Active Family Magazine - July 2016

Page 1

JULY 2016

4TH OF

HAUTE

FIREWORKS

Talking To Kids About Tragedies

JULY AND EVENTS!

Summer Style


MORE MYSTERIOUS

A FRONTIER

THAN THE MOON

Now open

In the depths of the ocean’s twilight zone—a region scientists know less about than the surface of the Moon—every dive yields new discoveries. Explore these deep reefs and the fascinating marine life found hundreds of feet below. Get tickets at calacademy.org Generously supported by 2 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016



Volume 3 / Issue 30 [ PARENTING ]

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

[ EVENTS ]

Your Child is Ordinary –Congratulations!

4th of July Fireworks and Events

July Calendar

10

24

8

Summer Concerts Around the Bay

Talking to Kids About Tragedies

12

[ FASHION ]

32

Haute Summer Style

Discover Downtown Walnut Creek

26

Work-Family Balance in Just 5 Short Weeks!

34

[ WOMENS ISSUES ]

16

[ PRODUCTS WE LOVE ]

40

Travel Essentials Are You A Risk to Your Child’s Success?

18

20

Fun in the Sun

How to Avoid Your Parents’ Parenting Mistakes

5 Reasons I’m More Self-Confident in My 30s

38

30

10 4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016

26

32


SPORTS MEDICINE CENTER FOR YOUNG ATHLETES Free 2016 Lectures & Hands-On Workshops

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Attend in person or watch live online. Baseball

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Tuesday, June 28, 7-8 p.m. Walnut Creek Campus

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Tuesday, March 22, 7-8 p.m. Walnut Creek Campus

Gymnastics

Tuesday, April 26, 7-8 p.m. Walnut Creek Campus

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Tuesday, July 26, 7-8 p.m. Oakland Campus

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Concussion

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Tuesday, August 23, 7-8 p.m. Walnut Creek Campus

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Attend in person or watch live online at bitly.com/sportslectures2016 Oakland 510-428-3558

San Francisco 415-353-2808

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744 52nd St. Oakland, CA 94609

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Walnut Creek Center: 925-979-3430 Motion Lab: 925-979-3420 2401 Shadelands Dr. Walnut Creek, CA 94598


Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area Publisher/Editor

Marketing Assistant Interns

Contributing Authors

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Jaida Sinclair Alexis Faria

Jennifer S. White Anastasia Gavalas Dr. Gail Gross Dr. Michel Borba Jamee Tenzer Dr. Shefali

Advertising Sales Director Kathy Brillheart kbrillheart@activefamilymag.com

Advertising Sales Managers

Fashion Editor Rachel Fawkes www.fawkeshunter.com

April Gentry agentry@activefamilymag.com

Design/Production

Mary Oakes moakes@activefamilymag.com

Ad Design/Production

Teresa Agnew Craft Lara Mays

Sherry Maas smaas@activefamilymag.com

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709 Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note It’s July! Time to soak up some sun (don’t forget the sunblock!), grab the family and celebrate summer! We have the quintessential summer products featured in this issue to help you enjoy all that the season has to offer! Flip to page 38 to find our favorite summertime finds! Have a family trip planned? Then turn to page 18 to discover some amazing travel products to help make your life easier and stylish! The 4th of July is a fun-filled, all-time favorite holiday, so be sure to find the local fireworks and events, on page 10! Looking to chill and relax and take in some good music? The Summer Concerts around the Bay Guide on page 32 should help! Happy Summer! Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


?


[ PARENTING ]

Shefali Tsabary, Ph.D., received her doctorate in clinical psychology from Columbia University. Specializing in the integration of Western psychology and Eastern philosophy, Dr. Shefali brings together the best of both worlds for her clients. She is an expert in family dynamics and personal development and runs a private practice in New York City. Dr. Shefali has written three books, including the award winning New York Times bestselling book The Conscious Parent. Dr. Shefali is also a keynote speaker who has presented at TEDx, Kellogg Business School, the Dalai Lama Center for Peace and Education, and other conferences and workshops around the world. She’s been featured on Oprah Winfrey’s Super Soul Sunday and Oprah’s Lifeclass.

Your Child is Ordinary – Congratulations! by Dr. Shefali Tsabary If there is one fear that is common to most of the parents I have encountered, it is this: “My child is ordinary.” It’s as if they have been insulted, or worse still, rejected in some way. Where does this fear come from? Why is there such a need for us – parents especially – to raise “extraordinary” children? Is our sense of self so compromised that we need our children to wear bells and whistles just so we can feel good about ourselves? Countless parents believe they need to “optimize” their children and feel guilty if they don’t push them—all because of a deeply ingrained fear-driven idea that we need our children to reach for an imaginary “potential.” One of the common phrases many parents use is this, “I just want my child to reach their potential.” In this quest for “potential” they feel justified to push and pressure them, and in many instances shame and belittle them, all the while believing that they are doing so for the good of their children.

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[ PARENTING ] The idea of living up to one’s potential needs to be

giftedness and ordinariness.

redefined. Instead of seeing potential as future-oriented, involving who our children will become, we need to break the word down into its components, getting at the root meaning. The word “potent” lies at the heart of the word. Potency isn’t futuristic, but refers to the power our children already possess that will propel them into a

The insight slowly dawns that our children are indeed extraordinary – in their very ordinariness and that we can end the quest for them to be anything “extra” or “special,” for they already possess all that they need to

better tomorrow. Anything that will come later is founded

in this present moment. Isn’t this a liberating thought?

in what’s already abundant in a child, not on something

I counter that not only is it liberating for us to stop the

we are trying to instill. Look up the word “potency”

quest of fixing and producing our children – but also

and you will find synonyms such as “vigor,” “capacity,”

ultimately empowering for our children. Can you imagine

“energy,” “might,” and “moxie.” Each of these speaks to

the release of pressure a child must feel knowing that

the abundance of vitality a child possesses in the here and now. So if we wish to emphasize a child’s potential, we need to focus on the child’s inherent powers right here, right now, not on wishful thinking about what they

who it is they are – at this present moment – is worthy of their parent’s praise? It immediately allows them to feel a sense of rightness within themselves – one that releases

might someday “become.”

their capacity to fully potentialize themselves.

When it comes to living in the now, young children are

Only when we parents understand that our desire for our

gurus. Perhaps it’s their lack of language, especially in

children’s extra-ordinariness comes from our own inner

the first few years of life that allows them to immerse

state of longing and lack that we will release our children

themselves in reality body and soul. Their ability to be

from the burden of making ourselves feel better.

in this moment now, detached from “what was” and “what might be,” with all its fearful “what ifs,” is a sharp reminder to us of how to engage life in the time zone in which we actually find ourselves.

Before and after School Care For students entering TK to 5th grade in PUSD

When we shift from defining potential as something in the future and move into the recognition of each child’s potency in the here and now, our entire perception of what is “extraordinary” shifts. Now, instead of wishing for something – often fantasized – to take form in order to claim it “special,” we shift our attention to what is occurring in the present moment. And when we do, our children reveal themselves to be gifted with abundant qualities. It is here – in our attention to the here and now that we become aware that every child is both gifted and ordinary at the same time. We begin to notice the nuanced qualities of their character and are amazed by all that unfolds before us. Instead of medals and certificates being the qualifiers of merit, we begin to pay attention to the joy in their eyes and the quickness of their smiles. We realize that our children don’t possess just one quality, but are forever and fluidly capable of many expressions, including

Program includes:  Meals and snacks  Drop off and pick up from school  Classes such as Karate, Spanish, SPARK PE, Art and Science  Homework support  Open teacher work days and most vacations  Drop off and pick up from most schools

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JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9


[ SEASONAL FUN ]

4th of July Fireworks and Events 4th of July Family Fun Fireworks Celebration

Red, White & Brew Fest

4:30 pm - 10:00 pm Downtown Livermore | Livermore, CA 94550

3:00pm – 6:00pm | Alameda County Fairgrounds 4501 Pleasanton Ave. | Pleasanton, CA 94566

Join the City of Livermore and Livermore Downtown as they celebrate the 4th of July in Downtown Livermore. Fireworks display will be launched off of the top of the Parking Structure on Railroad Avenue. Family Fun, great restaurant and shopping specials and an opportunity to gather with Livermore friends and neighbors in this great American tradition!

