The Comeback by Shane Hodge

The Comeback The Things That Matter? Are the Things that Matter Shane Hodge

Published by FastPencil, Inc.

Copyright ÂŠ 2011 Shane Hodge Published by FastPencil, Inc. 3131 Bascom Ave. Suite 150 Campbell CA 95008 USA (408) 540-7571 (408) 540-7572 (Fax) info@fastpencil.com http://www.fastpencil.com Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. No part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without the prior consent of the publisher. The Publisher makes no representations or warranties with respect to the accuracy or completeness of the contents of this book and specifically disclaim any implied warranties of merchantability or fitness for a particular purpose. Neither the publisher nor author shall be liable for any loss of profit or any commercial damages. First Edition

Dedicated To My Mum and Dad RIP My Mum, who Showed me that the things that Matter? Are the Things that Matter. My Dad, who taught me the value of Right and Wrong, and to speak up about both. Both now holding hands and arguing about Football and Politics in Heaven. â?§

Contents Chapter 1 Chapter 2 Chapter 3 Chapter 4 Chapter 5 Chapter 6 Chapter 7 Chapter 8 Chapter 9 Chapter 10 Chapter 11 Chapter 12 Chapter 13

Foreword .......................................... vii Lessons from Chats with Mummy .............. 1 Back in The Day .................................. 19 Chat One. DHL and FedEx .................... 35 Chat Two. Time to take off the Bubble Wrap ................................................ 47 Chat Three. Get Ready to Rumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee .................. 57 Chat Four. Baby Steps ........................... 65 Chat Five. Lining up the Ducks ................ 77 Chat Six. Just Doing it. .......................... 89 Chat Seven. The Little Red Dot ............. 105 Chat Eight. Bring out the Dead .............. 117 Chat Nine. The Critics. ....................... 133 Chat Ten. Bloopers ............................ 147 Chat Eleven. The Editing Room of Life .... 155

Chat Twelve. TelePrompTer ................ Chat Thirteen: Honesty and Pigeons. ...... Chapter 16 Final Chat. This is MY Moment ............. Chapter 17 Acknowledgements. ...........................

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

175 195 203 209

Foreword A Comeback is often associated with Sportspeople, Actors - all usually famous “back in the day” and after a period away from the limelight through whatever reason they have another shot at the title! This Comeback is not about a reversal of famous misfortune. This Comeback is about you. Now you maybe a Father, Son, Husband, Wife, Daughter, Friend that had joy once in those relationships, but it may have slipped away and you’re looking for another chance bigger and better than before. This Comeback is about overcoming health issues, relationships breakdowns, business failures. This Comeback is written to help you on your way to putting that Championship belt of “life” and “Love” back on. Is The Comeback a training program, a self help book? It could be classed as that but what it is in reality is a series of Chats between me, Shane Hodge and You who’s reading it. How did I come up with that style? The Comeback as you will read is a “Combination”. First it’s a result of my own experience that goes back over twenty-five years in the field of Motivation and Personal

The Comeback

Development. Secondly it is a result of three wonderful months I spent with my Mother whilst she was coping with Cancer and the daily chats we had. Lastly it’s about the Comeback of ordinary people like you and me with ordinary problems, how we can change and how we can turn a disaster into a victory. These Chats between my Mummy and me that were often held sitting in a park, around her bedside, on the back porch at the family home, are the format for my chats with you. The chats are designed to help you with answers and advice to questions you may raise during the stages of your own Comeback. I hope you enjoy the chats as much as I did with my Mum and that you’re Comeback in whatever area of life you choose is a great one. My own Comeback would not have been successful without the help of many people, but in particular I want to say thank you to a few. ❋ To My Brother Craig and Sister Karen, I love you both and I thank you for your support and for allowing and accepting my Comeback as your Brother. ❋

Tracy Hodge the Champion of “Never give up” thank you my love and hugs babe for your constant encouragement, and never letting me forget “you got potential baby”.

❋

To the Grammar Queens Auntie Helen and Auntie Judi, I made mistakes just to keep you busy ha-ha, but seriously my lifelong friend and her sister are two wonderful people and I give heaps of hugs to you.

Foreword

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To John Fifield, thank so much for the Skype chats during the creation of The Comeback. Your input and constant motivation made it such great fun mate.

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To My “ex-wives” Dor and Chrissie, thank you for your support and being great mates always.

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To Veronkini, wow so tough you are girl, but you made sense each time you made a complaint and I thank you for that, and yes you had the idea for the cover.

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Kerryn Keane, thanks love for reading the early version over and over and offering advice and also for your Interior Design tips for the Videos!

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Rachel Baby for her support and love throughout the writing.

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Peter Charlesworth and Ian Aitken at Minelab for believing in me, Steve Owens in LA for awesome reminders of “back in the Day”, Brother Carlos, Michael Del Gardo in Corona for sending me love and hugs when I needed it and Comeback Bill in China for his love and sensational translation.

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Adam Lee for the awesome photography we used for the cover.

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Bronwyn Mawson of Foresight in Perth for the incredible cover design

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Finally to my Children, Luke, Kyle, Mara and Miranda for never stopping in your love for me, and giving me the reason for a Comeback.

The Comeback

â?&#x2039;

And to all those that helped but I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t give you applause, I now kow tow and say Love you. God Bless You.

1 Lessons from Chats with Mummy My name is Shane Hodge and in 2009 and after 12 years of living overseas I returned home to the Land of OZ. I returned not really knowing what or where I was going to live or what I was going to do. During the last 12 years I had built companies, been on TV watched by over 500 million people in China, heck I even sang the National Anthem for my Government in Kuala Lumpur. I had made and lost and made small fortunes, dined with the rich and famous and the poor and down and out, I had done and achieved so much, but at a cost. For twelve years I had not been a Father, a brother and last but not least I had not 1

The Comeback

been a son. Little did I know that my time had arrived for my own personalâ&#x20AC;Ś.COMEBACK What do I mean by Comeback? Well you read about it every day. The â&#x20AC;&#x153;Comebacksâ&#x20AC;? by sporting teams that after suffering the potential of massive defeat, turn things around and become winners instead of losers. You hear about great business people who after losing it all, get it all together and are back in business bigger and better than what they were before. You hear about actors or singers falling from grace and then get a break and are back to where they were high flyers again. I am not a sportsman, not a former multi millionaire and I have never starred in a major movie or had a hit record. I am just a Father, Son, Husband and Friend that totally lost his way, swallowed up by the lure of the high flying life overseas but I truly forgot about the responsibilities and precious nature of the real roles in my life. I mentioned Comebacks such as sportsmen and business gurus that seem to get all the press and I would assume they have a driver or a moment that swings them into the Comeback mode it might be survival even embarrassment. Well, mine was driven by a moment that was personal and close to home. My Comeback was driven by my Mum. Why Mum? A few weeks after arriving back in Australia, I was told my 76 year old mother had been diagnosed with acute myeloid leukemia(AML),and after refusing the option of treatment, she had around a year to live. With my dad passing away the year before, a sister

Lessons from Chats with Mummy

busy with her own family, a brother recovering from Colon Cancer, it was my role to take care of my Mum during her illness. At the time I didn’t know that the time I would spend with Mum was going to be an incredible journey of emotion, love and most importantly, my first COMEBACK as a son. We were to spend many wonderful hours, seven days a week, laughing, talking, crying trying to make her as comfortable as possible, to enjoy the months she had been told would be left for her to spend her time on this wonderful earth. The journey with my Mum would open so many doors to rooms of soul searching. It would open so many areas of my life, my emotions and feelings. The Journey had a theme, a theme that was set by a quote Mum made during her illness. That quote was: The Things that Matter? Are the Things that Matter. Mum was diagnosed with AML in October 2009. Her illness started to move forward at a pretty rapid pace and soon it became apparent we could no longer manage the illness at home. But the mere mention of elderly care or nursing home soon had mum flying off the handle with the Old, “You’re not putting me in with a bunch of old people” which coming from a 76 year old wheelchair bound just diagnosed with a terminal disease? Was in a way amusing! My Brother, Sister and I were trying to think of ways to convince her, but then abruptly she took a nasty turn and ended up in palliative care in Sunshine Hospital, so that put a pause on the “Elderly Care” issue.

The Comeback

Mum was quite ill whilst she was in Sunshine Hospital; she was on a Morphine infusion drip looking pretty sad and sorry. But after two weeks she was getting a little restless and Sunday morning she called me and said, “I’m allowed out for the day”. Mum was one of the best at manipulation I have ever seen and when questioned by the Doctor on ways to make her feel more comfortable she mentioned, “some time at home would do the trick”. The Doctor said it could be a good idea, so she went to work and next thing she was calling me and soon after that, she was in the car on her way back to the home she had known for 55 years for a day out. That day out became known as “parole”! Every Sunday over the next few weeks Mum would get “Parole” from 10 in the morning until 4pm. I would pack her up with all her medication and when we got home she would park herself on the back porch in her chair, back door open so she could smell the air and feel the breeze. For the first couple of “paroles” she was still smoking, but that ended abruptly one day and she never touched a fag again. This was quite an effort for a former 40 a day girl, but the vomiting after the first one made the joy of that week long wait puff, not worth it. A few weeks after being in Sunshine, Mum appeared to be stabilising a little. She was off the Morphine infusion but still had many medications and it was recommended that she could move to care facility. My job (delegated by my Brother and Sister) was to convince her that this was a good idea; I thought and told them that it would be easier

Lessons from Chats with Mummy

to convince a Donkey to run in a Horse race! But I would give it my best shot. I visited a couple of Care Centres but the wait was so long. Then by a stroke of luck I drove into Arcare Care Centre in Maidstone, a stone’s throw from Mums house and they had a vacancy. Now to understand Mums “aversion” to Care facilities understand that she didn’t want to be in a place surrounded by people she couldn’t talk to because they had dementia, she didn’t want to see sad, old people having to be fed whilst they dribble. I took a tour of Arcare and although it was not totally occupied by the elderly that caused Mum stress, it was close. I was thinking how to convince Mum as we really had no choice, so I worked on the old 60/40 rule. I went back to Sunshine Hospital and told Mum how sensational the place was, how great was the fact that only 40% of the place and patients would she struggle with but the 60% was awesome, and her room? Wow better than the Hilton! Mum looked at me called me a liar, laughed and asked could she still have parole. So that afternoon we packed her up and moved her off to her new home at Arcare. Mum was so excited when she ventured into her new room. I had bought her a flat screen TV, beautiful reclining chair, a fridge, radio, wow she had all the comforts but she was most happy that it was all brand new as she hadn’t had things like that for so many years. All was going well until she had her first dinner. Arcare, has a community eating area. I wheeled Mum out and we proceeded to sit at a table with three other ladies, all about Mum’s age. One lady started a conversa-

The Comeback

tion with Mum and she was so happy, I could see her thinking, “wow this is not so bad”. Then the lady asked the same question over and over and told mum the same story three times, and Mum started to give me that “you liar look”, and then the Choir started. The Choir as we decided to call it, were three patients god bless, them that due to old age and illness had lost all vocal capabilities except one, Screaming. These three lovelies began to scream at a level that would make a 747 on takeoff seem quiet. They would start singularly, then as a pair and finally they would be howling in a trio. All this whilst the other patients are trying to eat their food (the food is another story). Mum just looked at me with a “You Bloody Liar Look” which is a lot worse than just “liar” I tried the old, it will get better routine, it’s only once a day, but then she reminded me that people have three meals a day. She also reminded me that 60/40 was more like 95/5 as she really liked her new TV! A few days went past and yes I copped the same “Bloody Liar” accusation many times. As the days concluded and my socialite Mummy had made friends I started to score a little more than 95/5, but she assured me it would never get to 60/40. My odds improved dramatically for a moment during one of Arcare theme weeks. The whole place became a Cruise Ship and they had daily entertaining, pretend gambling so Mummy was very excited, as this was more to her liking. She laughed saying the only thing that would make it perfect would be if the pretend cocktails had a touch of

Lessons from Chats with Mummy

Kahlua! To watch Mum singing along whilst the care workers, dressed as sailors, blasted out “We’ll Meet Again” well, that was a joy. When Sunday morning came along, Mum was at her best. My phone would go off around 8am and on the line would be Mum asking what time I was going to pick her up for Parole. That day out probably gave me an extra percentage and moved me into the naughty boy category rather than liar, and she was like a little kid when I arrived to pick her up. With medicine in hand and washing (she didn’t trust the laundry with her undies), away we would go five minutes down the road to her beloved home and back porch. She would open the door, position the chair and start to sip her beloved cup of tea, the music would have to be on in the background and then we would start, or should I say she would start, our wonderful chats. In the early weeks of her Arcare stay the chats would always begin with complaints about the Choir, the food (god she hated the food), but the complaints got less and the chats moved to things about life and love. Mum would request certain food for her lunch as I have mentioned the food issue! So we would dine on KFC, Fish and Chips and Pizza, then we would chat or watch Cricket on the TV. This sort of agenda lasted a few weeks but as time moved on, the Parole discussions on the back porch became more and more reflective, deeper, more on good times than bad, more on back in the day, rather than complaining about a who’s who of patients at Arcare. I believe Mum totally appreciated her time was limited and now she would leave her legacy. She would hand over

The Comeback

her thoughts and feelings not only on life, but moreover the journey of death. As the weeks rolled on the fast food became less important, the sport on Telly the same but music playing in the background whilst we chatted, was very high on Mum’s agenda and she would give me strict instructions on what I would have to download, and have ready for her parole visit. I now have a PC full of Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, and Shirley Bassey and in the end she had a giant crush on the music of Susan Boyle and Australian idol winner Stan Walker. Chats of Memories and moments of Mummy’s life started to change, as we moved into December closer to Christmas the conversations moved more to“The Things that matter are the things that matter” It didn’t really mean much to me at the time when she uttered the statement. It was early days and I was still in denial that Mum had limited time left. I mean she had always been a bit of a Drama Queen and loved the limelight so in a way I was probably still thinking the old girl would hang around for years. It was only when I accompanied her to the Oncologist that I was faced with the fact that yes indeed Mum was pretty crook. In January of 2010 Mum seemed to get worse and on the 27thof January at Western General Hospital, I sat with my Mum and we held hands as we were delivered the worst news by her specialist, Mum had seven days to live. When the news was delivered, I wheeled her down the corridor and for the first time in my life? I was frozen totally in the speaking department and then Mum looked at me and out of the blue she said, “I Wish I could relive

Lessons from Chats with Mummy

that moment”. I asked her what moment and she replied, “The Night on 3AW” to sing in front of the crowd just one time before she went would be a true joy in these last few days of her life. You see back in the late early 1950’s Mum was a very talented Girl, she had an incredible voice and would appear and win many talent quests that were held live on radios beamed out throughout Melbourne. Radio station 3AW had a program that was called the Amateur Hour sort of like an “Old days” Australian Idol. You would sing and people would call in and combined with the Live audience vote for you. On one particular night Mum truly wowed them and actually won the event. I had heard this so many times during my years of growing up. As time went on them Mum’s thoughts of fame were still there but the passion for Mum to sing again got less and less and in the end it was just a distant memory. But now at this moment it becomes a huge excitement of thought for my Mum, as for me? I didn’t know it at the time but it would also become a major driver in my life. During our drive back to Arcare we laughed and joked about what if she did get that 3AW chance, what if she did get her comeback? Well the voice would be a bit crackly, the songs would be out of date but she wouldn’t care she would just enjoy the moment of her comeback and the joy it would give her. The conversation of Mum’s Comeback dream stopped when we arrived at Arcare. It was time to pack her things and move her off to Sunshine Hospital and the Palliative Care Unit she had been in a couple of months before.

The Comeback

Weeks before I had made a promise to Mum that when things got closer I would take her back to Sunshine as they had a lot more staff and could help you cope easier with pain and other comforts. With her bags packed she declined the offer of an Ambulance preferring to go in my little car for the twenty minute trip. It was a hot day but she didn’t complain she just continued the conversation about what fun her Comeback would have been and then she zeroed in on me. When are you going to make a Comeback Son? She said. We had chatted about so many things the past few months, all sorts of people and places and memories, we had spent so much time together but she never really asked me that much about me. I asked her what she meant and she replied, “ You had so much talent, did so many things but you to seemed to have gotten lost the past few Years “You could have been so famous” she said, “You could have been so Happy”, why don’t you try again Son. You loved training and always said you wanted to write a book wow she was on a roll. I told her let’s focus on other things Mum and then I escaped the conversation as we had arrived at the Hospital. Check in and getting settled in her room took the place of Mums pressure question. The next couple of days we just talked a lot. I spent as much time as I could beside Mum although she was starting to sleep a lot more. The weekend came and then so did the beginning of the end. It was Sunday, normally Mum would wake me up with her traditional “what time you coming in” call at 7.30am

Lessons from Chats with Mummy

followed by instructions and a shopping list. But on the 31stof January there was no call. I quickly drove to the hospital and there was Mummy not looking well, she was burning up, feeling very ill drifting in and out of sleep. The nurses were fantastic not holding back on any painkillers, checking on her without her needing to ring the bell. I knew it was bad as Mum asked me to call my sister and Brother to come in. I sat and held her hand until they arrived and then we all sat there taking turns at holding her hand and kissing her head, and telling her time and time again how much we loved her. After a few hours Mum seem to be settled and my Sister and Brother needed to take a time out so I volunteered to stay put for a couple hours to let them go home to their families for a little while. They had only been gone for a few minutes and then Mum quickly awoke suffering from a terrible Angina attack. A few chaotic minutes of trying to get her to breathe and calm down, another shot of morphine preceded and then all was settled again, and it was time to hold Mumâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s hand one more and give her love and comforting words. She was so still and at last relaxed and then out of the Blue she opened her eyes and told me that she was happy with my Brother and Sister but she still felt so unsettled about me. She told me that if I promised her that I would at last be happy in my life she could be settled. I told her I was happy but she just shook her head and reminded me of our conversation a few days earlier about â&#x20AC;&#x153;the Comebackâ&#x20AC;? and that nothing would make her happier than if I

The Comeback

promised that I would make mine happen, to Train again and to finally write that book. I had to promise to my Mum that I would use all my talents to be happy in life and Love. I wanted her to settle so I told her that “it’s a deal” and I will do just that. I did that thinking it would keep her quiet and she would settle and relax but five minutes later? She opened her eyes again and like a little kid she smiled and said “You Promise” so I said yes and I guess that made it a real deal huh? My Brother and Sister returned and the day grew on. Soon it was early evening and apart from the occasional movement Mummy was laying so still and silent, so my Brother and I decided we would go home for a little while, have a shower and sleep and then one of us would return to let our sister take her turn at doing the same. We kissed Mummy, hugged our sister and went our separate lost ways; it’s such a terrible feeling leaving a scene like that. I went back home, showered I didn’t eat anything I just laid down and quickly went to sleep I was so tired. I don’t know what time it was but in what seemed only a short period of time my phone rang and it was my sister to tell me the news I didn’t not want to hear that Mummy had left us. On Wednesday she was given seven days, Mummy walked arm in arm with our dad and left us on Monday the 1stOf February 2010. The Next few days were really a blur. I walked around like a zombie. I had read about the feeling, heard about it

Lessons from Chats with Mummy

from others, had thought that I was prepared for it but nothing hits you like the loss of your Mummy and in my case it was like I had lost my best mate as well. We had spent the past few months side by side, talked so much about so many things and all of a sudden it was over. My sister arranged a great funeral and now I had to sit down and write my feelings and thoughts, as I was to give one of the eulogies. I sat down and wondered what should I write? And then it just fell on the Computer screen. I had learnt so much, shared so much but some of the things really stood out and I wrote them so easily. I won’t share the whole eulogy with you however some of the points were so very important I have included and would love to share them with you now. Eulogy: Lessons I learnt from My Mummy ❋

The Bible says, “Blessed are the meek, the merciful, those that strive righteousness and they will inherit the earth. It doesn’t say the Rich and famous is says the meek and pure of heart, and that was the first lesson from my Mum in this past three months. In the end all that matters are ….. the things that matter. In the end people don’t care what you know until they know how much you care and one action is less silent but more blessed than the other. You cannot buy these blessings, they cannot be faked and they must be given freely without any reward. Mum did this and was truly blessed and today there are people mourning. Some because they have been touched by mum’s gift and others because they were not. But bless all of you as

The Comeback

you will be comforted, use my Mum as a testament of the power of “Down to Top” love, realise that in the end all that matters … are the things that matter and live them. ❋

In the beginning I spoke with mum like most of us here talk with loved ones each day. I talked in urgency about needing to get going to make business moves, to organise to meet with this person and that person, I called her and said “Sorry Mummy busy going to be late today”. A couple of times I wanted to cancel visiting her so I could make one more email or call, but I soon found? All that really matters? Are the things that matter. I watched mum who cherished every today knowing there would be few tomorrows, and I changed my focus. My mum said many times on our parole days – “Son we worry far too much about tomorrow, it’s a shame death wakes you up to this”. I look around this room and I can count on two hands the amount of people that visited mum these past three months, possibly thinking best tomorrow, tomorrow. ❋ My mum was a little sad about some of you, but the lesson she wanted to leave you is “Change now” - today is not too late. If you have not said I love you, if you have not given that hug, if you have not sat down and taken time to listen to those close to you, do it today. If you have bitterness or anger or a grudge, get rid of it today, as tomorrow may be too late. ❋ Mum’s lesson? Don’t feel guilty, do something and do it today. Love, laugh and listen to those that need it and don’t expect it. Let your daily life be a gentle loving

Lessons from Chats with Mummy

breeze to those you love, not your tomorrows become a storm. ❋ Mum’s lesson to me was that if you’re facing resistance, if you’re facing anger, if you have bitterness it is because you don’t have Love as the greatest of your values. ❋ Mum made so many friends at ARCARE with Love no money, no gifts, not empty promises, just Love. When I was stressed and frustrated and angry about many things over these past few months, Mum would simply turn quietly and say “Love them Son” and I did. ❋ Let us remember the lessons my Mum wanted you all to know. Appreciate the power of being righteous, of loving without reward, of giving the most precious gift you have - your time. Don’t put off that phone call, that visit or that hug or kind word. Give away the bitterness and the anger, don’t hold a grudge, don’t let one moment of anger become a lifelong storm as I know that these are truths. It was I feel one of the best Speeches I ever gave. I drove back to an empty house in an empty car with an empty feeling and for days I wondered if I would ever fill that emptiness. I thought a lot about this when I was cleaning out Mum and Dad’s house - over fifty years of memories being ditched into a 40sqm rubbish bin. During the moments of throwing out an unbelievable collection of rubbish including what I think is the largest collection of Tupperware I have ever seen I started to think “Is this what life comes down to” just a bunch of stuff thrown in a

The Comeback

bin? Is that the legacy my mum left for her 76 years on this planet? Then it dawned on me, she left much more than this. My Mum left a huge legacy and it should be shared with as many people as it can be. My Mummy left something that would help me and so many other people. I made the promise to my Mum that I would have my own comeback, that I would speak again and finally write that book I had always said I would. This Book you are reading is the result, as I had re-learnt so many lessons along the way over the three-month journey with my Mum. I had the passion of helping people burning again. I truly appreciated my relationships and my own life. I didn’t know it at the time but Mum had rekindled the passion that I had for human potential and development. Many of these life points were lost arriving back in Australia in 2009. I had so many “Gaps” in my life, Children, Relationships, Career, Health, but in the one year after Mum’s passing and remembering the Legacy of the Comeback? My Gaps have been filled with great relationships with my Kids, a successful business, speaking appearances in China and a new home. Yes I had truly moved on and forward in my own Comeback in so many areas but some had so much more meaning than others! You see, Comebacks? Are not always measured with Money. Some of the best Comebacks are measured in smiles. The Comeback is not a Book that teaches you with worksheets and processes. I wrote earlier I wanted to write

Lessons from Chats with Mummy

the book almost like a chat around a coffee table or sitting on a stool at an old bar. To have the feeling of you and me chatting one on one about life, Love, relationships and I wanted to share with you “The Things that Matter? Are the things that matter.” So here we go, let’s chat and enjoy My Mum’s Gift, Her Legacy The Comeback

2 Back in The Day Fifteen years ago I had the privilege of meeting Mr. Steven Covey, the Author of The Seven habits of highly effective people. What a great man; he was a guest speaker at a Fireside Chat for the Mormon Church. After his chat I got to spend some time with him. I had told him how much I admired his work and I was surprised when he invited me to be his guest at his seminar the next day. It was pretty expensive so I was excited to not only hear him speak but also not to pay for it ha-ha. I love the book so much and I am a great supporter of all the 7 habits, but one in particular has always grabbed me and that being â&#x20AC;&#x153; Seek First to Understand before being Under19

The Comeback

stood”. So many arguments and troubles could be solved or not even happen if we kept hold of and practised that habit. The habit leads me to the reason behind this chat, for you to tally grab hold of the Comeback it’s really important to totally understand not only where I’m coming from but from WHERE I have come from. In the opening chat Lessons from Chats with my Mother, I wrote the following: “My name is Shane Hodge in 2009 and after 12 years of living overseas I returned home to the Land of OZ. I returned not really knowing what or where I was going to live or what I was going to do. During the last 12 years I had built Companies, been on TV watched by over 500 Million people in China, heck I even sang the national Anthem for my Government in Kuala Lumpur. I had dined with the rich and famous and the poor and down and out. I had done and achieved so much, but at a cost. For twelve years I had not been a Father, a brother and last but not least I had not been a son, and little did I know that my time had arrived for my own personal….COMEBACK” Well I thought maybe that would be enough of an overview of my life but in reality it doesn’t tell you much. The question would linger of “What Happened Back in Day?” It’s sort of like when you read the Bible and you all of a sudden go from the Birth of Jesus to when he’s thirty years old and turning water into wine, you always have that thought - I wonder what happened before he was thirty?

