Active Family Magazine - June 2018

JUNE 2018

What If You've Made Mistakes As a Parent?

FATHER'S DAY GIFT GUIDE

10 PARENTING TIPS

To Preserve Summer Sanity

Volume 5 / Issue 53 Summer Sleepovers or Camp

[ PARENTING ] What If You’ve Made Mistakes As a Parent?

24

6

Food Fast without Fast Food

10 Parenting Tips To Preserve Summer Sanity

10

[ SEASONAL FUN ] Father’s Day Gift Guide

20

28

[ TRAVEL ]

[ EVENTS ]

8

Restaurant Spotlight: Lahaina Grill

June Calendar

How Do I Let My Sh*t Go?

16

14

[ WOMENS HEALTH ]

Santa Barbara Getaway

26

5 Ways To Banish The Belief That You’re Not Good Enough

Preschool Matters

22

18

Easing Kid Homesickness for

8 2 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

16

26

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Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area

Publisher/Editor

Marketing Interns

Contributing Authors

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Candace Warren Megan Shackley

Dr. Laura Markham George Sachs, Psy.D. Amy Morin Joree Rosse Dr. Michele Borba Dan Taylor, ACE, NASM-CPT Elizabeth Kang The Growing Room

Advertising Sales Director Kathy Brillheart kbrillheart@activefamilymag.com

Travel Editor Elizabeth Kang ekang@activefamilymag.com

Fashion Editor Rachel Fawkes www.fawkeshunter.com

Design/Production Teresa Agnew Craft

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709 Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note Hello to the lazy days of summer, spending relaxing, stress-free, peaceful, quality time together. Sound too good to be true? Yes, the kids will undoubtedly start to exclaim that they are bored, siblings will start to bicker, the incessant whining and complaining is sure to ensue, but hopefully the sound advice offered in this issue will help! Turn to page 10 to find 10 strategies to help keep your summer enjoyable, all the while keeping your sanity in-tact. Looking to keep the kids busy, check out the numerous Summer Camp options found on our website. If all else fails, pack the suitcase and plan an adventure! Find inspiration under our TRAVEL tab at www.activefamilymag.com.

With Father’s Day just around the corner, flip to page 20 and find a plethora of ways to spoil and honor the important man in your life. Check out our Calendar of Events on page 16 to find the perfect Father’s Day excursion.

Happy Summer!

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

See the planetarium show

...that dives deeper.

Hope for Corals in a Changing World

Embark on a journey into the hidden world of coral reefs in a new, deep-diving planetarium show. Discover how corals breathe, what threats they face, and why the time to protect them is now.

Get tickets at calacademy.org Generously supported by Eric and Wendy Schmidt.

JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 5

[ PARENTING ]

What If You've Made Mistakes As a Parent?

by Dr. Laura Markham Dr Laura....I only found Aha! Parenting a month ago. Already things have improved so much with my kids and I no longer act like a crazy person when I get frustrated with them. But I keep wondering if I have messed my children up forever...."

Have you made mistakes as a parent? Join the club. The bad news is that you're human, like all parents. So we all fall short.

The good news is, it is never too late to heal things with your child. The older your child is, the harder it will be, because kids develop emotional armor and they lash out to keep you from getting too close. But secretly, they desperately want your love.

The even better news is, your child does not need perfect parents. In fact, if your child sees you as perfect, he'll feel worse about himself, since he knows that he's not. What your child needs from you is a model of how to be a gracious human. That means admitting when you've been wrong. Being willing to grow. Giving yourself support to do better. Working hard to regulate your own emotions instead of acting like a crazy person, no matter what your child does.

Not so easy, right? That's why loving your child unconditionally starts with loving yourself unconditionally.

I'm not excusing parents harming their children. I'm pointing out that you can't simultaneously feel bad about what you've done, and feel good enough to do better. (Just like your child.) We all make mistakes. But if you use your past mistakes to guide you toward a better way in the future, that's called a learning experience, not a mistake. Really. We're all doing the best we can with whatever we know at the time.

Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone.

You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.

6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

Luckily, children are resilient. Your child may need to do some crying about those times when she felt so alone in the face of your anger. But whatever is happening in your relationship with your child, whatever mistakes you've made, however ugly your child is acting, however ugly you've acted -- it is never too late. You can always transform your relationship with your child into a happier, closer, connection. Here's how.

1. Lighten Up. Most of our upsets with our kids stem from our own fear. (What if he NEVER learns? What if she gets in big trouble and ruins her life? What if I've damaged him forever?) But fear never helps us make good decisions. You can always choose a new course now and start moving in a better direction. And the truth

[ PARENTING ] is, most issues with kids are developmental, meaning

just until you calm down) and BREATHE. Then, ask for a

that as the brain matures, the child matures. So lighten

Do-Over: "I'm sorry I was starting to yell. Let's try a do-

up, give yourself some compassion, and trust that your

over. I'm worried that we're running out of time here, and

child will be ok. Just say to yourself, "He's getting better

I need you to do _________ now. How can we all work

parenting than I did, and I came out ok."

together to make this easy?"

2. Make self-regulation your highest priority.

5. Enjoy your child.

If you can stay centered and pay attention, you can

Often we're so busy managing our children that we

respond with love and creativity to whatever's going on

forget what kids really need. Children need us to enjoy

with your child. It's inevitable that sometimes you'll find

them. That's how they learn they're of value!

yourself off-track. Take a deep breath, apologize, suggest

That's also how they learn what joy is, what makes life

a "Do Over" and try again. (That's fantastic modeling for

worth living. So resist the lure of your screens to sit on the

your child!)

3. Focus on connecting with your child, which means start where he is.

The healing comes when your child is able to show you all those hurt feelings from the past. If he's in a place that hurts, he'll be acting ugly. Summon up your patience and your courage and go in there after him. Let him express how upset he is about what's happened in the past.

If you can keep yourself calm and compassionate, your child will start to soften. Before you know it, the hurt will surface. Acknowledge and apologize: "I am so sorry that happened....I didn't understand how much that hurt your feelings....That must have made you feel alone and scared.... I never want you to feel that way....I am always here for you and I love you so much." This is how he heals from what's happened in the past. It isn't easy--for either of you--but it won't go on forever. Don't take it personally.

Don't try to teach him any lessons until he feels better.

Don't get lost in the dark in there with him. You're the one

couch whenever possible, and focus on the invisible tasks of parenting. That's what heals your relationship with your child. Empathizing....Giggling together ....

Healing hurt feelings...Tummy time with the baby ...

Floor time with the toddler...Bedtime snuggles with the elementary schooler...Couch time with the tween...Walks with the teen...Family game night...Helping children think about the world and explore their emerging passions... Supporting kids to solve their own problems...

Pillow fights...Star-gazing...Listening.... Lighting candles ...

Connecting.

So show up, and lighten up. Let the past go. Accept your child's hurt. Connect now. You don't have to have all the answers. You don't have to fix your child or the situation.

