Active Family Magazine - October 2016

OCTOBER 2016

PUMPKIN PATCH GUIDE

7 SURPRISING SOLUTIONS That Boost Kids’ School Success

HALLOWEEN

WEEKEND EVENTS

ENCOUNTER A

COLONY OF PENGUINS A SCHOOL OF FISH AND GALAXIES OF STARS all in one day

Daily Penguin Feedings Learn what’s on the menu and chat with a biologist.

Meet African penguins and nearly 40,000 other creatures at the only aquarium-planetariumrainforest-living museum.

Get ticketsFAMIL at calacademy.org 2 ACTIVE Y | OCTOBER 2016

60 Bay Area locations.

Including Bayside Medical Group and Livermore Pleasanton San Ramon Pediatrics Group

Access to Excellence.

Volume 3 / Issue 33

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ] Recognizing Your Relationship Patterns

7 Surprising Solutions That Boost Kids’ School Success

20

8 [ SEASONAL FUN ] Halloween Weekend Events

10

[ CHILDREN’S HEALTH ] The Hungry Mind: The Role of Curiosity in Education

32

The Seven Moms In A Group Text

24

Ask a UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Expert

34

[ EVENTS] October Calendar

Pumpkin Patch Guide

18

28

[ WOMEN’S HEALTH ]

[ PARENTING ] The Index Card Every Kid Needs to Get

14

Please Stop Interrupting Me!

28

18 4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

14

28

Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area Publisher/Editor

Marketing Assistant Interns

Contributing Authors

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Jaida Sinclair Alexis Faria

Dr. Michele Borba The Growing Room Christine Carter, PhD Dr. Gail Gross Rachel Macy Stafford

Advertising Sales Director

Fashion Editor

Kathy Brillheart kbrillheart@activefamilymag.com

Rachel Fawkes www.fawkeshunter.com

Advertising Sales Managers April Gentry agentry@activefamilymag.com

Design/Production

Mary Oakes moakes@activefamilymag.com

Ad Design/Production

Teresa Agnew Craft Lara Mays

Janet Pasco jpasco@activefamilymag.com

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709 Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note It’s ghost and goblin season! Time to dress up your little ones in their favorite Fall attire or costume and head to one of the many amazing Pumpkin Patches our area has to offer! Turn to page 30 to find our annual Pumpkin Patch Guide.

Joan’s Farm in Livermore continues to be one of our all-time favorites if you are looking for an authentic, good old fashioned Pumpkin Patch. With hay rides, gem panning, corn maze, farm animals and, of course, the biggest pumpkin patch around, your family will be sure enjoy hours of fun!

Also included in our October issue is the Halloween Weekend Events Guide on page 10. The fun continues on page 18 with our monthly calendar of events.

Still looking for things to do? Then head on over to our website for additional ideas at www.activefamilymag.com Wishing you a spooktacular Halloween!

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

SPORTS MEDICINE CENTER FOR YOUNG ATHLETES Free 2016 Lectures & Hands-On Workshops

FREE AND OPEN TO:

RSVP:

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Walnut Creek 925-979-3420

Athletes age 9 to 25 and parents Youth sports coaches Athletic trainers Athletic directors

Oakland 510-428-3558

Walnut Creek Campus, 2401 Shadelands Dr., Walnut Creek Oakland Campus, 744 52nd St., Oakland

Attend in person or watch live online.

Baseball

Nutrition

ACL Prevention

Dance Medicine

Swimming: Stretches & Exercises

Strength in the Young Athlete

Tuesday, June 28, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Tuesday, October 25, 7-8 p.m.

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Tuesday, January 26, 7-8 p.m.

Oakland Campus

Tuesday, February 23, 7-8 p.m.

Oakland Campus

Running Clinic

Tuesday, March 22, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Gymnastics

Tuesday, April 26, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Tuesday, May 24, 7-8 p.m.

Oakland Campus

Tuesday, September 27, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Volleyball

Basketball

Tuesday, July 26, 7-8 p.m.

Oakland Campus

Tuesday, November 15, 7-8 p.m.

Oakland Campus

Concussion

Wrestling

Tuesday, August 23, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Tuesday, December 13, 7-8 p.m.

Walnut Creek Campus

Attend in person or watch live online at bitly.com/sportslectures2016 Oakland 510-428-3558

San Francisco 415-353-2808

San Ramon 925-979-3450

744 52nd St. Oakland, CA 94609

1500 Owens Street San Francisco, CA 94158

2303 Camino Ramon, Suite 175 San Ramon, CA 94583

Walnut Creek Center: 925-979-3430 Motion Lab: 925-979-3420 2401 Shadelands Dr. Walnut Creek, CA 94598

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ] Dr. Gail Gross, Ph.D., Ed.D., M.Ed., is a nationally recognized family and child development expert, author, and educator. Her positive and integrative approach to difficult issues helps families navigate today’s complex problems. A dependable authority, Dr. Gross has contributed to broadcast, print and online media including CNN, FOX’s The O’Reilly Factor, MSNBC, The New York Times and USA Today.

ABC, CBS and KHOU, Great Day Houston Show. She is a veteran radio talk show host as well as the host of the nationally syndicated PBS program, “Let’s Talk.”

Dr. Gross’ soon-to-be second book, How to Build Your Baby’s Brain, teaches parents how to enhance a child’s learning potential through various developmental stages.

Two additional books are slated to follow, including The Only Way Out Is Through, a Jungian approach to navigating life’s transitions including grieving, and Defining Moments, which recounts the defining moments of celebrity guests as shared with Dr. Gross during interviews on PBS’ “Let’s Talk.” www.drgailgross.com

Recognizing Your Relationship Patterns

by Dr. Gail Gross Romance and sexual passion are connected in a very real way to the deepest patterns of our childhood, those relationship patterns that we experience with our mother and father from the earliest stages of development.

Parental bonds The way your parents cared for and bonded to you, the way they related to you emotionally — those early patterns of interaction are what you seek as an adult in relationships. In fact, it is those familiar and early patterns that create the charge you consider as passion, sexual arousal, and love. It is really not about the outer world — it is not about freedom, adventure, or even provocative experiences — but, rather, the inner patterns of desire that you project onto a familiar target. The man or woman who represents for you the patterns of early childhood that you understand and know how to do.

In everyone’s life from birth to death, there are only two people: mother and father. These central figures create what Carl Jung called the incest mystery.

Not physical incest, but the emotional incest of longing for the familiar that lives in your unconscious.

For example, if your father was a controlling person, and you are a female, you may gravitate to a controlling man. He turns you on because he is tapping into your early experiences of the relationship with your father…the experiences you define as love.

Relationship Patterns You know how to do that, after all you are used to it: you related to male dominance for most of your life and you understand how to work that pattern.

Thus, the other is really a blank face unto which you cast a highly charged and

8 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ] romantic feeling. This exemplifies the rose colored glasses of early relationships, the romantic charge that you define as love. As time moves on, under the radar, you are changing, and by maturing, you no longer need that controlling or dominant behavior to make you feel the heightened state of romantic, sexual attraction. Hence, you may start to lose that passion for the other.

What is happening is that you are taking back your projection and integrating it into your unconscious. Now, you no longer need that other person to help you work out your early childhood patterns‌ the ones you are still trying to get right. If, in fact, you can integrate these patterns, then you will no longer need to bring into your sphere the controlling, dominating person that reminds you of father.

