Active Family Magazine | July 2022

JULY 2022

BUILDING AN EVENING ROUTINE FOR KIDS OF DIFFERENT AGES

BEACH Product Guide

FUN IN THE SUN WITH THESE AWESOME BEACH PRODUCTS

HOTEL SPOTLIGHT Allegretto Vineyard Resort

Volume 9 / Issue 97

How Teachers and Parents Can Work Together to Combat Summer Slide

[ PARENTING ] Am I Really Going to Have to Ask You Again?

4

30

How To Avoid Losing Your Cool With Your Kids

Amicable Divorce Q&A

12

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32

Nine Valuable Skills and Lasting Benefits Kids Develop at Summer Camp

[ TRAVEL ]

22

7

18

Beach Guide

[ SUMMER CAMPS ]

Hotel Spotlight — Allegretto Vineyard Resort

Building An Evening Routine For Kids Of Different Ages

[ PRODUCTS WE LOVE ]

Summer Camp Guide

26

7

14

Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area

Publisher/Editor Tracie Brown Vollgraf

Travel Editor Elizabeth Kang ekang@activefamilymag.com

Social Media Manager and Sales Manager Trista Cambra-Flanders

Design/Production Teresa Agnew Craft

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Contributing Authors Christine Carter, PhD Dr. Susan Stiffelman Dr. Laura Markham Elizabeth Kang Stratford Schools Dr. Pamela Roggeman Alphonse Provinziano

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709 Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note Here we are, smack dab in the middle of summer! We hope you are enjoying the warm weather, family time and hopefully a grown-up escape. If you haven’t already carved out some “mommy and daddy time” or a girl/guy getaway sans kids, definitely turn to page 7 and explore the Allegretto Vineyard Resort. We promise as soon as you read about this amazing destination, you will want to jump in the car, drive the short three hours to Paso Robles and discover the amazingness all on your own! We loved every minute spent at Allegretto Vineyard Resort and cannot wait to go back!

If you are headed to the sea, then you must check out our favorite beach products on page 14. Be sure to follow our Instagram (@activefamilymagazine) and our Facebook page (@activefamilymag) as we are launching a FABULOUS Santa Cruz Beach Vacay Giveaway soon and will be including some of these awesome products!

Enjoy the last few months of summer!

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

[ PARENTING ]

Christine Carter, Ph.D.*, is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of “RAISING HAPPINESS: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.” She teaches online happiness classes that help parents bring more joy into their own lives and the lives of their children, and she writes an award-winning blog for *Greater Good* (www.greatergoodparents.org).

Am I Really Going to Have to Ask You Again?

by Christine Carter, Ph.D. I asked my daughter to help me make dinner the other night; soon after that, I got caught on the phone. When I finally emerged from my office 40 minutes later, I found that Fiona had already prepared our whole meal—the table was set, and dinner was waiting. I was beside myself with delight.

Few things are more satisfying than having someone exceed our expectations.

But around the house, it seems like more often we’re annoyed or disappointed when someone fails to meet those expectations—when, once again, our spouse is late, or the kids didn’t take out the garbage, or someone failed to help clean up, or wasn’t really listening while we were baring our soul, or doesn’t really “get” us. Living with others is, in many ways, living in a constant state of unmet expectations.

Fortunately, we can develop constructive ways of responding when our needs aren’t being met by our spouses and our children—techniques that increase the odds that they will be met in the future. Here are three alternatives to nagging—or harboring resentment—when your expectations aren’t met.

4 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2022

[ PARENTING ] 1) Do nothing. Sometimes we just need to acknowledge

someone insist you do something (“You HAVE to help me

a disappointment, then let it go without taking further

with the lunches in the morning!! I have a cold and a full

action. When Jill Bolte Taylor, a neuroscientist with loads

time job, and I can’t wake up any earlier or I’ll just get

of first-hand experience and scientific knowledge about

SICKER!!!!”) or gently enlist your help?

real-life ecstasy, feels upset or uncomfortable, she just looks at her watch and waits 90 seconds before letting

3) Pick a Fight… but in a constructive way. Again, this is

herself think about whatever upset her. Loads of research

about finding more constructive ways to express what

on “rumination” suggests that people who dwell on some

you want. So even though you might want to punish

hurt or distress are way more likely to feel depressed or

that guy who didn’t get you so much as a card on your

dissatisfied with their lives. Sometimes we make ourselves

birthday, making him feel as bad as you do won’t make

feel worse—we prolong pain and frustration—by thinking

you feel better, and it won’t make your next birthday

too much about our disappointments.

more promising.

2) Inspire the person who disappointed you. Even though

Make your disappointment known by starting off on a

we sometimes really want to unleash on a spouse who

positive note. Yes, you read that right. In fact, begin with

left the house without so much as clearing his or her

a statement of appreciation.

breakfast dishes, whining and criticizing (or yelling, as the case may be) is not going to make your partner (or

“I really appreciate how much time you’ve been

teenager, or pre-schooler) really want to help the next

spending with me in the evenings. I love going for a walk

time. Negativity rarely inspires others.

with you at night.”

The “ERN” method, something I devised long ago from

That gets your cardless-wonder’s attention, and makes

piles of academic journal articles to motivate my kids

him or her open to listening to what you have to say.

to do boring but necessary tasks, also works well with

Then, staying as calm and positive as possible, make your

adults. The gist of it is to use Empathy, Rationale, and

feelings known with a good ol’ “I” statement.

Non-controlling language to get what we want, as those are the things that research shows are most motivating to

“I felt really lonely and disappointed and actually a little

people. It might go something like this:

bit abandoned when you decided we didn’t need to celebrate my birthday. It hurt that you didn’t even get

Empathy: “I know you are anxious about your upcoming

me a card.”

review and need to get into work earlier these days.”

