t he
BODY IMAGE issu e
[ I s s u e 4 Vo l u m e 6 4 ]
NAO M I J U D D
layout design by jacqui mccarty
CONTENT / CONTRIBUTORS
YOUR BODY HEARS EVERYTHING YOUR MIND SAYS
04
editor’s note
06
making peace with mirrors
08
an open letter to the 9-year-old version of me
09
agreements and acne
10
bodied image/imagined body
11
the beginnings of my body image struggle
12
what men won’t admit
14
the opposite of beautiful
16
I don’t believe you
17
more than a body
18
21
24
19
22
25
20
23
26
I wish…
hi, hello, hey
skinny love
that shapeless black chick
self-care is not a bath bomb
you are altogether beautiful…
the flower crown (DIY)
comic section
campus happenings: sports
04 ___________________________________ editor’s note • ashia lennon
As long as I’ve known myself, I’ve struggled with accepting and loving my body. I identify with a lot of the sentiments shared in this issue, initial discovery and for a lot of us crippling criticism. The older I get, the more I believe I should have this all figured out. That I shouldn’t compare, criticize or actively cripple my body image. That’s not often the case as sometimes I walk around with subzero self-worth. I grew up in a household that didn’t glorify our physical appearance (good) but didn’t acknowledge or appreciate it either (not so good). I’ve struggled for years understanding how to appreciate this vessel that carries my brain and bears the burden of biologically keeping me alive. From the awkward angst of my teen years to the size 00 years and the dang freshman 15lbs that has turned now into senior 30lbs. The battle of North American societal norms and my Caribbean roots has done little to dispel the confusion of “you should be tall, skinny, and modelesque” versus “you should be curvaceous, average non-threatening husband height, and homey”. Let’s collectively take a deep breath and let all of that mess go… I remember coming to the realization that the state of my body does not determine the extent of how loveable I am. My size, acne, cellulite, stretch marks, curves, corners, lumps and bumps—basically anything I may discover that doesn’t spell some ideal unattainable idea of perfection doesn’t make me unworthy of love. In my experience, that is what it boils down to; this notion that the body we harbor could make us exist in a constant state of ugly - too much this or not enough that, instantly unattractive, unworthy of love. All rendering us incapable of being truly loved, accepted, and appreciated. When Jesus knelt down and formed you and I, He looked at all we were, with our cute, squishy, potential ridden selves - all that we were (his squishy children) and all that we would be (purpose, body and all) … He pronounced it good.1
This idea of self-love, isn’t this concept of the sin of pride subsequent imminent destruction that seems to drive fear for some students, especially theology majors. The idea of self-love is understanding that we were not mistakes, that our bodies and our ideas of its misgivings do not disqualify us from love. Yes, we need to love God… Yes, God loved us first… Yes, Pride is a sin. But that is what self-love is NOT… it’s not pride. It starts from the notion that because Christ loves you, created you, and gave himself for you, we then must learn to love ourselves… then can we love one another. In Mark 12:31 when Jesus speaks of the two greatest commandments, “to love Him with our whole being… And to love each other as ourselves”. The notion of ‘as yourself ’ implies self-love… In order for us to receive the gifts of salvation, mercy, grace, hope, and forgiveness, we are to recognize that we are in fact worthy of these gifts. Then move in that direction and operate from a place of worth and value which Christ himself placed on us. That is the new ideal I now place on my body for it to be able to exert the love that Christ has given to me. I then will be in service with my hands, feet, voice… my whole body and see that it is altogether lovely [good] indeed.
______________________ Psalms 139:13-14: For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother's womb. I will give thanks to You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Wonderful are Your works, And my soul knows it very well.… 1
06 ______________________________ jennica santomin
making peace Ten Somewhere in between my years of dresses with ruffles and patterns, I made friends with girls who stepped in front of their mirrors and could only see everything but the world of possibilities in their dresses. I made friends who promised a world as enchanting as my world of dresses if only I wore the same pants as them. If only my shirts spelled out G-A-P or N-I-K-E. Hand sewn garments spelling out intricate designs made with laces and beads didn’t spell anything but u-nc-o-o-l. With each shirt I wore with a popular name brand, I stepped in front of my mirror and what I saw was a girl ready to be deemed as c-o-o-l. All I saw were shirts promising popularity if only they spelled out certain letters.
Thirteen Somewhere in between my years of wearing shirts if only they spelled out certain letters, I became acquainted with other letters. A’s, B’s, C’s, and D’s took on new meanings. You can move up to a B if you wore pushups or don’t wear low-cut shirts (no matter the name brand) if you’re flaunting D’s. Her body is beautiful—it spells out the letter S with all her curves. You want that V shape look—the narrowest part of your body— your waist—landing at the narrowest point of that V. I also became acquainted with other numbers: 35-25-35. Your chest in inches to your waist in inches to your hips in inches. With each letter and number I had in mind, I stepped in front of my mirror and what I saw was a girl whose worth was constantly being measured. All I saw were incorrect letters and imperfect ratios.
with mirrors
Five I am a granddaughter of a seamstress. To my grandma, I was her paper doll, sewing me dresses with lace trimmings, dresses with patterns I had chosen at Fabricland, dresses with ruffled sleeves, dresses with balloon skirts, dresses I could wear to church, and dresses reserved for fancy birthday parties. One time, my grandma hand sewed over a thousand beads and sequences onto a white lace dress with a little train for me to wear as a flower girl. With each dress I tried, I stepped in front of my mirror and all I saw was a girl ready for a party, for a wedding, for church, for playing dress up, for twirling and whirling. All I saw were dresses promising absolute delight.
Seventeen Somewhere in between my newfound knowledge of numbers and letters and ratios, I met more new friends. Girls who flaunted the same coloured jerseys as I did while playing volleyball, girls with different lettered chests and not so perfect ratios. I became teammates with girls who were more concerned with their bodies’ abilities rather than with their bodies’ appearance. With my teammates all changing in the locker room, I stepped in front of my mirror and to my surprise, what I heard before I saw anything wrong with my physical self was, “Girl, your sets were on point today!” Praise for what my body could do rather than what I couldn’t do. All I heard was anything but validations of imperfections on my body.