Back in The Day

What did he do, what was the driver to get him to that next place, what happened? Yes before that time I had been very successful, a great sales career, followed by a successful Training and Motivation Company that had ten of Australia’s top ten Corporations as my Clients. But as you will read later greed and divorce ended that. At that stage in my life I was in desperate need of a Comeback but you will read it was not yet my time. For me to give a glimpse of “Back in The Day” of Shane Hodge is important for me and for you. I stated that after twelve years I finally got back to Australia. I can remember the day I was so overcome with emotion landing at Melbourne Airport. I seriously wanted to kiss the ground when I got off the plane. It had been twelve incredible years, so much happened good and terribly bad. How did I get there, and why did I stay - two keys to my own Comeback. I had been overseas only once before, a short trip to the Philippines. Marcos was still in power, Martial Law was still in place so it wasn’t a fun place to be at the time. Funny if I would have stayed a couple more days I would have witnessed the place turning into a sea of Yellow and watched Corey Aquino and the Philippines people make history. Marcos got ousted, Imelda packed up her shoes and the rest is history. I had to wait a few more years to leave our Sunburnt Country again and little did I know what an amazing adventure that trip would begin. I had always been a little jealous of those people that had jobs that took them all over the world. I always thought what a buzz it would be to fly Business Class, stay

The Comeback

at great hotels, eat great food and meet sensational people from other countries. So when the opportunity came to take a position like that, it took about thirty seconds to think it over. The job was based in Melbourne and involved travelling overseas every month or so to negotiate the sale of Wireless networking systems - very cutting edge back in the day so was a great opportunity. I thought no problem with the travelling I could still see the kids each month, visit Mum and dad and all the family and mates not much would change so away I went, at last an International Businessman! My first trip overseas was to attend a Conference with the United Nations to be held in Bangkok. I was so excited I had heard so much about the place I could not wait to get on the plane. Well Bangkok was great, sensational people, food, the conference was a huge success and apart from the Traffic which is shocking, and the worst case of food poisoning from a nasty street side Satays, I had a great ten days away and it fulfilled all I had imagined - great hotel, Business class wow I thought I had made it. Then came a call from my Boss in Melbourne. “Seeing as you’re in Thailand” could you just pop over to Malaysia and do a presentation to Telekom Malaysia. I thought “no problem” and more excitement on the way. What I didn’t think about was it was my son’s Birthday and I had promised I would be back home for the party. Well I thought!! He will understand - plenty of birthdays to come, next year would be Ok and off I went to Malaysia. Another incredible place, awesome food, people

Back in The Day

and so nice the weather, I was in my element. I had called Luke and explained. He was a little upset but accepted my assurance I would see him in a week or so – “we will catch up, drive go karts son” I said, “all will be great” and I hung up the phone. Meetings with Telekom went well and I was about to pack my bags and head home and then another call came. “Seeing as you’re in Malaysia, could you just hop on over to Vietnam and do a presentation there, it won’t take long and you can take some extra time and be a tourist when you’re done.” So far I had been gone almost a month, but I thought “what a great opportunity”. But I also forgot! I was due to ride go karts with Luke, I was also meant to go along with Luke and visit the other kids in Casterton which is about four hours drive from Melbourne. Again I just simply made the call, “Promise” you Luke I will back in a week and then we will ride the Karts, “Promise” you kids, Luke and Dad will definitely be there next month, and no problem. Vietnam was sensational, all I had expected and more. I took up the offer of my boss and spent the weekend being a tourist around Hanoi - what an amazing place. Vietnam was still very raw back then and had that incredible simple feeling about the place. Women still wore traditional dress sitting sidesaddle on motorbikes; hotels were old French style mansions. It was wonderful and I enjoyed myself but it was time to leave and head back home. It was a Monday morning and packed my bags, booked the taxi for the airport and was now about to check out. I

The Comeback

handed the Company Amex to the receptionist and waited for the bill, the next moment the receptionist said the fatal words” There is a problem with your Card”. I asked her to try again but got the same response a few seconds later ”Your Card don’t work”. Now all Hotel people are so nice when a visit goes according to plan but they seem to lose their sense of humour when the old credit card fails. The next question “ Do you have another Card” well that drew a blank from me as I didn’t. So here I am in wonderful Hanoi, no credit card, a huge bill and one choice as in PAY up or you will be enjoying Vietnam for a long time. I didn’t panic yet, I called my boss who was in New Zealand at the time and asked him why I am having problems with this card. He coughed and spluttered and said he would get back to me. A few hours later he did that. It appears the pot of gold that the Company was using to fund all this wonderful Global exposure and Travel and Glamour was in fact now DRY. My card had not been paid and moreover the overseas people that had been funding the deal had gotten nervous with the current Management and had sent auditors in to the head office to check the books. So until that is completed all accounts are frozen, sorry mate! So while I was riding a rickshaw around Hanoi like a tourist enjoying Special Fried rice served with strange looking creatures mixed with it, the Company was in the process of having its doors closed and nobody told me. All I could think? This is not good.

Back in The Day

The management informed me that if I did not find a way to settle the bill they would call the police. The thought of spending time in a communist jail did not appeal to me at all so I put my thinking cap on and wondered who to call for help and then my phone rang. It was my boss, he told me all will be ok and he can settle the bill but I canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t go home yet. I have to go to Indonesia, as the people who are paying the bill are the same people who have been funding the Company and they want to see me to discuss the future of the Business in Asia face to face. He apologised that I had been put through all this trouble he couldnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t tell me until the problems in Melbourne had been checked and now he was advised to get me out of there and over to Indonesia. My heart was still pumping hard when he gave me the credit card details and I waited for the Hotel Manager to see if that worked, when he smiled I knew this part of the ordeal was over. Thank God as I was certain the Fried Rice in Jail would have more stranger creatures crawling in it compared to the Street food! Money paid, I was on my way to the airport and on a plane to down town sunny humid Jakarta, but sadly again I would be breaking a promise to all the children yet again. But in my mind I kept thinking I had to get this job right, I had to go to Jakarta, all would be good soon. I arrived in Jakarta feeling pretty worn out. The past few days had been a little stressful and I looked forward to meeting with the Funders, doing my tap dance and heading back home. So I quickly checked into the Hotel and then went off to my appointment. The meeting went

The Comeback

well, they felt that Asia was going to work out for them in the end and they asked me I I would be happy to continue to work for them; I was fine and replied no problem. Then they dropped the bombshell, they would be happy for me to continue however, could I relocate to Asia as it would be much easier to do business from this region as that where the majority of contacts would be. I thought about it overnight, I felt I could easily live in Asia. I could travel back to see the kids, family and friends and it would be a great experience for me. Little did I know I was slipping further and further away from the truth. I went back to meet the principals the next day and said I would be happy to move and was there any particular place they had in mind for my relocation? They replied that Indonesia or Malaysia would be perfect. My recent visit to Kuala Lumpur was good, English was more common and the City was a little smaller so I decided that would be the place for me. I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t return home to Australia, I took the suitcases I had and flew straight to Kuala Lumpur and set up home at the Concorde Hotel. The choice, ended up being the start of the road to the Comeback. That choice ended up being a twelve-year break from Home, Family, Friends, Children and Shane as I knew him. Very quickly after I moved, the Asian financial crisis hit, the Indonesian Rupiah fell 80% of its value against the US Dollar in a matter of days. It was a disaster of huge proportions, the Indonesian funders ran, I was stuck with massive hotel bills, no money and not much hope. I should have

Back in The Day

bitten the bullet gone back home and started again, but I thought that I could ride out the storm and sooner rather than later all would be great again. I had far more chance in my mind of making it big again in Asia rather than trying to start all over in Australia. I was so wrong. What followed was three years of incredible hard times, never returning o Australia and a gap in relationships that just got wider and wider. Things would improve and each time they did, like a drug addict I would say “Just one more hit” and not go home. Each time thinking I could make a little more money so I could go back a hero rather than a loser, each time forgetting another birthday or Christmas, each time not calling Mum and Dad for months on end. My father jokingly told everyone he thought I was in jail! After three years a lucky break came and I was given the opportunity of a fantastic role with a telecommunications Company in Hong Kong - great money and conditions and again flying Business Class and staying at wonderful hotels. At this point I met Tracy and fell head over heels for her - a young dynamic Chinese lady. We met at the Hyatt Hotel in Hong Kong; she was dancing the night away I could not get over her energy and super smile. It’s a great story so I will share a little with you. I was so interested in talking to her, so I stood next to her and said “Hi” and all I got was a puzzled look, you see Tracy spoke no English; I really wanted to talk to her so I paid a waiter to translate for me. When the place was closing we said good bye to each other and exchanged phone numbers which was a bit strange as how could we communicate? Meeting

The Comeback

Tracy sealed the choice of taking the job in Hong Kong and the next day I got the Company receptionist to call her and ask her to meet me for lunch, we had a great time courtesy of another waiter translator! Tracy and I became inseparable; she picked up English so fast that within three months she was so fluent. Six months passed and on my birthday in front of a house full of people I asked her to become Mrs. Hodge, I asked her in front of all those people as I knew she had to say yes so I wouldn’t lose face ha-ha. Tracy and I got married in Hong Kong and were so happy; life was great as was the job. Quickly the bank balance rose as did my self-esteem. Many times I could have zipped home to Australia to see and hug my children, visit Mum and Dad but chose to earn money and party at Lang Kwai Fong where the beer, cocaine and the Bullshit flowed smoothly and I enjoyed them all. Soon after getting married an opportunity came up in Malaysia to be the CEO of a listed Company. It was time for a change from Hong Kong - the “party” town was almost getting to me so for the sake of longevity! My health? It was a good idea to make a move and off we went to Kuala Lumpur. I love the place and always have. The food is in my mind some of the best in the world and I have some great friends there. Tracy being the dynamo she is got very bored very quickly and she decided she wanted to open a little shop selling products from her hometown of Guizhou in China. It sounded like a great idea and she could make some money and get over the

Back in The Day

boredom so she opened a lovely little shop called Oriental Dream. Within a short period of time she had become the darling of the Expat Community in KL and she would often have ten ladies in her little shop drinking tea all afternoon, but god bless her she actually sold some things and scored a hit with the local media and overall she did well. The downside was Asia and my hunger for the dreaded dollar and success, made each planned trip home more and more delayed. Troubles with Luke, Mum and Dad getting older really should have woken me up to reality but again the old catch cry of “Plenty of Time” always set in and the original couple of weeks in Asia had now dragged out to almost five years. Let me say right now I am not proud of this fact. For me the CEO role was a disaster, it turned out to be the most Politically based place I had ever worked in, with each day having to fight another plot or plan, each day having to stave off another assassination attempt by some glory hunting General Manager and in the end my temper got the better of me and I told them in very Australian terms see you later. Now faced with the, ‘What do I do now” problem, Tracy set me a challenge. I had always bragged that I could sell and market just about anything so she said “Can you make Oriental Dream Famous”? I really liked the stuff she was selling, it was special and unique awesome embroidery and silverware with a long history and wonderful stories associated with the design in fact some of the designs were over 3000 years old. I thought yes it’s possible to make a brand out of this. I sat

The Comeback

down and wrote a business plan, went out and got a couple of Investors, the only problem was that to really make it as a brand? The Business would have to be based in Guizhou Province in China, as you have to be at the heart of the action, the culture to really make it work. So again I moved, to what would have to be the most challenging place on the planet to live as a Foreigner, China. Now if you know somebody or have lived in China you may disagree with me, but I guess you or him or her have lived in Beijing or Shanghai. Well let me tell you itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s like Chalk and Cheese, living in a Province is like living on another planet - itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s very very tough. Guizhou is the poorest province in China. It is 1500 feet above sea level, as an Australian I was a minority tribe, the food, living standard all very tough but I was determined I could make this Oriental Dream Work. Five more years quickly passed, and we did make it famous. Tracy and I became household faces in Guizhou and most parts of China. We were on TV every other week, we had specials made about us that were seen by over 550 million people, and in fact CCTV6 which is the same as HBO approached us to make a Movie based around our lives. It was a very special time with some unbelievable memories, however it has also many tough times. I struggled with the food, the loneliness, I was so homesick, but each time I thought I had the chance to go home, another event, another Interview would come up and the plan would fade. I was sick so many times, food poisoning, dehydration but the lonliness was the biggest killer. I really

Back in The Day

felt that I was almost a machine that would be turned on for special events and then put back in the Closet to wait for another major opening. It all became a bit too much and I decided to spend time in a village around one hour from town. I could ride a motorbike and horses there, I would teach English to keep myself busy and return to the City when I was needed for a special event or meeting. The time, the pressure, health issues, being away from Australia for so long all were getting to me and having a great impact on my relationship with Tracy. I began to hate the business and worse still became very bitter towards her and all those that surrounded her. I held Tracy at such a high level; she was the most amazing dynamic love I had so it was not a good time, nor frame of mind to be in. Something had to give, I needed a break from it all, not to run away just to get a new perspective some might say but in my case it was to get my soul back. Again I thought I could make it back home but then another chance arrived. A good friend in the US asked me to help him out with his Company for a few weeks. He offered me the ticket and said he would send me back via Australia after we got things sorted in a few weeks. I had read all his documents and it sound like a bit of fun for a few weeks and would help me get out of the rut I had dug for myself so I talked to Tracy she agreed I needed a break and away I went. Well I donâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t why, but I must have ran over a black cat, walked under a ladder, got a voodoo doll against me but when I arrived in LA nothing was like it was told. The

The Comeback

business was a mess he had no money. I had to live with his family - it was a disaster. I used money that I had taken with me to try and help but after a period of time it finally broke the camel’s back and I decided the only thing I truly needed to do? Was getting back home, to Australia. I had not seen my children in so long. The conversation had gotten less and less, the broken promises now made me a man of little if any integrity with my Children. The same could be said of my family who really didn’t want to know me, and as for friends? Well they had long since stopped returning my emails; my life was in an essence a disaster. Do you understand now why I opened this chat up with my encounter with Mr. Covey and my respect for “seek first to understand before being understood?” Do you feel that I have taken my share of knocks, made selfish stupid choices and totally understand the need and desire for The Comeback? I understand Divorce and the Breakup of relationships. I know the devastation it can bring I have been through it three times but have Comeback to have these relationships as friendships I cherish, including Tracy who is now my best friend and closest business partner. I understand the pain, the hurt and loss you feel when you have children that are not only part of those relationship breakups, but more so I didn’t see them, hold them or hug them for almost twelve years. I understand the feeling of being hated and not part of a Childs life. I have four wonderful children who demonstrated that lesson to me, but I have the glory of a Comeback as a father, the beauty

Back in The Day

of a relationship with four children who not only now love me but respect me. I know and totally understand what it means to fail in a business, or a professional career, drug addiction. I know the pain it causes, the loss of self esteem but I know that all this can be overcome and I have proved that a Comeback from all areas of failure is possible. I know this as I have made my Comeback not once but many times. Friendships, Health, Spiritual, and Emotional issue that leave you at a point when you feel you cannot go on, personal losses - I understand and have lived them. I have spilt blood in the same mud most likely that you have, but I have overcome and I sit back now and enjoy the sweet feeling of success of my Comeback in all these and more areas. Can you see it now? Are you with me now? This chat was not meant to be an Biography of the ups and the downs of Shaneâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s life. The book contains many other stories about my life, but this first chat was meant to give you a glimpse of the things I have gone through. This chat was to demonstrate, that I truly understand, appreciate and can apply the chats that are in this book and in the end as you can and will do. In the end you will be rewarded as others will around you with the best feeling and that feeling isâ&#x20AC;Ś The Comeback.

3 Chat One. DHL and FedEx Have Success, Create Financial Independence, Get Rich Quick - that’s some of the titles I read when I go to the local bookstore to find information on any subject of “life” improvement. All of these things are important and I will be the first one to put his hand up and say yes when the question is asked, “Do You want to be rich and Famous”? But is this subject question the most important part of your life? What I rediscovered over the three months with Mum? Was that a lot of people have no need for Comebacks in all areas of their lives, just some! You can see many successful people are really happy about the Ferrari in the garage of 35

The Comeback

the big huge house, and you can see that some sports people are so excited about being Number One in the world. You can see that some people are smiling from ear to ear that they have the most successful business on the planet, but look deep into those people and you will find some misery in parts of their lives that they would gladly give some of the precious riches to fix. Top Golfer has steamy Affair! Corporate CEO charged with sexual assault, Leading Sportsman destroyed by gambling habit, Son of Head of Government busted for Drugs, Superstar Actor enters rehab. Have you seen these headlines? I don’t have to tell you who these people are you will remember them. Their lives have graced the pages of our newspapers and magazines showing the riches and success and all the trimmings that go with it - Million dollar cars, zillion dollar mansions but Ten Cent hearts. It’s not just the million dollar stars and success club that suffers from a script of life that needs to be adjusted or totally rewritten. Middle class, Lower class and no class society suffers from the same script issues. The major difference is that like the top ten percent earns the most money, they also get the most press. As we trickle down the “who has what” line, our lives can be suffering the same trauma but our press is the family, home, SMS, emails, face book and twitter! Marriage Script failure, Boy friend, Girl Friend Script problem, Health Script, Children Script, Money Script, Business Script, Job Script, Golf Swing Script to name a few. All these scripts feature prominently in everyday lives. I only have to scroll through all my face book friends and

Chat One. DHL and FedEx

see the scripts of their lives not running according to the Directors schedule. On an average day in face book I see “In a Relationship with” … Next day I see “It’s Complicated”. I read entries like “Mum and Dad don’t understand me” or “ I hate my customers” - kids replying to parents with the most hated word in America two years in a row “Whatever”. I can see the flirting between friends of friends. I can see online nastiness and bitching. Face book is the Tabloid of Choice for the voicing of script problems of us, the everyday people. If you want to have some fun just spend ten minutes trolling through your own face book or twitter messages, read it with a different set of eyes and you will see the direction some of your friends are taking wrongly or rightly and maybe even for you. With over 550 Million users face book gives a solid overview of strangers, friends and family scripts that are not running in the direction they maybe should be. But let’s zero in on you. What’s your Life script that is not running according to your Directions? Is it the Partner that doesn’t understand you? Is it Body you’re not happy with? Is it the Kids that drive you nuts? Is it the Job you can’t stand? Is it the Business that’s not running smoothly? Is it YOU that’s just plain unhappy? To Comeback? You have to know where from. Was it good once? Every part of our lives we write a script and original screenplay of how we will direct it. The script may be in your head, it may be written it may just be words that you have spoken, but we have a script and people, places, cir-

The Comeback

cumstances may have affected that Original Script along the way - and it’s not turning out to be the Blockbuster you originally planned. When the script for the movie Back to the Future was written and it was five weeks into filming, the Director felt it was not going to work with the actor who was playing the lead role. He changed the script, hired Michael J Fox to play the lead role, re-filmed the whole picture and the Movie grossed well over 350 million dollars and went on to make two more sequels. When the Original Star Wars Movie was written, famous characters like Darth Vader were not as high profile. Just before filming started the Director George Lucas changed the script, made Darth Vader a pivotal character and the rest is History. Changes in Script is not limited to movies, Joanne (J.K) Rowling who write the incredible Harry Potter series of Books was turned down by no less than 12 Publishers before she found one that took a gamble. They decided to run a small print of 1000 Copies. Harry Potter books have sold a lot more than that!! Before this happened, Joanne Rowling was broke and a single mother; her script was rewritten. Walt Disney the father of Disneyland was told his cartoon character Mickey Mouse wouldn’t be successful as it would “Scare Women”. He was also told Disneyland was a bad business idea. Walt Disney had to change his script and Disneyland and the Movie Production Company are famous - as for Mickey Mouse? Well kids all over the world fell in love with him.

Chat One. DHL and FedEx

Akio Morita and Masaru Ibuka were two struggling engineers who made a rice cooker that got a terrible reputation for bad quality and a habit of burning rice. They changed their script and Sony was born. So for you and I, just like George Lucas, Walt Disney and Joanne Rowling, when things are not running smoothly and we want to create a blockbuster or maybe even shelve a project the first step of that process, and an integral part of the Comeback is to take a look at the script we are working and living with. What do I mean by script? Some circles call it a mission statement or Vision statement but I like to call it a script. A script is described as: “A written version of a play or other dramatic composition; used in preparing for a performance”. I like that description as to me our lives in whatever we do can be a performance -Drama or comedy! Now whatever we are trying to achieve in our lives, our relationship, our health our Business or working life we have a script attached to it. As I have stated before it can be written, thought, even just spoken about. But in all cases we have set the scene for the performance and if it’s not going as planned and too many scenes are being shot without you the Director calling “CUT”, well we need to take a look at the script and possibly make some adjustment. Now I’m writing this book so I haven’t got you laying on a couch in a comfortable office in person telling me about the highs and lows of your life performance and the good or bad scripts that are causing that. So we have to

The Comeback

look some examples and then you can start to fill in your own Drama or Comedy Scripts and the things that want to make you scream … CUTTTTT Let’s look at our Children? Ah bless them so wonderful and cuddly when they are born, butter would not melt in there mouths but then they grow up, walk and talk and then…Well trouble can be brewing and in my case being divorced and a long way from them both physically and emotionally for so many years it’s been rough ride to relationship heaven with my kids. The script I had written in my head for my relationship with my own children was pretty well based on the old tried and true method of parenting that being, “I’m your dad so by virtue of my parent rights you will love and respect from the time your born till the time I die and that settles that”! How wrong could a guy be? The children on the other hand had an even better script and that was “You terrible man you abandoned us when we small, you cheated on our mother, you never came to see us, you had so many girlfriends and you even forgot our birthdays and Christmas, so what do you care or know about being a dad”! Wow, big difference in scripts, can you see that? So for years I had been running around thinking “that’s my script” and could not understand why I could not communicate with my children, why they didn’t want to speak to me, why they were not excited to see me. Well it just made no sense at all! As for my kids they would have an instant huge wall set up on any occasion we would see each other,

Chat One. DHL and FedEx

as that is what their script performance demanded. Can you see the problem yet? Problems with Performance as a Parent? Take a look at the Script, ditto with your Kids. Brothers and Sisters can also be Interesting performances. When I arrived back from living overseas for so many years, one of the first shocks to my system was that there was nobody to meet me at the Airport. I couldn’t understand it, in all the years of living overseas especially China each and every flight I would be on there would be a cast of many people waiting for me when I landed. Chinese Family and friends all excited, they would do the traditional Chinese thing and take all my bags off of me, offer me a cigarette and then proudly take me home or to a hotel. There would always be a special dinner that they would pay for at some wonderful hotel the night of my arrival. And Now at Melbourne Airport I’m alone fighting with Taxi drivers! You see what my script was? I was the Brother who “believed” he was important and should be treated as such. My good old Australian way had a new script written with ‘Chinese subtitles” and I expected to be treated that way. I sat around for days expecting to be picked up, barbecues to be held in my honour and why am I paying for my Hotel room? Where is the respect from my brother and sister that my part demands? The calls never came and I ate a lot of KFC and McDonalds.

The Comeback

Let’s take a look at the script my Brother and Sister had. “Oh that Brother” the one with the Chinese Attitude that the whole family world owes him favour, the one that called every so often, the one that hasn’t been around to help with Mum and dad, the one that never even came back to mow the lawns or take Mum shopping - oh he’s in town we will see him “Whenever”. That’s a bit of a clash of scripts huh? If I look through all the roles and even activities of my life? I will find a script that did not or does not match the script that would give me the chance to have a leading role in a Comeback. Even when it came to my Golf, my script for the driver went something like “Oh No if I use that thing the ball will go 50 Meters straight then 150 Metres to the right! And for that reason I left the driver in the bag and used a three Iron. Business, family, all of our roles in life have a script, some great, some not so great. The great we can leave alone but for the not so great it is time to call CUT. I could ask you now to take a good look at yourself and write down every role in your life and the scripts that you have written or thought for them, but I have found that all mountains are climbed one step at a time so let’s conquer your mountain with that method. Before we get to write our current script I have to let you into a little secret, humans are really good at telling lies to themselves! I know you’re shocked but it happens when we are posed that question: “Now be totally honest with yourself”!

Chat One. DHL and FedEx

We tend to be driven by DHL (Not the delivery Company) I call it the Department of Human Lying! Now your DHL sits in the front of our brain so it’s located in a shallow place that really doesn’t make much progress in YOU development. A Typical DHL Script looks like this: Comeback Role: Father DHL Script for that Role: I didn’t leave my kids I left their Mum, I send them Money every month, I call them for birthdays and Christmas, and they are older now they don’t need me as much. The older they get the more they will understand the situation and want to see me more, plenty of time. Where we really want to get to is our FedEx, (Feelings, Emotions, Desires, Experiance Xcuses) to deliver our current script, so where is the FedEx part of our brain? Well it’s the part that is deep deep back hiding in the shadows. It’s the part we have trouble visiting and exploring, as it is the action centre. When we start to get to this back section and we start to make moves our FedEx becomes like the real FedEx and “we live to deliver”. I have found a good way to reach my FedEx, let me share it with you. First thing is I write my DHL version script for the Comeback Role I’m searching for in my life which is driven in most cases by what I feel I have to write, then I close my eyes and I let my imagination take over. I imagine I’m walking down the street and all of a sudden I get a tap on the shoulder and it’s a guy dressed in the Blue Uniform of FedEx, he has that little Computer in his hand and an overnight document satchel, he asks me if I’m Shane Hodge and I say yes, then he asks me to sign the

The Comeback

little machine screen, hands me the satchel and says“Congratulations this is Your FedEx Life as a father” I’m so excited, I open up the satchel and there it is my real life script, all my True Feelings, Emotions, Desires, Experiences, Xcuses and has been delivered to me in a sealed envelope that nobody has opened before. It’s all me, it’s all there for me to see, warts and all. Can you imagine that? Can you see it in your mind’s eye? What truths are written there? What is really and truthfully the Feelings, Emotions, Desires, Experience and Xcuses that have been holding you back? It’s not a pleasant moment, but for a Sensational Comeback FedEx must be faced. Can you write them down today? Or you can put the book down and do it right now, what part of your life what role would you really want to see a Comeback performance? And what is the FedEx script for that role right now? Again just a little help: Comeback Role: Father FedEx Script: I really miss my kids and in fact I did leave them but I want to spend quality time with them but after all this time I just don’t know how. Sure I send them money but I want to be with them and share time with them, I want to see how they are doing and what they are doing, I want to share their interests, get to know their friends. I want them to be part of my life see what I do and enjoy it with me. I want to be more than a phone call and a cheque in the mail - I want to be a Dad. Can you see the Feelings? Emotion? Desires? Experience? And Xcuses?

Chat One. DHL and FedEx

So what does FedEx do for us? It rewrites the script! It calls CUT to the current Direction and starts to create a script of what we really WANT. I used the Father Comeback role, but you decide which role it is you desire a Comeback. It can be as a Partner, it can be your career, it can be your health but what ends up with your FedEx is Honesty. With the dishonesty of your DHL out of the way and your FedEx in place you are well on your way to your Comeback. The new script is just the beginning of your blockbuster, and congratulations on that. Wow it’s exciting and yes it’s tough but how great will you feel when you walk up to the Microphone of life and yell at the top of your Voice. I know I have been away for a awhile but, YESSSSSS I’m on my way back! IN fact scream that out right now at the top of your voice, I’M ON MY WAY BACKKKKKKK You feel better now? Ralph Waldo Emerson once said: “Whatever games are played with us, we must play no games with ourselves”. That’s a wonderful quote about being honest with ourselves. Do you ever wonder how much time you waste in life by working on the dishonesty of a DHL life? Not facing up and enjoying the truth? One of things I loved most about my Mum was how she faced the truth. She never asked the Doctor to hold back on any news good or bad, but I know that in our daily lives we seem to have “avoidance” disease, we don’t like to hear the truth and we don’t want to give it much either.

The Comeback

If there was one single lesson I have learnt in life of what seperates the Champions from everybody else? It would be the ability to accept and act upon the truth. If I could document all the greatest coaches I have met or read about in my life (another book?) I would say the greatest attribute they have in helping people achieve high performance? Is the ability they have to be totally honest to those that they train. Let me state it again, the Comeback is not about fame and fortune it’s about you and me and the things that matter - Life, Love, Relationships and mine and your desire to be a World Champion in those fields. Why? Because if you’re a Champion in those areas, you will have the added bonus of succeeding in so many other areas. With the honesty of your FedEx Script you are on your way back, now let’s move forward.

4 Chat Two. Time to take off the Bubble Wrap I love bubble wrap and Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m sure you do too. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s a great thing for protection of all those breakable things we buy at stores or the things we pack when we move house, but the best part of Bubble wrap? Is when you burst those little things and you get the POP. Wow so much fun even the Iphone has an app for that ha-ha. So what has bubble wrap got to do with your Comeback? Well the DHL Script wraps you in the stuff, keeps you all nice and protected - no walking on the edge or making change with that script, but the 47

The Comeback

FedEx Script? That’s a different story; it involves walking along the thin line of potential discomfort called CHANGE. What we need to do to get rid of the Bubble Wrap of the DHL is to dissect our FedEx Script into nice edible chunks of Change. Why edible chunks? Well think of exercise, if you warm up and stretch, take your time, build up those muscles slowly but surely you will have a little niggle of pain when you wake up in the morning. You take that small pain and go and exercise again and again until you have the body of Mr. Universe or the Golf swing of Tiger Woods. On the other hand if you just go at it with no preparation full on, I guarantee you either the next day or within a week you will feel like retirement has come early and staying in bed is a better option, the weights will gather dust and the clubs will be part of that next garage sale! Moving forward with a FedEx script has a lot in common with the exercise routine, if you run at the script too hard too fast, don’t break it down into chunks, don’t look at the reasons behind it? Well your next script will be delivered DHL pretty fast! Like exercise, we need to do one thing at all times first when looking to work towards our FedEx script and our Comeback, we have to make the first move. You know what it’s like? You’re sitting around, watching sport instead of playing it, buying take away instead of cooking it, giving your kids a Play station Foot-

Chat Two. Time to take off the Bubble…

ball Game instead of going out in the yard for an old fashioned game of Kick to Kick, sending an email or a face book message to a friend instead of giving them or call or even better popping in for a coffee and chat. Yes we need to do something, make the first move to throw away the shackles of Bubble Wrap. The first move though is always a tough one, and even though we are breaking it down to edible chunks I still feel that the only way to learn to swim is to get wet! I remember fondly when I was about eight years old and learning to swim properly, my Dad took us down to Maidstone swimming academy for “Real” lessons. Well there I was standing at the edge of the pool splendidly dressed in my new Speedos and the Coach was in the water. He said Ok Little Hodgie jump in I will catch you - so I did, and he didn’t. Only thing to do was cough and splutter and find a way to get back to the edge. Now the guy was not going to let me drown he just wanted to make sure I got wet and then we could go to work on the lesson. When looking at or FedEx Comeback script it may be the best course of action to get a little wet! So what did you write or think? What is the Comeback you’re looking for? I can use the powerful process of long standing knowledge and experience and come to the conclusion (Guessing) that you would have one of the following as your Comeback Role. Father, Partner, Fitness, Job, Business, Brother, Sister, Son, Daughter am I right?