If you do not successfully integrate your early childhood patterns, then you are doomed to act them out again and again. Thus you might find yourself looking for that pattern, or need, for example control, rather than the mate you think you want.

you may cause him. This is his way of compensating for the loss of control and vulnerability that is so much a part of sexual activity.

Consciously moving forward There are no quick fixes here. To know yourself and your partner, and what drives you both emotionally is to move forward from consciousness instead of projection. This breaks the cycle of early patterns that define us and thus ignites both passion and desire.

The stage is not the thing; but rather, the intimacy of relationship can only occur from the recognition, acknowledgment, and integration of self-knowledge.

This leads you toward the positive incest mystery and the mate who carries the positive characteristics of the opposite sex parent. Here, is where love and desire become lasting.

This will give you the relationship that is mutual and loving, rather than the shallow and often empty feeling that occurs when you try to make something happen.

Inner work On the other hand, if you treat your relationship problems superficially and search for love, passion, romance, adventure and freedom, you will just find yourself stuck looking for love in all the wrong places.

No one can make another person love them, no matter what they try to do. But a loving relationship that is both conscious and intimate holds the deepest feelings of attraction and love.

The real aphrodisiac

The work is inner work. First you must find out who you are: know yourself and the difference between your wants and your needs. Let’s stay with the paradigm of the controlling man for a moment. If this type of male excites you, you will reach for him repetitively, as if compelled.

However, if you recognize your own early patterns and needs, you can learn to override that compulsion, and in time you will consciously recognize those red flags, which will turn you away from your needs into the direction of your wants.

Sabotaging intimacy Further, if control is your need, you may find that your controlling man has problems with intimacy. Why? Because controlling men fear the loss of control that accompanies the vulnerability of intimacy. This type of male often initiates a fight after an intimate experience, such as sex. By sabotaging the intimacy of relationship, the controlling male creates control once again through the space and distance of anger, as he can control the pain he deals himself, rather than the fear of rejection

The familiarity of intimacy reaches the non-verbal and emotional cues of trust, value, respect, and validation that enhance desire and spark sexual interest.

Communication and empathy for one another can become the real turn-ons in a relationship. Intimacy is the gold ring to reach for and it occurs when you find the person you want, rather than the person you need.

This takes self-knowledge and inner work. Here is the real aphrodisiac that keeps desire, love, and passion alive.

Insight breaks the cycle of seek and find that keeps you always looking for the momentary high, when the texture of the relationship is unconscious. When desire and love are based on external information and behavioral antics, one is set up to fail in the long run. There are no instant cures and no substitute for inner knowledge.

Getting to the heart of the matter, healthy relationships are built on mutuality, empathy, communication, and a lifelong and exciting journey of learning about both you and your partner’s emotional worlds.

OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Halloween Weekend Events Alameda County OCTOBER 1 Airport Open House Livermore Airport Livermore 10:00am – 4:00pm www.lvwine.org Taste of Africa Firehouse Arts Center Pleasanton 10:00am – 6:00pm www.chezanami.org

Cal Sailing Club Open House Cal Sailing Club Berkeley 11:00am – 3:00pm www.cal-sailing.org

Foods of the Americas: Family Day! UC Botanical Garden Berkeley 11:00am – 3:00pm www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

Free First Sunday OMCA Oakland 10:00am – 6:00pm www.museumca.org

OCTOBER 2, 9, 16, 23 & 30

OCTOBER 2 Dogtoberfest Robert Livermore Park Livermore 11:00am – 2:00pm www.facebook.com/ events/1585369908423543/ Rhythmix ‘Round the World Festivial 2513 Blanding Ave Alameda 1:00pm – 4:00pm www.rhythmix.org/events/round-theworld-festival.html

10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

Rockridge Ice Cream Tour Rockridge Oakland 3:00pm www.rockridgefoodtour.com/tours/icecream-tour/

OCTOBER 7 $5 First Fridays Chabot Space & Science Center Oakland 6:00pm – 11:00pm www.chabotspace.org/first-fridays.htm

OCTOBER 7, 14, 21 & 28 Friday Nights @ OMCA OMCA Oakland 5:00pm – 10:00pm www.museumca.org/friday-nights-omca

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Halloween Weekend Events OCTOBER 8

OCTOBER 12

OCTOBER 15

Art Walk Livermore Downtown Livermore Livermore 11:00am – 5:00pm www.bothwell.lvpac.org

Tilden Young Naturalists Tilden Nature Area Berkeley 3:30pm – 5:00pm www.ebparks.org

Zookids, Dens Domiciles & Dwellings Oakland Zoo Oakland 9:30am – 12:00pm www.oaklandzoo.org

Seussical by Bay Area Children’s Theatre Bay Area Children’s Theatre Berkeley Times Vary www.bactheatre.org/shows/Seussical

OCTOBER 12 – 15

OCTOBER 16

Autumn Lights Festival Lake Merritt Oakland Times Vary www.gardensatlakemerritt.org/5th-anniversary-autumn-lights-festival

22nd Annual Days of the Dead Community Celebration OMCA Oakland 12:00pm – 4:30pm www.museumca.org/2016/22nd-annualdays-dead-community-celebration

OCTOBER 8 – 9 Harvest Festival Ardenwood Historic Farm Fremont 10:00am – 5:00pm www.ebparks.org

OCTOBER 9 Antiques and Collectibles Faire Downtown Pleasanton Pleasanton 8:00am – 4:00pm www.pleasantonantiquefaire.com Rockridge Out & About College Ave Oakland 12:00pm – 6:00pm www.rockridgeoutandabout.com

OCTOBER 21 Zoovie Night Oakland Zoo Oakland 6:30pm – 9:30pm www.oaklandzoo.org/Zoovie_Nights.php

OCTOBER 21 - 22 Family Live Aboard USS Hornet Alameda 10:00am www.uss-hornet.org

OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Halloween Weekend Events OCTOBER 30

OCTOBER 5

OCTOBER 9

Animal Encounters Show Oakland Zoo Oakland Times Vary www.oaklandzoo.org

Walnut Creek First Wednesday’s Cypress Street Walnut Creek 5:00pm – 8:00pm www.walnutcreekdowntown.com

Harvest Festival & Pumpkin Picking Gardens at Heather Farm Walnut Creek 11:00am – 3:00pm www.gardenshf.org

OCTOBER 31

OCTOBER 7

OCTOBER 10

HALLOWEEN

Preschool Performance: Unique Derique Village Theatre and Art Gallery Danville 10:00am www.villagetheatreshows.com

Paws to Read Danville Library Danville 4:00pm – 5:00pm www.ccclib.org/locations/danville.html

Halloween Festivities Jack London Square Oakland 10:00am – 9:00pm www.cityofpleasantonca.gov

Contra Costa County OCTOBER 1 Super Hero Party Pleasant Hill Rec Center Pleasant Hill 11:00am – 12:30pm www.pleasanthillrec.com/home/specialevents.html

OCTOBER 1 - 2 Art, Jazz & Wine Festival Downtown Pleasant Hill Pleasant Hill 10:00am – 5:00pm www.pleasanthillchamber.com

