Active Family Magazine - November 2014

NOVEMBER 2014

DONATION GUIDE Spread the Holiday Cheer This Year!

How to Know If Your Daughter Is a Victim of the Mean Girl Scene

ARE YOUR KIDS GRATEFUL? GRATITUDE VS. MATERIALISM: Holiday Happiness is Simpler Than You Might Think!

2401 Shadelands Dr., Walnut Creek, CA 94598 • bitly.com/cho-wc

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Diagnostic Imaging Hearing & Speech Center Motion Analysis & Sports Performance Lab Orthopaedics Outpatient Surgery Sleep Lab Specialty Care Clinics Sports Medicine Center for Young Athletes

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Volume 1 / Issue 10

Small Helping Hands Can Have a Big Impact

[ FAMILY ]

[ HEALTH ]

Are Your Kids Grateful?

Ask a UCSF Benioff Oakland Children’s Hospital Oakland/Walnut Creek Expert:

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22

Holiday Toy Guide

8 Six Words You Should Say Today

12 Gratitude vs. Materialism: Holiday Happiness is Simpler Than You Might Think!

7 Ways to Outsmart Overeating & Holiday Weight Gain

32

38 Holiday Donation Guide

46

28

Surviving The Holidays With Food Sensitivities

How to Know If Your Daughter Is a Victim of the Mean Girl Scene

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30

Will You Have the Friends You Need When You Need Them the Most?

[ FASHION ] Falling into Fashion

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10

[ EVENTS ]

[ SEASONAL ]

24

Ten Steps to Unconditional Love

34 How to Get the MOST Out of Your Kids Lunchbox

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ]

November Calendar

Savvy Thanksgiving Entertaining

15

40

Ski Resort Guide

16

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DISCOVERY Inßpi®ed by St®atfo®d

[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

There’s no more profound gift parents can give their children than the chance to discover what they are capable of — the chance to achieve all they can.

What Matters…

Nurturing, Safe Environment Engaging Curriculum Music and Art for all students Enriching Social Development Spanish and Science beginning in preschool taught by specialty teachers

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Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area Publisher/Editor

Design/Production

Contributing Authors

Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Teresa Agnew Craft

Marketing Manager

Ad Design/Production

Crystal Wigton

Lara Mays

Dr. Meg Meeker Diane Gage Lofgren Margaret Bhola Dr. Christine Carter Dr. Michele Borba Dr. Laura Markham Dr. Vivien Nguyen Christi Johnston Julie Upton, MS, RD Rachel Stafford Kim Rice Shanna Hatfield Primrose of Pleasanton UCSF Benioff Children’s Hospital Oakland

Sr. Advertising Sales Manager Maxine Fisher

Advertising Sales Manager April Gentry

Advertising Sales Manager Cammie Cavros

Wardrobe Stylist Jeneffer Jones Punjani

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709 Email Address | info@activekidsbayarea.com

Editor’s Note The Holidays! Like it or not they are here! Capturing the true meaning of the season, please be sure to read Dr. Meg Meeker’s ‘Are your Kids Grateful’ on page 8 and ‘Gratitude vs. Materialism: Holiday Happiness is Simpler Than You Might Think!’ by Dr. Christine Carter on page 28.

As a Mother of four young daughters, the mean girl epidemic absolutely terrifies me.

I not only worry about my children becoming the target of mean girls, but also worry about them being a mean girl. Although many will argue that this is a “coming-of-age” stage, I have zero tolerance and am mortified when I hear of one of my daughters participating in this behavior. Ohhhh the joy of raising girls! I have a feeling it will be a long ride! Fortunately Dr. Michelle Borba tackles this issue head-on and breaks down the meaning of relational aggression on page 30.

ON THE COVER: Back: Boy in Peek striped shirt, $48. Peek chambray button-down, $39.50. Model’s own jeans. Girl on left, Tea sweater, $49, Tea t-shirt $24.50, Tea pants $39.

On right, Tucker + Tate overall dress, $34, Tucker +Tate t-shirt $16, Tucker + Tate hooded cardigan $46. All from Nordstrom.

Our annual Charity Guide can be found on page 46 and offers several local nonprofit organizations the entire family can get involved with. If the winter weather ever arrives, we hope you will find the Ski Resort Guide on page 16 helpful! As always, our calendar of events features not-to-be-missed daily outings and seasonal fun for the entire family!

Enjoy this busy time of year and don’t forget to be thankful for all your blessings!

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activekidsbayarea.com

6 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | NOVEMBER 2014

[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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Palo Alto Medical Foundation Sutter East Bay Medical Foundation NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 7

[ FAMILY ]

Dr. Meeker is a pediatrician, who has practiced pediatric and adolescent medicine for 25 years. She is the author of six books including the best-selling Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: Ten Secrets Every Father Should Know; Boys Should Be Boys; Your Kids At Risk;, The 10 Habits of Happy Mothers: Reclaiming Our Passion, Purpose and Sanity; Strong Fathers, Strong Daughters: The 30 Day Challenge and Strong Mothers, Strong Sons: Lessons Mothers Need to Raise Extraordinary Men, (Ballantine) April 2014. She is a popular speaker on pediatric health issues and child-parent relationships.

Dr. Meeker is co-host and physicianin-residence of Dr. James Dobson’s Family Talk Radio. She is also Assistant Clinical Professor at Michigan State University College of Human Medicine and currently teaches medical students and physicians in residency training.

She is board certified with the American Board of Pediatrics and is a fellow of the American Academy of Pediatrics. Dr. Meeker serves on the National Advisory Board of the Medical Institute. She has been married to her husband, Walter for 32 years. They have shared a medical practice for over 20 years.

They have three grown daughters and a grown son. She lives in northern Michigan.

Are Your Kids Grateful?

by Dr. Meg Meeker “My kids just don’t appreciate a thing I do for them,” a mother in my office lamented a few weeks ago. Every mother knows her frustration. We work tirelessly for our children—especially at the holidays—and when they are over, we feel, well, empty.

Was all of our work worth it, we wonder? Many times we assuage our sadness with the rationalization that our kids are just kids. We tell ourselves that no child appreciates his mother or father because he is self centered and psychologically immature. Both of these are true, but I think that we miss something very important when we give our kids an easy pass. The truth is, most of our kids have more stuff than they need—luxuries that we work hard to give them. Many of our kids feel that our job is to provide, and their job is to enjoy.

The truth is kids are egocentric and cognitively they do have difficulty identifying with the amount of work we do for them. They can only partly empathize because doing so takes a hefty dose of abstract thinking, and many kids don’t have much until they are well into their teens. But that is only half of an excuse. Still, we owe it to our kids to teach them to try to empathize and consider the feelings of others, especially ours. Believe it or not, we can be successful at this.

The best time to start teaching kids to think beyond their own feelings is right from the start. We tell two-year-olds not to bite because it hurts. We tell

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[ FAMILY ] kindergartners that when they are mad they can’t hit because hurting another is socially unacceptable. So even if a child can’t put himself in another’s shoes, we still teach him common courtesy.

Foundations Tutoring Building a Brighter Future

As they mature, we teach them not to bully friends and to say thank you when they receive a birthday gift. When Grandma makes them a scarf at Christmas, even though they may think it is hideous, we coach them how to spare Grandma’s feelings. After all, the point of the gift isn’t what the gift is; rather the meaning stems from the fact that the giver wanted to extend love and kindness.

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Why then, do we allow our kids to treat us parents so differently? Do we not deserve a thank you for getting up early to stuff the bird and put it in the oven so everyone can eat at 1 p.m.? Are the efforts we put forth to prepare a nice holiday to be discarded and ignored? Nope.

Good parents show kids what hard work is and then invite them to participate in the work in order to accomplish a few things.

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First, having our kids cook with us, save money to buy gifts for the family, or clean the house for guests gives kids a glimpse into the amount of work that we do for them. We must teach them to work for others because we do.

Second, participating in the work of the holidays encourages kids to serve. Getting their minds off of what they want and putting forth effort to make life nicer for someone else at the holidays helps kids be less selfcentered and more other-centered.

I have a few suggestions for parents who want to raise kids who are a bit more appreciative: 1. Don’t be so quick to give them a pass for overlooking your efforts. Doing this only fosters more selfcenteredness.

2. Regardless of their age, insist on a “thank you” when you work hard. You would insist they do so for another family member, so teach them to be kind to you as well.

3. Find opportunities where the kids can work alongside you to help others. Nothing builds kindness in kids as well as serving others. So get them some work to do and I promise, their appreciation of your efforts will skyrocket.

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www.eastbayridingacademy.com NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9

[ FASHION ]

FALLING INTO

FASHION 10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | NOVEMBER 2014

[ FASHION ]

LEFT PAGE: Marie-Chantal plaid poplin dress, $159, at Neiman Marcus. | TOP: Boy in Peek striped shirt, $48. Peek chambray button-down, $39.50.

Model’s own jeans. Girl in middle, Tucker + Tate overall dress, $34, Tucker + Tate t-shirt $16, Tucker + Tate hooded cardigan $46. On right, Tea sweater, $49, Tea t-shirt $24.50, Tea pants $39. All from Nordstrom.

LEFT: Stella McCartney poncho $300, at Nordstrom.com, Gap skinny cord $29.95 MIDDLE: Burberry dress, $265, Burberry cardigan, $250, at Neiman Marcus.

RIGHT: Peek t-shirt, $34, Peek flannel hoodie, at Nordstrom.

Photographer: Christopher Kern | Wardrobe Stylist: Jeneffer Jones Punjani | Hair & Makeup Artist: Nicole Perez/Artists’ Services Models: JE Model Management | Shot on Location at Smith Family Farms, Brentwood.

NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11

[ FAMILY ]

Six Words You Should Say Today

by Rachel Stafford If you have ever experienced an emotional response simply by watching someone you love in action, I’ve got six words for you.

Very rarely does one sentence have immediate impact on me.