Twenty-One Somewhere in between those uplifting locker room conversations, I survived the Freshman 15 apocalypse. Some days, in the glimpses of myself that I catch in front of the mirror, I may still see numbers, letters, and ratios. But what my mirror will only ever show me everything but what makes me “me.” With every mirror check, I/you/we are either approving or disapproving our beauty, our goodness, our worth. We glance at ourselves and ask, “Am I enough?” But might I ask, “Enough of what? And for whom?” With all this being said, I step in front of my mirror right now, and what I see is only a reflection. And that’s all it’ll ever be: a copy of me, an image of me. It isn’t an indication of worth, goodness, or beauty. Worth was in the possibilities I saw in the dresses I wore, making me feel beautiful and invincible. Goodness was in the uplifting and encouraging teammates I had in high school, seeing more than my mirror version of myself. So step in front of your mirrors (in whatever form they may come in—from self-talk to Instagram likes), and let it show your wrong numbers and not-so-perfect marks and ratios. But don’t let it/her/him/them dictate your self worth. You have an overabundance of flowering beauty, so much potential and so much more than a mere reflection. So please, make peace with your mirrors.
PHOTO BY ANASTASIA EHLAKOVA & JULIA GEBHARDT
08 rechelle-lee smith
an open letter to the 9-year-old ve
rsion of me
Dear Me, Rickey will pull the chair from under you Today is the first time you’ll decide that you hate yourself. l burst into tears and run from the classroom. and your lunch will fall on your white uniform shirt. You’l hear your silent sobs because you know they’ll You’ll sit on the top of the toilet and hope that no one will n and her minions attempt to kick down the make fun of you for crying. Your heart will pound as Avalo worry they won’t get you. But they’ll sit in bathroom door because they found where you were. Don’t are for the next fifteen minutes. You’ll listen. the bathroom and laugh about how disgusting and ugly you hate myself.” It’ll burn the first time but it’ll get You’ll agree. When they leave you’ll whisper the words, “I easier to say. l see. You’ll spend hours wishing your Mom You’ll spend hours in the mirror hating everything you’l does. The whole thing about letting you do it would let you perm your hair like everyone else. (She never tive to the other boys. You’ll hate your face for at sixteen is a lie.) You’ll hate yourself for not being attrac l hate yourself for not being as beautiful and looking a whole ten years younger than you actually are. You’l l hate the most is how skinny you are. You’ll white as the people on T.V. Thing about yourself that you’l as much food as possible without vomiting. wake up earlier than everyone else just to stuff your face with in University that the way that you felt in the You’ll feel accomplished when it stays down. You’ll discover s. You’ll want to die for days on end. You’ll car on the way to school wasn’t carsickness but anxiety attack it all. You’ll spend many nights weeping and hate yourself even more for not having the courage to end silently screaming at God for making you this way. the same but you’ll become a warrior princess I’m here to tell you that it does get easier. The problems stay elf. Most times you’ll win. There will be a and wage war on your insecurities. You will fight to love yours to the realization that God made you the way few days when you’ll feel like you’re loosing. You’ll come just physically but mentally as well. You’ll fall that you are for a purpose. You’ll blossom. You’ll grow. Not you with multiple gifts and it would honestly in love with living because you’ll realize that life presents you. You’ll deal with a few more ugly souls but be a shame not to open them. You’ll find people who love one who thinks your awkwardness is cute, you’ll purge your life of negativity. You’ll fall in love with some beautiful you are, inside and out on a constant isn’t scared of your straightforwardness, and tells you how basis. Most of all you’ll love you. All my love, Me.
09 AGREEMENTS AND ACNE
This article started out as an attack on myself. The whole article talked about how insecure my acne made me, how much I hated myself because of my acne, and on and on about all of these negative notions I harbored in my mind about myself. This, of course, had nothing to do with body positivity, it was the exact opposite. It was everything that society had embedded in my mind regarding perfection and how I didn’t meet that standard. Yes, the media is making great strides towards being more inclusive and accepting of your average girl and guy, but it is, by no means, where it ought to be, otherwise I would not have started my initial article being as self-deprecating as I was. My acne started as soon as I moved to Alberta. New climate, new kind of stress, and no time to exercise. My pores and hormones decided that this would be a great time to let acne make a grand appearance. It has been a part of my life ever since as has negative self-talk. This negative self-talk that I have subjected myself to since 2014, has created an agreement in my mind that I am in fact undesirable because I don’t have perfect skin and that my acne is repulsive to everyone I encounter. That I should avoid taking pictures, being photographed, or just not go out in public at all. These agreements that I have so imbedded in my mind have become almost addictive because it is so much easier to tell myself these thing than to fight against them and form new agreements -- positive ones; Ones that don’t make me feel worthless and ones that won’t allow me to be so abusive towards myself.
What do I mean by agreements? What am I talking about? There’s a book called The Four Agreements by Don Miguel Ruiz. This book talks about four positive agreements that we should make in our minds that will give us personal freedom. There’s a line in the book that describes the idea of agreements. It says: “Whenever we hear an opinion and believe it, we make an agreement, and it becomes a part of our belief system.”. This is also applicable to the opinions we have of ourselves. When we say something negative about ourselves and believe it, it becomes ingrained in our mind that that is indeed the correct opinion and it stays there until we decide to break it; to deconstruct that idea and replace it with a positive one. Another line from that book says: “The more self- love we have, the less we will experience selfabuse.”. This entire book is helping me tear down all of those negative agreements in my mind and to learn how liberating it is to love myself and how good it feels to not constantly hate myself because of my acne.
talia smith
Body positivity is the radical notion that you are allowed to love yourself despite society telling you that you shouldn’t. Body positivity for me is loving my skin, treating it to Lush face masks, letting the sun kiss it, taking selfies when I have zero makeup on with my acne very apparent and posting it to social media. Body positivity is telling myself that I am more than my acne, more than my idea of perfection, more than the abuse that I have subjected myself to in the past. I encourage all of you to look at all of the negative agreements that you have made in your mind about yourself, and start to tear them down. One by one. Cut out the abusive language that you feed yourself daily and start to implement positive, loving language that will build you up. And lastly, love yourself, even when society tells you not to.
