Welcome back to the cabin Who knew putting together an issue inspired by the 80’s would be so hard but also so much fun. You forget how many gems really sparked those childhood memories of being terrified and thrilled all at the same time. My dvd collection is littered with walks down memories path ‘s and it’s even more thrilling when your love of horror was born from an 80’s film. We’ve kept the issue sort this time round, just to keep it fun and light but make sure you check out Jack and Stan’s as they write up a storm as they always do. As always we thank you for being part of the family and we hope you enjoy what we do as much as we enjoy doing it. Cassandra Regan Editor.
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Hello Cabin dwellers! Hope you’re all enjoying my lo-fi vintage style cover for this issue, it was great fun doing something a bit different! As this month’s issue is an eighties issue, I wanted to pop in briefly to talk about a film that started off the decade with a boom. That film is Stanley Kubrick’s “The Shining”. The film is an unmitigated classic, steeped in iconography and genuine movie magic, the likes of which continues to inspire film makers and film goers today. It’s not just any horror movie, it may be the greatest ever made, and it opened the 80’s with a wave of unsettling terror and unparalleled artistic flare. Like all of Kubrick’s films, “The Shining” is meticulously detailed and has been studied by many; from film students to movie critics. The film even stemmed a popular documentary “Room 237”, that featured a collection of popular conspiracy theories in regards to the films hidden meanings. But how much do you know about “The Shining”? This month will mark the 37th anniversary of the films U.S release in 1980, so here in our Cabin in the Net eighties special, here are 10 things you might not have known about the masterpiece of modern horror! 1 – Radios, electric heaters, and Somerset House In the summer of 2016, an immersive exhibition of art inspired by the films of Stanley Kubrick was installed at Somerset House in London. Among the exhibits were many that paid homage to “The Shining”, notably a large sculpture of the Overlook Hotel made out of electric firer heaters that were all on full power, an office full of radios from which choral voices sang the opening theme of the film and other mentions around the exhibit, such as installations featuring upturned cardboard boxes and tins like the hotels walk in larder, and the floor of the gallery being fitted with the famous hexagonal pattern that adorns the floor of the Overlook Hotel. 2 – The Shining twins in… Spongebob?! In the latest SpongeBob movie “Spongebob Squarepants: Sponge Out of Water”, Plankton crawls inside SpongeBob’s brain to find himself in a colourful and overly sweet candy land that represents his mind. He turns around and is confronted with “twin” lollipops with two sticks who, in girlish voices, say to him; “Come and play with us Plankton, hurry, before we melt!”, this surprising reference to “The Shining” mimics the scene in which Danny meets the Grady twins in an abandoned hall of the hotel. 3 – One small step for Kubrick, one giant leap for mankind. According to certain theorists, details in “The Shining” point towards evidence of the popular theory that Stanley Kubrick was appointed by NASA to fake the moon landing in 1969. Apparently, the scene in which Danny wears an Apollo rocket ship sweater and stands up from a hexagon the carpet surrounded by toy vehicles is a deliberate detail to mimic the space craft taking off from NASA’s hexagonal landing pads. He walks from the hexagon to room 237, a change from the books room 217, allegedly because the room at which Danny arrives represents the moon. The number change was allegedly to indicate the distance from the moon to the earth; approx. 237,00 miles.
