Active Family Magazine - August 2016

AUGUST 2016

YOUR SPOUSE OR YOUR KIDS IS ONE A PRIORITY?

BACKPACK REVIEW

BACK TO SCHOOL: Making the Shift a Little Easier

Check out these stylish back-to-school must-haves!

DIVE INTO THE NEXT FRONTIER

Now open

Learn how scientific divers are discovering diverse and little-known coral reef frontiers hundreds of feet below the ocean’s surface. Come face to face with vibrant marine life from these uncharted ecosystems.

Get tickets at calacademy.org Generously supported by 2 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

Volume 3 / Issue 31 [ PARENTING ] Helping Kids Kick the “Helpless” Habit

8 The Day I Stopped Saying ‘Hurry Up’

14

Parenting the Introverted or Extraverted Child

Discover Downtown Walnut Creek

34

26

[ PRODUCTS WE LOVE ]

Summer Camping Guide

Backpack Feature

10

[ CHILDRENS HEALTH ] Ask a UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Expert

[ EVENTS ]

Back to School: Making the Shift a Little Easier

22

32

August Calendar

30

20 [ SEASONAL FUN ]

Your Spouse or Your Kids – Is One a Priority?

24

Staycation

18

10 4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

20

32

SPORTS MEDICINE CENTER FOR YOUNG ATHLETES Free 2016 Lectures & Hands-On Workshops

FREE AND OPEN TO:

RSVP:

• • • •

Walnut Creek 925-979-3420

Athletes age 9 to 25 and parents Youth sports coaches Athletic trainers Athletic directors

Oakland 510-428-3558

Walnut Creek Campus, 2401 Shadelands Dr., Walnut Creek Oakland Campus, 744 52nd St., Oakland

Attend in person or watch live online.

Baseball

Nutrition

ACL Prevention

Dance Medicine

Swimming: Stretches & Exercises

Strength in the Young Athlete

Tuesday, June 28, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Tuesday, October 25, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Tuesday, January 26, 7-8 p.m.

Oakland Campus

Tuesday, February 23, 7-8 p.m.

Oakland Campus

Running Clinic

Tuesday, March 22, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Gymnastics

Tuesday, April 26, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Tuesday, May 24, 7-8 p.m.

Oakland Campus

Tuesday, September 27, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Volleyball

Basketball

Tuesday, July 26, 7-8 p.m.

Oakland Campus

Tuesday, November 15, 7-8 p.m.

Oakland Campus

Concussion

Wrestling

Tuesday, August 23, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Tuesday, December 13, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Attend in person or watch live online at bitly.com/sportslectures2016 Oakland 510-428-3558

San Francisco 415-353-2808

San Ramon 925-979-3450

744 52nd St. Oakland, CA 94609

1500 Owens Street San Francisco, CA 94158

2303 Camino Ramon, Suite 175 San Ramon, CA 94583

Walnut Creek Center: 925-979-3430 Motion Lab: 925-979-3420 2401 Shadelands Dr. Walnut Creek, CA 94598

Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area Publisher/Editor

Marketing Assistant Interns

Contributing Authors

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Jaida Sinclair Alexis Faria

Amy McCready Rachel Macy Stafford Dr. Meg Meeker Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Lourdes DelRosso, MD, FAASM The Growing Room

Advertising Sales Director

Fashion Editor

Kathy Brillheart kbrillheart@activefamilymag.com

Rachel Fawkes www.fawkeshunter.com

Advertising Sales Managers April Gentry agentry@activefamilymag.com

Design/Production

Mary Oakes moakes@activefamilymag.com

Ad Design/Production

Teresa Agnew Craft Lara Mays

Sherry Maas smaas@activefamilymag.com

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709 Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note While we are still in the midst of summer, we are forced to shift gears and start preparing for back to school. Although I have most definitely enjoyed extra time with the kids and we have created some fabulous new memories, I am looking forward to the new school year and getting back on a regular schedule. On page 22, Dr. Meg Meeker offers invaluable advice on how to make the transition back to school as seamless as possible! Do check out our favorite backpacks on page 10. Plenty of options to choose from for any age and grade level.

We still have a few carefree weeks left of summer vacation, so be sure to take a look at our Staycation Guide on page 18 and grab the family, pack up the car and have fun! As always, our monthly calendar is jam-packed with hours of entertainment around the Bay, so flip to page 20 for inspiration.

Enjoy the rest of your summer!

Best, Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

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[ PARENTING ]

Parenting expert and “recovering yeller” Amy McCready is the Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and the author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time…

The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling (Penguin, 2011.) Amy is a regular parenting contributor on The TODAY Show and has also appeared on Rachael Ray, CBS This Morning, CNN, Fox & Friends, MSNBC, Steve Harvey and elsewhere. In her most important role, she plays mom to two teenage boys. Follow Amy on Twitter @AmyMcCreadyPPS.

Helping Kids Kick the “Helpless” Habit

by Amy McCready Empowering Your Child to be Capable & Self-Sufficient Fellow parents… raise your hand if you ever feel the overwhelming sense of irritation when your child asks you (maybe for the fifteenth time) to do something he or she can totally do for themselves. Is your hand up in the air?

Take comfort – you’re not alone!

All families deal with helplessness from time to time. If feigned helplessness is a once-in-a-blue moon occurrence at your house – no big deal. We all have our moments! However, if your child acts helpless on a daily basis for things he can and should be doing for himself, it’s time to put the brakes on that behavior!

The type of helplessness we need to reign in is when kids ask (demand, whine for) us to do things they are perfectly capable of doing for themselves.

Depending on the age of your child, it might be something like, “Daaaaaad, I need you to ‘butter my bread’, ‘tie my shoe’, or ‘get me a juice box.’”

You KNOW they can do it. THEY know they can do it. They are choosing to act helpless to keep you at their beck and call – to get you to jump through hoops to meet their whims and demands. This kind of helplessness is called Special

8 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

[ PARENTING ] Service and it’s a classic power struggle. It’s not only

past few mornings, you seemed to have trouble when

aggravating – it creates unrealistic expectations for your

getting dressed/putting on your shoes, etc. Let’s take

child that their every wish will be granted, and that’s not healthy for anyone!

You might be thinking, “What’s wrong with helping our

a few minutes to practice so you know exactly what to do tomorrow morning.” Train her on the how-to’s and role play it.

kids, Amy?” Rest assured, there’s nothing wrong with helping one another when needed. A family is a team and we have each other’s backs. However, when “helplessness” is really a demand for Special Service, the

• Set the expectation: “You are growing up in so many ways and from now on – YOU are going to be

child is manipulating the parent for attention or power.

responsible for_______ . I know you can do it!”