Very rarely does one sentence change the way I interact with my family.

But this one did. It was not from Henry Thoreau or some renowned child psychologist. It was a comment from kids themselves. And if I’ve learned anything on this “Hands Free” journey, it is that children are the true experts when it comes to “grasping what really matters.”

Here are the words that changed it all: “… College athletes were asked what their parents said that made them feel great, that amplified their joy during and after a ballgame. Their overwhelming response: ‘I love to watch you play.’”

Rachel Macy Stafford is a certified special education teacher with a Master’s Degree in education and ten years of experience working with parents and children. In December 2010, this life-long writer felt compelled to share her journey to let go of distraction and grasp what really matters by creating the blog “Hands Free Mama.” Using her skills as a writer, teacher, and encourager, Rachel provides readers with simple, non-intimidating, and motivating methods to let go of distraction and connect with their loved ones. Rachel’s work has been featured on CNN, Good Morning America, Global News, USA Today, TIME.com, MSN.com, The Huffington Post, and Reader’s Digest. Her blog currently averages one million visitors a month. Rachel’s new book, HANDS FREE MAMA, is a New York Times Bestseller.

The life-changing sentence came at the beginning of an article entitled, “What Makes a Nightmare Sports Parent and What Makes a Great One” which described powerful insights gathered over three decades by Bruce E. Brown and Rob Miller of Proactive Coaching LLC. Although I finished reading the entire piece, my eyes went back and searched for that one particular sentence; the one that said, “I love to watch you play.”

I read it exactly five times. And then I attempted to remember all past verbal interactions I had with my kids at the conclusion of their extracurricular activities.

Upon completion of a swim meet, a music recital, a school musical, or even a Sunday afternoon soccer game, had I ever said, “I like to watch you play”?

I could think of many occasions when I encouraged, guided, complimented, and provided suggestions for improvement. Did that make me a nightmare sports parent? No, but maybe sometimes I said more than was needed.

By nature, I am a wordy person—wordy on phone messages (often getting cut off by that intrusive beep) and wordy in writing (Twitter is not my friend).

And although I have never really thought about, I’m pretty sure I’m wordy in my praise, too. I try not to criticize, but when I go into extensive detail about my child’s performance it could be misinterpreted as not being “good enough.”

Could I really just say “I love to watch you play” and leave it at that? And if I did, would my children stand there cluelessly at the next sporting event or musical performance because I had failed to provide all the “extra details” the time before?

Well, I would soon find out. As luck would have it, my 8 year old had a swim meet the day after I read the article.

Her first event was the 25 yard freestyle. At the sound of the buzzer, my daughter exploded off the blocks and effortlessly streamlined beneath the water for an unimaginable amount of time.

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[ FAMILY ] Her sturdy arms, acting as propellers, emerged from the water driving her body forward at lightning speed.

She hadn’t even made it halfway down the lane when I reached up to wipe away one small tear that formed in the corner of my eye.

Since my oldest daughter began swimming competitively two years ago, I have ALWAYS had this same reaction to her first strokes in the first heat. I cry and turn away so no one sees my blubbering reaction.

I cry not because she’s going to come in first.

I cry not because she’s a future Olympian or scholarship recipient.

I cry because she’s healthy; she’s strong; she’s capable.

And I cry because I love to watch her swim.

Oh my. Those six words …

With a confident smile, my daughter belted out her favorite line, “Don’t you worry your pretty little mind; people throw rocks at things that shine …”

As her small, agile fingers maneuvered the strings with ease, I had to look away. My vision became blurred by the tears that formed. In fact, this emotional reaction happens every time she gets to that line of the song.

Every. Single. Time.

I cry not because she has perfect pitch.

I cry not because she is a country music star in the making.

I cry because she is happy; she has a voice; and she is free.

And I cry because I love to watch her play.

I love to watch her swim.

I’ll be damned if I hadn’t told her this in so many words … or rather, in so few words.

I had always FELT that way—tearing up at every meet, but I hadn’t said it in so many words … or should I say, in so few words.

My child and I exited the room upon the completion of her lesson. As we walked down the empty hallway, I knew what needed to be said.

After the meet, my daughter and I stood in the locker room together, just the two of us. I wrapped a warm, dry towel around her shivering shoulders. And then I looked into her eyes and said, “I love to watch you swim. You glide so gracefully; you amaze me. I just love to watch you swim.”

I bent down, looking straight into the blue eyes sheltered behind pink spectacles and said, “I love to watch you play your ukulele. I love to hear you sing.”

Okay, so it wasn’t quite six words, but it was a huge reduction in what I normally would have said. And there was a reaction—a new reaction to my end of the meet “pep talk.”

My daughter slowly leaned into me, resting her damp head against my chest for several seconds, and expelled a heavy sigh. And in doing so, I swear I could read her mind:

It went against my grain to not elaborate, but I said nothing about the dots, nothing about the notes, and nothing about her pitch. This was a time to simply leave it at that.

My child’s face broke into her most glorious smile—the one that causes her eyes to scrunch up and become little slices of joy. And then she did something I didn’t expect. She threw herself against me, wrapped her arms tightly around my neck, and whispered, “Thank you, Mama.”

The pressure’s off. She just loves to watch me swim; that is all.

And in doing so, I swear I could read her mind: The pressure’s off. She loves to hear me play; that is all.

I knew I was onto something.

Given the overwhelmingly positive reactions of my daughters when presented with the short and sweet “I love to watch you play” remark, I knew I had a new mantra. Not that I would say it like a robot upon command or without reason, but I would say it when I FELT it—when tears come unexpectedly to my eyes or when suddenly I look down and see goosebumps on my arms.

Several days later, my 5 year old daughter had ukulele practice. It was a big day for her. The colored dots that lined the neck of her instrument since she started playing almost two years ago, were going to be removed. Her instructor believed she was ready to play without the aid of the stickers.

After removing the small blue, yellow, and red circles, her instructor asked her to play the song she has been working on for months, Taylor Swift’s “Ours.”

Pretty soon I found myself saying things like:

With no hesitation, my daughter began strumming and singing. I watched as her fingers adeptly found their homes—no need for colorful stickers to guide them.

“I love to watch you swing across the monkey bars.”

“I love to watch you read.”

“I love to watch you gently admire God’s smallest NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13

[ FAMILY ] creatures.”

“I love to watch you love your baby cousin.”

I now know how important it is to say it—say it simply—in moments when I feel that heart palpitating kind of love that comes solely from watching another human being who I adore.

Now at this point, I could wrap up this story with a nice, tidy, Kleenex-required ending, but living “Hands Free” means taking it a step further, going outside the comfort zone.

And it struck me that there is one other person to which this new mantra could apply. It hit me when this person, donned with white bandage on his arm from giving blood, was hoisting a large trashbag as we cleaned the art room at a center for residents with autism.

I watched him, my husband, from the corner of the room where I was dusting shelves with my youngest child. Embarrassingly, I had to turn away so no one saw me tear up. In that moment, I reflected on other recent events where I had been going about my business and had to stop to take pause. Moments when I stopped to watch my husband in action simply to admire the loving person, the devoted husband, and caring father he is.

But had I ever told him in so few words?

It was time.

And since writing is much easier for me than speaking, I wrote my observations down. There were no longwinded paragraphs or flowery descriptions, just words of love, plain and simple: I love watching you help our daughter learn to roller skate.

I love watching you teach her how to throw the football.

I love watching you help your employees in times of need or uncertainty.

I love watching you interact with your brother and sister.

I love watching you read side by side with our daughters.

I love watching you laugh.

I love watching you love our family.

I typed up his note and plan to give it to him when we have a quiet moment together this weekend. I don’t know what his reaction will be, but it doesn’t matter. I feel these things, so I should say these things.

When simply watching someone makes your heart feel as if it could explode right out of your chest, you really should let that person know.

It is as simple and lovely as that.

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[ SEASONAL ]

Savvy Thanksgiving Entertaining

by Shanna Hatfield If you’re planning to host Thanksgiving Dinner this year, there are some simple things you can do to make your guests feel even more welcome in your home.

Start the welcome at your front door. Hang a seasonal wreath or swag. If you don’t have one, have your youngsters gather big leaves, tie the stems with a ribbon and hang on the door. You can also have your budding artists draw or paint a welcome sign that can be hung outside.

Let a welcoming scent greet your guests as soon as they step inside. Have a candle burning in the entry, or at the least, have a scented wall plug-in. Think about scents that go with the season such as pumpkin, cinnamon or apple.

Clean out your coat closet or, if you don’t have one, make sure there is a designated area for coats. Enlist some youngsters to be the official door greeters and coat takers. It makes them feel important, keeps them occupied, makes guest feel welcome, and frees up your time for more important tasks.

If you are serving food buffet style, add in plenty of height, color and texture to your table.

If you are serving a plated meal or everyone will be seated at the table, have children create fun place cards for each guest.

When you are selecting a centerpiece, make sure it is low enough that everyone can see over the top of it. For a casual country look, use a piece of barn wood (that has been cleaned) down the length of the table and put a mixture of candles, nuts and pears or apples on it. For a more formal atmosphere, think about taper candles combined with seasonal flowers or even stalks of wheat tied in bundles with satin ribbon.

A hopeless romantic with a bit of sarcasm thrown in for good measure, Shanna Hatfield is a best-selling author of clean romantic fiction written with a healthy dose of humor. In addition to blogging and eating too much chocolate, she is completely smitten with her husband, lovingly known as Captain Cavedweller.

Shanna creates character-driven romances with realistic heroes and heroines. Her historical westerns have been described as “reminiscent of the era captured by Bonanza and The Virginian” while her contemporary works have been called “laugh-out-loud funny, and a little heart-pumping sexy without being explicit in any way.”

She is a member of Western Writers of America, Women Writing the West, and Romance Writers of America.

Make sure the guest bathroom is shiny-clean. This is one area guests will notice if everything isn’t in top shape. Spend a few minutes the night before scrubbing, polishing, and putting out fresh towels. A candle or small floral arrangement is a great finishing touch for the guest bath.

