition to those lovely experiences that define

kids learn to reclaim their time, set up a Boredom Buster

summer, children also need lazy summer afternoons with

Jar.

not much happening. So, finding that sweet spot of "just enough" activity without over-scheduling is the goal.

5. Encourage your child to try something new this

Why not decide now to make the most of this opportunity

summer.

to connect with your kids? Here are ten simple tips to

There's no time like the summer to dabble, experiment,

make this summer your best summer ever with your

and play with creativity. Maybe she wants to try painting,

family.

or self-defense classes, or horseback riding. Maybe he wants to try writing a short story or learn how to

1. Set aside some time every day to have fun with your

throw a frisbee well. New activities encourage brain

child.

development and build your child's focus, frustration

Whether it's running through the sprinkler together on

management, and impulse control.

a hot afternoon or counting the stars on a blanket in the backyard before bedtime, do at least one thing

6. Strictly limit technology to certain times of the day.

each day to connect and have fun. Remember, what

When kids are bored and it's hot outside, screen time has

matters is always how it FEELS, not how it LOOKS. Your

a way of swallowing up all of their time. It may be a good

child doesn't need a Martha Stewart activity; just a loving

babysitter, but we all know that's not what kids need. The

connection with you.

more you limit screen time, the better kids get at finding creative things to do with their time -- and the less they

2. Find the "sweet spot" for structure.

bug you to watch TV or play computer games.

Research shows that kids get stressed during the school year from academics, homework, the social scene, and

7. Institute daily reading time and regular library visits.

all the activities. They really need time to chill and relax.

Books open the imagination, make time disappear, and

But they also need structure, meaning they need their

give kids a wholesome alternative to screens. (Reading

day and week to have a shape, so they know what to

is also very highly correlated with school achievement.)

expect. For instance, every morning after we play, we

Reading to your child develops a love of stories and

do errands or pick up the house together for an hour,

books, which is what starts them wanting to read on their

and after lunch we have reading time together and then

own.

quiet time in our rooms. Every afternoon we run through the sprinkler or go to the pool.

8. Be aware that transitions take time.

If your child is starting a summer program or camp with

3. Commit to de-stressing and just enjoying your life this

new counselors and kids, you can expect some anxiety.

summer.

Take time to play with your child in advance, because

Kids pick up our attitudes. If you're stressed, they'll be

those belly laughs reduce anxiety and will help them MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 7

[ PARENTING ] feel less nervous that first day or so. And if your child is

recipes online.)

just home enjoying some down time, remember that

• Buy a mess of crabs and cook them up with some corn

sometimes when kids are released from structure, all

on the cob. Let the kids stay up late playing tag as it

those stressed feelings they've been carrying during the

gets dark.

school year bubble up and they suddenly get a bit highstrung. So be aware that you might have a few grumpy

You get the idea. Encourage your family to come up with

days, plan on a few meltdowns, and make sure to build

their ideal scenarios and make a few of them happen.

as much roughhousing and laughter as possible into your

Be sure to toast the family member who chose the

days.

activity, and take lots of pictures.

9. Plan some fantastic family memories, even if you don’t

10. The last week of the summer, print out all your

have the money or time to head off on vacation.

summer photos and make a Summer album.

Don’t wait. The key is to get out a calendar and schedule

Have a little family celebration on Labor Day weekend

the things you really want to do.

where you look at the album together and talk about everybody's favorite parts of the summer. Remind each

Start at dinner tonight by asking everyone what they've

other of the things that seemed like disasters at the time

loved most about this summer so far. Then ask each

but are now funny (every family has some of those!) If

person to pick one thing for the whole family to do that

you do this every summer, you’ll create precious family

will make their summer complete. Set parameters before

heirlooms, not to mention a family tradition that will have

you start. For instance, no hotel stays, and the total cost

your kids bragging about how fantastic summer was

of each activity must be under $40 (or whatever your

in their families….and begging to look at the Summer

budget is.) Here’s a list of ideas to get you started:

albums with you every Labor Day, even once they’re

• Buy a badminton set and have a weekend tournament

teenagers.

for all your friends and family, complete with a potluck barbecue.

• Set up a water festival in your backyard that includes dunking, running through sprinklers, a water balloon toss game, a slip ‘n slide, and a water balloon fight. Let your kids invite all their friends, and invite a few of yours, too. Celebrate the end of the day with watermelon.

• Rent bikes and follow a local bike path you’ve never been on. Stop for ice cream cones.

• Go camping. Go hiking, catch fireflies, roast

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marshmallows, sing songs, snuggle on a blanket and watch the fire together.

• Go tubing. Or canoeing. Or rafting. Be sure to cool off by getting wet.

• Have a dinner picnic and watch the sunset (bring the bug repellent).

• Go to the beach and spend the day body surfing.

When you get cold, collect shells and use them to decorate your sand castle.

• Go to bed really early some night when you’re tired, and get up for the sunrise. Bring donuts and coffee.

• Make homemade ice cream. (You don't need an ice cream maker, just rock salt and plastic bags; there are 8 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

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MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9

[ TRAVEL ]

Hotel Yountville WEEKEND GUIDE TO YOUNTVILLE

by Elizabeth Kang

Home to world-renowned restaurants such as The French Laundry, Bouchon and Ad Hoc, Yountville is for foodies as much as it is for wine lovers. There are, of course, some really great wineries and tasting rooms scattered throughout town, but the amount of high-quality restaurants within the 1.5 mile area is truly staggering.

While a weekend in Yountville is plenty of time to see and do everything this charming little town has to offer, you’ll be wishing there were more than three meals in a day to fit in all the delicious dining options to be had!

10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

[ TRAVEL ]

– STAY – When you book your accommodations at Hotel Yountville Resort & Spa, you’ll be able to park your car once and walk to your destinations for the rest of your trip. The charming and recently expanded resort is the perfect home base — a short walk to restaurants, tasting rooms and shopping.

Hotel Yountville features gorgeously appointed rooms equipped with fireplaces, private patios, and a charming and bright rustic chic farmhouse interior. The luxurious spa, heated year-round pool, state-of-theart fitness center, comfy poolside cabanas, quaint outdoor lounge areas and onsite gourmet restaurant (serving breakfast & lunch) all add up to ensure a relaxing, high-class stay. The stunning Heritage Oak trees preserved on property, along with the hypnotic sounds of frogs in nearby Hopper Creek, make for a stay that’s as serene and picturesque as it is incredibly convenient and accommodating.

(Guests of the resort also benefit from the property’s ever-expanding list of partnerships with nearby wineries, which means waived or heavily discounted tasting fees.)

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11

[ TRAVEL ]

– EAT – DATE NIGHT Located in the stunning five-star Bardessono Hotel, Lucy Restaurant & Bar is small & intimate — perfect for date night — boasting a farm-to-table new American menu and stellar service. Don't miss the innovative creme brûlée trio (mocha, root beer & s’mores) for dessert.

Thomas Keller’s Ad Hoc has been a mainstay in town for decades, and their fried chicken is the stuff of legend. The prix fix menu changes daily and reservations are a must.

LUNCH R+D Kitchen is quickly becoming a new favorite in town, serving mouthwatering burgers and delicate, handcrafted sushi, and yes, it does get both cuisines right. The casual but contemporary and airy feel makes for a perfect, breezy lunch.

Redd Wood is the perfect mix of casual and contemporary, serving amazing scratch pastas and delicious wood-fired pizzas, along with craft cocktails in a modern, comfortable setting. The Fritto Misto appetizer is delicate, light and crispy, and you can’t go wrong with the decadent and creamy Cacio e Pepe, or any one of their crisp and chewy thin crust pizzas.

BREAKFAST If you're looking for a breakfast beyond your typical eggs, bacon and hash browns, be sure to look up Southside Cafe for a lighter, more innovative breakfast and lunch. Think avocado toast, house-made granola, and a variety of seasonal salads and sandwiches.

12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

[ TRAVEL ]

– SHOP – No trip to Yountville is complete without a stop to the renowned Bouchon Bakery. Get there early to avoid an inevitable line on the weekends, and pick up a few of their famous giant macarons and croissants for the drive home.

If you're a chocolate lover, you’ll appreciate the gorgeous, innovative chocolates at Kollar Chocolates (located in the V Marketplace.) Their truffles take chocolate to the next level with their unique, award-winning flavors such as Fennel Pollen, Grande Marnier, Chai, Lavender and Earl Grey.

Maisonry Napa Valley is part art gallery, part furniture store, and part winery. Taste delicious wines while browsing some of the most unique art and sculptures we’ve ever seen!

There are gorgeous furniture and home decor pieces for sale, as well.

Nothing says “I’m on vacation” like a beautifully crafted Montecristi Panama Hat. The store features a wide variety of beautiful Ecuadorian-made Panama Hats, and the friendly owners will go out of their way to ensure a perfect fit.

– SIP – Hill Family Estate has a tasting room only

delicious Cabernets and red blends, as well as

a minute’s walk from Hotel Yountville, and

a standout Petite Syrah in a casual, airy tasting

features a casual and welcoming atmosphere

room decorated with interesting paintings.

offering tastings of delicious, and somewhat pricey wines. Pick up a bottle for a special

Stop by hope & grace to try their terrific

dinner and enjoy hearing about the Hill family’s

Malbec, and perhaps indulge in a tasty cheese

rich history in the wine making business.

and wine pairing while you're there. The tasting room is very dog-friendly, so expect to see a

The unique house-like feel of the tasting room

few pooches lying waiting for a friendly pat

of Silver Trident Winery makes it a favorite in the

while you taste.

area. The room is decorated in Ralph Lauren decor, much of which is for sale. The food and

Domaine Chandon is probably the most

wine pairing is top-notch and worth every cent.

well-known wineries in the Napa valley, let alone Yountville. It’s a good first stop, as it gets

Jessup Cellars is famous for its reds, so if you

crowded and drinking bubbly before lunch is,

prefer red wines, Jessup is a must-stop. Sample

of course, perfectly acceptable.

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13

[ PARENTING ]

Jamee Tenzer is an Executive Coach, Trainer and Mentor. For the past 15 years she has been privileged to coach breadwinner moms and executives and to work internationally as a coach mentor and trainer. She has worked with leaders in many industries including; entertainment, non-profit and technology. In addition to serving as a Supervisor, Mentor and Trainer for the International Coach Academy from 2006 to 2015, she is also a trained mediator and the co-creator of three ICF Accredited courses for coaches; Deeper Conversations Coaching, Mentor Coach Certification and Real Coaching Sessions Unplugged. Jamee is a member of the International Coach Federation, Producers Guild of America and Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. She holds a CPC from the International Coach Academy, a PCC from the International Coach Federation and a BCC from the Center for Credentialing and Education. She is a committed im-perfectionist - her husband and three children can attest to this!