How do you know if it’s Special Service or just a normal

• Walk away. If they pull the helpless card in the

request?

Simple: Your gut will tell you. Here’s an example: You

moment, be totally unimpressed and walk away! With a smile on your face, simply say, “I’m confident you

are standing next to the silverware drawer and your

can handle it. I’ll be downstairs when you’re ready for

daughter says, “Mom, can you grab a spoon for me?”

breakfast.” (The exit is essential. If you stay in the room,

You say, “sure” and hand her a spoon. No big deal. It’s a

you’re sure to get sucked right back into the power

perfectly reasonable request.

struggle.)

Example two: You are busy pack ing lunches and you let your daughter know it’s time to leave in 5 minutes. She breaks into a chorus of “Moooooooom, I need you to help me get dressed! I can’t do it.” You KNOW she can do it. You’ve seen her do it. She is playing the helpless card to get the attention and power hit of a “special service” request.

In the spoon example – it was a perfectly reasonable request and there was no emotion involved. In the getting dressed example, you felt annoyed in the moment because you KNOW she is ACTING helpless and

• If time is of the essence, include the task as part of a When-Then Routine: “I’m confident you can do it, honey. WHEN you are dressed, THEN we’ll have breakfast. But remember the kitchen closes at 7:30. See you downstairs!” It works like a dream.

Will your kids try to pull the helpless card again? Most likely, they will! After all, acting helpless has worked for them in the past!

now you’re ticked. It’s the gut feeling that tells you it’s special service.

That irritated feeling is your gut’s way of telling you to activate your parenting superpowers and not give in to

However, with practice and consistency on your part, they’ll get the point that you won’t jump through hoops at their every whim and demand.

demands that your kids can, and should, do themselves.

Instead?

In short order, your kids will feel empowered because they will become more and more capable (at something

Put these four strategies in place: • Take time to train your child to do the task all by

other than manipulating mom or dad)! You’ll feel empowered that your kids are learning to manage their

themselves. Remember, marketing is everything so

own tasks in addition to you getting a much deserved

position the training in a positive light. “Sweetie, the

break! (Go you!)

AUGUST 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9

[ PRODUCTS WE LOVE ]

These sleek, stylish backpack keeps kids looking cool at all times. With a built-in hood it’s also the coolest way to stay dry in the rain, because superheroes can’t be bothered with umbrellas! Simply pull the hidden hood out of a pocket at the top of the backpack and go under cover. The backpacks are made from environmentally friendly, insulating EVA to keep snacks & drinks fresh. Perfect for early elementary school students (ages 5-10) and can easily fit a school folder, text book, small laptop, change of clothes, snacks and a water bottle. A starter SuperME Velcro patch comes with each backpack, and there is the option to personalize with your own hero name or initials patch. www.supermehero.com.

Every year hundreds of thousands of kids buy backpacks in preparation to go back to school. This year your child’s backpack can make a difference that goes beyond the classroom. At Sydney Paige giving back is always in style. Not only are their backpacks colorful, fashionable and durable, but they also help a child in need get the necessary tools to be academically successful. For every Sydney Paige backpack sold, the company donates a matching bag to a child in need, filled with school supplies! Customers can even choose which nonprofit the donations go to. Sydney Paige backpacks are made from eco-friendly materials of 100% cotton canvas, natural leather, nickel free hardware and recycled polyester where possible. www.sydneypaige.com

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[ PRODUCTS WE LOVE ]

The Obersee Kids Pre-School All-In-One Backpack with Cooler is the perfect solution for active kids. The front pocket of the backpack is an insulated lunch cooler, so kids no longer have to tote an additional lunch bag! For ultimate comfort, the back features a padded breathable mesh lumbar section and the straps are constructed with the same padded breathable mesh. Additionally, the backpack measures 10 in x 14.5 in x 5.5 in and is large enough to fit a standard size school folder. Ages 3+. www.obersee.com www.sydneypaige.com.

AUGUST 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11

[ PRODUCTS WE LOVE ]

The Something Strong line is one of our favorites for big kids. Whether they prefer a messenger style bag or traditional backpack, Something Strong has various items to choose from. www.somethingstrong.com backpack, 2 side storage pockets.

Magnetic snap closure, inside laptop holder, phone pocket. 6. SOMETHING STRIKING – Canvas and wool

12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

[ PRODUCTS WE LOVE ]

has updated their collection of 24 stylish and durable campus backpacks that come in a wide variety of styles, colors, and sizes. Price points range from $34.99$99.99. www.granitegear.com. The Campus packs are outfitted with: BARRIER water repellant fabrics. Gear-Tec sleeve for laptops. High-density EVA foam shoulder straps. Load-bearing waist belts. Slim profile for a comfortable carry. Lifetime guarantee!

Granite Gear’s Buffalo will have you turning heads in the classroom this year. Made tall and slim for easy packing, this pack is designed with Repelaweave and Taurpalite fabrics for weather protection. At 32 liters, the Buffalo is larger than most others in the Barrier backpack line. This space is conveniently divided into multiple compartments to facilitate organization. Also includes zippered stash pocket, a Gear-Tec laptop sleeve and a multi-pocket organizer.

Let Granite Gear’s Superior take on your heaviest load this school year. The largest pack equipped with the most features, it’s designed to be tall and slim to efficiently accommodate laptops, books and lunches. The Superior is made with Taurpalite and Repelaweave fabrics for optimum durability and weather resistance. Zippered-side pockets, a useful organization panel, and a Barrier-zippered stash pocket keep everything well organized and well protected.

Granite Gear’s Brule is 34 liters of stylish, spacious and functional campus pack. The Brule features ventilated, load absorbing shoulder straps, a comfortable foam back panel, and a load bearing hide-away hip belt that can help to take the pressure off your shoulders. This pack also has a dedicated Gear-Tec computer sleeve and dual stretch mesh hydration pockets. This semester’s must-have.

