October 4, 2013

THE HILL NEWS e s t a b l i s h e d i n 1 9 1 1 a t s t . l aw r e n c e u n i v e r s i t y

Grouplove

FEATURING THE RUBENS

Fall Concert Leaves Us Tongue Tied SEE MORE ON PAGE 8 Inside this issue: ObamaCare and Government Shutdown Outline, Page 10

TODAY 71/52

SAT. 69/52

SUN. 69/57

10/4: KUNG FU Show at the Java Barn, 10PM - 2AM Photo by Christina Rukki

FRIDAY, OCTOBER 4, 2013

WWW.THEHILLNEWS.ORG

VOLUME CXXVII, ISSUE 4

OPINIONS

2 | THE HILL NEWS

Oh Sh*t, It’s A Shutdown

By CONNOR MARTIN ‘15 STAFF WRITER I overheard someone ask a fellow student this weekend if a government shutdown meant that marijuana is now legal.

Sadly, while this isn’t the case, there are a few interesting facts that I feel we should all be aware of, with regards to a government shutdown. Whichever side of the political spectrum you find yourself on, I think it’s safe to agree that we all want what’s best for the U.S. and its citizens.

Keeping that in mind, let’s consider the following: 1. Within a one-month government shutdown, a congressman will make more money than a minimum wage worker makes in an entire year.

2. Minimum wage bills were among the many that weren’t granted a vote, due to a total of 42 attempts by the House to shutdown ObamaCare.

3. Despite its contention in the House, ObamaCare has

been legalized since President Obama signed it into office on March 23, 2010.

4. This shutdown does NOT mean that the open-container law enforced by Canton Police is no longer in effect.

5. Nor does it mean that KSLU members can drop F-bombs without being caught by the FCC. 6. Or decide to grill a bald eagle.

7. You CAN however attempt to be a “Slutty Government Shutdown” for Halloween.

8. And consequently employ a series of cheesy themed pickup- lines like: “The Library of Congress is closed, can I check you out instead?” or “I’d approve YOU before midnight.”

Or, you could also just embrace the chaos and… go on with your life. Since 1977, there have been 17 government shutdowns and we’re still here.

THE HILL NEWS St. Lawrence University, Canton, New York 13617 • hillnews@stlawu.edu • (315) 229-5139

EDITOR-IN-CHIEF Amy Yao ‘14

ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT Chris Melville ‘14

MANAGING EDITORS Lexi Beckwith ‘14 Caitlin Matson-McDonald ‘14

SPORTS Joshua Cameron ‘15

NEWS Ally Friedman ‘15 Elle Lucas ‘16 OPINIONS Russell King ‘14 FEATURES Amy Feiereisel ‘15

PHOTOGRAPHY Christina Rukki ‘14

COPY EDITORS Hannah Kinsey Andrew MacKinlay Emily Rebehn Allison Talbot Brenda Winn

CHIEF COPY EDITOR Emma Cummings-Krueger ‘16 BUSINESS MANAGER Haley Burrowes ‘14 DISTRIBUTION Brett Ford ‘14

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OCTOBER 4, 2013

Letter to the Editor:

Revisiting the Incident at the Pub A group of maybe seven boys sit outside of the entrance to the Pub, dressed in jackets, shirts, and ties topped with sunglasses. Rumor has it that they’re Alpha Tau Omega pledges. Their faces are stoic and serious, as if they are conducting important business.

Having moved several tables and chairs, they sit in a semicircular formation, taking up a large amount of sitting space. Students are forced to walk in front of these tables in order to enter the Pub. On the table are a few paper plates with numbers written on them. As students walk by, each boy selects a paper plate and holds it up, for all to see.

What do the numbers on these paper plates mean?

Perhaps the boys are rating, on a scale from one to ten, the food that students are buying? No, that doesn’t make sense, because not everyone walking in front of the tables is carrying food. Maybe the boys are stating how well they know each person walking by, ten meaning really well and one meaning not at all? No, that doesn’t make much sense either, since they only hold up plates as females walk by.

These numbers can only mean one thing. They signify each boy’s opinion on the physical appearance of the women walking in front of them: whether they think she’s hot or not.

But it goes further than that. The significance of these numbers means so much more than the boys’ personal opinions. The numbers call attention to a larger problem of sexism and chauvinism that is prevalent all over this world; not even the bubble surrounding St. Lawrence can

resist it. The boys, sitting there in their monkey-suits and shades, judging girls based on their physical appearance, are saying to women: “I have more power than you, I am superior to you, and I only see you for your body rather than your brain.” Like it or not, this is degradation of women.

Some of you might be thinking, “relax, it was just a joke!” But it’s not funny.

Society loves to mask racism, sexism, and other forms of discrimination behind smiles and “light humor.” Anyone who has ever taken a gender studies or global studies course understands this concept. I hope that the majority of our student body recognizes this incident as a degrading act and will not tolerate it. Every girl is someone’s relative— would you ATO boys ever do this to your own sisters?

An offense to one woman based on her sex is an offense to all women. If you’re a male who respects women, you should be offended too.

The good news is that SLU administrators seem to understand the severity of the situation and they are in the process of investigation. The bad news: the evidence might not be conclusive. The boys may be able to use loopholes in university policy, saying something like: “Oh, I was just rating her food; you know, grilled cheese is my favorite.”

While the administration might not be able to punish these boys for their actions, the student body can. We know who you are and exactly what your intentions were each time you held up a number.

You were saying, “Yeah, I’d tap that” or, “No, not a chance.”

We have the power to say that what you did was wrong.

It was hurtful. We have the power to call you what you really are: arrogant, sexist, assholes.

But we also have the power to help you learn from your actions.

If we take a step back to demask this joke and call it what it really is- a sexist act- then we, as a student body and as a generation, are learning.

We’re learning what sexism looks like and what it means to discriminate against women.

We are learning that sexism is so ingrained in our society that it moves in subtle ways and sometimes, like in this case, you have to look hard to see that it’s there.

Once we do this, we can take a step forward and say that it shouldn’t happen again. We can say that we do not stand for this kind of behavior.

If we make it a conversation, we can spread awareness and knowledge. And knowledge is power. It is the fiercest kind of power that crushes the power of men over women, of white over black, and of rich over poor.

We, as a student body, know what you did, ATO. Rance Davis knows what you did. The workers at the Pub know what you did. But most importantly, you know what you did. So let’s all know it together. Why don’t you just come clean, ATO? You might even gain a little more respect if you admit what happened.

And if you don’t, we might be forced to rate you. And not on your looks or your style, but on your morals and values: the things that really count.

I’d speak up fast if I were you because, as of right now, your personality is rated zero.

Alie Mihuta ‘14

OPINIONS

OCTOBER 4, 2013

Hammertime: Farming

By EVAN MCKENNA ‘15 COLUMNIST Kneeling down, the unusually warm late September sun beat down on my back. I picked through the over-ripened tomatoes, most of which had exploded into decaying blobs that seeped into the soil from which they came. Plopping the just-right tomatoes into a bin, I carried them to be weighed out and split up amongst the Little Grasse Foodworks CSA (Community-Supported Agriculture) group.

Many students have CSA shares at Little Grasse, Birdsfoot Farm, or the Sustainability House- where their meal plan is supplemented with foods produced on-site.

Having a CSA membership involves paying a set fee to a local farmer and, in almost all cases, involves the shareholder working a certain amount of hours on the farm in order to receive their share.

Farm life has always interested me. Growing up in a city, the extent of my farming experience involved the one time that I went to the Illinois State Fair with my family; my brother fainted upon viewing a cow give birth. After that experience, I cannot say that I have been to many state fairs.

However upon coming to Saint Lawrence, I began to poke around the many farms in the area and took some classes on farming. Actually getting involved in the production of foods is one of the most rewarding things I have done.

Harvesting from the land, collecting eggs from the chicken coop, almost peeing your pants at the sight of massive pigs (read: boars) shuffling closer to you, and competing to smash rotten squash over the chicken coops are just a few of the many amazing experiences I have had on the farms of the North Country.

The point of becoming involved with local food is to form a relationship with the places and people who grow the food that you put into your body. Eating is as much of a social and community-building activity as it is a physical need to keep your body alive. Much of the community we create at SLU is formed around the tables of Dana and the Pub. Not that there is anything wrong with Sysco food (debatably), but harvesting some of your favorite foods and preparing an amazing meal with close friends is something you will not regret. Hammertime.

Dear Dub: Pregnancy and Pre-Cum

By Dear Dub, Can a woman get pregnant from pre-cum?

Simply put: yes, you can become pregnant from pre-cum.

Of course, nothing is ever that simple and often requires further explanation. When considering pre-cum, the actual pre-ejaculate fluid does not contain sperm.

Since you technically need sperm to become pregnant, you may be wondering how the heck pre-cum can impregnate you.

Let’s think back to the times when a guy has previously ejaculated. Sperm may be leftover in the urethra, the tube that semen travels through.

Since pre-cum is ejaculated in the same manner, the leftover sperm may then be released with the pre-cum and ultimately result in a positive pregnancy test. However, there is a way to help prevent this. Urinating between ejaculations flushes the urethra of this leftover sperm and clears the way for pre-cum.