The Comeback

You might have have Golfer, Artist, Singer, Comedian, Gardener, Chef in there? Doesn’t matter all that matters is your Comeback is your desire and that is perfect. So looking at these Comeback roles and the FedEx script you have written or thought about, what’s the best way to find out where you really stand in your current ability to make it happen? Let me tell you a little story. I have a great mate of mine, for his safety and to protect the innocent we shall not use his real identity, sort of make him a Stig with the helmet ha-ha. Let’s call him George. Well George is a great bloke, good job nice family with all the trimmings. House in the suburbs, Plasma TV with surround sound, Holden Commodore in the Garage, great BBQ on the patio, kids are great, wife is great, all is good except for one thing. Its perfect scene is starting to show signs of Stress and leading to the Perfect storm. You see George is leading a double life. George is actually having a mad passionate affair with his boss’s assistant and that has been going on for a year now. Now George is living Two DHL scripts and it’s becoming a bit difficult and the home life is turning from nice to nasty. The “Other” relationship has also taken turn as Miss Right is no longer happy with being on the Interchange Bench and is turning up the heat on George to be a permanent player on George’s field. She wants to be able to sit in front of the Plasma TV in George’s house not at a Hotel on a Wednesday. George’s wife has gotten wind of the situation and an underlying atmosphere of discontent is

Chat Two. Time to take off the Bubble…

starting to fill the house, kids are also feeling a little strain and starting to spend more time away from the house instead of the play station connected to the Plasma TV. Even George’s Boss is starting to question his expenses that include the Love In Lodge at Fawkner. George is in a little strife as his DHL Scripts for three roles in his life that being Partner, Father, and Job are being pushed to truth time. I sit down with George over a warm latte (I’m politically correct so won’t use a Cold Beer!) and we start to discuss the FedEx Scripts that George desires in his life. He talks about the fact he really loves his wife, kids, House even the BBQ is important in his life. He would dearly love to have a Comeback with his wife, to spend quality time with his kids, and God forbid at forty-five how could he find another job like the one he has? He would dearly love to move to the FedEx script but he is struggling to see what he really wants in life what really makes him happy. George is doing dangerous things that a lot of us do, George is doing a lot of thinking but no ‘doing” and if he stays this way like a Chicken in the oven for five hours? George will be well and truly burnt and done! It’s time for action; it’s time for George to get wet. I ask George to close his eyes (yep Imagination time again) and think that he has gone out for dinner alone. I ask him to imagine he is walking into a wonderful huge dining hall, Piano in the background, all tables with nice white cloths and shiny cutlery, can you imagine that George? I ask and he smiles and says yes. I then say George Imagine that as you’re walking past all these nice tables you notice that the Dining hall is basically empty

The Comeback

and then all of a sudden, the doors you walk through are closed shut and bolted. George seems a little nervous but answers yes to the vision he can see in his FedEx driven part of mind. I then ask him to imagine one big round table in the centre of the room that has a curtain around it; George acknowledges that he can envision that. I ask George to pull back the curtain slowly and then I want him to imagine that the guests that are sitting the table, to slowly gaze chair by chair – “can you do that George“ I ask and George says Yes. Ok George, The first Guest is Your Wife, The Second Guest is your Girlfriend the Third Guest is Your Son, The fourth Guest is Your Daughter, The fifth Guest is your Boss, and to top it all off the people serving you at the table are your friends and family. “Keep Your Eyes closed” I say and “how you feeling” I ask George, he answers with a stammer and says “Nervous.” Now George I want you to keep those faces in their seats and I want you to imagine they have asked you to make the pre-dinner speech ok; all of these people now sit silently waiting for your talk to begin. “Can you imagine that George?” The answer takes a few seconds but is a “Yes.” Well George, you can start your speech right now, and the Topic is. “What are you going to do with the rest of your life and who with”! There lies George’s FedEx Script, the Bubble Wrap is off and George got wet!

Chat Two. Time to take off the Bubble…

Your Comeback role may not be as scary as George’s but what would be your Dinner Speech for your Comeback role? If the Comeback role you’re looking for is to find new friends, the guest at the dinner table would be total strangers and your speech is an introduction of YOU. If the Comeback role is a New Business? The dinner guests could include Investors even your bank Manager and the speech is a summary of your Business plan. Whatever the role is your looking for a Comeback decides the guests at the dinner table. Think of the people sitting at the table, what would you say to them? It’s not easy as like all other parts of your Comeback it relies heavily on Honesty, and you have cop some flak from yourself and others. I remember after being back in Australia for a couple of months it was time for one of those after dinner speeches although in this case it was Lunch at McDonalds in Murray Bridge. It was an intimate Lunch just myself and my daughter Miranda, but it was going to be tough and I had rehearsed that speech for days, written it down readying myself for the moment. Why was it so tough? You see Miranda was only a few weeks old when Chrissie and I split up. I am not proud of that fact and it has taken me years to face up to it as one of my shames, but what was done was done and I cannot afford to carry around the dead when I’m trying to move forward and create a Comeback with Miranda.

The Comeback

Over Miranda’s entire Fifteen years I had seen her in person a total of one week. The last picture I had of Miranda? She was I think eight years old, she had long curly hair, big thick eyebrows like her Dad - she was so gorgeous (like her mum). Over the years we had spoken on the phone but the words were few, and here now I am faced with a grown up girl, mature, at high school, my daughter in body but a long way away in heart. I had prepared the speech, I was determined to say sorry and admit huge failings on my part. I wanted so much to have a relationship with my daughter, my other children it was a little easier to repair as we had history. I had changed their bottoms, taken them to the Doctors, helped them with little cuts and bruises, but with Miranda none of these existed. In reality Miranda and I were total strangers. We sat down, it was so awkward, and my poor baby didn’t know what to say, she explained to me that she was so nervous she didn’t want to say the wrong thing. She also told me she was so excited at this moment as she had dreamed about it, she had dreamed that one day she could sit down but most importantly she had dreamed of hugging the dad she did not know, her speech was simple but so special. I held my daughter’s hand and started by saying sorry. I was sorry for leaving her, I was sorry for not trying to make regular contact, I was sorry for forgetting so many birthdays, so many Christmas times. I was sorry that I was not there the times she fell to pick her up, my sorry list went on for what seemed eternity, and then I told her. Miranda

Chat Two. Time to take off the Bubble…

what I am not sorry for is you are my daughter and I loved you then and I love you more now and my pride in what you have become cannot be measured - please give me the honour of a Comeback into your life as your father. For the first time, in so many years, a father hugged his daughter, and a Daughter was held safely by her father. All my sins and been exposed nothing could hold us back, the truth of our love was at last set free, the bubble wrap was off. So, let’s write your after dinner speech now. It will be stronger and more precise than your first FedEx as the bubble wrap is now off in the FedEx part of your mind. It’s time to go to the next level of your Comeback, and it’s time to get ready to Rumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.

5 Chat Three. Get Ready to Rumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeee eeee I know it’s all a big show but I love watching WWF on TV. I love the big huge build-ups before a match, the fireworks, the loud music, the Wrestlers taunting and egging their opponents on. It’s all good fun, then they get in the ring and the announcer screams out over the PA “Let’s Get Ready to Rumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee.” I think George felt the same Build Up thinking about the guests at the dinner table! George was not ready for the Rumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee. 57

The Comeback

We have talked through beginning our DHL Script, moving to FedEx and then taking off the bubblewrap so we can get ready to rumble. But you notice I say “Get Ready” it’s not “Ready” When George had faced all those people at the Dinner Party, he was faced with reality. There would be no running away from that and he would have to face his FedEx script and after writing yours you will also be facing the same reality. Are you really ready to rumble? The wonderful thing about creating the FedEx script is that it’s an Honesty check; it’s a statement of are you ready? And if not, what do you need to do, change, improve on and face. It is an identifier of all the Feelings? Emotion? Desires? Experience? And Xcuses? Can you start to see now where I say we break it into small edible chunks? Feelings.How do you really feel about what you are doing and what you should be doing? Emotion.What’s this doing to you emotionally, how is and where is it affecting you? Desires.What do you really want to accomplish? Experience.Can you handle the rumble? What changes do you have to make to yourself, what’s missing in you to make the script a reality? Xcuses.What is stopping you from moving forward, what do you fear from making the FedEx real? If we look at George, he’s DHL was probably along the lines of:

Chat Three. Get Ready to Rumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

I know it’s bad, in time I will sort it out I just need to keep all things separate, I can do that, I’m in control. Sure George, your life is a mess, destruction is imminent, potential job loss yep you’re in control. NOT Now when George got to the dinner he had no idea of the rumble that was about to take place. Would George and everyone else be a lot happier if he got READY to rumble, if he sat down and worked through his FedEx script and his potential Comeback? George was lucky that I took him through that little exercise as he has a great chance of avoiding the 100% certain rumble that would happen sooner or later with wife, Girlfriend, Kids and Boss separately or all at once but the outcome would affect them all including George. Before that little Exercise George really didn’t think that he knew the answer to all the questions the FedEx asks, but being faced with it so dramatically in his mind’s eye he now had no choice, as the mind makes no distinction between reality and fiction. When faced with a thought, the mind will automatically switch the body into action to make stuff happen and in George’s case that was our next step. George didn’t know it but his true feelings were activated when he witnessed the Visions of the dinner party. His answer to the first point of FedEx which is FEELINGS was answered by who he felt the most pain for out of all the people at the dining table, who would he want to run to and hug and protect from this scene. In most cases break ups are done in separate venues, you don’t get a bunch of people in a room and announce the fact you’re

The Comeback

leaving for another women or man. The Kids are sheltered from it and usually hear conflicting sides of the story, the Family tend to take sides or play the Good Samaritan to all parties. The Boss, well he may feel a bit of betrayal and George will have to face that later as for friends? They tend to end up with whichever party they are aligned to in the first place. The Girlfriend? She just sits back and prepares for the collateral damage. If George was looking at a new Business Venture Comeback role, would he be ready for the dinner party? Would he have all the answers to all the questions that would come from his guest list of Accountants, Investors, Bank Managers, friends and family that he will need the support of? Georgeâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s DHL might look like: Wow that seems like a good idea, yep I can do that, I will be making money in no time and my friends will support me. If George was a little out of shape and about to begin a Comeback in the exercise role, would he have a script that works or would it change if he was making a speech in front of the family, friends even his Doctor? DHL? These few extra pounds will disappear in no time, I could run like a champion in high school, I will buy the new Nike get up early and Jog - tomorrow is a great time to start. Whatever the role? The comeback, the Dinner Speech will give you the true FedEx Script, and will always identify the areas you need to work on, before you can Rumbleeeeeeeeeeee. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s read it again, by having the dinner party and identifying the:

Chat Three. Get Ready to Rumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

Feelings.How do you really feel about what you are doing and what you should be doing? Emotion.What’s this doing to you emotionally, how is where is it affecting you? Desires.What do you really want to accomplish? Experience.Can you handle the rumble? What changes do you have to make to yourself, what’s missing in you to make the script a reality Xcuses. What is stopping you from moving forward, what do you fear from making the FedEx real? We can move much deeper. Why do we need to do this? Why can’t we just run with our DHL version? Why do we have to go so deep and look at issues, problems and drama? Well that’s what some of you may be thinking but the truth of that matter is it’s a lot better to look at stuff before it hits you rather than waiting! The success rate of your Comeback is far greater if you indentify and “toughen” yourself us against the situations circumstances and people that put you behind the eight ball in your first round of life! If we look at our lives and the amount of DHL scripts we have written and we look at the reasons why there was never any real comeback in the roles we were aiming for, I can Guarantee you there will be screams from the mountaintop saying “But I tried” and you like me? Most likely did try, some for a second, some for a while but it still ends up being a try and the only game in the world where a try means anything is Rugby. To the rest of the world it means it didn’t work.

The Comeback

The main reason behind most things not working is we don’t take a good look at things, we don’t investigate, we are not truthful, we really don’t want to open the door too wide as it seems way too scary in the house of forward movement. But we have to as otherwise we will end up totally in the abyss of deep crap that the DHL of scripts will create for us. The mirror of life will help you see the truth, what is the mirror of life? It’s an excellent invention, it doesn’t lie, and it makes you take a real great look at yourself and its standard equipment in every household in the world. Try it you will be shocked, have you been talking to somebody seeking the truth and they can’t even look you straight in the face? They stand head down, or eyes left and right, shuffle and stammer they are a mess, well guess what? When you face yourself the same thing happens – it’s very difficult to lie. So go and stand in front of the mirror and ask yourself “Are you ready to rumble with The Comeback in…… (Your Choice what role) Then one by one ask yourself those questions again and watch the reaction: Feelings.How do you really feel about what you are doing and what you should be doing? Emotion.What’s this doing to you emotionally, how is where is it affecting you? Desires.What do you really want to accomplish? Experience.Can you handle the rumble? What changes do you have to make to yourself, what’s missing in you to make the script a reality Xcuses. What is stop-

Chat Three. Get Ready to Rumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee…

ping you from moving forward, what do you fear from making the FedEx real? The Mirror of Life doesn’t lie - watch yourself and be surprised. So before getting ready to rumble in the FedEx script come back of your life? Seek first to understand, appreciate, evaluate all the bumps, twists, turns, obstacles that could stand in the way of fulfilment, then look at the how, why, what, when of ways, means and actions that will make it a reality and we can score instead of try. That’s what we are looking for when we want to win. How do I summarise all of what I have just said in the last paragraph? How do you get ready to Rumbleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee????? DO Something but take Baby Steps

6 Chat Four. Baby Steps Baby steps to greatness? Sounds pretty simple doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t it? In reality it is simple but like moving a 747 Jet with your teeth it is simple once you get the damn big huge thing moving! When I think about it, the 747 teeth pulling exercise is pretty similar to making our FedEx Comeback Script work. Here you have this huge massive multi ton piece of technology, and hanging right off the nose of it is a small cable with a mouthpiece that a little (with lots of muscles) guy sticks in his mouth and starts pulling. Slowly but surely the big huge plane starts to creep forward a millimetre at a time but then ha-ha it gains momentum and soon this impossible task has been achieved. The small but muscle bound man has moved this huge mammoth machine.

The Comeback

When we look at our lives and the Comebacks we desire, and we have completed our FedEx script and realise the gaps between us and the desired Comeback, well the whole exercise may well now resemble the 747 the guy is trying to pull with his teeth; but like the plane moving? It’s all possible. All you have to do is? Do Something. But how, you may now be saying? What did Al Pacino say in the movie “On Any Given Sunday”? It’s a matter of Inches! Pacino’s speech went like this: “I don’t know what to say really. Three minutes to the biggest battle of our professional lives all comes down to today. Either we heal as a team or we are going to crumble. Inch by inch play by play till we’re finished. We are in hell right now. Gentlemen believe me and we can stay here and get the shit kicked out of us or we can fight our way back into the light. We can climb out of hell, one inch at a time. Now I can’t do it for you. I’m too old. I look around and I see these young faces and I think I mean I made every wrong choice a middle age man could make. I uh….I passed away all my money believe it or not. I chased off anyone who has ever loved me. And lately, I can’t even stand the face I see in the mirror. You know when you get old in life things get taken from you. That’s, that’s part of life. But, you only learn that when you start losing stuff. You find out that life is just a game of inches.“ Wow I love that speech. If we look at it one of the major secrets of DOING something is contained in that speech. Pacino talks about inch by inch but we can easily change to step by step for achieving our Comeback.

Chat Four. Baby Steps

Now there are thousands of books and CD, DVD thingy’s out in the world that look at ways and means of achieving our Life’s Purpose, Our Destiny, Success, Financial Independence Goals etc. Some of them say we don’t have to anything we just think it and like Aladdin’s magic lamp all will suddenly appear. Some say it’s all in setting goals, some say it’s all about positive thinking, some say, some say, well they all say and none of it is right or wrong, statistics prove that, but statistics can also prove that an elephant can hold onto a blade of grass and not fall off a cliff! The Comeback is my Book so you will be asking what I think works? Ha-ha and I have found through years and years of experience and working with some of the greats, watching them, the major part of their success is pretty simple, inch-by-inch they do something. When I got off the plane in 2009, I really thought all and sundry would come to me. I sat back and waited and waited. If I would have waited any longer I would not be sitting here writing this book, I would not be talking to my kids every day, I would not be having lunch with my sister every Wednesday, I would not be Guest speaking to the MBA Program in Beijing and I would not be having Christmas dinner with my Brother and his family this weekend. So what did I do? Ha Ha you have been waiting for that I know, but as I said inch by inch! The secret of Inch-by-Inch, small chunks, baby steps is contained in the process we are looking at. We are talking about a Comeback, that means it’s something you have

The Comeback

done before, it’s something that back in the day you were good at, but along the way something went wrong, circumstances changed, you got older and wiser or dumber, gained a little weight, the grass was greener on the other side, whatever it was? Time past, and now you’re in the search Zone; you’re looking for that Comeback on whatever it is. For you? As Sylvester Stallone said in the last Rocky movie “There is something left in the Basement” Do something, believe it or not, is an easy process if you just focus on it that way. The easiest thing to do in life is something that you have done before. I worked at McDonalds something like 30 years ago but to this day I could get behind the counter and no problem say “ Would you like Fries with that”. I can go without riding a motorbike for a few years and then get straight back on and within a few minutes I’m riding the thing like a pro; I learnt to swim over forty years ago but show me water and its Butterfly, Breaststroke, Freestyle whatever you like. So many things in our lives we can do blindfolded even after many years of not doing them and for the Comeback and the DO SOMETHING, that’s what we will rely on. All we are doing is reaching back into our Brains to tap into a pre-existing pattern of learned behaviour (Wow that was deep) but if you think that way it is so much easier. Think about this for a minute, what I’m about to say, well it’s not negative it’s a demonstration. Let’s look at all those poor people out there that are addicted to something, could be gambling, could be alcohol, could be drugs, could be pain killers could be anything but it’s an

Chat Four. Baby Steps

addiction. Now they at one stage decided enough is enough and they go and seek help. It could be rehab, a therapist, could be hypnotherapy could be all sorts of different treatments. They do the course and they stop doing what they were doing they walk away from the addiction but they will always state, “I’m an Addict”. They realise that if they keep that thought pattern they have almost like a safety net built around then, they realise that they cannot afford to take a risk and frequent whatever place or circumstance that could trigger a “Backslide” Drug addicts would stay away from bars and parties and even old friends that might put them in a space where they could easily take advantage of drugs. Alcoholics avoid bars, Gamblers stay away from the race track and Casinos, even shopaholics don’t go to anything that has a sign that says 50% off! The addict, realises that they are subject to that ‘learnt Behaviour” and stay well clear of it, they do not want to be in the position that could highlight a weakness and they could fall back to a place where they don’t want to be. A comeback runs on the principle that we do WANT to be in a space that activates that learnt behaviour, we want to be an addict for the Comeback role we are searching for, we WANT to surround ourselves with people, places, activities that will stimulate that learnt behaviour, and we are following the same steps. IN all things that are human habits or actions, it’s all LEARNT behaviour, and once learnt it cannot be unlearnt. It’s like when you deleted something from your PC it’s still there somewhere hiding

The Comeback

a way and with a few steps inch by inch you can find that file. So to activate the Comeback all we need to is to start work again, fire up the old file, and we do that inch by inch, as like all things learnt it didn’t allways happen overnight, it was a series of little baby steps. Just like how we started do all things we take for granted, let’s take a look at how we grew up! Let’s start with learning to talk? Many researchers believe the work of understanding language begins while a baby is still in Mummy’s tummy. Just as an unborn baby gets used to the steady beat of your heart, he tunes into the sound of your voice. Days after birth, he’s able to discern your voice among others.Crying? The sound we can’t stand sometimes is our first form of communication. And one cry doesn’t fit all: A piercing scream may mean he’s hungry, while a whimpering, staccato cry may signal that he needs a diaper change. As he gets older, he’ll develop a delightful repertoire of gurgles, sighs, and coos. As for his ability to understand language he’s starting to pick up what words sound like and how sentences are structured as he listens to those around him. Real conversation? I know you may often think that some people haven’t ever learnt this skill! But it takes around two years before a child can totally understand and reply to what we say. To eat by yourself? When we are born we have a pretty fragile system and its going to take a little while to train it for our first juicy steak! For the first three months of our lives we are stuck on drinking rather than eating, from 3

Chat Four. Baby Steps

months to six months we get to enjoy all that lovely mashed up liquid gunk, from 8 to 12 months we get to eat some solid food such as bananas and other fruit and the occasional piece of soggy bread. It takes a full eighteen or so months of slow introduction before we can enjoy what we would eat in out grown up lives. As for the simple things in life? Potty Trained? Well you might not remember but let me remind you that little chore started at around two years of age and takes about a year to master before we know and understand that feeling that needs to make sure we don’t wear kimbies to the office! So all the things we tend to take for granted, eating, sleeping, walking, talking and even using the porcelain in the smallest room of the house? Took a few years and were all baby steps but we never forget them. Even the addicts we mentioned earlier didn’t get that way overnight it takes time, slowly but surely the addiction takes over; people are not born with a needle in the arm, a whisky bottle in their mouth and a Horse Race form guide in there fist - it gets learnt, and I know for a fact it took many years of practise to become a shopaholic! Let’s look at a relationship that is in trouble. The trouble like the original joy when they begun didn’t happen overnight, it took baby steps of destruction to happen. People just don’t wake up in the morning and during the process of brushing their teeth say“Today is a good day to start an affair”. No, many little steps have been taken along the way. I know in my case, my Marriages to Dor and Chrissie had many sensational years of fun, joy and happiness it was only when a few things went

The Comeback

sour along the way that I began the baby steps to be an unfaithful husband. If you talk to either one of these great women they will both tell you I was and am a great mate, I was sadly a shocking husband. So what goes wrong? It’s all good, why do things change? Well if we look at it they really don’t change circumstances do and we don’t adapt, in other cases we tend to forget what got us to happiness in the first place and we stop doing it then we replace all the good baby steps with bad baby steps. Take circumstances, It could be that all of a sudden two happy people are joined by a screaming, hungry, nappy wetting third party and try and fit the little bundle of joy into the current lifestyle and live in the dream that “Things won’t change much” helllloooo, boy are you going to be surprised. Tend to forget? What about Valentine’s Day, romance, wining and dining, hot baths together, making love in strange places? Have you forgotten those? Or are you doing it with others? Sons and Daughters? Can you remember when they were first born? Wow we loved them so much didn’t we? Years of holding them, cuddling, loving, taking care, protecting; is it still that way? Or is it a daily ritual of a communication process that begins with “Dad I need money”, has silence in the middle, and ends with “see you later?” My own father? I respected so much but I didn’t really love him until a Comeback very late in life; thank god all was so good with our relationship a little time before he passed away. I respected my father as he was a wonderful man to others, he was brilliant in the community, he was a

Chat Four. Baby Steps

hard worker, dad was even awarded the OAM (Order of Australia Medal) by the Australian Government for services to the community, honest as the day was long, wouldn’t steal, and would always return what he borrowed. Dad was a brilliant Justice of the Peace and was President of the Victorian Justice Association for a record number of years, a brilliant man. In another level of circumstances he would have been an incredible judge I have no doubt. But I was angry with my Dad for not being a Dad when I grew up, he wasn’t like the other kids Dads and I was so angry with him for that. He would work seven days a week, he didn’t take us to the park to play footy, we didn’t go fishing or hunting, no Dad was always working, and when he wasn’t working he was going to some dinner or official function. I tell you so many other fathers I used to look at say “I wish you were my dad” and I felt that anger and disappointment right up until a few years ago, when I sat back and looked at my life, my values and considered where I had learnt them from, and the answer was my dad. My dad worked seven days a week not because he didn’t want to spend time with us kids, he did it so he could provide for us, the council job didn’t pay enough so he had to work as a part time security guard to make ends meet as back in the day Mums stayed home and dads provided. My dad taught me how to socialise. Once I had turned fourteen he started to take me along to dinners and social outings as he didn’t want to go alone and thought it would be good for my futures to mix and chat with knowledge-

The Comeback

able people. Here I was at fourteen meeting and chatting with Mayors, Local Politicians, Lawyers, Great Sports People, debating politics and sport subjects that I adore to this day, not argue, discuss. He taught me humility. We would often go to other peoples house’s that had less than we did, houses where there was no furniture, no food, not much hope. Dad would take them Milk and Bread and then we would sit and talk with Old People, Disadvantaged People, whilst we sat on smelly couches dad had often found for them at the local tip, and we would talk and drink tea from chipped Cups. He taught me responsibility. It could be three o’clock in the Morning and some distraught Mum or Dad would knock on our Door as they had a child at the Police station for whatever reason, and they needed a Justice to help bail them out. It could have been a Young Mother that had been assaulted by a Drunken Husband and needed help on how to report it to the police. It was always late, but Dad had a responsibility and he did not take that lightly and I became the same. He taught me honesty, I was six years old and I stole a chocolate from the local supermarket. He knew we couldn’t afford those Caramel Bears and asked me where I got it from. I could not lie to him, so he marched me all the way back to the Supermarket asked for the Manager and made me hand over the Chocolate bear and apologise. My relationship with my father had baby steps of dissatisfaction when I was younger, but as the years went

Chat Four. Baby Steps

along, I realised so much of what Shane Hodge stands for, what he has achieved were the result of the baby steps of greatness Lindsay Hodge had set for me. I charted a course for a Comeback with my Dad, and in the end, I not only respected him, but I loved him more. So do you see where Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m coming from now? To make the Comeback happen and be a reality we need to focus on the fact, we have done it, been it, seen it, acted it before and therefore with little baby steps we can do it again.

7 Chat Five. Lining up the Ducks We just chatted that Comebacks are all about doing something that we have done before, reactivating something we have already learnt, and we have the FedEx script to help us find the DUCKS we have to line up to make our script make our Comeback a reality. Who started this ducks in row thingy? Well think about it, when you see ducks walking along a garden path they are pretty well perfectly organised and arranged from the biggest duck down to the smallest duck - all walking in a straight line and even if they zigzag? The formation stays the same from big duck to small duck they are all lined up. Pretty smart for ducks huh? The phrase has been used for so long to describe getting you all organised, getting all 77

The Comeback

things, places, action into a nice tidy line and then going to work on things, putting action into place. The funny thing about the ducks? When they are walking in straight organised line, when one of them falls out of place, what happens? Well very strange the duck that falls out of the line will compose itself for a second, shake its little feathers and then almost by instinct get back in the line and very quickly is joining its little friends instep and in unison walking down the road. So what has ducks in row got to do with the whole Comeback thing? It has two points that we can use as a simple reminder of what we need to focus on to make our comeback activated and moving. The first point is that getting our ducks in a row is taking the points that our FedEx contains that need to be worked on by getting ready to rumble. The second point that we will cover shortly is that even when one of our little ducks get out of line? It doesn’t stop the other ducks walking, it just needs to shake its feathers and catch up! You Remember George? Yep he is my friend that has some issues, upset wife, upset family, upset kids, upset Boss and potential hugely upset Life. In George’s case his goose is close to being in the over and cooked! So let’s use George’s FedEx script and see what little ducks he needs to have lined up in a row. At the dinner party George was dramatically brought face to face with the ducks he needs to line up. He has to consider who he really wants to hug, but it’s not that simple.