4 – Come and play with us Andy. “Sponge Out of Water” is not the only kids film to be influenced by “The Shining”. Many references are made to the film in Disney/Pixar’s trilogy of “Toy Story” films. In the first “Toy Story” film, the carpet in the house of the bully next door Sid is the same as the pattern in the Overlook Hotel. In “Toy Story 3”, the registration plate of the garbage struck is RM237, a clear reference to Room 237 from the film. Also in the same movie, the model of the CCTV cameras in the sinister day-care centre is “OVERLOOK R237”, a reference to room 237 and the Overlook hotel. There are a few other references to look out for, keep your eyes peeled! 5 – “No one listen to Shelley.” We all know that Stanley Kubrick is a perfectionist, it’s how his films are so thorough and well put together. But sometimes his perfectionism can put cast members in harm’s way. In the case of “The Shining”, Kubrick wanted Shelley Duvall’s performance to be as natural as possible. Unfortunately for Duvall, she was playing a woman trapped in a hotel in the dead of winter with a possessed axe murderer. Kubrick made sure that both himself and the other cast members caused Duvall to become as anxious, alienated and depressed on set as possible. She began to lose her hair and developed anxiety disorder during the shoot. She later thanked Kubrick for the horrific treatment, as it got out of her the best performance of her career. 6 – Red Beetle, Yellow Beetle Stephen King, the author of the book from which “The Shining” is adapted has not restrained in the past from expressing his dislike of the film in comparison to his original work. However, Kubrick was also not shy about his open disregard for the source material, including subtle hints that the film is a very different beast to its literary source. A fantastic example of this is the change of the Torrance family’s red Volkswagen Beetle to a yellow one. Not only is the colour change a clear disregard for Stephen King’s book, but later on in the film while Halloran drives through the snow we see a car at the side of the road; that car is a wrecked and mangled red Beetle like that which appears the book. Point taken Stanley… 7 – “I don’t believe in hell.” Continuing the theme of Stanley Kubrick not really giving a toss about author Stephen King or what he thought about the adaptation of his novel, it was noted that during the production of the film, Stanley Kubrick had almost no contact with King whatsoever. According to King, the only real contact he had with Kubrick was phone call early in the morning, a conversation that involved Kubrick calling King and saying simply “I think stories of the supernatural are fundamentally optimistic, don’t you? If there are ghosts, then that means we survive death.” King then spoke briefly to Kubrick about the concept of hell. Kubrick said “I don’t believe in hell.” The conversation ended there.
8 – The other Stanley. The hotel in “The Shining” was inspired by a hotel called The Stanley Hotel in the snowy mountains of Colorado. The hotel has since been the subject of many ghost hunting TV shows and is said to be haunted, though of course it isn’t. The Stanley Hotel play up to this attention however and rightfully so; playing “The Shining” on loop in the lobby and making the R-Rated version available on televisions in every single hotel room. 9 – The impossible architecture. The layout of the hotel in the hotel is fraught with issues that make the placement certain rooms and corridors impossible. These issues are, like pretty much every other detail in “The Shining”, absolutely deliberate and contribute to a unique and unsettling aesthetic in the film. Corridors lead on to places that they physically can’t, windows that look onto the exterior of the hotel are there where they physically can’t be. It’s a very early sign that the hotel isn’t what it seems and worth looking out for on repeat viewings. 10 – The other set of twins. Other than the eerie Grady twins, there is another set of twins when it comes to “The Shining”. While they are alike in almost every way, there are some subtle and crucial differences. These ‘twins’ are of course the two versions of the movie, the U.K and the U.S.A version. The U.S version is slightly longer and was never distributed in Britain. Therefore, it was a while before I personally ever saw it! The films longer run time is due to a few additional scenes, namely a scene in which a psychiatrist analyses Danny and his interesting gift, and a scene of Wendy frantically running into a room filled with cob webs and skeletons. If you’re a fan of “The Shining” it’s definitely worth watching this longer version. If you’re in the U.S and you’re reading this, the U.K shorter version is equally interesting. I hope you’re enjoying this groovy 80’s issue so far! If you have any questions or thought for me, email me at jdelfick@gmail.com. Pull up your leg warmers, put on your Walkman and keep reading for some more retro spooky goodness!
Wings in the Night by Sandro D. Fossemò
The noble mantle of the night envelops the moon, shining behind the black wings of a bat. The demon has sensed the smell of blood from the depths of the cave. The wind blows between gloomy pines, driven into the immense sky. The spectral light of a motorbike illuminates the pond, at the foot of the white rock. My dear bat... guide me through the darkness, where I can warm myself in the abyssal dark.
From the darkened window of my farm I enjoy the night, in the light of a candle!
In this magical eternity I will not fear daylight, because before dawn I will dissolve in the fog. Among those fatal wings I want to see the splendour of the stars. Allow me to fly above the charming peaceful countryside. Let the wind dry my tears. My dear bat... come and drink the blood of my heart and feed on the sleep of mankind!