This is definitely not a sure form of birth control, but at least take this into consideration. Those who insist on using the “pullout” method should definitely deliberate over flushing the tubes before placing it in the socket.

Another thing to consider, if

you are adamant over not using a condom, is the potential for Sexually Transferred Infections (STIs). Condoms are the most effective form of contraceptives that protect against STIs. We are not here to force any decisions upon you, but hopefully these fun facts might help you to understand your safest options

Those who insist on using the “pull-out” method should definitely deliberate over flushing the tubes before placing it in the socket. when it comes to sex. Simply talking about the potential risks with your partner may help to prevent the spread of unwanted infections. Naturally, talking about STIs with your partner becomes easier when you are in a consistent relationship, but bringing it up with a new partner is still a good idea.

“Have you been tested?” may be an iffy question, but it’s one worth asking in the end. Just be smart and safe with your body.

It’s the only one you’ve got!

To help keep Dear Dub going, email questions to sludeardub@ gmail.com. We can only write about it if you ask it!

Sincerely, The DUBers

THE HILL NEWS | 3

Saint: It’s Restaurant Week: the Saint: Getting Giddy with Grouplo- Saint: perfect chance to try that trustworthy Jamaican joint located directly next to the Ticker.

Stocking up at Walmart ve members at the Hoot. You didn’t get with your parents. That’s what their numbers, but you got their lips. they’re here for, right?

Purgatory: Rockin’ blue Purgatory: SUNY Canton Purgatory: Roadside liquor glitter on your face and a crop top at 10 o’ clock on a Wednesday.

zSinner: Throwing a

temper-tantrum and shutting down the government.

kids and creepy locals tipping the Ticker bartenders better than SLU people.

stores makes it easy for your rents to stop by on the way up. Being from NH has its perks.

Sinner: I’m sure the U Inn isn’t

Sinner: Seeing one of the

happy about those carpets, guy who let the Bar Tour get the best of him... at the third stop.

Ticker caricatures in real life and toasting to them with a signature Ballsack. Legacy.

The Government Shutdown: Alas, We’ve Elected Children!

By RUSSELL KING ‘14 OPINIONS CO-EDITOR & LIBERAL COLUMNIST

By MADDIE MOORE ‘16 CONSERVATIVE COLUMNIST

As of 12:01 a.m. on Tuesday, all non-essential government functions have halted. This has left monuments, parks, and many administrative agencies closed. 800,000 government employees are furloughed without pay (it should be noted that members of Congress are will still receive their salaries). When it is economically significant that 160,000 jobs are added in a month, imagine what it means for our economic recovery when over half a million are lost.

What is most concerning, however, is why the government shut down. It was not President Obama’s fault, as some rumors suggest. He is not a member of the legislature and only has veto power. He cannot filibuster for twenty-some hours, refuse to compromise, or generally stall on a funding bill until the government ceases to function.

It was not the Democrats. They are in favor of funding the Affordable Care Act. Furthermore, they have no need to respond to threats of a forced shutdown. ObamaCare has survived public opinion, special interests, votes in two Houses, three years of being law, and the Supreme Court declaring such as constitutional. The law is here to stay. America does not respond to the threats of terrorists; why should the Democrats respond to the threats of ideologues hell bent on taking down the law?

It cannot be pinned on the Republicans as a whole, either. Some Republicans actually support the law.

They are aware that it fixes many of the problems associated with American health care and that it finally gives coverage to everyone. Additionally, they realize that democracy is partially the politics of compromise. They understand that they ultimately lost the battle for ObamaCare. It is law, and that is that. There are other battles on which to spend their time and energy.

It was, rather, a small group of extremely conservative Republicans with enough political leverage to force the party’s hands. These are the Tea-Partiers, the Michele Bachmann crowd, funded by extremely conservative donors (like the Koch brothers) who continuously throw wrenches in the political machine. Their refusal to compromise, and their willingness to deny pay to hundreds of thousands of Americans, in the name of “helping America” is what caused the government shutdown.

If readers want to know where to place blame, it is with the gadflies of the Republican Party. Those who are too self-centered to compromise and so childish that they play games of brinkmanship with our government and people’s livelihoods.

Expressing stern disapproval can only get us so far, however. What can Americans do to address this problem? Write your representatives (provided that they are Republicans). Tell them that they must get past the gridlock, and that refusing to compromise is undemocratic.

Perhaps some structural reforms are in order.

I propose a vote, of a no-confidence type scenario.

The government is dissolved, and all members of the House involved lose their job. Additionally, no one is eligible for reelection. Perhaps this would incentivize compromise and an end of this gridlock.

For the first time in 17 years, the federal government has officially shut down. This means national parks, museums, many government agencies, military intelligence operations, Veterans Affairs servicesamong others- are closed for the foreseeable future.

Politicians on both sides of the aisle have begun an incessant blame game, hurling petty insults at one another. Meanwhile, hardworking citizens across the nation are left wondering what to do when their elected officials utterly fail at their jobs to keep the nation afloat.

While the concept of a government shutdown is much more frightening than its actual effects- Medicare and Social Security checks will still be sent out and military personnel will still be paid- it represents the pathetic inability of a highly divided government to compromise and pass a basic federal budget.

The media has placed much of the blame on House Republicans, framing John Boehner as a stubborn elitist and citing Texas Senator Ted Cruz’s admittedly ridiculous filibuster as the epitome of petty Conservative politics. While there is no doubt that Republicans are to blame for tying ObamaCare discrepancies to the larger federal budget, Democrats in the Senate and White House have made no effort to compromise with these Republicans on the budget proposal when it comes to ObamaCare negotiations. On October 2nd, President Obama stated in an interview with CNBC that he was “prepared to negotiate on anything” regarding the federal budget. Though once again, he has not made any attempt to compromise with House Republicans and take steps to reopen our government. Furthermore, House Republicans have introduced four separate budget proposals, which have included significant compromises on ObamaCare defunding and delaying.

However, they have each been quickly shot down in the Democrat-led Senate.

Democrats and Republicans can play the blame game until they are blue (or red) in the face. But the fact still remains that the United States government has shut down and this will have long-term effects on Americans. Politicians on both sides must realize that this is no longer a political game confined to the cushy offices of Congress and the White House, but that they are now gambling with the lives of honest, hardworking Americans. To me, they now have two options. One: Republicans can unlink ObamaCare and the federal budget for now, and address their issues with Affordable Care Act legislation later. Or Two: Democrats can agree to the spending plans set forth by House Republicans and delay ObamaCare implementation so that both sides can amend the complicated bill together.

Continuing the government shutdown and refusing to compromise is simply not an option.

If it were up to me, I would put Harry Reid (the Democratic Senate Majority Leader), President Obama, and John Boehner (the Republican Speaker of the House) in a room together and not let them out until they reach an agreement. If the leaders of our government are going to act like children throwing a temper tantrum, then let’s treat them like it. The livelihood and morale of the American people are at stake and politicians need to suck it up and do the job they were elected to do.

4 | THE HILL NEWS

Security Blotter September 25, 1:40 p.m. Stolen bike report from Sykes.

September 25, 3:10 p.m. Stolen bike from ODY library.

September 25, 7:55 p.m. Bike stolen from Dean Eaton residence.

September 26, 5:35 a.m. Medical call. Not alcohol related.

September 26, 6:00 p.m. Vehicular accident in A lot. No injury or damage to car.

September 27, 1:44 a.m. Room party in residence hall. Bong and propane torch confiscated.

September 27, 1:49 a.m. Medical call, alcohol related, transported to Canton Potsdam Hospital.

September 27, 2:07 a.m. Exit sign found ripped off the ceiling in Lee. September 27, 10:00 a.m. Small glass marijuana pipe and lighter found outside 62 Park.

September 27, 1:53 a.m. High-speed vehicle behind Hulett and Jencks. Grad student driver arrested after refusing to stop, DWI. September 27, 10:30 a.m. Security catches student smoking a join on porch of 21 Annex.

September 27, 8:30 p.m. Medical call, alcohol related, transport.

September 27, 8:46 p.m. Medical call, alcohol related, transport.

September 27, 9:30 p.m. Student used stolen security shirt to enter backstage trailers where band kept personal possessions, ran and stole a bike, then fled scene to Augsbury parking lot still wearing shirt, arrested by police.

September 27, 11:30 p.m. 3 students found on the roof of Johnson Hall.

September 28, 2:47 a.m. Canton resident caught stealing bike from Lee East.

September 28, 10:55 p.m. Liquor violation, underage student and non-student were uncooperative, arrested by Police.

September 29, 1:24 a.m. Student caught exiting room in Gaines and entering roof through window.

September 29, 2:43 a.m. Medical call, signed off.

September 29, 3:29 a.m. Exit sign ripped off wall of Sykes.

September 29, 8:30 p.m. Reported stolen headphones at Pub. SEMESTER RUNNING TALLIES: Bike Thefts: 19 DWIs: 1 Open Containers: 35 Transports: 19

NEWS

OCTOBER 4, 2013

L.E.F.T. Club Spearheads Local Currency Project:

What Can ‘North Country Hours’ Do For You?