Have plenty of garbage bags on hand as well as plastic wrap and foil. If you are going to send home doggie bags, make sure you have resealable bags or even some take-out boxes to use.

Offer an activity for the children. It could be something as simple as Thanksgiving themed pages to color, board games, or find-the-thimble. Put an older child in charge of these activities. I read something the other day about a game that would have been played around the time of the first Thanksgiving celebration called “Kick the Shins” … now there is a game I could have fun with!

Most of all, remember it isn’t about the house, the food or the atmosphere – it is about the people. Be gracious, be welcoming, and create some warm memories that will last long after the turkey is finally gone!

NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15

[ SEASONAL ]

Ski Resort

Guide

Dodge Ridge 1 Dodge Ridge Rd Pinecrest, CA 95364 209.965.3474 www.dodgeridge.com Kids Programs: Intro to Snow Ski & Intro to Snow Ride lesson (ages 2 – 5): Introduction to snow with a caring and qualified instructor and learning is customized to pique your child’s interest.

Kinder Ski + Ride Lesson Program (ages 4 – 5): A playful and gentle beginning to skiing + riding elementary skills. Instruction will begin inside their specially designed Kinder Room followed by outdoor activities in the Children’s Learning Area.

Kids Club Lesson Program (ages 4 – 12): Recommended for children who are ready for skill development in a fun group environment.

Bear Valley 2280 SR 207 Bear Valley, CA 95223 209.753.2301 www.bearvalley.com Kids Programs: Bear Valley’s Cub Club offers Full Day, AM and PM sessions for kids ages 4-12. Your kids will get to experience the excitement of playing, sliding and gliding in the snow with kids their own age in a safe and caring environment. All Bear Valley instructors are great with kids and pass a background screening check to ensure your kids are properly cared for.

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Mammoth 10001 Minaret Rd Mammoth Lakes, CA 93546 800.626.6684 www.mammothmountain.com Kids Programs: Pioneers (ages 3 – 4): Morning group lesson, for skiers only.

Your child will learn at their own pace with small groups, playful teaching areas, carpet lifts and fun loving kid specialists!

Explorers (ages 5 – 7): For skiing and snowboarding kids learn to balance and gain strength as they grow.

Adventurers (ages 8 – 13): For skiing and snowboarding tween, will get the thrill of going downhill and feeling gravity give way under their boots.

Heavenly 3860 Saddle Rd South Lake Tahoe, CA 96150 775.586.7000 www.skiheavenly.com Kids Programs: Firecrackers (ages 4 – 5): A skiing group lesson specifically designed for the unique learning styles and needs of children.

Rockets (ages 6 – 13): Available to skiers of all ability levels, children will be placed in groups based on age and skiing ability.

Blasters (ages 5 – 6): Snowboarding group lessons specifically designed for the unique learning styles and needs of children.

Rockets (ages 7 – 13): Available to snowboarders of all ability levels, children will be placed in groups based on age and ability.

Homewood Mountain Resort 5145 Westlake Blvd Homewood, CA 96141 530.525.2992 www.skihomewood.com Kids Programs: Children’s Ski and Snowboard (ages 4 – 12): Programs provide your child with fun-filled snow adventure mere steps from the shores of Lake Tahoe and focuses on building and solidifying techniques in a positive learning environment.

Kirkwood Ski Resort 1501 Kirkwood Meadows Dr. Kirkwood, CA 95646 888.233.2887 www.kirkwood.com Kids Programs: Mini Rippers (ages 3 – 4): A ski & snow play program with a fun introduction to the sport for first timers and those still refining their beginner skills.

[ SEASONAL ] Mountain Explorers (ages 5 – 12): Meant for skiers to help them progress quickly, while staying safe and having fun.

Mini Groms (ages 3 – 4): This program uses the latest Burton technology designed for the youngest riders. The equipment removes the traditional boundaries confronted at this age enabling quicker skill development in a safe and fun environment.

Groms (ages 5 – 12): Their newly redesigned Adventure land and the Rip Curl Playground encourage early development of skills that translate into safe well rounded riders on the mountain and in the terrain park.

Sierra at Tahoe 1111 Sierra-At-Tahoe Rd Twin Bridges, CA 95735 530.659.7453 www.sierraattahoe.com Kids Programs: The Burton Star Wars™ Experience (Snowboarders ages 3 – 6): Learn the fun and art of snowboarding.

Blazers (Skiers ages 3 – 4): The Blazers learn-to-ski program caters to little ones with short attention spans. Children learn the fundamentals of skiing in the morning and afternoon.

Bandits (Skiers ages 5 – 6): The Bandits learn-to-ski program is aimed at slightly older children. In order to help develop their mountain skills and get the most enjoyment out of their skiing experience, the lesson combines off and on snow activities geared towards helping children understand the fundamentals and discover a passion for the sport.

Explorers (Skiers & Snowboarders ages 7 – 12): Use of the Thunder Gulch learning area which is specifically designed to help children learn the basics of either sport and provide a safe environment for them to develop those skills.

Squaw Valley Ski Resort 1960 Squaw Valley Rd Olympic Valley, CA 96146 530.452.4331 www.squaw.com Kids Programs: Pioneers Ski (ages 3 – 4): This ski program is an “educational learn to ski program” specially set up for this age group. The learning objective is to familiarize the child with the equipment, the snow environment and to have FUN! Explorers Ski Lesson (ages 5 – 7): The focus of Explorers is to enhance learning by exploring the mountain and keep the kids smiling. All ski levels are welcome, with groups starting at.

Grommets Snowboard Lesson (ages 5 – 7): With a small child to teacher ratio, our snowboard instructors will get this age group moving on their boards by using appropriate terrain and games.

Mountaineers Ski Lesson (ages 8 – 13): Available to snowboarders of all ability levels, children will be placed in groups based on age and ability.

Jibbers Snowboard Lesson (ages 8 – 13): Along with acquiring new skills, groups will learn slope etiquette, equipment knowledge, and a few tricks along the way!

Northstar at Tahoe 5001 Northstar Dr. Truckee, CA 96161 530.562.1010 www.northstarattahoe.com Kids Programs: The Lucky Stars (potty-trained 3 year olds): Ski school is jampacked with fun activities and ski lessons.

The Super Stars program (ages 4 – 6): A fun-filled ski or snowboard experience taught by instructors specializing in kidfriendly techniques.

The All Stars experience (7 – 12): An energetic lesson program for beginner through advanced ability levels that includes all the skill development and tricks this age group craves.

Diamond Peak Ski Resort 1210 Ski Way Incline Village, NV 89451 775.832.1177 www.diamondpeak.com Kids Programs: The Child Ski Center (ages 3 – 7): With a separate learning area, power line lift and a low instructor to child ratio of 1:5, your child is sure to receive the attention they deserve in a non-crowded and fun environment.

Group lessons are for children 4 – 7 only.

Note: 3 year olds are accepted in private lessons. Free lift tickets are included with all lessons.

NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 17

[ SEASONAL ]

Ski Resort

Guide

Mt. Rose Ski Resort 22222 Mt. Rose Highway Reno, NV 89511 775.849.0704 www.mtrose.com Kids Programs: Rosebuds Children’s Sessions (ages ski: 4 – 10; snowboard: 7 – 10): Classes with kids who have never seen snow, to kids who yearn for steeps. Mt. Rose Ski Resorts skilled instructors keep the day fun and safe. This program consists of an on-hill educational ski and snowboard program.

First Timers (ages 11+): Skilled and fun instructors help them gain confidence gliding, stopping and turning on wide open and gentle slopes with plenty of room to roam. They also have access to three dedicated beginner chairlifts and are provided beginner specific rental equipment with a 2-hour lesson.

Soda Springs Ski Resort 10244 Soda Springs Rd Soda Springs, CA 95728 530.426.3901 www.skisodasprings.com Kids Programs: Planet Kids (ages 8 and under) : Access to skiing/snowboarding, tubing, 2 moving carpets, 2 tube carousels, sleigh rides and more!

Beginner Package (ages 8 and up): Includes beginner lift ticket, 1 ½ hour group lesson and rental equipment. Ski or snowboard options available. Lift ticket is limited to Lion’s Head beginner chair.

Private Lessons (ages 3+): With specially trained instructors for all ages and ability levels starting at age 3, Soda Springs offers instruction for every skier and rider. You’ll even get the inside scoop on their top-secret powder stashes, hidden runs and the best routes all over the mountain.

Boreal Ski Resort 19749 Boreal Ridge Rd Soda Springs, CA 95728 530.426.3666 www.rideboreal.com Kids Programs: Start with Woodward (beginners, ages 7 - 12): Has your child never been on snow before? Only skied/snowboarded once or twice? If so, this is the program for them. They will teach them all the basics in a fun group with kids their age.

Ride with Woodward (intermediate – Terrain Park, ages 7 - 12): Now that your child has a solid foundation and can stop and turn both ways, it’s time to explore the mountain!

Lessons are also available for children 4 – 7, through both of these lesson packages.

Sugar Bowl 629 Sugar Bowl Rd Norden, CA 95724 530.426.9000 www.sugarbowl.com Kids Programs: Cub Tracks (Skiers ages 4 – 5): Offers all day packages, 2 hour packages or lesson only options.

Bear Tracks (Skiers or Snowboarders ages 6 – 12): Offers all day packages, 2 hour packages or lesson only options.

Learn to Ski & Ride Development Program (ages 6 – 12; Ski & Snowboarders): This class focuses skiers or snowboarders on Terrain Based Learning.

Signature Private Lessons (no age requirement): Customized ski or snowboard program for any level.

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Mt. Shasta Ski Park Hwy 89 & Ski Park Hwy Mount Shasta, CA 96067 530.926.8610 www.skipark.com Kids Programs: Shasta Snow Kids (ages 5 – 8): Coyote Kids intro package are available for first timers and beginners. Snow Tiger Marmot Package is available for beginner chairlift riders.