Art by: Luciano Astolfi
Deciding what I should attempt to survive this month has been difficult. I’m more limited to what I can choose from as it’s just from the 80’s but there are so many good movies to choose from! I had to narrow it down somehow. First off I decided to get rid of movies I’ve already covered either in survival or vs meaning Gremlins. Evil Dead and Hellraiser were off the table. Then I thought maybe I should do Child’s Play but I figured it’d be too easy as an adult and too difficult as a kid (I wasn’t a very bright child, some would say I’m still not a very bright child… or adult). Then I yawned and realized it was staring me in the face the whole time. A Nightmare on Elm Street. An iconic movie and an iconic villain. Parodied many a time. You’re in the most danger when you’re in your most vulnerable state – asleep. I consider myself something of an expert in sleep. Sure I don’t have any knowledge of the science behind sleep or the psychology of dreams BUT I do sleep most nights and I do sleep like a log. I also love doing it so if I don’t survive then at least I’ll die doing something I love. Without further ado then Would Stanley Survive A Nightmare On Elm Street? Let’s start with first Survivable Moment™ of the film which happens instantly when Tina is stalked through a boiler room. She comes across a sheep and is startled as anyone would. A sheep isn’t supposed to be in a boiler room which would be my first hint something is awry so I’d be on guard. Now this is where I see me having some issues as Freddy can appear anywhere. I think I’d wake up as Tina does and when I noticed the rips on my night gown (they’re comfy) I’d probably not just assume I’d done it myself even if my mother did. We have passed this round. In the interim between Survivable Moment™ 1 and 2 we have a rhyme that explains what to do when scared of Freddy and Johnny Depp tells us how he would handle the situation so now we’re backed up with knowledge the strongest form of back up I’ve heard. Now this was why I was excited to do a Would I Survive (WIS) on an 80s movie, the characters aren’t the smartest of people. So Survivable Moment™ 2 you wake up in a
dream where everything is the same as real life, you’re confused and think it could be real life. You hear a voice whispering your name from outside. This is where I’ve already survived because like hell am I going outside. I’m going to get back in to bed and sleep. On the off chance I do go outside I’m definitely not following the voice in the lane. On the off chance I do follow the voice in to the lane I 100% do not stop and watch when the guy with knife hands and scarred voice says “watch this”. Tina dies at this point because she gets in to a fight with Freddy and he is a supernatural dreamweaver. I however have survived this one because I am so S M R T.. I mean S M A R T. 2 for 2 so far let’s see how I get on with Survivable Moment™ 3. I nail it again! This movie so far is a lot easier to survive than the others I have done. So you’re tired in school and you fall asleep. Tina appears to you bloody and in a body bag who then disappears. I would understand if it was my friend who I thought died had visited me in my dream normal and then wandered off, I probably would follow. I would not follow a body bag and I would try and wake up. I wouldn’t follow a body bag that was then clearly pulled by an invisible force. I might go in to the boiler room if I hadn’t seen a corpse disappear that way. Nancy was clever burning her own arm to wake up though so gotta give her some credit. Guys I’ve survived this one as well. I might make it through a whole movie!
Survivable Moment™ 4 is tricky. Nancy hasn’t had a lot of sleep and is in a relaxing bath. Her mum warns her to not fall asleep but who ever listens to their mother! I’m not good when running on little sleep and if I have a bath I make it relaxing. I have fallen asleep in the bath before, I didn’t drown clearly but if Freddy pulled me under then I think it’s entirely possible I’d be out of this one. Damn, I was so happy to be winning but looks like I’ve drowned in the bath guys.
Survivable Moments™ 5 and 6 I’m going to double up. Firstly, Nancy goes searching for Freddy and finds him. This is a smart move to be honest because it never hurts to have knowledge about your enemy, as I said above something about Knowledge and Power. The only bit I would probably change so I survive is the alerting Freddy to my presence. It may mean bad times for Rod but this is Would Stan Survive not Would Rod Survive and ultimately I’ve gotta look out for myself. The second part so 6 is getting hung by Freddy when you’re asleep. If I, like Rod, woke up with a noose around my neck mhy fingers would go straight in to the loop to hold it off my neck. People were rushing enough that I would have been saved and probably lent more credence to the whole supernatural killer story. Survivable Moment™ 7 hahahahaahahahaha No I would not survive this. This is impossible to survive and honestly not sure why Freddy didn’t just whack this out on everyone. You’re lying asleep, you get sucked in to your bed an erupt in a fountain of blood. It looks cool af and is the way I would want to go. No survival in this one. Survivable Moment™ 8 and the final survivable moment is the climatic battle between Nancy and Freddy. Nancy absolutely knocks this one out of the park. She sets up traps with a cool ingenuity and also has some moxie about her fightback. I think that this is the one where the film character outclasses me massively. In school studying electronics and doing a building project my teacher said “I hope to god you never become a surgeon” due to my clumsiness and poor hand eye coordination. I would suck at setting up traps and although I could probably fight Freddy a bit those gloves would slice in to me like a stick of butter. I would also never think of dragging Freddy to the real world. I’m going to say I wouldn’t survive this moment and Freddy would be chowing down on my sweet, sweet remains in no time. (There is absolutely no indication that Freddy eats any of his victims but I bet he would eat me, sick bastard.) So there we have it. Stanley Surviving A Nightmare On Elm Street. I did quite well. I think the bits where I fell down were mainly due to it being impossible to survive except the bath and also the end. So not really unsurvivable bits except the bed. Poor J Depp. I hope you’ve all enjoyed reading this and that you have enjoyed our 80’s themed issue. The 80’s were rad for horror and also for slang I.e rad which come to think of it could be 90’s. Anyways hope you all survive? Poor sign off my bad. Peace.
