Active Family Magazine | September 2022

Publisher/Editor

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Travel Editor Elizabeth Kang ekang@activefamilymag.com

Local Life & Style for the East Bay Area

Social Media Manager and Sales Manager Trista Cambra-Flanders

Design/Production

Teresa Agnew Craft

Active Family is published by TAG Marketing Group Mailing Address | P.O. Box 5158, Pleasanton, CA 94566

Contributing Authors

Dr. Laura Markham

Elizabeth Kang Dr. Christine Carter Stratford Schools

Advertising Inquiries | 925.789.0709

Email Address | info@activefamilymag.com

Editor’s Note

As life rushes by at an accelerated pace, the seasons are changing, and we find ourselves in Fall with the holidays right around the corner. Enough with the Christmas decorations and spiced pumpkin lattes already!

No matter what the season, we always have travel! And we highly encourage it! We have three fabulous travel features in this issue, including the Fairmont Grand Del Mar on page 24, The Sanctuary Beach Resort on page 8 and Rush Creek Lodge on page 20. We loved them all for different reasons, but they have one thing in common; solitude, relaxation and amazing hospitality.

Enjoy the September issue and be sure to find us on Instagram @activefamilymagazine.

Tracie Brown Vollgraf Editor info@activefamilymag.com

Christine Carter, Ph.D.*, is a sociologist and happiness expert at UC Berkeley’s Greater Good Science Center. She is the author of “RAISING HAPPINESS: 10 Simple Steps for More Joyful Kids and Happier Parents.” She teaches online happiness classes that help parents bring more joy into their own lives and the lives of their children, and she writes an award-winning blog for *Greater Good* (www.greatergoodparents.org).

Dear Christine: How Can I Get My Teenager to Listen to Me?

– Influencing teens to make healthy choices is a tricky task.

by Christine Carter, Ph.D.

Dear Christine,

My daughter has a chronic health problem that we’ve been dealing with since she was almost three years old. Until very recently, I managed everything about her illness for her: appointments, medications, decision making around treatment, etc. She’s always been interested in learning more about her disease, and she’s been a compliant patient.

But now that she is a teenager, she needs to be more in charge of herself, and more involved in making decisions about her treatments. In some ways, she’s doing this well; for example, she gives herself a weekly injection.

I’m frustrated, though, because it seems like I can’t give her important

information about her illness without eye-rolling and resistance. She needs more information than she currently has to make good decisions for herself. Right now, she wants to take herself off of a medication that makes her nauseous, and her doctor and I are worried that this is going to lead to more severe long-term health problems.

How can I influence my teenager? What used to work doesn’t seem to work anymore.

Signed, Loving Mom Trying to Let Go

Dear Trying to Let Go,

I feel your pain. I find it really frustrating that I can’t just give my teenagers lots of (important!) information and expect that new information to translate to positive behavior. Even kids who don’t have a chronic disease don’t usually know what they don’t know about lots of things that will affect their health over the long run. It’d be much easier if we could just download information to them—say about sex and drugs, or about their health and wellness—and know that they were going to use that information well.

But, alas, as you and I know from experience, giving teenagers a lot of information doesn’t seem to be the key to influencing them. In fact, we know from some interesting research on this topic that what is somewhat effective for elementary school children—giving them information about their health that they can act on— tends to be mostly ineffective for teenagers.

This is because adolescents are much more sensitive to whether or not they are being treated with respect. The hormonal changes that come with puberty conspire with adolescent social dynamics to make teenagers much more attuned to social status. More specifically, they become super touchy about whether or not they are being treated as though they are high status.

In the teenage brain, the part of your daughter that is an autonomous young adult is high status. The part of her that is still a kid who needs your support is low status.

Our teenagers might be half–independent young adult, half–little kid—but they are hugely motivated to become 100 percent autonomous. (Even if they do know, on some level, that they still need our support and guidance.)

So, when we give our adolescents a lot of information about an (important!) topic, especially when it is information that they don’t really want or that they think they already have, it can feel infantilizing to them. Even if we deliver the information as we would to another adult, the mere fact of our instruction can feel disrespectful to teenagers.

What is a smart parent (with loads of important information!) like yourself to do? I’ve gleaned three ideas from a related study by some of the smartest thinkers about teenagers: Ron Dahl, Carol Dweck, and David Yaeger.

1. Accord them high status from the get-go. Bring up the topic as you would to someone with the highest possible social status, someone you really, really respect. (I have to literally imagine that person in my head, and then imagine both the tone and the words I would use with that person.) Remember, if they feel disrespected, nagged, spoken down to, pressed upon, or infantilized at all, all bets are off.

The goal: Give them enough information that they can make their own informed decision, hopefully one that benefits their health and well-being in the long term, but do it in a way that allows them to feel respected and high status in the short term. They’ll need to feel competent, so it can help to point out all the ways that you see them as already very competent in this arena. What do you admire about them?