Rationale: “I need more help on school days because

Finally, tell that disappointing partner what you need—

Max has been late to school three times this week. I won’t

really clearly and specifically, explain what he or she

be able to shake this cough if I keep getting up so early.

can do to make it up to you. What exactly are your

I’m doing my best, but I can’t do it all by myself.”

expectations? I recommend making it an easy win; go for something more ambitious the next time around.

Non-controlling language (or “not-being-so-bossy”): “It would be great if you could help me tomorrow morning.

If we must ask for what we need—which clearly we do,

Is that a possibility?”

since the people we live with tend to have very poor mind reading skills—it behooves us to ask in a way that

Admittedly, this is much harder than nagging your

will get results. Good luck, and report back with what

spouse and kids. But think about it: Would you rather

works for you!

JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 5

[ TRAVEL ]

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[ TRAVEL ]

HOTEL SPOTLIGHT: Allegretto Vineyard Resort

by Elizabeth Kang

Allegretto Vineyard Resort — nestled in the heart of California’s Central Valley wine country — is the perfect escape for your next weekend getaway, whether with family or friends. Located in charming Paso Robles, this old world, Tuscan-inspired resort is a scenic refuge with 5-star service, minus the 5-star price tag. Come for the world-class wine, stay for the incredible accommodations. And don’t forget to bring Fido, because Allegretto is pet-friendly, too. Read on to discover what makes Allegretto stand out from the rest.

From wine and olive oil tastings to art and vineyard tours, there are plenty of delightful diversions at Allegretto. Be sure to browse the daily activity guide to know exactly when that morning yoga class starts and when the evening’s live music begins.

JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 7

[ TRAVEL ]

Resort Highlights WINE TASTINGS — Booking a wine-tasting is a must-do while staying on the property.

Traveling with children? Not a problem, as kids can play in the spacious outdoor courtyard while parents sip varietals of the resort’s very own label on the outdoor patio. The wine is served by knowledgable and passionate staff, and is produced from vineyards surrounding the hotel.

SPA SERVICES — Spa Allegretto is a serene respite, offering a gorgeous, relaxing space to unwind and rejuvenate. The spa menu is robust and well priced, with signature massages, facials and body treatments, as well as couple’s treatments available.

ART TOURS — Whether you schedule an art tour, or simply enjoy exploring on your own, be sure to carve out time during your stay to take in Allegretto’s vast collection of carefully chosen artwork, sculptures and fountains.

The resort is chock-full of eye-catching pieces from around the globe. Outdoors, an interactive “Sonic Labyrinth” allows guests to experience “a distinctive series of sounds created by wind instruments,” activated by motion sensors as they stroll.

DINING— Cello Restaurant & Bar serves mouth-watering, fresh-Californian cuisine and, naturally, offers a distinctive wine list chock full of the regions best bottles.

Serving breakfast, lunch and dinner, Cello offers a seasonal menu of the best local produce, meat and seafood in a gorgeous Mediterranean-inspired dining room. Many guests, however, opt to take advantage of Paso Robles’s pleasant warm weather and sit on the outdoor patio. With a thoughtful seasonal rotation of salads, pastas, steak and seafood entrees, Cello’s food and service is top-notch. The restaurant also offers a 8 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2022

[ TRAVEL ]

children’s menu, as well as a menu designed for canine companions.

POOL TIME — Interspersed with gorgeous fountains, mature olive groves and Italian-inspired statues, the beautifully maintained grounds of Allegretto is a treat to behold. The sparkling outdoor pool area, however, is the main attraction, especially if traveling with children. Comfortable cabanas, poolside service and temperature-controlled waters make for a lovely, relaxing afternoon.

OUTDOOR GAMES — More outdoor fun include bocce ball courts, a ping pong table and a giant outdoor chess board to play games. *If staying with children, request a room near the pool, where you can easily go to and fro from your room’s private back patio.

JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 9

[ TRAVEL ]

Paso Robles Fun ROBERT HALL WINERY — Boasting a stateof-the-art winemaking facility, tasting room and underground wine cavern, Robert Hall Winery is a renowned, well-respected winery not just in Paso Robles but worldwide.

Consider yourself lucky if you can score a winery tour and tasting led by Houston Smith, known to be a “guru” on wine pairings and staunch spokesperson of the winery, as well as everything Paso Robles.

EBERLE WINERY — This family-owned winery is a rare gem, offering complimentary wine tastings, dog-friendly facilities, and outstanding Cabernet Sauvignon. Sitting on 64 pristine acres, it’s also a lovely space to enjoy a picnic, along with a game of bocce or corn hole. Adding to the charm, two black Standard Poodles — Sangiovese and Barbera — greet guests at the entrance.

SENSORIO — You can’t visit Paso Robles without checking out its one-of-a-kind outdoor art exhibit, Bruce Munro: Light At Sensorio. This eye-popping exhibit comes alight in the evening, when a 15-acre field of 58,800+ color-changing technicolor lights transform the rolling hills of Paso Robles into an awe-inspiring, otherworldly scene.

GOLF AT HUNTER RANCH — Looking to get in a little tee time while away? Hunter Ranch is your best bet, offering 18 gorgeously designed, walkable holes. Named by Golf Digest as “The best course on the Central Coast,” Hunter Ranch also boasts a restaurant serving breakfast and lunch seven days a week.

ESTRELLA WARBIRD AIR MUSEUM — Any aviation aficionado in your party will be thrilled at the chance of visiting this 13-acre air museum. Specializing in restored and 10 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2022

[ TRAVEL ]

preserved Military aircraft, the Estrella Warbird Air Museum was founded over 25 years ago with just two planes, and is now one of the fastest-growing nonprofit museums on the west coast.

With more than 200 wineries, a swoon-worthy resort, a charming downtown and plenty to see and do, Paso Robles is the perfect get-out-of-town escape!