14 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

50 Ways To Be A Mother… (on Mother’s Day)

by Jamee Tenzer Whatever you do on Mother’s Day, be sure you RELAX, PLAY, LIVE LARGE, GET IT DONE, GO WILD, GIVE BACK and ENJOY! Here are some ideas: RELAX… 1. Redeem all the handmade coupons you have received over the years from your children, for backrubs, foot massages and “doing laundry.”

2. Open a good bottle of Champagne and have a “Momosa.”

3. Stay in your pajamas all day.

4. Take a stroll.

5. Just sit down and do nothing.

6. Soak your feet in Epson salts.

7. Take a nap!

[ PARENTING ] PLAY…

8. Check the “nap” off your list of to-do’s by taking one.

1. Invite the whole family to do everything left handed if they are right handed (and vice versa) 2. Build something out of Legos 3. Have an ice cream eating contest.

GO WILD… 1. Get in the car with your family and start driving.. find someplace you have never been before.

4. Make silly videos.

2. Stand on your head.

5. Have an all-day game tournament (Monopoly, Risk,

3. Go on an adventure while your husband stays home

Go Fish?)

6. Play hop-scotch, jump rope or catch.

7. Make a cake creation (Resource: Cupcakes, cookies & pie, oh, my! By Karen Tack and Alan Richardson) 8. Make Chocolate strawberries (followed by eating them, of course) 9. Make believe you are sleeping and take a nap.

with the children 4. Don’t go to brunch unless you love going to brunch, in which case; don’t miss the opportunity to go to brunch.

5. Buy expensive shoes.

6. Go hang gliding (too wild? How about snorkeling.?)

7. Challenge yourself physically by taking a hike, bike ride or run.

8. Take a 4 hour nap.

LIVE LARGE… 1. Skip it – whatever it is you normally do on Sundays, skip it.

GIVE BACK… 1. Call your mother.

2. Splurge on yourself.

2. Write cards and send them to soldiers overseas.

3. Let go of worry for the entire day.

3. Fill up one bag of clothes you don’t need anymore and

4. Request to be referred to as “Madam” or “Your Royal Highness,” all day.

5. Make a list of your Big Dreams for the coming year.

6. Make a list of actions steps you can take to make those dreams happen.

7. Take a BIG nap.

donate them. Ask your children to do the same.

4. Tell each child what you appreciate about them (after all, they made you the mother you are today) 5. Take the family shopping for canned an nonperishable goods and deliver them to a food bank.

6. Adopt an animal 7. Make sure your “significant other” gets to take a nap.

GET IT DONE… 1. Do 50 Sit-ups.

ENJOY…

2. While you’re at it, do 50 push-ups too.

1. Read a book to your children, that your mother used to

3. Organize one drawer or shelf.

4. Create a new tradition.

5. Throw a dinner party.

6. Learn the difference between the Samba, Mambo and Tango 7. Join the gym (you’ve been meaning to!)

read to you.

2. Enjoy being home alone while your husband takes your children out for an adventure.

3. Snuggle with your family and watch movies in bed all day.

4. Catch some zzzzz’s MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ]

DR. MARGARET PAUL is a bestselling author, popular Huffington Post writer and cocreator of the powerful Inner BondingÂŽ self-healing process, and the related SelfQuestÂŽ self-healing software program - recommended by actress Lindsay Wagner and singer Alanis Morissette. She has appeared on numerous radio and television shows (including Oprah).

Her book titles include "Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By You" (and subsequent titles "Do I Have to Give Up Me to Be Loved By God," and "...By My Kids"), "Healing Your Aloneness" and "Inner Bonding." Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology, is a relationship expert, public speaker, consultant and artist. She has successfully worked with thousands and taught classes and seminars for over 47 years.

16 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

Kid Time and Couple Time

by Margaret Paul, Ph.D. Are you having trouble finding time to be with your children and to be with each other? Discover how important this balance is, and what may be the underlying issue in the way of couple time.

A reader emailed me the following question: Many dads and moms, especially those that work full-time, are torn by guilt when it comes to time allocation. They have been away from the kids so long during the working week that the weekends MUST be spent with them. Result: There is simply NO couple-time. Any suggestions?

One thing that is often not realized by parents is that a happy and harmonious marriage is one of the greatest gifts they can give to their children. Most children will gladly spend less time with their parents when they know that

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ] some of the time being spent away from them is about

for our relationship. If it is very important to us, we will find

creating and maintaining a loving relationship between

the time for it. So, if parents are not finding the time to be

their parents.

together, they might want to examine their priorities and explore why time together might not be important.

Parents who work full time do need to be sure to spend some quality time with their children each evening. I was

Often time together is important to one partner and

in this position when I was raising my three children. My

not to the other. When this is the case, partners need to

husband and I would both spend an hour each evening,

explore what is happening between them that is leading

sometimes with one child and sometimes with two. On

to the one partner not making time together a high

the weekends, we set aside some time alone with each

priority. Some of the issues you may want to examine are:

other and alone with ourselves, which our children learned to respect. Then we spent the rest of the time in

•

Is one partner fearful of being pulled on for sex?

family time. Parents need to understand that they are the

•

Is one partner fearful of being pulled on to fill up the other partner emotionally?

role models for their children, and if they are not taking responsibility for their own needs, their children will not

•

various ways when they are alone together?

learn to take responsibility for their own needs. What we role model regarding personal responsibility for our own

Does one partner feel fearful of being criticized in

•

Is one partner emotionally unavailable and the other

happiness and wellbeing is as important as spending

partner feels lonely with him or her when they are

time with our children. Both are equally important in

alone together?

raising healthy children.

•

Has one partner become so preoccupied with being successful or making money that they no longer have anything to talk about?

When parents do not find the time to be with each other or to be alone with themselves, they may need to

•

Is fun lacking in the relationship?

examine what else might be going on within themselves

•

Does one partner feel resistant to being controlled by the other partner?

and in the relationship. Are they using their work and their children to avoid themselves and each other? If

•

work, chores and childcare?

their time alone or together is not fulfilling, then work time and kid time can be ways of filling an inner emptiness.

Or, the time problems might be a result of unexamined

Is one partner resenting the imbalance regarding

•

Is one partner feeling angry or withdrawn? If so, why?

priorities.

If the real reason for not spending time together is truly We all tend to do what is truly important to us. If work is

about not enough time, then you need to consider

important to us, then we may work a lot. If parenting is

how you can get help, such as hiring a neighborhood

important to us, then we might spend lots of time with

teenager, to do some chores or spend some time with

our children. If our creative pursuits, hobbies, or sports

young children.

are important to us, then we will find time for them. If our emotional and spiritual growth is important to us, we will

If spending time together is a high priority, you can find a

find the time to practice Inner Bonding. The same is true

way!

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 17

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[ PARENTING ]

How to be Imperfect

by Christine Carter, Ph.D. Last autumn, horrific wildfires raged near our home. People we knew were losing their houses left and right. In the midst of disaster, I had to leave town for work.

To make myself feel better, I typed up three single-spaced pages of detailed instructions for what my family should do in case of fire or earthquake. Which I then laminated. And posted in each of my kids’ bedrooms.

I then made my family practice an emergency evacuation. Tanner, age 15, volunteered to take care of the family heirlooms. I drilled him, dead serious: “Which are the high-priority photo albums?” Molly, 14, was drawing on her ankle with a ballpoint pen. “Molly! Pay attention! When you get Buster into the car, what else do you need to make sure you have with you?”

Christine Carter, Ph.D.*, is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of “RAISING HAPPINESS: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.” She teaches online happiness classes that help parents bring more joy into their own lives and the lives of their children, and she writes an award-winning blog for *Greater Good* (www.greatergoodparents.org).

My husband rolled his eyes.

Until recently, I’d thought that I’d more or less conquered perfectionism.

Perfectionism, I’d become fond of saying, is a particular form of unhappiness.

I’d thank GOD I wasn’t a perfectionist anymore.

Hah. While it is true that I am no longer as afraid of making mistakes or disappointing others as I was in my youth, I have obviously not yet rid myself of perfectionism. I’ve just turned it outward, to the world, and especially to others. How am I trying to solve this problem of mine? Read on.

Inner turbulence, outer control The more turbulent I am inside, the more I try to control what’s happening on the outside. Some people look away when chaos reigns; I dig in. I boss people around. I am aggressive about what I think is right.

Feeling like I am right, like I know what to do, delivers a hit of certainty in a world of unending and catastrophic natural disasters, in a country where mass shootings are commonplace and our hot-headed president brags about his ability to start a nuclear war.

But every time I try to control anything other than my own thoughts—the weather, my husband, my children—I’m sending a message to the world and the people around me that they are not good enough. This absolutely is perfectionism, and indeed, it is a particular form of unhappiness—one that spreads like wildfire.

This control freakish-ness indicates that I have problem with what researchers call “other-oriented perfectionism.”

I’m not alone. A new study published in Psychological Bulletin demonstrates that perfectionism is increasing over time: Today’s youth are more demanding of others, and they are more demanding of themselves. They also feel like other people (e.g., parents like me) are more demanding of them.

Like its close cousins “self-oriented perfectionism” and “socially prescribed perfectionism,” other-oriented perfectionism leads to nothing good. Although

20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

[ PARENTING ] we often think that perfectionism is a cause of success— “I’m a bit of a perfectionist” is a socially acceptable humble-brag—research clearly demonstrates that perfectionism is often debilitating. A well-studied phenomenon, perfectionism is clearly associated with serious depression, chronic anxiety, and myriad health problems.

And “other-oriented perfectionism” comes with additional drawbacks: In intimate relationships, it is linked with “greater conflict and lower sexual satisfaction.”

When I get bossy and controlling, the people around me feel defensive, or they feel wrong, or they feel a lack of control—nothing anyone ever wants to feel.