AUGUST 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13

[ PARENTING ]

Rachel Macy Stafford is a certified special education teacher with a Master’s Degree in education and ten years of experience working with parents and children. In December 2010, this life-long writer felt compelled to share her journey to let go of distraction and grasp what really matters by creating the blog “Hands Free Mama.” Using her skills as a writer, teacher, and encourager, Rachel provides readers with simple, non-intimidating, and motivating methods to let go of distraction and connect with their loved ones. Rachel’s work has been featured on CNN, Good Morning America, Global News, USA Today, TIME.com, MSN.com, The Huffington Post, and Reader’s Digest. Her blog currently averages one million visitors a month. Rachel’s new book, HANDS FREE MAMA, is a New York Times Bestseller.

The Day I Stopped Saying ‘Hurry Up’

by Rachel Macy Stafford When you’re living a distracted life, every minute must be accounted for. You feel like you must be checking something off the list, staring at a screen, or rushing off to the next destination. And no matter how many ways you divide your time and attention, no matter how many duties you try and multi-task, there’s never enough time in a day to ever catch up.

That was my life for two frantic years. My thoughts and actions were controlled by electronic notifications, ring tones, and jam-packed agendas. And although every fiber of my inner drill sergeant wanted to be on time to every activity on my overcommitted schedule, I wasn’t.

You see, six years ago I was blessed with a laid-back, carefree, stop-and-smellthe roses type of child.

When I needed to be out the door, she was taking her sweet time picking out

14 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

[ PARENTING ] a purse and a glittery crown.

so slow.” And when she crossed her arms and let out an exasperated sigh, I saw myself — and it was a gut-

When I needed to be somewhere five minutes ago, she

wrenching sight.

insisted on buckling her stuffed animal into a car seat.

I was a bully who pushed and pressured and hurried a When I needed to grab a quick lunch at Subway, she’d

small child who simply wanted to enjoy life.

stop to speak to the elderly woman who looked like her grandma.

My eyes were opened; I saw with clarity the damage my hurried existence was doing to both of my children.

When I had 30 minutes to get in a run, she wanted me to stop the stroller and pet every dog we passed.

Although my voice trembled, I looked into my small child’s eyes and said, “I am so sorry I have been making

When I had a full agenda that started at 6:00 a.m., she

you hurry. I love that you take your time, and I want to be

asked to crack the eggs and stir them ever so gently.

more like you.”

My carefree child was a gift to my Type A, task-driven

Both my daughters looked equally surprised by my

nature —but I didn’t see it. Oh no, when you live life

painful admission, but my younger daughter’s face held

distracted, you have tunnel vision — only looking ahead

the unmistakable glow of validation and acceptance.

to what’s next on the agenda. And anything that cannot be checked off the list is a waste of time.

“I promise to be more patient from now on,” I said as I hugged my curly-haired child who was now beaming at

Whenever my child caused me to deviate from my

her mother’s newfound promise.

master schedule, I thought to myself, “We don’t have time for this.” Consequently, the two words I most

It was pretty easy to banish “hurry up” from my

commonly spoke to my little lover of life were: “Hurry up.”

vocabulary. What was not so easy was acquiring the patience to wait on my leisurely child. To help us both, I

I started my sentences with it.

began giving her a little more time to prepare if we had

Hurry up, we’re gonna be late.

to go somewhere. And sometimes, even then, we were

I ended sentences with it.

still late. Those were the times I assured myself that I will

We’re going to miss everything if you don’t hurry up.

be late only for a few years, if that, while she is young.

I started my day with it.

Hurry up and eat your breakfast.

When my daughter and I took walks or went to the store,

Hurry up and get dressed.

I allowed her to set the pace. And when she stopped to

I ended my day with it.

admire something, I would push thoughts of my agenda

Hurry up and brush your teeth.

out of my head and simply observe her. I witnessed

Hurry up and get in bed.

expressions on her face that I’d never seen before. I studied dimples on her hands and the way her eyes

And although the words “hurry up” did little if nothing to

crinkled up when she smiled. I saw the way other people

increase my child’s speed, I said them anyway. Maybe

responded to her stopping to take time to talk to them. I

even more than the words, “I love you.”

saw the way she spotted the interesting bugs and pretty flowers. She was a Noticer, and I quickly learned that The

The truth hurts, but the truth heals... and brings me closer

Noticers of the world are rare and beautiful gifts. That’s

to the parent I want to be.

when I finally realized she was a gift to my frenzied soul.

Then one fateful day, things changed. We’d just picked

My promise to slow down was made almost three years

my older daughter up from kindergarten and were

ago, at the same time I began my journey to let go of

getting out of the car. Not going fast enough for her

daily distraction and grasp what matters in life. And

liking, my older daughter said to her little sister, “You are

living at a slower pace still takes a concerted effort. My AUGUST 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15

[ PARENTING ] younger daughter is my living reminder of why I must keep trying. In fact, the other day, she reminded me once again.

The two of us had taken a bike ride to a sno-cone shack while on vacation. After purchasing a cool treat for my

Seatbelt buckling Egg cracking Seashell finding Ladybug watching

daughter, she sat down at a picnic table delightedly admiring the icy tower she held in her hand.

Sidewalk strolling

Suddenly a look of worry came across her face. “Do I have to rush, Mama?”

I will not say, “We don’t have time for this.” Because that

I could have cried. Perhaps the scars of a hurried life

is basically saying, “We don’t have time to live.”

don’t ever completely disappear, I thought sadly.

As my child looked up at me waiting to know if she could take her time, I knew I had a choice. I could sit there in sorrow thinking about the number of times I rushed my

Pausing to delight in the simple joys of everyday life is the only way to truly live.

child through life... or I could celebrate the fact that today I’m trying to do thing differently.

I chose to live in today.

(Trust me, I learned from the world’s leading expert on joyful living.)

“You don’t have to rush. Just take your time,” I said gently. Her whole face instantly brightened and her shoulders relaxed.

Before and after School Care For students entering TK to 5th grade in PUSD

And so we sat side-by-side talking about things that ukulele-playing-6-year-olds talk about. There were even moments when we sat in silence just smiling at each other and admiring the sights and sounds around us.

I thought my child was going to eat the whole darn thing — but when she got to the last bite, she held out a spoonful of ice crystals and sweet juice for me. “I saved the last bite for you, Mama,” my daughter said proudly.

As I let the icy goodness quench my thirst, I realized I just got the deal of a lifetime.

I gave my child a little time... and in return, she gave me her last bite and reminded me that things taste sweeter and love comes easier when you stop rushing through life.

Whether it’s ...

Sno-cone eating Flower picking 16 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

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[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Family Staycation & Travel Guide

S TAY C AT I O N A staycation is a period in which an individual or family stays home and participates in leisure activities within driving distance, sleeping in their own bed at night.

