Active Family Magazine - August 2017

AUGUST 2017

BEACH G E A R for the Family

PRIVATE SCHOOL

GUIDE

SUMMER FAMILY TRAVEL

The Best of the Best: Exploring Two of Tahoe’s Finest Resorts

[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

NATURE’S PLAYGROUND

Tahoe

Vacation Better Situated on Lake Tahoe’s south shore in a tranquil lakefront environment, this familyfriendly resort featuring hotel service and amenities is the perfect getaway for any reason. Isn’t it time to vacation better?

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IN THE MONTESSORI TRADITION

The Concordia School A warm, welcoming community since 1973 Hands-on learning for children ages 2 years through 6th grade Home-like, multi-age classroom Art, science, music, and Spanish integrated into daily life Quality before & after school care Full member of the American Montessori Society

School Tours Scheduled Weekly Call Today 925-689-6910

2353 FIFTH AVENUE ● CONCORD ● WWW.CONCORDIASCHOOL.COM 2 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

PUB: Active Fam Magazine Issue: Aug 2017 Property: LLV Size: Half page nonbleed (7.75” x 4.8125” Colors: Full DUE: 7/15

Orthopedists nearby if the landing doesn’t stick

Nationally ranked Stanford orthopedic experts are all over the Bay Area, working hard to help kids recover from injuries and help prevent them in the first place. With locations in Emeryville, Los Gatos, Palo Alto, Pleasanton, San Francisco, Sunnyvale and Walnut Creek, you can find the Stanford orthopedic practice closest to you at ortho.stanfordchildrens.org.

Volume 4 / Issue 43

7 Back-To-School Strategies to Promote Less Stress & More Flow

[ PARENTING ] Why It Doesn’t Pay to be a People-Pleaser

32

8 4 Ways to Tackle Childhood Stress — Right Now

14 Fighting in Front Of Your Kids: Conflict is Part of Relationships.

Here’s How to Fight Right.

22 7 Tips to Transition Your Kid From Summer to School

28

One Simple Strategy to Help Make Homework Time Easier

44

Is Your Child Ready for School?

38 [ SEASONAL FUN ] Make a Splash: Beach Gear for the Family

12

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ] Dolphin Bay Resort & Spa: Harness the Power of Low and Slow

42

A Memorable Weekend for the Entire Family

18

[ CHILDREN & EDUCATION ] A Camping Experience Private Schools & Open Houses

30 Ways to Promote Passion-Based Learning in Your Home

40

for Everyone

26 The Best of the Best Exploring Two of Tahoe’s Finest Resorts

34 [ EVENTS ] August Calendar

24

18 4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

24

34

FACT:

Social and emotional intelligence may be the most important determinant of a child’s future success.

PRIMROSE WAY:

Being school-ready is just the beginning.

• Pre-Registering Infants - Private Kindergarten for Fall 2017

• Pre-Register Now & Avail Founding Family Special Tuition Rates

Primrose School of Livermore 2901 Las Positas Rd Livermore, CA 94551 925.215.7372 | PrimroseLivermore.com | facebook.com/PrimroseLivermore/ Each Primrose School is a privately owned and operated franchise. Primrose Schools and The Leader in Educational Child Care are trademarks of Primrose School Franchising Company. ©2014 Primrose School Franchising Company. All rights reserved. See primroseschools.com for ‘fact’ source and curriculum detail.

Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area Publisher/Editor

Marketing Assistant Interns

Contributing Authors

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Jaida Sinclair

Advertising Sales Director

Fashion Editor

Kathy Brillheart kbrillheart@activefamilymag.com

Rachel Fawkes www.fawkeshunter.com

Advertising Sales Managers

Design/Production

Mary Oakes moakes@activefamilymag.com

Teresa Agnew Craft

Christine Carter, Ph.D. Katie Hurley, LCSW Erica Reischer, Ph.D. Alyson Jones Gena Lewis, MD Diane Halberg, MD Amy McCready Growing Room Renée Peterson Trudeau Carrie Contey, Ph.D.

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709 Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note Another summer in the record books as the new school year looms ahead. Every season I am always quite perplexed by how a few months can literally fly by so quickly. I attribute it to the old adage, “time flies when you’re having fun”, as it has certainly been one fun summer! But there’s still August…!

We have been committed to providing our readers with summer travel inspiration, whether you’re looking to take a quick trip to the beach, a three-hour drive to Tahoe, or a plane ride to beautiful Hawaii. Turn to page 18 and discover one our favorites; Dolphin Bay Resort & Spa in Pismo Beach. We have highlighted the perfect itinerary for your family so all you have to do is make your hotel and excursion reservations and have a blast! We promise your family will be talking about this vacation for years to come!

If a camping trip is in your future, be sure flip to page 26 and check out our feature on the Santa Cruz/Monterey Bay KOA. This magical place provides never ending family fun in a perfect setting. Whether you are an RVer, tent camper or like to go the glamping route, this campground has something for everyone!

Of course summer would not be complete without an awesome trip to Tahoe. The lake is full, the views are incredible and the Hyatt Regency Lake Tahoe Resort, Spa and Casino and Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows Resort are the ideal locations to experience it all. Be sure to check out both of the kids summer camps which provide endless hours of fun while parents can partake in some grown-up activities such as basking by the pool, indulging at the spa or gambling at the casino. Our travel article on page 34 will provide with you an summary of all that the resorts have to offer.

Be sure to find the parenting articles and tips found in this issue that will help with the back-to-school transition. Enjoy the rest of your summer days and good luck with the new school year!

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

JENNIFER & NICK TRAVIA 2 scientists 23 hours spent researching birth centers 1 healthy baby

As scientists, Daniel’s parents did extensive research before choosing where to deliver their baby. They talked to friends, scoured the internet, toured hospitals and talked with nurses. They discovered Stanford Health Care – ValleyCare has on-site OB-GYNs, anesthesiologists and pediatric hospitalists 24/7, as well as the highest level Neonatal ICU in the Tri-Valley. And good thing, because Daniel decided to come four weeks early. Today, he’s proud to be the center of attention.

See their story and find an OB-GYN: ValleyCare.com/Baby Or call: 844-229-7871

[ PARENTING ]

Why It Doesn’t Pay to be a People-Pleaser

by Christine Carter, Ph.D. People ask me all the time what the secret to happiness is. “If you had to pick just one thing,” they wonder, “what would be the most important thing for leading a happy life?”

Ten years ago, I would have told you a regular gratitude practice was the most important thing—and while that is still my favorite instant happiness booster, my answer has changed. I believe the most important thing for happiness is living truthfully. Here’s the specific advice I recently gave my kids: Christine Carter, Ph.D.*, is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of “RAISING HAPPINESS: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.” She teaches online happiness classes that help parents bring more joy into their own lives and the lives of their children, and she writes an award-winning blog for *Greater Good* (www.greatergoodparents.org).

Live with total integrity. Be transparent, honest, and authentic. Do not ever waiver from this; white lies and false smiles quickly snowball into a life lived out of alignment. It is better to be yourself and risk having people not like you than to suffer the stress and tension that comes from pretending to be someone you’re not, or professing to like something that you don’t. I promise you: Pretending will rob you of joy.

I’ve spent the better part of my life as a people-pleaser, trying to meet other people’s expectations, trying to keep everyone happy and liking me. But when we are trying to please others, we are usually out of sync with our own wants and needs. It’s not that it’s bad to be thinking of others. It’s that pleasing others is not the same as helping others.

People pleasing, in my extensive personal experience, is a process of guessing what other people want, or what will make them think favorably of us, and then acting accordingly. It’s an often subtle and usually unconscious attempt at manipulating other people’s perceptions of us. Anytime we pretend to be or feel something that we aren’t, we’re out of integrity with ourselves.

And anytime we’re doing something that is more about influencing what others think of us than it is about authentically expressing ourselves—even something as simple as a Facebook post that makes it seem like we are having a better day than we actually are—we end up out of integrity with ourselves.

Being out of integrity has pretty serious consequences for our happiness, and for our relationships. Here’s what happens when we aren’t being authentic.

1. We don’t actually fool anyone Say you are at work, and you’re doing your best to put on a happy face even though your home life is feeling shaky. You may not want to reveal to your work friends that you and your significant other had a major fight over the weekend, but if you pretend that you are okay—and you’re not—you’ll probably make the people around you feel worse, too. Why?

8 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

[ PARENTING ] We humans aren’t actually very good at hiding how we

that you don’t—even if it is a small thing, and even if it is

are feeling. We exhibit micro-expressions that the people

relatively meaningless, and even if it is meant to protect

we are with might not know they are registering but that

someone else—is a lie.

trigger mirror neurons—so a little part of their brain thinks that they are feeling our negative feelings. So trying to

And lying, even if we do it a lot, or are good at it, is very

suppress negative emotions when we are talking with

stressful to our brains and our bodies. The polygraph test

someone—like when we don’t want to trouble someone

depends on this: “Lie Detectors” don’t actually detect

else with our own distress—actually increases stress levels

lies, but rather they detect the subconscious stress and

of both people more than if we had shared our distress

fear that lying causes. These tests sense changes in our

in the first place. (It also reduces rapport and inhibits the

skin electricity, pulse rate, and breathing. They also

connection between two people.)

detect when someone’s vocal pitch has changed in a nearly imperceptible way, a consequence of tension in

2. We find it harder to focus

the body that tightens vocal chords.

Pretending takes a huge conscious effort—it’s an act of self-control that drains your brain of its power to

The physiological changes that lie detectors sense are

focus and do deep work. That’s because performing or

caused by glucocorticoids, hormones that are released

pretending to be or feel something you’re not requires

during a stress response. And as you well know, stress

tremendous willpower.

hormones are bad news for your health and happiness over the long run.