10 ______________________________ sarah wallace
bodied image/imagined body
You fall and hit the mirror; something cracks. “I hate my [insert body part or characteristic],” you murmur. A shard pierces; the pain is as shocking and familiar as the parts of your body that swell or shrivel before your critical eyes. Who knew a ‘mere image’ could wound so? Who first discovered their double watching them apprehensively? In Paradise Lost, the first woman is passing a pool of water when she becomes enamoured with the image that gazes out at her; things don’t go so well in Paradise after that. Further back, the Greeks have given us the myth of Narcissus who withers away from love of the image he sees in a pool. These stories have shaped the western and Christian traditions with which many of us grew up, telling us that to love the image that looks back at us from a mirror is dangerous. At the same time, stories such as these have set up ideal (and, indeed, imaginary) bodies to admire and aspire to. Consequently, over time bodies have been stretched, shaved, plumped, stuffed, and pared to conform to imagined body ideals. Thomas F. Cash, editor of the journal Body Image, notes that body image is really “body images”—a plethora of influences on “thoughts, beliefs, feelings, and behaviors.” [1] During the eighteenth-century, male and female devotees of fashion whitened their skin and painted themselves into their graves with lead-based makeup, while a hundred years later the Victorian obsession with small waists ignored warnings that tight corseting might even displace internal organs. [2] Such attempts to control and construct the body were not only misogynistic; racist colonial attitudes often associated people of colour people primarily with their bodies. Consequently, anthropologist Nicole Sault writes, “the body continues to symbolize ‘the wild’ and the ‘inferior’ which need[s] to be controlled.” Bodies thus become anatomized, divided into the individual or monstrous parts, doing violence to the whole person. [3] It is highly important to note that the binaries and divisions graphed onto the body by such forms of thought are not universal. Sault notes that “in the healing systems of many other societies there is no division between body/ mind or body/self ” and that this extends to less rigid views of gender expression as determined (Ibid 10, 14). Although body image is a construct that confronts and shapes all people, women and gender-non-conforming people are especially alienated from the imagined ideal body represented in such art as da Vinci’s Vitruvian Man.
Only within the last century body ideals have shifted speedily for women in the west: From coifed and voluptuous ‘Gibson’ girls, to the lankiness of the ‘flapper’ of the 1920s, to hour-glass figures of ‘Golden Age’ Hollywood and then to the slenderness of supermodels. [4] In modern times, the ubiquity of media has increased the bombardment both men and women face with images of ‘ideal bodies’. Too often these bodies that are ‘imagined’ and ‘imaged’ by airbrushing and Photoshop have so taken over many of our imaginations that hating our bodies feels like the default. As understanding of this problem grows, the body positivity movement and scholarly research in this field seek to broaden the conversation beyond eating disorders or cosmetic practices to explore “diverse cultural contexts… including the ‘culture’ of gender,” body image for those who are differently abled, those living with diseases or injuries, racism and body image, masculinity and muscularity or height, and… yes… body image in the art, literature, and religious contexts that continue to shape us. [5] Cash notes the tendency of popular conceptions to reinforce “the limiting notion that body image is only relevant to girls and women, and only concerns body weight and shape.”[6] Instead, body image—like the body itself—is a dynamic movement—affecting and being affected by ourselves and all the people, ideas, and objects we encounter. In seeking to (re)imag(in)e our relationships to our bodies, we can begin to approach our reflections in mirrors and pools as partners to dance with rather than enemies to battle. In this way, our bodies can reclaim and reimagine the histories that make and unmake us.
_________________ [1] “Body Image: Past, Present, and Future.” http://www.ufjf.br/labesc/ files/2012/03/Body-Image_2004_Body-Image-past-present-and-future.pdf [2] http://www.ucl.ac.uk/museums-static/objectretrieval/node/111 and http://www.forbes.com/sites/kristinakillgrove/2015/11/16/how-corsets-deformed-the-skeletons-of-victorian-women/#6ccb1e76146f [3] “The Human Mirror.” Many Mirrors: Body Image and Social Relations. New Jersey: Rutgers UP, 1994. Print. [4] See the Buzzfeed Video “Women’s Ideal Body Types Throughout History”: https://www.facebook.com/video.php?v=1619559064851636&set= vb.1318800798260799&type=2&theater [5] http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1740144503000111 [6] See Note 1
11 the beginnings of my body image struggle “Oh and you give it all you got Fat bottomed girls you make the rockin' world go round Fat bottomed…” There I was at eight years old listening to the song “Fat Bottomed Girls” by Queen. Little did I know that what might be catchy tune was not a good song to sing out loud for me as a kid in grade 3. I thought it was harmless, my mom grew up with Queen and other Classic Rock bands. We would listen to them around the house reminiscing on that musical era. But what would an eight year-old attending a Christian school know about objectifying women and their body image? I knew nothing… I remember coincidentally the same day I get in trouble for singing “Fat Bottomed Girls”; my brother had been jamming to his Sir Mix-a-Lot CD… the first song Baby Got Back. The next day I remember calling my friends mom a fat *itch. I earnestly cried after understanding the enormity and damage my words did to her. Many tears were shed by my friend’s mom, Mrs. K as well as my own mom. I recall after the incident asking my mom to drive to her house so I could apologize to her in person. I had personally decided to buy Mrs. K flowers and after I apologized she forgave me and gave me a hug. Little did I know as Mrs. K then told me, she had been struggling with body image since she was an adolescent. That was the first step of me learning that body image was something people could struggle with. Later in my life I would read later in school that it wasn’t just Mrs. K but in fact “5088% of adolescent girls feel negatively about their body shape or size.” And at that time I believed that only women struggled