Do you think you can survive like Stan? Get in touch and let us know.
When the idea of an 80’s themed issue sprang to mind, I knew I would have to look back to Lucio Fulci to see what he brought to the table for the 80’s and let me just say the man did not disappoint. Aenigma finds us at an all-girls college in Boston and with an all-girl college you are bound to find that the girls have found a duckling to torture and torture always ends up badly. In this case, a coma. Welcome to the 80’s! Bad hair, bad make-up and work out gear and introducing the man of the 80’s the pig Fred. A playful slap on the butt and a twinkle in his eye, he really is a self-loving jerk who gets what’s coming to him in the most delightful way. For the full 80’s expericene I decided to go for the budding option because nothing says 80’s Italian horror like some dubbing and it wasn’t half bad. Lucio for me is the grandfather of gore but the gore was a little lax in this one that said death by snails is a whole new one to me. It doesn’t matter how much you put in noises of munching snails they are still too cute for me to consider them a threat, now if they had all been slugs!? Wow that’s a whole new ball game. Now I can’t pretend like this film doesn’t smell of Stephen King’s Carrie but in a slightly different way. Scorned teenage girl, a horrific prank and the body count is going to rise! Of course the idea is not wholly unique to Mr King but when such a big film and novel makes an impression its hard to see something that might be unrelated as related.
It would appear that 80’s horror is 80’s horror no matter where you are in the world. Sexy girls, pig headed men, a smooth doctor and a sound track to memory lane, the recipe is the same but the taste is always different. There was not a chance that we could not also mention another classic 80’s Italian horror and that my friends Is ‘Demons’ directed by Lamberto Bava, this film does not shy away from what I love about Italian horror, the gore. The Italians know how to do eye horror.
‘Demons’ finds us in a large movie theatre, that is infected by demons, simply. Hungry demons chasing after teenagers and kill them for our viewing pleasure. Ah man, I don’t know if something was lost in translation but the film didn’t make a whole lot of sense, ha! None of them do and that is the main pull for me at least. I found holes all the way to the end but one thing I do adore is that in most 80’s Italian horror, no one explains a thing. There aren’t a few lines of dialogue nor a flash back insight. Shit is going down, deal with it. This film grated me somewhat, the number of women screaming I had to turn down the volume. Jeeze the 80’s loved dumb arse women who needed rescuing, don’t worry ladies the men are here to save the day. Lucky for us. Well shit, I’m not down on the male species at all but this decade bar a few films really wanted to show how dumb women were and sure I guess that’s what horror still loves to do. Naked and vulnerable. Zzzzzzzz This film however is a visual feast of 80’s hair and outfits, white suits, punks and coke. Lots of coke. Of course, it is, it was made in the 80’s but there is something fun and what on earth watching it back today. With the gore level turned up high the film really is a hit of heroin and with a sound track to die for, I’m not surprised it holds a special place in people’s hearts. I felt every hair being ripped from my head as one unlucky movie goer has the same fate. Yes I got to call you out film, why would you kill a blind man? That. Is. Low. Tell us your thoughts on the Italian 80’s horror. Was the 80’s their year? What is your favourite from the decade, don’t be shy! Get involved.