All you have to do is stay present and try to choose love instead of fear. Your child doesn't even need the red cup, or whatever she's crying for. She needs your loving acceptance of her, complete with all her tangled up

who's supposed to have the candle, remember? Bring

feelings. Her disappointment, rage, and grief? They're

your child back into connection with you, and he'll be a

all ok, part of a rich emotional life, and they will all pass

whole different kid.

without you doing a thing. Just love her--and yourself-through it. Unconditionally.

4. Focus on repair, not blame.

It wouldn't be good for your child to have perfect

"Understanding alone cannot prevent disrupted

parents, because then she'd never see you role-

connections from occurring. Some will inevitably

modeling self-forgiveness and repair. Use the inevitable

happen. The challenge we all share is to embrace our

little rifts of life as opportunities to get closer and make

humanity with humor and patience so that we can in

things better. To do that, you have to be willing to

turn relate to our children with openness and kindness.

summon up your humility and humor and apologize,

To continually chastise ourselves for our "errors" with our

sometimes often. When you find yourself on the wrong

children keeps us involved in our own emotional issues

path, STOP (what you're doing), DROP (your agenda,

and out of relationship with our children." -- Dan Siegel JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 7

[ TRAVEL ]

RESTAURANT SPOTLIGHT: Lahaina Grill, Maui, HI While we often highlight places to eat in our featured travel stories, it’s not often we dedicate an entire article to one restaurant. But once in a while we are fortunate enough to visit truly exceptional eateries on our media travels, and Maui’s Lahaina Grill stood out by a landslide. So much so, that we felt compelled to share this historic restaurant’s story, along with some drool-worthy pictures of its award-winning cuisine.

History Opened in 1990, Lahaina Grill began as a modest 55-seat bistro, then named “Front Street.” After building a loyal following, the restaurant expanded, doubling its size and becoming the first indoor smoke-free restaurant in Hawaii. In 1996, Lahaina Grill found itself again bursting at capacity, and expanded to include an in-house bakery, chef’s table, and an additional 34 dining seats.

Now at 155 seats, the restaurant is still filled nightly, so reservations are highly recommended. The gorgeous interior of this elegant downtown restaurant is decorated in soft, muted colors that highlight the eyecatching, bright and colorful artwork 8 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

by Maui’s own Jan Kasprzycki, which is hung throughout. The romantic tabletops are set nightly with fine china, crystal and candlelight, making it the perfect date-night or special occasion spot to enjoy a truly delicious, memorable and beautifully presented meal.

Cuisine Open for dinner only, Lahaina Grill serves contemporary, upscale cuisine in a gorgeous, serene setting.

The restaurant features interesting, unique twists on classic flavors, and serves innovative dishes using fresh, seasonal and local products. Some can’t-miss items on the menu include the popular “Kona Coffee Roasted Colorado Rack of Lamb,” served with a light coffee-cabernet deme-glacé and herbed mashed potatoes, and the “Maui Onion and Sesame Seed Crusted Seared Ahi,” served with a Tahitian vanilla jasmine rice and apple cider butter vinaigrette.

The “Surf and Turf,” featuring a 7oz center cut beef filet mignon and broiled half lobster served with truffle champagne beurré-blanc is a wonderfully decadent and celebratory dish.

On the appetizer menu, baked escargot is served not only with the usual butter and herbs, but also a light curry scented sauce, giving the French classic a delicious and innovative Asian twist. A classic and refreshing ahi poke, decadent

wagyu beef ravioli, and crispy shrimp shanghai spring rolls can also be found under appetizers.

Using Maui’s famously sweet onions, the chef makes a local rendition of French Onion Soup, and a variety of fresh and crisp starter salads are offered as a first course. Along with locally sourced meats and seafoods, vegetarian dishes are also offered, along with fresh-from-the-farm sides such as potato-celery root mash and

[ TRAVEL ]

roasted sweet corn.

The “Triple Berry Pie” is Lahaina Grill’s signature dessert, and definitely worth saving room for. But if you’re having trouble deciding between something chocolate or fruity, go with the sampler dessert platter, which offers miniature selections of the restaurant’s most popular desserts. Wine pairings are available with all dessert selections, as well.

named “Restaurant of the Year” at the 2018 ‘Aipono Awards,’ along with being named as having the “Best Service” and “Best Wine list.” In 2016, Yelp declared the restaurant as one of the “top 100 places to eat in the U.S.” and Trip Advisor named it one of the top 25 places to eat in the U.S. three-years-in-a-row.

Along with a fun and innovative cocktail menu and extensive wine list, Lahaina Grill serves craft beer and non-alcoholic cocktails. There are also Japanese and Korean language menus offered, as well.

Accolades As the restaurant and cuisine evolved, Lahaina Grill began to receive awards and recognition, and is now named one of the top restaurants in Hawaii. The restaurant first received serious recognition after Maui’s well-known restaurant critic at the time, Mimi Sheraton, gave the eatery a prestigious three-star rating, declaring it a ‘traveler’s must’ in the February 1993 issue of Condè Nast Traveler Magazine. Since then, the awards have been stacking up, and most recently Lahaina Grill was

Chef/Owner Lahaina Grill’s chef and owner, Jurg Munch, traded the Swiss Alps for Palm Trees when he and his wife settled in Maui after traveling the world and falling in love with the aloha spirit. Jurg, who was born in Switzerland and spent many years cooking in both Switzerland and Asia, honed his craft and developed a love for Asian cuisine at the famous Mandarin Oriental Hotel, where he became Executive Sous Chef in 1986.

After gaining world-wide recognition and further developing his love for

cooking, he and his wife took time off to travel and found themselves smitten with Maui’s culture, spirit, and local-ingredient-focused cuisine. And so, in 1999, Jurg and his wife became the proud owners of Lahaina Grill, and have continued to pour their heart and soul into the restaurant for 18 years.

Executive Chef Lahaina Grill’s Executive Chef, Arnulfo Gonzales, truly embodies the American spirit of hard work and fulfilling a dream. Arnie, who was born in Tepatitlan, Jalisco (Mexico) began cooking at the age of 13, when he began experimenting with American-style cuisine while living in Los Angeles. After moving to Maui eight years later, he started working at Lahaina Grill as an apprentice, and diligently worked his way up the kitchen ladder to lead cook, then Sous Chef, and finally, Executive Chef. He proudly celebrates 26 years at Lahaina Grill.

Be sure to visit Lahaina Grill on your next Maui vacation and say ‘aloha’ to Jurg and his crew. Your meal there will be a memorable experience and likely turn into a tradition you’ll look forward to every time you visit the islands.

JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9

[ PARENTING ] Dr. Sachs is a child-psychologist licensed child psychologist and adult psychologist, specializing in the treatment of ADD/ADHD and Autism Spectrum Disorders in children, teens and adults. Dr. Sachs did his clinical training in Chicago at Cook County Hospital, Mt. Sinai Hospital and the Child Study Center. He completed his internship and post doctoral work at the Children’s Institute in Los Angeles, where he supervised and trained therapists in TraumaFocused Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (TFCBT). George Sachs is a Gestalt trained therapist, certified by the Gestalt Associates Training program of Los Angeles. Dr. Sachs consulted to Juilliard in New York City, providing counseling to their dance, drama, and orchestral students. Dr. Sachs is author of Helping the Traumatized Child and of the upcoming book: “Helping Your Husband with Adult ADD.” Dr. Sachs has appeared on NBC Nightly News, CBS, WPIX and other major media outlets, discussing his unique holistic approach to ADD/ ADHD treatment. Dr. Sachs also writes for the Huffington Post. Dr. Sachs is a member of the American Psychological Association and the New York State Psychological Association.