Tons of research suggests that our ability to repeatedly exert our self-control is actually quite limited. Like a

Research shows that people who are given instructions

muscle that tires and can no longer perform at its peak

for how to lie less in their day-to-day lives are actually

strength after a workout, our self-control is diminished by

able to lie less, and when they do, their physical health

previous efforts at control, even if those efforts take place

improves. For example, they report less trouble sleeping,

in a totally different realm.

less tension, fewer headaches, and fewer sore throats.

These improvements in health are likely caused by the

So that little fib at the water cooler you told in order to

relative absence of a stress response.

make yourself seem happier than you are is going to make it hard for you to focus later in the afternoon. A

And that’s not all: When the people in the above study

performance or any attempt to hide who you really are,

lied less, they also reported improvements in their

or pretend to be something you aren’t, is going to make it

relationships and less anxiety.

harder later to control your attention and your thoughts, and to regulate your emotions. It’ll increase the odds that

We don’t lie or pretend or perform all the time, of

you react more aggressively to a provocation, eat more

course. But when we do, it’s important to see the

tempting snacks, engage in riskier behaviors, and—this

consequences: increased stress, decreased willpower,

one is pretty compelling to me—perform more poorly on

impaired relationships. Although we might actually

tasks that require executive function, like managing your

be trying to feel better by putting on a happy face for

time, planning, or organizing.

others, pretending always backfires in the end. Living inauthentically makes life hard and cuts us off from our

3. You’ll become more stressed and anxious

sweet spot—that place where we have both ease and

Let’s just call it like it is: Pretending to be or feel something

power.

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9

Make a Splash

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

~ BEACH GEAR FOR THE FAMILY ~ COOLEST COOLER

One of the coolest coolers ever! Includes a high performance blender, outdoor Blue Tooth speaker, usb charger, LED light, cooler divider and cutting board, utensils, bottle opener and more! Everything you need in one cooler. www.coolest.com

GIANT MERMAID TAIL POOL FLOAT At over 5 feet long, this is a big-time inflatable for a fairytale summer at the beach, pool, lake, or river. Easy to wipe down and inflate/deflate. www.bigmouthinc.com

COLEMAN® 50 QUART XTREME® 5 WHEELED COOLER

WATER POP CIRCULAR LOUNGE Sit back and relax! Comfortable horseshoe back rest and headrest, built-in beverage holder Comes in assorted colors. www.poolmaster.com

10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

Keep your food and drinks cold for up to 5 days with a Coleman® 50 Quart Xtreme® 5 Wheeled Cooler. Large enough to hold 84 cans, you’ll have plenty of space for refreshments for a whole group of people. Whether you are headed to the beach, camping or across the soccer field, the heavy-duty wheels and long, telescoping handle let you roll over almost any terrain with hardly any effort. www.coleman.com

FLOATING TABLE TENNIS GAME

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Hours of fun are waiting! This table unfolds easily for quick set up and doubles as table top game Set includes 2 oversize paddles, net with uprights, 3 ping pong balls. www.poolmaster.com

WATER HAMMOCK LOUNGE Easy to store and carry with inflatable head and knee support. All-weather woven material is weather resistant www.poolmaster.com

FLOATING PINEAPPLE BEVERAGE COOLER Check out this super fun Swim Up Bar! This funky pineapple keeps 5 drinks afloat so you don’t have to get out of the water every time.

There’s a built-in ice chest under the top, letting you keep cans, bottles, juice boxes, etc., cool in the hot summer sun. www.bigmouthinc.com

GIANT SPARKLIN’ UNICORN POOL FLOAT Over 4 feet long with real sparkle flakes inside, this pool float will be sure to enthrall all magical unicorn lovers. Take to the beach or use in the pool. www.bigmouthinc.com

SOMEWHERE OVER THE RAINBOW CHAIR POOL FLOAT The princess of the pool party has a throne, and it’s Bigmouth’s new Rainbow Chair Pool Float. Simply inflate it, claim your spot in the sun, and hop on—you’ll find yourself over the rainbow in no time.

Built in cup holder. www.bigmouthinc.com

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11

Make a Splash

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

~ BEACH GEAR FOR THE FAMILY ~

THE “ENTERTAINER” ROLLING PARTY COOLER

JUMBO SWAN FLOAT Large-profile majestic rider adds fun to any pool! Wide wing span and elongated neck with two integrated handles. Two-step valve for quick deflation. www.poolmaster.com

With a super-sized capacity of 100 cans, the rolling party cooler makes party time a blast! The split-top lid, attached bottle opener, and cap catcher are super-convenient. Easygrip handles and wheeled legs make maneuvering a breeze.

Need to take the party with you? This cooler separates from the base so it’s completely portable. www.riobrands.com

PACIFIC BREEZE SAND AND SURF BEACH SHELTER FLOATING TIC TAC TOE GAME Family fun jumbo toss game for pool or lawn play. www.poolmaster.com

12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

Designed with an open and airy feeling, while still providing protection from the sun. Shelter comes with a detachable wall that can be repositioned to maximize shade as the sun moves over the course of the day. Additionally, it has a zip out floor that allows children to play in the sand while still having shade. www.pacificbreezeproducts.com

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

BULLFROG® BF400 BLUETOOTH® MUSIC SYSTEM The BF400 is packed with power and built for fun in the sun! A built-in FM tuner, AUX jack and charging USB connection complement a Bluetooth range of up to 100 feet! www.kicker.com

CLASSIC 5-POSITION ALUMINUM FRAME LAY FLAT BEACH CHAIR This chair is perfect for the beach or pool.

Made of durable polyester fabric and a lightweight, rust-proof aluminum frame, five positions, including a flat position that’s perfect for all-over tanning. Lightweight and compact design makes for easy, efficient transport and storage. www.riobrands.com

SEAHORSE NOODLE Set of two curved noodles for hanging, riding, playing fun.

Designed with integrated head and curved tail detailing.

Comes in pink and blue. 2-Pack. www.poolmaster.com

PACIFIC BREEZE LOUNGER The Pacific Breeze Products Beach Lounger is a great alternative to your traditional beach or camping chair, its compact and lightweight design make it easy for transporting and setting up. The Lounger comes with an adjustable backrest and is lightweight and folds down for easy transportation. www.pacificbreezeproducts.com

WONDER WHEELER II The Wonder Wheeler II with 10” back wheels carries it all for you. If you’re going to the beach, stack on your beach chairs and toss beach towels, sunscreen, and a beach ball into the oversized storage compartment. www.riobrands.com

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13

[ PARENTING ]

Katie Hurley, LCSW, is a child and adolescent psychotherapist and author of The Happy Kid Handbook. Her work can be found on EverydayFamily, Momtastic, mom.me, Yahoo Parenting, PBS Parents and The Huffington Post.

Katie writes the parenting blog, Practical Parenting. Katie splits her time between Los Angeles and the Connecticut coast with her rock and roll husband and their two happy children.

For more stress reduction techniques and strategies to empower children to live happy lives, check out Katie’s new book, The Happy Kid Handbook: How to Raise Joyful Children in a Stressful World.

4 Ways to Tackle Childhood Stress — Right Now

by Katie Hurley, LCSW Years ago, a peppy, talkative little girl entered my office. On the outside looking in, you would wonder what she could possibly need with a therapist.

She had tons of friends. She smiled often.

She played every sport, genuinely enjoyed school (even homework) and at age ten, she had her entire future mapped out. This kid was a go-getter.

Behind the scenes, her behavior told a different story. She hardly slept. She had difficulty falling asleep almost every night and when she did sleep, it was always in short spurts. She crawled into her mom’s bed most nights.

The homework she so loved doing became a vehicle for control. If she did everything “perfectly”, she felt like she was in control. She twirled her hair nonstop, bit her nails down to the skin and reorganized her room almost daily. She complained of headaches, stomachaches and just about every other kind of ache.

14 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

[ PARENTING ]

Her mom feared that divorce was to blame. But when

Body mapping is a great exercise to help kids understand

the little girl opened her mouth and spilled all of her

how their bodies feel when they’re under stress. Have

thoughts and fears it became very clear: childhood

your child draw an outline of a body. Dress and decorate

stress was to blame.

the body to make it more fun. Talk about how our bodies can feel when we are stressed or worried. You

She was doing too much, by her own choice, and

might mention a racing heart when feeling anxious or a

was constantly running from one thing to the next. The

headache when overwhelmed. Cue your child to think

divorce added another layer of running between places.

about how his body responds to stress (tight muscles?

Her mom’s new job with a long commute meant fewer

Clenched jaw? Sore tummy?) and color those areas red

hours spent together. She started a new school in a new

on the body map.

town with new friends. She had a lot on her plate.

Once your child completes the map, talk about common She was a fan of lists (a girl after my own heart), so we

triggers (friendship trouble, school, too much homework,

crafted a list of her stressors and tried to find ways to

etc.) and how to work through them.

lighten her stress load. It worked. She quickly cut back on activities that didn’t bring her much pleasure and that

Practice guided imagery.

gave her more time to spend with each parent. Then we

Deep breathing is a great tool for reducing stress, but it

worked on stress relief strategies.

can be difficult for kids to practice independently. More often than not, they breathe too quickly and worsen their

Childhood stress might not seem like such a big deal,

stress symptoms.

but it is very real and it can cause significant emotional and physical problems. Left unchecked, childhood

Adding guided imagery to the mix helps kids calm down

stress can result in chronic illness, headaches (including

while envisioning a relaxing scene or story. Note: It’s

migraines), sleep disturbance, digestive problems, high

important to practice stress reduction techniques when

blood pressure and back and neck pain. It can also

kids are calm so that they can utilize them when they are

exacerbate symptoms of asthma, allergies and diabetes.

upset later on.