with body image, little did I know that I too would struggle with body image as a man. In grade eight I had discovered by reading this article for health class that men struggled with body image. According to separate article written by Paul W. Gallant called, Males’ Body Image and Eating Disorders: An Increasing Concern “the overall rate of eating disorders in men was about one third that of women.” There is strong evidence that men in Canada not only struggle with body image but also eating disorders. Binge eating is believed to occur about equally in males and females. There I was 14 years old with my girlfriends at the Burman pool. I remember them coming up to me and the leader of the group said, “Jaden you should go and put on a shirt, nobody wants to see your flubber.” I had previously constantly heard these girls, who were my friends complain bitterly about their bodies. They were now telling me to go and put on shirt, that I should have a six pack like the rest of the guys. The enormity of that moment actually hit me… I, Jaden Rajah, a fourteen-year-old boy with a lot of other things on my mind… on that Toonie Tuesday, officially would begin a journey of struggling with my body image. _______________ 1 http://www.epi.umn.edu/let/pubs/img/adol_ch13.pdf 2 Males’ Body Image and Eating Disorders: An Increasing Concern written by Paul W. Gallant, CHE, MHK, BRec (TR) 3 http://nedic.ca/sites/default/files/males-body-image-and-eating-disorders-increasing-concern.pdf
jaden rajah
12 _________________________________
WHAT MEN WON’T ADMIT
What does your ideal man look like? Tall dark and handsome… How annoying is that question. How many times have you heard that phrase? For girls it’s the question that gets you through the door to any pubescent slumber party… For boys it represents some ideal desirable man that all women supposedly want. Even from the play grounds in as early as kindergarten the concept of masculinity is reinforced through action figures and super heroes. Masculinity it seems has been reduced to muscle development and aggression rolled to express a hero complex. The messages that we, men receive about what an ideal man looks like is formulated by society to only reflect masculinity through weight, fitness, hyper aggression and violence. We too are constantly being presented with the notion that in order to display strength and masculinity it is done through physical appearance. We are expected to achieve a muscular body in order to be deemed attractive, desirable, capable and competent.
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Strong masculine men are portrayed in media as huge robust individuals, like the Rock. I mean let’s examine characters within the last couple years such as Khal Drogo, Luke Cage, Iron Man, Captain America. Not to mention actors such as Chris and Liam Hemsworth, Will Smith, Rob Patterson, Hugh Jackman as well as models and celebrities who present an unattainable paradigm. While for us ordinary men who fail to possess the desired attractive ideal, we are often teased whether we’re overweight, too skinny, lanky or non-athletic. Basically considered an overall waste youte.
anonymous
In the same way, women often turn to unhealthy ways of acquiring the desired body image, as men, we tend to resort to the use of drugs, excessive exercise and restricted food intake in our quest for an ideal masculine body. “The biggest roadblock to widespread recognition of boys’ body image problems is that the diagnosis guidelines haven’t quite caught up”, said Aaron J. Blashill, Ph.D., staff psychologist at Massachusetts General Hospital and an instructor at Harvard Medical School. Body image issues often go unreported or undiagnosed for men this discrepancy gives insight to the varying statistics. Since emotion is often equated with femininity, as men we then find difficulty in expressing concern or anxiety related to body dissatisfaction. This puts an additional emotional strain on [us]young men as [we] they try to achieve the body and appearance that society deems masculine and attractive (Vandenbosch & Eggermont, 2013). The greatest achievement in the standard of masculinity is often considered developing six-pack abs. While I am in no way bashing your gym membership, being a member and actually using that membership is healthy. However, excessive exercise and working-out to mask the feelings and inadequacies associated with body image dissatisfaction is, without question, unhealthy.2 In order to combat this menace, we’ve got to establish realistic and healthy body goals. Let’s be honest, we are not all engineered to look like Ryan Gosling or James Bond. You gotta appreciate yourself for who you are and not what you aren’t. Moral of the story: if she’s going to like you, she’ll like you with or without the abs.
The Idealized Male Body: The effect of Media Images on Men and Boys Prepared by SIECCAN (The Sex Information and Education Council of Canada) http://sexualityandu.ca/uploads/files/CTR_BodyImageAndMales_JULYAUGUST2013-ENG.pdf 2 Steven Gregor, The man behind the Mask: Male body Image Dissatisfaction In Psych production editor https://www.psychology.org.au/ Content.aspx?ID=1970 3 Rebecca Adams Voices Staff Writer, The Huffington Post It’s Not Just Girls. Boys Struggle With Body Image, Too http://www.huffingtonpost. com/2014/09/17/body-image-boys_n_5637975.html 4 Vandenbosch, L. & Eggermont, S. (2013). Sexualizaton of adolescent boys: Media exposure and boys’ internalization of appearance ideals, self-objecti cation, and body surveillance. Men and Masculinities. Advance online publication. doi: 10.1177/1097184X13477866 1
14 _________________________________
THE OPPOSITE OF BEAUTIFUL
Even court systems, attractive people are found guilty less often, and when found guilty often receive less severe sentences.2 Because that’s the story we believe right?
“In a society that profits from your selfdoubt, liking yourself is a rebellious act.”Caroline Caldwell1 My conscience isn’t the first to raise its angry fist and shake it at whoever is responsible. I used to believe the answer was found in natural hair. Or maybe it was in doing more yoga. Or running. Or green smoothies. Something that gives you worth. But then my story changed. In the fall of 2015, I became a middle school homeroom teacher. If you want to see what battling body image looks like, walk into a 6th through 8th grade classroom on any given day and take a seat. You’ll see the girl who gets up halfway through class, walks to the mirror and starts painting on more make up. Or the boy who dyes his hair pink for attention when his mom wasn’t home.