Being controlling is like a sugar rush: It might bring me a quick hit of tense certainty, but never lasting peace. This is because all control is false. Temporary at best. Life is inherently uncertain. We might hate that, but it’s true. We can be sure of only one thing: We will die. And we are usually not even in control of that.

during a disaster (because, you know, when the house is on fire that’s just what everyone needs), I could have let myself accept reality: We could, at some point, lose our home in a fire. And then I could just let myself feel the fear and anxiety I was actually already feeling.

This approach requires trust. Trust that if I’m still here, still breathing, everything is okay. Trust that even if I don’t give specific instructions, if I back off from trying to control everyone and everything, life will continue to unfold just as it’s meant to. Trust that even if it all goes to hell, even if other people make mistakes or do things differently than I would do them, that I can deal with the outcome, no matter what it is. Trust that I can handle all the difficult emotions that come up in response to what does or does not happen. Trust that I can handle loss and grief should it come.

“You know what to do now, in a fire or an earthquake?” I asked the kids a few weeks later.

“Pretty much,” Molly answered, looking up.

How to surrender Given this, why do I so consistently and diligently resist uncertainty by trying to get the world to do things my way? And what can I do instead of retreating back into perfectionism?

The opposite of perfectionism is acceptance. Not resignation, but surrender…to whatever is happening in the present moment. I know, I know: That sounds terrible to my fellow control freaks. Bear with me.

You may have heard the truism that what we resist, persists. This teaches us that we often prolong pain and difficulty through resistance. Perfectionism is a form of resistance to whatever is actually happening in the present moment. At its foundation, it is a rejection of the current reality.

Research by Kristin Neff and others shows that resistance increases our suffering, while acceptance—particularly self-acceptance—is one of the lesser-known secrets to happiness.

But this idea that we do better when we don’t resist difficulty is very counterintuitive. How do we even begin to stop resisting what hurts or what scares us?

Behavioral science and great wisdom traditions both point us towards acceptance. It is strangely effective to simply accept that which we cannot control, especially if we are in a difficult or painful situation. To do this, we accept the situation, and also our emotions about the situation.

Instead of laminating instructions for exactly what to do

“What?” I asked.

“Depends what we’re dealing with. I’m in charge of Buster. I’ll get him to the meeting place.”

This is a good-enough plan…even though it does not account for some critical details.

Weirdly, this trust and acceptance thing works. When we suppress or deny our emotions (or distract ourselves from them by writing and laminating instruction manuals), they don’t actually go away. In fact, they tend to generate an even bigger physiological response, which makes us more, not less, anxious. But when we let ourselves feel what we feel, we can process what is happening. We don’t feel fewer challenging emotions, but we do feel them for less time.

For example, we might have a particularly difficult relationship with a neighbor or in-law. We can accept this as our reality, and also that we feel frustrated and saddened by the situation. This doesn’t mean that the situation will never get better; acceptance is not the same as resignation. We can work to make the relationship less difficult (or to be reasonably prepared in the event of a disaster), while at the same time accepting the reality that the relationship is very difficult.

Maybe it will get better—and maybe it won’t.

Accepting the reality of a difficult or scary situation and our limited control allows us to soften. And this softening opens the door to our own compassion and wisdom.

And in this crazy and uncertain life, we human beings need those things.

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21

[ HEALTH ]

Hayes B. Gladstone, MD is the medical director of the Gladstone Clinic in San Ramon and the former Director of the Division of Dermatologic Surgery at Stanford University. He is a past Board Member of the California American Cancer Society and has been honored by the Melanoma Research Foundation for his clinical work in melanoma and other skin cancers. www.gladstoneclinic.com

The Truth About Skin Cancer

by Dr. Hayes Gladstone Skin cancer will affect one in five Americans in their life time. Though there are several types of skin cancers, the three most common skin cancers are Basal Cell Carcinoma, Squamous Cell Carcinoma and Melanoma. Basal Cell Carcinoma is the most common skin cancer and the most curable. It tends to occur in older people who have had chronic sun exposure. However, due to sunburns during childhood, there has been a downward age trend. I have removed Basal Cell Carcinomas in patients in their twenties.

Though it is healthy for children to participate in outdoor activities, it is very important that they use physical sunblocks which have either titanium dioxide or zinc oxide. The physical sunblocks have a broad UV A & UV B coverage— these are the sun rays that can cause sun burns and skin cancer. Despite this excellent protection, these sunblocks should be reapplied if you are out more than two hours. Though some sunblocks claim to be waterproof, I think is wise

22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

[ HEALTH ] to reapply them after being in the pool or after excessive

the other treatment that has become popular in the

perspiration.

past several years is superficial radiation for Basal Cell Carcinomas and Squamous Cell Cancers. Traditional

Squamous cell carcinoma is the second leading skin

radiation used to be performed only in special facilities

cancer. It is also due to sun exposure though there can

and rarely performed for skin cancers because of

be other causes such as chronic arsenic exposure. Or

potential side effects. Recently, more superficial radiation

hydrocarbon exposure—chimney sweeps were shown

treatments can be performed in a dermatology office.

to have a higher rate of squamous cell skin cancer.

Though the cure rate is not quite as high as Mohs

Individuals who have had organ transplants and had

Surgery, nor are the margins checked, these treatments

significant sun exposure before the transplant are also

have become popular with patients because there

more susceptible to squamous cell skin cancer though

is no numbing with needles, no pain, short treatment

we believe that the cause potentially may from a virus.

times and no downtime. There can be light spots at the

While Basal Cell Cancers tend to look like irritated

treatment site, but not like a traditional scar.

nonhealing pimples—the British call them “rodent ulcers”—Squamous Cell Carcinomas tend have more of a ragged edge, and are more aggressive. It is extremely rare that Basal Cell Cancers spread to distant organs such as the lungs, but large Squamous Cell Carcinomas on the face particularly on the ear and lip or on the genitals have a higher rate of metastases particularly to the lymph nodes. This can result in a lower survival rate.

Though there are a number of treatments for nonmelanoma skin cancers such as Basal Cell Carcinomas and Squamous Cell Carcinomas, the gold standard is Mohs Micrographic Surgery. This technique was started by Frederick Mohs initially when he was a medical student in Madison, Wisconsin in the 1930’s.

Back then, the procedure could take several days to complete. Essentially the skin cancer was fixed with

Melanoma is the most deadly of the skin cancers and unfortunately has been on the rise and can affect younger people. Most of the time, it appears as a dark mole that has very irregular borders, is asymmetric and has multiple colors—dark with a reddish hue. Yet many melanomas don’t appear in this “textbook” manner and can be difficult to diagnose. Individuals with an immediate family history are at higher risk for melanoma since there is also a genetic component in addition to early sunburns. Though there are other factors, melanoma prognosis is primarily based on its depth in the skin. Treatment which can include surgery and lymph node removal to immunotherapy depends on the depth of the melanoma and whether it has spread to other organs. Though here have been amazing

chemicals, then removed, and prepared in specific way

advances in the treatment of advanced melanoma

so that the surgeon who also acts as the pathologist

which has increased survivability, the best way to

could look at the entire margin. The technique was

survive melanoma is to catch it early. Though there is

modified in the late 1960’s with two dermatologic

ongoing work on computer algorithms to help detect

surgeons named Sam Stegman and Ted Tromovitch who

melanoma, still the best way to diagnose it is by having a

were associated with UCSF. Their modification allowed

dermatologist do a skin examination. We can certainly

the procedure to be performed over several hours. Not

learn a great deal from the Australians who despite

only does this technique have the highest cure rate

having the highest rate of skin cancer, have been able

by far, but because the mohs surgeon microscopically

to make significant advances in decreasing its incidence

maps out the tumor, only the very minimum of tissue is

through intense public education and prevention

removed. This results in the smallest scar possible.

methods such as wearing hats when outside or exercising outdoors, or rashguards when swimming, and refraining

While topicals can be used in superficial skin cancers,

from outdoor activities during the mid-day sun.

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23

[ EVENTS ]

May Alameda County MAY 1 Hikes for Tykes: Redwood Trudeau Training Center Oakland 10:30am-11:45pm www.ebparks.org/cals

MAY 2 Rainbow Family Night Habitot Children’s Museum Berkeley 5:30pm-7:30pm www.habitot.org/museum/ events_calendar.html My First Fish!

Shadow Cliffs Livermore 5pm-7pm www.ebparks.org/cals

MAY 5 50th Anniversary Party Del Valle Livermore 10am-4pm www.ebparks.org/cals Spring Fair on the Farm Dublin Heritage Park and Museum Dublin 12pm-5pm dublinca.gov/1501/Spring-Fairon-the-Farm

MAY 10 Ride the Rails - Train Rides Ardenwood Fremont 10:15am-2:30pm www.ebparks.org/cals

MAY 11 Animal Feeding Ardenwood Fremont 3pm-3:30pm www.ebparks.org/cals

MAY 12

MAY 19, 20

MAY 19

Wine Stroll Downtown Pleasanton Pleasanton 5pm-8pm www.pleasantondowntown.net/ event/index

Livermore Wine Country Downtown Street Festival Downtown Livermore Livermore 11am-4pm www.livermoredowntown. com/livermore-wine-countrydowntown-street-fest/2018

Moraga Community Garage Sale Individuals homes Moraga All Day www.moraga.ca.us/ BookingRetrieve.aspx?ID=205055

Mother’s Day Gift Making Habitot Children’s Museum Berkeley 9:30am-12:30pm www.habitot.org/museum/ events_calendar.html ZooKids Oakland Zoo Oakland 9:30am-12pm www.oaklandzoo.org/programsand-events/zookids

MAY 12, 13 Spring Festival Park Street Alameda 10am-6pm downtownalameda.com/events/ spring-festival

MAY 19 Arroyo Viejo Creek Clean Up Oakland Zoo Oakland 9am-12pm www.oaklandzoo.org/programsand-events Kids ‘n Kites Festival Central Park Fremont 10am-3pm fremont.gov/1109/Kids-n-KitesFestival Children’s Book Festival Children’s Fairyland Oakland 10am-4pm fairyland.org/events-andperformances

24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

MAY 25 Zoovie Night Oakland Zoo Oakland 6:30pm-9pm www.oaklandzoo.org/programsand-events

MAY 26

May 19 Wine, Women & Shoes Pleasant Hill COmmunity Center Pleasant Hill 5pm-9pm www.ci.pleasant-hill.ca.us/888/ Festivals-Events

MAY 20

Aqua Adventure Waterpark Opens Aqua Adventure Waterpark Fremont 11am-5pm www.goaquaadventure.com