Chat Five. Lining up the Ducks

George may want to hug them but the feeling might not be mutual. George may be thinking that it’s all pretty simple and people that are close to him will forgive and forget and life will be back to some form of normality really quick, and the little ducks in Georges life will quickly be walking in a nice organised straight line again. Sorry George that’s not going to be the case, as we have shown before that if you think any part of the Comeback can just be jumped straight into? It won’t work it’s a DHL and a Lie. To line up the little duckies of life takes time. Think of a Horse for a minute. (Where did that come from you might be thinking ha-ha). Wonderful huge creatures, powerful, fast can be relaxing or exciting depends on the temperament of the horse and your ability. One thing is for sure it also depends on how much time and effort has been taken to break the horse in! Now if the person breaking in the horse rushed into the whole process, if the ducks are not lined up in a row, if it’s all too rushed without care and comfort that horse will end up being the Horse from hell that nobody can or wants to ride; it will buck and spit and carry on any time a saddle let alone a person comes close to it, and in the end that horse will be a lonely old nag just walking around the paddock eating grass until the day its dies. But, lets imagine it another way. The horse arrives at the breaker’s stable, all young and jittery and for the first few days it’s at the stable it gets to just walk around the little paddock circle that will over a period of time change its life. As it walks around the circle it sees a piece of rope

The Comeback

hanging over the fence, it sees it and gets used to it so when the breaker places it over his head he is not that spooked by it and the horse just keeps going round and round in circles this time being lead by the rope that he once saw hanging on the fence. Over the coming weeks the Horse is slowly introduced to a Bridle, a Bit, a Blanket and then finally a saddle. All these things have been slowly introduced to the Horse so he is not nervous of them, he is comfortable with the changing of his environment, with the slow introduction of all these things by the Breaker he is trusting and comfortable. Then when the day finally comes for the breaker to put all these things on the horse, and climb up into the saddle, the horse is accepting and comfortable. As over a period of time, trust and rapport has been built up with the Breaker and the Horse, there have been no surprises and soon the horse is out of the little circle and running through the paddocks with the Breaker happily on his back also enjoying the ride, a match made in heaven! The Comeback and lining up the little ducks in a row of your FedEx is similar to breaking in a wild horse. Now Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m not saying that you are surrounded by OLD Nags, what I am saying is that if you jump into it with building trust and rapport, jump into it without conditioning yourself and others around you? What you will end up with is a crazy bucking bronco of a horse that does not want to be ridden and your Comeback like the horse? Will end up in a paddock wasting time eating grass until it dies. Imagine George, he has most likely lost trust and faith from many people. If George decided he is going to

Chat Five. Lining up the Ducks

Comeback as a husband and father he could not just run and hold his wife and kids and sorry and all would be forgiven. Sorry does not put Humpty Dumpty back together again. It’s funny though as the DHL of life thinks it does, we think that we can just use a bunch of superglue stick old Humpty back together and all will be good. Yep we can but damn Humpty looks so ugly with all the cracks and glue hanging out the side and is nowhere near as good as he was, Humpty is just another horse eating grass in the back paddock of life! What George must understand as you and I also must? Is that if our Comeback is personal? We can’t just say sorry, we cannot pretend that all will be ok; we cannot just push the dust under the carpet and think that all is fine and dandy. What we all have to do is create our Comeback as a re-birth, take little baby steps and make it the most sensational comeback that you will get a lifetime achievement award for awesome work, not an Academy award for brilliant acting! So how do we do that? What’s a great process to assist us in making a plan to begin our baby steps? Well I believe honesty is the best policy and the first step is to admit where you really stand on the DHL side of the script and compare it to the FedEx with a good old-fashioned score of one to ten, one being a disaster and ten being perfect. Now taking into account that if you score a ten you don’t need a Comeback as you’re already there! I think we can honestly say there won’t be many tens in your score, and to make it a little more on the honest scale

The Comeback

whatever you write down for what we are about to do you can also subtract 1 point. So how? We take it back to baby steps or chunks, we look at the DHL script and we start to divide it into sections. We can divide it by habits we may need to change, attitudes, people we have to build or let go of relationships with, we can divide by Kilos if it’s a physical comeback or you can even use your Pulse rate as a guide. The whole idea is to look at all the areas you need to work on for whatever it is that your Comeback will be. Look at the DHL, compare it to the FedEx and ask yourself the question “where do I stand now” What is my actual position? And remember to take off an additional point! As an example let’s look at my son Kyle, he was over at my house for his Christmas break, he is 18 and going through all the trials and tribulations we go through at that stage. Sadly he lost his job on Christmas Eve, he has a rough relationship with his Mum and two sisters, lost his Girlfriend, his even gotten a little overweight and the six pack has gone on vacation. In Kyle’s mind things are really tough and the world is on his shoulders and he asked the Motivator dad for help. I asked him to write his DHL and that took all of two minutes and was a total of about two paragraphs. Then I said yippee truth time lets write your FedEx. Well that took a few hours and ended up several pages long, and in between each page was a lot of squirming and suffering and heavy breathing noises. He didn’t like it that much at all. When he was done I asked him to compare both and

Chat Five. Lining up the Ducks

do the oldy but goody score and he had a lot of 7 and 8â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s. I then took him through each part of his scripts line by line and our score changed to a lot more 3 and 4â&#x20AC;&#x2122;s! We then started to dissect the script into baby steps that he would need to take. He needed to work on his roles as Son, Brother, Fitness, Work and in reality even though he thought he had it all covered, and would be easy for his Comeback in all areas, once he started down the path of truth he soon found he was a little light in certain areas and the good old Kyle super smile and enthusiasm was not enough to make his Comeback a reality. We looked at all his honesty scores and his desired script. He really wanted to have a better relationship with his Mum which had become very strained over the years; bit of problem as he is the only guy in a house of girls and they all tend to take anything out on him (poor Fella). The relationship with the sisters had been on a backslide since they all reached teenage years and occasional squabbles had now bordered on civil war within the house. After years of being super fit, running, riding, he got his licence, could go to the pubs and clubs so the lack of exercise was showing wear and tear in the once shaped arms and tummy now resembling the glass his favourite drink came in - skinny at the top rounded in the middle and flat at the bottom! I asked which script he wanted to work on first and he shot straight back with his relationship with his Mum, quickly followed by his sisters. His Mum was super important to him as he shared that his whole day was often ruined by the fights and arguments he would have with her. Then as an onlfow his sis-

The Comeback

ters would jump in to support Mum, so if he fixed that his life in many areas would have some huge Comebacks. So the next issue was “How to line Up the Ducks”. What are the ducks in Kyle’s case with building a Comeback with his relationship with his Mum? How did we get to them? The first question we had already asked and that is what your DHL is for that Comeback. The second question was what the FedEx is? These two items then gave us the score of where he really stands right now, and the score is the key to finding the ducks. In Kyle’s case I asked him, “Ok, Looking at the score, let your imagination run wild for a minute, don’t think can or cannot, just think what are five things you could do that would line up the ducks of Kyle’s life and make a successful comeback as a Son and Mum relationship”? A long-winded question huh? The result was sensational, he huffed and puffed and then let out a big sigh and then offloaded twenty things he could do that would make this Comeback a reality. They may seem small but a few of them really put petrol on the fire when it came to igniting his Mums anger and therefore making the relationship a disaster. He felt, he could tidy up his room on daily basis (normal) he felt he could cook dinner occasionally, he should clean the dishes, help clean the house, mow the lawn, learn to use the washing machine, learn to put lids back on things, learn to not leave empty packets in the cupboard and he could give his mum some encouragement and the occasional hug. All sound pretty simple but if we went to 95% of the houses in any country in the world and looked at the gap between

Chat Five. Lining up the Ducks

parents and children, some on the verge of huge drama get them to write a DHL and FedEx, ask the truth question then I would guarantee you that the answer to the same questions we asked Kyle would pretty well come up with the same answers as Kyle. Comebacks for Parents and Children are not rocket science in m most cases there is no need for an analyst or Psychologist, it’s all a matter of really working hard on the little things and the big things will just about take care of themselves. When we went to work on the relationship with his sisters the activities he said would help were in most cases similar to what he needed to do with his Mum’s Comeback - Communicate, Appreciate, Acknowledge all these words and associated actions were the things he needed to make happen in his Comeback Quest. His Body? The former toned athlete version? Pretty simple, walk, run, drink less but strangely he also said “Value Life”. Sad thing about teenagers and it appears to happen around fifteen years old - once they hit fifteen, they fall into the “Superman” syndrome. Nothing can hurt or harm them, then like magic at around thirty a little valve opens up in their body and opens up “reality” juice and they start then to realise that they are breakable and vulnerable and so are people and relationships around them. His Job Comeback? He did some soul searching and realised his greatest love for a job would be the police force (and a part time DJ). But he also discovered that his partying, his mates, had left him with a pretty shallow end focus on the future and he would really need to buckle

The Comeback

down and put some study time in place if he wanted to pass the exams of entrance, he had to actually watch the news and read newspapers so he could be up to date on the world around him rather than the dashboard of his car, and the bottom of a Jim Beam and coke bottle. Kyle’s journey into the truth of his life and where he wanted to be rather then where he thinks he has to be uncovered a big gap and a lot of work he realised would need to be done. Is Kyle alone? It’s a sad thing that many of today’s teenage kids have the same DHL driving there lives while on the inside they are screaming out for the truth to set them free. I know I use the term “Back in the Day” are lot, but I believe it, someone once said to me the good old days are now? What planet did he step from I wonder? Our newspapers, Televisions are filled daily with senseless acts of Violence, Drunken kids beating each other up, crashing cars into trees, rapes, stabbings. Did that happen back in the day? Are these the good old days the man talked about? I don’t think so. We desperately need to give our youth, your sons, daughters, nieces, nephews one legacy sooner than later, it is to teach them a Comeback, to give them a glimpse and chance at “back in the Day” when we respected each other, our elders, our teachers, authority. We have to begin to line up the ducks of a Comeback to Values, Integrity, Team Spirit, Community Spirit, and Family Spirit. I’m not talking about ducks of religion or socialism I’m talking about ducks that make not only sense but action and harmony.

Chat Five. Lining up the Ducks

Lining up the Ducks is not enough by themselves, saying it is not enough, promising is not enough and we have many days like that. Days like New Year’s Eve and the day after tend to take us all on the same discovery course as Kyle, I can guarantee you have said to yourself during these two days that “I have to change this” or “I have to give up that”. You have probably heard the same quotes from people around you. It’s all good and it is a great time to start so let’s pretend its New Years Eve and start to go to work on our honesty score. Let’s identify the gaps and start to line up the Ducks ready for a plan of doing. I choose doing instead of action as I feel that Doing is a constant thing where as action reminds me of the start of a movie, or a battle you need another person to Yell ACTION, thinking DOING and including it in your daily talk keeps things in contact motion no need for someone to yell out ACTION, you’re DOING. So we now move on and look at the creation of our DOING Plan. We can take all those little honesty ducks we have lined up and begin to make them walk along the yellow brick road of our lives and make the Comeback in you a reality. So let’s remember that when asked or asking yourself are you working on it? No - you’re Doing It!

8 Chat Six. Just Doing it. I love the Nike saying ‘Just Do It”. I can remember years ago a great picture of the then coach of St Kilda Football Club Ken Sheldon and myself it was on the front of the Melbourne Age newspaper. We were standing under the banner the players would run through as they went on the ground and it had the words “DO IT”. I wish I had kept a copy of that picture, it was a good day and the Saints did what the banner said and just “Did It” and beat Carlton that day. I remember my dad was so proud his son was on the front page of the Age, it didn’t mention my name but we knew what it was all about. My role 89

The Comeback

with St Kilda was to part of the team to help keep the motivation going, to make sure that the Club would make its first finals series appearance in many years. It was a great time for me, the players did an awesome job against all odds and made it through but sadly didn’t go all the way. In fact to this day it seems a bit of a hoodoo for them as it’s been since 1966 that they won a finals series. I spent two seasons part time with St Kilda and Ken, I made no direct money from it but I got to use it as a promotion. I learnt a lot and had the chance to be part of the highest level of sport you can be involved in Australia that being AFL football. The lessons it taught me are long standing and that banner saying “Do IT” has never left my memory. I will chat a little more about this adventure and its importance to the Comeback later in the book. I ended the last chapter with the words “You’re Doing It” and that is what we will focus on now. Doing It means you’re involved, it means your taking forward steps, it means you’re in control of Your Comeback, it means you’re not sitting back on your behind letting the world pass you over. Doing it is a wonderful thing as you can’t hit a moving target! I talked a lot about my son Kyle in the last chapter. I have four children all of them with awesome talent, they can sing they can dance, they can act I always tell them its obvious they got the best parts of my DNA, and their Mum reminds them but thank god they didn’t get my looks!

Chat Six. Just Doing it.

My eldest son is named Luke, he is a great kid, he has been in the outback the past few years, a drover, wild bull rider and now drives huge road trains. I’m very proud of Luke and what he has achieved as he had a pretty rough ride along the way, but Luke is a great example of “Doing IT”. You see Luke is a reformed Heroin Addict. He is 27 years old as I write this but if you would have asked me five years ago would he still be around I would have flatly said no. Luke began recreational drug use we think around 14 or 15. Like a lot of kids today he dabbled in Beer, tried a bit of Marijuana and then somebody introduced him to Smoking Heroin. It didn’t take long for the downward spiral to happen as Heroin tends to take hold addiction wise pretty fast. I remember having dinner with him when he was around sixteen and every 30 minutes he would excuse himself to go to the toilet and he would take a while then come back with a glazed look on his face and pretty relaxed. I noticed that his skin was not so good, teeth a little grey, but I kept thinking yes he’s a messy teenager, pimples are part of the course and maybe having dinner with dad is not so exciting anymore and that is why he is quiet. Within no time his Mum started to notice money disappearing from her purse, his work with his uncles as a mechanic started to have problems as he would often not turn up till late or not at all, and within a few short months he was staying away from home days on end. It all got a bit much for his Uncles and they fired him. His Mum tried to talk to him but his behaviour was out of control and so was his temper so she just worried and prayed that

The Comeback

nothing bad would happen. Luke started to steal from his Mum’s house, his Grandparents house and he became almost a vampire sneaking into his room at daylight then as soon as the sun would set he would be off out into the night. He started to deteriorate, his weight, his skin, his health got worse and worse as did his theft of his family’s belongings. We don’t know what else he did but I’m sure it was not good and most likely illegal. We tried to get him into rehab but after a day or so he would escape and then we would not hear from him until he would arrive at his Mother’s door, starving and cold and she would feed him give him bed for a day or two then the cravings for drugs would takeover and he would slip away into the night. Luke’s drug problem finally got the better of his whole value system when on one Christmas Eve he stole the payroll from his Uncles’ workshop and went on a huge drug bender that ended up with him being arrested and facing a pretty dismal future in jail or in reality death. His Uncles wanted to charge him and the Police wanted them to as they knew Luke was responsible for many crimes in the area, but with begging from his Mum the brothers dropped the charges on one condition - that being that Luke had to get out of town that day. So Luke was faced with a pretty tough choice, Jail or leaves today, no rehab, no drugs, nowhere to go - potentially no hope. He tried to get his Mum to help but she did the hardest thing for a mother she turned her back on him. She gave him a little bit of money and told him no choice son you are on your own. Luke turned to many people but all of them turned away. That night he got on a bus and

Chat Six. Just Doing it.

left for Alice Springs and left a huge amount of damage behind him. I cannot imagine the pain he must have gone through on that bus trip, once the withdrawals set in it must have been so tough. Luke told me he had a little bit of heroin with him and that helped him just make it to Alice Springs and then once off the bus he as faced with a huge problem. You see Luke had a DHL that had been with him for so many years, he had the DHL of a drug addict which usually goes along the lines of “People Don’t Understand me” or “I can handle this, It doesn’t control me I can give it up whenever!” “What are people going on about” I can pull though this. But the facts were he was out of control, no support, no money and the withdrawals were setting in fast. Luke was then faced with the grim reality that his DHL was just that a bunch of lies and his FedEx was the facts and he had to face the honesty test as that is all he had left. Luke’s options had run out. Luke struggled through the days and nights sleeping wherever he could, eating whatever came his way, drinking from whatever tap he could find and then after enduring the painful days of withdrawals with no medication to help him he was over what he thought was the worst of it. He was in small town with not much around but it was an overnight stopping point for Interstate Truck drivers and tourists, it had a large pub that was also a motel. He had a deep discussion with himself and knew that without work he wasn’t going to last long or he had to look at the other option of breaking into cars to give him the extra cash he needed to go back. He then realised that

The Comeback

was not an option as he was basically welcome nowhere, Luke had to get his Comeback happening he had to get involved in DOING it and fast. He thought Job and used what little money he had left to buy himself a razor went to the caravan park made himself look respectable and walked up to the Pub/Hotel and asked to see the manager. Luke told the Manager he had just arrived and then he told him the truth about his life and asked the guy for help and said he was willing to wash toilets, mop floors -anything -he just needed a job. The honesty must have worked as Luke started that very day, his first role was to clean the hotel units on a daily basis, change sheets, clean showers and hour by hour he had to battle the physical flashbacks to his addictions. Luke called me and asked how to achieve a real comeback, how to Comeback as a human being, to be respected, to work, to have joy and I went through the process with him over the phone for what seemed hours. He wanted to work on a cattle station but his real dream was one day to drive road trains. Driving road trains that are sometimes five trailers long around the outback is a pretty elite job and few get the chance and Luke had never even driven a delivery truck let alone a five trailer interstate beast. We decided to hold that dream of driving for a second and focus on the station work. We moved into his DHL, then his FedEx, then the honesty score and then we got deep into DOING it. Over the next few months Luke got stronger.

Chat Six. Just Doing it.

His health improved, his body started to get back into shape and he was becoming through the “Doing”, the Luke we all once knew so well and loved. Moreover he was networking hard and asking questions and soon his opportunity to work on a station arrived. Luke packed his swag and moved out into the middle of Australia to become a stockman. It wasn’t easy, he was a city bloke he had never ridden a horse, a motorbike - the closest he had gotten to a cow was a t-bone on his plate, but everyday he was DOING it and after a couple of years Luke became a fully fledged recognised Stockman and could get a job at any station in Australia. When his bosses were called for a reference they always said, “Luke? A great Bloke, hard worker, honest as the day is long and a damm good stockman.” This Luke? Only a few months earlier would never have heard words like that to describe him, Luke had made his Comeback. He left the outback after a few years and fulfilled his dream of being a road train driver and is happy and settled. Luke hasn’t touched drugs for over four years now, if you ask Luke what was the key to his Comeback he will reply it’s all a matter of taking the Honesty test, lining up the ducks and doing it. My pride for my Son Luke is immeasurable. We have looked at my two sons, chalk and cheese really, but both like you had the same aim, they wanted to achieve a Comeback. In Kyle’s case it was all about relationships in Luke’s case it was a about survival and personal comeback. You may be looking for the same or com-

The Comeback

pletely different Comebacks in your life but you will already know by what you are reading and have seen and witnessed in the world the DOING is actually the tough part, so how do we make it easier? We can’t, I won’t lie to you, it’s a tough thing as it involves planning, commitment and change and if you ask most of us would we prefer to avoid these three points that answer would be a resounding YES. People naturally avoid these three words as they can also involve another word and that’s FAILURE. But I’m a great believer in its better to have loved and lost rather than never have loved at all. I’m also a great believer that failure is not really the end of the quest, I believe that even when we fail at something we move one inch closer to success and the next time we have a go at DOING it will be even more successful until we finally achieve the Comeback we desire. When it comes to a Comeback, we can so easily fall into the trap of measuring a Comeback with a dollar figure or fame. If money is the measure of success for your Comeback I’m telling you right now, better close the book and buy Think and Grow Rich or some other success program. What I’m looking to do is to help you with a Comeback of YOU, a Comeback in relationships, Life, Health, all wrapped up in Love and that will be a huge catalyst to move into the “Think and Grow Rich Mode” but with a overider that you will be happier and enjoy it more. Why do I say that? Why is it that financial success seems to be the judging factor? Let me give you an

Chat Six. Just Doing it.

example. I was at one of my favorite clothing stores the other day, I have been there many times, I know the owner by name, wave to him each time I walk past his store, but it was only the other day when he actually asked me what I do for a living. I told him I do training mostly in China and I specialize in Human Development and set about to give a little overview of the Comeback and my Treasure Life Course that we hold on the Great Wall of China. He was impressed and then he asked the standard question, “What have you done in Business that qualifies you to teach others to do the same” You see? He like most people measure success by the amount of money you have made and what you have in the bank. My answer is a standard one; it’s a bit tough but does the job on explaining that success is not just a financial measure. I asked him if he truly bases success on the amount of money you have? His answer was yes. So I then asked him has he ever sat next to a bed that contains a person that is dying, he said yes. I then asked him if the final hours of that person’s life contained his or hers Bank Manager, Accountant, Investment Advisor or was the room filled with those the person had loved and cherished all the years of his life? He looked down at the floor. I have never been to a funeral that when I hear the Eulogy? It’s a Profit and Loss Statement of the Persons financial standing. The things that matter? Are the Things That Matter.

The Comeback

All of this needs the DOING IT, Ok, so let’s get back to the Doing. With Kyle, Luke, even John who owns the clothing store, the dream, desire of the Comeback is driven by the doing. We have shown the Honesty scale, we have identified some small things we could add to our daily lives that could assist the Comeback; we have to take that a step further. How to get involved in doing it? What is the secret recipe? The Great Dale Carnegie once said: Don’t be afraid to give your best to what seemingly are small jobs. Every time you conquer one it makes you that much stronger. If you do the little jobs well, the big ones will tend to take care of themselves. In that quote hides some of the secrets of doing it! Doing a little each day toward a major goal, this theory is not rocket science, it is mentioned in books by the greats such as Steven Covey, Anthony Robbins I think even President Obama talks about that in his book, so I’m not going to claim I have found a long lost solution the life quest of waking the road to greatness, what I will do is give you my version of how I do it and how I advise others on the art of DOING IT. Shane’s Quote? If you dig a little everyday sooner than later your backyard will have a swimming pool! Not as strong as Abraham Lincolns Gettysburg address, but it’s my recipe for the success of doing it. If you have a marriage that has years of damage, a health issue that you have created over time, a dream that you have let go, a total lack of Christmas cards from Family and friends, any Comeback you’re searching for in life is a

Chat Six. Just Doing it.

result of long term regular activity that ended up creating a problem. The secret of success in having a Comeback in any area you desire is to do what you have done backwards! You have to work on your EPA now - that’s not the Environment Protection Authority, your EPA stands for Enjoyment Plan of Action! Wow you may say that’s earth shattering! But it’s true. Look at all the damage we have done to the environment, if we just stop pouring junk in to the ocean and rivers sooner than later they repair themselves and are back to clear beautiful water. If you have been smoking for twenty years and quit, in a period of time your body will repair itself and will sooner than later you will be breathing, smelling almost as good as new. Life, Love relationships are the same. If you stop doing what is causing all the pollution and destruction and replace it with your own EPA sooner than later you will be back to what you originally started with and a Comeback will appear. Think about a Boyfriend and Girlfriend - wow so much time and effort is spent on impressing, caring and sharing. Nights out, day trips, contact SMS of Love, laughing, joking, smiling even singing and gifts. It’s all so wonderful then the pollutions starts (some call it marriage) and the rot begins to set in, over a period of time the sweet smell of all the former wonderful events is replaced by a LACK of impressing, caring and sharing, the same with Laughing, joking and smiling and the pollutants of anger, disappointment, unhappiness begin to pollute the waters of love. In other relationships? Boredom, Sickness, frustration, lack of Trust, No Communication, and Disappointment

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all can become great polluters of our life’s roles and some or all have to be dealt with to realise and enjoy our Comeback, we need to call in our EPA. Your EPA is a daily ritual, each and every day making a small contribution to clean up the pollutants of your life, activities that will enhance and beatify you and those around you and restore them to a state of joy that they once had, and I don’t know of one human being in the world that does not want to be in that state! So, get out that pen and paper, and start writing. Write down a great long list of small baby steps activities that will begin the process of restoring your Comeback environment, ask yourself what can I do today for my Comeback role as Husband, Wife, Girlfriend, Boyfriend, what small strep can I put in my EPA for my Comeback as Businessman, Worker, fitness guru, Golfer. What can I do to help my son, daughter, brother, sister Comeback? The Key of your EPA is the small little baby steps. Remember you may have years of environmental damage and it won’t be fixed overnight, slowly but surely is the key. Take that EPA and put it on your Computer, place it in your Diary, on your Notes App of your Iphone and every single day make an appointment for action of an activity that will launch your Comeback on its way. I have a niece in China, her name is April she is sensational, gorgeous and smart. She can quote Confucius, she loves life has a great job, a figure to die for. I am so proud and love her a lot, but she wasn’t always that way. When I first went to China they introduced me to April, and there she was sitting in a dark corner surrounded by dead

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packets of Chips, Chocolate Wrappers and empty cans of Red Bull. She was sitting with her headset on and eyes glued to the Computer, with MySpace and QQ opened up all over the screen carrying on various conversations with other people who were most likely surrounded by the same condiments! She was dressed in track suit pants, thick glasses and I’m telling you she was a big girl, quite overweight. I asked her mum if she ever ventured into the light! The answer was she is like this from Sunrise to sunset then she sleeps and does it all over again, she doesn’t eat with the family, doesn’t talk to the family, so who’s her family? Well it’s the network on MySpace and the Chinese Chat forum QQ (Sounding familiar??) They asked me to take April up as a challenge and get her off her bum and into the world of family and reality. Wow tough assignment, but I was keen to see what sort of motivation miracle we could perform. I spent early days trying to communicate with April, tried talking about life, music even Confucius but all I got was a series of nods and Ah Ha and then silence as another screen friend on QQ became online. Then one day I asked the big question, April, how come you don’t go out and see friends? She looked at me, dropped the large glasses to the bridge of her nose and just said “Because I’m fat and Ugly, and when I’m on the PC nobody can see that” I zeroed in on this point and asked why she felt that way and she told me that her school years were most remembered for being told daily exactly that, “You’re Fat and Ugly” (also sound familiar).