On the emotional side it can cause anxiety, depression, difficulty socializing and poor school performance. In

Have your child get comfortable in a relaxing place

short - stress can negatively impact the day-to-day lives

(the child’s bedroom is generally a good place). Ask

of our children.

your child to name a relaxing destination (the beach, a forest, etc.) Cue your child to use relaxation breathing (in

There is good news for parents of stressed out little ones,

for four, hold for three, out for four) while you describe a

though. When childhood stress is tackled head on, kids

journey to the relaxing destination. Practice daily for 5-7

can learn to cope with it and work through it.

minutes.

Try these stress reduction tips at home to help your little

Revisit the schedule.

one feel calm again:

Sometimes we get stuck on the treadmill when it comes to parenting. We keep running and doing because

Use body mapping.

it seems like that makes kids happy. It doesn’t. Kids

Most kids struggle to understand the mind-body

might not be able to verbalize feeling overwhelmed by

connection. They don’t, for example, know that neck

constant activity, but everyone needs downtime. And all

pain is a sign of stress or anxiety. They don’t understand

kids need time to play.

that a stomachache the morning of a big test might very well be connected to the feelings associated with taking

Make a stress list, including that busy schedule, and look

the test or that a headache after a tough day at school

for areas where you can cut back and make time for

isn’t just a cold.

family and play. …continued page 16 AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15

[ PARENTING ] continued from page 15…

Choose your own ending.

Kids tend to experience symptoms of stress when they feel out of control - when they feel helpless. When it feels like the world is against them, kids get stuck in a rut and develop negative core beliefs (i.e. I can’t do this, I am powerless). Taking control of stress is a great first step toward reducing it.

Teach your kids to choose their own ending. Have your child describe a stressful situation, including how it ended (someone was mean and I cried). Help your child brainstorm alternate endings to the story. Finally, have your child retell the story with a new ending and talk about how that might feel.

Most kids experience ups and downs and varying

Elevate brunch this weekend Seasonal fruity craft mimosa flights and modern tapas or

degrees of stress along the way. Teaching them how to cope with stress empowers them to work through the hard stuff in pursuit of happiness.

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New Orleans Style Beignets, Braised Pork Belly Benedict, house made Bloody Mary and seasonal brunch cocktails.

Join the bustling brunch scene at Sabio this weekend!

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Offering meticulous & affordable housecleaning for busy families!

References Available!

Images: © AMNH/C. Chesek © AMNH 2014

A new, prehistoric exhibit | Now Open It’s amazing what a fossil can reveal. With massive, life-size models, an interactive flight simulator, real pterosaur fossils, and more—this new exhibit will leave a lasting impression.

Fossilized forever, but only here for a limited time.

Get tickets at calacademy.org Pterosaurs: Flight in the Age of Dinosaurs is organized by the American Museum of Natural History, New York (amnh.org)

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

A kid-friendly, luxe hotel doesn’t have to be an oxymoron. At Dolphin Bay Resort & Spa, families can bring the whole brood without worry about disrupting someone’s romantic honeymoon or adults-only trip. The resort is a favorite among families with children of all ages because of its easy three-hour drive from the Bay Area, generously sized, luxurious rooms, and gorgeous setting on the edge of the San Luis Obispo Bay. It’s a great weekend getaway, with or without the kids.

Here’s a great way to spend the weekend at Dolphin Bay.

8:00 A.M. Hit the road! It’s about a three to three and a half hour drive from the East Bay Area to Dolphin Bay Resort & Spa, and even though check-in time is not until 3 pm, you’ll want to take full advantage of the

which you’ll pass right by on the way to the resort. It’s a fun stop to bring the kids to, where they can feed goats at the petting zoo, go on a hay ride, sample fresh apple cider and say hello to the chickens.

Adults will love the selection of fresh, local produce, homemade pies, adorable trinkets and scrumptious freshly made sandwich and soup options for lunch.

day and there are a few stops to hit before reaching the hotel.

1:30 P.M. Arrive at Dolphin Bay Resort & Spa before check-in to take full advantage of the yearround heated pool and hot tub.

Guests can valet or self-park and grab a pool key from the front desk.

The sparkling, kid-friendly pool boasts gorgeous views of the ocean and cliffside.

11:30 A.M. Be sure to stop by the quaint Avila Valley Barn for lunch,

3 P.M. Check into your room and prepare to be wowed. The upscale

18 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

guest suites are reminiscent of a luxury condo, with full-sized gourmet kitchens, oversized comfortable and stylish furnishings, giant spa tubs and laundry facilities.

The rooms range from 1000 - 2,100 square feet, so whether you’re staying in a one or two-bedroom, there’s plenty of room to stretch out and make yourself at home.

4 P.M. If possible, sneak away to The Spa at Dolphin Bay for some

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

relaxing, luxuriant “me time.” Enjoy a facial, massage or wrap at the tranquil spa or have the spa come to you and receive your treatment in your room. Book ahead of time to ensure an appointment.

6 P.M. Head to dinner at Lido Restaurant for an upscale, memorable meal. The warm and inviting dining room has plenty of windows overlooking the pool and coastline, so you’ll get a great view no matter where you sit. Outside seating is a great choice to catch the sunset and enjoy the cozy outdoor heaters. Executive Chef Jacob Moss has created a classic, coastal menu featuring local, organic and seasonal ingredients.

There’s something for everyone on the menu, including pizza, pasta, steak and fresh seafood options.

Little diners will appreciate the children’s menu and its familiar favorites.

7:30 P.M. After dinner, take a stroll along the resort’s coastal pathway and take in a breathtaking sunset.

The kids will have fun trying to spy dolphins, whales or other marine life in the water, which is a common site. Warm up by the resort’s kid-safe fire pits and then head back to your room to relax before bedtime.

ahead of time, head to Sandbar Surf School a few miles up to road at Park Ave. and Pismo Beach Pier.

Established in 1994, owner Jonny Ziegler and his experienced crew will ‘wet-suit’ you up and walk you through all of the necessary training needed before you head into the water. With hands-on instruction and personal guidance, Sandbar surf lessons are a blast and the entire family will enjoy this activity. Lessons are offered in private or group settings and can also be offered as a 3-5 day camp.

For more information go to www. sandbarsurf.com.

8:30 A.M. No need to leave the resort for breakfast. Order room service, whip up something in your full-sized kitchen, or claim a table at Lido for a delicious breakfast or weekend brunch, which includes coffee, tea and bottomless mimosas during the weekend.

Choose from a variety of sweet and savory morning options, such

as soft-shell crab eggs benedict, chilaquiles, or creme brûlée french toast.

9:00 A.M. With reservations made

12:30 A.M. A quick 5-minute walk past Dolphin Bay and its neighboring resort will lead you down some stairs to direct beach access on a stretch of Shell Beach.

Be sure to take the kids to check out the tide pools on the left-side of the beach, where they’ll get a kick out of seeing Hermit Crabs and Sea Anemones.

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

8:30 A.M. Another addition to your bucket list must include a kayak adventure with Avila Beach Paddlesports. By far one of the most amazing excursions you can experience with your family, adults and kids alike will be awed for hours. Encounter sea otters,

harbor seals, sea lions, dolphins and whales, depending on the season.

Owners Vincent and Emily Shaw are incredibly passionate about what they do and it shows. Vincent, a trained naturalist was the perfect guide for a day full of discovery learning about sea life. From kelp forests to pier pilings, Smith Island to the breakwater, and from tide pools to open waters, Port San Luis is full of wildlife. Your children will be talking about this experience

Depalo & Sons Market for some

for years to come! Avila Beach

road snacks. This gourmet hot spot

Paddlesports also rents kayaks

is located in the shopping center

or stand-up paddle board if you

next door to Dolphin Bay Resort,

are looking to spend a leisurely

and is a must stop for some tasty

few hours exploring Avila Beach.

ready-made treats. Their house-

For more information go to www.

made mozzarella is always a good

avilabeachpaddlesports.com

choice — featured in their caprese salad and gourmet sandwiches.

11:00 A.M. Check out of the hotel

Pick up some pasta salad and fresh-

and get ready to head home,

made cookies for a fantastic and

but not until you’ve stopped by

memorable on-the-road meal.

20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

Ranked Top 10 Diabetes & Endocrinology Neonatology

UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospitals, with campuses in San Francisco and Oakland, rank among the country’s best in 9 specialties, and best in Northern California in 6 specialties.

[ PARENTING ]

Dr. Erica Reischer is a psychologist, author, and parent educator. In addition to her Oakland-based private practice, she writes for The New York Times, The Washington Post, Psychology Today, and The Atlantic.

She is the author of What Great Parents Do: 75 Simple Strategies for Raising Kids Who Thrive.

Fighting In Front Of Your Kids: Conflict Is Part Of Relationships.

Here’s How To Fight Right.

by Erica Reischer, Ph.D. Kids learn a lot from the way their parents fight. Multiple studies have shown that young kids whose parents fight aggressively (physically or verbally) are at higher risk for depression, anxiety and behavior problems as they grow.

But other research suggests that constructive disagreements—in which parents demonstrate affection and attempts to problem-solve—might actually make kids more empathetic and socially skilled than their peers.

To learn more about how exactly to role model healthy discord in front of the kids, we spoke with Erica Reischer, Ph.D, a psychologist and parenting coach.

The trick, says Dr. Reischer, isn’t to hide your fights from your children, but demonstrate respectful disagreement and¬—even more important—eventual resolution. Here are some tips from Dr. Reischer to making that happen:

22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

[ PARENTING ] Question actions, not character. If you’re upset that your

your kids, if they are present) that you need to take a

husband didn’t help out with the kids’ bath time like

grown-up time-out to yourself. This is better than taking it

you’d asked, say that. There’s no need to throw words

to another room, which just implies to kids that it’s okay to

like “lazy” or “forgetful” into the mix. “Name calling,

aggressively argue as long as it’s in private. “It’s good for

shaming, and hurting your partner’s feelings sends a

kids to learn that they should take it upon themselves to

particularly bad message to kids,” says Dr. Reischer.

go somewhere and cool off if need be,” Dr. Reischer says.