10 Parenting Tips To Preserve Summer Sanity

by George Sachs, Psy.D. You fall for it every year. You get so caught up in your kid’s excitement. You count down the days with them, buy them shorts and tank tops, and load up on freezer pops and sunscreen. And foolishly, foolishly you believe that somehow their summer fun has something to do with your chance to relax.

Silly mommy. Dear, unsuspecting daddy.

Oh, the first month is all right. It’s all tanning and pool parties, volleyball and board games, and trips to playgrounds and amusement parks.You take scrapbook pictures of romps through the sprinklers. Hang out at the mall.

Maybe you’re lucky enough to actually get out of town for a while.

But weeks after the last day of school, soon after the fourth of July, you realize you’re far from relaxed.

You’re still ridiculously busy. Still busy driving, still packing lunches. Still planning, still packing the car. Still breaking up fights and refilling the fridge. Still hosting playdates and impromptu sleepovers... everyday.

Still, it’s summer, right? It’s fun.

So you plaster on your “cool parent,” summer face and keep trying to do it all.

Without the seven to nine hour daily break... called school.

10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

[ PARENTING ] Silly mommy. Oh, daddy. You fall for it every year.

floors, smelly laundry, and piles of sticky dishes.

If you’re starting to take offense when you hear the inevitable “I’m bored,” it sounds like you could use a little help getting your own needs met. If your eye drifts to the calendar on the wall, and your own mental countdown has begun, it’s definitely time to remove your kids from the center of your universe and get back in there...

If peace for you is a tidy home, good self-care means making sure your family helps keep it clean. Don’t be afraid to divide the chores with your family members and journal while someone else runs the vacuum.

Self-care to the rescue. Summer excitement doesn’t have to fade so soon. The dream of summer vacation relaxation is completely possible for parents who have a few self care strategies like these to use:

Ensure cooperation with praise and appreciation ice cream. Whatever works. Do away with dishes and kitchen cleanup as much as possible. Summer is for outdoor dining and recycling paper plates, and plasticware.

5. Bring back the books.

1. Be fine with an “okay” summer.

Don’t promise your kids “the best summer ever.” It’s too much pressure and it’s really not your primary job. Feed them, clothe them. Enjoy your time together. But put the burden on them to make most of the fun stuff happen.

You don’t have to make all of their Disney designed summer dreams come true.

Resist the urge to “fix” their boredom. You’ll be amazed at what they come up with while you’re giving them thumbs up from your shady spot on the patio.

2. Unplug. Just say “no” to social media summer envy.

Long ago, kids wrote reports titled, “What I did over summer vacation.” Mostly because nobody knew.

Keep social media society guessing. Forgo Facebook for real-time fun and fill people in later. In the meantime, don’t compare yourself to all those posts, tweets, and Instagram pics of other parents who look like their doing summer better. Who needs the stress?

3. Call it a “school night.” It’s easy to let summer become an unscheduled free for all.

Bring back bedtime. Who cares if it doesn’t get dark til 9:00 p.m.? Invest in room darkening shades, put the little ones to bed at 8:00, and relax until you hear the cartoons come on at dawn.

4. Chores: Delegate and eliminate.

From the moment your kids dropped those backpacks at the door, you’ve probably been trying to manage dusty

When the firecrackers go silent and the dog days of summer loom ahead, a good book comes in handy. Take your crew to the library and help them find some reading material for a daily bit of mandatory quiet time.

Let your kids know that 20 to 30 minutes during the day will be spent in their rooms, simply taking a break from you, each other, and all things electronic. It’s a great way to get a little peace and quiet, encourage reading, and let yourself off the hook for constantly trying to keep kids busy.

6. Stop and plant some roses, or squash, or peas.

Spend sometime in the garden. Play in the dirt. There’s something about it. Nurturing nature and watching it respond to your care (without tears or back talk) is calming and inviting. If you don’t have a patch of land of your own, a community garden could be a worthy getaway.

7. Finish something.

Nothing feels as good as checking off those lagging projects you just can’t seem to make time for when school’s in session. Find 15 minutes a day to tackle your task, before carpools, volunteering, work commitments, and (gasp) the holidays begin to take over again.

8. Take a hike, ride a bike, downward dog.

How many times have you shooed your kids away from the tv, computer, and the fridge? The same goes for you. Thirty minutes spent on a walk or ride around the neighborhood will do your mental state a world of good.

Work out to your favorite jams while the kids are playing.

JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11

[ PARENTING ] Chase them around the block. Enlist your partner or a

child’s playmate’s mom snatched the pool bag out of

friend to watch them a few times a week while you take

trunk. Or by the irritated way the dad two doors down

extra long jog. A little summertime sweat will invigorate

stabbed the straw into one of those leaky pouch drinks

you... and workout a crabby attitude.

his kids are squirting all over his porch.

9. Take back the night.

Why not help each other? Volunteer to take all the kids to the pool on Monday if that mom will watch the kids on

Summer days with the kids are fun. But you and your

Thursday while you make time to daydream on a blanket

partner need time to reconnect on your own. Call grandma, your best friend, a sitter—who ever answers the phone first wins. Just go.

in the back yard. Let that grumpy dad know his kiddos can drip all over your grass, if he wouldn’t mind letting your kids shoot hoops for an hour in his front yard later.

No partner? No problem. Night time is the right time for catching up with friends, a late night movie marathon, or appetizers on the patio. At their house.

Cooperative self-care costs less than a sitter and gives you all just enough down time to keep your whole village happy.

Just go.

Self-care is good. Don’t do summer without it. It’s a 10. Neighborhood Watch (My Kids).

summertime survival necessity that reminds you, and your

You are not alone. The other parents on your street feel

kids, that the center of your little family universe includes

the summer thrill fading too. You can tell by the way your

you too.

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12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

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[ PARENTING ]

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JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13

[ PARENTING ]

Joree Rose has a Masters in Counseling Psychology, is a licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and is the founder of the Bay Area Mindfulness and Therapy Center, in Danville. Joree specializes in working with individuals/ couples experiencing struggles in personal growth, life transitions, parenting, divorce as well as stress and anxiety. Her passion lies in guiding others in the cultivation of a mindfulness practice, which has been scientifically proven to increase our health and happiness, from the inside out. Joree also is the author of two mindfulness books for kids (Squirmy Learns to be Mindful, and Mindfulness, It’s Elementary) and is the creator of original curriculum for mindfulness classes for kids, teens, and adults, which she offers regularly, as well as weekly meditation classes, at her office. She can be found at www.mindfulnessandtherapycenter. com or contacted at 925.212.2996

How Do I Let My Sh*t Go??

by Joree Rosse What are you holding on to, that is no longer serving you, but you aren’t able to let go of? It is so easy to get stuck in habits and patterns that keep you held to the past, mistakes, shame, old relationships, or stories that no longer apply.