Junior Lessons (ages 9 – 12): Guaranteed to Learn package is available for first timers only. Marmot Package is available for beginner chairlift riders. 1-2-3 Learn to Slide program is for first time skiers or snowboarders who would love a FREE season pass!

[ SEASONAL ] Badger Pass Glacier Point Rd Yosemite National Park, CA 95389 209.372.1000 www.yosemitepark.com/BadgerPass Kids Program: Badger Pups (ages 4 – 6): Customized and sensitive ski instruction for downhill ski programs. This is for only skiers; snowboarders must be ages 7 or older to take snowboarding lessons.

Introduction to Skiing/Snowboarding Lesson: Sample the fun at Badger Pass with this Introductory Ski or Snowboard lesson package. These 1- to 2-hour first-time beginner ski lessons are offered at 10 am and 2 pm daily.

Babysitting (ages 3 – 9): Children enjoy a range of activities and games, taught by certified babysitters.

Bear Mountain 880 Summit Blvd Big Bear Lake, CA 92315 909.866.5766 www.bearmountain.com Kids Programs: Little Bear (ages 4 – 7): Utilize teaching methods and techniques geared specifically to the learning style of young children.

Riglet Park (ages 3 – 6): Learn to ride miniature park features by using Burton’s innovative Learn-to-Ride Technology. They will learn to balance while riding over mellow rollers, small berms and ground level features.

Mountain High 24510 California 2 Wrightwood, CA 9297 888.754.7878 www.mthigh.com Kids Programs: Virtual Snow (ages 1 – 3): Simulation training is the safest way to learn the fundamental snow skills.

Children’s Academy (ages 4 – 9): Includes morning and afternoon lessons, 8-hour lift ticket, rentals, snack, healthy lunch and progress card.

The Grommet Freestyle Camp (ages 10 – 12): An innovative, interactive training program with a major emphasis on safety and environmental respect.

The Blue Angel Program (ages 7 – 13): Ongoing, seasonal, five week ski and snowboard program.

Snow Summit 880 Summit Blvd Big Bear Lake, CA 92315 909.866.576 www.snowsummit.com Kids Programs: First Time Beginner Lessons (ages 8 – 12): 4 hours of instruction on the same day, a beginner lift ticket, and a continuing education coupon. 2 hour option available as well.

The Next Step (ages 8 – 12): Perfect for second time beginners to advanced skiers and snowboarders. Includes all mountain list ticket and continuing education coupon. 2 hour option available as well.

Little Bear School (ages 5 – 7): 4 hour lesson and an all mountain lift ticket Little Bear Camp (ages 4 – 7): Beginner to intermediate ranges, similar to school but includes shelter and lunch. **Please note, visit website or call Ski Resorts prior to visiting to make sure they are open**

NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ]

Will You Have the Friends You Need When You Need Them the Most?

by Diane Gage Lofgren and Margaret Bhola If your life suddenly fell apart today, who are the first three women you’d call? Who are your intention holders -- those friends who are there for you no matter what, as confidantes and cheerleaders as you overcome adversity or celebrate accomplishments?

In today’s busy, hyper-connected world, heart-to-heart friendships can seem impossible. But if you’re intentional, you can create and maintain a support system of women to turn to as curators of support, companionship and love.

After interviewing dozens of women for our book, Women I Want to Grow Old With, we learned that the urgencies of the moment -- work, family, volunteer or community commitments -- often prevent women from reaching out to sustain friendships or create new ones. Social media helps us keep up with each other’s milestones and activities, but nothing replaces the intimate conversations and personal connections that allow us to truly be part of each other’s life.

Don’t Leave Friendships to Chance As a consultant, Pat traveled 150,000 miles a year for business and barely had time to go to the cleaners, much less see her girlfriends.

Diane Gage Lofgren and Margaret Bhola are authors of Women I Want to Grow Old With.

Diane is the author of nine books and scores of magazine articles on personal and business relationships.

She serves as Senior Vice President of Marketing and Communications for Sharp HealthCare, an integrated health care delivery system in San Diego.

Margaret has an extensive background in business, sales and marketing and human relations.

She became a national marketing director for The Juice Plus Company, a global nutrition company, and is known for being an effective leader and team coach.

“When that job ended, I thought, ‘I should call so-and-so,’ and then I’d realize I hadn’t spoken to that friend in years. Or, I’d remember another friend, and it would occur to me I never made time to return her call. Finally, I swallowed my pride, reached out, and made lots of apologies. Eventually, I rebuilt my network and vowed never to let that happen again. I had lost all balance. Life is so much better and fuller with my girlfriends.”

Like Pat, our lives can change in an instant. Many women find themselves suddenly alone or lonely when they move, change jobs, lose a best friend or partner, or the kids leave home for college or careers. If we haven’t purposefully built and maintained our reservoir of friends, we won’t have the friends we need when we need them the most. Seems so simple, yet if we overlook this important aspect, we can find ourselves desperately wanting for other women with whom to share our lives -- and not have the slightest idea of where to turn.

Sometimes fears and concerns can move us to take bold steps. Just as we invest in our health and finances as a safety net for the future, we must not leave our friendships to chance. We wouldn’t let our bank account dry up without taking serious action, would we? It’s time to secure the friendships we want today -- and tomorrow!

Hanging Out with Friends Improves Our Health Friends don’t just make us feel better emotionally. Research shows that spending time with friends actually helps us live longer, healthier lives. A landmark University of California, Los Angeles study showed that the hormone

20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | NOVEMBER 2014

[ WOMEN & RELATIONSHIPS ] oxytocin, released when women share each other’s company, staves off stress, loneliness, and disease.

The more friendships women have, the less likely they are to develop physical health issues and the more easily they recover after the death of a partner, according to the Harvard Medical School Nurses’ Health Study.

Women with friends are also 26 percent less likely to develop dementia, according to a study by Kaiser Permanente, as reported in the American Journal of Public Health.

Friendships are not just good for women. The Centre for Ageing Studies at Flinders University found that all people with large networks of friends outlived those with the fewest friends by 22 percent.

1. Imagine yourself in the middle of concentric circles.

2. Write the names of your closest, most intimate friends in the next circle. These are your confidantes -- your intention holders. If you don’t have any, don’t worry.

3. Place the names of other friends and acquaintances in remaining spheres. These may be women in your neighborhood, those you see at your children’s school functions, or perhaps someone you only see at your yoga class. With intention, you can decide which of those women you want to be closer to and then take steps to get to know them better. Over time, some will even become your intention holders.

Next time you sense that you and another woman have a point of confluence, say or do something. Don’t let self-

Widen Your View and Discover New Friends At times, the thought of finding new friends can seem daunting. However, if we think about all the women we come in contact with throughout our daily lives, chances are we can more easily make new friends than initially imagined. Here are three steps you can follow to help you create new connections and widen your friendship circle.

The

doubt or excuses (she’s probably too busy) thwart your desire for meaningful woman-to-woman relationships.

Ask for her card, get her phone number, invite her to coffee or for a walk -- and then, follow up to set a specific date and time! Remember, it doesn’t matter who gets it on the calendar. What matters is the meaningful and lasting connection you are about to make!

secret of education lies in respecting the pupil. [ Ralph Waldo EmERson ]

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NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 21

[ HEALTH ]

Ask a UCSF Benioff Oakland Children’s Hospital Oakland/Walnut Creek Expert:

by Vivien Nguyen, Pediatric Gastroenterologist With the holidays fast approaching and more and more children and adults having food allergies and dietary restrictions, how do you get ready for a holiday meal?

Food allergies are much more common than they were fifteen or twenty years ago. Although they are being diagnosed more frequently and earlier, the good news is that there is a lot more awareness of them now. So when hosting a holiday party, you have to be mindful that there can be many food triggers in a holiday meal. The most common food allergies are milk, eggs, soy, wheat (gluten), nuts, fish, and shellfish – many of which can be found in a holiday meal. And even foods that seem harmless could be a reason for concern. For example, turkeys can have ingredients such as soy, wheat or diary in the baste or thes brine. Even if allergen isn’t in the food, the food item might have been processed in a plant with other foods that might cause allergic reactions.

Q: Is planning ahead important?

A: Yes, definitely. First, ask your guests what their specific food allergies or food senstivities might be. Then you have a good idea of some of the foods you might want to avoid. Send a menu to your guests ahead of time. You can also get a hold of the labels for what you are cooking and send copies of some of the labels ahead of time to your guests to see if anything might be problematic. If guests are bringing items for the meal, ask them about their ingredients or for a recipe to ensure that no one else will have a problem with a dish.

Q: Do you have any tips for preparing a holiday meal?

A: It goes without saying that whole foods, like fruit, vegetables, and organic meats, are preferable to processed foods for a number of reasons, but they are especially important when trying to avoid food allergies because they are not processed with other foods. Also, when actually cooking the holiday meal, avoid cross contamination. For example, if you’re chopping nuts, it’s not enough to just rinse a knife and then go to next food – you need to wash the utensil thoroughly in soap and warm water. You can also ask a guest who has a food sensitivity or allergy to prepare a dish that they can eat and share with the group.

Q: If there is an allergic reaction at your meal, what should you do?

A: If your guests have their own emergency medicine, such as an Epipen, then they should use it, but if there is no emergency medicine, call 911 right away. Some severe reactions might include swelling of lips, difficutly breathing, or swallowing.

This is anaphylaxis. These type of reactions are generally rare. If someone has a sensitivity or mild allergic reaction, they may experience digestive discomfort or diarrhea.

Q: What is you are travelling or eating out during the holidays?

A: It’s important to stay a step ahead and plan for any unknowns. If you are having a holiday meal at a restaurant, call ahead and ask for their menu. Or go over how foods are prepared and what measures they take to reduce cross-contamination.