One way to convey your respect is to really listen well. Let this be a two-way conversation, not a lecture. Show your daughter that you are listening to her by reflecting back to her what she is saying (not what you wish she were saying).

Another way to convey respect is to demonstrate her value to a group of other teenagers. Are there other kids with the same chronic health issue that your

daughter could help? Could you have her write a letter to someone else struggling with the same decision, outlining her situation and all that she knows about the decision she needs to make? This would help her engage in what researchers call “self-persuasion,” and it would make palpable the wisdom that she has to share and the way that she can help others.

2. Keep it short. You may have a mountain of information to impart, but research shows that less is more. Do not do what I often find myself doing in these situations: repeating myself. This can sound like nagging, and research shows that parental nagging activates angerrelated regions in teenager’s brains, and it reduces activity in regions related to planning and behavior change.

using a tone that suggests you are going to decide the course of her treatment, wade in sloooowly. Raise the issue you’d like to discuss from a couple of very different angles. For example: “Do you want to talk about what it is like when you feel nauseous at school?” or “Do you want to talk about what the risks and benefits are of going off of your medication?” Ron Dahl recommends that we always also throw in a super-open-ended question like, “Or maybe there is something else you would rather discuss? What do you think?”

If they say they don’t want to talk, let it go temporarily. Force never works, but persistence does.

I definitely talk too much. I learned this the hard way. I was trying to make an important point to one of my kids, and she didn’t seem to be getting it. I plowed on, with more examples. “Are you hearing me?” I finally asked. She looked up, eyes glazed over. “Yes,” she said. “I hear your words. So. Many. Words.” So, use as few words as possible to make your point, and then shut up and watch for a response. Awkward silences are okay; often teens will want to fill the silence and in so doing will actually contribute to the conversation.

3. Let them be in control of both the conversation and the actions they take following the conversation. Do not, under pain of death, tell teenagers what to do. When it comes to conversations about their own health, invite them to discover what the information means for their lives.

So instead of sitting your daughter down for a Big Talk

As parents I think we often forget that teenagers are motivated by totally different things than we are. We want them to do the things that are best for their health and well-being; they want to do the things that bestow on them the highest social status. But we are most influential when we are able to take advantage of teens’ existing motivations, rather than trying to get them to feel motivated by our goals.

Fortunately, our motivations tend to turn out to be aligned already: Our adolescents want to feel like competent, well-respected, autonomous adults. And, in the end, we want our children to be competent, autonomous adults who make choices we respect and admire. Decisions like the one your daughter has ahead of her are a bridge between how she wants to feel and the young woman she is becoming. Though she may not see it right now, she is so lucky to have you walking across that bridge beside—or perhaps a touch behind—her.

Yours, Christine

HOTEL SPOTLIGHT: The Sanctuary Beach Resort

by Elizabeth Kang

Nestled between Santa Cruz and Monterey, The Sanctuary Beach Resort is a hidden gem, tucked away off the radar on a sandy, secluded beach. Located in the small town of Marina, Ca, this family and pet-friendly resort is a beach-lover’s dream.

With rooms and suites situated right on the sandy beach and swoonworthy panoramic sunset views, this oceanside sanctuary is perfect for both families and romantic getaways. With an incredible onsite restaurant, a heated pool and hot tub, cozy fire pits, beach volleyball courts, bocce and more, The Sanctuary Beach Resort should be bookmarked as your next beachside stay.

Idyllic Accommodations

Most rooms and suites boast crystal clear ocean views, and some are even situated just feet from the ocean, where crashing waves lull guests to sleep. The accommodations are situated in one and two-story attached bungalows, and range from 380 to 460-square-feet, with cozy fireplaces and soothing, coastal decor. Those traveling with more than two will find pullout sofa beds to accommodate extra sleepers. Expansive patios and decks are perfect for sitting outside to enjoy the cool ocean breezes and breathtaking sunsets.

Delightful Dining

The property’s onsite restaurant — Salt Wood Kitchen & Oysterette — is a popular dining destination, with eager diners traveling from Monterey, Santa Cruz and Carmel to dine. Luckily, guests of the resort only need to walk a few feet to be treated to fresh oysters and innovative, seasonal dishes such as seared octopus, tender pork belly, and miso-glazed cod. Along with an inspired cocktail menu and decadent desserts, this beautifully decorated, modern eatery is a treat to experience. Reservations are recommended.

Endless Amenities

While The Sanctuary is perfectly suited for long beach days, there’s much more to while away lazy days at and around the resort. In addition to a large, heated pool and hot tub, there are sandy volleyball courts for friendly games, and bocce ball courts even little ones can take advantage of. Those wanting to start the day off right will want to sign up for Beach Yoga, offered every Saturday and Sunday morning at 9:30 am. Yoga

participants are treated to an hour-long, invigorating sessions, along with a lavender face mask and bottle of juice.