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OK no better time than the present I thought and asked April how she would feel if I had a magic wand and could change all that? She laughed and I thought wow progress, and then she cried and asked me could I really do it? I told April that if she did what I said, stuck to the plan we would make together I guarantee she would look and feel sensational, in fact I wanted her to get on the PC and find a Picture of somebody she wanted to really look like, someone that she admired the body and the look. Without as much as a blink she got on the PC typed in the following name, Monica Belluci the famous Italian actress with the hourglass figure. Wow I was impressed as Ms. Belluci has a body that I and millions of others had often admired! So I said Ok, April I will see you at 6am in the morning, please dress in you tracksuit, and wear runners and bring a towel and water, she agreed. Six Oâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;clock arrived and no April, she lived in the same house so I called out her name and no answer. I thought Do IT. I went into her room, and turned on all the lights and started banging a pot and dragged her out of bed. Luckily she was wearing the track pants and top from the Night before so we got straight into action. We lived in an apartment building in the middle of the city, typical Chinese Apartment anything under ten floors doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t need a lift and we were on the third floor. I opened the door and told April to run from the bottom floor to the top floor and back down until I tell you to stop, she did it twice then the pulse rate was a bit high so I let her rest for two minutes, then I asked her to do it again. She

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started to argue and all I said was, “Monica” and away she went. After two more up and downs of stairs I got her inside and asked her to lay on the floor and give me twenty situps. Well the Chocolates had taken their toll and we got five. Again I yelled “Monica” and wow we got twenty. This exercise routine, daily chats, introduction to make-up and clothes went on for around three months and then when she was looking and feeling sensational I gave her a reward. We both went to the Hairdresser and she got a brand new hair style and then one of her greatest wishes was achieved, she finally got to fit into a pair of low rise jeans and her tummy didn’t fall over the top. Did she achieve the goal of looking like Monica? Well a few days later, she came running up the stairs after having lunch with her friends, she was so excited and breathing so fast. I asked her to calm down and tell me what happened, with tears rolling down her eyes she yelled at the Top of her voice, “Boys whistled at me and called me Gorgeous”. April had made it. We made a plan, we did it in small chunks, we set a target and we used a model to achieve Aprils dream, we did it. You may not want to lose weight or look like Monica Belluci, it may be a Brad Pitt six pack or it may be a plan to go out for dinner or even cook it for your partner, go window shopping, play Xbox with your kids, shoot some hoops, track down that old friend on Face book and send them a message, don’t sms a mate call them instead, ask

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people how they are and listen for the answer, go for a walk before a run, clean up your Golf Clubs ready for action, take dance lessons, join a club, have a party, plan a BBQ, talk to a stranger. Get into DOING it in small steps. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s called the Enjoyment Plan of Action, and that is the key - enjoy the baby steps, enjoy the DOING, create and Enjoy your EPA and you will be one step closer to Enjoying your Comeback.

9 Chat Seven. The Little Red Dot The funny thing about the creation of your EPA? Is that by doing it you open up a really strange phenomenon of which I call the Little Red Dot. Have you seen the action movie the Expendables? There is a scene where all these bad guys are in a warehouse and all of a sudden the lights go out and all they see are these red beams coming down from above and they end with a little red dot somewhere on their body or head. The red beam is a laser site and where it ends? Well that little red dot is the intended target and itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s so accurate that when the trigger is pulled the

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bullet from the gun that has the laser target will hit exactly where the red dot is. Well I believe we humans have the same laser targeting system and it’s activated when we create our EPA and will automatically start looking for a target. What do I mean by this? Well if you look at the highly successful book The Secret it basically said that if you truly believe in something, imagine it, it will sooner or later be yours, the Law of Attraction will take over. The book brings up one story about Car Parks and the guy would drive into a car park and imagine the car park space right beside the front door of wherever he was going to and whalah like magic it would be vacant each and every time. Well I am a supporter of The Secret but I believe that the Red Dot targeting system of life needs a little more help to be totally accurate. Those laser sights you see on a Sniper’s rifle are pretty accurate, but what makes them work so well is the technology behind them. I read a review to find out more about them and it demonstrates why they are so good. “Laser sights offer many advantages to the shooter, such as rapid target acquisition, the ability to accurately sight on a target in a low-light situation (such as self-defence in your darkened home), the ability to keep a threat in full view (with both your eyes open) while still maintaining your aim, and the definite mental edge you gain when an assailant sees that red dot dancing across his ribcage. Laser grips have all this and more”. Ok a little Ramboish huh but if we look at the little red dot of our lives the theory is

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pretty similar but the major difference is we don’t want to Kill the people we are trying to attract! So how does this red dot work, how can we make it super accurate? Well in our last chapter we looked at DOING it, taking control of our desire to have a Comeback in an area of our life and we identified the ducks we have to line up and the daily planning that we need to make happen by allocating time for the ducks to go to work. Let’s go a little deeper, and we will use my son Kyle again as the first example (He is going to want royalties I tell you). When he went through his little training session with me, one of the areas Kyle wanted badly was a Comeback in the Girlfriend department. He had a girlfriend for over two years and had broken up with her around 12 months ago; he was feeling a bit empty in the Mate department and really wanted to find another person to share his time with. Kyle is a pretty deep Fella, he is the type of guy not to jump in and out of relationships, so he would be looking for somebody that would be steady and long term. Kyle is not looking for or wanting a fly by nighter in his life; he’s not like that. So we sat down, went through all the DHL, FedEx, and Honesty session of Girlfriend Comeback, then lined up the ducks and then we went a little deeper. I asked Kyle to describe the Girl he was looking for in total detail. Height, Weight, Hair Colour, Likes, Dislikes, Personality, where she lives, does she go to school, if she doesn’t where does she work, tell me about her family it was a long exhaustive list and Kyle thought I was crazy and then I told him about

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the Red Dot theory and how that laser sight is designed to acquire its target and must be programmed or else it will just jump all over the place. He liked the idea laughed a little and then let his imagination go wild and he gave me a perfect picture of what this new gal would look, act and be like. I then got him to write it all down as part of his Comeback and then I said when you are back home get ready as she will be waiting for you. He again laughed and after spending Christmas with me he got back on the plane to Adelaide on New Year’s Eve and a Pool party that night. The next morning which was New Years day my phone rang very early and it was a super excited Kyle on the end of the Line, he yelled “Dad” the red dot worked, I found her. Two days before, Kyle had been telling me that he would never find a suitable gal in Murray Bridge as the place was too small, he told me he would not find anybody of similar interest in the town as they are far too local! He laughed when I told him about the red dot but now here he is on the phone saying how he met this girl, exactly as he had written down and she lives ten minutes from his house and she is perfect and they get along so well. I asked Kyle how long she had lived there and he said ‘All her Life”. Wow he just needed to program the Red Dot! Kyle’s story was a positive one, I know on many occasions I have programmed my red dot for the right job, a car but my favourite is when I’m looking at Relationship Comebacks or even Networking. I believe in the six degrees of separation but I tell you when you load the Red

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Dot it tends to narrow the field and the six degrees end up being one or two. The red dot is a great belief, but there is a downside. It works for great things but it also works for not so great it all depends on the programming. If you run through life with just your DHL, and no honesty session guess what? Your Laser targeting won’t be off it will still provide you with exactly what you are targeting, funny that hey? I see it and hear it all the time, the old “why do I always attract stupid people” or why do I always attract “Losers” or “Why do my ideas always crash” “Why can’t I find a nice person” Why do I attract the creeps” “Why do I have bad luck” well it may sound simple but you are getting what you’re targeting! I have a good friend of mine who is now up to marriage number four, and if you lined up all the husbands in one room you would think they were all brothers! Now each time she has met one of these new prospective partners it’s always been the same story, “he is so different than the last one” but like clockwork over a short period of time I would start to see the same pattern forming and out would come the old “Why Didn’t I meet somebody different” I have other friends who have started business venture after business venture, always with the same initial excitement and then like a DVD recording of all the others they are flat broke and it’s back to the drawing board. Friends that are all revved up to lose weight and get fit, they buy all the new Nike exercise gear, look the part and then a few weeks later they are back at the bar, head over a

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hamburger with the lot, feeling sorry for themselves that it didn’t work out yet again. The list and examples could go on and on but the facts always end up the same. They say that a sign of insanity is when you do the same thing over and over again and expect a different result. Well I don’t know about you but I think the world must be full of a lot of insane people! In reality it’s not insanity it’s all a matter of using the same old script, it’s a matter of putting the same target in your red dot and having it delivered to you in different wrapping but when you open it it’s the same old present. Back in the day! Love that saying, I had just started my training Business in Australia with grand plans in my head to be the best motivational speaker in Australia, I thought it would be easy and soon I would be making so much money I would struggle to spend it. Ha-ha it was a bit tougher than that, but it was a nice thought. I kept treading the boards, doing freebies and soon they became paybies and all was looking ok but the little marketing machine inside my head was telling me I needed exposure, this is not going to accelerate until I get some press I thought. I sat down and started to write a list of how I could get myself out there faster, and then I glanced at the back page of our daily paper The Herald Sun and it dawned upon me, FOOTBALL. If I could get a chance to be a motivational consultant or even just speak to an AFL Club that would be sure to get my face on the cover of super motivator weekly!

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I started a new sheet of paper and started to write an EPA on who, what, why, how and when. I had to find a place where I could meet people who were involved in the game, I had to show what benefit I would be for the team, I had to generate interest in why they should consider me. Could be an issue as I knew nothing about the modern game of AFL! Most importantly I had to find the how and when I could put all these pieces into place. AFL footballers are a pretty social lot and a few of them become absolute superstars of the game and some superstars of the Social Game. If I could find a place that they would be to strut their stuff I had a good chance of making an introduction, but the thought process stopped due to no idea whatsoever and at that point I drew a total blank. I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t into the bar scene any longer, and last time I looked there was no invitation to Gala openings in my letterbox, so with a sigh I put the pen down and started to work on other things but gee it seemed like a sensational idea and each day I would be driving along and thinking damn I really need to find a way to get to these places, I really need to meet somebody that can help me, the Little Red Dot was being programmed. During this time of my life I was fortunate to have a wonderful friend called Jose De Oliveira, who is now one of the most famous pub owners in Australia. Jose can buy a down and out derelict pub and in a short period of time with renovation and design by his relative the awesome Jean Pierre, new staff, the best Chefs around, he will transform that place into a guaranteed Pub of the Year. He has owned four and all of them have done it. I met Jose one

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lonely Wednesday night when he had just purchased his first hotel The Sir Robert Peel in North Melbourne, only a week before. It was a dark and dingy place that was famous for Table Top Dancing and topless waitresses at Lunchtime, but now Jose was about to transform it into something very special, sadly though the word had not gotten out yet so the only people in the place was myself and Jose. I had lost a big deal that day so made the choice to drown my sorrows, Jose was stressing at the huge investment he had made into an empty bar so we introduced ourselves and made a lifetime friendship over a bottle of Gin, a plate of lemons and a bucket of ice! Over the next few years his Sir Robert Peel Hotel won award after award and Jose was the Darling of the Social Set, each Lunch time you would see a who’s who of TV, Radio and Corporate Australia sitting back eating the best food and downing a glass or two of Grange or Pommery. The beginning of the PR plan was a few weeks back but the thought of the why, what when, how was a daily routine and driving round on one particular day the thought of popping in to see Jose flashed in my head so I did. Jose was at the Bar talking with a rather tall good looking blond headed guy, Jose yelled out his normal “Shane, my friend long time no see” he did that even after one day of not seeing him. “Let me introduce you to my friend Russell Morris, he is a famous Footballer.” Did the penny drop? Not yet. I didn’t know who Russell Morris was, I thought Russell Morris was a famous Pop Star in the sixties and was

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humming “The Real Thing” in my head (that was his big hit) but it turned out Russell was a famous footballer with Hawthorn Football Club, played many finals and was an all Australian Player. What I didn’t know was he was about to leave Hawthorn and was troubled on where to go next, a lot of clubs were making small moves to him as he was getting on a bit for an AFL footballer (28 my god) but one club was really working hard on him that being St. Kilda. They were not the best in the league, they had shown potential but always ended up as also rans by year-end. I can remember as a kid I had a second hand St Kilda jumper given to me, I hated wearing it as it was pure wool and itched but I thought he was a nice guy and wanted to chat with him. Jose told Russell that I was a great Motivational speaker and had even helped his staff. Russell then went on to explain what he was doing and the thought process he was going through, worrying about the age thing and maybe missing out on his dream to continue playing. He asked me just off the cuff what I would recommend he do with his choice of new club. All I replied was, “Never Give up on your Dreams Mate”. He smiled and then asked me what my dreams were and I shared with him my desire to be part of an AFL club sooner or later. Lunchtime was over we exchanged numbers and I wished him all the best with his dream and he did with mine. A week later, Russell signed with St Kilda and the season started and St Kilda was off with a bang. Under Coach Ken Sheldon and Peter Hudson they had recruited well and after six games were on top of the ladder. I kept

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reading about them in the papers and still gave thought to the chance of one day standing in front of a group of players giving a rousing talk and being front page news. It was a Monday morning and my phone rang, I didn’t recognise the number, answered with my normal “This is Shane Hodge speaking” and I got this is Russel Morris speaking right back - didn’t hum “the real thing” this time. I congratulated Russell on his playing year so far and said its great St Kilda is going well. He then said to me. “Hodgie, I will never forget what you said about never giving up on your dreams, I think I can help with one of yours” He told me he had mentioned my name to the coach Ken Sheldon and he said he would like to meet me, as a club they are going well this year but you never know maybe we could hook up the next year, let’s have a chat. I called Ken, we arranged to meet and it was the most awesome feeling to arrive at the Ground that on the Saturday had 45,000 people screaming and now its empty. It was a bit of a buzz to see famous players walking around and then being led into the coaches room to meet Ken and Peter Hudson who himself was a record goal scoring champion for Hawthorn Football Club. We talked, they stated the same as what Russell had told me, things are good but maybe we shall see next year what we might do. That was it, I left a little empty I must say but next year who knows. St Kilda lost the next few games. The shine was starting to fade a little. I thought that was sad and now that I had met Ken I felt a closeness to the Club I even took Luke to

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watch a game. I kept thinking of the dream and then out of the blue my phone rang and this time it was Ken Sheldon asking me would I come in for another chat. I went down to Moorabbin and we started to talk, he was a little disappointed with the way the season was going but believed it would turn around and they would be back on top. He also thought that maybe it might not be a bad idea I hang around the club, go to games so I can see how AFL works, I could go into the rooms before and after the game (Like an invitation to the Vatican I tell you) it would be a good idea for the possibility of next year doing a little more. So for the next three games I did just that, I sat in front of the Coaches box, listened to Ken scream at the players and witnessed another three losses, all was not looking too good. I had started to go and see Ken during the week prior to the Games, we would chat it was a great time. The next game was against Carlton, but St Kilda had a bye which meant a weekend off, so two weeks to prepare for that game and sitting in Kenâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s office my dream got its chance, he said Hodgie what can you do to be part of the preparation for the game against Carlton, what can you say to the players. The Red Dot of Football Club Motivator? Had activated. I wrote a program that basically took players through a mini Comeback, where they had to decide to give up what was holding them back from the peak performance of weeks before and make that commitment written and public among the team. It was simple, but very effective. St

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Kilda made it through to the First round of the finals that year, I was a small part of that I believe, but for me it was the most sensational time and I enjoyed what I learnt from it and I have wonderful memories. Did it get me on the front cover of Motivational Monthly? Flood my letterbox with invitations? Not really but it gave excellent exposure to move forward in so many areas of my business it was great, and I had the pleasure of getting involved again later the next year and had many fun times with other clubs. The red dot is that effective, it’s what you truly imagine can and will be delivered, to see any change the target must be repackaged. Do you get it? I had started its operation some five months ago with a dream, an EPA, yes it’s a combination of The Secret, Six Degrees of Separation, talent, need and desire but all of these things fuels the Red Dot. If you sit down and do a full FedEx of your desired Comeback look at all the ducks, do an honesty check do you really think you will come up with the same losing plan, person, event, opportunity that has plagued you for years? You are not born to be a loser so why plan to be one? The Red Dot, can and will be effective as long as honesty rules in your programming, however the problem with a lot of people is when it comes to making choices in relationships, opportunities they don’t want to finally face up to the fact that a party is over and want to continue to carry dead bodies on their backs for the rest of their lives. The Red Dot? A powerful phenomenon, don’t waste it on what cannot be.

10 Chat Eight. Bring out the Dead Wow catchy title for this chat huh? The Monty Python crew made some very funny movies and many the scenes have become catch cries at parties and events. One of my favourites was Monty Python and the Holy Grail and in particular the scene called “Bring Out Your Dead”. The scene for the movie shows a cart going around a village during a deadly plague picking up dead bodies, the funny part is when one guy attempts to get rid of a body that has a big problem that being it’s not dead! For a few minutes there is this conversation between the Undertaker, the guy trying to give the body away and 117

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the not yet dead body trying to convince the other two that he’s not dead, many back and forth chats between all three with the body continually saying that he’s not dead yet. In the end the undertaker takes a hammer and whacks the body on the head until it becomes a “real” dead body. A very funny scene I loved it. The question you might be asking right now is what has this Movie Scene got to do with my Comeback? Glad you asked that! That scene reminds me of the internal challenge that people go through when planning a Comeback, especially when they are going through the honesty check. The Old should I, can I, Will I? A mental to and fro on whether you need to throw out some dead bodies in your life, those dead bodies can be habits, actions but in most cases the biggest struggle we have is with relationships! You want to end it, but another part of you says no I’m not ready yet, there is still hope and then another part of you says “ I don’t believe you” and the back and forth chat goes on in your head and the internal struggle is there until finally one knocks the other on the head with a hammer and its thrown into the cart, or you drag it back out give it a quick going over with CPR and then you have the pleasure of suffering a little longer until the next cart comes along on Thursday! Or maybe you start the whole process all over again! Relationships can be a struggle and a joy, some people say we only do things in life for two reasons Pleasure or Pain, that’s the only reward we look for. I believe we do things because we have to or we want to and I know one is

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far more powerful than the other. Yes you will have a relationship because you have to and it may work but not well and it may well be full of vast amounts of pain, but if you have a relationship because you want to, well the huge bonus is the amount of pleasure that will be part of it. In the “Old days” couple’s got together in most cases a couple of standard ways. The Village Match maker or Parents choices, very rarely did a couple meet fall in love and marry by chance, so in a lot of cases relationships were formed under the contract of ‘Have” to and all prayed they would end up living happily ever after under the halo of “Want To”. As times moved on, young couples got together as a way of having a legal sexual relationship, some couple got married or got into a relationship just to escape the house or town or even country. All these relationships had the same 50-50 chance of Have to or Want to last. In the modern era, marriage is not really the only option now; couples of same sex, or any sex can enjoy each other’s Company. One night the fireworks explode and whalah they are moving in together and playing house as fast as you can blink, but again like the Arranged, or Emergency relationship that plot of “Have To’ or “Want to” comes into play. It doesn’t have to be a lovers relationship, it can be a business partnership that seemed like a good idea at the time, it can be a friendship, it can be a brother sister relationship it can be any relationship, but when planning a comeback and taking yourself through the honesty check and things are not turning up rosy and changes in the

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team might be needed? It may be the time for the “bring out your Dead” script and that’s when the internal struggle will begin and it’s not fun and we don’t like it. I know what it’s like. I have been there, so many great times together, some not, so many firsts together, so many memories, so much in the emotional bank account but lately it’s all withdrawals and no deposits, then there is the old “ better the devil you know than the one you don’t, A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush”. People start playing songs in their heads “ how can I live without you” but they are also singing “ Should I stay or should I go” and then they hum “ Hit the road jack, don’t ya come back no more no more”. It’s tough, but when the going gets tough - the tough get going. It’s time to be tough, but there should be a silver lining to all of this. In the end when you have identified in your honesty test that something has got to give and you have tried all available options relationships sometimes have to end. I know my time all over the world I have witnessed so many unhappy couples that were destroying themselves and so many around them especially their children by staying together when the only real solution was to go their separate ways. I have witnessed brilliant business partnerships totally wreak havoc on the business and employees through “Politics” and feuding between business partners. I have seen friendships turn into mass chaos, I have seen brothers and sisters launch into full on civil war and I have seen all these things as people just could not face the facts and throw out the dead.

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I have to be tough here and that means so do you, sometimes you have to draw the line. Sometimes things cannot have a Comeback so you have to face the facts, and if you really want to succeed in your Comeback a hard choice has to be made. But I mentioned there can be a silver lining to all of this. Let me share a secret with you, you may not have picked it up. I have actually been married three times. Now I know that some of you reading this book will be shocked at that statement, let me also say I have four children from two different Mothers, let me go even further and tell you that initially the divorces were the ugliest and nastiest you could imagine, but let me now proudly say that my best friends in my entire life are my ex-wives. I have close friends that were originally girlfriends over twenty-five years ago, I have business relationships that went totally sour and very ugly but are now what I class as among my closest confidants and advisors. I have relationships with my two sons that I cherish as do they and although still work in progress I am in constant contact with my daughters. Yes I have some people who once were part of my life and I part of theirs that I longer speak to and they fall into the I would cross the street opposite them category, but in most cases the hard choices I have made, the dead I have thrown out, have come back as little angels in this man’s life and I would say I am the same with them. But it wasn’t easy, I would not lie if I didn’t have my share of “Give it one More Try” with the majority of intimate relationships I have had over the years let alone the

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marriages, and as for the Business ventures? Wow I was all for going down with what could only be classed as many sinking ships, but in all honesty things in some cases went on far too long I should have bitten the bullet a lot earlier than what I did. Armed with what I have learnt over the years I am much better at facing reality than what I was when I was younger and I know and appreciate that from all sides no matter how tough it is? Sometimes tough choices on ending things are the best for all concerned. I know with my own Mother and Father, yes they were mates and they stayed together for over 56 years but we often joked to them that they hated each other. It was more of a habit than a marriage and they sometimes made it insufferable for us as kids, and I know and see it all the time - couple’s staying together for the sake of the kids. Hello the kids are screaming out for peace and harmony rather than behind the scenes anger and aggression. Business partners wonder why performance goes down, quality suffers when they are having back room brawls and I have lost count how many “family” gatherings I have gone to where it’s like a tennis match of back and forth barbs and nastiness and the occasional blows between siblings and cousins, aunties and Uncles. A Marriage, business relationships, friendships can have a use by date, it’s not a life contract and it will invigorate and revitalise you and others when you can finally come to that conclusion if it needs it. Some Comebacks, no matter how much we think we want them are not meant to happen, sometimes we have to bring out the

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dead, and your honesty check will show that. So what is the best way to deal with this? It’s part of doing it, not all the activities involved in the Honesty Check are fun to do, it’s human nature to run and play hide and seek when we have to do the tough things but that is one of the reasons we don’t pursue many Comebacks in our lives. I mean it’s a hard to thing to exercise after years of inactivity and when you wake up sore the next day its real hard to go out and get on the treadmill once again. Ending any form of relationship is something we don’t like to do and it’s at the highest level of “DONT WANT” but sometimes it just has to be done. Once you have identified in your Honesty check that this action has to be there is no holding back and you need to act, whether its a intimate relationship, a business relationship, family or friend the process is basically the same the goal is to first decide: Do you want any form of relationship with this person or persons at all after you have made your choice and are DOING it? That’s the most important question you must ask yourself as there may be no need to terminate the relationship totally it just may be at the wrong level, the relationship may be far more than what it can be, it may be too intense, it may have gone way past its use by date, it may have been changed due to circumstances. The Bring Out Ya Dead to-ing and fro-ing in your head will have a real battle with this but you must nail it down to a clear yes or no on the future, as a Comeback cannot work with Maybe.

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Once that choice has been made you need to have a plan of action on how it’s all going to happen, you have to plan for the DOING it. So let’s first look at a personal relationship how do we make a clean break? 1. Be honest Whether they end up believing you or not, being honest with whomever you’re breaking up with is the best way to go. Tell them why you need to move on and answer any questions they may throw at you as honestly as you can. Think about the times you were dumped with no reason. How did you feel? It probably frustrated you wondering why, when things appeared to be going so well, he/she decided to end it. Be fair and be honest with them. 2. Pick the right time Some poor choices include at a party or any other social gathering, in the car or doing a mundane yet domestic task together such as grocery shopping. Chances are, your soon to exit partner will be caught off guard no matter when you break the bad news, but if you do it in the frozen food section, they may have a much stronger reaction than if you do it at a café or in your neighbourhood park. There is never going to be a perfect time to break up with someone, but try to have as much control over the time as you can, rather than blurting it out over brunch with friends. 3. Do it in a public place This minimizes the chances for chaos. If you’re in a restaurant and there are people around, he/she will be

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less likely to fly off the handle and cause a scene. If you’re alone and they freak out, you might be more likely to cave and call the whole thing off. Being in a public place may give you the confidence you need to follow through. Plus, when it’s over you can just walk away, rather than trying to get them to leave your place. 4. Do it in person Do not be that person who ends a relationship electronically. Breaking up with someone via text, email or even over the phone is totally disrespectful. Even if you can’t wait to be rid of them, at least have the courage to look the person in the eye as you dump them. 5. Make sure you are absolutely ready to do it Not being totally sure of your feelings when you go to end a relationship can mess with your heart and there’s. If you’re not completely certain that it’s the right thing to do, you’ll confuse them and make him/ her feel like they still have a chance, or worse, you’ll lose them when you still have feelings for them. Be totally ready to cut the ties or risk more heartache than necessary. 6. Take the high road Chances are if they don’t see it coming, they won’t be happy with being dumped. He/she will curse at you, call you every name in the book, and make you feel like hauling off and calling them nasty names. Restrain yourself. You’re leaving anyway, so just take a deep breath, nod politely and then walk away. You won’t

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gain anything by goading them on or giving the satisfaction of knowing your upset. 7. Being Friends? If you have made the choice that this is not possible at all under any circumstances speak the truth and say so, leave no question mark at all on the future or else it will come back to haunt you on a regular basis. If you have decided that a future less intense friendship is not only possible but a great idea then set the scene for that to happen, but always have an emotional get away time, say you would like to keep in contact but let’s keep it silent for a period of time. A working Relationship is similar but has some twists. So when you’re sure the working relationship is truly over, follow these simple steps for a successful exit. 1. Don’t take it personally. We all hate rejection. And termination, spoken or unspoken, is exactly that. It’s someone telling you they don’t want to work with you anymore. You may feel resentment or bitterness, and the compulsion to react verbally or in some passiveaggressive way. 2. Make them feel good. When you sense the end has come, there are a few ways to help you ride off into the sunset looking like a hero. Many people don’t have the courage to say, “Thanks, but we won’t be needing you anymore,” so say it for them. Be sure, of course, that

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the job really is over before you say any goodbyes, but if you’re certain, say something like, “It looks like all the work is done here. I really enjoyed working with you, and I hope we get a chance to work together again soon.” The other person may feel so relieved that you did the dirty work of making it “official,” they’ll start thinking of jobs to give you in the future. If the relationship is ending on a sour note, be frank. “Sorry things didn’t turn out as expected, but I learned a lot working on this job, which I’m sure I’ll be able to apply to future jobs, and I thank you for that.” A little humility goes a long way. 3. Ask for feedback. In the corporate world they call it an “exit interview,” in which management hopes to glean morsels of gossip from outgoing employees. Management is right about one thing; people have a tendency to be honest and frank at the end of a relationship. For you, it’s a great time to ask for feedback — specific feedback. “Was there anything I could have done better?” “Any way to improve our working relationship?” “What were the highlights and low points of the process?” These questions, naturally, might not be this pointed when you ask them, but you get the idea. Get frank. 4. Say Bye Bye to everyone. If you’re working with several folks inside a company, even casually, take the time via email or phone to say thanks to each one. Do it individually, not in one of those “Hi Y’all” emails. You never know when that administrative assistant will be promoted, and you can be sure your gesture of

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a two-minute phone call will be remembered. Plus, people move on to different companies and different positions, and they take their contact files with them. Here’s your chance to jump ship with them. 5. Leave lines of communication open. “You have my number; please call if there’s anything I can do.” It sounds like a no-brainer, but think about how many business relationships you’ve had that did not end this way. This simple phrase does so much. It informs the client that you’re not harbouring bad feelings about the end of the relationship and would be happy to pick it up again. What about Friends? It’s also tough do we want to keep them? Let me help you out ask yourself do any of your friends fall into these categories? The Leech This is the friend who seems to suck the life out of you. Whether you realize exactly how they do it or not, you seem to leave feeling exhausted. These types of people tend to constantly be surrounded with some sort of drama. Life is rarely pleasant, and they have continuous problems they need to complain about. You might talk to this person about their effect on you, but you’ll soon realize these people rarely change. Friendship is about giving and taking, and if this friend is only taking, you deserve better. The One Upper When you’re sharing an experience that’s important to you, this person interrupts with a story or experience

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that’s just a little more than yours. Their stories will always be more – more pleasant, more exciting, more dreadful, or more dramatic. If your friend doesn’t know how to listen and validate you, it’s time to start questioning how much they truly care about you. Give this friend a chance, but realize that what you have to say should be equally valued. The three Brothers Lying, Cheating, or Stealing Everyone makes mistakes, but after you give this friend multiple chances, it may be time to end the friendship. A friend who constantly lies or steals from you is not showing you the respect that friends should show one another. Reconsider the value in this friendship. The Back Stabber The friend who says one thing and does something else or the friend who is nice to your face and then talks badly about you behind your back is a two-faced friend. Their actions tend to be more severe than the typical casual gossip common among friends; their actions are purposeful, hurtful, and continue regardless of your objections. The Junkie Drugs, alcohol, gambling, sex — whatever the addiction, the addict will eventually take so much from an individual that it’s just not worth being friends anymore. You can only be expected to support the addict for so long before your friend commits to making genuine positive changes. The User This person tends to always be friends with people who have something they need or like to use – a car, video

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games, a couch to sleep on, movies, food, etc. The test of this friendship is to start saying no. If the person still wants to spend time with you, then they are there for you. If you start cutting them off from your stuff and they start hanging out less – this could be a good sign they are just using you. The Abuser Friends should support, encourage, and love you. Yes, friends can challenge you to be a better person or make changes in your life, but this can be done in a loving and supportive way. The abuser tends to put you down, hurt you, and keep you down. The abusive friend will somehow convince you that you need them, despite how much they hurt you. It will be incredibly difficult to cut this friend from your life, as they will make it an effort to make your life miserable in the process. In the end, you’ll realize how much better you are without the abuser in your life. How many of those types do you have hanging around you? In the Doing It Chat, I talked about Luke and his drug addiction. His Mum was faced with not just an addict, she was confronted with Harvey Two Face, The addict, The User and the abuser as typical of the majority of addicts they seem to Morph into all the other roles along the way. Dor (Luke’s mum) was faced with most horrible of challenges to do what is needed and right, or to let it all continue and end in tragedy would surely happen. What was needed and right? - To cut the umbilical cord, between a mother and a son. If not? Surely either Son or Mother would meet a tragic end. Luke had burnt

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every support bridge he had. He used them, stole from them or in some cases abused them, and Dor was his last manipulating stand as he knew that his Mother would never turn his back on him. Dor would drive to work each day not knowing where he was or what he was doing but she did know that sooner later he would call for help, money, food a roof when all other avenues had failed, she knew that would happen and lived on a knife edge of stress through all that time. She told me on a couple of occasions it would be easier if she died as then Luke would have no options left and maybe then he could give up the addiction that was swallowing him and so many others, but one day her drive to work thought changed. Dor finally realised it was time to bring out her dead, the time was now to cut Luke free, she realised that the only way of saving Luke was to save herself. The next day Luke turned up on her doorstep and she slammed the door in his face, the cord was cut and praise God two lives were saved. Iâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;m always reminded of the importance of saving yourself each time I take a flight overseas. They give that little demonstration on what to do should the cabin lose pressure, for Mothers with infants? Put the Oxygen mask on yourself first then your child, we canâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t do much as a martyr but we try to so many times. Bringing out your Dead is a tough part of any Comeback, but in reality your choice to do so may just save lives, businesses, relationships even your health. The help list was not intended to tell you when to end friendships. Instead, use the list as a starting point for eval-

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uating questionable friendships in your life when looking at a Comeback. If your friends tend to take more than they give, don’t be afraid to confront them and have a conversation about your concerns. Friends should be able to have open communication. If things don’t start to change, consider the benefits of cutting that friend out of your life, but also look at could they be and could you be a benefit in some other form of friendship, all things we buy at the supermarket have a use by date. They don’t always end up in the rubbish sometimes they go to another place for another chance at a sale before finally falling into the rubbish dump. It can be the same with relationships, but sadly like the scene form Monty Python you won’t only have to deal with the three voices all having a fight in your head when making these choices, but I will guarantee you another party will also start to give you an Opinion …The Critics.