If you are on a trip, ship allergy-safe foods ahead of time. And of course, if you or your child has emergency medicine, you should always have it on-hand. Also, if you are at a friend or relative’s house, keep an eye on your kids so they don’t reach out for something they could be allergic to – or just watch them so they don’t have too many cookies before the meal!

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[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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[ EVENTS ]

November Alameda County NOVEMBER 1 Family Cycling Workshop Murray Elementary School Dublin 10:00am – 12:30pm www.ci.dublin.ca.us Brazilian Jiu Jitsu Civic Center Library Livermore 2:00pm – 3:00pm www.cityoflivermore.net How to Build a Pallet Coaster Kids Workshop Local Home Depot 9:00am – 12:00pm www.homedepot.com Thankful Turkey Craft Kids Workshop Local Michaels Craft Store 10:00am – 12:00pm www.michaels.com Pajama Jam Local Pottery Barn 5:00pm – 9:00pm www.michaels.com

NOVEMBER 2 Shades & Pretty Lights 739 Main Street Suite I Pleasnaton 4:00pm – 7:00pm www.pleasantondowntown.net

NOVEMBER 3 – 25 Holiday Food Drive: Help Us Help Others 1947 Center Street Berkeley 8:30am – 4:00pm www.ci.berkeley.ca.us Children’s Craft Drop-In Springtown Branch Library Livermore 12:00pm – 8:00pm www.cityoflivermore.net

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NOVEMBER 7 – 8 Holiday Boutique Veterans Memorial Building Alameda 12:00pm – 8:00pm www.alamedaca.gov

Parent/Child Peruvian Cooking Civic Center Library Livermore 11:00am – 12:00pm www.cityoflivermore.net

NOVEMBER 8 Hometown Heroes Dublin Senior Center 2:30pm – 4:30pm www.ci.dublin.ca.us

Holiday Spirit Stroll Downtown Pleasanton 5:00pm – 8:00pm www.pleasantondowntown.net

Chiquy Boom Clown & Magic Show Civic Center Library Livermore 10:30am – 11:30am www.cityoflivermore.net

HAPPY THANKSGIVING

NOVEMBER 11 Veterans Day

NOVEMBER 13 FREE Personal Emergency Preparedness Class Fremont Fire Training Tower 7:00pm – 10:00pm www.fremont.gov Zun Zun Tunes Civic Center Library Livermore 7:00pm – 8:00pm www.cityoflivermore.net

NOVEMBER 15 Veterans Day Annual 5K/10K Run Camp Parks Dublin 9:00am – 12:00pm www.ci.dublin.ca.us Children’s Craft Drop-In Civic Center Library Livermore 10:30am – 1:00pm www.cityoflivermore.net

NOVEMBER 22 Earlier Than The Bird Downtown Livermore 7:00am – 11:00am www.cityoflivermore.net

NOVEMBER 27 Thanksgiving Swim: Feast of a Workout King Pool Berkeley 10:00am – 12:00pm www.ci.berkeley.ca.us Piedmont Turkey Trot Piedmont Excedra 8:30am www.piedmontturkeytrot.com

Contra Costa County NOVEMBER 1 Dia de los Muertos ‘Day of the Dead’ Alhambra Pioneer Cemetery 10:00am – 11:30am www.cityofmartinez.org How to Build a Pallet Coaster Kids Workshop Local Home Depot 9:00am – 12:00pm www.homedepot.com Pajama Jam Local Pottery Barn 5:00pm – 9:00pm www.michaels.com

NOVEMBER 2 Bedford Gallery Craft Fest 1601 Civic Drive Walnut Creek 10:00am – 4:00pm www.ci.walnut-creek.ca.us

[ EVENTS ]

November LLLC 5th Anniversary ‘A Literary Festival’ Lafayette Library & Learning Center 11:00am – 3:00pm www.lafayettelib.org

NOVEMBER 8

NOVEMBER 24

NOVEMBER 27

Walnuts and Woodworking Forest Home Farms Historic Park San Ramon 10:00am – 2:00pm www.sanramon.ca.gov

Fall Mini Camp Nancy Boyd Park Martinez 9:00am – 3:00pm www.cityofmartinez.org

Silicon Valley Turkey Trot Downtown San Jose Race Starts: 7:25am www.svturkeytrot.com/race-info

NOVEMBER 4 – 18

NOVEMBER 10

Adventure Tuesday Club –Friends in the Forest Lindsay Wildlife Museum 1:00pm – 2:15pm wildlife-museum.org

French Storytime and Craft Lafayette Library and Learning Center 6:30pm – 7:30pm www.lafayettelib.org

Only Owls Lindsay Wildlife Museum 10:00am – 12:00pm wildlife-museum.org

Gingerbread Architecture Extravaganza Bay Area Discovery Museum Cost: $20/kit www.baykidsmuseum.org

NOVEMBER 5 - 19

NOVEMBER 11

At Home in the Trees Lindsay Wildlife Museum 9:30am – 10:15am or 1 0:30am – 11:15am wildlife-museum.org

Veterans Day

NOVEMBER 6 First Thursday Shop Local Day and Night Downtown Hartz Ave Danville 10:00am – 7:00pm www.danville.ca.gov Gremlins Village Theatre Danville 7:30pm – 9:00pm www.danville.ca.gov ARF Awards Dinner 599 Blackhawk Club Dr. Danville 6:00pm – 9:00pm www.arf.net

NOVEMBER 7 Kids Night Out Modern Recess San Ramon Occurs every Friday and Saturday evening 6:30pm – 9:30pm www.modernrecess.com Preschool Performance Series – Cowgirl Tricks with Karen Quest Village Theatre Danville 10:00am www.villagetheatreshows.com

NOVEMBER 13 Spirit of Danville Pre-Holiday Shopping and Dining Event Downtown, Livery and Rose Garden Shopping Center 11:00am – 8:00pm www.danville.ca.gov

NOVEMBER 17 Mini Monday – Thank You Animals Lindsay Wildlife Museum 10:00am – 12:00pm wildlife-museum.org

NOVEMBER 20 Wizard of Oz School Performances Village Theatre 9:00am, 11:00am & 1:00pm www.villagetheatreshows.com

NOVEMBER 21 36th Annual Community Thanksgiving Breakfast Saviors Lutheran Church Lafayette 7:00am – 8:30am www.lafayettechamber.org

NOVEMBER 23 Frozen Sing-Along Village Theatre Danville 1:00pm – 7:00pm www.danville.ca.gov

NOVEMBER 25

NOVEMBER 29 – 30

Made in California Workshop Lindsay Wildlife Museum Various times and ages wildlife-museum.org

NOVEMBER 27 HAPPY THANKSGIVING 22nd Annual Forma Gym Walnut Creek Turkey Trot Downtown Walnut Creek Race Starts: 8:00am www.formaturkeytrot.com Nitro Turkey Thanksgiving Run Point Pinole Regional Shoreline Races Begin: 9:00am www.brazenracing.com

NOVEMBER 28 Lighting of the Old Oak Tree Diablo Rd and Hartz Danville 5:00pm – 8:00pm www.danville.ca.gov

Out of Area NOVEMBER 6 Zero to Eight: Learning and Media Use in Early Childhood Discovery Theatre Bay Area Discovery Museum 6:00pm Reception 6:30pm Free Lecture www.baykidsmuseum.org

Email info@activefamilymag.com to subscribe to our weekly email blast for more events!

NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 25

[ SEASONAL ]

Small Helping Hands Can Have a Big Impact

by Primrose Schools of Pleasanton Many parents in today’s world find it more important than ever to raise compassionate children. But some may find it difficult to know where to begin. Dr. Gloria Julius, vice president of education for Primrose Schools, suggests parents introduce volunteerism at an early age.

“Giving back is especially top-of-mind around the holidays, so this is a good time to start a year-round habit with your young children,” said Dr. Julius. “Volunteering To learn more about Primrose School of Pleasanton, visit www.PrimrosePleasanton.com, or call 925-600-7746

plays an important role in the development of character. It teaches children that they can do things that positively impact the world around them. Even young children can learn to become active participants in their communities.”

Here are four key steps for parents to teach their children the value of volunteering in a meaningful way: • Clarify your personal goals and motives for wanting to include your child in volunteer activities. Volunteering is a wonderful way to a share your values with your child. Pick a cause that is meaningful to you and your family rather than one that is simply convenient.

• Explain the importance of volunteerism and the contribution volunteers can make. A child’s favorite question is “why?” Keep your answers simple and concrete.

• Choose volunteer activities to do with your children that are age-appropriate.

Children as young as 3 can begin volunteering. At this age they begin to enjoy participation in group activities and are better able to follow directions.

Remember that a preschooler’s concept of the world is not very large and is usually limited primarily to their home, neighborhood and school; therefore, it is important to keep the activity within the realm of what they can imagine.

• Find a child-friendly not-for-profit. Ask the following questions to help you select the volunteer opportunity that is right for your family: Does the organization have experience with and a history of successfully working with children and families?

Will the organization staff welcome my child’s participation? Is there a specific job that my child can do successfully? Can the organization provide a concrete example that will help your child understand how his or her efforts benefit others?

Ultimately, we know a compassionate child is more likely to grow to become a compassionate adult. Volunteering is a positive way to encourage this behavior by getting your child involved in your community at an early age. So with these steps in mind, sit down with your family and make a plan to lend a helping hand.

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[ ACTIVE FAMILY ]

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Working with their parents, Dr. Shelby and her staff have been successful treating many children who otherwise might have been sedated. In addition, Dr. Shelby has a degree in Orthodontics so as her patients grow, the transition into braces is more comfortable. Seeing the smiles on the faces of her patients as they grow from tiny tots to confident teens is one of the great joys of her life.

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[ FAMILY ]

Christine Carter, Ph.D.*, is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of “RAISING HAPPINESS: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.” She teaches online happiness classes that help parents bring more joy into their own lives and the lives of their children, and she writes an award-winning blog for *Greater Good* (www.greatergoodparents.org).