ALLEGRETTO VINEYARD RESORT PASO ROBLES 2700 Buena Vista Drive, Paso Robles, California 93446 www.allegrettovineyardresort.com 805-369-2500 info@allegrettoresort.com JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 11

[ PARENTING ]

Susan Stiffelman, Huffington Post Parent’s weekly advice columnist (“Parent Coach”), is an engaging speaker whose presentations leave audiences upbeat, entertained and fortified with practical strategies that will make an immediate and significant difference in their day to day lives. Susan is a licensed Marriage, Family and Child therapist, a credentialed teacher, and a highly regarded parenting coach. Instead of offering standard, scripted advice to parents about how to control their children, Susan focuses on helping them be what she calls the Captain of the ship their children need and naturally want to cooperate with, confide in, and respect. Those who attend Susan’s presentations routinely email her office with thanks, and a request to come back again!

How To Avoid Losing Your Cool With Your Kids

by Susan Stiffelman, MFT I love my kids, but I yell at them much more often than I’d like. What can I do to keep my cool when they act badly?

This is one of my most frequently asked parenting questions!

No matter how much we love our babies, the reality is that family life isn’t always smooth sailing. Our children resist our requests, speak disrespectfully, or tune us out, and our tempers may get the best of us. We don’t want to yell, or

12 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2022

[ PARENTING ] threaten to ground them for a year, but when our heart is

overstimulated.

pounding and our blood is boiling, it can seem impossible to stay levelheaded.

3. Avoid turning on “Mom TV.” Sometimes kids push our buttons for sheer entertainment value (“I wonder what

Here are four tips to help you find your cool when you’ve

Mom will do if I act like I didn’t hear her?”) Walk away —

temporarily lost it:

don’t reward your kids with a command performance when they provoke you on purpose.

1. STOP. As soon as you realize you’re sliding down a slippery slope, call a time out — for yourself. Hitting the

4. Take care of yourself. If you find that anger is frequently

pause button will help you gather your wits and regain

getting the best of you, take a look at whether you’ve

your footing.

been burning the candle at both ends. When you take care of yourself physically and emotionally, you’ll find it

2. Don’t take things personally. If you convince yourself

easier to handle the ups and downs of parenting.

that your children are deliberately trying to upset you,

If you’d like practical support to reduce the yelling,

you’re likely to feel disrespected, underappreciated

negotiating and bribing, I can help you become the

and mad. Remember that children sometimes do things

calm, connected Captain of the ship for your kids. Please

they shouldn’t simply because they are tired, cranky or

check out my PWPS 6 Week Intensive course.

JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 13

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JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 15

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JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 17

[ PARENTING ]

Building An Evening Routine For Kids Of Different Ages Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone.

You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.

by Dr. Laura Markham Question Hi Dr. Laura, I have difficulty setting a routine with my two children who have a 7 year age difference and are of different sexes. How can I incorporate a routine that will work for everybody? I grew up without routine and am used to doing things as they come spur of the moment but I want to change this as I understand it builds self confidence in children. Help!

Answer Routines do indeed help kids feel more secure. They also have lots of other benefits, like helping kids feel more comfortable cooperating (because they don't feel so pushed around), helping kids learn good self-care habits, and developing responsibility. Here's a whole article on why routines are terrific for kids.

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[ PARENTING ] Bedtimes are a great place to begin because they

you also helps them connect with you, so they're more

include real rewards for your kids -- time you spend with

cooperative and can handle you turning your attention

each of them. That means kids will be more accepting as

to getting a younger sibling to bed. And laughing with

you introduce the new routine. You can explain to them

each other helps siblings bond.

that you want to make sure you get "quality time" with each of them every night.

6:45pm- 7:15pm Bathtime for the three year old, followed by brushing

How do you figure out your desired routine? Start by

teeth. During this time, you'll need to find something

deciding what time you want each child in bed. You

for your older child to do, and to check in frequently.

shouldn't have to wake them up in the morning. If you

This is usually a good wind-down time for your older

do, then it means they aren't getting enough sleep.

child to play quietly in his room, after he has packed his

So keep moving bedtime earlier until they wake up by

packpack for the next day. TV and games are a bad

themselves in the morning.

idea because screens (including phones and ipads) reduce melatonin in the bloodstream, which is important

Once you have your target bedtime for each child,

to help your child relax and move toward sleep. It's much

count backwards, thinking about what each of them will

better if homework is already completed before dinner,

be doing at each point in time. Because your kids are

but if not, then this is the time to complete it, if he can do

different ages, they will be doing different things, but your

it relatively independently. Otherwise, he'll need to do it

family as a whole can still have a routine.

on the floor outside the bathroom while you bathe the little one!

Then talk with your kids about the routine. What do they think? Have you forgotten anything? Discussing

7:15pm-7:40pm

the routine with kids helps them "own" the routine and

• Ten year old showers, brushes teeth, pjs, sets out clothes

reduces power struggles. Give them as much choice as possible.

and packed back back for tomorrow. (To remember his list, he will probably need a sign on the wall.)

• Three year old -- Pjs, setting out clothes for tomorrow

Finally, print your new schedule out and post a copy on

and story time with you.

the bathroom door near their bedrooms, and another copy on the refrigerator. Add photos of your kids doing

7:40pm-8pm

each activity. Most kids like to be involved in taking the

• Ten year old reads in bed.

photos and gluing them on the schedule, which again

• Lights out for the three year old. This gives you time

makes it "their schedule" instead of just "your schedule."

to lie with your child for a few minutes in the dark, snuggling, before you extract yourself, and to do pre-

Your family schedule might look something like this.

emptive check-ins every few minutes after you leave the room, so your three year old feels safe and can fall

6pm-6:30pm- Family Dinner

asleep. This timing assumes that your child gets up at 7am, and still naps, so 11 hours of sleep is about right.