12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

Oakland Zoomobile Lafayette Library and Learning Center Lafayette 12:00pm – 1:00pm www.ccclib.org

OCTOBER 11 Nature Explorers Heather Farms Walnut Creek 10:00am – 11:30am www.gardenshf.org/nature-explorers/

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Halloween Weekend Events OCTOBER 13 - 15

OCTOBER 19

OCTOBER 31

The Princess and the Pauper Fantasy Forum Walnut Creek Times Vary www.fantasyforum.org/now-playing/

STEM Pajama Storytime: Shadow Science Danville Library Danville 6:15pm – 7:15pm www.ccclib.org/locations/danville.html

HALLOWEEN

OCTOBER 15 All British Motor Show Blackhawk Museum Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.allbritishmotorshow.com Oktoberfest Downtown Walnut Creek Walnut Creek 11:00am – 5:00pm www.walnutcreekdowntown.com

OCTOBER 28 Model Railroad Society Weekend Show Walnut Creek Model Railroad Society Walnut Creek 8:00pm www.wcmrs.org

Out of Area OCTOBER 15 – 16 Goblin Jamboree Bay Area Discovery Museum Sausalito 10:00am – 4:00pm www.bayareadiscoverymuseum.org Art and Pumpkin Festival Main Street Half Moon Bay 9:00am – 5:00pm www.pumpkinfest.miramarevents.com

Public Art Walking Tour Lesher Center for the Arts Walnut Creek 11:00am – 12:00pm www.publicartwalnutcreek.org

OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13

[ PARENTING ]

Rachel Macy Stafford is a certified special education teacher with a Master’s Degree in education and ten years of experience working with parents and children. In December 2010, this life-long writer felt compelled to share her journey to let go of distraction and grasp what really matters by creating the blog “Hands Free Mama.” Using her skills as a writer, teacher, and encourager, Rachel provides readers with simple, non-intimidating, and motivating methods to let go of distraction and connect with their loved ones. Rachel’s work has been featured on CNN, Good Morning America, Global News, USA Today, TIME.com, MSN.com, The Huffington Post, and Reader’s Digest. Her blog currently averages one million visitors a month. Rachel’s new book, HANDS FREE MAMA, is a New York Times Bestseller.

The Index Card Every Kid Needs to Get

by Rachel Macy Stafford It was a chance for parents to get to know their child’s middle school teachers.

We would spend ten minutes in each classroom listening to the teacher share his or her educational background, classroom procedures, and expectations.

I wasn’t expecting to hear anything earth shattering that night, but I did. As soon as Mr. B began talking, I sensed I was in a very special place and there would be an important takeaway. My hope is that my takeaway becomes yours too.

As parents settled into their seats, Mr. B immediately noted the stack of index cards in the middle of the desks. He invited us to take one and write down our child’s passions. “Connecting with each student is very important to me,” the science teacher explained. “Tapping into what makes them excited … what makes them come to life … is my goal,” he explained.

But here is where I went from simply listening to actually feeling his words: “Nothing pains me more than walking down a school hallway and seeing a

14 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

[ PARENTING ] desolate look on a child’s face, like they are in prison.

I didn’t want to leave.

It pains me because that was me,” he said. “School felt like prison. I dreaded each and every day. Creating a

I wanted to hear more pressure-relieving words of

classroom where kids are excited, comfortable, and

wisdom from this kind and generous educator.

known can make all the difference.”

“Oh, and if you and your child see me in the community, And here is when two warm tears slid down my cheeks:

please walk up and say hi!” he said loudly over the

“Parents, I never want students in my class to stress if they

pushing in of chairs and departure commotion. “I

need an extra day to prepare for a test or complete

promise you won’t be bothering me. I never stop being a

an assignment. There is a fine line between pushing our

teacher. I am all in.”

kids and understanding they have lots of things going on. I don’t want them to stress about my class,” he said

He’s all in.

reassuringly. “Have them talk to me. We’ll work it out.”

I looked down at my index card. I’d filled up both sides, I felt a collective sigh of relief among those sitting

my handwriting getting smaller and smaller towards the

around me. We’d never heard such a thing—perhaps

end. I had so much to say.

in our whole lives. Just imagine how the students felt when they heard this beautiful offer of compassion and

He’d asked about my girl—my smart, funny,

understanding. I thought to myself getting teary again.

conscientious, bright, beautiful girl. But because she is quiet and shy in school settings, people often never know

Just then, the intercom sounded. The ten-minute session

who she really is.

was up; it was time to go to the next class.

But he asked. And more importantly, he wanted to know.

Dr. Ozzie Jafarnia

DDS, Board Certified

Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry

Dr. Noyan Aynechi DDS, Board Certified

Specialist in Pediatric Dentistry

Nothing is more beautiful than your child’s smile!

Welcome to Danville Pediatric Dentistry and Orthodontics! ! Our office is committed to providing excellent preventative care for children in a warm, positive, and compassionate environment.

We specialize in comprehensive dental care for children of all ages with an emphasis on prevention and health. As your child grows, we are able to provide comprehensive orthodontic care for children and teens. This is to help create and maintain a healthy smile into adulthood. We will do so by providing excellent treatment at the right time for the right reason with integrity, honesty and a caring heart.

Your child’s smile is our top priority.

We are committed to making it the happiest, healthiest and straightest smile possible. After all, nothing is more beautiful than your child's smile!

4145 Blackhawk Plaza Circle, Ste. 203, Danville

Dr. Reem Stephanos DDS, MS

925-837-7745 • drozzie.com

Specialist in Orthodontics

OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15

[ PARENTING ] He’s all in.

And my heart nearly burst with gratitude because of it.

I stood in line behind all the other parents who wanted to

Connection provides a secure foundation for human spirits to grow and flourish.

shake the hand of the man who was creating an optimal

Pressure – let us be flexible with our demands and

learning environment for their child to thrive. Many of

expectations. Sometimes we lose sight of the fact that

us hadn’t met anyone like him before. As expected,

a task or goal doesn’t have to be completed on our

the gentle teacher looked into each person’s eyes and appeared grateful for the opportunity to meet them.

timeline or in a specific way. The healing and hopeful

When I got home, my daughter asked which teacher did

words, “don’t stress,” are a gift we can give to alleviate

I think was her favorite.

pressure and focus on what truly matters.

“Mr. B,” I said without hesitation.

Availability – let us be one who is approachable – no

She smiled. “He is so kind and interesting, Mom. I am so

matter how tired we are, no matter how busy we are,

glad I got him for a teacher.”

no matter how bad of a day we just had. If our children

I sat down on the kitchen stool, anxious to tell her how he moved me to tears (minus the tears part because

approach us, let love never be ‘off the clock.’ Offer a loving hello and an “I’m so glad to see you.” We might

she would have been mortified by that detail.) “Mr. B

then become the one they seek out in times of despair

asked us to fill out an index card detailing what you’re

and challenge.

passionate about,” I told her. “He wants to get to know each one of his 150 students. Isn’t that remarkable?”

“Wow! What did you write?” she asked curiously.

Knowledge – let us never stop wanting to know what makes our loved ones excited, curious, passionate, and alive. Start a collection of index cards documenting

“I took a picture so you could see,” I said handing her my phone.

what you are learning about your beloveds. Share it with them. Let them see how wonderful you think they are.