Watch your tone even more than your volume. When we

If you start a fight in front of the kids, make sure they

get agitated the volume and pitch of our voice often

see the kiss-and-make-up part, too. Even if you’ve

rises, says Dr. Reischer. She’d rather parents focus less

shared words you wish you hadn’t, or one of you has

on lowering their voices and more on using respectful

stomped off in the middle of a fight, it’s still—if not even

language and allowing others to speak. In other words:

more—important to let them witness how you resolve

It’s worse to be quietly sarcastic than to loudly—but

the disagreement, says Dr. Reischer. Watching parents

constructively—communicate your discontent.

give some ground, see the other’s side, or even agree to disagree will not only make them kids feel better, it will

Take a time-out if things get too heated. If you sense

also teach them the benefit of working together to solve

emotions are about to boil over, tell your spouse (and

difficult problems.

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23

[ EVENTS ]

August Alameda County AUGUST 1 National Nite Out Berkeley Marina Berkeley 3pm – 8pm www.cityofberkeley.info

AUGUST 1 - 13

Sundown Safari Campout Oakland Zoo Oakland Times Vary www.oaklandzoo.org/Family_ Sundown_Safari.php

AUGUST 5 – 27

Tarzan Berkeley Plarhouse Berkeley Times Vary www.tickets.berkeleyplayhouse.org

Rockridge Ice Cream Tour Rockridge Oakland Times Vary www.localfoodadventures.com/ food-tours/ice-cream-tour

AUGUST 3

AUGUST 6

Olympics Day San Pablo Park Berkeley 10am & 2pm www.cityofberkeley.info Waterfront Flicks- Selena Jack London Square- Ferry Lawn Oakland Sundown www.jacklondonsquare.com/ events/special-events Bridges of the Bay Sightseeing Cruise USS Potomac Oakland 10:30am – 1:30pm www.usspotomac.org

AUGUST 4 $5 Friday Chabot Space & Science Center Oakland 6pm – 10pm www.chabotspace.org/first-fridays. htm

AUGUST 5 & 19 Email info@activefamilymag.com to subscribe to our weekly email blast for more events!

AUGUST 5, 12 & 19

Summer Sleepovers Children’s Fairyland Oakland 5:45pm – 8:30am www.fairyland.org

24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

Full Moon Paddle Oakland Estuary Oakland 7pm – 10pm www.jacklondonsquare.com/ events/special-events

AUGUST 8 Tuesday Night Concerts Emerald Glen Park Amphitheater Dublin 6pm – 8pm www.dublinca.gov/calendar.aspx

AUGUST 10 “Dublin Cooks Night” Dublin Farmer’s Market Dublin 4pm – 8pm www.dublinca.gov/calendar.aspx

AUGUST 11 & 25 Port of Oakland Free Harbor Tours Oakland Ferry Dock Oakland Times Vary www.jacklondonsquare.com/ events/special-events

AUGUST 12 Music in the Park – Summertime Willard Street Park Berkeley 7pm www.cityofberkeley.info

Oakland A’s Fireworks Oakland Colliseum Oakland 6:05pm www.m.mlb.com/athletics/ tickets/info/fireworks Family Campout Schaefer Ranch Park Dublin 3pm – 10am www.dublinca.gov/calendar.aspx

AUGUST 17 Waterfront Flicks- Moana Jack London Square- Ferry Lawn Oakland Sundown www.jacklondonsquare.com/ events/special-events “Community Night” Emerald Glen Park Dublin 4pm – 8pm www.dublinca.gov/calendar.aspx

AUGUST 18 Picnic Flix – Finding Dory Emerald Green Park Dublin 7pm – 9pm www.ci.dublin.ca.us/1327/PicnicFlix

AUGUST 19 Grilled Cheese Block Party Jack London Square Oakland 12pm – 6pm www.jacklondonsquare.com/ events/special-events

AUGUST 25 Movie in the Park – Zootopia Cedar Rose Park Berkeley 8:45pm www.cityofberkeley.info

[ EVENTS ]

August Movie in the Park – Sing Redwood Heights Recreation Center Oakland 8:00pm www2.oaklandnet.com

AUGUST 27 Cal Sailing Open House Cal Sailing Club Berkeley 1pm – 4pm www.cal-sailing.org

AUGUST 31 Beauty and the Beast Woodminister Amphitheater Oakland Times Vary www.woodminster.com/beauty--the-beast.html “Artisans Night” Emerald Glen Park Dublin 4pm – 8pm www.dublinca.gov/calendar.aspx

Contra Costa County AUGUST 1 National Night Out Danville 6pm – 9pm www.danville.ca.gov/calendar Summer Concerts in the Park: JetBlacq Orinda Community Center Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.cityoforinda.org/calendar. aspx

AUGUST 3 The Band Perry at Wente Vineyards Wente Vineyards Livermore 8pm – 11pm www.wentevineyards.com/ events/2017/the-band-perry

AUGUST 4 Movies Under the Stars: Finding Dory Heather Farm Park Walnut Creek 8pm www.walnut-creek.org

AUGUST 5 Music in the Park - 3Day Weekend Town Green Danville 6pm – 8pm www.danville.ca.gov/calendar Cute Critter Live Draw Bedford Gallery Walnut Creek 3pm – 5pm www.walnut-creek.org

AUGUST 5-6 Family Campout Mt. Diablo State Park Danville 3pm – 11am www.danville.ca.gov/calendar

AUGUST 8 Summer Concerts in the Park: West Grand Blvd Orinda Community Center Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.cityoforinda.org/calendar. aspx

Moonlight Movie - Finding Dory Town Green Danville 6:30pm – 10:30pm www.danville.ca.gov/calendar

AUGUST 12 Grill and Chill Cedar Mountain Winery Livermore 6pm – 9pm www.cedarmountainwinery.com

AUGUST 15 Summer Concerts in the Park: Big Band Jazz Orinda Community Center Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.cityoforinda.org/calendar. aspx

AUGUST 17 Art & Wine Stroll 2017 Downtown Danville Danville 6pm – 9pm www.danville.ca.gov/calendar

AUGUST 25 Movies Under the Stars: Grease Civic Park Walnut Creek 7:30pm www.walnut-creek.org

AUGUST 26 NorCal Kids Triathlon Miramonte High School Orinda 8am www.cityoforinda.org/calendar. aspx

AUGUST 27 Sgt. Pepper’s 50th Anniversary Celebration Civic Center Library Livermore 2pm www.cityoflivermore.net/cals/ default.

Summer Movies in the Park: Lego Batman Movie Orinda Community Center Orinda 8:15pm www.cityoforinda.org/calendar. aspx

AUGUST 10

AUGUST 19

Hot Summer Nights Car Shows Downtown Danville Danville 4pm – 9pm www.danville.ca.gov/calendar/

Music in the Park – Mania!

Oak Hill Park Danville 6pm – 8pm www.danville.ca.gov/calendar

AUGUST 11

AUGUST 20

Preschool Performance Series Village Theatre Art Gallery Danville 10am -11am www.danville.ca.gov/calendar

Free Concert: Men of Worth Civic Center Library Livermore 1pm www.cityoflivermore.net/cals/ default.asp

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

A Camping Experience for Everyone

by By Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Whether you are a hard-core camper or looking for the perfect glamping experience, we found the ideal location at the Santa Cruz/Monterey Bay KOA! If you seek a traditional cabin camping experience, there are a few options to choose from. The camping cabins provide the basics and offer a respite from the great outdoors. Just bring your sleeping bag and utilize the clean, communal bathrooms found on the grounds. KOA’s fully furnished deluxe cabins, which we opted for, offer all the comforts of home including a small kitchen, living area, TV and bathroom with tub and shower. Don’t own an RV? Stay in an Airstream travel trailer for a unique experience.

For the RVer, KOA has full hookup sites, 50 amp service, pull-throughs, and free cable and Wi-Fi. They also have the tent campers covered too, with sites conveniently located with picnic tables and fire rings. Something for every camper level!

This particular KOA is replete with plenty of family fun, so get ready! Situated only an hour and forty five minutes from the East Bay, we were pleasantly surprised at what we found upon entering the campground. Immaculately 26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

[ SEASONAL FUN ] are roasting s’mores or telling ghost stories. Bring your blankets and settle in for a family movie at the Outdoor Cinema. The KOA Express Fun Train was a favorite, cruising around the campgrounds daily, kids are picked up along the way.

The newly renovated heated pool and hot tub are amazing and provided hours of fun. A large patio encompassing the perimeter of the pool provides plenty of lounge chairs for relaxation and offers great vantage points while watching the kids swim. kept, we were welcomed by a friendly staff when we checked in at the onsite convenience store. Stocked with various items and essentials you may have forgotten at home, here you will find fun gifts, groceries, espresso and snack bar.

Our cabin and campground were strategically chosen next to the “Beach Zone” area where our kids were a

Don’t want to leave the family pet at home? Check availability for the pet-friendly campgrounds and cabins.

There is an on-site doggie run and a pet washing area to keep your furry friends happy.

No matter your camping needs, the Santa Cruz / Monterey Bay KOA offers the best of the great outdoors!

few feet away from the in-ground jumping pillow, the game room where the kids played and earned tickets, indoor movies and more! Just across the way and within eyesight was the large playground where the children were occupied for hours.

This KOA is full of families and even an overprotective parent like myself felt completely confident allowing the kids free reign to explore the safe, secure campground while the parents were able to relax at their campsite, which was their “home base”.