6:30pm-6:45pm- Everyone clears the table together so there can then be five minutes of "roughhousing. " Any

8pm- 8:30pm

physical activity that gets kids giggling will reduce the

Your ten year old, presuming he'll be getting up at 7am,

level of stress hormones in their bloodstreams and make it

still needs ten hours of sleep, so lights need to be off

easier for them to fall asleep. (Just don't do this too close

by 8:30pm to give him half an hour to fall asleep. Use

to "lights out " or they'll be too revved up.) Laughing with

the half hour between 8 and 8:30pm to connect with JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 19

[ PARENTING ] him. Read him a story -- Yes, even if he can read! It's

5. Having a routine with times attached keeps you from

great bonding, good for his intellectual development,

being the bad-guy bedtime cop. It's just the schedule.

and more restful for him than reading to himself. Lie

6. Having a set bedtime as a youngster helps your kids,

on his bed with him and talk about his day. Snuggle,

once they become teens, to think in terms of how much

sing a song, say prayers if that's part of your tradition,

sleep they need to take good care of their bodies. They

and linger for a few minutes after lights out. As Rabbi

are more likely to stay well-rested.

Sandy Sasso says, in the dark together is when you see children's souls.

7. You get to check in with each child separately, which really helps if you've been apart all day. You have more

THE GREAT THINGS ABOUT A BEDTIME ROUTINE LIKE THIS: 1. You get special time to connect with each child alone, that your kids can count on. This remains important as kids get older, because it gives the ten year old an opportunity to raise difficult issues and feel heard.

2. Each child gets the security of a safe, predictable, routine at bedtime, which studies have shown is associated with better sleep for everyone in the family, as well as happier, more secure, kids.

chance of hearing what's bothering them. And you get that essential one-on one time with your older child, which keeps you connected at that difficult moment when he's heading into the tween years -- and peer issues can crowd out his relationship with you, even though he desperately needs to stay anchored to you.

8. Bedtime routines that center around baths and reading calm kids and allow them to fall asleep faster so they don't toss and turn. (Many kids say they aren't tired

3. As your kids get older, they learn self care: to bathe themselves and brush their own teeth, because you have helped them develop the habit.

when they are actually overly wound-up.) A bedtime routine that allows a child to stay up longer because he is reading creates the habit of reading. If a computer is nearby, most kids won't read. But computers and TV

4. Packing a backpack and setting out clothes makes

suppress melatonin, the sleep hormone, so kids should

kids more competent and independent by teaching

definitely not use them in the hour before bed. Reading

them to think about the next day. This is invaluable, not

relaxes kids, allows melatonin to flood their bodies (make

just because it makes mornings calmer. It also allows

sure their lights are not too bright), and is an easy way to

them to suddenly remember things they have forgotten

raise kids' IQs and school grades.

-- that tomorrow they need a change of clothes because the class is painting a mural, or that they forgot

Give your new routine a couple of months to get

about a homework assignment. (Of course, if they

established. Then you'll be ready to tackle mornings, so

remember these things at bedtime frequently, it's a sign

everyone gets out the door peacefully. You'll be amazed

that your after-school routine needs some attention!)

at how much more smoothly everything runs!

20 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2022

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[ PARENTING ]

Nine Valuable Skills and Lasting Benefits Kids Develop at Summer Camp

by Stratford Schools Summer camp is exciting, thrilling, and brimming with new experiences, so let the fun and learning begin!

If you attended summer camp growing up, perhaps you remember being apprehensive at fi rst, yet by the time you returned home, you realized that camp helped you learn and grow as you tried new things, developing more confidence and autonomy at the same time.

The same is true of camps today, and there are summer camp options that you probably never imagined when you were a kid. The great thing about summer camp is that it’s not only an excellent way for kids to spend part of their summer, it sends them home with new skills that are valuable right now, and that will serve them well into adulthood.

Why is Summer Camp Important?

Summer camp is important because it often provides a structured opportunity 22 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2022

[ PARENTING ] for children to grow. Kids go from home to school to

Decision-Making – Summer camp is an outstanding

extracurriculars, with each environment contributing to

experience for teaching kids independence, and a big

their development. In addition, camp provides another

part of independence is making well-informed decisions.

unique venue for growth, allowing kids to become

Camp environments are structured, offer options, and

independent and self-confident, while socializing,

help kids understand situations, so they learn about the

making new friends, and learning new skills.

pros and cons of decision-making in safe surroundings.

What are some of the Benefi ts of Summer Camp?

Confidence – With activity and growth comes success

Teamwork – Teamwork may be a part of some school

or failure. Whether it is basketball or 3D modeling, each

activities and you can teach your children the value of

activity comes with its own set of mini milestones and

teamwork at home, however camp takes it to an entirely

tests. Some of these activities might be brand new to

new level. Children quickly learn that they simply have

your child, while others could be extensions of what they

more fun when they learn to work together as a team,

already know and love.

whether they’re writing computer code, playing sports or learning a new language.

Courage – It’s not easy for a child or their parents when it’s time to go to camp for the fi rst time. Yet at camp, kids

Leadership – Camp teaches children self-leadership,

learn so much about what they are capable of. Children

since they are responsible for basics like keeping track

have many opportunities to step out of their comfort

of their items, managing their time, and following a

zone and try new things, from new sports or activities to

routine. Many children who never thought of themselves

making new friends. Courage is like a muscle; it develops

as leaders discover that they have a real talent for

with repeated use and your child will be encouraged to

leadership at summer camp.

try new things, and rewarded for doing so.

Friendship-Building – Children who interact with like-

Appreciation and Gratitude – Let us not forget, time

minded peers are able to easily build friendships rooted

away from home helps kids appreciate home, their

in similar interests. These relationships are essentially

parents, their siblings, their belongings, a home cooked

networking opportunities – people to call on when it

meal and everything else that they might miss while at

comes time for a side project or maybe in the future,

camp.

starting a new business with the friend they met at summer camp!