An 80’s revival? Directors: Jeremy Gillespie, Steven Kostanski, Writers: Jeremy Gillespie, Steven Kostanski Stars: Aaron Poole, Kenneth Welsh, Daniel Fathers Shortly after delivering a patient to an understaffed hospital, a police officer experiences strange and violent occurrences seemingly linked to a group of mysterious hooded figures. I kind of freaked out when I first saw the trailer for ‘The Void’ for more than a few reasons. There was no getting away from those effects in the trailer. They are absolutely beautiful and terrifying and it was of little wonder that people where calling it odd to John Carpenter (or rather Rob
Bottin, I’m sure) and it also got me a little worked up because it looked unique, it was funded on Indiegogo and it looked big! I was positively hyper waiting to see it. Also the trailer made me think of a book I had just read and for a second I thought ‘oh shit, this is someone else idea and they have no idea!’ after watching the film I can safely say the films is very much its own monster. This film is a visual feast of epicness! Yep that’s a word, deal with it. The neon colours, the red hues it really gives this film a distinct look and feel. I love a film that uses corridors and this film knows how to use corridors. It also reminded me very much of the film ‘Splinter’ along with
‘The Thing’ both film I love so it works for me. The story left me somewhat confused and it had all the right elements to chill me in the bone but it missed the mark for me, just slight and I really wanted to love this story. The problem for me, and this is as you know my own opinion is that there is too much going on story wise. I feel like we had four or five stories all trying to take centre stage and while I can’t not be a total hard arse about it because these stories where all amazing ideas I just wish one or two had stuck. Of course there is the main story of what’s going on alas I couldn’t grasp it so a second viewing is going to be a must. I think in one scene this is shown when everyone is shouting and arguing at once and I’m like ‘this is cool, I like how everything is confused no one knows’ but after I thought I’m confused. Hey this
could just be me, if you followed it and understood all of it, perhaps I need to get on that rewatch asap. As I’ve mentioned the film had so many cool effects and I wish I could have been shown more, there were a few moments where I was told rather than shown and the more films I watch the more this grates on me. I couldn’t have made the film so no disrespect at all, just a mere observation. Over all this film is one mammoth victory for its creators. It is a rollercoaster ride of grim, nostalgia and good horror. I’m hoping to send it to the mothership on its dvd release. I really hope the creators stay with this vain of horror making, I am very excited to see what they do next. Like good horror their imagination seems to have no bounds and no set formula which can lead to anything and go anywhere. 4 out 5 stars
Number three: It wouldn’t quite be an 80’s issue without my top five horror picks of the decade. So many to choose and only five spaces! Without a doubt, I’ve missed off a few classics but hey, it’s my list after all. Number one:
John Carpenter’s ‘The Thing’ 1982 Men, doing men’s work discover that they are not alone in the dark after all. Who can you trust? Did you even doubt that it would be number one!? I proclaimed my love for this film in issue one after all and it never gets old. It was my first love, it showed me what good horror is and it introduced me to Rob Bottin. I love him, but then you knew that. Number two:
Lucio Fulci’s ‘The Beyond’ 1981 A man is killed, a blind woman with a dog and some creepies in the basement. Who will survive? A picture more terrifying than Dorian Gray. Again if you are an avid reader of the Cabin (of course you are!) then you know my love of Lucio started with this film. The only film in my memory that made me raise my hands in front of my eyes and peek through due to the gore I was seeing on screen (hey I wasn’t scared) Lucio is my Italian love.
Clive Barker’s ‘Hellraiser’ 1987 Curiosity killed the cat and now his soul belongs to the devils in the dark and the angels in the walls. See what I love about 80’s horror is that my love of horror was born from that time. These were the films I grew up with, granted I was far too young to be watching them but the mothership was cool and it did me no harm. Well, I kind of love pinhead so you decided if I’m messed up! Number four:
Brian Gibson’s ‘Poltergeist 2’ 1986 When the dead want to play, you have no choice. I enjoyed all of the Poltergeist films and while I feel the first film is just a little bit better, the second film has Kane, played by the talented and scary Julian Back. The Kane story is the story I want to see! Shame it was never made. Number five:
Kevin Tenney’s ‘Witchboard’ 1986 You can’t trust the dead, even little boys called David Calm down, I can hear you from here. This film holds a special place in my heart. Sure it’s not the strongest story or acting but TTFN darling! Another
trip down memory lane with the mothership and it also promoted me to buy my own board when I was old enough which I still have to this day. No I’ve not reached out to David. So that is my top five of the 80’s, now let’s see what Stan’s got for us! Take it away Stan…
Stan’s Top 5 Horror Movies of the Nineteen Hundred and Eighties. Looking at the horror movies from the 80s I can already tell that I underestimated the amount of quality horror that arose from the 80s. This would be difficult if I was doing a top 10 so narrowing it to a top five is going to be a nightmare (get it because horror. I think my survival skills have increased but my jokes are definitely getting worse) (My use of parenthesis is also getting out of hand). Without further ado and a slight amount of cheating let’s count ‘em. In no particular order Numero 5
Hellraiser (1987) and Hellbound: Hellraiser 2 (1988) A bit about it – I’ve covered the badassness that is Kirsty Cotton in a previous issue in a vs article. Basically the story tells of a girl escaping a group of demons called cenobites as they hunt down her ressurected uncle who is murdering people with the help of his lover/ sister in law. Yeah pretty simple concept.