The camp counselors plan daily activities such as a selfie

SANTA CRUZ / MONTEREY BAY KOA

scavenger hunts, sand art, tie-dye t-shirts, ice cream

Open All Year

social, games, scheduled time to climb the coconut

Reserve: 831-722-0551

tree and more. Banana bike and pedal quad rentals

Info: 831-722-0551

are available as well. With nightly music from local

1186 San Andreas Road

musicians, parents and kids alike were entertained. The

Watsonville, CA 95076

campfire theater offered plenty of laughs whether you

www.koa.com/campgrounds/santa-cruz AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27

[ PARENTING MARRIAGE &] RELATIONSHIPS ]

Alyson Jones is a highly respected therapist, educator and writer who has practiced and defined a no-nonsense approach to an exceptional life, and is excited to share her insights. She is President of a large private counselling centre, Alyson Jones & Associates (alysonjones.ca), where she leads a professional team of therapists who are committed to providing MORE outstanding services to a wide range of clients.

She holds a Masters in Counselling Psychology and has practiced as a therapist for over 20 years, working with all age groups.

Alyson is prominent in the psychological community and is an Adjunct Faculty member at the Adler University in Vancouver, B.C. where she enjoys inspiring her students.

Her authentic, enthusiastic personality captivates audiences and she is often invited by the media to share her extensive knowledge. She is regularly featured on TV and radio programs, as well as contributing to many publications. She is the author of the award winning book MORE A New Philosophy for Exceptional Living. In addition to her professional life, Alyson lives in North Vancouver with her exceptional family where she enjoys being a wife, mother, sister, aunt, daughter, and friend.

7 Tips to Transition Your Kid From Summer to School

by Alyson Jones The heat is a great excuse for indulging ourselves and our children in free time, lemonade and of course ice cream. Summer is truly a magical time filled with less structure, more freedom and fresh air-filled adventures.

But as we dig deeper into August the reality of the new school year begins to emerge, and we know we cannot deny it much longer. Change is coming, and before we know it we will be right in the middle of September, or as we call it in my house “Stresstember.� We know we should begin to plan for the school year, but we do not want to let go of summer. We may lament the end of summer but there may also be some sweet relief when our children are back into the school year routine. The reality is that every season has its beginning and end and our summer is much closer to the end now than the beginning. So, how do we transition ourselves and our children from the summer into the school year without it diminishing our last couple of weeks of freedom?

28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

[ PARENTING ] 1. Bring back the structure gradually. This should not

bring. We all want to belong, and bringing back the

be done with a heavy hammer nor should it be done

sense of belonging to their school and with their peers

suddenly. The return to structure can be done in a way

helps your child feel a part of the community again.

that eases everyone back into the routine. Little by little over the next couple of weeks get the younger children

5. Out with the old and in with the new. The end of the

to bed earlier, and up earlier in the morning. For your

summer can be a great time to do some practical

teenage children discuss the importance of structure. Be

reorganization. The potential of new clothes and a great

clear on your expectations, but do not arbitrarily make

looking room that reflects their style can be a great

all of the decisions. Listen to them and get them involved

motivator to get your children to go through their stuff.

in establishing a progressive return to routine.

Although there may be initial resistance to “cleaning their room” there is usually a positive outcome when

2. Discuss change. Use this transitional time as an

they get rid of the things that they no longer need, thus

opportunity to teach your children that change is

creating a space where new things emerge. This can

natural, healthy and inevitable. It is OK to be sad when

also be a good opportunity to teach them about paying

things change. The reality is that there is usually some

it forward to others through contribution. If you do not

loss associated with change, but there are gains as well.

get too heavy-handed it can be fun to go through the

Change is only your enemy if you fight it. Have an honest

memories that come up with each item of clothing. For

conversation with your children about change and ask

older children, be a resource if needed, but give them

what they feel they might lose at the end of the summer,

the space to organize in a way that works for them.

and what will they gain with the arrival of school year.

6. Technology can be our friend not our foe. Encourage 3. Manage your own anxiety. I cannot stress enough

your children to use technology in a positive way by

how important this point is. Where we lead, children will

using electronic calendars and scheduling tools. In fact,

follow. If you are anxious and stressed about the new

your children might be able to teach you a lesson or two

school year, they will also be. Look for ways to take care

in the use of these helpful applications. The end of the

of yourself first so that you are grounded and can guide

summer is also a good time to refresh and reset the use

them through the changes that are coming. Look for

of technology and review your expectations with the

positive things, and keep your focus on the big picture.

children.

4. Anticipate your child’s anxiety. Let them know that it

7. Focus on connection. Take these last few weeks to fill

is natural to feel worried about the unknown and that

your child up with “you” and the secure feelings that

anxiety is just part of life. Ask them if they are worried

come when your child has your attention and feels

about any particular things and let them talk through it.

your enjoyment of the relationship. Don’t rush through

If there are concrete things you can do then put them in

the family time and spend some one-on-one time with

place. For younger children, a return to the school and a

your child whenever you can. This can be done though

play in the playground can go a long way to decreasing

simple things like a talk and walk, or a family barbecue.

anxiety. For older children, reconnecting with their peers

Be present and enjoy your child; nothing else will prepare

can help ease the anxiety that a new school year may

them better for that school year that that!

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29

[ EDUCATION ]

Private &Schools Open Houses THE QUARRY LANE SCHOOL

SAINT MICHAEL SCHOOL

A Private Preschool, K-12 College Preparatory School www.quarrylane.org

345 Church Street | Livermore, CA 94550 (925) 447-1888 | www.smsliv.org

Dublin: Junior Kindergarten through Grade 12 6363 Tassajara Rd., Dublin, CA 94568

Saint Michael School is proud to provide a quality Catholic education for students in Transitional Kindergarten through Eighth Grade. As a ministry of St. Michael’s Parish, they offer an educational tradition that is rich in faith, focused on academic rigor, and blessed with an active, involved parent community. Contact Saint Michael School to arrange a school visit.

Please call the Admissions Offices at 925-829-8000 to schedule a personal tour of the Dublin Campus.

Pleasanton East Campus: infant, toddler, preschool, prekindergarten and the KIDZONE (before and afterschool programs for public school students.)

3750 Boulder Street, Pleasanton, CA 94566 Open House every Wednesday morning from 8:30am to 12:00pm. Please call the Admissions Office at 925-846-9400 to schedule a personal tour of the Pleasanton East Campus.

VALLEY MONTESORRI SCHOOL 1273 North Livermore Avenue | Livermore, CA 94551 (925) 455-8021 | www.valleymontessorischool.com 18 Months – Middle School

Open House every Wednesday morning from 8:30am to 12:00pm. Please call the Admissions Office at 925-462-6300 to schedule a personal tour of the Pleasanton West Campus.

Valley Montesorri School is guided by the principles and techniques of Maria Montessori to deliver a rich, engaging learning environment. VMS is accredited by the American Montessori Society and adheres to authentic practices recommended by this organization. VMS teachers guide children to self-discovery by embracing curiosity, creativity, and individual choice through meaningful work, so that they can realize their own unique journey. Please call for more information.

STRATFORD SCHOOL

PRIMROSE SCHOOL OF PLEASANTON

Pleasanton West Campus: preschool and pre-kindergarten programs.

4444B Black Avenue, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Preschool to Middle School www.stratfordschools.com Stratford School invites you to join them for an open house event at most of their Northern California campuses. Meet their leadership, teachers, and staff, and explore Stratford’s curriculum. Children are welcome to attend! Book a tour online today at any of the many locations.

Bay Area Locations: Danville, Fremont, Los Gatos, Milpitas, Morgan Hill, Palo Alto, Pleasanton, San Bruno, San Francisco, San Jose, Santa Clara, Sunnyvale

VALLEY CHRISTIAN SCHOOLS 2500 Inspiration Drive | Dublin CA 94568-2838 www.valleychristianschools.org Preschool Office Hours 7am-6pm / (925) 560-6235 Elementary School Office Hours 7am-4pm / (925) 560-6270 Middle & High School Office Hours 7am-4pm / (925) 560-6250 With educational rigor, community engagement, and a sincere pursuit of faith, wisdom, and service, Valley Christian believes that every student can and will flourish. They are open to the public, 9-11 a.m. weekdays. They offer classroom tours and classroom observations (adults only, please). Private tours are also available.

30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

7110 Koll Center Pkwy | Pleasanton, CA 94566 (925) 600-7746 | www.primroseschools.com/schools Pleasanton Infant, Toddler, Early Preschool, Preschool, and Pre-Kindergarten Primrose Schools is a national system of accredited private preschools that provides a premier early education and childcare experience for children and families. Their Franchise Owners, Leadership Teams and School Staff partner with parents to help build the right foundation for future learning and in life. Call or go online to schedule a tour. *Livermore and San Jose locations coming soon!

ST. ISIDORE CATHOLIC SCHOOL 435 La Gonda Way | Danville, CA 94526 (925) 837-2977 | www.stisidore.org Grades K-8 St. Isidore’s is the East Bay’s largest Catholic elementary school—dedicated to an educational experience that cultivates knowledge, leadership, and service in the Catholic tradition.

Parents are invited to join them for community events throughout the year and Mass on the first Friday of every month at 8:10 a.m. Please contact the school office to arrange a campus tour.

[ EDUCATION ] ST. RAYMOND SCHOOL 11557 Shannon Avenue | Dublin, CA 94568 (925) 828-4064 | www.straymondschool.org Kindergarten – Middle School St. Raymond School partners with parents and recognizes them as the primary educators of their children. The school provides support services and comprehensive co-curricular activities as part of the foundation of our educational program. Students strive to persevere through challenges, to solve problems, and to seek deeper knowledge. St. Raymond School empowers all students to achieve academic excellence in a Catholic environment that encourages them to meet the challenges of life and to serve the gospel of Jesus Christ. Contact the school office to confirm a school tour time.

SAN RAMON VALLEY CHRISTIAN ACADEMY 220 W. El Pintado Road | Danville, CA 94526 (925) 838-9622 | www.srvca.org Preschool – Middle School At San Ramon Valley Christian Academy, their mission is to provide a Christ-centered K-8 education in which students develop spiritually, socially and physically, grounded in the truth of God’s word. When your students enroll at San Ramon Valley Christian Academy (SRVCA), the partnership begins.