As many of us reflect back on our summer camp experience, we might say that some of our fondest

Resilience – The moment a child faces a challenge,

memories were those sunny, summer camp experiences

without Mom or Dad around, and comes through like

that we had as we were growing up…preserving those

a champ is a moment when they learn and practice

simple, unplugged, childhood memories for a lifetime.

resilience. Summer camp is fi lled with opportunities for developing resilience, and as a result, your child will

And although your child may miss their phone, tablet,

come home with more confidence and self-regard.

or gaming system at fi rst, once they start exploring, interacting with their peers, engaging in a variety of

At camp, children often learn they’re stronger than they

activities, and having new adventures, they are sure to

give themselves credit for.

leave summer camp with stories, memories, friendships, and life lessons that, they too, will remember for a

Sportsmanship – Whether your child is playing board

lifetime.

games, learning how to cook, or participating in sports, they are taught the value of fair, generous behavior

Interested in learning more about our Summer@Stratford

toward others. Sportsmanship will benefit your child in

program? Visit us online at www.stratfordschools.com/

school and in the friendships they make.

summer.

JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 23

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Dante Gonzales 4532 Dublin Boulevard Dublin, CA 94568

925.230.0099 www.drdantegonzales.com

925.230.0099 www.drdantegonzales.com

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Summer Alameda County ALAMEDA Alameda School of Music 1307 High St. 510.769.0195 www.alamusic.org

Camp Bladium 800 West Tower Ave 510.814.4999 www.bladiumalameda.com/ youth-kids/kids-camps

BERKELEY Music Discovery Workshop 2005 Berryman St. 510.528.1725 www.sfems.org

St. John’s Camp Elmwood 2727 College Ave. 510.845.6830 www.stjohnsberkeley.org/ campelmwood

Sticky Art Lab 1682 University Ave. 510.981.1148 www.stickyartlab.com

City of Dublin 100 Civic Plaza 925.556.4500 www.ci.dublin.ca.us

Young Writers Camp UC Berkeley Campus 510.642.0971

Valley Christian School 7500 Inspiration Dr. 925.560.6270

www.bawpwritingcamp.org

www.ValleyChristianSchools.org

Green Stuff Summer Camp UC Berkeley Botanical Gardens 510.643.4832

Edge Gymnastics Training Center 6780 Sierra Court St. K 925.479.9904

www.botanicalgarden.berkeley.edu

www.edge-gymnastics.com

Lawrence Hall of Science UC Berkeley 510.642.5134

Kidz Kraftz Quail Creek Cir. 925.271.0015

www.lawrencehallofscience.org

www.kidzkraftz.com/camps

BERKELEY/ECHO LAKE

Tri-Valley YMCA 6693 Sierra Ln 925.263.4444

Berkeley Echo Lake Camp Lot #7 Echo Lakes Rd 530.659.7539 www.cityofberkeley.info/camps

CASTRO VALLEY Skye Valley Training Camp 10250 Crow Canyon Rd 925.858.8825 www.psi.lunariffic.com/~skyev0/

Sarah’s Science 21525 Knoll Way 510.581.3739 www.sarahscience.com

Camp Kee Tov 1301 Oxford St. 510.842.2372 www.campkeetov.org

Bee Best Learning 20394 San Miguel Ave. 510.728.2110 www.beebestlearning.com

Habitot 2065 Kittredge St. 510.647.1111 ext. 14 www.habitot.org/museum/ activities_camps.html

Monkey Business Camp 2880A Sacramento St. 510.540.6025

www.trivalley.ymcaeastbay.org

Extended Day Child Care 8435 Davona Dr. 925.829.4043 & 7997 Vomac Rd. 925.551.8170 7243 Tamarack Dr. 925.833.0127 & 5301 Hibernia Dr. 925.803.4154 & 3300 Antone Way 925.826.5538 www.extendeddaychildcare.com

Quarry Lane School 6363 Tassajara Rd. 925.829.8000

DUBLIN

www.quarrylane.org

East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 4651 Gleason Dr. 925.479.9670

FREMONT

www.eastbayspca.org/camp

www.monkeybusinesscamp.com

26 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2022

Learning Bee Summer Camp 39977 Mission Blvd.

510.226.8408 www.learningbeeusa.com

Ohlone for Kids 43600 Mission Blvd.

510.659.6000 www.ohlone.edu/org/ ohloneforkids

HAYWARD Hayward Area Recreation Park District (H.A.R.D.) Day Camps 510.881.6700 www.haywardrec.org

LIVERMORE Horizons East Equestrian Center 5111 Doolan Rd. 925.960.9696 www.showstables.com

Roy’s Magic Camp 2466 8th St. 925.455.0600 www.magiccamp.org

Camp Arroyo Taylor Family Foundation 5535 Arroyo Rd. 925.371.8401 www.ebparks.org/activities/ daycamps/parks_camp_arroyo

Saddle to Ride Topline Training, Inc. 4180 Greenville Rd. 925.858.3933 www.saddle2ride.com

Xtreme Force Dance Company 847 Rincon Ave. 925.455.6054 www.xtremeforcedanceco.com

Double Diamond Sports Academy 2272 Research Dr. 925.830.9765 www. doublediamondsportsacademy. com

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camps Valley Montessori 1273 N. Livermore Ave. 925.455.8021

MOCHA Summer Camp 1625 Clay St. 510.465.8770

Contra Costa County

www.valleymontessorischool.com

www.mocha.org

OAKLAND

PLEASANTON

Lakeshore Children’s Center 3534 Lakeshore Ave. 510.893.4048

Gingerbread Preschool 4333 Black Ave. 925.931.3430

City of Antioch Parks and Recreation 213 “F” St 925.776.7070

www.lakeshorechildrenscenter.org

www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us/services/ recreation/gb/gbhome.html