There are many reasons that we hold on, even though we know it’s in our best interest to let it go. But even when you are ready to let it go, many people ask, “But, how do I let my sh*t go???”

Well, this is far from a complete list, but it is a good start…

1. Be in the present moment. Your mind is going to wander to the past and to the future, both of which will increase anxiety and depression. If you are stuck in the past, you are likely to be ruminating; if you are in the future you are likely feeling

14 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

[ PARENTING ] anxious over what you can’t control. Your best bet –

towards that intention, rather than focus on where you

focus on the present moment. Use your breath as a tool

still need to get to.

to continuously draw you into the here and now.

7. Practice forgiveness. If you are angry at someone, 2. Recognize what you can change, and what you can’t.

likely your continued anger is not going to change their

It’s like the serenity prayer…recognize what you can and

behavior. But letting go of your anger can change you.

can not change, and the wisdom to know the difference.

People often have a hard time with forgiveness because

You can only control two things: your breath, and your

they don’t want to feel like they were allowing the

responses (or reactions) to others or situations. You can

negative behavior, but holding on to it, only increases

begin to create new habits and patterns of responding

your own suffering.

when you notice yourself getting triggered.

8. Ask yourself how staying stuck in your story is serving 3. Practice self-compassion. In my book, the opposite of

you? It could be that holding on gives you an identity. I

judgment is self-compassion. For so many people, their

like to ask the question, “Who would you be without your

inner critic is awfully loud, talking to them in a tone and

story?”

manner that you wouldn’t talk to an enemy! Practicing self-compassion is increasing your friendliness to yourself,

9. Meditation. During meditation, you are increasing

becoming your own best friend, talking to yourself in a

space between your thoughts, emotions, sensations

tone and manner that you would someone you love, and

and practicing having a more skillful response to them.

acknowledging “this is hard.”

When you notice the thoughts or emotions come in, you can give them room to exist and then intentionally

4. Naming what is arising. I know it seems easier said than

shift your mind’s attention into a place that is serving

done, but naming (either aloud, or in your mind) how

you – into your breath, your body, your senses, gratitude,

feel slows your emotional reaction in your brain. Name

compassion, lovingkindness…With practice it does get

the emotion or thought and say to yourself, “Oh look, I’m

easier!

thinking about ___________ again. There it is…this is what _____________ (sadness, fear, loneliness, anger…you fill

10. Mindfulness. Mindfulness is the combination of

in the blank) feels like.” It’s overly simplified, I know – but

being in the present moment, while allowing whatever

just try it. Naming it helps to create space and in that

is arising to exist, without judging it. This open monitoring

space you have the freedom to choose your response.

of allowing what is arising gets easier when practicing meditation, and over time, these tools to rewire the brain

5. Acknowledge how hard it is to let go. Simply noticing

towards new neural pathways become more second

the challenge can help to free you up from it. Habits

nature.

and patterns can be hard to break, but with awareness, attention, and intention, anything is possible. And

Letting go can be one of the hardest things to do. And

change can exist from small baby steps; it doesn’t have

yet not letting go keeps us shackled to the past in pain

to be big significant changes.

and discomfort.

6. Honor the small things. Try not to get stuck on what

“To let go does not mean to get rid of. To let go means

you haven’t done, but honor what you have. Letting go

to let be. When we let be with compassion, things come

can take time, so be proud of what you’re doing to work

and go on their own.” –Jack Kornfield JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15

[ EVENTS ]

June Alameda County JUNE 1 Retroactive at Concert in the Park Downtown Pleasanton Pleasanton 7:00- 8:30pm www.pleasantondowntown.net/ event/details/444

JUNE 2 Got Milk Exhibit Dublin Heritage Park & Museums Dublin 1- 4pm www.ci.dublin.ca.us/Calendar. aspx?EID=3887&month=6&yea r=2018&day=1&calType=0 Hands-on History Day Dublin Heritage Park & Museums Dublin 1:30- 3:30pm www.ci.dublin.ca.us/Calendar. aspx?EID=3904&month=6&yea r=2018&day=2&calType=0

JUNE 3

Zoovie Nights Oakland Zoo Oakland 6:30- 9:00pm www.oaklandzoo.org/programsand-events/zoovie-nights

JUNE 9 Second Saturday’s Jack London Square Oakland 11am- 5pm www.jacklondonsquare.com Baby Café Melrose Branch Oakland 10:15- 11:45am www.oaklandlibrary.org/ events/melrose-branch/babycafe

JUNE 11 Open Mic Night Pleasanton Library Pleasanton 6- 8pm www.cityofpleasantonca.gov/ cals/default.asp

JUNE 13

Reading Takes You Everywhere Pleasanton Library Pleasanton www.cityofpleasantonca.gov/ cals/default.asp

Wee Play Veterans Memorial Alameda 10am- 1pm www.alamedaca.gov/ recreation/wee-play

JUNE 7

JUNE 15

Turning the Wheels Pleasanton Library Pleasanton www.cityofpleasantonca.gov/ cals/default.asp

Alameda County Fair Alameda County Fairgrounds Alameda 9:30am- 9:30pm www.alamedacountyfair.com

JUNE 8

JUNE 16

Cooltones at Concert in the Park Downtown Pleasanton Pleasanton 7:00- 8:30pm www.pleasantondowntown.net/ event/details/445

Arroyo Viejo Creek Clean Up Oakland Zoo Oakland www.oaklandzoo.org/programsand-events/arroyo-viejo-creekclean-up

16 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

World Giraffe Day Oakland Zoo Oakland www.oaklandzoo.org/programsand-events/world-giraffe-day

JUNE 17 Fabulous Fathers Crab Cove Visitor Center Alameda 10:00- 11:30am www.ebparks.org/cals Father’s Day Adventure: Fire Making Garin Visitor Center Regional Park Alameda 10:00am- 12:00pm www.ebparks.org/cals The Music of Grateful Dead for Kids- Father’s Day The UC Theatre Berkeley 11am www.theuctheatre.org/ event/1694122-music-gratefuldead-for-kids-berkeley/?utm_ source=rrph&utm_ medium=fbPromo&utm_ campaign=rrphBerkeley

JUNE 18 Summer Zoo Camp Oakland Zoo Oakland 9am www.oaklandzoo.org/summerzoocamp

JUNE 19 Readers’ Roundtable Dublin Library Dublin 2:00- 3:00pm www.ci.dublin.ca.us/Calendar. aspx?EID=3636&month=6&yea r=2018&day=19&calType=0

JUNE 23 Walk in the Wild Oakland Zoo Oakland 4pm www.oaklandzoo.org/programsand-events/walk-in-the-wild

JUNE 24 Ride the Rails-Train Rides Ardenwood Historic Farm Ardenwood 10:15- 2:30pm www.ebparks.org/cals/

JUNE 26 Sea Squirts: Seaweed Surprise Crab Cove Visitors Center Alameda 10:30- 11:45am www.ebparks.org/cals/

JUNE 28 Patterson House Tours Ardenwood Historic Farm Ardenwood 1- 3pm www.ebparks.org/cals/