By JOHN ROMAN STAFF WRITER

flected in the way which the local currency will operate.

The currency, referred to as North Country Hours, is based on (as the name might suggest) an hour of labor. Regardless of the labor provided, each North Country Hour is worth $10.

This aspect of the currency will promote economic equality as all services are rendered equal.

their services directly without any formal employment.

The currency is especially In November of 1992, the beneficial since it has geotown of Ithaca, New York ingraphical borders and theretroduced what today is the fore can only be used locally. largest and oldest local curThose who do choose to acrency system in the United cept and provide North CounStates. The concept of a lotry Hours will not only be cal currency is simple; there stimulating the local economy, isn’t enough money circulatbut they will do so at a rate ing in the economy, that exceeds miniso just print more “North Country Hours would be a great help mum wage by alof it. As one might most 3 dollars (even guess, Ithaca has en- to those barely making a living wage, sadly not more after taxes). joyed great success It is no secret that with this economic uncommon here in the North Country, one of minimum wage in experiment, that our country lags far New York’s poorest counties.” has since become behind inflation.

- Thomas Matt, L.E.F.T. President a model for simiThis “new minilar local currencies. mum wage” would The Student L.E.F.T. Club Community members will be a great help to those barely at St. Lawrence is confident then have the option to add making a living wage, sadly that a local currency would themselves to a North Country not uncommon here in the greatly benefit our local econ- Hours directory. This direc- North Country, in one of omy, as well as foster connec- tory will list names, addresses New York’s poorest counties. tions between students and and contact information as Overall the local currency members of the community. well as a list of goods and ser- program will provide a fair way The club was recently able to vices each person is willing to for community members and secure a $2,500 grant from exchange for local currency. students to exchange goods Thelmo to implement this Not only will this program and services and generate ofnew project; clearly L.E.F.T. is create a more level economic ten much needed extra income. not alone in their confidence. playing field, but it will also The directory-style marketThomas Matt, president empower sellers who previ- place for the program will faof L.E.F.T. Club, explains ously lacked markets for their cilitate connections between that the club is about explor- goods. Those trying to sell students and local residents, ing economic alternatives to skills such as piano lessons and allow people to capitalpure free market capitalism. or goods such as art will find ize on newly marketable skills.

L.E.F.T. is particularly inter- buyers much more easily given Anyone interested in the ested in ways to reduce worker the availability of a less for- project can find The L.E.F.T. exploitation and create more mal currency. The under/un- club on the third floor of the democratic economic insti- employed will also benefit as Student Center in room 336 tutions. These goals are re- they will be given a way to sell Thursdays at 7 p.m.

This Week in the News What is Thelmo up to?

Wednesday, Oct. 2 Office Hours: President Taylor Castator, Tuesday & Thursday 3 to 4 p.m. Vice President of Senator Affairs, Kelly Appenzeller, Tuesday 3 to 4 p.m. & Sunday 7 to 8 p.m.

Contingency Request: -TOMS Club requested money for t-shirts and paint for upcoming World Sight Day to raise awareness for blindness and visual impairment as well as TOMS’ cause. Motion to table until the coming week approved.

-Literacy for Nepal contingency request for t-shirts for their 5k “Bookin’ it for Books” (Oct. 12) passes with second approval.

Budget Proposal -Student Alumni Association budget proposal passes with second approval.

New Business: -Fall 2013 Bar Tour was a success: congrats to our King & Queen champions!

-Restaurant Week and Pink in the Rink Week continue into Parents’ Weekend!

By CATIE MATSON-MCDONALD CO-MANAGING EDITOR

the time. They could be facing up to 15 years in prison.

five terrorist have been killed and ll more arrested thus far.

North America: Veterans unyielded in visiting World War II monument despite government shutdown After Tuesday’s government shutdown, many national parks and monuments are closed to the public. World War II veterans remain unhindere, permitted by the National Park Service to visit the monument.

Latin America: Ten officers in Brazil to be charged with torture and murder Following the disappearance of Amarillo de Souza, a Brazilian construction worker, authorities have begun investigating the incident. The death of Souza has since caused massive protests due to the increasing police brutality and corruption in the nation.

Middle East: Mob leads attack on Russian Embassy in Libya The riots in Tripoli come a day after a Russian woman was accused of killing a Libyan air force offficer. Authorities later apprehended her, but charges have yet to be filed. Libya has issued a warning, advising Russian citizens from visiting the country.

Europe: 13 Greenpeace activists and a journalist charged with piracy over protest: Allegedly defying international human rights organizations and the objection of Putin, activists where detained after scaling the OAO Gazprom (GAZP) oil rig. They have been accused of endangering the lives of workers underwater at

Africa: Somalian terrorists declare more violence to come After the mall shooting in Nairobi last month, the terrorist organization Al-Shabaab claimed there would be more attacks in the future. Al-Shabaab claimed responsibility shortly after the shooting.

Kenyan officials have begun to take action to stop the violence;

Asia: Decorator charged with murder after building collapses in India The five story building in Mumbai claimed the lives of 61 people; residents were asked to vacate the premises in order to complete urgent repairs. Authorities are holding Ashok Kumar, the decorator, responsible, for having removed a central wall and support beams.

NEWS

OCTOBER 4, 2013

THE HILL NEWS | 5

New Clubs Abound On Campus

By CHIP GLOVER STAFF WRITER

By DAVID SMITH FEATURED WRITER Did anyone notice the large metal garbage can or the orange plastic fence out by the student center? Well, this past week, the Environmental Action Organization (EAO) got their hands dirty in analyzing how much the student population and food services throws out at the North Star Café, also known as the Pub. With the help of facilities, EAO was able to put on its first event of the year: Trash on the Lawn Day. The group sorted out the trash from this past Sunday on the old Java quad, outside the student center.

The reasons for sorting trash were to raise awareness of how much recyclables and compost we throw away in the garbage, and secondly, to generate data that can be used in future reports studying student habits. There was a consistent flow of dedicated volunteers throughout the day to help sort out garbage into three categories: garbage, recyclables, and compost. As part of the EAO leadership team, I am proud of our dedicated members for taking time out of their busy schedules to sort out smelly, wasp-infested garbage.

I encourage others who were curious about the event to join in and participate next time we have a trash on the

lawn event.

Measurements from this study will be used in a report generated by the Head of Facilities, Marcus Sherburne, and our Sustainability Coordinator Louise Gava.

After one Sunday, the pub generated 246 lbs. of trash which included contaminated recycleables, plastic food packaging, and food boats; 262 pounds of compost which included all food waste, napkins, and paper plates; and 61 pounds of recyclables which included any type of plastic and metal containers with a recyclable label. Overall, we found that it was a successful event.

There were less recyclables in the garbage than in years past, and it seemed that a good part of our trash could be reduced if the North Star Café added compost bins.

The leadership team of EAO would like to send a special thanks to our dedicated volunteers for helping out in the event, Marcus Sherburne and facilities for the behind the scenes work such as the infrastructure, Dr. Baldwin and Dr. Olendzenski for letting us borrow scales to weigh out our results, and to any others who were involved in making the event possible.

Keep an eye out for more events sponsored by EAO. Meetings are every Tuesday night at 7:30 p.m. in Hepburn 118.

Advertise it for free in The Hill News.

Email us at hillnews@stlawu.edu to submit a text or print ad.

EAO Trash the Lawn Day

IS YOUR CLUB HOSTING AN EVENT?

Photo by David Smith

Campus clubs and groups are a very popular way for students to get out and try new things, continue their passions, and meet new people along the way. Here at SLU, we have over 200 groups to choose from and many are just getting started. Three of these new clubs in particular include Lawn Games, Arabic Club, and a potential second men’s club hockey team.

Lawn Games is a new club that provides a great way to get outside and have a good time with friends in a relaxed environment. The club President, Ben Richards, explained how the club first got started. Last year he and his friends, as well as recently retired professor Peter Warden, started playing croquet by ODY library and had a blast doing it. After those croquet games, along with other gatherings on the Whitman lawn, they decided to get the club going this year. In addition to croquet, Lawn Games club is looking to organize Kan Jam, Bocce ball, Volleyball, badminton, Slacklining, Russian Horseshoes, and Cornhole.

The club is also open to any suggestions for other games.

Lawn Games club plans to meet two times per week, weather permitting. They already have over 120 signups gathered from the Club Fair. At the end of the year they are planning to host many larger events on the LIGHT House lawn as well as over at Java. Tell your friends about Lawn Games and contact Ben Richards to check it out!

The Arabic Club was officially started two years ago. Many students may not have heard much about this organization, because the club is really starting to get going this year. The purpose of the Arabic Club is to offer students with and without a background in the language, the chance to speak Arabic outside of class.

The club’s President, Matt Dudley, believes that to better learn the language and maintain a basic knowledge of Arabic, one must need to speak it on a day-today basis and that is what this club helps students do.

Currently there are about thirty members who meet weekly for lunch at Dana on Thursdays from 11:45 a.m.

- 12:30 p.m. and anyone is free to join in! Members of the club range from students who have spent a semester abroad in places like Jordan,

to students who are taking their first intro level Arabic course. No matter what kind of background in Arabic a student has, this club provides the opportunity to meet and get a chance to talk with others who share the same interest in the language.