Or the quiet new girl who spends her lunch breaks not eating and running lap after lap around the school track. Despite the fact that she has asthma. I know, because I would sit there with her as she took puffs of her inhaler, painfully trying to take sips of air. Her eyebrows a sea of frustration. You wouldn’t need to look much further than a TV, billboard, or magazine to observe that there is an unhealthy fascination with the way we compare ourselves to others. I do it all the time. The culture we live in worships youth and physical appearance. Sex sells. And so does beauty, because after all, we’re told that beauty is good and anything less than that ideal is bad. Despite the ridiculous implication of the stereotypes surrounding beauty, some studies have shown that in our society, teachers tend to give higher evaluations to the work of physically attractive children and attractive applicants have higher chances of getting jobs, in turn receiving higher salaries.
To be successful, you need to fit the mold; if you don’t, well bummer, let’s fix that. Buy a set of clothes, a new face scrub, a better self-help book, a more fashionable palette of face paint, or a better Pinterest workout routine. Because that’s how beauty works right? So I took my questions to the students of Burman to hear their stories. It is with regret that I must say I was disappointed, but not for the reasons you might be thinking. Burman is a lot less shallow than I secretly hoped.3 Of the guys and girls that were interviewed about their thoughts on beauty, none, not one, expressed that the physical appearance was the most important factor in determining a person’s beauty. Interesting. When asked, “What makes a girl beautiful?” similar themes were mentioned such as: “their heart”, “humility”, “attitude”, “confidence”, “positivity”, “respectfulness”, “personality” and “authenticity”. Physical attractiveness was nowhere near the top of the list.
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jeff b radb u rn
When asked about what makes guy beautiful, the answers were- the same. “Character”, “confidence”, “unselfishness”, “passion”, “personality, “humility, “originality”, and “respectfulness”. It’s also crucial to remember that proper beard trimming and personal hygiene is important (Thanks Emmanuel Mugara). After reading shallow online article after article, I presumed that the story told by our society about beauty would be the same story that Burman students were believing. Without exception, my hypothesis was demolished. Crushed, like the feeling of not measuring up to a lie which society is trying to sell you. Deconstructed, like how sometimes, we have to learn to un-believe things about ourselves. “Pretty is a lie, designed to sell you back to yourself. But you are still you.”4 From one student to another, here is what beauty is not: Beauty is not something you can buy, copy or paste. Beauty is not a prideful or a selfish attitude. Beauty is not negativity toward yourself and others. Beauty is not changing yourself to fit in or pretending to be someone you’re not.
But here’s what beauty is: To Maddy the makeup artist, “beauty shines through action”, not only blue eyeliner and mascara. “We’ve been basing beauty on our eyes, the first tool we learned to judge with.”4 Your heart for others will take you a lot further than your bag of makeup. To my pink hair friend Justin, it is your ridiculous humor, humility and ability to listen that makes you stand out remarkably. Keep wearing tie-dye, shouting “PEACE!” at complete strangers and dancing in class. Never stop. And to Alex, it’s your “love of life” and compassion for others that gives you worth. Eat a carrot, take care of yourself, kick off your running shoes. Our society’s story of beauty is impossible. It’s unfair. It’s destructive. But don’t let that rob you of the respect you have for yourself.
Believe your own story. Even college students still have a middle schooler inside of them. What story do you believe about yourself?
Works Cited: Smith, Charles Hugh. "Stop Financializing the Human Experience."Washington’s Blog. Washington's Blog, 12 Aug. 2015. Web. 23 Oct. 2016. "Mirror, Mirror A Summary of Research Findings on Body Image." Mirror, Mirror. Kate Fox, 1997. Web. 23 Oct. 2016. 3 Thank you to all of the students who participated, and for Ben Amoah for being so real 4 Koyczan, Shane. "For Many" by Shane Koyczan and The Short Story Long. YouTube, 23 Sept. 2015. Web. 23 Oct. 2016. For further listening: Instructions for a Bad Day If you have never heard the poet and social prophet Shane Koyczan, put down this article, get on a computer, and let him speak to your soul. Koyczan summarizes his thoughts painfully well in the poem For Many. “Because when you ask the question, if you could change anything about your body what would it be, what you’re really asking me is, is there some part of myself that I hate?”4 1 2
16 liliet ramirez
I DON’T BELIEVE YOU
Life, I don’t know when we started to understand about ourselves. What happened to those good old days when all you worried about was to brush your teeth in the morning and at night (sometime after lunch if you have time)? I miss those days. The fun carefree days where I would run around with crazy curly hair and terrible indoor soccer shoes. When I look back and try to understand when I worried about my body and how I had to change my appearance to make people see me. I suppose it all started in middle school when someone confused me as a boy. I have never been so offended in my life! I looked in the mirror and really looked at myself, I began to change everything I was. Makeup, straightening my hair, wearing a tank-top instead of a t-shirt, skirts instead of jeans, and flats instead of sneakers. I remember everyone looking at me like I was beautiful, boys didn’t just want to be my friend but more. I changed myself to fit in. I stopped playing sports and worried about my appearance because that’s what people liked. So, I gave up all that I loved because I didn’t want to be that little “tom-boy” that I was.
I remember crying one day because I had had enough. I wasn’t happy, I just didn’t feel right. I ran to my dad’s room and told him all that I felt how I couldn’t handle the pressure of being this “popular girl” who only worried if she was accepted. He said to me, “Tell me you're beautiful.” I look puzzled. But I told him “I am beautiful.” He stood and said, “I don’t believe you” and left. I was so upset; here I was hoping he’d help me with my dilemma but he didn’t. So the next day I went to his room and told him “I am beautiful” and he told me “I am not convinced” and left. I didn’t know what he wanted from me and I just couldn’t let it go. So, I went to the place I started, “my mirror.” I saw myself, I looked inside and I told myself “you are beautiful.” I smiled and I took off my make-up, changed my tank-tops to t-shirt, my skirts to jeans, my flats to sneakers and I picked up my hair. I walked into my father's room and said “I am beautiful.” He smiled and said “Don’t you ever forget it.” So, what am I trying to say? I am trying to say look into the mirror and say to yourself “I am beautiful” because you are! Beauty is whatever you want it to be, don’t ever change, someone loves who you are. You should love you because there isn’t anyone like you. If you’ve forgotten how beautiful you are then here it is YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL. And don’t you EVER forget it.