Why I love it (them) – Badass protagonist? Check. Body horror? Check, Mysterious and cool as hell looking creatures? Check. Pinhead is truly iconic and one of the most unique horror monsters from the time or of all time in fact. They are also movies that allow so much expansion but leave enough to the imagination of what’s going on behind the scenes. (We’re not talking about the further sequels) Number 4
The Shining (1980) A bit about it – Don’t lie, you all know The Shining. A family goes to a hotel to look after it over the winter. The hotel has a “slight” problem with the supernatural and eventually drives the caretaker insane. Why I lover it – There are so many nuances due to Kubrick’s direction but ultimately it comes down to the tension and the rising feel of dread. King didn’t like this iteration of his book because it waters down the supernatural element and the alcoholism metaphor. I agree that the book is a lot better and would urge you to read it but the movie is fantastic as well. I don’t think I’ll ever get the bathtub woman scrubbed from my brain and Danny doesn’t either if you’ve read Dr Sleep the sequel to the book. Nummer 3
Childs Play (1988) A bit about it – A murderer possesses a child’s doll. To escape the body of the doll he has to do a voodoo spell on the first person he tells the secret
which happens to be Andy. Shenanigans ensue. Why I love it – This was one of the first horror movies I watched when I was a kid so it holds a special place in my heart due to that. I think it was just scary enough to scare me but not scary enough to actually mess up my fragile little mind for too long. The idea of having a kid be the one who knows the secret is good because obviously no-one is going to believe him at first. Numbre 2
They Live (1988) A bit about it – A Drifter finds some sunglasses that let him see the truth behind media and people in power. Namely subliminal advertising and humanoid aliens. He fights his way through his revelation. Why I love it – It’s a cool concept, a good satire and as relevant to today as it was back in ‘88. Also the visual are awesome. Nummeren 1
Evil Dead (1981) and Evil Dead 2 (1987) (duh) A bit about it – Ash Williams and some friends travel to a small cabin. They find the necronomicon and inadvertently set loose some pretty evil stuff. There’s a lot of gore and horror until finally Ash is the only one left. UNTIL some new people turn up and then there’s more gore, death and a chainsaw. Why I love it – Ash Williams growth in to a badass is pretty good. The effects were fantastic for there time and are
still very entertaining. It’s balls to the wall crazy and Evil Dead 2 is incredibly fun. I’ve talked about why I think Ash is great before but they are some stellar movies. I’ve also recently watched all of Ash Vs Evil Dead which is fantastic. Did your favourite make the list? Let us know! We’re a friendly bunch.