Urban Adventure Camp 5701 Cabot Dr. 510.339.0676 www.urbanadventurecamps.com

Extended Day Child Care 5199 Black Ave. 925.846.5519 www.extendeddaychildcare.com

East Bay SPCA Animal Camp 8323 Baldwin St. 510.569.0702 www.eastbayspca.org/camp

Quarry Lane School - East 3750 Boulder St. 925.846.9400 www.quarrylane.org

California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 4660 Harbord Dr. 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html

Oakland Summer ZooCamp 9777 Golf Links Rd. 510.632.9525 www.oaklandzoo.org

Lake Merritt Boating Center Youth Boating Camps 568 Bellevue Ave. 510.238.2196 www.sailoakland.com

Raskob Learning Institute 3520 Mountain Blvd.

510.436.1275 www.raskobinstitute.org

Kids N’ Dance 3840 Macarthur Blvd.

510.531.4400 www.kidsndance.com

Quarry Lane School - West 4444B Black Ave. 925.462.6300 www.quarrylane.org

ANTIOCH

City of Danville Camps 420 Front St. 925.314.3400 www.danville.ca.gov/Recreation/ Camps

www.ci.antioch.ca.us/Recreation

Four Stars Gymnastics Academy 1799 Vineyard Dr. 925.778.8650

Vision Tech Camps 117 Town & Country Dr. St. B 925.699.9602 www.visiontechcamps.com

Athenian Summer Programs at Athenian School 2100 Mt. Diablo Scenic Blvd 925.837.5375

www.fourstarsgym.com

CONCORD City of Concord Parks and Recreation 925.671.3404

www.athenian.org

www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps

Camp Concord in South Lake Tahoe 1000 Mt. Tallac Trailhead Rd South Lake Tahoe 530.541.1203

Yang Fan Academy 4160 Hacienda Dr. St. 100 925.699.4664

www.ci.concord.ca.us/recreation/ camp

www.yfacademy.org

Backyard Explorers Corner of Babel Ln & Cowell Rd. 925.671.3118

City of Pleasanton Summer Programs 200 Old Bernal Ave. 925.931.3436

DANVILLE

Color Bundles 301 Hartz Ave. #104 925.727.3137 www.colorbundles.com

Camp Brainy Bunch 741 Brookside Dr. 510.548.4800 www.campbrainybunch.com

Quest Therapeutic Camps Charlotte Wood Middle School 600 El Captain Dr. 925.743.2900 www.questcamps.com

www.cityofconcord.org/recreation/ summercamps/backyardexp.htm

www.ci.pleasanton.ca.us

Expressions Dance & Art 3015 Hopyard Rd. Ste. I 925.200.9908 www.expressions-dance-arts.com/

Young Ivy Academy 5460 Sunol Blvd (#3) 925.548.0188 www.youngivyacademy.com

Inspire Music Academy 2340 Santa Rita Rd. Ste. 7 925.461.3266 www.inspiremusicacademy.com

JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 27

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Summer LAFAYETTE California Shakespeare Theater Summer Conservatory 1000 Upper Happy Valley Rd 510.809.3293 www.calshakes.org/v4/educ/ summer_conservatories.html

Sienna Ranch 3232 Deer Hill Rd. 925.283.6311 www.siennaranch.net

Sherman Swim School 1075 Carol Ln. 925.283.2100 www.shermanswim.com

Kids N’ Dance 3369 Mt. Diablo 925.284.7388 www.kidsndance.com

www.frenchforfun.com

Lafayette Tennis Club 3125 Camino Diablo 925.937.2582 www.lafayettetennis.com

Husky House for Kids 3855 Happy Valley Rd. 925.283.7100 www.huskyhouseforkids.org/ summer-camp-programs

Lafayette Community Center Camps 500 Saint Mary’s Rd. 925.284.2232 www.lafayetterec.org

Roughing It Day Camp 1010 Oak Hill Rd. 925.283.3795 www.roughingit.com

BandWorks Summer Camp 28 Orinda Way 925.254.2445

Camp ARF for Kids 2890 Mitchell Dr. 925.256.1273

www.bandworks.com/summer_ orinda.php

www.youth.arf.net

Orinda Academy 19 Altarinda Rd. 925.478.4504

Merriewood Children’s Center 561 Merriewood Dr. 925.284.2121

www.orindaacademy.org

www.merriewood.org

www.campdoodles.com

MARTINEZ

PLEASANT HILL

John Muir Mountain Day Camp John Muir National Historic Site 925.680.8807

City of Pleasant Hill Camps 147 Gregory Ln 925.682.0896

www.johnmuirassociation.org/ muircamp/index.php

French For Fun 3381 Mt. Diablo Blvd 925.283.9822

ORINDA

Rancho Saguaro 1050 Pereira Rd. 925.788.5200 www.ranchosaguaro.com

MORAGA Gaels Summer Camp 1928 St Mary’s Rd. 925.631.4FUN www.smcgaels.com

Camp Saklan 1678 School St. 925.376.7900 www.saklan.org/about-us/campsaklan

OAKLEY City of Oakley Parks and Recreation 3231 Main St. 925.625.7044 www.ci.oakley.ca.us

Diamond Hills Sports Club 1510 Neroly Rd. 925.420.4575 www.sparetimeclubs.com

28 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2022

Camp Doodle 66 St. Stephens Dr.

www.pleasanthillrec.com

PITTSBURG City of Pittsburg Parks and Recreation 300 Presido Ln. 925.252.4842 www.ci.pittsburg.ca.us

SAN RAMON City of San Ramon Camps 2226 Camino Ramon 925.973.2500 www.ci.san-ramon.ca.us