17 MORE THAN A BODY
Up until recently, I thought that I used to struggle with my body image. I saw this issue as if it was something of the past, remembering the self-contempt I used to feel for myself. The truth is this; as an adult the struggle is just as relevant. I don’t think I realized how internalized my self-hatred truly was until I was handed a marker and a white board and told to write something I loved about myself – something that took me 4 different tries before I settled on something I didn’t even mean. Then, before starting this article tonight I sat at my kitchen table for 15 minutes and cried because let’s face it, the younger version of me – the one who literally hated everything about herself is still lingering somehow. It’s been many years of trying to love myself and lately I’m realizing that most days, I’m doing everything but that. When I was 17 I worked for a summer at Camp Pugwash. One of the girls I met there said something that forever changed the way I viewed myself; insecurities and all. She said, “We are nothing more than a vessel. I don’t know why we’re so obsessed with the way we look when what really matters is what’s inside each individual vessel.”
kaylie copeland
I think that concept has stuck with me ever since – the idea of being a vessel. Although this concept was first introduced to me years ago, I’m still learning it at 21. How we’re so much more than just a body. How I’m someone who gets to carry inside me love, warmth, kindness and justice – even though the vessel that carries those beautiful things is often messy and stressed and bloated. Although, sometimes I don’t feel like anything more than a chubby, roundfaced girl who is usually blushing and shaking – I remind myself that I am so much more than that. That you, each of you, despite your own insecurities are so much more than those, too. You’re not your knobby knees, your acne, your stretch marks, your lack of muscles or your hair that’s too big or too flat. You have so much more to offer this world than an aesthetically pleasing body type or perfectly straight teeth. We are what we bring to this world, the love we share, the kindness we show and the discoveries we make. Our bodies are nothing more than vessels for the beautiful souls each of us carries and the beautiful minds that are going to make a difference in this hurting world.
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I WISH...
martine sajous
I wish that we could look in the mirror and genuinely love what we see I wish that being skinny as bone wasn’t the norm in today’s society I wish that we wouldn’t constantly compare ourselves to other people I wish that we could confidently walk into a room without having to put our head down I wish that we could easily choose an outfit without worrying about what others will think I wish that we could go to the gym without the intention to get skinnier I wish that getting fat wasn’t a common fear that we face I wish that we could be content with how we look instead of altering certain parts of our body Instead of all of this, I pray that when we look in the mirror, we remind ourselves that we’re “beautifully and wonderfully made” I pray that being unique and special is considered as the norm, instead of having a flat stomach or toned abs I pray that we love and focus on every part of our body I pray that every time we walk into a room, we own it I pray that when we choose an outfit we only focus on how good we look in it I pray that our intention for going to the gym is to get healthier I pray that the word “fat” is no longer used as a word to describe ourselves I pray that when we think about altering a certain part of our body, we remind ourselves of how precisely God molded us I pray that we love ourselves inside and out, just as God loves us
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HI, HELLO, HEY
anonymous
Hi My name shall remain unknown I’m a girl living in the 21st century world I’m that girl who many may see as below average My curves aren’t as those of an hour glass Definitely nothing close to Nicki, Beyoncé or Kim I’m the girl that lacks all the assets Front and back I look at TV and want so badly to be like the ones I see Silicon is something that I think may become a need I need that amazing bod so that guys will fall at my feet I’m too skinny I lack assets According to society my beauty will be hard to see with them Hello My name is not needed for you to know For you to know how much I struggle deep inside I look in the mirror and wish it would tell me a lie I look at myself and cry Why can’t I just get rid of all the fat that’s inside Why can’t I put down the lays and pick up some grapes instead I am fat There’s no doubt about it I look at the TV, in the magazines and on Insta I see the people with the slim gorgeous body I see all those girls who hit the gym and get that flat stomach Flat as Saskatchewan I’m here looking like BC with mountains as far as can be I got these special pants that keeps the fat from being seen It seems to just suck everything in Maybe if I no longer eat then the weight will just delete I’m as fat as can be And I hate how everyone uses it to describe me Hey Why can’t I be happy with how I look? Why do I depend so much on the social media in order for me to think I’m pretty Why can’t I be happy with me?