Next Step Dance Spring Recital Dougherty Valley Performing Arts Center San Ramon 10am, 12pm, 2pm, 4pm, 6pm www.sanramon.ca.gov

MAY 27

MAY 27

Antiques & Collectibles Faire Downtown Pleasanton Pleasanton 8am-4pm www.pleasantondowntown.net/ event/index

Contra Costa County MAY 6 MG Car Show Danville Livery Danville 10am-3pm www.danvillelivery.com/events

MAY 12 Spring Clean Up Alhambra Cemetery Martinez 10am-2pm www.cityofmartinez.org/cals/ default.asp

Porsche Car Show 2018 Danville Livery Danville 10am-3pm www.danvillelivery.com/events/ Sunset by the Lake Summer Concert Lawn of City Hall Pleasant Hill 6pm-8pm www.ci.pleasant-hill.ca.us/888/ Festivals-Events

MAY 27, 28 San Ramon Art and Wind Festival San Ramon Central Park San Ramon 11am www.sanramon.ca.gov

[ EVENTS ]

May MAY 28

MAY 12

Memorial Day Ceremony Civic Park Walnut Creek 10am-12pm www.walnut-creek.org

Willow Glen 5K Willow Glen Elementary San Jose 9am-10:20am www.sanjoseca.gov/Calendar. aspx

Memorial Day Ceremony Oak Hill Park Danville 10:30am-12pm www.danville.ca.gov/calendar

Out of Area MAY 4 First Friday Family Night CuriOdyssey San Mateo 5pm-8pm curiodyssey.org/activities South First Friday Fiesta Parque de Pobladores San Jose 7pm-10pm www.sanjoseca.gov/Calendar. aspx

MAY 5 Cinco de Mayo Festival Mission District on Valencia Street San Francisco 10am-6pm mncsf.org/sfcincodemayo/the-sfcinco-de-mayo-festival

MAY 8

MAY 12, 13 Teen Animation Festival Walt Disney Museum San Francisco 10am-6pm www.waltdisney.org/teenanimation-festival-international

MAY 13 Mother’s Day Dining on The Row Santana Row San Jose 11am-9pm www.santanarow.com/events Mother’s Day Brunch Gilroy Gardens Gilroy 11am & 12pm www.gilroygardens.org/tickets/ drink-and-dining-deals

MAY 20 Latin American Salsa Festival Discovery Meadow San Jose 11am-6:30pm www.sanjoseca.gov/Calendar. aspx

MAY 26 Color Run San Jose Arena Green East San Jose 8am-12pm www.sanjoseca.gov/Calendar. aspx

MAY 26-28 Memorial Weekend BBQ Gilroy Garden Gilroy 12pm & 1pm www.gilroygardens.org/tickets/ drink-and-dining-deals

MAY 18-20 Maker Faire Bay Area Maker Faire San Mateo Times vary makerfaire.com/bay-area

MAY 19

Mommy & Me FREE Kids Club Santana Row San Jose 10am-12pm www.santanarow.com/events

Family Night Hike & Campfire NatureBridge at Golden Gate Sausalito 6-8:30pm naturebridge.org/golden-gate

MAY 10

Recess’ 10th Anniversary Party + Fundraiser Recess Urban Creation San Francisco 9am-12pm www.recessurbanrecreation.com

Crafternoon: Mother’s Day Flower Pot Recess Urban Creation San Francisco 4:30pm-5:30pm www.recessurbanrecreation.com

Music for Families: The Bold and the Brave Davies Symphony Hall San Francisco 2pm www.sfsymphony.org

Email info@activefamilymag.com to subscribe to our weekly email blast for more events!

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25

[ PARENTING ]

How Are You Really?

by Christie Organ Last fall while I was out for a walk, I passed a young mom on the street.

When I first saw her from a half a block away, I thought about how lovely it must be to be out for a mid-afternoon walk on a warm and sunny afternoon.

As we walked toward each other, I made up a whole story in my head about this woman, her family, and her life. I imagined her baby had just woken up Christine Organ lives in the Chicago area with her husband and two sons. She has written or contributed to several books, including "Open Boxes: the gifts of living a full and connected life"; "Here In The Middle"; "Daring To See More"; and I Just Want to Be Perfect." She is an associate editor and staff writer for Scary Mommy, and her work has also appeared in The New York Times, and Washington Post, among others. She writes at www. christineorgan.com and has been interviewed on Headline News (a division of CNN).

from a nap, or maybe they were heading home soon so that she could put him down in his crib for one. I thought about the books she might read to him, classics like Brown Bear, Brown Bear or new favorites like The Day the Crayons Quit. I thought about milestones like crawling and standing and walking.

I thought about how happy she must be.

As I approached her, she paused for a minute to talk to the baby and I noticed the baby looked to be about 10 or 11 months old. And then, all of a sudden, I was looking at myself.

Once upon a time, I was the one pushing a cute baby with chunky thighs through a quiet neighborhood in the middle of a warm and sunny September afternoon. Once upon a time, I was the one reading Brown Bear and The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Once upon a time, I worried about nap times and babyproofing.

26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

[ PARENTING ] Once upon a time, that woman was me.

through the night, but do we ask a new mom how she is really feeling? We talk about baby names and share

Except my truth looked nothing like the hypothetical

pediatrician recommendations, but do we ask a father

narrative I had just conjured in my head about this

how he is feeling? We don’t shy away from asking

stranger. I hadn’t felt happy. I felt scared, tired, and

intimate and personal questions about the labor and

lonely. Each day was about survival, making it from one

delivery, breastfeeding, maternity leave, and returning

naptime to the next. I didn’t feel in control of my life,

to work. And somewhere along the way – after a parent

but instead like I was gripping the steering wheel and

is out of the new baby haze perhaps – we assume that,

hanging on for dear life.

unless we are told otherwise, things are just fine. We stop asking, to the extent we ever did ask, How are you? How

These images of my own truth, contrasted with the

are you REALLY?

stories I had made up in my head about a stranger on the street, flooded my brain in a matter of seconds and suddenly I had the urge to stop this woman who I had never met. I wanted to grab her by the shoulders and ask, How are you? How are you REALLY? Are you okay?

Because it’s okay if you don’t feel okay.

Maybe her baby was up all night teething. Maybe her spouse was traveling. Maybe they had been fighting, bickering about socks on the floor and whose turn it was to get up with the baby. Maybe her family lived far away. Maybe she was counting down the hours – the minutes – until bedtime. Maybe her baby was sick and couldn’t go to daycare so she had to take a day off work and while they were out for this quick walk around the neighborhood, emails of stress were filling her inbox.

Or maybe, just as I had imagined, she felt like the luckiest woman in the world out for a mid-afternoon walk on a lovely September afternoon.

Lately I’ve been wondering what might happen if we did ask this question more often. Perhaps people would assume that we are nosy, busy bodies who are crossing boundaries. Or maybe – just maybe – they would answer the question. Maybe parents would start answering with an honest “things are tough” or “I’m exhausted” instead of a generic or canned response. Maybe we’d connect a little more. Maybe we’d all feel a little less alone.

Maybe we could breathe a collective sigh of relief.

If you asked me, I would tell you that I am tired, always tired, but content. Happy even. I would tell you I am missing my parents and my siblings a lot right now.

I would tell you I’m worried about my dad, who is recovering from surgery. I would tell you I am worried about my mom too, who is soldiering on through it all as usual. I would tell you I sometimes feel beaten down by my younger son’s incessant demands and whining, and

How often do we do this? This hypothetical story thing

often exhausted by my headstrong and rambunctious

about how other people are feeling without actually

older son. But in the same breath, I would also tell you

asking, How are you? How are you REALLY?

that they fill me with joy and awe. And if you asked me how are you really?, I would tell you that after a long

Because the truth is, the imagined story is rarely the truth.

stretch of feeling emotionally “off,” I am thankful to finally

As parents – heck, as humans –much of what we see are

be feeling like me again.

the snippets and snapshots. We see adorable Facebook photos. We hear about how so-and-so’s son is walking,

I’m no longer a young mom pushing a baby in a

talking, potty training. But do these glimpses into other’s

stroller. I’m the middle-aged mom walking her dogs in

lives represent reality? Sometimes, they do. But most

the afternoon while the kids are school. But you know

times, they do not.

what? Maybe we never stop needing to be asked that question. And maybe we never stop needing to answer

We ask new parents whether the baby is sleeping

it.

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27

[ EDUCATION ]

Private &Schools Open Houses THE QUARRY LANE SCHOOL

SAINT MICHAEL SCHOOL

A Private Preschool, K-12 College Preparatory School www.quarrylane.org

345 Church Street | Livermore, CA 94550 (925) 447-1888 | www.smsliv.org

Dublin: Junior Kindergarten through Grade 12 6363 Tassajara Rd., Dublin, CA 94568

Saint Michael School is proud to provide a quality Catholic education for students in Transitional Kindergarten through Eighth Grade. As a ministry of St. Michael’s Parish, they offer an educational tradition that is rich in faith, focused on academic rigor, and blessed with an active, involved parent community. Contact Saint Michael School to arrange a school visit.

Please call the Admissions Offices at 925-829-8000 to schedule a personal tour of the Dublin Campus.

Pleasanton East Campus: infant, toddler, preschool, prekindergarten and the KIDZONE (before and afterschool programs for public school students.)

3750 Boulder Street, Pleasanton, CA 94566 Open House every Wednesday morning from 8:30am to 12:00pm. Please call the Admissions Office at 925-846-9400 to schedule a personal tour of the Pleasanton East Campus.

VALLEY MONTESORRI SCHOOL 1273 North Livermore Avenue | Livermore, CA 94551 (925) 455-8021 | www.valleymontessorischool.com 18 Months – Middle School

Open House every Wednesday morning from 8:30am to 12:00pm. Please call the Admissions Office at 925-462-6300 to schedule a personal tour of the Pleasanton West Campus.

Valley Montesorri School is guided by the principles and techniques of Maria Montessori to deliver a rich, engaging learning environment. VMS is accredited by the American Montessori Society and adheres to authentic practices recommended by this organization. VMS teachers guide children to self-discovery by embracing curiosity, creativity, and individual choice through meaningful work, so that they can realize their own unique journey. Please call for more information.

STRATFORD SCHOOL

PRIMROSE SCHOOL OF PLEASANTON

Pleasanton West Campus: preschool and pre-kindergarten programs.