School of Rock San Ramon 460 Montgomery Street 925.415.3340 510.207.9281 bit.ly/SORsanramoncamps

Adventure Day Camp Dorris-Eaton School One Annabel Lane 925.937.6500 www.adventuredaycamp.com

WALNUT CREEK Adventure Day Camp Seven Hills School 975 North San Carlos Dr. 925.937.6500 www.adventuredaycamp.com

Castle Rock Arabians 1350 Castle Rock Rd. 925.933.3701 www.castlerockarabians.com

City of Walnut Creek Summer Camps 1666 North Main St. 925.943.5899 www.walnut-creek.org

COPA STC 2640 Shadelands Dr. Walnut Creek, CA 925.357.8999 www.copastc.com

Lindsay Wildlife Museum Summer Science Camp 1931 First Ave. 925.935.1978 www.wildlife-museum.org

Multiple Locations The Growing Room Academy Various locations around the Bay Offers: 3,4 and 5 Day Camps 925.837.4392 www.thegrowingroom.org

Camp Rocks: Girl Scouts of Northern California Offered at 5 locations: San Rafael (Camp Bothin), Santa Cruz (Skylark Ranch), San Jose (Camp Metro Day Camp), North Lake Tahoe (Deer Lake), and the Sierra Nevada Mountains (Sugar Pine) 800.447.4475 ext. 2091 www.camprocks.org

[ SUMMER CAMP ]

Camps Mad Science Camp Offered at several local Recreation sites and Community Centers 925.687.1900 www.mtdiablo.madscience.org

Steve and Kate’s Camp Danville, Dublin, Fremont, Oakland, Walnut Creek and Berkeley 415.389.5437 www.steveandkatescamp.com

Lango Language Summer Camps Serving Alamo, Blackhawk, Brentwood, Briones, Canyon, Clayton, Concord, Danville, Martinez, Moraga, Orinda, Pacheco, Pittsburg, Pleasant Hill, San Ramon, Walnut Creek and surrounding regions 888.445.2646 www.langokids.com/parent/kidslanguage-summer-camps

Camp Galileo Alameda, Alamo, Berkeley, San Ramon, Walnut Creek, Fremont, Oakland, Lafayette and Orinda 510.595.7293

Club Sport Fremont, San Ramon, Pleasanton and Walnut Creek 925.938.8700

www.galileo-learning.com

Camp Edmo Alameda, Fremont, and Oakland 415.282.6673

KinderCare Walnut Creek, Concord, Danville, Martinez and Clayton 888.523.6765 www.kindercare.com/ summercamp

Viva el Espanol!

Lafayette, Piedmont, Pleasanton & San Anselmo 925.962.9177 www.vivaelespanol.org/ summerprograms.php

www.clubsports.com

www.campedmo.org

Kids’ Carpentry Berkeley, Lafayette, Alameda, Oakland, Alamo & Walnut Creek 510.524.9232

Out of Area

www.goldarrowcamp.com

Coppercreek Camp 1887 Williams Valley Rd. Greenville, 95947 800.350.0006 www.coppercreek.com

Camp Unalayee 3921 East Bayshore Rd. Palo Alto 650.969.6313 www.unalayee-summer-camp.com

CYO Summer Camp 2136 Bohemian Hwy Occidental, 95465 707.874.0200

Stratford School Summer Sports Camp & Enrichment Danville, Fremont, Los Gatos, Morgan Hill and Pleasanton 925.737.0001

www.techknowhowkids.com

www.stratfordschools.com

888.709.8324

Almaden Equestrian Center 20100 Almaden Rd. San Jose 408.927.0232 www.almadenequestriancenter.net

Silver Creek Sportsplex 800 Embedded Way San Jose 408.224.8774 www.gotoplex.com

College For Kids 1700 W. Hillsdale Blvd.

San Mateo 650.574.6149 www.collegeforkids-smccd.com

www.camp.cccyo.org

Mountain Camp Woodside 302 Portola Rd. Portola Valley 650.576.2267 www.mountaincampwoodside.com

www.kidscarpentry.com

TechKnowHow Kids Dublin, Berkeley, Fremont, Livermore, Oakland & Pleasanton 650.638.0500

SF Zoo Camp Sloat Blvd. & the Great Highway San Francisco 415.753.7080 www.sfzoo.org

Golden Arrow Camps 644 Pollasky Avenue, Ste. 100 Clovis, 93612 800.554.CAMP

School of Rock Summer Camp 711 South B St. San Mateo, San Jose & Palo Alto 650.347.3474 www.schoolofrock.com

Camp Tawonga 131 Steuart Ste. 460 San Francisco 415.543.2267 www.tawonga.org

Kennolyn Camps 8205 Glen Haven Rd. Soquel 831.479.6714 www.kennolyncamps.com

iD Tech Camp Moraga, Concord, Livermore, Berkeley and other Bay Area locations www.idtech.com

Sky hawk’s Sports Camp Various locations around the Bay Area 800.804.3509 www.skyhawks.com

JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 29

[ PARENTING ]

How Teachers and Parents Can Work Together to Combat Summer Slide

by Dr. Pamela Roggeman Summer vacations can be a wonderful time to relax and enjoy warm weather, summer camps and family vacations. However, these lengthy gaps spent away from the educational environment could negatively impact a student’s Dr. Pamela Roggeman is a proven academic leader familiar with and passionate about technology in progressive education and has extensive experience designing curriculum and preparing teachers in a university setting.

Roggeman currently serves as the Academic Dean for the College of Education at University of Phoenix.

30 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2022

academic progress. Researchers who study education call this phenomenon “summer slide”—the tendency for students to lose some of the academic gains they made during the previous school year once summer arrives, when they are no longer in a structured academic environment.

