POTATO QUEEN ADVICE MOULINROUGE

writer Christian (Ewan McGregor.)

Luhurmann's comhines the stories passion through the -song and dunce of Broadway with the artistic freedom of modern technology in film. Costumes of tight fitted corsets and swirls of flushing red skirts. like kaleidoscopes flare across the screen. The lyrics of all but one of the songs are a brilliant (and I uon't use this word lightly) collage of the best music of the last century with highlights from "The Sound of Music" to Nirvana's ''Smells Like Teen Spirit." Kidman and McGregor's singing communicates the intense emotions of the dramatic plot very effectively. On

Dear Honorublc Majesty

I have noticed that we may share some of the same pr()blcms when it comes 10 bathing attire in the summer. All of the suits T find seem to be made for stick bugs.

I know we have a ways to go bcl'orc the "beach seuson." however I am looking to tnkc an exotic vacation some place a little warmer. Normally. a caterpillar woulu sim• ply weuve a cocoon 1 know, but normal caterpillars would not write lclkrs (nor woulll 'normul' potatoes either, so what docs normal menn anyhow'!) II' you have ilny swimsuit suggestions for n rotund worm, please do not hesitate to enlighten me.

Sincerely

Frantic Francis in n Stickbug's life

Dear Frnncis I do unllerstund your C(lncerns. We "Fatties" (as my grnndmother the the down side I' II admit that the movic was a little long, and I would not recommend this for most. However, those who are into classical art with exotic modern fireworks will really enjoy this film which under all the electricity of a 1899 neon red-light district explores the struggles of being human in a world that can be an extremely complex and difficult place to survive.

So, the next time you are looking for a movie to sit hack and ~tew over for a couple hours, while bathing in the reflection of the limelight (which is really juist the retlec• Lion off the TV). Moulin Rouge has gotta be it.

Duchess of Ohio. used to refer to us spudlings) need to be a little 111orecreative when il comes to making it out on the sundy summer horcs. My advice is give up on the senrch. Exchange your search fo1·the perfect suit with a searl:h for the perfect private heach. Once you tinll your beach. your binhd.iy suit will be irrcplm:eahle!

Dear Queen Plastic Potato

Okay. l cun unllcrstand plastic surgery for burn victims. But, I've seen you 'rnund before unll heck, every time you get up in the morning, you must take u Jrip to the ol' surgeon because you're lllways sportin' a new set of lips, or ears - even your eyes hnve left me wondering at limes. You must have horrible self-esteem nnd really. fnr ull the advice you give out I think YOU are the one thut ought to be visiting the shrink!

Federico with Fashion fortress Ma~azine

In reply to Sr. Federico's lcllcr; Mind your own business and get a life Ill

Dear Queen,

I just have to tell you how much I LOVE your column. In all of my life I have never read any other advice as kind, com• passionate, wise, caring, or insightful as yours. r have been faithfully reading your intellectually stimulating material from the start of your cureer anll I must tell you, you're in a league of your own and soar far beyond the likes of not sc>dear (f)"Abby". Also, love the picture of you. You are as gorgeous as a fresh scrubbed pot of shepherd's pie. Adoringly yours, ''Mr.'' Potato Head

Denr ''Mr." Potato Hcall

Lovely letter. but it still dot!s not rnuke up for the anniversary you forgot last week. You're getting there, but keep trying!