The Club Hockey team has been around for quite some time now and holds competitive tryouts before the start of each season.

This year the team had over twenty returning players from last year, more than enough to field one team.

In addition, this year thirty additional players tried out, which meant many students were left disappointed.

Joe McGrath ‘16 is one of many students in favor of a new club; when asked, he stated, “There is definitely enough interest throughout the hockey community on campus to have [a team]”.

Tyler DeMilt ‘16 agreed, “There really isn’t a reason why there shouldn’t be a second team and the numbers are there to back that up”.

Though nothing has transpired yet in terms of the actual creation of a second team, there certainly seems to be plenty of interest. All that is needed is some ice and someone to lead the charge.

6 | THE HILL NEWS

features

OCTOBER 4, 2013

Ciderin’ with the Greenhouse Freshman Question:

By LAURA STASI and CONANT NEVILLE GUEST WRITERS Fall in the North Country means many things: vibrant leaves, the first puck drop of hockey season, crisp morning runs, vest weather and, if the year has been good, a bountiful apple harvest. New York is the second largest apple producer in the country, and our lovely Canton sits in prime apple country. One need only travel minutes along route 68 or route 11 to pass roadside orchards with branches laden with fruit.

Heck, there are even several apple trees on campus, including one in

front of Whitman, beside Lee East, and in front of the Noble Center to name just a few.

Before living in the Greenhouse our relationship with apple cider was limited to purchasing it from the supermarket or farm stand and pouring it into a glass. Occasionally Dear Old Dana would stock some local cider and we’d enjoy the welcomed surprise over dinner with friends. In recent weeks, however, we’ve been able to observe and participate in cider pressing in the comfort of our own back yard. Our beloved housemate, Jake, recently returned from Vermont with his family’s press and we’ve put it to use…

and then some.

What might seem like a complicated process is actually quite simple. With a few bushels of apples, you can quickly produce several gallons of cider. All it takes is a little elbow grease, a couple hours of good company and voila, fresh cider! The process is simple: feed apples into the chute, crank the handle and chopped apple bits fall into the mesh-lined bucket below. Once full, the press is lowered by a giant bolt that squeezes the juices out of the apple pulp. The runoff from the press platform pours into a container, and is now ready for drinking. The cider can be carefully stored in a breathable vessel for weeks. Be careful, though, as bottled up cider will start to ferment quickly if not tended to.

Be sure to keep your eyes and ears open for opportunities on campus and elsewhere to get your ciderin’ on during this beautiful season. And if you don’t manage to get your hands on your own press, make it a priority to partake in this process at least once at your friendly neighborhood Greenhouse. All the apples on our pesticide-free campus are ripe and ready for eating or pressing.

You haven’t truly experienced this glorious season as a Laurentian until you have tasted the caramel-colored liquid flowing fresh from a wooden press.

Your Greenhouse Apple Ambassadors, Laura and Conant

out after Twin Falls. Although a taller drop than Marge, Twin is more gradual and staying upright is easy for experienced paddlers. Plenty of boaters have sent Twin, but few have run Marge. On Twin Falls, it’s okay to be a tad off on your line, but missing it on Large Marge could be deadly. The margin of error is narrow with high consequences.

The sharp rocks forming a steep staircase are unforgiving and the hole at the bottom of the pourover can be meaty and retentive.

Meanwhile, paddlers must line up for it while running a class II rapid immediately above the falls. Instead of ending in a still pond like Twin Falls, the South Branch resumes into Whip-it Good, a class III rapid, after Large Marge ends. So basically, if you swim down Large Marge, you could swim down the gorge of Whip-it Good too. As I sat above the canyon, looking down at Rainbow Falls, I thought to myself: it’s a good goal, but I still don’t know if paddling it before I graduate is realistic. If by chance it’s ever ‘in’, I’d have to drop everything else in my life and capitalize on the rare opportunity. In terms of skill, I don’t think I’m ready yet either. I’d like to continue to build confidence on other waterfalls in the area first.

I’d also need to gather some courage before I thought about buckling into my kayak to drop it. I talk about how I want to run it, but talk is cheap, and if I’m not mentally ready, Marge will call my bluff.

This got me thinking about

how most of us set goals for our adventure sports even when they seem improbable. For some, it could mean climbing the legendary free ride multi-pitch of Wallface. For others, it could mean getting your 46er before you graduate. Some people want to place in a competitive mountain biking race. Pointing it down Tuckerman’s Ravine during a powerful blizzard is comparable as well. For me, it’s Large Marge. No matter what sport it is, we all have a tough mother that we dream about.

Although we are frightened by our goals, it’s healthy to keep them stored in our minds. Every time we get out there, we are working to toward that goal. It can seem daunting at times, but working towards them makes us stronger in our fields of adventure. If I could offer one piece of advice, it would be to take your time with it. Like Large Marge, more opportunities to run it will come up. Charge when you’re ready and, don’t be too eager. Even if our goals are not reached, we can still look back on our other outdoor careers at St. Lawrence with pride, knowing we killed it in many other aspects of the sport. I would like to say I’ve dropped Large Marge before I graduate, but who knows if that’s gonna happen. I know I will become a better boater just working towards it though.

This weekend is Parents’ Weekend. Stay tuned for Outing Club trips catering to families and the weekend orphans.

Peace be da journey.

Photo by Conant Neville

Boot ‘n’ Paddle: The Goal

By JP CAREY COLUMNIST Last week I led a trip to do some loungin’ by Rainbow Falls on the South Branch of the Grasse River. I have taken many leisurely visits to this stunning spot before, but when I think about running it in my kayak, my calmness turns to anxiety. This 30-foot stout also known as Large Marge is one of the natural wonders of the North Country; an untested challenge that looms over the helmets of SLU boaters. Because of insufficient water levels, this tough mother has only been ‘runnable’ a few times since I have been at SLU. It ‘runs’ occasionally during hurricane season in the early fall or during snowmelt in the spring.

When it does, it’s a hungry beast.

Right off Tooley Pond Road is the starting point for the whitewater section of the South Branch, one of the best creeking spots in upstate NY. Putting in right below Large Marge, boaters paddle Whip-it Good, Flat Rocks Falls, Adrenaline and take

What are YOU Hiding?

By OLIVIA WHITE STAFF WRITER

It’s common knowledge that your dorm room reveals a lot about who you are- or at least how the person you want others to perceive you to be. During the week, one may find history books and calculus notes scattered on various surfaces in your dorm, but on the weekends these materials may be swapped for other, more recreational items- anything from board games to bottles of booze. Fun-loving you is a side you’re more than happy to present to your friends, but those feelings of relaxed openness may not apply to your parents. When asked what items they’d be hiding from their parents, members of the freshman class replied with an honesty and frankness that they probably won’t use around Mom and Dad. Unsurprisingly, the number one response to this question was alcohol. Our freshmen will be storing everything from Svedka to Smirnoff and Busch to Bud. Add a little Jameson or

Captain Morgan to complete the freshman class cocktail.

Students will also stash necessary drinking accessories, namely shot glasses and those suggestive red Solo cups, for the upcoming weekend. Looks like it’s also time to find a hiding place for that empty André bottle, which became a proud trophy of achievement after you and your friends finished it off during your first night of celebrating at SLU. In addition, students reported to be hiding condoms (presumably unusedat least we’re being safe!) and marijuana along with various smoking accoutrements from their parents. Those too lazy to do laundry before hand will attempt to hide the appearance (maybe not the scent) of dirty clothes-hopefully all their own, but one student confessed to still being in possession of a recent hookup’s underwear.

We’re a charming bunch, us twenty-seventeeners!

Whatever it is we’ll be hiding, it’s pretty clear we won’t be fooling anybody. Welcome to dorm life at SLU, Mom and Dad!

OCTOBER 4, 2013

features A Fashion Affair: THE HILL NEWS|7

One Diva’s Explanation on Priorities

By SHANTEL STEPHENSON FASHION COLUMNIST

SLU’s a capella groups--the Saints, the UpBeats, and the Sinners

Family Weekend Entertainment

By MAGGIE McKERNAN STAFF WRITER

Family Weekend is approaching, and if you are anything like me, you’re frantically searching for events for you and your parents to attend. Your dorm room and Dana only hold so much charm.

So to fill in the awkward time gap between dinner and your parents heading back to their hotel for the night, how about attending a concert?

This weekend there wil be musical performances by the Laurentian Singers, SLU Funk, and an a capella concert by the Saints, the Sinners, and the UpBeats.

The Laurentian Singers are a select group of SLU students

directed by Barry Torres who perform regularly during the school year on campus and throughout the North Country.

They also tour nationally and internationally during Spring Break and this January, the Laurentian Singers will be touring Africa. The Laurentian Singers will be singing this Friday and Saturday, October 4 and 5 at 7:30pm in PetersonKermani Performance Hall located in the Griffiths Art Center.

SLU Funk will be performing Friday night at 9:00pm in the Underground, the basement of the Noble Center. SLU Funk is directed by Larry Boyette and this fall is its fifth semester on campus.