“Mom! Did you really fill up both sides?” she exclaimed,

And if you don’t know their passions, make it your mission

sounding slightly embarrassed and slightly delighted.

to find out.

But her question didn’t require an answer. She was already reading my comments. A look of pure joy

Today holds the opportunity to notice desolate faces

and peace settled on her face. Yes, she was known

as they walk through the hallways of our lives. As Mr. B

… and she wanted to be known. But don’t we all? Yet,

reminds us, we hold a precious key—one that opens a

oftentimes, we’re not. But Mr. B gave me hope. Which

passageway to potential with plenty of room to breathe.

brings me to the takeaway I promised you: Your child may not have a teacher like Mr. B and possibly

I’m all in.

never will. But there is something to be learned from this man that we can all use and offer today: Connection – let us remember it is the key to

How about you?

understanding, acceptance, and assurance. It offers

Let’s fill the world with index cards, writing love on every

refuge from the pressures and critics of the world.

line of our beloveds’ hopeful hearts.

16 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

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2340 SAN RAMON VALLEY BLVD · SAN RAMON · CA · THEGROWINGROOM.ORG OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 17

[ EVENTS ]

October Alameda County OCTOBER 1 Airport Open House Livermore Airport Livermore 10:00am – 4:00pm www.lvwine.org Taste of Africa Firehouse Arts Center Pleasanton 10:00am – 6:00pm www.chezanami.org

OCTOBER 2 Dogtoberfest Robert Livermore Park Livermore 11:00am – 2:00pm www.facebook.com/ events/1585369908423543 Rhythmix ‘Round the World Festivial 2513 Blanding Ave Alameda 1:00pm – 4:00pm www.rhythmix.org/events/roundthe-world-festival.html Cal Sailing Club Open House Cal Sailing Club Berkeley 11:00am – 3:00pm www.cal-sailing.org Free First Sunday OMCA Oakland 10:00am – 6:00pm www.museumca.org Foods of the Americas: Family Day! UC Botanical Garden Berkeley 11:00am – 3:00pm www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

18 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

OCTOBER 2, 9, 16, 23 & 30 Rockridge Ice Cream Tour Rockridge Oakland 3:00pm www.rockridgefoodtour.com/ tours/ice-cream-tour/

OCTOBER 7 $5 First Fridays Chabot Space & Science Center Oakland 6:00pm – 11:00pm www.chabotspace.org/first-fridays. htm

OCTOBER 7, 14, 21 & 28 Friday Nights @ OMCA OMCA Oakland 5:00pm – 10:00pm www.museumca.org/friday-nightsomca

OCTOBER 8 Art Walk Livermore Downtown Livermore Livermore 11:00am – 5:00pm www.bothwell.lvpac.org Seussical by Bay Area Children’s Theatre Bay Area Children’s Theatre Berkeley Times Vary www.bactheatre.org/shows/Seussical

OCTOBER 8 – 9 Harvest Festival Ardenwood Historic Farm Fremont 10:00am – 5:00pm www.ebparks.org

OCTOBER 9 Antiques and Collectibles Faire Downtown Pleasanton Pleasanton 8:00am – 4:00pm www.pleasantonantiquefaire.com

Rockridge Out & About College Ave Oakland 12:00pm – 6:00pm www.rockridgeoutandabout.com

OCTOBER 12 Tilden Young Naturalists Tilden Nature Area Berkeley 3:30pm – 5:00pm www.ebparks.org

OCTOBER 12 – 15 Autumn Lights Festival Lake Merritt Oakland Times Vary www.gardensatlakemerritt. org/5th-anniversary-autumnlights-festival/

OCTOBER 15 Zookids, Dens Domiciles & Dwellings Oakland Zoo Oakland 9:30am – 12:00pm www.oaklandzoo.org

OCTOBER 16 22nd Annual Days of the Dead Community Celebration OMCA Oakland 12:00pm – 4:30pm www.museumca.org/2016/22ndannual-days-dead-communitycelebration

OCTOBER 21 Zoovie Night Oakland Zoo Oakland 6:30pm – 9:30pm www.oaklandzoo.org/Zoovie_ Nights.php

OCTOBER 21 - 22 Family Live Aboard USS Hornet Alameda 10:00am www.uss-hornet.org

[ EVENTS ]

October OCTOBER 30

OCTOBER 9

Animal Encounters Show Oakland Zoo Oakland Times Vary www.oaklandzoo.org

Harvest Festival & Pumpkin Picking Gardens at Heather Farm Walnut Creek 11:00am – 3:00pm www.gardenshf.org

OCTOBER 31 Halloween

OCTOBER 10

Halloween Festivities Jack London Square Oakland 10:00am – 9:00pm www.cityofpleasantonca.gov

Paws to Read Danville Library Danville 4:00pm – 5:00pm www.ccclib.org/locations/danville. html

Contra Costa County OCTOBER 1 Super Hero Party Pleasant Hill Rec Center Pleasant Hill 11:00am – 12:30pm www.pleasanthillrec.com/home/ specialevents.html

OCTOBER 1 - 2 Art, Jazz & Wine Festival Downtown Pleasant Hill Pleasant Hill 10:00am – 5:00pm www.pleasanthillchamber.com

OCTOBER 5 Walnut Creek First Wednesday’s Cypress Street Walnut Creek 5:00pm – 8:00pm www.walnutcreekdowntown.com

OCTOBER 7 Preschool Performance: Unique Derique Village Theatre and Art Gallery Danville 10:00am www.villagetheatreshows.com

Oakland Zoomobile Lafayette Library and Learning Center Lafayette 12:00pm – 1:00pm www.ccclib.org

OCTOBER 11 Nature Explorers Heather Farms Walnut Creek 10:00am – 11:30am www.gardenshf.org/nature-explorers/

OCTOBER 13 - 15 The Princess and the Pauper Fantasy Forum Walnut Creek Times Vary www.fantasyforum.org/nowplaying/

OCTOBER 15 All British Motor Show Blackhawk Museum Orinda 6:30pm – 8:30pm www.allbritishmotorshow.com Oktoberfest Downtown Walnut Creek Walnut Creek 11:00am – 5:00pm www.walnutcreekdowntown.com

Public Art Walking Tour Lesher Center for the Arts Walnut Creek 11:00am – 12:00pm www.publicartwalnutcreek.org

OCTOBER 19 STEM Pajama Storytime: Shadow Science Danville Library Danville 6:15pm – 7:15pm www.ccclib.org/locations/danville. html

OCTOBER 28 Model Railroad Society Weekend Show Walnut Creek Model Railroad Society Walnut Creek 8:00pm www.wcmrs.org

OCTOBER 31 Halloween

Out of Area OCTOBER 15 – 16 Goblin Jamboree Bay Area Discovery Museum Sausalito 10:00am – 4:00pm www.bayareadiscoverymuseum.org Art and Pumpkin Festival Main Street Half Moon Bay 9:00am – 5:00pm www.pumpkinfest.miramarevents.com

Email info@activefamilymag.com to subscribe to our weekly email blast for more events!

OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19

[ PARENTING ] Dr. Michele Borba is an internationally recognized expert and author on children, teens, parenting, bullying and moral development. She is an NBC contributor appearing over 100 times on the TODAY show and is the regular parenting expert on Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers. Her work has been featured on Dr. Phil, Dateline, The View, The Doctors, Fox News, The Early Show and CNN and well as in Newsweek, People, Good Housekeeping, Chicago Tribune, U.S. News & World Report, Washington Post, The New York Times and The Globe and Mail.

She was an MSNBC contributor to two televised “Education Nation” specials. Dr. Borba is the awardwinning author of 22 parenting and educational books translated into 14 languages. Titles include: Don’t Give Me That Attitude!, Parents Do Make A Difference, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, and Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me!, No More Misbehavin’, Building Moral Intelligence (cited

by Publishers’ Weekly as “Among the most noteworthy of 2001”), and Esteem Builders used by 1.5 million students worldwide. She writes as the parenting expert for Dr. Oz’s website, as well a daily column for her blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check: www.micheleborba.com Twitter: @micheleborba

7 Surprising Solutions That Boost Kids’ School Success

by Dr. Michele Borba Simple, proven solutions to enhance children’s learning that every parent should have in their back to school toolbox.

Academic success impacts our children for the rest of their life: it influences their self-esteem, college selections, job attainment, financial success, and even their choice of spouses. It’s no wonder we go to great lengths to give our kids an academic edge.

But despite our good intentions we often overlook a few simple strategies that research has proven to impact children’s academic success. Even better, these seven science-backed solutions are things that every parent can

20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

[ PARENTING ] do, don’t cost a dime, and they are proven to boost

it’s the best way for your kids to concentrate and get

children’s school success.

down to business.

1. Make Sure Your Kids Get Enough Zzz’s

Harvard researcher, Howard Gardner’s work shows there

A lack of sleep can have a serious impact on children’s

are different kinds of intelligences-or ways kids learn best-

abilities to learn and perform at school. In fact, in one

which include: musical, spatial, logical-mathematical,

recent study, Tel Aviv University researchers found that

linguistic, bodily, intrapersonal, interpersonal and

missing just one hour of sleep can be enough to reduce

naturalist.

a child’s cognitive abilities by almost two years the next day. For example, a sixth grader who loses precious zzz’s

The trick is to pay attention to how your kid learns best

the night before a big test could end up performing at a

so you can identify their unique learn style (not yours!)

fourth grade level.

and then tap into it help them be more successful. For instance, if your child learns best by remembering what

Set a bedtime and keep to it every single night. Flashing

she sees, point it out to her and encourage her to draw,

images affect REM, so be sure to turn off the computer

mind map or draw those images.

and television at least thirty minutes prior to bedtime.

Take away the cell phones during nighttime hours—62%

4. Pay Attention to Peers

of kids admit they use it after the lights go out and their

Pals play an enormous part of our kids’ self-esteem,

parents are clueless. Also, watch out for caffeinated

and research also reveals that who our kids befriend

sleep stealers like cold medications, chocolate, or

can affect their study habits and their overall academic

energy-drinks.

success.

2. Applaud Effort the Right Way

The truth of the matter is that peer pressure can have

Carol Dweck’s research at Columbia University found

both positive and negative consequences on a child’s

that how we praise our kids’ schoolwork can enhance

education. If your child chooses friends who believe that

or impede achievement. For example, instead of

education is important, chances are she will adopt those

encouraging your child to bring home straight A’s,

attitudes and put more emphasis into hitting the books

put the emphasis on how hard she is working. This will

harder and focusing more in class. On the flip side, if

encourage her to persist and it will help to sustain her

your child is best buddies with a kid who stays distracted

motivation.

during class, doesn’t turn in homework assignments, cheats or cuts corners, and rarely studies before a big

Kids who are praised for their persistence are more

test, chances are she will fall in line with the peer’s bad

likely to blame any failure they have on not trying hard

habits.

enough, rather than on a lack of ability (a belief which can discourage kids very easily).

TIP: A Ohio State University study found that kids are more likely to have friends with future college plans

Above all, keep in mind that the grade is not what

if they have a warm, positive relationship with their

motivates a top student to succeed-it’s their inner drive

parents.

for learning.

So cultivate that kind of parenting style and you’ll help 3. Respect Learning Styles

your child make the right friendship decisions! And

If your son insists on plugging into his iPod when he

encourage your child to seek out pals with like-minded

studies, or if your daughter swears that flash cards are

educational values.

the only way she can learn her spelling words- listen up!

While you may prefer a quiet room with no distractions

5. Make Family Meals a Must

when it comes to getting work done, that doesn’t mean

TIP: A study by Columbia University showed that kids OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21

[ PARENTING ] whose families eat regular, relaxed meal together are

Teach your kids that it’s okay for them to walk away from

not only less likely to abuse drugs and alcohol and

an argument until they are calm enough to return.

develop eating disorders-they are also more likely to achieve higher grades.

Tune into your child’s unique stress signs, so you’ll be able

Family dinners do not have to consist of gourmet, five-

to recognize when he’s on overload. Then help him learn

course meals. Serve simple, healthy meals, turn off the

to identify his own stressors (and triggers) so that you can

television and unplug the phone, and enjoy each other’s

intervene and help him to decompress before something

company.

comes to blows.

And if everyone in your family is on a different schedule and can’t make it to dinner- don’t worry! Consider

7. Tailor Expectations to Your Child’s Abilities

instating an evening family snack time where everyone

All parents want the very best for their kids. It’s only

can review their days with each other before bedtime.

natural!

The trick is to find what works best for you family and turn it into a routine.

Keep in mind it’s not the macaroni and cheese dish has

TIP: As a parent, you should consider your learning aspirations for your child like a rubber band: gently stretch but don’t snap.

nothing to do with giving your kid the academic edge.

It’s those informal: “How was your day?” “What are you

Every child is different, and while its okay to encourage

discussing in science?” “How do you plan to study for

her to try hard and achieve her best, it’s also important

that test?” kind of discussion topics that let your kid know your family prioritizes education.

to remember that ‘What’s best’ is different for every child. Just because your kid isn’t composing his own

6. Squelch the Stress…At Home

symphonies or writing his memoirs by age 10, doesn’t

Research shows that the conflict kids face at home spills

mean that he won’t still do great things with his life.

over into their school life and impedes their learning.

REALITY CHECK: Family-induced stress can affect kids’ learning and behavior for up to two days following an

Always remember this one commandment: ‘Tailor thy parenting only to thy child’. You and your children will be

incident.

happier and healthier for it, as well as succeed.

So take a vow of ‘yellibacy’ and make your home a

If you want to boost your kid’s academic performance

stress-free zone this school year. Teach your child healthy ways to reduce stress and find ways to de-stress with your kids.

and see lasting results, it will take a few things from you: consistency, dedication, and patience. Those things are always better parenting tools than anything money can

Take longs walks, read together.

buy.

Do yoga.

Do remember that no two kids are the same, even if they

Have a family movie night.

come from the same household. If you pay attention to the individual needs of each child and do what’s

Be a model on how to disagree without it ending in a

right for them and for you, you’ll see the payoff in their

screaming match.

attitudes and their report cards in no time.

22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

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[ PARENTING ]

I am The Keeper of The Fruit Loops, Driver of The People Mover and Manager of The Fecal Roster.