4444B Black Avenue, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Preschool to Middle School www.stratfordschools.com Stratford School invites you to join them for an open house event at most of their Northern California campuses. Meet their leadership, teachers, and staff, and explore Stratford’s curriculum. Children are welcome to attend! Book a tour online today at any of the many locations.

Bay Area Locations: Danville, Fremont, Los Gatos, Milpitas, Morgan Hill, Palo Alto, Pleasanton, San Bruno, San Francisco, San Jose, Santa Clara, Sunnyvale

VALLEY CHRISTIAN SCHOOLS 2500 Inspiration Drive | Dublin CA 94568-2838 www.valleychristianschools.org Preschool Office Hours 7am-6pm / (925) 560-6235 Elementary School Office Hours 7am-4pm / (925) 560-6270 Middle & High School Office Hours 7am-4pm / (925) 560-6250 With educational rigor, community engagement, and a sincere pursuit of faith, wisdom, and service, Valley Christian believes that every student can and will flourish. They are open to the public, 9-11 a.m. weekdays. They offer classroom tours and classroom observations (adults only, please). Private tours are also available.

28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

7110 Koll Center Pkwy | Pleasanton, CA 94566 (925) 600-7746 | www.primroseschools.com/schools Pleasanton Infant, Toddler, Early Preschool, Preschool, and Pre-Kindergarten Primrose Schools is a national system of accredited private preschools that provides a premier early education and childcare experience for children and families. Their Franchise Owners, Leadership Teams and School Staff partner with parents to help build the right foundation for future learning and in life. Call or go online to schedule a tour. *Livermore and San Jose locations coming soon!

ST. ISIDORE CATHOLIC SCHOOL 435 La Gonda Way | Danville, CA 94526 (925) 837-2977 | www.stisidore.org Grades K-8 St. Isidore’s is the East Bay’s largest Catholic elementary school—dedicated to an educational experience that cultivates knowledge, leadership, and service in the Catholic tradition.

Parents are invited to join them for community events throughout the year and Mass on the first Friday of every month at 8:10 a.m. Please contact the school office to arrange a campus tour.

[ EDUCATION ] ST. RAYMOND SCHOOL 11557 Shannon Avenue | Dublin, CA 94568 (925) 828-4064 | www.straymondschool.org Kindergarten – Middle School St. Raymond School partners with parents and recognizes them as the primary educators of their children. The school provides support services and comprehensive co-curricular activities as part of the foundation of our educational program. Students strive to persevere through challenges, to solve problems, and to seek deeper knowledge. St. Raymond School empowers all students to achieve academic excellence in a Catholic environment that encourages them to meet the challenges of life and to serve the gospel of Jesus Christ. Contact the school office to confirm a school tour time.

SAN RAMON VALLEY CHRISTIAN ACADEMY 220 W. El Pintado Road | Danville, CA 94526 (925) 838-9622 | www.srvca.org Preschool – Middle School At San Ramon Valley Christian Academy, their mission is to provide a Christ-centered K-8 education in which students develop spiritually, socially and physically, grounded in the truth of God’s word. When your students enroll at San Ramon Valley Christian Academy (SRVCA), the partnership begins.

SRVCA strives to build a partnership between parents, church, and school. Personal tours are offered during school hours so that you can see a typical day on campus in the grades you are interested in.

THE ATHENIAN SCHOOL 2100 Mt. Diablo Scenic Blvd. | Danville, CA 94506 (925) 837-5375 | www.athenian.org/page Middle School – High School

(925) 686-5353 | www.carondeleths.org High School Carondelet is a four-year Catholic high school serving young women in Contra Costa County. Since it’s founding in 1965 by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet, our school has carried on a proud tradition of values-based, woman-centered education and academic excellence, preparing students for leadership and service in the local and global community.

Please contact Jessica Mix, Director of Admissions at 925-6865353 x367 for more information or visit the website.

THE SEVEN HILLS SCHOOL 975 N San Carlos Dr. | Walnut Creek, CA 94598 (925) 933-0666 | www.sevenhillsschool.org/page Preschool – Middle School A Seven Hills education is based on the whole childphilosophy, as they educate not just the mind but the heart, and attend to the entirety of the student experience. From their Reggioinspired Preschool and developmental Kindergarten, to their adventurous Lower School classes and rigorous Middle School program, Seven Hills students are on a journey of curiosity and exploration, success and setbacks, awareness of self and contribution to others. Please visit the website for admission information.

THE SAKLAN SCHOOL 1678 School St. | Moraga, CA 94556 (925) 376-7900 | www.saklan.org Preschool – 8th Grade

The Athenian School realizes that true multiculturalism and diversity need the spirit of equity and inclusion in order to foster a strong community of learners. Athenian emphasizes skill building around empathy, perspective recognition, analysis and inquiry, self-awareness, and the acknowledgment of environmental privileges. Learning and life are enhanced when we are able to step into the intellectual space of others with respect and understanding. Their goal is that our students, faculty and staff build their capacity to increase their cultural wisdom and create community. Call or go online for all inquires.

The Saklan School offers something very unique. Their mission of thinking creatively, acting compassionately and living courageously is both clear and powerful. When you walk onto the campus and visit the classrooms you notice the extraordinary energy, enthusiasm and purpose that our students possess. This is a place where students of all ages feel safe, secure and connected, a place where students can find their voice, and a place where students of all sizes can dare to dream big. Visit their website to schedule a tour.

DE LA SALLE HIGH SCHOOL

1 Annabel Lane | San Ramon, CA 94583 (925) 930-9000 | www.dorriseaton.com Preschool – 8th Grade

1130 winton Dr. | Concord, CA 94518 (925) 288-8100 | www.dlshs.org High School De La Salle High School was founded in 1965 in the Catholic, Lasallian tradition of the Christian Brothers. As a an allboys’ school, they have an obligation to make a difference in each young man’s life, so that when he leaves them, he will serve others graciously and lovingly. De La Salle cooperates with one another in a spirit of trust and care; their education is practical, accessible to all, and comprehensive. They are committed to the poor. They work together — Brothers, Faculty, Staff and Students. Please contact Joe Grantham at 925-2888102 for more information.

CARONDELET HIGH SCHOOL 1133 Winton Dr. | Concord, CA 94518

THE DORRIS-EATON SCHOOL

The Dorris-Eaton School is recognized locally as well as nationally for its academic excellence. With matchless style, Dorris-Eaton embraces what is best in traditional education and augments it with carefully selected innovations. In addition to the core subjects, students receive specialized instruction in Spanish, studio art, music, computer applications, and physical education. The curriculum is specifically designed to provide students with a solid foundation, and to help them develop the satisfaction of personal achievement and a zeal for learning. To tour the campus, call 925.930.9000 or contact the admissions office at admissions@dorriseaton.com.

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29

[ PARENTING ]

Emma Seppälä, Ph.D is Science Director of Stanford University’s Center for Compassion and Altruism Research and Education and is the author of The Happiness Track (HarperOne, 2016). She is also Co-Director of the Yale College Emotional Intelligence Project at the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence. She is a frequent contributor to Harvard Business Review, Psychology Today, Huffington Post, and Scientific American Mind. She is the founder and editor-in-chief of Fulfillment Daily, a popular news site dedicated to the science of happiness.

Her work and research have been featured in The New York Times, The Washington Post, The Chicago Tribune, The Boston Globe, The Atlantic, VOGUE, ELLE, CBSNews, Oprah Magazine, Fast Company, U.S. World and News Report, Forbes, Cosmopolitan, Inc, Huffington Post, ABC News, Business Insider, SELF, GLAMOUR. She has appeared several times on Good Morning America. She was also interviewed for Huffington Post Live and TIME/MONEY and is featured in the documentary film The Altruism Revolution.

She is the recipient of a number of research grants and service awards including the James W. Lyons Award from Stanford University for founding Stanford’s first academic class on the psychology of happiness and teaching many well-being programs for Stanford students.

She graduated from Yale (BA), Columbia (MA), and Stanford (PhD). Originally from Paris, France, she is a native speaker of French, English, and German.

30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

6 Pieces Of Bad Advice We Give Our Kids – And What To Do Instead

by Emma Seppälä Ph.D. Most parents want their kids to be successful in life—and so we teach them attitudes that we believe will help them achieve their goals. But as I learned while researching my book The Happiness Track, many widely-held theories about what it takes to be successful are proving to be counterproductive.

Sure, they may produce results in the short term. But eventually, they lead to burnout and—get this—less success. Here are a few of the most damaging things many of us are currently teaching our children about success, and what to teach them instead.

What we tell our kids: Focus on the future. Keep your eyes on the prize.

What we should be telling them: Live (or work) in the moment.

It’s hard to stay tightly focused. Research shows our minds tend to wander 50% of the time we’re awake. And when our minds wander, we often start to brood over the past or worry about the future—thereby leading to negative emotions like anger, regret, and stress.

[ PARENTING ] A mind that is constantly trying to focus upon the future— from getting good grades to applying to colleges—will be prone to greater anxiety and fear. While a little bit of stress can serve as a motivator, long-term chronic stress impairs our health as well as our intellectual faculties, such as attention and memory. As a consequence, focusing too hard on the future can actually impair our performance.

Children do better, and feel happier, if they are learning how to stay in the present moment. And when people feel happy, they’re able to learn faster, think more creatively, and problem-solve more easily. Studies even suggest that happiness makes you 12% more productive.

Positive emotions also make you more resilient to stress— helping you to overcome challenges and setbacks more quickly so you can get back on track.

It’s certainly good for children to have goals they’re working toward. But instead of always encouraging them to focus on what’s next on their to-do list, help them stay focused on the task or conversation at hand.

What we tell our kids: Stress is inevitable—keep pushing yourself.

What we should be telling them instead: Learn to chill out.

Children are feeling anxious at younger and younger ages, worrying about grades and feeling pressure to do better at school. Most distressingly, we’re even seeing stress-induced suicides in children—especially in highachieving areas like Palo Alto in Silicon Valley.

The way we conduct our lives as adults often communicates to children that stress is an unavoidable part of leading a successful life. We down caffeine and over-schedule ourselves during the day, living in a constant state of overdrive and burning ourselves out— and at night, we’re so wired that we use alcohol, sleep medication, or Xanax to calm down.

All in all, this is not a good lifestyle to model for children.

It’s no surprise that research shows that children whose parents are dealing with burnout at work are more likely than their peers to experience burnout at school.