General admission ($40) includes: Admission to the Fair, Unlimited Craft Beer Samples, Tasting Glass, Exclusive Infield Access for the Red, White & Brew Fest, Racing Program & Tip Sheet.

Alameda Country Fair 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular Fair hours: 11:00am – 11:00pm. Fireworks: 9:30pm. Alameda County Fairgrounds 4501 Pleasanton Ave. | Pleasanton, CA 94566 Celebrate 18 days of “The Spirit of Summer” at Alameda County Fair, with the 4th of July Fireworks Spectacular, Extreme Action Zone shows, big-name concerts, horse racing, and much more.

10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016

Run San Ramon 8:00am San Ramon Community Center 12501 Alcosta Blvd | San Ramon CA 94583 Get a healthy start to your 4th of July with this Independence Day Classic. Enjoy the measured, paved and looped course through San Ramon. The 10K is a double loop of the 5K course. Participants receive a short sleeve commemorative shirt and goodies provided by local sponsors. The Run San Ramon 10K and 5K will be a chip timed race.

Independence Day Celebration

5:00pm – 8:00pm | Central Park 12501 Alcosta Blvd | San Ramon, CA 94583 Celebrate the 4th of July with a free concert featuring music from the iconic American rock band-The Eagles. Bring the entire family, some beach chairs and a picnic. The evening will begin with patriotic music performed by the San Ramon Symphonic Band, a salute to our Veterans and free crafts for the kids will round out the activities.


[ SEASONAL FUN ] Danville 4th of July Parade 9:00 am - 12:30 pm Downtown Danville, Hartz Avenue | Danville, CA 94526 Kick off Independence Day at Danville’s 4th of July Parade. This festive, hometown event attracts over 40,000 attendees each year including local residents, family, friends, and flag-wavers from the Bay Area and beyond. Park yourself curbside and cheer on the bands, gymnasts, Scouts, and other community organizations as they proudly march by. Horses and other animals will pace the route, while antique cars inch along for your enjoyment.

July 4th Orinda Hometown Celebration & Parade 7:30 -1:30pm | 35 Moraga Way | Orinda, CA 94563 Join us for events for every age group starting with the annual Pancake Breakfast, flag raising ceremony, fun run, parade, live music, food, games and booths in the park following the parade. Everyone is invited to participate in the planning, sponsor a booth or event, participate in the parade, host a booth in the park, or just come and enjoy the events.

4th, benefiting both the Monument Crisis Center and Bay Area Crisis Nursery. Lace up your shoes and get ready to start of your 4th of July celebration in a fun & healthy way with your loved ones, friends, neighbors and co-workers! Dress up in your best patriotic fitness (or not!) attire and join in on the fun! Register up until July 3rd.

25th Anniversary Independence Day Parade 10:00am | Parade start: Mount Diablo High School on Grant St. | Concord, CA 94520 Get a good seat along the parade route. Cheer loudly for your favorite entry and let the parade participants know how much you enjoy their performance!

3rd Annual 4th of July Festival & Fireworks 4:00pm – 10:00pm | Mt. Diablo High School 2450 Grant St. | Concord, CA 94520

4th of July Concert in the Park 6:00pm | Civic Park Civic and Broadway | Walnut Creek, CA 94596 The Walnut Creek Concert Band will celebrate Independence Day with a free concert at Civic Park! Bring a picnic and a blanket to sit on the grass, and wish our nation and musical happy birthday!

5k Run 8:00am Todos Santos Plaza | Concord, CA 94520 The Concord Police Association is honored to present our 7th Annual Stars & Stripes 5K Run & Walk on Monday, July

Come out and enjoy Concord’s Home Town Picnic, filled with a kids’ carnival, food booths, vendor exhibits, and live entertainment on stage. Then finally at 9:00 pm the day will be concluded with a fireworks display that will not disappoint. We look forward to seeing you this year for a day full of activities! Performing live on stage is a hometown favorite - Stung: The Police Tribute Band.

4th of July at the Berkeley Marina 12:00pm – 10:00pm | Berkeley Marina 201 University Ave. | Berkeley, CA 94710 A fun, family day at the Marina! Food trucks and booths, handmade crafts, free dragon boat rowing from 12:00 – 5:00pm, massages, live pony rides and carnival rides near Skates, an inflatable bouncy area, mini-train rides, giant slides, and water bubble ball rides all culminating in the grand fireworks over the water from the end of the Berkeley Pier at 9:35pm. Live entertainment from 12:00 – 9:00pm. JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11


[ PARENTING ] Dr. Michele Borba is an internationally recognized expert and author on children, teens, parenting, bullying and moral development. She is an NBC contributor appearing over 100 times on the TODAY show and is the regular parenting expert on Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers. Her work has been featured on Dr. Phil, Dateline, The View, The Doctors, Fox News, The Early Show and CNN and well as in Newsweek, People, Good Housekeeping, Chicago Tribune, U.S. News & World Report, Washington Post, The New York Times and The Globe and Mail. She was an MSNBC contributor to two televised “Education Nation” specials. Dr. Borba is the awardwinning author of 22 parenting and educational books translated into 14 languages. Titles include: Don’t Give Me That Attitude!, Parents Do Make A Difference, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, and Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me!, No More Misbehavin’, Building Moral Intelligence (cited by Publishers’ Weekly as “Among the most noteworthy of 2001”), and Esteem Builders used by 1.5 million students worldwide. She writes as the parenting expert for Dr. Oz’s website, as well a daily column for her blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check: www.micheleborba.com Twitter: @micheleborba

Talking to Kids About Tragedies by Dr. Michele Borba “Dear Dr. Borba: My eight-year old is so upset by the terrorist attack in Orlando. He saw the television news. Now he’s afraid to let me out of his sight and cried when his daddy left for work. I don’t know what to tell him or do to make him feel safe. Do you have any ideas?” – A mom from Sarasota, Florida Tragedies are difficult enough for adults to try and understand, let alone our kids. When tragedies are perpetrated intentionally by others and cause injuries and deaths, they are especially hard. And to adolescents with already negative views of world, they can only reinforce their outlook that cruelty is pervasive. That’s why it’s important to talk to your children and reassure them that not only are they secure, but the world is still filled with good, peaceful people. Talking about a tragic event also helps you assess your children’s emotional needs and understanding about what happened and ensure that the facts are accurate. Be aware that children often make the event even worse. Whenever you discuss any tragedy with children-such as the Orlando tragedy,

12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


[ PARENTING ] the Boston bombing, ISIS, a school shooting, a terrorist

A – Assure safety and be available

attack, natural disaster, deaths at a concert or sporting

A top priority in any tragedy is to assure your child that he

event-there are four elements you can use that help

is not in danger. Emphasize that you are there to protect

reassure them that their world is still safe and caring. To

and keep him safe. Here are a few ways to rebuild

help you remember the parts, just think of the word TALK;

security in children’s lives during distressing times:

each part begins with a letter of the word: Be together. Give extra hugs, spend longer tucker them T – Tune in to your child’s emotions

in, be available, and assure them you are safe and are

A – Assure safety and be available

there for them.

L – Listen patiently K – Kindle empathy and do something positive

Provide structure. Children need stability to help them feel secure, so try to stick to their everyday routines and

Here are the four parts to discussing tragedy and how

schedules as much as possible.

you might use them with children: Affirm safety of loved ones. This is important even if you T – Tune in to your child’s emotional state

are nowhere near the site. Have your child phone or

As the events unfold observe your child with your ears,

email those he’s concerned about to assure him.

eyes, and heart and expect that he probably will be distressed. Watch closely to see how your child handles

Model emotional strength. Your kids mirror your example:

the tragedy and determine whether he may need

demonstrate emotional strength to the best of your

specific help.

ability. Don’t dwell on the incident; model optimism. Stress isolated event. Emphasize that this is a one-time

For instance, is he overly-frightened, clinging, having

incident and now it’s over.

nightmares, having trouble concentrating, tantrums, afraid to be alone, regressing to younger development

Describe safety actions. Stress that people are taking

behaviors, acting out, withdrawing, crying, or changing

action to keep our country safe and help those who are

eating or sleeping habits?

hurt.

If these continue, seek help. Each person uses his unique

Minimize TV viewing. Younger children have difficulty

temperament, past experiences, and coping strategies

distinguishing between real and unreal-turn the TV off.

to deal with a tragedy.