1.

GILROY GARDENS

This local amusement park and botanical wonderland is a family favorite, featuring over 40 rides, gardens and exhibits! Rides include the Quicksilver Express Mine Coaster themed after a local abandoned mine, South County Backroads and Gilroy Gardens very own railroad! Exhibits include their collection of world famous Circus Trees, a rock maze, and the Learning Sheds. And you won’t want to miss out on their six majestic gardens throughout the park. On top of this Check out their many fun-filled water play areas where you can cool off in the summer heat by going down a slide in a giant Circus Tree, walking behind their majestic Bonfante Falls or getting squirted in a colorful play area. And for those who don’t want to get wet---take a ride in a round boat on the lake. This amusement park is more chill than thrill, making it perfect for families of all ages to enjoy!

2.

HALF MOON BAY

Located on the Pacific Coast between forested – Half Moon Bay has some of the most beautiful Coastlines that California has to offer. With its historic downtown, shops, art galleries, restaurants, accommodations, beaches, parks, golf courses, nurseries, and farms, it’s a wonderful local and regional destination. For those who are interested in shopping enjoy a walk down Main Street where you’ll find a good variety of small local shops including book and music stores. When your done exploring the shops walk a block down to see the old one-room jailhouse, one of the oldest churches around. Want to explore the coast?

Then you should head over to Princeton-by-the-Sea, a beautiful little harbor town that has been a SF tourist destination since the early 1900s. Here you can enjoy some good local walks along the pier, kayak rentals, surfing beaches, sport fishing, and whale sighting tours.

Great restaurants on the pier include: Mezza Luna southern Italian style food, Sam’s Chowder House a variety of seafood, and Cafe Gibralter a fine Mediterranean style restaurant.

Half Moon Bay is a perfect destination for a day full of exploration.

18 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

3.

has two launch points in the area offering

TOMALES BAY

guided tours, independent rentals and

For a quick escape out of town enjoy a

even introductory classes. And when

short yet scenic drive to Tomales Bay. If

you work up an appetite enjoy a local

you decide to stay for the night there are

favorite: The Marshall Store, where they’ll

numerous family-friendly places to stay.

The High Tide Cottage, with its own private beach or the Apple Garden Cottage,

serve you oysters anyway you want them.

And for those who don’t eat fish there are other great items on the menu for

with it’s own beautiful old apple orchard

them to enjoy. Cheese lovers must also

are a select few places to stay. Once checked in you can enjoy hiking, boating,

check out the Cowgirl Creamery, where

and eating at fantastic restaurants. Visitors

you can observe award-winning cheeses

can embark on a 2.5 mile hike through

being made and enjoy good local and

the Tomales Point trail where native Tule

international cheeses. Whatever you

Elk can be spotted. Or for those seeking

decide, you’ll find Tomales Bay makes for

more adventure, Blue Waters Kayaking

an incredibly convenient getaway.

4.

MUIR WOODS

Everyone should experience the natural beauty of Northern California first hand and Muir Woods is the perfect place to see it. The majestic and imposing redwoods and trails providing beautiful jaw dropping views makes for an easy day or half day trip. Once you arrive, head towards the Visitor’s Center when you can request assistive listening devices for Ranger led tours. With numerous trails being provided you are able to customize your hike through the trees to match the ages and ability of your kids. Muir Woods is a National Monument run by the National Park Service so your kids can participate in the Junior Ranger program during their visit as well. Make sure you bring plenty of water and snacks to last throughout the trails! You can either picnic on one of the benches provided throughout the trails or enjoy lunch at the Muir Wood Trading Company or Siren Canteen & Café. You won’t regret taking in all that Muir Woods has to offer

AUGUST 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19

[ EVENTS ]

August Alameda County AUGUST 1 Adult and Teen Summer Reading “Once Upon a Summer” Pleasanton Library Pleasanton 10:00am – 9:00pm www.cityofpleasantonca.gov

AUGUST 4 Waterfront Flicks Downtown Pleasant Hill Pleasant Hill 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.shopdowntownpleasanthill.com

Movies in the Park, Ant Man Amador Valley Community Park Pleasanton 8:45pm – 10:45pm www.cityofpleasantonca.gov Junior Solar Sprint Challenge Lawrence Hall of Science Berkeley 10:00am – 3:00pm www.lawrencehallofscience.org

AUGUST 5 Pleasanton Community Campout Bernal Community Park Pleasanton All Day www.pleasantonfun.com

AUGUST 5 - 7 Gem Faire Alameda County Fairgrounds Pleasanton 12:00pm- 5:00pm www.gemfaire.com

AUGUST 5, 12, 19 & 26 Friday Nights @ OMCA Oakland Museum of California Oakland 5:00pm – 10:00pm www.museumca.org/friday-nights-omca

20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

AUGUST 6, 13, 20 & 27

AUGUST 14

Family Sundown Safari Oakland Zoo Oakland 5:00pm www.oaklandzoo.org/Family_Sundown_Safari.php

Teddy Bear Tea With Friends Oakland Zoo Oakland 9:30am – 12:00pm www.oaklandzoo.org

AUGUST 6 – 7

Outdoor Movie Night: “Frozen” Sing-Along Alamo Creek Park Dublin 7:00pm www.dublin.ca.gov

Fremont Festival of the Arts Walnut Avenue Fremont 10:00am – 6:00pm www.fremontfestival.net

AUGUST 19

AUGUST 11

AUGUST 20 – 21

Animal Feeding Ardenwood Historic Farm Fremont 3:00pm – 3:30pm www.ebparks.org

Fairyland Summer Sleepovers Children’s Fairyland Oakland 5:45pm – 8:30pm www.fairyland.org

Movies in the Park, ET the Extra Terrestrial Amador Valley Community Park Pleasanton 8:45pm – 10:45pm www.cityofpleasantonca.gov

AUGUST 26

“Dublin Cooks Night” Emerald Glen Park Dublin 4:00pm – 8:00pm www.dublin.ca.gov

Zoovie Night Oakland Zoo Oakland 6:30pm – 9:30pm www.oaklandzoo.org

AUGUST 12

Contra Costa County

Family Friday Nite Splash Aqua Adventure Water Park Fremont 4:00pm – 8:00pm www.goaquaadventure.com

AUGUST 13 Cajun- Zydeco Music Festival Ardenwood Historic Farm Fremont 10:00am – 7:00pm www.ebparks.org