JUNE 30 Campfire Program: Grossology Chabot Regional Park Alameda 8- 9am www.ebparks.org/cals/

Contra Costa County JUNE 1 Rock the Plaza Summer of Love Lafayette Plaza Park Lafayette 6:30pm- 8:30pm www.lafayettechamber.org/wpcontent/uploads/18-May-JuneJuly-Event-Sheet.pdf Jazz Café Stanley Middle School Lamorinda 6- 10pm www.stanleymusic.org/calendar

[ EVENTS ]

June

JUNE 2

JUNE 20

JUNE 29

Night at the Library Lafayette Library Lafayette 6:30pm www.lllcf.org/Night2018 Impressionism Times 2 Moraga Art Gallery Moraga 5- 7pm www.moragaartgallery.com

KIDCHELLA Danville Community Center & Library Danville 11:15am- 2:00pm www.ci.danville.ca.us/Calendar. aspx?EID=316&month=6&year =2018&day=16&calType=0

Outdoor Movies: Sing Central Park Amphitheatre San Ramon 8:30- 10:15pm www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us

JUNE 6 First Wednesday’s Downtown Walnut Creek Walnut Creek 5:30- 8:30pm www.walnutcreekdowntown. com/event/339-walnut-creekfirst-wednesdays

JUNE 9 Downtown History Tour Liberty Bell Plaza Walnut Creek 9:30am- 11:30am www.walnutcreekdowntown. com/event/250-walnut-creekdowntown-history-tour

JUNE 10 Sense & Sensibility Town Hall Theatre Lafayette 2pm www.townhalltheatre.com/ sense-sensibility

JUNE 15 Moonlight Movies Town Green Danville 6:30pm- 8:30pm www.ci.danville.ca.us/Calendar. aspx?EID=268

JUNE 16 Make Your Own Music Forest Home Farms San Ramon 11am- 2pm www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us

Walnut Creek Uncorked Downtown Walnut Creek Walnut Creek 6- 9pm www.walnutcreekdowntown. com/event/330-walnut-creekuncorked

JUNE 30 Victorian Lawn Games Forest Home Farms San Ramon 11am-2pm www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us

JUNE 23 Danville Summerfest Historic Downtown Danville Danville 5:00pm www.ci.danville.ca.us/Calendar. aspx?EID=133&month=6&year =2018&day=16&calType=0 Music in the Park Oak Hill Park Danville 6pm-8pm www.ci.danville.ca.us/Calendar. aspx?EID=299&month=6&year =2018&day=16&calType=0

JUNE 24 Family Camp Out San Ramon Community Park San Ramon 10am www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us

JUNE 27 June Mixer Bradley School of Music Lafayette 5:30- 7:00pm www.lafayettechamber.org/wpcontent/uploads/18-May-JuneJuly-Event-Sheet.pdf

Email info@activefamilymag.com to subscribe to our weekly email blast for more events!

JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 17

[ WOMEN’S HEALTH ]

5 Ways To Banish The Belief That You’re Not Good Enough

by Amy Morin As a therapist, I’ve worked with many high-achieving people who don’t feel worthy of their success. Whether it was a recent college graduate who had landed a high-paying job, or a mature adult who had just received another promotion, all of these people suffer from impostor syndrome.

Impostor syndrome involves feelings of inadequacy and chronic self-doubt, despite evidence to the contrary. No matter how successful these individuals were, they felt like frauds and their beliefs robbed them of mental strength. They thought they just weren’t good enough to compete at a higher level and ultimately, their bad mental habits sabotaged their success.

There was one young entrepreneur in particular whom I worked with whose products were in high demand. Even though he was wildly successful, he attributed his good fortune to good luck. He lived in constant fear that people would find out he wasn’t smart or savvy enough to operate a successful business.

His anxiety kept him from enjoying his accomplishments. And his self-limiting beliefs prevented him from achieving the next level of success.

With help, he was able to change the way he viewed himself. And when his thoughts changed, his behavior changed as well. Once he started believing he was deserving of everything he had achieved, he was able to launch more products and reach new heights of success.

How to Stop Feeling Like an Impostor If you’ve ever felt like you aren’t good enough, you’re not alone. However, if you’re not careful, those feelings can keep you from reaching your greatest potential. The good news is that you can take steps to change your outlook so you can embrace your accomplishments.

Here are five ways to banish the belief that you’re not good enough: Amy Morin is a psychotherapist, psychology instructor, and speaker. Her book 13 Things Mentally Strong People Don’t Do is on sale now. She’s frequently quoted in national media outlets.

She also writes for Forbes and About.com. For more visit AmyMorinLCSW.com *This article originally appeared in forbes.com.

1. Acknowledge Your Strengths You may have received a “lucky break,” but don’t chalk up all of your success to good luck. Acknowledge that you have legitimate talent. Otherwise, you wouldn’t be where you are today.

Write down your accomplishments and your strengths. Read over your list regularly—especially when you’re feeling down. Reminding yourself of your

18 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

[ WOMEN’S HEALTH ] strengths can help chip away at your core belief that you aren’t good enough to be successful.

2. Share Your Passions With Others It’s easy to forget how far you’ve come and how much you’ve learned. Teaching a class, starting a blog, or mentoring another professional can remind you of your accomplishments. Sharing your knowledge can also help you stay passionate about what you’re doing so you don’t burn out.

3. Address Your Self-Doubt When self-doubt creeps in, don’t ignore it—address it.

Respond to harsh self-criticism with something more compassionate. Talk to yourself like a trusted friend and refuse to believe your unrealistic, negative inner monologue.

4. Give Yourself Permission to Play Changing your behavior is instrumental in changing the way you feel. Don’t forget to do the things you love. Give yourself permission to slack off sometimes so you don’t take yourself and your work too seriously. Doing so will help you enjoy the fruits of your labor, which can enable you to see that you deserve all that you’ve earned.

5. Accept Compliments Gracefully TM

People with impostor syndrome too often shrug off kind words from others. They make excuses for their success or minimize their accomplishments. Commit to accepting compliments gracefully by offering a simple “thank you” when others acknowledge your work.

When to Seek Professional Help If despite your best efforts, you continue to feel like an impostor, seek professional help; a trained therapist can help you overcome impostor syndrome. If left unchecked, feeling like a fraud can lead to anxiety and

Coupon not valid with above offer.

depression.

JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Gift Guide

PHONESOAP

BEAN BAG TOSS TRAVEL SET FOOTBALL EDITION

You charge your phone every day, but do you clean your phone as much? Your phone has become a third hand you never wash. PhoneSoap 3 is proud to be the first and only cell phone charger that cleans and sanitizes your phone while it charges. www.phonesoap.com, $59.95

Bean bag toss game for singles or team play. Includes a set of two 18" x 28" boards, six bean bags, and a polyester carrying tote with shoulder strap. Boards provide an open canvas for you to customize. www. picnictime.com, $133.95

ICEMULE CLASSIC

CRAFT BEER FLIGHT

Two-tiered acacia tray with four 4-oz. beer glasses suspended in top shelf, a chalkboard panel, soapstone pencil, and hollowed areas to hold beer caps. www.picnictime.com, $55.95

The ICEMULE Classic is designed to keep your drinks ice-cold for up to 24 hours.