Between Midnight and one, something unknown came out of the fog. There is nothing like a good old head to head with Stan and for this issue we’re a brining you 80’s treasure ‘The Fog’ Vs ‘Smallville’ no I’m kidding. Who doesn’t love a ghost revenge story, with a slow build, sexy Jamie lee Curtis and the smooth voice of a radio host. If you don’t perhaps ‘The Fog’ isn’t for you. The fog came to life after ‘Halloween’ after John and Debra were over at Stonehenge and noticed a fog bank, mix that with comics that John read as a boy and boom we have ‘The Fog’ I have sat and watched the film about four times and while I do enjoy it, it is not my favourite film, that said it’s got more class than the remake. The slow burn you get with this film, the realisation of the horror that is truly going on, seems rushed and so in your face in the remake. Of course audience tastes have changed so you can’t always bring back the old and shoot it the same way. People now expect more, they want more but I still think there is no need to lose the magic of the old ways or in fact the films they are remade from. That said, I don’t like the idea that studios think people are getting less smart, maybe they are but I’m not judging anyone. I say that because if you compare the films side by side, the remake is a mess. I’ll break it down: 1980: The founding fathers kill a boat load of people to steal their gold and no doubt get away from the sickness. 100 years later, the pissed off ghost are back to claim six lives for the lives of the six that took theirs. Seems legit enough. The last death (Spoiler) is father Malone, who’s grandfather was part of the massacre. 2005: The founding fathers kill a boat load of people to steal their gold and get away from the sickness. 134 years later, they are back to claim the directed dependents of the people who killed them. What ensues is a lot of people with last names that
match up to the last names of the people who killed them all those years ago and for good measure let’s through in a reincarnated wife! So finally the girl with the nightmares knows that she drowned on that boat. Over kill is what I am calling It people, sorry but it’s true. Let’s keep the story nice and basic, believable to a point and then really let the story, characters, direction, music and effects play the story out for us. I don’t want to be told all this, so it all ties up in a neat little bow. Yeah ok I do know that in the 1980’s film the do read from a dairy therefor being told and not shown but sometimes this is needed. After all the original film coast $1 million dollars to make and the remake $18 million dollars. So, what are we getting for the additional $17 million dollars? Big names actors, I’m not sure you can get anyone bigger or better than Janet leigh. Cool effects, bigger effects, soulless effects because that additional money did not buy them a good way to take the story and make it their own without stuffing too much in. We don’t need five reasons on why it’s happening. People got killed, the ghosts want revenge. Now show me that revenge in a unique and fun style and we are talking. Ok, so I’m being rather harsh on this one and I had no idea I had so much anger in me for this film but it seems I do. As I’ve said it is not my favourite film, I’m not fighting anyone to the death over it but its mine to defend and defend I will. Sure it has it flaws and a far bit of the original had to be reshoot and somethings added to make it extra creepy and I think that’s great, that they sat back and thought, no it’s not working let’s fix it. So more close ups were added, more everything really. A whole scene with Jamie Lee Curtis in the morgue was added, which you can tell from her different hair. This was added to ramped up the terror, I for one did not think it was needed. However the lighthouse scene with Adrienne Barbeau as Stevie Wayne on top of the lighthouse trying to get away was a fantastic addition to the film and I am glad it was added in. One thing I must admit I like about the 2005 remake is Selma Blair, sure she doesn’t have the voice but she really does put in a solid performance and she’s kick arse and for me carries the film like a leading lady should. If you put into YouTube making ‘The Fog’ you can watch a video that explains that they didn’t mean to have Jamie Lee Curtis on the posters as she wasn’t the lead, Adrienne was but they thought after Halloween it would best to market the film that way and it seems the remake ran with that poster as Elizabeth is the lead very much in the remake, given that she someone’s dead wife after all and she is the catalyst for all of it. I just feel the remake doesn’t have the heart of the 1980’s one, the cast is mostly wooden, do let us know if you’ve seen Tom Welling give a real performance anywhere. While the film is ‘bigger’ it losses its intimacy and with that my interest. If it wasn’t a remake, would I like it? Hard to say but I think not.
As always let us know your thoughts and a big shout out to Stan who’s taking on the 2005 remake, good luck mate.
Me and Cassandra are liasing with one another about what to do this month’s vs. Original vs Remake? That seems like a good one to go for. Especially with the 80’s theme! Well let’s not cover something we’ve talked about before so as Ash Williams has been done Evil Dead is out. Cassandra then mentions The Fog. I didn’t realise they remade The Fog but great let’s do it. I’m a gentleman and also had never seen the remake so I offered to do cover the remake. I preface this piece with this because I don’t want you all to think that Cassandra forced me in to covering the remake or in any way had anything to do with it. The first thing I did after agreeing to cover the remake was to take a quick jump over to Google… Shit. The Fog (1980) racks up a hefty 6.8 IMDb score and a strong 71% on Rotten Tomatoes. The Fog (2005) gets a paltry 3.6 on IMDb and an abysmal 4% on Rotten Tomatoes and at that time I realized that I had made a huge mistake. Anyway then I had to actually watch it which was a whole new ordeal. This is my story. Also I’ll try and find some positives but I think Cassandra has won this one. One of the main issues with remakes and one of the reasons they get so much bad press is because not only do they have to be good but they also have to beat the rose-tinted nostalgia goggles we all wear. We have to want to watch these movies and engage with the story a second time at a different point in our life when we already have a set idea of what the movie should be like. So, to people who remake movies, credit for trying. That being said, I see no reason that this movie needed to be made. The production values on this film was ok. The special effects were slightly above passable. The actors were alright but they weren’t given enough to do. The story is similar to the original but is worse. It wasn’t all bad though, there were moments like the mirror fire thing that was pretty cool. I’m conscious that this isn’t really a vs and is turning in to me ripping on this movie whilst Cassandra is probably just writing about how the original Fog is a pretty good horror. I should probably try and get this back on the right track but honestly I really don’t have much to say about this movie that is good or would surpass the original. The story isn’t very compelling and none of the characters are given any amount of depth. I think the characters were probably the thing that let down the movie the most if I’m honest with you, which I always am.