AUGUST 13 - 14 Family Campout Alamo Creek Park Dublin 4:30pm – 10:00am www.dublin.ca.gov

Animal Encounters Show Oakland Zoo Oakland Times Vary www.oaklandzoo.org

AUGUST 2 Concerts in the Park, Spill the Wine Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.cityoforinda.org

AUGUST 3 Walnut Creek First Wednesdays Cypress Street Walnut Creek 5:00pm – 8:00pm www.walnutcreekdowntown.com

[ EVENTS ]

August AUGUST 4

AUGUST 11

Pleasant Hill Concert Series Downtown Pleasant Hill Pleasant Hill 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.shopdowntownpleasanthill.com

SAT Practice Test Pleasant Hill Library Pleasant Hill 1:00am – 3:30pm www.ccclib.org

Movie in the Park, Inside Out Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 8:00pm – 10:00pm www.cityoforinda.org

Hot Summer Nights Car Show Hartz Avenue Danville 4:00pm – 9:00pm www.danville.ca.gov/calendar/

AUGUST 5

AUGUST 12

Summer Concert Series - Pride & Joy Blackhawk Plaza Danville 7:00pm – 8:30pm www.shopblackhawkplaza.com/ eventscalendar

The Bubble Lady Village Theater Danville Times Vary www.villagetheatreshows.com

AUGUST 6 The 31st Annual Music in the Park Series Town Green Danville 6:00pm – 8:00pm www.danville.ca.gov/calendar/

AUGUST 6 – 7 Family Campout at Mt. Diablo State Park Mt. Diablo State Park Danville 12:00pm – 12:00pm www.danville.ca.gov/calendar/

Summer Concert Series - Stealin’ Chicago Blackhawk Plaza Danville 7:00pm – 8:30pm www.shopblackhawkplaza.com/ eventscalendar

AUGUST 18 Movie in the Park, Good Dinosaur Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 8:00pm – 10:00pm www.cityoforinda.org

The Notorious Rattlesnake Lindsay Wildlife Museum Walnut Creek 2:00pm – 3:00pm www.lindsaywildlife.org

AUGUST 9

AUGUST 20

Concert in the Park, Dave Alt 18 Piece Orinda Community Center Park Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.cityoforinda.org

AUGUST 21 Kids Bowl Free Diablo Valley Bowl Concord 10:00am – 4:00pm www.kidsbowlfree.com/state. php?state=CA

AUGUST 24 Pajama Science Walnut Creek Library Walnut Creek 6:30pm – 7:15pm www.ccclib.org

AUGUST 26 Model Railroad Show Walnut Creek Model Railroad Society Walnut Creek 8:00pm www.wcmrs.org

AUGUST 29 Mini Monday: Dig into Dinosaurs Lindsay Wildlife Experience Walnut Creek 10:00am – 12:00pm www.lindsaywildlife.org

AUGUST 19 Summer Concert Series- Queen Nation Blackhawk Plaza Danville 7:00pm – 8:30pm www.shopblackhawkplaza.com/ eventscalendar

AUGUST 7

Public Art Walking Tour Lesher Center for the Arts Walnut Creek 11:00am – 12:00pm www.publicartwalnutcreek.org

Breakfast With the Animals Lindsay Wildlife Experience Walnut Creek 9:00am – 10:00am www.lindsaywildlife.org

Email info@activefamilymag.com to subscribe to our weekly email blast for more events!

AUGUST 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21

[ PARENTING ] Dr. Meeker is a pediatrician, who has practiced pediatric and adolescent medicine for 25 years. She is the author of six books including the best-selling Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: Ten Secrets Every Father Should Know; Boys Should Be Boys; Your Kids At Risk;, The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity; Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: The 30 Day Challenge and Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men, (Ballantine) April 2014. She is a popular speaker on pediatric health issues and child-parent relationships.

Dr. Meeker is co-host and physicianin-residence of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk Radio. She is also Assistant Clinical Professor at Michigan State University College of Human Medicine and currently teaches medical students and physicians in residency training.

She is board certified with the American Board of Pediatrics and is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Dr. Meeker serves on the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute. She has been married to her husband, Walter for 32 years. They have shared a medical practice for over 20 years.

They have three grown daughters and a grown son. She lives in northern Michigan.

Back to School:

Making the Shift a Little Easier

by Dr. Meg Meeker Some of you have been back to school going on a few weeks now and the shift into the fall season for many kids can be a tough time—even if they’re eager to get back to school. And if the transition for them is tough, that means you’ll have your hands full. Crabby, overtired kids means stressed parents.

I’ve been through the shift many times as a mother, and I’ve watched it in thousands of patients over the years. Here are a few things that I have learned help make life a little easier during this time 1. One more hour matters Studies have shown that when kids get even one more hour of sleep per night, they concentrate and perform better at school. It may not seem like much to an adult, but to a growing child, sixty extra minutes of snooze time helps make them less irritable and it makes teachers (and you) happier, too.

So, move their bedtime an hour back. If this is too tough to do all at once, then start with fifteen minutes, then half an hour, and then one hour.

2. Rework bedtime Many children have difficulty falling asleep at night—especially at the beginning of a school year. They are so used to being active up until bedtime

22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

[ PARENTING ] that they have a hard time winding down. If you

plan small outings on the weekend in order to give them

implement good sleep hygiene, they will fall asleep

something to look forward to.

much more easily.

Make sure they stop watching television, playing video games, or being visually stimulated one hour before bedtime. If they want a snack, make sure it is at least half

You many plan to go to a movie, go to a beach, or go on a bike ride. The important thing is to give them a slice of “summer life” back to help them ease away from it.

hour before bedtime and make it light—no heavy foods.

They can listen to soothing music or a book on tape

6. Be patient

(one that is a bit slow moving) to help them wind down.

Many kids take about six weeks to get back into the

One that is particularly good for kids is the Adventures in

rhythm of school, so be patient. Children starting

Odyssey Golden Audio Series.

kindergarten take longer, and many parents hit mid-

3. Make electronics rules clear for everyone Most kids can’t adequately discipline themselves

October wondering what happened to their lovely, easygoing child.

regarding electronic gadgetry use. In my experience, most kids (even teens) want help learning to “turn off”

The kindergarten year is particularly tough for kids, and

stuff but won’t say this. So, begin by making house rules

they need extra sleep (even an afternoon nap) in order

that all electronics stay off from 10-7 am.

to get back on their feet. If you find that you have a

Remember, many kids chat or text one another at night, and this keeps your kids up. If some can’t sleep, they will turn on the Internet to watch a show, play a game, etc.