In the evenings, fire pits, which are also peppered throughput the property, are lit, so guests can enjoy cozy beachside evenings by crackling wood fires. These fire pits are lit nightly and stocked with extra firewood, so be sure to purchase a cute s’mores kit from the well-stocked store by the lobby.

Complimentary Activities

Another fun activity offered by the resort is the daily nature walk, departing at 10 a.m. on Saturdays and Sundays from The Lodge. This complimentary, one-hour discovery walk is led by naturalists, who regal audiences with interesting facts about local flora and fauna. It’s an easy two-mile loop through the picturesque Marina Dunes Preserve, which lie adjacent to the property. The resort also offers complimentary use of stylish beach cruisers to enjoy beachside bike rides or for exploring around town, available on a firstcome, first-served basis.

The Sanctuary Beach Resort provides everything needed for a relaxing beachside vacation with the whole family, including Fido. At less than a two-hour drive from the East Bay Area, it’s the perfect spot for a last-minute getaway with family, friends, and loved ones.

Dr. Laura Markham is the author of Peaceful Parent, Happy Kids: How to Stop Yelling and Start Connecting. She earned her Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology from Columbia University and has worked as a parenting coach with countless parents across the English-speaking world, both in person and via phone. You can find Dr. Laura online at AhaParenting.com, the website of Aha! Moments for parents of kids from birth through the teen years, where she offers a free daily inspiration email to parents.

Preparing Your Child for the New School Year

by Dr. Laura Markham

Here in the United States, the last weeks of summer are already upon us, and the new school year is already starting for some children. Whether you can’t wait till your kids are back in school or dread the more regimented days ahead, there’s one thing you can count on: Back to School is always a big transition.

Kids who are starting school for the first time or moving to a new school have to cope with the biggest adjustment, of course. But all children will feel some excitement and maybe anxiety about moving up a grade, a new teacher, a changing social circle, and facing more academic demands. Even kids who are homeschooled often begin new programs when the new school year begins.

The good news is that a little bit of preparation and forethought – a very little bit, so you can enjoy these last weeks of summer!--can make those first weeks of school easier for your kids – and yourself.

Here’s how:

1. Begin talking with your child about what they can look forward to when school begins.

You might start with "We have a few more weeks to really enjoy summer, and then we get to prepare for your new school year. How are you feeling about school starting?"

When you talk with your child, remember that your most important job is to listen. Children, like the rest of us, need to express their worries and frustrations to a compassionate listener, even when there are no good solutions to what's bothering them.

So if your child expresses some discomfort, you might say: "You're worried about that, huh? Tell me more. What's the worst thing about that?"

You are not trying to talk your child out of their concern. You are a safe place for them to bring their worries to light, which often makes the worry melt away. It's good, though, to ask your child how they think they might handle it, if the worry does come to pass. Your goal is always to help your child discover their own inner resources, and to help them remember that they have access to outer resources that will be easily available to help them. They will not be left alone to cope with what they're worried about. If it happens, they will handle it, or they will get help to handle it.

2. Make sure your child is familiar with the school. If she was at the same school in the past, great! You only need to talk about any differences this year.

•

“Now that you’re in first grade, you get to play on the big kids playground, and go eat in the lunchroom with the other kids.”

• “Now that you’ll be in third grade, you’ll have homework every day.”

• “Now that you’ll be in middle school, you’ll be walking

by yourself. We’ll need to practice crossing Main Street.”

But if this is her first year at this school, then you’ll want to take some trips there. Even if there is a formal orientation day just before school begins, start now by taking a trip to the school. If you can get access to the playground, that’s a terrific way to help your child bond with her new school. If not, at least admire it through the fence and get her excited about the slide or climbing structure.

If the building is open, by all means walk in together to check it out. If you’re allowed to poke your head in the library, peer into a classroom or two, and use the bathroom (important in making her feel more secure there) you’ve hit the jackpot. You may not get much further than the office, where you can explain that your child will be starting school in the fall and wanted to see what the school was like, and introduce her to the front office staff. Either way, the more your child sees of the school, the less she’ll fret with fear of the unknown, and the more comfortable she’ll feel on the first day.

3. Take advantage of any orientation opportunities.

Many schools let new students, especially in the younger grades, come to school for an orientation session before school begins. If the school doesn’t have such a program, ask if you and your child can come by to meet the new teacher for a few minutes a day or so before school starts. Teachers are busy preparing their rooms and materials at that time, but any experienced teacher is happy to take a few minutes to meet a new student and make him feel comfortable, since she knows that helps her students settle into the school year.

4. Facilitate your child’s bonding with the teacher.

All kids need to feel connected to their teacher to feel comfortable in the classroom. Until they do, they are not ready to learn. Experienced teachers know this, and “collect” their students emotionally at the start of the school year. Obviously, if you can arrange for your child to meet the teacher in advance, by all means do so. But there are lots of ways to help your child feel like he knows even a teacher he’s never met.