20 zahara mcgann
N Y N I LO SK V
I grew up in a Caribbean community. When you think of the islands the first images that probably have popped up into your mind are of the beaches, maybe the fruit and most likely the people. No need to be biased but when it comes to women, I’ve always seen my people as the most gorgeous. With the fiery personality, the melanin drenched skin, and more importantly the curves. Curves are huge in my culture. Curves pointed to fertility, the thicker you were, the most likely you could attract a man, and the easier you could have children with “child-bearing hips”. But besides my curvaceous bloodline and heritage, I inherited none of it. And if it wasn’t my friends talking about how twig-like I was at school, it was my grandparents trying to force cornmeal porridge down my throat at home because I needed to gain those “curves”. I started getting self-conscious at school and at home. Don’t get me wrong I have always appreciated curvy girls, but back then I began to envy them. For my 16th birthday I remember my Grandmother coming back from Jamaica with gifts for all of us. My brothers got t-shirts and I got a suction-tight package with a happy Caucasian woman on the front in a pink spaghetti top and some sort of black spanx shorts. I didn’t understand it at first, but after I put it on it hit me, hard. The shorts had very visible padding spots on the outer upper thigh and butt. That moment is very much seared into my mind, me running to my bathroom mirror, turning around and screaming bloody murder as my mother rushed up the stairs. “MOM SHE GAVE ME PADDED SHORTS, WHAT AM I GOING TO DO WITH PADDED SHORTS.” At first my mom looked horrified, and then she started laughing. “Try them under your pants first. Reuel did you see what your mother gave to Zahara? Padded SHORTS.” I struggled HARD to get my now thicker frame into my skinny jeans, and to no avail I threw them in my underwear drawer with no intent to ever try them on again. My mom started having my back after then, with no discouraging comment aimed at her children without a saving remark. She would go head to head with both of my grandmothers at our house every time they called my brother Austin and I “string beans” or “children that lacked weight”. She would glare at them when they criticized our size portions at the dinner table. “They are teens, THEY ARE GROWING.” Though skinny shaming was (and still is) a massive subject at the McGann Household, I started realizing that I wasn’t the only one feeling the reciprocations of it. I had written a Facebook post about how fed up I was with it and the responses from other women started rolling in. From women who made sure to console me with the fact that my metabolism would soon slow down, to others who felt the same way. With our society now feigning over the Kardashians succulent curves, Miley Cyrus and her big booty fetish on her infamous Bangerz tour, or Nicki Minaj and her “Anaconda Loving Buns” a lot of naturally thinner women are getting thrown under the bus. In fact, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons, plastic surgery procedures have risen 115 percent from 2000. And though it still consists of traditional procedures with facial procedures and breast augmentation, more procedures are being added. Lifts are becoming more prominent within the society with Breast Lifts (up 89 percent) and Buttock lifts (up 252 percent) taking the lead. This clearly showed that instead of accepting everyone, we as people began taking sides. Within the past few years more women began to pop up on the fashion and media scene pushing the “Body Positive Movement” including Social Media icons Barbie Ferreira, Ashley Graham, Petra Collins, and Tess Holiday to name a few. These women and others began to push the fact that body positivity is an inclusion of all and an exclusion of none. They began to hit the nail on the head that EVERYONE SHOULD AND NEEDED TO BE ACCEPTED OF WHAT THEY WERE, INSTEAD OF WHAT THEY WERE NOT. And slowly but surely it made its way into the media and into clothing lines including American Eagle’s #ArieReal, which advertised women of all shapes and sizes, untouched by Photoshop as their underwear campaign. So when it comes down to it being body positive should never hurt others in the process. Body positivity is a movement that accepts women, men and others how they are, as they are. No matter how tall, small, thick or thin you are appreciated. You are loved with or without that curve, those abs, or the height. You are accepted as the only person you are. Yourself. ___________ 1 Fobello, Melissa. "4 Reasons Why We Need to Stop Thinking of Skinny-Shaming as ‘Reverse Discrimination’." Everyday Feminism. N.p., 21 Oct. 2014. Web. 23 Oct. 2016. 2 "New Statistics Reflect the Changing Face of Plastic ..." American Society of Plastic Surgeons, 2014. Web. 23 Oct. 2016. 3 "Why Is Skinny-shaming OK, If Fat-shaming Is Not? | Life ..." The Guardian. The Guardian, 5 Aug. 2013. Web. 23 Oct. 2016.
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21
shenda chimwaso
According to Cash’s philosophy, “body image refers to the multifaceted psychological experience of embodiment, especially but not exclusivelyto one’s physical appearance…it encompasses one’s body related selfperception and self-attitudes, including beliefs, feeling, and behaviors”. (Cash, 2) Individuals have beliefs regarding three components, the actual, ideal, and ought. In other words, who they are (actual), who they want to be (ideal), and whom they think they should be (ought). Because of the beliefs of these three components, beauty is different amongst each individual, although there is still a common denominator of what beauty is, which is based in the ‘ought’, influenced by culture and society; and I am going to be focusing on the beauty within the Black community in North America. Growing up as a black woman in Southern Alberta, I was often exposed to the two contradictory ideals of beauty: the white ideal, and the black ideal. The white ideal of beauty was often associated with weight, complexion and hair texture; whereas as the black ideal is associated with body shape (curves in all the right places), attitude, and it is often sexualized. Half of me was okay, because I was/am thin, although my complexion and hair texture won’t allow me to completely adhere to the white standards of beauty. The other half struggled because my body wasn’t curvy enough, and my attitude was always more timid, which often resulted in people calling “white-washed”. I was torn between two worlds. The media often portrays black woman to have Coca-Cola shaped bodies: thick thighs, a big butt, and large breasts with a small waist; like Beyoncé, Nicki Minaj, Amber Rose, Serena Williams and other images of black women in Black media. Naturally, being a black woman with a small everything, and a shapeless body, I became insecure. Wanting to gain weight in order to have body fat in all the right places, constantly staring at my body in the mirror with each outfit, automatically choosing outfits that hugged my body to give the illusion of curves, and making sure that my squat game was on point; while comparing myself to many women on social media. Not realizing that this was heavily affecting my self-esteem, basing my image on things that cannot be changed, and what the media pushed down my throat of the ideal body of a black woman. I had to begin the long and painful process of unlearning this, and teaching myself to love myself for who I am. First, by not basing my standard of beauty in this world, but instead by the standards of God--the world’s standard of beauty is fallible and is constantly changing. What the media tells us is beautiful is based in a lie, because pictures are often photo-shopped to accentuate different parts of the body, and people tend to alter their bodies in order to attain it. God sees past the outward adornment and straight into our hearts. ‘Beauty is only skin deep’, don’t focus on the outward appearance, but the inward beauty: your heart, your soul, and your character. Beauty is what and who God has created you to be. Beauty is who YOU are. Beauty is not a standard that must be attained, but a realization to discover.
THAT SHAP E H I C K L C E S S BLACK
Reference: Cash, T. (2003). Body image: past, present, and future. Body Image, 1-5.