The group primarily focuses on funk and soul music from the

60s, 70s, and 80s but its two main objectives are to inspire people to dance and experience music, and to always have the willingness to play.

For a trio of tunes and some student-run music, on Saturday, October 5 at 9:00pm in the Gunnison Chapel, SLU’s a capella groups will be performing. This will include the Singing Saints, the student-run male group; the Singing Sinners, the allfemale group; and the UpBeats, a co-ed group founded in 2009.

There you have it: a familyfriendly, parent-approved activity for Friday and Saturday nights.

Now that you have entertainment taken care of, it’s time to get back to that pile of laundry under your bed...

Outfit of the week: Ting Ting from China. Her outfit was such a showstopper I had to stop her and take a picture. I spotted her heels from a mile away as she brought the runway to Canton, NY. Thank you Ting Ting for being my fashion inspiration.

Getting down to fashion, I live, breathe, eat, sleep, and make love to fashion. Honestly I’d rather shop than have sex.

Let’s have a moment of silence

for all of the gasps, looks of confusion, and “hell nos” that are going to follow this statement.

But my clothes keep me warm, accentuate my body without being clingy, and do not argue back or give me a headache.

A guy without the drama.

Many girls do not understand my love affair with fashion and how the right look can transform you inside and out, and bring out your inner diva and sense of selfworth. They say the clothes do not make the person but rather the person makes the clothes.

The reality of this statement is that it is an equal partnership and love affair between the clothes and the person.

In the spirit of What Not to Wear and my love affair with fashion, I will be having a contest for a makeover by me (girls only). This includes hair, makeup, and an outfit, along with tips and advice on how you can do all this on your own. You can either enter yourself or your friends. Email me at sastep10@ stlawu.edu stating why you feel you or your friend should be chosen, along with providing a picture.The lucky winner will be notified on October 9. All entries are confidential and upon permission your picture will be featured once the makeover is completed.

Welcome, Parents We’re Taking Excellent Care of Your Children, We Promise

Dear SLU Parents— Welcome to St. Lawrence. In case you’re confused about all the red cups and cans you’re noticing lying around campus this morning, don’t worry. These are actually camouflaged sprinklers and fertilizing machines used to ensure that our campus stays green and healthy. Before you head back home this weekend and fill the giant absence your child has left in your heart with a Pub cookie, I’d like to provide you with a few fun facts as you explore the glory that is our fantastic university.

On the outside chance your child is coherent enough to stroll around campus with you at the inhumane hours middleaged adults get up at, you may have noticed several fascinating buildings on campus, like, for example, Owen D. Young Library, a refurbished spaceship NASA decided to place on campus decades ago. Or perhaps you admired our glorious Lee, Rebert

and Whitman Halls lauded worldwide for their architectural prowess.

Additional to the spectacular sites, your children might have even dared to allow you to dine with them and their friends at our exquisite Dana Dining Center. If you ventured inside you may have noticed a pulpit in the middle of the eating area. This pulpit is used as a competitive eating area every Thursday and Friday night where spectators such as yourselves come from miles around to see which SLU student can consume the largest amalgam of pizza and deli sandwiches in under an hour.

Speaking of food, even if you can’t wait to say goodbye to your kids, you really should consider a Pub cookie. It may clog your arteries, but it will also leave a warm sense of guilt, cholesterol and satisfaction that will stick with you well into your golden years.

All the best,

Connor Martin

8 | THE HILL NEWS

arts & Entertainment

OCTOBER 4, 2013

This Week at ACE:

Despicable Me 2

The basic characters from the first movie return for another movie with a slightly different plot, in which a reformed super villain is reformed by relentless heaps of cuteness.

If you enjoyed the half-hearted warmth, insufferable characters, and horrible, hate-inducing anthropomorphic Cheetos of the previous film, you will probably like this one.

Shakespeare Comes to St. Lawrence

Photo by Christina Rukki

Moving in Stereo Talks to Grouplove

By WILL STANDISH COLUMNIST Last week saw a pretty phenomenal show by indie pop greats Grouplove grace our campus (I was there, jamming out as close to the stage as I could get). But before the show and the performance by openers The Rubens, I was lucky enough to get a few minutes to talk with Singer/ guitarist Christian Zucconi, singer/keyboardist Hannah Hooper, and drummer Ryan Rabin of Grouplove about their new album, life on the road, and the deception of happy songs.

Will Standish: Tell me about the title of your first album, Never Trust a Happy Song. What does that title mean to you and where did it come from?

Ryan Rabin: Sean [Gadd, bassist for Grouplove] came up with it.

Christian Zucconi: Shortly after our trip to Greece [before the band formed], we had come up with it, and this was before the band had even started and we loved it. As we kept playing and recording our stuff it became very apropos for our catalog, because we have a lot of these songs that start in dark places and have darker lyrical content but end up sending really vibrant and upbeat and happy. But we didn’t want you to trust them so, hence the title.

Hannah Hooper: We don’t even trust ‘em.

RR: Yeah, you can’t trust a happy song, basically, is what we’re saying.

HH: You could also listen to a happy song and feel super sad.

RR: Or some happy songs are really sad, lyrically. It’s that idea of songs taking different meanings for you as you listen to it more and it’s the same kind of way that we take our songs. We’re each very opinionated, different personalities with the five of us.

Every song means something different to us at a different time and takes on new meaning as we continue to play them. It’s the

idea of a song taking on different forms and striking different emotions.

WS: How do you think your sound has expanded between your last album and Spreading Rumours?

HH: I think we’ve gotten better as a unit. We’ve played live together for three years, and so when we went into the studio to record Spreading Rumours we were just like, better musicians, better friends. We’re like family, we have no secrets. There’s nothing to hide, so we just went into the studio and the album was just kind of, I don’t know, more honest, raw.

RR: The first album we’d only played about five to ten shows before we actually went in and started recording it. We weren’t in a proper studio; we were just at my apartment in downtown Los Angeles and everyone would go into this little room one by one and we’d kind of put things together like that, and this album we really got to be in one room together and really play the songs as they were kind of written, as a live band, which is kind of the energy we capitalize on from touring for three years straight.

And I think you can hear that in the recordings.

WS: What musicians, bands, or artists do you think influenced you the most?

CZ: Everyone has different influences and everyone’s influences are so different that we kind of influence each other and that’s what makes the music what it sounds like, you know? We all have so many different influences that it’s kind of hard to get into it. When you put five of us in a room together we influence each other, and that’s why the sounds are so all over the place.

WS: What was the best show you’ve ever played?

HH: The last one we played, probably.

CZ: The Bowery Ballroom in New York City.

HH: The Bowery Ballroom was probably the best CZ: It was an amazing show.

RR: And after tonight, tonight will be the best show.

CZ: All the shows we give our usually really awesome. We very rarely have a bad show.

HH: And when we do, we can call it the Mercury Lounge show.

That show was terrible (laughs).

We have a couple bad shows that kinda stand out.

RR: Like, our first New York show three years ago was horrible. There’s so much pressure in a hometown show.

Like, Christian is from New York, and Andrew [Wessen, guitarist] and I are from Los Angeles, and Hannah’s from San Francisco, so every time you play those major markets where you have family it’s always stressful. But, recently, the Bowery was really great, regardless of it being Christian’s hometown show.

HH: It was ridiculously good for New York. Normally we’re little stress cases.

WS: What’s the strangest thing you’ve ever experienced on the road?

HH: Strangest? Sean.

RR: Our bass player. Daily CZ: Yeah.

HH: It’s just daily weirdness.

CZ: (laughs) Yeah, he just beats everyone.

HH: You can’t expand on that.

RR: You just gotta think about it. Our bass player Sean, he’s the weirdest person we know, and he gives us weird experiences every day.

HH: Every day. Some good, some terrible.

WS: What artists and bands are you listening to now?

HH: I just downloaded Juicy J and Tame Impala, the new album.

CZ: It’s really good.

HH: That’s currently my list.

CZ: We’re waiting for some records to come out from our friends who we tour with, like Young the Giant are just about to come out with a record. Cage the Elephant in October, so there’s some stuff we’re really looking forward to hearing.

WS: All right. Thanks so much!

Have a great show.

By MEGHAN O’BRIEN STAFF WRITER The American Shakespeare Center is making another voyage to SLU for a four-day, three play performance schedule of Shakespearean comedy, history, and tragedy. Canton is one of many tour destinations for ASC’s 2013/2014 25th Anniversary World’s Mine Oyster Tour. This year’s on-campus performances include Othello, The Merry Wives of Windsor, and Henry IV, Part 1.

Each year, the American Shakespeare Center performs on tour at more than 50 performing arts centers, colleges, and universities nation-wide. The ASC was developed with the initiative to “help modern audiences recover the essential vitality of [Shakespeare’s] drama.” The ASC cast and crew works to align entertainment with education of the Shakespearean approach to theatre.

This year, ASC will perform Thursday, October 10th—Sunday, October 13th in the Formal Common Room of Sykes Residence Hall. My dearest SLUmans, I beseech thee to find a moment in the midst of thine weekend and see what William Shakespeare hath wrought.

The performance series begins with Henry IV, Part 1, as we soak in Shakespeare’s historically ridden portrayal of “family and friends; honor and happiness; and those moments when we are forced to choose between the thing we desire and the thing we know we must do.”