Once you find out your child’s classroom assignment, begin talking about the teacher in fond and familiar terms.

• “When you’re in Ms. Williams class, I bet she’ll be impressed with what a great cleaner-upper you are.”

• “I’m pretty sure that Ms. Williams reads stories to the kids; she might read your favorite book if we bring it to school.”

If you can find a photo of Ms. Williams, by all means put it up on your refrigerator and speak to it fondly

“Ms. Williams, you are a great kindergarten teacher and I just know you and my David are going to love each other!”

If you know other kids who have been in Ms. Williams’ class, ask them to tell your child what their favorite thing was about her.

Encourage your child to draw a picture to bring Ms. Williams on the first day, and to pick out a shiny red apple or a jar of flowers for her. Note that it doesn’t really matter what kind of teacher Ms. Williams is. Your child will feel a fondness for her to which she is likely to respond favorably. Regardless, the feeling of familiarity will help your child bond with her.

If you notice in the first week of school that your child doesn’t seem to have connected with his teacher, don’t hesitate to immediately contact the teacher. Just explain that your child was excited before school started but doesn’t seem to have settled in yet. You’re hoping that the teacher can make a special effort to reach out to him so he connects with her and feels at home. Virtually all teachers understand this issue and will pay extra attention to your child during that first week if you make a nice request. My own daughter cried every day at the start of fourth grade until I had a conversation with the teacher; a week later she loved him and couldn’t wait to go to school in the morning.

5. Facilitate bonding with the other kids.

Kids are always nervous about their new teacher, but if

they know any of the other kids, they’ll feel more at ease. If you’re new in town, make a special effort to meet other kids in the neighborhood. Often schools are willing to introduce new families to each other, allowing kids to connect with other new students in the weeks before school starts. Even if your child is not new to the school, find out what other kids are in her class and arrange a playdate so she’ll feel more connected if she hasn’t seen these kids all summer. If you can arrange for your son or daughter to travel to school that first morning with a child he or she knows, even if they aren’t in the same classroom, it will ease last minute jitters.

6. Practice saying goodbye.

For many children, the biggest challenge will be saying goodbye to you. Orchestrate small separations to practice saying goodbye, and develop a parting routine, such as a hug and a saying like

“I love you, you love me, have a great day and I’ll see you at 3!”

You might give your child a token to hold on to that reminds her of you, such as a cut-out heart with a love note, your scarf, or a small stone you found on the beach together, that she can keep in her pocket while you’re apart and give back upon your return. Most kids like to have a picture of the family in their backpacks. Be sure to use the suggestions above for helping her bond with her new teacher; she needs to transfer her attachment focus from you to the teacher if she is to successfully let you go.

7. Ask the school whether you will be able to walk your child into the classroom and hand him off to the teacher.

Find out how long you will be able to stay. If you suspect that your child might have a hard time saying goodbye, by all means speak with the teacher now and make a plan for how to handle the first day. Maybe every morning you will read your child one story and then take her over to the teacher when you say goodbye, so the teacher can comfort and distract her.

Once you have a plan, begin describing to your child

what will happen at school. But don’t emphasize the goodbye, keep right on going with how fun the day will be:

“Every morning you will pick a book for me to read to you. When we finish the story, we will find Ms. Williams together. We’ll give each other a big hug and say our special goodbye. Then Ms. Williams will hold your hand and take you to the block corner where you and Michael can build a tall tower while I go to work. You will have snack, and play outside, and read stories, and have lunch. Every day when I pick you up I will be excited to hear what you built in the block corner that day.”

8. Start conversations about the next grade at school or about beginning school.

One good way to do this is to select books relating to that grade. Your librarian can be helpful; some good choices include books by Alan & Janet Ahlberg, Stan & Jan Berenstain, Dianne Blomberg, Marc Brown, Lauren

Child, Julie Danneberg, Bonnie Graves, James Howe, Beth Norling, Marisabina Russo, and Amy Schwartz.

Get your kids excited by talking about what they can expect, including snack, playground, reading, computers, singing and art. If you know other children who will be in his class or in the school, be sure to mention that he will see or play with them. Share your own stories about things you loved about school.

Encourage her questions by asking what she thinks school will be like. That will help her to express any fears she hasn't articulated, but that are making her nervous. Emphasize the things you think she’ll enjoy but be sure not to minimize her fears; kids can be stricken by worries that adults might find silly, like finding the bathroom at school. Normalize any fears and reassure her that she will have fun, that the school can reach you if necessary, and that your love is always with her even when you aren’t. Be sure to end every conversation with “and when school is over I will be there to pick you up and we’ll have

a special snack while you tell me all about your day” so that every time your child thinks about school, she remembers this reassurance.