If your older child is faster the news, be with him. One study found that middle school age kids were terrified of

Seek support. Do seek support from friends to talk about

late breaking news without an adult to help explain the

your feelings to help you keep emotionally healthy so you

situation. These events are frightening for any child. Be

can deal more confidently with your kids.

there.

Offer emotional outlets. Find ways as a family to release

L – Listen patiently

tension: exercise, go for walks or bike rides, eat well, listen

Kids need to know that it is okay to talk about the event

to soothing music, watch humorous videos.

and share their feelings. Let them know you are available patiently reassure them that it’s normal to be upset.

Utilize beliefs. Model coping practices with your family such as meditating, going to church, journaling, praying,

Listening will help you gauge the kind of support they

or doing spiritual readings. Do them with your kids.

might need.

Model calmness. Children copy our behavior and mirror

Stick to facts. You do not need to explain more than

us. If you’re calm, your child will be calamer.

they are ready to hear. Discuss the tragedy is terms they JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13


[ PARENTING ] understand.

Volunteer in an organization. Get involved as a family in a group committed to helping victims such as the Red

Be honest. Admit when you don’t know the answers, but

Cross, Catholic Charities, or the United Way.

say you’ll try to find out. Discuss tragedy sporadically. It’s sometimes better to talk about events in shorter segments so kids can think about what they hear and then come back later to ask.

Collect or donate money. Send money to a charity dedicated to helping victims, establish a relief fund, or build a memorial. Kids can save money from their

Find outlets to express feelings. Not all kids feel

allowance, earn money by doing extra jobs, or collect it

comfortable talking or may not have the words to

by holding fund-raisers.

convey their feelings. Offer creative outlets such as journaling, drawing, music, puppets, clay, or books to

Hang an American flag. Show children how a country

help them express their reactions.

displays solidarity by hanging our flag and discussing its’ symbolism.Even better, hang the flags together.

K – Kindle empathy and do something positive One of the best ways to reduce kids’ feelings of hopelessness is to find ways to comfort victims and help the affected community. Empathy is the answer to violence and cruelty. If you can feel for another, you can’t act cruelly. Empathy — it’s what terrorists are

Offer prayers. Attend a religious service as a family, pray together, or light a nightly candle to signify your family’s hopes for peace in the world and comfort for the victims and those who lost loved ones. Traditions are comforting

trained NOT to have.

for us all.

One easy way to nurture empathy is to encourage your

Write sidewalk chalk messages. One of the most stirring

child to imagine being the people he sees on the news.

pictures was people writing messages to victims, “Love,”

Ask: How would you feel if that was you? What do you

“We’re with you,” “Hope” on the streets. Your child can

think she needs? His answers often promote constructive

also design a poster and even hang it on the front door.

ideas. Then help him develop a positive course of action and offer to assist him in carrying it out. Here are ways to enhance children’s empathy towards victims and do something positive to make a difference in their world.

Or give your kids sidewalk chalk and encourage them to write messages of kindness on your sidewalks. In spite of the horrors of this tragedy, we must give our children hope. Let’s lift up the spirits of our kids so they don’t see the world as all bleak. Start tuning into the

Share heroic, compassionate deeds. The news is filled

glorious, compassionate stories of strangers who are

with tales of heroic and caring deeds: share them with

aiding others. Make sure you describe the long lines of

your child to help him see their world as caring. One

people who stood outside all night waiting to give blood

father told me his family started nightly “Caring Reports”

to victims. Our kids need to hear those tales.

(random kind deeds people did for others) after the shooting at Columbine. It was how they helped their kids “look for the good” instead of only on the horror of the few who caused it. Write a letter. Help your child draw, write, or email

By modeling empathy, compassion and tolerance, we can teach our children lessons that will help to build a better future for all of us. It’s certainly a future our kids deserve.

condolences to victims or express thanks to those who are helping. Your child can also go online a write a note

Prayers and thoughts for the people who lost loved ones

to the Belgium embassy.

in this tragedy, and for our world.

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[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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[ PARENTING ]

Jamee Tenzer is an Executive Coach, Trainer and Mentor. For the past 15 years she has been privileged to coach breadwinner moms and executives and to work internationally as a coach mentor and trainer. She has worked with leaders in many industries including; entertainment, non-profit and technology. In addition to serving as a Supervisor, Mentor and Trainer for the International Coach Academy from 2006 to 2015, she is also a trained mediator and the co-creator of three ICF Accredited courses for coaches; Deeper Conversations Coaching, Mentor Coach Certification and Real Coaching Sessions Unplugged. Jamee is a member of the International Coach Federation, Producers Guild of America and Academy of Television Arts and Sciences. She holds a CPC from the International Coach Academy, a PCC from the International Coach Federation and a BCC from the Center for Credentialing and Education. She is a committed im-perfectionist - her husband and three children can attest to this!

Work – Family Balance in Just 5 Short Weeks! by Jamee Tenzer Part 5: Share Your Success! GOOD FOR YOU! You created Work – Family Balance in just 5 short months! Actually, you created many moments of balance possibly surrounded by a few moments of: • Overwhelm • Frustration • Exhaustion Am I right? But, if you had even one moment where you glimpsed the possibility of more Work – Family Balance, you deserve a BIG pat on the back. That moment might not have happened without your commitment. By the way, If you haven’t had a chance to do Part’s 1 through 4 of this program, please take a look and then come on back armed with lots to celebrate! Last month you identified your unique recipe for Work – Family Balance. How did it turn out? Was it absolutely delicious?

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[ SEASONAL FUN ]

[ PARENTING ]

If you are like most of us, you probably have some small adjustments to make:

2. MOVEMENT THAT LIGHTS A FIRE UNDER YOUR PURPOSES AND GOALS

• Maybe you need to add another secret ingredient? • Perhaps you have to break the recipe into smaller steps? • Could it be that you need some help in the kitchen?

I can take the following actions to create more physical movement in my life, at work and with my family: Walk the kids to school and take the stairs at work.

Remember, Work – Family Balance is a process.

What worked for me: This didn’t work. I was always too late to do either.

We are never “done” achieving greater balance. We are simply playing with the recipe and celebrating, as we go.

One small change I intend to make for better results: Add 10 minutes to every task so that I have more time in my day.

If you notice that you are out of Balance, go back to the basics.

3. CONNECTING THAT BRINGS YOU CLOSER TO FAMILY, FRIENDS AND CO-WORKERS

Work – Family Balance is created when:

I can take the following actions to connect more with others and myself: Ask a co-worker or mom from school, to lunch.

1. We are able to be present in our lives at work and at home, and not overly distracted. 2. We have a healthy body and clear mind that is able to be efficient as opposed to overwhelmed. 3. We have a support system and nurturing relationships with the people in our lives. 4. We know ourselves. So, let’s take a moment to discover what worked and what you would like to change this coming week.

What worked for me: Had a great lunch with a mom and learned we have a lot in common! One small change I intend to make for better results: Instead of lunch, make a plan to take a walk with someone and get coffee. That helps with my health goals too. 4. DASH OF HOW HUNGRY ARE YOU?

Remember your recipe? Here are your ingredients – fill in the blanks with new ideas or find your answers from Part 4 – The Best Recipe For Work – Family Balance. I have written some sample answers, to give you an idea of how this works. Go ahead and replace my answers with your own answers and remember to have fun. 1. THINKING THAT BENEFITS YOU AT WORK AND AT HOME: I can take the following actions to create more time to think at work and with my family: When I stop responding under pressure and count to 5 instead. What worked for me was: I was calmer when my daughter asked me for dessert over and over again. One small change I intend to make for better results: Count to 10!