The second act of the ASC

The Rubens on stage

sequence is one of Shakespeare’s tragedies: protagonist versus villain, in Friday’s creatively entrancing classic, Othello. “A dangerous dance of deceit and revenge… love transforms into delirious ravings as characters descend into jealousy, fear, and rage.” Friday is not your only chance to soak up this unparalleled production—a second offer for theatrical delight returns on Saturday evening.

Come one, come all for Shakespearean comedy via Saturday afternoon and Sunday evening’s enactment of The Merry Wives of Windsor. Entertainment ensues as two clever Windsor wives entrance the lust-ridden Falstaff.

“Shakespeare blends romance, farce, and festival in his liveliest and most affectionate portrait of domestic life in Queen Elizabeth’s England.”

Buy your way to this fivestar event, right at your campus’ fingertips. At an infinitesimal $5 per ticket, this is an occasion to view something priceless. Tickets are available at the Student Center, Brewer Bookstore, or at the door.

Arrive early for good seat pickin’ and pre-show live acoustic music.

ASC Show Times: Thursday, Oct. 10: Henry IV, Part 1 @ 7:30 PM Friday, Oct. 11: Othello @ 7:30 PM Saturday, Oct. 12: The Merry Wives of Windsor @ 12:00 PM Saturday, Oct. 12: Othello @ 7:30 PM Sunday, Oct. 13: The Merry Wives of Windsor @ 1:30 PM

Photo by Christina Rukki

OCTOBER 4, 2013

Arts & Entertainment

THE HILL NEWS | 9

Senior Year Artist Spotlight: Erik Miller

By ANNA LAVANGER STAFF WRITER When I walked into the painting studio, my eyes immediately flew to a bright canvas depicting the cartooned head of Miley Cyrus, roaring in all it’s bleached and shaved glory, atop the smooth torso of a body builder. It drew a chuckle out of me and I proceeded to introduce myself to Erik. We chatted for a bit and I learned he had transferred to SLU from Hartwick.

While at Hartwick he had taken some drawing and digital art classes, and after transferring to SLU he continue on that path taking more drawing and started taking painting.

During his junior fall he went on the New York Semester where he took a class at the School of Visual Art involving graphic design and it’s impact on narrative. He also worked at a print studio where he got an inside look at a large scale printing process.

He informed me that he has always loved to draw and illustrate but has more recently started using

paint for his artistic pursuits. “I like to work very quickly, when I’m drawing digitally this is very easy, but I’m not as proficient while I’m painting, it’s a bit of a slower process.” Nevertheless he produces pieces fast for normal painting standards.

Working in acrylics (water based paint that dies quickly), he told me he finished “Miley” in about two days and another one of an emaciated, ghoulish Steve Buscemi holding baby Jesus in about the same amount of time. I was impressed.

His cartoonish, comic booklike work uses flat color and dark outlines consistently throughout his illustrations and paintings.

Most of his work depicts figures from pop culture or politics but distorts their image in some way or another, often “grotesquely” in his words. He calls it “proto surrealism pop art”. He says he is generally inspired by Americana pop culture, responding to this inundation of media through his work. He narrates some of his work with witty speech bubbles, some of which take the form of political cartoons. For his body of

Book Review: The Fifty Year Sword

By ALEX GLADWIN COLUMNIST Yes, I’m back already, and this week—as I did with last week’s review of Neil Gaiman’s The Ocean at the End of the Lane—I’m reviewing a book that has been released recently: Mark Z. Danielewski’s The Fifty Year Sword. Well, okay, it was released in 2005, but it was just released in the United States last year, so that counts, right?

Anyway, his short book, which is technically 287 pages but is readable in a couple of hours, is a bit hard to give a plot summary for. I’ll try, though. Five people simultaneously tell a story from, I think, their childhoods as orphans, when they were at a woman’s fiftieth birthday party. This woman slept with the husband of a seamstress, Chintana, which is awkward since Chintana is invited and watching over the kids. The narrators recall a storyteller that told them of a long journey he took to get a sword that is only a hilt but, when used on someone, will inflict the wounds on his or her fiftieth birthday. He has a mysterious black box in front of him the whole time. The night quickly becomes dark.

Alright, that’s probably the best I can do. The reason this is hard to summarize is because of the structure. The story is told purely through quotes from the

five narrators, who are always interrupting each other. Thus, the page is laid out as a series of nested quotations, making the story read like a long prose poem. The reasons for this could be many, but I think that it reflects the numerous stories going on in this book, many of which are nested inside of other stories—e.g., the storyteller’s adventure to get his sword being told to the orphans, who are recanting this story at a later date.

The result is disorienting but also engaging, perhaps in a way that a flat telling of the story wouldn’t have accomplished. And really, that’s the best compliment you can give experimental works.

This book is described, even in its own mini-introduction, as a ghost story. I disagree. It’s really a fairy tale—albeit a creepy, more adult one—that plays with the otherworldliness of the tales of yore and implements those strange elements into reality. Even the book itself plays with the odd qualities of fairy tales, such as with the use of nested quotes to highlight the storytelling, meta-fictional aspects, or with the numerous drawings that sometimes depict events in the story with an expressionist flavor.

The result is eerie when it succeeds, although often the effect is too distracting and the drawings so out of place as to border on pretentious.

Author Mark Z. Danielewski has

paintings he is currently working on, he is using found objects as his painting surface. Some are on slabs of wood fencing, one is on 2x4, and a couple is he just starting are on scraps he found in the stage craft workshop. He tells me these “found objects” are fitting with his content as he often takes completely separate ideas and puts them together in one work; “I take random, disparate ideas, and put them on random, found objects.”

For his SYE exhibit (it is a condition of studio art SYEs that you show your finished body of work publicly) he plans to show 20 or more pieces of a mixture of paintings and 11x17 digital illustrations, all of which he does on Photoshop. He hopes to show in a smaller space and have his work everywhere, in a sort of overwhelming of the space.

After seeing just the beginning of this process, I look forward to experiencing the show in full form; it will be interesting to be sure, and I think to some extent a cultural commentary I wouldn’t want to miss.

built himself on that fine line between intrigue and pretension, and admittedly here he does slip every so often. Still, overall, the unified effect of the story is that of a dark fairy tale, where the fictions we tell blend with reality and take over a much larger piece of us then we intend. The storyteller’s tale is gripping and filled with fantastic locations and people, but the fiction he tells reaches into reality so as to impact it. This is seen in the narrators, who are clearly affected by the story: they’re much older than children— as indicated by their wide vocabulary—but stunted, as indicated by their malapropisms and sometimes terrible grammar.

Every level of the story engages the impact stories can have, whether they’re real or not. I respect Danielewski for managing that so well.

I will admit that, for all of the good in this book, it does at times find itself too clever. Danielewski is talented, but he needs to reign himself in a little. As I just mentioned, he borders intrigue and pretension, but the times that he does go for the overly-strange, he screws up the ambience so much as to detract from the piece as a whole. The short length only emphasizes that. I think that this story is fascinating and gets better as it goes on, ending on an impressively chilling note, but it’s not as successful as Danielewski’s other major work: House of Leaves.

Ultimately, if you can dig some experimental style and unique tinkering with the medium of books, then you’ll probably find this one worth reading. It’s not perfect, but it is thought-provoking, the type of book that you will love to love or love to hate, and I can imagine that the vitriol this book might produce in some readers is worthwhile in its own way.

Worth Reading: Yes Director I Would Choose to Adapt: Miranda July

Second Breakfast:

Sad Stuff: The Movie (2013)

By CHRIS MELVILLE ARTS & ENTERTAINMENT EDITOR Prisoners (2013) The Plot: One Thanksgiving, Anna Dover (Erin Gerasimovich) and Joy Birch (Kyla Drew Simmons) go missing. In the following days their fathers, Keller (Hugh Jackman) and Franklin (Terrence Howard) desperately investigate as the police search, headed by Detective Loki (Jake Gyllenhaal), turns up little. As Loki attempts to do his job within the bounds of the law, Keller becomes more and more willing to test his own moral beliefs in the effort to locate his missing child.

Yeah, so maybe I should have told my friend that plot, and maybe I should have shown her the trailer, and maybe I should have warned her that it was going to be unpleasant, but I didn’t think it would be as unpleasant as it was.

Is now a good time for that, Other Chris? Yeah, I think it is. Introducing: the Sadness Scale. Fellow columnist and underling Alex Gladwin and I were preparing ourselves for Prisoners and trying to guess how sad it would be.

In the process we invented the Sadness Scale, which rates movies on a scale of 0-10 on how sad or unpleasant they are, where zero is The Princess Bride and ten is Take Shelter. For more reference, Roman Holiday is a one, Oldboy is a nine, The Place Beyond the Pines is a seven, Mud is a five, etc. Please note that this scale does not apply to children’s movies. That is a different scale, where Winnie the Pooh is a zero and The Land Before Time is a ten.

Prisoners is an eight.