I recommend that parents consider teaching their children the skills they will need to be more resilient

in the face of stressful events. While we can’t change the work and life demands that we face at work and at school, we can use techniques such as meditation, yoga, and breathing to better deal with the pressures we face. These tools help children learn to tap into their parasympathetic “rest and digest” nervous system (as opposed to the “fight or flight” stress response).

What we tell our kids: Stay busy.

What we should be telling them: Have fun doing nothing.

Even in our leisure time, people in Western societies tend to value high-intensity positive emotions like excitement, as opposed to low-intensity emotions like calm. (The opposite is true in East Asian countries.) This means that our kids’ schedules are often packed to the brim with extracurricular activities and family outings, leaving little downtime.

There’s nothing wrong with excitement, fun, and seeking out new experiences. But excitement, like stress, exhausts our physiology by tapping into our “fight or flight” system—and so we can unwittingly prompt our children to burn through their energy after school or on weekends, leaving them with fewer resources for the times when they need it most.

Moreover, research shows that our brains are more likely to come up with brilliant ideas when we are not focusing (thus the proverbial a-ha moment in the shower). So instead of over-scheduling kids, we should be blocking out time when they can be left to their own devices.

Children can turn any situation—whether they are sitting in a waiting room or walking to school—into an opportunity for play. They may also choose calming activities like reading a book, taking the dog for a walk, or simply lying under a tree and staring up at the clouds—all of which will allow them to approach the rest of their lives from a more centered, peaceful place.

Giving your kids downtime will help them to be more creative and innovative. And just as importantly, it will help them learn to relax.

The point here is not to never challenge them or deprive them of opportunities for learning, the point is not to overschedule and overcommit them to the point where they don’t have opportunities to learn independent play, to be with themselves and daydream, to learn to be happy just being rather than always doing.

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31

[ PARENTING ] What we tell our kids: Play to your strengths.

What we should be telling them: Make mistakes and learn to fail.

Parents tend to identify their children by their strengths and the activities that come naturally to them. They say their child is a “a math person,” a “people person,” or “an artist.” But research by Stanford University’s Carol Dweck shows that this mindset actually boxes your child into a persona, and makes them less likely to want to try new things that they may not be good at. When a kid receives praise primarily for being athletic, for example, they’re less likely to want to leave their comfort zone and try out for drama club. This can make them more anxious and depressed when faced with failure or challenges.

Why? Because they believe that, if they encounter obstacles in a given area, that make them “not good at” the activity.

But our brains are wired to learn new things. And it can only be a good thing to learn from our mistakes while we’re young. So instead of identifying your child’s strengths, teach them that they actually can learn anything—as long as they try. Research by Dweck, author of best-selling book Mindset, shows children will then be more optimistic and even enthusiastic in the face of challenges, knowing that they just need to give it another go to improve. And they will be less likely to feel down about themselves and their talents.

What we tell our kids: Know your weaknesses, and don’t be soft.

What we should be telling them: Treat yourself well.

We also tend to think that criticism is important for self-improvement. But while self-awareness is of course important, parents often inadvertently teach their children to be too self-critical. If a parent tells a child that she should try to be more outgoing, for example, the child may internalize that as a criticism of her naturally introverted personality.

But research on self-criticism shows that it is basically self-sabotage. It keeps you focused on what’s wrong with you, thereby decreasing your confidence. It makes you afraid of failure, which hurts your performance, makes you give up more easily, and leads to poor decisionmaking. And self-criticism makes you more likely to be anxious and depressed when faced with a challenge.

32 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

Instead, parents should encourage children to develop attitudes of self-compassion—which means treating yourself as you would a friend in times of failure or pain. This doesn’t mean that your children should be self-indulgent or let themselves off the hook when they mess up. It simply means that they learn not to beat themselves up. A shy child with self-compassion, for example, will tell herself that it’s okay to feel shy sometimes and that her personality simply isn’t as outgoing as others —and that she can set small, manageable goals to come out of her shell. This mindset will allow her to excel in the face of challenge, develop new social skills, and learn from mistakes.

What we tell our kids: It’s a dog-eat-dog world—so look out for number one.

What we should be telling them: Show compassion to others.

Research shows that, from childhood onward, our social connections are the most important predictor of health, happiness, and even longevity. Having positive relationships with other people is essential for our wellbeing, which in turn influences our intellectual abilities and ultimate success.

Moreover, likability is one of the strongest predictors of success—regardless of actual skills. Wharton professor Adam Grant’s book Give & Take shows that you express compassion to those around you and create supportive relationships instead of remaining focused on yourself, you will actually be more successful in the long term—as long as you don’t let yourself be taken advantage of.

Children are naturally compassionate and kind. But as psychologist Jean Twenge has written about in her book Generation Me, young people are also becoming increasingly self-involved. So, it’s important to encourage children’s natural instincts to care about other people’s feelings and learn to put themselves in other people’s shoes.

It’s true that it’s a tough world out there. But it would be a lot less tough if we all emphasized cutthroat competition less, and put a higher premium on learning to get along.

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[ PARENTING ]

Are You A ‘Good’ Influence on Your Kids?

by Roma Khetarpal We ought to deeply consider how we impart wisdom upon and share lessons with our children.

We’re often quick to let our children know what company they should keep and who might be the “bad” influences on them. As kids get older, they have a tendency to emulate peers who might dress controversially or behave inappropriately. What we seldom realize, however, is that we are the ones who, first and foremost, end up shaping the adults our children become and who influence most of the choices that they make. So, what defines “good” parental influence?

We all want to raise kids who know who they are—their personality traits, their own weaknesses and strengths—so that they can make good choices when faced with curiosity and temptations. In order for them to learn this life-enhancing skill, we have to commit to being conscious and mindful in the day-to-day choices that we Roma Khetarpal is the author of The “Perfect” Parent: 5 Tools for Using Your Inner Perfection to Connect with Your Kids and the founder/ CEO of Tools of Growth (www. toolsofgrowth.com), through which she helps parents raise kids to “Be Happy, Think Positive, and Do Good.” She is also a contributor to Huffingtonpost.com and Masalamommas.com.

make while raising our children. But what does that look like in daily life?

Here are three life habits we must master if we want to be a “good” influence on our kids: 1. Take frequent trips inward to reflect on what you value that has been passed on to you from the adults in your life and take a personal inventory of what you do not value and do not want to pass on to your kids. The first part is easy. If you were influenced by parents or adults who were kind and compassionate, those lessons are part of who you are and what you will be proud to pass along to your kids.

She is also an Executive Board Member of the Philanthropic Society Los Angeles, which raises funds for Children’s Institute, Inc., and is Member of the Board of Directors for the Santa Clarita Valley Education Foundation, an organization providing support, programs and leadership for K-12 public school education. Khetarpal also serves on the Board of Directors at AM-Touch Dental where she previously served for 20 years as Vice President of Sales and Marketing and where she currently teaches employee relations classes.

She is also working on a line of children’s products that will promote self-understanding and emotional intelligence. (Article first published on Huffington Post)

However, each of us carries baggage from our childhood that has not served us well; that is the self-reflection that we also need to focus on. These habits may be buried deep in our subconscious, but they will nevertheless show up in our lives.

If your mother talked down to your father, chances are that you will do the same to your spouse – despite your better judgment. If your father had a habit of yelling to be heard, that too may surface in your relationships. Why? Because we have been programmed for these actions during our growing years. These are the kinds of influences that we need to become aware of and pay attention to when we are raising our own children. Fixing the mismatch between what we want to pass on to our children and what we end up passing along to them requires a trip inward to address and heal the burdens of our past.

As Dacher Keltner has said in The Power Paradox, “Life is made up of patterns.

Patterns of eating, thirst, sleep, and fight-or-flight are crucial to our individual survival; patterns of courtship, sex, attachment, conflict, play, creativity, family life, and collaboration are crucial to our collective survival. Wisdom is our ability

34 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

[ PARENTING ] to perceive these patterns and to shape them into

voice. Speaking to them kindly – especially in adversity

coherent chapters within the longer narrative of our

– teaches them strong communication skills that will

lives.”

benefit them in every walk of life.

This is the type of wisdom we call forth when we take a

3. Make sure your influence is worth passing on. We

trip inward. Keep in mind, these patterns become most

can only teach our children to experience the true

apparent when we are in conflict with our children.

essence of life if we know how to do so ourselves.

Repetitive disagreements are the markers that illuminate

Creating experiences for a joyful life is truly in our own

the deeper issues we need to address. They are an

hands. Let your choices be guided by honesty, integrity,

invitation to heal and grow. And when we become

values, and morals that leave a trail worth following.

conscious of how we act and why, we can influence our

That means exemplifying a life of growth and love.

children to lead a joyful life!

Give your children core values that will help them cope with life’s challenges. Don’t just serve your own family

2. Accept and respect children for who they are and

unit but apply your efforts to your extended family as

what they stand for. Each child comes into this world with

well. Shower your hospitality on your neighbors and

his or her own unique gifts, traits, and quirks. Judging

community. Set standards for what’s most important in

our children and trying to fit them into societal molds

life—not things but connections to other people.

hampers their spirit and their innate ability to thrive. It prevents them from learning the life lessons they need

We can only introduce our children to humility when we

to grow. When we accept and respect them, that forms

are humble ourselves. We can only teach our children to

the foundation of our children’s self-understanding, self-

honor commitments if we do so ourselves. We can only

respect, self-worth, self-confidence, and self-esteem.

advocate a good work ethic if we own one ourselves.

We teach our kids to accept their siblings, peers and

Life is not hard. It can be as much fun as we want it to be.

friends, and to treat them with respect. Yet we often find

Infusing fun and laughter into your day-to-day life with

ourselves asking our kids questions like, “How come your

children imprints memorable legacies and influences.

sister can listen and you don’t?” Or “If dumb Joey next door can accomplish this, why can’t you?” Or “You’re

The truth is that we should exert very little effort in

the only kid in class who argues with your teacher.

teaching our kids anything! If we embody our ideals,

What’s wrong with you?”

our children will be influenced by those through sheer osmosis. It might seem like we are our children’s leaders.