9. If a younger sibling will be at home with you

If a younger sibling will be at home with you, be sure your child knows how boring it will be at home and how jealous you and the younger sibling are that you don’t get to go to school like a big kid. Explain that every day after school you will have special time with your big girl to hear all about her day and have a snack together.

10. Get your child back on an early-to-bed schedule well before school starts.

Most kids begin staying up late in the summer months. But if you have to wake your child for school in the morning, then your child has not had enough sleep. Children need 9 1/2 to 11 hours of sleep a night, depending on their age and individual physiology.

(Teens need a minimum of 9.5 hours; toddlers usually do best with 11 hours). Getting kids back on schedule so they’re sound asleep by 9pm, so they can wake by themselves at 7am for school, takes a couple of weeks of gradually moving the bedtime earlier.

Imposing an early bedtime cold turkey the night before school starts results in a child who simply isn’t ready for an earlier bedtime, having slept in that morning and with the night-before-school jitters. In that situation, you can expect everyone’s anxiety to escalate. So keep an eye on the calendar and start moving bedtime a bit earlier every night by having kids read in bed for an hour before lights out, which is also good for their reading skills.

11. Wake up your child’s brain.

You aren’t the teacher, and you don’t need to start school before the school year starts by pulling out the flashcards or assigning math problems. On the other

hand, research shows that kids forget a lot during the summer. (Don't worry, they learn a lot from playing, too!) If your child has been reading through the summer months, congratulations! If not, this is the time to start. Visit the library and let him pick some books he’ll enjoy. Introduce the idea that for the rest of the summer everyone in the family (you can include yourself if you like, or you can read to them) will read for an hour every day.

And if your child has assignments to complete, don’t wait for him to remember the day before school starts that he was supposed to write a book report. Finish summer work at least a week before school starts, so he can relax without anxiety for the rest of vacation.

12. Let your child choose his own school supplies...

...whether from around your house or from the store, and ready them in his backpack or bag.

13. The day before school starts, talk about exactly what will happen the next day...

...to give your child a comfortable mental movie: “We’ll get up early tomorrow for your first day in Ms. Williams’ class. We will drive there together and I will take you into her classroom and introduce you to her. She will make sure you know all the other kids, because they will be your new friends. I will read a book to you and then we will hug and say our special goodbye. Then Ms. Williams will take you to the block corner so you can build a tower. Ms. Williams will show you where the bathroom is, and you can ask her anytime you need to go. There will be games and books and blocks, and she will read to the class. You will get to have fun on the playground with the other kids, and you will get to sit at a desk like the big kids. And at the end of the day, Ms. Williams will bring you to me on the school steps, and I will be there to pick you up and hear all about your first day at school.”

Be alert for signs that your child is worried, and reflect that most kids are a little nervous before the first day of school, but that he will feel right at home in his new

classroom soon.

14. Get yourself to bed early the night before school...

...so you can get up early enough to deal calmly with any last minute crises. Be sure kids – including teens! – lay out clothes the night before, that lunches are made, and that everyone gets enough sleep and a healthy breakfast. Plan to arrive at school early so you have time for meaningful goodbyes. And don’t forget that “first day of school” photo before you leave home!

15. If your child gets teary when you say goodbye

If your child gets teary when you say goodbye, reassure her that she will be fine and that you can’t wait to see her at the end of the day. Use the goodbye routine you’ve practiced, and then hand her off to her teacher. Don’t leave her adrift without a new attachment person, but once you’ve put her in good hands, don’t worry. Experienced teachers know about first day jitters and are used to bonding with their charges. Her tears won’t last long. If your child continues to have a hard time separating, be sure to speak with the teacher. Maybe she can give her a special job every morning, or facilitate a friendship with another child who has similar interests.

16. Make sure you’re a few minutes early to pick your child up that first week of school.

Not seeing you immediately will exacerbate any anxieties he has and may panic him altogether. If your child cries when you pick him up, don’t worry. You’re seeing the stress of his having to keep it together all day and be a big boy. Your return signals that it’s safe to be his baby-self again; take it as a compliment.

This is true for kids of all ages, who may have uncharacteristic meltdowns during the first week of school, or just before school starts. Chalk it up to stress, don’t be hard on them, and be sure you’re there to talk so they don’t have to resort to tantrums. Before you know it, everyone will be comfortable in their new routine and not even looking back as they race into school.

TOP TEN REASONS TO VISIT RUSH CREEK LODGE THIS FALL

by Elizabeth Kang

Just thirty minutes from the Yosemite Valley, Rush Creek Lodge is a contemporary, kid-friendly lodge with a delicious onsite restaurant, newly built spa, and amazing kids’ indoor and outdoor play spaces. It’s the perfect fall getaway — when Yosemite sees fewer visitors, the leaves start to change, and the s’mores fire pits at the lodge become even cozier.