Actually, for most of the movie it is a firm, solid, totally harrowing nine, but it winds up an eight. Otherwise, this is an excessively bleak movie. It is grounded in an aggressively unpleasant realism. Children disappear, and everyone knows what that means and what it means if the children do not turn up again within a week. That’s grim. That level of grim—that kind of Scandinavian grim—is dangerous. You want to avoid what I am now calling Top of the Lake syndrome, where you’re grim to the point of being bland because everything that happens is terrible and none of the characters are that interesting, because bad things happen to them and they do bad things in response. Prisoners narrowly avoids this common affliction. Prisoners functions well because at its core it is really focused on the characters and their moral quandaries.

As implied, the two main characters are Keller and Loki. Their arcs are separate, but comparable, though they are not foils for one another. Keller is driven by unadulterated emotion. He turns from determination to ferocity to flat-out wrath. This arc is well-developed alongside a calculated religious presence in the film. Most of the characters (especially Keller) are practicing Catholics, so typical Christian and secular definitions of right, wrong, justice, mercy, and redemption are constantly at odds with each other. The film does not take sides, condemning one ideology over the other, but rather it acknowledges the numerous strengths and weaknesses of each. This comes as a pretty nice break from what has become a standard “Catholics are crazy and bad” trope. So, as Keller’s faith in God is tested, so is Loki’s faith in himself and in the legal system. Each man is tested on his own terms, Keller as a Christian and Loki (who is notably named for a pagan entity) as a government agent. They will need to meet on a middle ground in order to succeed at all.

Both Jackman and Gyllenhaal deserve Oscar nominations for their performances. Actually, pretty much everyone in this ensemble cast delivers a performance worthy of some level of awards recognition. It will be interesting to see if this movie gets the recognition it deserves or if it came out just a tad too early for the Oscars to remember it, because no one suffers from short attention spans like the Academy. The ingenuity and realism of the actors function well alongside the beautifully grey direction from Denis Villeneuve. Both elements are exactly what Aaron Guzikowski’s original screenplay needed. Everyone I’ve mentioned so far in this review in connection to this film did their job well and should be praised for that. Though Prisoners was an incredibly unpleasant film, and I am in no hurry to re-watch it, it has earned its slot in the awards running.

Will it live up to the buzz or will everyone forget about it by the end of the year? I don’t know.

There is one thing about Prisoners that really bewilders me. I’m utterly confused by it and the movie itself didn’t clear anything up. In fact, the movie only confused me more on this particular point. The big resounding mystery for me is how, in any reality, was Prisoners ever number one at the U.S. box office for a week. I mean, what? How? Kafwug?

NEWS

10 | THE HILL NEWS

OCTOBER 4, 2013

Gettin’ Down with the Shutdown

Closed for Business:

The Government Standstill for Dummies

By ELLE LUCAS CO-NEWS EDITOR

Photo: Associated Press

ObamaCare: the Affordable Care Act explained

By BRENDA WINN STAFF WRITER On Friday, Sept. 27, the House of Representatives advanced a bill that continued to fund the government at its current level. However, it eliminated the funds appropriated for ObamaCare. For months, there have been threats inviting the prospect of a government shutdown if the Senate did not agree to the House’s decision before the deadline of Tuesday, Oct. 1.

ObamaCare is President Obama’s patient protection and Affordable Care Act that was signed on March 23, 2010. It states that it was created to “provide affordable, quality healthcare for all Americans and reduce growth in health care spending and for other purposes.”

ObamaCare is an ongoing effort to reform the national health care system.

It requires all Americans to purchase insurance by taking funding from Medicare and increasing taxes. There is a 0.9% ObamaCare Medicare tax on all those making over $200K as an individual or over $250K as a business or family, comprising 1.5 and 4.2 percent of all taxpayers.

ObamaCare is predicted to

lead to rationing of healthcare, as everyone will have covered insurance but there will only be so many available times to give people the healthcare needed. There will also be an increase in wait time for routine treatments due to the increasingly high demand.

ObamaCare is an easy option for those who don’t understand health insurance, but to others ObamaCare is seen as a dangerous precedent that will lead to further federal takeover of other segments of the economy.

Healthcare makes up approximately 20% of the US economy, and ObamaCare is predicted to take over most of this industry.

In the last year, the Republicandominated House of Representatives have passed nearly 40 bills passed in attempts to repeal ObamaCare; none were able to pass in the Democratic-controlled Senate.

The Oct. 1 deadline pushed Congress even further from agreement on ObamaCare, thus provoking the shutdown.

ObamaCare would have a profound impact on the North Country. Payment to physicians, especially in rural areas like the St. Lawrence County, would increase significantly. Approximately 2.7 million New York residents do

not have health care, though with ObamaCare, 1.1 million of these citizens would receive health care in addition to Medicaid. Excellus Blue Cross Blue Shield, MVP, and Fidelus Care will provide health insurance to people of the North Country, with an average monthly premium payment of $328.

The true impact on college students would depend primarily on their family income and the insurance that they already have.

ObamaCare could potentially be beneficial to students, because they would be able to enroll in plans without the threat of being denied coverage due to a preexisting condition. These plans would provide free services, annual checkups, prescriptions, and substance misuse services.

Students, then, would be receiving aid with the services of the utmost importance in the college years. Students who annually earn less than $46,000 or have families that annually earn less than $94,000 may be eligible for free access to coverage through Medicaid or discounted coverage from monthly tax credits depending on their home state and income level.

1. What is a shutdown?

Huffingtonpost.com cleanly defines it like this: “A government shutdown occurs when Congress fails to pass a spending bill and the government discontinues providing services that are not considered “essential.” Typically, essential services include police, fire fighting, armed forces, utilities and corrections. Interestingly, Congress and the president are exempt from the furlough and continue to receive compensation despite the fact that other services are suspended.”

2. Why did the government shut down?

The government’s fiscal year ends on September 30. By October 1, the spending bill for the 2013 fiscal year had not been passed due to discrepancies within the House and the Senate which prevent continuation of federal funding.

3. What does it mean for SLU students?

Nothing yet, but this depends.

Unless your parents work for “nonessential” government agencies or your next vacation is planned at a National Park, the effects of the shutdown will most likely only reach our realm of the North Country if you’re looking to renew your passport and head north.

4. What does it mean for everybody else?

Currently, it means that 800,000 federal employees who have been deemed “nonessential” are temporarily out of work. These include anyone from national park rangers to IRS agents. The Environmental Protection Agency has furloughed 96% of employees while 15.5% of the Justice Department has also been

given an extended holiday.

5. How long will it last?

As long as it takes for Congress to agree on this year’s spending budget. In the past, shutdowns have lasted anywhere from 3 days to 3 weeks.

6. What’s being done to fix it?

Congress officials and the president have been involved in talks since Tuesday’s halting decision, determining the next steps in finalizing the budget for the 2013-2014 fiscal year.

Already, several proposals from the Republicans have been rejected by both the Senate Democrats and Obama. As yet, it is hard to predict what’s to come.

7. What’s the link with ObamaCare?

The Affordable Care Act isn’t directly tied to the shutdown.

Rather, it is a piece of a larger puzzle: passing the federal budget. A group of Republicans in the House believe that aspects of ObamaCare (which was officially passed into law in 2010) are so bad for our country that, according to CNN, “it is worth disrupting government funding to undercut it.”

8. Has it happened before?

Yes. Under the Clinton Administration, the government shut down for over 3 weeks from 1995-1996.

9. So who is getting paid?

The president is still being paid his annual $400,000 salary.

Congress members and active military will also receive their typical paychecks.

10. Now what can you do?

Sit and wait. While doing so, feel free to update your social media profiles with witty memes, videos, articles, and shutdown pick-up lines to express your feelings.

The above figures demonstrate two schedule change options currently under debate between Faculty and Staff. Changes will be enacted in the spring of 2014, to varied reception from the student body, coaches, and professors.

Saints Sports

NATIONAL RESULTS

10/01 Canadiens v. Maple Leafs L 3-4 10/01 Blackhawks v. Capitals , W 6-4 9/30 Ravens v. Bills, L 20-23 9/30 Patriots v. Falcons, W 30-23

WWW.STLAWU.EDU/ATHLETICS

Week 4 Fantasy Football Results

By BRANDON DI PERNO STAFF WRITER

Leaders: Peyton Manning: Manning remains a top tier fantasy quarterback after throwing for 327 yards and 4 touchdowns, if you’re lucky enough to have him on your roster you’ll be looking at 29.08 fantasy points this week. It’s also worth noting that Manning set the record for touchdowns in the first four games of a season.

Photo courtesy of the New Jersey Devils

Tony Gonzalez: After a dreadful week 3 performance, Gonzalez was spectacular versus the Patriots’ defense. He had 149 receiving yards as well as 2 touchdowns. Gonzalez was targeted 14 times during the game; it will be interesting to see if this becomes a trend. He had 26.90 points.

Adrian Peterson: Adrian Peterson was phenomenal Sunday when he rushed for 140 yards and 2 touchdowns. Matt Cassel eliminated fan worries as he moved the ball extremely well. Owners of Peterson can relish in this trend and continue to start him with confidence. He gained fantasy owners 26.00 points.

Reggie Bush: Everyone, including Bush, was worried about his knee as he started Sunday’s game.