When faced with repetitive challenges, flip your reaction

We are not. We help raise them for a short period of their

to a response. First balance your child’s emotions with

life—from birth to 17 or 18 years old. After that, they grow

“This must be hard for you.” Then jog his or her intellect

their own wings and lead themselves through their own

with “What do you want for yourself from this class?”

lives. But what we do is influence the lifelong choices that

or “Why do you feel you have to defend yourself with

they make by the life habits that we choose while they

this teacher?” When we accept and respect children,

are under our influence, in our home, and in our family.

we avoid jumping on an emotional train and instead become fully present with them. That way we build

While we are in the midst of the summer season, take a

trust, a connection and a deeper relationship with

journey inward and identify how you want to positively

them. This then helps kids understand themselves. The

influence your children. Implement those choices now to

tone of voice we use with our children feeds their inner

amplify the joy of this time of year and for a lifetime.

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 35

[ TRAVEL ]

Twenty-four Hour Staycation – San Francisco –

by Elizabeth Kang Locals tend to avoid crowded, popular areas in their city, dubbed “tourist traps,” for fear of overpriced kitsch and overwhelming crowds, but once in a while it’s fun to be a tourist in your own city — to revisit places you haven't been in years, or perhaps have never seen at all. This month we did just that in SF, with an overnight stay at the Westin St. Francis and a visit to the always bustling Union Square, Chinatown, Fisherman’s Wharf, and Ghirardelli Square. overall feel is gorgeously up-to-date, clean and sophisticated.

5 p.m.

Shop! Step outside your hotel and you'll happily find yourself in one of the best shopping districts around, with numerous department stores, upscale boutiques, galleries and restaurants, all in easy walking distance from your home base.

4 p.m.

Check in to the recently remodeled Westin St. Francis, which offers sizable king room suites that are perfectly suited for families.

The hotel’s location is about as convenient as it gets, right in the heart of Union Square, on Powell Street. The historic hotel (opened in 1904) just completed a $45-milliondollar renovation, so the Westin’s 36 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

7 p.m.

Dinner in Chinatown. Surprisingly close to Union Square, Chinatown is only three blocks away, and a great choice for dinner. Hop on a cable car (which picks you up right in front of your hotel) and get dropped off in a place of wonder and history, not to mention delicious food options.

Not feeling Chinese? The North

[ TRAVEL ]

Beach district is right next door to Chinatown, and offers a dazzling array of Italian Restaurants.

8 a.m.

Breakfast at The Oak Room. With a busy day ahead, it’s always most convenient to eat breakfast at your hotel, and The Westin St. Francis offers a very good one at their onsite restaurant, The Oak Room.

Choose from the expansive buffet (dim sum, eggs benedict, madeto-order omelets, “superfoods”, cheeses & cold cuts, pastries, fresh fruit, etc.) or order al a carte.

9 a.m.

Hop on a cable car right in front of your hotel and make your way to Fisherman’s Wharf, where your kids will love exploring Pier 39, checking

out the famous colony of Sea Lions, touring historic ships, or, if you’ve planned ahead, taking a tour of Alcatraz Island. It’s also fun to book a last minute one-hour bay cruise on a Blue & Gold Fleet, which typically don’t require advance reservations.

1 p.m.

To truly experience San Francisco like a tourist, you’ve got to eat clam

chowder in a sourdough bread bowl. The meal is ubiquitous in the area, and makes the perfect affordable, comforting (and also delicious!) lunch. Fog Harbor Fish House (Pier 39) makes a darn good clam chowder in a bread bowl, as does Scoma’s Restaurant, and the more casual Boudin Sourdough Bakery & Cafe.

3 p.m.

Dessert in Ghirardelli Square.

Walk or take a bike taxi to nearby Ghirardelli Square for a memorable hot fudge sundae before heading home. The Original Ghirardelli Ice Cream & Chocolate Shop makes mouthwatering banana splits, sundaes and hot cocoa that are worth every calorie and make the sweetest ending to a fun-filled, “touristy” weekend in SF. MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 37

[ TRAVEL ]

The Historic Westin St Francis Aside from its stellar location and gorgeous remodel, the Westin St Francis offers all the sophistication, grace and style you’d expect from a four-star hotel, plus a long and rich history.

Initially built as apartments for permanent guests, the hotel was built in 1904, with an additional wing added in 1913. The hotel impressively withstood the 1906 earthquake, with no structural damage to speak of, (although a fire did cause some interior damage.) The St. Francis is now one of the largest hotels in the city, and past guests include famous names such as Hellen Keller, Theadore Roosevelt, Woodrow Wilson, Charlie Chaplin, the Ringling Brothers, Cary Grant, and many others.

Having just completed a $45 million dollar renovation, the Westin St. Francis looks as sophisticated and stylish as ever, with luxurious rooms swathed in a soothing, contemporary palette of blues and grays. The family-friendly hotel boasts breathtaking views, three dining options, and surprisingly affordable rates. The Westin St. Francis is the perfect destination for an overnight date or a family weekend.

38 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

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[ SUMMER CAMP ]

2018

ZOOCAMP ZooCamp is an exciting week of animal adventure, nature discovery, and FUN for kids pre-K through high school.

Camps run mid-June through mid-August

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[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Summer Alameda County ALAMEDA Alameda School of Music 1307 High St. 510.769.0195 www.alamusic.org

Camp Bladium 800 West Tower Ave 510.814.4999 www.bladiumalameda.com/ youth-kids/kids-camps

BERKELEY Music Discovery Workshop 2005 Berryman St. 510.528.1725 www.sfems.org

St. John’s Camp Elmwood 2727 College Ave. 510.845.6830 www.stjohnsberkeley.org/ campelmwood

Sticky Art Lab 1682 University Ave. 510.981.1148 www.stickyartlab.com

City of Dublin 100 Civic Plaza 925.556.4500 www.ci.dublin.ca.us

Young Writers Camp UC Berkeley Campus 510.642.0971

Valley Christian School 7500 Inspiration Dr. 925.560.6270

www.bawpwritingcamp.org

www.ValleyChristianSchools.org

Green Stuff Summer Camp UC Berkeley Botanical Gardens 510.643.4832

Edge Gymnastics Training Center 6780 Sierra Court St. K 925.479.9904

www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

www.edge-gymnastics.com

Lawrence Hall of Science UC Berkeley 510.642.5134

Kidz Kraftz Quail Creek Cir. 925.271.0015

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Tri-Valley YMCA 6693 Sierra Ln 925.263.4444

Berkeley Echo Lake Camp Lot #7 Echo Lakes Rd 530.659.7539 www.cityofberkeley.info/camps

CASTRO VALLEY Skye Valley Training Camp 10250 Crow Canyon Rd 925.858.8825 www.psi.lunariffic.com/~skyev0/

Sarah’s Science 21525 Knoll Way 510.581.3739 www.sarahscience.com

Camp Kee Tov 1301 Oxford St. 510.842.2372 www.campkeetov.org

Bee Best Learning 20394 San Miguel Ave. 510.728.2110 www.beebestlearning.com

Habitot 2065 Kittredge St. 510.647.1111 ext. 14 www.habitot.org/museum/ activities_camps.html

Monkey Business Camp 2880A Sacramento St. 510.540.6025

www.trivalley.ymcaeastbay.org

Extended Day Child Care 8435 Davona Dr. 925.829.4043 & 7997 Vomac Rd. 925.551.8170 7243 Tamarack Dr. 925.833.0127 & 5301 Hibernia Dr. 925.803.4154 & 3300 Antone Way 925.826.5538 www.extendeddaychildcare.com

Quarry Lane School 6363 Tassajara Rd. 925.829.8000

DUBLIN

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East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 4651 Gleason Dr. 925.479.9670

FREMONT

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42 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

Learning Bee Summer Camp 39977 Mission Blvd.

510.226.8408 www.learningbeeusa.com

Ohlone for Kids 43600 Mission Blvd.

510.659.6000 www.ohlone.edu/org/ ohloneforkids

HAYWARD Hayward Area Recreation Park District (H.A.R.D.) Day Camps 510.881.6700 www.haywardrec.org

LIVERMORE Horizons East Equestrian Center 5111 Doolan Rd. 925.960.9696 www.showstables.com

Roy’s Magic Camp 2466 8th St. 925.455.0600 www.magiccamp.org

Camp Arroyo Taylor Family Foundation 5535 Arroyo Rd. 925.371.8401 www.ebparks.org/activities/ daycamps/parks_camp_arroyo

Saddle to Ride Topline Training, Inc. 4180 Greenville Rd. 925.858.3933 www.saddle2ride.com

Xtreme Force Dance Company 847 Rincon Ave. 925.455.6054 www.xtremeforcedanceco.com

Double Diamond Sports Academy 2272 Research Dr. 925.830.9765 www. doublediamondsportsacademy. com

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camps Valley Montessori 1273 N. Livermore Ave. 925.455.8021

MOCHA Summer Camp 1625 Clay St. 510.465.8770

Contra Costa County

www.valleymontessorischool.com

www.mocha.org

OAKLAND

PLEASANTON

Lakeshore Children’s Center 3534 Lakeshore Ave. 510.893.4048

Gingerbread Preschool 4333 Black Ave. 925.931.3430

City of Antioch Parks and Recreation 213 “F” St 925.776.7070

www.lakeshorechildrenscenter.org

www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us/services/ recreation/gb/gbhome.html

Urban Adventure Camp 5701 Cabot Dr. 510.339.0676 www.urbanadventurecamps.com

Extended Day Child Care 5199 Black Ave. 925.846.5519 www.extendeddaychildcare.com

East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 8323 Baldwin St. 510.569.0702 www.eastbayspca.org/camp

Quarry Lane School - East 3750 Boulder St. 925.846.9400 www.quarrylane.org

California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 4660 Harbord Dr. 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html

Oakland Summer ZooCamp 9777 Golf Links Rd. 510.632.9525 www.oaklandzoo.org

Lake Merritt Boating Center Youth Boating Camps 568 Bellevue Ave. 510.238.2196 www.sailoakland.com

Raskob Learning Institute 3520 Mountain Blvd.

510.436.1275 www.raskobinstitute.org

Kids N’ Dance 3840 Macarthur Blvd.