In other words, I’m a mom. An Erma Bombeck Martha Stewart with a Roseanne Barr twist, I have the organized cabinets and mouth to prove it. I live in Pennsylvania with my ever budget conscious husband, two blog inspiring Fruit Loops and my extensive collection of thrift shop finds. When I’m not writing, I can be found running marathons, governing the PTA like nobody’s business and pinning things on Pinterest like it’s my job.

You can find me on Facebook, Twitter and in the smash hit books “I Just Want To Be Alone” and “Scary Mommy’s Guide To Surviving The Holidays”. For more information about Christine Burke, check out her website Keeper of the Fruit Loops: www. keeperofthefruitloops.com.

The Seven Moms In A Group Text by by Christine Burke (aka, Keeper of the Fruit Loops) If you have kids in the modern age of parenting, chances are, you’ve participated in at least one group text. Whether it’s coordinating a play date, a Ladies’ Night Out or organizing a complicated carpool routine, texting takes on a whole new level of hell when you have multiple people expressing opinions. And, often, the group text can make you feel like a prisoner in your own phone. I’ve been in a group text with six of my neighbors for over a year and there are times when I come back to my phone only to find ninety two new texts. It can take almost twenty minutes to catch up on all of the conversation twists.

Group texts are exhausting.

24 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

[ PARENTING ] and clear. What works for her is to be helpful to you.

And, what’s worse, is now most messaging systems will indicate you’ve left the conversation, thereby alerting

The Misinformed Mom: In every group text, there’s always

the other texters that you, in fact, don’t have time for

one mom who is completely and utterly confused by

their batshittery. Group texts on your phone are what “Reply All” is to email: a special kind of hell designed to make us crazy. Technology is great, mostly, but the group text is enough to drive a busy mom crazy.

If you’ve hung around group texts long enough, you will start to see certain patterns, certain nuances of the participants. Never is that more true than in a group text run by moms arranging a carpool situation.

Believe me, I know.

Because one point or another, I’ve played all these roles.

Let’s examine them, shall we?

The Initiator She’s the mom we all love because she’s the one who dutifully remembers that on Wednesdays at 4p, the kids all have to be at soocer practice. Every week, without fail, she sends a chirpy, friendly text that reminds all participants that the texting must now begin.

The text usually includes trite phrases like “Hi, Ladies!!” and punctuation is always over used. You can set your calendar to how perfectly timed The Initiator’s text arrives in your message box.

The “Whatever Works” Mom: This mom is always the one who’s flexibility is appreciated. She can drive to soccer, she can drive home from soccer. She can drive halfway there, drop three kids off, go get other three, stop halfway and pick up the original three and make it to practice if need be. She’s happy to feed kids dinner beforehand or take them out for ice cream. Whatever works!

The Overachiever: We secretly love this mom the best because she’s willing to do all the work, all the time.

her calendar. She responds with things like, “Wait. That’s

She’s always ready to pitch in and do all the driving,

THIS week?” or “OMG. I don’t have that on my calendar.

even if it means driving two hours one way. She makes

When did we get the flyer about that?”. The other texters

you feel a tiny bit guilty but you brush it off because you

are then obligated to work out her scheduling snafus

know it means you can have a glass of wine the minute

with sixty four texts at the end of which, she’s still slightly

she leaves your driveway. The Overachiever Mom and

confused. We usually have mercy on this mom because

The “Whatever Works” Mom are often confused for one

we feel secretly smug that our calendar isn’t nearly as

another but the difference is The Overachiever is decisive

messy as hers.

OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25

[ PARENTING ] The Emoji Sender Mom: This mom communicates

but hate having to ACTUALLY participate in it. The weeks

solely by emoji. No words. And sometimes, you don’t

where you somehow manage to get your kid picked up

understand her emoji-speak. Did you agree on a 4p

and dropped off without having to participate makes

pick up time? She’ll send a thumbs up emoji. Did you all settle on bringing wine to the soccer game in to go cups? She texts two wine glasses and a cry laugh emoji face. Come to think of it, you haven’t had a conversation with her that hasn’t included the poop emoji in a while…

you feel like you are winning at life. And, when The Initiator’s text comes in promptly at 4p, The Procrastinator Mom silently monitors the texts, watching for just how much work she may or may not have to do. She stealthily watches as a plan formulates and, just when it seems the deal has been sealed with minimal involvement, she

The Complicator Mom: We hate this mom because

swoops in with a “OMG, I *just* saw these texts now!” and

she complicates EVERYTHING, usually right after all

manages to get out of carpool duty. Again. Ahem.

the minute details have been settled. Ninety seven texts later, six moms have agreed on a pick up and drop off schedule that rivals Air Force One’s arrival into Washington, D.C and she texts, “OMG. I just realized I’m watching my friend’s kids and I need room for two more kids. I have to go on my own, sorry!”. She’s usually the reason moms throw their phones across the room.

So, did I get it right? I will freely admit that I resist the urge to be the Procrastinator Mom and am more than guilty at being the Complicator Mom on more than one occasion. But, I do my best to keep up my end of the deal because on those nights, when I’m waving to my friend as she pulls out of my driveway on the way to an

The Procrastinator Mom: Admit it: you love carpooling

activity with my kid, my glass of wine tastes heavenly.

A

LN

UT CRE

E K

W

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[ WOMEN’S HEALTH ]

Christine Carter, Ph.D.*, is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of “RAISING HAPPINESS: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.” She teaches online happiness classes that help parents bring more joy into their own lives and the lives of their children, and she writes an award-winning blog for *Greater Good* (www.greatergoodparents.org).

Please Stop Interrupting Me!

by Dr. Christine Carter Several years ago, I devised a system for quickly getting into the “zone” while I wrote. Free from distractions and interruptions, I wrote quickly, joyfully, and with surprisingly little effort.

But then we moved, and now my husband and I both work mostly from home. And although we work in separate rooms, at opposite ends of the house, he is forever interrupting me, jarring me out of that coveted state of flow. He’ll saunter into my office to use my recycling bin, and even if my attention is clearly fixed on my work, he’ll put his face right in front of my computer screen and lean in for a smooch.

I recognize how sweet this is. And I am super grateful to have such a loving and affectionate husband. And I appreciate being able to work from home, because it allows me more time with both my husband and my children (who also interrupt me constantly once they are home from school).

But by 4:00 pm, each interruption causes me so much irritation that it sometimes borders on rage. Even when the person interrupting me is a considerate and whispering middle-schooler needing homework help, or a loving husband who wants to shower me with affection, I feel frustrated and snappish.

28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

[ WOMEN’S HEALTH ]

Am I overreacting? Perhaps I could try harder to keep my

According to Gloria Mark, who studies interruption at UC

irritation in check, but research gives me some grounds

Irvine, when we are diverted from one task to another,

for it. In fact, studies have found that getting interrupted

we can pick up our work pace to make up for lost time,

isn’t just a nuisance; it’s costly and problematic. Here are

but this increased speed comes at a cost: People who’ve

three sometimes hidden costs to interruptions.

been interrupted report having a greater workload, more stress and frustration, feeling more time pressure,

For starters, they cost us a lot of time. On average,

and exerting more effort.

interruptions take 23 minutes and 15 seconds to recover from–even if the distraction is only a minute!