I can take the following actions to create more presence, movement and connection in my life, at work and with my family by: Incorporate exercise into my goal to connect with others and take 1 additional walk this week. 5. YOUR SECRET INGREDIENT (Remember, only YOU know what it is): I know that if I take this one action, I will begin to see results in my experience of work – family balance: Practice saying no just a little more often. I would love to hear from you. Please give me your feedback on this article series and let me know how this process worked for you and what your results have been! Remember, creating Work – Family Balance is a process. The more you work on it, the more you will experience the Balance that you are working towards. JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 17


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Go to www.activefamilymag.com or www.facebook.com/activefamilymag for more info! JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19


[ PARENTING ]

Anastasia is a parent coach, awardwinning author, internationally recognized speaker, Huffington Post blogger, and mother of five. With over two decades of real life experience, Anastasia’s proven success is based on balance and results. She teaches parents how to create healthier lives and find the happiness they desire. She shares innovative strategies and new perspectives that put an end to uncertainty and stress and, lead her clients to success. Her Wing It™ philosophy helps modern day families build strong foundations, rebalance their lives, and launch happy, independent children. Anastasia is the author of the award-winning book, Leadership Through the Eyes of Children, and WING IT: 6 Simple Steps to Succeed as a Modern Day Parent. She is the founder of the WING IT Project, a non-profit that funds educational opportunities for children locally and globally, and co-creator of Hamptons Wellness Week. She provides private parent coaching as well as speaking at small or large gatherings about making modern parenthood easier and rebalancing family life in today’s world. Anastasia has also been featured in multiple media outlets such as TLC Network, The New York Times, ABC Family Television, The Huffington Post, Well + Good, Hamptons Magazine, NBC Television, KIWI Magazine, Parenting, ZLiving Television, MSN.com, Sheknows, Parents Magazine, ivillage, Live It Up Show, News 12 Long Island, eHow, San Diego Family, Metro Family, and Everyday Family.

Are You A Risk to Your Child’s Success? by Anastasia Gavalas What is it that today’s parents really want? Let’s start with the declaration of deserving it all; to be happy, raise smart kids, find their passion, have good relationships, and be financially independent. But, more often than not parents are being caught up in a roller coaster of fear-based competitions to be the perfect parent. The alarming speed of daily life, constant chatter, and bombardment of stimulation, technology, and global turmoil exemplifies the need for parents to recognize the extreme impact today’s disconnect has on raising children. We allow ourselves to get absorbed by elevated levels of fear and distractions that result in the prevalent sacrifice of human connection. If ever there was a moment in time that called for rising above life’s chaos and instability, that moment is now. We desperately need to bring back some sense and sensibility to the parenting arena. The recent menagerie of flawed approaches, whether tigerish or hovering, controlling or carefree, all overlook the most essential aspects of parenting – consciousness and meaningful relationships between parent and child. Parents who have the courage to strike a balance within their lives set their kids up for success. Others will have to work hard at clearing the onslaught of busyness that influences daily life in order to reconnect and have a chance at success. This

20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


[ PARENTING ] includes creating space and time to have courageous

the need to do it all, have it all, post it all, and gauge

conversations. Communication needs to be fair and

personal success by what others notice, rather than

balanced, as do expectations. Although it’s easy to

genuine experiences with the people who are right in

get caught up in the noise and distraction of modern-

front of us.

day life, we as parents have the opportunity to choose between bringing clarity or adding noise to life each

Modern day distractions generate experiences on

day. When parenting practices are simple and balanced

a superficial level. The more connected the world

without being drenched in fear-based notions, children

has become, the more disengaged people are on a

exceed expectations.

personal level. It takes courage to sever from the prolific habits that have led us to the gross disconnect currently

The current culture of the world exhibits consequences

in society. Today’s disengaged families are everywhere

of disengaged philosophies and imbalanced practices.

from ball fields to dinner tables, from urban life to the

During these times of global unrest and uncertainty, we

suburbs, to good old ‘reality’ TV that represents families

must return to truth and sensibility. Restoring balance

filled with outrageous drama. Parents are bombarded

begins as an internal shift and needs to be practiced

with fake personas and addicted to keeping up. It is

every single day to foster a responsive and successful

as though we’re duplicating a high school mentality

progression. Finding balance helps individuals identify

of needing to be part of the crowd, but the crowd

their feelings, make confident choices, and remain

has grown and the world has shrunk with the growth

present. Stress in the modern world will continue to

of technology. We’ve forgotten the most important

accelerate; but the better we utilize the time we

focus should be on real family life and not just the

share with children will determine how well they grow.

peripheral. That’s the central accomplishment parents

Remaining thoroughly modern and brilliantly balanced

need to concentrate on. Parents who live consciously,

in parenthood is possible. There just need to be some

authentically, respectfully, and open-mindedly will

shifts in perspectives. The hurried pace and superficial

organically ignite their children’s physiological potential.

connections thrust upon us will need serious reflection and a new level of consciousness in order for families to

Everyone benefits from parents being balanced. The

not only to survive, but thrive.

simple effort of trying to reach balance, in the various aspects of life, helps your true self emerge and provides

Like never before, parents are caught up in intense

an opportunity to see your children for who they are.

self-satisfying battles of perfection displayed as the

Family focused lifestyles do not warrant constant

window dressing in virtual profiles. The hunger for “likes”

updates on our social media feed. Re-configuring

and engagement on electronic devices trumps real-

these unproductive patterns will lessen stress and help

life living. Our craving for approval is now deeper than

parents live with more clarity and purpose. Raising a

ever as technology tracks our every move, but the

family is not meant to keep us from enjoying life, but

images often portrayed are slated. Individuals chronicle

rather to experience what really matters and, essentially

perfect parenting with forced, snapped, edited, and

accelerate personal happiness. Consider that parenting

posted selfies, children’s accomplishments, and chef-

doesn’t have to be the hardest job on earth. That it

like meals in anticipation of gaining approval. Worth

can actually be fun. Parents make it hard by striving

is based on the amount of “likes” received on their

towards perfection, fearing the unpredictable, stressing

Instagram or Facebook posts rather than what is actually

out unnecessarily, and resisting what is right in front

happening in front of them. This fierce emergence of

of them. They are the ones responsible for the energy

super-happy, camera-ready, one-sided personas, and

they bring into the family. Those able to release the grip

lifestyles perpetuate more disconnect, imbalance, and

on perfection naturally create the desired space and

an unbearable level of insecurity. This, will no doubt,

energy to move passed challenges and enjoy life.

produce a generation of children who lack self-esteem and continually crave outside approval. We must

The energy expelled on pretending to have it all

acknowledge this sense of urgency to incessantly be

together deprives children and parents of the depth of

connected to the external world in order to live happily;

relationships and true happiness. The longer today’s JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21


[ PARENTING ] parents keep up this pageantry, the more they’ll get

back in the driver’s seat and engage with their children

tangled up in instability and chaos. Continuing this

in a collaborative, well-balanced way. They need to

pattern makes children more susceptible to respond to

rise above this tide of insecurity and set proportionate

negative influences as they grow. Nourishing real-life

examples because children learn from what they see

connections and having more faith in the individual process eases the intensity of external powers and helps us live presently. Life as we know it is moving at lightening speed and children are quicker, smarter, and far more intuitive than ever before. Children have an inner sense of when parents are floundering in the

and experience, not by what they’re told. Children who bare witness to parents constantly engrossed in their smartphones will lack self-awareness and the ability to form healthy relationships, which is really what life is all about. They will not acquire the ability to distinguish

chaos or striving for alignment. Balance brings clarity

truth from fiction, balance from imbalance, simulated

and the opportunity for individuals to take back their life.

and real life, and whole-hearted success. When children

We often hear that parents are so busy and just need

witness parents who work to realign their physical,

more time. With lack of time comes the incapability to

emotional, spiritual, and intellectual progress they will

be kind, patient, or flexible, all of which children need

learn to do so themselves. They will know to look inwards

to grow and develop in a healthy way. A slowing down

instead of outside for approval and contentment, and

of the constant spinning that causes a loss in reality will

will reach true fulfillment in doing so. Parents need to

help parenting. A process that is unhurried promotes more responsiveness rather than reactiveness which organically cultivates a deeper resistance from fear. There is no such thing as perfect parenting. The good news is that it’s not about perfectionism; it’s about progression, which is something everyone can embrace. Learning from the not-so perfect moments will get parents closer to the life they imagined. Slowing down rather than trying to cover up reality or keep up with others helps individuals recognize how perfect their child is for them. That child is the one person who will split their parent wide open, force them to expand, and unmask their true self in a way that no other relationship will do. Parents who live intuitively recognize the path that’s right for them as opposed to the confusion that comes forth when they mimic someone else’s life or try to fit an image. True success lies in the letting go of the pressure to be perfect, continually striving to stay balanced, and courageously connecting more with the children you are raising. Remaining conscious of what being a parent really means and how it affects the deeper happiness we seek will allow us to create experiences that help to raise healthy, well-balanced, productive children for today’s world. It’s a balance; a buoyant blend of guiding and allowing that will propel children to not only succeed but, soar. Regardless of the diversity of our lives and experiences it remains obvious that parents simply want to be better-balanced parents. Today’s world dictates the urgency for parents to get 22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016

wake up and remove themselves from the intensity of reaching for forged connections. The effort to get real helps us experience authentic happiness, raise smart kids, find our passion, develop good relationships, and be independent, which ultimately launches children to success.