You may even need to have all electronics left in the

little monster on your hands later in the fall, remember that your kindergartner could be particularly tired from working hard to behave, focus on school, and make new friends.

kitchen for the night. Offer to put your cell phone in the kitchen, too. You may start with every other night and move to every night to make the transition more gradual.

This is extremely important for kids who have difficulty concentrating on the school work.

4. Don’t skip breakfast Many parents (and kids) downplay the importance of the morning meal, but studies show that it makes a big difference in a child’s performance. So, make sure your kids eat a good meal. If they have to get up really early, you can make something the night before and zap it in the morning.

For kids who hate breakfast, drinking breakfast can be a good way to get some calories in. Make smoothies with yogurt, protein powder, and some fruit and they can drink it on the way to school. Even an instant breakfast drink mix is better than no food at all.

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5. Make weekends fun Many kids look forward to getting back to school, but others dread it. They grieve leaving the easy, carefree schedule of summer and lose their enthusiasm for life. So, AUGUST 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23

[ PARENTING ]

Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. is a psychoanalyst with specialized clinical training in infant-parent, child, adolescent, and adult psychotherapy.

She has been on the faculties of New York University and the Society for Psychoanalytic Study and Research, among others. She has written extensively on parenting for various publications, including the Psychoanalytic Study of the Child, The International Journal of Infant Observation, The Inner World of the Mother, Newsday’s Parents & Children Magazine, Long Island Parent.

She writes her popular column, PARENTAL INTELLIGENCE, at Moms Magazine and blogs for Huffington Post. Her new book is Unlocking Parental Intelligence: Finding Meaning in Your Child’s Behavior.

Your Spouse or Your Kids – Is One a Priority?

by Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Spouse or Kids? Who Comes First?

Women struggle with the question of who comes first? My partner or husband versus my children. Maybe it isn’t a question of who comes first all the time, but some of the time. This seems to make more sense and become a more realistic question.

When people say that you’re kids will leave home and your husband or partner is forever, it’s a spurious statement because actually you’re a parent forever, even when your kids are adults. And those adults when they are young, often in fact do come home. College students often live at home and commute to their schools and college graduates often live at home when they are in their first jobs. So when do they actually become official adults?

When Do Kids Come First?

Do infants come first? Sleepless nights and exhaustion fill the first few months of a mother’s life with her baby. You can’t explain to an infant that your husband or partner feels left out and is frustrated with your absence and readiness to fill his or her needs. You need to co-parent to work out this question because of course, infants come first!

24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

[ PARENTING ] This doesn’t mean you can’t get a babysitter or spend

dissimilar. Children need us in different ways than our

time together when the baby sleeps. It just takes a

partners, so we love them differently.

concerted effort because you’re usually pretty tired those early months of a baby’s life. But short times of

Some women joke that their husbands are their “other

togetherness can make all the difference to keep your

child” but if this really feels true, then the partnership

relationship alive and growing.

needs a second look. Parents nurture each other, sometimes one needs more support than the other, but

As kids get older, let’s say elementary school, there’s a lot

it’s an adult love that’s mutual and reciprocal at best.

of chauffeuring and school involvement that’s essential.

If both parents participate, it means things run more

Parents nurture children and help them solve their

smoothly, kids feel close to both parents, and parents

problems. Children express opinions that we should listen

end up with more time together.

to closely and respond to attentively, but we shouldn’t reverse roles and depend on them to help us solve life’s

Even during adolescence, or especially during

problems.

adolescence, kids need their parents’ open-ended time, so they don’t just talk when there are problems. But it’s

What if You Do Love Your Child More Than Your Partner?

good for teens to see their parents enjoy each other. It

Sometimes in failing marriages and troubled adult

shows them what loving relationships at an adult level

relationships, a parent does love their children more

can be all about.

than their partner. This is of course a problem in the adult relationship that needs careful thought, and often

Who Do You Love More? Your Partner or Your Kids?

professional help as early on as possible. Children don’t

Many ask this question. I’ve read it quite often. But we

want their parent to favor them over their other parent. It

don’t love people that are close to us more or less.

makes them anxious. They feel secure when their parents

We love them differently. The bonds are complex and

are loving and secure with each other.

Mischief-maker ... or the next van Gogh?

Your Support Shapes Their Future.

August is Child Support Awareness Month

d

es v ic

Califo r C h il

Su

t of en

Departm nia

p p ort S e

r

Contact your local child support agency today.

California Department of Child Support Services www.childsup.ca.gov

AUGUST 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25

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Movies Under the Stars August 19, Aladdin September 10, Toy Story

Oktoberfest October 15

Trick or Treat October 21

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[ CHILDRENS HEALTH ]

Ask a UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Expert

by Lourdes DelRosso, MD, FAASM Q: Is my child getting enough sleep?

soda, blocks adenosine. Drinking caffeinated products

A: Sleep is crucial for all our daily activities, and a restful

interrupts Process S and makes us stay awake longer. The

night of sleep will allow your child to excel in all his or

effect of caffeine can last up to 6 hours.

her daily activities. Not getting enough sleep can have significant medical and behavioral consequences.

The combination of these two processes results in

The National Sleep Foundation recommends about

a healthy sleep routine. Children need to produce

7-9 hours of sleep for adults and 8-10 hours of sleep for

enough sleep-producing substances during the day,

teens. School-age children need about 11-12 hours of

avoid caffeine, avoid bright lights at bedtime and keep

sleep, toddlers 13-14 hours and infants anywhere from

a consistent bedtime routine.

14-17 hours. When children do not sleep enough they have difficulty waking up in the morning, they are tired

Q: What factors can prevent my child from getting a

during the day, and they have difficulty concentrating

good night’s sleep?

in school. Sleep deprived children are often hyperactive

A: Parents are rightfully concerned about the effects of

and irritable.

Q: How can I get my child to have a regular sleep schedule?

A: Sleep is regulated by two main mechanisms: Process C and Process S. Process C is our circadian clock. This clock is regulated by the light/dark cycle. Bright lights signal our brain that it is daytime and our brain shuts down the production of a hormone called melatonin. This substance sets our sleep time. The opposite occurs at night. In the absence of light, our brain produces melatonin and we start feeling sleepy. In the old days, with lack of artificial light, this cycle worked perfectly. Unfortunately this does not happen in modern society. With the use of electronics our brain receives artificial light from lamps, computers, video games, tablets and smart phones. Children who use electronics at night usually stay awake later.