And guess what? This makes a lot of people feel annoyed, anxious, and irritable, as I do. Behavioral

For example, say I’m uber-focused, but then my hubby

scientist Alan Keen believes the stress and overload that

(or perhaps your co-worker) comes in for a minute or

comes from constantly being expected to multitask is

two to chit-chat about dinner plans (or for an upcoming

causing an “epidemic of rage.” Interruption and task

meeting). Before I turn my attention back to my work,

switching raises stress hormones and adrenaline, which

I might decide to take a quick peek at my email, and

tends to make us more aggressive and impulsive.

while I’m doing that, notice that I’ve missed a call and three texts. If I answer just a few of these incoming

The takeaway: Interruption drains our energy and

communications, it may well be longer than 23 minutes

dampens our performance. The stress, inefficiency,

before I get back to work.

inaccuracy, and time pressure that interruptions create are the very opposite of being in the sweet spot.

I suppose, if I tried really hard, I could get back on track faster. But that effort takes focus and energy that I could be putting toward my writing or other work.

Take time today to build yourself a fortress against interruptions. You’ll be more productive — and a heck of a lot happier!

Second, interruptions lower the quality of our work. A mountain of research has demonstrated time and again that interruptions increase our error rate. For example, when college students that are concentrating on a task are interrupted for 2.8 seconds, they make twice as many errors as those who are not interrupted. When they are interrupted for 4.4 seconds, their error ratetriples.

According Glenn Wilson at the University of London, just being in a work situation where you can be interrupted

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Interruptions measurably lower both the quantity and the

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quality of writing we can do in even a very short period of time (20 minutes).

Finally, interruptions contribute to stress and overwhelm,

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making us feel conflicted and time-pressured. As we shift our focus between tasks–as when we steal a glance at our email while we are working on a presentation–it increases our perception that we have too much to do in the time that we have to do it.

OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29

[ SEASONAL PARENTINGFUN ] ]

Pumpkin Patch Guide ALAMEDA

CLAYTON

HERCULES

Speer Family Farms Alameda Point 2153 Ferry Point 510.705.2352 www.speerfamilyfarms.com -Petting Zoo -Inflatable Fun

Clayton Valley Pumpkin Patch 1060 Pine Lane 925.672.5198 www.cvpumpkinfarm.com -Petting Zoo -Train Ride -Barnyard

Pick of the Patch Pumpkins 400 San Pablo Ave 408.393.6303 www.abctreefarms.net -Petting Zoo -Haunted House

ANTIOCH

CONCORD

Pick of the Patch Pumpkins Delta Fair Blvd @ Century Blvd 408.393.6303 www.abctreefarms.net -Petting Zoo -Haunted House -Train Ride

Pick of the Patch Pumpkins 1096 Oak Grove Rd at Monument Blvd 408.393.6303 www.abctreefarms.net -Petting Zoo -Haunted House

G&M Farms 487 East Airway 925.447.FARM www.gmfarms.com -Corn Maze -Train

BRENTWOOD

J. E Perry’s Farms 34600 Ardenwood Blvd 510.793.6658 www.perryfarmsorganic.com

Smith Family Farm 4430 Sellers Ave 925.625.5966 www.smithfamilyfarm.com -Corn Maze -Petting Zoo -Hay Ride

CASTRO VALLEY Moore’s Pumpkin Patch 9711 Dublin Canyon Rd 510.886.6015 www.moorespumpkinpatch.com -Train Ride -Fun House

FREMONT

Pick of the Patch Pumpkins 4020 Fremont Hub 408.393.6303 www.abctreefarms.net -Inflatable Fun

HAYWARD Pick of the Patch Pumpkins One Southland Mall Dr. 408.393.6303 www.abctreefarms.net -Petting Zoo -Haunted House

30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

LIVERMORE

Joan’s Farm and Pumpkin Patch 4351 Mines Rd 925.447.0794 www.joansfarm.com -Farm Animals -Hay Ride -Corn Maze

MARTINEZ Pick of the Patch Pumpkins 5041 Blum Road 408.393.6303 www.abctreefarms.net -Ponyland Pony Rides -Parachute Rocket Rides -Petting Zoo -Haunted House

[ SEASONAL FUN ]

Pumpkin Patch Guide NEWARK Pick of the Patch Pumpkins 2086 NewPark Mall 408.393.6303 www.abctreefarms.net -Petting Zoo -Haunted House

OAKLAND Piedmont Ave Pumpkin Patch 4414 Piedmont Ave 510.967.9363 www.pumpkinpatch.info -Corn Stalks -Straw Bales

SAN LEANDRO Pick of the Patch Pumpkins 1555 East 14th St at the Bay Fair Center Mall 408.393.6303 www.abctreefarms.net -Petting Zoo -Haunted House

SAN RAMON Forest Home Farms 19953 San Ramon Valley Blvd 925.973.3284 www.sanramon.ca.gov -Hay Ride -Train Ride Moore’s Pumpkin Patch 19901 San Ramon Valley Blvd 510.886.6015 www.moorespumpkinpatch.com -Train Ride -Fun House

PETALUMA

WORTH THE DIVE

Great Peter Pumpkin Patch 4235 Spring Hill Rd 707.762.3446 www.springhillcheese.com/pumpkinpatch -Hay Ride

HALF MOON BAY Arata Pumpkin Farm 185 Verde Rd 650.726.7548 www.aratapumpkinfarm.com -Hay Maze -Petting Zoo -Train Ride

Peterson’s Farm 636 Gossage Ave 707.765.4582 www.petersonsfarm.com

Lemos Farm 12320 San Mateo Rd 620.726.2342 www.lemosfarm.com -Train Ride -Haunted House -Petting Zoo

Petaluma Pumpkin Patch and Amazing Corn Maze 450 Stony Point Rd 707.781.3132 www.petalumapumpkinpatch.com -Corn Maze

LATHROP Dell’Osso Family Farm 26 Stewart Rd 209.982. 0833 www.pumpkinmaze.com -Corn Maze -Haunted House -Petting Zoo

SAN FRANCISCO Clancy’s Pumpkin Patch 1620 7th Ave 415.753.2689 www.clancystrees.com -Hay Maze

MARIN Nicasio Valley Farms Pumpkin Patch 5300 Nicasio Valley Rd 415. 662.9100 www.nicasiocheese.com -Hay Ride -Petting Zoo

Emerald Forest Great Pumpkin Patch 317 Sloat Blvd 415.566.8984

OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31

[ CHILDREN’S HEALTH ]

The Growing Room Academy’s collaborative partnership with Village Music School allows our students and San Ramon Valley families to participate in an exciting array of expanded music education classes. This alliance allows Village Music School to extend their successful studio music program from the Diablo Valley to the San Ramon Valley.

Village Music School classes are held within the walls of Growing Room Academy and will be housed in two rooms solely dedicated as music studios. Classes are offered weekday afternoons and evenings, plus Saturdays.

The Hungry Mind:

The Role of Curiosity in Education

by The Growing Room What did Sir Isaac Newton, Albert Einstein, Marie Curie, Benjamin Franklin, and Steve Jobs have in common?

Curiosity.