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[ EVENTS ]

July Alameda County JULY 1 Kids Free Friday’s Alameda County Fairgrounds Pleasanton 11:00am – 5:00pm www.alamedacountyfair.com

JULY 1, 8, 15, 22 & 29 Friday Nights at OMCA OMCA Oakland 5:00pm – 10:00pm www.museumca.org/friday-nights-omca

JULY 2 Guess Who Concert Alameda County Fairgrounds Pleasanton 8:00pm www.theguesswho.com

JULY 2 – 3 Family Nature Fun Time Crab Cove Visitor Center Alameda 2:00pm – 3:00pm www.ebparks.org Museums On Us Crab Cove Visitor Chabot Space & Science Center Oakland 10:00pm – 5:00pm www.museums.bankofamerica.com

JULY 2 – 8 Meet Extreme Animals Lawrence Hall of Science Berkeley 10:00am – 5:00pm www.hallsci.org/De9o300xHVN

JULY 2 – 17 Shakespeare in the Park Amador Valley Community Park Pleasanton 7:30pm www.sfshakes.org

24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016

JULY 3

JULY 17

Free First Sunday Oakland Museum of California Oakland 10:00am – 6:00pm www.museumca.org

Trains for Autism 1664 Lodestone Rd Livermore 10:00am – 4:00pm robncurtanderson@aol.com

JULY 3,10,17,24 &31

JULY 19

Rockridge Ice Cream Tour Rockridge Oakland 3:00pm www.rockridgefoodtour.com

Root Beer Float Day with the Oakland A’s Oakland Coliseum Oakland 5:00pm – 9:00pm www.athletics.com/JDRF

JULY 8 – 17 Shrek the Musical Woodminster Amphitheater Oakland 8:00pm www.woodminster.com

JULY 9 We All Scream for Ice Cream! Ardenwood Historic Farm Fremont 1:00pm – 2:00pm www.ebparks.org Family Sundown Safari Oakland Zoo Oakland 5:00pm – 10:00am www.oaklandzoo.org

JULY 10 Animal Encounters Show Oakland Zoo Oakland Times Vary www.oaklandzoo.org

JULY 15 Jack’s Night Market Jack London Square Oakland 6:00pm – 10:00pm www.jacklondonsquare.com

JULY 16 Fairyland Summer Sleepovers Children’s Fairyland Oakland 5:45pm – 8:30am www.fairyland.org

JULY 21 Star Wars- The Force Awakens Jack London Square Oakland 8:30pm www.jacklondonsquare.com

JULY 22 Zoovie Night Oakland Zoo Oakland 6:30pm – 9:30pm www.oaklandzoo.org

JULY 30 Berry Picking Ardenwood Historic Farm Fremont 10:30am – 11:30am www.ebparks.org

JULY 30 – 31 Berkeley Kite Festival Cesar Chavez Park Berkeley 10:00am - 5:00pm www.berkeleykitefestival.com

Contra Costa County JULY 2 Free Kids Workshops The Home Depot El Cerrito 9:00am – 12:00pm www.workshops.homedepot.com/ workshops/kids-workshops


[ EVENTS ]

July Saturday Morning Live! Orinda Library Orinda 11:00am – 11:30am www.ccclib.org

JULY 3 Cars & Coffee Blackhawk Plaza Danville 8:00am – 10:00am www.shopblackhawkplaza.com

JULY 5, 12 & 19 Teen Tuesdays Dublin Library Dublin 1:00pm – 3:00pm www.aclibrary.org

JULY 6 Walnut Creek First Wednesdays Cypress Street Walnut Creek 5:00pm – 8:00pm www.walnutcreekdowntown.com

JULY 7 Movie in the Park, Hotel Transylvania 2 Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 8:00pm – 10:00pm www.cityoforinda.org Downtown Pleasant Hill Concert Series Pleasant Hill Shopping Center Pleasant Hill 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.shopdowntownpleasanthill.com

JULY 8 Preschool Performance Series Village Theatre Danville 10:00am www.villagetheatreshows.com

JULY 12 Teddy Bear Camp Out Lafayette Library and Learning Center Lafayette 4:30pm – 5:30pm www.ccclib.org

JULY 16 Public Art Walking Tour Lesher Center for the Arts Walnut Creek 11:00am – 12:00pm www.publicartwalnutcreek.org

JULY 16 – 17 Ghostbusters Weekend Playland- Not- at- the- Beach El Cerrito 10:00am – 5:00pm www.playland-not-at-the-beach.org

JULY 17 Kids Bowl Free Diablo Valley Bowl Concord 9:00am – 4:00pm www.kidsbowlfree.com/ statephp?state=CA

Out of Area JULY 1 Fair Fireworks and S’more Feast McLnnis Park San Rafael 8:30pm – 10:00pm www.marincountyparks.org

JULY 9 Aquarium Behind the Scenes Tour California Academy of Sciences San Francisco 10:00am www.calacademy.org

JULY 10 Stern Grove Festival 19th Ave and Sloat Blvd San Francisco 2:00pm www.sfsymphony.org

JULY 18 - 21 Next Step Dance Studio Summer Camps Blackhawk Plaza Danville Times Vary www.nextstepdance.com

JULY 21 Movie in the Park, Cinderella (2015) Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 8:00pm – 10:00pm www.cityoforinda.org

JULY 24 Opera in the Park Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 4:00pm – 6:00pm www.cityoforinda.org

Email info@activefamilymag.com to subscribe to our weekly email blast for more events!

JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25


Haute

[ FASHION ]

SUMMER STYLE

26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


[ FASHION ]

ABOVE: On Jennie: Rebecca Taylor Dia High-Waist Midi Skirt, $375 Rebecca Taylor Dia Lace Top, $325 | Nordstrom Vintage Leather Bangle, $16, Vintage Turquoise Bead Necklace, $38 Vintage Gold Cocktail Ring, $32, Vintage Compact Box Bag, $48 | Cottage Jewel, Danville ABOVER RIGHT: On Sienna: Teal Fringe Bikini, $13.99 | Target On Amber: Pineapple Print Neon Orange One-Piece , $15.99 | Target Mirrored Heart Sunglasses, $12 | Nordstrom RIGHT: On Amber: Ceramic Sunburst Halter One-Piece, $39 | TeaCollection.com On Jennie: DVF Liri Printed Silk Drawstring Shorts, $198 | Neiman Marcus Posy Ikat Cardigan, $278.00 | Kate Spade Merona Camisole, $12 | Target Vintage Lucite Bracelet, $36 | Cottage Jewel, Danville

JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27


[ FASHION ]

LEFT: On Jennie: Cowrie Shell Silk Tunic Dress, $228 | Vineyard Vines Prada Hexagonal Heritage Sunglasses, $255 | Sunglass Hut Vintage Bamboo Bracelet, $22, Vintage Bangle, $32, Vintage Two-Tone Bead Necklace, $48 | Cottage Jewel, Danville Joie Nice T-Strap Sandals, $125 | Neiman Marcus OPPOSITE PAGE: On Sienna: Teal Fringe Bikini, $13.99 | Target Mini Boden Towelling Terry Shorts, $24.50 | Nordstrom On Amber: Pineapple Print Neon Orange One-Piece , $15.99 | Target Mermaid Footless Tights, $32 | LunaLeggings.com Mirrored Heart Sunglasses, $12 | Nordstrom Bling2O Rhinestone Swim Goggles, $24 | Nordstrom

Photographer: Allen J. Mort | am2images.com Wardrobe & Prop Stylist: Rachel Fawkes Hair Stylist: Sue XXXX Makeup Artist: Madison Gallagher Models: Jennie, Sienna and Amber Hearing

28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


[ FASHION ]

JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29


[[ EVENTS PARENTING ] ] Dr. Gail Gross, Ph.D., Ed.D., M.Ed., is a nationally recognized family and child development expert, author, and educator. Her positive and integrative approach to difficult issues helps families navigate today’s complex problems. A dependable authority, Dr. Gross has contributed to broadcast, print and online media including CNN, FOX’s The O’Reilly Factor, MSNBC, The New York Times and USA Today. ABC, CBS and KHOU, Great Day Houston Show. She is a veteran radio talk show host as well as the host of the nationally syndicated PBS program, “Let’s Talk.” Dr. Gross’ soon-to-be second book, How to Build Your Baby’s Brain, teaches parents how to enhance a child’s learning potential through various developmental stages. Two additional books are slated to follow, including The Only Way Out Is Through, a Jungian approach to navigating life’s transitions including grieving, and Defining Moments, which recounts the defining moments of celebrity guests as shared with Dr. Gross during interviews on PBS’ “Let’s Talk.” www.drgailgross.com

How to Avoid Your Parents’ Parenting Mistakes by Dr. Gail Gross Remember when your mom scolded you, and right there, in that moment, you promised yourself that you would never do that to your child... and then, you did. That’s because in everyone’s life, from birth-to-death, there are only two people: mom and dad. And, all of your emotional interactions are based on those early patterns that you learned in your family of origin. Those early patterns formed the crucible for all of your future relationships and became your familiar comfort zone. As a result, it is important to know yourself, and to be aware of your familiar patterns. For it is those behaviors, that you learned as a child, that are transferred to your style of parenting. So, how can you break the cycle? 1. Pay attention and know yourself. Acknowledge and recognize the parenting patterns you are repeating from your childhood. Then, integrate them back into your own sphere of influence — the self. In that way, you

30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


[ PARENTING ] will not be compelled to act reactively, but rather,

it. For example, if your child is hyperactive, has problems

to override your compulsion or impulse to repeat old

focusing or staying on point, it is important for you to be

patterns and choose a new and more appropriate

the steady hand that monitors him, and brings him back

behavior. 2. Never personalize your child’s misbehavior. If you feel a charge in relation to your child’s behavior, then

to his work, whether that includes chores around the house, or homework.

you are projecting your own feelings into that situation.

5. The punishment should always fit the crime. Teaching

Be clear, so that you can separate fact from fiction —

your child problem-solving is more important than

your emotions, from your child’s actions. In that way,

punishing him. My Empathic Process, a model of

your attention will be placed on the incident, where it

communication without defense, will give your child a

belongs, rather than your frame of mind.

sense of himself, his own ability, and self-power, to work

3. Know your child. In my book How to Build your Baby’s Brain, I tell parents about the developmental stages of childhood, so that they can positively affect them. You can only have reasonable expectations from a child that

his way through any problem. By teaching your child to communicate his feelings, and investing him in the process of his own discipline and consequences, you help him become self-actualized. In a sense, you are

is capable of meeting those developmental markers. For

giving him skin in the game and thus, he is more likely to

example, a toddler doesn’t have a good sense of space

follow your mutual discipline approach.

or time and therefore, any punishment lasting more than a few minutes is counter-intuitive. Not only would your

6. Practice and rehearse new behavior to create a new

toddler not remember his offense, but may become

habit. If your child is disciplined too harshly or for an

agitated over the impact of a long punishment. On the other hand, disciplining an adolescent with one week of grounding, but never more, may be

extended period of time, he will forget the cause of his crime, but he will remember, forevermore, his resentment. This can be counter-productive, as you are no longer

beneficial. Punishment and consequences should have

teaching a new behavior, but rather, creating a new

a beginning, a middle, and an end, so that your child

problem.

is taught a new way of behaving, rather than being trained, like a puppy or a horse. Remember: you’re

Moreover, a young child who’s punished too severely, or

teaching a lesson, not breaking your child’s will.

for too long, may personalize his offense and feel that

Further, when disciplining your child, it is important to know his maturation level. Be careful not to be fooled by strong language skills... they don’t necessarily

there is something wrong with him, that he is a “bad boy”; remember, you can’t affect behavior successfully by causing shame or fear. And, be cautious not to do

mean maturity. As a parent, you must function as a

something you can’t take back. For example, never

guide, helping your child traverse the mine fields of

cause your child to miss a special event, either at school

socialization. Because your child is a child, your goal

or home, as punishment.

is to guide him towards making good choices, good decisions, good behavior, self-discipline, and ultimately,

In the final analysis, what you want to teach your child

self-management. Use my Empathic Process to invest

is to “know the rules,” and then give him the positive

your child mutually into your discipline model. This can make him your partner and ally, teaching him both empathy and problem-solving.

incentives necessary to self-manage and behave appropriately. Positive reinforcement, rewards, and privileges will ultimately teach your child to exhibit

4. Recognize your child’s special needs. One size of

good behavior, not because of the fear of punishment,

parenting does not fit all. If your child has a learning

but rather for the intrinsic feeling and value of doing

problem, your discipline model should accommodate

something good for its own sake. JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31


[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Summer Concerts

Around the Bay

JULY 3

JULY 7

Stern Grove Festival–Hieroglyphics Stern Grove San Francisco 2:00pm www.sterngrove.org/concerts/#july-3

Downtown Pleasant Hill Concert Series Downtown Pleasant Hill Shopping Center Pleasant Hill 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.shopdowntownpleasanthill.com

JULY 5 Concert in The Park-Floorshakers Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.cityoforinda.org

Berkeley Botanical Gardens Summer Concerts –Charlie Parr Redwood Grove UC Berkeley 5:30pm – 7:30pm www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

JULY 6, 13, 20 & 27

JULY 8

Plaza Nights Novato Library Novato 4:30pm – 6:30pm www.marinlibrary.org

Rockin’ the Plaza–Greg Kihn Blackhawk Plaza Danville 7:00pm – 8:30pm www.shopblackhawkplaza.com

JULY 6

JULY 10

Music in the Park–Bean Creek Stafford Park Redwood City 6:00pm – 8:00pm www.redwoodcity.org

Stern Grove Festival- San Francisco Symphony Stern Grove San Francisco 2:00pm www.sterngrove.org/concerts/#july-10

32 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


[ SEASONAL FUN ] JULY 14

JULY 26

Berkeley Botanical Gardens Summer Concerts –Bastille Day Party Redwood Grove UC Berkeley 5:30pm – 7:30pm www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

Concert in the Park–Blind to Reason Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.cityoforinda.org

JULY 15 Rockin’ the Plaza–Petty Theft Blackhawk Plaza Danville 7:00pm – 8:30pm www.shopblackhawkplaza.com

JULY 17 Kidchella Courthouse Square Redwood City 11:00am – 1:00pm www.redwoodcity.org Stern Grove Festival- Joan Osborne’s Soul Revue Stern Grove San Francisco 2:00pm www.sterngrove.org/concerts/#july-17

JULY 19 Concert in The Park–Lamorinda Idol Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.cityoforinda.org Walnut Creek Concert- Summer Pops Lesher Center for the Arts Walnut Creek 7:30pm – 9:30pm www.lesherartscenter.showare.com/SummerPopsConcert2016

JULY 21 Berkeley Botanical Gardens Summer Concerts –The Novel Keys + Vikesh Kapoor Redwood Grove UC Berkeley 5:30pm – 7:30pm www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

JULY 22 Rockin’ the Plaza–Caravanserai Blackhawk Plaza Danville 7:00pm – 8:30pm www.shopblackhawkplaza.com

JULY 24 Stern Grove Festival–Julieta Venegas Stern Grove San Francisco 2:00pm www.sterngrove.org/concerts/#july-24

JULY 28 Berkeley Botanical Gardens Summer Concerts –Rob Reich’s Thymesia Redwood Grove UC Berkeley 5:30pm – 7:30pm www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

JULY 29 Concert in the Park–Evolution Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.cityoforinda.org

JULY 31 Stern Grove Festival–San Francisco Ballet Stern Grove San Francisco 2:00pm www.sterngrove.org/concerts/#july-31

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August 3 September 7

October 5

Wine Walk June 15

Movies Under the Stars August 19, Aladdin September 10, Toy Story

Oktoberfest October 15

Trick or Treat October 21

Walnut Creek on Ice Opening November 11

walnutcreekdowntown.com OVER 50 RETAILERS & SPECIALTY BOUTIQUES | SIDEWALK CAFES & ROOFTOP DINING | OUTDOOR MUSIC, THEATRE, & DANCE

WCD_7.75x4.8125_ActiveFamily-v2.indd 1

5/18/16 Y 10:2135 AM JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL


[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Discover

Canvas and Cabernet Co me in and Paint it’s Cheaper than T herapy

Girls night out, moms night out, date night, just you time, whatever the occasion

Come paint with us!