It’s completely waterproof with welded seams and no zippers, which means it even floats. Or, roll it up for easy storage while you contemplate the next excursion. Let the exploration begin, leaving your hands free to enjoy colder beverages than ever before. www.icemulecoolers.com, $59.95.

ENTER TO WIN THESE PRODUCTS!

CANDI

CANDI uses the Qi wireless standard, which delivers up to 10W to your phone.

Close your eyes and drop your phone on CANDI and charge immediately. Stop searching or switching the cable. www.wittidesign. com, $29.99

Go to www.activefamilymag.com or www.facebook.com/activefamilymag for more info!

20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Gift Guide

WEEKENDER TRAVEL KIT

ZUMA COOLER BACKPACK

This cooler/backpack won’t weigh you down when carrying food and gear to your destination.

ThermoGuard insulation to keep food warm or cool for hours and a heat-sealed, water-resistant lining to guard against leaks. Stylish, lightweight and functional, the Zuma is terrific for day trips, hiking, the beach, sporting events, and fishing. www.picnictime.com, $33.95

Blue Bottle was born to travel. In this spirit of wanderlust, Blue Bottle’s Weekender Travel Kit— offered in partnership with Timbuk2—includes a custom Timbuk2 waxed canvas- and leathertrimmed bag and is filled with Blue Bottle Bonmac Travel Dripper, filters, two packets of Blue Bottle Perfectly Ground, two tumblers, and two felt zarfs. www. bluebottlecoffee.com, $95.

WATCHSTAND FOR APPLE WATCH

Charging your Apple Watch should be effortless. Just lay it against the angled cradle.

The Watch's cable connector gently snaps itself onto the back of your Apple Watch and begins charging. That’s it. griffintechnology.com, $29.99

MI IN-EAR HEADPHONE PRO HD

The Mi In-Ear Headphone Pro HD uses a patented, hybrid dual dynamic and balanced armature drivers that delivers music of greater and finer details. With the help of a capacitive divider, there is higher convergence with the bass, resulting in lesser distortion to the music. So now tuning into music feels like listening to a good story that touches the soul. www.mi.com.

ENTER TO WIN THESE PRODUCTS!

Go to www.activefamilymag.com or www.facebook.com/activefamilymag for more info!

JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21

[ PARENTING ]

Preschool Matters

by The Growing Room Decades of educational research regarding the importance of preschool for children can be summed up in one strong message: Children who attend preschool fare better than their non-preschool peers academically, emotionally, and socially. Yes, preschool matters! Preschool education contributes to better long-term educational, social, and even occupational outcomes for participants, persisting well beyond regular school years.

Children need a positive group experience before Kindergarten.

Preschools do what less structured group experiences do not: they teach children how to be thriving students. While music lessons, recreational sports, or gymnastics can be fun for children, they do not offer the same social benefits.

Preschool attendance is the best path to Kindergarten readiness for children. It is also important to note that the academic and social benefits from preschool attendance will benefit them for the rest of their lives. Preschool is an investment in your child’s future.

For most children, preschool will be the first experience separated from the security of their home and parents. Separation can be the cause of anxiety and worry for parents and children. Experienced early childhood educators know how to soothe little one’s (and parent’s) concerns about that big step away from home.

Teachers will make the child feel comfortable and secure. As children settle into the new structured environment, a solid foundation is forming for future schooling.

A parent’s investment in their children’s preschool education is the gift that keeps on giving.

So what developmental strides will your child acquire during their preschool experience? A high quality program will provide the following learning outcomes for your little learner.

Structure Disguised as Fun Parents may question the apparent ease or what appears like an unstructured environment upon their first visit to the preschool classroom. For most programs — that is by design. At the helm of that easy-going atmosphere are educators that are ensuring that your child has a positive learning experience through structured guidance. This structure is virtually invisible to the children. Transitions to activities, social interactions, and free-play are constructed in a manner as to minimize conflicts and maximize positive experiences. Preschool is often the first experience in a structured setting with teachers and groups of children. The opportunities for sharing, listening and following instructions are the foundations for learning that will transpire in the ensuing years.

Learning to Make Choices: Opportunities for Growth Within the relaxed atmosphere, children learn to make choices. This experiment in autonomy is an important one for the child. Children reluctant to chose activities are gently guided toward projects while honoring their interests. Those children eager to make decisions will relish having the freedom to choose! Children learn socially acceptable ways to join other children’s play, which is a critical social skill for school-age children.

22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

[ PARENTING ] Social and Emotional Development In his book, Emotional Intelligence: Why it Can Matter More Than IQ, Daniel Goleman explains how success in relationships, academia, work environments, and even our physical well-being, is based in our ability to label emotions, self-soothe, communicate, and demonstrate empathy. The foundation of emotional intelligence learned in the early years. Kindergarten teachers know that these skills are more indicative of a child’s readiness for Kindergarten than a child who knows their ABC’s and numbers. Those students ready to learn are those who have mastered emotional self-control and good social skills. Preschool is a social laboratory where children learn to navigate social constructs through their interactions with one another. Children learn conflict resolution and how to cooperate and share with fellow students.

Taking Care of Themselves and Others The structure and daily rhythm of the preschool curriculum both teaches and empowers children to take care of themselves. Simple tasks such as hanging up coats, putting away personal belongings in their very own cubby, washing hands, preparing snacks, and caring for classroom pets, teach children independence.

These newly-formed skills are transferred to those around them when children begin helping one another.

The Nurturing of Curiosity and Imagination A quality preschool program will nurture a child’s natural curiosity. It encourages personal exploration and discovery. A skilled teacher can turn a simple event into a memorable learning experience. These experiences organically unfold as children become comfortable in their surroundings. Quality programs also encourage free play, which encourages children to engage their imaginations. They do this by providing “open-ended” toys that encourage building and creativity in play. This imaginative play, whether with a well-stocked kitchen or costume box, plays a critical role in socialization.

As socialization progresses, a child's play transitions from solitary to one-on-one play and eventually to complicated group play.

Accelerated Language and Cognitive Skills Preschools are “language-rich” environments. During the development phase, where a child’s vocabulary grows from 900-2500 words, preschools provide an opportunity to strengthen language skills. New language skills emerge with the introduction of new vocabulary as the children engage in singing, recitations, story time, snack

time, and conversations with teachers. Cognitive skills are also strengthened through hands-on activities that challenge preschoolers to observe, reason, ask questions and apply problem-solving skills.

Accelerated Pre-Math and Literacy Skills Preschool teachers will gently prepare children for the academic demands of Kindergarten. Learning occurs within the context of the preschool curriculum and is not taught as isolated exercises. Teachers will not facilitate learning through flashcards or rote memorization but through age-appropriate sorting or counting games and activities that are meaningful to the children. These activities capture their curiosity and attention. Learning rhythms, poems, or reciting a familiar story encourages active listening, comprehension, and expressive language skills. Group participation also plays a role in the child’s learning.

Motor Skill Development As children actively participate and explore their environment they encounter new physical challenges.