510.531.4400 www.kidsndance.com

Quarry Lane School - West 4444B Black Ave. 925.462.6300 www.quarrylane.org

ANTIOCH

City of Danville Camps 420 Front St. 925.314.3400 www.danville.ca.gov/Recreation/ Camps

www.ci.antioch.ca.us/Recreation

Four Stars Gymnastics Academy 1799 Vineyard Dr. 925.778.8650

Vision Tech Camps 117 Town & Country Dr. St. B 925.699.9602 www.visiontechcamps.com

Athenian Summer Programs at Athenian School 2100 Mt. Diablo Scenic Blvd 925.837.5375

www.fourstarsgym.com

CONCORD City of Concord Parks and Recreation 925.671.3404

www.athenian.org

www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps

Camp Concord in South Lake Tahoe 1000 Mt. Tallac Trailhead Rd South Lake Tahoe 530.541.1203

Yang Fan Academy 4160 Hacienda Dr. St. 100 925.699.4664

www.ci.concord.ca.us/recreation/ camp

www.yfacademy.org

Backyard Explorers Corner of Babel Ln & Cowell Rd. 925.671.3118

City of Pleasanton Summer Programs 200 Old Bernal Ave. 925.931.3436

DANVILLE

Color Bundles 301 Hartz Ave. #104 925.727.3137 www.colorbundles.com

Camp Brainy Bunch 741 Brookside Dr. 510.548.4800 www.campbrainybunch.com

Quest Therapeutic Camps Charlotte Wood Middle School 600 El Captain Dr. 925.743.2900 www.questcamps.com

www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps/backyardexp.htm

www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us

Expressions Dance & Art 3015 Hopyard Rd. Ste. I 925.200.9908 www.expressions-dance-arts.com/

Young Ivy Academy 5460 Sunol Blvd (#3) 925.548.0188 www.youngivyacademy.com

Inspire Music Academy 2340 Santa Rita Rd. Ste. 7 925.461.3266 www.inspiremusicacademy.com

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 43

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Summer LAFAYETTE California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 1000 Upper Happy Valley Rd 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html

Kids N’ Dance 3369 Mt. Diablo 925.284.7388 www.kidsndance.com

Sienna Ranch 3232 Deer Hill Rd. 925.283.6311 www.siennaranch.net

Sherman Swim School 1075 Carol Ln. 925.283.2100 www.shermanswim.com

www.frenchforfun.com

Lafayette Tennis Club 3125 Camino Diablo 925.937.2582 www.lafayettetennis.com

Husky House for Kids 3855 Happy Valley Rd. 925.283.7100 www.huskyhouseforkids.org/ summer-camp-programs

Lafayette Community Center Camps 500 Saint Mary’s Rd. 925.284.2232 www.lafayetterec.org

Roughing It Day Camp 1010 Oak Hill Rd. 925.283.3795 www.roughingit.com

BandWorks Summer Camp 28 Orinda Way 925.254.2445 www.bandworks.com/summer_ orinda.php

Orinda Academy 19 Altarinda Rd. 925.478.4504

Camp ARF for Kids 2890 Mitchell Dr. 925.256.1273 www.youth.arf.net

City of Walnut Creek Summer Camps 1666 North Main St. 925.943.5899 www.walnut-creek.org

Merriewood Children’s Center 561 Merriewood Dr. 925.284.2121

www.orindaacademy.org

Camp Doodle 66 St. Stephens Dr.

Castle Rock Arabians 1350 Castle Rock Rd. 925.933.3701

www.merriewood.org

www.campdoodles.com

www.castlerockarabians.com

MARTINEZ

PLEASANT HILL

John Muir Mountain Day Camp John Muir National Historic Site 925.680.8807

City of Pleasant Hill Camps 147 Gregory Ln 925.682.0896

Multiple Locations

www.johnmuirassociation.org/ muircamp/index.php

French For Fun 3381 Mt. Diablo Blvd 925.283.9822

ORINDA

Rancho Saguaro 1050 Pereira Rd. 925.788.5200 www.ranchosaguaro.com

MORAGA Gaels Summer Camp 1928 St Mary’s Rd. 925.631.4FUN www.smcgaels.com

Camp Saklan 1678 School St. 925.376.7900

www.pleasanthillrec.com

PITTSBURG City of Pittsburg Parks and Recreation 300 Presido Ln. 925.252.4842 www.ci.pittsburg.ca.us

SAN RAMON City of San Ramon Camps 2226 Camino Ramon 925.973.2500 www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us

Adventure Day Camp Dorris-Eaton School One Annabel Lane 925.937.6500

www.saklan.org/about-us/campsaklan

www.adventuredaycamp.com

OAKLEY

Adventure Day Camp Seven Hills School 975 North San Carlos Dr. 925.937.6500

City of Oakley Parks and Recreation 3231 Main St. 925.625.7044 www.ci.oakley.ca.us

Diamond Hills Sports Club 1510 Neroly Rd. 925.420.4575 www.sparetimeclubs.com

44 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018

WALNUT CREEK

www.adventuredaycamp.com

Lindsay Wildlife Museum Summer Science Camp 1931 First Ave. 925.935.1978 www.wildlife-museum.org

The Growing Room Academy Various locations around the Bay Offers: 3,4 and 5 Day Camps 925.837.4392 www.thegrowingroom.org

Camp Rocks: Girl Scouts of Northern California Offered at 5 locations: San Rafael (Camp Bothin), Santa Cruz (Skylark Ranch), San Jose (Camp Metro Day Camp), North Lake Tahoe (Deer Lake), and the Sierra Nevada Mountains (Sugar Pine) 800.447.4475 ext. 2091 www.camprocks.org

Mad Science Camp Offered at several local Recreation sites and Community Centers 925.687.1900 www.mtdiablo.madscience.org

Steve and Kate’s Camp Danville, Dublin, Fremont, Oakland, Walnut Creek and Berkeley 415.389.5437 www.steveandkatescamp.com

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camps Camp Galileo Alameda, Alamo, Berkeley, San Ramon, Walnut Creek, Fremont, Oakland, Lafayette and Orinda 510.595.7293

Club Sport Fremont, San Ramon, Pleasanton and Walnut Creek 925.938.8700

CYO Summer Camp 2136 Bohemian Hwy Occidental, 95465 707.874.0200

Silver Creek Sportsplex 800 Embedded Way San Jose 408.224.8774

www.clubsports.com

www.camp.cccyo.org

www.gotoplex.com

www.galileo-learning.com

Camp Edmo Alameda, Fremont, and Oakland 415.282.6673

Mountain Camp Woodside 302 Portola Rd. Portola Valley 650.576.2267

www.campedmo.org

www.mountaincampwoodside.com

Children’s Discovery Museum of San Jose 180 Woz Way San Jose 408.298.5437

Kids’ Carpentry Berkeley, Lafayette, Alameda, Oakland, Alamo & Walnut Creek 510.524.9232

Camp Tawonga 131 Steuart Ste. 460 San Francisco 415.543.2267

KinderCare Walnut Creek, Concord, Danville, Martinez and Clayton 888.523.6765 www.kindercare.com/ summercamp

Viva el Espanol!

Lafayette, Piedmont, Pleasanton & San Anselmo 925.962.9177 www.vivaelespanol.org/ summerprograms.php

www.cdm.org

TechKnowHow Kids Dublin, Berkeley, Fremont, Livermore, Oakland & Pleasanton 650.638.0500 www.techknowhowkids.com

www.stratfordschools.com

888.709.8324

Sky hawk’s Sports Camp Various locations around the Bay Area 800.804.3509

Out of Area

Lango Language Summer Camps Serving Alamo, Blackhawk, Brentwood, Briones, Canyon, Clayton, Concord, Danville, Martinez, Moraga, Orinda, Pacheco, Pittsburg, Pleasant Hill, San Ramon, Walnut Creek and surrounding regions 888.445.2646 www.langokids.com/parent/kidslanguage-summer-camps

www.tawonga.org

www.kidscarpentry.com

Stratford School Summer Sports Camp & Enrichment Danville, Fremont, Los Gatos, Morgan Hill and Pleasanton 925.737.0001

www.skyhawks.com

College For Kids 1700 W. Hillsdale Blvd.

San Mateo 650.574.6149

iD Tech Camp Moraga, Concord, Livermore, Berkeley and other Bay Area locations www.idtech.com

www.collegeforkids-smccd.com

SF Zoo Camp Sloat Blvd. & the Great Highway San Francisco 415.753.7080 www.sfzoo.org

School of Rock Summer Camp 711 South B St. San Mateo, San Jose & Palo Alto 650.347.3474

Almaden Equestrian Center 20100 Almaden Rd. San Jose 408.927.0232 www.almadenequestriancenter.net

www.schoolofrock.com

Kennolyn Camps 8205 Glen Haven Rd. Soquel 831.479.6714 www.kennolyncamps.com

Golden Arrow Camps 644 Pollasky Avenue, Ste. 100 Clovis, 93612 800.554.CAMP www.goldarrowcamp.com

Coppercreek Camp 1887 Williams Valley Rd. Greenville, 95947 800.350.0006 www.coppercreek.com

Camp Unalayee 3921 East Bayshore Rd. Palo Alto 650.969.6313 www.unalayee-summer-camp.com

MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 45

Walnut Creek traditional summer camp experience AA Traditional Summer Camp

925.937.6500

•

San Ramon & Alamo

Adventuredaycamp.com

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camp Spotlight CAMP CONCORD IN SOUTH LAKE TAHOE Family Camp at Camp Concord is a great opportunity for parents and kids to unplug and experience nature together. Truly a vacation for everyone - families can participate in our organized camp activities, or strike out on their own. Located in beautiful South Lake Tahoe.

SIENNA RANCH

To register:

Sienna Ranch offers a cornucopia of programming, geared primarily toward participants ages 4-14.This year promises to be another exciting summer at the Ranch, filled with all your favorite animals, secret, magical places like the Tree Fort, Tire Tunnel, and the Buckeye tree. Farm life, nature, equestrian and more.

www.cityofconcord.org

assisting local preschools, practicing environmental stewardship, and fostering your inner leader. Register for our one-week sessions today!

To register: www.cdm.org/sos

THE GROWING ROOM SUMMER CAMP Summer Camp at the Growing Room has it all! Enrichment classes focusing on STEAM, Sports & Fitness, Dance, Culture & Language, Cooking, Computer Programming and MORE! Call them today to register or learn about their program.

To register: www.thegrowingroom.org/summercamps

To register: www.siennaranch.net

CHILDREN’S DISCOVERY MUSEUM OF SAN JOSE Join us for Summer of Service, our nationally recognized summer program for grades 7 to 10. Pick up some community service hours facilitating museum activities, producing multimedia presentations, MAY 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 47

SERVICES

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SERVICES

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48 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | MAY 2018