Go to our website to book your painting experience!

www.canvascabernet.com

36 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


YOUR

W•••a••l•n••u••t•••C••r•e••e••k ACGfNcOP North Locust Street, Between Giamona and Lacassie

OPEN YEAR ROUND

Market Hours: 9am-2pm

.

m

Fresh

Corn/

•••••• Other L�cati�ns ••••••

CCRMC Martinez on Tuesdays

Rotunda Circle Main Hospital Entrance, Martinez 2500 Alhambra Ave., Martinez

May-September • 10am-2pm

O

Orinda on Saturdays

22 Orinda Way (in front of Community Park)

April-November • 9am-1pm

•••••••••••••••••••••••••••• /CCCFarmersMrkts • www.cccfm.org

JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 37


[ PRODUCTS WE LOVE ]

FUNBOY

Rainbow Unicorn Float

FUNBOY offers a luxury line of fun, unique, pool floats. Better yet, with every FUNBOY product purchase, they give back to those in need through their charity partners! To purchase, go to www.funboy.com

Lips Float

Derby Duck

Derby Duck is this year’s number one summer floaty and with good reason! With his super cool shades and big smile, he can hold multiple people, has cupholders for beverages and four steady handles so you don’t fall off. He’s made with durable vinyl and is big enough to hold a raft of people. Derby Duck is available at Wal-mart.

LayBag

LayBag™, the brand new, innovative lifestyle product of the season has been developed to relax perfectly everywhere...water or land! You just need two scoops of air and you’re ready to chill. No external pump needed! www.laybag.com

Well-Kept

For every beauty/tech product junkie, Well-Kept are paper thin cleansing towelettes for cell phones, computers, tablets, optical lenses and other modern day gadgets. Purchase at www. staywellkept.com or major retailers like Sephora, Anthropologie and Nordstrom, SRP: $5.99

ENTER TO WIN THESE PRODUCTS!

Go to www.activefamilymag.com or www.facebook.com/activefamilymag for more info!

38 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


[ PRODUCTS WE LOVE ]

PRODUCTS WE LOVE Flamingo Drink Holder

Never leave the pool with the Flamingo Inflatable Drink Holder. Allow your personal Flamingo butler to deliver up to 4 refreshing beverages as you luxuriate on your preferred floatation device. Created with durable PVC and including a puncture repair kit (just-in-case) - summer is blowing up! $18.00

SUNNYLIFE Beach Badminton Set

Take sport luxe to the next level with this stylish summer past time. Badminton is the quintessential lawn game for the whole family, $35.00

SUMMER STARTS HERE! Sunnylife provides all of the tools to enhance the best of a life under the sun. Find Sunnylife’s whimsical products at www.sunnylife.com

Beach Ball

Get your game on with the hand stitched Sunnylife Beach Ball - great for beach soccer or volleyball that’s soft to touch so the whole gang can play, $25.00

Inflatable Pineapple Seashore Bottle Opener

Set the mood in your backyard bar with this hang-able, powder-coated bottle opener, $17.00

Lay back and soak up dem rays on this delicious slice of Inflatable Pineapple, $60.00

ENTER TO WIN THESE PRODUCTS!

Go to www.activefamilymag.com or www.facebook.com/activefamilymag for more info!

JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 39


[ WOMENS ISSUES ]

Jennifer S. White is a voracious reader, obsessive writer, passionate yoga instructor and drinker of hoppy ales. She’s also a devoted mama and wife (a stay-at-home yogi). She considers herself to be one of the funniest people that ever lived and she’s also an identical twin. Jennifer is a columnist for The Huffington Post, A Plus, elephant journal and Be You Media Group, and has over 40 articles published on the wellness website MindBodyGreen. Her yoga-themed column Your Personal Yogi ran in the newspaper Toledo Free Press. She holds a Bachelor’s degree in geology, absolutely no degrees in anything related to literature, and she currently owns a wheel of cheese. If you want to learn more about Jennifer, make sure to check out her writing, as she’s finally put her tendencies to overthink and overshare to good use. Jennifer is the author of The Best Day of Your Life and The Art of Parenting: Love Letters from a Mother, available Amazon and Barnes and Noble. Her brand new book A Quiet Kiss just released this summer, and is also available on Amazon. www.jenniferswhite.com

5 Reasons I’m More Self-Confident in My 30s by Jennifer S. White For the younger women, here’s exactly why (and how) I’m more confident as I grow older. I’ve read so many interviews in magazines from 30-something-year-old celebrities offering that closing in on forty and beyond is glorious, if only because they are finally happy inside of their skin. For me, the girl who was picked on for being chubby when I was younger, and who became eating disordered, and who emotionally, mentally and physically has worked hard to care for and love this body that I inhabit, it seemed like a unicorn myth that once I hit a magical age, everything would

40 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


[ WOMENS ISSUES ] become easier, naturally.

on thigh gaps, and bathing suit bodies, and under-eye circles, and other sad societal standards set through

I was running errands the other day. I was in little yoga

living in a patriarchal culture, and through magazines —

shorts and a tank top. I was with my two small children.

they all drop away, at least a little, at least little by little as

As we piled in the car, and I buckled them into their car

we go through life.

seats, I realized that I didn’t care what my butt and thighs looked like in these tiny shorts. Like — I genuinely didn’t

Taking the time to stop, regardless of our age and our

care.

life’s experiences, and consciously witness the value of who we are and what we offer to the world, and to feel

I climbed into the driver’s seat and just sat there for a

the joys and sorrows, and the brevity of life in general,

second, and really took in this moment when it hit me

this helps remind us that while caring about our bodies

that I had bought these little yoga shorts, and I wear

isn’t necessarily shallow, there are significantly more

these little yoga shorts and I am so happy in my body

important things in life than if yoga shorts give us muffin

that it feels normal doing it.

top.

A few years ago I gave away nearly a dozen bags of

2. My kids don’t care.

clothes. Considering I’m not a big shopper, this meant I had hardly any clothing left. I felt free. Tucked inside one

My kids have no idea if I have a few places of cellulite

of these Hefty bags were at least two pairs of tiny yoga

that show outside my yoga shorts.

shorts my husband got me; shorts I never wore because I felt too insecure, even inside of my own house on my

They have never noticed that I still have a faint Linea

yoga mat.

Nigra from giving birth over a year and a half ago.

Yet here I am, the woman who loves to wear makeup,

They don’t care at all if my stomach has rolls when I sit at

but who doesn’t feel naked anymore if I’m not wearing

our dining table writing.

any when we decide to go to the grocery store. The woman who wears short shorts in public and isn’t

They see me. They see Mom.

concerned with cellulite. They see the woman who runs through the sprinkler with It hit me, as I sat in my hot driver’s seat on a sunny

them. They see the person who spontaneously stopped

afternoon of errands with my children that, at 36, I’m

working out when the sun suddenly appeared, and we

experiencing this mythical, organic shift into feeling

left in my tiny yoga shorts to go for ice cream.

comfortable in my body. While a joyful personal revelation, it still saddens me that this comfort isn’t as

3. Self-care evolves.

readily available for women of all ages, especially women who are even a tiny bit younger than I.