Gratitude vs. Materialism: Holiday Happiness is Simpler Than You Might Think! by by Dr. Christine Carter The holidays are a mixed bag, happiness-wise, even for the most Martha Stewart-y among us. They are ripe for deep joy (more on that later), but rampant materialism and excessive busyness fuels stress, anxiety, and the perils of sleep deprivation.

First, the bad news: The holiday season brings with it boundless opportunities for unhappiness.

Cultural messages about the holidays are typically materialistic. Amped-up advertising tempts us, and our children, at every turn. (Yesterday, I found one of my daughters going through the recycling, pulling out catalogs I’d tried to get rid of.

She couldn’t believe I’d dare recycle an American Girl catalog—the gall!).

Holiday retail sales reports are taken, quite literally, as a marker of our collective well being and health. These economic numbers aren’t trivial, but they’re definitely not the only important indicator of our well being on which the media can report.

All this materialism doesn’t make us happy. Materialistic folks tend to be dissatisfied

28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | NOVEMBER 2014

[ FAMILY ] with their lives, have low self-esteem, be less integrated into their community, find less meaning in life, and be less concerned about the welfare of others. The list goes on and on: Materialistic people are also less satisfied with their family lives, the amount of fun and enjoyment they experience, and they are more likely to be depressed and envious.

Kids aren’t exempt from this either. Materialistic kids don’t do as well in school, and are at greater risk for depression, anxiety, and unhappiness; and they are less inclined to connect to and help others in their neighborhood and community.

How can the holidays possibly be happy with all the prompts to think materialistic thoughts and the push to buy, buy, buy?

Now here’s the good news: Gratitude can stave off the emotional dangers of the December holidays.

Here’s why: When we consciously practice feeling grateful and expressing our gratitude to others, our perception changes. We start to see the world and our lives differently. We don’t notice little grievances and daily hassles. Our brains simply can’t keep track of all the stimuli coming in, and our conscious focus on the positive simply doesn’t leave much room to ruminate on the negative. Gratitude changes what we see, hear, and feel—and what we don’t.

for which we feel grateful—and when we practice expressing gratitude to others—we become more grateful people, year-round.

And grateful children and teens tend to thrive. They get higher grades, are more satisfied with their lives, are more integrated socially (e.g., they feel like they are a significant part of their communities), and they are more likely to experience “flow” in their activities. They show fewer signs of depression. Grateful teens also tend to feel less envy—something to remember the next time your kids get the “gimmies.”

Moreover, grateful kids are more motivated to help other people, perhaps because they feel more connected to others on a macro level. The researchers who conducted one study investigating this among middle school youth believe that gratitude can help “initiate upward spirals toward greater emotional and social well-being”—not just in our kids, but in society as well.

So if the holidays are bringing lots of material gifts into your household, may they also bring great gratitude.

Need ideas for holiday traditions that foster gratitude?

Check out my blog at www.christinecarter.com.

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Ever have that experience where you notice something for the first time—then afterward, you start seeing it everywhere? For example, after I looked up the definition of “itinerate,” I soon started seeing that word everywhere. I’ve since seen and heard it used so frequently I can’t believe I didn’t know what it meant before.

A similar thing happens when we start trying to look for things to appreciate in life: They start popping up everywhere.

Research suggests that this grateful perception can have a wide effect on kids’ lives, well beyond Thanksgiving dinner. When we get into the habit of looking for things

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Teaching our children to focus on what they are grateful for can change their perception, too, making them at least partly immune to some of the materialistic messages that arrive with the holidays and Santa.

NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29

[[ EVENTS FAMILY ]]

How to Know If Your Daughter Is a Victim of the Mean Girl Scene

by Dr. Michelle Borba “Relational aggression refers to harm within relationships that is caused by covert bullying or manipulative behavior. Examples include isolating a youth from his or her group of friends (social exclusion), threatening to stop talking to a friend (the ‘‘silent treatment’’), or spreading gossip and rumors by e-mail.

Relational aggression tends to be manipulative or subtle, and may not appear as typically aggressive behavior.” – NASP

Dr. Michele Borba is an internationally recognized expert and author on children, teens, parenting, bullying and moral development.

She is an NBC contributor appearing over 100 times on the TODAY show and is the regular parenting expert on Dr. Drew’s Lifechangers. Her work has been featured on Dr. Phil, Dateline, The View, The Doctors, Fox News, The Early Show and CNN and well as in Newsweek, People, Good Housekeeping, Chicago Tribune, U.S. News & World Report, Washington Post, The New York Times and The Globe and Mail.

She was an MSNBC contributor to two televised “Education Nation” specials.

Dr. Borba is the award-winning author of 22 parenting and educational books translated into 14 languages. Titles include: Don’t Give Me That Attitude!, Parents Do Make A Difference, The Big Book of Parenting Solutions: 101 Answers to Your Everyday Challenges and Wildest Worries, and Nobody Likes Me, Everybody Hates Me!, No More Misbehavin’, Building Moral Intelligence (cited

by Publishers’ Weekly as “Among the most noteworthy of 2001”), and Esteem Builders used by 1.5 million students worldwide. She writes as the parenting expert for Dr. Oz’s website, as well a daily column for her blog, Dr. Borba’s Reality Check. www.micheleborba.com twitter @micheleborba blog: http://micheleborba.com/blog

It’s the New Mean Girl Scene!

“I don’t want to go to school!”

“All the girls hate me!”

“Can’t we please just go away for awhile?”

“I can’t take it anymore!”

“It’s not getting better! Why don’t you believe me?”

Sound familiar? They’re the kind of comments young girls utter about the “mean girl scene.” What they may not be saying is how it makes them feel: Left out. Rejected. Excluded. Gossiped about. Hurt. Humiliated. Even terrorized.

The problem is most girls are too embarrassed to say their true feelings to their parents or teachers and so they keep their humiliation, stress and terror to themselves.

They are victims of hurtful, cruel behavior called “Relational Aggression” or RA that is perpetrated by other girls –usually peers.

The goal of relational aggression is to damage the girl’s social standing or reputation by intentionally manipulating how others view her.

The methods of RA are always cold and calculated: Deliberately isolating or excluding the victim, spreading vicious rumors or posting scandalous lies online, or creating situations to publicly humiliate her. And the Mean Girl Scene is starting younger. The consequences to the victim’s mental health and character are serious.

Unfortunately, the signs of relational aggression are often tougher for parents and teachers to spot than traditional bullying. One reason is because there are usually no physical scrapes, bruises, torn clothing, or lost items that are more typical with physical or sexual-type bullying.

But there’s another reason: Our daughters may not tell us that they are victims which is exactly why parents and teachers must learn the warnings signs.

Studies show that the older the girl, the less likely she will divulge her troubling experience with the mean social scene to an adult. Research also finds a common top reason for their silence: Suffering in silence is often much easier than admitting to peer humiliation.

Many girls also admit that they did “tell” a parent, teacher or other caregiver and even ask for help, but they were only to have their “tale” dismissed as “trivial, an exaggeration or just plain untrue.”

“Why bother,” many a girl told me. “No one listened.”

30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | NOVEMBER 2014

FAMILY ]] [ [EVENTS “It’s just easier to stay quiet,” others said.

“I did try to tell, but my mom told me it was exaggerating.”

“It would be far worse if the girls found out I snitched on them. My life would be a living hell.”

As a result many girls never receive the emotional help they so desperately need. Let’s not wait and hope our girls come to use. They may not. That’s why it important that you get educated about RA and learn the signs so you can help your daughter.

10 Signs A Girl May Be a “Mean Girl” Victim Here are a few behaviors that could be signs of RL. Of course, there could be a number of other reasons for such behaviors, but any one of the traits below should be a red flag that something is wrong and warrant a closer look. Do know that every girl is going to have a “hard day or week,” but RA is a pattern that usually endures.

Don’t expect your daughter to tell you that she is having trouble, most don’t. Humiliation, fear, and concern that things will get worse (or we won’t believe them) are top reasons kids don’t tell. Just don’t overlook that relational aggression could be a possible cause.

She starts pulling away from things she once enjoyed.

She is lonely.

6. She doesn’t speak of having any friends No one calls, texts, emails or invites her over (not for one day or one weekend but as a general pattern).

Remember, popularity is a myth. Girls don’t need lots of friends, but they do need one or two loyal buddies.

The red flag here is if your daughter has no friends, or had friends and suddenly “lost” them.

7. She suddenly avoids certain social situations She doesn’t want to go to school or take part in the scouting, church group, soccer club, 4-H or other group activities she once enjoyed.

8. She seems jittery, concerned or even afraid when an email, text, message, or phone call comes for her She may quickly cover up the computer screen or refuse to answer a text or personal call. It may mean she is the victim of cyberbullying or fears that vicious electronic gossip or photos are being circulated about her.

1. She is “picked on,” shunned, or excluded often Every girl will be picked on or left out, but if you hear this complaint more than a few times take your daughter seriously. Bullying is a usually a repeated behavior that always has a negative intent. Once a girl becomes a target, she often is repeatedly targeted. Watch for a repeated pattern.

9. She has a sudden change in her eating or sleep habits She suddenly complains of stomach or headaches or the inability to focus or concentrate. She can’t sleep or sleeps much longer. Her grades take a dip.

2. She displays a pattern of wishy-washy, on-and-off again “friendships” She seems to be friends with one girl one week and then “hates” her the next week. Or she’s “best friends” with one girl one day and then quickly becomes best friends with another girl another day.

10. She starts to speak about girls in a mean way She adopts the attitude and behavior of a mean girl.

Beware: victims can switch and become the bully if not helped. And our kids are affected by their peer group. Keep an eye on the scene.

3. She speaks negatively about certain girls or a certain group of girls or clique This could be the same group of girls that she once considered to be good friends.Tune in a bit closer.

It could be a sign that relational aggression is happening in your child’s class or group.