Time to pack those flannels and Uggs, because Rush Creek Lodge offers some amazing room rates in the fall season. We keep returning to this special spot year after year, because it’s our favorite getaway in the Yosemite area. If that doesn’t convince you to give Rush Creek a try, here are ten more reasons to book your stay this fall.

1. HEATED POOL & HOT TUB — The 2,400-square-foot heated saltwater pool and two steaming hot tubs are perfect on crisp fall days, and are a wonderful way to unwind after a day hiking Yosemite.

2. OUTDOOR PLAYGROUND — The outdoor playground on this 20-acre, wooded property is one of our favorite things about the lodge. Kids go crazy for the thrilling, 60-foot hillside slide, two daring zip-lines (one for big kids and one for smaller kids,) and plenty of other equipment to climb, crawl under, and explore. There’s also ping-pong tables, a bocce ball court, corn hole, and more!

3. INDOOR GAME AREA — The indoor game room is just as impressive as the outdoor playground, and the perfect place to hang if the weather is chilly or rainy. Inside you’ll find foosball, air hockey, pool, classic arcade games, and a wide selection of toys and board games to play with. There’s also an amazing

custom-designed tree house climbing structure is as cool-looking as it is fun.

4. S’MORES NIGHT, EVERY NIGHT! — There’s nothing better on a starry and crisp fall night than huddling by the fire pit and roasting marshmallows. Rush Creek Lodge hosts a nightly S’Mores event around their cozy fire-pits, providing all the essentials for this classic camping treat, every evening.

5. GUIDED TOURS —Yosemite is a huge park, and can feel overwhelming, especially to first-time visitors. Luckily, Rush Creek offers an incredible Guided Recreation Program that matched guests to experienced and knowledgable guides, taking the guesswork out of your vacation. Partial and full-day guided tours are available, appropriate for all fitness levels and abilities.

6. ACTIVITIES GALORE — Those dreaded two words — “I’m Bored” — will never be uttered during a stay at Rush Creek Lodge. There are daily planned activities, kids’ crafts and nature presentations scheduled throughout the day. Children can learn about geodes and crystals, weave a reed basket, dissect owl pellets, or participate in a family painting lesson during any given week at the lodge.

7. SPECTACULAR SPA FACILITIES — The newly opened indoor/outdoor spa facility at Rush Creek is worth the drive alone. There’s no better place to get a relaxing massage, pampering facial or rejuvenating steam & sauna than at this gorgeous facility, surrounded by serene forested land.

8. CONVENIENT GENERAL STORE — Guests love the well-stocked general store at the lodge, where a steaming latte and grab’n’go breakfast burrito can be picked up in just a few short minutes. The store also sells groceries, wine, and adorable souvenirs.

9. GOURMET DINING — Just because you’re in the middle of a forest doesn’t mean you have to “rough it.” Guests can order decadent challah french toast for breakfast, a refreshing tuna poke bowl for lunch and a perfectly cooked Cheeseburger on a brioche bun for dinner. The kids’ menu offerings include children’s favorites such as burgers, macaroni & cheese, chicken tenders, and pizza, with a choice of veggies, fruit, or french fries. Don’t forget to order

a seasonal craft cocktail from the bar with your appetizer.

10. SPACIOUS ACCOMMODATIONS — Named after the area’s historic ties to the Gold Rush, Rush Creek Lodge offers 143 spacious rooms, suites and hillside villas that are perfectly suited for small to large families. The stylish rooms, suites and villas have rustic, modern charm, with comfortable beds, sofa beds, private patios and cozy gas fireplaces. Most rooms have space so adults and children can be in separate spaces — a feature any adult will appreciate. (There are no TVs in the rooms, which won’t be missed with the gorgeous surroundings and views!)

RUSH CREEK LODGE 34001 CA-120 Groveland, CA 95321 (209) 379-2373 www.rushcreeklodge.com

FALL IN LOVE WITH THE FAIRMONT GRAND DEL MAR

by Elizabeth Kang

Perched on a throne of 400 acres in the lush Los Penansquitos Canyon Reserve — and just five miles from the beach — the Fairmont Grand Del Mar is an idyllic and luxurious fall getaway. Voted by TripAdvisor travelers as the number one luxury resort in California, tourists and locals alike flock to this stunning resort in summer, but fall is also a wonderful time to visit, when the crowds disperse, the room rates descend, and the weather is warm, clear and crisp.

We recently visited this sophisticated, sprawling resort and the experience left us wanting more. We wanted more days lounging by the sparkling pools, more mornings wandering the pristine grounds, more mouthwatering meals at the Michelin-starred restaurant, and more time exploring the old-world, Mediterraneaninspired grounds.