The second mechanism that regulates sleep is called Process S, also called Homeostatic Drive. During our daily activities, our brain accumulates a substance called adenosine. The more this substance accumulates in our brain, the sleepier we are. In other words, with every hour we are awake we get more tired. When we take a nap during the day, we deplete this substance and we do not feel sleepy until later hours of the night.

For healthy sleep habits, I recommend that older children and adolescents avoid taking naps during the day. Caffeine found in coffee, tea, chocolates and 30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

medical conditions on the sleep quality of their children.

It is very important that these conditions are treated to promote healthy sleep. Children with eczema often itch at night; children with uncontrolled asthma often wake up through the night coughing; children with allergies may have congestion, snoring and difficulty breathing at night. Medications can also affect sleep or have side effects that disturb sleep. Some medications produce insomnia, excessive sleepiness, night terrors, nightmares, or sleepwalking. Before starting a new medication either prescribed or over-the-counter, familiarize yourself with the possible side effects and talk to your pediatrician if your child exhibits new behaviors either at night or during the day when taking new medications.

Finally, there are sleep disorders that can affect children’s sleep. Snoring and gasping during sleep can suggest obstructive sleep apnea; kicking legs while sleep or having leg discomfort at bedtime can be a sign of restless leg syndrome; excessive sleepiness despite getting a good night’s sleep could represent narcolepsy; and the inability to fall asleep can be a sign of insomnia.

If you suspect that your child has a sleep disorder, talk to your primary care physician who can make a referral to a sleep specialist.

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[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Summer Anthony Chabot Regional Park 9999 Redwood Rd Castro Valley, CA 94546 (888) 327-2757 www.ebparks.org/parks/anthony_chabot

Coyote Hills Regional Park 8000 Patterson Ranch Rd Fremont, CA 94555 (510) 544-3220 www.ebparks.org/parks/coyote_hills

Camping and a wealth of other outdoor activities are available only 20 minutes from downtown Oakland at the 5,067-acre Anthony Chabot Park, part of the East Bay Regional Park District. It’s a beautiful year-round public campground with miles of hiking and riding trails.

Comprised of nearly 978 acres of marshland and rolling grassland covered hills, this busy park is located along the eastern shore of San Francisco Bay, northwest of the cities of Fremont and Newark. The most popular visitor activities by far are bicycling, walking, bird watching, jogging, nature exploration, and picnicking.

Del Valle Regional Park 7000 Del Valle Rd Livermore, CA 94550 (510) 544-3139 www.ebparks.org/parks/del_valle Del Valle Regional Park, part of the East Bay Regional Park District, is located in a valley framed by oak-covered hills. The centerpiece of the park is a five-mile long lake, with all kinds of water-oriented recreation, surrounded by 4,316 acres of beautiful land for hiking, horseback riding, and nature study.

Black Diamond Mines Regional Preserve 5175 Somersville Road Antioch, CA 94509 (510) 544-2750 www.ebparks.org/parks/black_diamond The East Bay Regional Park District began acquiring land for Black Diamond Mines Regional Preserve in the early 1970s.

Today, most of the mining district is within the Preserve’s nearly 6,096 acres. The area is an ideal location for hiking, picnicking and nature study.

Briones Regional Park 2537 Reliez Valley Rd Martinez, CA 94553 (888) 327-2757 www.ebparks.org/parks/briones With its rolling, grassy hills and secluded, shady canyons, Briones is a secret wilderness surrounded by the towns of central Contra Costa County. Although the park is close to Lafayette, Walnut Creek, Pleasant Hill, Concord, and Martinez, there are peaks within it from which you can see only park and watershed lands for miles in every direction.

32 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

Las Trampas Regional Wilderness 18012 Bollinger Canyon Rd San Ramon, CA 94583 (510) 544-3276 www.ebparks.org/parks/las_trampas Las Trampas Regional Wilderness offers 5,342 acres of wilderness and an expanded trail system that allows hikers and horseback riders to enjoy its remote and rugged areas. The park’s size and terrain allow visitors a feeling of privacy and escape from urban hustle and bustle.

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Camping Redwood Regional Park 7867 Redwood Rd Oakland, CA 94619 (888) 327-2757 www.ebparks.org/parks/redwood A hidden redwood forest lies off Redwood Road just a few miles over the ridge from downtown Oakland. The forest’s peaceful groves give little evidence of the park’s bustling past – in the mid-1800s the area was the scene of extensive logging to supply building materials for the San Francisco Bay Area. The logging era has long since passed, and a stately forest of 150-foot coast redwoods, the Sequoia Sempervirens, has replaced those cut down.

Sibley Volcanic Regional Preserve Skyline Blvd Oakland, CA 94611 (888) 327-2757 www.ebparks.org/parks/sibley.htm East Bay residents have a volcano in their backyard at Sibley Volcanic Regional Preserve. Round Top, one of the area’s highest peaks, is made up of lava and volcanic debris left over from a 10-million-year-old volcano. A visitor center at the park shelves self-guided tour brochures so guests can stroll the park and learn of its historic significance at their own leisure.

Tilden Regional Park 2501 Grizzly Peak Blvd Orinda, CA 94563 (510) 544-2747 www.ebparks.org/parks/tilden.htm Tilden has been called the jewel of the system, and its recreational activities have become a happy tradition for generations of East Bay youngsters.

From a carousel ride and a picnic to a swim at Lake Anza and a stroll through the Botanic Garden, Tilden has variety to delight everyone. Yet there are plenty of quiet places in Tilden’s 2,079 acres to shelter the wildlife and preserve natural beauty.

AUGUST 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 33

[ PARENTING ]

The Growing Room Academy’s collaborative partnership with Village Music School allows our students and San Ramon Valley families to participate in an exciting array of expanded music education classes. This alliance allows Village Music School to extend their successful studio music program from the Diablo Valley to the San Ramon Valley.

Village Music School classes are held within the walls of Growing Room Academy and will be housed in two rooms solely dedicated as music studios. Classes are offered weekday afternoons and evenings, plus Saturdays.

Parenting the Introverted or Extraverted Child

by The Growing Room The topic of introversion versus extroversion has received a lot of press over the last few years. Personality tests such as the Myers-Briggs Type Indicator, the Newcastle Personality Assessor, and others have dominated social media and the Internet. Are you an introvert or extravert or a combination of both?