It was curiosity that propelled some of history’s greatest minds to pioneer humanity’s greatest discoveries. Philosopher Thomas Hobbes called it “the lust of the mind.” Yet, over the centuries we have been warned by both fable and parable of the dangers of succumbing to curiosity; Pandora and her box, Eve and the apple, and that poor cat all served as words to the wise. Luckily, we no longer cling to this antiquated view of curiosity; however, neither do we adequately extol its virtues, particularly in education. While educators support the concept of curiosity, not enough has been done to promote it as

32 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

[ CHILDREN’S HEALTH ] a centerpiece in education. Long time education critic,

recruits the brain’s reward system! Interaction between

Albert Einstein, said, “It is nothing short of a miracle that

the hippocampus and the reward system put the brain in

modern methods of instruction have not yet entirely

a state wherein the subject is likely to retain information,

strangled the holy curiosity of inquiry”. Today, critics of

even if the information is of low interest. Curiosity actually

standardized testing (and curriculum geared toward

changes brain chemistry. Once the subjects’ curiosity

that end) may level those same criticisms at 21st-century

had been piqued by the right question, they were better

education. Many proponents who view curiosity as the

at learning and remembering unrelated information. So,

foundational block of learning believe that curiosity is not valued in the classroom. In fact, with the focus on outcome and test scores, many believe that the classroom is where curiosity comes to die. It is one thing to give a head nod to curiosity and quite another to allow it to flourish and thrive in the classroom.

Does Curiosity Matter?

There is no question that curiosity makes learning more effective and fun. Curious students not only are the ones

while curiosity may have killed the cat, it most certainly is not fatal to students.

How to Foster Curiosity in Children So how do we, as parents, cultivate curiosity in our children?

Allow Space That Stops Focusing on the “Answer”

asking the questions, they are the ones actively seeking

An environment that allows and makes adequate space

out the answers. This cause and effect model cannot

for questions and answers will inspire curiosity in children.

be ignored; an educational approach where curiosity

Hurried, rote answers from parents and focus on the

is honored and encouraged most certainly advances

“correct” answer from children will do little to encourage

learning. Good teachers long to instill a desire to learn

curiosity or foster an environment for active exploration

in their students. New research posits that curiosity is as

or observation. Do not focus on the correct answer, but

important as intelligence in determining how students

rather on a Socratic approach to conversations that

perform and thrive in school.

engage your child’s creativity and curiosity.

How Curiosity Stimulates the Brain

Normalize Failure

For anyone who has been swept away by a topic or research, it is little surprise that studies suggest that people in a state of curiosity are more intrinsically motivated to learn. This state also enhances longterm memory. In a recent study, researchers from the University of California at Davis asked volunteers to rate how curious they were about particular trivia questions. Their brains were then imaged using functional magnetic resonance imaging while they answered questions. Researchers found that being in a state of curiosity increased activity in the hippocampus, a brain region that is important for forming new memories; it

Those who have learned to regard failure as a step in the learning process are more likely to be lifelong learners.

They are also more likely to be inspired by intrinsic motivation. Removing the stigma of failure by shifting the focus to process rather than result will enable children to see failure as a byproduct of learning and not a feared final destination.

Fostering an inherent love of learning is the goal of educators and parents alike. As your child’s most

also increased activity in the brain’s reward system,

important teacher remember to cue to your child’s

which triggers feelings of excitement and pleasure.

interests. Curiosity focusing on passions, values, and

When the volunteers were asked to recall the answers

interests (with less emphasis on result) will also strengthen

to the questions a day after the imaging, they were

less valued subjects in terms of learning and recall.

able to correctly recall 71 percent of the answers to

Encouraging curiosity itself is a great start. Albert Einstein

high-curiosity questions compared to 54 percent of

wrote, “The important thing is not to stop questioning.

low-curiosity questions. It appears that curiosity actually

Curiosity has its own reason for existing”.

OCTOBER 2016 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 33

[ CHILDREN’S HEALTH ]

Ask a UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Expert

by Petra Steinbuchel, MD, Director of Child & Adolescent Psychiatry Q: Do children and teens suffer from depression?

A: Sadness, grief, anxiety, and anger are all part of our normal range of human emotions. It is only when sadness becomes so pervasive that it interferes with our regular daily functioning that we consider it depression.

Depression can and does occur in childhood (up to 5 percent before puberty), with rates increasing during adolescence (5 to 20 percent by age 18). Left untreated, depression can derail a young person from achieving important and time-sensitive academic, social, and emotional milestones, and it may leave a youth vulnerable to substance abuse. The longer depression remains untreated, the more likely a young person is to have chronic or recurrent depression throughout adulthood

Q: What are the consequences of depression in children and teenagers?

A: The most concerning aspect of depression is when hopelessness or helplessness leads to suicidal thinking and/or behavior. Suicidality ranges on a continuum from vague, infrequent feelings that life is not worth living to much more serious and sustained plans of actually committing suicide, with the intention to carry out these plans. Some youth also engage in self-injurious behavior, most commonly cutting. While cutting can be an additional risk factor for suicide, cutting is often different than an actual suicide attempt. Instead, it can be a physical way of either releasing emotional pain or inflicting physical pain to distract from intense emotions such as sadness or anger.

Q: How do you recognize when your child or teen is suffering from depression?

A: Depression is defined as two or more weeks of constantly sad or irritable mood, loss of interest and inability to experience pleasure in things that used to be fun, feelings of guilt or worthlessness, and hopelessness or helplessness. It’s characterized by low energy, physical restlessness or slowing, and changes in sleep and appetite can occur as well. Anxiety can often accompany depression, as can poor concentration, together with decline in academic performance.

Q: What can parents do to help their children?

A: If you are concerned about your child’s mood, try to ask in a warm, casual, and open way about how they are doing. Hopefully this is in the context of a mutually respectful and trusting relationship you already have with your child. If you think your child may be depressed, consult your pediatrician to have an initial assessment done and to screen for certain medical conditions that may mimic depression, including anemia, thyroid disease, vitamin deficiencies, infections, or other disorders. Mild to moderate depression often improves with education to teens and their families about feelings and what they can do to feel better.

Q: What are the reasons behind depression in young people?

A: Teenagers become more susceptible to depression during adolescence due to hormonal changes, significant brain development, changing sleep patterns, greater likelihood of substance use—in particular, alcohol and marijuana, increased social and academic pressures, and seeking to understand and form their own identity.

The incidence of depression is equal in boys and girls before puberty, but it doubles in girls after puberty. The reasons for this change are not clear, but hormonal changes and/or broader social acceptance of girls’ expressing their feelings (and thus perhaps underdiagnosis in boys) may be contributing factors.

34 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016

Q: When is therapy or medication appropriate?

A: Psychotherapy can be helpful for working through stressful life events, relationships, or past trauma; teaching coping techniques; and understanding the links among thoughts, mood, and behavior. If depression is moderate to severe, sometimes medication can be prescribed. Antidepressant medications are not addictive, nor do they change a person’s personality or make someone “happy all the time.” However, they can be a helpful adjunct to psychotherapy and other lifestyle changes, including diet, exercise, and strengthened family, social, and/or spiritual support. A trusted medical provider can provide guidance regarding the benefits and risks of starting an antidepressant and deciding together when to appropriately discontinue.

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36 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | OCTOBER 2016