If you think your daughter is really having a hard time,be available. Schedule a few weekends together. Take her to the gym with you. Take her to lunch. Find her an ally.

Talk to the teacher. Talk to other adults – and her friends – who care about her to help you gain perspective. Help her create a safety plan or “out” away from the scene.

Help her find a friend. If she needs friendship making skills, help her learn them. Seek a counselor’s advice.

Increase her self-esteem. And believe her!

4. She has a sudden marked and uncharacteristic change in mood The girl may seems sadder or even depressed or more irritable or angry and those changes seems to come on when she comes home from school, during the weekends (when she may be “uninvited”) or after a phone call, email or text-message.

5. She suddenly withdraws

If things get really tough, consider seeking professional help. Bullying is a repeated pattern. It can increase and endure. Keep an eye on the scene. And most importantly, keep an eye on your daughter.

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[ HEALTH ]

7 Ways to Outsmart Overeating & Holiday Weight Gain

by Julie Upton, MS, RD It may be the most wonderful time of the year—but it’s not always so kind to your waistline. With all the office parties, family dinners and social functions, it seems impossible to not gain weight over the holidays.

Julie Upton is a registered dietitian and communications expert specializing in nutrition, fitness and health. Ms. Upton is a nationally recognized journalist who has written thousands of articles for national newspapers, magazines and e-media including The New York Times, Prevention, Shape, Health, Good Housekeeping, Redbook and Men’s Journal.

She is co-author of The Real Skinny: Appetite for Health’s 101 Fat Habits and Slim Solutions (Penguin 2013) and Energy to Burn: The Ultimate Food and Nutrition Guide to Fuel Your Active LIfe (Wiley 2009). Upton co-founded Appetite for Health (www.

AppforHealth.com), where she blogs daily about nutrition, fitness and health.

She is a frequent guest on national and local television and radio stations.

She has been interviewed on the NBC Today Show, CBS Evening News and ABC World News Tonight.

She co-produces Appetite for Health, a weekly nutrition news segment that airs nationally and writes for the companion website, AppforHealth. com.

Ms. Upton attended the University of Michigan and received a Bachelor of Science degree in Nutrition from Michigan State University. She completed her dietetic internship at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, a Harvard Medical School teaching hospital.

She holds a Master of Science Degree in Nutrition Communications from Boston University.

For many, holiday weight gain int the one “gift” they really want to return after the season is over.

The goal is to get through the eating season without gaining an ounce. Then, when all the temptations are gone come January 1, losing weight will be a cinch.

To help, try these seven tricks that dietitians do themselves to keep on track during the holiday season. Some of these dietitians have devised ways to lose weight during the most tempting time of the year. Here’s how: 1. Nix or Limit Alcohol Here’s my best tip: It’s hard not to drink when everyone else is, but alcohol ups your appetite, makes food seem more appealing and decreases your resolve to eat well. Not to mention the empty calories in alcohol: A regular beer has 150 calories; light beer, 100; a glass of wine, 120; a shot of alcohol, 100. A spiked eggnog, 300 calories and most cocktails are 250-300 calories.

If not drinking makes you feel like a party pooper, go for calorie-poor options like a half-shot of distilled spirits mixed with a calorie-free beverage or a wine spritzer.

2. BYOD = Bring Your Own Dish Another trick of mine: When I’m going to a holiday dinner, I always bring a healthy dish to share. Most people will bring a bottle of wine or desserts, but I often show up with a veggie crudité and a trio of healthy dips, a lighter cranberry sauce or large fresh fruit salad topped with mint leaves. You may be surprised: your healthier dish may make you the MVP of the party.

3. Keep Problem Foods Out of Your Home “Keep ‘trigger foods’ out of the house,” says Erin Macdonald, RD of U Rock Girl. “Out of sight, out of mind, out of mouth.” Studies consistently show we’ll eat more if those foods we love so much are visible and readily available. If you can’t control yourself with homemade baked goods in the house, have them stored at someone else’s house or don’t bake them and buy them or have someone else bring them.

4. Honor Your Hunger “If I eat when I’m hungry and stop when I’m full, I don’t overdo my intake. I eat in a well-balanced way most of the time and then allow myself to eat what I want at the big holiday meals while following my hunger fullness cues,” explains Julie Brake, MS, RD, from Positive Nutrition. Use the Hunger Scale over the holidays to help keep you honest.

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[ HEALTH ] 5. Say Thanks, but no Thanks “Just because food is offered, doesn’t mean you have to eat it,” saysSherri Nordstrom Stastny, Ph.D., RD, CSSD, from North Dakota State University. “Even if you’re attending an expensive shin-dig at a four-star restaurant, it doesn’t mean you have to eat until you feel sick.”

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6. Get Some Exercise Every Day “Don’t put your health on hold by saying there’s ‘not enough time,’” says Jennifer O’Donnell-Giles, MS, RD, CSSD, of Active Nutrition LLC. “On the days that you exercise, you’ll eat better. Exercise releases “feel good” chemicals in your brain, and if you don’t get this chemical release through exercise, you’ll reach for food to release such chemicals (i.e. high fat and refined carbohydrates).”

7. Move up the festivities This may not be for everyone, but I love it. In recent years, I plan my holiday dinners earlier in the evening or late afternoon. I find that by doing this, there is less time spent on loading up on appetizers and cocktails before dinner and it is a way that people seem to combine lunch and dinner into one larger meal.

Guests also seem happy to be able to get home at a decent hour too.

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[ FAMILY ]

Ten Steps to Unconditional Love

by Dr. Laura Markham We all know that children require unconditional love to thrive. But how many of us feel capable of giving it? We can’t, quite simply, give something we don’t have inside. Loving your child starts with loving yourself.

Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone.

You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.

So if you didn’t have a perfect childhood, if you’re more cranky than compassionate, should you just give up on being a good parent? No. Research shows that we can always grow inside, to become more loving to ourselves and others. In fact, the fastest path to stretching our hearts is parenting, because our love for our child motivates us to grow. (You sacrifice and work harder for your child than for your own well-being, right?)

It takes work, but the good news is that as our hearts get bigger, we’re not just better parents. We’re happier people.

Healing your ability to love takes daily attention and commitment, but it’s quite do-able. Think of it like playing the piano. In the beginning, a scale is an effort. But in a year, you can play a sonata. Here’s how.

1. Forgive yourself for not being perfect. Unconditional love means dropping that list of ways you need to be different before you’re good enough in your

34 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | NOVEMBER 2014

[ FAMILY ] own eyes. Perfection is the lowest standard anyone can have. We aren’t going for perfect. We’re going for love! What your child needs is your full presence and appreciation, not perfection. Sometimes you’ll make mistakes. As long as you can forgive yourself, you’ll find a way to repair those little rifts with your child, which will strengthen your relationship and your child’s resilience. Start by changing how you talk to yourself.

Every time you notice self-criticism, remind yourself that your goal isn’t perfection. Your goal is loving yourself and others.

2. Unconditional love is like a muscle. It needs a daily workout.Compassion is the heavy lifting of life. You know it takes daily practice to build that kind of muscle.

Why should your heart be an exception? Commit to treating yourself and everyone around you with compassion. Every time you notice harshness creeping in, toward yourself, your child, or anyone else, stop and find something to appreciate about that person. No exceptions. If you could choose compassion in every interaction with everyone, including yourself, you’d be enlightened by the end of the month.

3. Want to wake up jazzed about the day ahead?

Commit to radical self-care. We all know that when we can stay connected to our internal fountain of wellbeing, it overflows onto our children and we’re more patient, loving, joyful parents. To love our children unconditionally, we need to keep our own pitchers full so we aren’t running on empty. And yet, most of us live in constant stress, which depletes us. What if you committed to taking care of yourself and staying centered? First, because life is short, and you deserve it. And second, so you can be the peaceful, patient, encouraging parent your child deserves. Would that be a radical act? Whose life is it, anyway? And at the end of it, who will have been responsible for how you felt -- and acted -- during it?

4. Forgive your parents for being human. When your child pushes your buttons, do you ever wonder when those buttons were built into your psyche? That’s right -- during your own childhood. If you want to liberate your heart, you have to heal your old wounds. Maybe you got the message that you were too needy, too angry, too selfish, too lazy, too careless...too childish?

Our parents, however well-intentioned, were products of their time, and most of us didn’t get the message that we were wholly loved, human imperfections and

all. It’s time to let that go. Letting your childhood family determine your happiness level is like letting the waiter eat your dinner.

5. Heal Your Heart, Heal Your Life. The only way out is through. Sorry, but that means breathing your way through that unfinished business. Find an hour by yourself. Light a candle and sit quietly. Reach out to that child inside you who still feels unloved and feel his or her pain. Breathe. Reassure that child that he or she is completely lovable and loved. Be brave. Once you get through that pain you’ve been avoiding, you won’t need to hang on to any kind of anger. It may arise --you’re still human! -- but you’ll be able to notice it and let it go, rather than acting on it. That’s why forgiving others heals us. It isn’t about them. It’s about consciously feeling our pain -- accepting it instead of fighting against it -- so we don’t need to hang on to our anger as a defense.

6. Accept your child unconditionally. Unconditional love isn’t just what we feel. It’s what the object of our love feels: love without strings attached. That means our child doesn’t have to be, or do, anything in particular to earn our love. We love her exactly as she is. A tall order, since most of us have a little list of things we want “fixed” in our child. The trick is to commit to seeing things from your child’s point of view.

Suddenly, misbehavior is comprehensible, forgivable.

Challenging character traits evoke tenderness.

Compassion comes easily. The blocks to love melt away, and our love becomes unconditional.

7. Commit to parenting from love, not anger. It’s easy to love unconditionally when our child is being delightful and we feel good. But how many of us can stay lovingly connected to our child while we set limits on behavior? How many of us can resist the temptation to lash out at our child when we feel justifiably angry?

How many of us can love our child through his upsets?