11 Chat Nine. The Critics. Ahhh Critics ya gotta love them but wow can they interfere. When you make the choice to take on a Comeback it can be met with two levels of support, some or none. Letâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s take a look at the entertainment Industry, plays, Music, Movies its big business and massive money is spent on productions and CD recording but with the stroke of a pen a tap at the keyboard it can all be a disaster pretty quickly. If we look at the epic movie Australia which starred Nicole Kidman and Hugh Jackman, a massive production set in outback Australia during the Second World War. It was an incredible movie it cost an estimated 140 Million dollars with an additional 100 Million spent on promotion the Movie was classed as breathtaking and bril133

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liant however the critics with an $800 dollar laptop killed a 200 Million dollar movie, the Public? Well they read the Press and stayed away from the Movies but when the Movie hit DVD sales the public gave it a chance and the movie was a huge hit with people saying it was a majestic brilliant movie. The critics? Well they almost ruined the career of some actors and the made it difficult for the investors to get money back but in the long run the critics were proved wrong. As for singers, even the great Frank Sinatra was described by one critic in the early days as a Skinny Kid with a squeaky voice! Like Frank, and the movie Australia, when you’re ready to make your Comeback in any area of your life with yourself or a relationship, get ready for the “You’re Too Old, You’re Too Young, You don’t have the experience, you don’t have the money, you don’t have the will power, you don’t have the knowledge, you don’t have the right stuff, you don’t have the equipment, you don’t have the support, you don’t you don’t you don’t”. Welcome to the Critic Speak. I think the quote “ Misery Loves Company” is the motto of the CRITIC, they have fallen into the abyss of a lost life, taking it as it is, never changing and they get all excited when they hear that somebody is trying to break away from that mould and stage a Comeback. Their little antenna ears spike up, they bring out the book of put downs and then they strike. What do you want to do that for? Didn’t you learn last time? Oh no you’re not going to try that again are you?

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Mate she stopped talking to you ages ago? Gee I know so many people have already tried that. Heck I even got it when I started writing The Comeback with several people saying, ” Don’t do that Books are written by professionals everyday, who’s going to read yours”. And then you get the other member of the Critics club, when you’re trying to have a health Comeback and control your diet or smoking maybe even drinking and their favourite line is: Go On, try it one won’t hurt you! They just want to make sure that no matter where you’re trying to make a Comeback and lift yourself out of the rut of life that you will not succeed, they want to make sure that you enjoy the company of misery with them. The question you must be asking right now is how to deal with these people? Well sadly it’s not legal to have them kidnapped and bound and gagged and even banished from our presence ha-ha. It’s also illegal to inflict any form of bodily harm so the only way to handle them? Is to deal with it. Deal with it you may be saying, easier said than done. Well it’s a fact and you just can’t use the old “Sticks and stones won’t break my bones and names will never hurt me” cry, we have to be all grown up about this and tackle it head on. They say timing is everything well when I began this chapter the stars must have been aligned as something special happened an incredible Comeback graced the screens of You Tube but it also provided a perfect example of “The Critics”. The wonderful thing about technology is the world is so small now and good news through You

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Tube, Twitter, Face book can travel so fast (but so can bad news) and the Term “Gone Viral” explains how quickly this news can travel. It becomes like a cold, one person sneezes and next thing you know the whole office has gotten the bug. This week we witnessed a sensational Video and story that went Super Viral, it was the story of a homeless guy in the US by the name of Ted Williams. He had been homeless after a real bad run of drugs and alcohol and life had not been too good for Ted, but Ted had a Gift and he used that gift to help him get small change from passers by whilst he stood on a corner of a freeway. Passing cars would stop and give change to Ted just to hear one thing; Ted had an amazing speaking voice, and Ted was known as the Homeless Golden voice. Last week one of the local TV stations stopped and asked Ted to say a few words and here was this guy with unkept hair, old clothes speaking to the Camera in dulcet tones that would be at home on national Television voiceovers. Well the Video hit You Tube and within days Ted was an Internet superstar and then he quickly became a celebrity, with offers of work all over the planet. Even the Corporate Giant Kraft hired him to be the voice of Macaroni and Cheese. In a matter of days Ted went from being a homeless nobody to the biggest Comeback as the Man with the golden voice. CNN, Today Show he has been on them all, such wonderful news isn’t it, but then came the Critics. Seems that during his homeless years and trying to survive Ted made a few mistakes, he did some small time robberies, wrote a couple of small bad checks, yes he did a

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small amount of time in jail but his efforts although bad were only minor, but the same viral way that put him on all the famous TV shows and gave him his shot at his Comeback is being used to shoot him down. The critics are whacking this guy’s past, bringing up all the bad things he did years ago to hold back the chance of him moving forward. The Critics are trying desperately to ruin a wonderful Comeback. On top of that they are saying the fame will be too much, he will break and most likely slip back into Drugs and Booze, can you believe it? Well it’s the way it is and you will find the same sort of party poopers will come out of the word work when you are striving for your comeback. Now yours may not be as fast as Ted but it’s the same thing, it’s a Comeback and it will attract critics. When Ted was questioned about his ability to overcome the Critics, his ability to take the instant fame in hand and walk a long straight line and never slip back, Ted quoted that his belief in God will keep him strong and show him the way and he will never go back to where he had come from. We are chatting about critics and I wish I could run a shame file on all the critics I have had in my life, devote a couple of pages to names but as Confucius said: Before Seeking Revenge dig two graves! Well I’m not ready to start digging in fact I don’t even own a shovel so I will behave and protect the innocent. I have a great dislike of critics of humans as they don’t realize the damage they can do escpecially when we are young.

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There was a couple of Star Critics in my youth! My first part time Job at the ripe old age of 14 was with Kentucky Fried Chicken, a kitchen hand was my title which meant I assisted the Cook (Yep they had good old pots back then) and cleaned up the place. To this day I love washing dishes because of that job. It was great and paid very well plus I got to meet all sorts of great people and some very pretty ones as well! I worked on the weekends and really enjoyed the freedom and the finance the job gave me. Now I could buy great clothes, and the latest magazines instead of begging Mum and Dad for the money. Most of all I enjoyed the rise in my own self esteem, I was believe it or not a bit of a loner at school and it was so great to be mixing with others, doing something I liked doing and I was getting good at it. Yes KFC was a major stepping stone in the life of Young Shane and setting the scene for my future. One weekday I was home from School and I got a phone call from Peter Sully the Store manager. He told me the full time guy had not turned up and would I like to help him and work today. No problem would love to, so I jumped on the Bus and went to work. The weekdays were not as busy but it seemed a little strange the atmosphere when I arrived at the store, the staff were running around like they were in some kind of panic, cleaning things they would normally not worry too much about, organizing this box that tray I wondered what was going on so I asked what all the stress was about and I got the answer, “Fred” (Won’t use his real name)is on his way”. Wow this guy must be pretty important. Well he was the area Manager

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and the mention of his name appeared to strike fear and action into people so I got busy stressing along with everybody else. He had just left the Brooklyn store he would arrive in fifteen minutes and things had better be right Peter Sully called out. Wow this guy must be really tough I thought as I was polishing already polished pots. Peter sent me outside to sweep the car park and while I was doing that a White Holden station wagon pulled into the area and out stepped the “man”. Wow talk about impressive, he had on the Maroon Jacket with a little Colonel Sanders on the Lapel, Grey Pants a White Shirt and the little Black Tie that Colonel Sanders wore in all the Pictures you now see in KFC. For a fourteen year old he looked pretty mean he even had a little goatee just like the colonel. I said Hi but he didn’t even give me a glimpse he just stared with the who are you look and walked straight inside the store. I picked up my broom and walked back in and here he was white gloving the whole place. What is white gloving? Well it was (I Think it’s banned now as no way is it 21century Correct) a way to check the total cleanliness of a KFC Store. Fred put on a white Glove and proceeded to wipe it along every knook and cranny, every bench, stove top and pot in the place and the goal was for the glove to remain white. Fred took great joy in this but I was thinking that’s a ploy he really wants to find some dirt, and he did. Wow the scene changed it went from Stress to a Horror movie pots that didn’t make the cut flying into the sink, benches

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being pointed at, people being yelled at. It was scary moment and then he had his finest moment when in between blasting the others he looked at me and said “ As for you? Your face is disgusting, get rid of those dirty pimples or don’t come back to work”. The job that had done so much for me, helped my growth, improved my self esteem, gave me a lot of joy, just got shot down in flames by a critic! It took me a long time to get over that, a few years of pretty low self esteem. I think us as adults and even children - don’t load our brain before we shoot our mouths off, the Critic can be such a demoralizer. The sad part about it is that in the old days we had the chance to face people when they were critics, now its Viral, Face Book and Twitter give critics the awesome tool of faceless nastiness. A critic can ruin your day, your year in fact your life with a few strokes of the keyboard and it’s up to you to then battle the damage that has been so easily done. How did I get over it? How do you get over it? Can you use the Old “Sticks and Stones will break my bones but names will never hurt me”? People will say pick yourself up dust yourself off and start all over again, and yes that works but sometimes it can be a bit of makeup on a pimple sooner or later the thing will burst through and look nastier. Easier said than done. To battle critics I have relied a lot on separating fact from fiction. If the critic is making a fact? Then I admit it, work on it and move on. If the critic is working on fiction?

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I look to motivation from heroes, heroes that have overcome adversity and aimed at greatness, heroes. Many people use their faith in God to keep the belief going and to strengthen their ability to overcome the critics. I am proudly among these people, but not all of the people reading this will have a faith in God, they may have faith in other areas and I am not going to judge on that being right or wrong. The key to the ability to overcome the Critics lies in your power and what gives us that power? Belief. Belief? A favourite saying of mine I don’t know if I invented it but I will take some credit is ”If you believe in Nothing? You will fall for anything” not bad huh? But it’s a fact that Belief is behind coping with and taking the energy away from the critic as they will use all their power to create an atmosphere of it cannot be done in your life, they will sow the seeds of doubt in your system unless you have total belief in your Comeback and your honesty to make it happen. How did four of my heroes feel about faith and how did they battle critics? Oh, deep in my heart, I do believe, that we shall overcome someday. Martin Luther King Jr. Hope in the face of difficulty, hope in the face of uncertainty, and the audacity of hope: In the end, that is God’s greatest gift to us, the bedrock of this nation, a belief in things not seen, and a belief that there are better days ahead. President Barack Obama

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Every time you state what you want or believe, you’re the first to hear it. It’s a message to both you and others about what you think is possible. Don’t put a ceiling on yourself. Oprah Winfrey Do not believe in anything simply because you have heard it. Do not believe in anything simply because it is spoken and rumoured by many. Do not believe in anything simply because it is found written in your religious books. Do not believe in anything merely on the authority of your teachers and elders. Do not believe in traditions because they have been handed down for many generations. But after observation and analysis, when you find that anything agrees with reason and is conducive to the good and benefit of one and all, then accept it and live up to it. Buddha I don’t know much about Buddha as I wasn’t around! But in my lifetime I can recall MLK, Barrack Obama and Oprah and the incredible things they not only but spoke but did and have done great things. All three came from very unlikely backgrounds, all three battled huge critics but their incredible belief systems have allowed them and them rewarded them with unbelievable results. So much has been written and said over the years about Martin Luther King and I won’t write more but if we just look at Obama? A skinny kid with Black and White parents, lived in three different countries before he was ten, rose to fame within the American Political system, was battered by the critics as too young, too inexperienced, and a Black man

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had never been President of the United States, yet he kept believing. He didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the financial backing but he believed and kept battling, he went all the way on Hope and Faith and in the end? He became the first black president of the United States with the greatest margin of Victory in election History. Have the critics stoped No, they just never give up but neither does Obama. Oprah? Was born into poverty in rural town to a teenage single mother and later raised in an inner-city neighbourhood. She experienced considerable hardship during her childhood, including being raped at the age of nine and becoming pregnant at 14, her son died in infancy. Sent to live with the man she calls her father, a barber in Tennessee, Winfrey landed a job in radio while still in high school and began co-anchoring the local evening news at the age of 19. Her emotional ad-lib delivery eventually got her transferred to the daytime talk show arena, and after boosting a third-rated local Chicago talk show to first place she launched her own production company and became internationally syndicated. Through all the tough times Oprah held on to her belief and whacked the critics, and now? Oprah is voted as the most powerful women in the world, she is one of the most generous to charity and One National magazine in the US stated that unless a moment of significance has Oprah in the Audience? It has no credibility. My Dad and Mum, MLK, Obama, Oprah and myself have been a great guide in my own Comebacks from Critics. They and many others have taught me that

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believing in whom you are, what you’re doing, believing in your Comeback is the major key in overcoming the critics that will try and pull you back. However belief and faith are just a couple of items you will need in your survival kit for the battlefield of a Comeback - and it is a battlefield as you yourself can be one of the critics you have to avoid. You know the times when you’re laying back in bed at night and you go through the thought process of “can I really do this”, I think of the Children’s book and TV show Thomas the Tank. Thomas is another Hero of mine and he is so popular and one of the scenes I loved was when Thomas was faced with pulling himself and a heavy load up a very very steep hill. Well Thomas huffed and Puffed looked at the hill, blew steam out of the stack on his head and started with the immortal words, “ I Think I can, I know I can” then he repeated it, I think I can, I know I can, slowly he moves forward up the hill chanting his words until he is almost at the top and he then subtracts “ I Think I can” and just screams out “I cannn”. And then Thomas gets to the top of the hill with all the other train engines cheering him. A wonderful story and that resembles our own life when we become a critic. We lay in bed or sit at the desk or stand in front of a crowd and we begin the ‘I Think I can’t” chant. If I could give you the magic wand of overcoming critics including yourself, if I could give you a one liner that would be the cure to all fear and woes, I would ask you to sit back in times of doubt, take a deep breath, then slowly start reciting, “ I think I can, I know I can” and then after a few lines finish with “I CAN”. The Critics including your-

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self are the hills of your Comeback, use the Thomas the Tank cry and you will be greeted with cheers â&#x20AC;&#x153;You Did itâ&#x20AC;? when you make it to the top.

12 Chat Ten. Bloopers I love watching movies and I just don’t like watching them once I like to watch the same movie many times, and each time I pick up a new idea. I see something in that movie that I may have missed the first time. I am always in awe of the movie making process, and when you watch the “extra’s” DVD you can see what went on behind the scenes in making the actual shoot, scenes that took only a few seconds or a minute to show in the final cut of the movie may have taken days or even weeks to actually make them happen yet when they are on screen it seems like one seamless piece of footage, no mistakes, no cut let’s do it again all perfect. The other section I 147

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like on some of these DVD’s is the bloopers. You know what I mean? When you see the actors going through the scene then something goes wrong or they forget a line then they start laughing, or a piece of the set falls over or sometimes you can see people actually walking behind the cameras and all of a sudden the director yells CUT and people have a laugh or a tantrum and then they shoot the scene again until they finally get it right. It’s just time and film (sometimes a lot of money) but they get the chance to do it again. Is life like that? Is our Comeback like that? Can we have a Bloopers DVD of our Comebacks? When all doesn’t go according to plan do we simply say, CUT let’s do it again, laugh about it then reshoot the scene? Or do we give up, pack all the camera gear away and scrap the whole movie? I sadly think that in a lot of cases people will use the scrap the whole movie idea. The pressure on themselves and the hard work of the critics makes an easier exit than getting on with, but I know that you my friend reading this does not want to be in this percentage of ‘pack ups” and I’m proud of you for that, so take a bow and pat yourself on the back and let’s talk about the bloopers. So Let me talk about me for a minute, I have mentioned lots of other people including my two sons so let’s

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have a look at the Old Boy as they call me and allow me to give you my best Blooper’s experience. It was “back in the day” say around 25 years ago when I was a young lad, had lots of wonderful curly hair, six pack ahh life was grand I was just starting out on my quest to be the world’s best Trainer and Motivator (that was my dream). I began by doing what most people told me was the right way to do it, that being I spoke anywhere and everywhere to whoever I could or to whoever would listen. In most cases I did it for free as I was told that you have to build up a following, polish your craft, learn the art of delivery all these things are like being a Doctor you can’t practise on a dead patient so standing in front of the mirror was not enough. I had to give it all in front of a live audience so that’s what I did. I spoke at Rotary Clubs, Morning sales breakfasts, Local Business Meetings anywhere as long as they allowed me to be heard and it was great fun and I thought I was learning and getting better. At one particular breakfast for a group called Sales People with a Purpose I was approached by a gentleman who owned a Real Estate agency in Essendon, he told me he liked my style and would I be interested in speaking at one of his Team Breakfast meetings and moreover he would pay me. Wow my first paid performance I was so excited, I asked him what subject he would like me to discuss; he told me how about “The Art of Overcoming Objections”. Well if you’re a salesperson reading this right now you will know it’s the subject where angels fear to tread. There is an old saying that goes along the lines of

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‘Selling starts when the customer says no, up until then you’re just an order taker”. Overcoming Objections is the toughest of subjects to cover, but I wanted the chance, and I needed the money so I said Ok with great excitement covering fear. We agreed that the next meeting held in a week would be the best time, swapped numbers and I told Mr. Real Estate it will be great see you then. On the way home I pulled into my favourite Bookstore and scanned all the sales training books I could find and settled on one titled something like “Overcoming Objections for Dummies” threw my cash down and went home to study as I had no idea on how I would train that subject for 45 minutes. The day arrived and I was excited, the book I thought had made me into a Champion at taking the word NO and turning it into YES, let’s bring me on I yelled as I jumped into the car and headed for the Breakfast. I arrived and the reality set in. Here I was, surrounded by people on average twice my age, they had been selling before I was born and they were the best in the Essendon area at selling houses. I wanted to run away at that time but I kept saying to myself I will be fine and away I started to speak which went well, at the end of my talk got applause so it must have been ok. I was asked if I didn’t mind taking questions. Lesson ONE of any speaker never take questions unless you 100% know your subject well. As for me? I had just given it my best shot from the book I read so I was pretty well all used up in the information stakes in my forty five minutes of glory, but I accepted the challenge.

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Well there I was front and centre and first question came from the extremely immaculate gentleman in the front row with success in his smile and a Mercedes in his garage. The question was all about selling houses of which I knew nothing about and I had no idea how to answer him. Second lesson in speaking if you don’t know the answer, don’t fake it, but I must have missed that lesson as I tried to fake it and I failed. Not only did I fail that question I failed the next four or five and finally the Owner had to step into to save me from total embarrassment. He then told me basically my career was over in Real Estate with the dreaded don’t call us we will call you. I ran off, dragging my briefcase behind me and got in the car and thought it was game over. I did that in a series of about three talks taking on what I didn’t really know as a subject and getting hammered into slow death each time I took on questions. I was at the stage where I was ready to give it all up, and retire from my dream and go and work for a living selling furniture or something. But then, I got a call from the first Real Estate agent, the one where I was crucified at the cross months earlier. I thought he was calling me to hand back the nails and cross that had been used on me that day but he wanted to chat about my future? I made an appointment and went to see him, we sat down and to my surprise he was asking me would I be interested in doing weekly training sessions with his junior sales People, hello?

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He told me there was nothing wrong with what I had done that day in fact all those attending thought my delivery and training was entertaining and they actually learnt some things. He told me my only mistake was thinking I knew about something I didn’t and next time admit that. He told me he thought I had a great future and he would like to support me? Wow I made all these mistakes, was upset, down and out ready to throw the towel in pack the cameras up and find a new line of work when in reality I just made a blooper DVD! I could have thrown in the towel many times along the way and I had plenty of Critics telling me I would not make it. Can you start to understand the need for looking at mistakes, things not happening as quickly as you would like, hiccups whatever you want to call them can you feel that treating them as bloopers is an exciting process. In my case my timing was out, I didn’t understand totally the subject matter, I wasn’t ready, all these points and others I may have not known were not because I wasn’t good enough, they were just bloopers and all of the things that were holding me back could be changed, trained, understood. It was not the end of my movie. Imagine running the Blooper DVD in your mind, it’s not the end of the Movie it’s the Bonus CD! My first major deal with my training Company was an opportunity to train staff of Telstra. I had developed a program that used a planner that was paper based and was so excited when I was given the opportunity to run a trial ses-

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sion that would have the Head of Training as one of the participants. Getting it right could mean a long and profitable contract with Telstra. I was excited as I had demonstrated the program using Photo Copied Planners I did that as I didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t have the cash to create a first class protoype. Now I had no choice but to create 25 versions of the real deal. I put on my best negotiating clothes, made appointments with a printer, leather folder maker, and with many smiles and pleaseeeee they agreed to help me create the 25 Originals I needed to make the deal happen. We had two weeks to get it all done and I was so excited the night before the session when all the paper and leather folders arrived and I got to put them all together. Only then did I discover a big problem. The printer had decided the paper I chose did not look so good so he changed to this really nice satin finish version rather than the plain flat paper I had asked for. The reason I chose the paper was that when you wrote on it with pencil and wanted to change something? The correction rubbed out nicely and cleanly and didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t look messy, well when you tried to do it on the shiny silky sexy paper what you got left with was nasty black smudge marks that ruined the whole paper making most of it not usable. Did I panic? You bet I did. Here I was next day going to take these planners to train all these nice Telstra people, and oh I forgot the man that controlled my future session would also be there. Not a big problem really, what a major blooper was looming. Well it was too late to change anything and I had no choice but to do it with what I had,

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did I lie? Did I just not put pencils in them and hope they all wrote perfect with no mistakes so as not to highlight the major design fault? Nope I went in next morning, introduced myself and then told the truth. I opened up with “ Gee it’s these first moments of a session when you’re the most nervous huh” Well, you think that’s bad let me tell you a story about paper”. I then turned to the Head of Training and gave him the choice of using the disaster, kicking me out or doing this on another day. He looked at me and laughed and said he was impressed with my honesty and delivery lets do it. The training was a huge success and I won a senior friend that day and went on to train many people in Telstra all over Australia. What a Blooper. Part of your Comeback in any role you choose will see and feel what others and even yourself will deem as failures. That point I can totally guarantee you, even the greatest actors of all time never get a scene of a movie the first time, they forget lines, the timing is not right. Life is the same, so don’t get too hard on yourself, have a chuckle when you review the bonus DVD in your mind. When the Belief is there they are not failures they are just Bloopers.

