Bitterness by Shane Hodge

A R

1|P age Copy write The Comeback www.thecomeback.com.au

Article 1. The Ball and Chain Comebacks. First hour Bitterness I was only about ten years old when I first met her. She was a striking lady; blond hair but what I remember most about her? was her piercing blue eyes and lots of makeup. It’s incredible that as a kid we look at lots of makeup and it brings thoughts of a little evil sometimes to our minds. In her case it wasn’t the evil it was the white foundation powder she would leave on my clothes and the thick red lipstick on my face each time she would give me a hug. Mum was introduced to Marie by a mutual friend and very quickly she became a regular visitor to our house for the round table cup of tea meetings my mother was famous for. These tea meetings were always huge debate sessions as Mum had really strong opinions on most things in life, sport and politics were her favourite, and god help you if you didn’t support the same team or the same political party. Marie was Scottish and even though she had been living in Australia for most her life it’s impossible to take the DNA out of a person so she didn’t mind the odd “Active” argument so put her and Mum together and the Scottish fire would usually start to burn. I really don’t know what started the argument that day but all I remember was that it was huge. I was watching TV in the lounge room and I could hear a huge amount of yelling and screaming coming from the kitchen, words such as “Bitch” were flowing pretty freely and then even nastier ones echoed through the house, next thing Marie was leaving through the front door with the words. “You will regret you ever crossed me” following her as she left. I walked into the kitchen and there was my Mum crying and her friend comforting her, Mum was just mumbling in between the tissues asking her friend how somebody could be so nasty, her friends just replied “Well now you have seen the real nasty Marie” It turns out that Marie apart from having really thick makeup had a real think nasty temper and was famous for causing trouble. The day was quickly over, dad arrived home and he and Mum discussed the afternoon events, Dad just told Mum to forget about it as most likely the lady’s bark was far worse than her bite. Dinner over, baths completed, into Pyjamas and it was time for bed, quick story and prayers and we all waited for Mr. Sandman and dreams to arrive. 2|P age Copy write The Comeback www.thecomeback.com.au

I don’t know how long it was but my sleep was interrupted by a knocking at the door I heard my Dad walking up the small hallway to see who was at the door, and then I heard him say, “Your Bloody Joking” So who was at the door? A funeral Director. Turns out that somebody had called them and said there had been a death in the family and we needed assistance, my Dad quickly did a head count and assured the Funeral Director that all were present and accounted for and all very much alive so maybe, it was the next house. The man left and Dad told us to go back to sleep it’s all ok and whilst I was trying to get back to where I left off in my dreams, I overhead Dad say to mum, “Who would do something like that” A great day at school the next day and then the excitement of going home, it was special to run though that front door, Mum always had something waiting for us to eat and then we could play footy in the backyard, but when I got home this day it was different. Mum was in the lounge room crying and tissuing again being comforted by her freind and the room contained stuff that shouldn’t be there, Mum was surrounded by three huge Funeral wreaths, obviously they got the wrong address again! Dad came home and along with Mum they started to question who would be so nasty to call a funeral home one day and send wreathes the next? Did it stop there? No, over the next two weeks all sorts of strange things arrived at the house, a myriad of nasty phone calls, salespeople we didn’t call and then the person who had done it all made a mistake and her identity was discovered. The mean and nasty person was Marie and the hour of Bitterness had fallen upon our house and family. Even though she had been outed? Maries bitterness continued to plague my mother, friends were told stories about my Mum that were not true but as they say? If a lie is told enough times it can be seen as truth and soon Mum had lost a great proportion of her friends. It was only after my Dad threatened Marie with calling the police that finally she disappeared. We did not hear much from her and her bitter antics again it all stopped as fast as it began, but for my Mum it took a long time to get over how bitter people can be. Over the next couple of years on the odd occasion we did hear glimpses of nasty things she had continued to do to those that crossed her? But she did not visit our home and it basically stopped. I had just turned eighteen and was enjoying a great relaxing day at home when the doorbell rang, I did the normal teenage thing and yelled out to Mum to answer the door and she did the normal thing and told me to get up off my lazy bum and answer the door. Under my breathe I complained but got up and opened the door and was shocked at who was there. Standing in front of me was an Old, very skinny women looking very pale but I could see her eyes and they were a piercing Blue Colour and I then knew who it was, I said “Marie” she smiled and replied “My God you remember”

3|P age Copy write The Comeback www.thecomeback.com.au

I didn’t really know what to say or do but naturally invited her in, I walked beside her to the kitchen and said “Mum, Marie is here” my mother dropped the cup she was about to make a cup of tea with and just looked at Marie, Mum was totally speechless at the sight of this frail person in front of her, Marie took a deep breath and calmly said, “Nice to see you Mas”, Mum replied, “Would you like a Cuppa” so Australian I thought. The conversation went along the normal lines when you haven’t seen somebody for eight years, how have you been, how is whoever, what else is happening, love what you have done to the house and then all of sudden Marie stopped Mum and told her that she had something to tell her. Mum did the difficult which is to keep quiet, Marie took another deep breath and then she said “Mas, I have Cancer and I only have a few months to live and I want to say sorry to you” The Kitchen was silent. Marie went on to tell much more, that she was so sorry for all the bitter things she had done to my Mum and Dad all those years ago and over the next few cups of tears we found out so much more of the bitter women Marie had been and the lengthy list of people she wanted to say sorry to before she died. For the last few months of her life Marie was a pleasure, she visited often and when it got too hard for her she nominated me as the Chauffer and I helped to take her too many other people’s houses to deliver the good news of friendships rather than help her with the ball and chain of bitterness. As I sit here now typing this article the one thing that was on my mind? How much time, how many lives, and what a waste that Marie had for so many years by dragging this ball and chain of bitterness with her, and what a relief to finally set it free, but the point that drives me? How many Maries are still out there? How many Maries or Marvin’s? Whatever the name how many are living, breathing and dragging the ball and chain of bitterness behind them, and how many will do what Marie did? Create a Bucket list of apologies rather than a list of excitement. Yes it’s sensational what she did and we all remember her so much for it but why wait till the end. Bitterness is often referred to among other things as a catalyst to some forms of illness as in reality it is so destructive not only to those that are on the receiving end of it, but to the one that’s dragging it around. You may have it or you may know people that have this ball and chain, you or they may have not done the nasty things that Marie did but no matter the size of the nastiness the impact can be as devastating. Marie made the choice to finally do something about it, and luckily you and I have that same choice, but what do I suggest? Do it now do it today, take a good look at your Life and start a Comeback from Bitterness, how? It’s a tough process but so rewarding as in The Comeback Book I write about how I went through it. You may have to eat some humble pie but after you’re done I promise you it will taste like apple. 4|P age Copy write The Comeback www.thecomeback.com.au

Take a moment, grab a paper and pen and write down the things, people, places and events that have added to that weight around your ankle, make a plan to forgive and forget, make a plan to do it in person, send an SMS even an email, but most importantly do it now and set yourself free from that ball and chain that you have been dragging around for years and make a Comeback to forgiveness. Life is way too short. I send you big hugs and Love Shane

5|P age Copy write The Comeback www.thecomeback.com.au