A teachable moment is always when both people are receptive and positive. Anger and punishment are never based in love. Maybe it’s time to move your game up a notch and commit to parenting from love, not from anger. Notice I didn’t say this would be easy. But every time you manage your anger instead of spilling it onto your child, it gets easier. Within a few months, you’ll realize you don’t lose your temper anymore. And that your relationship with your child has completely transformed as a result.

NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 35

[ FAMILY ] 8. Lighten Up and Show Up. Have you made mistakes as a parent? Join the club. They aren’t mistakes if you use them to guide you toward a better way in the future. You don’t have to have all the answers. You don’t have to fix your child or the situation. All you have to do is stay present and choose love instead of fear. Your child doesn’t even need the red cup, or whatever he’s crying for; he needs your loving acceptance of him, complete with all his tangled up feelings. His disappointment, rage, and grief? They’re all ok, part of a rich emotional life, and they will all pass if you accept them, and him. Just love him through it.

9. Take the High Road. You know what the high road is.

When you’re feeling really good, nothing fazes you.

You respond to your child’s foibles with patience, understanding, and a sense of humor. You know what the low road is, too. It’s when you’re stressed, exhausted, resentful. When you insist on having it your way or proving you were right. When your fuse is so short that you feel justified in having your own little tantrum. When you’re in the grip of fight or flight emotions and your child looks like the enemy. Nobody

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takes the high road all the time. But there are ways to live that help you find yourself on it more and more.

10. Practice Makes Perfect. Healing our ability to love unconditionally requires daily practice as we catch the curve balls of life. Nothing has to be different for you to love yourself exactly as you are. There is no such thing as a perfect parent. But it is entirely possible to be a better parent every day. After all, you have live-in teachers and 24/7 lessons! Use your mistakes to your advantage. They aren’t mistakes if you learn from them, they’re life lessons in your parenting PhD. That’s why spiritual masters call it a Practice! At first, it seems impossible. But it’s like playing the piano. In the beginning, scales are a challenge. But if you practice, in a year you can play a sonata. Just keep practicing, bringing awareness to every interaction, finding that moment of freedom between the stimulus (your child’s behavior) and your own reaction. Noticing is what gives us a choice next time. The miracle of one foot in front of the other, in the right direction, is that one day you look around, and all the scenery is different. Enjoy the journey.

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[ SEASONAL ]

BEST TOYS FOR KIDS

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Grow N’ Glow Terrarium

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Timeline

By Asmodee Editions Which happened first, the Salem Witch Trials or the foundation of Harvard College? Was Watergate before Woodstock? Sure, it’s easy to know whether the discovery of America came before the Deepwater Horizon oil spill, but how well can you remember everything that happened in between?

[ SEASONAL ]

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Snap Circuits Motion is the third in a series of specialized Snap Circuits that teaches kids – of all ages – the science of energy through physics and electronics. Requires 4 AA batteries (not included).

By ThinkFun This gravity powered logic maze is sure to put your visual perception and reasoning skills to the test. 60 challenges, ranging in difficulty, will give you plenty of creative building time while you maneuver the maze in your mind!

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NOVEMBER 2014 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 39

[ FAMILY ]

How to Get the MOST out of Your Kids Lunchbox

by Christi Johnston I believe in packing a lunch full of items you know your children will eat, versus ones you want them to eat. While I always strive to pack a healthy lunch, I build it around the healthy foods that I know my daughter enjoys and will look forward to eating. It only took one or two visits to my daughter’s school cafeteria to realize how much food kids throw away.

When possible, pack foods cut up and ready to go, into a single container.

This makes it easy for kids to open and start eating, instead of messing with multiple wrappers or containers. Lunch time is short, and younger children sometimes take a little while to open packaging.

Have some fun with it. Cookie cutters are a fabulous tool when packing lunch.

For a child who doesn’t like to eat crusts, a cookie cutter can take the crusts off in a matter of seconds, and even give a fun shape to the sandwich. I also use cookie cutters for cheese and fruits, melon works especially well with small cookie cutters.

I keep my lunch packing tools, storage containers and our lunchbox silverware all together in one place, to speed up lunch packing. I also keep a pad of post it notes handy, perfect for adding a little note. Sometimes it’s nice to know I can wish her good luck on her test or tell her I’m thinking about her, through that little lunchtime note.

Remember, school lunch packing won’t last forever! While I certainly have my days where I think I can’t pack one more lunch, I remember how quickly childhood passes, and then I start making some sandwiches.

Christi Johnstone is the baker, blogger and photographer behind the blog, Love From The Oven. As a busy mom to two daughters, she understands wanting to do it all, but not having the time, and tries to share recipes, tips and tricks that makes time spent in the kitchen quick, easy and fun. Christi’s first book, SMART COOKIE, has just been released, and shows readers how to transform store bought cookies into amazing treats! It’s available now through Amazon and Barnes & Noble.

Everyone knows the best part about making cookies is the decorating! Smart Cookie includes 50 simple and fun cookie creations made entirely from easy-to-find store-bought ingredients—no baking required! Projects include rainbows, monster pops, balloons, robots, ladybugs, and much more, with lots of ideas for tips, techniques, packaging, and displays.

From birthdays to graduations and baby showers to Christmas, there is a cookie in this book for any and all occasions. If you love to decorate cookies, are looking for imaginative ways to celebrate holidays and special moments, this book is for you!

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[ HEALTH ]

Surviving The Holidays With Food Sensitivities

by Kim Rice For most people, thoughts of holiday family or social gatherings conjure up warm feelings of excitement and anticipation. For many of us with food sensitivities, the thought of a big buffet riddled with potential personal landmines can cause anxiety and frustration. Many decide to decline invitations because they don’t want to deal with the hassle or the constant interrogation from family or friends about their eating/lifestyle choices. In addition, having a child with food sensitivities can take the challenge to a whole new level. A child with food restrictions can end up feeling very isolated in social situations since food is such an intricate part of our social fabric. Studies indicate that suicide among youths with celiac disease, an autoimmune condition in which gluten (the protein molecule of wheat, rye and barley) must be 100% removed from the diet for the rest of their life, is much higher than youths without this diagnosis.

Kim Rice is a certified health coach and gluten practitioner.

She is also a mother of three residing in Pleasanton, California where she writes and speaks both locally and nationally about nutrition and its effect on families’ health and brain function. In her practice she assists parents of children with special needs, such as autism, ADHD and celiac disease, to implement dietary changes for optimized health, brain function and behavior. www.thrivinggf.com

One of the best ways to control the anxiety associated with social eating and the constant borage of holiday food is to take control of the situation. Below are some tips that may help: 1. Learn how to make modified versions of your family’s favorite holiday meals minus the offending foods. It may take some research to figure out how to accomplish the same taste and texture but in most cases it can be done.

This is key when removing wheat from baked products. It can take some experimenting to find the right mix of non-gluten flours and other additives to accomplish a similar result. Many gluten-free and food allergen bloggers have already done this for you so be sure to do some research on the internet to see if someone has already transitioned a similar recipe to your allergen-free version.

2. If you have a child with food restrictions, try to make their replacement item as special as possible so they feel proud of what they are eating. Make your child’s gluten-free cupcake the envy of the birthday party. This can help soften the blow of not getting a piece of the birthday cake.

3. Encourage your child to become involved in their food choices. They are more likely to feel ownership of their food if they have played a key role in the decision-making and may be more willing to try new foods. You may find that they are just as happy with a gluten-free chocolate chip muffin rather than a sugary frosted cupcake.

4. For holiday and other social events, call ahead to find out what food will be served. Preferably several weeks before. Be free of calling on the

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[ HEALTH ] way to the event to discuss your food restrictions. It will just increase anger and fear. When you do call, discuss with the host your food sensitivities in a loving and supportive way. Refrain from being apologetic about the situation. Just be clear, factual and helpful.

Explain the level of severity so that they completely understand the situation and how careful you might need to be. If you or your family members have to worry about cross contamination, such as with celiac disease or potential anaphylactic shock allergies, send your host some information on precautions that can be taken to keep everyone safe. Offer to bring some dishes that your family likes. Bring enough that your family could make a meal out of the dishes just incase you arrive at the event and don’t feel comfortable eating the food offered.

5. Suggest to your host a separate buffet table for those dishes that are gluten or nut-free. This way it is very clear which food is safe and could potentially eliminate cross contamination of crumbs or serving spoons or forks that can jump around the table onto different dishes.

6. Request to the host that everyone bringing food to the event also bring an ingredient list for each dish. This way everyone is clear about what they are consuming.

7. If you have family or friends that you dine with regularly, it could be helpful to provide articles or other information on your food sensitivity and proper cross contamination procedures so they fully understand your condition and the importance of keeping safe.

10. Another issue to consider is school holiday parties and various sport or other recreational activities that may include some holiday celebrations with food. Talking to the coach, teacher or instructor from the beginning letting them know about your child’s food restrictions and requesting to be notified about anything to do with food can help avoid stressful situations.

Volunteering to be a special events coordinator will allow you to have a voice in the planning process.

11. Opting to stay home the first few holidays until you get a handle on your new lifestyle can be empowering.

Learning to deal with your food restrictions at home can be the first step in reclaiming your health and safety. When you’ve got it down, you can then venture out into the social arena and handle any challenges you encounter there while remaining firm on your feet.

Learning of food sensitivities for you or your child can be a blessing. It can help you take control of your life and empower you to look and feel your best. Take on the holidays like you take on your health…with power and enthusiasm.

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8. Handling family that does not understand or support your lifestyle choices can be a challenge. It’s okay to be honest with people. Especially in the beginning when you are dealing with a new diagnosis such as celiac disease or diabetes. Explain to your family that it is a challenging adjustment and you are getting used to the new lifestyle and would like to be free of discussing it for the time being.

9. If all else fails, considering hosting family gatherings at your house for the first few times. Buy or make all the food yourself so you know it is safe and encourage family and friends to bring side dishes and desserts which you can avoid if necessary.

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