Activities such as threading beads, cutting with scissors, and other guided art activities help develop fine motor skills. Balance, hand-eye coordination, strength, agility, and confidence is gained on the playground.

Kindergarten Readiness Yes, preschool participation is the single best preparatory tool for Kindergarten readiness. It also is an indicator of future academic and (personal success) well beyond elementary education. When considering a child’s readiness for Kindergarten, parent’s concerns about a preschool program may rest solely on the level of academics offered. Conversely, other parents may worry that a preschool curriculum may be too academically focused and not allow a child time for free-play and adequate socialization. A quality preschool program will do both. It educates the “whole” child: emotionally, socially, physically, and academically. As outlined above, the skills acquired through a quality preschool program provides immense advantages for the child that extends well beyond counting and the ABC’s.

And, in terms of true Kindergarten readiness, all of these developmental skills are of equal (or greater) importance.

Investing in a quality preschool education for your child is one of the most important investments you can make as a parent.

JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23

[ PARENTING ]

Easing Kid Homesickness for Summer Sleepovers or Camp

by Dr. Michele Borba Parenting tips to help kids feel more confident away from home sweet home – whether it be a camp, sleepover, or playdate–based on the latest research Mooommm… I want to come home! NOW! But can’t you pleassse pick me up? I hate it here!

I don’t care how much you paid. Come get me now!

Dr. Michele Borba is an internationally recognized expert and author on children, teens, parenting, bullying and moral development. She is an NBC contributor appearing over 100 times on the TODAY show and is the regular parenting expert on Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers. Her work has been featured on Dr. Phil, Dateline, The View, The Doctors, Fox News, The Early Show and CNN and well as in Newsweek, People, Good Housekeeping, Chicago Tribune, U.S. News & World Report, Washington Post, The New York Times and The Globe and Mail.

She was an MSNBC contributor to two televised “Education Nation” specials. Dr. Borba is the awardwinning author of 22 parenting and educational books translated into 14 languages. Titles include: Don’t Give Me That Attitude!, Parents Do Make A Difference, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, and Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me!, No More Misbehavin’, Building Moral Intelligence (cited

by Publishers’ Weekly as “Among the most noteworthy of 2001”), and Esteem Builders used by 1.5 million students worldwide. She writes as the parenting expert for Dr. Oz’s website, as well a daily column for her blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check: www.micheleborba.com Twitter: @micheleborba

24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

Ah the joys of camp …or that weekend with Grandma. Right? And we wanted our kids to come back sooo excited from their first time away from home. I’ll never forget sending my son to camp the first time. I’d combed the brochures to find just the perfect camp (or so I thought). Purchased the world’s best (or so said the store manager) sleeping bag and so-called “camp paraphernalia.”

Said the right goodbyes! thought I did all the right things. He lasted forty-eight hours, before I finally drove to pick him up. We tried again (at his suggestion) the following year, but this time I didn’t focus on the sleeping bag. I put my energy instead on preparing him for that first extended time away so he would feel more secure. And ……success! He loved camp, made new friends, and couldn’t wait to go back again and again and again. If only I’d read the research on homesickness the first time I sent him, but the studies on how parents can prevent homesickness hadn’t been published. Well, finally child development researchers have discovered what we parents can do to help our kids feel more confident away from home sweet home. And just in time.

Summer is usually the time when we send our kids to stay at Grandmas, with their friends, or off to camp. So if you’re getting ready to send your child away from for just the night or for a more extended time, here are some researchbased pointers to help your child–and you–have a fun time and great memories.

Be sure your kid is ready Is your child sleeping in her own bed through the night or is she climbing in with you at two o’clock in the morning? Does she have any problems separating from you when she goes to school, the baby-sitters, or day care? Does your child get along with this kid well enough to spend a whole night together?

Does she feel comfortable with the child’s parents? If not, forget sending her away to that pricey two-week camp. Chances are she won’t make it through day one.

A survey conducted by Sesame Street found that most parents say children are old enough to spend the night at around the age of seven. Do keep in mind that the age is not set in stone: it all depends on the child and you are the one who knows your child best.

[ PARENTING ] Do a practice run

Be cheerful and optimistic as you pack and get ready to

For a reluctant child, have the first sleepover be at your

go. Do wait until your child looks settled. Give her a big

home. It sometimes helps if your child uses the same

hug and kiss. Then leave. But researchers stress to curb

“security items” (for a real sleepover at your home first. Or

homesickness: “Do not linger.”

try having your child spend the night with Grandma and Grandpa or a special cousin.

Breathe when the phone call comes Homesickness is normal. It is far more prevalent with

Find a buddy

younger kids and those who have never been away

Any buddy!!! Research says kids always feel more secure

from home. It is also common with college-aged kids.

away from home if they know at least one other child. It

So don’t go thinking your child is not adjusted if you get

could be a child she knows from her hometown (and she

that “MOMM!!! I hate it here!” call. Instead, listen. Just

doesn’t have to be best friends with the kid), or ask the

listen. Telling her to get over it, or it will get better, doesn’t

camp counselor to give you an email address or phone

seem to work (says the research again). Don’t promise

number of a similar-aged child as yours. Maybe they can

you’ll call her 50 times a day either. Bad move again

connect before you drop her off.

say researchers. You can tell her to call again tomorrow.

Listen to the tone in her voice. Talk to the camp

Pack a few “security items”

counselor (without her knowing). And then make your

A few packed items can make even the most anxious kid

decision (can she wait it out – or it is better to pick her up)

more comfortable. For instance: a flashlight if she fears

based on your child.

the dark or staying in a strange house; a granola bar or sandwich (in case they “hate” the meal); a sleeping

Downplay failure

bag with a rubber sheet tucked inside might help a bed

So what if your kid doesn’t make it all through the night?

wetter feel more comfortable just in case he has an

If you want this to work in the long run, emphasize the

accident; their own pillow or blanket; even a cell phone

positive accomplishment.“You stayed there two hours

for reassurance that she can call you anytime if really

past your bedtime. That was much longer than last time.”

needed. Think of what might make your child feel safer.

“It’s not a big deal. You’ll have lots of opportunities to

Better yet, have your child think up what he needs to feel

spend the night at friends’ houses again.” There’s always

more at home.

next year!

Meet the counselors or parents

Tips to Help Kids Be Away from Home With Confidence

No matter how old your child is, do meet the camp

Whenever your child is invited to be an overnight guest

counselors or parents face to face. You want to be sure

at someone’s house, you’ll to find out the answers to

they will be supervising the whole night, have your phone

these questions to make sure he feels comfortable about

number handy, and clarify that if there are any problems

being there.

you want to be called.

1. Time frame. What time should I arrive and when will I “Show off” the cool activities Other than finding one buddy to “hang with” the next thing researchers say what alleviates homesickness is involvement in an activity (tennis, crafts, kayaking, swimming, beading…anything). If you can get your child

be leaving?