Whether you're traveling for a romantic getaway, wellness trip, or family vacation, the Fairmont Grand Del Mar is a top-notch choice for upscale luxury,

sophisticated fun, and rejuvenating solitude. Brimming with opulent fountains, tropical palms, lush lawns, and sweeping views, stepping onto the grounds of the Fairmont Grand Del Mar instantly transports to a world of tranquility and luxury. The seamless, flawless service is exactly what we’ve come to expect from the Fairmont brand.

Accommodations are the ultimate experience in upscale comfort, with spacious, well-appointed rooms, nightly turn-down service, marble bathroom finishes, expansive balconies and sweeping garden and canyon views. There are 249 guest rooms and suites, all tastefully decorated in warm, rich fabrics and colors. A variety of room sizes ensures everyone is perfectly comfortable, with adequate space and privacy.

Room service in your suite or guest room is always a great option, but there are also five other fantastic dining options to choose from on the property, including the Michelin-starred Addison, San Diego’s first two-starred

restaurant. Addison is an unforgettable experience, offering an inspired menu that highlights regional ingredients and Southern California influences. Chef William Bradley designs an elevated dining experience with a sumptuous nine-course tasting menu, with the option of paired wine and champagne from the restaurant’s 12,000-bottle wine room.

Other dining options include Amaya, a California-bistrostyle eatery serving breakfast, lunch and dinner. Golfers and their guests enjoy fish tacos, salads, cold beers and craft cocktails at The Clubhouse Grill, overlooking the fairways. Diners with little ones in tow will appreciate that children ages five years and under eat free at The Clubhouse Grill, while those ages six through 12 receive a 50% discount on menu items. Del Mar Social Club in another fun dining option, offering wood-fired pizzas, craft cocktails and other casual fare on the expansive front lawn. Lawn games, private fire pits, and live music make for a fun, lively and social experience.

Sporty types will appreciate the resort’s award-winning private golf course “The Grand Golf Club,” designed by Tom Fazio. This challenging yet approachable course features meticulously manicured fairways, dramatic elevations, cooling Pacific breezes, and fun, challenging holes. For even more activity, there are pickle ball courts and a well-equipped fitness center onsite to keep active and on track.

When it’s time to wind down and re-center, the fabulous onsite spa is waiting. The Center For Wellbeing is one of only 60 Forbes Five-Star spas in the world. With a huge menu of inspired treatments, a custom organic product line, and serene, breathtaking surroundings, a spa treatment at the Grand Del Mar is an unforgettable experience that’s not to be missed.

As far as recreation and relaxation goes, the Fairmont Grand Del Mar had us covered, and then some. We loved that there were four gorgeous, temperaturecontrolled pools to choose from, and an adults’ relaxation pool to enjoy where the joyful screams and splashes of children become a distant memory. The children's pool is perfectly designed for little ones, with a shallow wading area, and white sand seating areas. Poolside service is available for drinks and light bites, and poolside cabanas are available to rent by the day.

Adult’s traveling with children won’t miss out on spa time or dinner at Addison, thanks to the resort’s onsite “Explorer’s Club” for kids. Here, children can be dropped off in a safe and secure play area that’s fully staffed by trained and licensed professionals. Set free to explore, create, play and socialize, the Explorer’s Club may be the highlight of your child’s trip.

Other fun diversions include horseback riding on picturesque trails, with rides that are accommodating to guests of all ages and experience. There are also electric and BMW bicycles to borrow at the resort, where guests can explore paved trails at their leisure. On foot, there are a whopping 37 miles of hiking trails that begin on the property grounds.

The highlight of our trip, however, is hard to pin down. In between scenic horseback riding adventures, delicious sunset dinners overlooking lush scenery, and lazy afternoons lounging poolside with a refreshing aperol spritz in hand, it’s difficult to say what the best part of a vacation at the Fairmont Grand Del Mar is. The only way to find out is to come stay and decide for yourself. I guarantee your fall hard for this stunning, one-of-a-kind resort.

THE GRAND DEL MAR 5300 Grand Del Mar Ct. San Diego, CA 92130 (858) 314-2000 www.fairmont.com/san-diego

Six Books to Get Your Child Excited About Being Back-at-School

by Stratford School

Reading books during this busy first week of school where everyone is adjusting and learning new routines helps build community and introduce concepts.

With the start to a new school year, we thought it would be fun to assemble book selections that speak to the myriad and mixed feelings kids have about the return to school. By now, some children, bored with summer and eager to reunite with friends, are entirely thrilled to be returning to the structure and social aspects of school. Others are not at all eager to return and the reasons for their reluctance are varied and often complex. For many children, the transition from summer to school is bittersweet – an end and a beginning, sad and exciting – all at the same time. Regardless of how children are

feeling about the start of a school year, it is healthy for them to recognize, express, and process those feelings. Our selections describe school interactions and challenges that will be familiar to many children and most parents – the first days in a school where we knew no one, the anxiety associated with learning something that was really difficult, friendship challenges, and occasional misunderstandings. The books we have selected touch on familiar school challenges through the experiences of memorable characters, including a few that aren’t human. Who says giraffes, worms, and tortoises don’t go to school? The challenges described in the stories will sound familiar to readers – your children – and may help them give voice to their own fears.