What about your children? Many social scientists view these tests as pseudoscience; we may even hold similar views ourselves, yet as we respond to test questions that indicate our social and environmental preferences it does allow space for introspection. As patterns emerge, we may come to recognize dominant traits in our personalities as well of those of close family members.

While the tests are not based on hard science, they may reveal interesting insights about the manner in which those closest to us choose to operate in the world. Could these revelations help us better understand and parent our children? The answer is yes.

Understanding Traits Parents often marvel at the differences between two siblings raised under the same roof: two different children, two different responses. One loves the

34 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

[ PARENTING ] hustle and bustle of a busy shopping mall, excited by the

to keep up with the demands of an extroverted child that

visual displays and actively engaging with store clerks

he perceives out of control. Paying attention to how you

and customers. The other child seeks to avoid shopping

interact with the world will better assist you in supporting

altogether and quickly tires from the experience. He

your child’s preferences and needs. An introverted

becomes frazzled by visual and aural stimulation and is

parent may build downtime into her own schedule that

annoyed and frustrated by the crowds. Children who

will benefit her introverted child, yet not adequately

are energized by being around people and activity are

address the needs of her extraverted child. If you are

considered to have extraverted personalities, whereas

an extraverted parent you may innately understand the

children who prefer calmer environments and are more

social needs of your extraverted child, yet inadvertently

introspective in their choices and actions are considered

neglect the needs of your more introspective child. They

introverted personalities. Personalities can fall anywhere

key is creating an environment that allows parents to

along the continuum from extremely gregarious to

refuel while honoring their children’s needs. Arranging

intensely introspective and thoughtful. And, while there

for a playdate or signing up for team sports will help

are no hard and fast rules, if your child exhibits the

support an introverted parent of an extraverted child.

following traits, they most likely fall into the following trait

Remembering to allow downtime and alone time in a

category.

busy schedule will help an introverted child thrive.

Extraverts:

Alter Expectations

• derive their energy from being around others.

Understanding your child’s temperament and

• prefer people and things over ideas and images.

environmental preferences provides valuable insights

• feel comfortable in groups and like to work in them.

for a smooth and happy family life. Expecting an

• have a wide variety of friends and acquaintances.

extraverted child to remain agreeable in a household

• tend to jump into new activities quickly.

void of social interaction is unreasonable and will result in

• are described as “outgoing.”

a moody, disagreeable child. Expecting an introverted child to spend extended hours in the company of

Introverts:

others is equally unreasonable and will lead to a similar

• become exhausted from social interaction.

outcome. The concept of extraversion and introversion

• prefer ideas and images over people and things.

provides a framework to effectively parent and interact

• feel comfortable being alone and like to work by

with your child. Remember, a child needs refueling to

themselves.

interact positively with the world. Whether that means

• have a few close friends that they tend to know well.

alone time or time with others, it is an important part of

• tend to reflect and ponder before starting a new

their emotional and physical health.

project.

• are described as “introspective.”

Honoring Traits Leads to a Richer Home Life When parents honor their child’s environmental

What This Means as a Parent: Know Yourself and Your

preferences, home life can become a safe and happy

Child

haven for all! Once, you have gained an understanding

Understanding your children’s and your own

of what makes your child “tick”, you can interact with

environmental preferences has a profound impact in

him in a way that will resonate and diminish resistance.

creating the optimal peaceful family life. In revisiting

This goes for anything from chores, homework, or family

the shopping mall scenario, an extraverted parent may

vacations.

find herself overly frustrated and impatient with what she views as the noncompliant behavior of her overly

Chores

stimulated introverted child. Conversely, an introverted

When considering chores for your children, gear them to

parent may find himself extremely frazzled and

their personality preferences. An introverted child may

emotionally drained (i.e. impatient or cross) when having

prefer solitary or quiet activities such as sorting laundry, AUGUST 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 35

[ PARENTING ] organizing cupboards or drawers, dusting, sweeping or

Family Gatherings/Outings

vacuuming or gardening. Your extraverted child would

The extravert thrives in these kinds of environments.

respond to those activities as well as long as you or

One trick that will help these children is to give them

someone else was doing it with him! The key to success

a timeline of the events, so they can prepare for the

with these children is social interaction.

excitement and also for the inevitable wind down as the festivities end. The introverted child does not always

Homework Paying attention to the demands of the day can aid

relish these types of events. Sometimes even extended

in determining a successful homework environment.

family members in their own home causes discomfort. It

Extraverted children may need time to wind down after

is important that parents allow kids space to separate

a busy day at school. They will also need time to interact

from the crowd. Having a safe space where children

with those at home before digging into their homework.

can enjoy some privacy and less noise is important.

These children may do well studying in close proximity

While it is possible to manage children’s behavior and

to others (if it isn’t too distracting). Introverted children

elevate their moods by paying close attention to the

may need time to wind down also, but for the opposite reason. A day surrounded with others in close proximity can be draining for an introverted child. Allowing the child to recharge through some solitary activity will go a long way toward helping them concentrate come study

environments that surround them, it is not possible to change those inherent personality traits that contribute to their unique temperaments, nor should you try! Both personality types—introverts and extraverts— possess

time. These children may also benefit from studying in a

wonderful attributes that ensure a fascinating one-of-a-

quieter environment.

kind human being that will be your honor to nurture.

Dr. Ozzie Jafarnia

DDS, Board Certified

Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry

Dr. Noyan Aynechi DDS, Board Certified

Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry

Nothing is more beautiful than your child’s smile!

Welcome to Danville Pediatric Dentistry and Orthodontics! ! Our office is committed to providing excellent preventative care for children in a warm, positive, and compassionate environment.

We specialize in comprehensive dental care for children of all ages with an emphasis on prevention and health. As your child grows, we are able to provide comprehensive orthodontic care for children and teens. This is to help create and maintain a healthy smile into adulthood. We will do so by providing excellent treatment at the right time for the right reason with integrity, honesty and a caring heart.

Your child’s smile is our top priority.

We are committed to making it the happiest, healthiest and straightest smile possible. After all, nothing is more beautiful than your child's smile!

4145 Blackhawk Plaza Circle, Ste. 203, Danville

Dr. Reem Stephanos DDS, MS

925-837-7745 • drozzie.com

Specialist in Orthodontics

36 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2016

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