22 _______________________________ codrina baston
self-care is not a bath bomb
Self-care is self-love. Loving yourself doesn’t always entail treating yourself and pampering yourself. Loving yourself means caring for your own wellbeing. Self-care requires responsibility and consistency in meeting your own needs. It is about feeding your body, nurturing your soul and filling your mind with positivity. Sometimes it means choosing the green smoothie over the dairy queen blizzard when you know you’re slightly lactose intolerant. For some, it could be mean only watching one episode on Netflix instead of staying up all night to finish the season because you know you’ll wake up hating yourself. You know you’ll regret that dizzy, nauseous feeling of sleep deprivation when you have to go to your 8 a.m. class the next morning. For some, it might be going to the gym to get that cardio and blood flowing to release the endorphins you so desperately need because you know you’re prone to depressive thoughts. It is about recognizing what you need in order to feel and perform at your best and implementing those needs. It is about respecting the temple God has given you so you can be a living testimony to others. All this is so much easier said than done (trust me, I know). I know we all need a little TLC, “treat yo self ” shopping sprees or cheat days. This is just a little reminder to analyze yourself. Love and respect yourself enough to care for your emotional, spiritual, and physical health. Maybe save watching that next episode for tomorrow so that you can wake up a little earlier to spend time with Jesus, hit the gym, and make yourself breakfast! In college sometimes our course loads are so heavy and hectic we stay up and lose sight of our own needs by putting everything into our academic life, sacrificing ourselves physically, emotionally and even spiritually. Sometimes we become trapped in these expectations we create for ourselves. Sure you could ace all your classes and get that sought after 4.0, but what are you sacrificing? Is it worth it? Balance is key. If you can do it all and you’re superman, superwoman or a distant relative of Albert Einstein, then I say congratulations to you (and tell me your secrets. Plz? K thanks)!! I stumbled across these text posts on tumblr and I can’t think of a better way to explain self-care. “self-destruction doesn’t always look like taking too many pills or cutting your skin open. sometimes it’s drinking coffee when you know caffeine gives you panic attacks. sometimes it’s crossing the street without looking both ways. sometimes it’s showering with the water a little too hot. sometimes it’s avoiding eye contact with your reflection in the mirror or ridiculing your problems rather than addressing them. sometimes it’s walking out without sunscreen in scorching heat and not wearing enough when it’s freezing out. self destruction isn’t always physical mutilation, mostly it’s masked as little things so never assume what someone may be going through just bc they don’t show you visible signs of suffering.” “Self care is not a bath bomb Nor is it a face mask Nor a sweet-smelling lotion Nor a cup of herbal tea Self care is bathing because you lost count of how many days it’s been since you were clean Self care is catching up on three days of work because you don’t know where your brain went from Wednesday through Friday Self care is doing laundry when you can’t remember what’s clean and what’s dirty from the massive pile on the floor Self care is exercising because it’s the only anti-depressant you have Self care is letting yourself cry for the first time in months when you’ve wanted to almost every day Self care is making yourself dinner when you’ve gone all day without eating Self care is taking a deep breath and sorting through what you need to do It doesn’t come from bath and body works or Lush or Ghiradelli It isn’t cutesy or fun It’s relief It’s responsibility — because the world doesn’t stop for a warm bath and a good book”
If you’re feeling swamped and overwhelmed after a hectic two weeks of midterms take a deep breath, say a little prayer, and go take that nap your brain so desperately needs. Keep going. You can do it!
DEVOTIONAL // ANGELICA CORNEJO
“You are altogether
This past week, during my multiple finals before my teaching practicum coming up, the word beauty did not define me, my dry skin, the bags under my eyes, and the five pimples that appeared when the exam stress began. Let me repeat that--FIVE PIMPLES! I’m sure every female can relate to how devastating that is. Of course, regardless of how you look, there are always those people who despite our ugly scars, our imperfections, and the nasty pimples, will still remind you of your beauty. Bless the Lord for those people! Sometimes though, the things that have us questioning our beauty are bigger than simple blemish or unfleeked eyebrows (if ‘unfleeked’ is even a word). Sometimes, whether male or female, we tend to point out our imperfections in comparission to others. “I have no butt, my arms are too big, my stomach isn’t flat enough” are some of the phrases i’ve thought to myself about myself. It’s sad, but its true. Sometimes your biggest critic is you. It becomes worse when you let your insecurities affect your self esteem and your confidence. At one point I found myself in this position where I was constantly comparing myself to others rather than seeing the beauty and the value I had as an individual. It wasn’t until I began searching Scripture that I began to realize my value as both a woman and daughter of God. That’s when I began to realize that as much as we may strive to look our finest, dress our finest, and be the finest, this all fades away especially when we don’t make the same amount of effort to build a character and relationship with God of the finest degree.
beautiful...” SONG OF SONGS 4:7
It’s not until I read 1 Peter 3:3&4 which advises us not to let our beauty just be surface level but instead making our definition of beauty “the hidden person of the heart, … the incorruptible beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God”. I know you might be thinking, this chapter is focused specifically on women, which may be true but my point goes to the males reading this too. We need to remember that all the things that we invest in that don’t build up our characters and souls for Christ will literally fade away. Yes we may have imperfections, insecurities and things we may not like about ourselves but God literally says to you today “YOU are altogether beautiful, my darling; there is no flaw in you.” So I would like to encourage you friend, instead of comparing yourself and focusing on your flaws, focus on your gifts, on the things that make you unique. As cliché as it might sound, don’t compare yourself to anyone because no one compares to you. And above all, strive for incorruptible beauty, which can be found in the building of a character and of a heart that is hidden in Christ.
With all my love, your friend Angelica
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24 ambra greaves
You know that super popular Snapchat filter where you get to wear a flower crown? Ever notice that it changes the shape of your face? This issue is all about body image, so here’s a way to have all the fun of the snapchat filter while still flaunting your personal beauty.
You will need: • Hot glue gun and glue • A rounded object about the size of your head • Plain elastic headband • Scissors • Fake flowers
How to Make: Step 1: Place the elastic headband around the rounded object to stretch it so flowers can be placed correctly
Step 2: Cut leaves and flowers off of the flower stems. Make sure the flowers are cut right at the base where they meet the stem
Step 3: Glue on the leaves in any arrangement Step 4: Glue the flowers onto the leaves. Feel free to leave some leaves without flowers
Step 5: Wait for it to dry. Wear it. Take a selfie.
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by victoria soto
by colleen clark
26 _______________________________ campus happenings: sports
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