LIFESTYLES IN OVER-EMOTIONALMEMORIAM

By Nicole Pccenka

Although I am quill: upset at the moment. I am still fully cognizant of the fact that the majority of students don't care whether my dog has died or t10l. However. if this octutdly makes it into publication, pleose bt: udviscd: at the moment, 1 really don'l give a shit. I am depressed, sullen, and otherwise objectionable, so if you have made it this far into the paper, you might a well rt:ad my two bits' worth as well.

My family has enjoyed the companionship of o standard poodle for the Inst eight years. My dod took one look at the ball of fluff we brought home and said, ''Well. if you arc going to have a snooty French poodle, it may as well have a snooty French name. How about Celeste'!" And so we named her, though I don't believe that she had o single snooty moment in her entire life.

Celeste was n smart dog. We took her to agility classes whcrt: she climbed ladders, jumped through hoops, and suffered all manner of demeaning exercises just so we would give her an extra pat on the back. She caught on to her obcdil!nce classes with great proficiency. and thrived on our praise.

Occasionally, we would take her to White Rock; there was a section of beach where dog werc permitted, and she would spend hours on end delighteoly chasing the eagulls. Soaking wet and stretched out at a full gallop she n,ore closely resembled a greyhound than the dipstick we loved. Birds, however, were not her only "prey.'' Nol only did this dog du1se birds. hut cats as well. To my knowledge, she never harmeo any of them, but Celeste udored cornering, shak• ing, and releasing any errant neighbourhood feline who made the nii take of trespassing on our property. Thnnks to the dog, our hird feeder is one of the most l'requemed ones in town.

In addition 10being an athlete, Fur-Face (as I occasiorlally callcd her) wos also u bum; her penchant for garbage evt:ntually did her in. No garbage was too smelly, no sock 100 mouldy 10 keep her from her dedicated investigations. If an item was not obviously free gon1e.Celeste would resoI·t to intrigue in order lo uchit:Ve her objective. Once lluring a visit lO my grandparents' house, she stole u pork chop. To this day. I think thnt 111yl:\randmother still wonders where the bone went. In addition lo the pork chop incident. Celeste is credited with inhaling an entire ham in under 5 minutes, stealing n 3 pound hlnck of cheese. t:ating innumerable poorly guuroed louvt:s of brt:ud, and learning how to climb u cciling-hcight bookcase in order 10 gain ucct:ss 10 the chocolate bar well-hioocn Dn the !OP shelf (or so I thought).

The aforementioned. h<1wever, is mainly "people" food. While a diet .is describeo above would undcniably make Celeste fol, it would not necessarily hurm her. Unfortunutely. Fu1.1.y(as I also eallec.Jher) developed l1 penchant for laundry. My family prohably has gone through more poirs of socks in the lust year than the average family of four goes through in a decude.

Eventually, sht: got sick. Our lovely little purebred with the stomach or u stray heeame the family investment. In the lust six months of her life, Ga1·bageGuts· (us Mom cullcll her) vet bills probnbly could have sent a couple of people on a }-week lour of Europe. When we rculizcll that llt:spite our efforts. eleste wusn·1 gctting uny better. we gave up.

On January 14, 2002. eleste went w slet:p. I will 111issher. , I will miss huving to c.lrug her uway from putrefied salm(ln at the ri vcrhunk, I will miss having tn hioe my laundry and my chornlatl!, I will miss having to fight for the cnll of the bed. but most of ull, I will miss the unconditional acceptance n11d ulTcctinn she showed me and my family throughout her life.

Good hyc lJog. you wcrl! truly loved.