SRVCA strives to build a partnership between parents, church, and school. Personal tours are offered during school hours so that you can see a typical day on campus in the grades you are interested in.

THE ATHENIAN SCHOOL 2100 Mt. Diablo Scenic Blvd. | Danville, CA 94506 (925) 837-5375 | www.athenian.org/page Middle School – High School

(925) 686-5353 | www.carondeleths.org High School Carondelet is a four-year Catholic high school serving young women in Contra Costa County. Since it’s founding in 1965 by the Sisters of St. Joseph of Carondelet, our school has carried on a proud tradition of values-based, woman-centered education and academic excellence, preparing students for leadership and service in the local and global community.

Please contact Jessica Mix, Director of Admissions at 925-6865353 x367 for more information or visit the website.

THE SEVEN HILLS SCHOOL 975 N San Carlos Dr. | Walnut Creek, CA 94598 (925) 933-0666 | www.sevenhillsschool.org/page Preschool – Middle School A Seven Hills education is based on the whole childphilosophy, as they educate not just the mind but the heart, and attend to the entirety of the student experience. From their Reggioinspired Preschool and developmental Kindergarten, to their adventurous Lower School classes and rigorous Middle School program, Seven Hills students are on a journey of curiosity and exploration, success and setbacks, awareness of self and contribution to others. Please visit the website for admission information.

THE SAKLAN SCHOOL 1678 School St. | Moraga, CA 94556 (925) 376-7900 | www.saklan.org Preschool – 8th Grade

The Athenian School realizes that true multiculturalism and diversity need the spirit of equity and inclusion in order to foster a strong community of learners. Athenian emphasizes skill building around empathy, perspective recognition, analysis and inquiry, self-awareness, and the acknowledgment of environmental privileges. Learning and life are enhanced when we are able to step into the intellectual space of others with respect and understanding. Their goal is that our students, faculty and staff build their capacity to increase their cultural wisdom and create community. Call or go online for all inquires.

The Saklan School offers something very unique. Their mission of thinking creatively, acting compassionately and living courageously is both clear and powerful. When you walk onto the campus and visit the classrooms you notice the extraordinary energy, enthusiasm and purpose that our students possess. This is a place where students of all ages feel safe, secure and connected, a place where students can find their voice, and a place where students of all sizes can dare to dream big. Visit their website to schedule a tour.

DE LA SALLE HIGH SCHOOL

1 Annabel Lane | San Ramon, CA 94583 (925) 930-9000 | www.dorriseaton.com Preschool – 8th Grade

1130 winton Dr. | Concord, CA 94518 (925) 288-8100 | www.dlshs.org High School De La Salle High School was founded in 1965 in the Catholic, Lasallian tradition of the Christian Brothers. As a an allboys’ school, they have an obligation to make a difference in each young man’s life, so that when he leaves them, he will serve others graciously and lovingly. De La Salle cooperates with one another in a spirit of trust and care; their education is practical, accessible to all, and comprehensive. They are committed to the poor. They work together — Brothers, Faculty, Staff and Students. Please contact Joe Grantham at 925-2888102 for more information.

CARONDELET HIGH SCHOOL 1133 Winton Dr. | Concord, CA 94518

THE DORRIS-EATON SCHOOL

The Dorris-Eaton School is recognized locally as well as nationally for its academic excellence. With matchless style, Dorris-Eaton embraces what is best in traditional education and augments it with carefully selected innovations. In addition to the core subjects, students receive specialized instruction in Spanish, studio art, music, computer applications, and physical education. The curriculum is specifically designed to provide students with a solid foundation, and to help them develop the satisfaction of personal achievement and a zeal for learning. To tour the campus, call 925.930.9000 or contact the admissions office at admissions@dorriseaton.com.

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31

[ PARENTING MARRIAGE &] RELATIONSHIPS ]

Transformational coach/author/ speaker Renée Peterson Trudeau is passionate about helping parents come into balance through the art/science of self-care. She’s been featured in The New York Times, Good Housekeeping, Spirituality & Health and more, and thousands of women in ten countries are becoming RTA-Certified Facilitators and leading/joining self-renewal groups/retreats based on her award-winning curriculum. She is the author of several life balance books including The Mother’s Guide to Self-Renewal and Nurturing the Soul of Your Family: 10 Ways to Reconnect and Find Peace in Everyday Life. She lives in Austin, Texas, with her husband and 15 year-old son. Subscribe to her weekly, award-winning blog Live Inside Out here and check out her upcoming retreats at www.

ReneeTrudeau.com.

7 Back-To-School Strategies To Promote Less Stress & More Flow

by Renée Peterson Trudeau It’s 1976. I’m in fifth grade and standing by our front door with my red plaid backpack. My eyes scanning, I watch my four younger brothers dart from room to room. My stomach is in knots. It’s 7:45 a.m. We should have left fifteen minutes ago. Lunches are half-made, my brothers are shooting slingshots and my mom — never a morning person — is admonishing my dad, our morning chauffeur, about forgetting to pay a bill. Our orange VW van pulls up late to the Montessori school and my siblings and I tumble out, rattled. We scatter to our classrooms. I look back for a minute and see my dad hunched over the wheel eating Grape-Nuts out of a measuring cup before starting the car again. His jaw is clenched; his brow is knit with stress. God bless him.

Growing up I remember my family’s morning routine being a three-ring circus.

Perhaps this is unavoidable when you’re from a big family (I’m the oldest of seven), but after I became a parent, I wanted to do it differently.

32 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

[ PARENTING ] Today, as a life balance coach and knowing that the

everyone’s upcoming activities. Plan ahead so you

morning start can set the tone for the entire day, I like to

can create pockets of unscheduled time.

begin every new school year by asking, “What things can we do to support our family in experiencing less stress

5. Get the support you need. Anticipate and plan for

and more flow in the coming school year?” Transitions

what type of personal, family and professional support

can be stressful and family life is messy, but just taking a

you and your kids may need this fall (parenting coach,

bit of time to reflect on your intention for this fresh start

meal prep, carpooling, a career mentor). Reach out

can make a big difference.

and ask for help – support makes all the difference in how you experience the journey.

Here are seven things my family has found to be helpful in setting the course for a more flowing fall:

6. Make self-nourishment a priority. Physical/mental/ emotional/spiritual renewal are essential to your

1. Pause: Ask your family what worked and what didn’t

happiness and well-being. What most nourishes your

last school year? My husband and I have been

family (camping trips, family game nights, weekend

discussing the root causes for some of the stress we

getaways, unscheduled Sundays, nature walks in your

experienced with our teenage son last spring. We

favorite woods)? Schedule these respites now and

identified three things that we’re addressing with him

make them a priority.

so we don’t repeat these patterns and we’re soliciting his ideas, too. Ahhhh, I feel better already!

7. Communicate the plan. Whether you have a toddler or a teen, kids like to know that “we’re all in this together”

2. Create a vision: What’s your intention for the fall?

and their voice matters. Take time to solicit their input

How do you want to experience school mornings and

(What DO you want for breakfast?), ask them to help

evenings? What words come to mind? Does anyone

engage in problem solving (What are your ideas to

in your family have special needs this fall (a career

promote a better sleep routine?) and then write down

transition, health challenge or learning disability) that

some of your collective decisions/guidelines so you’re

require extra attention? Some families even like to

all on the same page. This can create feelings of

come up with a mantra or theme for the year.

camaraderie and cohesiveness.

3. Don’t over-schedule yourself or your kids. When we do

Even if you just adopted one of these strategies, it could

less, we experience more joy, freedom and connection

make a huge difference in how you experience the

with our loved ones. Learning to say no is one of the

launch of the school year. Change can be challenging

most helpful skills you can master.

for many personality types. Be easy on yourself and remember, people first, things second. Sometimes we’re

4. Create structure so you can flow. I know many of

hardest on those that we love the most.

us love and value spontaneity (me too), but a little planning can help create a greater sense of ease

SCHEDULE A BREAK NOW: Every August, I spend a few

when everyone knows what to expect. Maybe

minutes with my calendar scheduling in downtime

Monday is Funday (i.e., dessert night or Scrabble after

over the next three months. Whether it’s a one-day

dinner), Sunday nights are for planning out the week’s

or weekend retreat or a nature respite with my family,

driving/activity schedule, or a bulletin board in your

having this getaway on the books helps me breathe just

kitchen posts the month’s calendar and includes

a little easier as I ease into autumn.

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 33

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

The Best of the Best Exploring Two of Tahoe’s Finest Resorts Every parent wants to keep their kids happy, engaged and entertained during those seemingly long Summer months, but while on vacation, “adult fun” and “children fun” don’t always coincide. Why not enjoy some grownup time in Tahoe while smaller ones enjoy the activities they really like — arts & crafts, games, hiking, swimming, and more?

The Hyatt Regency Lake Tahoe Resort, Spa and Casino and Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows both offer a plethora of adult and family fun. And if you’re looking for some fantastic kids’ camps available in the Tahoe area, add these two resorts to your list.

fireplaces, gorgeous lake views and private balconies, with plenty of room to sprawl out. Enjoy a cozy, fireside meal at Lone Eagle Grill, or casual laid-back fare at Lakeside Beach Bar and Grill. For some awesome family time with the kids, hit up Action Water Sports of Incline Village, located right on Hyatt’s private beach. Rent a kayak, jet ski or paddle board, or book a tour on a fishing charter, Catamaran, boat cruise or yacht. Adventurous types may choose to try out parasailing, or book a wakeboard, waterski or surfing lesson. Another fun family option is to book a “Fishable Lake Tahoe” experience, where guests head out in the morning on a guided fishing trip and return with their catch to Lone Eagle Grill, where chefs prepare your fresh fish according to your tastes.