13 Chat Eleven. The Editing Room of Life When they shoot a Hollywood soon to be Blockbuster Movie they film hundreds of hours of footage for what ends up being a one and half hour feature film. The Editor can spend months to a year watching cutting adding until the finished product is ready for you to watch it at the Movies or at home. Hundreds of hours of Film, lots of bloopers lots of good some bad. It’s the editor’s job to watch and decide what makes it and what doesn’t. The editor has an awesome role in the success of a movie. If makes the wrong choice, cuts a scene the wrong way the movie can be a disaster or if he makes the right choice and 155

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the movie flows and is brilliant success at the Box Office will most likely be assured. The Directors choice on what will and what wonâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t stay in a movie is a tough one and after hundreds of hours of footage being shot with only one and half hours to end up with, so much would end up on the cutting room floor to be swept away by the cleaners at night. In your Comeback you are also an editor, you have to take a look at your movie of life and decide what scenes stay and what scenes go and all of this will involve, CHOICE. The Editor in making a CHOICE is faced with another dilemma that being he has to make tough decisions. In your Comeback you will be faced with the same, Choice and Tough Decisions. Are you up to it? The DHL answer is usually a quick YES, but in reality itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s not easy as choice is driven by the severity and level of the tough decisions. The tough decisions may involve disappointing others; it may involve making a clean break from a safe secure situation. Choice will in a lot of cases go the way of the safe bet decisions. The editor looking at a movie could be thinking that a scene would add so much to the beauty of a movie but could bore the people watching they could make a choice that a scene is violent and the movie would be better for it but may not escape the censors and would put the movie into a market that

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would have less people being able to watch it. The editor has tough decisions to make when looking at choice. In the previous chat I mentioned my early days of making my way as a public speaker and trainer I had to make some tough decisons, to help me in my choice. In the early days I wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t well known, it was tough to make money but I had to do as much as I can to become known and often that paid little or no money. My dream was to be a well-known and accepted trainer and speaker. I had the gift, the talent and I was getting a following and notoriety and beginning to make some money but I also had holes in my shoes and not much food on the table - it was getting tough. Yes we had started to make real inroads to success, Telstra had started to happen other Major Corporations were following, but it had been a few years in the making and debt had accumulated from year to year. My wife kept on my back as did her family, friends, bank manager all asking the same question. How can you keep trying to do this when you could work for somebody and make a lot of money? Then one day it became even tougher. I was asked by a leading Telecommunications Company to make a presentation to their CEO as there was potential to do Sales training in his organisation. They had well over two hundred sales people so if I won the deal it would be sensational income for a few months and a real break in the finances for the family. I got all ready flew to Sydney and driven by the fire and hunger in my belly made a sensational presentation. When it was over the CEO asked me to meet with him over lunch I was praying he was going to pay! We sat down at a lovely

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Hotel and after we ordered he asked me would I mind if he asked me a question, I said no problem. The question was: “Would I like to do the training for two months or would I accept an offer to be national sales manager full time with a salary of over $250,000 plus bonuses and all the usual benefits.” Now back in the day 250k was like incredible money that would put me well into the top 5% of Income earners. A tough choice - do what I love and train or take the dream job and salary? But what about the tough decisions that came along with it? Do I let myself down so my family could live the life they were used to? So I can pay the accumulated bills? And amen buy a new pair of shoes? The decision to be selfish or not? To hang on do this training and that would give me a reference to go on and begin training other large National and maybe even International Companies? To make it even harder the day after doing this meeting I was approached by Companies I had prospected for months and asked to attend meetings to discuss training events for the coming year. I sat down with my wife and the choice and decisions was made very difficult when she told me plainly “We can’t live like this Anymore”. The Shane Super Trainer Movie had huge potential, the scenes could make it or break it at the box office but some serious decision and choices had to be made and some of the movie had to make go on the cutting room floor. What happened? I gave in, even though we had this contract and the potential of more the pressure of seeing

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and living a life of struggle was far greater. My dream had gone onto the floor with other scraps of video tape it turned out a bird in the hand was far more secure than two in the bush. I started the new job, paid the bills got a brand new car moved to a bigger house but I hated the Job. I missed so much the passion of what I was once doing. I missed so much the thrill and excitement of training and speaking. Now I was earning great money, wife and kids were back in luxury, but Shane the Movie was now just a depressing soap opera of Corporate Lunches and Dinners and endless Board (Bored) meetings. Within a six month period the strain had started to show, my unhappiness was building and within another few short months after that my marriage was crumbling. Making the tough decisions and the choice to take the job had in an essence cost me my soul and passion and was affecting everything around me as my famous zest for life was not there. The marriage failed, and I quit the Job, and began another Comeback and yes I was successful at that Comeback with my ex wife and Children, heck they all stay at my house for Holidays, but I could have saved myself a lot of time, trouble and drama with some pretty sound but basic principles. It all sounds a bit tough and dramatic, but if you remember back to my quote from Al Pacino life is sometimes about Inches. When we make decisions and choices the difference in inches can create a blockbuster or a Box office flop in our lives, but the one thing we cannot walk away from is we have to make them. I was taught many

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years ago that the difference between a great leader and an ordinary one is Great Leaders make tough decisions and choice and stick to them win or lose. How many leaders, friends, husbands, wives, teammates have you know that make choices and they go wrong and they head for the hills? Or they do the same it works and they have their chest poking out looking for a medal to be pinned on? So what am I leading to? Good or bad, successful or not, blockbuster or Flop decisions and choices must be made in the movie of your life. That’s a major difference between those that have Comebacks and those that don’t even try. When you decide a Comeback is what you desire then tough times will flow and you have to face them and you have to decide and it all won’t be easy - but nothing of value is easy. I believe to this day if I would have made the “tougher” choice and stuck to my passion real concrete success was just a moment away. If I would have truly believed, had gone through my FedEx and Honesty test I would have had the ability and conviction to explain my case to all those concerned why we must keep going, why this scene needs to be in the movie and we would have had a box office smash. Now I know there will be critics huffing and sighing saying it was fate and all that, and things work out for the better, it was not meant to be etc etc. I disagree, I say that as I believe that good or bad you must make a move. Far too much of life is based around the critics huffing and puffing stance. Does it all have to be as dramatic as my own story? No, what I didn’t do is what I’m writing about now, what I didn’t do was understand the depth and

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breadth of a Comeback, I didn’t know the commitment and I didn’t know appreciate or understand that without knowing these things? I cannot convey or inspire others to follow me. What I didn’t know allowed parts of a great movie to end up on the floor. Not all the decisions and choice you will make in your Comeback will be life or death but they will be inches. How do we decide what goes on the cutting room floor? Can you take your mind back to when we discussed the FedEx of our Lives? The key result of creating our FedEx is Honesty, when we moved towards taking off the Bubble Wrap again it was honesty as a prime mover and then we finally get to our Honesty Check? Well that speaks for itself. The key to all major parts of your Comeback is Honesty, to yourself and to others, what ends up on the cutting room floor is your honest answer to more tough questions. What are the questions? Ask Yourself. ❋ Are you really committed to making the edits to your life movie that you want and need to make? ❋ What will my life movie be like if I don’t make the decisions and select the choices that I need to make? ❋ How will people feel and react if they fall to the cutting room floor? ❋ How will I speak with these people? ❋ How and when do I do the editing? ❋ What scenes will my life movie be better with this editing?

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In my case? Would I have saved my marriage if I made the decisons on the right choices? No, if I checked my FedEx it was already in trouble the situation just got far more complicated and accelerated bitterness as I was doing something I didn’t want to do and that showed in my attitude to the marriage and you will read more about this and other things shortly. What would have made things more acceptable for all people involved my wife, my children is if I would have followed the other points of the Shane Movie edit. How will people feel and react? It may not be nice at all some moments can evolve into nasty situations and other may not, but the key is understanding an appreciating that people will be effected by the decisions and choices you make. This will bring you to the next point of “How do we speak to these people?” I am a great believer that I would prefer to know than not to know. If I have made a mistake tell me. One of the biggest deceptions in our society, by the evolvement of many ‘rights” is that the spinoff is? The death of honesty. People are almost afraid to tell the truth of how they feel to each other. People in the workplace, social functions, writing are so afraid of the repercussions of telling the truth and it’s a sad thing as it has flowed downhill. Family, friends will talk behind closed doors but never upfront of open ones. Now I can understand even though I think it’s a terrible shame if you’re infront of a minority group of some description that you really have to mind your tone, and

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anything you say can have the wrath of the Legal Gods and they will be set upon you. But with somebody that you have made the choice that you don’t want them in your Life movie? I believe you have to be honest and tell them why, as if you don’t and others won’t, nothing will change. I often see the young kids of today and some adults walking out of their house in the morning, getting on a bus, even sitting waiting at the traffic lights and I wonder if they have a mirror at home or self respect as they may be wearing something that doesn’t suit them. They may have a hairstyle that’s crazy, all sorts of things but will anybody offer advice? No, what will you reply when asked “So, How do I look today”? I can guarantee you the answer will be, Yep that’s OK, you look great? I go to the local drive through of my local take away and I’m fronted with a teenager that is overweight, has pimples, that I can handle but all of a sudden I’m faced with pierced Nose, Lip, Eyebrow, tongue and get a shock. Back in the day I had to be cleanshaven, clean uniform and I can remember getting abused for pimples. The fact is? “Nobody” can tell that young person the look is not so good, they think “Everybody” is doing it, or “I’m expressing myself”. Well sometimes an elephant (a real one with a trunk) doesn’t look good in a mini skirt or leggings! Funny though in ten years or so that young kid will be older and look at photos of themselves and say “Oh My God what was I thinking”. Now before you say I have gone off on some soap-box tangent here and what has all this got to do with my Comeback, and editing my Life Movie. Well? It’s got

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everything to do with it. It’s called a Comeback, and that means you will Comeback bigger and stronger than ever before in whatever is the role you chose to work on. It’s called editing as you’re going to cut pieces out of the DVD of Your Life to make the Movie the best it can be. Well if you dont make some adjustment? There is no Comeback and Honesty will be one of those adjustments as unless you tell the truth -You will not be set free. If you are not honest, you will be playing two movies of life. One will be based on fact the other on fiction. I know this sounds pretty tough and it is and I know it will be a struggle. I wish they made patches like you can get for nicotine that can help us through the Editing of our Movie but they don’t. But I promise you this, when you’re done and you have been truthful and everyday everybody knows where they finally stand you will feel so liberated it will be as though you have just had a weight of thousands of Kilos lifted off your shoulders. My Brother Craig is a great guy, I love him dearly, we are great mates as well as Brothers. We both a have a love for fast cars, sadly he loves Fords and I love Holdens and we give each other plenty of hard times about the benefits and greatness of each brand, but I know two things- one he is wrong as Holdens are much better than Fords ha-ha. Secondly I know I love him, and only a few years ago we almost lost him. Craig was a tall, tough and very active man, rode Motorbikes, played sport, three great kids, nice house and a wife, all the trimmings you would think. Then in his

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early forties two things went horribly wrong. The first was what he thought was just a digestion problem and then believe it or not, haemorrhoids. He was wrong on both counts; Craig went to the Doctors for a Cold and came out with an appointment for a Bowel Scan. No problem he thought I’m still so young that happens to older people. A few days later he got the news we all dread “You have Cancer”. Craig, so full of life was fronted with a use by date. He immediately began an aggressive course of Chemotheraphy and sadly underwent an operation that found the cancer had spread rapidly so Craig lost the majority of his bowel. You would think that would be enough of a tragedy? Worse was yet to come, whilst trying to handle the Chemo and adjust to the loss of his bowel, Craig’s wife delivered him with the news that she was leaving him for another man. Can you believe it? I know they say no better time than the present but in this case? The timing was really bad. Craig had to battle the Cancer and the loss of the only woman he had ever loved. The tough part for Craig? Here he was, Cancer, Broken Marriage and three school age children and a Mortgage to support - what did Craig have to edit out of his Life? To make it to a Comeback of recovery? “Feeling sorry for himself”, he didn’t have the time or resources. Unlike some people suffering this terrible illness he had little if any support. Mum and Dad were in need of there own care at their age, our Sister Karen had a family to look after and as for me? I was thousands of miles away in China.

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Craig had to drive himself to the Hospital for Chemotherapy then drive himself back and then when lying in his bed suffering the ill effects of the poison they had just out through his body he had to answer the question of three hungry children, “What’s for Dinner”. Only a few weeks into the treatment did he get the chance to still take it easy? No he also had a mortgage to support so no matter what he had to drag himself to his work to make a living to pay the bills. When you ask Craig about what gave him the courage through this illness to edit the feelings that he did, he will simply say, “Cancer is not a death sentence, it’s a Challenge”. Craig made his Comeback, now years have passed and he is free and clear of the illness that took such a toll. He didn’t lose his home, his dignity or his passion for life, he has three sensational super kids that I am proud to call my family and I am proud he is my Brother. Craig’s dismissal of feeling sorry for himself can show us that editing is sometimes a feeling or emotion but if you have decided that the editing of your life movie will be a habit, a certain lifestyle, it will have the same effect. You will be jumping for joy screaming “Born Free” that’s what your movie soundtrack will be. The last question we will ask? What scenes of my life movie will be better with this editing? It’s the prime force behind the editing; clearly imagine the massive changes that will be as a result of your honest editing. I know of so many people through my lifetime that have edited bad scenes of relationships, hangers on, users,

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drug habits, drinking habits, obesity, anorexia, gambling addictions, dishonesty, bad experiences, and memories and lived a life that was truly a magnificent enjoyable Comeback. Is this Honesty, toughness in line with Love? Let’s be clear that I am not saying when it comes to a relationship that you should scrap the entire movie and banish the person out of your life. What I’m saying is EDIT the relationship. Yes maybe the scene will never fit in your movie and you have to part company, but what I have found over the years of developing people is that an edit is usually the key to most successful Comebacks. But editing requires action and tough love is part of that. Do I mean you use the old “this gunna hurt me more than you” that some of our parents were famous for. No what I mean is that to sit down face to face with wives, husbands, boyfriends, girlfriends, sons, daughters, friends, bosses even yourself and discuss the edits you’re looking for requires that you use some tough Love. Why is it called tough? As the people you’re going to talk may not want to hear and you may not want to say it and that is tough. Let’s look at China as great example, an incredible success story over the past thirty years. Growth, success, many people have been made rich and famous. It’s been a huge success, but China has some issues - not the Country but its people. The one child policy although a needed thing has also caused some issues. For many Chinese Families and for Chinese Relationships some tough editing is yearned for.

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The economic success has in some cases created a real attitude of the Gordon Gecko â&#x20AC;&#x153;Greed is Goodâ&#x20AC;? among the business world and with Corruption and massive problem the Gecko Creed has filtered through the ranks of Public service. The one child policy has in many cases created a dynasty of young emperors and empresses who believe that hard work is not needed and all that is available should be theirs without question and should be supplied by their families. A generation of rude and potentially lazy Children has arrived. In the case of Greed and the Dynasty, tough love may be the only way to rectify a huge problem. Tough love with those that follow the system of greed, not just throwing them in jail but implementing a system of education that has as part of its content, Visions, Values, Relationship and the importance of not just looking after ourselves but looking after others. For the parents of these young Chinese royalties, tough love means that the parents have to learn to say no. The parents have to learn, not only to love, to share, to enjoy, but teach the children the same, teach the children that it is better to earn and appreciate rather than to demand and destroy. Sometimes it takes a true tragedy to wake us all up to what tough love is all about. After the dreadful Tucson shooting in the USA where six people lost their lives including a nine year old girl, president Obama gave an incredible speech that goes a long way to finding a solution to why we need tough love, why we need to edit the Movie of our lives.

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We recognize our own mortality, and are reminded that in the fleeting time we have on this earth, what matters is not wealth, or status, or power, or fame - but rather, how well we have loved, and what small part we have played in bettering the lives of others. Barack Obama Tucson Shooting Memorial. In China President Hu JinTao, understanding the difficulties massive development has created is striving to create a China that is harmonious and outlines the following as guidelines referred to as Ba Rong ba Chi for China’s Goal. ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋

Love the country; do it no harm. Serve the people; never betray them. Follow science; discard ignorance. Be diligent; not indolent. Be united; help each other; make no gains at others’ expense. ❋ Be honest and trustworthy; do not sacrifice ethics for profit. ❋ Be disciplined and law-abiding; not chaotic and lawless. ❋ Live plainly, work hard; do not wallow in luxuries and pleasures. But what didn’t he say? What would be one of the greatest Tough Love choices in China today? Face. Why? It covers the truth.

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If the old custom of face could be edited, or at least adjusted out of the average person’s life in China? The place would be even far more incredible and advanced than it is. Let me chat about Rachel, she is twenty one, I first met her in China when she was only sixteen years old. A wonderful, beautiful girl, now a woman and I love her so much. I had been asked by her mother to teach her English and she is the ultimate success story of any person I have taught. When you talk to her now you would swear she is Australian, she even has G’day down perfect! Rachel had a pretty tough life, her dad died when she was very young so she was raised by a single parent. As I got to know her more her Mum even suggested I adopt her, but she was over sixteen so that was impossible. Rachel had a dream like most Chinese students and that was to attend University in Australia and I promised I would try and make that happen. Rachel and I are not related by blood so the task of trying to sponsor her due to the super tough Immigration policy in Australia was a hard one (She should have taken a boat it would be easier). We applied two times over two years and got knocked back each time, each time our hopes up but dropped down with the dreaded “Declined” email from the Government. Rachel remained positive, never giving up, she kept studying hard but the pressure from family on “When are You Leaving” was starting to intensify. We applied one more time, this time it looked a good chance, we were asked to have her Medical examination

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done in China and that is usually a sign the Australian Visa will be approved. I told Rachel, it’s not over yet and she remained calm but positive, however her Mum jumped the gun and informed all family and friends that Rachel’s visa was approved and she will be going to Australia to study. The pressure from family and friends was now so tough, each day the same question “When are you Going” and then tragedy, we received the dreaded “Declined” email. I didn’t give up on the quest, I started to apply to other places, I wanted to make sure she would get an overseas education somehow, and sent off an application to Malaysia which had a satellite campus of Australia Monash University. Now if this was a Western culture? There would be disappointment, the majority of families? Would give her a hug and say ok what’s plan B. But Face? Made that almost impossible. Rachel’s Mum wanted to try a plan B, but because of Face? She could not inform the family that Rachel’s application had failed again. With a days notice, Rachel had to pack her bags, go to the airport with a send off and act as though she was going to Australia when in fact she was being “hidden” in Kuming, another province by her Mum, all this so as not to lose face with the family. Rachel arrived in Kunming, totally alone, no friends or family, she had to live in a small house with zero support, she was not able to speak to her cousins, and aunties even grandparents just so as to keep up the face her Mum had created to save Face.

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The weeks went by, the loneliness continued, I tried as hard as I could to lift her up with daily phone calls and SMS, but I felt like I was fighting a losing battle. Rachel, failed to answer my calls for a few days, and I was so worried. I was in China at the time so I decided to jump on the first plane I could and go and help her, I used my limited Mandarin skill to get her address off her Mum without trying to alarm her and the same tactic was used when I hailed a cab form Kunming Airport. I knocked on the door of the place Rachel was staying and the Beautiful happy Girl I had seen only a year before did not answer it. This shadow standing before me was skinny and unhealthy; the once beautiful hair was messy and unkempt. The positive, exciting Rachel had basically disappeared and been replaced by a depressed girl I did not recognise and she now didnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t care anymore. Could we tell her mother? Her family? Call them to come and support her? NO, face would not allow it. I stayed with her a few days, got her eating and laughing again, but I would soon have to go and I feared what would happen when I did. Then great news arrived, Rachel had been accepted to study at Monash University campus in Malaysia. It wasnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t Australia but it was the same curriculum, we both hugged each other and I said, and she agreed it would all be ok. She is now studying happy and so healthy in Kuala Lumpur, miracles do happen. The Value of Face had almost claimed a victim and sadly in China and other Asian countries not all are as lucky. The pressure on people to live up to face is a

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common destroyer of not only people but families and friends. Do we have Face in Australia? I believe we do, I believe we often hide the truth so as not to upset or embarrass, to keep the mode of “peace” rather than progress, face or values like that have no place in our Comeback. The story I just gave you could be the same in any country in the world, pressure from peer groups, family could result in a tragedy. If we take a good look at the world we live in and its major problems, it’s not just the value that’s the problem, it is far deeper than that. In the majority of cases it’s the editing by bad producers that’s created a lot of the issues. Sadly the edits are not created by the majority; they are forced upon us by the minority. Freedom of Speech, the ability to say what is right and wrong, value driven parenting, sorting problems out without lawyers, innocent before being proved guilty, Privacy, have all been edited out by Land Rights, Human Rights, Minority Rights, Trial By Media, Litigation, and the Social Networking sites and the advancement of Portable digital Cameras! The editors of Life decide what’s cool to wear and drive. Every single day the editors bombard our children. What phone you should have, PC games you should play, way you should speak and think, what’s cool and what’s not. Music and rap stars, sportspeople’s lifestyles all edit the lives of our children not in a Magazine article that came out once a month as before, but a second by second

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edit from the Internet Wireless waves that float above their heads. But I believe we can begin to climb back and have a Comeback in all these areas that have been edited out of our lives. We need to add the scenes and content of true life values, roll the feature film of your life in your head and get to work and create a directorâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s cut version Comeback that the world and you will be queuing up to see.

14 Chat Twelve. TelePrompTer WHAT IS LIFE? Life is an Adventure … Dare it Life is a Beauty … Praise it Life is a Challenge … Meet it Life is a Duty … Perform it Life is a Love … Enjoy it Life is a Tragedy … Face it Life is a Struggle … Fight it Life is a Promise … Fulfil it Life is a Game … Play it Life is a Gift … Accept it Life is a Journey … Complete it Life is a Mystery … Unfold it Life is a Goal … Achieve it Life is an Opportunity … Take it 175

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Life is a Puzzle … Solve it Life is a Song … Sing it Life is a Sorrow … Overcome it Life is a Spirit … Realize it. Anon Such an awesome quote and they don’t even know who wrote it, I suppose the cheeky side of me could claim it was mine but Honesty is the best policy so we will just leave it that somebody with no name wrote something brilliant. You will notice that in all the statements there is not one mention of the word “Try” or “Attempt” and most of all “Practice”. Comebacks can be like jumping out of an airplane on your first parachute jump, have you tried that? To me it was the scariest experience. Here you are 15000 feet above the earth with nothing to stop you should something go wrong but solid ground, and there is no second chance if something does go wrong its basically game over, but statistically you have a better chance of being eaten by a Lion than losing your life parachuting so its good odds of survival! But you’re in the plane and there is only two options, you jump or you don’t, and when you jump you’re in boots and all, no choice. Comebacks are like parachuting, once you decide there is no turning back wow how exciting is that? Parachutes have no exit! Practice is important though, they just don’t throw you out of the plane and hope you find the ripcord and pull it in time to release the parachute. You practise for many hours yelling out one thousand two thousand three thousand then pulling the cord and pretend the Parachute opens. You practise jumping off a chair and rolling prop-

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erly so as to simulate what happens when you finally hit the ground in real time so as not to break your ankles or legs. Many hours of practise to then be up in the plane and even your first jump you’re strapped to another person so you get the feel of it before you do your own. I don’t know if that’s good or bad as the jump is another person’s choice not yours, but after getting over that your turn comes when you make the choice - in or out. With your Comeback you have chapters of practise, you get to create you DHL, FedEx, you get to think about when you’re ready to take off the bubble wrap, you can go over your bloopers in life, understand life is all about Doing It, we look at critics and how we can handle them by believing in our Comeback and you can then edit your life Movie to decide what’s in or on the cutting room floor. All these “practice” items being done and your Comeback plan in place it’s time to Jump or not, and like parachuting? There is no rehearsal. Being ready to dare it, praise it, meet it, perform it, enjoy it, face it, fight it, fulfil it, Play it, accept it, Complete it, Unfold it, Achieve it, take it, Solve it, Overcome it then realise it is as I written many times tough. So as John F Kennedy’s father said, “When the Going gets Tough, the tough get going”. But how many turn the other way? How many get a touch of “Stage Fright” “Will You? Many people trying parachuting for the first time go through all the training get up in the plane look down and turn the other way as the view and fear overwhelm them. You may be the same, you may go through all the exercises

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in the book, you may get to the point of opening the door to your Comeback and get stage fright and can’t go on any longer. You’re human don’t be alarmed it happens. Stage Fright is a common experience, nerves are a normal part of life, but instead of calling you a wimp or accusing you of all sorts of cowardly acts allow me to let you into a little secret, in my opinion nerves and stage fright are signs of oncoming greatness! Even one of the greatest actors of all time Sir Laurence Olivier used to get so nervous before a performance they needed to have a bucket beside him as he would always be throwing up as he was that nervous. Nicolas Cage, Johnny Depp, even Oprah all suffer from nerves before a performance, yes they suffer but it doesn’t stop them they get on with the show, and your Comeback is the same. The actors we mentioned suffer from stage fright but a key to helping them go on is they follow the script. It maybe a written one or it may be a teleprompter in front of them that makes them look as though they are speaking all of what they are from memory, it doesn’t matter how, but the script is something they know if they follow they will be well on their way to controlling the nerves. Once they jump out on stage or in front of the Camera it’s look at the script and its game on. We have come a long way together so far in this book, and I know there still may be a Comeback you’re searching for but haven’t quite gotten hold of it yet. If we go back to the start of this chapter, we looked at the

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famous quote ‘What is Life” I put that there just for a reason. Why you might ask? Well glad you asked as this is the reason. Living within that quote is a vast amount of stimulus. Lying within that quote is a trigger for one or more of the Comebacks you seek, and you just need a little help from the teleprompter of “What is Life” to get you over the potential of stage fright and right into the script. I’m not going to cover every part of “What is life”. WHAT IS LIFE? Life is an Adventure … Dare it Is your Comeback dream to have adventure again? As we grow a little older the part of our brain that puts survival top of the list seems to get a little stronger, the younger we are the smaller this part of our brain appears to be. “Back in the day” you may have had an incredible sense of adventure, thrown your spirit to the wind and taken off on some crazy weird journey. I can remember years ago waking up at some crazy hour listening to the radio and got the weather report that there had been a huge dump of snow on the mountains. Back then I was a keen skier and the thought of fresh powder snow was too much and at 2am in the morning, I packed all my gear into my little Volkswagen and hi ho off the snowfields I went. Later in life I would be thinking so many reasons not to go, it’s cold, its dark, maybe I should go when its light, stay, wow I might get injured and not be able to work and sooner than later the ‘Adventure” would be gone and I would be safely back in my little bed,

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keeping warm. What about the adventure of Travel? When we are younger it’s all about the adventure. We would no problem backpack to strange parts of the planet, eat really weird stuff, totally rough it with the locals. When we get older our Idea of adventure maybe the Buffet at some five star hotel! What a Comeback idea? Adventure? Throw a little caution to the wind and feel that rush of the unknown, it could be a holiday it could be to try new foods, it could be many things but the one thing it will be is a Comeback Adventure. Life is a Beauty … Praise it When I came back to Australia after so many years overseas, a couple of things that happened reminded of how much I had missed the beauty of everyday simple things. I can remember going to visit my friends shortly after getting out of the airport; I went outside to their yard which had the most wonderful lush green grass. I took off my shoes and just walked around feeling the grass between my toes, it was the most beautiful feeling as I had not walked in grass for over twelve years and it took my mind back to when I was a child. God it was beautiful. I can remember going to my friends Jose’s restaurant and he poured me a glass of the most wonderful red wine and arranged a cheese platter. I smelled the wine for what seemed like such a long time, I placed the cheese to my nose, I then savoured every drop of the first mouthful of wine and the first bite of the cheese. So beautiful was the wine and cheese as it was the first of both in so long. Beauty was not only in the joy of feeling the grass, drinking awesome wine and superb cheese for the first

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time in so long. Beauty was praised in so many areas close to my heart. Hugging my Mother, holding my children seeing how they had now become fine adults as the last time I saw them they were still just children, looking into their eyes and telling them how wonderful they look, praising them for what they have become. Is your Comeback to realise Beauty again? To praise it? Is your Comeback to have your relationships back and better than they have ever been? Take a look at your partner as they sleep, walk into your kids rooms as they dream, realise the beauty and when they wake? Hold them and tell them how beautiful they are. In all Comebacks realise what beauty life, people and places possess and praise it. Life is a Challenge … Meet it Is your Comeback a Physical one? To lose weight, get fit? Is your Comeback to paint again, take pictures again? Is your Comeback to act to sing, to play the piano? Play golf again? Will your Comeback take time and effort a little pain and suffering? All of these Comebacks and many more will be challenging, but meet the challenge, don’t hold back. Be driven by the goal and allow that drive to create the passion to meet the Comeback head on and achieve what you really want. I chatted about my “Dinner Speech” with my daughter Miranda. I chatted about Luke and Kyle and I believe that even though they are my children, that you will be able to relate to the chat, or you know others that will. But you may have been thinking, where is the chat that involves my other daughter Samara? Well I saved that chat for this point, CHALLENGE. Wow what a challenge Samara is.