Taking care of my body, as it ages, becomes much more than drinking Diet Coke, and calories, and workouts I

I decided that the following are key pieces of why, as we

don’t like.

age, women become happier with themselves. My body now requires regular sleep. I can’t get away 1. The importance of everything else.

anymore with staying up past midnight, since I have two kids who will still be up by 6 a.m. I don’t even drink soda

Having two children, feeling confident in myself as a

anymore. I haven’t counted calories in a decade.

writer, having a wonderful marriage and also having ups and downs — in short, experiencing these sensations

Because now I focus on eating foods that make me feel

of life, of loss, of work, of family — the importance of

fueled, and energized for my day. I exercise nearly every

these other aspects of life become highlighted as we

day, but I like it. I stopped moving for the sake of burning

live through them. Conversely, the importance we place

off last night’s wine, and I started doing things I enjoy. JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 41


[ WOMENS ISSUES ] Yoga, lifting weights, taking my kids on walks—these are

5. I know myself.

all things I look forward to doing. I know myself, after living with myself for so long. Life I think a big part of this is that life becomes hard enough. Life is beautiful, don’t get me wrong, but adulting isn’t always easy, so the unnecessary battles have fallen away. The funny thing I’ve noticed, too, is that when I stop fighting myself, I make space to be my own friend.

experience offers self-awareness, and this awareness is the key, ultimately, to this comfort I longed for, for so many years. All of the self-exploration I’ve done was beneficial, but so was learning to see worth in where I am right now; in who

4. My opinion matters.

I am right now. It’s okay to have goals and expectations, Women, especially, aren’t always taught that our

but as I grow older, I see how so many of the things I

opinions matter. We are too easily told that we are too

wanted when I was younger are already here in my life.

loud, or too this or too that. It wasn’t until I accepted that, yes, I might be loud, but there is no “too” — there’s just me — that I stopped judging myself when I don’t need to.

Life goes quickly. And as I buckled my kids into my car, and turned on the radio and asked them if they wanted to go get ice cream, I looked down at my yoga shorts

I value self-growth, and I value considering that others’

and saw a little spider vein on my thigh.

opinions of us might offer glimmers of wisdom that could be beneficial if we can drop being defensive, but there

I understood it’s not that I’m 36 and think my body is

comes a point when our opinion of ourselves has to be

perfect, it’s that I know how imperfect I am, and I love

the only truth.

myself for it.

Dr. Ozzie Jafarnia

DDS, Board Certified

Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry

Dr. Noyan Aynechi DDS, Board Certified

Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry

Nothing is more beautiful than your child’s smile!

Welcome to Danville Pediatric Dentistry and Orthodontics! ! Our office is committed to providing excellent preventative care for children in a warm, positive, and compassionate environment. We specialize in comprehensive dental care for children of all ages with an emphasis on prevention and health. As your child grows, we are able to provide comprehensive orthodontic care for children and teens. This is to help create and maintain a healthy smile into adulthood. We will do so by providing excellent treatment at the right time for the right reason with integrity, honesty and a caring heart.

Your child’s smile is our top priority. We are committed to making it the happiest, healthiest and straightest smile possible. After all, nothing is more beautiful than your child's smile! 4145 Blackhawk Plaza Circle, Ste. 203, Danville

Dr. Reem Stephanos DDS, MS

925-837-7745 • drozzie.com

Specialist in Orthodontics

42 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


[ SUMMER CAMP GUIDE ]

OUR CAMP CONFORMS TO KIDS. NOT THE OTHER WAY AROUND.

“GO WITH THE FLOW” IS OUR MIDDLE NAME. JUST KIDDING, IT’S “AND.”

Instead of a rigid structure, we give our campers choice. Instead of teaching kids the typical way, we give them tools and gentle guidance to help them become autodidacts, people who teach themselves. Kids choose from: stop motion animation, coding, sports in a custom stadium, bread-making, waterslides and much more.

Our policy is as flexible as you need it to be. You can buy a whole summer membership or you can purchase as many day passes as you want. Use the passes whenever. Didn’t use them? No sweat. We’ll give you a full refund for unused passes. And best of all, you don’t even have to tell us when you’re coming. Ta-da. Camp just got easier.

CODING STUDIO

PRE-K THROUGH 7TH

40+ LOCATIONS

STEVEANDKATE.COM

JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 43


[ SUMMER CAMP GUIDE ]

A traditional summer camp experience

925.937.6500

44 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016

•

Adventuredaycamp.com


[ SUMMER CAMP ]

PERSONALIZED INSTRUCTION FOR ADULTS, CHILDREN AND TODDLERS.

Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area

ACTIVE FAMILY IS HIRING!

SUMMER CAMPS & HORSEMANSHIP CLINICS

We are seeking qualified Advertising Sales Representatives! This position allows flexibility to work from home and around your children’s schedules!

.............................................

Coaching for the beginner and competitive show rider.

Looking for self-disciplined, driven and goaloriented people who can pick up the phone, find the marketing decision maker, engage people and convey our value proposition! You will be working closely with Marketing Managers/Directors of large organizations as well as local business owners. Commission-based with additional bonus opportunity if quota is met/exceeded. Company is growing quickly and has opportunities for upward mobility.

CALL NOW FOR MORE INFO:

925.960.9696

............................................. Ask for:

Samantha Lazone & Barbara EnDean •

5111 Dolan Rd, Livermore CA 94551

www.showstables.com

Please send resume and cover letter to: info@activefamilymag.com

Adventure and Learning Await!

June 13 – August 10

SUMMER CAMP 2016 at The Growing Room

Learn all summer long with weekly themes, special events, competitions and enrichment classes such as Robotics, 3D Printing, Sports, Fitness, Chess, and Art!

Grades K-5

Register Early

thegrowingroom.org/camps Weekly Adventure field trips include destinations such as: CA Academy of Sciences, Lost Worlds Adventures, Movies & Bowling, City Beach, CuriOdyssey, Oakland A's Game, Cafe Art & Chili's, Rockin' Jump and the Community Pools and Parks

Academy | Live Oak| Tassajara Hills | Hidden Hills | Neil Armstrong JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 45


[ SUMMER CAMP ]

“Satisfaction of one's curiosity is one of the greatest sources of happiness in life.” –Linus Pauling CHRISTIAN SCHOOLS Still Enrolling All Grades! Call us today to schedule a Campus Tour! Preschool - 12th Grade | 7500 Inspiration Drive | Dublin, CA 94568 | ValleyChristianSchools.org Contact Daly Johnson | Director of Admissions | (925) 560-6262 or dmjohnson@valleychristianschools.org



Spanish Immersion Classes & Camps  Engaging curriculum uses music, art & games

 

 Experienced, dynamic teachers  Ages toddlers to teens   Small class sizes

 

r Join us fo g, in ll te story mes a g , rt a music, F f UN & TONS o l! ño - in espa Mention ACTIVE FAMILY and receive a FREE first time trial class!

www.vivaelespanol.org • 925-962-9177 Lafayette • Pleasanton • And schools all over the Bay Area 46 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2016


®

Preschool

Education is a Lifelong Commitment

®

Discover Quarry Lane

NOW ENROLLING Join our Open House every Wednesday! www.QuarryLane.org/Preschool

Toddler, Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten Academic-Based Curriculum Passionate, Experienced Educators

PLEASANTON WEST CAMPUS Preschool and Pre-Kindergarten 4444B Black Ave., Pleasanton, CA

925.462.6300

Full and Half Day Schedules Computer, Spanish, Music, P.E., and Library Two Preschool Campuses in Pleasanton

PLEASANTON EAST CAMPUS Infant through Pre-Kindergarten 3750 Boulder St., Pleasanton, CA

925.846.9400

JULY 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 47 CA Licenses: 013411303, 013411304, 013411305, 013417681


Summertime Drug-Free solutions for ADD/ADHD Summer is an excellent time to work on improving your focus and attention, reducing impulsivity, improving your reading rate, comprehension and accuracy, improving listening skills and learning how to filter out distractions. Comprehensive Brain Wellness Center offers comprehensive neuro-psychological and educational assessments to identify the true causes of your child’s difficulties. Once the root causes have been clearly identified, we can offer non-medication based solutions to improve symptoms most often associated or mistaken for ADD/ADHD, Auditory processing, Sensory processing, Dyslexia (reading disorder), Learning Disorders, Aspergers and autism. Our techniques – developed at NASA, UCLA, UCSF, among other prestigious institutions – are safe, Comprehensive Brain Wellness Center noninvasive, fun and drug-free, with sustained, longterm results and without negative side effects.

You will see measurable results!

Comprehensive Brain Wellness Center Call for a consultation appointment today:

800.216.6410 www.brain123.com Offices in San Jose, San Ramon and San Francisco to serve you. Some of the services offered by us are considered to be alternative or complementary to medication, and therefor those services and their providers are not

48 ACTIVE FAMIL Y |regulated JULY by 2016 the State of California and are not required to be performed by medical doctors.


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