2. Supplies. What should I bring? Should I bring my own sleeping bag? Do I need any special clothing?

3. Other kids. Will there be other kids staying over night? If so, who? What adults will be around?

excited about one activity he will be more likely to feel a

4. Activities. What will we be doing? Is there a plan?

little more comfortable. And he’ll have something to look

5. Eating. What will we do for food? Should I eat before I

forward to doing.

come over or will there be dinner, snacks, breakfast?

6. Special concerns. Do you have any pets? Where does

Have a positive send-off

the dog sleep? Is anyone else a vegetarian?

JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25

[ TRAVEL ]

little of it all, and my only regret is that I didn’t have a few more days to spend doing more of the same.

STAY I choose hotels based not only on their amenities and price, but also, largely, on their location. So when I booked my recent trip to Santa Barbara, I made reservations at the Kimpton Canary Hotel. This lovely Spanish-style hotel sits smack-dab in the middle of the action — right off State Street, in the heart of downtown.

It’s walking distance to plenty of shopping and restaurants, and a quick bus or Uber ride to the beach, zoo, or ferry.

The Kimpton Canary is a gorgeous pet-friendly hotel With its stunning, ubiquitous Spanish-style architecture,

with a fabulous rooftop pool, hot tub and fireplace.

temperate year-round weather and laid-back college-

On the rooftop pool, mini citrus trees and bold hues of

town vibe, Santa Barbara is a city that should be

yellow and blue set the Spanish/Mediterranean tone,

on every person's bucket list. It offers something for

while sweeping views of Santa Barbara take your breath

everyone, so it’s the perfect destination for a family

away. I could have easily spent all my time lounging

beach trip, girls’ shopping weekend, or couple’s

there. Thankfully, the rooms are just as pretty, with four-

romantic getaway. On my recent trip I tried to jam in a

post canopy beds and rich wood furniture mixed with crisp white decor.

Along with great perks such as complimentary bikes to explore town, free access to the nearby Gold’s Gym, and an evening wine hour, Kimpton Canary offers a stylish and delicious onsite restaurant that’s open for breakfast, lunch and dinner. (Room service and poolside service is also available.)

EAT Located inside the Kimpton Canary, Finch & Fork serves contemporary American cuisine and fun, innovative cocktails in a stylish, modern atmosphere. On the lunch 26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

[ TRAVEL ]

menu, the “Buttermilk Fried Chicken Sandwich” with

excursions in order to enjoy some relaxing pool time. We

kale slaw and smoked honey mustard was unforgettably

decided to hop on a city bus in the morning and take

good. On the lighter side, my “Build Your own Salad” was

a ten-minute ride to the charming Santa Barbara Zoo,

equally tasty, topped with perfectly grilled skirt steak.

which is perfect for a few hour’s distraction.

During Happy Hour, we took a break from the pool to enjoy $2 West Coast oysters with apple mignonette, $8

If we had a whole extra day, however, I would have

“S&P Wings” with a sweet chili glaze and $7 wine and

loved to take the ferry to the nearby Channel Islands,

cocktails.

and happily explored and hiked Santa Cruz Island — home to a stunning and unique variety of flora and

For breakfast, I enjoyed some light-as-air “Lemon Ricotta Pancakes” with blueberry compote, and my husband devoured a flavorful and crispy Huévos Rancheros. We

fauna. Kayaking is another popular activity around the Channel Islands, where the luckiest boaters can catch site of sea lions, otters, and perhaps even dolphins. The

both appreciated the selection of fresh-pressed juices offered, as well.

SHOP Just steps outside our hotel is a shopaholic’s paradise of apparel boutiques, worldly home goods and plenty of edible treats, located right along State Street. And right next door, the outdoor shopping mall “Paseo Nuévo" offers a lovely setting for familiar stores such as

Channel Islands have been called “The Galapagos

Nordstrom, Express, Sephora and more. One could easily

Islands of the U.S.”, due to their isolated nature, which

spend a whole day browsing the shops along State

has allowed plants and animals to evolve independently,

Street, stopping at one of the cafes every so often for

and thus become quite unique. Of the 2000 species

lunch or a sweet treat.

found on the five islands, 145 are found nowhere else in the world.

PLAY

But that will have to be saved for our next Santa Barbara

Santa Barbara offers plenty of sights and adventure to

getaway, if I can tear myself away from that gorgeous

easily fill a weekend, so we had to narrow down our

rooftop pool, that is.

JUNE 2018 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27

[ PARENTING ]

Food Fast without Fast Food

by Dan Taylor, ACE, NASM-CPT Are you a parent with a busy, chaotic schedule? Me too. Here’s how I eat on a typical day to keep up with the demands of my work, family and stay lean and strong.

Dan Taylor, ACE, NASM-CPT owns Tri Valley Trainer which provides personal and small group fitness training and developed Lean Online, a medically endorsed, simple, comprehensive and interactive web-based course on permanently mastering life-long healthful eating. He can be reached at Dan@ TriValleyTrainer.com.

4:30am – The alarm goes off. What?! Didn’t I just go to bed? No, now I remember, I put my daughter’s lunch together, rinsed my stovetop latte maker so it would be ready when I got up the next morning, showered, shaved, took out my contacts, flossed and brushed my teeth. Did I kiss my fiancée before bidding her goodnight? Maybe. Well, I’ll catch up on that today.

So, while I’m scrambling into the bathroom to get ready I’m thinking about the structure of the sessions I’m going to do with my first three clients. I need food (or something like it) during those first few hours at the studio that won’t interfere with my work before I head home to take my girl to school. I will have approximately four minutes to spare between getting up and dropping her off for the day. Grab and go is my only realistic strategy. I put water into the bottom section of the latte maker, load the top with my decaf French Roast and put a mug of whole milk in the microwave. Two minutes later, after a few swigs of vegetable juice I pour the hot milk and the coffee into a commuter cup, snatch a hardboiled egg and a banana and hit the road. I eat the banana and the egg on the way to my studio and sip the latte during the first session.

8:15am – I get home and yell upstairs that I’m ready to take her to school when my daughter is ready to go. She gets her backpack situated and grabs her shoes, giving me time to defrost a Noah’s sourdough bagel to eat, yes, again in the car. After dropping her off at school, I have a few minutes to hit Starbucks and get a Jade Citrus Mint tea.

11:30am – After my 9:00am client, checking my e-mail, posting on the studio FB page, returning calls and then working out, I eat a tangerine while microwaving a bowl of the crockpot beef stew I made a couple of days before. Now my belly is happy. That’s a good thing.

4:05pm – Since I’m least motivated to prepare a meal at the end of the day, I put some kale in a bowl with roasted unsalted sunflower seeds, half a small diced honey crisp apple and cranberry raisins, tossed with a little blue cheese dressing. For protein I slice some rotisserie chicken and throw it on top.

6:48pm – I put on the kettle and brew myself some Irish breakfast tea with a little whole milk.

What are the critical features of this day of eating? They are: • 2,000+ high-quality calories (my requirement based on my size and activity level and intensity) • VERY low preparation/time required • A good mix of tastes and textures • Lower glycemic index (rate at which carbohydrates enter and then leave the bloodstream) • Cheap Want more guidance on eating healthfully on a tight schedule? Join my free Facebook group – Living Lean for Non-Cooks in Chaos.

28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JUNE 2018

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