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Why? She is so much like her father. Samara is afraid of nobody, speaks her mind and is so tough, and boy can she sing. However on the inside, she has a heart so big and love in abundance. So why does Samara get a chat at this point? Well every time we met in the early days of my Comeback as a fathe, each moment with Samara was a challenge. Kyle would most of the time try not to ruffle feathers and Miranda was distant, whereas Samara would challenge me at every moment. I was called everything from a loser to a piece of shit. I was confronted with the total attitude of “Don’t think you’re getting off easy” every chance she could get. Our initial times together would always start off the same easy-going way, but within a short period of time the fuse would be lit. Samara would let fly, I would retaliate and it would be on. In the end? Both would be in tears and angry, phone calls wouldn’t happen, emails would be less, and then she would delete me off face book! (This is the new form of door slamming on friendship huh so funny). The challenge? To realise that it didn’t matter what Samara thinks of me. Can you remember the DHL I mentioned at the start of The Comeback? I believed that, “I am your Father and you will respect me”. Every single fight I had with Samara was because of that DHL. All Samara wanted was love from her father, but my insistence on getting respect got in the way. Now? We are close, she shares so much with me. My relationship with Samara was a challenge and instead of avoiding it with the DHL, I met it arm in arm with Love. Life is a Duty … Perform it

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Confucius said. “Do what you love and you will never work a day in your life”. You know I have a duty to clean my house and I love doing it, I dance around to hip hop music, I vacuum to Mozart and pretend I’m Pavarotti, I have complete joy in cleaning my house. I have created an attitude of WANT TO when I’m scrubbing away at my dirty pots, I have made a Comeback as a Cook and wow do I love it, all my duties are now Command Performances. Do you have Duties in your life that were once enjoyable but have now become a chore? Is your Comeback to find joy in even the mundane things in life? Make your Comeback to become an attitude that all things even the boring ones give you Joy. Make each one a Royal Command Performance. Life is a Love … Enjoy it Is your Comeback to find love or rekindle it? Tom Jones Sang a song called “Without Love”, the chorus has great words. “Without Love I had nothing, without Love I had nothing at all, I had conquered the world but what then did I have? Without love I had nothing at all”. Love is a many splendoured thing (another song) and wow we should enjoy it. Is your Comeback to rekindle that Love, that feeling of Joy? Is your Comeback to find Love again? The key to either Comeback? Enjoy it. In China where I have spent so much time Love is a huge issue, not love of the country, the economy but Finding Love. It has become a major growth industry; dating sites have over one hundred million members with an estimated ten thousand a day signing. Compare that to e-har-

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mony which has 20 Million members world wide. The interesting statistics of these sites in China? 85% of members are Professionals, living in major Cities with Great Jobs, high end incomes and have education that in most cases includes MBA’s. But? Without Love? (Imagine singing in the background) all that fame and fortune means what? When you sit in most cafes, attend a dinner after a meeting and have a chat, so many people in China are without the joy of love, so many have a partner and also feel no joy. The success train in China seems to have taken off with passengers full to the brim hanging out the doors but the suitcases containing love and joy of significant others ended up in the lost baggage department at the station! Love and the joy it brings is not confined to the significant other Comeback category (why can’t we say husband, wife, boyfriend, girlfriend anymore Ha-ha). Love and the joy it brings Comebacks can involve Friends, family, Children even pets. Think about the last time you took your dog for a walk or threw a ball? I know I’m old school but we seem to think in this day and age of technology that Face book has become the medium of meaningful contact with those we love or want to love. I have no problem with Face book it has allowed many an old friend (and foes) to find me. What I do have a problem with is why can’t we just call people up? I remember years ago when International Dialing (IDD) and Subscriber Trunk Dialing (STD) became the new thing. No longer did we have to go through an operator to make a long distance call and Telstra ran these great

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advertisements that showed an old couple in Italy getting a call from their long lost son in Melbourne, or they showed a Guy working out in the middle of the country getting a call from his Brother. They were so emotional. You don’t get the same emotion when it’s a single line on face book, and I can still remember the excitement I used to get when I received a hand written letter, wow. I know they are called social networking sites but I still truly believe that it’s so nice just to get a call to say hi. So give it a try make that part of your Comeback plan. Comebacks with our Kids? What love and joy that will bring, I know it’s a techno age, I know this generation gets into Online Games, and Chatting with friends but I also know that when I go to visit my brother his son will drop the Video console immediately when I say ‘you want to fight?” He loves to pretend we are involved in WWF and Smack down, and if I say lets play shoot em up he will run in grab the two toy guns and we will be running around the house yelling and laughing as he shoots me with foam bullets. Seems to me I used to enjoy the same thing back in the day. Not much has changed, our children still love our attention, our children still love when we acknowledge them, our Children still want to feel and know our love. You can talk about technology as much as you want but as part of your Comeback relationship with kids? Give it a shot, don’t take any notice about what you think is normal, ask them to spend time with you, talk to you, feel the joy of loving your children.

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It’s the same with friends’ and other family members, give them a call, have a family BBQ, and try something just COMMUNICATE, the joy is well worth it. Life is a Tragedy … Face it Is your Comeback to finally bury something and move on? There are times when we think it’s all over, there are times when you have been hurt, there are times of tragedy, and is your Comeback to finally face off a tragedy? Is your Comeback to bury an old wound, some bitterness; is the Comeback to finally face the loss of a loved one? I know after the death of my Mum it was so hard, I was so lost emotionally and not a moment has gone by where I didn’t think of her, but it was crippling me. I could not watch The Cricket, Football, even eat Pizza as all those things reminded me so much of the last few months we spent together. I made a choice that as part of one Comeback I would face the tragedy. I decided to do the thing I had not done in a year, to visit Mum and Dad’s grave. I decided the day, I took my son with me for support and off we went. I had always said that to me a cemetery is not the final resting place, to me the final place is in my heart but I needed to have a closure of grief and to continue to love but to move on. I won’t lie I was ok until I finally saw that space I had not seen for twelve months and then I saw My Mum and Dad’s name on a Brass plaque and I just fell on the ground in tears. I talked to my Mummy and Daddy for around an hour, told them what I have done and am doing, told them how much I missed them both, told mum about the cricket and then I buried some jewellery I had bought them both. When I felt I had finished, I told

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them I loved them but I have to let go now, I will pray for them, everyday, but now is the time to move on. I then stood up and hugged my son. I now watch Cricket, and I have a picture of Mum and I point that in the direction of the TV and when something exciting happens I joke to my Mums picture about the event. My Comeback on that grief has ended and I am happy and I know my Mum and Dad up in heaven feel the same. But it’s not just a death in the family that can be the cause of tragedy, it can be an ugly divorce, a breakup with a partner, it can be a failed business it can many things but all of them can be a tragedy that holds us back, swallows our life, a huge anchor that keeps us close to the shore rather than riding the excitement of the Ocean waves. WE have to face it and this may be a Comeback you’re looking for, to look the Tragedy in the eye and say it’s time for you to leave. It’s time for you to say goodbye and move on to whatever it is that won’t let you. You will see that my children do not have my surname, a choice they made back in the day, a terrible tragedy to me, but it was my fault, hurt before, I live with it now. A great Comeback is finally facing up and letting go. Life is a Struggle … Fight it Addiction of any sort is a huge struggle, we read about Drugs every day, we see it on our streets. In my own case with my son we had to fight it, and most importantly so did he and thank god his Comeback from addiction has been incredible. Drugs are not the only addiction - there are many, alcohol, gambling and pages and pages have been written on those and I’m not going to write anymore.

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What I’m going to write about is some strange but very damaging Struggles you may have and want a Comeback Plan to get out of them, to fight them. The addictions, the struggles that I believe do as much damage as drugs and alcohol? The addiction of Anger, Nastiness, Bitterness, Gossip, I believe these Struggles cause as much destruction to friends and families and Companies as what the most dominant ones do. I read about it every day, the damage another human being can do to another with a keystroke. Yes face book can be a vehicle of mass destruction to human nature; people saying things about others, bullying, threatening abusing. Out of the realm of the laptop it can be the classroom, it can be the coffee room or office, it can even be the bedroom where that ugly addition of bringing another person down with words is at play. These areas can be as bad as a bar, or a backstreet where the other addicts fight and struggle. Maybe you have some of those things lurking around your head, maybe you say and do things that are none of your business, maybe occasionally you write or say a nasty thing or drop a bad comment. As my dad always said “If you don’t have anything good to say? Shut Up”. I was once a victim of a Character assassination by a man who was my closest friend. He was bitter about anything that did not go to his liking and one day a business deal did not happen the way he liked and he blamed me. What proceeded was a war of nasty words, never to my face but to any of my friends or associates that would

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listen to him. This man’s addiction to bitterness put him in a position of no idea of reasoning. He wasn’t satisfied with just talking to a few he decided he would be bitter en masse and one terrible day, I started to get phone calls from people asking if it was true. I said what? I was then told that this man had used an email I sent him and others, that email was one of those you copy to all your friends telling them something funny or sharing a story. In the body of that email were literally hundreds of emails addresses, people I had known for years, family friends, Business associated literally a hundred plus people. The man copied all those email address and sent them an email slandering me and accusing me of everything except the Kennedy assassination! It was the most disgusting of emails yet he didn’t send it to me, I found out by friends calling me. The subject matter he used had no truth, it was all lies but it achieved what he wanted. A couple of people that got the email decided against going ahead with a deal we were working on and that choice made it very tough for me for a few years. The man had achieved his goal and bitterness was his Motivation. Can you understand my point? Addiction to nastiness, anything that gives you joy at destroying or annoying? Maybe it’s time to make that a Comeback plan, to give it up, to be strong, fight it and replace with Compliments and Joy. There are ten more points in the Life is a gift teleprompter, I’m not going to go through them all, except one last one Life is a Gift … Accept it

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Wow what a Comeback to focus on, the gift of Life. Can you imagine for a moment, it’s your birthday and you have a party and all your family and friends arrive, they are carrying food and wine and lots of Gifts for the birthday person? Big boxes, small boxes all wrapped up and placed on a table. So excited you just can’t wait to open them, music is playing, people are happy it’s a great time. One by one you open the presents, keys to a new luxury House thank you, a new private jet thank you, a new Ferrari wow awesome, a new speed boat, a new Harley Davidson motorbike, a new Gucci handbag. The presents are sensational but there are also some pretty boring presents like a toaster, frypan, set of steak knives, a little disappointed with the dull and boring gifts but as for the others? You are so excited all you ever dreamed of and wanted is right there in front of you and then all of a sudden, the Music stops, people go quiet, they put down their food and drinks and without saying a word they walk out and take their presents with them, the Ferrari drives off in the distance, as does the Boat and the keys to that new house are taken from the table and placed in the Gucci bag. All that is left are the boring old toaster, steak knives and a frypan. Sad. Well the funny thing is we have a life that offers all the most wonderful gifts of far great value and potential that what we possibly imagine, but we tend to sometimes reject those and take hold and gratefully accept a Frypan and toaster Life! Is your Comeback to get rid of the Toaster and take the Jet? I’m not talking about a life of the rich and famous

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here, although let me be clear I totally want to have all those toys I imagined and I support you in that thinking as well, but what I really want to focus on is that I believe that money is a by product. No matter what anybody tells me, I don’t believe that money buys happiness I have witnessed far too many sad rich people. I have also seen the same in poor, if you’re miserable you can win the lottery and tomorrow it won’t change anything, if your miserable? You will just be miserable with a lot of money to buy more of the same unless you can take hold of Life is a Gift and accept that. If you look at Dynasties of old money it’s usually a three-generation thing. The first generation works hard, have strong family values, stable relationships, usually had a belief in God. They respected themselves and what they worked hard for, would spend wisely and most of the time focus on building the business that created wealth and made it stronger. The Second generation, sometimes made the business even larger, however they normally started to ‘Show Off” a little more, built bigger houses, drove nicer cars and had more expensive holidays in the snow or on a beach. You can start to see divorces creeping in and their siblings getting into the occasional a little bit of trouble, family values although strong are starting to fray a little around the edges. The Third Generation? Spends more than is earned, the business is most likely in trouble, their Children are fully into the International Party scene and have been seen on face book in raunchy Videos. Parents are into second

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or third marriage, a fulltime therapist advises all and they have a bunch of dogs that eat better food than most and wear bling. Finally there accountant advises them to take the offer of the Multinational Corporation and sell out so they can at least live a “Comfortable” life in the Bahamas! Lying on the Beach, bored and depressed sipping on a Pineapple Daiquiri, they read this Book they bought at the Airport. The book sounds interesting and they read on until they get to the Chat of the Teleprompter and review “What is Life” scroll down to “Life is a Gift, Accept it” one turns to the other, drop the sunglasses over their eyes and in unison they say? We best start our Comeback! It’s not just the Third Generation of the rich and the famous. It can be anybody but what I believe? The attitude of not accepting that life is a gift is a three generation hand me down. Attitudes, Values, Morals, and Standards set by our fathers, fathers, and fathers tend to set the set the scene for the future generations and they can be good and bad. I heard a story of a Young lady that when she was cooking a roast lamb dinner she would always cut around an inch off the leg of lamb before she placed it in the oven. Her husband always wondered why she wasted that part of the lamb, as the meat closer to the end is so juicy and tender. He asked his wife and she replied, “That’s how my mother taught me”. He was intrigued so next time they went to a roast lunch at his in-laws and she cut off the piece of lamb before placing it in the oven he asked her why she did it. His Mother In-law replied, “That’s the way my mother taught me”. Well another event arrived at they

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ventured off to the Grandparents house and sure enough roast leg of lamb was on the venue and Grandma cut off the piece that would be so tasty and then placed the roast in the Oven. The man could help himself, he asked the Grandma why she did that as her daughter and her granddaughter did the same. Did she do it as it was a secret recipe that made the roast so much better than normal? What was the reason? The Grandma then told him, “Well, when I first got married I was given this wonderful cooking pan, and the first roast I tried to cook in it the Leg of lamb was too big for the pan so I cut it to size, it made no difference to the taste it just fitted the pan. It became a habit and I never stopped doing, and even though I have a new pan? I still cut off the end! Three Generations of wasting the best part of the Leg of Lamb! Do you have a Leg of Lamb in your life? The thing I have found “occasionally” we feel or are made to feel that Life is Not a Gift that it cannot or we must not or accept that fact. We have “Miserable” as part of our DNA; that bitterness, depression, anger is an Inheritance! Passed down from generation to generation just like the leg of lamb story. It’s part of our heritage, Our Culture, “You’re Just like your Father”, “It’s a family tradition” have you heard these? To wipe these things out of your life, create a Comeback to get rid of the baggage and finally accept and enjoy life as a gift? When you were born you were not a Clone of those before you, there is no need for you to

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think, act, live a life of others, and create a Comeback that shapes you. Can you see that if youâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;re living a way that is governed by a tradition, a culture, an inheritance that you cannot live anymore? That is holding back the Gift and acceptance of that gift of life, all you are living is a DHL. Itâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;s time to create a Comeback for these things, and buy a new pan and enjoy all the leg of Lamb!

15 Chat Thirteen: Honesty and Pigeons. Honesty, is such a lonely word - a great song by Billy Joel and I love that line in the song, and I believe that in the society we now live in that word Honesty and all the actions associated with it is becoming a little more lonely. In the years I spent in China and South-East Asia I learnt the honesty had been a lonely word for centuries. The good old custom of â&#x20AC;&#x153;Faceâ&#x20AC;? had kept honesty in shackles for centuries, giving face to friends, family, old and young causes the truth to be put behind in so many cases. My fondest memory of face was around five years ago when I was first living full time in China and involved my elderly father-in-law and me. At that time there was a huge scare going throughout South-East Asia because of 195

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the threat of Bird Flu. It was very serious and the Chinese were so concerned that they actually stopped the sale of live chickens at the markets. Now the Chinese love to see their food alive then have it killed or in the cases of the older generation they will buy Chicken, or fish whilst they are still alive and bring them home and kill them then cook them straight away. The old Chinese don’t have much faith in snap frozen they believe that if you see it kill it cook it well then its gotta be fresh. The Bird Flu fear put a hold on this practise as authorities all over the world were worried about the threat of the disease spreading through the blood of slaughtered animals. A lot of people were very scared about bird flu as it had a huge chance e to become a pandemic and spread all over the world very quickly so it was a huge move to contain it. Well in wonderful downtown Guiyang China, it was my father in-law’s birthday and he was inviting all his mates around for a special lunch and because of “face” he had to make sure that he had all sorts of special fish and in his case the most special dish he could serve to show lots of face was to serve “Pigeon”. No due to face among his friends in his traditional mind he could not serve up the old snap frozen stuff, he had to have fresh swimming and flapping versions. I found out about his little plan and asked him very nicely not to do that, as it was a pretty severe health issue. I understood the culture and face but my life and the others in the house, was more important to me than his or others’ face. Thinking all was done and dusted and settled I went off to my office had a wonderful day of working. It was winter so it was so cold but it was a

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fun day and then I got home. Well swimming in the kitchen sink was two large fish and from the toilet I heard a huge amount of wing flapping, yep you guessed it, live and soon to be executed waiting for the moment were six lovely grey and white pigeons. The household looked at me and then all went scurrying to different sections of the house as they knew an explosion was imminent. I asked who bought the pigeons. That was the sister in law and the niece and I asked why? Well they didn’t want the old boy to lose face among his friends. My big speech back up by Data from all the health sources all over the world my “honesty” about how I felt and my concern for all those that lived in the house was overridden by FACE and a bunch of strangers coming for dinner. I had to make a choice between honesty and deception and I chose honesty. I told all those in attendance that if they wanted to kill those pigeons in the house I would not attend my father in law’s birthday party which to the Chinese is a pretty bold step as he would lose face over that issue as well. Now did they think about it then? Did they think wow Shane is pretty serious now maybe he is right and honesty is the best policy moreover in this case the safe bet choice? NO they threw around excuses that it will only be a little bit of blood surely that can’t hurt us but I stood my ground and proceeded to pack up and head for my office. I stayed there until the dinner was over then I returned home. The house was pretty silent, not much joy floating around, everybody was upset that I was not there but they had to stick by the Old Boy in front of his friends.

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I didn’t understand them and they didn’t understand me, but my father in-law came over and shook my hand and told me he was sorry. It’s been a few years but that moment still causes a moment of great thought in the family, and we have never had another Bird execution since that time. Honesty is a lonely word in China due to face. Families that are torn apart on the inside appear to be all full of joy on the outside so as not show any cracks and allow family to lose face among friends. Students who struggle to meet the exacting demands of parents to perform in the field of education hide and sometimes run to avoid losing face to their parents. The list can go on and on of so many unhappy moments so many Comebacks that don’t happen due to the loneliness of honesty bought about by face, but is honesty just a lonely word in the east? I don’t believe so. What I believe is that honesty in the west has suffered a fate far worse than the thousands of years of cultural issues of Asia. In the West Honesty is a casualty of the freedoms of the twenty first century. The twenty first century has bought about growth and technology that has surpassed all our wildest dreams. What we watched as science fiction even in the 1970’s is now part of our every day lives, things are faster, cheaper, easier than they have even been before. Human rights, legal rights, consumer rights offer protection to us all at a level we have never witnessed in the history of mankind. All could be seen as wonderful forward movement and it

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is, but sadly we now live in an age that has created the watch what you say and do mentality! What do I mean by that? The big catch cry of the 21st Century is called “Political Correctness”. Now it started out as a wonderful little phrase that kept us all on a nice wide path of being correct in what we say and do so as not to offend, but what has happened is that its grown into a single lane of being so careful in what we say and do that there is no hope of a u turn within this small single one way lane. And its fuelled by lawyers just waiting to pounce should you even try and turn it around. It’s a beast that has devoured honesty and placed into a very very lonely place and it is there because of fear. It has caused an attitude where we struggle to say no to our children, that we reward mediocrity, that have created a race that does not understand the word NO nor does it cope with criticism. We have become a world where basically the truth can no longer set us free as the lie of Political Correctness has us bound and chained. Am I on a soap box here? You bet I am. We no longer have politicians that say and run our countries on what is right; they run it so as not to upset the minorities. We have children that we are so afraid to discipline or correct and they can run rampant in whatever way we choose and send our Visa cards crumbling. We can’t market products properly as we don’t want to offend heck even what I write in this book I have to get permission as I have the threat of being sued hanging over my head. Constructive Criticism, Discipline, and Code of Conduct - all subsets of honesty, have been

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cornerstones of greatness and their growth needed to make sure you get there. Learning to roll with the punches, having minor verbal scuffles, taking a bit of flack allowed us to take time to self evaluate. Getting sent to my room as a kid had the same effect, a teacher sending me to the back of the class to sit and think of my actions was a great way to consider my future movements. All these things through the mandate of political correctness no longer live and breathe in our society and its sad. It doesnâ&#x20AC;&#x2122;t matter anymore what is plain and simple and fact, what matters is that we put no noses out of joint, that we do not upset the minority to favour the growth of the right. So much time effort and money is wasted on checking what could come backfire on us in a business deal, rather than a handshake and getting on with making it all happen. But there is hope, and it lies in the future set about by the promise that for every action there is a reaction, for every action you make in moving forward on your Comeback there is a reaction in those that surround you and see the change with minimal collateral damage. For every small glimpse that your Comeback makes and shows in delivery of honesty, I believe that a bright shining star will begin to emerge. I may have caused a stir and trauma by taking a stand with the pigeon but I know that the result has been that no pigeon has died in vain over our Chinese kitchen sink! What am I trying to get at here? Are you prepared to stop letting the pigeons of life fall to political correctness in your life? To move forward on your Comeback? Whatever

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it may be, as I know sooner or later one of your Comebacks will be graced with the question? Do I let them kill the pigeons? Or do I set them free?

16 Final Chat. This is MY Moment This is the moment! This is the day, when I send all my doubts and demons on their way! Jekyll and Hyde “This is the Moment” written by: Frank Wildhorn and Leslie Bricusse. The year was 1993 and the memory of it still brings me to tears today. The memory was of The Mike Walsh Midday television show, the performer was Anthony Warlow. One and half year’s prior he had been diagnosed with Cancer. At that stage he was classed as one of the most gifted talents in the world, an incredible future was ahead of him. In 1992 the fear was that the treatment he would have to go through, could possibly put an end to this brilliant career. He immediately stopped performing and began a gruelling course of treatment. One year later, 203

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after battling and beating cancer, his Comeback performance was aired on National TV, and the song he chose? This is the Moment, and what a moment. It sends chills up my spine, can Imagine what it was like for him? Twelve months before he had gotten the news that most of us, if not all would fear, the dreaded C word. When faced with that, in most cases your life would flash before you, images of loved ones, fun, and joy happiness would all appear and then fear would set in. He went through all those feelings, all the pain and suffering of Chemo and then his Comeback was to appear live on television and sing a song that totally described what he had gone through. What he felt and most importantly that “This was the Moment”. My admiration for him and anybody that has suffered and Comeback from cancer is so high, and words cannot describe what it must be like. To them all, I just humbly bow and give my overwhelming feeling of wow. The song was one of my Mum’s favourites and I have used it as motivation in my mind’s eye on so many occasions when I needed a lift way beyond where I had ever been before. If The Comeback had an anthem, it would be this song. People call the “Rocky” theme and “Simply the Best” great themes to listen to before a moment of peak performance but for me, after digging deep into my soul, searching for answers, struggling with emotions and those of critics, lifting above the abyss and fulfilling a Comeback? This is the song I always want to hear. Whilst I am playing it the background and typing, so many special moments in my life are flashing before me

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and I’m trying to grab hold of one particular moment to share with you, a moment when all the actions and This Comeback Chat have been put in place and I could honestly say:”When all I have lived for becomes Mine”. One moment I could share could be my Comeback as a Father, when I smile each time I read the morning message from each of my Children that ends with “Love you dad”, so special after spending so many years with not even a phone call let alone a hug. Another Vision could be my Comeback as a Brother, when I hug my sister each Wednesday when we have lunch, and we laugh and we cry and we share great moments in our lives, when only a year before she wouldn’t even answer my phone calls. I could share my Comeback as a friend, a friend to all those people I had abandoned and some even hurt terribly over the last twenty five years who now call me just to say hi, who value me, and I them, when only a year ago I didn’t even know where they were and really didn’t care. Maybe it would be the vision of a Comeback as a Businessman, as a healthy person, as a Super Home chef! Or would it be my Comeback to Golf, Photography, and Writing? If you asked me what is my most important “This is my Moment” what is my moment when all I have lived for becomes mine? I would have to answer they are all special, they are all important Comebacks but the one Comeback that made them all possible, the one Comeback that has made the difference? Well that Comeback that is so special to me took a long time. It started around six years ago.

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It started one beautiful night at a Hotel in Kuala Lumpur, I was asked to sing the national Anthem of Australia to about 1500 guests at the annual MANZA (Malaysia, Australia, New Zealand Association) dinner. I would sing it without a backing band, it was so funny I rode my Harley Davidson to the Hotel wearing a dinner suit, people staring at me, but I got to the Hotel safely and once all the guests were settle it was time for my Moment. I was Introduced, I walked on stage, no band just me and I took a deep breath and began with ‘Australians all lets us rejoice” the room stood still, time stood still, for that moment it was just me and the words and they hit me so hard and made me realise I was missing, what do I mean by that? I ha lived overseas, chased fame and fortune, I was in a total DHL frame of mind, but when I was singing our national Anthem it hit me like a ton of bricks falling on my head that my life was a lie. My life was back where the words of the song described; I was so emotional I sang better than I had ever sung before, as the words of the song were so true to me: Australians all let us rejoice, For we are young and free; We’ve golden soil and wealth for toil, Our home is girt by sea; Our land abounds in Nature’s gifts Of beauty rich and rare; In history’s page, let every stage Advance Australia fair! In joyful strains then let us sing, “Advance Australia fair!”

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It had been six years since I had left, six years since I had seen my family, my children, my friends and in the two minutes it took to sing the song all I could see were those people waving at me. By the end of the song I was in tears from the visions I had just had. The DHL was exposed and the Comeback was beginning, it would take another six years for it to be fulfilled, and then July 2009 finally when I touched down in Australia the Comeback of Shane could begin. You see? Unlessyou get you right, the Comebacks you seek will not be right, so the most special Comeback the one that makes the difference is YOU. My sister reminded me,”What happened to the Shane that would sing all over the house?” My brother reminded me “What happened to the Shane that would care more about others dreams and desires than his own?” My Children reminded me, “What happened to our Dad?!” Is this hitting home? People have sung, “Learning to Love Yourself is the Greatest Love of all”. When you get that Comeback right and learnt to Love yourself? All the other Loves will get a Comeback chance to begin to fall into place My Children, my family, my friends all were problems that I had created, I didn’t love myself so how on earth could they love me? If you cannot look at yourself in the mirror and see a reflection of what makes you happy, a reflection that is at peace with itself then that is what others will see. So the first Comeback, the one when all is said and done you will start to sing your song of “Moments” that

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lifts you and makes you smile, that Comeback the first Comeback isyou. So my friend who I have enjoyed chatting with so much the past few days or weeks, I ask you to begin the Greatest Moment of them all, begin the moment when you gather up your past, take the DHL that has held you back and finally bury it. Begin the Moment forget the critics, this day, sit forever with the gods! And when you look back? You will recall that this very moment was the greatest of them all, Your moment Your Comeback. God Bless you enjoy your Comeback whatever it may be.

17 Acknowledgements. I use a few quotes, comments and mentions in The Comeback from information that is freely available on the Internet and I would like to acknowledge these people and quotes. Although the author and publisher have made every effort to ensure that the information in this book was correct at press time, the author and publisher do not assume and hereby disclaim any liability to any party for any loss, damage, or disruption caused by errors or omissions, whether such errors or omissions result from negligence, accident, or any other cause. â?&#x2039; â?&#x2039;

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Mr. Steven Covey 7 Habits of Highly Effective People On Any Given Sunday Al Pacino Speech Sylvester Stallone from the Movie Rocky Balboa Chinese President Hu Jin Tao Harmonious Society Plan Confucius President Barrack Obama Several Speeches Martin Luther King Oprah Winfrey KFC Anthony Warlow Frank Wildhorn and Steve Cuden LyricsJekyll & Hyde(musical) Ken Sheldon and Peter Hudson Russell Morris and Jose De Oliveira

Also thank the following friends and family for their permission to use parts of their life story. ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋ ❋

Craig Hodge Tracy Hodge Luke Hodge Kyle Willersdorf Samara Willersdorf Miranda Willersdorf Jiang Fei YU (Rachel) Doris Smith