HYATT REGENCY LAKE TAHOE RESORT, SPA AND CASINO ACCOMMODATIONS & DINING Your family will stay comfortable in the Hyatt Regency’s Lakeside Cottages, which offer 1-2 bedroom options with 34 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

The Hyatt Regency Lake Tahoe Resort, Spa and Casino is located across the street (or over the walking bridge) and boasts 422 beautiful rooms and suites, a casino, several restaurants and bars. Children will enjoy the

[ SEASONAL FUN ] “Old West” vibe of Cutthroat’s Saloon. Tahoe Provisions is a convenient gourmet grocer located right inside the resort. A multiple pool and Jacuzzi area and a kids’ wading pool will welcome you to the lower level. Grab a sitter and head to the casino where you will find slots, blackjack, roulette, craps and a non-smoking poker room.

STILLWATER SPA Be sure to plan ahead and take full advantage of the ultimate retreat found at the Stillwater Spa & Salon.

Escape into full luxury for an hour or stay all day utilizing the dry cedar sauna, eucalyptus steam room, and specialized relaxation areas. Spa services are inspired by and infused with the natural elements of air, water, earth, and fire. We highly recommend the 80-minute Stillwater Massage and the Stillwater Pedicure, both guaranteed to leave you feeling reinvigorated, recharged and renewed.

included. A 24hr advance reservation is required to book a spot.

Daily activities include beach games, swimming, arts & crafts, lake walks, scavenger hunts and more. Activities will depend on which session your child is enrolled in, am or pm. Nighttime activities include fire pit time, movies, video games, indoor games and other nighttime appropriate fun. Engaging counselors will ensure hours of fun while adults relax poolside sans kids or indulge at the Stillwater Spa & Salon (see inset). You can also try your luck at the Grand Lodge Casino while the kids are taken care of and having a blast at Camp Hyatt.

Camp Hyatt at The Hyatt Regency Lake Tahoe, for reservations call (775) 886-6714 For Reservations, www.laketahoe.regency.hyatt.com

Stillwater Spa’s amenities include 16 treatment rooms including two couple’s sanctuaries, one with a fireplace and the other with an infinity tub. Amenities include private lockers, robe, and slippers, to ensure absolute comfort. Stillwater Spa also features a state of the art fitness center as well as a full service salon.

CAMP HYATT To know your little ones are cared for in a safe, nurturing environment while you’re away from them is a priceless feeling any parent can appreciate. Camp Hyatt runs from Memorial Day through Labor Day, and is open to children ages 5 through 12 yrs-old. The camp runs two sessions a day, 9 am to 4 pm, or 5 pm to 11 pm, and the cost is $80 per session, with a meal (lunch or dinner)

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 35

[ SEASONAL FUN ] Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows At Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows, families can choose to stay in any sized room to fit their needs, from a studio to three-bedroom. Every room, no matter the size, comes with a full-sized kitchen stocked with a microwave, dishwasher, refrigerator, utensils and range top. There are plenty of restaurants in the area to choose from when you don’t want cook in your room, from pizza, salad & sandwiches, and sushi to an Irish pub. Be sure to try Uncorked Wine Bar for a nice date night or friendsnight out while you take advantage of the childcare options mentioned below.

Squaw Kids’ Adventure Camp Offered Fridays through Mondays, the Squaw Kids’ Adventure Camp is a fantastic outdoor experience for children 5-13. The camp is open June 23-Sept 4, from 9 a.m. to 3 p.m. Children are divided into two age groups; “Explorers” (ages 5-7) and “Mountaineers” (ages 8-13.) The camp is run by experienced counselors who emphasize fun, learning and safety. The daily full day session price ($124) includes an Aerial Tram ticket, activity supplies, and a healthy lunch and snacks.

Daily activities may include arts & crafts, swimming, Eco-hikes, geo-catching, yoga, cooking classes, flower press, lawn games, engineering projects and more.

With a winter that delivered a higher than average snowpack, Squaw is excited to add snow shoeing/ snow play as well as Map and Compass/ GPS classes and plant sciences to their programming. In a period in time were it is more important than ever for children to make positive connections with our natural environment, Adventure Camp is a safe setting for kids to have fun in the heart of these extraordinary mountains. *Tip - Save $20 off the daily price when you book 2 days in advance.

Squaw Kids’ Adventure Camp at Squaw Valley Alpine Meadows, for reservations call (1-800)403-0206 36 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

IN-ROOM BABYSITTING If you’re still craving more adult-only time after hours, or have babies and toddlers that aren’t old enough or camp, try the trusted, local babysitting service “Lake Tahoe Sitters,” which services families with newborns, up to teenagers, and also who have special needs children. A vetted, background checked and CPR certified babysitter will come to your hotel or vacation rental and even bring activities, such as board games, to keep kids entertained. The company a great choice for special event babysitting if you need to attend a wedding or work event, or simply want a romantic night out. (530) 545-1217, laketahoesitters.com.

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 37

[ CHILDREN & EDUCATION ]

Is Your Child Ready For School?

by Gena Lewis, MD, And Diane Halberg, MD This month, many parents of 5-year-olds will have to determine if their children are Bonnie Lovette, RN, MS, PNP, is the Injury Prevention Coordinator in Trauma Services at UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Oakland

ready to start kindergarten.

WAYS TO MEASURE YOUR CHILD’S SCHOOL READINESS School readiness has a unique set of criteria for each child, but there are a few universal milestones that all children need to reach in order to succeed in school.

Parents can also help their children develop skills and behaviors before the start of school.

USING THE BIRTH MONTH TO DETERMINE READINESS In his book, “Outliers,” Malcolm Gladwell suggests that success at an early age is based on birth month. Gladwell argues that children born in the early months of the year are a few months older than their peers when they start kindergarten and these few months make an incredible difference in physical, social, intellectual, and emotional development.

38 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

[ CHILDREN & EDUCATION ] These slightly older children born in the early months of

on intelligent conversations with adults and, more

the year often excel at academics and sports. They are

importantly, with other children. If a child’s primary

recognized as the children with potential by teachers

language is not fully understandable to family members,

and coaches, and are mentored and praised more than

new friends also probably won’t be able to understand

other children. Gaining recognition and special attention

the child either. This can lead to tremendous frustration

therefore encourages these slightly older children to feel

for the child to communicate wants and needs. It can

better about themselves and work harder in order to

cause the child to be ostracized by other children and

garner more praise and positive self-esteem.

often results in the child’s acting out with aggressive behavior that garners negative attention from teachers.

However, this does not mean that parents need to hold their children back to be one of the older children in the

If your child has a communication issue, you should

classroom. Parents can work with their children at home

ask his pediatrician about obtaining a full hearing and

to the develop skills they need before the start of the

speech skills evaluation before the start of school. Taking

school year.

THE SKILLS NEEDED FOR KINDERGARTEN Cooperation Knowing how to make friends, learning to participate, sharing, and getting along with other children are crucial to success in kindergarten. Preschool is a good place to learn these skills. Summer is also a great opportunity to practice these skills. Younger-age children can practice with other same-aged children and may be join in the classroom come fall. For the shy child, knowing one or two children before the start of school can be very comforting and make the transition much smoother. For more rambunctious children, practicing cooperative play with potential classmates gives them the success and self-confidence to continue that behavior in the school setting.

Self-Care

care of the problem before school starts will lead to a more confident and capable child and a better school year. Once the issue has been addressed medically, it is easier for the school to help with special services if needed.

Organization and Attentiveness Organization and attentiveness in the classroom are important to ensuring a child has a happy school experience. Learning the routine of a school day can make the transition feel more natural.

Play school: Parents can set up a “school” in the living room or a quiet area and sit down with their child at a table to work on a “school project” for 15 minutes.

Projects may include drawing and cutting out shapes; writing a name with capital and lower case letters on a piece of paper; and reading to the child.

Another important clue to a child’s school readiness is his ability to care for him or herself. Daily activities of life such

Establish a routine: Parents can go over the next

as toileting, dressing, feeding, and cleaning up after him

morning’s plan verbally with their child: “When we wake

or herself are key to children’s being ready to master

up tomorrow, we’ll have a hug, then brush our teeth,

other areas of learning. Practicing some of these skills at

wash our face, and get dressed. Then we will have

a new school before the start of the school year can be

breakfast, pack our lunch, and go to school and have

exciting and empowering. Making school an extension

a great day.” This kind of activity helps children choose

of home makes self-care activity easier.

what to wear the night before school and what to expect in the morning before the leave for school.

Language

Explore outside: Not all learning takes place in the

Another important skill for children to master before

classroom. Parents can take a nature walk in the

starting school is language. By kindergarten, most

neighborhood and collect leaves, sticks, acorns, and

children are speaking fluently and are able to carry

feathers.

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 39

[ CHILDREN & EDUCATION ] The Growing Room Academy offers Chess Club for grades 1-5.

(Academy members only).

For more information about how to become an Academy member and how to register your child please visit: http://thegrowingroom.org/ locations/the-academy

Ways to Promote Passion-Based Learning in Your Home

by The Growing Room Remember when the giant anthill down the street captivated your attention for days? What about the weeks spent dismantling electronic devices or spending untold hours in your bedroom refining those guitar skills? Chances are those experiences — galvanized by unbridled curiosity and passion — still conjure up fond childhood memories and serve as a catalyst for a wide breadth of knowledge. Why? Passionate engagement is the root of learning (and remembering). Experience and common sense tell us that children are more likely to learn if they are motivated by and engaged with the subject or project at hand. Now science is telling us the same thing.

When children/teenagers are passionately engaged in learning a myriad of responses in their brains are making connections and building schema that simply would not occur without that passion or emotion. Some educators or psychologists call it being “in the flow” or “in the zone”— it is that magical moment when kids are mesmerized by their learning environment or activities — those times when hours pass in a blink of an eye.