Finally, some of our book selections feature inspirational school-success stories – fictional or real individuals for whom school was transformational. School can be a place where you discover a talent or a new passion, where you meet individuals who will be your lifelong friends, where whole worlds open up to you when you learn to read – especially meaningful when literacy comes late in life.

BEST READS TO HONOR ‘BACK TO SCHOOL’ WITH KIDS

PRESCHOOL

How to Apologize, written by David La Rochelle and illustrated by Mike Wohnoutka

A straightforward guide on how to say sorry sincerely, without making excuses, as demonstrated by some very cute porcupines, hippos, ponies, and even a sloth. Everyone can benefit from this book’s reminder that apologizing may be hard, but it doesn’t have to be complicated. Our favorite scene in the book is the giraffe saying sorry to the worm for borrowing his socks without permission, but meanwhile he’s wearing the socks on his tiny horns. This adorable book is a great way to start a talk with youngsters about the importance of a heartfelt apology.

KINDERGARTEN

Hurry, Little Tortoise, Time for School, written by Carrie Finison, and illustrated by Erin Kraan

This is a great book to start conversations with anxious children about how faster isn't always better, and how we don't need to compare ourselves with others. The colorful, unique art brings life to each animal that Little Tortoise gets passed by on her way to school. There are some cute plot twists, such as Snail offering Little Tortoise a ride on a scooter. The best part of the story is the surprise “tardy” student who appears on the last page, which gives parents a great opportunity to reflect on Aesop's immortal “The Tortoise and the Hare” fable. Young readers and even adults will cheer for Little

Tortoise, and be reassured when her teacher tells her, "The most important thing is that we're all here."

GRADES ONE AND TWO

A Walk in the Words, w ritten and Illustrated by Hudson Talbott

Hudson Talbott's inspiring story vividly reveals the challenges, and ultimately the rewards, of being a nonmainstream kind of learner. As the main character is in school, and all of his friends are learning to read, he feels that the books “were coming for me! So many words! So many pages!” This book holds an important lesson both for struggling readers and for anyone who needs to learn empathy for them. There is a great drawing of the “Slow Readers Hall of Fame,” which includes Einstein, Picasso, and Shakespeare.

CatStronauts: Mission Moon, written and illustrated by Drew Brockington

This off-the-wall full color graphic novel stars the brave cat crew of Major Meowser, pilot Waffles, genius inventor Blanket, and quick-thinking science officer Pom Pom. Desperate for a solution to the worldwide energy crisis, this crew is on a mission to the moon to create a solar power plant to help alleviate the looming power catastrophe. They must go to astronaut training school to be space-worthy. Will the lovable feline heroes be able to complete their lunar mission and save the world? With its appealing blend of cuteness with STEM lessons hidden in the pages, this six book series will have readers over the moon!

GRADES THREE TO FIVE

The Oldest Student: How Mary Walker Learned to Read, written by Rita Lorraine Hubbard, Illustrated by Oge Mora Caldecott honor illustrator Oge Mora delivers a feast for our eyes with this incredibly powerful book. Mary Walker was born into slavery in 1848, and was not allowed to read or write. At the age of fifteen she was freed as a result of the Emancipation Proclamation, but Mary had

to keep working hard, at times for a quarter a week, to help her family. Even though she was free, she wasn’t able to attend school, and always felt held back because she couldn’t understand written words. She would look to the sky, wishing she could be like one of the swallow-tails in the clouds. “Mary decided that flying was a lot like reading: they both made a body feel as free as a bird.” Mary worked hard all of her very long life, had many children, and lived through 26 United States presidents. At the age of 114, she enrolled in school and learned to read, becoming the “World’s Oldest Student.” Bravely overcoming illiteracy against all odds, Mary is beautifully commemorated in this moving tribute to her life, which helps young readers understand that school is a privilege.

MIDDLE SCHOOL

Twins, written by Varian Johnson and Illustrated by Shannon Wright

Coretta Scott King Honor author Varian Johnson and the very talented illustrator Shannon Wright have expertly teamed up to create a relatable story for anyone about to start a new school. Francine and Maureen are identical twins who have always done everything together. Their new middle school brings unexpected and very different class schedules for the girls, followed by new interests, their own friends, and eventually a competition for student council president. In the end, only one sister is the winner of the political process, but they both succeed at school, thanks to each other’s support.

Reading, like going back to school, helps children discover relatable stories and fuels their own passion for learning and discovery. Learn more about how Stratford School promotes learning and reading opportunities for children. Visit www.stratfordschools.com and schedule a personalized tour today.

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