Essentially what I’m saying is that if you want to watch a film called The Fog watch the original. If you want to watch a horror movie then choose a different one. If you want to watch a remake of a horror movie then there’re others that are better. If you want to go more specific and want to watch a remake of an 80’s horror movie then watch The Evil Dead. If you want to go very specific and watch a movie called The Fog from 2005 that is a remake of an 80’s horror movie then you don’t have much choice but you’re an idiot. Yeah not a great vs this month guys and I apologise but you win some, you lose some and I consider myself to have lost this one considerably.
If you love the bants get in touch! We won’t to hear your views. Which film gets your vote?
Many films came before the 80’s but being a child of the 80’s this is where I draw my words and knowledge from, join me won’t you? As we take a walk down the 801’s path of horror. The Evil Dead – 1981 That women are not off limits in any shape or form in the 80’s horror film. Mostly stupid and nearly always need saving. While the Evil Dead may have taught me that I love Bruce Cambell, It also taught me that it’s ok to include a demonic tree that can and will rape women, because of course a demonic tree couldn’t possible rape a man or you know, not rape anyone. A Nightmare on elm street – 1984 Then the 80’s teaches me that women are kick arse and can save themselves. (unless they find themselves in the last house on the left, perhaps Wes thought it was time that his women took back the night) also that even in your sleep you are not safe from the depraved child killer that your parents took care of all those years ago. Sometimes killers have a wicked sense of humour. Poltergeist – 1982 The TV is not your friend! And that building homes over an Indian burial ground is the most stupid thing you can do, hell building houses on a cemetery is a dumb arse move. Also this film teaches me that children are creepy and clowns no matter what from they take are also out to kill you. The Thing – 1982 Paranoia goes hand in hand with isolation. Also, not understanding a foreign language can be catastrophic. In this case, if the men could have just said the dog has rabies and needs to be put down or it killed a child. Pop. Bye bye doggie. This film also teaches me that not even fluffy doggies are safe.
An American Werewolf in London – 1981 You can have the sickest on screen transformation and still have me laughing my arse off at the decomposing body of a friend. This film teaches me its ok to laugh and to be slightly spooked at the same time. Also, nurses are sexy and they will want to sleep with me if I am injured. Its best if you are injured on the moors. Childsplay – 1988 Something little girls have known for a while, dolls do come to life and in the dark they want to hurt you. Also, the fact that everyone struggles to kill a fricking doll suggests that they are shit aims and really don’t want to protect themselves or a small child from a killer doll. I mean come on! He’s plastic. Hellraiser – 1987 Do not play with puzzles. They are puzzles for a reason. This film also taught me about true love. A man who gives you good sex is worth killing other man for so he can consume them. Skinless men are sexy and we all want pinhead’s babies. Frightnight – 1985 This 80’s classic taught me that vampires are to be feared and are not sexy beings who want to make their eternal bride. No matter how much you push Colin Farrell at us. That creepy guy next door is creepy and keep him away from your mother! The Howling – 1981 This one comes in hindsight, just because Rob Bottin did the effects for this film, does not make it good. End of. Wolf sex, fun times. The Fly – 1986 You can give me the sexy and alluring Jeff Goldblum but you cross that with a fly and even I can’t stomach what they came up with. Keep your legs shut or you may find yourself the mother of a maggot. These films gave me my love of horror but over time most of them have become classics and with good reason. Yet there is no escaping that the 80’s had many magical and disturbing moments and for the most part, even if for the most part it’s not very evolved.