Needless to say, he looked fantastic as he throttled the Bear’s defense rushing for 139 yards and 1 touchdown, as well as 34 receiving yards. He gave fantasy owners 23.30 points this week.

Photo courtesy of SB Nation

Rule Changes Coming to the NHL

By WILL MESINGER

STAFF WRITER

The NHL season began on Tuesday night and has brought with it a new set of rules.

So far, the league has implemented a new maximum leg-pad length for goalies, that is approximately two inches shorter on each pad. Also, the nets will be more shallow, being trimmed down four inches in depth and two inches off of each side, giving players more room to work behind the goal.

The league hopes these changes will lead to higher-scoring games, but players, goalies and coaches have expressed their doubts. Goalie Jimmy Howard (Detroit) stated, “I really don’t see much of a change just because of the way everyone plays defense nowadays.

Everyone packs in tight.”

Perhaps the most controversial change has been the enactment of a new visor rule. Beginning this season, all new players entering the league must wear a visor, while current players may choose whether or not to use this facial protection.

If a fight instigator is wearing a visor, they will be assessed a two-minute minor penalty.

The league has anticipated that players will remove their helmets to fight; to counter this, they will assess a two-minute minor penalty to any player who removes their helmet

for this purpose. Krys Barch of the New Jersey Devils and Brett Gallant of the New York Islanders, however, managed to find a loophole during the preseason. The players each purposely took off the other’s helmet, thus avoiding the two-minute minor penalty.

However, it is expected that the league will close this loophole soon.

The threat of class-action law-suits coupled with concussion research data has likely prompted the league to take steps to make the game safer. What the NHL hopes to see is an increase in player safety and a decrease in the amount of fighting. A player may want to fight, but will not want to risk injury due to the presence of a visor. Furthermore, players may not be able to afford hurting their team with a twominute minor for removing their helmet or instigating a fight while wearing a visor.

These rule changes indicate the direction the league will continue to pursue in coming years to see a faster-paced NHL with more scoring and less fighting. This is the direction the NHL has been heading for years, and can be seen in their previous decisions to eliminate the two-line-pass rule and to implement the trapezoid rule for goaltenders. The league is shifting away from “old time hockey,” for better or for worse.

Alex Smith: Smith was incredible as he led Kansas City to their fourth straight win versus the Giants. His passing yards seem to increase each week, as he threw for 288 yards, got 2 touchdowns, and rushed for 37 yards. Smith is proving to be a great starting quarterback and delivered 23.70 fantasy points.

Busts: Russel Wilson: Wilson struggled against the Houston defense throwing for 123 yards, no touchdowns, and 1 interception. He rushed for 77 yards and looks to bounce back next week against the Colts. He gave owners 10.62 fantasy points.

Maurice Jones Drew: The Jaguars were throttled by Indianapolis Sunday, and that took a huge toll on Drew, who failed to get anything going. He rushed for a dismal 23 yards and 5 receiving yards and only 2.80 fantasy points.

Chris Johnson: Johnson was abysmal in a blowout win against the Jets Sunday. He rushed for only 21 yards and 10 receiving yards. Fantasy owners should be disappointed in his 3.10 points.

AJ Green: Cornerback Joe Haden had a huge effect on AJ Green on Sunday as he delivered an appalling performance. He had just 51 passing yards and delivered only 5.10 fantasy points.

Desean Jackson: The Philadelphia wide receiver couldn’t find his zone Sunday as he had only 34 receiving yards and 3.40 fantasy points. This marks the second week of struggle for Jackson, who looks to bounce back against the Patriots.

Under the Radar players: Ryan Broyles: Broyles hasn’t played to his ability this season just yet, however with Burleson out for up to a month he has the ability to become a huge option for the Lions.

Brian Hoyer: Hoyer, who has been starting in place of Brandon Weeden, continues his stellar play as he leads Cleveland to their second straight win. He’s averaging 19.05 fantasy points a week and would be a solid quarterback pick-up.

Justin Blackmon: Blackmon returns this week and is expected to start. Look to him to gain you some fantasy points this week as Jacksonville grasps for any weapon to escape the hole they’ve found themselves entrapped in.

Rashad Jennings: If McFadden and Reece are ruled out of Sunday’s game, Jennings has the potential to get a lot of touches. He’s proven in weeks prior that he is more than up to carrying the workload, however, his last two weeks have been disappointing.

Alshon Jeffery: Jeffery led the Bears in receptions and put up a great fantasy line because of this.

Expect this to continue as he becomes one of Cutler’s favorite targets. He continues to improve each week and is a great fantasy pickup if you need a reliable receiver.

Saints Sports

LATEST RESULTS

9/29 Men’s Golf, L. L. Qualifier 5th of 7 9/28 Volleyball vs. Bard, W 3-0 9/28 Football vs. Union, W 30-20 9/28 Field Hockey vs. Skidmore, L 1-3

WWW.STLAWU.EDU/ATHLETICS

Women’s Ice Hockey Hosts UNH; Move Record to 1-1

By MACKENZIE CONDON STAFF WRITER

The women’s ice hockey team began their season on September 27th and 28th, facing off against the UNH Wildcats at home in Appleton Arena. Although the two games against UNH were non-conference, they were the earliest season games in the Saints’ history, and were a great way for the team to begin its season.

Chris Wells, the head coach of the Saints, is beginning his sixth season coaching the women’s ice hockey team with a record of 9967-21, and is looking forward to their upcoming season. He feels that the girls will have a tough

pre-season as they are to face additional non-conference rivals including Harvard, Quinnipiac, and Boston College among others, all ranked highly on a national scale. Wells expressed that he “expect[s] the first six games to help identify strengths and areas that we will improve on heading into the conference schedule.”

Three seniors are acting as captains for this year’s team and they are Dayle Wilkinson (defense), Mel Desrochers (defense), and Rylee Smith (forward), who have all contributed as major leaders in the team and led them to their first victory on Friday night.

The Saints’ won the thrilling

game on Friday 4-2, and it was the first time in twelve seasons that UNH lost their season opener.

Cheers were loud at Appleton during the goals and enthusiasm from the team was just as high.

UNH put pressure on the Saints’ on Saturday and recouped their loss from the previous night with a win against the skating Saints’. The energy from the women was high for both games and their effort was outstanding and more than enough to impress their coaches.

The Saints’ will face off against Clarkson next weekend Friday night at the Clarkson arena and Saturday afternoon at Appleton.

Online streaming is available for both games.

Q&A with Bailey Habscheid

By RACHEL URBAN STAFF WRITER Sport: Hockey Age: 21 Hometown: Swift Current, Saskatchewan, Canada Major: History & Canadian Studies Minor: Sports Studies and Exercise Science How long have you been playing golf?

Since I was 5 years old.

What got you started with the sport?

Photo by University Communications My brother started playing and I wanted to be like him when I was little, so I started playing as well.

What is your favorite memory of playing hockey at SLU??

Winning the ECAC Championship my sophomore year.

Who have been the most influential people for you at SLU? Tyler Wood and my parents.

What do you love most about competing?

The intensity and atmosphere of Appleton Arena; just hockey in general.

What is your favorite thing to order from the pub?

The steak special on Steak Night.

What songs would you recommend for this weekend’s playlist at the Ticker?

I like country, but I don’t think that would go over well at the Ticker.

Do you have any advice for student athletes?

Enjoy every moment and make the most of your time here at SLU. Do you have any set training regiments?

I like playing soccer with my team. I also always tie one skate, then tape my kneepad, and then do the same on the other side.

Photo by Amanda Heubner-Lane

Seniors Honored After Tough Loss

By THOMAS MATHIASEN STAFF WRITER

On Weds., Sept. 25th, the Saints Volleyball team suffered their fifth loss of the season to rival Clarkson University.

The home game at the Burkman Gymnasium had a crowd of supportive fans, many of whom wore white t-shirts to create a crowd “white out”. Although the Saints lost 0-3 (8-25, 15-25, 25-27), the home crowd kept cheering for their team.

The Saints record improved, however, to 11-5 throughout the weekend as the Saints captured

Anything else you would like to say to your fellow Saints?

I’d like to give a shoutout to my Senior Class!

Support the Saints!

Men’s Ice Hockey v. Carleton (Exhibition) Saturday, October 5th Appleton Arena, 7:00 p.m.

Women’s Ice Hockey v. Clarkson Saturday, October 5th Appleton Arena, 3:00 p.m.

Photo by Christina Rukki

wins against R.I.T, Vassar and Bard. The win on Saturday was extra special as the game was the

Senior Recognition game. The Saints play again on October 4th at Union.

SCHEDULE Friday, 10/04 Men’s Soccer vs. Rensselaer

Sandy-MacAllaster Field, 4:00 p.m.

Saturday, 10/05 Football vs. Rochester Leckonby Stadium, 1:00 p.m.

Saturday, 10/05 Women’s Tennis vs. Plattsburgh State Sammis Courts, 1:00 p.m.

Saturday, 10/05 Men’s Soccer vs. Union Sandy-MacAllaster Field, 2:00 p.m.

Inspirational Quote of the Week: “Everything bad is good for something, and, inversely, everything good is bad for something else.”

-Dr. Martin Hlubocky