Traditionally, students are expected to memorize facts and figures, yet memorization has little emotional charge to it. Emotions can significantly alter the creation and recall of memories. All of us, young and old, are better at remembering information that is emotionally charged rather than information that is neutral or flat. Passion-based learning unlocks the imagination and unleashes curiosity. It empowers kids to feel in control of their own learning.

As a parent (and your children’s most important teacher) how can you spark a passion for learning in your own home? Whether you are talking about passion, inspiring passion, cultivating passion, or thinking passionately about your own interests, you can be the one to revolutionize learning in your home.

40 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

[ CHILDREN & EDUCATION ] Value all passions equally while seeking to understand

Books, websites, and after school classes offered in your

where they come from.

community are an excellent source of inspiration and

Try not to let any bias creep into the picture when it

knowledge.

comes to your children’s passions. While it may make you happy to learn that your daughter shares your love

Connect children’s passions to real-world scenarios.

of marine biology, be sure and honor the emerging

Once your child is immersed in his own activities and

moviemaking passion demonstrated by her brother.

self-paced learning, introduce him to the practical

Though you may harbor a secret fondness for the former,

applications of his interests. A child interested in robotics

do not let it show. For some children, an expressed

would benefit from viewing videos of robot competitions

passion may be a way to connect or create a bond

and other engineering projects from universities and

between a parent or a peer. Understanding the origins

institutes across the world. Emphasizing the real-life

will help you guide and direct its growth.

significance of machines built to help people, whether in life-threatening medical situations or in the kitchen at

Let children take control.

home, can add another level of interest.

When children feel they are in control of their own learning, they value it twice as much as they would

Connect passions with intelligence, not talent.

otherwise. This includes setting aside adequate time to

When your child creates an outstanding watercolor

allow that “in the flow” stream of thought and focus.

painting or wins a local art contest don’t just make him

Strict adherence to timetables makes it impossible for

feel talented; make him feel smart. Compliments such

a child to passionately engage in an activity. Set aside

as, “You have a keen eye for detail”, “You really know

enough time in your daily schedule to provide those

how to paint!” can make your child feel that the skill is in

passions an outlet. Your child will reap the benefits.

her control, something she earned because of effort and enthusiasm for learning, not simply a “gift.”

Allow Children to freely share their passions.

Let kids share their passions individually and with

Trust that hard work follows naturally from passion.

others. The act of sharing something personally fulfilling

It is truly amazing to witness the magic that occurs when

enhances excitement and provides further motivation. It

a child is passionately engaged in learning. When

is also best to allow the intrinsic passion to flourish within

children are motivated to learn, they seem to naturally

the child organically. Outside influence highlighting the

develop those skills they need for the task at hand. As

practical value of a child’s passion can stimulate interest

parents, we can assist where needed, but the intrinsic

for the long haul; however, initially allowing the child to

desire to achieve, learn, and produce is what spawns the

exercise autonomy and control over learning provides a

best results.

powerful impact. Feedback or judgments can damper enthusiasm. This is the time to allow the momentum of

Indulge in your own passions and share those passions

your child’s enthusiasm to drive the outcome.

with your kids.

Whatever your personal hobby or interest — make

Connect your child with others who share the same

time for it! Whether it’s fitness, gardening, building, or

passion.

astronomy, the energy and enthusiasm you have for

Sharing a passion with someone who is equally

the activity will be contagious. Children love to model

enthusiastic is powerful! It is wonderful to share a passion

parent’s behavior. Seeing you making the time for

with someone who reciprocates that passion; not only

something that is important to you and including them in

does it confirm that your child’s passion is valued; it

the process will have a profound impact. This also can

confirms that as a person, he/she is valued.

include participating in ongoing education, listening and sharing TED talks or podcasts and finding inspiration

Introduce your child to resources that help them exercise

in other impassioned educators. You aren’t as likely to

their passions.

ignite the joy and excitement of learning if you are not

When the timing seems appropriate, introduce your

excited yourself. The passion you direct into something

child to resources that will fuel their curiosity and passion.

you love will inspire your kids to do the same.

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 41

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ]

Harness the Power of Low and Slow

by Carrie Contey, Ph.D. We’re talking about Personhood and self care this month and I know that in the midst of life, focusing on these elements is not always easy. Today I want to introduce one of my favorite practices, that may not even feel like self care, but it truly is.

When life feels swirly and unsteady and chaotic and unmoored, get LOW + SLOW. The only way to slow down the feeling of “out of control” or “this is too much” or “I just can’t can’t” is to: Stop – Stop your body. Stop your thoughts. Stop your stories.

Get Low – Lay down on the ground or on the couch or on the bed. If you can’t, just bring your awareness to your feet. Physically, emotionally, spiritually…Get down, baby.

Carrie Contey is an internationally recognized coach, author, speaker and educator. Her work offers a new perspective on human development, parenting and family life. She guides, supports and inspires her clients to live with wide open and courageous hearts so they can approach family life with skill, spaciousness and joy.

Carrie received her PhD in prenatal and perinatal psychology and is masterful at synthesizing and articulating the science, psychology, and spirituality of humanhood. She is the creator of “Evolve” a year-long “personal growth through parenting” program. She is also the cofounder of the Slow Family Living movement and the coauthor of CALMS: A Guide To Soothing Your Baby. Carrie has appeared on NBC’s The Today Show, NPR, CBS radio and in many publications including Time, Parenting and The Boston Globe. Currently she lives, works and plays in Austin, TX but spends as much time as she can traveling, speaking, creating things that make family life more wonderful and living her very own extraordinary life to the fullest! To learn more, visit www.carriecontey.com

Breathe – Take one. Then another. Then another.

Breathe again.

Then, yes, a little more breathing.

Put your hand on your heart and say, “I’m safe. I feel unsafe and I am safe.”

Look around and notice what you see – “Blue sky. White clouds. Green grass.

Picture. Kitchen. Chair. Pillow.”

Start appreciating what you can appreciate – “The sun came up again. Sure they make me feel like I’m losing my mind, however, my people, these people I wished for in my life, are healthy and growing and won’t always be in this phase. I have ways to connect with the world. I have people to reach out to.

I get to struggle with the things that feel hard and I can see that it’s growing me/us/all.”

Take some more deep breaths.

When things feel overwhelming all you can do is slow or stop the swirl. And only you can slow or stop your swirl.

If you are feeling out of sorts, do these things several times throughout the day.

If you are feeling steady, go big with your appreciations. It’s like money in your emotional bank account.

The more you have in, the more you have to draw upon when things do feel a little less easeful.

We’re all just finding our way.

Go gently, beautiful being,

42 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

Ready. Set. Enroll.

Stratford School nurtures the joy of learning in children.

Now Enrolling

Enroll your child in a school that inspires children to become tomorrow’s creative problem-solvers, innovators, and confident leaders.

PRESCHOOL – 8TH

Schedule a tour today!

StratfordSchools.com/tours

The curiosity to reach.

The courage to grasp.

GE

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OF

WE S

ASSOCIAT I

ON

RN

Accrediting Commission for Schools

O

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@Stratford

SCH

Summer

TE

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AND CO

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Preschool State License Numbers: 073402482, 013417816, 013420588, 434404890, 434408056, 434407977, 434404336, 434406722, 434408877, 384001837, 434410807, 434410816, 073406680, 013420939, 414004014, 434413440. © 2017 Stratford Schools, Inc.

[ PARENTING MARRIAGE &] RELATIONSHIPS ]

Parenting expert and “recovering yeller” Amy McCready is the Founder of Positive Parenting Solutions and the author of If I Have to Tell You One More Time…

The Revolutionary Program That Gets Your Kids to Listen Without Nagging, Reminding or Yelling (Penguin, 2011.) Amy is a regular parenting contributor on The TODAY Show and has also appeared on Rachael Ray, CBS This Morning, CNN, Fox & Friends, MSNBC, Steve Harvey and elsewhere. In her most important role, she plays mom to two teenage boys. Follow Amy on Twitter @AmyMcCreadyPPS.

One Simple Strategy to Help Make Homework Time Easier

by Amy McCready It is time to retire the red pencil?

How many of us have been guilty of subscribing to “red pencil mentality?”

You know, when we focus on the homework mistakes rather than on what’s correct? Probably most of us; because it’s human nature. However, focusing on our kids’ mistakes or the wrong answers can be a big source of homework power struggles.

Let’s put ourselves in their shoes. What happens when someone points out our mistakes? It makes us feel judged. The same goes for kids. When we focus on what they got wrong, they feel judged and discouraged, which makes the situation ripe for eye rolls and power struggles.

44 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017

[ PARENTING ] To turn the tables, let’s retire the red pencil and try these tips instead:

• Begin homework time by focusing on Rather than pointing out what’s wrong, notice progress and improvements. Praise persistence. These strategies will go a long way towards diffusing power struggles and will keep the next homework time from becoming a battle ground.

• Comment first on the correct Your kids will feel encouraged when you point out what they did well.

When you do find a mistake, don’t slide into critical mode. Stay encouraging and ask, “What did you learn from this answer that you got right that might help you solve this one?” That not only keeps them from feeling defensive, it also encourages them to think about problems creatively and see them as opportunities to learn. That’s is a great reminder for all of us.

• Encourage mistakes! They’re are part of the learning curve, and part of what helps find innovative, new ways of doing things. Mistakes are something to be celebrated, not red-lined.

What do you say we retire the red pencil? I encourage you to adopt a new mindset when it comes to your kids’ homework and test mistakes. Not only will you avoid a power struggle or two, you’ll find your kids are more likely to try new things and take risks in their learning. When that happens, you begin to foster a sense of discovery and innovation that will take them so much further in life than any red line ever would.

History is filled with stories of mistakes that turn out to be brilliant inventions or positive turns in the road for people.

Celebrate them, and your kid for trying their best and persevering! It’s a game-changer!

AUGUST 2017 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 45

[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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48 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | AUGUST 2017