Time away from school does not just mean progress stops. For many students, they may lose some of the progress they have made. By fifth grade, summer

[ PARENTING ] learning loss can leave students 2.5 to 3 years behind

a summary at the start of the new school year.

their peers. Summer learning loss in the elementary school years alone accounts for at least half of the ninthgrade reading achievement gap.

3. Create an activity calendar. Look for educational camps and structured social activities that to make it more fun for children and make it feel less like

One of the best ways to combat the summer slide is a

“homework.”

team effort made by teachers, parents and students themselves. However, Americans have mixed feelings

4. Capitalize on screen time. Challenge students to teach

about summer slide, as well as how to address it. It may

their parents about what they have learned from time

seem challenging to win everyone over to the idea of

spent on videos, podcasts and social media accounts.

being proactive about preventing summer slide, but there are many activities and resources that teachers

5. Create a matching agreement. For every hour spent

and parents can provide to students during the summer

in front of a screen entertaining themselves by playing

months that don’t include a heavy volume of homework

video games or watching Netflix, children should

or summer school. Here are some tips to help teachers

match that time with time spent on a learning activity.

and parents to motivate their students this summer:

There are a multitude of educational online options varying from math games to improving key-boarding

1. Summer reading. Summer reading is helpful for

skills suited perfectly for this purpose.

students to maintain and continue building their reading skills. Teachers and parents should consider

6. Set learning self-improvement goals. These goals

assigning books that aren’t simply homework-based,

can include number of books read, minutes of math

but will make the child think on a much larger level.

tutorials a day, or pages written. Then agree on a fun reward for goals attained.

2. Keep an activity journal. Encourage students to start keeping a journal to regularly document their activities

Summer does not have to be a time where children fall

throughout the summer. Give guidelines about what

behind in their academic development. Teachers and

they can think about or consider writing about, and

parents can help students stay engaged and keep their

build in the potential for them to use this journal to write

minds sharp even when not in school.

JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 31

[ PARENTING ]

Amicable Divorce Q&A

by Alphonse Provinziano Q: Is an amicable divorce possible?

A: Yes, an amicable divorce is possible between parties that are cordial with each other to have a “peaceful” divorce, meaning, there is no serious disagreement between the parties and neither party is rushing to court for custody, support, or other orders. The process of an amicable divorce Alphonse Provinziano is a Los Angeles- based family law attorney and founder of Provinziano & Associates where he focuses on high net worth divorces, family law, domestic violence, restraining orders, child custody disputes, child support, grandparents’ rights, and prenuptial agreements. He is sought after for his wealth of experience navigating high stakes divorces as well as his comprehensive knowledge of nuanced and complex financial matters. www.provinziano.com

still involves a petition to start the dissolution process, then usually a response, which both are filed and served, but the parties negotiate and resolve the issues by signing written agreements with their own terms and conditions instead of getting the judge to hold a hearing or even a trial for a resolution.

Most divorces are resolved in an amicable fashion.

Q: What is a mediator?

A: A mediator is a lawyer or counselor who helps the parties communicate to explore options and reach a mutually acceptable resolution. The parties can have the court appoint a mediator or hire a private mediator, usually a retired judge, whose services will be costly. All child custody cases involve a court appointed mediator to help reach an agreement regarding child custody.

32 ACTIVE FAMIL Y | JULY 2022

[ PARENTING ] an attorney will likely help prevent further legal issues Q: What is a collaborative divorce?

that may arise as a result of your marriage dissolution.

Q: What if so cannot afford an attorney?

A: A collaborative divorce falls under the umbrella of an amicable divorce which involves a marriage dissolution

A: If you cannot afford an attorney, you and your spouse

process where both parties agree to certain terms and

may talk and decide what each party wants to come

conditions regarding CC, CS, and property division

to an agreement, then you can file the uncontested

without litigation. The difference of the two is that in a

divorce paperwork and you do not have to go to court.

collaborative divorce, each party hires a lawyer then

Every courthouse also has a legal help service, usually

their lawyers and the parties have a series of meetings

referred to as a resource center or family law facilitator

to draft a marital settlement agreement. The parties are

that will help parties who cannot afford attorneys

committed to the process because if at the end they do

complete the legal documents, but they cannot provide

not reach an agreement by contract, neither party can

legal advice. In most metropolitan areas, there are often

use the same lawyers and experts and have to start over

legal aid resources and other organizations provided low

with new professionals, which are usually costly.

cost or free legal assistance.

Q: I want a divorce and my husband wants to stay

Q: My husband pays all the bills, and I am not sure what

married. What do I do?

we have. How can I protect myself and ensure we split assets fairly?

A: In California, if you file for divorce, you are entitled to receive one even if the other party does not consent to it.

A: You have the option to talk it out with your spouse.

However, depending on your current situation and

Q: What type of custody arrangements are best for

relationship with your spouse, you may need to seek

young children?

legal help to ensure a fair property division and to best protect yourself. A divorce lawyer has the knowledge

A: The type of custody arrangement would depend on

and power to help you achieve better transparency with

the age of the minor children and every case is different

issues involving assets and debts.

so the court will look to all relevant factors to determine what is best for the minor children. Typically, often young

Q: Do we need attorneys to divorce? What are the

children benefit from frequent and continuous contact

benefits?

with both parents, so in shared 50-50 custody of children under 5 years old, a frequent timeshare is a two days on,

A: It’s always best to have an attorney involved so you

two days off, three days on alternating between parents,

don’t miss an important legal issue in case. Even though

this is commonly referred to as a 2-2-3. However, I have

you have the freedom to simply sign the divorce papers

seen parents share custody of children week-on, week

without legal representation, not only an attorney can

off with a midweek dinner visit for children as young as 2

help you achieve fairness in your divorce, but the help of

years old, but this is a rarer arrangement.

JULY 2022 | ACTIVE FAMIL Y 33

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